#135 - The Friendship Eras Tour

Summary

Podcast Summary: Man of the Year - Champions of Friendship
Episode #135: The Friendship Eras Tour
Release Date: June 10, 2025

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Introduction

In episode #135, "The Friendship Eras Tour," hosts Matt Ritter and Aaron Karo embark on a nostalgic and humorous journey, exploring how friendships might have evolved across different historical periods. Balancing comedy with insightful discussions, the duo delves into personal anecdotes, societal changes, and timeless aspects of male friendships.

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Discussion on Footwear and Aging

The episode kicks off with Matt and Aaron humorously debating the challenges of maintaining style and comfort as they age. Matt laments his inability to wear dress shoes without suffering from sciatica, leading to a conversation about the evolving needs of men's footwear.

• Matt: "[01:09] and I'm starting to think that it's been overlooked that your body changes and the world expects us to act like we're in our 20s."

Aaron empathizes, sharing his struggles with arch support and the agony caused by traditional dress shoes, emphasizing the lack of comfortable yet stylish alternatives.

• Aaron: "[03:08] I called them my sneaker shoes. I was like, I could wear these to weddings. And she was like, absolutely not."

The hosts explore the gap in the market for shoes that blend the formality of dress shoes with the comfort of sneakers, reminiscing about past attempts and the current limitations of footwear technology.

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Imagining Friendship Across Different Eras

Matt and Aaron transition into a creative exploration of how their friendship would adapt to various historical periods, drawing parallels between societal norms and personal dynamics.

1. Wild West Era

   • Aaron: "[05:31] ... friendship in the wild west. And it's like I loved how their friendship endures in all these different eras."

   They imagine themselves navigating the rugged life of the Wild West, facing challenges like horseback riding with Aaron's sciatica and Matt's lack of gun-shooting experience.

   • Matt: "[13:30] How are those shows, by the way?"

   The conversation highlights the importance of practical skills and mutual support in forging lasting friendships in such demanding times.

2. 1960s

   Reflecting on the vibrant and tumultuous 1960s, the hosts discuss how friendships were often rooted in shared experiences like music festivals and counterculture movements.

   • Aaron: "[14:30] A lot of dancing."

   They humorously recount their inability to fit into the Woodstock scene due to physical ailments, emphasizing how friendships in that era were built on openness and spontaneity.

3. Roman Era

   Delving further back, Matt and Aaron contemplate friendships in ancient Rome, acknowledging the brevity of life and the necessity of forging strong bonds quickly.

   • Aaron: "[27:28] We never talked about the Roman era. ... could we have been buddies in Roman times?"

   They laugh over the impracticalities of sustaining friendships amidst the harsh realities of Roman life, such as dealing with sciatica exacerbated by sandals and the prevalence of diseases.

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Listener Question: Friendly Competition

Midway through the episode, Matt and Aaron address a listener's dilemma about transitioning from supportive friends to competitive rivals. The question revolves around maintaining a healthy friendship when one friend becomes excessively competitive, even to the point of considering duels over professional promotions.

• Listener's Question: "[19:39] ... he’s going to challenge me to a duel over who gets a promotion."

Aaron and Matt dissect the fine line between healthy competition and destructive rivalry, offering practical advice:

• Matt: "[20:04] It's interesting because there's a fine line between accountability partners and, you know, rivals."

• Aaron: "[21:39] I think your advice is right. I mean, to say something to the guy, hey, I don't really want to compete on this."

They humorously debate the outdated concept of dueling as a conflict resolution method, ultimately advising the listener to distance themselves from unhealthy competition while preserving the core friendship.

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Final Thoughts on Timeless Friendships

As the episode wraps up, Matt and Aaron reflect on the enduring nature of their friendship, regardless of the era. They emphasize that the key to lasting friendships lies in adaptability, mutual support, and shared humor.

• Aaron: "[29:46] Think about your friendships. Think with this track, with this friendship. Transcend time."

• Matt: "[30:00] Would our friendship survive over eras? It's a good question."

The hosts conclude with a heartfelt reminder to cherish and nurture friendships, highlighting their own bond as a testament to enduring camaraderie.

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Conclusion

In "The Friendship Eras Tour," Matt Ritter and Aaron Karo seamlessly blend humor with meaningful insights, offering listeners a captivating exploration of how friendships withstand the test of time and societal changes. Through relatable anecdotes and thoughtful discussions, the episode underscores the importance of adaptability and genuine connection in cultivating lifelong friendships.

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Notable Quotes with Timestamps

• Matt: "[01:09] ... the world expects us to act like we're in our 20s."
• Aaron: "[03:08] I called them my sneaker shoes. I was like, I could wear these to weddings."
• Aaron: "[05:31] ... friendship in the wild west."
• Matt: "[14:30] A lot of dancing."
• Aaron: "[27:28] We never talked about the Roman era."
• Aaron: "[29:46] Think about your friendships. Think with this track, with this friendship. Transcend time."
• Matt: "[30:00] Would our friendship survive over eras? It's a good question."

