Strait Privilege

Summary

Lovett or Leave It: "Strait Privilege"

Host: Jon Lovett
Guests: Joel Kim Booster, Simone
Date: April 11, 2026

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Episode Overview

This episode blends Lovett's classic satirical take on the week's wild political news—including escalating U.S.-Iran tensions—with a lively, freewheeling panel featuring comedian Joel Kim Booster and Drag Race star Simone. The trio riff on everything from political absurdities to queer culture, the realities of marriage, and sex at the end of the world. The show also features audience-submitted sex and relationship questions and ends with the beloved "Egg of Truth" segment—exploring erotic and apocalyptic hypotheticals.

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Key Discussion Points & Insights

1. "What a Week"—Political News Rundown

(02:08 - 13:19)

• Lovett skewers the week’s main event: Trump’s online threats to Iran over the Strait of Hormuz, his apocalyptic social media posts, and the last-minute "ceasefire."
• Satirical takes on the 25th Amendment talk, Melania's bizarre press statement, and ongoing GOP complicity.
• Lampoons Fox News’ acronyms and political spin.
• Mocks the farcical U.S.-Iran negotiations and involvement of unlikely mediators (like Pakistan).
• Comments on Israel’s bombing of Lebanon, the re-closing of the Strait, and layers of confusion:

  “Everybody’s remote. The US Uses Zoom and Iran uses Teams. Israel killed everybody who knew the wi fi password.” —Lovett (08:18)

• Delivers biting humor about the Catholic Church, the Pentagon, and Trump’s disregard for norms.

  “Your plan is to get a 70 year old man from Chicago to stop sharing his opinions. It's inconceivable.” —Lovett (09:30)

• Pointed reflections on Republican responsibility:

  “We cannot lose sight of who is responsible for a president as lawless and corrupt as this one. Republicans in Congress...not only refused to do it, they refused to hold him accountable in any way whatsoever.” —Lovett (10:51)

2. Panel Introduction & Pop Culture Banter

(17:19 - 22:00)

• Joel Kim Booster and Simone join, immediately bantering about Joel’s recent gay wedding:

  “I think gay marriage is a lot like deep dish pizza...It’s great, but it’s not marriage, you know, so it’s its own thing.” —Joel Kim Booster (17:40)

• Discusses deep dish pizza’s impact on the “gay lifestyle,” lovingly poking fun.
• Simone confesses she’s never had deep dish but has been to Chicago—a notable “gay pilgrimage.”
• Simone’s upcoming movie "Stop That Train," a RuPaul-led comedy, is buzzed about:

  “It is exactly what it promises itself to be, which is Gay Airplane.” —Joel Kim Booster (21:10)

• The group relishes queen Jujubee’s standout comedic performance in the film.

3. From Drag Ban Politics to Drag Race Tributes

(21:48 - 24:34)

• Lovett pivots abruptly (“Lovely Segue”) to Kristi Noem’s drag ban attempts in South Dakota.
• Jokes fly about the differences between drag queens and cross-dressers:

  “There is such a fine line, but a big difference between a drag queen and a cross dresser. And this man is a crossy. He’s not a queen.” —Joel Kim Booster (22:46)

• Practical drag advice for “Brian Noem” if he were to compete on Drag Race.

4. Sex, Dating, and Relationship Realness

(24:30 - 36:27): “Intimacy YouY Next Tuesday” Segment

• Audience and staff-submitted questions get candid, hilarious answers:
  • Dating Sober:

    “A really good alternative if you're looking for a non drinking focused date is ketamine.” —Joel Kim Booster (25:16)

    • Ultimately, Booster recommends activity-based dates over bars.
  • Cuckolding Fetishes:

    “That could never be me.” —Simone (28:36)

    • Group laughs over boundaries and preferences.
  • Curious about Throuples:

    “They have a kid and everything, and it works for them. So I guess it does work. But for me, in my brain, I don't think this.” —Simone (29:39)

    • Joel distinguishes between throuple types (“triangle or a V”).
    • All admit they’re not built for polyamory’s extra “work.”
  • Dating Your Doppelganger:

    “If you’ve happened to find someone that you are falling in love with...Don’t let shit like that stand in the way of it.” —Joel Kim Booster (32:01)

    • This was a real story submitted by head writer Halle.
• Deep reflections on marriage:

  “It became this thing of like...our wedding ceremony and the vows that we made...is sort of the macro version of saying we're writing a book...We included everyone in the ceremony...so that like, they felt like they had an investment in us as a couple and we need your help to make sure that this stays intact...” —Joel Kim Booster (33:39)

  • Simone: Wants a wedding focused on celebration, not tradition, hoping for her own moment someday.

5. "Egg of Truth": Erotic and Apocalyptic Hypotheticals

(39:40 - 49:47)

• Participants draw random questions—from the “Egg of Erotic Truth” or “Egg of Apocalyptic Truth.”
• Worst Pickup Lines:

  “Did it hurt when you fell? ...when you fell from heaven.” —Simone (41:00)

• Backhanded Flirting:

  “You do not eat that salad confidently.” —Joel Kim Booster (41:28)

• Surviving Apocalypse with Trump’s Cabinet:

  “Who knows where the food is coming from? ...the rules around cannibalism will sort of have shifted a little bit.” —Joel Kim Booster (42:35)

• Eating Bugs for Survival:

  “You've got to do what you've got to do, honey. It's Fear Factor at that point.” —Simone (43:10)

• Oddest Place for Sex/Most Jaw-Dropping Dating Moments:

  “Back of a Subaru behind a Target in my hometown.” —Joel Kim Booster (44:39) “We have to do this in the living room because my husband’s home, and he’s really racist.” —Joel Kim Booster (45:08)

• Historical Sex Disgust:

  “I like historical dramas, and sometimes I look there and I say, they didn't do us. I know they didn't do us.” —Simone (46:28)

• Asteroid/Earth’s End and Skincare:

  “I'm going out with Glass Skin, honey.” —Simone (47:42) “If I know an asteroid's coming, sunscreen is done. I'm done.” —John Lovett (48:01)

• Who Would You Sleep With Before the World Ends?

  “Boris Kodjoe.” —Simone (48:53) “Riz Ahmed.” —Joel Kim Booster (49:22) “Martin Short. I think we'd have a good conversation.” —John Lovett (49:37)

6. “Second Thoughts” & Reflections

(51:19 - 53:46)

• Lovett apologizes for abrupt transitions, especially into the Kristi Noem drag segment.
• Booster regrets “wearing shorts on an elevated stage,” then reveals a poppers-themed molecular tattoo—prompting laughter:

  “Oh, this is poppers.” —Joel Kim Booster (52:26)

• Simone: “No regrets! I had a lovely time...I look great.”
• Lovett closes the episode, reminding Simone and listeners:

  “It only takes one.” —John Lovett (53:37)

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Notable Quotes & Memorable Moments

• “To defeat Chuck Schumer, you must become Chuck Schumer.” —John Lovett (05:38)
• “It's a beautiful thing. Let's just say Trump made him an offer. They can't Hormuz.” —John Lovett (06:30)
• On doppelgänger couples: “Gird your loins for being made fun of...But if you have happened to find someone that you are falling in love with...do not let shit like that stand in the way of it.” —Joel Kim Booster (32:01)
• On apocalypse skincare: “I'm going out with Glass Skin, honey.” —Simone (47:42)
• On the end-of-the-world celebrity hook-up: “I'm going with Martin Short. I think we'd have a good conversation.” —Lovett (49:37)
• On regrets:

  “I thought I would try. That was me trying.”
  “You know what? This is you trying. That’s beautiful.” —Simone and Lovett (53:31)

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Timestamps for Important Segments

• Political Week in Review: 02:08 – 13:19
• Panel Intro & Deep Dish Debate: 17:19 – 19:00
• "Stop That Train" & Jujubee Praise: 20:17 – 21:48
• Drag Ban Banshee-ing: 21:48 – 24:34
• Intimacy & Sex/Dating Q&A: 24:30 – 36:27
• Egg of Truth (Erotic/Apocalyptic Q’s): 39:40 – 49:47
• Second Thoughts & Regrets: 51:19 – 53:46

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Tone & Style

The episode is conversational, raunchy, and irreverently political—equal parts pop culture, sharp-edged analysis, queer banter, sexual candor, and absurd-meets-real apocalyptic humor. Guests and host riff as friends, maintaining a familiar, witty rapport that pulls listeners in.

