Who Let the DOGE Out?

Summary

Podcast Summary: Lovett or Leave It – Episode “Who Let the DOGE Out?”

Podcast Information:

• Title: Lovett or Leave It
• Host: Jon Lovett, Crooked Media
• Episode: Who Let the DOGE Out?
• Release Date: February 8, 2025

Overview: In this engaging episode of Lovett or Leave It, host Jon Lovett delves into the chaotic landscape of the second Trump administration, spotlighting Elon Musk's controversial involvement with the Treasury Department. The episode features sharp political analysis, humorous interactions with guests Jason Isaacs, Paula Poundstone, and Andy Richter, and interactive segments that keep listeners both informed and entertained.

I. Introduction and Setting the Stage

The episode kicks off live from the Dynasty Typewriter in Los Angeles, with Jon Lovett humorously mentioning his anticipation for the upcoming Super Bowl and introducing the main topics of discussion.

II. Trump’s Second Administration and Elon Musk’s Role

Lovett provides a critical analysis of President Donald Trump’s second term, highlighting his rapid issuance of executive orders and firings that signal a MAGA takeover of the federal government.

• Key Points:
  • Elon Musk’s Appointment: Musk was granted top-secret security clearance and designated a “retarded government employee,” a term Lovett mocks (“retarded government employee” – Jon Lovett [04:30]).
  • Treasury Department Breach: Musk and his associates accessed the Treasury’s payment systems, overseeing trillions in government transactions.
  • Resignation and Replacement: David Liebrick, the top civil servant at the Treasury, resigned after resisting Trump’s requests, leading to Scott Besant’s controversial appointment. Lovett sarcastically remarks on Besant’s personal life, stating, “Scott Besant is gay. He's married to a guy named John” ([05:05]).

III. Legislative and Union Reactions

Democratic leaders express strong opposition to Musk’s interference, with Senators Elizabeth Warren and Ron Wyden calling for investigations. Federal employee unions sue the Treasury for violating laws by sharing sensitive data with Musk.

• Notable Quotes:
  • Jason Isaacs: “And it's only if we agree with him” ([05:09]).
  • Jon Lovett: “This is Scott Besant, by the way. Great work, gay Jeb Bush” ([05:05]).

IV. Impact on Government Agencies

Lovett discusses the broader implications of Trump’s actions on other government agencies, particularly USAID, which Trump seeks to dismantle and fold into the State Department. Democratic strategists debate whether defending these institutions is a strategic mistake or a necessary stand.

• Key Points:
  • USAID’s Importance: USAID's role in funding global humanitarian efforts and its potential elimination as a threat to American influence abroad.
  • Legislative Measures: Introduction of bills like “Stop the Steel” aiming to prevent unlawful meddling in the Treasury’s operations.
  • Senator Bernie Sanders’ Stance: Sanders calls the current administration's moves a rapid descent into authoritarianism and urges proactive defense of democratic values.

V. Legal Battles and Court Interventions

Lovett details ongoing legal struggles, including lawsuits against Biden’s HUD nominee and federal buyout schemes aimed at reducing the workforce. A federal judge halts the buyout program just before the deadline, creating uncertainty for thousands of federal employees.

• Notable Developments:
  • Law Suits Against Buyouts: Federal employee unions challenge the buyout offers citing lack of transparency and legal misconduct.
  • Court Intervention: A federal judge’s decision to pause buyouts, providing temporary relief to affected employees ([06:50]).

VI. Guest Interview: Jason Isaacs

The episode transitions to a lighter, more personal segment featuring actor Jason Isaacs. Lovett engages Isaacs in a humorous discussion about his roles in Harry Potter and White Lotus, exploring the challenges and comedic moments on set.

• Highlights:
  • Role Reflection: Isaacs shares anecdotes about maintaining villainous personas and the physical demands of filming intimate scenes ([28:00]).
  • Humorous Banter: The conversation is filled with playful jabs and behind-the-scenes stories, making for an entertaining interview.
  • Quote: Isaacs humorously admits, “I just talk bullshit to journalists and then it comes back and haunts you years later” ([28:17]).

VII. Interactive Segments and Games

The episode incorporates interactive games, such as “Was I in this? All Villain Edition,” where Isaacs is quizzed on his various villainous roles. Additionally, the hosts engage in light-hearted segments like “Petty is the head that wears the crown,” where they share minor complaints.

• Notable Moments:
  • “Was I in this?” Game: Listeners are invited to guess which iconic villain roles Isaacs has portrayed, adding an engaging and fun element to the episode ([32:00]).
  • Petty Complaints: Hosts and guests share trivial grievances, with Lovett declaring Jason Isaacs the winner for his complaints about tea brewing methods ([71:00]).

VIII. Humor and Social Commentary

Lovett, along with his guests Paula Poundstone and Andy Richter, interweaves humor into serious political discourse, providing a balanced mix of satire and insightful commentary.

• Examples:
  • Satirical Remarks: Lovett critiques Trump’s policies and executive actions with biting sarcasm, such as referring to Scott Besant's personal life in a mocking tone.
  • Comedic Relief: The playful interactions among Lovett, Poundstone, and Richter offer listeners a respite from heavy political discussions.

IX. Closing Remarks and Final Thoughts

The episode wraps up with Lovett summarizing the key takeaways, emphasizing the importance of defending democratic institutions against authoritarian overreach. The hosts thank their guests and tease upcoming episodes, ensuring listeners stay engaged for future content.

• Final Quote:
  • Jon Lovett: “We have not months, we have not weeks, but we have days to stop the destruction of our democracy” ([15:30]).

X. Notable Quotes with Timestamps

• Jon Lovett: “They are bringing it back. It’s not me, you fucking pussies.” ([04:45])
• Jason Isaacs: “This is Scott Besant, by the way. Great work, gay Jeb Bush.” ([05:05])
• Paula Poundstone: “I want the dog. Shit in the recycling or the yard waste.” ([75:23])
• Andy Richter: “I don't eat eggs anymore. I stopped eating eggs a while ago just because I don't want to bother chickens.” ([62:09])

Conclusion

“Who Let the DOGE Out?” effectively combines rigorous political analysis with engaging humor, offering listeners a comprehensive and entertaining exploration of the tumultuous second Trump administration. Through sharp wit and insightful discussions, Jon Lovett and his guests provide a nuanced perspective on current events, making complex political dynamics accessible and enjoyable.

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Note: This summary omits advertisement segments, intros, outros, and non-content sections, focusing solely on the substantive discussions and interactions within the episode.

Transcript

[John Lovett]

This show is sponsored by BetterHelp. What are some of your relationship green flags? We often hear about red flags we should avoid. But what if we focus more on looking for green flags in friends and partners? If you're not sure what they look like, therapy can help you identify green flags. Actively practice them in your relationships and embody the green flag energy yourself. Whether you're dating, married, building a friendship, or just working on yourself, it's time to form relationships that love you back. Here's a green flag if you're at a party with someone you're dating and they can tell that you want to leave and don't make you say, we gotta get out of here. You know, maybe they want to go too, but they don't wait to be. They don't. You know, you read each other at a room, you kind of feed off each other at a party and you say, you know what? Hey, let's do you want to get out of here? Yes. Thank you for not making me come over and find you and beg to leave this godforsaken event. So there's an example. If you've benefited from therapy, feel free to share your experience. For example, it's helpful to learn positive coping skills and how to set boundaries. It empowers you to be the best version of yourself. Yourself. It isn't just for those who've experienced major trauma. Better Help is fully online, making therapy affordable and convenient. Serving over 5 million people worldwide. Access a diverse network of more than 30, 000 credentialed therapists with a wide range of specialties. Easily switch therapists anytime at no extra cost. Discover your relationship green flags with better help. Visit betterhelp.com love it. To get 10 off your first month, that's better help. H E L p.com love it. Everybody needs therapy. You need therapy. Get some therapy. And you can get therapy with better help. When you listen to Nobody Listens to.

[Paula Poundstone]

Paula Poundstone the comedy podcast, you learn stuff.

[Andy Richter]

I've been learning to throw a boomerang. Cause this is the kind of thing that really gets the listeners engaged.

[John Lovett]

You know, interviews with people who will make you smarter. Does the amount that you learn protect.

[Jason Isaacs]

You from cognitive decline?

[Paula Poundstone]

Paula, don't catch that.

[Andy Richter]

Can't people just listen to the show? Can't they just enjoy a delightful treehouse full of information? And I think I'm bleeding.

[Paula Poundstone]

Join us and be a nobody.

[John Lovett]

What's up, Los Angeles? Welcome to Love it or Leave it live from Dynasty Typewriter. The super bowl is on Sunday, which is the reason I ordered a six foot sub. You can't prove I didn't know it was the Super Bowl. It's a completely normal thing to order because I knew it was the Super Bowl. Tonight on the show, Jason Isaacs is here to give bad guys a good name. Paula Poundstone and Andy Richter return to test their news knowledge. And then we all pour a nice crisp glass of champagne. Problems? But first, let's get into it. What a week. The second Trump administration is 17 days young and it's clear that Donald Trump's overwhelming flurry of executive orders and firings and illegal budget freezes amount to a total MAGA takeover of the federal government. Sorry, I'm hanging by a thread. Instrumental in the effort is our South African billionaire co president Elon Musk, who was granted a top secret security clearance and designated a special government employee, or in the lingo of Musk's online fanboys, retarded government employee. They're bringing it back. It's not me, you fucking pussies. On Monday, Trump confirmed that Musk and his Doge associates had gained access to the Treasury Department's payment system, which processes trillions of dollars of transactions for the entire federal government. I miss the days when Musk only controlled several massive corporations, the fortune of a small country, one of the world's largest communications platform, and the satellites over Ukraine. Simp. I will be so different than Joe Biden. All she had to say. Crazy different. Whoopi, you'll love it. Oh, well. The top. The top civil servant of the Treasury, David Liebrick, resigned on Friday after reportedly pushing back on Trump officials who were asking about the Treasury's ability to stop certain payments. And yet here we all are, shitting Liebricks. Once Lieberg was gone, Trump's newly sworn in, Treasury Secretary Scott Besant, relented. This is Scott Besant, by the way. Great work, gay Jeb Bush. And here's what's fucked up. I mean, a lot of things are fucked up, but one fucked up thing is Scott Besson is gay. He's married to a guy named John. This is his house. How dare this man bring shame upon the gayest house I've ever seen. Magnificent. A reporter asked Trump about the decision on Monday. Why is it important for Elon Musk to have access to the payment systems at Treasury? Well, he's got access only to letting people go that he thinks are no good if we agree with him.

[Jason Isaacs]

And it's only if we agree with him.

