Coach Mike McDaniel on Football, Family & Finding His Drive

Summary

Making Space with Hoda Kotb: Coach Mike McDaniel on Football, Family & Finding His Drive

In the November 27, 2024 episode of Making Space with Hoda Kotb, listeners are introduced to Mike McDaniel, the dynamic head coach of the Miami Dolphins. This in-depth conversation delves into McDaniel's remarkable journey in football, his personal battles, and the philosophies that drive both his professional and personal life.

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1. Introduction to Coach Mike McDaniel

Hoda Kotb opens the episode by celebrating McDaniel's achievements, highlighting his role in leading the Dolphins to consecutive playoff appearances for the first time in over two decades. She sets the stage for a conversation that transcends football, touching upon resilience, personal growth, and the importance of making space for positive change.

Key Quote:

Hoda Kotb [01:08]: "Nothing quite like football on Thanksgiving... I had a chance to sit down with Coach before the NFL season began and... we'll get into his upbring, how he overcame personal challenges and his rise to the top."

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2. Early Life and Upbringing

McDaniel shares insights into his childhood, marked by frequent relocations due to financial constraints. Growing up as a child of a single mother who was an interior decorator, he developed adaptability and resilience from an early age. These experiences nurtured his ability to build and re-establish relationships, a skill that would later become pivotal in his coaching career.

Key Quote:

Mike McDaniel [05:33]: "I saw several different bedrooms... I have coordination and I was a good little leaguer at everything, but I'm also supremely competitive."

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3. Path to Coaching and Education

McDaniel's journey to coaching began with his passion for football, despite recognizing his limitations as a player. His academic pursuit led him to Yale, where he balanced athletics with rigorous academics. Being the first in his family to attend college, McDaniel emphasizes the profound impact of his mother's unwavering belief in him, which instilled a deep sense of self-worth and determination.

Key Quote:

Mike McDaniel [12:59]: "I knew without a shadow of a doubt that I was the most important person in the world to at least one person, my mom."

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4. Overcoming Personal Challenges

A significant portion of the conversation addresses McDaniel's struggles with alcohol during his early coaching career. The pressure of achieving his NFL dream led to personal turmoil, culminating in confrontations with team management. McDaniel candidly discusses his turning point—realizing the detrimental impact his behavior had on his family and career, which motivated him to embrace sobriety.

Key Quote:

Mike McDaniel [22:37]: "Disappointing her at that moment was so strong that I was like, okay, well, the only recourse is to make this the best thing that has ever happened."

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5. Coaching Philosophy and Team Transformation

McDaniel attributes the turnaround of the Miami Dolphins to his focus on building authentic relationships and fostering a culture of trust and ambition. He emphasizes the importance of understanding each player's motivations and creating an environment where everyone feels empowered to seize their opportunities.

Key Quote:

Mike McDaniel [40:03]: "You have to do it as a group and really finding the human beings that were appropriate for that."

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6. Daily Routines and Making Space for Growth

Highlighting the importance of discipline, McDaniel describes his rigorous morning routine, which begins as early as 2:30 AM. This routine allows him uninterrupted time to prepare mentally and set a positive tone for the day, ensuring he is fully present for his team.

Key Quote:

Mike McDaniel [31:02]: "I wake up, it's about 2:30 to 3:00 AM... immersing myself into the music that I'm listening to in the dark that gets me to the office."

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7. Parenting and Personal Life

Married with a beautiful daughter, McDaniel shares his parenting philosophy rooted in unconditional love and setting clear boundaries. Inspired by his mother's unwavering support, he strives to ensure his daughter always feels valued and secure, balancing his high-stress career with dedicated family time.

Key Quote:

Mike McDaniel [34:11]: "The love, the power that you are loved... is that my daughter felt like she was the most important person or my favorite person in the world."

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8. Conclusion: Lessons in Resilience and Leadership

As the conversation wraps up, McDaniel reflects on the broader lessons of his journey—emphasizing resilience, the importance of relationships, and the need to remain present and proactive in both personal and professional spheres. His story serves as an inspiration for anyone striving to overcome adversity and make meaningful changes in their lives.