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Why Listen?

For political satire and smart, queer-centric comedy delivered by whip-smart panelists who don’t shy away from the personal or the ridiculous. Featuring rapid-fire jokes, pop culture dishing, and candid answers to real listener questions, this episode typifies Lovett or Leave It’s ability to find humor (and realness) at the end of the world—straddling the line between cathartic laughter and sobering insight.

Transcript

[John Lovett]

Love it or Leave it is brought to you by Mint Mobile. I don't know about you, but I like keeping my money where I can see it. Unfortunately, traditional big wireless carriers also seem to like keeping our money too. If you're fed up with crazy high wireless bills, bogus fees and free perks that actually cost more in the long run then it's time to switch to Mint Mobile. Stop overpaying for wireless just because that's how it's always been. Mint exists purely to fix that. Mint Mobile is here to rescue with premium wireless plans starting at 15 bucks a month. All plans come with high speed data and unlimited talk and text delivered on the nation's largest 5G network. Bring your own phone and number, activate with ESIM in minutes and start saving immediately. No long term contracts, no hassle. Ditch overpriced wireless and get three months of premium wireless service from Mint Mobile for 15 bucks a month. You'll save so much based on those other big carriers because those big ones are big, expensive. They're. Yeah, you know, what are you going with them for? If you like your money, Mint Mobile is for you. Shop [e-mail] Love it. That's mintmobile.com Love it. Upfront payment of $45 for 3 month 5 gigabyte plan required equivalent to $15 per month New customer offer for first 3 months only, then full price plan options available, tax and fees extra. See Mint Mobile for details. Hey everybody. Recently I was joined by Drag Race and reality TV icon Monet X Change here on Love it or Leave it and we had a blast. She gave us a scoop of what it's like navigating the housewife mafia on traders and her 36 hour appearance on Survivor. If you enjoyed my episode with Monet, you should definitely check out our weekly podcast, Monet Talks. Monet Talks features captivating conversations that divulge the industry's hottest gossip secrets to success and how to show resilience in the midst of adversity. Some of her recent guests include Katya, Lisa, Rinna, Da David Archuleta, Vanilla Mace and many more. Listen to Monet Talks with Monet X Change every Thursday wherever you get your podcast for the hottest gossip secrets and lots of laughs

[Simone]

with verbocare. Help is always ready before, during and after your stay. We've planned for the plot twists so support is always available because a great trip starts with peace of mind.

[John Lovett]

What's up Los Angeles? Welcome to Love it or Leave It Live at Dynasty Typewriter here for the late show.

[Joel Kim Booster]

Yeah, we are.

[John Lovett]

We've got a great show for you tonight, Joel Kim Booster is here, Simone is here, and we're all feeling romantic and apocalyptic. And while we plan to go out with no regrets, we'll end the show with some second thoughts. But first, let's get into it. What a week. On Easter morning, he had risen and Trump was pissed. The United States President is what he technically is wrote on social media. Tuesday will be Power Plant Day and Bridge Day all wrapped up in one in Iran. There will be nothing like it over Open the fucking straight you crazy bastards, or you'll just be living in hell. Just watch. Praise be to Allah. Wow. At least when Obama praised Allah, he had the sense to do it in private five times a day, every day for his entire life. On Tuesday, with Trump's 8pm deadline for Iran to reopen the Strait of Hormuz fast approaching, Trump went further, writing on Truth Social a whole civilization was will die tonight, never to be brought back again. I don't want that to happen, but it probably will. Trump is acting like someone is forcing his hand, but his hands can't be forced. His hands turn to dust with the slightest bit of pressure. So in the wake of that post, many former Trump acolytes called for his removal from office via the 25th amendment. Enough is enough, said Melania from behind a pair of Groucho glasses. I feel like I did it better in rehearsal. Doesn't matter, wrote Marjorie Taylor Greene, 25th Amendment. Not a single bomb is dropped on America. We cannot kill an entire civilization. Good for you, Marjorie. We talked about it. You're allowed in the secret Jewish bomb shelter underneath Russ and Daughters, come on in. Marge Greene later went on CNN to explain her point of view. The President has a long history of shocking and unprecedented social media posts. Why was this the final straw for you?

[Joel Kim Booster]

Because it's absolute madness.

[Simone]

How can any person that is mentally

[John Lovett]

stable call for an entire civilization of people to be murdered, to be wiped

[Simone]

out, to never come back again?

[John Lovett]

It's like the Holocaust, greene continued. Except this time it's real. And then, less than two hours before Trump's deadline, the President announced on Truth Social that the US And Iran had reached a two week state ceasefire. Good news. The US will not launch a campaign of wanton destruction against the civilian infrastructure of Iran. The bad news? This counts as good news these days. I guess on some level I personally never believed he was actually going to unleash a genocidal attack across Iran because I was at like a quarter tank on Tuesday and I didn't Fill up my car. Like, if I really believed it was gonna happen, I would have gotten a. I would have gone into the evening, I would have got into the deadline with a full tank of gas. So on some level, I didn't really believe it. Here's how Fox News processed Trump's decision. So Democrats are already saying that this is Taco.

[Joel Kim Booster]

Trump always chickens out. Let me give you another acronym. NACHO never avoids confronting hard obstacles.

[John Lovett]

Yes, yes, my boy. Let the cringe flow through you. To defeat Chuck Schumer, you must become Chuck Schumer. Anyway, I have another acronym for you. Trump was never fit for office and still defending him is an embarrassment. That's right. Chunifada has a day. Both sides will now negotiate based on a 10 point plan Iran previously submitted to Trump, which includes lifting sanctions, allowing uranium enrichment and. And granting Iranians control of the Strait of Hormuz. And all restaurant reservations for tables of 12 or more in Beverly Hills, Pakistan signed on to mediate the deal. With talks to begin on Friday in Islamabad, the White House confirmed that Trump is sending junior deal boy Vance to negotiate. That means J.D. vance has to go directly from Hungary where he is campaigning for Putin stooge Viktor Orban to Pakistan without first coming home. More like I didn't pack for this, Stan. Meanwhile, according to the Financial Times, Iran plans to charge vessels, the cryptocurrency equivalent of $1 per barrel of oil, to pass through the Strait of Hormuz, which could be millions of dollars per ship. Trump claimed in a call with ABC's Jonathan Karl that he and Iran discussed collecting fees as part of a joint venture, saying it's a way of securing it. Also securing it from lots of other people. It's a beautiful thing. Let's just say Trump made him an offer. They can't Hormuz. And then. And then on Wednesday, Israel bombed Lebanon and Iran announced that the Strait would be closed again, even though it had never really been reopened in the first place. Israel claims the peace deal doesn't apply to Lebanon. And when you read the fine print, it does look as though the Lebanon bombings only stop if we pay for ceasefire Plus. Vance then said the whole thing amounted to a whoopsie daisy. I think this comes from a legitimate misunderstanding. I think the Iranians thought that the ceasefire included Lebanon and. And it just didn't. We never made that promise. We never indicated that was going to be the case. And you can see how this happens. Everybody's remote. The US Uses zoom and Iran uses teams. Israel. Israel killed everybody who knew the wi Fi password. So it's a tough week for news. It's okay. Vance also made the case for why it's fine for Iran to retain the right to enrich uranium. After all, Golibov said, which again, I found fascinating, is he said, we refuse to give up the right to enrichment. And I thought to myself, you know what? My wife has the right to skydive, but she doesn't jump out of an airplane because she and I have an agreement that she's not going to do that because I don't want my wife jumping out of an airplane. That's interesting. How often is this coming up, buddy? How often is Usha asking to skydive? How often does she lie awake at night imagining the 50 seconds of freedom and weightlessness between God and the ground, where there's nothing but whoosh and a eternity and gravity and the secure embrace of Dustin, the skydiving instructor, who didn't even know who she was. Remember that being unknown. Remember being unknown to the world, to your husband, to yourself. Anyway, speaking of the country's number one Catholic, the Free Press reported that back in January, a senior Pentagon official met with the Vatican's ambassador and lectured him about the Pope's criticism of Trump's military aggression. Boy, right? When the Catholic Church stops protecting pedophiles, we get an administration obsessed with protecting pedophiles. And the Pope from two popes ago was literally in the Hitler Youth. It's like ships passing in the fucking night. They would have been. I mean, the Catholic Church, an older version of the Catholic Church in the Trump administration would have been peas in a fucking pod. Now they got the woke Pope from fucking Chicago also.

