← Making Space with Hoda Kotb
Making Space with Hoda Kotb
Erin Andrews: “I Just Couldn’t Give Up"
00:41:26
Sportscaster Erin Andrews is in the busiest and best season of her life. She joins Hoda Kotb to talk about her career, her health journey and becoming a new mom.
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- [00:00]
Hoda Kotb
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- [00:28]
Erin Andrews
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- [00:51]
Hoda Kotb
Erin Andrews is a fixture on the NFL sidelines. She's been a sportscaster for more than two decades, race reporting on some of the biggest games in football. Aaron is a legend in the sports industry and one of sports TV's brightest stars. But just like the rest of us, for Aaron, not all seasons are winning seasons. Some will test your strength, your endurance, and your drive to keep going. Back in 2008, an event so startling occurred, not even Aaron herself could wrap her mind around it. While on the road for work, a man secretly recorded Erin in her hotel room and shared the footage of her undressing online. In 2016, a painful and public trial would follow. That same year, after a routine checkup, Erin was diagnosed with cervical cancer and underwent two surgeries to have it removed. And after a decade battling with infertility and multiple rounds of IVF heartbreak. But Erin found joy at the end of her journey. And with the NFL season in full swing, Erin has entered her busiest and best season yet. Motherhood. In June of this year, Erin and her husband, former NHL player Jarrett Stahl, welcomed a baby boy with the help of a surrogate. Today, Erin continues to inspire both on and off the field. She bravely shares her experiences with the world and remains candid about topics that impact so many families. Erin and I had so much to talk about, and after this conversation, we will be cheering her on from the sidelines. Two pom poms, baby. As she celebrates this exciting season of her life. I'm Hoda Kotb. Welcome to my podcast, Making space. All right, Ms. Erin, it's so good to see you. I have to say that you're doing what moms do these days. You are doing it all.
- [03:00]
Erin Andrews
I don't know what I'm doing.
- [03:01]
Hoda Kotb
You're doing it all. You're working. You're working your childcare situation. You're Doing all the things. How full is your plate at this point?
- [03:12]
Erin Andrews
It's full. I was talking to you a couple weeks ago in New York and just about the guilt factor. I just got home last night from Dallas. Luckily, I landed just in time to say goodnight. You know, wipe a little spit up off of the under part of the chin. You know that when it gets in there and like, walks down a little bit. Yes, he saved that for me. Got to see him off to bed. Just. I got up before he got up this morning, walked the dog, got ready, seeing you, gonna run around. So I'm struggling with that because, you know, I only have a few couple of days out of the week before I have to hit Philadelphia this week for the Cowboys Eagles matchup. It's like, do you. And I know you do because you're super mom and you. You do everything, every little minute where you just wish how back in the day you'd flip through social media or look to see what's going on in the world. It's like, okay, what can I fit in? Do I shove a yogurt down my throat? Do I go, try to get the kid into the doctor now? Like, you know what I mean? It's just like, there's no time, Hoda.
- [04:09]
Hoda Kotb
I know. And you know what? I spend most of my time trying to slow everything down. Like, someone said this to me and they said, we spend so much of our life for focused on our kind of imagined future, like the what if future. So we live our life because we have to do this now. Cause what if and what if that. And I gotta make sure that I got this time and that time, that imagined future that we're dreaming about, that we're thinking about, that we're worried about our moms and dad's health, you know, those kinds of things. It's like, you. All the time that we're sitting here, I feel like. I mean, I feel that a lot. I'm like, you know what? Today is a great day. Yeah, this is. Okay, let me tell you this. I was with Hope yesterday. And you know that song, Enchanted by Taylor Swift.
- [04:57]
Erin Andrews
Yes.
- [04:58]
Hoda Kotb
So Enchanted to Meet yout. I'm looking at Hope and she's looking at me, and the song comes on. And all of a sudden I get this, okay? And I go, hope, you know what this is reminding me of? And she goes, your eyes are wet. I go, enchanted to meet you. I go, hopeie, the first time you are placed in my arms, I realized that's the word she said. What does enchanted mean? I said, enchanted means you're. It's more than delighted. It's the bisque, the biggest word. And in that moment, I thought to myself, oh, my God, in two minutes we made a memory. I could have been running, because I usually am. Oh, my God.
- [05:32]
Erin Andrews
Get this.
- [05:32]
Hoda Kotb
Get your coat, get your coat. You know, it's just like trying to slow the world down. And it's hard. Cause you are type A man. You get it done. You've always been an achiever, an overachiever. Has that been your just your way through your life?