[John Lovett]

Hey, man, quick flag. You just described why it's bad. Oh, well, On Tuesday, Senators Elizabeth Warren and Ron Wyden called for the Government Accountability Office to open an investigation into Doge's takeover at Treasury. Oh, I'm sorry. This just in. I'm receiving word that Doge has shut down the Government Accountability Office. Damn, those kids move fast. Their little coder fingers can't keep up. Three federal employee unions have since sued the treasury, accusing Bessant of violating federal law when he shared sensitive data with Musk. Wrote the lawyers, people who must share information with the federal government should not be forced to share information with Elon Musk or his Doge. And federal law says they do not have to. Exactly. The fact that I received a federal loan during the pandemic for my fledgling dildo company, which was called Shove it or Leave it, is not meant to be public information. It's true that money could not overcome that. The most upvoted comment on our subreddit said, this is a shape for no one. But. But like we used to say at Shove it hq, no pain. Nobody can know about this. Democratic leaders said they would introduce legislation to stomp joej. Here's Senator Chuck Schumer.

[Paula Poundstone]

So today, leader Jeffries and I are.

[John Lovett]

Joining together to push legislation to prevent unlawful meddling in the Treasury Department's payment systems and protect Americans across the country. We call our legislation Stop the Steel. Look, this is what it's going to look like, all right? This is what part of the resistance is going to be for a while, proposing new laws that all boil down to, hey, stop that. Which will not pass. But the good news is some of them will have bitchy little names. He's out there. He's trying. Wednesday, in response to that lawsuit, Justice Department attorneys said that they would temporarily restrict Doge staff from accessing the treasury payment systems, which will be in place until a hearing in a couple of weeks. Hey, enjoy the last couple of weeks with sole custody of your Social Security number. Do something fun with it. Fill out some forms. None of this stops at Treasury. Trump has dispatched Musk to at least half a dozen government agencies. He has sought to illegally shut down usaid, the agency charged with delivering humanitarian aid overseas. And ultimately, that's on them for refusing to order even one child sized submarine. In 2023, USAID handled some $40 billion in appropriations, less than 1% of the federal budget, to fund HIV prevention in Uganda, war relief in Ukraine, maternal health assistance in Zambia. In addition to often being the difference between life and death for aid recipients, these programs build goodwill around the world and help protect Americans from Diseases. Just as a basis of comparison, if we extend the Trump tax cuts, that will cost $4.2 trillion over 10 years, most of which will go to the wealthiest people and corporations. But let's be nuanced and careful in a way that our society no longer values, and point out that some of that does go to working people. Let's pretend we live in a world where we still debate policy, okay? According to the Treasury Department, in a report earlier this year from before those bureaucrats were beheaded. Whatever. If you. If you keep. If you kept the cuts for people making under $400,000 a year, which is what Biden Harris supported, but didn't extend, the estate tax cuts and corporate cuts and cuts for the wealthiest families, that would only be $1.8 trillion over eight years, which means that you are still saying that you want to increase the debt by $200 billion a year to make rich people richer, while complaining about a rounding error that saves lives and projects American power and values around the world. And now, having won the argument, we celebrate. Ladies and gentlemen, Amanda Gorman has. Sorry. On Monday, Secretary of State Marco Rubio told reporters that he was now the acting administrator of usaid, attempting to fold the agency into the State Department, even though Congress created it as a distinct entity over 60 years ago. Rubio, who used to believe in USAID before he put on that ring somewhere between Hobbiton and Isengard, said that USAID may be abolished consistent with applicable law. It's like we're on an airplane that's been hijacked and Air Marshal Marco Rubio stands up and said, don't worry, I'm going to make sure that we are only rerouted from Fort Lauderdale to Bratislava in a way that complies with FAA regulations. Okay, thanks. Glad we have an adult in the room. After trying and failing to gain access to USAID headquarters, Democrats held a process outside the building alongside over 100 employees, calling Trump's funding freeze and potential elimination of the agency unconstitutional. There is no question that the billionaire class trying to take over our government right now is doing it based on self interest. We have not months, we have not weeks, but we have days to stop the destruction of our democracy. We have work to do. Project 2025 was kind of a misnomer, really. More like Project January with Senator Chris Murphy. And then there are the buyouts. As of Thursday, of the millions of workers who were offered incentives to Resign last week, 60,000 federal employees had accepted the offer, or about 3% of the workforce. So they are on their way to their goal of heading 5 to 10%. But come on, folks, take the deal and hit the road. Where else is Under Secretary for Management Kyle Rittenhouse supposed to sit? On Tuesday, four employee unions sued the Office of Personnel Management over the buyout, as basic information is lacking from the offer when Congress has appropriated no funds for this purpose, and the statutory basis and appropriations for this promise remain unclear. Then on Thursday, a federal judge halted the buyout just 11 hours before the deadline set for federal employees by the Trump administration to decline or accept. On the one hand, this is all terrible. On the other hand. Oh, the soothing feeling of a deadline extension, that little undiagnosed ADHD in here is just like that. Feels good. Now federal employees have a whole other weekend to feel like they are rolling the dice on a job. They need to feed their fucking families. Meanwhile, the CIA on Tuesday became the first intelligence agency to offer buyouts to its entire workforce as Trump tries to shape it to its agenda. Stay strong, Woke spies. You know two things. Trans women are women, and Epstein didn't kill himself. And we need that point of view inside of our government. What happened to this country? I remember when the CIA used to offer people buyouts. They'd say, buy as they pushed you out of a helicopter. The CIA also sent the White House an unclassified email listing all of the employees hired in the last two years. A move that one former CIA official called a counterintelligence disaster. I remember back in the day, you had to sneak in a Langley disguised as a firefighter, make some geek shit his pants, and then quietly dangle into a laser room without sweating too much to get your hands on a list like that. The actual defense offered by the people that did this was that the list only had the employee's first name and last initial, which is literally from the fucking Simpsons. For privacy's sake, let's call her Lisa S. No, that's too obvious. Let's say L. Simpson. The fuck? Senator Bernie Sanders remained clear eyed about our current situation. This country under Trump is moving rapidly toward authoritarianism. But we cannot just play defense. We have got to be on the offense. Please never forget that the agenda that we are fighting for is widely supported, widely supported by working families all across this country. And we must continue to fight for that agenda. Yeah, man, of course. But right now, Elon Musk and a group of guys who didn't go to prom are trying to find the person responsible for the Sacajawea dollars on Wednesday. It was actually great. You should check. Bernie put out this video, and it's a great just sort of, hey, don't despair. Here are some steps we can take. And I found it. It's nothing revelatory, but it's worth watching. On Wednesday, the AFL cio, America's largest federation of labor unions, filed to block Musk from invading the Department of Labor. Unfortunately, the only Labor Department Musk refuses to enter is the one where his kids are being born. Meanwhile, some have questioned whether Democrats were falling into a trap by protesting outside usaid, with some strategists saying that fighting over foreign aid was a misstep because federal bureaucracy and foreign aid in particular are broadly unpopular. Which is certainly true. But it's hard to argue that a better tactic would be to let Trump dismantle USAID than speak up when he's about to dismantle something popular because they are targeting USAID aid to set a precedent that he's allowed to dismantle stuff. Democratic strategists argue that the USAID fight is emblematic of a larger trap that the party has fallen into defending institutions people despise rather than focusing on the issues that will most affect voters. Like, say, Trump trying to eliminate the Department of Education. But what should Democrats be doing in response? In a piece he wrote for the Bulwark on Tuesday, former New Jersey congressman Tom Malinowski outlined five ways Democrats could fight back. Number one, appropriately enough, Listicles House Democrats could fight Trump's illegal funding freeze by announcing that they're not giving Speaker Mike Johnson a single vote to fund the government or raise the debt ceiling until they have a solid guarantee that the Trump administration will spend federal funds as Congress directs. House Minority Leader Hakeem Jeffries seems to be thinking along the same lines, writing in a Monday letter to the caucus that he planned to use the March 14 federal funding deadline to block Trump from freezing appropriated funds. Democrats should also fight Trump in the courts, countering his flood of executive orders and firings with a flood of legal challenges. And given the ways that social media has harmed kids and poisoned our politics, malinowski writes. Any Democrat who can't take advantage of this and run a populist campaign against our bond villain tech overlords should have their politician's license revoked, and some of them should just have that thing revoked because they're too old to have that license. I don't disagree that Democrats defending unpopular institutions is a trap. But I think it's worth asking why it's a trap in the first place. Because we ought to hope and believe possible a world where politics is no longer stupid and sensational that protesting the violation of the basic separation of powers in favor of aid that not only save lives but antagonizes our adversaries and extends American influence isn't a trap. Or more likely, that we have Democrats who know it's a trap and see it's a trap, but also manage to spring that trap without getting their legs stuck in it. In the short term, yes, we have to have these legal fights, which we need to have everywhere. We have public fights. We need to fight in a way that draws attention to the absolute worst and least popular acts of this administration. But we also ought to be thinking, how do we build credibility as an opposition to reach enough people and to know we have the trust of enough people so that when we convey the threat, people believe us. And to me, that starts with showing up. More is more. That's why it was great to see Senate Democrats holding the floor this week to try to draw attention to the OMB nominee and Project 2025 architect Russell Vogt. And it won't just be about these leaders showing up. It will be about all of us showing up. We all have to show up just as soon as I get back from shooting traitors. Gonna put it into the universe. Just gonna put it into the universe a little bit. It's survivor with food. Speaking of falling into traps, we also had this lovely exchange in the House oversight hearing where ranking member Gerry Connolly objected to Nancy Mace's endless demonizing of trans people. The Gentlelady has used a phrase that is considered a slur in the LGBTQ community and the transgender community just from the beginning. Gentlelady is very generous. I move we opt for treacherous wench or hell crow or bog clown. Mays responded with this tranny, tranny, tranny. I don't really care. You want penises in women's bathrooms, and I'm not going to have it.

[Jason Isaacs]

Okay?

[John Lovett]

No, thank you. This is neither here nor there. But you know when you're out and you go to use the bathroom and you realize it's a situation where there are two one person bathrooms with locking doors, and yet they're still labeled men's and women's. And there's a line at the quote, unquote, men's room, but the women's room is open. Yeah, I'm bringing a penis into that women's bathroom. I'm not sorry about it. Connolly went on to say this to me, a slur is a slur. And here in the committee, a level of decorum requires us to try consciously to avoid slurs. You just heard the gentlelady actually actively, robustly repeat it. And I would just ask the chairman that she be counseled that we ought not to be engaged. We can have debate and policy discussion without offending human beings who are our fellow citizens. It's a nice idea, isn't it? Here's a problem. Nancy Mace knows it's a Slurpee. That's why she said it. She was hoping Connally would respond exactly how he responded. Connally's heart is in the right place here. But he should have figured out what was happening when, before saying the slur, Nancy Macy set up a fucking ring light. We cannot be hall monitors blowing a whistle while the school burns to the fucking ground declaring offense, declaring words as beyond acceptable. Even if you are right. Even if you are right that if these people had any shame or compassion, of course they would not do this. It's just not gonna cut it. You brought a rule book to a knife fight. Here's an idea, and this one's free. Next time Mace unleashes a torrent of slurs and screams about penises in women's bathrooms, you can just introduce a motion to make Mace the official penis sheriff. If she wants a show, then sure, give it to her. But make sure the show is the Dark Knight.

