TODAY Presents: The Parent Chat with Dylan Dreyer – Ashley Graham

Summary

Podcast Summary: Making Space with Hoda Kotb

Special Series: TODAY Presents: The Parent Chat with Dylan Dreyer – Ashley Graham
Date: April 2, 2026
Host: Dylan Dreyer (guest hosting for Hoda Kotb)
Guest: Ashley Graham

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Overview

This episode offers a vibrant, relatable look into the joys and chaos of "boy mom" life, featuring an open, funny, and heartfelt conversation between TODAY’s Dylan Dreyer and model/activist Ashley Graham. Both mothers of three boys, they discuss parenting strategies, the rollercoaster of raising sons, fostering good habits, sibling dynamics, and the bittersweet question of whether they ever wished for daughters. The energy is candid, reassuring, and often humorous—creating a judgment-free space that normalizes the daily messes and victories of parenting.

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Key Discussion Points & Insights

1. The Bond of Being a “Boy Mom”

• Connection in Shared Experience:
  • Both Dylan and Ashley have three boys, which is rare; they immediately bond over the unique intensity of their households.
  • “I don't meet many people that have three boys living in their house.” – Ashley (00:36)
• Strength in Motherhood:
  • “Don't you feel pretty like badass having three boys?” – Dylan (00:41)
  • “I feel like I have like, I'm going to have like my own security guards pretty soon... I walk through like the queen.” – Ashley (00:43)

2. Parenting for the Future: Raising Good Men

• Instilling Manners and Responsibility:
  • Both are intentional about teaching their sons respect, politeness, and practical skills.
  • “We are working on manners—opening the door for mom or grandma...making sure people that are older than you are going ahead.” – Ashley (01:03)
  • Dylan focuses on fostering independence:
    • “I'm teaching my boys to cook...trying to work in more laundry. At least separating the laundry.” (01:33)
• A North Star for Parenting:
  • “I said thank you to my mother-in-law...for making an amazing man that is my husband...that's what I want. I want their wives to come to me and say thank you.” – Ashley (01:20)

3. Navigating Messes and Housework

• Toilet Training & Household Chores:
  • The conversation gets real about the messes unique to having boys, specifically around keeping the bathroom clean.
  • “What's your toilet situation looking like? Because mine has dry pee all over it.” – Ashley (01:43)
  • Both believe in accountability and having their kids clean up after themselves:
    • “If the toilet seat is up...I will say, who did it? Fess up… Make them march back to the bathroom and put the seat down, wash your hands…” – Ashley (02:09)
    • On laundry: “At least put them in the laundry basket...I'm trying to work these little lessons in so that they are just better, cleaner human beings in the future.” – Dylan (02:31)
• Kids’ Secret Willingness to Help:
  • “Kids actually really like to help, you know...they’ll do more than you think they'll do.” – Ashley (03:00)

4. Sibling Dynamics & Birth Order

• Oldest Child Responsibilities:
  • Both admit to placing more expectations on their eldest sons.
  • “I'm very much like, Calvin, you’re the older brother… just give it to him. Right? Just do it.” – Dylan (03:19)
  • “I say, you're the oldest…you're the more responsible one.” – Ashley (03:34)
• Twins and Unspoken Rankings:
  • Ashley hasn’t told her twins which was born first to avoid hierarchy, yet the typical behaviors still emerge.
  • “At the end of the day, they are acting in their birth order, and it is wild to me how it just happens.” – Ashley (03:50)

5. The Mischief of the Oldest

• Pot-Stirring & Family Games:
  • The older boys often act as instigators, but not always the culprits.
  • “He's the instigator...not going to do the bad thing, but he's going to let everybody else do the bad thing.” – Dylan (04:26)
• Cyclical Parenting Lessons:
  • Ashley notes her own tendencies as a child are repeating through her son, Isaac.
  • “That’s you. You would do that. And it's like, there's no solve.” – Ashley (04:53)

6. Joys & Challenges of Being a Boy Mom

• Unexpected Passions & Simple Joys:
  • Ashley embraces the chaos, finding herself more laid-back at home and discovering new interests through her sons.
  • “When I'm home, I'm like, crocs, hair is not brushed, no makeup...the boys are like, let’s wrestle. There is this boy energy in me...” – Ashley (05:30)
• Making Space for Tender Moments:
  • They create rituals, like “tea time” with their sons—even if it’s more casual or silly.
  • “We do tea time...we'll put stuffed animals around and we'll go into a circle...it's kind of like tea time with the girls.” – Ashley (05:55)

7. Wishing for a Daughter?

• Honest Reflections:
  • Both acknowledge a hope for a daughter, but also deep gratitude for their families as they are.
  • “Did you ever want a girl?” – Dylan (06:13)
  • “Oh yeah...when they told me it was two boys...my husband's not gonna let me have a fourth one.” – Ashley (06:14)
• Timing and Acceptance:
  • Dylan shares she’d have had more kids if she started younger, while Ashley talks about her set family plan and lessons in gratitude.
  • “I told Justin I wanted to be done at 35...and guess what? God gave me exactly what I wanted.” – Ashley (06:36)
  • “Be grateful for what you asked for because you've been given it. Don't, like, go and chance it.” – Ashley (06:57)