- [05:48]
Erin Andrews
Yeah. It's crazy. I don't know when the switch happened, Hoda, because I think of myself in college. If I had applied myself as much as I would have been wearing all those great, like, you know, badges and ropes. And I was like, looked at my parents when I graduated and which I did in four years. And I said, how come I don't have all that stuff? My dad's like, exactly. Why don't you have all. No, I just, I think once I got into this industry, I mean, you know it better than anyone fueled by, you know, it's a male dominated industry. What is. It was just the chip on my shoulder to be like, let's do as much as I can, show everybody I, you know, am able to do it. And I think it was you that said this. The more success you have, the busier you are. And it's just, that's, you know, where you are. Exactly how it is. I actually had a great interview last week with Dan Patrick, who I worked with at ESPN for several years. And he had mentioned, and I love the way he phrased it, and it's basically how you said it. We are always, you know, in the fast pass lane. We are going, going, going. But don't be afra to pull over to the side and just take a minute and think about what you've accomplished, what you have. Do your enchanted moments with your daughter before you get back in the hov, you know, Right.
- [07:01]
Hoda Kotb
And plow past everybody. Yeah, I wanna go before this. I wanna go to little Erin Andrews, who was a kid and raised by. It sounds like amazing parents. You've got your sister. So when you were the little girl, what was the thing that you did that you lost? You completely lost track of time. They were like, erin, you're like, wait, what? It's three o'. Clock. Mom. What? What was the thing you did when you were little that you couldn't stop doing?
- [07:28]
Erin Andrews
Oh, I think the one thing around our entire life was dance. Dance was so big and I wasn't good, Hoda. I was. I hit a growth spurt so early in my life, I shot up. I mean, we're talking the elastic jeans my mom had to put me in because nothing would stay on these hips. And of course, she did say to me, enjoy it now. You know, I never really appreciated it until now, the Ensure drinks to keep weight on me in case I got the random stomach flu.
- [07:57]
Hoda Kotb
You were that skinny that you needed.
- [07:59]
Erin Andrews
That so much, so, I mean, you'll get it. I was nicknamed in junior high Minute for Minute bowl because I was so tall and so thin. And that's what all the boys called me because I couldn't keep any weight on.
- [08:12]
Hoda Kotb
Were you popular when you were at that stage?
- [08:15]
Erin Andrews
No, I wasn't. I wasn't popular at all. I was. You know, I. I think people knew me because I hung out with the boys. I had a lot of girlfriends from dance, but then when it came to school, I wanted to talk about Michael Jordan. I wanted to talk about the Boston Celtics. So I like to hang out with the guys. I also. Which I really appreciate, my mom and dad did. I was just telling somebody this. They were asking about pushing sports, and when do you do that on your kid? And I said, I didn't play sports. I was just. I was a kid that was in dance, and I loved it so much for the structure, and I never wanted to let down my. My dance teacher. That was my mom's M.O. with us. If we. If I fought with my little sister or if I, you know, fought with my mom or was sassy with my mom, she said, great, call Ms. Teresa right now and tell her you're not going to ballet. And it was like, no.
- [09:03]
Hoda Kotb
Why. Why didn't you want. Why did you not want to disappoint her?
- [09:07]
Erin Andrews
I did a report on something like this yesterday with the Cowboys game. The defensive coordinator was talking about. And you know this as a parent, I don't know this yet. You can say something to Hope, you can say something to your player all week long, but if it's an outside voice, somebod that they look up to, they'll listen, they'll get it. And that's why. I mean, knowing I had to tell her I was sassy to my mom just broke me. And that was such great structure because you ask if I was popular in school, I was with the boys, but I wasn't doing the Friday night movie theaters with the girls and all that kind of stuff because I had competition dance the next day. And I just felt like that taught me responsibility. Hoda, you know this better than anyone. It taught me what? When the lights are on, and even if you feel like crap, if it's that time of month or you've just gotten in, you know, a, a, a stern discussion with somebody, lights are on. Hello, baby show. We're here. Carson, what do you have for us? Yeah, it's, it taught me so much. It taught me about prioritizing my life, my, my schoolwork and that my mom started that from a very young age. And one thing I appreciate about her, she didn't push it on us. So that was something that I lost myself in was dance. It gave me a confidence, even though I did look very tall, skinny, minute esque, you know, minute esque.
- [10:23]
Hoda Kotb
So you hung with the boys. Cause that's where you felt comfortable and they spoke your language. It sounds like. What did that. Cause no matter what group you hang with, if you hang with the girls, you sort of want the attention of the boys. If you hang with the boys, sometimes you're like, oh, they seem like they're having a real sisterhood and I'm over here. What did that feel like for you while you were in school?
- [10:42]
Erin Andrews
I think, wow, I'm going to lay down on the couch and dive deep here. I think that hanging with the boys, it just was a comfort zone. I didn't have to be anything that I wasn't because I wasn't, you know, my body wasn't developing like the girls. I didn't, I was, I was, I was in the ugly duckling stage. I was, clothes weren't fitting and looking the way, you know, and it's not like my mom was going out. We weren't buying the wait for it especially and Z Cavaricis and the kids all the time, you know, So, I mean, yeah, it made me feel comfortable because I would wear, you know, the Larry Bird T shirt and things like that. That was my comfort zone.
- [11:20]
Hoda Kotb
Did you want one of the boys to ask you out and did they?
- [11:23]
Erin Andrews
Yes. One of the boys I hung out with, yes, all the time.