[Jason Isaacs]

I know you're gonna enjoy this.

[Paula Poundstone]

I'm gonna have to try and enjoy it even more.

[John Lovett]

Spoiler alert. He does exactly what the Joker wants and gets his whole police department exploded. Also, Slumdog million wins. Best picture instead of this. And let's not forget Gerry Connolly is in this job because he defeated AOC in the race for ranking member of the Oversight Committee. Here's AOC responding to Nancy Mace a few weeks ago. What Nancy Mace and what Speaker Johnson are doing are endangering all women and girls. Because if you ask them what is your plan on how to enforce this, they won't come up with an answer. And what it inevitably results in are.

[Andy Richter]

Women and girls who are primed for.

[John Lovett]

Assault because they want. Because people are going to want to check their private parts in suspecting who is trans and who is CIS and who's doing what. And so the idea that Nancy Mace wants little girls and women to drop.

[Andy Richter]

Trou in front of who?

[John Lovett]

An investigator. Who would that be in order? Because she wants to suspect and point fingers at who she thinks is trans is disgusting. House Democrats decided to give Connally the microphone even though AOC knows how to use it. And now he's sitting in that chair instead of one of the best communicators in Democratic politics. All I'm saying is the days of begging Republicans for decorum are over. It's weak shit. But, hey, Jerry, if you don't grow a pair, at least you can use whatever bathroom you want. What are we fucking doing here? Point of decorum, you call it. You're gonna go to the teacher. You think that's gonna work in 2025? You go to the fucking teacher to complain that somebody used a bad word. Not gonna work. Not gonna work. Wish it was. Wish we lived in the world where that was something that could work, but it doesn't. And in fact, James Comer, who is the chair of that committee, turned it into a fucking joke. He's like, I'm not really up on the latest slang. I don't know what's a slur or not with these LGBT people. So you got fucking slapped in the face, and now you look like a little bitch. Speaking of going down the toilet, on Tuesday, Trump held a press conference alongside Israeli Prime Minister Benjamin Netanyahu and said that the United States will take control of the Gaza Strip. The US Will take over the Gaza Strip, and we will do a job with it, too. We'll own it. Have you been to Vegas? The US doesn't even have control of the Strip in our own country. Trump called for Palestinians to leave Gaza, calling it a demolition site and saying that they should get a good, fresh, beautiful piece of land. Trump made clear that he wasn't talking about simply rebuilding Gaza in order for Palestinians to return, but something else entirely.

[Andy Richter]

One, where exactly are you suggesting that they should go?

[John Lovett]

And two, are you saying they should return after it's rebuilt? And if not, who do you envision living there? I envision world people living there. The world's people. I think you'll make that into an international unbelievable place. I think the potential in the Gaza Strip is unbelievable.

[Andy Richter]

And I don't want to be cute.

[John Lovett]

I don't want to be a wise.

[Jason Isaacs]

Guy, but the Riviera of the Middle.

[John Lovett]

East, God, I hate it when he's cute. Trump's plan sparked outrage around the world, even among some Republicans here at home. Democrats slammed the idea as horrifying and insane, with Maryland Senator Chris Van Hollen, who sits on the Foreign Relations Committee, calling it ethnic cleansing. Chris Murphy warned that the whole debacle was a distraction, saying, I have news for you. We aren't taking over Gaza, but the media and the chattering class will focus on it for a few days, and Trump will have succeeded in distracting everyone from the real story, the billionaires seizing control to steal from regular people. Well, we're not taking over Gaza, not with that attitude. Speaking of downward slides toward oblivion, On Wednesday, Mitch McConnell fel down the Senate stairs after voting for Trump's HUD nominee, Scott Turner. And unfortunately, all the king's horses and all the king's men have been furloughed. Then later in the day, he reportedly fell a second time, allegedly while carrying a plate of food. Don't worry, I'm okay, said a chuckling Mitch McConnell through what can only be described as a death mask of mashed potatoes. In other spill news, a big rig full of eggs crashed on the 5 Freeway in Los Angeles on Monday, causing major delays through east la. No word on the condition of each of the eggs. The truck had approximately $1 million worth of eggs inside, so it was about four dozen. And in other egg news, 100,000 eggs were stolen from the back of a distribution trailer in central Pennsylvania. We got a lot of great merchandise today. We got omelets, we got quiche, we got Benedicts, we got overeasy Andarizi, we got Shakshuk. Hey, come on. A gorgeous lady like you could use a frittata. Am I wrong? I can see it. I can see you in a frittata. Meanwhile, this fucking guy is trying to kill me on the matzo braai. We got custard, all right, because he's Jewish. And finally, striking hard bargain. It's part of moving eggs. And finally, for a $15 donation, the Columbus Zoo and Aquarium will name a worm after your ex, feed it to a sloth, and send you a video of it. But, doctor, my ex is the also just. Man, I don't know how you could lose a breakup harder than paying a zoo to name a worm. I can't think of anything that could prove to Jessica more that she was right than to find out there's a worm named Jessica being fed to a sloth. Up next, the virtuoso of villainy, it's Jason Isaacs.

[Paula Poundstone]

Hey, don't go anywhere.

[John Lovett]

There's more of Love it or Leave it coming up. Love it or Leave it is brought to you by Helix. I have a Helix Mattress. I have a Dawn Luxe. It's super comfortable. I always have. I have a little pain in the back of my neck, but it's been a huge improvement. I really like it. Once I got the mattress right, I got the pillows right, I got the sheets right, everything was better. Everything was better, Princess.

[Paula Poundstone]

And the PEA situation, huh?

[John Lovett]

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[John Lovett]

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[Jason Isaacs]

This podcast is supported by Comedy Central's.

[John Lovett]

Emmy award winning series the Daily Show. Jon Stewart and the Daily show news.

[Jason Isaacs]

Team are kicking off 2025 with brand new episodes covering a brand new administration and a not quite brand new president. While it may feel like we've all.

[Paula Poundstone]

Been here before, it's never been covered like this with Jon Stewart behind the.

[Jason Isaacs]

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[John Lovett]

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[Jason Isaacs]

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[Paula Poundstone]

Next day on Paramount Plus. And we're back.

[John Lovett]

Please welcome to the stage the only part of the Harry Potter universe I need to hear about ever again for the rest of my life. It's the incredible Jason Isaacs thank you for being here. How you doing?

[Jason Isaacs]

I wish I look. That's a very good photograph. I wish I look like that.

[John Lovett]

Now, let me start with this. When you were asked about your experience filming White Lotus, which returns for a third season on February 16, you told Time magazine, we're doing intimate scenes and you stink. By the end of each day, we're just caked in sweat and makeup. You can peel your clothes off with a towel. It melts your fillings. It would be churlish to complain there are terrible things going on in the world, but we've all had enough. However, when you were cast in Harry Potter, you said, and I quote, I read the first four books in one sitting. You know, didn't wash, didn't eat, drove around with them on the steering wheel like a lunatic. When did you smell worse? And is smelling bad part of your process?

[Jason Isaacs]

It's a reasonable question. I just talk bullshit to journalists and then it comes back and haunts you years later. Just trying to sound immune, get a smile out of someone. Yeah, but that thing went viral. What actually was talking about is how hot it was in Thailand, which was insanely hot. And I was. Just to illustrate it, I did that comic thing and going, it was so, you know, hot. We were all stinking by the end of the day. It went viral. It was in People and then saying weekly, and then Mike White writes, goes, what we. And I went, for fuck's sake, Mike, I'm sorry. And I've just done about 500 interviews all day today, and sure enough, they want to know who smelled the worst. And I wish I'd never said any of it now.

[John Lovett]

Hmm. I talked to Mike White once because I went on the show Survivor and he was on the show Survivor.

[Jason Isaacs]

I know.

[John Lovett]

How did you do? I did terribly, and then I got advice from him and I was excited to get advice from him, and then I did terribly, and then I got a text from him saying, how did it go?

[Jason Isaacs]

Oh.

[John Lovett]

And I haven't responded.

[Paula Poundstone]

He knew.

[John Lovett]

By the way.

[Jason Isaacs]

He knew.

[John Lovett]

He knew. I haven't responded. Did.

[Jason Isaacs]

Oh, I'll tell him tomorrow.

[John Lovett]

Please. Now, you know what that sound means, Jason, you've portrayed yourself as you. You've. You've played a lot of villains.

[Jason Isaacs]

I thought you said you prostrated yourself.

[John Lovett]

Prostrated yourself.

[Jason Isaacs]

Also true. To get the job, first of all.

[John Lovett]

Is it. I'm sure you get asked about being cast. You. You've played great villains and great heroes, but you're known as someone who's a great villain. It's a part of your. It's a part of your.

[Jason Isaacs]

What it is. I've been in about 200 things, at least eight of them quite good. And a couple of them have been very high profile. So the Harry Potter things and the Patriot, which is on every July 4th here, for some reason, people think it's a Ken Burns documentary. And I. No, I'm not kidding. I swear to God. I'm. Often places people come out and they go, I gotta tell you, man, I love the picture. And my fourth grade history teacher showed us the movie. And I go, and then they told you what really happened, right? What do you mean? I go, that's not a. Harry Potter is more historically accurate than the Patriots. And they don't quite get that. But those. So a couple of the villains I've done have been very, very high profile. And so I'm thought of as villainous. But, you know, I'm happy to be thought of as employed. That's. That's fine by me.

[John Lovett]

Does it. Does it.

[Jason Isaacs]

What was that noise?

[John Lovett]

Now, being sort of known as someone who's a great villain, did that affect your personality?

[Jason Isaacs]

In my life? Well, my wife is somewhere in the audience and she will tell you. Sometimes I go, oh, darling, pass the salt. She goes, that's a really horrible thing to say. And I go, watch, because you really. You don't like food. I go, no, it's just that my face on my. Obviously my default voice, I have a resting cunt face. That's what it is.

[John Lovett]

Resting villain face. Resting villain face.

[Jason Isaacs]

That's a much better word in America. You're right. Sorry.

[John Lovett]

No, you can say whatever you want now. Actually, you could say more than ever. Now. We're gonna play a game, and the game is called Was I in this? Oops. All Villain Edition. Why am I in that?

[Jason Isaacs]

What are these? Why do they pixelate to that?

[John Lovett]

Because they're part of.

[Jason Isaacs]

They're gonna be clean. Perhaps I thought they were just ashamed to be seen with us. Okay, fine.

[John Lovett]

I will ask. Bill's going out. Those are your. Bill's gonna be out there. Jason. I will ask you, the audience, whether Jason played a particular, particularly iconic on screen sociopath. You tell us yes or no. Bonus points if you remember if he had long hair in the role, because he almost certainly did.

