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- [00:00]
Jon Lovett
Love it or Leave it is brought to you by Fast Growing Trees. Did you know? Fast Growing Trees is America's largest and most trusted online nursery with thousands of trees and plants and over 2 million happy customers. They have all the plants your yard or home needs, including fruit trees, privacy trees, flowering trees, shrubs, houseplants, all grown with care and guaranteed to arrive healthy. Whatever you're looking for, Fast Growing Trees helps you find options that actually work for your climate, space and lifestyle. Fast Growing Trees makes it easy to get your dream yard. Just click, order and grow and get healthy, thriving plants delivered to your door. Their alive and thrive guarantee promises that your plants arrive happy and healthy. No green thumb required, just quality plants you can count on. Plus, get ongoing support from trained plant experts who can help you plan your landscape, choose the right plants and learn how to care for them every step of the way. We're huge fans of Fast Growing Trees. We've got great plants from Fast Growing Trees all around the office. These are trustworthy plants. These are plants you can, you know, you could watch your laptop, you know, they're plants you could, you could feel confident, you know, oh yeah, amazing plants. Spring is also here. That's the best time to plant. So get planting with Fast Growing Trees right now. They have a great deal on spring planting essentials. Up to half off on select plants and listeners to our show get 20% off their first purchase when they use code Love it at checkout. That's an additional 20% off. Better plants and better growing at fast growingtrees.com using the code love it at checkout fast growingtrees.com code love it now's the perfect time to plant. Let's grow together. It's also something we say in a different ad. Use Love it to Save today. Offers valid for a limited time. Terms and conditions may apply.
- [01:25]
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- [01:59]
Jon Lovett
Love it or Leave It. It's Love it or Leave It. Hello everybody. Welcome to Love it or Leave It. Live from Hollywood, I'm Jon Lovett. An Erawan's 6, but a Gelson's 8. We've got a great show for you tonight, but first, let's get into it. What a week. President Trump traveled to Beijing this week for a two day summit with Chinese leader Xi Jinping. Said Secretary of State Marco Rubio, before we land, sir, do you want to pull your eyelids apart and do the voice one more time just to get it out of your system? The president traveled with a crack team, including Rubio and Defense Secretary Pete Hegseth, along with Elon Musk, Tim Cook, the head of BlackRock, Brett Ratner, comedian Bert Kreischer, and conservative host Sean Hannity. Bert Kreischer wasn't on the trip. I'm making that up. Don't worry. A heartbroken. You are heartbroken. No, he's not on it. You're good, you're good, you're good. He can still be a lovable oaf. You're fine, you're safe. Trump's son Eric, a private citizen with business interests in China, is on the trip along with his wife, Lara. She posted a selfie with the gang and the caption, team China. Look at this party. I would rather be in the Donner party. I would rather be on the hantavirus cruise right now than on. That's a sincere. I would take my fucking chances on the hantavirus ship than be in this table for 12 in Beijing. This photo is the last thing a Beijing waiter sees before being sent out on a frantic search for, quote, normal food. Also accompanying Trump was Brett Ratner, the director of Rush Hour, who planned to use the trip to scout China for Rush Hour 4 locations. And this is normal. We all remember when President Obama traveled to Japan with Tom Selleck because he was pressing Jeffrey Katzenberg to fund a sequel to Mr. Baseball. Oh, you don't remember that because it's fucking insane. Do you remember Mr. Baseball, the 1992 film where Tom Selleck, a baseball player past his prime, is traded to the Chinuchi Dragons? Do you recall that? The tagline for the film was he's the biggest thing to hit Japan since Godzilla. Anyway, I cannot wait for the anti woke but pro China Rush Hour 4 where Jackie Chan saves his daughter from a Tibetan separatist working for the CIA. And then she says her pronouns and Chris Tucker says, I can't understand the words coming out of your mouth as the subject sun sets over the Forbidden City. It's gonna be beautiful. Ratner's other recent credits include the Amazon documentary Melania and an appearance in a photo from the Epstein Files. Truly disgusting as a visual. I don't even want to joke about it. And the Epstein photo is pretty bad, too. Radner is also reportedly scouting locations for The Melania sequel. Melania 2 Lost in Guangzhou.
- [05:09]
Donald Trump (Impersonation)
Now
- [05:11]
Jon Lovett
how's she gonna get home? One late addition to Trump's entourage was Jensen Huang, the CEO of Nvidia, who reportedly got a call on Tuesday morning to join the trip with less than a day's notice. Trump said it all came together at the last minute and Jensen put on a brave face, but he's always felt like he wasn't totally included in the friend group. He knows there's a group chat with Elon and Larry Fink, but Jensen talked to his therapist about, like, he could raise it. But then he's doing the thing where he brings the energy down. So he's just going to try to go on the trip and have a good time and try to get Trump and G to approve Nvidia chips being sold to China, despite the incredible risk it poses to society. In addition to AI and trade, another issue on the agenda is Iran. Here's Sean Hannity and Trump discussing it.
- [06:00]
Donald Trump (Impersonation)
China's support of Iran.
- [06:03]
Jon Lovett
How big a discussion was that today?
- [06:05]
Donald Trump (Impersonation)
We discussed it. I mean, when you say support, they're not fighting a war with us or anything. No, he said he's not going to give military equipment. That's a big statement. He said that today. That's a big statement. Said that strongly. But at the same time, he said, you know, they buy a lot of their oil there and they'd like to
- [06:23]
Jon Lovett
keep doing that, continued Trump. But get this, he gave me a fortune cookie. And the message inside said, you're doing a great job, Mr. President. Isn't that amazing? Like, what are the odds of that? Meanwhile, the New York Times reported on Wednesday that Chinese companies have been plotting to secretly sell arms to Iran. Secret arms sales to Iran. To think Reagan and Noriega are up in heaven having a big laugh about this. Wait, what are you guys doing here? Says Jimmy Carter. Yeah, God's a Republican, says Reagan. What about American politics in 2026 would suggest God isn't on our side? Good point, said Ruth Bader Ginsburg from fucking hell. At a state banquet in Beijing, Trump had nothing but nice things to say about the Chinese leader.
- [07:16]
Donald Trump (Impersonation)
We're going to have a fantastic future together. Such respect for China, the job you've done. You're a great leader. I say it to everybody. You're a great leader.