- [11:27]
Hoda Kotb
Did you get asked to the dances and all that stuff?
- [11:30]
Erin Andrews
I did get asked to the dances. Yes. Yeah, I did. By the boy I wanted to ask me out, but. Yes, but that was way later in my life. That was like senior.
- [11:40]
Hoda Kotb
So you didn't play sports, you just, you were just a fan and who was a fan in your house who loved sports?
- [11:45]
Erin Andrews
My dad. Yeah? Yeah, yeah.
- [11:47]
Hoda Kotb
Are you a pleaser?
- [11:48]
Erin Andrews
Yes, 1,000%. How can you tell?
- [11:52]
Hoda Kotb
I Don't know. Cause you said your dance teacher, you didn't want to disappoint her. And I understand what your mom was doing there, but it is that thing about, so who did you spend your life pleasing?
- [12:01]
Erin Andrews
Oh, wow. Hoda. Bringing it. I think my mom and dad.
- [12:06]
Hoda Kotb
Yeah.
- [12:06]
Erin Andrews
Yeah. I never wanted to let them down, which is so interesting because the relationship. And if I could go back and I need to figure out how my parents did this, and I'd love to bring it back with Mac. Just seeing how other adults were back in the day with their parents. We were open about everything. I mean, we laugh. Now, my sister and I are very, very tight about how I ruined a Saturday breakfast. We went to our favorite spot in Tampa. It was this Mexican buffet so you could get, you know, American breakfast, but also some Mexican food as well. It was delicious. And I just had to sit down because I had heard my sister tried a cigarette at 10 years old. And I couldn't wait to tell my parents. And she's like, you just ruined breakfast for everyone. Why? But we had the relationship, and. And my parents didn't do anything, but looked at her and said, we're very disappointed at you. And she just started bawling at the table. And that's the relationship we had. We could tell them things. They wanted us to tell them things. We were very, very open, and we did not want to let our parents down. So. Yes. Wow. You put that together, baby.
- [13:12]
Hoda Kotb
But by the way, they did. Good, because I. You want your kids to have that feeling. Not just, oh, mom doesn't care, but to have the openness and also that. So sports. It's one thing to love.
- [13:21]
Erin Andrews
How did they do that? How did they get it? I know we were all so open about everything, but there's a lot of families that are. But kids don't want to tell their parents any. Anything. And I just did not. I didn't want to let him down. Here's another one, one last one. And I'll let you ask me another question. My. I was obsessed with basketball. I was obsessed with Charles Barkley. I wanted so badly. This is after Larry Bird retired him to beat Michael Jordan in the playoffs. And I was in high school, and I was being sassy to my mom. My dad came home, had a discussion with me about it. I didn't agree with what he said. He left my room. I made a comment under my breath. It wasn't obviously as quiet as I thought. He. All of a sudden, I heard a little knock at the door, and I was like, crap. He heard me. My dad came in and he said, the only thing I'm gonna do is I'm gonna take television and the radio away from you. He knew exactly why. Because the Phoenix Suns were in the NBA playoffs against Michael Jordan and the Bulls, and they were up in the series. And I was like, okay, I pissed my dad off, and now I can't watch Charles Barkley eventually lose. But my parents were so good at hitting us where it. No, don't take that away.
- [14:32]
Hoda Kotb
Who was the cheerleader of your parents and who was the disciplinarian?
- [14:37]
Erin Andrews
Dad was always away, right? My dad was working at an NBC affiliate in Tampa. He did, you know, his hours were crazy. You guys don't. We don't have hours, right? So my mom was home with us. So she always felt like, you know, we were always so excited with dad. Cause she was with us all day, and I get where she felt with that. So dad, cheerleader, mom, disciplinarian. But when dad heard about it, he was pissed.
- [15:00]
Hoda Kotb
He was pissed. So you. You love sports. You're in. You go into college in. In your high school yearbook, did they write, like, you're going to be on espn? Did they already know?
- [15:09]
Erin Andrews
Yeah, they did. They. Well, you have great researchers, Hoda. Yeah, no, somebody wrote in my yearbook, I'll see you on espn. I just kind of thought, crazy. Two different worlds. I was either gonna be a marine biologist. What? I was obsessed with whales. We went in Seattle. My dad had done a bunch of stories about killer whales and obviously theme parks and so forth. And he won a bunch of awards. And we decided as a family we were going to go and we were going to go see them in the wild in Seattle. And we had an incredible experience. And I was just like, this is my mission. That or I want to work sports. It was like, whoa, girl. Two different curriculums. So, yeah, they wrote in my yearbook, I'll see you on espn.
- [15:56]
Hoda Kotb
Did you believe, like, did you believe that was a strong possibility for you?
- [16:00]
Erin Andrews
I did, because I think Hoda. And looking back on it, I was so naive about how competitive. I grew up in this industry, but I was so naive about how competitive it really is. I didn't think that there was any other option. I think because I was born into this industry. I had watched my dad do this 6 o' clock and 11 o' clock news. We went and sat on the desk, you know, when we'd pick him up to go out to dinner. I just thought, yeah, it's just the way it is.
