The Pride Will Continue Until Morale Improves

Summary

Podcast Summary

Lovett or Leave It – "The Pride Will Continue Until Morale Improves"

Date: June 19, 2026
Host: Jon Lovett
Guests: Brendan Scannell, Ashley Ray, and Asuka Okotsuka

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Episode Overview

This lively Pride Month episode of Lovett or Leave It brings together comedians Brendan Scannell, Ashley Ray, and Asuka Okotsuka for a campy, insightful, and irreverently honest look at queer current events, allyship, polyamory, and comedy careers. The show celebrates LGBTQ+ culture with trademark humor and sharp social commentary while skewering both political hypocrisy and queer community debates.

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Key Segments & Discussion Points

1. Pride Month News, Jokes, and Rants

Timestamps: 01:10 – 10:58

• Lovett kicks off with a "what a week of gay news" monologue, lampooning everything from drag queen copyright suits ("Drag queen Patagonia is going toe to toe with outdoor clothing brand Patagonia… The goal is, of course, to get a hung jury" – Lovett, 01:28) to conservative meltdowns over “bottom-friendly” Pride recipes.
• Spotlights significant LGBTQ+ pop culture news:
  • JLo's quirky support for the queer community.
  • Boise, Idaho's "fag poles" workaround to Pride flag bans.
  • Rosie O'Donnell's facelift and post-op media scrum.
  • Musical theater shoutouts, like "Cats" costumes by trans designer Queen Jean.
  • The politics of Pride, including states designating "Nuclear Family Month" and the hypocrisy of virtue-signaling politicians like Arkansas’s Sarah Huckabee Sanders.
• Lovett’s signature rant contrasts supposed “traditional values” states with their actual statistics on divorce and mortality rates versus liberal states:

  "If people like Sarah Huckabee Sanders want to know what’s actually hurting family, she shouldn’t be looking at Pride parades – she should be looking in the mirror." (Lovett, 04:31)

• Emotional note honoring rugby player Kane Williams coming out:

  "For every person speaking up, there’s someone out there who can’t or is working up the courage to try... That’s what Pride is all about." (Lovett, 09:00)

2. The Gift Exchange & Personal Updates

Timestamps: 12:03 – 13:47

• Lovett reunites with Ray and Scannell. Playful banter about not being invited to Lovett’s wedding and exchanging gifts, including Brendan’s solo show hat and “missing” candles.
• Updates on Pride activities; Lovett admits to skipping parades for video games:

  "I got dressed to go…had a little edible…and I looked at Ari and said, this is Pride. Pride can be whatever we want. I want to play video games for four hours." (Lovett, 13:09)

3. Polyamory Goes Mainstream?

Timestamps: 14:54 – 18:19

• Ashley Ray discusses the highs and lows of being polyamorous and bisexual. Polyamory’s new visibility on reality TV ("This is Poly") gets a skeptical but humorous review:

  "There's all these new covers that are like, Polyamory: it's going to save your boring marriage. It’s not. Just don’t do it." (Ashley Ray, 15:53)

• Lovett and co. debate the stress, logistics, and relationship hierarchy of polyamory:

  "Fair weather ideology to me…Who's gonna hold your hand when you're dying? You’re not gonna get two." (Lovett, 17:39)

• Candid, relatable tales of getting left behind in an emergency reveal the real-life pecking order in polycules.

4. Game Segment: "Friends of Friends of Dorothy" (Best LGBTQ+ Ally)

Timestamps: 18:19 – 25:29

• Rapid-fire tournament of "vocal LGBTQ allies," featuring Guy Fieri, Hilary Duff, Johnny Knoxville, Daniel Radcliffe, Dwyane Wade, and Elizabeth Taylor.
  • Hilarious debate with fun facts, e.g., Fieri’s nacho barrel and Duff’s iconic PSA.
• Final tally: Elizabeth Taylor wins for her trailblazing AIDS activism and iconic status.

  "There is no gay agenda. It’s a human agenda." (Elizabeth Taylor, quoted by Lovett, 24:44)

• Anecdote about a hairdresser stealing Taylor’s wigs adds classic queer flair (Brendan Scannell, 25:06).

5. Comedy Careers & Fringe Festival Talk

Timestamps: 28:20 – 32:48

• Asuka Okotsuka joins, returning Lovett’s long-lost jacket and apologizing for tardiness.
• Brendan announces his solo show, "The Abyss," about family and mental illness, staged in a (figurative and comedic) sinking submersible.
• Real talk about the challenges and breakdowns of performing at Edinburgh Fringe—"You do come out a stronger artist, though." (Okotsuka, 32:35)

6. Competition Comedy & Kevin Hart

Timestamps: 32:48 – 35:38

• Ashley Ray discusses her time on "Funny AF with Kevin Hart," noting the actual camaraderie among comedians, and a pointed observation about Hart’s distaste for short jokes ("He might act like he’s cool, don’t think he’s really cool with it." – Ray, 33:53).
• Lovett and Scannell riff on being short and the various advantages, both comic and practical.

7. Relationships, Marriage, and Polyamory, Revisited

Timestamps: 35:39 – 39:43

• Discussion of childlike partnership dynamics in marriage (Okotsuka: "You get to be very childlike. Married people say things like, 'That’s my best friend.' It’s very childlike, actually." 35:38)
• More polyamory vocabulary ("metamorph," "hinge partner," "kitchen table polyamory") and the logistics involved.
• Jokes about polycommunes, rent-sharing, and Mrs. Doubtfire–style confusion.

8. Lightning Round: "Gay for Takes"—Debatable Hot Takes

Timestamps: 41:36 – 48:02

• Each guest forced to defend a spicy or purposely contentious Pride take, regardless of their real beliefs:
  • Should we stop asking drag queens to do the splits? (Scannell: "Drag is an art form, not about doing flips and splits." 41:41)
  • Is it harder to be a straight woman than a gay man? (Absurd, comedic endorsement by the group)
  • Monogamy: the best way to have a relationship? (Ray: "Secretly cheating is French and sexy and that’s what a lot of monogamous people do…" 44:43)
  • Is gay meanness excusable? Lovett pushes back:

    "Just because you have a little lilt... doesn’t mean it’s charming. Sometimes it is, but..." (Lovett, 46:09)

• Fitness instructors (gay and otherwise) come in for affectionate ribbing.

9. Second Thoughts & Regrets

Timestamps: 48:02 – End

• Lovett addresses off-color jokes ("fag pole," "terrible lifestyle," "Cats" slander) and sincerely apologizes to the poly community and the uninvited wedding guests:

  "I'm sorry for not inviting you guys to the wedding." (Lovett, 49:02)

• Ashley Ray plugs the Field app for poly folks and laments TV’s bad polyamory representation.
• Brendan Scannell apologizes to his boyfriend (and towel habits in Stardew Valley).
• Asuka, true to her sunny comic persona, claims no regrets: "I mean, no. I live... Oh, I'm doing the game wrong." (51:06)
• Group wraps with Pride well-wishes and a cheerful “Happy Pride!” (51:11)

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Notable Quotes & Memorable Moments

• “Pride is silly because it’s serious. For every person speaking up, there’s someone out there who can’t, or is working up the courage to try.” – Jon Lovett (04:35)
• “Oh, so you’re a slut.” – Ashley Ray, quoting her mom’s reaction to her coming out as bipoly (15:12)
• “Pride can be whatever we want. I want to play video games for four hours.” – Jon Lovett (13:20)
• “I want to be polyamorous so I can have more help on the farm.” – Brendan Scannell (17:00)
• “There’s no gay agenda. It’s a human agenda.” – Elizabeth Taylor, remembered by Lovett (24:44)
• “Just because you have a little lilt in your voice doesn’t mean it’s charming… Are you being cool and funny, or just being a huge cunt with a little lisp at the end?” – Lovett (46:09)
• “Shout out monogamy, the OG.” – Lovett (46:06)
• “Maybe poly people are the most adult, actually, because these vocab words are sending me.” – Asuka Okotsuka (37:59)
• “It takes a village to pay rent.” – Asuka Okotsuka (39:28)

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Episode Takeaways

• Queer joy and community thrive alongside political and personal challenges; the podcast balances both with humor and vulnerability.
• Allyship is recognized across pop culture eras (Elizabeth Taylor to Dwyane Wade), and representation—good or bad—continues to matter deeply.
• The polyamory discourse is both a punchline and a window into evolving relationship norms, with both empathy and skepticism from the hosts.
• Pride is celebrated not just as an act of visibility, but as a deeply personal, varied, and sometimes subversive act—whether at a parade, on stage, or at home in pajamas.