- [07:27]
Jon Lovett
And before you ask Trump, continued, putin and I have something very special but we're open. On his way into the hall, Trump was welcomed by children jumping up and down with bouquets of flowers. Wow. Trump said. I haven't seen this many performatively enthusiastic but terrified minors since. We had a long debate about what the Outlander audience that didn't know what this show was could handle. And I want everyone on this team to know that they were right there with me. They knew I was talking. They knew that I was talking about the Mickey Mouse Club. You can see why Trump was so charmed. He never gets this kind of reception at home. American children don't have the cardio stamina. On the flight over, White House communications director Steven Chung tweeted a photo of Marco Rubio posing in a gray Nike sweatsuit with the caption, secretary Rubio rocking the Nike tech Venezuela on Air Force One. Do you think they tried one like. I think they tried one where his foot was kind of, like, up like this, but even they knew he couldn't pull that off. You know, that kind of, like, model lean thing. So they just posted this one also. And I'll just say, like, this is not the most important thing, but driving and photography are the only two activities that we're all expected to do all the time without ever improving. Like, look at this fucking composition. Why are the feet cut off? Why are we angled like this? You're in communications. No one cares about this anymore. We're all taking photos all day, every day. Learn to put together a fucking shot. I'm not saying it does have. I don't. Everything doesn't have to be centered. Right. There can be angles. Make it intentional, make it deliberate. The sweatsuit is identical to the one worn by former Venezuelan President Nicolas Maduro in this January arrest photo. Exactly. Exactly. So let's look at these side by side. This is a great example of the difference between fashion and style. Sure, they're both in the same tracksuit, but Maduro actually took the time to style it with interesting accessories like a blindfold and handcuffs. It has a loose and relaxed fit. He looks comfortable in it. This is the difference between Maduro wearing a sweatsuit and a sweatsuit wearing Rubio. Speaking of people who can't see straight, William Paul, Senator Rand Paul's adult son, drunkenly confronted a Congressman, Mike Lawler, at a D.C. bar this week while Lawlor was in the middle of an interview with a political reporter. Bad luck for William, a political reporter at a bar in Washington. What are the odds? Paul told Lawlor, that if Congressman Thomas Massie loses his primary Next week it will be because of your people. Lawlor replied, my people? Paul answered, yeah. You Jews? Yes. Lawlor then asked, do you think I'm Jewish? I'm not. To which Paul responded, oh wow, I'm so sorry for calling you a Jewish. The journalist Reese Gorman from Notice, documented the entire exchange. Even though you know he was distracted by a raging scoop boner. I don't understand being so drunk that you think Mike Lawler is Jewish. I do understand being so drunk that you think Mike Lawler is Zoran Mamdani. Paul then went on what Lawler called a 10 minute tirade in which he said he hates Jews and gays, didn't care if they die. He then gave Lawler the middle finger, apologized for being really drunk, and tripped over a barstool as he left. Brutal. Almost managed to get out of there without embarrassing himself. The next day, Paul apologized. He announced he was seeking help for a drinking problem. Alcohol, of course, does not make you an anti Semite. A high APV doesn't mean Adolf by volume. Like when I drank too much in my early 20s and yelled at my ex boyfriend on the streets of dc, you're making the biggest mistake of your life. I actually did that. I actually stood outside a bar and yelled, you're making the biggest mistake of your life. Now I believe that in the moment, the six tequila sodas, I had just made it an outside thought. I also did shout that I didn't care if all the gays lived or died. But that was the hurt talking. That was. That was her talking. Speaking of painful endings, the Late show with Stephen Colbert will air its final episode next week. Very sad. It's safe to assume Colbert will launch some kind of podcast after that. And then, Stephen, you're in my house, bitch. And it's a genuine thrill to have you. Seth Meyers, John Oliver and the Jimmies, Kimmel and Fallon appeared on Colbert Monday to say goodbye. And in a gesture of late night solidarity, Kimmel and Fallon will both air reruns of on the evening of the 21st. And for those asking, I too will refrain from airing a new episode on network television that night because I have such admiration for Stephen Colbert and for no other reasons. Stephen actually had John, Tommy and I on a bunch of times and it never stopped feeling like we had won a contest or been victims of a prank. A wonderful, wonderful prank. It's a coincidence that Trump came down the escalator, actually, between Letterman's last show and Colbert's first first show. But Letterman's irony and Midwestern stoicism gave way to Colbert's more empathetic and joyful version of a late night show. At the exact moment our politics became more vicious and inhumane, we are surrounded by terrible stewards, craven people who have scraped and crawled and battled and sold their souls to win control of institutions they don't give a fuck about. That's true of Trump. We when he tears down the East Wing or tears down the barrier between the Department of Justice and the White House. It's true of members of Congress who refuse to hold Trump accountable. But it's true of corporate titans, too, like the executives who saw networks and studios and newspapers as these prestigious baubles. But when tested once they owned them, they did not understand or care why these institutions mattered in the first place. These are people who lack the respect or imagination to. To see a part of our culture as anything other than a political headache or a line on a ledger. Stephen Colbert has been a phenomenal steward, and I just want to thank Stephen for his most valuable and important act of service, putting me on television. And finally, experts are warning against a new kind of looks maxing called ball maxing. This is when men inject saline into their balls until they inflate to the size of grapefruits. First of all, who are these experts? And second, who are they to tell me what to do with my balls? Where do they get the balls? I'd rather be dead with giant balls than alive with the two Kalamata olives God gave me. But all jokes aside, men's obsession with their bodies is getting out of control. It is breaking new ground. Specifically, the sidewalk when those bad boys hit the pavement on my way to work. All right, we've got a great show for you tonight, and if he's still here, we'll be right back with Sam Heughan. Hey, don't go anywhere. There's more of Love it or leave it. Coming up. This episode is sponsored by Better Help. Life is a lot Sometimes, regardless of what's keeping you up at night or leaving you overwhelmed, it's easy to feel like you have to figure it all out on your own. But you don't have to face these challenges alone. Having someone to listen, to understand, and to support you can make all the difference. That's where better help comes in. Better Help therapists work according to a strict code of conduct and are fully licensed in the US Better Help does the initial matching work for you so you can focus on your therapy goals. A short questionnaire helps identify your needs and preferences. And their 12 plus years of experience and industry leading match fulfillment rate means they typically get it right the first time. If you aren't happy with your match, switch to a different therapist at any time from their tailored rex. With over 30,000 therapists, BetterHelp is the world's largest online therapy platform having served over 6 million people globally. And it works with an average rating of 4.5 out of 5 for a live session based on over 1.7 million client reviews. You don't have to traverse life's challenges alone. Find the personal support you're looking for in therapy. Sign up and get 10% off@betterhelp.com Love it. That's betterhelp.com Love it Love it or leave it is brought to you by Sundays when it comes to dog food, it seems like you have to make a choice. You can either have fresh and healthy or you can have easy to store and serve, never both. But you don't have to choose anymore thanks to Sundays. 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But with this you can and then. Or it's like the kibble that feels unhealthy. But this is very healthy. But it's very easy to use. So you can just, you're gonna, you know, it'll be easy to kind of continue. You know, it'll be easy to keep the, you know, keep feeding your dog the good stuff. So make the switch to Sundays. Go right now to Sundays for dogs.com love@50 and get 50% off your first order or you can use code loveit50 at checkout. That's 50% off your first order at Sundays. For dogs.com love@50 for dogs.com love@50 or use code love@50 at checkout. And we're back. Sam Heughan will be gracing our stage in just a moment. But first, Crooked con is back November 5th through 7th in Washington DC. Crookedcon comes just days after the midterms and we will have a lot to learn and a lot to do to get ready for the next two years. Will we be celebrating triumphantly? Will we be in the game Blame game to end all blame games. I'm excited to find out presale tickets for all day Crooked Con plus our live Pod Save America. Love it or leave it. And strict scrutiny kickoff shows are available right now. Somebody gasped. The presale is open to friends of the POD only. If you are not a paid subscriber and want access to the presale plus a discount on tickets, become one now. You'll get even more exclusive Pod Save America content like our exclusive podcast Only Friends open tabs, our newsletter, Dan Pfeiffer's Polar Coaster and ad free breaking news updates. Plus you're supporting independent media you can trust. Get all the info you need@crookedcon.com we cannot wait to see you there. Also Los Angeles, get tickets@crooked.com events to come see our new space for Love it or leave it and upcoming guests, including the hilarious stand ups Tig Notaro, Todd Glass, Aparna Noncharla, and many more. All right, please welcome to the stage from the incredible stars historical romance Outlander. And then because of that, from your dreams, it's the incredible Sam Heughan. Hi, nice to meet you.
- [19:31]
Sam Heughan
Thanks for being here. Thanks for having me. Hello.
- [19:35]
Jon Lovett
Is it humbling to have people wait out online to see you starting in the middle of the night?
- [19:40]
Sam Heughan
Oh, look, I think or do you
- [19:42]
Jon Lovett
know in your heart you deserve it? Yes.
- [19:45]
Sam Heughan
If you don't, you're not worthy.
- [19:46]
Jon Lovett
No, it's.
- [19:47]
Sam Heughan
It's been incredible. You know, our show Outlander has been supported by our fans for the last 12 years. Longer, really, because the books have been out much longer and our fans from the day one have been so supportive and just to see them here today, but also wherever we go, whatever we're doing, whether we're promoting the show or other projects as well, it's been incredible. So we thank them for their support. We're really, really grateful.
- [20:12]
Jon Lovett
They love you. Now, your name? Sam, after Samwise Gamgee. Oh, is that right? Well, am I falling for misinformation? No.