- [16:25]
Hoda Kotb
That's the way it is.
- [16:26]
Erin Andrews
I can't figure out if that was a great way to believe or not, because if I had, you know, had a hard time getting in, I. I'm interested how I would have responded. But, yeah, no, I think I'm proud of myself that even though, you know, I had an in getting in. Leslie Visser had always said, you know, being a female or having a connection will get your foot in the door, but that doesn't help you stay. So, I mean, I. Maybe that's why I am so relentless in terms of, like, okay, how do we get better? How do we, you know, add more, do so. Yeah. I always thought that this was the path.
- [16:59]
Hoda Kotb
How long did your dad work in Tampa?
- [17:02]
Erin Andrews
My dad worked in Tampa. Gosh, I should know this. 30 something years. He retired. It was very sad. He Covid. My dad had a massive heart attack. He had like six, maybe six or three to six months left on his contract before he was supposed to retire. And then after that, we were like, dad, it's time. You need to put you first. So he didn't really get to go out the way he wanted, which how many of us get to anyways? But, yeah, he was there forever. It was amazing. And it's pretty funny, sometimes I run into a lot of people that my dad worked with in Tampa, and, you know, they're like, we miss your dad. And he can't watch the 6 o' clock or 11 o' clock news without getting fired up about the rundown. Or it's like, dad, don't give yourself another heart attack. Relax.
- [17:51]
Hoda Kotb
Oh, wow. Wow. I didn't know that. I didn't know that's how your dad's career kind of came to a close. Yeah, you don't. You're right. You don't always get everything you want at the end. But it sounds like that he had such a great, incredible run.
- [18:03]
Erin Andrews
Oh, he did.
- [18:04]
Hoda Kotb
So you decide you want to go into sportscasting. You're kind of familiar with the thing. It is a man's world. Sorry. And you knew that. So what did you face? I mean, you know, your eyes wide open. You seem like you get along well with the guys, but how did you navigate those kind of funky waters?
- [18:21]
Erin Andrews
I think when I first started, I was just so excited. And I just wanted to do much, like now as much as I could. My dad kind of taught me, don't say no, do it. Do everything. And then you'll fall into where you know you're supposed to be. I just was so excited. I never really worried about murky waters in terms of being the only woman around or, you know, being treated differently or any of that. I was just like full speed ahead. I couldn't wait to do everything. And thankfully it all came so fast and with great guidance from my dad. I mean, there were hard times. I remember I was telling this story the other day. My dad was helping me with a bunch of my standups that I was doing. I was first hired by the Tampa Bay Lightning in my town I was raised in. My dad, like I said, was working for the NBC affiliate. I was traveling with the team. It was awesome for a 21 year old out of college. I'm on charter jets, I'm at the Four Seasons, the Ritz. I mean, this really wasn't something a 21 year old should do. Hoda. We got $75 a day in cash and per diem. And my broadcasters that I was there with, you know, our play by play and our analysts for the team, they weren't going to let me pay at all for anything. So I was coming home and making car payments on my Jetta in cash. You know, I was like, I got all this pretty. But I was living with my mom and dad, which was the smart thing to do, I thought, you know, But I also. It was funny but sad. I felt like a fraud because my dad was writing a lot of my hits. I was like, dad, how should I say this? And he would take it and look at it and be like, let me play with it. Let me play with it a little. And one day I called him and I said, I'm a fraud. I feel like it's like the movie Roxanne and I'm your mouthpiece and you're writing it. And, you know, he just said, aaron, I'm just helping you see the structure, see how it's supposed to be. Now. I get it. I do exactly, you know, the same thing for my kid. But yeah, it was. I got a lot of help.
- [20:23]
Hoda Kotb
It'd be confessional, though, to say that to. Because I think we all feel like pretenders a little bit, no matter how long we've been in this industry. But to say to your dad, I feel like a fraud, like you're doing my homework for me and I'm taking credit for it. That's a, that was a big statement and I love what he said.
