#133 - Friendship Myths

Summary

Podcast Summary: Man of the Year - Champions of Friendship Episode #133: Friendship Myths Release Date: May 27, 2025

---

Introduction

In Episode #133 of Man of the Year - Champions of Friendship, hosts Matt Ritter and Aaron Karo delve into the pervasive misconceptions surrounding friendship. Titled "Friendship Myths," this episode aims to debunk common beliefs that may hinder the formation and maintenance of meaningful relationships. Throughout the episode, Ritter and Karo share personal anecdotes, engage in thoughtful discussions, and provide insightful perspectives to help listeners navigate the complexities of friendships in today’s world.

---

Listener's Dilemma: Childhood Friends vs. Adult Friendships

The episode begins with a listener question that resonates with many: the anxiety of not maintaining childhood friendships due to life's changes and relocations.

• Matt Ritter (03:08): Discusses his personal experience of leaving a friend's backpack at school and the ensuing mess, highlighting his concern over lasting friendships.

• Aaron Karo (24:11): Addresses the listener's concern, emphasizing that making new "day one" friends at any stage in life is entirely possible and valid.

• Key Insight: Ritter and Karo reassure listeners that not having childhood friends doesn’t equate to personal failure. Instead, they promote the idea that friendships can be formed and cherished at any point in life, focusing on the quality and depth of connections rather than the duration.

---

Debunking Friendship Myths

Ritter introduces a list of eight commonly held beliefs about friendship, which the hosts proceed to examine critically.

1. Friendships Should Last Forever

   • Aaron Karo (11:42): Challenges the notion by comparing friendships to seasons, suggesting that just as seasons change, so can the dynamics of friendships.
   • Matt Ritter (12:27): Argues that friendships should adapt as individuals grow and change, emphasizing that an everlasting friendship isn’t realistic if it no longer serves both parties.

2. Good Friends Never Argue

   • Matt Ritter (09:35): Emphasizes that healthy friendships involve conflict resolution rather than complete avoidance of disagreements.
   • Aaron Karo (10:10): Suggests that good friends always strive to apologize and reach agreements even when they disagree.
   • Notable Quote (10:10): "Good friends try to come to some sort of agreement, even when they don't necessarily see eye to eye on something."

3. You Need a Large Circle of Friends to be Happy

   • Matt Ritter (14:06): Advocates for prioritizing close friendships over sheer quantity, suggesting that a few deep connections are more fulfilling.
   • Aaron Karo (15:18): Introduces their rule of thumb: proximity, quality, then quantity, highlighting that having a few close friends in the same city can be more beneficial than numerous distant acquaintances.
   • Notable Quote (16:23): "Our rule of thumb for friendship is proximity, then quality than quantity."

4. True Friends Have Everything in Common

   • Matt Ritter (17:30): Differentiates between interest-based and values-based friendships, arguing that shared values are more crucial than shared interests for deep connections.
   • Aaron Karo (18:21): Illustrates that friendships can thrive even with differing interests if there is mutual respect and understanding.

5. Online Friendships Can't Be as Real as In-Person Ones

   • Matt Ritter & Aaron Karo: Although not extensively discussed in the provided transcript, this myth is acknowledged as part of the broader conversation on friendship perceptions.

6. If a Friendship Ends, It Was a Failure or You're a Failure

   • Matt Ritter (13:11): Uses the analogy of death to explain that the ending of friendships, like all things, can feel final but doesn’t necessarily signify failure.
   • Aaron Karo (13:32): Shares a personal experience where a long-term friendship ended without it being a failure, reflecting on the positive aspects of past relationships.
   • Notable Quote (14:06): "A friendship is a failure if you spent 20 years getting abused by another friend."

7. Friendship Should Always Be Equal or 50/50

   • Discussion: While not deeply explored in the transcript, the concept likely ties into the earlier discussions on conflict resolution and the evolving nature of friendships.

8. Making Friends is Easy

   • Matt Ritter (19:40): Challenges the simplicity of making friends by emphasizing the role of purpose, goals, and alignment over the perceived ease or difficulty.
   • Aaron Karo (20:35): Reflects on the complexities of adulthood, suggesting that making and maintaining friendships often requires effort and intentionality.
   • Notable Quote (20:35): "Being an adult is, is the worst. Sometimes I can't even believe that we've been adults for 25 years."

---

Embracing New Friendships

Ritter and Karo underscore the importance of forming new friendships regardless of age, emphasizing that meaningful connections can be established at any stage of life.

• Aaron Karo (25:28): Introduces the concept of "day one" friends at any age, highlighting the potential for long-term friendships beyond childhood.

• Matt Ritter (26:00): Reflects on their own friendship, which began in second grade, and stresses that while childhood friendships are valuable, making new friends as adults is equally important and rewarding.

• Notable Quote (25:28): "You can make Day one friends at any time in your life."