- [20:23]
Sam Heughan
I mean, don't believe everything you read on the Internet, but actually it is true. My mom sometimes will deny it, and sometimes we'll agree that that's true. My brother was named after an elf from Lord of the Rings. Kierdan is his name. She calls me Samwise. My name on my birth certificate is Sam. But, yeah, my parents were hippies. There was a lot of weed smoked back in those days, I think.
- [20:47]
Jon Lovett
So you're being a little bit evasive, but that's okay.
- [20:49]
Sam Heughan
It's my mom's fault.
- [20:51]
Jon Lovett
She's not clear about it.
- [20:52]
Sam Heughan
Look, if it's Christmas Day and she's had a few glasses of whiskey, she'll absolutely admit to it. But I think, yeah, I'll just. She'll be calling me later. Like, why did you say it's Samwise? It's not. It's Sam.
- [21:04]
Jon Lovett
Spoil the final episode of Outlander.
- [21:06]
Sam Heughan
Okay. The final episode, which is airing tomorrow. We are. Well, tonight. Yes. Midnight. Okay. Is it 9 here? Look, I'm still on UK time or wherever else I'm from.
- [21:23]
Jon Lovett
That's why we're all here. I gotta tell you something. Put this group of ladies in charge of the Pentagon. I feel like. Have a. A little bit of a better go of it. They're on the logistics.
- [21:35]
Sam Heughan
They are. They are. Nine o' clock tonight and I can't tell you the end. I'm sorry, I can't. But it's been very emotional. Today has been actually surprisingly emotional. We've been doing a lot of press talking about it. And I was just in the star's office and we said goodbye to everyone that's worked behind the scenes there. And I wanted to thank them, but also cast and crew. But yeah, I was teary eyed today because it's weird. It's weird after 12 years to be saying goodbye to people that you've worked
- [22:08]
Jon Lovett
with isn't like big transitions like that. There's this weird kind of quiet kind of feeling to it. You know, it's like a different kind of sadness. You know, you're not like overcome with emotion. There's like. You kind of can hear the kind of static of life a little bit more while things are ending, you know? Do you know what I'm talking about when I say that? You know what I mean? When you hear the static, it's so quiet. Like, it's super quiet, like negative quiet because something's ending.
- [22:33]
Sam Heughan
Maybe you have watched the final episode. I don't know, there is a bit of hocus pocus in there, but I think, look, I. I think it is sadness, but it's, you know, thankfulness and gratitude. You know, it's been a real moment. I have to look back to when I first came to LA and, you know, I've been coming here for years. I jobbing actor and I went everywhere by bus. I couldn't drive. I went to my auditions, you know, sitting on the back of the bus with piles of scripts and I never in my water's dreams, I imagined or had a fantasy about being in a show like this. But to actually it, for it to come to fruition has been really incredible.
- [23:10]
Jon Lovett
Did you ever get a driver's license?
- [23:12]
Sam Heughan
Oh, I now can drive, apparently.
- [23:14]
Jon Lovett
Oh, cool.
- [23:15]
Sam Heughan
Yeah, yeah, actually, I drive a motorbike here, which is the way to go. There's never traffic on a motorbike.
- [23:20]
Jon Lovett
Are you an organ donor?
- [23:22]
Sam Heughan
Yes. You will. You will have all my organs.
- [23:25]
Jon Lovett
I find I'm fine. As long as you check that box.
- [23:27]
Sam Heughan
Yeah.
- [23:29]
Jon Lovett
Is that too much?
- [23:30]
Sam Heughan
Thanks.
- [23:31]
Jon Lovett
How many people here are angry to learn that he's riding around on a motorcycle? Wow.
- [23:37]
Sam Heughan
One.
- [23:37]
Jon Lovett
God. Yeah.
- [23:39]
Sam Heughan
Thank you.
- [23:39]
Jon Lovett
You support riding a motorcycle.
- [23:42]
Sam Heughan
They all want some organs because he looks hot. Wow. Ride fast, die young. Right.
- [23:49]
Jon Lovett
Ok, so you recently recorded.
- [23:52]
Sam Heughan
Yes.
- [23:53]
Jon Lovett
As a. You voiced a Scottish groundkeeper in a romance called Three Days in Gall for the Quinn Audio erotica app. Have you ever masturbated to an audiobook?
- [24:06]
Sam Heughan
Only my own. Oh, have you?
- [24:09]
Jon Lovett
No.
- [24:09]
Caitlin Riley
No.
- [24:09]
Jon Lovett
I sincerely. No. You will. And I will. I haven't had the pleasure. I've never ever thought to try. I would admit if I have. I don't think there's any shame in it. I'm just sort of an interesting. This is not how I use audible, you know.
- [24:21]
Sam Heughan
Yeah. This is a podcast, isn't it? So I wonder if anyone ever masturbated to love it. I don't know. It's always a first, Right?
- [24:34]
Jon Lovett
Yeah. The question is, is there anyone out there who loves the sound of my own voice more than I do? What kind of erotic character do you think I could voice?
- [24:43]
Sam Heughan
Ah, now we're talking. Well, if I'm the groundskeeper, then. I don't know. You're like the gardener. I don't know. Wow. Yeah, yeah, yeah.
- [24:55]
Jon Lovett
You know, or the sh. Yeah, I can pick them. That's good. It's like, boy, it's hot out here. One of us should probably take our clothes off.
- [25:03]
Sam Heughan
Yeah, it's pretty much how it goes.
- [25:05]
Jon Lovett
Pretty much how it goes all Right. Sam, you are handsome man who plays an even more handsome one on tv. Obviously, you've read thirst tweets about yourself before, but tonight we want to put a spin on an old classic in a segment we're calling Two Sex Symbols. Hear from their biggest fans. Here's how it works. Which one I prefer? I'm going to read comments we found about you online, and you're going to read comments we found about me online. Okay, just to note, these comments genuinely represent, on average, the comments we are both getting. Our first comment is from Reddit. Is it normal for me to dream about one person that I will never meet? Apart from his good looks, he seems like a sweet person. Love his smile.
- [25:52]
Sam Heughan
Oh, that's lovely. On what? Reddit. Does anyone use that?
- [25:56]
Jon Lovett
Yeah.
- [25:57]
Sam Heughan
Okay, yeah. Comment about Lovett over on Twitter. It used to be a fun place. Someone had to say this. John Lovett, honestly, crazy how talentless you are. Keep shooting for the stars, little buddy. Harsh.
- [26:16]
Jon Lovett
Rooting for me. This one's from Instagram. About your Quinn story. I'm sorry, I can't hear you, Sam Heughan. My ovaries are clapping so loudly. Nice. Clap, clap, clap. Emoji.
- [26:28]
Donald Trump (Impersonation)
Wow.
- [26:29]
Sam Heughan
What does that actually sound like? Someone said this about Lovett on Reddit. The whole reason I like Lovett is the easy to push around energy he puts out.
- [26:42]
Jon Lovett
Aw.
- [26:42]
Sam Heughan
Now he's like, sorry for you.
- [26:44]
Jon Lovett
Yeah. Here's a nice sentiment from Twitter. Sam Heughan could read me a Japanese toilet brochure and I'd still get wet. Wink.
- [26:55]
Sam Heughan
A Japanese toilet brochure. Brochure. Yeah.
- [26:58]
Jon Lovett
Which would presumably just be the same as a brochure in any language, but just in Japanese.
- [27:02]
Sam Heughan
Yeah. Or is it. No, a Japanese toilet. Because they.
- [27:04]
Jon Lovett
Oh, it could be a Japanese toilet brochure.
- [27:06]
Sam Heughan
Yeah. Because they wash it. I love them.
- [27:08]
Jon Lovett
Oh, fantastic. Life changing.
- [27:10]
Sam Heughan
Yeah.
- [27:10]
Jon Lovett
We could talk about. I could talk about it all day.
- [27:11]
Sam Heughan
Yeah.
- [27:11]
Jon Lovett
I've given them as gifts.
- [27:12]
Sam Heughan
I've got several. Not from you, but I have.
- [27:14]
Jon Lovett
Right. I think it's a little bit of an intimate. That's really.