Key Quote:

Mike McDaniel [43:14]: "You're either going to be really happy about the way you seized the day... or you're gonna spend 30, 40, 50, 60, 70 years in regret."

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Final Thoughts

This episode of Making Space offers a comprehensive look into Coach Mike McDaniel's life, blending his professional triumphs with personal battles and triumphs. Hoda Kotb skillfully navigates through McDaniel's narrative, providing listeners with valuable insights into leadership, resilience, and the importance of making space for personal growth and positive change.

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Notable Advertisements Skipped: The episode includes advertisements for T-Mobile, MasterCard, Fidelity, High Five Casino, Angel Soft, and SOFI. These segments have been omitted to focus solely on the content-rich dialogue between Hoda Kotb and Mike McDaniel.

Transcript

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[Hoda Kotb]

There'S nothing quite like football on Thanksgiving. Crispball air, the family all huddled around the TV and the familiar sounds of NFL announcers in stadiums full of cheering fans. Now imagine you're actually on the field. Your position, the most important one on the sidelines for my guest today. That's just it. Mike McDaniel is head coach of the Miami Dolphins. Together with his lifelong love of the game, his drive and his outside the box approach to coaching, they've all brought him all the way to where he is now. Coach McDaniel led the Dolphins to the playoffs two years in a row, something that had not been done in more than 20 years for the team. I had a chance to sit down with Coach before the NFL season began and of course we talk about life on the field, but you'll also get to know Coach McDaniel off the field. We get into his upbring, how he overcame personal challenges and his rise to the top. Plus why his 3am wake ups leave him with no regrets. Whether you're a sports fan or not, this episode has a little something for everyone. I'm Hoda Kotb. Welcome to my podcast, Making Space. Where are you Mike?

[Mike McDaniel]

I'm in Miami Gardens. This is my first day in the office after six weeks off. There's a lot, a lot of things going on right now.

[Hoda Kotb]

First of all, I'm super interested in you because I love a guy who's sitting on top but has been through it all. Let me just talk about first of all you as a coach. Because everyone's got their own technique, they got their own way, they got their own vibe. Some guys have a way of motivating. You've done something that is really. It's just turned the program around. I mean, I loved sports when I was a kid. And I remember the coaches. Coach Gro, Coach Sacky, Coach Theisinger. I remember them all. How do you go about taking a player and making them not just a better player, but a better human being, a better person, huh?

[Mike McDaniel]

Well, I have this dust in my pocket and I just sprinkle a little on them and it's taken care of. I think you know some of those. Because what you just asked is a very cool question that gets at the nuts and bolts of like, your motivation professionally. For me, reverse engineering things is very, very powerful. So what am I trying to do? I'm trying to use my professional expertise to help someone realize a dream. So I have information to offer. But for me, I kind of lean on, like my experiences and experiences, whether it was direct or indirectly from my past. You're working with people in the immediate, but every person that you're working with has so many different layers to them and scars and things that can motivate different ways that they're actually best reached, all of those things. The bottom line is we are in a business that depends on relationships. And so I. I really try to go to the most human element that I could figure out, and that's who is the listener, who are the people? What do they need to know about me relative to everything they're used to seeing from a coach? And, um, you know. Cause I'm in the business of maximizing people. And that's. That's what I try to stay near and dear to on the daily.

[Hoda Kotb]

Well, I think, like trying to figure out what someone's about. So I'm going to try to figure out what you're about. Okay. So one of the questions I love to ask Mike, Someone asked me this question and it was so meaningful to me and I never forgot it. So I try to ask every guest this question. So close your eyes for a second.

[Mike McDaniel]

Okay.

[Hoda Kotb]

Now imagine that you are opening the door to your childhood bedroom and you're looking around at it. You see the walls, you see your sheets, you see your stuffed animals, you see your books, whatever you got around. Look around, soak it in for a second. Now open your eyes and tell me what you see.