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Timestamps for Key Segments

• Pride News Monologue: 01:10–10:58
• Gift Exchange & Wedding Banter: 12:03–13:47
• Polyamory Discussion: 14:54–18:19
• Best Ally Game: 18:19–25:29
• Comedy Conversations (Fringe Festival): 28:20–32:48
• Competition Comedy: 32:48–35:38
• Marriage & Polyamory Redux: 35:39–39:43
• Gay for Takes Lightning Round: 41:36–48:02
• Second Thoughts & Apologies: 48:02–End

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This episode exemplifies Lovett or Leave It's unique blend of wit, satire, and sincerity, making it a must-listen for those seeking both laughs and thought-provoking social commentary during Pride—and all year long.

Transcript

[Narrator/Announcer]

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[John Lovett]

Hi diva, It's Rachel and Jordan.

[Brendan Scannel]

Yeah, hi.

[Asuka Okotsuka]

Quick question.

[John Lovett]

Why are you not spending your Venmo balance?

[Ashley Rae]

Yeah, we're concerned you can like buy stuff with it.

[Brendan Scannel]

Ugh.

[Ashley Rae]

You love buying stuff and earn cash back on eligible purchases.

[John Lovett]

You love purchasing eligible things. So the money your friend sent you yesterday, that's today's ramen or rideshare or eye patches. The skincare kind, not the pyro kind.

[Ashley Rae]

Spend with Venmo and you can earn cash back with Venmo Stash.

[John Lovett]

Venmo Stash bundle terms and exclusions apply. That's $100 cash back per month. See terms at Venmo Idaho.

[Ashley Rae]

Verification required to use a Venmo balance.

[John Lovett]

Welcome to Love it or Leave It. Live from Hollywood, I'm Jon Lovett. Publicly gay since Y2K. We've got a great show for you tonight. It's part two of our big gay Pride spectacular. But first, let's get into it. What a week of gay news.

[Ashley Rae]

Ding.

[John Lovett]

Drag queen Patagonia is going toe to toe with outdoor clothing brand Patagonia after the company sued her for copyright infringement over her stage name. We'll win this case, bitch, said her lawyer. Subpoena Colada. You may wonder, how does Patagonia afford the legal fees? Her lawyer is doing it pro boner. The goal is, of course, to get a hung jury. Conservatives lost it this month when HelloFresh once again posted a collection of fiber rich, bottom friendly recipes for Pride. I always knew fiber was gay, said a conservative influencer on the toilet for either the fifth time today or the first time in two weeks. This thing about fiber, you know? In an interview without magazine, Jennifer Lopez told the LGBTQ community, everything I do, as I'm doing it, I'm thinking about you and J.

[Asuka Okotsuka]

Lo.

[John Lovett]

On behalf of the LGBTQ community, tell us the name of your plastic surgeon or I will tell a reporter that you called me a faggot. And they'll believe me because it is a crazy thing to make up. After Idaho lawmakers banned pride flags on city and county property the city of Boise has outsmarted them by installing rainbow wrapping on the flagpoles themselves. Flagpoles? More like fag poles. Speaking of pulling things up, Rosie o' Donnell got a deep plane facelift. She looks awesome. Look at that. Great. Good for Rosie. The lesbian icon told reporters at the Tonys that she was mobbed at the airport for the first time in 15 years, all craning to get a look at her new face. Said one disappointed photographer, it was just the normal number of eyes mouth in the usual place. Speaking of the Tonys cats, the Jellicle Ball won three awards this year, including best costume design in a musical by trans designer Queen Jean. Yes, Queen Jean looked at cats and said, what if this time they're not cats? What if they're a bunch of gay guys? And for that, we honor her. And honestly, it's better. It's kind of crazy that they're cats at all. It's the weirdest and worst part of the musical. They're already going to dances and singing about the memories of their lives. That's what people do. Do cats even have memories? I never met a cat for a second time and felt like we were picking up where we left off. And most of the songs and Cats are just the cats introducing themselves. Mr. Mistoffeles is just a magician. He could be a person. The musicals should just be called people and have them be people getting ready for a big party. Note to self, a musical about people. Nobody steal this. Speaking of musicals about people, Luke Evans busted out the bustier in his Tonys performance of Sweet Transvestite from Rocky Horror Picture Show.

[Asuka Okotsuka]

Yeah.

[John Lovett]

Beep beep beep, chimes speaker of the House Mike Johnson's Christian Fitbit that tells him to take a cold shower while on Andy Cohen live. Madonna said JFK Jr. Was the best sex she ever had, but clarified, when it comes to talk about lovers, I'm only going to name dead people. Kind of weird. I've always preferred having sex with living people. During the San Francisco Giants Pride night, two pitchers wrote a Bible verse on their rainbow Pride caps. Nice try, boys. You still looked fabulous. The MLB issued a warning to the players, which J.D. vance retweeted on Tuesday with the caption trump won. We don't have to do this anymore. Tough talk for a guy who spends every day on his knees. That wasn't the only protest against pride. This year, the governors of Indiana and Tennessee are counter programming Pride, declaring June to be Nuclear Family Month. The only difference between the Pride Parade and the Nuclear Family Parade is that the gay guys at the Pride parade are a little less horny. In Arkansas, the governor declared it Fidelity Month. In her proclamation, she quoted George Washington, who said, virtue or morality is a necessary spring of popular government. The governor advocating for virtue and morality is Sarah Huckabee Sanders, who was the former spokesperson to President Donald Trump. But hey, she cares deeply about building a virtuous society, unlike the godless, cum guzzling heathens in California and New York. So let's compare, okay? Which society is doing a better job of upholding conservative family values that she claims to care so much about? That's weird. Arkansas has the highest divorce rate in the country, and that's after Bill and Hillary Clinton rolled up their sleeves and made it work. But maybe, maybe that's unfair. Maybe it's just because people in Arkansas get married more often because there's not much to do during the eight months of the year when the water parks are closed. But Arkansas also has one of the highest rates of infant mortality, along with Alabama, which declared June to be strong families monthly with twice the infant mortality rate as here in California. On the other hand, some of those infants would have ended up gay. And it's hard to tell which one, as all babies have pretty limp wrists. Too dark. Well, buckle up, Arkansas. All right, where? Arkansas, where instead of celebrating pride, they're celebrating traditional values, also has one of the highest maternal mortality rates in the country, behind only Tennessee, Mississippi and Alabama. Almost four times as high as the rate here in Woke Trans, California. Now, my writers begged me to cut all of this screaming. This is the Pride show, and people are trying to have fun. And I am having fun. And you're all having fun. This is fun. You know who's not having fun? All those mothers who aren't alive. Yeah, that's okay. That's the good feeling. That's right. Because if people like Sarah Huckabee Sanders want to know what's actually hurting family, she shouldn't be looking at pride parades and she should be looking in the mirror. Now, I know this is heavy, but guess what? Pride is silly because it's serious. Because for every person speaking up, there's someone out there who can't or is working up the courage to try. Like National Rugby League star Kane Williams, who just came out as gay, becoming the first men's professional rugby league player to do so since 1995. I've carried that around my whole life. But I'm here today to. To sort of to show people that, you know, you don't have to live like that. Even now, I feel a bit more free. Just by saying it out loud, I've brought it to the light and I feel like a weight has sort of lifted off my shoulders. The Ellen of rugby, they're calling him, and boy, does he hate it. That's what pride is all about. And we won't stop until every hot rugby player stops lying to themselves and admits that they are gay. All right, and we've got a great gay show for you tonight. We'll be right back. Hey, don't go anywhere. There's more of Love it or Leave It Coming up. This episode is sponsored by BetterHelp. While summer is often associated with endless vacations, pool parties and relaxation, it isn't always a joyful season for everyone. If the longer days and rising temperatures feel overwhelming rather than bright, remember, you don't have to carry that weight alone. BetterHelp is here to support you wherever you need it. With over 30,000 therapists, BetterHelp is the world's largest online therapy platform, Having served over 6 million people globally and it works with an average rating of 4.9 out of 5 for a live session based on over 1.7 million million client reviews. BetterHelp therapists work according to a strict code of conduct and are fully licensed in the US BetterHelp does the initial matching work for you so you can focus on your therapy goals. A short questionnaire helps identify your needs and preferences. If you aren't happy with your match, switch to a different therapist at any time from their tailored wrecks. You gotta have therapy. Everybody needs it. I need it, you need it. You don't have to say yes to everything this summer. Find support in therapy. Sign up and get 10 [e-mail] Love it. That's BetterHelp H-E L P.com Love it. Love or Leave it. Brought to you by Bombas the weather is warming, the days are longer, we're saying yes to more plans and finally getting outside. Running, hiking, moving again. It's the perfect time to upgrade your everyday go to footwear with bombas. Bombas are cushioned where you need it, sweat wicking, and they don't slide around so you're not constantly adjusting your socks. And with the weather warming, it's time to add Bomba sandals to your footwear collection. Their Friday slides are made with this super lightweight and waterproof EVA that's soft but still supportive. I love my Friday slides. In fact, just for fun, I was looking the other night. Irrespective of them being a sponsor and deciding, do I want another pair because they're comfortable and I could get a different, brighter care because I wear them to pilates all the time. But maybe I want an everyday pair that I'm not wearing to the gym. You know what I mean? Maybe I get a second one just for fun. You can slip them on and go when you're doing errands, lounging outdoors, comfy and casual. I love Bombas. I wear mamba socks every day. Wear the slides every day. They're the best. And for every item you purchase, an essential clothing item is donated to someone facing housing insecurity. One purchase one donated. With over 150 million donations and counting, head over to bombas.com love it and use code love it for 20% off your first purchase. That's B O M B A S.com love it. Code love it at checkout. And we're back. Brendan Scannel, Ashley Rae, and Asuka Oconsuko will be out in just a moment. But first pride month is here and it's time to dress like it. This season, the crooked store is dropping gayer than ever in two brand new designs and bringing back an old favorite, the gay for democracy shirt.