- [20:41]
Erin Andrews
I still remember what was. I had to do a hit on the goaltender, Baptism under Fire. And I'm like, dad, I would never say that. And he's like, say it it sounds so good. It's like such a producer, Hoda. I would come home from these road trips. It was so special and things I'll never forget. You know, we'd be gone, you know, five days, six days out of the week because you'd hit all the different teams in the city, and I was still in my bed that I, you know, grew up in. Go home, get home in the middle of the night. And there'd be legal pads on my bed from each game. My dad would take notes and just say, this was great, but slow down a little. I would have said this differently. Like, it was really, really a cool experience. Even now, like, I mean, I don't even want to think about the day that it doesn't happen. But my dad texts me throughout all of my football games. Like, you know, great hit with Dak. Find out about this at the half from McCarthy. The one time my dad hasn't been for my football game was. It was week one, Seattle at Green Bay, years ago. It was when I remember going to bed that night in Green Bay and my mom packing up our house because a massive hurricane was about to come. My dad was still working for Channel 8 at the time, and he was, you know, doing the hours that you guys do when a hurricane or a massive story is coming. And my mom is wrapping everything up, and she's getting ready to go to a shelter. My dad's at the station, and he. We just. It was awful. I remember calling my parents in the morning and crying, and my dad couldn't. He always text me before the game and during the game, and he just didn't. And the national anthem's going on, and I'm just thinking about, where the hell is my dad? I hope he's okay. And Joe Buck comes back on and goes, hey, we're thinking about everybody in Tampa, including Aaron Andrews family. And I start crying, and then I have to do my hit. And then Aaron Rodgers, when he was on the packers, he knew my parents were in Tampa. And he looks at me and he goes, how's your parents? I was like, I don't know. But third quarter, my dad started texting, and he's like, the storm missed us. We're good. I'm locked in. You know, how are they running the ball? My dad, thank God.
- [22:45]
Hoda Kotb
Okay, you have. I mean, talk about a number one. I always feel like we each only need one person to be wildly successful. Your one is. I mean, your mom's amazing, too, but your one is so obvious and clear. Coming up, Aaron opens up about the trial that you shook her and her family to their core. Plus her battle with cervical cancer. Stay with us. Hey everybody, it's Babs from Brunch with Babs. And do I have a tip for you. If you share my passion for classic style and joyful living, you're going to love Birch Lane. Their timeless furniture. Furniture and decor is carefully crafted to bring joy to your home for years to come, just like the memories you make there. Plus it's delivered fast and free. Shop my hand picked Birch Lane collection and more classic styles@birchlane.com Go back to school deliciously with Whole Foods Market Wake up with low priced 365 by Whole Foods Market protein waffles and breakfast burritos. Prep lunchboxes quickly with 365 brand juice boxes, crackers, dried fruit and more. And look for sales on no antibiotics ever. Ground beef and chicken breasts that make meal prep a breeze. Shop best in class finds for Back to school at Whole Foods Market in store and online.
- [24:15]
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- [25:17]
Hoda Kotb
I mean, I was thinking about there are like moments in our lives that are defining. You know, yours is, you know, when you first got your first professional job, that was one obviously. And the other one was, which is how a lot of people came to know you, which was that horrible incident that you endured with that disgusting guy who Stalker. The stalker who did the videotaping of you. And I was thinking about he's since subsequently went to jail and all those things. However, to be a person who is number one in the spotlight, number two, a pleaser, number three, you like to do things right? All of that combined together, I was just imagining how you stepped out into the World after that, after having endured that.
- [26:02]
Erin Andrews
Yeah, I, that's something in my life I wish I have. I know I still need to go into therapy for it and deal with the ptsd. Even at this level, I'm doing a lot better. But that is the one thing when you talk about my parents that really like gets me every time. Because the phone call I made that day to my parents when I found that video, and you know, this was unheard of at the time, so much so that the media and a lot of people pinned this on me. I mean, people thought it was a scandal. And I, you know, I'm the square from high school. I don't do those things. I knew the second I got the phone call from my friend at Sports Illustrated that he said, there's this video. And I said, no, there's not. I don't do that. I'm single. I don't have that going on in my life. He's like, aaron, it's you. And when I saw it and I called my parents, my, my dad says he thought I had been in a car accident because I was just screaming. And I feel so bad. I mean, my parents were incredible. I was got in my 30s when that happened and I resorted to acting like a 15 year old because in terms of not wanting to deal, my parents really, they were on the forefront. They dealt with the legal team, they dealt with getting me to an FBI team, getting people to listen and pay attention, that it was real. And that is where most of my pain comes from, is that my poor parents had to deal with that. It brought on a lot of stress. My dad was diagnosed with prostate cancer right after my trial, which. Don't tell me that that's not a coincidence. You know, I remember one day after my dad had his heart attack, my sister and I, you know what you do? You go back to your parents house, you try to straighten up, get it all ready before they come home from the hospital. And I remember seeing these pills and asking my sister what they were and she was like, well, they're anxiety medicine. And I was like, well, why are they on them? And she's like, well, they had taken them ever since you your trial. And I was like, oh God, you just feel so bad, you know, but that's what great parents do. They take the weight, they take the brunt of it for their kid. And my par are amazing. I remember this one time we were having this moment at the trial and we didn't even think this thing would go to trial because we Just were like, there's no way that this is going to happen. They're going to settle. This was, you know, obviously, when we. We went head to head with the hotel that let him near me and gave him my information. And we never thought. And then once it looked like they weren't going to settle, we went to trial. And my mom and dad are like, are you okay? And I should have said, are you okay to do this? Because it's a lot to see your kid, you know, sitting there and hearing all this information. And. And I remember one day we had a really, really bad day at trial. Not because of any of the information, but there was a. We had heard rumors, and it was all. It was captured all over the media that one of the people on the opposing side was actually caught at a restaurant that night watching the video. And a server had turned them in and to the media and so forth. And I felt like I was having a nervous breakdown in court when we heard about this. Like, it was just a joke even till that part. And I don't remember if court. We were excused early that day or we went home, but I remember we had to get something at the drugstore. And we left the courtroom and we walked to a drugstore before we walked to the hotel. And I just looked at my mom and I said, I'm having a nervous breakdown. I'm having a panic attack. And she's like, are you okay? And I said, I'm not okay, Mom. And I remember snapping at her and I said, how can I be okay that this is happening? And she looked at my dad and she's like, we gotta go. And I just. Like, those are moments that I just feel so bad for my parents that they dealt with that. But they're. They're so amazing. But, yeah, that part of the whole thing, despite what it did for me mentally, it's just hard what it did to my parents because we are so tight, you know, and that was a lot for them.