[Mike McDaniel]

Well, I saw several different bedrooms. Cause I grew up and we were moving a lot based upon Financial situations. I see posters of Bo Jackson, Michael Jordan, you know, the infamous Bo Jackson, black and white with the bat, Michael Jordan. I see pretty presentable room because my mom was an interior decorator and she always wanted to look clean. So those posters do have some like Walmart plastic frame to them. Like, so it does look clean. A couple pictures of myself in athletics. There's a TV and a video game console. I wasn't an avid reader when I was little, so.

[Hoda Kotb]

How did sports.

[Mike McDaniel]

Yeah, and cleanliness, that's what I got.

[Hoda Kotb]

How did you handle the constant moving? How was that having to, you know, bond and sever, make friends, leave friends, you know, all that stuff?

[Mike McDaniel]

You know, I think that's, it's something that was beneficial. You know, as I went to college across the country, living in Denver and then going to school in Connecticut, um, and then in my professional circumstances, being a coach and moving a ton, it's been awesome. Now then, much like a lot of things that life throws our way at the time, you think things are terrible and they end up being very beneficial. So that there was adversity there. When people say, you know, growing up and home, I, I, I, I have a tough time visualizing that. You know, like I said, immediately I was visualizing seven different rooms. But, you know, I think the first time you do it is a lot harder than the second time. It's a lot harder than the third time in terms of understanding that, okay, I gotta, I've gotta reintroduce and re. Establish myself within whatever social parameters you have at the time, which for me was school, obviously then. But what's interesting is as time goes on, it does get easier to adjust, but you have to fight the initial predisposition of not diving into things because everything is so temporary.

[Hoda Kotb]

Interesting. Yeah.

[Mike McDaniel]

So people or, you know, and I think that, you know, I learned the hard way through some high school relationships. I never wanted the reason I did something or behaved a certain way or was a certain way to be a result of other people. I wanted to, I wanted to be who I was for the, for the reasons that I, that I thought were important. And so I, it took some self evaluation in, in those dramatic high school years and college years to kind of make sure that I didn't go down a road that I think would have been very easy, which would have been surface level resistance to, to extending yourself to other people, you know, coddling yourself so you don't have to go through that whole cycle.

[Hoda Kotb]

Sounds like, sounds like sports was such a constant because I feel like the people who, you know, did you play all sports? What were you playing when you were a kid?

[Mike McDaniel]

So I was, I was doing everything as a kid. But, you know, there's these things called athletic limitations that just get in the way of, of an athlete, you know, like, so, you know, I, I have coordination and I was a good little leaguer at everything, but I'm also supremely competitive. And, you know, I was finding the most success in football because I knew the most nuances about it. I've been the most passionate about that sport in particular. I was, I think, five, three as a freshman. So all varsity athletics were kind of off the table. And so you're just in the mode of developing and around fresh. I think my freshman year I stopped playing all sports but football and then ran track to balance it out to be faster for football.

[Hoda Kotb]

So at what point did you imagine that coaching would have been something that you wanted to do?

[Mike McDaniel]

I was a realist as a child. So, you know, I had. My mom was so wonderful with empowering me with, with belief in myself, and she would, she would really build me up and I, I really liked that. Positive reinforcement, however, like, I was the second best player on my little league football team. Like the first football team I, I was on in Greeley, Colorado, which is like 70,000 people. I was like, if I'm the second best player on this, this random little league team, I'm probably gonna have a tough time being at anything I want to be, which is what you're hearing at the time of what my mom was telling me. But so, so I thought probably around the, my first, my first team I was on, I think I was 6 or something that, yeah, I may not be able to play professionally, but I can live in football and be a coach.

[Hoda Kotb]

Wow.

[Mike McDaniel]

So about five or six maybe.

[Hoda Kotb]

Where'd you go to college?

[Mike McDaniel]

Yale.

[Hoda Kotb]

And why did you pick Yale? Why did you want to go there?