[Brendan Scannel]

Plus class.

[John Lovett]

That's like Dreamboat Willie. That's the one I'm wearing because we're allowed to use Steamboat Willie now because it's. What do you call it there? Common. What's it called?

[Asuka Okotsuka]

Public domain.

[John Lovett]

Public domain. So I can make Steamboat Willie kiss. Nobody can stop us. Ha ha. Gotcha. Gotcha. What's the mouse gonna do about that? Nothing. Plus the ever reliable join or die T shirt. Whether you're celebrating with the community, protesting, or guilting your straight friends into buying you crooked merch in the name of gay rights, there's something here for Everybody. Go to crooked.comstore to get those things. Also, if you're in LA, you can be like these lovely people

[Asuka Okotsuka]

and come

[John Lovett]

see us tape an episode live. Go to crooked.comevents to check out our new space and upcoming guests including Ify Wadway, Ali Sediq, and the iconic John Stamos. How about that and more. All right. Please welcome to the stage. They put the B in lgbtq only this time. The B stands for bitches. Complimentary. It's the hilarious Ashley Ray and Brennan Scannel.

[Brendan Scannel]

Hi.

[John Lovett]

Oh, no.

[Asuka Okotsuka]

Yeah.

[John Lovett]

Hi to you both.

[Asuka Okotsuka]

Hello.

[Brendan Scannel]

Hi, John.

[John Lovett]

I haven't seen you both in so long.

[Brendan Scannel]

We were talking about how we weren't invited to your wedding.

[Ashley Rae]

Ah,

[Brendan Scannel]

my cousins. Every time I'm on the show are like, tell John hi. And I'm like, we're not that close.

[Ashley Rae]

Didn't get the wedding invite?

[Asuka Okotsuka]

No.

[John Lovett]

What?

[Ashley Rae]

The pictures were gorgeous. They were beautiful.

[John Lovett]

What do you mean? Wait, what? You guys weren't there.

[Asuka Okotsuka]

What?

[John Lovett]

I know what?

[Brendan Scannel]

But I did make you a gift.

[John Lovett]

We got you a gift. We got you a gift.

[Ashley Rae]

We did.

[John Lovett]

Oh, let's see. Oh, my gosh.

[Brendan Scannel]

It's a hat.

[John Lovett]

The abyss.

[Brendan Scannel]

It's merged to my solo show, if you can believe.

[Ashley Rae]

Yeah.

[Brendan Scannel]

Wow.

[John Lovett]

That is.

[Ashley Rae]

I also support.

[Brendan Scannel]

And there is a candle in there.

[John Lovett]

There is. Oh, I'm still looking for the candle. No candle. I thought there might be a lolabo candle, but it is just an unrelated hat.

[Brendan Scannel]

Well, I keep bags. You know the bags.

[John Lovett]

You got to keep bags. Hey, how's your pride going so far?

[Brendan Scannel]

Good. Didn't go to either of the parades.

[John Lovett]

I'll tell you something, I got fully. This is real. I got dressed to go. Like, literally, we, like planned around it. I put on my little tank top and my little shorts and I swear to God. And I. I had a little edible. And I looked at Ari and I said, this is pride. Pride can be whatever we want. I want to play video games for four hours.

[Asuka Okotsuka]

Yes.

[Ashley Rae]

Yeah.

[John Lovett]

And I know that I should want to go to the pride parade and I want to want to go, but right now at this moment, that's not what it means to be gay for me. And if pride is about anything else, it has to be about that.

[Brendan Scannel]

What game are you playing?

[John Lovett]

I'm playing the Talos Principle 2. It is a game that mixes my love of puzzles with.

[Asuka Okotsuka]

With.

[John Lovett]

With too long dialogue about the nature of consciousness. Wow. And it's like, hey, that's an interesting thing. I wish this was more puzzles, less of the chit chat, but I'm still loving the game. I'm having a great time.

[Ashley Rae]

It does sound gay.

[John Lovett]

It is pretty gay. It is pretty gay. They're all kind of robots.

[Brendan Scannel]

My boyfriend and I, we played a co working game together where we had to farm. I can't remember what it's called, but we had a farm. Does anyone know? You guys seem nerdy and you had a farm. And we each had to take care of parts of the farm, but then my boyfriend would just go off and fish and I got stuck taking care of the farm. So he'd go fish and I'd be like, I'm taking care of the whole fucking farm. And so we had to stop playing the game.

[Ashley Rae]

Yeah, that's like Animal Crossing.

[Brendan Scannel]

No, no. Stardew Valley. It was Called Stardew Valley. And I ended up doing all the chores.

[John Lovett]

And is everything good in real life?

[Asuka Okotsuka]

Yeah.

[John Lovett]

With the couple?

[Asuka Okotsuka]

Yeah.

[Brendan Scannel]

Oh yeah, we're great. That's just our dynamic.

[John Lovett]

And Ashley, there's something I love about you. It's that you're going to post through it.

[Ashley Rae]

Yeah, I'm going to.

[John Lovett]

You're doing a lot of posting these days about being polyamorous.

[Ashley Rae]

Oh, yeah.

[John Lovett]

And bisexual.

[Asuka Okotsuka]

Oh, yeah.

[John Lovett]

Uh huh.

[Ashley Rae]

I have to warn people.

[John Lovett]

And now if you put those things together. Horny.

[Ashley Rae]

Yeah. Basically, as my mom said, when I came out and told her I'm bipoly, she said, oh, so you're a slut.

[John Lovett]

And that was wrong for her to say.

[Ashley Rae]

It was right for her to say. It was like. It kind of felt like the end of the Barbie movie where I was like, she gets me. She finally sees me.