- [27:18]
Sam Heughan
That's a wonderful.
- [27:19]
Jon Lovett
No, not the full toilet like that. The one you put on the. Like the replacement lid for someone with already a toilet. It's a very interesting gift to someone because it's like, here, this is a present for you to use, you know, when you're in repose. But the. But. But it's life changing, I find. You know, people think it doesn't just make a good day a little bit better, it turns a terrible Day into a fine day.
- [27:39]
Sam Heughan
A very clean day. Yeah, I mean, when I was in Japan, I spent hours on one. It would, like massage you. You could like, watch tv. It like blows a little air.
- [27:50]
Jon Lovett
My favorite part is how it washes my.
- [27:53]
Sam Heughan
Oh, yeah. Well, it does that too.
- [27:57]
Jon Lovett
Cheers. Little applause from pockets of pockets of true believers.
- [28:03]
Sam Heughan
So I have another one here watching this on YouTube. Lovett is my favorite of the PSA guys, but dude needs to really back off on the Botox. It's hard. He's carries on to be a comedian. If half your face doesn't move, that is. Which half? Left or right?
- [28:24]
Jon Lovett
That's so unfair. Look at how angry I can look. It's got like a. I got a tiny bit of Botox one time and these fucking assholes come out of the woodwork.
- [28:33]
Sam Heughan
But wait, I see wrinkles there.
- [28:35]
Jon Lovett
Yeah, there are wrinkles there. Puing. Unbelievable. Yeah, there are wrinkles there. All right, here's another one. This is from YouTube. One of the most handsome men in the world. I read all the Outlander books before watching the show and I have to say that Sam is, for the first time ever in my life, the perfect fit for a character in a book I've read. It's like they pulled him out of my imagination and cast him. I drooled through the whole show. Not lying.
- [29:03]
Sam Heughan
This is unfair. He's part Pokemon and there's no and. There's nothing wrong with that. I'm low key excited to see his next form though. This comment is on Reddit's post titled Does John Lovett have Tourette's?
- [29:20]
Jon Lovett
Don't. Wouldn't mind if I did. Nothing wrong with it. Nothing wrong with it. Finally.
- [29:26]
Sam Heughan
Love. It is just a fathead wanting the life. Do people really hate you? What's going on?
- [29:32]
Jon Lovett
People do that one I now will remember forever. Love. It is just a fat head wanting the life. That is like a poem. That's beautiful. Fuck. This one's from YouTube. Sam Heughan for the new James Bond.
- [29:48]
Sam Heughan
Now this one, my last one here says re Survivor. So they got the least fuckable person of an already largely unfuckable podcast group.
- [30:00]
Jon Lovett
Wow. Tommy, John and Dan caught some strays on that one.
- [30:05]
Sam Heughan
You were voted off first.
- [30:06]
Jon Lovett
I was voted off first.
- [30:07]
Sam Heughan
Sorry to bring that up.
- [30:08]
Jon Lovett
No, no, it's fine. I'm fine about it.
- [30:10]
Sam Heughan
Yeah. Would you go back?
- [30:15]
Jon Lovett
Yeah, yeah, I would go back because I don't feel as though I. I don't feel as though I screwed up the experience. I feel like I didn't get the experience because I only missed the three dinners, you know, you can't only miss three dinners. They brought out the scale to weigh me at the end. It was like I didn't lose that much weight. I.
- [30:31]
Sam Heughan
So you just went there for.
- [30:33]
Jon Lovett
Yeah, it was just sort of a. Kind of a. Kind of a stupid detox, you know?
- [30:36]
Sam Heughan
Yeah, yeah. It's a long way to go for that, but I hear you. Let's vote you back on. Either that or maybe you could be like, I don't know, the next mayor of. What is it you guys are having soon? The mayor of California.
- [30:47]
Jon Lovett
Yeah. Mayor of Los Angeles.
- [30:48]
Sam Heughan
Los Angeles.
- [30:49]
Jon Lovett
Yeah. Right. No, that would be such a fun job for me, for sure.
- [30:52]
Sam Heughan
Until they vote you off.
- [30:53]
Jon Lovett
Until. Yeah, I feel like. I feel like I'd have the same electoral problems as I did in tribal council. All right, Sam, thank you so much. It's been so fun. The final season of Outlander is now available only on Starz. When we come back, Caitlin Riley.
- [31:09]
Sam Heughan
Oh, come on.
- [31:13]
Jon Lovett
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- [34:12]
Sam Heughan
Hi.
- [34:13]
Jon Lovett
Hello.
- [34:13]
Sam Heughan
How are you? Welcome to the couch.
- [34:17]
Caitlin Riley
Hello.
- [34:17]
Jon Lovett
Hi, Galen. Good to see you.
- [34:19]
Caitlin Riley
Good to see you too, John. It's John, right?
- [34:22]
Jon Lovett
Yeah, it's John.
- [34:22]
Caitlin Riley
You got it, Sam.
- [34:24]
Sam Heughan
Yes.
- [34:24]
Jon Lovett
Okay.
- [34:25]
Sam Heughan
Yes.
- [34:25]
Jon Lovett
You are in season two of Hacks.
- [34:26]
Caitlin Riley
Yeah.
- [34:27]
Jon Lovett
And now you're back in season five.
- [34:29]
Caitlin Riley
Yeah. Can you believe it?
- [34:30]
Jon Lovett
How'd you. What happened in the interregnum? How'd you get back on?
- [34:33]
Caitlin Riley
I bullied the creators of the show after I was in season two to have me back, and they listened, so.
- [34:42]
Jon Lovett
Yeah, that's cool.
- [34:44]
Caitlin Riley
Thank you, guys. Thank you so much.
- [34:46]
Jon Lovett
And you were saying you wrote a note and then wrapped it on a brick and then threw it.
- [34:51]
Caitlin Riley
Yeah, I showed up to their house. They kept bringing the doorbell, and then I'd hide behind a bush and.
- [34:55]
Jon Lovett
Right.
- [34:55]
Caitlin Riley
People.
- [34:56]
Jon Lovett
You know what? People don't know what it takes anymore.
- [34:58]
Caitlin Riley
No, they don't know what it takes.
- [34:59]
Sam Heughan
The best way, isn't it?
- [35:00]
Caitlin Riley
Yeah, yeah. To make it in Hollywood.
- [35:03]
Sam Heughan
Yeah, yeah, I think so.
- [35:04]
Caitlin Riley
Yeah, absolutely. But no, I would see Paul Downs and Lucci Aniello or Jan Staski as well, are the creators of the show. And so whenever I would see them at an event, I'd be like, list, listen, you guys should really, like, have me back. Right. And they would politely be like, oh, yeah, okay. And then beeline to the other end of the party. But they listened. They brought me back.
- [35:27]
Jon Lovett
So that's cool.
- [35:28]
Caitlin Riley
Yeah. Lucky me.
- [35:29]
Jon Lovett
It's important to really bully people.
- [35:31]
Caitlin Riley
Yeah.
- [35:32]
Jon Lovett
Get what you want. Whatever. It's a good lesson. It's a good lesson. Now, you are known to a lot of people as someone who makes incredibly funny videos on TikTok John style. You do these amazing impressions. You have a rock solid Australian accent.
- [35:47]
Caitlin Riley
Sam and I just shared.
- [35:48]
Sam Heughan
It's hard, isn't it?
- [35:49]
Caitlin Riley
It's so easy for me.
- [35:50]
Jon Lovett
Really.
- [35:51]
Sam Heughan
Yeah, I find it really hard. Australia.
- [35:53]
Caitlin Riley
No, it's really easy for me.
- [35:54]
Sam Heughan
Wow.
- [35:55]
Caitlin Riley
Yeah.
- [35:56]
Jon Lovett
Sorry.
- [35:57]
Sam Heughan
Carry on.
- [35:57]
Jon Lovett
No, no, I'm curious about. So what accents do you struggle with?
- [36:01]
Sam Heughan
Because all of them, really. Even my own, I think.