[Mike McDaniel]

Well, I didn't know where I wanted to go, per se. I didn't really know where I was going to get in. I, I was the first person in a family to go to college and we were like third generation Coloradan. So I just knew I wanted to go out of state. So what I did was, I think starting as a freshman or sophomore, I was in a public school called, named Smoky Hill High School. And part of Cherry Creek School District was very well funded, very good public schooling. They had a college career center. And I went there and looked at all these colleges. Had about 30 on a list by the time I Was a junior. I had about 10 colleges geographically dispersed around the country that were all top schools. So ucla, I had. I think my. I had early action to Pepperdine just in case I failed all my applications. And early action wasn't binding at Duke, all the good ones, Northwestern, Columbia, Stanford was my dream school until I got into some schools and realized I had. I may never play football there because they were too good relative to my talent level. So I was all over the place. And then I got. Once I got. I was at the University of Puget Sound on a football visit and got a call from my mom that we had a big envelope from Yale.

[Hoda Kotb]

Wow.

[Mike McDaniel]

And from that moment on, I was like, yeah, I'm going to Yale sight unseen.

[Hoda Kotb]

It sounds like your mom always believed, like anything was possible for you. Anything. What else did she give you in those years?

[Mike McDaniel]

You know, I think part of the vision that as a parent I've tried to recreate. One of the things that I thought was monumental was I knew without a shadow of a doubt that I was the most important person in the world to at least one person, my mom. I don't know where I'd be if I didn't have that. And I look at people that don't have that, and it's very humbling because when people are able to find some successes in life, however you measure those and, you know, they're. They're lost on love through their maturation. I don't that. That throws a wrench into the matrix for me. I mean, what other gift could one be given for the challenges that are going to come up in life than, you know, having that security that someone cares?

[Hoda Kotb]

And that's so interesting, Mike, when you think about it, because you talked about all the moving and the bonding and severing and the repotting and the here we go again, and your mom's a single mom kind of making it all happen. And I know she was working. How did you know that she loved you that much? How could. How did you know as a kid that there, there's.

[Mike McDaniel]

There might be a career in this for you? That was a good question. Wow. God, I think, you know, it. It's almost like you're living life on a stage with an audience of one. So there was never a day that I wasn't asked how I was doing. There wasn't a day that things. I mean, she, she. Her identity was a mother first at that point. And I think that manifests itself with me because you just. The long game, you can't hide from you know, how many times do you. Are your priorities? Your child's over everything. You know, whether that be a work Christmas bonus that was parlayed into a fan plan for Nuggets season tickets or, you know, I think a year and a half with no career change. A year and a half after our power lights got shut off, I was getting a Game Boy for getting straight A's in school. I think getting into high school and getting a little more awareness of relationships with other kids and their parents, and you start to, wow, oh, I thought this was normal. I think that's. That's when I kind of really, really knew that that's what I was feeling through all those younger years, but wasn't able to articulate that I wasn't telling people that I'm the most important person to my mom. But then you start seeing other people that have to deal with things that, oh, wow, it's not a prerequisite that she even cares. It's probably.

[Hoda Kotb]

Then it's very interesting, though, because you don't lead with. When you just said the power was cut sometimes. I didn't know it got like that. You don't lead with that. That's like a.

[Mike McDaniel]

That.

[Hoda Kotb]

That's a P.S. to the story. It's not. It's not your identity.

[Mike McDaniel]

Yeah, well, you know, life is interesting because, I mean, how often do people continually misdiagnose something as being negative? And how often are the biggest things that have ever happened in people's lives you can directly connect it to absolutely catastrophic, Even things, you know, like. It's very interesting. Like, my wife's born and raised California. She likes cloudy days. And it messed me up when I for, like the first year. Like, who likes a cloudy day? Oh, people that are born and raised in California that only have sunshine, you know, like, you need the balance. You need the. So all of it's very interesting and I'm glad you're interested.

[Hoda Kotb]

Yeah, I am. I am. More ahead with Coach Mike McDaniel. Stay with us.