---

Navigating Friendship Dynamics

The hosts discuss the evolving nature of friendships, particularly as life circumstances change.

• Aaron Karo (27:36): Shares an analogy comparing themselves to Mr. Belding from Saved by the Bell, illustrating how friendships span different stages of life and generational changes.

• Matt Ritter (31:07): Elaborates on the analogy, explaining that friendships endure through various life phases, much like the enduring character of Mr. Belding bridging different casts of the show.

• Key Insight: Friendship dynamics are fluid, and enduring friendships often require adaptability and understanding as individuals navigate different life stages.

---

Conclusion: Redefining Friendship Success

In wrapping up the episode, Ritter and Karo reiterate that the value of friendships lies not in their longevity or the number of friends one has, but in the depth and quality of the connections formed.

• Matt Ritter (33:11): Emphasizes that lifelong friendships are not the sole measure of success, acknowledging the importance of meaningful relationships formed later in life.

• Aaron Karo (34:01): Reinforces the non-competitive nature of friendships, celebrating their own long-term bond while recognizing and valuing newer friendships.

• Closing Quote (34:23): "Be good to yourself. Be good to your friends."

---

Key Takeaways

1. Flexibility in Friendships: Friendships evolve, and it's natural for some to end while others deepen as individuals grow.
2. Quality Over Quantity: A few close, meaningful friendships can be more fulfilling than numerous superficial ones.
3. Conflict as Growth: Healthy friendships involve navigating conflicts and resolving differences, strengthening the bond.
4. Continuous Friendship Building: It's never too late to form new, lasting friendships regardless of age or life stage.
5. Shared Values Matter: While common interests can spark friendships, shared values sustain them over time.

---

This episode serves as a valuable resource for anyone seeking to understand and improve their friendships by challenging and redefining long-held beliefs about what makes a relationship truly meaningful and enduring.

Transcript

[Oregon Lottery Representative]

In the summer, all of Oregon is our playground thanks to our incredible park system. That's why it's so cool that Oregon Lottery gameplay like video lottery or cash pop helps support tons of parks projects statewide like accessible trails at Silver Falls State park or upgrades to your favorite dog park in Newburgh. It's just one way a little lottery play for many Oregonians can add up to a lot of good the Oregon Lottery Together we do good things. Lottery games are based on chance and should be played for entertainment only. Must be 18 or older to play.

[Fidelity Representative]

Don't just ride the index, seek to outperform it with Felc, the Fidelity Enhanced Large CAP Core ETF. Unlike passive ETFs, FELC is run by a team of experts to adapt to market conditions and pursue upside potential wherever it's hiding. And while you get the potential outperformance of an actively managed fund, you can still buy and sell it on your terms just like any other ETF. Discover FELC, the Fidelity Enhanced Large Cap Core ETF part of Fidelity's suite of active ETFs. Learn more at fidelity.com felc before investing in any exchange traded fund, you should consider its investment objectives, risks, charges and expenses. Contact Fidelity for a prospectus and offering circular or if available, a summary prospectus containing this information. Read it carefully. While active ETFs offer the potential to outperform an index, these products may more significantly trail an index as compared with passive ETFs. Fidelity Brokerage Services LLC Member NYSE SIPC.

[Matt Ritter]

Man of the Year man of the Year man of the Year welcome to the number one friendship podcast in the country. I'm Matt Ritter.

[Aaron Caro]

Aaron I'm Aaron Caro.

[Matt Ritter]

Guys, check out our YouTube channel. Give us some love over there. We've been doing some really good shorts, getting a lot of funny comments. Get a lot of feedback on my lack of flossing apparently, or dental X rays which I'll stick to. Never gonna get them. Caro I have. I wouldn't say I have a rant. I have more of a social question. So I was at my school parking lot. This is very me and I left Brenner's backpack there the day before. Of course I left the backpack at school. So I was carrying his lunch without a backpack and his water bottle and pick him up. So of course I dropped his lunch on the ground in the parking lot and just total mess. I scraped up what I could. Okay. And then I took him to school and then I went back and there was like, I don't know, a Hand two handfuls of, like, pasta, tomatoes, and, like, avocado. And of course I look in my car, no towels, no napkins, no nothing. What am I obligated to do in that situation?

[Aaron Caro]

Matt? Can't believe I've hitched my wagon to you.

[Matt Ritter]

I'll tell you what I did. I did.

[Aaron Caro]

Wait, hold on, hold on. I have some follow up questions. Okay, number one, Brenner is two. Yeah. Okay. He has a backpack.

[Matt Ritter]

It's so cute. He's got a dinosaur backpack. They all walk into school. It's just a gimmick. No, but you know, you. You put your. You put your lunch and your water bottle in it. That's what.

[Aaron Caro]

Okay. Because did we. Did we have backpacks when we were two? We have probably had little.