[Jason Isaacs]

Was it a wig or. No, it's more. Never mind. Villanova Wiggle. No wig. That's what you want to ask.

[John Lovett]

Wig or no wig? Oh, let's find out.

[Jason Isaacs]

I just had to wear a chest wig once. The bald director, he Said women. He's a Welsh guy. And he said, you know, you want a chest where he's looking at manly women love riding their fingers. So, you know, your chest, down, up went. That's because you're bald, you idiot. But anyway, I did wear it because it was a big job for me.

[John Lovett]

The chest wig.

[Jason Isaacs]

Yeah, it was. It looked like a placenta. It was not good. It did. That's exactly what it looked like. It's not even funny.

[John Lovett]

Yeah. And you were in a spacesuit, so it didn't really make sense. No, no, Just for the character. All right, somebody want to play? Oh, hi. Hi. Hi. What's your name? Sam. Hi, Sam. I'll start. Jason played a mad scientist who kidnapped and studied people who had near death experiences on the unjustly canceled Netflix original the OA.

[Andy Richter]

Yup.

[John Lovett]

Hell yeah, that is true. He played Dr. Hunter Aloysius hat Percy.

[Jason Isaacs]

He's not a mad scientist because he's right. He was curing death. They can jump dimensions in it. And if he'd cured death, no one would care about the five people in the basement. I'm just gonna say sorry.

[John Lovett]

First of all, I love that because it's a beautiful part of a great villain performance, that a villain believes himself to be the hero, which you seem to have internalized in a frightening way.

[Jason Isaacs]

Somebody comes along go, I've cured cancer. You go, wow, I don't care how you did it, you've got cancer. This guy's going to cure death for all of mankind. For the future. So five people had a bit of a shitty time for a while.

[John Lovett]

Yeah. No, and look, I just think, look, let's not play out how that's been used to justify other things. But wait, now. Yes, sure, he does. In the show the oa, which none of you watch because you're, you know, you want to live in this horrible world where we don't get a third season of the oa.

[Jason Isaacs]

We might. I was with the director just yesterday. No, no. No one's commissioned it. But we talk all the time, me and Britain Zell, about what we might do.

[John Lovett]

Yeah, I'm in.

[Jason Isaacs]

Yeah, okay, fine.

[John Lovett]

The OA was great. It was great. Anyone who watched the OA understands. And the rest of you never clicked play on it because you're a bunch of sheep just buying sheep. Clicking on. I don't know. I think this is a cake. What if it's a cake you're clicking on instead? He's making art. He's making art in a basement.

[Jason Isaacs]

It is actually beautiful. It is A beautiful show.

[John Lovett]

It's beautiful. And you're like, I don't know. I think. I think the ladies are fighting in Salt Lake now.

[Jason Isaacs]

All right, I've got one.

[John Lovett]

Okay.

[Jason Isaacs]

I don't know. We keep talking about the OA, boy. I've got one. I played spaceship designer Dr. William Weir who succumbed to space madness in Paul W.S. anderson's haunting event Horizons. Jason.

[John Lovett]

Raise your hand. That person, he's almost did it right there.

[Jason Isaacs]

I think he's picking. I think he's picking his nose. Hold on.

[John Lovett]

Go back.

[Jason Isaacs]

Can I go to the toilet? No. Answer the question.

[John Lovett]

No. What's your answer?

[Paula Poundstone]

No.

[John Lovett]

That is.

[Jason Isaacs]

That is correct. That part was played by the fabulous Sam Neill. I played D.J. who was a doctor.

[John Lovett]

I. That movie. First of all, Event Horizon is on the list of movies I saw. I was a little too young. You really fucked me up. You. Me up in that movie. That movie's up. Shame on you.

[Jason Isaacs]

I don't know. I agree. I agree. I mean, I blame the parents, frankly, but still. Yeah, yeah.

[John Lovett]

Where were they?

[Jason Isaacs]

Yeah, but my parents. No, your parents, I'm talking about.

[John Lovett]

How dare you impug my parents.

[Jason Isaacs]

My parents.

[John Lovett]

You're blaming your own parents. Why are you bringing my poor parents into the.

[Jason Isaacs]

I said, kids, watch the Patriot. I watched the Patriot when I was 8 years old. And I go, what the fuck? I'm calling social services. It's wrong.

[John Lovett]

You know, the Patriot is very funny because it's very funny.

[Jason Isaacs]

Which version did you watch?

[John Lovett]

What's funny about it is Mel Gibson turns the British into such vill. You are the villain's villain in that.

[Jason Isaacs]

Movie where you stand on child killing on a bit. I know what he's saying.

[John Lovett]

That's true. That's true. Hey, what was the OA about, do you think?

[Jason Isaacs]

About 12 hours, two seasons altogether, you know.

[John Lovett]

Next up, Jason played one of the Knights of Walpurgis in the Harry Potter universe. Wow, Right? Fourth row, you say? I said no.

[Jason Isaacs]

Well, you've not read the Harry Potter books in great detail because Lucius Malfoy was in fact one of the Knights of Walpurgis, the original group name for the Death Eaters. But I objecting to calling him a villain. He's just a guy trying to make Hogwarts great again. That's all.

[John Lovett]

Nice.

[Jason Isaacs]

What?

[John Lovett]

It is amazing to me. It is amazing to me the lack of self awareness that Harry Potter fans have moving through the world. Every other person who loves something as a kid knows that they loved it as a kid. And that is wonderful. But that doesn't mean that it is not. I'm walking. I can feel the buzzsaw approaching my eye. Moving on.

[Jason Isaacs]

That's a wig though, isn't it? I can't tell you. I went live on a talk show in Britain late night when we did the second or third one. And Jonathan Ross, who's a famous British talk show host, said we let's talk about the wig, let's talk about the hair. It looks fabulous. And I said, well, you know, we style it different every time. And I said on live tv, this time we tried to make it look like Madame Gaga. And he went, I think you mean Lady Gaga. And I thought of so many good answers in the fucking car on the way home. But that moment I just went bright purple and swallowed my tongue.

[John Lovett]

Madame Gaga.

[Jason Isaacs]

Madame Gaga. I'm so cool and down with the kids.

[John Lovett]

I don't know, I think you could pull off calling her Madam Gaga. Very, very charming and British. I think you get away with it.

[Jason Isaacs]

Okay, it's me. I play the New York businessman who earns who learns a terrifying eel related secret at a mountain sanatorium in a cure for wellness. That is a creepy film. Seen that?

[John Lovett]

No, I haven't seen one.

[Jason Isaacs]

In fact, yeah, you and no one else.

[John Lovett]

Sam saw it. I did. I'm like weirdly your biggest fan here.

[Andy Richter]

Yes, you did.

[Jason Isaacs]

No, no, I did not.

[Andy Richter]

You were in it.

[Jason Isaacs]

I played Dr. Volma who ran the sanatorium and forced eels down people and desiccated them all. But can I tell you this? So we shot in the most haunted building in Europe. Oh look, there he is. And then I raped my daughter and I cloned her and it was all bad anyway. But we shot in the most haunted place in Europe. It's this compound of buildings where Hitler recovered after the first World War and then he. Where the Nazis were sent. And then when the Russians took it over, they used it as a sanatorium for their political distance and they lobotomized them all. And it's a place where there's been lots of serial killings, I was told. And all the buildings were haunted apart from when we renovated. So I kept my eyes down. I'm terrified of ghosts. I didn't want to see ever a silhouette at the window. But all these ghost hunters came all the time. And I looked it up, I thought, is this true? And I look up and there was a serial killing, many of them, but one quite recently in these buildings. And it was a photographer killed a bunch of models on a shoot. And I looked it up further and he was on, he was shooting for a fetish magazine and he'd killed him with a frying pan. And I wanted to know was it at lunchtime or was the frying pan part of the fetish? And I never did find out. If anybody knows, I'd love to find out. Sorry. We went down a dark hole this act. Sorry.

[John Lovett]

All right, next up, Jason played an arson happy British colonial soldier in 2000's the Patriot. We've already covered this, so you know the answer is yes. So I want to talk about the Patriot, okay, I tried to kill Mel.

[Jason Isaacs]

I did my best. Now I like him. He's not. It's a simple joke. Would have been, you know, you'd still have be ruled from England. Wouldn't be such a terrible thing now would it? I mean it didn't look good for a while.

[John Lovett]

But this, honestly, honestly, I, I. God, it's close, it's close.

[Jason Isaacs]

But I still pick this.

[John Lovett]

I still pick this.

[Jason Isaacs]

I choose this.

[John Lovett]

I choose this. Yes, we're going to be run by the dumbest ones of ours, but we picked them, we elected them fair and square this time and that's good. That's the way you do it. So not your hot dog fingered monarch.

[Jason Isaacs]

Guys, guys, welcome to talk about the Queen like that. So I go.

[John Lovett]

Do we have an image of Jason and the Patriot? Oh, come on, come on.

[Jason Isaacs]

So can I tell you about that photograph because I love a wig. So it's tied up or every single day. And I said to Roland the drivetrain Roland, when they put this wig on the morning, fully tied up, looks pretty cool when it's down. And he went, yeah, we should do something. And all the other people went, no, no, no, the British officers. It's tied up again. Shut up, let me see it. And he came on the trailer, he went, yeah, we do a scene with it down, sure. And so we went, well, why would he have his hair down? They went, he's washing his hair in a stream. They went, that's a little bit Timothy. Let's. He's shaving. So the whole scene happened just because when they put it on the morning, I went, I want to have long rock star hair. So there's a whole scene where I kill.

[John Lovett]

Very memorable. It's a very memorable scene. And it was all about the wig.

[Jason Isaacs]

It's only about the wig ever, darling. That's all it is.

[John Lovett]

Interesting. You want to do one more?

[Jason Isaacs]

Sure. I played, I can't say that I played the hottest Star Trek Captain Evil category. That's the whole question in Evil Category, I was in Star Trek playing someone.

[John Lovett]

Wait, I'll come up. I'll go to that person, but this person's freaking out. You got him. You got it. You're in the right spot. Okay, so my husband told me this on the way here, that you absolutely did that. And I said, I didn't think so, but we're gonna go with yes.

[Jason Isaacs]

Oh, okay.

[John Lovett]

I'm sorry. So before you got here, your husband said Jason Isaacs was a captain on Star Trek. Then he texted me to ask Mr. Jason this very question. So I appreciate that it's here. And then, then what was the. Asked that information. So your, your husband says, psychic. Your husband says he was in Star Trek. You say, I don't think so. Then I say, and we have this show where the question true of balls is, was he that specific thing? And you still aren't sure. I want. Hey, what does your husband have to do to just, I want it to be right, but I'm gonna give it. You want it to be right? Yeah, no, I'm gonna give Sean this one because he told me this on the way here. So well done. Yeah.