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[Hoda Kotb]

So you, you know, you love this profession. You're super smart, obviously, getting all these colleges. You go, you start working, working, and you get to work in the profession you love, you know, which is kind of cool. You started off in Denver, right? You were like, what was it? Yeah, intern, coach or something like that?

[Mike McDaniel]

Yeah, I was, I was an unpaid intern. And yeah. Do you mind if. Go ahead, dive into this one. I really like this one because what's, what's interesting about that is it's kind of an overall life lesson about, is it about the destination or is it about the journey? I really struggled. It's kind of, you know, much has been made about, you know, my struggles with alcohol. That's probably a manifestation of reaching your. Your dream. It was a dream of mine to be in the NFL. And I was in the NFL at 22 and I still had the same ebbs and flows, the ups and downs that one always has in life. Everything wasn't fixed. And so I really struggled with, I don't know, I felt a tremendous amount of guilt having a bad day. And so if something would negatively affect me, I wouldn't address it. Because how, like what, what person am I if, you know, I remember all the way back to when I'm five or six and dreaming of this and I'm in it and now I'm not happy. What does that say about me, what's wrong with me, you know? Yeah, it was unbelievable. But sometimes you're so obsessed about the destination that you think it's an end all, fix all. And you know, how often do we find that that's not the case? Ask every lottery winner. Yeah, so the, it was, it was really cool. It really helped me establish what, what I would say my present day, the way that I coach, how that actually manifests and, and how it's just an extension of me. All those things I had to problem solve because I was a below the line college player who's 22, 23, who's extremely ambitious, who wanted to do a really good job instructing these professional athletes who were older than me and more skilled than me. So for me to execute that, I knew that I had to have valuable information that could help them do their jobs. And that, you know, it kind of forced me to identify and recognize the, the most important features of coaching to me. And, you know, I was able early in my career to be positively reinforced with the idea that no one cares what you look like or how you sound. If you can help them.

[Hoda Kotb]

If you can help them. Yeah. When did you mentioned briefly when you started drinking and what effect it had? So you're this hard driving guy, you get to a place where you want to be. You're coaching different places in the NFL and a lot of people are social drinkers. When did you realize that it was a problem, that it was harming you professionally and personally?

[Mike McDaniel]

You know, when you're doing things in life and keeping them from everyone. So you know, we, I'm, I'm drinking in the office, which wasn't crazy in terms of we did have a night where, where guys would open a beverage and you know, head coaches made sure that everyone non negotiably didn't drive. And that was fun for me. But you know, that's got to raise a red flag. And I think I knew that to be a red flag. And then when you're questioning yourself on why are you keeping this from people and then you're logging. Wait. Well, it's been a pretty long time since I haven't had any alcohol on one day. Oh, wow, okay. What am I doing? Why am I doing something that I ha. There's portions of the time that I'm trying to keep secret from everyone. What, what am I hiding? And then when you get caught and what happened?

[Hoda Kotb]

What happened? The Texan, you were coaching for the Texans, right? And they said, and that's enough.

[Mike McDaniel]

It wasn't Directly, it was more like I showed up late. But they had, they didn't connect it with anything specific like alcohol. And for me, I put that in a bucket of like partying or going like, not directly alcohol, but like things that are connected to alcohol and you know, just be responsible the night before you're working. Sure. But then, and so then I kind of ignored the fact that I, I didn't address that it was alcohol, which is, I think commonplace when you're, when you're trying to or when you're going through that.

[Hoda Kotb]

When. When did you say. When did you say, I got a problem, I got to stop. I want my career, I want my life.