[Matt Ritter]

We weren't in school when we were two.

[Aaron Caro]

Oh, this is earlier than we were going to school.

[Matt Ritter]

Yeah. Yeah.

[Aaron Caro]

Okay, so. And also, like, how did you drop this thing that exploded like that? What was it in?

[Matt Ritter]

It's just in a tin. And we used to have a band, and we lost the band, so now it's just in this tin. What do you mean, like a top? Where. Yes.

[Aaron Caro]

So this kid's got homemade pasta, avocado, and tomato. Can he eat himself?

[Matt Ritter]

Yeah, he has a fork. He's a fork.

[Aaron Caro]

Okay. Okay, got it. There's nothing you can do. You just run away.

[Matt Ritter]

Okay, that would be fine if it was a normal parking lot that I don't go to every day, though. This is my school parking lot.

[Aaron Caro]

But, I mean, somebody's gonna clean it up, right?

[Matt Ritter]

Well, that's what I'm asking. How do they clean park? Like, who cleans parking lots? And when do that?

[Aaron Caro]

I. I think there's a maintenance person who does that kind of thing.

[Matt Ritter]

So you think there's a person that walks around with what, like a hose or a broom and a dust bag kind of thing?

[Aaron Caro]

I mean, it's funny because I almost think we're taking opposite positions. You'd think I would be like, you have to go back. You have to scoop it up. I mean, it's. It's organic material. There's nothing you could do. It'll rain someone.

[Matt Ritter]

I just kept thinking, like, oh, man, they're gonna know there's cameras. They're gonna know it's me. They know what he eats. They're gonna be like, oh, who had the pasta, tomato, and avocado? Oh, that's Brenner's breakfast. And so I went back and I used one of those, like, Covid masks, and I scooped it up by the.

[Aaron Caro]

Way, what did he eat for lunch if he had lost his lunch?

[Matt Ritter]

Well, you didn't lose all of it. So I basically gave half of what wasn't. Didn't fall on the ground. And I told them. I'm like, I spilled half of his food on the ground for lunch. So if he's hungry, give him more food.

[Aaron Caro]

Do they have food?

[Matt Ritter]

They have snacks. They have, like, bars or bananas or something.

[Aaron Caro]

Right.

[Matt Ritter]

So.

[Aaron Caro]

Wow.

[Matt Ritter]

I'm actually shocked. I'm blown away.

[Aaron Caro]

Yeah.

[Matt Ritter]

Just because.

[Aaron Caro]

What do you. First of all, you know, how much must get dropped in a school parking lot every day? I'm sure someone cleans it up.

[Matt Ritter]

You know that part I didn't think I was like, oh, God, they're gonna get me. Like, you're right. That probably happens every single morning.

[Aaron Caro]

I mean, to me, not returning a shopping cart in a grocery store is worse than what you did.

[Matt Ritter]

Okay, good. So I feel better about. Okay, I. I feel better about myself now. I don't have a segue at all. I did good. I don't have a segue at all. But I think we need to address a topic that we've never addressed, that people are walking around with these huge mistakes in friendship. And I would say that one of the things we've never covered, that we need to cover is a little something I call friendship myths. Now, these are the things that we believe, most people believe to be true about friendship that they learned, I don't know, from childhood, from movies, from, you know, just the culture that are not actually true in reality, or they're true sometimes, but there's plenty of exceptions. And it's just something that I think, kind of out of habit, people do and walk around thinking because they've never been educated on what the truth is.

[Aaron Caro]

You, you big myth guy. You. You a Loch Ness Bigfoot guy.

[Matt Ritter]

No, none of it. I. I'm very anti conspiracy theory because I feel it always ends up leading to the Jews did it.

[Aaron Caro]

What about, you know, one. You know, one thing I don't know about you. I like that we're still learning about things. Are you. Are you a UFO guy? Alien guy?

[Matt Ritter]

Yeah.

[Aaron Caro]

So it doesn't exist.

[Matt Ritter]

Not anti. I'm not. I believe that there is likely life in the millions or billions of multiverses out there and. And, you know, solar systems, because there are other suns, and there's carbon and probably water and oxygen, all the elements for life. I think that most of the things that, you know, people are talking about are just cases, you know, of, like, hey, there's a smudge on your camera or you don't know what a plane looks like from 10,000ft in the air.

[Aaron Caro]

Yeah, yeah.

[Matt Ritter]

Like I thought three lights. I'm like, that's what it looks like when you look up at a plane in the sky. I saw chem trails. No, you just saw, you just saw the wake of a plane. So.

[Aaron Caro]

Okay, I'm with you on that. So let's talk, let's talk about some, some myths. Are there any?