[Joel Kim Booster]

Yeah.

[John Lovett]

And also, by the way. Yeah, put the Pope thing aside. Your plan is to get a 70 year old man from Chicago to stop sharing his opinions. It's inconceivable. During the meeting, the Undersecretary of Defense for Policy and a guy who legally can't be rejected from Yale because of his name, Elbridge Colby reportedly told Cardinal Christophe Pierre that the US Military had the power to do whatever it wants and the Pope better take its side. Colby also reportedly brought up the Avignon papacy of medieval France, where the French monarchy gained control of the Papacy from 1309 to 1376, bringing on what historically is known as the era of ze stinky Popes. Got him. Got him. Schism, schism, schism, schism, schism, schism. Is schism acceptable or no? I think schism. I think schism. If you're Jewish, I think schism is acceptable. Technically, it's schism. I know it's schism. I know it's schism. A Department of Defense spokesperson called the report highly exaggerated and distorted. Being dramatic. Muah. How dare you, Said Cardinal Pierre, seen here before, swinging his velvet cape over his shoulder and heading back into the cathedral with 100 foot ceilings and dozens of fully dressed skeletons. Most dramatic fucking people on earth. Look at this. Fucking queens. All right. Speaking of fully dressed skeletons, we cannot lose sight of who is responsible for a president as lawless and corrupt as this one. Republicans in Congress Talk of the 25th Amendment is a tacit admission that Trump should be impeached and removed from office. And the people that could do that not only refused to do it, they refused to hold him accountable in any way whatsoever. Here's what the official Senate GOP account tweeted on Tuesday, after Trump threatened to wipe out Iranian civilization, Iran would be wise to take President Trump at his word. They can choose the easy way or the hard way. The hard way. I choose the hard way, said a sweating, flustered Lindsey Graham. That's why our job is to turn our collective anger at Trump into action to win the House, win the Senate, and ultimately take our country back in 2028. So please do me a favor and go to votesaveamerica.com and sign up right now, because, my God, we gotta take Congress and start turning this country around. Melania Trump just dropped this today. And what you're about to see for those listening, is an interminable walk to the microphone followed by a completely off the wall surprise statement that we don't even understand the context of yet. As of right now, we have no idea why she did this. What the fuck is this? Let's take a look. She starts from so far away. Good afternoon. The lies linking me with the disgraceful Jeffrey Epstein need to end today. What the fuck is that? Where did this come from? Why are we hearing about this now? You distract us from Epstein with Iran. Then you distract us from Iran with Epstein. And so the glorious cosmic dance continues. But like I said, and everyone say it with me. Twin fasadahe. Twin facade. Hey, and we've got a great show for you tonight. We'll be right back with Joel, Kim, Booster and Simone.

[Joel Kim Booster]

Hey, don't go anywhere.

[John Lovett]

There's more of Love it or leave it coming up. Love it or Leave it is brought to you by indecloud. There's a lot happening right now, and most of it is loud. Historically loud, and not in a good way, which is exactly why people are becoming more intentional about how they unwind. Indecloud is designed to help. Indecloud is a fully legal online cannabis dispensary for gummies, exotic flour, premium pre rolls and zero sugar THC sodas. Everything is federally legal hem THC lab tested and shipped discreetly to your door and with 420 right around the corner. New it's always 420 somewhere. New customers get 40% off all month long with Into Cloud's biggest sale of the year. Sleep gummies for nights when your brain refuses to clock out. 0 sugar THC sodas for social plans without alcohol. Premium pre rolls for intentional evening wind downs and 70 ounces for consistency. That actually makes sense. I'm a huge fan of IndyCloud. They have really great edibles like gummies. They have brownies, they have cookies. They have a range of potencies from micro doses to high strength options for experienced users. I be a lightweight experience user and so I always go for like a very little bit. There's a perfect match for every goal. Whether you want to unwind or find an uplifting boost, the world might stay loud. Your evening does not have to if you're 21 and older and a new customer, go to indloud co that's co not.com and use code love it for 40% off your first order. That's indo use code love it for 40% OFF all month long. Ship discreetly to your door plus free shipping on orders over $50 and $30 in free gifts on qualifying orders. And don't forget to fill out the quick survey when you order to support. As always, please enjoy responsibly and thanks to Indecloud. I N D A C L O U D for supporting a calmer 420 love or leave it is brought to you by stamps.com it's staggering that to this very day many small business owners are still making post office runs or are stuck with expensive postage meter leases. It's 2026 enough FASTA mail and ship when you want how you want with stamps.com with stamps.com you can send from your computer or phone 24. 7. No long lines, no low supplies, open anytime, print postage on demand and get up to 90% off carrier rates like FedEx, UPS and USPS schedule carrier pickups right from your door, get carrier compliant labels every time. No errors, no rejected mail, no wasted trips. It's perfect for your business. Send certified mail, get document tracking to confirm delivery and analytics to make sure you know exactly what you've sent and spent for almost 30 years. Millions of customers have relied on stamps.com to make mailing and shipping faster and simple. We're huge fans of stamps.com they've been helping us from the beginning. It's a great way to make sure that you can get your packages to people, get your mail to people that have to go to the post office. And you don't have time to do that. You don't have time to do anything. Not when you need six hours of screen time a day. That's right. Got to get time. Got to get home. Check out your screens. Right now. Try stamps.com risk free for 60 days. Go to stamps.com use code love it. To get 60 days risk free. 60 days is plenty of time to see exactly how much time and money you're saving on every shipment. That's stamps.com code love it. That's stamps.com code Love it. And we're back. All right, Friend of the POD subscribers, we just dropped a new episode of POD Save America Only Friends. If you're not a subscriber yet, please consider joining Friends of the pod. In this episode, John and Tommy talked about the election results out of Georgia and Wisconsin and how Fox News is coping with Trump's failed war in Iran. If you're not subscribed, here's what else you're missing. Polar Coaster with Dan Pfeiffer. Open tabs. The behind the scenes newsletter from PSA editor Reed Churlin. Ad free breaking news from POD Save America. So why subscribe? You're supporting independent, progressive media that will, that will never be owned by an Ellison. I'm 99% sure, you know, to say never in this life, this crazy world of ours, but it's all. I mean, 99.99999%. Almost impossible to imagine Ellison being involved. Almost. It's impossible. Impossible. I'll say never. Thank you. So sign [e-mail] Friends please welcome to the stage my two hottest guests ever. And we've had Danny DeVito. It's Joel, Kim, Booster and Simone. Hi. Hi. Hi. Hi. Hi. Hi. Hi.

[Joel Kim Booster]

Look at.

[John Lovett]

Thanks for being here. Come on in. Welcome to you both.

[Simone]

Hello.

[John Lovett]

So nice to see you. Joel.

[Joel Kim Booster]

Yes, sir.

[John Lovett]

You got gay married.

[Joel Kim Booster]

I did.

[Simone]

I did.

[John Lovett]

Thank God. In January.

[Joel Kim Booster]

I technically December.

[John Lovett]

It was New Year's.

[Joel Kim Booster]

New Year's wedding. Yeah.

[John Lovett]

Okay.

[Joel Kim Booster]

I never thought I'd get gay married. I never thought it was for me. I think gay marriage is a lot like deep dish pizza in that. It is. It's. It's great. But it's not marriage, you know, so it's its own thing. But no, but now that I'm gay married, I think it is real.

[John Lovett]

Well, it's funny, when you said deep, deep pizza, I thought. No, that makes sense. It's. Deep dish pizza is kind of incompatible with the gay lifestyle in a certain

[Joel Kim Booster]

sense, you know, not mine, but.

[John Lovett]

Yeah, no, no, but for. I'm just saying it's a sort of a. It's a big commitment. A deep dish pizza.

[Joel Kim Booster]

Yes.

[John Lovett]

You know, it changes the course of the evening, I find the course of the week sometimes. Sometimes the course of a week. Yeah. Simone, what do you think about deep dish pizza?