[Mike McDaniel]

So then I meet my present day wife in 2010 when I'm not in the NFL and she's with me when I get into the NFL in 2011 or get back into the NFL, my second stint with the Washington football team. And then she sees that journey. And then in the coaching profession, whether you're good or not, there's a lot of things that, that can go on. And you know, we got fired. So you, you move to a different city. We go to Cleveland. I'm the receiver coach. We move on from there, go to Atlanta and you know, we're preparing for a possible. Hopefully I'm getting a promotion this next season. The season ends 2015 and 2016 begins and I get called into. That was on Thursday nights, on a Wednesday or Tuesday that I'm drinking by myself in secret. Kyle Shannon's office and then Dan Quinn's and like, oh, by the way, we, we noticed you're drinking all season. You know, it came to our knowledge maybe in, in at the very tail end. And we need to talk about your, your job here. Well, it's one thing going on your own journey, but telling that news to my wife who is living in Beaufort, Georgia, you know, on the heels of living in Cleveland, on the heels of living in Virginia, moving all across the country and having to tell her that my, my actions just blew up her whole life. That is visceral to this day, that disappointing her at that moment was so strong that I was like, okay, well, the only recourse is to make this the best thing that has ever happened. How do you do that? Well, what if I just never drank again? Okay, this can't be how I'm defined. This can't. I, I just couldn't live with myself doing that to her. And just, just like the uncertainty, you know, you're. We got married in 2014, so you're married. You're across the country and. Okay, well, what does this mean? What? This. The. What. What are we doing? We've. We've already been bouncing around the country, dude. That. I just couldn't. Yeah, that was.

[Hoda Kotb]

So when you say you want to quit, that was it. I mean, how'd you, How'd you do it? Like, how did you actually do it?

[Mike McDaniel]

How did I, I, I did it emotionally. I'm a pretty stubborn person that has a pretty strong will. And so for me, I did it by saying that. And then how does that manifest itself? First, you kind of have to, like, understand, what is this an alcohol issue? And for me, it wasn't. I was using alcohol for a different issue. The fact that I didn't want to have a bad day and couldn't address anything negative. So that, to me, was the healing part that I understood that I was using alcohol for in a way that I didn't want to. That doesn't do justice to what I want for my life. And then, honestly, it was like, I. I don't even look at it like it's an option for me. Good. And just took it off the table because I. There was no scenario where I could, you know, I'm an extreme person. There's no scenario where I could just moderately jump back in the game. It's not how I work. So to me, it was understanding that it's difficult. That was a motivating factor, because when you're. If you're trying to. If you're trying to make something of your life, if you're trying to be something, if you're trying to accomplish things, you have to do things inherently that other people can't. So if there's a challenge for me, okay, well, this gives me an opportunity to, you know, dictate the terms on what I. What I've always wanted. I didn't. I just wanted to be something. And, well, that. That gives you an opportunity to.

[Hoda Kotb]

So with that, with that decision. Part of this podcast is called Making Space, and it's about kind of healthy habits that people have. And I. You and I are similar in this way. I mean, I kind of have to get up at the crack of dawn just because of my job. But you like to get. You like to be up before the sunrise. What does that give you? And just give me a little bit about your morning routine, how you start it.

[Mike McDaniel]

Again, I alluded to this earlier, but, you know, people are very focused on the whatever, the goal, the want, the desire, the end game. I want to be A head coach in the National Football League. To me isn't that the accumulation of people really getting something out of the day every day you look at, you look at the greatest performers in sports and how they deliberately practice over time. And like to me, what do you do with your day? Well, waking up early allows me to have no regrets for that day. As you know, as it is now, I'm a head coach. So like if I'm going through the motions on any given day, to me that leaves the whole organization and everybody that's depending on me vulnerable to matching my going through the motion. So getting up in the morning I have really uninterrupted time to myself to prepare to be a leader for everyone else.

[Hoda Kotb]

So what do you do? Tell me about. So you wake up, what time? What do you do?

[Mike McDaniel]

I wake up, it's about 2:30 to 3:00am Is when I set my alarm and I just get out of bed, grab any sort of dolphin paraphernalia that I don't have to think about. I just get clothes on.

[Hoda Kotb]

Yep.

[Mike McDaniel]

Unshowered. Jump in the car and it's getting to the car as fast as possible. Going on my drive where there's nobody on the road.

[Hoda Kotb]

Yep.