[Asuka Okotsuka]

Wow.

[John Lovett]

How's that going?

[Ashley Rae]

I mean, pretty good, I guess. It's a weird time to be poly. We're kind of getting mainstream in some good and bad ways. You know, we have a new TV show called this is Poly, which is interesting and very weird to watch. Like, there's all these new covers that are like, polyamory, it's going to save your boring marriage.

[Asuka Okotsuka]

So.

[Ashley Rae]

It's not. It's not. Also, let me just tell you, like, don't do it.

[Brendan Scannel]

Yeah.

[John Lovett]

So don't do it.

[Ashley Rae]

Don't do it.

[Brendan Scannel]

Polyamory. Don't do it.

[Asuka Okotsuka]

Don't.

[John Lovett]

It just. Here's the thing that it's. It just seems so stressful because there's only so many hours in a day. And I feel like it's nice to have a balance between, say, a personal life and say, a career. And I think both are very valuable things to do and people can do with their time what they will. I do not have the space in my brain for career plus relationship one plus relationship number two. I get people that cheat and I get people that have open relationships. You know, you have a relationship and then you want to fuck somebody else because you're horny. I get the that mentally, I understand that that works. You can follow from point A to point B. But it's like, I get the sex plus the relationship. I wish I could do this twice as much.

[Ashley Rae]

Yeah, yeah. No, it really is opting into having multiple conversations that are like, yeah, I don't know if we should go over, like, with Verizon fios or Spectrum.

[Asuka Okotsuka]

Yeah.

[Ashley Rae]

Which one works in your neighborhood? It's just so much relationship talk that's boring. But you know that's what we love about it.

[John Lovett]

Is it?

[Ashley Rae]

Yeah.

[Brendan Scannel]

I want to be polyamorous so that I can have more help on the farm. I feel like if my partner and I had more hands on deck, then he could go fish and it wouldn't be such a big deal for me.

[Asuka Okotsuka]

Yeah.

[John Lovett]

I mean, that is the logic of sister wives. Hey, buckle up, Brendan. You've invented sister wives.

[Ashley Rae]

Can I say it was a little difficult? We had the fires here in la, you know, polyamory. Out here, usually, we're all very. There's no hierarchy. We're all equal in this polycule. No one is more important. And when the fires are coming, it turns out there's a hierarchy. It turns out some people are higher on the pickup list than other people.

[Asuka Okotsuka]

Yeah.

[John Lovett]

And I'm glad you're bringing this up. It has. It does seem like a fair weather ideology to me, because it's like, no, I have a boyfriend in this part of town, but then I have a boyfriend over here, and this boyfriend's more for this, and that boyfriend's more for that. It's like, okay, but who's gonna hold your hand when you're dying?

[Asuka Okotsuka]

Yeah.

[John Lovett]

Because you're not gonna get two. And if you play your cards wrong, you're gonna have zero. You know what I'm saying? It's like, you want two people to hold your hand when you die. That's too many.

[Narrator/Announcer]

Yeah.

[Ashley Rae]

And so I was watching the smoke rise alone in Silver Lake.

[Brendan Scannel]

Oh, wow. You gotta. You were left behind.

[Ashley Rae]

I was left behind.

[Asuka Okotsuka]

Wow.

[Brendan Scannel]

Wow.

[John Lovett]

No chair for Ashley when the music stops.

[Ashley Rae]

And that is polyamory.

[John Lovett]

I do consider the polyamorous to be allies, which is why we're going to play a game about allies in a segment we call Friends of Friends of Dorothy. Here's how it works. I'm going to give you two vocal LGBTQ allies, and you'll tell us who you think is the better ally.

[Asuka Okotsuka]

Okay?

[Brendan Scannel]

Got it.

[Ashley Rae]

Yeah.

[John Lovett]

They will then square off against the next ally until there is one ally to rule them all.

[Brendan Scannel]

Okay.

[John Lovett]

All right. First up, Guy Fieri, a vocal straight ally. The mayor of Flavortown once officiated 101 gay weddings in 2015. An homage to his late lesbian sister.

[Brendan Scannel]

Oh. See?

[John Lovett]

Huh? Maybe there's some. There's some. There's some beautiful sentiment there.

[Ashley Rae]

I didn't know Vladimir.

[Brendan Scannel]

Like Queen Latifah at the.

[John Lovett]

Or like the Moonies. Remember when the Moonies would do those big weddings in the stadiums? Was that before anyone? Before I'm so old now. You remember The Moonies weddings.

[Brendan Scannel]

Yeah. I was born in 2007, so. Wow.

[John Lovett]

You're so young. You're so young. You should have seen. It's too bad you don't remember what it was like when Obama won. It was cool.

[Asuka Okotsuka]

Yeah.

[Ashley Rae]

We really thought things were gonna change.

[John Lovett]

All right. We really did. Versus Hilary Duff starred in this famous 2008 anti homophobia PSA. You know, you really shouldn't say that.

[Ashley Rae]

Say what?

[John Lovett]

Well, say that something's gay when you mean it's bad, it's insulting.

[Brendan Scannel]

I was a little gay, if I'm being honest.

[John Lovett]

Yeah, yeah, it was. Yeah, it was kind of gay.

[Ashley Rae]

The, like, wonderful line right after she's like, what if I said it was girl wearing a skirt? As a top girl wearing a skirt. I have to go with Hillary here. That is an iconic commercial.

[John Lovett]

Beautiful commercial.

[Ashley Rae]

It's part of our history, frankly.

[Brendan Scannel]

I gotta go with Guy Fieri and. Because I know another fact about Guy is that when the COVID shutdown happened, he gave so much money to restaurant workers who are out of work, and every restaurant worker is a gay person.

[John Lovett]

And so I'm going to cut. I'm going to break the tie for Guy Fieri, because during the pandemic, I ordered his nachos that come in a big barrel, and I made them delivery.

[Asuka Okotsuka]

What?

[John Lovett]

You could get it frozen and construct them, and you put them in kind

[Ashley Rae]

of like, brought in from the Burbank airport.

[John Lovett]

Yes, it was from the Burbank airport. They were shipped from the Burbank. That's why it's so easy to get. And basically, you build them inside of this can, and then there's a moment of reveal where you lift the can up and the nachos kind of tower and collapse. And it was kind of a beautiful bit of ceremony in the midst of a dark time.

[Brendan Scannel]

Guy Fieri wins fair flavortown.

[Ashley Rae]

Yeah.

[John Lovett]

Next up, it's now it's Guy Fieri versus Johnny Knoxville. Oh, he rode in a Jackass float in the WeHo Pride parade this month.

[Brendan Scannel]

I love that he's gone gray. Yeah.

[Ashley Rae]

And he's so hot.

[Brendan Scannel]

Remember in the last Jackass movie, the first half of it, he has his hair dyed. And then there was a Covid shutdown. Really on the mind right now. And then they finished the movie and he had gray hair.

[Ashley Rae]

Yeah.

[Brendan Scannel]

And then I gasped, and I saw it in theaters.

[Ashley Rae]

Of course. Of course.

[John Lovett]

Where it was meant to be seen. It was meant to be seen.

[Ashley Rae]

He's at his hottest now. He's embracing just the gay fan base. He's always had. I think we've all always enjoyed that. Jackass is a big gay, and he's embraced that. John Waters recently came out and said that Johnny Knoxville is his favorite straight man. And if you get that from John Waters, wow.

[John Lovett]

Wow. One sort of caution. Jackass was previously banned from WeHo for a decade because Knoxville dressed up as an escaped convict running amok in the restaurant Laurel Hardware, only to be actually arrested by the cops. I feel like that's cool.

[Ashley Rae]

That's cool. Why are you getting banned for that plural Hardware?

[Brendan Scannel]

You're not allowed to wear shorts. That's anti gay.

[John Lovett]

Yeah. So Johnny Knoxville.

[Ashley Rae]

Johnny Knoxville.