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Whether reminiscing about the past or contemplating the future, "The Friendship Eras Tour" offers a delightful blend of comedy and wisdom, reinforcing why "Man of the Year" remains the #1 friendship podcast in the country.

Transcript

[A]

Man of the Year.

[B]

Man of the Year. Man of the Year. Welcome to the number one friendship podcast in the country. I'm Matt Ritter.

[A]

I'm Aaron Caro.

[B]

Guys, go to man of the Year podcast. Com. Buy some of our merch. We got some new merch coming in. Really soft cotton. Like, really 150 thread count. Is that a lot? I don't know, 400, 600? Better than Egyptian cotton, Sumerian cotton.

[A]

I think you're thinking of sheets, though.

[B]

Yeah, I know. Should we get sheets? Should we have people sleeping in man of the Year? Like, just. We should be friends bed spreads.

[A]

Oh, God. I am wearing the we should be friends hat.

[B]

Okay. I had to go to an event the other night, and we're in our 40s. We're in our early. We're in our late, early 40s.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

And I'm starting to think that it's been overlooked that your body changes and the world expects us to act like we're in our 20s. And by this, I mean footwear. I want to just. Big hot take. I cannot wear dress shoes ever again in my life as currently constructed. When I get home from a night wearing dress shoes, I'm in agony. My sciatica has reactivated after being dormant for two years. Like, I can't wear flat chalk tailors either. I need much better arch support. I need to be wearing soft apls wherever I go.

[A]

What's APLS again?

[B]

Like, there's really comfortable shoes. There's a couple brands that are, like, super.

[A]

Well, I think, Yeah. I think that most people of a certain age and myself included, have some sort of insert.

[B]

It's not enough.

[A]

Well, I don't. Do you? Well, have you tried that?

[B]

Yeah, I've tried inserts. It lessens the pain by 10%.

[A]

Yeah, I mean, I think that I don't love the look of a suit with sneakers, though.

[B]

It feels like old guy trying to be young.

[A]

Yeah, right.

[B]

You see a lot of LA dads who are, like in their 50s and 60s trying to pull it off and it's like, buddy.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

Just so I like when I see it, I go, oh, I don't want to be that guy. But at the same time, maybe they're just doing it for comfort.

[A]

Is there in between a dress shoe and, like, a Converse in a suit? Is there an in between of that?

[B]

Well, why can't they just make, like, sneakers that look like a shoe? You remember like, in that movie, just one of the guys where the younger brother had the tuxedo shirt.

[A]

Yes, yes.

[B]

The classic. So why can't we just have a sneaker that just looks like, from far away. Looks like a dress shoe.

[A]

In the, in the early aughts, when I was dating Alicia, I had this pair of sneakers that are exactly what you're thinking of. They were brown, sort of leather. I called them my sneaker shoes. I was like, I could wear these to weddings. And he was like, absolutely not. I was like, no, you don't understand. They look like shoes. And she's like, no, they don't.

[B]

That's the problem. They don't really. But how come technology hasn't advanced so that we have like a completely profound, perfected, like sleek looking, tuxedo looking shoe that's really just a sneaker?

[A]

Were you wearing a suit?

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

Oh man.

[B]

A suit. I was wearing a suit and black shoes.

[A]

Yeah. I haven't put a suit on in a, in a long time.

[B]

I'm wearing one also this weekend for my nanny's Kinsanera. Her kids.

[A]

Oh, nice. Yeah, that's gonna be fun. Quinceanera, 250 people. Do you, do you, have you done any like, are there, are there traditions? Is it going to be like, I don't know what happens at a Kinsaneer.

[B]

A lot of dancing. A lot of dancing.

[A]

Okay. Are you going to be wearing, are you gonna. Wearing the shoes again?

[B]

I don't think so. I think I'm just gonna put on some sneakers. I don't know. Jesse's gonna make me wear shoes.

[A]

Yeah. I think if you were in a nice suit and you have a nice suit and a tie, no tie. Okay. I'm gonna give you the, I'll give you permission, Matt, to wear some sneakers with that suit.

[B]

I don't think I'm gonna give myself permission. It just doesn't look right. Yeah, I just suffer through.

[A]

Right. What is.

[B]

Something's gotta be done. Something's got to be done. It's, it's a nerve blockage. It's a, it's a nerve that gets twisted. Sciatic, whatever. Your sciatic nerve runs from like the top of your butt all the way down your leg. And it's brutal. And it never goes away. Once you get sciatica. I want to hear from our, our listeners if anyone's ever actually beat sciatica. I think sciatica is undefeated. Sciatica is 50 million and zero. There's not a single person that has ever. Anytime you think you've beaten sciatica, you can go 20 years and then you go to a quinceanera and you're like, oh God, my sciatica is back.

[A]

Did you, did you ever think when we were in different, different eras of our life that you would be talking on a podcast about sciatica?