- [36:05]
Jon Lovett
Well, so. Because a lot of Australians find it easy to do an American accent, and then there are kind of British actors that I find they can do an American accent, but then they are playing the character of the American accent where really the best they can do is make their mouth in the shape of an American, and then it just is pretty. That's it. Like, it's like we have to do surgery on them. Oh, no. I'm afraid the barbecue isn't going to be ready in time.
- [36:31]
Caitlin Riley
Where is my mother?
- [36:33]
Jon Lovett
Yeah, yeah, that's what they think.
- [36:34]
Caitlin Riley
They just start to sound like Siri a little bit.
- [36:35]
Sam Heughan
That's so funny.
- [36:36]
Caitlin Riley
Can you do. Do it right now? Do it right now.
- [36:38]
Sam Heughan
Oh, God. What actually is even better is Americans doing British or even Scottish. Scottish is really.
- [36:44]
Caitlin Riley
Scottish is really hard.
- [36:45]
Sam Heughan
Because it's hard, right?
- [36:45]
Caitlin Riley
Yeah.
- [36:46]
Sam Heughan
And. And we use all the sounds in the mouth, and I think that's really fun to hear Americans because it can go anywhere. It normally ends up sounding sort of. I know, Indian or something, doesn't it?
- [36:54]
Jon Lovett
Oh, yeah.
- [36:55]
Caitlin Riley
Oh, wow.
- [36:56]
Sam Heughan
I mean, all my accents kind of end up sounding Indian.
- [36:59]
Caitlin Riley
Racist.
- [37:02]
Sam Heughan
Hey, at least there's one country that, like, really likes my accents.
- [37:05]
Jon Lovett
Yeah, there's one country that likes your accents.
- [37:07]
Caitlin Riley
Can you do your American accent right now? Can you say, we have to go to the store now?
- [37:11]
Sam Heughan
If you do it in Scottish.
- [37:13]
Caitlin Riley
Okay, you go first.
- [37:14]
Sam Heughan
You go first.
- [37:15]
Caitlin Riley
No, you go first.
- [37:15]
Sam Heughan
At the same time.
- [37:16]
MyFico Announcer
I asked.
- [37:17]
Sam Heughan
Do it at the same time.
- [37:18]
Caitlin Riley
Okay.
- [37:19]
Jon Lovett
Well, that doesn't make sense.
- [37:19]
Caitlin Riley
Okay. Okay, you all. I'll go first. I'll do my Scottish. We have to go to the store. Thank you.
- [37:34]
Sam Heughan
Yeah, it was, like, kind of northern English, like kind of a little bit London, but it. It.
- [37:40]
Caitlin Riley
I wasn't asking for notes. But you.
- [37:41]
Sam Heughan
No, no, no.
- [37:42]
Jon Lovett
But I. You just.
- [37:43]
Caitlin Riley
You just do yours.
- [37:44]
Sam Heughan
What I'm trying to say is you're.
- [37:45]
Caitlin Riley
Don't deflect.
- [37:46]
Sam Heughan
You're moving your way further north.
- [37:49]
Jon Lovett
You're on your way.
- [37:50]
Sam Heughan
You're getting close to Scotland. Okay, and what am I saying?
- [37:54]
Caitlin Riley
And so we have to go to the store now.
- [37:55]
Sam Heughan
I have to go to the store now.
- [37:57]
Caitlin Riley
Okay.
- [37:59]
Sam Heughan
Okay. Yeah, it's like British meets, I don't know, Mid Atlantic, maybe.
- [38:04]
Caitlin Riley
Mid Atlantic, Yeah.
- [38:06]
Jon Lovett
News from the front. We have to go to the store.
- [38:09]
Caitlin Riley
Yeah, right.
- [38:09]
Sam Heughan
Actually, that was good British. Yeah.
- [38:12]
Jon Lovett
Was that good British?
- [38:13]
Caitlin Riley
That was Mid Atlantic. You're wrong. That was Mid Atlantic.
- [38:16]
Jon Lovett
News from the front. We've got the Kaiser on the run.
- [38:19]
Caitlin Riley
It's however. Catherine Heavens.
- [38:22]
Jon Lovett
Yeah, that's the Mid Atlantic.
- [38:23]
Caitlin Riley
It's like this radio. Yeah, it's like the radio would talk like that.
- [38:25]
Jon Lovett
It's like, let's turn on the radio, find out what's going on with our boys over there.
- [38:29]
Caitlin Riley
Yeah.
- [38:30]
Jon Lovett
Yes.
- [38:32]
Caitlin Riley
Yeah. Don't clap for him.
- [38:36]
Sam Heughan
Bullying. I like it.
- [38:37]
Caitlin Riley
Yeah.
- [38:37]
Sam Heughan
Yeah, I see. It works.
- [38:39]
Caitlin Riley
I'm the only woman here, so.
- [38:40]
Sam Heughan
Yeah.
- [38:42]
Jon Lovett
Now you've watched Sam at work in Outlander. Let's admit it. Let's admit it. You're a fan.
- [38:49]
Sam Heughan
That's not.
- [38:49]
Caitlin Riley
No, I wouldn't say a fan. I have witnessed his work. Yes.
- [38:57]
Jon Lovett
I feel like I swear to God, I feel like Caitlin read the literal book, the game before coming out here. And you're peacocking with the dress. You're being negged, right? It's like. And then you're, like, gonna leave me. Like, did he look back when I left or. You have to just.
- [39:11]
Caitlin Riley
Is he looking at me right now?
- [39:13]
Sam Heughan
No,
- [39:16]
Jon Lovett
it's pretty cool.
- [39:17]
Caitlin Riley
Crazy.
- [39:17]
Jon Lovett
It's cool to watch it work.
- [39:18]
Caitlin Riley
Yeah. No, I don't. I mean, I know that you're. I've seen you, like, around, so.
- [39:27]
Sam Heughan
It's the eye contact I like.
- [39:28]
Caitlin Riley
Yeah, yeah.
- [39:29]
Sam Heughan
Your eyes are, like, kind of amazing. They're like bluey green.
- [39:33]
Caitlin Riley
Oh, my God, thank you so much. That's so crazy. It's just like, it's hereditary, so.
- [39:38]
Sam Heughan
Yeah.
- [39:38]
Caitlin Riley
My mom's eyes were blue like yours. I'm from here, actually. Oh, really? But like, where are you from?
- [39:45]
Sam Heughan
North England. Like.
- [39:46]
Caitlin Riley
No, like here in la.
- [39:47]
Jon Lovett
Oh, right on.
- [39:47]
Caitlin Riley
You're so silly. You don't listen.
- [39:51]
Jon Lovett
Okay, back to me. Have you ever been to Scotland? No, never been.
- [39:57]
Caitlin Riley
We're gonna go for Thanksgiving.
- [39:58]
Sam Heughan
We are?
- [39:59]
Caitlin Riley
Yeah.
- [39:59]
Sam Heughan
The whole family are.
- [40:00]
Caitlin Riley
The whole family's gonna go.
- [40:01]
Jon Lovett
You're gonna. Yeah, let's just play that. You're going to Scotland for what holiday?
- [40:05]
Caitlin Riley
Thanksgiving. American Thanksgiving.
- [40:09]
Jon Lovett
But you did go to Ireland?
- [40:10]
Caitlin Riley
I did go to Ireland, yes. Which is the closest thing to Scotland for me. Right.
- [40:16]
Sam Heughan
It's close.
- [40:16]
Caitlin Riley
It's pretty close.
- [40:17]
Sam Heughan
Yeah.
- [40:17]
Caitlin Riley
It's the same.
- [40:18]
Sam Heughan
We have a lot of.
- [40:19]
Caitlin Riley
It's pretty close. It's pretty similar.
- [40:20]
Sam Heughan
Well, yeah.
- [40:21]
Caitlin Riley
Guys, stop. Yes, I did go to Ireland and I spent four days in a van with these. They're just like. I mean, they're my in laws, but they're just like people. Like, it's not like. It's not a big thing.