[Matt Ritter]

I've got a list and I, I'm gonna go through the list. I'm just gonna just say what they are and then you and I can hone in on the ones that you think are worth addressing. So, number one, friendships should last forever. Number two, good friends never argue. Number three, you need a large circle of friends to be happy. Number four, making friends is easy. Number five, true friends have everything in common. Six, online friendships can't be as real as in person ones. Number seven, if a friendship ends, it was a failure or you're a failure. Number eight, friendship should always be equal or 50. 50. Those are some of, I think are universally the basic friendship myths that we hear from our listeners or that we just see out and about in the world. So I just wanted to get a kind of checkpoint with you of like, hey, which of those do you think we should address? Or do you agree with that? Those are all kind of myths, man.

[Aaron Caro]

These are, this is really hits hard. Some of these are really, really interesting and we've covered a lot of it. I. Let's, let's start with good. A myth is that good friends never argue.

[Matt Ritter]

I think it's super healthy to argue with your friends. We do it well. Obviously we're working on a business together and creatively, you know, I would say that, you know, there's some of them are arguments there. You know, I think arguing has a negative connotation to it that it doesn't need to have just by calling it arguing.

[Aaron Caro]

Well, it depends what's happening. I mean, if you're, if you're always constantly in a fight with one of your buddies, I mean, that is arguing.

[Matt Ritter]

Right. But I'm just saying, I think instead of saying good friends never argue, I think we should flip it as good friends engage in conflict resolution.

[Aaron Caro]

I was, I was literally going to say good friends always apologize. Something like that.

[Matt Ritter]

Right, right. Good friends try to come to some sort of agreement, even when they don't necessarily see eye to eye on something.

[Aaron Caro]

Yeah, exactly. I think a. I'm trying to think if I well, you know, we have some friends. I always think of. I've been thinking about Jeff lately, and that Jeff is, like, the most agreeable. I can never imagine ever being an argument with Jeff to a fault. Oh, really?

[Matt Ritter]

Maybe. I thought that's where you were going with it.

[Aaron Caro]

No, I, I was saying he's in a key. He, he, he's an exception that proves the myth.

[Matt Ritter]

Well, no, but I was gonna say. But maybe, maybe in his mind, we have to ask. I want to ask Jeff about this. Maybe we should get some agreeable, really agreeable people on, like Jeff, just because I think we should ask him. Honestly, like, do you feel that being so agreeable sometimes is to your detriment? You know, is there, is there a downside to it? Are you holding in stuff with your.

[Aaron Caro]

Friends that's really interesting? Also, I think we love Jeff, and I think that agreeable Jeff, we call him. But I wonder if he has friends who are less, I don't know. Good than us who take advantage of it.

[Matt Ritter]

I don't know. It's a good question. But I, I think the point was it's a myth that good friends never argue. I think it's healthy to engage in conflict resolution. How about this one? I, I think this one needs to be addressed. Friendships should last forever.

[Aaron Caro]

Well, the word should is doing a lot of work there. You know, you're big on. We've talked about this in the last episode about seasons of friendship. I mean, it would be nice. I mean, do you think romantic relationships should last forever?

[Matt Ritter]

That's a big one, Kara. That's a real big one. I think a lot. There's been a. Dudes. I. Listen, I, I, I do. Again, should. Right. I think you're right. The should. I think ideally you want them to, but I, I just, you know, should. That's a tough one here, like, because people change and grow. And so if your romantic partner or your best friend doesn't change or grow with you, to know they shouldn't last forever because then they're no longer serving you.

[Aaron Caro]

I mean, I think it dovetails with the other myth, which is that if a friendship ends, it was a failure. I don't. Of course not. I mean, you know, that's an incredible relationship that you had. You went through ups and downs. I mean, it depends how it ended. If it ended because you, if you slept with your friend's wife, then maybe it's a failure. But, you know, I think you gotta, I think is, Is there any analogy to make with death?

[Matt Ritter]

Yes. I think that's Great. Kiro. The analogy is that all things that end. The. Sorry. The analogy is that the. The analogy is that the end of things always generally feels bad.

[Aaron Caro]

Right.

[Matt Ritter]

Right. I mean, a certain finality and, you know, I just think the termination of something most of the time, unless you've won something. Right. And even winning things, I think people say, even champions say, it feels empty. Right. Once it's gone, once it's over, it's over.

[Aaron Caro]

I mean, I know we mentioned him briefly in the last episode, but my friend, she. We were almost best friends from 2001 to 2015. Do I feel that friendship was a failure? No.

[Matt Ritter]

Right. It was a great friendship for that time in your life. Great friendship.

[Aaron Caro]

I actually look back on it pretty. Pretty fondly.

[Matt Ritter]

Right.

[Aaron Caro]

But if you asked me that, I think eight years ago, I don't know if I'd say that, you know.

[Matt Ritter]

Yeah. I think it's only a failure if you never got anything out of it. Right. A friendship is a failure if you spent 20 years getting abused by another friend.