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Notable Quotes & Memorable Moments

• Ashley Graham (00:43):
  “I feel like I have like, I'm going to have like my own security guards pretty soon...I walk through like the queen.”
• Ashley Graham (01:20):
  “I want their wives to come to me and say thank you [for raising amazing men]. So that's like a North Star for me.”
• Ashley Graham (02:09):
  “If the toilet seat is up...I make them march all the way back to the bathroom and put the seat down, wash your hands and say, ‘Don't do it again.’”
• Dylan Dreyer (03:19):
  “Calvin, you’re the older brother… just give it to him. Right? Just do it.”
• Ashley Graham (05:30):
  “When I'm home, I'm like, crocs, hair is not brushed, no makeup...the boys are like, let’s wrestle. There is this boy energy in me...”
• Ashley Graham (06:57):
  “Be grateful for what you asked for because you've been given it. Don't, like, go and chance it.”

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Timestamps for Important Segments

• 00:36–00:54: Feeling proud and strong as a mom of three boys
• 01:03–01:33: Intentional parenting and teaching manners
• 01:43–02:31: Real-talk on household messes, especially with boys
• 03:19–03:34: Oldest child taking more responsibility
• 03:50–04:26: Birth order dynamics with twins
• 05:30–05:55: Home life v. work life, embracing chaos
• 06:13–06:57: Hopes for a daughter, family planning, acceptance

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Tone and Style

The tone is warm, candid, relatable, and supportive—mirroring the easy, vulnerable, and often comedic honesty of real-life mom conversations. Both speakers model acceptance of imperfection and the value of connection over perfection.

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Final Thoughts

This episode is a reassurance to parents everywhere, especially those raising all boys, that the chaos is normal, the joys are deep, and humor, intentionality, and grace go a long way. Dylan and Ashley offer comfort, solidarity, and actionable anecdotes, making listeners feel seen and uplifted.

Transcript

[A]

Hey, everyone, it's Dylan Dreyer from the Today Show. Excuse my voice. Today, spring allergies are in full swing and I am feeling it. But I am so excited to let you hear a little bit of my new podcast, the Parent Chat. It's a judgment free zone where I get to talk with other parents and friends about the wild, wonderful and messy world of parenting. You're about to hear the first few minutes of my conversation with Ashley Graham on being boy moms. I hope you enjoy it. Hi, Ashley.

[B]

Hi.

[A]

Thank you so much for talking boy mom stuff because it's so nice to relate to another boy mom. You have three.

[B]

Three. And you have three.

[A]

And I have three.

[B]

And I don't meet many people that have three boys living in their house.

[A]

Don't you feel pretty like badass having three boys?

[B]

Yes, I do. I feel like I have like, I'm going to have like my own security guards pretty soon. And then like I walk through like the queen. There's like a hair blow moment that that moment's coming.

[A]

It is.

[B]

I need to train them. We need to start.

[A]

I am training them to be the perfect men.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

Like, do you notice? Do you think about that?

[B]

So we are working on manners.

[A]

Yes.

[B]

And like opening the door for mom or grandma or like, you know, making sure people that are older than you are going ahead or whatever. But then my biggest goal is one that I did was I said thank you to my mother in law. It was like totally like out of nowhere. And I was just like, thank you for making an amazing man that is my husband. And I thought, oh my God, that's what I want. Like, I want their wives to come to me and say thank you.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

So that's like a North Star for me.

[A]

Yeah. I'm teaching my boys to cook. My oldest loves to cook. I trying to work in more laundry. At least separating the laundry.

[B]

They are doing some of the laundry with us too, which is so fun.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

How like, what's your toilet situation looking like? Because mine has dry pee all over it. We're still there.

[A]

So with my first, who's much better at it than the other two, I make him wipe the seat if he pees on it. Because now my youngest, he'll take like one little square of two ply toilet paper and like just dab it up. And she's like, how did you get them to wipe the seat? I'm like, cause it's unacceptable that if there's ever a moment I'm going to sit on the toilet and sit in there. Pee. It's just disgusting.

[B]

Yes. I. So I'm the mom that, like, if the toilet seat is up and I know they're somewhere playing, I will go and I will say, who did it? Fess up. Right now I'm like, come with me. And I make them march all the way back to the bathroom and put the seat down, wash your hands and say, don't do it again. So I'm a little. I'm not really the militant one. I try to be right. But with the toilet, for some reason, it's like, a thing.

[A]

Well. Cause it's gross. And you're the woman living in a house with boys, and it's not fair everywhere. Right. It's not fair, like, how gross they can be. And I do the same thing with their clothes. I'm always like, Calvin. And he knows that that's the one where you need to come right now because you took off your clothes and you just left them there. At least put them in the laundry basket. Like, I'm trying to work these little lessons in so that they are just better, cleaner human beings in the future.