- [40:35]
Sam Heughan
Wait, your in laws?
- [40:36]
Caitlin Riley
No, it's not. I'm married. But it's not like. It's like. It's fine.
- [40:39]
Sam Heughan
It's just gonna be.
- [40:40]
Caitlin Riley
It's okay. I am married. It's okay. It's not a big deal. But yes, I did go with my. My husband's gonna see this and be like, I'm leaving you. I did. I went to Ireland. I spent four days in a van. My mother in law is.
- [41:02]
Sam Heughan
Well, my husband's like, voluntarily or.
- [41:04]
Caitlin Riley
Well, so my. My in laws are from Texas, but they're like, just good down home people. And my mother in law is like, I wanna do the tours, you know, go to the Cliffs of Mohair. So she put us in a tourist van and so I met them there. Because I was actually. I had to go to the premiere for Hacks because I'm a working actress. And so I met my in laws in Ireland and was in a van for four days. And by the fourth day I was like, get me the out of here. And so I did not go to the Cliffs of Mohair, which my mother in law is still very upset about.
- [41:47]
Sam Heughan
But are they still there, like looking
- [41:48]
Caitlin Riley
for you for cliffs?
- [41:49]
Jon Lovett
No.
- [41:50]
Sam Heughan
Your in laws?
- [41:56]
Caitlin Riley
No, no, they're not. No, they're like in. They're in. I never talk to them, so it's like I don't even know who they are.
- [42:06]
Sam Heughan
I live alone nearby, I think you said very close.
- [42:10]
Caitlin Riley
Yeah. If you want to see.
- [42:15]
Jon Lovett
So our producer, Kendra, she told me about this Scottish soda called Iron Brew. Yeah. And I wanted us to try it before we play our next game. Sam, you're a huge fan of Iron Brew, is that right, Caitlin?
- [42:26]
Sam Heughan
Well, it is the national drink. After whiskey, it is the most popular drink in Scotland. Everywhere else, it's Coca Cola. But this is the most popular drink in Scotland.
- [42:36]
Jon Lovett
This is the most popular drink in Scotland.
- [42:37]
Sam Heughan
And it's. It is. No one knows really what it's made of. Oh, it. It is basically sugar. Yes. And when they tried to change the recipe to less sugar, the. There was a public outcry because the Scottish people want their sugar.
- [42:51]
Caitlin Riley
Wow.
- [42:51]
Jon Lovett
Sugar.
- [42:52]
Sam Heughan
We want sugar.
- [42:53]
Caitlin Riley
Sugar, sugar, sugar.
- [42:55]
Sam Heughan
Roll your tongue. Go on.
- [42:57]
Jon Lovett
Yeah, that's good. I'm kidding.
- [43:00]
Caitlin Riley
Oh, wow. So I'm gonna be a high maintenance girly girl for a second. Girly pop. I can't drink this because it has caffeine.
- [43:07]
Sam Heughan
No, it doesn't.
- [43:08]
Jon Lovett
It does.
- [43:08]
Caitlin Riley
It actually says it does.
- [43:09]
Sam Heughan
Does it?
- [43:10]
Caitlin Riley
Yeah.
- [43:10]
Sam Heughan
I never knew that.
- [43:11]
Caitlin Riley
So it's like a cup of coffee.
- [43:13]
Jon Lovett
I will tell. I've just tasted it and.
- [43:15]
Caitlin Riley
Just explain it to me.
- [43:16]
Jon Lovett
Yeah. You remember the. What if somebody carbonated the bubble gum in the middle of a Tootsie Pop? Well, no.
- [43:23]
Sam Heughan
Wait, what?
- [43:24]
Jon Lovett
No Blow Pop?
- [43:25]
Caitlin Riley
The Tootsie Roll? No.
- [43:26]
Jon Lovett
Tootsie Roll Pop. Blow Pops. Had the gum.
- [43:29]
Donald Trump (Impersonation)
That's really good.
- [43:29]
Sam Heughan
Yeah.
- [43:30]
Jon Lovett
This is an insane thing for people to be drinking.
- [43:33]
Sam Heughan
It's normally a hangover cure. Oh, yeah.
- [43:37]
Jon Lovett
Interesting.
- [43:38]
Sam Heughan
Yes, interesting is the word. But we call it juice in Scotland as well.
- [43:43]
Jon Lovett
And you guys have heard of, like, Coca Cola?
- [43:45]
Sam Heughan
Yeah, but we don't drink that.
- [43:48]
Caitlin Riley
I don't drink Coca Cola either.
- [43:50]
Sam Heughan
No, no, I dry just.
- [43:52]
Caitlin Riley
Yeah. Sassenac, right? Yeah, I drink it every day.
- [43:55]
Sam Heughan
Yeah.
- [43:56]
Caitlin Riley
Yeah. I had no idea that you were involved though. But
- [44:00]
Jon Lovett
we'll be Right back.
- [44:01]
Caitlin Riley
Okay.
- [44:03]
Jon Lovett
Hey, don't go anywhere. There's more of Love it or Leave it coming up. Love it or Leave it is brought to you by Willy's Remedy. I love it. I really do. I'm a huge fan of Willy's Remedy. How does it make me feel? It makes me feel good. Yesterday I had a we did a Love it or leave it taping. Then I had to meet with a wedding planner at night and it was like lit and I was like, you know what? My brain won't turn off. But you know what? I'm gonna call my friend Willie Nelson and he's gonna hit me in the head with a goddamn fun hammer. You know what I mean? It's a premium THC infused social tonic crafted by the legendary Willie Nelson. He's in there with the beakers and the Bunsen burners, couple of fucking goggles on. He's got that chemical shower just in case something goes wrong. That's what Willie Nelson is doing. His goddamn scientist. You know what? Maybe not. He's a miracle worker. It's low calorie, low sugar alternative to alcohol that actually works. It's fast acting euphoric social buzz without the regrets that come with alcohol. It comes in 5 milligrams and 10 milligram doses. I use the 5 milligram lightweight. It's a best in class flavor experience. Smooth and balanced. You barely realize you're drinking a THC product at all. You can enjoy the tonics as a shot, sipped over ice or mixed into your favorite mocktail. Willy's unique blend of thc, cbd, CBG and L theanine delivers a feeling of calm clarity and euphoria and relaxation. One shot of Willy's helps you relax, unwind and de stress. It's perfect for taking the edge off at the end of a long day or socializing with friends. Willy's offers the kind of feeling that makes good company even better. Willys sold out three times in the first six months with over 50,000 plus happy customers and they just restocked. Willy ships directly to your doorstep in 40 plus states. Sincerely, I don't if I like I Willies is my go. Like if I'm ever going to have any kind of like an edible thing, I'm going for the willies. We got the willies at the house. I put it in the bar actually and it looks, the bottle looks cool. It's a cool bottle. Order now@drink willys.com use code lowly for 20% off your first order plus free shipping on orders of over $95. And enjoy life in the high country. That's drink willys.com and use code L, O, L I. And we're back. Outlander is coming to an end, but our love of time travel lives on, which is why it's time for a segment we're calling time of your life.
- [46:11]
Sam Heughan
Ooh.
- [46:12]
Jon Lovett
Okay.
- [46:12]
Caitlin Riley
Love that.
- [46:13]
Jon Lovett
I'm going to give you two people, one from the past and one from the present, and you'll tell us which one you'd rather be.
- [46:21]
Caitlin Riley
Am I also playing?
- [46:22]
Jon Lovett
Yeah.
- [46:22]
Caitlin Riley
Okay, great.
- [46:24]
Sam Heughan
Can we choose different ones or. Yeah, I know it sounds really complicated. I'm already confused.
- [46:29]
Jon Lovett
But here's the thing. Here's the thing. The stakes here are on the ground which of these two time. Which of these period. Oh, sorry.
- [46:40]
Sam Heughan
How do you win?
- [46:42]
Jon Lovett
I decide who wins.
- [46:43]
Sam Heughan
Okay.
- [46:44]
Caitlin Riley
Can I get nominated for an Emmy from this.