[Aaron Caro]

Right, Right, exactly. I mean, you learn just like a. Learn from a breakup, you know, you learn from your past friendships. What about this? We talked about this way back in the day, that you need a large group of friends to be happy.

[Matt Ritter]

Yeah. This is one that I would say we get the most questions about is a quantity of friends. Right. I think we get a lot of questions about people going, I only have one or two friends, or I have two friends and one's moving and. Or I have two or three friends. But I found this other friend group and I really love them. And it's like, the first thing is you got to start with your inner circle and focus on that. You know, we've been talking a lot about this for the past year. You said you want to honor your existing circle of friends. I said I want to triple down on my close friends. First and foremost, you need to prioritize your close friends. And if you have two or three, you have a world. You've got a great world, and you should cherish that. Now, some people need a larger group of friends to be happy. I think maybe you and I fall into that a little bit.

[Aaron Caro]

All right, I'm going to give you a hypothetical. Would you rather have a best friend and you live in LA and he lives in New York? Would you rather have a good friend and you live in the same city?

[Matt Ritter]

I think good friend in same city, to be honest with you.

[Aaron Caro]

Because.

[Matt Ritter]

Yeah. Because my day to day, I need to feel my social fulfillment.

[Aaron Caro]

You're tactile, Matt.

[Matt Ritter]

Yeah, I need those touch points. And I think. I actually think a lot of people are realizing proximity makes somebody a best friend. Like you can have best friends in other cities, but getting to see somebody all the time on a day to day, it really helps you appreciate them and it helps a friendship flourish. Like my neighborhood, friendships are flourishing because we're having so many touch points. Me and you being in the same city has enabled our friendship to flourish in a lot of ways.

[Aaron Caro]

Yeah, but you're going to. If you move to another neighborhood, you'll never speak to these people again.

[Matt Ritter]

And that may be also true. But I'm just saying my problem with relying on a best friend in the other city is it doesn't for me, it doesn't feel my friendship needs.

[Aaron Caro]

So interesting. So our. Our little rule of thumb. Now you love a rule of thumb. Our rule of thumb for friendship is proximity, then quality than quantity. You want friends who are close. You want friends that are close. Literally. You want friends who are close metaphorically. And then you want a lot of them.

[Matt Ritter]

And what did we say is our. Our, our, our. I feel we talked about this. Was it four? We said if you have four good friends, you're golden.

[Aaron Caro]

Well, I think we landed on three because then there's four of you total.

[Matt Ritter]

Right, right, right.

[Aaron Caro]

You know, if you've got one, they're busy, they're gone.

[Matt Ritter]

Yep.

[Aaron Caro]

If you got two and you get together to three, it's kind of an odd number. Like if you have four, two of you. I think we talked about it, Matt, when we're talking about maybe a concert. This four. You and Fireball, Adam go to the bar. Me and Jeff are hanging out.

[Matt Ritter]

Right. And a four person boys dinner is the best number.

[Aaron Caro]

Four person. Because you could always. Yeah. There's always one other person you could talk to. Good for a round table. Good for an Uber.

[Matt Ritter]

So. Yes. You need a three person circle to be happy that we.

[Aaron Caro]

That we say your optimum minimum.

[Matt Ritter]

Yeah. What other myths? Okay. Oh, this is a good myth that I think needs to be debunked. True friends have to have. I don't think they. I don't. Let's just say true friends have to have a lot in common. Is the myth. Not everything.

[Aaron Caro]

It's interesting. It's interesting, you know, because I mean, that can mean many different things to me. It's more about values than interests. Right.

[Matt Ritter]

So if you hit the nail on the head.

[Aaron Caro]

Yeah. Like, if you don't, like, you go. Yeah.

[Matt Ritter]

I was literally gonna say there are two types of friendships. There are interest based friendships and there are values based friendship. Most people just think of the interest based friendships.

[Aaron Caro]

Right? I mean, if you don't like sports, don't drink, are not into comedy, we could still be good friends if you're, you know, a fun hang or you're just really interesting or, you know, whatever.

[Matt Ritter]

And I think a lot of older friendships can maintain without the interest staying and interest diverging. I think it's harder for newer friendships to be value space because I think as an adult in your 30s, 40s, 50s, 60s and beyond, most of those friendships are founded in interest.

[Aaron Caro]

Yeah, that's really interesting. Like, how do you even make a values based friend?

[Matt Ritter]

Church, temple, a political event, I suppose. I don't know.

[Aaron Caro]

I think it's like, let's say you went on a double date with Jess, met a new couple and you went on a double with the guy. The guy doesn't work in the industry. He's not a Knicks fan. He. But he's just like, he's hilarious and he's real well read and, you know, he's just an interesting dude. I don't know. I think you become fast friends. On that note, can we talk about the myth that making friends is easy?