- [29:49]
Hoda Kotb
Do you feel like. I know you said you want to get. You wanted to, you know, get more therapy about it. Do you feel like you are on the other side of that, or is it. Does it just pop up?
- [29:59]
Erin Andrews
Yeah, I feel like I'm on the other side. I used to walk around stadiums, Hoda, and, you know, yesterday we were laughing as we were leaving at and T Stadium, because people were like, aaron, Aaron, take a picture. Take a picture. My handheld photographer said, do you feel like an animal sometimes? And I said, I wish sometimes they would mix in a. Please but you do it. Cause you're like, how long is this gonna last? Right? And whatever. You don't wanna be the jerk that doesn't take the picture, but I like feeling that way. Versus. I used to walk in the stadiums and, you know, we're there with 70, 80,000 people. And I thought, every single one of these people have seen me naked. And I was like, when am I gonna stop feeling like that? I used to make jokes about it to coaches or players or. Oh, yeah, well, I know you've seen. It's like, you didn't have to do that. You know, like, we get it. It's a. It was a horrific thing that happened that I didn't bring on myself. So I think I'm on the other side of it in terms of some things. But I have moments. My. One of my best girlfriends knows this about me. Anytime it looks like my password has been hacked or anytime I get a notification, anything with hacking of security, I instantly lose all feeling in my body and I start to panic. And I'm grateful for somebody that works with me that I'll call her right away. And I'm like, it's happening. It's happening. And she's like, okay, okay, let's look at the account. It's the whole privacy, the violation thing that I have a very hard time with. I have a hard time with the word stalker. I don't do well with that word because I just hate it. But, yeah, certain things like that. But other things, I'm really great.
- [31:37]
Hoda Kotb
Well, I think. I mean, I do think you talked about your dad getting ill after that, and then after the trial and, you know, after all that happened, you, too, were sick.
- [31:47]
Erin Andrews
Yeah.
- [31:47]
Hoda Kotb
Do you. When you think about that time in your life, do you connect dots or do you think those are two separate things?
- [31:54]
Erin Andrews
I don't. You know this better than anyone. With everything you've gone through, stress brings on horrible things in your body. It really does. And I think anything that may be going on in your body, it's like acne. It just brings it out. It's like going to a facial, and then you're like, wait a second. Why do I have four cystic zits on my face? Yeah, I think the stress really did. I also think, you know, I was trying to do IVF at the time and every. And I just think it was like the perfect, you know, perfect timing of just an explosion.
- [32:25]
Hoda Kotb
Where did you find relief? Like, where did you go for peace? Where did you go so your heart could rest? Like, where did you Find that, that time, that place.
- [32:37]
Erin Andrews
As wild as it is, because that's where I was, you know, dealing with a lot of my PTSD and having to travel again in hotels, my job, my. My family. And I don't know how it is with you guys on the Today Show. I. I love my. My real life blood, family, but my work family is my everything. I mean, we were talking the other day. Not a lot of people made dinner the other night. Our play by play is doing the World Series. So it was, like, really discombobulated on Sunday when we all finally saw other on the field. And I just said out loud, I hate this. I don't like when we don't have our meetings and we don't have our team dinner on Saturday night. I've missed you guys. I just felt comfort in being on the field with the athletes and being back with my team. It's kind of the same way I dealt with cervical cancer that year. I didn't tell anyone. I didn't want to miss a game. I just wanted to be on the field. I just wanted to work. That's probably really unhealthy because I didn't want to think about it, but that was really the only way I knew I could recover and kind of get by.
- [33:40]
Hoda Kotb
So you went through that period and very few people knew about it. You just went about your business of work, and people didn't look at you with those sad eyes. That's probably another reason.
- [33:50]
Erin Andrews
I just didn't want to talk about my cervix. When I was covering football, I was the only girl. We talked about it the other night with our crew. We were talking about Dak Prescott and some of his biggest moments. And I said, yeah, it was Green Bay. At Green Bay. You know, he was huge in that game. And somebody said, wow, why do you have such a good memory? And I said, because I had half of my cervix cut out two days before that. And I remember being at the practice with all of you, and one of you guys said to me, are you okay? You don't look good. And I was thinking to myself, I don't feel good at all. I shouldn't be here.