- [46:50]
Jon Lovett
Right now? You can't.
- [46:51]
Caitlin Riley
Okay.
- [46:52]
Jon Lovett
But I would say within the next five years as. As TV goes like this and reaches whatever this is, Right? Yes.
- [47:01]
Caitlin Riley
Okay. You're going down. You're going down.
- [47:03]
Sam Heughan
Is that because podcasts are going like this?
- [47:05]
Jon Lovett
No, no, no, no.
- [47:06]
Sam Heughan
This isn't a podcast.
- [47:07]
Jon Lovett
No, no, no. Podcasts are not going up. We are staying where we are. Well, what are you doing? All the other industries are lowering to
- [47:15]
Sam Heughan
meet us to your level.
- [47:16]
Jon Lovett
Yes, that's what's happening. It's beautiful. Would you rather wake up a 13th century Russian lord or be an associate director of marketing for Netflix's podcasting department today? Now, as a Russian lord.
- [47:33]
Caitlin Riley
Wow.
- [47:33]
Jon Lovett
You have access to all the spices available in Russia, which are salt and dill.
- [47:38]
Caitlin Riley
I love dill pickles.
- [47:40]
Sam Heughan
You can make pickles, right?
- [47:41]
Caitlin Riley
I love pickles.
- [47:42]
Sam Heughan
I love pickles.
- [47:42]
Caitlin Riley
It's so crazy. I had a pickle today, actually.
- [47:45]
Jon Lovett
You did?
- [47:46]
Caitlin Riley
I did, yeah.
- [47:47]
Sam Heughan
Was it a big pickle or.
- [47:49]
Caitlin Riley
It was pretty big. It was pretty big. I can eat a big pickle
- [47:55]
Jon Lovett
now. If you work at Netflix, you have dental insurance and dentists, flush toilets. You know, you have computers and air conditioning. But the Russian lord gets to be a Russian lord, though. If you cut your finger, you die.
- [48:09]
Caitlin Riley
Can I ask a question? Sure. What are they? A lord of a manor. Like a castle.
- [48:14]
Jon Lovett
Like a feudal manor.
- [48:15]
Caitlin Riley
Okay.
- [48:16]
Jon Lovett
So they have serfs.
- [48:17]
Caitlin Riley
Okay. Okay. So I would love to be a Russian lord.
- [48:22]
Sam Heughan
Yeah.
- [48:23]
Caitlin Riley
I want to sort of like, be the head of a household.
- [48:26]
Sam Heughan
Right.
- [48:27]
Caitlin Riley
I'm kind of like an entrepreneur myself. Sure, yeah. Kind of like girl. Bob, look at the outfit.
- [48:33]
Sam Heughan
It's pretty spectacular.
- [48:35]
Caitlin Riley
Yeah. Mine.
- [48:36]
Jon Lovett
Yours too.
- [48:38]
Caitlin Riley
Yeah, yeah, yeah. No that's cool, too.
- [48:45]
Jon Lovett
I'm gonna need an answer.
- [48:46]
Caitlin Riley
Okay.
- [48:47]
Jon Lovett
We'll both be the Lord Yeah.
- [48:48]
Caitlin Riley
We're both so similar we'll both be
- [48:50]
Sam Heughan
the Lord we're so similar.
- [48:51]
Caitlin Riley
Yeah.
- [48:52]
Jon Lovett
Next up, would you rather be a wealthy merchant on the Silk Road during the Han dynasty or a moderately successful YouTube makeup influencer now? In the past, you can exchange silk and spices and dyes for horses, wine, honey, and gold along the 4,000 miles of Asian trade routes, creating the foundations of modern commerce.
- [49:16]
Caitlin Riley
That sounds exhausting.
- [49:17]
Sam Heughan
Yeah, it's a lot of work.
- [49:18]
Jon Lovett
As a modern YouTube influencer, you can kind of get a lot of free stuff in the mail. It's not so much work, not as much travel, and you have vaccines.
- [49:27]
Caitlin Riley
I would have to say I would like to be a YouTube beauty influencer. I feel like that's a really good, cushy life. You get canceled, you bounce back, you know?
- [49:38]
Jon Lovett
Yeah, no, I. Yeah. And I don't think it's soulless or anything.
- [49:42]
Caitlin Riley
No, it's not soulless at all.
- [49:43]
Jon Lovett
No, it's cool.
- [49:44]
Caitlin Riley
I mean, they're doing a service. They're teaching people how to do makeup, right?
- [49:48]
Jon Lovett
Yeah, I'm into it.
- [49:49]
Caitlin Riley
Yeah.
- [49:49]
Sam Heughan
Do you do your own makeup?
- [49:52]
Caitlin Riley
Yeah, I do. I do do my own. Do you like it?
- [49:56]
Sam Heughan
That's great.
- [49:56]
Caitlin Riley
Thank you.
- [49:58]
Jon Lovett
Would you rather be a mathematician in the Islamic golden age or Travis? Kelsey.
- [50:06]
Sam Heughan
They look really similar.
- [50:07]
Caitlin Riley
They do look really similar.
- [50:09]
Jon Lovett
They do look similar. They do look similar.
- [50:11]
Sam Heughan
I think I want to be Kelsey.
- [50:13]
Jon Lovett
Yeah, yeah, yeah. Now you do. Would miss the chance to synthesize Greek and Hindu scholarship in order to unlock.
- [50:20]
Sam Heughan
But you get to get to Taylor Swift if you're Kelsey.
- [50:23]
Jon Lovett
Right, right. That's true.
- [50:24]
Sam Heughan
Sorry, I. No, she's great. She's great.
- [50:27]
Caitlin Riley
Oh, no, I'm not a swiftie.
- [50:28]
Sam Heughan
No, I'm not either.
- [50:30]
Caitlin Riley
Yeah, I have him wrapped around my fucking finger, I swear to God. Did you see that?
- [50:37]
Jon Lovett
Do you see what's happening here?
- [50:38]
Caitlin Riley
Do you see what's going on? He literally is wrapped around.
- [50:41]
Jon Lovett
It's crazy. It's crazy. When did the golden retriever get here? You know what I mean?
- [50:46]
Caitlin Riley
Literally, he's a toss up to me.
- [50:47]
Jon Lovett
You know what I'm saying?
- [50:48]
Caitlin Riley
It's crazy.
- [50:49]
Jon Lovett
Kelsey.
- [50:49]
Sam Heughan
I'll be Kelsey.
- [50:50]
Caitlin Riley
Great. What was the first one?
- [50:53]
Jon Lovett
It was a mathematician in the Islamic golden age.
- [50:57]
Caitlin Riley
Okay, watch this. I would be the mathematician.
- [51:06]
Sam Heughan
Why would you be the mathematician?
- [51:08]
Caitlin Riley
Just because I think it's different.
- [51:14]
Sam Heughan
Yeah, no, I'm gonna stick with Taylor Swift.
- [51:16]
Caitlin Riley
Great.
- [51:18]
Sam Heughan
This is not gonna work. It's not gonna work.
- [51:22]
Caitlin Riley
I'm playing hard to get.
- [51:23]
Sam Heughan
Oh, sorry. Okay. Red. Yeah. Mathematician.
- [51:27]
Caitlin Riley
Men give up so easily these days. It's incredible.
- [51:30]
Jon Lovett
You got em.
- [51:31]
Caitlin Riley
Yeah.
- [51:32]
Jon Lovett
Would you Rather be an 18th century French Countess during the baroque era or a phlebotomist living in Baltimore right now? So now on the one end, you get pastries.
- [51:45]
Caitlin Riley
Yeah.
- [51:46]
Jon Lovett
You did have to marry your cousin. And at some point in the next decade, you will have to run from your home to escape the reign of terror. But you make it and end up living a small life in a village outside of Aix en Provence.
- [51:56]
Caitlin Riley
Okay, so that sounds like heaven to me. And I did have a crush on my cousin when I was six.
- [52:01]
Jon Lovett
Axiom.