[Matt Ritter]

Is that our entire podcast, that's our entire box.

[Aaron Caro]

Things can require work and still be easy.

[Matt Ritter]

Brilliant, Caro. Actually, I think about that all the time about, you know, like easy or hard. I don't really live in that world personally. I don't live in the hard, easy categorization of things. I live in the category of purpose and goals and alignment. Right. If I'm doing something for a purpose and it's aligned with my goals, I'm going to do it. And sometimes it comes with challenges, but I'm not going, oh well, because it's going to be hard. I'm not going to do it. Like, if it aligns with my purpose, I want to do it.

[Aaron Caro]

I mean, nothing's easy in this world.

[Matt Ritter]

No. Well, that's being an adult, realizing that, right?

[Aaron Caro]

Being an adult is, is the worst. Sometimes I can't even believe that we've been adults for 25 years. Sometimes.

[Matt Ritter]

I'm doing everything for my son and I'm going, man, it's so hard to not have somebody doing everything for you.

[Aaron Caro]

I was with Christina's, Christina's kids, and I think maybe the son is, I don't know, 10. God, I really should get this, get this right. Maybe, maybe a little younger. And I was like, oh, do you like how I don't know why. We were just all shooting the and I was like, do you ever like, worry about stuff? And he's like, no. I'm like, when you lay down. But I said, if they ever worry about I'm just curious, like, what the. Like, you know, I'm like, when you lay down in bed at night, are you thinking about anything? He goes, what do I have to think about? I'm a kid.

[Matt Ritter]

Thank God. Thank God. I mean, we should never let kids worry about things. I actually think that's a, a parenting thing. I just, I don't know. I see parents put their anxieties on their kids and they're doing it subconsciously and you're like, man, you are damaging that kid.

[Aaron Caro]

What's an example of that?

[Matt Ritter]

I don't want to get into it. I just see it way too much. People, parents know what I'm talking about, but I don't want to get into it. Should we take a listener question?

[Aaron Caro]

We'll be right back.

[Tremphya Representative]

Do Crohn's disease symptoms keep coming back? Tremphya Giselcomab may help at 12 weeks, rapid symptom remission was achieved in most patients taking Tremphya and some experienced visible improvement of their intestinal lining. At 12 weeks and one year, individual results may vary. Tremphya is a prescription medicine used to treat adults with moderately to severely active Crohn's disease. Serious allergic reactions and increased risk of infections and liver problems may occur. Before treatment, your doctor should check you for infections and tb. Tell your doctor if you have an infection, flu like symptoms, or if you need a vaccine. Explore what's possible and ask your doctor about tremphya today. Call 1-800-526-7736 to learn more or visit tremphyaradio.com.

[Fidelity Representative]

Don'T just ride the index, seek to outperform it with FELC. The Fidelity Enhanced Large Cap Core ETF Unlike passive ETFs, FELC is run by a team of experts to adapt to market conditions and pursue upside potential wherever it's hiding. And while you get the potential outperformance of an actively managed fund, you can still buy and sell it on your terms just like any other etf. Discover FELC the Fidelity Enhanced Large Cap Core ETF part of Fidelity's suite of active ETFs. Learn more at fidelity.com felc before investing in any exchange traded fund, you should consider its investment objectives, risks, charges and expenses. Contact Fidelity for a prospectus and offering circular or if available, a summary prospectus containing this information Read it carefully. While active ETFs offer the potential to outperform an index, these products may more significantly trail an index as compared with passive ETFs. Fidelity Brokerage Services, LLC Member NYSE SIPC.

[Tremphya Representative]

When it comes to your wireless Other prepaid providers lock you into plans with hidden penalties that hit when least expected you US Cellular Prepaid offers a three day grace period if you need extra time to pay. With plans starting at $25 a month, staying connected has never been better. No hidden fees or surprises, just the coverage you need at the price you love. Plus, you could get a free device like the Samsung Galaxy A16.5G. US Cellular Prepaid Terms apply. Visit uscellular.com for details.

[Aaron Caro]

Okay guys, this is asking for a friend. If you have a friendship question, question or ethical dilemma, send it to us on Instagram our Handles man of the Year podcast and we will answer it on the show. Matt, Take it away.

[Matt Ritter]

Matt and Cairo. I feel like you guys are gonna hate this one. I see people on social media posting about their Day one friends they've had since kindergarten, but I've moved a lot. I don't really have any friends from childhood or high school that I still talk to. I've made great friends as an adult, but doesn't mean I'm missing something. If I don't have childhood friends, does that mean I messed up? So they're seeing what, you know, our whole thing. And I don't know, you know, maybe, maybe there, maybe we've need, maybe this is something we've been needing to address for a long time because maybe there's a lot of people who watch us or listen to us and go, damn it, I don't have what they had.