[Simone]

You know what? I love deep dish.

[John Lovett]

This piece.

[Simone]

I think it's lovely.

[John Lovett]

Me too. I love it too.

[Simone]

I've actually never had it. I'm gonna be real with you. I never. Did I offend somebody. I'm sorry. I've never had it. No. But I have been to Chicago, so yay for that.

[Joel Kim Booster]

Yes.

[Simone]

Work.

[John Lovett]

Oh, it's so good.

[Joel Kim Booster]

But it's not pizza.

[Simone]

But it's not pizza.

[Joel Kim Booster]

No.

[Simone]

What is it?

[Joel Kim Booster]

It's its own thing.

[John Lovett]

You're on Scrubs.

[Joel Kim Booster]

Yeah.

[Simone]

Woo.

[John Lovett]

Thank you. People are so excited about Scrubs. And then there was a rumor that Zach Braff was dating an AI.

[Joel Kim Booster]

I am familiar with the rumor.

[John Lovett]

And now I had heard the rumor, the rumor, the rumor mill on basically just everyone. I had so many conversations. I had texts, I had people that were like, oh, my God, did you hear? Blank is dating an AI? And it was seven different people, one of whom was Zach Braff. And then he had to say, no, I'm not dating an AI.

[Joel Kim Booster]

Yeah, I got a lot of text messages about that too, because people knew that I was working with him and they were like, oh, is he dating and AI? Is this believable? And I said a lot of things, but he is still technically my boss, so I will say it was so unbelievable. And I couldn't believe that the rumor was started.

[Simone]

Be careful, bitch.

[Joel Kim Booster]

No, I love the check. He's great. And I think it obviously came because there was a literal storyline on this season of Scrubs that he's dating his AI. And I think it just sort of got extrapolated from that.

[John Lovett]

Right. That that was sort of in the fictional world of the show. But. But there's other people that. That are in that I think are much more plausible to actually be dating an AI that I believe. And we can talk. We can not. We'll talk about it. We can just talk about.

[Joel Kim Booster]

Oh, I thought you were about to pull up, like, here's my list.

[John Lovett]

Yeah.

[Joel Kim Booster]

I was like, this is the new segment.

[John Lovett]

And Simone.

[Simone]

Yes.

[John Lovett]

You're. Everybody is so excited about Stop that Train. Hey, the trailer is so good.

[Simone]

Oh, it is. I love it. I love it.

[John Lovett]

So it's RuPaul's comedy. It's you and a bunch of other Drag Race alums.

[Simone]

Yes.

[Joel Kim Booster]

And many other D list gay celebrities.

[Simone]

Let's not forget about those.

[John Lovett]

We have a clip.

[Joel Kim Booster]

Oh, Madam President, we have an emergency.

[John Lovett]

The situation is ongoing. Look at mother monitoring it from every angle. Tell it to me straight.

[Joel Kim Booster]

There's a glamazonian express headed directly into a massive storm now.

[John Lovett]

Tell her, Jimmy. Gay. Oh, so it's a lot of that. I saw.

[Joel Kim Booster]

I saw a very early screening of this movie. Pre special effects.

[Simone]

What? They haven't even told us screening yet.

[Joel Kim Booster]

What the fuck? I will say it's incredible. It's everything you want it to be. You are fantastic in the film.

[John Lovett]

Thank you.

[Simone]

Thank you.

[Joel Kim Booster]

Everyone is fantastic in the film, and it is exactly what it promises itself to be, which is Gay Airplane.

[Simone]

Yes.

[Joel Kim Booster]

That's a perfect description if you are craving the Naked Gun Airplane. Like, it is that, but through the RuPaul lens. That is so dope.

[Simone]

Always the movie she wanted to make, I feel that's what it felt like.

[John Lovett]

Who on the who in the movie was like, oh, my. Like, what? Like, queens from the show were like, oh, wow. They're. They're. They can. They're. They're actors.

[Simone]

Ooh, jujubee made us laugh all the time. That was the one. She was the one. We would always, like, have to stop ourselves and be like, we're. We're. We're on camera right now because she's funny. She's the. Y' all are gonna laugh. She's funny.

[John Lovett]

So Kristi Noemi tried to ban drag on Lovely Segue.

[Simone]

Wow.

[Joel Kim Booster]

Just no loops straight into Christina.

[John Lovett]

You know what? That's my fault.

[Simone]

Yeah. No, no, it's good, though. Keep going.

[John Lovett]

Speaking of people with just incredible features, I think it was.

[Joel Kim Booster]

Right. Speaking of guns.

[Simone]

Speaking of guns. Speaking of guns. That's a good one.

[John Lovett]

Yes. So Nome tried to ban Dragon college campuses in South Dakota, but her husband was.

[Joel Kim Booster]

Wait, did you just say husband?

[Simone]

Are they.

[John Lovett]

Cuz honestly, they might.

[Joel Kim Booster]

They might be certain parts of the country. Husbands are very.

[John Lovett]

Husband was putting on a breastplate at home. How far do we think Brian Gnome would have made it in Drag Race?

[Simone]

Oh, honey, he wouldn't have even made it in the door.

[Joel Kim Booster]

Listen, those wonky boobs. There is such a fine line, but a big difference between a drag queen and a cross dresser.

[Simone]

That's true.

[Joel Kim Booster]

And there is a distinction there. And this man is a crossy. He's not a queen.

[Simone]

This is me and my friends called cedar chest. That's what this is right here. This is drag.

[John Lovett]

But if you were to give. If you. I. And I see the difference, and I know the difference.

[Simone]

Yes.

[John Lovett]

But if you were going to say, you know what if. Let's say. Remember when. Let's say we're in. We're dressing up the crew. We're in the crew episode. He's, you know, he needs a lot of tips and a lot of pointers.

[Simone]

Needs a lot of tips.

[John Lovett]

What are we doing to help Brian Gnome get into?

[Simone]

First of all, we're putting a lot of spackle up there.

[Joel Kim Booster]

Yeah.

[Simone]

We are reshaping this entire foundation. Right here is where we're starting for me, because that's not my daughter right here. This is not my daughter.

[Joel Kim Booster]

I feel like the proportions are also quite off.

[Simone]

Those are quite off. One boob is doing this. One is tits up, literally nipple up. And this one's tit down. So I don't. My daughter would never look like that. So tits would be forward.

[Joel Kim Booster]

She is not in the house of Avalon.

[Simone]

Yeah, she's not a House of Avalon girl.

[John Lovett]

Well, not yet.

[Simone]

Not ever.

[John Lovett]

What if we're at the beginning of a journey? We have not even.

[Simone]

All we.

[John Lovett]

All this. All we know. All we know is that this person is married to Kristi Noem. Yeah. Who was.

[Simone]

You think she knew?

[John Lovett]

You know, like, do you think she

[Simone]

found the breastplate and was like, eh, who knows?

[John Lovett]

Who knows? Balloons.

[Simone]

Oh, they're balloons. That's even worse.

[Joel Kim Booster]

Yeah.

[Simone]

You didn't even get a breastplate, girl.

[Joel Kim Booster]

Yeah, like, you can get them a lot of places these days. Lowe's, Home Depot.

[John Lovett]

Now, taking inspiration from Joel's new podcast Intimacy Coordinator.

[Joel Kim Booster]

Yes.

[John Lovett]

We have invited our closest friends and enemies to submit their most confusing, surprising, or unexpected sex and dating question, as well as a few questions from our team. And boy, people have a lot of weird shit on them.

[Joel Kim Booster]

Oh, shit.

[John Lovett]

Okay. Which is why.

[Joel Kim Booster]

Look around.

[Simone]

Look around.

[John Lovett]

Which is why it's time for a segment we're calling Intimacy youy Next Tuesday.

[Simone]

Ooh, I like that.

[John Lovett]

All right, here's. Let's see. We have some questions. First question, I don't drink anymore and genuinely don't know how to set the mood on a first date without booze. Any suggestions for date ideas or how I Can just. It says here, nut up already.

[Simone]

Nut up.

[Joel Kim Booster]

You know, I don't drink. I haven't been drunk since 2022. And I think like a really good alternative if you're looking for a non drinking focused date is ketamine. And I think that could be really like a nice sort of different mode to go because that's, you know, that's sort of. I, I'm bushwick sober,

[John Lovett]

so. Ketamine, Ketamine, it's everywhere these days. Yeah, everyone's talking about it.