[Jason Isaacs]

I'll tell you one thing about Star Trek. So the future is very diverse, but not in terms of weight. We all wore these unbelievably tight kind of super mega Spanx things underneath our costumes. And if you remember, Patrick Stewart very had the pickard, had this famous thing where he pulled his jacket down. The Picard maneuver. They didn't want us to do that, so they zipped the jackets to the pants, which is all very well, except when you lift your AR and you give yourself a very visible front wedgie. And suddenly there were camel toes and veg and potatoes appearing everywhere. And so then we all had to wear these dancer supports so that you couldn't see what gender we were in the future, and said, can you keep your arms down? I went, no, I can't keep my arms down.

[John Lovett]

You're trying to act.

[Jason Isaacs]

Yeah, I'm trying to get out.

[John Lovett]

You need your arms.

[Jason Isaacs]

Nobody ate anything. You couldn't take them off. You couldn't. You'd lie there in the morning and be covered in whale blubber to get those clothes on. And it was like a sausage skin.

[John Lovett]

Wow.

[Jason Isaacs]

There we are, the troubles in Space. And Jonathan Frakes, who's Riker, who's one of my friends, a fabulous guy, is a director now and direct lots of Star Trek movies. He came on one of the first episodes and he went, okay, who's having trouble with their hands? And we went.

[John Lovett]

Yeah.

[Jason Isaacs]

He goes, you don't know where to put them.

[John Lovett]

Yeah.

[Jason Isaacs]

He goes, there's no pockets in space. Let me give you a tip. Whoever gets to fold their arms first wins the scene. Don't ever put your hands on the hip. You can't get them off. You're stuck the whole scene, mincing around with your hands on your hips.

[John Lovett]

Well, I. I can't say more because I think that I'm technically not supposed to have seen it, but I saw the first episode of White Lotus in a. In a illicit way, which you will get no more details of. And it's great. And you're great in it. I'm very excited for the new season of White Lotus. Jason Isaacs, thank you so much for being here.

[Jason Isaacs]

Thank you.

[John Lovett]

This was so fun.

[Jason Isaacs]

Thanks so much. It was great.

[John Lovett]

Jason. For the end game, we come back, Andy Richter and Paul Poundstone.

[Paula Poundstone]

Hey, don't go anywhere.

[John Lovett]

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[Paula Poundstone]

And we're back.

[John Lovett]

Please welcome to the stage two legends. It's the one and only Andy Richter and the one and only Paula Poundstone. Come around. Come join us.

[Andy Richter]

Hi.

[Paula Poundstone]

Hi, everybody.

[Andy Richter]

I love you, too. Thank you so much.

[Paula Poundstone]

I'm here too, Andy. And I'm much needier than her.

[John Lovett]

Hey, come on. You're both pretty needy people.

[Andy Richter]

I was gonna say.

[Paula Poundstone]

Come on, right up here. There's enough need to power a small city.

[John Lovett]

Yeah. Just all that's wafting off the stage is needed. And sexual charisma.

[Paula Poundstone]

Yeah. Smells like Fritos.

[John Lovett]

Yeah. Yeah. That's a flowery. Yeah.

[Paula Poundstone]

Yeah.

[John Lovett]

Corn. Hi, Paula. Hey.

[Andy Richter]

How are you? Good to see you. You look fantastic.

[John Lovett]

Oh, thanks.

[Andy Richter]

You know, a little sweaty. You look a little sweaty.

[Paula Poundstone]

I would have said dewy.

[John Lovett]

You think I said dewy?

[Paula Poundstone]

Yeah.

[Andy Richter]

Yeah. Is it because we working so hard? Is that what it was? You were, like, telling your jokes and.

[John Lovett]

Yeah, I'm sure that's part of it. Yeah, I'm sure that's part of it. I don't know. I didn't. I didn't know.

[Andy Richter]

Because you're drinking liquid death. That doesn't sound like a good idea. You're the kind of person that would then, like, check your metabolism.

[John Lovett]

You think?

[Andy Richter]

Yeah.

[John Lovett]

You think?

[Andy Richter]

Yeah.

[John Lovett]

You think I check my metabolism?

[Jason Isaacs]

Yeah.

[Andy Richter]

I think you're the kind of person that would, you know, pay attention to that sort of thing. Thing. Meanwhile, you drink shit called liquid death.

[John Lovett]

But I think there's a compliment inside of there, which is, do I look healthy to you in some sense that I'm measuring things?

[Andy Richter]

No, that's not how I meant it. Yeah, no, I meant it.

[Paula Poundstone]

I think she means you're a crazy contradiction.

[Andy Richter]

Yeah, something like that.

[Paula Poundstone]

You're about wellness, but then not.

[Andy Richter]

Yeah, yeah, yeah, you're. Yeah. No, it's just that, you know, the kind of person that would be concerned about their health. But then drinks something with such a spot on name. Do you see what I'm saying?

[Paula Poundstone]

It's just water.

[John Lovett]

It's just water. Annie and Paul, there's so much news this week.

[Paula Poundstone]

Oh boy. Is there?

[John Lovett]

Yeah. And every subsequent week until the concept of weeks no longer exists, which may happen by mid March.

[Andy Richter]

Are they getting rid of weeks? Is that what they're gonna do? They're gonna. They're gonna.

[John Lovett]

Yeah, weeks went. Woke.

[Paula Poundstone]

Yeah, yeah. Weeks are nine days now.

[Andy Richter]

Yeah, they're gonna get rid of weeks. They're gonna get rid of. Calendars will only be. They're no longer gonna have actual days. Every. It's just pictures of Trump. That's all calendars can be anymore. With maybe one Melania just to keep her off his back.

[John Lovett]

Yeah.

[Andy Richter]

You know this whole fucking thing. Do you know if. Okay, if Vogue had just put Melania on one goddamn cover, we wouldn't be where we are right now.

[John Lovett]

You really think it was that? It was that easy?

[Andy Richter]

I think that was a big part of it. Yeah. She just wanted to be on the. He would say something about it every so often. It really offended the whole family that.

[John Lovett]

Well, look, I've often said Vogue is responsible for most of the world's problems. And fine to add one more to the list.

[Andy Richter]

I don't think that's a reach.

[John Lovett]

I don't think it's a.

[Andy Richter]

Okay, so why are you sweaty? Because you were, Were you sitting at that. You were at that desk earlier.

[John Lovett]

So I'm not sweaty, which is okay.

[Andy Richter]

I wasn't watching. Did. Is it Jason? Did he have like a. Did he have like a flower that squirted water or something? Cuz I, I listened a little bit, but I wasn't watching. So if that had happened.

[John Lovett]

So. No. So you're. So you're basically, you're looking at this and you say, there's two possibilities. Either he's out here working 200, or Jason Isaacs dressed as some kind of 1970s era clown.

[Paula Poundstone]

Yes.

[John Lovett]

Asked me to smell his flower. And me thinking, this is just a beautiful lapel, just a beautiful corsage or whatever. Boon knee I leaned in, none the wiser. A fool. A perfect fool. And boom. Jason Isaacs squeezes the little balloon in his pocket and boom. I'm hitting the face with a bunch of water and it's kind of smooth and it left a kind of dewy and sweaty impression.

[Andy Richter]

That's what I thought could have happened. And it's funny that you. You go back to like a 1930s clown. Is that what you Said, because I'm thinking we've all gone to look for America. Oh, it's a. Thank you. Simon and Garfunkel.

[John Lovett]

Simon and Garfunkel.

[Andy Richter]

And, you know, there was a squirting flower.

[John Lovett]

Was there?

[Paula Poundstone]

Right. There was a camera. Like, something about this guy with a camera, you know? Yeah. The man thing has a camera or something.

[Andy Richter]

Oh, my God. That's going great. I tell you something, I was this close to being, like, the Heather Cox Richardson of the show, and then my history is that far off. I feel like such an idiot right now.

[John Lovett]

You know what?

[Andy Richter]

But I'm a dry idiot. You're.

[Paula Poundstone]

Why are you.

[Andy Richter]

Why are you so sweaty?

[Paula Poundstone]

I'm not. He's not sweaty. He's just a little shiny.

[John Lovett]

Just a little shiny.

[Paula Poundstone]

It's moist out. There's a. It's humid.

[John Lovett]

It is wet out. Yeah.

[Andy Richter]

I just wondered if the audience was more challenging than I, you know, if you were, like, just up here working and working and just. You know, sometimes when I'm in a theater, they'll, you know, I ask them to put, you know, a stool on stage for me to sit down, and they'll put, like, a towel on it as well. And I always feel so bad, like. And I'll say to the audience, you know, I'm going to do my very best tonight, but the odds of me sweating enough that I'll need to towel off are very, very slim.

[John Lovett]

Andy, do you often find that you get wet enough to need a towel on stage?

[Paula Poundstone]

I am good at sweating. Yeah. And I have felt dewy all day. Day. It's been moist out today. And you wear the raincoat, which doesn't really breathe, and then you take it off and you wear a raincoat. Yeah. When it's raining outside, some of us leave our houses.

[Andy Richter]

No. You know, I walked my dog today, but I. I didn't wear a raincoat. I wore coming down. It wasn't like, you know, like, diagonally through. It's a little bit puffy and misty.

[John Lovett]

Did you forget your robe and judge's gavel before coming out? Jesus Christ. Anybody else want to come out here and have their. And be judged by Paula Pound?

[Andy Richter]

You know what?

[John Lovett]

Yeah.

[Paula Poundstone]

And especially, like, on such solid ground as on a rainy day. You wore a raincoat. Are you mad, sir?

[Andy Richter]

Did you have a umbrella as well?

[Paula Poundstone]

No, I had. I had a lot of things to do today. I was all over town. Who knows when the rain's coming and going? I wore a raincoat, and I will.

[John Lovett]

Not apologize for it, which is why it's time for a segment we call.

[Andy Richter]

Why is John so Moist? That could be a new regular segment. Go ahead.

[John Lovett]

So I'm going to quiz Andy and Paula on the week's news. We didn't have time to cover the monologue because there's too much fucking happening in a segment we're calling that's that News depresso. Oh, look at us.

[Paula Poundstone]

Look at you.

[John Lovett]

Look at us up there.

[Paula Poundstone]

You look bone dry in that picture.

[Andy Richter]

Yeah, you should.

[Jason Isaacs]

I'm sure.

[John Lovett]

I'm sure. I need. You know.

[Paula Poundstone]

Wow.

[Andy Richter]

That's that news.

[John Lovett]

Are you both ready?

[Andy Richter]

Yeah.

[Paula Poundstone]

Yes. Oh, born ready.

[Andy Richter]

I don't have a raincoat, but we're in Sun. Just a. I'm not prepared for all weather, but.

[Paula Poundstone]

Yeah. Yeah. Except the fucking scarf. What? Oh, it's really fucking freezing.

[John Lovett]

Out.

[Paula Poundstone]

Out.

[John Lovett]

Yeah.

[Andy Richter]

Get her, Andy.

[John Lovett]

Yeah.