[Aaron Caro]

So just for context for new listeners, Matt and I have been friends in second grade and we have the same group of friends from elementary school. So I think I'm gonna drop a heroism on you that you're gonna love. You can make Day one friends at any time.

[Matt Ritter]

Oh, I like it. Say that again.

[Aaron Caro]

You can make Day one friends at any time in your life. If you are in your 40s and you make a new friend, you could be friends with them for 50 years. It's never too late to make a day one friend. And yes, some people by circumstance luck or, you know, vagaries of the world have friends from childhood like me and Matt. But if you don't have that, it's not your fault. It's never too late.

[Matt Ritter]

Yeah, we're lucky. I want to go back and you know I feel maybe we don't say that often enough. We're lucky. A lot of it was just sort of an accident of our crew, and we ended up putting work in. We actually had to. When we launched this pod, we reverse engineered and figured out how we did this because it was sort of by accident. It happened organically. So, yes, some people keep the same friends from childhood, and that's great. But making new friends adult, that's actually a flex. It's like, you know who you are, you, what you value. You've chosen your friendships based on connection, not convenience. Hey, you know, on some level that's better than what. What the childhood friends are in some ways, right? The best friendships aren't about how long you've known someone. They're about how deeply you connect. So some of the most important friends in your life you may not even have met yet, like Caro said. So if you don't have childhood friends, who cares? You're not behind. You're not broken. You're making friendships that match the person you are now. Not the kid who traded lunchables or, you know, like, me and Kiro got in fights at Project Challenge.

[Aaron Caro]

By the way, another. No, you listen. Another way to describe day one friends is default friends, right?

[Matt Ritter]

And I don't want to dishonor our default. No, I do think, you know, it's great. It's awesome. We're lucky. But I do think there is something more self reflective and introspective about the friends that you're choosing now.

[Aaron Caro]

Dude, think about the difference between me and you and us and Fireball Adam. We're friends because we were placed in a second grade classroom next to each other by the a thousand coincidences happening together. And Fireball Adam, like, you know, I met and then I was like, this guy rules. And like, you got to meet Matt. Like, come on.

[Matt Ritter]

And I think the thing about childhood friends is you. The one thing you should be doing is you should be choosing them over and over again.

[Aaron Caro]

Mm. What do you always say? You got to make new friends. Wait. You should be making new memories with old friends.

[Matt Ritter]

Mm. Mm. So, yes, I think there's absolutely nothing wrong you didn't mess up. We happen to be lucky and we're grateful and we talk about it all the time. But I'm also equally grateful for the friends that I've met this year.

[Aaron Caro]

By the way, remember what my ex therapist said when I told her I have all these friends from day one?

[Matt Ritter]

You said, get rid of them. And what did you do? Got rid of Her.

[Aaron Caro]

F you, Joan. I'll never lose my friends.

[Matt Ritter]

Yeah. You know, you're like, you know what? I don't need a therapist who shits on my oldest. A lifelong friends. Bye.

[Aaron Caro]

Oh, God. Oh, man. What a. What a. Wow. What a strange time in my life that was last year. What a strange, strange time.

[Matt Ritter]

Therapy. Who needs it?

[Aaron Caro]

Yeah. But I would like to hear from our listener, like, on your. On your quest to make new friends. And again, you make a friend now, you'll be as. You know, when you're 80, you'll be as friend. As good friends as me and Matt. You know, so actually, when you make.

[Matt Ritter]

A friend now and you're 80 and somebody asks how you guys know each other, you're gonna say, we were lifelong friends.

[Aaron Caro]

Yeah. You're not gonna say, oh, I met him, you know, 40 years ago.

[Matt Ritter]

Right. You're. And that's the other thing. We happen to go so far back that it's almost like in a different category, because some people just say, hey, I've known them my whole Life. And that's 13. That's 21. That's, you know, depending on how old you are.

[Aaron Caro]

Matt, I. I think we talked about this offline and wasn't in the pod that I had this realization that you will know me longer than you know your parents or your children.

[Matt Ritter]

It's crazy. It's crazy. Actually, Jesse and I were. We have this joke that we're kind of like Mr. Belding. Rip from Saved by the.

[Aaron Caro]

He died?

[Matt Ritter]

Yes.

[Aaron Caro]

What? No, he didn't. No, he didn't. What are you doing?

[Matt Ritter]

What are you doing?

[Aaron Caro]

I don't think. Oh, man. Dennis, what is his name?

[Matt Ritter]

Oh, he is alive. I thought. I thought building was.

[Aaron Caro]

Yeah, he's alive and well, man. He's doing it.

[Matt Ritter]

We gotta. We gotta reach out to Belding. Yeah, I feel. Let's cut that out. So we gotta just. And I joke, we're like Mr. Belden, because, like, you know, the first half of your life is the original Saved by the Bell cast. And then, like, you know, your family members start dying. You have kids and all their friends and all these new parents, all these new people in your life, it's like. But you're still Mr. Belding. You're going on to the new cast.