- [34:22]
Hoda Kotb
But, yeah, against doctor's orders. But you're right. Sometimes your mental health needs to, like, run first. After the break, Erin reflects on her journey to motherhood and what life is like with a baby boy. Stay with us.
- [34:42]
Erin Andrews
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Hoda Kotb
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Erin Andrews
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- [35:13]
C
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- [35:43]
Hoda Kotb
At RXBar they believe in simple nutrition without the BS. That's why they said NO to artificial ingredients and yes to deliver intentional transparent nutrition. Try their original 12 gram protein bar, the Nut Butter and Oat bar or Minis RXBar, the proud sponsor of no BS. Use code RXBar on RXBar.com for 25% off, subject to full terms and conditions and to change. Valid until September 30, 2025 and may not be combined with other offers. See rxbar.com for full details and limitations. So you've throughout all this stuff, you wanted a child. And I know that that was something. Is that something you've always wanted? Did it come to you after college before, while you're working? When did you decide that motherhood was in the cards for you?
- [36:36]
Erin Andrews
I think I always knew I wanted to be one just because we had such a great childhood and were so tight with our parents and, you know, we wanted to drink around the world at Epcot center with our kid at one point, like my parents do with us and, you know, just do the little things that we grew up doing and. Yeah, but my life was different. I just, my career just blew up in terms of me doing so many different things at so many different times and I hadn't met the one and I met him late and then, you know, he so badly wanted to have a kid. I knew I wanted to have a baby, but it wasn't really until I met my husband and, you know, we settled into our life together that I realized, yeah, let's have a family.
- [37:21]
Hoda Kotb
And was the idea of having a baby, did you think it would come easily or did you? You did. Yeah.
- [37:27]
Erin Andrews
Cause everything, right?
- [37:28]
Hoda Kotb
Yeah.
- [37:29]
Erin Andrews
Yeah.
- [37:30]
Hoda Kotb
So that's an interesting thing. So you struggle and you're Unable to have a child. You've tried and tried. Did you think maybe this is one of those things that's not in the cards for me? Because you could look at your life and say, I got a great life. I got an incredible man. I got great parents. I got a job. I got everything. Not God going to say, you don't get every everything. So maybe this was the hand I was dealt.
- [37:53]
Erin Andrews
No. I knew that I would have a baby at some point, whatever path it would be. I knew we were going to get one, but I felt like I hadn't exhausted every option to quit. You know, why not jab myself another time and just go do another ultrasound and retrieval? Let's see how it goes. But, yeah, I just. I felt like I just couldn't give up.
- [38:14]
Hoda Kotb
Tell me about Mac. Tell me about the day that that little boy came into the world.
- [38:19]
Erin Andrews
Well, we were out. We knew that they were going to break our surrogate's water because she was such a good home. Her past pregnancies, she had carried her babies to full term. And so we knew the day that he was gonna come. So we wanted to give her her time at the hospital until it was time to get there. We went, we said hello, we got out of her hair. We left her alone until it was, you know, time for us to be there. We tried to go have, like, a nice lunch, and then we got a text. All right, we're gonna start rolling. I went to open the car door at lunch as we were leaving, and I whacked myself in the head. So all of Mac's like, welcome to the world, Mac pictures. I have a bruise and an open sore on my head. That was great. So we got to the hospital, and, yeah, I mean, it was. It was fast. It was wild and fast and beautiful and exact how we had hoped the experience would be. And that had everything to do with our beautiful surrogate. And then we just got this little baby that looked like Mr. Magoo, and now we just laugh at what he's become. So. Yeah.
- [39:34]
Hoda Kotb
And who taught you how to do all the things like to give the bath, to change the diapers?
- [39:39]
Erin Andrews
I was learning on the fly. I read the books. I read books that my girlfriends had suggested, but I don't know about you. I felt like once they came, everybody said, none of us know what we're doing. It's okay, so. And, yeah, it's the same thing. When they give you this baby, you're like, what?
- [39:54]
Hoda Kotb
Huh?
- [39:55]
Erin Andrews
What am I doing? It was funny, though, for my husband, you Know, being an athlete and me being around players and coaches and knowing routines and discipline. It was like, the first night he came home, before we had any sort of guidance, we're like, okay, it's three hours. What do we do now? Let's feed him. Let's burp him. Let's check his diaper. And it was like a team. And this nurse saw us, like, acting that way in the hospital room, and she goes, oh, you guys. Or be great together. And I wanted to be like, lady, this is night one. Relax. We don't know how we're gonna be.
- [40:24]
Hoda Kotb
I remember they handed Hayley to me, and I was flying home, and they were like, oh, and here's a bag of Pampers. I was like, a bag of Pampers. And here's some. Here's a formula.
- [40:32]
Erin Andrews
Flying home, Hoda. That's amazing. Our friends did that, too. And I was like, we were panicked on a drive. I can't imagine a flight. Hoda freaking out.