[Andy Richter]

I am cold.

[Paula Poundstone]

You're cold?

[Andy Richter]

I am cold.

[John Lovett]

Roast this.

[Paula Poundstone]

You're cold. Or. Or are you just Charlton Heston?

[John Lovett]

Boom, boom. Andy Richter.

[Andy Richter]

Was that. What is that thing that he wore?

[John Lovett]

A cravat. Thank.

[Andy Richter]

A cravat.

[Paula Poundstone]

Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

[Andy Richter]

No, no, it's that I was cold.

[Paula Poundstone]

Oh, it was cold.

[Andy Richter]

That was going to be the kind of questions you were answering.

[Paula Poundstone]

So are you older?

[Andy Richter]

Are you Charleston?

[Paula Poundstone]

You reacted to the environment by changing your wardrobe, you fucking asshole.

[John Lovett]

What a moron.

[Andy Richter]

I just. I did it. Was it raining harder than I realized.

[John Lovett]

Hey, Paula, it'd be fine to raincoat. Wear a raincoat even if it wasn't raining harder than you personally realized. Right?

[Paula Poundstone]

Right.

[John Lovett]

It's an acceptable thing to wear at the slightest fucking drizzle.

[Paula Poundstone]

Right.

[John Lovett]

It's a raincoat. You don't go to jail for wearing it if it's not even raining.

[Andy Richter]

Also in Los Angeles, you might get.

[Paula Poundstone]

My fucking money's worth.

[Jason Isaacs]

Yeah.

[Andy Richter]

You know, here's what I'm getting from our whole interaction. We're all on edge.

[John Lovett]

All right, follow. First question is to you. After President Trump announced that he'll be attending this week's super bowl in New Orleans, the NFL announced it would remove what phrase from the end zone?

[Andy Richter]

What phrase? From the end zone.

[John Lovett]

Yeah.

[Andy Richter]

I didn't know there was a phrase, like, written in the end zone.

[John Lovett]

Yes, written in the end zone. I think Andy knows.

[Andy Richter]

Andy, go ahead.

[Paula Poundstone]

End racism.

[John Lovett]

That's correct. The phrase was on the super bowl Field since 2020. It will be replaced by the phrase phrases. Choose love. And it takes all of us to do what? Not end racism.

[Paula Poundstone]

Not end racism.

[Andy Richter]

Wow. I didn't even know what to say.

[Paula Poundstone]

I think the point is Racism's over. It's. It's evident, it's over.

[John Lovett]

It's resolved.

[Paula Poundstone]

Oh, yeah, yeah. That's. That's the whole. You know. You know, of course I don't believe that, folks. I. No, it's great. You know. Yeah. It used to say right on the end zone and they. It was. And I think it was on helmets for a while too.

[John Lovett]

Really? Yeah.

[Paula Poundstone]

And racism.

[Andy Richter]

I had no idea.

[Paula Poundstone]

Yeah, yeah, it's a good suggestion, honestly. You know, just on a to do list that you. Just a floating one that you keep going.

[John Lovett]

Andy stole that one. So I'm go back to you, Paula. After the white supremacist group the Proud Boys defaulted on a $2.8 million settlement against them, a judge awarded the Metropolitan African Methodist Episcopal church of Washington, D.C. the trademark to what?

[Andy Richter]

The name the Proud Boys.

[John Lovett]

That's correct.

[Andy Richter]

Yeah. I don't know why they'd want it.

[Paula Poundstone]

Wow.

[John Lovett]

Now they can give it to the Onion or something. Andy, which one of these was not an action taken by Google this week? Was it, A, abandon their diversity hiring goals. B, remove their 2018 pledge not to use AI in the development of weapons, surveillance or any technologies that cause or are likely to cause overall harm. C, give Elon Musk an honorary non voting seat on their board. Or D, all of the above.

[Paula Poundstone]

Oh, boy. Well, I know it's the first one, but the other two I'm not sure of of because the news is too painful to really focus on it these days.

[Andy Richter]

How was the question phrased? Was it what? Which thing did they.

[Paula Poundstone]

Not which did happen.

[John Lovett]

Which didn't happen.

[Andy Richter]

Didn't happen.

[Paula Poundstone]

Didn't happen. Oh, golly. I think the Elon Musk thing, that's correct. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

[John Lovett]

They did not give Elon Musk an Andre board seat.

[Paula Poundstone]

Good thing you clarified because I was going the wrong way.

[Andy Richter]

Yeah, I saw that.

[Paula Poundstone]

Yeah, yeah, yeah. This is from the raincoat. The raincoat and blocks my vision.

[Andy Richter]

The visor.

[Paula Poundstone]

Yeah, yeah.

[Andy Richter]

The Groton's fish sticks hat came down over your eyes.

[John Lovett]

When you see someone wear sunglasses at night, you must just shit a brick. This is from the memo announcing the end of Google's DEI goals, written by the chief people officer of Google's parent company, Alphabet, as reported by Reuters. Here's the quote. In 2020, we set aspirational hiring goals. Focused and focused on growing our offices outside California and New York to improve representation. But in the future, we will no longer have aspirational goals. Tough quote, tough quote. Paul, over to you. According to a study conducted by Researchers at the University of Richmond and published last week in Science Advances, Rising temperatures associated with climate change reportedly caused an explosion of what in cities.

[Andy Richter]

An explosion of what in cities? Heat explosion of. I don't know, pigeons.

[John Lovett]

Ah, so close. So close. So close. Rap rats, Rat births, Rising temperatures and increasingly dense urban populations seem to boost rat populations.

[Andy Richter]

Yeah.

[Paula Poundstone]

So it's not all bad news.

[John Lovett]

So it's not all bad news.

[Andy Richter]

No.

[Paula Poundstone]

Yeah.

[Andy Richter]

No. But the prices are going up for a lot of those rats.

[John Lovett]

Yeah, yeah.

[Andy Richter]

When they.

[Paula Poundstone]

Rat eggs, man. Through the roof.

[Andy Richter]

Yeah. This is a kitchen table issue for a lot of rat families.

[Paula Poundstone]

The garbage. I can't afford garbage anymore.

[Andy Richter]

Yeah, exactly.

[John Lovett]

Sitting at their little spools. It's a kitchen spool issue for the rats. They're cute little homes. Yeah. They're gross. Andy. As reported by the Washington Post, which of the following words. It was not a word reportedly flagged to the National Science foundation by the Trump administration to trigger a review if present in an active science research project. Was it, A, historically, B, disability, C, woman, or were all of those words on the list?

[Paula Poundstone]

I'm gonna say all of them.

[John Lovett]

They were. They were all on the list. Historically.

[Paula Poundstone]

I mean, the other two are like. Of course those dumb dumbs did that. But historically, it's just. That's just stupid. But. Okay. Yeah, they probably. Yeah. Because history is problematic. I just.

[John Lovett]

If you. I just would like. If you're studying anything, it's probably in the past.

[Paula Poundstone]

Yes.

[John Lovett]

Because it is very difficult to conduct research in the future.

[Paula Poundstone]

Right.

[John Lovett]

And the present is infinitely short.

[Paula Poundstone]

Yep.

[Andy Richter]

Do you think there's gonna come a time, like, I think, like kids in school now, like, history is so much longer than it was when we were in school.

[Paula Poundstone]

It is.

[Andy Richter]

Don't you think there's going to come a time where you just have to. Okay, we're going to turn over all the cards. Don't. Maybe they're right. Maybe they're right not to want to gather history and study history anymore.

[Paula Poundstone]

You mean like clean slate? Yeah, exactly. It's just too fucking Presidency is day one.

[John Lovett]

Yeah. Like, like, like we're, like we're renewing our vows.

[Andy Richter]

Yeah.

[John Lovett]

You know, fresh start.

[Andy Richter]

Yeah, sort of like that.

[Paula Poundstone]

Yeah.

[Jason Isaacs]

Yeah.

[John Lovett]

Paula. Since April, H5N1 has killed millions of hens, driven up egg price, reduced milk output, and killed 70 people nationwide. This week, cattle in Nevada were diagnosed with yet another concerning illness, an illness never before seen in cattle. What was that illness?

[Andy Richter]

I believe it was bird flu.

[John Lovett]

It was. It was a second strain of bird flu. A second bird flu. Has hit the cows. Sorry.

[Andy Richter]

Just skip breakfast. That's what I say. I don't understand the whole egg thing.

[John Lovett]

You mean just enjoying them?

[Andy Richter]

I don't eat eggs anymore. I stopped eating eggs a while ago just because I don't want to bother chickens.

[Paula Poundstone]

They're not bothered. They leave them behind. They get rid of. And then they're like, I'm done with that and I'm on my way, you know?

[Andy Richter]

No, but they're not on their way very far, are they're.

[Paula Poundstone]

They.

[Andy Richter]

They're in captivity.

[Paula Poundstone]

If you pay back. If you pay more money for the chickens, you. Ideally, they're.

[John Lovett]

Yeah.

[Paula Poundstone]

Get a little bit away from them.

[John Lovett]

Do you eat chicken?

[Andy Richter]

No. Oh, I try to. I try not to eat anything that, were it alive, would rather I didn't.

[John Lovett]

Right. That's an interesting question. That's a. I think that's philosophical.

[Andy Richter]

Do I not eat first the chicken or the egg? I think I heard on the radio coming in, by the way, it's great location here.

[John Lovett]

This is the part of the show where you talk about how you happen. You know what?

[Andy Richter]

I want to see if you could get some sort of a theater in California. That's all I'm saying. Paula, why do you live like.

[John Lovett]

You don't eat eggs. So you don't understand how anyone eat eggs. You don't live here.

[Andy Richter]

No, no, no, that's not what I mean. Mean, I can see how you interpreted that way. That's not what I mean. No, the location thing, I'm right on. But the eggs. No, but the. No, the eggs.

[John Lovett]

No.

[Andy Richter]

What I don't understand is why, if eggs are so expensive, don't people just stop eating eggs? That's what I don't understand. Just don't eat.

[John Lovett]

Well, they're in a lot of stuff.

[Paula Poundstone]

Yeah. And they're also wonderful.

[John Lovett]

And they're right.

[Andy Richter]

Yeah. Boys, somebody's working through the old egg lobby, aren't they?

[Paula Poundstone]

I just believe in hope and potential symbol of such. Yeah, yeah. I love eggs. Eggs are great.

[John Lovett]

Yeah.

[Andy Richter]

You. I've recognized you now. You're that guy from the commercial. The guy in the raincoat with the egg in his hand.

[Paula Poundstone]

Yeah, right, right, right. That's right.

[Andy Richter]

A wonderful egg.

[Paula Poundstone]

The egg perv. That's my character name.

[John Lovett]

Sneaking in.

[Paula Poundstone]

Yeah, yeah. You'll never guess where the. This has been.

[John Lovett]

Has it?

[Jason Isaacs]

Can't.

[John Lovett]

I can't believe in a chicken.