- [52:02]
Sam Heughan
Provence. They do really good wine as well.
- [52:03]
Caitlin Riley
Oh, really?
- [52:04]
Sam Heughan
Yeah. Okay, so great. Yeah, yeah, we'll go there.
- [52:07]
Caitlin Riley
Great.
- [52:07]
Jon Lovett
Yeah. But.
- [52:08]
Caitlin Riley
But we're making the decisions together.
- [52:10]
Sam Heughan
Yeah. This is a unified effort.
- [52:11]
Caitlin Riley
Yeah.
- [52:13]
Jon Lovett
That's sweet.
- [52:14]
Caitlin Riley
Yeah, that's sweet.
- [52:17]
Jon Lovett
Would you rather be an Italian Renaissance painter or Mr. Beast?
- [52:20]
Caitlin Riley
Oh, for fuck's sake. You know Mr. Beast was involved in this new season of Survivor.
- [52:27]
Jon Lovett
I am aware of that.
- [52:28]
Caitlin Riley
Oh, you didn't catch it?
- [52:29]
Sam Heughan
He wouldn't know. He got canceled.
- [52:30]
Jon Lovett
Well, because I sort of struggle with Survivor because I got off and so it's like, I still really like it, but, like, you know, like, if you were, like, if you had, like, been really wanted to be Hamilton in Hamilton.
- [52:41]
Caitlin Riley
Wait, like, you for real can't watch survival right now.
- [52:42]
Jon Lovett
No, I can't. I'm. It's not. I can't. It's that, like, if you were. If you had always wanted to be a Broadway star and then you got the chance to be Mr. Mephistopheles and then you went out there and you shat your pants on the first day, you would still love the theater, but you might not go see Cats for a while.
- [52:59]
Caitlin Riley
Yeah, totally. Yeah. I'm sorry.
- [53:02]
Jon Lovett
No, no, no. Everything's really good.
- [53:04]
Caitlin Riley
Okay. I was really upset when you got voted off.
- [53:08]
Jon Lovett
No, I know.
- [53:09]
Caitlin Riley
Were you really upset or were you, like. That was fun.
- [53:11]
Jon Lovett
It was. I would say that you do a lot of. So what was interesting about getting voted off first on Survivor is you then get to see all the other people who are voted off pretty quickly. And you watch people have, like, 24 hours where they're completely raw and then slowly build up the, like, architecture of the story they're going to tell themselves in the world. And so I felt myself do that. And I would say the truth lies somewhere between. I always knew this was a chance, and I'm still glad I did it because it was a genuinely interesting and fun experience. And there's. If you take a. If you. If you catch every plane, you've left for the airport too early and you take a risk and the worst thing can happen and. Oh, my God, I cannot believe these fuckers voted me out first.
- [53:55]
Caitlin Riley
Yeah.
- [53:56]
Jon Lovett
You know what I'm saying?
- [53:57]
Caitlin Riley
I think it's because you were a threat for sure.
- [53:59]
Jon Lovett
That's what you tell yourself.
- [54:00]
Caitlin Riley
No, that's what I'm telling you.
- [54:02]
Jon Lovett
And I appreciate that.
- [54:03]
Caitlin Riley
I'm a big Survivor fan. I had to ask. I had to ask. Oh, I would be Mr. Beast,
- [54:11]
Sam Heughan
the other one.
- [54:13]
Caitlin Riley
That's fine. That's okay.
- [54:15]
Sam Heughan
We broke up.
- [54:16]
Caitlin Riley
Cat and mouse. No, no, no. No breakup. Just cat and mouse.
- [54:23]
Jon Lovett
That's by the way. By the way, there are so many things you're learning tonight. You're so blessed to be here. Bully your way to the top, and if someone breaks up with you, say, no, no, no breakup.
- [54:35]
Caitlin Riley
Cat and mouse.
- [54:35]
Jon Lovett
No, no, no. No breakup. Cat and mouse. No breakup. No, no, no, no, no, no. No breakup.
- [54:41]
Caitlin Riley
No, no.
- [54:42]
Jon Lovett
Great advice. Great advice. We'll be right back. And we. And now for our favorite end of the show segment, where I take a loving stroll through everything I said or did and decide whether or not I should have profound regrets about it in a segment we call Second Thoughts. Okay, here's how it works. The producers have gathered a list of reasons I might have regret during this episode.
- [55:13]
Caitlin Riley
Okay.
- [55:13]
Jon Lovett
And then we will run those by you. I also welcome any second thoughts either of you have.
- [55:17]
Sam Heughan
It's quite a long list.
- [55:19]
Jon Lovett
It is long. I don't. My first regret is, I'm sorry that I tricked you about Bert Kreischer. I don't. That wasn't necessary. You had such a. It was really sad to see what your face did, and I regret it. More of you know about the 1992 Tom Selleck film Mr. Baseball than I expected. That's interesting. That's surprising. I apologize for saying scoop boner.
- [55:42]
Caitlin Riley
That's really gross, actually.
- [55:44]
Sam Heughan
What is that?
- [55:44]
Jon Lovett
A scoop boner. That's when a reporter realizes they're in the presence of a genuine scoop and they get the boner.
- [55:51]
Caitlin Riley
Okay.
- [55:52]
Jon Lovett
I don't know that it happens. I don't know that if it does, they're not gonna say anything.
- [55:58]
Caitlin Riley
Like, if they were physically aroused.
- [55:59]
Jon Lovett
Right. Like, oh, my God, there's a scoop happening.
- [56:01]
Caitlin Riley
Right.
- [56:02]
Sam Heughan
It'd be awkward if you were a journalist and you got a lot of scoops.
- [56:05]
Caitlin Riley
Right? Sure. I mean, yeah. I mean, I think about that all the time, so.
- [56:13]
Sam Heughan
Yeah, My scooner.
- [56:14]
Caitlin Riley
Or no, just like, one. If any. If anyone would have a. That's insane that you said that to me.
- [56:24]
Jon Lovett
I'm sorry. I said that? You shouldn't ride a motorcycle.
- [56:27]
Sam Heughan
Oh, really? Why?
- [56:29]
Jon Lovett
Who am I to tell you what to do?
- [56:30]
Sam Heughan
Okay.
- [56:31]
Caitlin Riley
You have a motorcycle.
- [56:34]
Sam Heughan
It's single seat. Yeah.
- [56:36]
Caitlin Riley
Oh, okay. I have one, too, and it's also single seat.
- [56:43]
Jon Lovett
Caitlin, I'm sorry for being a third wheel on this date.
- [56:45]
Caitlin Riley
That's okay.
- [56:47]
Jon Lovett
Do you have any regrets?
- [56:49]
Caitlin Riley
No. I don't live with regret. I have no regrets.
- [56:54]
Jon Lovett
Sam, do you have any regrets?
- [56:56]
Sam Heughan
No.
- [56:57]
Jon Lovett
Do you regret coming on this show at all?
- [56:58]
Sam Heughan
No.
- [56:59]
Caitlin Riley
I do.
- [56:59]
Sam Heughan
No. Yes.
- [57:02]
Jon Lovett
With Caitlin?
- [57:03]
Sam Heughan
Never.
- [57:04]
Jon Lovett
Everybody check out Caitlin on the season of Hacks. That's out right now.
- [57:07]
Sam Heughan
Yeah.
- [57:08]
Jon Lovett
And everybody watch the final season of Outlander and the final episode ever of Outlander with Sam Heughan. That's out now. And that's our show. Thank you so much to Sam Heughan and Caitlin riley. There are 171 days until the midterm elections. We'll be back Wednesday with Ginger Minj, Rachel Bloom, and Adam Shankman. Have a great night and have a great weekend. Love it or Leave it is a Cricket Media production. Our show is produced by Kendra James, Bill McGrath, Kelsey Gante, and me, John Lovett. Our production team includes Hallie Kiefer, Sarah Lazarus, David Tolles, Claudia Shang, Jay Banks, Gavin Purcell, and Matt de Grode. And our staff is proudly unionized with the Writers Guild of America.