[John Lovett]

Johnny Knoxville. Johnny Knoxville. Johnny. Now it's Johnny Knoxville versus Daniel Radcliffe. He's publicly spoken out on behalf of trans people in an ongoing way, famously publishing a 2020 open letter that declared trans women as women when J.K. rowling was repeated was ramping up her public transphobia. In 2022, Radcliffe said, the reason I felt very, very much as though I needed to say something when I did is because, particularly since finishing Potter, I've met so many queer and trans kids and young people who had a huge amount of identification with Potter on that. And so seeing them hurt on that day, I was like. I wanted them to know that not everybody in the franchise felt the same way. That's nice.

[Ashley Rae]

I thought that he was a gay man. So he's just short and he does theater. He's just.

[John Lovett]

He's just short and does theater. He's just short and does theater.

[Ashley Rae]

So, I mean, he's such an ally. I thought he was gay. That's saying a lot.

[John Lovett]

That's pretty cool, actually.

[Ashley Rae]

Yeah.

[John Lovett]

Wow.

[Brendan Scannel]

There was too much Harry Potter mentioned in that description. Completely disassociated. So I gotta go with Johnny Knoxville.

[John Lovett]

Johnny Knoxville takes it. We love Daniel Radcliffe. Huge fan of Daniel Radcliffe, but it's not his. Today it goes to Johnny Knoxville. And then we have Johnny Knoxville versus Dwyane Wade. Dwayne Wade is an outspoken supporter of his daughter, Ziya Wade, along with his wife and Zaya's stepmom, Gabrielle Union. In 2024, Dwayne and Zaya launched the Translatable Project, an online nonprofit for trans teens and their families.

[Ashley Rae]

Well, yeah, I gotta go with Dwayne here. His support of his daughter has been amazing, and his wife follows me on Twitter and threads. So they just really got it together over there in that household.

[John Lovett]

I went to a very fancy Vanity Fair party once as a plus one, and he was there, and I basically, like, teared up saying how much I like I. Because he did something like, it's one thing to be like, there's not a lot of, a lot of people, especially in Hollywood, that advocate for gay people. I'm really glad they do. It's important. There's often a lot more claims tilting at bravery. That's not really a lot of risk. But like he genuinely put himself out there and I think that that's really important and special. And so I feel like it's Dwayne Wad and then it's Dwayne Wade versus Elizabeth Taylor. One of the first celebrity AIDS activists, Elizabeth Taylor was spurred to action by the death of her friend and former co star Rock Hudson. She co founded amfar, the American foundation for AIDS Research. The Elizabeth Taylor AIDS foundation, famously, while accepting the 2000 GLAAD Vanguard Award, said, there is no gay agenda. It's a human agenda. Wow, that's a really. That's a tough competition. That's really interesting.

[Brendan Scannel]

I gotta go with Liz and I'll tell you why. I once had a hairdresser on a TV show who said, you know, Liz Taylor? And I go, yeah. And he goes, I have all of her wigs. And I say, how? And he said Warner Brothers was gonna get rid of them. And me and my friends went in the night and took all the wigs, which is like an Ocean's Eleven type movie that I'm looking for.

[Ashley Rae]

And I would watch. Absolutely.

[Brendan Scannel]

So because of that and because of the wigs that that man has in Burbank, it's gotta be Liz for me.

[Ashley Rae]

I gotta go.

[Asuka Okotsuka]

Liz too.

[Ashley Rae]

I mean like, that's just a gay icon. Like, I'm pretty sure one of the like stripes on the flag is dedicated to her.

[Brendan Scannel]

Probably the bear claw.

[John Lovett]

Elizabeth Taylor has won the Ally Award as number one ally in our game today. We'll be right back. Hey, don't go anywhere. There's more of Love it or Leave it coming up. Love it or Leave it is Brought to you by Mint Mobile. When people hear that Mint Mobile plans are only $15 per month, they may wonder what's the catch. Well, there isn't one. No gimmicks and no gachas either. Just unlimited talk, text and data on the nation's largest, most reliable 5G network, backed by our award winning care team. Switching to Mint Mobile. You know, you get a lower monthly bill, you get the same service and quality and high speed data, but you keep your phone number and you get your phone. So Mint Mobile took what's wrong with wireless and made it Right with Premium Wireless for $15 per month. You can even bring your current phone and number. You can choose from 3, 6 or 12 month plans and say goodbye to a monthly build. Ditch overpriced wireless with Mint Mobile. It's so easy. Sign up online and get three months of premium wireless service for 15 bucks a month. To get your new wireless plan for just 15 bucks a month, go to mintmobile.com love it. That's mintmobile.com love it. Cut your wireless bill to $15 a month at mintmobile.com loveit that's it. There is no catch. $45 upfront payment required equivalent to $15 per month new customers on first three month plan only speeds slower above 40 gigabytes on unlimited plan. Additional taxes, fees and restrictions apply. Seat Mint Mobile for details. Love it or leave it is brought to you by Quo. If your team's communication is messy that shows up in products and services. Missed messages, drop threads, slow replies. It's one of the easiest ways to lose momentum in business. That's where Quo spelled quo comes in. It's the business communication system built so you never miss a call. Your entire team can handle calls and texts from one shared number. So no more missed messages or drop conversations. Everyone sees the full thread and can reply faster so customers actually feel taken care of. Quo is the number one rated business phone system on G2 with over 3,000 reviews built for how modern teams work. More than 90,000 businesses, from solo operators to growing teams, rely on it to stay connected, professional and consistently reachable. Quote Works where you are right from your phone or computer. Keep your existing number, add teammates in minutes. Sync your CRM and let call routing handle itself as you scale. It's easy. Calls, text, voicemails, transcripts and content details are all in one clean view. So your team always has the full picture. Can show up for every customer conversation, ensuring seamless and more personalized experience. Don't let essential business communication slip through your fingers. Always say hello with Quo. Try quo for free plus get 20% off your first six months when you go to quo.com love it. That's Q-U-O.com lovet. And we're back. Please welcome to the stage. You know your lover. It's Ozko Okotzuka to join us. Come on out.

[Asuka Okotsuka]

Hi beauties. Hi.

[Ashley Rae]

Sorry I'm late.

[John Lovett]

You're right. You're right. Good to see you. Welcome.

[Asuka Okotsuka]

Hi. Hi. How's it going? Would you believe it? Would you believe it?

[John Lovett]

My jacket. I.

[Asuka Okotsuka]

Yes, I come bearing.

[John Lovett]

I left that at Go's house a year ago. Wait, what was. It was a holiday. It was a holiday party. It was a. It was a New Year party, right?

[Asuka Okotsuka]

Yeah, I think it was a New Year party. It's a gorgeous jacket.

[Ashley Rae]

Really nice.

[Brendan Scannel]

I wasn't invited to that one.

[Ashley Rae]

Yeah.

[Narrator/Announcer]

Wow.

[John Lovett]

That's going. That's going around for you.

[Asuka Okotsuka]

We'll bring you. We'll invite you to the next one. You can leave something, too. Thanks for letting me come late. I'm so sorry. I went to the wrong store. Studio. Same name. It's the. It's the Pride. It's the Pride show.

[John Lovett]

It's Pride show.

[Asuka Okotsuka]

I really shouldn't be.

[John Lovett]

You barely are.

[Asuka Okotsuka]

Yeah.

[Brendan Scannel]

You missed about half of it.

[Asuka Okotsuka]

I'm late now. I'm taking up time.

[John Lovett]

This is what. This is the role of straight women in Pride, which is to constantly be apologizing and at the same time making it about themselves. And I think that that's.

[Asuka Okotsuka]

She's so whimsical.

[Brendan Scannel]

What time does it start?

[Ashley Rae]

Yeah.

[John Lovett]

Wait now. Brendan, your solo show, the Abyss, for which the hat is named.

[Brendan Scannel]

Yes.

[John Lovett]

Is currently running at the Hollywood Fringe and soon to be the Edinburgh Fringe Festival in August at the Gilded Balloon,

[Brendan Scannel]

if you can believe. Wow.

[Ashley Rae]

Amazing.

[John Lovett]

Wow. What's the show about?