[Mike McDaniel]

And just immersing myself into the music that I'm listening to in the dark that gets me to the office anywhere between 3 and, and 3:30 depending on when I woke up. And I'll, I have a daily stoic on my desk that I check in the daily passage and then I just start knocking stuff out. But what's, what's awesome is by the time that I see other people that I work with, I am already there with the forecasting of the day and what I want to get out of the day. But that way when I'm, when it's business hours I can be fully present because so much of to me that's a cheat code in life is just being right where you're at, not in the fake past or the non predictable future.

[Hoda Kotb]

How do you bookend your day right before you go to bed? What's the very last thing you do? Say read, watch.

[Mike McDaniel]

I think it's more of the idea that we, we have a lot, even though it's limited sometimes we have a lot more control over our lives than we realize. And I think sometimes the snowball effect of momentum can just tip the scales into whatever direction you want. So for me before I go to bed I don't, that's where I don't leave room for anything negative that's Good. When I'm about to go into sleep, whatever I'm doing, I'm appreciating either laying right next to my daughter or, you know, whatever happened, or I'm making sure that it's, that it's in the positive aura because I, I can, it's the last time I get to dictate the terms. I shut down, but my brain doesn't. And I think that manifesting stuff, there's something positive in that. So I try to make sure that I go to sleep so that I can at least start the day optimistic. I go to sleep with some positive thoughts and feelings.

[Hoda Kotb]

You have a beautiful little girl who I know it was a long journey to get to her and congratulations on that little girl. Parenting is always interesting. I've got two little ones. I have a seven and a five. And I often think about what lessons or what techniques I took from my parents to parent and which ones I tried to not implement, to undo. What did you learn from your mom that you implement with your parenting and what did you decide wasn't right for her?

[Mike McDaniel]

You hit the nail on the head though. I'm pretty sure every parent does that. I think that's because it's what, you know and you know, nobody's really, no one's signing up to admit that, yeah, I'm worse than my parents, you know, so for me, you know, like I spoke before, the, you know, the love, the, the power that you are loved in a, in a world that you can find a lot of hate, or not necessarily hate, but negative, just that non negotiable for me was that, that my daughter felt like she was the most important person or my favorite person in the world. And I asked her yesterday, I said, who's, who's daddy's favorite person in the entire world? And she said, me. And so I was like, yes, you did it. Then I, I think making sure that boundaries that are externally set by directly or indirectly from the entire world, like, okay, you can do this, you can't do that. I have utilized people telling me I can't do stuff my entire life and I wouldn't be able to be in the spot that I'm now if in one of those moments I would have said, you know, you're probably right, that I think that is monumental. And I just, I, I couldn't. Those particular two examples are things that were non negotiable for me as, as, as a parent. And fortunately my, my beautiful wife agreed. And so we've been pretty pressing forward with that. You know, it's really hard to. Parenting is hard.

[Hoda Kotb]

Yeah, it is.

[Mike McDaniel]

It is because you're like for me, so much of my life philosophy is like not wiltering adversity that how necessary it is for you to accomplish things, but also to even appreciate things. And it can be a gift if you, if you handle it the right way. Well then as a parent, you know, I don't want to see her sad at all. Like, God, it kills me but like just struggling with, you know, what is coddling, what those things are real. It is tough to like, man, how do I not spoil her?

[Hoda Kotb]

I know, so funny. I know. It's like you can't make up adversity, although you do want your child to because I mean I always thought it's better to have a, a tougher childhood and an easier adulthood because a lot of kids who kind of had the easy child and you can't manufacture adversity. You know, it comes anyway whether you look for it or not. But it's like you, you think about like I think about that with my own kids too. It's like I really want them to be able to withstand all the things that life has. But yet I can't bear it when a kid, when someone starts teasing my kid on the playground and I'm like trying to sit there, fix it.

[Mike McDaniel]

I know such a mind. It is, it is, it is.

[Hoda Kotb]

More with coach Mike McDaniel when we come back.

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[Mike McDaniel]

Hmm, that's music to my ears.