[Aaron Caro]

Wait, but who. Who are we in this analogy?

[Matt Ritter]

We're Mr. Belding. We're the only ones that see both the new cast.

[Aaron Caro]

Everybody's their own Mr. Belding.

[Matt Ritter]

Everybody's Mr. Belding.

[Aaron Caro]

Wow.

[Matt Ritter]

Everybody in life is Mr. Belding. Because when you're Growing up, you are the original Saved by the Bell cast with your parents and your grandparents, and they're all gone. And then this new cast of your kids and their friends and your new parent friends and all these people you're meeting in the second half of your life, but you're still Mr. Belding and you got the new class.

[Aaron Caro]

Yeah. That's, like, hitting me really deep.

[Matt Ritter]

For some reason, we're all Mr. Belden. Why?

[Aaron Caro]

Why is that the deepest thing we've ever said?

[Matt Ritter]

It's true. Jesse and I have been laughing about it for years. We're like, hey, nobody ever tells you there's a Saved by the Bell new class for the second half of your life.

[Aaron Caro]

Yeah. Oh, man. That's really. That's really deep. Yeah. Wow.

[Matt Ritter]

Yeah. Your parents and grandparents, they were in the OG Cast of Saved by the Bell. Probably better characters.

[Aaron Caro]

Oh.

[Matt Ritter]

The greatest generation. The OG Cast of Saved by the Bell, then your kids and your grandkids, your ungrateful grandkids. They're just Saved by the Bell, the new class.

[Aaron Caro]

Yeah. At one point, Julian Brenner was his. In his own. His own Mr. Beldig.

[Matt Ritter]

Yep.

[Aaron Caro]

Yeah, that's. I think that was in last episode. It's not going to make any sense, but do we answer this question?

[Matt Ritter]

Absolutely. We did. You. What? Would you remind me your quote?

[Aaron Caro]

You can make day one, day one friends today.

[Matt Ritter]

I love that.

[Aaron Caro]

Yeah, I'm putting that on our list. All right, guys, I was asking for a friend. If you have a friendship question, send to us on Instagram and we'll answer on the show. Matt, any final thoughts on friendship myths?

[Matt Ritter]

You know, honestly, I. I feel this is great that we address the listener question, because I. I feel like, oh, man, that's a myth that, like, you know, lifelong friends are. You know, if you have them, then you're awesome, and if you don't, you fail. So I'm glad we're adding that to the myth list.

[Aaron Caro]

Yeah, absolutely. Again, nobody. There's. That's not a competition. How long you've had a friend for?

[Matt Ritter]

Well, it. Obviously it is. We're winning.

[Aaron Caro]

Yes. I mean, it is nice that we have 40. Oh, my God. I cannot. 40 years. Is it. How long? 86.

[Matt Ritter]

86 out of my life, Caro.

[Aaron Caro]

Yeah. 39 years. And, you know, we've. Again, the fireball Adam. Like, we'll know him for whatever. 80 years.

[Matt Ritter]

Right, right.

[Aaron Caro]

So. All right, guys, thank you so much for listening. Let us know if you have any friendship myths you want us to debunk. We never. We didn't use the word debunk in here. We should have debunked these things. Always remember. We should have. Always remember. Be good to your friends. Be good to yourself. Love you, buddy.

[Matt Ritter]

No, it's be good to yourself. Be good to your friends.

[Aaron Caro]

Oh, wait, wait. Could be good to your. What did I say?

[Matt Ritter]

You said the other way. It's be good to yourself. Be good to your friends.

[Aaron Caro]

No, be good to yourself. Be good to your friends. That's what it is.

[Matt Ritter]

Yeah, you said it the wrong way.

[Aaron Caro]

Oh, damn. Well, I'm sorry. Anyway, that's the show. I love you, buddy.

[Matt Ritter]

Love you, buddy.

[Aaron Caro]

Comcast is committed to bringing access to.

[Oregon Lottery Representative]

The Internet to all Americans, including rural.

[Aaron Caro]

Communities across the country like Sussex County, Delaware.

[Tremphya Representative]

We were being left behind. Everybody around us seemed to have Internet, but we did not.

[Matt Ritter]

High speed Internet is one of those.

[Tremphya Representative]

Good things that we needed to help.

[Matt Ritter]

Us move our farming, our small businesses, our recreation forward.

[Oregon Lottery Representative]

Learn more about how we're bringing our next generation network to more people across the [e-mail] InvestmentinAmerica Pacifico is a Mexican lager brood to be discovered. It's like fresh tracks on a powder day like that uncharted trail a stone's throw away like the perfect wave on a sunny day Pacifico find your own way. 21 plus drink responsibly. Imported by Crown Import, Chicago, Illinois.