[Brendan Scannel]

The show is. It's a standup show that takes place in a submersible that's sinking to the bottom of the ocean. But really, it's about my family and about my. All the mental illness in my very Irish Catholic family.

[John Lovett]

Hey. Hey. Does the thing go?

[Brendan Scannel]

You'll just have to come see it, John. You'll have to see it.

[John Lovett]

You don't like that thing that happened?

[Ashley Rae]

Obsessed with Oceangate, so I'm.

[John Lovett]

All the noise I made was bad. You didn't like that?

[Asuka Okotsuka]

You said you're gonna get rid of that.

[John Lovett]

It's wrong.

[Asuka Okotsuka]

He's gonna get rid of. Did you say to edit that out?

[John Lovett]

No.

[Asuka Okotsuka]

Oh. Oh, I couldn't hear it. Sorry.

[John Lovett]

I don't want to edit it out. We might.

[Asuka Okotsuka]

Was that. What did that mean, Implode?

[John Lovett]

No, in the implosion. When the thing imploded.

[Brendan Scannel]

Oh.

[Asuka Okotsuka]

Oh, yeah.

[John Lovett]

It's actually too fast. You're really. Actually not hearing the implosion. You're hearing the echo of it. Because it's great.

[Ashley Rae]

It happens so quickly.

[Asuka Okotsuka]

Oh, my God.

[Brendan Scannel]

That was a tough couple days.

[Asuka Okotsuka]

Excuse me.

[Ashley Rae]

It really was.

[Asuka Okotsuka]

This is his time.

[John Lovett]

That's right.

[Brendan Scannel]

This is his show and I'm reclaiming it. And Otsuko is producing it. Yes.

[John Lovett]

Hey, you know what sound? I think people make when they get sucked out of an airplane window.

[Ashley Rae]

No,

[John Lovett]

that's what I've always thought the sound would be like. You know,

[Brendan Scannel]

Quirker's also like.

[Asuka Okotsuka]

Yeah, I like that more. I like the. I like the Looney Tune version more. Oh, you know, like that. I don't like that. Real shit. Sorry, I don't take that.

[John Lovett]

Hey, Odsu, you did Edinburgh four years ago, and it says here on my card that you had several mental breakdowns.

[Asuka Okotsuka]

I did, yes. Yeah.

[John Lovett]

Any advice for Brendan?

[Brendan Scannel]

Wait, you did?

[Asuka Okotsuka]

I had two mental breakdowns.

[Ashley Rae]

What?

[Asuka Okotsuka]

I did, yes. But it's good. We can talk about it so you can be forewarned about like the stresses of the, you know, the, the months while you're there and all that. I'm sure you already know.

[Brendan Scannel]

I have to sleep in a dorm.

[John Lovett]

Oh, God, a dorm.

[Asuka Okotsuka]

Oh.

[Brendan Scannel]

And not in a hot way like with other adults. Yes. Splitting a dorm.

[Asuka Okotsuka]

Yes. It's for the love of the art. You know, you. You perform your show every day, right, for like 30 days straight. It's kind of pricey to be there. That's why a lot of people end up rooming together. Right. And. But then. And then you get reviewed too by, you know, like six British men who, you know, who say sometimes mean things like, you know, as a 30 something year old woman, Natsuko Okotuka claims she can't do laundry. Well, I'll see about that. Like, stuff like that. Stuff like that.

[Brendan Scannel]

I sort of believe you can't do laundry.

[Asuka Okotsuka]

Yeah. No, and I couldn't. Who are they to tell me, like, who I am or what I can't do or what I can do?

[John Lovett]

Who are you to tell me what I can do?

[Asuka Okotsuka]

Yeah.

[John Lovett]

How dare you? I can't do that. And shame on you for telling a woman like me what I can do.

[Asuka Okotsuka]

I'm always arguing for my limitations and these men. So anyway, no, I'm glad you're going. You do come out like a stronger artist, though. You really do, you know. And I'm excited to see your show.

[John Lovett]

Now, Ashley, you're on Funny AF with Kevin Hart.

[Ashley Rae]

Yes.

[John Lovett]

Which is a competition show, but not in the same way that Last Comic Standing was. It's less competitiony.

[Ashley Rae]

Yes.

[John Lovett]

How do you feel? How's it been? What is that like?

[Ashley Rae]

It was really fun. They told us they didn't want us to hate each other and be mean to each other, really, about uplifting the art of standup comedy and the skill behind it. So everyone was just supportive. It was all really friends. And I Think that did sort of make for uninteresting, like competition. Like they would have us try to shoot these talking head segments where they'd be like, talk shit about the other people, like, who's gonna be a rival? And I was just like, everyone here's my friend. And you did a really good job picking people. Like, wow. So wow.

[John Lovett]

Jeff Probst comes in and just throws a knife down and he's like, do something with that.

[Ashley Rae]

Do something. Yeah. Is it really just did feel like comedian summer camp where we were all friends. Kevin was very nice and short and. Yeah. And I will say he does not like when you mention the short stuff. He might act like he's cool with it. Don't think he's really cool with it.

[John Lovett]

Did you. And that's an interesting choice for you. So how quickly into meeting Kevin Hart did you start?

[Ashley Rae]

Almost immediately.

[John Lovett]

Uh huh.

[Ashley Rae]

That little guy. Like as soon as they. Because they wanted us to have fun, fresh reactions to him and Tom Segura being our judges and coming out. So they like had them, they held them in the back and like had them come out and they were just like, just react. And everyone's like, oh my gosh. And I was like, oh, wow, he really is as short as they say. Got an amazing laugh, right? Killed. And then Kevin was like, ha ha. Yeah, yeah, that was funny. But let's do a take without that. And that is the take that is in the episode.

[Brendan Scannel]

I get that there's so much. I have been on this show a couple times. I'm always making fun of you and it never ends up in it.

[John Lovett]

I mean, we try to keep in as little as you as we can. No, I like to be insulted on this show. It is my kink. I've never really had a problem being short, actually. I think part of my personality. You would expect me to be someone self conscious about that, but actually it's about every other thing, you know, so that's it. Short's fine.

[Brendan Scannel]

I like to kind of use it to like get people to help me, you know, like I'll just like enter a store and be like, where is everything? And they think I'm a little kid.

[John Lovett]

Brett, you were saying you pretended to be a fifth grader for some sort of con artist thing for like several years.

[Brendan Scannel]

You gotta cut this. Definitely no, nothing related to children on this show.

[John Lovett]

Now, Otsuko, speaking of Emmy worthy, speaking of size, speaking of size, in your Hulu special father, you talk about being close to your husband and how being best friends as a married Couple is very childlike. What do you mean?

[Asuka Okotsuka]

Oh, yeah. I'm always like, well, you know, I think it's harder to be single. I think it's. You have to do, you know, as a single person, you have to, you know, do paperwork on your own and be on time and do the laundry. And, you know, it's one of the things I realized that was that I. I hadn't been doing laundry because my husband had been doing it this whole time. So stuff like that, that you get to be very childlike about. You know, like, married people say things like, you know, that's my best friend. You know, it's very childlike, actually. You know.

[John Lovett]

Yeah.

[Asuka Okotsuka]

Right. And so. Yeah, that's. That's what I meant by that. And I was thinking about. Actually, I had watched Funny af. It was great. You were great in it. Thank you. And with the short stuff, it's interesting because in the. The roast. The Kevin Hart roast, there's a lot of short jokes in it.

[John Lovett]

Yeah.

[Asuka Okotsuka]

But maybe it turns out those weren't the most problematic ones. And so, like, he. You know what I mean?

[Ashley Rae]

Yeah. You got to embrace the short jokes when it's like, lynching jokes are. Are a fair game.

[Asuka Okotsuka]

No, totally.

[Ashley Rae]

I think that's beautiful. Like, when married people are like, oh, you're my best friend. Because poly people, we have to be like, this is my third nesting partner once removed. Metamorph.

[Asuka Okotsuka]

I know. It's so much.

[Brendan Scannel]

Sounds buggy.