[Joel Kim Booster]

Yeah, there's a lot of sick horses in this country. Okay, does it make, is it, does

[John Lovett]

it make the horses? Does it put pep in their step or does it chill out?

[Joel Kim Booster]

No, it's a horse tranquilizer.

[John Lovett]

No, I know that. But for humans, does it bring us up or does it bring us down?

[Joel Kim Booster]

No, it's down and sort of lateral into a different universe. It's so great because if you do enough of it, you start to feel like you're playing yourself in a video game. Which I find is the perfect state of mind for a first date. Because then it just turns into like a session of the Sims, you know, and that might ease their, their anxiety about first dates. As if they're just simply playing themselves in a, in a simulator.

[Simone]

The first date, though?

[Joel Kim Booster]

Yes, for the first date.

[Simone]

Oh, I feel like that made me go a little. I think we go left, not right.

[John Lovett]

Are you yourself on ketamine? I really am. Like, I'm. All of a sudden you hear about all the. So many people are microdosing ketamine. There's so many people getting ketamine lozenges. I'm hearing a lot about ketamine and I just like, is it. All I know is I know weed, I know alcohol and I know mushrooms. Where am I? Where am I in that world?

[Joel Kim Booster]

I mean, it's definitely, it's a light hallucinogen, so it's closer to mushrooms than it is to weed. I would say for sure.

[John Lovett]

Interesting, Interesting.

[Joel Kim Booster]

But it's perfect for a first date because it does give you. What is the aphasia. So you're unable to forget what people's faces are. You're unable to speak

[John Lovett]

words. Great listener. Great listener.

[Joel Kim Booster]

Exactly.

[John Lovett]

Great listener. Close this down. Close this down. Just receive.

[Simone]

So you don't want to get to know them, you just want to sit and stare?

[Joel Kim Booster]

No, I mean, my real answer for this would be activity based dates. Like, I think that there's, there's a lost art to like going bowling or going putt putting or Going doing something. I actually find bar dates to be really bad for a first date sometimes because it's just, like, you're just sitting there, and there's nothing but the other person to focus on, which is sometimes for good. But sometimes when it's a first date, you really do need to, like, have something to be doing to sort of make it a little bit more, like, easy to get to know the person so that it's not as awkward if you don't have something immediately to say to them.

[John Lovett]

That's a good idea. Yeah. You need more time where you're facing the same direction. Yeah. You know, you can't just. You just need to be able to rotate through different shapes.

[Joel Kim Booster]

Exactly.

[John Lovett]

I think that's smart. On Call Her Daddy this week, Nikki Glaser talked about her hot husband fetish, where she likes hearing about her boyfriend sleeping with other women. Though she doesn't sleep with other people herself. Is this a fetish or just a sign of having too many bookings? She's just too booked and busy. She too successful. It just outsources aspect.

[Joel Kim Booster]

Oh. I mean, is it cuckolding is like a fetish? It is. Like, I know a lot of people who are into sitting in the corner and just, you know, and not being engaged in it and, like, hearing it. I, I. That could never be me.

[Simone]

Could never be me, though.

[Joel Kim Booster]

No.

[Simone]

Could never be me.

[John Lovett]

Yeah. You want to be involved? I want to be involved.

[Joel Kim Booster]

I want to be involved. Or don't ask, don't tell.

[Simone]

Yeah.

[Joel Kim Booster]

You know, like, take me to that space. Like, if, like, the thing is, is, like, if I'm out of town and my husband has had, like, an amazing hookup, I, like, don't. I'm like, who? But if something funny happened, then I want to know about it. If there was some slapstick involved, then please, cher divulge. But other than that.

[John Lovett]

Yeah. Like someone slipped on a banana peel.

[Joel Kim Booster]

Yeah, exactly.

[John Lovett]

You know, or like a piano fell on, like, a board and paint flew up in the air.

[Joel Kim Booster]

He's often landed hooking up with Wile E. Coyote.

[John Lovett]

Yeah, for sure. Right? You go like this, and nothing happens.

[Joel Kim Booster]

It doesn't explode.

[John Lovett]

So you go all the way down to the. You go all the way down to. To the bottom of the bridge, and you're like, what's happening? And then boom. Simone. A couple was looking for a throuple. This is somebody. This is a person saying, I'm talking to a couple who's looking to be in a throuple. I'm not against the idea do you think functional throuples exist or are we fooling ourselves?

[Simone]

Ooh, it's funny you asked me this question, because if I was ever. I don't know if I could ever bring in a third because I get jealous, but I do have a friend. You know what I'm saying? But we could do. See, I have a friend who's in a trouble. They have the whole life. They have a kid and everything, and it works for them. So I guess it does work. But for me, in my brain, I don't think this.

[Joel Kim Booster]

Do you know if it's a triangle or a V? They're set up like, do. Are they. Are they all. Are they all in a relationship together or is it one person has a husband, but he also has a boyfriend, but the husband and the boyfriend aren't dating?

[Simone]

No, they're all together.

[Joel Kim Booster]

They're all together.

[Simone]

So it's a triangle. I was like, wait, does that mean that all of them coming at him or are they all fucking each other? I'm sorry. I was going sexual. I'm sorry, I'm sorry.

[John Lovett]

I get like, oh, you know, like monogamish style or, like, open. But, you know, we're a couple, committed, but we do things. That all makes sense to me. The second you have two boyfriends and there's two birthdays, that seems like life's hard.

[Simone]

Pleasing to people.

[Joel Kim Booster]

Because, listen, I get like, the. I obviously understand non monogamy from, like, purely sexual, like, perspective. Like, I get, like, the variety or the distance being sort of necessitating or whatever, if you're into that. I cannot fathom doing all the work parts of a relationship with multiple people.

[John Lovett]

Right.

[Joel Kim Booster]

Like, because that is at the end of the day, like, I love my husband, but it is work to make that happen every single day. And I can't imagine having to. I mean, how could you ever give 100% to multiple people? I know people who do. I'm like, Simone, I have friends who have been together over 20 years in a. In a throuple, and it works very well for them. But I am not built that way.

[John Lovett]

Yeah, I don't judge it. I'm more amazed and astonished by it. And.

[Simone]

Exactly.

[John Lovett]

Do people not care about their jobs enough? You know what I mean? Should people be working the shift?

[Joel Kim Booster]

The shift to work from home really changed a lot of people.

[John Lovett]

Yeah.

[Simone]

But hey, they have a lot of love to give, so.

[John Lovett]

Yeah, a lot of love.

[Simone]

Lots and lots of love.

[Joel Kim Booster]

Not me.

[Simone]

Not me either.

[John Lovett]

Oh, this one. One I thought was. I recently went out with a Woman who looks a little like me in her photos. In person, we look shockingly similar. Is there a level of doppelganger where you just look too much alike to date?

[Simone]

Oh, I feel like this happens to gay people a lot.

[Joel Kim Booster]

Yeah. I really want to know, is this a. Is this a het couple or.

[John Lovett]

Yeah, this is two women.

[Joel Kim Booster]

Two women.

[Simone]

Okay.

[Joel Kim Booster]

Okay. Because I was gonna say, like, it's like, very first couples, like. Yeah, it's like, go off cuzband. You know, I. Listen, gird your loins for being made fun of for being, you know, girlfriend twins or what have you, because it is, like, a funny thing to joke about when you see it out in the wild. And inevitably, it also happens with couples end up starting to look more and more like each other, I think, as they get older, too. But my thing is, is if you have happened to find someone that you are falling in love with, which is such a rare thing in this life, like, do not let shit like that stand in the way of it. Because, like, if I, like, listen, did I plan on marrying a white man? No. But, like, that is who came into my life, who loved me and who I fell in love with. And I'm not good. That's such a statistical anomaly for that to happen to a person. And I would never deny myself that because it's not convenient for my narrative, you know? And I just think, like, so it's the same with shit like this, where it's like, yes, you're worried about the optics of what the world is going to see, but at the end of the day, if you found somebody like that, then don't let go of them for something so trivial.

[John Lovett]

I just want to note that this was from our head writer, Halle. This is Halle's experience.