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[Mike McDaniel]

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[Mike McDaniel]

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[Hoda Kotb]

Angel soft.

[Mike McDaniel]

Soft and strong.

[Hoda Kotb]

So simple.

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[Hoda Kotb]

Lastly, I just want to hear, like, you had this way of turning the Miami Dolphins around. You're like this young guy, you're full of energy, you're full of light. Obviously you got all this stuff going, but to turn around a team, which is what you've done, I don't know how you do it. Maybe it is that magic fairy dust you have in your pocket. You sprinkle around and things happen. But. But there's something going on there. There's something that you're doing that is working. And I'm sure you hear feedback from players or other coaches and stuff. But how do you attribute the fact that the team has really turned around?

[Mike McDaniel]

I think first, especially when you're talking about team, a lot of people in the business of team are individually motivated. For me, I do tangibly know my limitations. I found out more limitations. But identifying that, okay, to do something, it's going to be way bigger than you. So really focusing on the people that are supposed to be carrying your message and that you're working with. From an organizational standpoint, for anything to be done, you're going to have to do it as a group and really finding the human beings that were appropriate for that. And then, you know, I take lessons from, you know, growing up in my own childhood. And it is risky and you're vulnerable. When you are ambitious, it leaves you vulnerable to failing. And so a lot of people like to stay in their safe place. Um, for me, I, I thought it was super important that we reestablish our ambitions, that we're candid about them. Because really, why are you hiding from them? Well, fear, failure. And if you want to open a professional athlete's eyes, look them in the eyes and say, are you afraid of failure? That's the only reason you wouldn't do this is if you're afraid or scared. And that kind of makes them up. Everyone picturing and creating the vision of what our expectations should be and, you know, identifying exactly the opportunity we have. And it's so funny how, how life works. Every generation thinks the next generation is soft or the, the one following them. And how often do young people not listen to wisdom? So trying to create a situation, a scenario where I wanted all the players and the people to really hear me in a way that potential experiences of their past would keep them from hearing me. Like, hey, I don't listen to coaches or a half list.

[Hoda Kotb]

Yeah.

[Mike McDaniel]

Establishing all that and then gaining the trust day by day. You know the thing. Yeah. You can say one thing, but delivering on that daily, I think that's super important. And then, you know, really trying to utilize a time machine and show them how, whether they like it or not, they have an opportunity of a lifetime. A life defining.

[Hoda Kotb]

Yeah.

[Mike McDaniel]

Opportunity at 25 years old.

[Hoda Kotb]

Sure.

[Mike McDaniel]

And you have one or two ways to address it or there's going to be one or two results. You're either going to be really happy about the way you seized the day and took advantage of this unbelievable opportunity that you have at 24, 25, 26, or you're gonna spend 30, 40, 50, 60, 70 years in regret.

[Hoda Kotb]

Wow.

[Mike McDaniel]

All that and then an unbelievable starting from the owner to the general manager, Chris Greer and the president, Tom Garfinkel, and my best friend and executives, Brandon Shore. All these guys. Yeah, they were ready for what I had to offer. So the team component, One Direction, that's the only way you can do anything.

[Hoda Kotb]

Okay, there you go, Coach. Thank you so much. Thank you, Mike.

[Mike McDaniel]

I appreciate it.

[Hoda Kotb]

Hey, guys, thank you so much for listening and for coming on this journey with me. If you like what you heard, and I hope that you do, please give Making Space a five star rating and review on Apple Podcasts and make sure you tell your friends. Follow us on Apple Podcasts, Spotify or wherever you're listening right now. Making Space with Hoda Kotb is produced by Allison Berger and Alexa Casavecchia along with Katie Dissler, Lilia Wood, Brooke Glatz and Kate Saunders. Our associate audio engineer is Juliana Mostarilli. Our audio engineer is Katie Lau. Original music by John Estes. Bryson Barnes is our head of audio production. Missy Dunlop Parsons is our executive producer. Libby Leach is the executive vice president of Today and Lifestyle.

[Mike McDaniel]

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[Mike McDaniel]

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