[Paula Poundstone]

That's the punchline.

[John Lovett]

It was actually. A lot of people thought the egg council wouldn't go for that character. But they. But they. They were Pretty cool people. They really did. They were edgy. They were edgy.

[Paula Poundstone]

They're not paying me for it, which is I find odd. And I've got my lawyer on it, but I'm still doing them. I'm still doing those ads.

[Andy Richter]

Yeah, well, you know what?

[John Lovett]

It's.

[Andy Richter]

It's where your heart is.

[John Lovett]

It sure is, Andy. The question is to you.

[Paula Poundstone]

Yes.

[John Lovett]

And finally, just weeks out of office, former president Joe Biden signed an important new deal. What was that deal?

[Paula Poundstone]

Oh, he signed with an agency. Was it uta?

[John Lovett]

No, caa.

[Paula Poundstone]

Caa.

[John Lovett]

Here we have a clip from Trump with Trump responding. You gotta be kidding. He signed on with a talent agency. I think he's got bigger problems than that.

[Jason Isaacs]

I really do.

[John Lovett]

I think he's got much bigger problems than that, but I wish him well.

[Andy Richter]

Oh, yeah.

[Paula Poundstone]

Well, why is signing on with CAA a problem? Problem?

[John Lovett]

I don't think it's a problem. I do think that the moment seems a little dissonant as we slowly descend into fascism. He's like, I'm getting the talkie game.

[Paula Poundstone]

It's not the best call.

[Andy Richter]

I think it's fine. He did. You know what? He worked his ass off. He did what he could. And why should he have to. I think it's fine. Fine?

[Paula Poundstone]

Yeah. Why not get a reality show.

[John Lovett]

Yeah. The Real Housewives of Rehoboth. Yeah.

[Andy Richter]

I don't know why he shouldn't. You know, people do speaking.

[Paula Poundstone]

Well, I know, but I mean, but he could have waited a. Well, I guess the clock is ticking.

[John Lovett]

But.

[Paula Poundstone]

No, but it does. It does seem a little undignified.

[Andy Richter]

I. What? Why they all do speaky things.

[John Lovett]

This is where you're not judging. What an experience it's been. Andy puts on a raincoat. You can't make sense of it. Joe Biden signs with caa, and you're like, checks out.

[Andy Richter]

I just think it's fine. He gets paid to go make speeches. I. You know, I think that's fine. Are you deciding not to ask a lot of these questions?

[John Lovett]

Well, we've just. We've just. I've actually gone through a lot, but I was trying to think of one question to end this segment on, and here's my question. What is your favorite super bowl snack? Paula?

[Andy Richter]

I don't watch the Super Bowl.

[John Lovett]

But if you were, what would be your favorite snack during it?

[Andy Richter]

Okay. Ooh, probably Ruffles potato chips.

[John Lovett]

Okay. Like the ruffles. Likes the ridges. Andy, what's your favorite super bowl snack?

[Paula Poundstone]

Nachos.

[John Lovett]

Yeah, the best.

[Paula Poundstone]

Oh, nachos. I could live on them. I mean, I wouldn't live long on them, but I could live on them.

[John Lovett]

Hey, we're here for a good time, not a long time.

[Jason Isaacs]

Yeah, that's right.

[John Lovett]

I like nachos. Thank you so much, Paula and Andy. Paula is at the alex Theater on February 8th and you can stream. Nobody listens to Paula Poundstone and the Three Questions with Andy Richter wherever you get your podcast. Plus, the Andy Richter Collins show is every Wednesday on SiriusXM at 1:00. We did it. I joined you.

[Paula Poundstone]

He was a guest host and it was a blast.

[John Lovett]

We had such a good time.

[Paula Poundstone]

Yeah.

[John Lovett]

When we come back, we're more than just a petty face.

[Paula Poundstone]

Hey, don't go anywhere.

[John Lovett]

There's more of Love it or Leave it coming up. Love it or Leave it is brought to you by armrock Colostrum. Every day it seems like we're being told to worry about something new like gut health or metabolic optimization or living forever, which no thanks. Armor doesn't want to live forever. I'm in. I'll keep going. Quite an answer to give you. Quite an assumption to me. Yeah, I'm here for a long time, not a good time. And now there's so many supplements to choose from. It would even make Gwyneth Paltrow's head spin. Wow.

[Jason Isaacs]

Wow.

[John Lovett]

But it doesn't have to be that difficult if your New Year, new me resolve is starting to wane. Give your immunity and gut health their best chance with Armor Colostrum. Probiotics and other supplements are touted as a gut health solution, but most products on the market are dead before they even reach your gut. Armor Colostrum naturally fortifies your entire gut wall system and optimizes your whole body microbiome, which helps guard against irritants that can trigger digestive issues and compromise your immune system. Research has shown that colostrum helps to enhance nutritional absorption. Arma Colostrum can help stabilize blood sugar levels, modulate hormone hormones, ignite your metabolism. The bioactives in Armor Colostrum have been shown to aid in reactivating hair follicle stem cells and activating collagen production. Wow. That's cool. We've even worked out a special offer for my audience, so move over to their previous offer. Get 50 off your first order when you go to try armor.com love it or enter code love it at checkout. That's T-R-Y-A R M R A.com love it. TaxAct can think of a million things more fun than filing taxes. TaxAct is going to name some. Now, sitting in traffic, folding a fitted bedsheet, listening to your co worker talk about his fantasy team digging a hole. Digging an even larger hole next to that original hole. Unfortunately, TaxAct's filing software can't make taxes fun, but TaxAct can't and help you get them done. Tax Act. Let's get them over with. And we're back. And come see us next week. We'll be at the Laundrom. You can get [e-mail] events. Thomas Lennon will be there with some other great guests coming. Also, Crooked Media Reads is publishing Woodworking, the fantastic debut novel from Yellowjackets, writer and culture critic Emily St. James, out March 4. It's a fantastic novel. You can pre order Woodworking wherever you like to get books. And if you're in la, join me and Emily for a convers and book signing at Skylight books on Friday, March 7, crooked.com books. And please welcome Jason Isaacs back to the stage. He's back.

[Jason Isaacs]

I brought this. You're looking a little shiny on the monitor. I don't know.

[John Lovett]

Unbelievable.

[Jason Isaacs]

Hello.

[Andy Richter]

Hello.

[Jason Isaacs]

Hello.

[John Lovett]

I don't care.

[Jason Isaacs]

Just mupp it. Just muppet down.

[John Lovett]

I got it. Jason Isaacs, you are a villain.

[Jason Isaacs]

You said he was looking a little dewy before. I thought. Is that right? I thought he said that. That's what it sounded like back there.

[John Lovett]

No, that's what I heard too. Right, Andy? Like, that guy looks a little Jewy. And I was like, what? Yeah. They're like, yeah, you're a sweaty little Jew. That was what I heard. Is that crazy? Yeah. Now it's time for a segment we call Petty is the head that wears the crown. Look, this is a moment of big complaints and big problems. But in this segment, each of us is going to share for one minute a tiny, tiny complaint. The goal will be to share the smallest complaint because the pettiest complaint will win. We will rank them. Okay.

[Paula Poundstone]

Okay.

[John Lovett]

And so let's see who has.

[Andy Richter]

That is a complaint just in general.

[John Lovett]

In life, but whatever you want. The smaller the better.

[Andy Richter]

Okay.

[John Lovett]

First up, Jason.

[Jason Isaacs]

Oh, there's so many things that bother me. So I'm English, you may or not have noticed that, but when I'm in America, when I order tea, as I do in a restaurant, I go, can you put the bag in the water before it boils? And they go, sure. And then they always bring the fucking water with a bag next to it. And they go, we have a choice of bags, sir. And I go, I talk to put the water in the bag and it makes me want to actually stick a fork in their eye always.

[Andy Richter]

Wow.

[Jason Isaacs]

It's a source of tremendous fury for me.

[John Lovett]

So I don't, I'm, I'm a coffee person. It's a coffee country. So they're coffee.

[Paula Poundstone]

Ouch.

[Jason Isaacs]

Yeah.

[John Lovett]

No, it's not. Not. This is the reality. I don't know tea culture.

[Jason Isaacs]

So you need to put the bag in the water when it's hot, not when it's lukewarm. When it comes to the table, that's got a steep in the water.

[John Lovett]

But wouldn't. It just doesn't never gets as good.

[Jason Isaacs]

No, it's not tea. It's some kind of urine colored. I don't know what dish water.

[John Lovett]

Do you put cream in your tea or milk?

[Jason Isaacs]

No, because I'm a vegan. How do you know someone's a vegan? Because they tell you and you're a vegan. That's why I'm a vegan. Almond. I know the whole egg debate. I heard more from me.

[Paula Poundstone]

Fascinating.

[John Lovett]

That's right. Yeah. Make French toast too. Do you ever have French toast?

[Jason Isaacs]

That's all I got. I do. I'm just now thinking of the 8 million other funnier things I could have said than other than teabag. But I'll get them in the car. On the way home. Our suitcases were around forever. And somehow in about 1990, someone went, you know what? Let's put two wheels on the suitcase. Yeah, great. And about 10 years later, someone went, let's put four wheels on a suitcase. What took so long? It's a wheel.

[Paula Poundstone]

I know.

[John Lovett]

Isn't that shocking? Ridiculous. When I was a kid, I just remember it was like suitcases. You got to buy a little crate, a little pull thing when you want, when you go on a family trip, you got to get one of those things because that had wheels on it.

[Jason Isaacs]

A porter.

[John Lovett]

Yeah, like one of those things. And you just traveled with that. And then somebody was like, there's a better way. But why did it take until the late 90s?

[Jason Isaacs]

So why did they put two wheels on? And then sometime later someone else went, oh my God, let's put a third wheel on. And then five years later went, you know what? Stick a fourth wheel on the other corner and they'll stand up by themselves.

[Paula Poundstone]

I, I, I think it has something to do with the wheel finally coming into the public domain.

[Jason Isaacs]

Yes, could be.

[John Lovett]

Right. Paula, you're up next. What's this? What's your tiniest complaint of the day?

[Andy Richter]

Oh, boy. Well, there's a lot. When the ziploc bag, you know, which I try. You know, I reuse my Ziploc bags. I rinse them and reuse them. But when they. If you get the kind that aren't. The Ziploc is not quality and you have to like, keep redoing it. Redoing. Then you go to put the thing in the freezer and it's still not right. And then you just. That really gets.

[John Lovett]

It gets you. Yeah. Have you seen the ones that have the slider now you got to get the ones with the slider. You know about that, right?

[Andy Richter]

Yeah.

[John Lovett]

Has that hit you?

[Andy Richter]

I think we. I occasionally do have that kind. It's the better kind. It's a higher quality kind. The other thing. Okay, wait. I know. But along the same lines of plastic bags. When. Because, you know, I sift my litter boxes and I sift them into a, you know, a trash bag. And sometimes when you can't. Oh, like, there's no way of separating the two part. The two halves of the trash bag. That can take hours.