[B]

Ours. They know to put everything in the washing machine. Close the door.

[A]

And it's funny because kids actually really like to help, you know, especially with BO Boys. It's easy as a mom to step in, but I think you. They'll. They'll do more than you think they'll do.

[B]

Your oldest is nine.

[A]

Yes.

[B]

And how are you treating him differently than, like, your baby?

[A]

Well, Calvin certainly has to take the blame for everything.

[B]

Oh, yeah.

[A]

I'm very much like Calvin. You're the older brother. Like, just give it. Just give it to him. Right? Just. Just do it. Just give it to him.

[B]

I feel bad for Isaac because that happens to him all the time. Okay. I'm glad you said that.

[A]

I know. It's just that's. And I'll actually say to him, you're the oldest, so that's just your lot in life.

[B]

Yeah. I say, you're the oldest. You know better. You're the more responsible one. It's only two years. He's only six.

[A]

I know, but still. So how does it work with twins? Do you find that they kind of go in their birth order?

[B]

Well, okay, so we haven't told them who was born first.

[A]

Okay.

[B]

And there is a full 2 hours and 7 minutes in between them. I know. So I'm really trying to not tell them. But here's the thing. At the end of the day, they are acting in their birth order, and it's it is wild to me how it just happens.

[A]

Right. They're raised in the same house at the same time.

[B]

My baby acts like a baby. The. Or the. The first twin acts like the oldest. And he's very like, you're going to do what I say when I say it. Yeah. And the oldest, he. He is like, I am the oldest brother, and I am the leader. And he wants to help, and he wants to help fix things, but he also wants to, you know, stir the pot.

[A]

About the pot stirring from the oldest, the most responsible. We were at dinner last night, and they're big into, like, jinxes right now. Like, if you say this, like, say the same word at the same time, say, jinx. Jinx. But then they can't talk until somebody says their name three times. And when Calvin gets jinxed, I'm like, nobody say Calvin's name. Like, you can't, because he's the instigator. He's the one that eggs everybody else on because he's not going to do the bad thing, but he's going to let everybody else do the bad thing.

[B]

So I'm the oldest, and I was always like, a little bit of the pot stir, too. And my mom would remind me of this now, raising Isaac, and she was like, that's you. You would do that. And it's like, there's no solve.

[A]

Right.

[B]

In my opinion. I mean, maybe there's help. Help. If there's a solve, tell me. I don't think there is, but it doesn't feel like there is. I mean, here we are, a whole other generation later. My mom's like, that's what you would do.

[A]

And it just happened so naturally.

[B]

Yeah. Yeah, I know.

[A]

What do you love about being a boy, mom?

[B]

I love that it's just like a different energy. I. Because of my job, it is like, I'm always getting dressed up. I'm always in hair and makeup. I'm always like, you know, trying on clothes and being, you know, quote unquote, girly.

[A]

Right.

[B]

And then when I'm home, I'm like, crocs. Hair is not brushed. Like, no makeup. Like, lucky, I have a bra. And the boys are like, let's wrestle. And there is this, like, boy energy in me where, like, I will throw down and I will get sweaty and it's time to go. And I never knew this much more about dinosaurs. I never.

[A]

There's a whole world of stuff that I never knew I would know all these things about.

[B]

Interesting.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

But we do do, like, tea time. It's not as formal as, like, maybe when I was a little girl, but, like, we'll put stuffed animals around and we'll, like, go into a circle and have fun with. Yeah. And we're all sipping a coffee and coffee. And we're like, so what did you learn today?

[A]

You know, it's like.

[B]

It's kind of like tea time with the girl.

[A]

Did you ever want a girl?

[B]

Oh, yeah. Oh, my gosh. When they told me it was two boys in there, I was like, my husband's not gonna let me have a fourth one. I just know it would. You want a fourth? Oh, yeah. I would have four and five.

[A]

Yeah. I wish I started younger because I would love to have just a whole brood of kids.

[B]

Right.

[A]

I love being a mom.

[B]

Wait, how old were you when you had your last.

[A]

When I had my last. So I'm 44 and he's 4, so I guess 40.

[B]

Okay. I told Justin I wanted to be done at 35 because I just know. I talked to my friends in their 40s, and they're like, I'm tired, Tired. And I know how I feel now at 38, just with three little dudes. So I told Justin I want to have three kids. I don't want a middle child, and I want to be done at 35. And guess what? God gave me exactly what I wanted.

[A]

That actually really works.

[B]

So I'm at this place where I'm like, okay, be grateful for what you asked for because you've been given it. Don't, like, go and chance it.

[A]

Thanks so much for listening. You can listen to the full episode with Ashley and other episodes on my show, the Parent Chat with Dylan Dreyer. New episodes are available every Thursday. Wherever you get your podcasts,

[C]

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