[Simone]

Halle.

[John Lovett]

Oh, Halle.

[Simone]

Hold on, Halle.

[Joel Kim Booster]

I'm going to text Hallie and talk about this with her later on board.

[John Lovett]

Halle. So you used to think, oh, I won't get married, and then you got married. What? Like, you were wrong. Why were you wrong? Like, what were you wrong about?

[Joel Kim Booster]

You don't know what you don't know. And listen, I think, like, I had never been in a relationship until I met my husband. And so I was learning a lot of things about myself and what I wanted on the fly as I was falling in love with him. And I think for us, like, A, was like, we both love a party, and B, I think I realized suddenly what marriage was, which is that it wasn't so much about our commitment to each other because we could have been partners for Life. And we didn't need a marriage certificate to tell us that we were gonna do that work, to make sure that that worked. But for us, for me at least, it became this thing of like, when you know, you know when you tell someone you're writing a book, and then it's like, well, now you have to write the book because that person is gonna check in with you and be like, how's the book going? And then you don't wanna be embarrassed. Our wedding ceremony and the vows that we made to each other in front of all the people that were most important to us in our lives is. Is sort of the macro version of saying we're writing a book. And like, you now have to keep us on track. And like, we included everyone in the ceremony in ways to make it so that like, they felt like they had an investment in us as a couple and we need your help to make sure that this stays intact. And so like, when I thought about it in those terms and it was so much more about community and not just about me and him, it made suddenly a lot more sense.

[John Lovett]

Yeah, it's funny too, because I would like it make both. I remember talking to you when you were a person that was never gonna get married. And it's so funny talking to you now because really what you just described is the absolute textbook conservative idea of the purpose. In a good way. I'm good at the purpose of marriage. And I do think there's something interesting about growing into that once you have the right person. Simone, what do you think about the institution of marriage?

[Simone]

Listen, I've never been married. I'm not on my way to being married as of yet. If you see somebody up there. But I think it's a great thing. I think if it's something that you are prepared for and it's something that you really love this person, I think it's a beautiful thing. And I think people the answer to it. Knowing that and the weight of that, I think it's something that everyone should experience with someone they love. Hopefully I get to do that. I'm not opposed to it, but it's just never happened to me yet. Yet.

[Joel Kim Booster]

You guys would throw a sick ass wedding.

[Simone]

Oh, honey, the wedd we go. Here's my idea of my wedding. I would go to the town, was it town square, town hall, and I would get my marriage certificate. I would spend the money on the party. I want to party and I want to have a good time with the people I love and the people we love. So, you know, It's. I guess I could get a dress and a cute tux, but you know, I want to have multiple party outfits. Darling, that's more fun to me.

[Joel Kim Booster]

We changed for sure.

[John Lovett]

Something to look forward to. I'm excited for that.

[Simone]

Yes. You get an invite. Yes.

[John Lovett]

We'll be right back.

[Joel Kim Booster]

Hey, don't go anywhere.

[John Lovett]

There's more of Love it or Leave it coming up. Love it or Leave it is brought to you by Bilt. We can all agree housing is expensive. Rent, mortgage, it doesn't matter which one you're paying. It stings every month, but Bilt can make it feel a little better. Built started out rewarding members on their rent. Now as of 2026, BILT members can also earn points on mortgage payments wherever they live. Every housing payment earns you points. You can use towards flights with top travel partners like United and Hyatt, Lyft rides, Amazon.com purchases and so much more. Personally, I'd go for you get fitness classes, you can get home delivery through Amazon. You can do Lyft rides, you can get a gift card for 120 different kinds of brands. So there's a lot of ways to redeem your points. Here's the most underrated part. Bill members also get access to neighborhood concierge. They can make restaurant reservations, book fitness classes and find new local spots, all while being rewarded at more than 45,000 merchant partners. It's like having a personal assistant baked into where you live. It's simple. Being a renter and now owning a home is better. With Bill Join the membership for where you live at joinbuilt.com love it. That's J-O-I-N-B-I-L-T.com love it. Make sure to use our URL so that know we sent you. Love it or leave it is brought to you by Cook Unity. I'm a huge fan of Cook Unity. I just tried their they had a salmon curry dish that was just excellent. I really liked it. I actually it's a reminder to go onto the website, give them five stars. Get that thing coming to my house again. Cook Unity makes eating well effortless and rewarding. Delivering chef crafted meals right to your door so you can spend less time planning and cooking and more time enjoying the longer, lighter days ahead. Explore CookUnity's menus and discover how chefs are redefining seasonal eating through food that nourishes, fuels and inspires. I'll tell you, yesterday, literally yesterday I had the salmon that I just mentioned. Then this morning Before I came to the office, I had the chicken, a Chinese chicken salad. That was really great. They just make great stuff. It's so great having. Every week I get my six meals from Cook Unity. And I just know that for six of my meals, it's just so easy and so good. Cooking quality meals takes time, but it doesn't have to be your time. With Cook Unity, there's no cleanup or meal planning. Meals are delivered fully cooked. Just heat up in as little as five minutes. Choose from a rotating seasonal menu of over 300 meals. Or let Cook Unity's platform provide personalized recommendations. There are over 25 diets and cuisines to choose from, so you can always match your cravings with your wellness goals. Commitment. Free subscriptions start at as low as $11 per meal. Skip deliveries. Pause cancel anytime. For my six meals, I get something that's like a fun pasta. Then I get some healthier options. Then I just try some new stuff every week. That's what I do. Taste craftsmanship in every bite. From the award winning chefs behind CookUnity, go to cookunity.com l I go to cookunity.com lowly or enter code lowly before checking out. To get 50% off your first order. That's 50% off your first order by using code LOLI l o l I or going to cookunity.com LOLI and we're back. First of all, I just want to say that I'm so excited for Stop that Train.

[Simone]

Thank you. Me too.

[John Lovett]

Which is in theaters on June 12th.

[Simone]

Yes.

[John Lovett]

And Simone's at World Pride in Amsterdam and at a Pride Fest near you. Go to Hesimone on Insta for more information. And Joel's on Scrubs on ABC and Hulu. Hey. And the intimacy coordinator on Smartless Media launches on May 18th.

[Joel Kim Booster]

Wow.

[John Lovett]

Really? Yeah. Do you not know that?

[Joel Kim Booster]

I didn't realize it was that soon. It's coming May 18th. That's cool.

[John Lovett]

May 18th.

[Joel Kim Booster]

That's dope. I love to hear that.

[John Lovett]

It's time for a love it or leave it classic the Egg of Truth. And this week, there are only two topics we want to talk about. Sex and the end of the world based on the news. So we have two eggs here. We have the Egg of Erotic Truth, and we have the Egg of Apocalyptic Truth in a segment we're calling the Egg of Truth. The end is coming.

[Simone]

Shit. Sir.

[John Lovett]

So here's how it works. We have one egg has apocalyptic questions. The other egg has horny questions.

[Joel Kim Booster]

This egg is ready to go to folsom yes, it is.

[John Lovett]

It's a leather egg.

[Joel Kim Booster]

So perfect.

[Simone]

Ooh, she's ready for our video.

[John Lovett]

And just to note, there are some apocalyptic erotic questions distributed randomly in both.

[Simone]

Nice.

[John Lovett]

Simone, why don't you kick us off? Would you like an apocalyptic or an erotic question?

[Simone]

Ooh, let's go erotic, darling.

[John Lovett]

All right, what's the worst pickup line anyone has ever tried on you or that you have ever tried?

[Simone]

So this is when I was younger and I was, you know, watching tv, and I was like, oh, let me go talk to this boy. And I. I'm gonna embarrass myself. I'm not gonna do it. I'm not gonna bear somebody else. And I did the. The cliche one of like, oh, did it hurt when you fell? And they were like, what? It was like, well, you know, when you fell from heaven. And of course it went nowhere, but I was like, oh, you're not supposed to say that. That was. That was for tv. Okay, great check. But, yeah, no, I tried to. You know, it was like 19. 19, 20 years old. Shiloh Reggie. That's my boy name.

[John Lovett]

Yeah, I bet. I bet it worked for you.

[Simone]

Oh, no, it did not. It did not.

[John Lovett]

Joe, what about you?

[Simone]

But I tried.