[John Lovett]

That stinks. I'm sorry. That's happening.

[Andy Richter]

You know, the. The. The most effective way of doing it is having, like, damp fingers.

[John Lovett]

Right.

[Andy Richter]

And so you may never have struggled with this.

[John Lovett]

Unbelievable. Unbelievable. Unbelievable. Wow. I have a big complaint about tonight.

[Paula Poundstone]

Can I piggyback on that?

[John Lovett]

Yes.

[Paula Poundstone]

Just on trash bags and plastic bags. The times in my. I think the times in my life when I have wanted to murder someone the most were after I get home after buying trash bags and then find out their sentence.

[Andy Richter]

Oh, that is the worst. Yeah.

[Paula Poundstone]

Oh, my. Who's what evil monster thinks like, you know what? I. I want your garbage to smell like a nursing home.

[John Lovett]

You know, I. I'm so glad you brought this up. It's so important. The scented garbage bags are disgusting. Disgusting. I don't think I want my garbage to. Even if it smelled good. I think it's a bad idea. I would like nothing from this bag.

[Paula Poundstone]

Yes.

[John Lovett]

Because if I'm. Because if I. It's like, how are things so bad right now in this garbage situation? That it's not so bad that you're taking it to the street.

[Paula Poundstone]

Right.

[John Lovett]

Or to the. To the fucking shoot. But. But. But also you need to have a scent coming out of it to hide the stench of the garbage.

[Paula Poundstone]

What's going on?

[John Lovett]

What is the point of time where you need the scented garbage bag? Because you put the garbage bag in the garbage can. The idea is you get it out of your way. Yes. Then you briefly experiencing it when you're taking the garbage out and then it's on the fucking street or wherever you take your garbage. You're never living around these bucking bags. No, it's stupid.

[Paula Poundstone]

And also stupid.

[Jason Isaacs]

What if it's raining? What if it's a horrible rainy day? You don't want to take it outside. You don't have a raincoat, you know, and you go, I gotta put up.

[John Lovett]

With it for a little bit longer.

[Jason Isaacs]

Until the rain stops. But I can't stand the smell. I wish I had some kind of sickening strawberry thing over the top of it.

[Paula Poundstone]

Guys, I think we have ourselves a centi.

[John Lovett]

Yeah, yeah.

[Jason Isaacs]

Absolutely right.

[John Lovett]

That's right.

[Jason Isaacs]

I've never heard of a scent to go. I'm quite excited. I'm gonna buy some Stable Nausea.

[Andy Richter]

Oh, my God. You can't find ones that aren't sent.

[Paula Poundstone]

I think that.

[Jason Isaacs]

Love America.

[Paula Poundstone]

A garbage bag should be a blank. Like a blank slate, a blank canvas on which. Which your week's experiences can be relived on the way to the trash.

[John Lovett]

That's right. That's right. Oh, right. We had quesadillas.

[Paula Poundstone]

And, you know, and you get the smell of decay, which is like regret, you know, over so many ways. You don't. I don't want. Glad to tell me what to feel.

[Andy Richter]

Well, if they had. If they had regret scented bags, I would get those.

[Paula Poundstone]

I'd wear them. I'd wear them. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I'd have a whole suit made out of them. Oh, these.

[John Lovett]

Andy, do you have a. Do you want. Is that. Do you want to have. Do you want to. Do you have another complaint?

[Paula Poundstone]

Well, I did have one loaded up, and it's. And it's not. I mean.

[Andy Richter]

Let it out.

[Paula Poundstone]

Yeah. I'm a dog owner. I live in Pasadena. You know, people leaving dog shit on around, like, that's. Of course, that's infuriating and should be punishable by something. And I. Do. I. It's the only reason.

[Jason Isaacs]

Death is the only language.

[Paula Poundstone]

It's the only reason that I'm for, like, CCTV everywhere, just to get people leaving dog shit. Like, I. And I just think there should be a whole part of city government just focused on that. But the thing that gets me beyond that is that you go to the trouble of picking it up. And I'm not one of those people that says, don't put dog shit in my trash can. It's a trash can. Put your dog in there. I don't care. But then they put it in the recycling or the yard waste.

[John Lovett]

Well, hold on a second.

[Paula Poundstone]

You might as well throw it in the street.

[John Lovett]

Can I. I'm going to ask a question.

[Paula Poundstone]

Yes.

[John Lovett]

Okay. And you're passionate.

[Paula Poundstone]

Yes.

[John Lovett]

And I love that if I have compostable poop bags, which I do, and it's filled with poop, can I not.

[Paula Poundstone]

Put that in Carnivore's Poop is not compostable.

[John Lovett]

It doesn't go in the yard waste.

[Paula Poundstone]

It does not.

[Jason Isaacs]

Really. It's not manure. It's not great on soil and stuff.

[Paula Poundstone]

It's the same way that you can't put human in there. Now we get why he needs scented bags.

[John Lovett]

Now. Now, Andy, in fairness, you're making a.

[Jason Isaacs]

Point to apologize to all of my neighbors.

[Paula Poundstone]

Now, the reason he's out there again, how does he prop himself up?

[John Lovett]

Yes. I would say that the reason I wasn't putting human waste in the yard waste bin is not because I knew I couldn't. It's just simply that I wouldn't. But when I thought, I genuinely am learning this from you on this stage, that I thought because I went to the trouble of buying compostable bags, that that meant that green and black were both acceptable places.

[Paula Poundstone]

No, that poop is not. I mean, of course, when it's mixed in with everything, it's, you know, know it's. But it's.

[John Lovett]

But it's not supposed to be.

[Paula Poundstone]

Not supposed to be compostable. If you had a compost pile in your backyard, you know, you could.

[John Lovett]

Like.

[Paula Poundstone]

I used to live in an equestrian area of Burbank, and I would. There'd be horseshit on the street, and I'd put it in our compost pile because that's.

[John Lovett]

They eat hay. Because they eat hay.

[Paula Poundstone]

They eat hay. It's an herbivore. But you. But dog shit. You don't want to do it.

[Jason Isaacs]

I'm a vegan, so I'm fine.

[Paula Poundstone]

That's right. That's right.

[John Lovett]

All right.

[Paula Poundstone]

Just see him. I'm a vegan. It's okay.

[Jason Isaacs]

The alert is off.

[John Lovett]

Good.

[Andy Richter]

Yeah, boy. You want. You want to get that information out to the neighborhood watch?

[John Lovett]

What a fascinating thing to learn. All right, here's my complaint, my tiniest complaint. It's this. If Nyquil and Dayquil in the bottles, Dayquil, you can take it every four to six hours. Take it three times. Maybe four times if you're nasty. Nyquil. Max once. Max once. They are the same size bottle. That does not make any sense whatsoever. You never need the same amount of Nyquil as day. I'm not. Look, maybe there are sickos out there.

[Jason Isaacs]

That when they're it's not about need. Sometimes it's about desire.

[John Lovett]

Well, that's what I was gonna say. Maybe there are sickos out there that midday are just like, I want to go to La La Land, taking a midday Nyquil. But for the most part, you go dayquil. Dayquil, Daquil, Nyquil, Dayquil, Daquil, Dayquil, Nyquil. Which means you end up buying the two pack because it is $3 cheaper to buy two pack.

[Paula Poundstone]

Exactly.

[John Lovett]

And then. And then you go into your drawer where you've reorganized to put all this stuff together because you realize during the pandemic, pandemic that you had six or seven years worth of this stuff, most of which was expired once you all got it in one place. And what do you end up with? You have half bottle Nyquil, half bottle. You have like 3/4 bottle Nyquil, half bottle Dayquil. 3/4 bottle Nyquil, half bottle Dayquil. Well, it's just a small complaint.

[Jason Isaacs]

It's reasonable.

[Paula Poundstone]

The only thing is, is that Nyquil is the only one that's a mixer. That's jquil, is not it?

[John Lovett]

That's your little ice, little vodka, little. Yeah, something nice, maybe something bitter. Just to kind of call some friends.

[Jason Isaacs]

Around, have a Nyquil party, clear your backlog.

[Andy Richter]

But Nyquil just puts you to sleep and then.

[Jason Isaacs]

Not if you fight it.

[Andy Richter]

Going to sleep.

[Paula Poundstone]

I can Nyquil. It's just a little bit of antihistamine. It's baby antihistamine. Glug, glug, glug. I'm fine with it. I'm on it right now.

[John Lovett]

All right, it's time to vote. Who had the smallest complaint? I'm going to take myself out because I'm the host. We have Paul, who complained about the Ziploc closure. We have Andy, who also complained about the Ziploc closure.

[Paula Poundstone]

No, I complained about scented garbage. That was really just an add on. Yeah, that was just a piggyback.

[John Lovett]

So we have Ziploc bags, scented garbage bags.

[Paula Poundstone]

No, mine. I want the dog.

[John Lovett]

Oh, yours was the dog.

[Paula Poundstone]

I want the dog. Shit in the recycling or the yard waste.

[John Lovett]

Yes. Which was also education. And then we have Jason, who I'm gonna let you choose whether you thought T or the wheels not being invented till the late 90s was pettier. All right, who thinks the smallest complaint was Paula's? Who thinks it was Andy's?

[Paula Poundstone]

I cannot come up with small complaints. Every issue I have is huge.

[Jason Isaacs]

You carry such authority.

[John Lovett]

Whatever you say, Powerball changed hearts and minds. Or is it Jason wondering why the tea isn't hot? And the wheels weren't present till the second combo.

[Jason Isaacs]

It's never going to be small, is it? You just multiply.

[Andy Richter]

Yeah.

[John Lovett]

Wow. I have to say I think Jason takes it takes the Petty crown and that's our show. Thank you to Jason Isaacs, Paula Poundstone, Andy Richter. We'll see you next week here at dynasty. There are 633 days until the midterms. Have a great night and have a great weekend. Love it or Leave it is a crooked media production. It is written and produced by me, John Lovett and Lee Eisenberg. Kendra James is our executive producer, Bill McGrath is our producer and Kennedy Hill is our associate producer. Hallie Kiefer is our head writer, Sarah Lazarus, Jocelyn Kaufman, Peter Miller, Elaine Pierre, Will Miles and Mohammed El Sheikhi are our writers. Evan Sutton is our editor, Kyle Seglin and Charlotte Landis provide audio support. Stephen Colon is our audio engineer and Milo Kim is our videographer. Our theme song is written and performed by Shur Schur. Thanks to our designer Sammy Cadorna Reeves for creating and running all of our visuals, which you can't see because this is a podcast and your digital producers, David Tolus, Claudia Shang, Mia Kelman and Matt de Groat for filming and editing videos each week. So youo can and our production staff is proudly unionized with the Writers Guild of America.

[Andy Richter]

Easy It's Love it or leave it.

[John Lovett]

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