- [40:41]
Hoda Kotb
And also, like, I was holding her. All the pictures of me holding her. She's practically slung over my shoulder. No, I didn't even know how to do it. I was. I was like, is this too high off the edge?
- [40:49]
Erin Andrews
Yes. But you're right.
- [40:51]
Hoda Kotb
We learn as we go. So do you feel like when you look at your life now through this lens, do you feel complete? Is there still more to come when it comes to family? Have you exhaled or what?
- [41:07]
Erin Andrews
I definitely haven't exhaled. I need to start doing it. And I love that you started this conversation with the enchanted story and exhaling. And I love to sing to him the Lion King song. I'm gonna be a mighty king, because I just. He starts cracking up and laughing about it. So those are my enchanted exhale moments. But, no, because now we're thinking, okay, like, we want to get Mac a sibling, and surrogacy takes a while, and when do we start the process? So. But I need to relax, and I think we all have gathered that in this podcast today. Aaron needs to relax. But, yeah, I need to exhale while I do it.
- [41:47]
Hoda Kotb
How do we call this podcast? Making space? Because I think we all should and need to. So if you had a day that was for you, Aaron, Max, being cared for by your mom, your husband's busy. There's not one sports event on your calendar. You have.
- [42:03]
Erin Andrews
Open your eyes.
- [42:04]
Hoda Kotb
The sun is rising, and it's Aaron's day, and you get to do what you want on this day. What would you. How would you. How would this day lay out for you?
- [42:17]
Erin Andrews
I Like, to do some of the things I always do, which is wake up. I go to the edge of the bed, and I put my face in my golden retriever's cheek, and I tell him how much I love him, and he's the bestest boy in the whole world. I cannot wait for a hot cup of coffee. I'm just addicted, and I'm obsessed. And I love looking at the water and on the sky. I am. I love doing a nice workout. Like a Pilates situation. Nothing where I'm dying. Like, being like, why did I do this to myself? And then I think, like, a nice, long walk on the beach. No, I do. And a great. Like, maybe like, after I've worked out a walk on the beach and meeting some girlfriends.
- [42:58]
Hoda Kotb
Yes.
- [42:58]
Erin Andrews
Let's just stay up for a boozy brunch. Yes.
- [43:02]
Hoda Kotb
By the way, sometimes that's all you need. And I think we do. We all have to take a break and say, I'm gonna make a little space. Erin, you are delightful.
- [43:11]
Erin Andrews
I love you, Hoda.
- [43:12]
Hoda Kotb
Your whole world. I mean, this is the beginning. I know that you're on this career path, but your whole career path is going. You have no clue how far it's going. I'm gonna say it, and I'm gonna keep saying it. Cause I've already manifested it for you, whether you manifest it or not. But one of these days, too, your career is gonna take a different path. And who knows? You might be right here on the set of the Today show, which is what I believe. So I'm just putting it out there in the world, because those things will happen.
- [43:39]
Erin Andrews
I love you. I would love nothing more than that. I would also love to what. What's your cocktail of choice? Are you a white wine? Or, like, if we were having a boozy brunch together, I would do.
- [43:50]
Hoda Kotb
I do a 1942 on the rocks. One rock, big, pour it over, sip it. Wait, so no, that's my jam. That is my jam. That or a mojito with lots of lime and lots of mint. Tons.
- [44:05]
Erin Andrews
Okay. I want to do that. And then I want to get on a cozy couch with you. And I want you to just tell me stories of your life. And then I feel like at the end, I'll just be nestled right into you. I feel like you rock.
- [44:16]
Hoda Kotb
You like I rock. Haley and Hope. That's it. We're done. We're done. But no kids are coming.
- [44:22]
Erin Andrews
I don't want them know.
- [44:24]
Hoda Kotb
Bye. All right, Aaron, I love you.
- [44:26]
Erin Andrews
Thank you. You're the best. I love you too. Thank you.
- [44:28]
Hoda Kotb
You got it. See you.
- [44:29]
Erin Andrews
Bye. Bye.
- [44:39]
Hoda Kotb
Hey guys, thank you so much for listening and for coming on this journey with me. If you like what you heard, and I hope that you do, please give Making Space a five star rating and review on Apple Podcast and make sure you tell your friends. Follow us on Apple Podcasts, Spotify or wherever you're listening right now. Making Space with Hoda Kotvi is produced by Alison Berger and Alexa Casavecchia, along with Amanda Sidman and Christina Mana. Our production assistant is Megan Sileo. Our associate audio engineer is Juliana Mastro Rilli. Our audio engineers are Bob Mallory and Catherine Anderson. Original music by John Estes. Bryson Barnes is our head of audio production. Missy Dunlop Parsons is our executive producer. Charisse Williams Laredo is our senior producer.
- [45:35]
C
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- [45:39]
Erin Andrews
Been on hold to make a doctor's appointment for 23 minutes now. Now, the automated voice has told me 47 times that my call is very important to them. H I'm starting to think that they don't think my call is important at all.
- [45:54]
C
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