[Joel Kim Booster]

So this was the day LA reopened after the pandemic. And I think people had forgotten how to flirt. But I was at High Tops in weho eating a buffalo chicken salad. Shout out the best salad in the city. And I was standing. Cause it was so crowded eating the salad. And a guy approached me and said, you do not eat that salad confidently. And I was like, new insecurity just dropped. And then he, like, he literally. Then, like, he was negging me, like he was trying to, like. And then he proceeded to, like, hit on me and ask for my number after that. And I was like, why would you start with a bizarre insult? But that has stuck with me every time I eat a salad now I wonder if I'm doing it with confidence.

[John Lovett]

Did you give him your number?

[Joel Kim Booster]

No, never.

[John Lovett]

Good.

[Simone]

How were you eating the salad, though? Do you want to demonstrate that?

[Joel Kim Booster]

I was standing, hoovering it into my mouth, which feels pretty confident.

[Simone]

Yeah, from what I'm seeing, you look very confident.

[Joel Kim Booster]

Yeah. I don't get it, Joel.

[John Lovett]

Would you like an apocalyptic or a rocket?

[Joel Kim Booster]

Apocalyptic.

[John Lovett]

Let's do apocalyptic. If you could survive the apocalypse, but you had to live in a cave with Trump's cabinet, could you do it?

[Joel Kim Booster]

Yeah, I think I could, actually, because who knows where the food is coming from? And there's a lot of them in the cabinet. And I think post apocalypse, the rules around cannibalism will sort of have shifted a little bit. And I think I could overpower most of them.

[John Lovett]

Wow. Simone, what would you like?

[Simone]

Let's do a pukalakalika. It.

[John Lovett]

All right, let's do. I'm doing this one. Do you think you could eat bugs?

[Simone]

Well, what kind of a bug? Are we thinking? Like a grasshopper? Are we talking about a spider? That's an arachnid. Are we talking about like a. Like what kind of an ant? Any bug. I guess if I had to survive. I gotta do what you gotta do, honey. It's Fear factor at that point.

[John Lovett]

Honey, every once in a while you look at a stripper, you're like, that's a bug. Why can't I eat other bugs?

[Simone]

No, that's a bug.

[John Lovett]

If I eat a big bug, why can't I eat a little bug?

[Simone]

That's right.

[John Lovett]

I had a grasshopper taco once. Not good.

[Simone]

How was that not good?

[John Lovett]

But it was fine.

[Simone]

It was fine. Where did you have that?

[John Lovett]

At a restaurant.

[Joel Kim Booster]

Now, was the grasshopper supposed to be in the taco or was it.

[John Lovett]

It was grasshopper on the menu? Yeah, it was on the menu. Grasshopper.

[Simone]

What comes on a grasshopper taco?

[John Lovett]

Well, it was a grasshoppers and then some kind of a salsa. The truth is, when you eat a grasshopper taco, you do forget the accoutrements because you really are remembering that you ate the bugs.

[Simone]

That's it. That's all that matters.

[John Lovett]

So I don't remember anything other than the. That there was bugs.

[Simone]

Oh, that's another good question. Are there condiments? Yeah.

[John Lovett]

Yeah. Yeah.

[Simone]

Okay, then. Yeah, I can sauce that up. You put a little something on that.

[John Lovett]

I'm in hell.

[Simone]

I'll eat the mayonnaise, I'm sure. Yeah, sure. Why not?

[John Lovett]

Kewpie mayonnaise? I think people have the. I love the Japanese style mayonnaise. And I think there are people that don't like, like, Hellman style mayonnaise that might enjoy a Kewpie mayonnaise. It's just a different kind of mayonnaise. A Japanese style mayonnaise.

[Simone]

Is it lighter?

[John Lovett]

It's just a little different. It's just a little different. Let's do an erotic.

[Joel Kim Booster]

Yeah, let's do an erotic question.

[John Lovett]

What's the oddest place you've had sex?

[Joel Kim Booster]

You know what, it's interesting. I find the, like, where's the craziest place you question like, to be of the who, what, when, where, why the Least interesting. Like, I find, like, who's the craziest person you've ever had sex with?

[John Lovett]

So more of a judge.

[Joel Kim Booster]

But I will say, like, honestly, it's not that exciting. It is the back of a Subaru behind a Target in my hometown.

[John Lovett]

I think that's interesting.

[Joel Kim Booster]

It's not that interesting. People have sex in their cars all the time. It's happening right now outside, I'm sure.

[John Lovett]

All right, then. What is the most jaw dropping thing someone has said or done on a date with you?

[Joel Kim Booster]

Somebody. Oh, this was not a date. I'm not a big dater, but this was a hookup. One of the first guys I ever went to his apartment in New York when I moved to New York. And he. I got there, and he said, we have to do this in the living room because my husband's home, and he's really racist. And I was like, what? And I was like, 24 at the time, and I was really proud of myself that I only gave him a blowjob.

[Simone]

I was gonna ask, bitch. I was like, did you give him some bitch? Cause I would have had to exit, girl, what's coming out that room?

[John Lovett]

Yeah, it's sort of, like, come up with a different reason.

[Joel Kim Booster]

Yeah. No, I was like, you don't have to be honest about everything.

[Simone]

No, that. So many reasons.

[John Lovett]

You keep it down. My neighbors.

[Joel Kim Booster]

Well, and it was one of these things where, like, it wasn't clear. I was like, but against me. You know? Like, I obviously would have put up with it if it was anyone else, but I was like, specifically me.

[John Lovett]

Yeah, but you.

[Joel Kim Booster]

Yeah. Model minority over here.

[John Lovett]

Come on. How could it apply to me?

[Joel Kim Booster]

Mm.

[John Lovett]

Simone, what kind of question would you like?

[Simone]

Let's do erotica.

[John Lovett]

Do you ever think about how gross sex was in history?

[Simone]

Yes, I do, actually. I do. I like historical dramas, and sometimes I look there and I say, they didn't do us. I know they didn't do us. Okay. And I know you. You was a king or whatever, but that's. Can we say peasant?

[John Lovett]

Sure.

[Simone]

You're a peasant. And I know you didn't douche, so. Yeah, I do. Like, I think y' all do.

[John Lovett]

Like Bridgerton, but for real.

[Joel Kim Booster]

And it's like.

[Simone]

But for real.

[Joel Kim Booster]

And just the smells of the wool.

[John Lovett]

The wet wool. Also much sweaty wool.

[Simone]

Yes. And they would pee in their dresses and just walk on about their day. Did you know that?

[Joel Kim Booster]

I did not know that.

[Simone]

Yes, baby. They would pee in the dress because they didn't have no toilets. And so they would just have to let it go. And that beautiful sun.

[Joel Kim Booster]

Are you describing your time on Drag

[Simone]

Race right now, or. Yes, I am, actually. I am. You got me, bitch. You got me. I didn't want to talk about that online.

[John Lovett]

Let's do. I want to do an apocalyptic one. Let's do an apocalyptic. Oh, here we go. An asteroid is heading toward Earth. What is the length of time left on Earth at which point you stop doing skincare?

[Joel Kim Booster]

Oh, I'm going to the end.

[John Lovett]

So it's. So let's say I'm going to the end. Let's say we find out that the asteroid's going to hit in five years. I think we're still doing it. Oh, yeah. But if it's six months, are you really going to do Red Light?

[Simone]

Oh, absolutely. I'm going out with Glass Skin, honey.

[Joel Kim Booster]

I think leading up to, like, maybe two weeks or a week is when I would stop.

[John Lovett]

So that's interesting, because then you can actually measure the sheer percentage of time you're doing skincare as a share of your time on Earth.

[Joel Kim Booster]

Doesn't take long to slap some SPF on people. Okay.

[John Lovett]

If I know an asteroid's coming, sunscreen is done. I'm done. Sorry. No way.

[Simone]

It doesn't matter at that point. It doesn't. It doesn't matter.

[John Lovett]

Yeah. I'm free. I'm free.

[Simone]

Are you committing crimes? Are we committing crimes? Oh, listen, listen. That's what I'm saying. We gotta do it.

[Joel Kim Booster]

I. I would do, like, a victimless crime, like rob a Walmart, but, like, not like one with.

[Simone]

We've already done that. You know, that's what we hope.