[John Lovett]

It sounds. It's just. There's a lot of language. There's a lot of words. There's a lot of terms of art. That just seems a little bit too much brain space. I just. I feel like I don't have the. I don't know how you'd like.

[Ashley Rae]

Like, this is my hinge partner in my kitchen table. Polyamory.

[Asuka Okotsuka]

Oh, no.

[John Lovett]

I truly am learning new words with every passing moment about this. And, like, I just. It just seems like. Like, you know, when. Like, they wanted the earth to be at the center of the universe, and so they were trying to make the model work, so they were adding a little epicles around the other circles. They're like, no, no, it's fine. The earth is still at the center, but it's a circle on a circle. I feel like a lot of what I hear about polyamory, it's like, no, now, technically, your partner. Subcategory, parentheses, hated.

[Brendan Scannel]

I think it's good to have another person around. I was. I lived with a straight couple who then got engaged, and so then another Straight couple poached me, and I started living with them, and then they got engaged. These straight couples are both now married and have children. Because I was around.

[Asuka Okotsuka]

Yeah.

[Narrator/Announcer]

Wow.

[John Lovett]

You're like a free agent, right? That's so. That's so cool.

[Ashley Rae]

You need a free agent there to weigh in on things.

[Asuka Okotsuka]

Maybe poly people are the most adult, actually, because these vocab words are sending me. It's. I don't even. You know, like, I don't. I don't remember most of the words you just said.

[Ashley Rae]

Yeah. Fair.

[Asuka Okotsuka]

Just now. And so, yeah, like, you have to be on time. Super be on time. Remember each other's interests, things like that. Right. That's really the brain capacity needed. Right?

[John Lovett]

Plus, like, the stakes become higher because it's like, I got your favorite, chicken parmesan. And then they're like, that's not my favorite.

[Asuka Okotsuka]

Right.

[John Lovett]

Whose favorite is it, you piece of shit.

[Asuka Okotsuka]

For sure.

[John Lovett]

Oh, my God, I've blown it yet again. It's like every day is fucking Mrs. Doubtfire with you people.

[Asuka Okotsuka]

Oh, my God. Because there's always a hierarchy, too, right? Like, because most places are just plus one.

[Ashley Rae]

Yeah.

[Asuka Okotsuka]

Right? You can only bring a plus one to the wedding. You know what I mean?

[Ashley Rae]

You got to think about those things and usually have a long discussion.

[Narrator/Announcer]

Usually.

[Ashley Rae]

You know, every Sunday, you'll be like, we have our Polycule meetup where we talk about our feelings. And that's so much.

[John Lovett]

I know. Really?

[Narrator/Announcer]

When.

[Asuka Okotsuka]

When do you have. I made a.

[Ashley Rae]

Well, see, that's why you want to get eventually to a place where your entire Polycule lives together and works together, and you own a farm together. You know, you may all be baristas, but you're splitting that money and paying it together.

[John Lovett]

Okay, so rent. That seems extra people to pay rent. I'm seeing A plus listeners. I want you to know something. I hear how judgmental I sound, and I'm not going to fix that tonight, I'm going to think about questions in which I tried to see the good of this in a future episode, because it's not happening for me.

[Asuka Okotsuka]

Well, it's like, you build a commune, right? It's like it turns into a village, right? It takes a village to pay rent.

[John Lovett]

And then one person decides, right?

[Asuka Okotsuka]

And so.

[Ashley Rae]

Exactly.

[John Lovett]

Well, there we go.

[Asuka Okotsuka]

In this economy. Yeah, it's. You know, I see a lot of pluses, too.

[John Lovett]

Yeah. For sure. Yeah. Yeah. Plus one, plus two, plus three, plus as many pluses you want. All right, we'll be right back. Hey, don't go anywhere. There's More of Love it or leave it.

[Narrator/Announcer]

Coming up.

[John Lovett]

Love or leave it is brought to you by cookunity. Eating out at restaurants is great, but it's also expensive. The good news is you can actually get that level of culinary satisfaction at home for way less than a night out. CookUnity is the first chef led meal delivery service that makes your meals in small batches inside local kitchens across the US not factories. So every dish arrives with the kind of freshness you get at the restaurant itself. We're talking meals from Michelin starred chefs, James Beard winners and Food Network stars. Go to cookunity.comlowley or use code lowly before checkout for 50% off your first week. I love CookUnity. I use it all the time. I have it all the time. This is what I got this week. I got the night market chicken, which is great. Got a carne asada breakfast burrito, which was great. Chicken and broccoli pasta, soy roasted shrimp chow mein. I got the Mediterranean braised chicken. I like to get ones that have a protein, a carb and a vegetable. You know, get my cover, all my bases. And I get six meals a week, which means just a couple times a week. I know I don't have to cook dinner or I don't have to get takeout or I don't have to eat something bad. I have a healthy, delicious thing waiting for me. So I highly recommend it. Taste what happens when real award winning chefs make fresh, small batch meals just for you. Go to cookunity.com lowly or enter code lowly before checkout to get 50% off your first order. That's 50% off your first order by using code LOLI or going to cookunity.com LOL. I cookunity.com LOLI. And we're back. It's pride. It's June. It's getting hot around. But it's time to spike the Celsius with a round of gay for takes. Here's how it works. This is how it takes Gay edition. Otsko, Brendan, Ashley, I'm going to give you a gay pride hot take. You have to give an impassioned defense of this hot take. Even if you disagree with it. You can't bail midway and you can't half ass it. Speaking of full throats and asses, Brendan, let's start with you.

[Asuka Okotsuka]

Wow. Wow.

[John Lovett]

First up, we should stop asking drag queens to do the splits.

[Brendan Scannel]

Yeah, we should stop asking drag queens to do the splits. When did drag become an athletic sport? Also drag queens, there's no Union. There's no health insurance. These girls are getting paid in drink tickets. The people who want drag queens to do the splits are the MCL and ACL surgeons, because these girls are gonna hurt themselves. Drag queens should be lip syncing to a song by a diva about how time has passed her by. Drag queens should not be doing flipply loops, getting the twisties tearing their groins. There's already a lot happening up there with the tucking, and I'm gonna start betting on Kelshi for which one of them is gonna rip their dang leg off with how athletic drag has become. Drag is an art form. It's not about doing flips and splits.

[John Lovett]

Yeah, drag queens.

[Brendan Scannel]

I stand with you.

[Asuka Okotsuka]

Stand still.

[John Lovett]

Stop moving. That was beautiful. I also just want to say that I think getting the twisties sounds like a Victorian name for a hernia. Next up, Atsuko. Being a straight woman is harder than being a gay man.

[Asuka Okotsuka]

I feel like this isn't my month and really my time. I as a person who cares and has a lot of gay friends, a lot. Some of them are on stage. I'm gonna give it to Brendan to say this, and then I'm gonna just kind of be the energy behind it.

[John Lovett]

He's like an ally thing.

[Asuka Okotsuka]

Yeah.

[Brendan Scannel]

It's way harder to do than a gay guy.

[Asuka Okotsuka]

Oh, thank you. Oh, thank you, thank you. You already went into it. Did you already play the game where whoever is the best ally.

[John Lovett]

Yeah.

[Asuka Okotsuka]

Who won?

[John Lovett]

Elizabeth Taylor.

[Asuka Okotsuka]

Oh, so I don't even know. I don't have a shot.

[John Lovett]

No, you're out. You're out.

[Asuka Okotsuka]

Well, Brendan already went into it, so I'm just gonna kinda be the energy behind why a straight woman. Being a straight woman is harder than being a gay guy. Go.

[Brendan Scannel]

Yeah, it's hard to be a straight woman. You go to the wrong studio sometimes.

[Asuka Okotsuka]

She's whimsical.

[Brendan Scannel]

Your husband isn't around today to drive you everywhere like he typically does.

[Asuka Okotsuka]

So tired.

[Brendan Scannel]

And your gay guys are too much in a comedown to text you where they are and where you're supposed to be. It's hard. It's hard.

[John Lovett]

It's hard. I also feel like being a straight woman means you have to date straight men. And I just think that, like, some of them are great, but that's a challenge. It's just a challenge. Like, some of it's just like, no, you can't wear that. It's a wedding. You're saying a lot of that kind of thing. And no gay guy has to say that to another gay guy.

[Asuka Okotsuka]

I love this.

[John Lovett]

All right, next up, Ashley. Monogamy is the best way to have a functional relationship. I told you I wasn't going to learn or grow today. Yeah, yeah, I said that.

[Ashley Rae]

Yeah. Yes. Monogamy is the best way to have a healthy relationship because secretly cheating is French and sexy and hotter anyway. And that's what a lot of monogamous people do, so that's kind of fun. And weddings are cool. I haven't been to one in a while.

[John Lovett]

Oh, it's so funny because Asuko and I were just at a wedding.

[Asuka Okotsuka]

Yeah, yeah, yeah. It was John's wedding where I was only allowed a plus one, so. Yeah, yeah.

[Ashley Rae]

Not very poly friendly wedding, I guess. So maybe that's why I didn't get the invite. Yeah, that's why I wasn't gonna get a plus two. So fair enough. But you know, monogamous people being their best friends and I feel like they probably don't change their sheets as much as I do, so that's probably handy. And. Oh, you probably, like, don't have a hard time choosing what restaurants to eat at. Like, that's just two people deciding on that. You don't even have to take a vote. And that is probably so good for your relationship.

[John Lovett]

Yeah, you can't vote because it's either 2002-002-tIE.

[Ashley Rae]

Or TIE.

[John Lovett]

So the votes never matter.

[Ashley Rae]

Yeah, but we're over here. We're vetoing. We're. We have an electoral college.

[John Lovett]

Yeah.

[Asuka Okotsuka]

You have a friend.

[John Lovett]

That's so beautiful. That's so beautiful.

[Ashley Rae]

That is bad. And that is why monogamy is better.

[John Lovett]

Shout out monogamy, the OG. All right, one last one. Just because you're gay doesn't mean you can be mean all the time. Yeah, I think just because you're gay doesn't mean you can be mean all the time. Throwing up bitch at the end of it doesn't make you funny. You're just saying a mean comment about a woman's hair. Just because you have a little lilt in your voice doesn't mean it's charming. Sometimes it is, but often it's just like, wait a second, are you being cool and funny or are you just being a huge cunt with a little lisp at the end? You know what I mean? How about looking at you?

[Asuka Okotsuka]

Who's the mean one? Who's being mean? What? Who are the guys that are mean all the time? You're saying all of them.

[John Lovett]

I feel like this applies a little bit to me. I don't know. I don't know who this is directed at. I think sometimes it's directed at fitness instructors. Lots of people.

[Brendan Scannel]

I feel like fitness instructors are so motivational and nice.

[Asuka Okotsuka]

They are.

[Ashley Rae]

Oh, I love a bitch at the

[Asuka Okotsuka]

end by a fitness instructor.

[Brendan Scannel]

Come on, give me more A. Yeah.

[Ashley Rae]

I'm like, I am a. I'll give you everything, Michael.

[Asuka Okotsuka]

Yeah. 100.

[Brendan Scannel]

Michael's the guy who teaches spin at my gym, and I give it all away for him.

[Ashley Rae]

I get mean ladies. Just really mean. Mean ladies who. I feel like I can feel them judging me. Really?

[Asuka Okotsuka]

Yeah.

[Ashley Rae]

Oh, yeah.

[Asuka Okotsuka]

I guess it depends on the class. Is this all cycling?

[Ashley Rae]

Yeah.

[Asuka Okotsuka]

Oh, okay.

[Ashley Rae]

Yeah, I just.

[Asuka Okotsuka]

I take dance fitness, so it's a little different.

[Ashley Rae]

That. That's going to be a joyful game.

[Asuka Okotsuka]

They don't scream as much, I think, as cycle because it's hard when you're, like, you know, doing spins, like, with your feet.

[Ashley Rae]

Yeah.

[John Lovett]

You have to keep them. The rhythm and so on.

[Asuka Okotsuka]

Yeah, yeah.

[Ashley Rae]

It's really easy to be a. On a bike.

[Asuka Okotsuka]

Yes.

[Brendan Scannel]

You're locked in with the shoes, you know?

[Ashley Rae]

Yeah.

[John Lovett]

You're locked in. Your legs only go two ways on the bike. Feel like you want to move around more. That's my problem with the bike. It's like, oh, my God. There's forward and there's back. That's it for an hour. No, thank you.

[Ashley Rae]

Sometimes they throw in the hand weight moves.

[John Lovett]

Yeah, I know. They're trying to do with the hand weights. And it's like, let's stop pretending this isn't a bike. All right? Can we all just face the facts? This is a bike. We'll be right back. And we're back. Boy, we had a lot of fun tonight, but also, we said some things we might regret, and God can judge us for it. But until then, let's take a look at the things my producers wish I shouldn't have said or did in a segment we call Second Thoughts. And Atsuko, Brendan and Ashley, if you have any second thoughts about this evening, I'd love to hear them as well. All right. Things I'm apologizing for from the monologue. I'm sorry about the joke. Fagpole. It's also fine that Cats is about Cats. It's called Cats. And the Arkansas stuff got pretty dark, but I don't regret that. I feel like everybody came along. I feel good about that. I feel that Ashley and Brendan, I'm sorry for not inviting you guys to the wedding.

[Brendan Scannel]

It's okay. I had something that night.

[Ashley Rae]

Yeah. And.

[John Lovett]

Oh, I don't remember saying this, but apparently I called Ashley's lifestyle quote terrible, and that I do. I genuinely don't remember doing that. And I regret it. I regret it. I shouldn't have said that.

[Ashley Rae]

I can't say it's wrong.

[John Lovett]

I feel like. I feel like I said couldn't. One might see it as terrible, but I feel like the word terrible was thrown in about. Thrown about. I don't think I put it. I think I had some ironic distance from it. Ashley, do you have any regrets?

[Ashley Rae]

I regret every insult to the poly community I made because I don't want to lose my sponsorship with the Field app. The best place to meet polyamorous singles or your next poly. But, no, I mean, you know, some of us, we're so great, and I love how diverse representations of polyamory are on TV now. We got queer couples. We got lesbian polycules. Go us.

[John Lovett]

Yeah, I. Yeah, there. I saw that there was a. A polyamorous couple on that show with the therapist.

[Ashley Rae]

Yes.

[John Lovett]

But I haven't gotten to that.

[Ashley Rae]

They were horrible. Oh, every poly couple on that show is horrible. Like, they are always the most selfish, ridiculous people. One of them started a massive fire. Forest fire in Northern California, and, by the way, went on to be polyamorous. Like, come on, man.

[John Lovett]

Okay, well, I feel like those are unrelated.

[Ashley Rae]

No, I get it. I see where they're connected.

[John Lovett]

Brendan, any second. Brendan, any second thoughts before we wrap it up?

[Brendan Scannel]

I feel like I threw my boyfriend under the bus in regards to Stardew Valley, and I want to apologize to him. I love that you have your activities and that you loved to fish, but, yeah, if you could just hang up your towels after you use them, that would be great.

[John Lovett]

Beautiful. Atsuko, any regrets?

[Asuka Okotsuka]

Oh, gosh. I mean, no. I live. Oh, I'm doing the game wrong.

[John Lovett]

You're a great ally. You're a great ally. We all feel that.

[Asuka Okotsuka]

Happy pride.

[John Lovett]

Happy pride, everybody. And that is our show. Thank you to Hosko Cusco, Brendan Skinnell, and SUA. There are 137 days until the midterms. We'll be back on Wednesday with Ali Siddiq, Ibi Wadaway, and Matt Hamilton. Have a great night and have a great weekend. Love it or leave it is a crooked media production. Our show is produced by Kendra James, Bill McGrath, Kelsey Gante, and me, John Lovett. Our production team includes Hallie Kiefer, Sarah Lazarus, David Towles, Claudia Shang, Jay Banks, Gavin Purcell, and Matt De Groot. And our staff is proudly unionized with the Writers Guild of America East.