[John Lovett]

They're gonna have to. If there's an asteroid coming, everything's gonna be behind the little glass things.

[Simone]

It's true. It's true.

[Joel Kim Booster]

You know, you're pushing the button.

[John Lovett]

Let's do. And we'll do one. Let's do. Let's do one more of each.

[Joel Kim Booster]

Hmm.

[John Lovett]

That's the same as the one about the history. All right. Oh, the world is ending. Your partner has given you the green light. What celebrity are you fucking before we blink out of existence?

[Simone]

Boris Kojo.

[Joel Kim Booster]

Michael B. Jordan.

[John Lovett]

Michael B. Jordan.

[Simone]

Okay, okay, wait.

[John Lovett]

Who was yours?

[Simone]

Boris Kojo.

[John Lovett]

Who's Boris Kojo?

[Simone]

He was on. What was it, Station 19? He was. You know him. He was on.

[Joel Kim Booster]

I know who you're talking about now.

[Simone]

Was it Medea's Film Reunion? Yep. Film Reunion. He was the bus driver. You didn't see. I'll show you. Oh, no, you'll get it.

[John Lovett]

I'll get it.

[Simone]

You'll get it, I promise. You going to look at that man. You're going to be like, yes, I'm

[Joel Kim Booster]

going to change my answer.

[John Lovett]

Okay.

[Joel Kim Booster]

Only because Michael is like, too top of mind. It's an obvious choice, but Riz Ahmed, that's who I am.

[John Lovett]

Riz Ahmed. Riz Ahmed. Interesting. Okay, good.

[Simone]

Yeah.

[Joel Kim Booster]

I had to go with the straight ones because the gay ones are too attainable, you know, Little too.

[Simone]

That's true.

[John Lovett]

I'm going with Martin Short. I think we'd have a good conversation.

[Joel Kim Booster]

Okay.

[Simone]

Yes. I bet he has some wild stories. Bitch.

[John Lovett]

I just like to, you know, I just like to have the evening.

[Simone]

Yeah. Okay.

[John Lovett]

We'll be right back.

[Joel Kim Booster]

Hey, don't go anywhere.

[John Lovett]

There's more of Love it or Leave it coming up. Love it or Leave it is brought to you by blinds.com there's a version of your home you haven't lived in yet. Where the light behaves, where the rooms feel finished, where you sleep until you decide to wake up. Blinds.com has spent 30 years making it easy to find the perfect fit. With over 25 million windows covered and have 50,000 five star reviews, you can feel confident you're in good hands. Whether you want to go full diy, Bring in licensed embedded pros to handle the measure and install or land somewhere in between. You're always in control. They make it simple to choose the level of support that works best with flexibility every step of the way. Need help picking the right style? Book a free consultation with one of Blinds.com's award winning design experts. No pushy salespeople, no awkward in home visits, just real advice on your schedule. They'll even ship samples to your door fast and free. Choose from a huge variety of style options at prices that fit any budget. Everything is backed by blinds.com's 100% satisfaction guarantee. Because at blinds.com, the only thing they treat better than Windows is you. I love blinds.com we got blinds.com here at Cricut. They're great. You can customize it to the window. You get free samples. They come right to your door. You can choose something that looks cool. They have all kinds of blinds and shutters. You know, don't sleep on shutters right now. Blinds.com is giving our listeners an exclusive $50 off when you spend $500 or more. Just use code. Love it at checkout. Limited time. Offer rules and restrictions apply. See blinds.com for details. And we're back.

[Joel Kim Booster]

Woo.

[John Lovett]

And now it's time for everyone's favorite Exercise in self correction. I mean, reflection, second thought, thoughts. Here's how it works. I have a list of potential second thoughts for us. Let's see. First, second thought. Danny DeVito caught a stray in the intro for tonight's guest. I think that was a bit unfair to bring him up. Oh, I jumped into the Kristi Gnome question without any segue. It was probably jarring for you, and I'm sorry.

[Joel Kim Booster]

Missed opportunity for sure.

[John Lovett]

Yeah. There's so many obvious, fun ways we could have gone into it, and I didn't even. I didn't.

[Joel Kim Booster]

I would have loved to see you thread the needle of, like, connecting. Like. Like, dog murder, too. Like, whatever we were just talking about.

[John Lovett]

Joel, any regrets?

[Joel Kim Booster]

I regret wearing shorts on an elevated stage because I feel like, you know, that was a mistake.

[John Lovett]

I think they look nice.

[Joel Kim Booster]

Thank you.

[John Lovett]

I like the shoes. I like the. There's a kind of. There's kind of like a schoolboy energy, too, with the shoes and schoolgirl kind of mixed in there with the socks. What is the. Speaking of shorts on your thigh, there's a molecule.

[Joel Kim Booster]

Oh, this is poppers.

[John Lovett]

Is it really?

[Joel Kim Booster]

Yeah. Amyl nitrate poppers.

[Simone]

That's it.

[John Lovett]

Look at that.

[Joel Kim Booster]

It's scratch and sniff.

[Simone]

Okay.

[John Lovett]

And then. And that's fun. Poppers. Is it really poppers?

[Joel Kim Booster]

It is really poppers. It's sort of a joke that I wanted to make forever.

[Simone]

It's good. It's a good conversation starter.

[John Lovett]

I think it's good because it could have been something like. It's serotonin.

[Joel Kim Booster]

Oh, no. I love when, like, my, like, PA comes in and she's this wonderful straight woman, and she's like, I love organic chem. I bet I can guess what this is. And I'm like, baby, I don't think you can. I don't think they were covering this one in med school, but maybe they were. Maybe they should.

[John Lovett]

Simone, do you have any regrets? Any second thoughts?

[Simone]

No. I had a lovely time. I had a great time. I look great. You guys would love to talk.

[John Lovett]

You do look great.

[Simone]

The lighting is great. The audience is lovely. I have no regrets.

[John Lovett]

No regrets. No. And I don't.

[Simone]

I need to date more, it seems.

[John Lovett]

We gotta get out. Hey, we gotta get out.

[Simone]

Yeah. Get out there. You know anyone? No. All right.

[Joel Kim Booster]

No.

[Simone]

I thought I would try. That was me trying.

[John Lovett]

You know what? This is you trying. That's beautiful.

[Simone]

Thank you.

[John Lovett]

It only takes one.

[Simone]

It only takes one.

[Joel Kim Booster]

That's right.

[John Lovett]

You know, Joel was a hardened cynic.

[Joel Kim Booster]

One and done.

[John Lovett]

And look at you.

[Simone]

Married, sir.

[Joel Kim Booster]

One and done.

[John Lovett]

And I don't regret making everyone think about how gross sex used to be. That's our show. Thanks everybody. Thank you to Joel Kambooster and Simone. We will see you next week at Dynasty Typewriter right here. There are 205 days until the midterms. Holy shit. Have a great night and have a great weekend. If you're already scrolling endlessly, which we know you are, don't forget to follow us at Crooked media on Instagram, TikTok and all the other other ones for original content, community events and more. You can also find Love it or leave it on YouTube for videos of your favorite segments and other YouTube exclusive content. And if you want to type our praises or rip us a new one, consider dropping us a review. Finally, you can join Crooked's Friends of the Pod subscription community for ad free Love it or Leave it and Pod Save America episodes, subscriber exclusive pods and more. Sign [e-mail] friends love it or Leave it as a Crooked Media production. It's written and produced by me, John Lovett. Kendra J. Is our executive producer, Bill McGrath is our producer, Hallie Heifer is our head writer, Sarah Lazarus is our senior staff writer and Jocelyn Kaufman, Peter Miller, Alan Pierre and Suba Agwal are our writers. Jordan Kantor is our editor, Kyle Seglin and Charlotte Landis provide audio support. Stephen Colon is our audio engineer. Our theme song is written and performed by Shur Shure. Thanks to our designer, Sammy Cadorna Reeves for creating and running all of our visuals, which you can't see because this is a podcast and to our digital producers, David Towles, Claudia Shang, Mia Kelman Delon Villeneuve About Jay Banks, Milo Kim and Rachel Gajewski for filming and editing video each week so that you can Love it or Leave it is produced by Lee Eisenberg and our head of production is Matt de Groot, and our production staff is proudly unionized with the Writers Guild of America East. It.