[B]

To me, I never did, but life changes. Good transition. By the way, different eras. You know, I was thinking about, I was thinking about Back to the Future and I was watching Back to the Future 3 the other day where they're in the wild west, you know, and they become buddies in the wild west. And it's like I loved how their friendship is like enduring in all these different eras. And it made me think like, what would our friendship be like in a different era? And like, do people think, do our listeners think your friends, you and your friends would, would have the same, would you have the same group of friends in different eras throughout history or do you think you'd have a totally different friend group and like different Fred dynamic?

[A]

By the way, are you, are you a time travel guy?

[B]

You know, you say these things and I never know what you mean by that. Like you, what did you ask the other day? Am I a what guy? Oh, am I a pizza guy? Like, I don't even know what that means, pizza. Like when you say that, that implies that like I'm like super duper into it. That's all I talk about. Like, oh no, what is it? Define, you have to define your terms, man.

[A]

I mean, a pizza guy is a little bit more self assigned. A time travel guy would be someone who believes it exists, who thinks about it, who, you know.

[B]

Okay, so time travel is, you know, it means different things to different people, right? If you're saying, hey, can you. What happens when you break the speed of light? You time travel, right? I mean, you break the space time continuum, you know, as to what happens when that happens. Or like if you can travel back in time and if time is linear, like, or there wormholes, I'll say I.

[A]

Have no clue because I actually like, it's one of my recurring, I want to call it maybe a daydream. When I, when my, when I wander, my mom wanders or when I'm in bed, I think about if I went back a hundred years, like, what would my game plan be, right? It's 1925, so it's the roaring twenties.

[B]

Aurora twenties about to be the Great Depression, right?

[A]

Like first of all, do I, do I get some sort of job where I can short sell? This is what I think about, right?

[B]

Because you have four years to get your whole thing, right.

[A]

Yeah. And, and also like how would I even fit in. Like, you know, there's a Nate Bargazi, really funny clip where he's like, if I went back in time, I don't think I'd make a difference because, like, I don't know how to do anything. Like, what exactly could you really do? You could, like. You could invent a cell phone.

[B]

No, I mean, if you had four years around the clock, you got to go be a trader.

[A]

Right, but how would you even get.

[B]

You don't even know. Right? Yeah, right. If you just suddenly went there, like, you sort of have an idea that, like, Bell is a big. Bell is a big company. Like who. General Motors? I don't think. I don't know. Are they General? But, like, did they pop before then? Yeah, Ford, you know, when they pop.

[A]

But even if you did, what, are you gonna go to the Wall, literal Wall street, and be like, hey, I'm Matt. You know, like, you have to, like.

[B]

No, I think what you would. The only thing I would do is I would figure. I try to figure out a way to arbitrage things, which is just buying things and reselling them. It's the only thing I would think I would do if I could figure.

[A]

Out things that were useful.

[B]

I don't. I don't. I don't even know. I honestly don't know.

[A]

Right. Because I think that brings up. Why don't we just, like, start with the 1920s or any. Anytime we go, I think our friend group would be a lot different because none of our skills are useful in another era. Like being writers, being funny. We have no physical labor skills.

[B]

Hold on, hold on, hold on. You know, there we were. They were just at the beginning of Hollywood, so they were. They were just starting to do. I think there were still silent films mostly. Right.

[A]

But you're saying me and you would get into this. We can't get to talkies.

[B]

We'd be huge. Silent film writers.

[A]

Write those little bubbles and go, wow. Yeah, like.

[B]

Right. Like vaudeville. Would you try Vod? I know. You had to be so much. Think about how much more talented you had to be in the vaudeville era than now.

[A]

Well, think of it. Yes, but also, the audiences were less sophisticated. So if you fell in your ass, that's the funniest thing they've ever seen in their life.

[B]

Right? Yeah, maybe I would go, pratt Falls. We'd just. Just be like, crazy Pratt, fall guy.

[A]

You know what? You know what's. I don't want to get into to dicey territory here, but you know what's interesting about Friendships, Male friendships, like going back hundreds of years. Was that like. It seems like they were a lot more like. Actually, you always like this. They more like romantic. You know what I'm saying? Not in a sexual.

[B]

Yes, yes.

[A]

Like, you ever read the letters that Lincoln was sending his best friend? Just, they don't know if they were dating or not.

[B]

Oh, my God. They all seem like love stories, every single one of them. I mean, but yeah, look, could we have. Here's the thing. Like, could we have just become like, you know, you say we don't have these skills now, it's only because we were raised in a world where we didn't need them. Like, I do believe that we could have become some sort of blue collar tradesman. You know, we could have been in the garment district.

[A]

Yeah. Selling raincoats like my grandfather.

[B]

Right, right. Peddlers. Peddlers. I'm just saying, like, you don't think you could have been a welder? Like, you know, and then our buddy. Our friendship. You know what seems like a cool friendship? The four guys sitting on top of the Empire State Building on that little.

[A]

Oh, my God.

[B]

You didn't get a lunch.

[A]

Yeah, yeah. Guy, what do you think our lunch would be? Who? Just like. Like a tuna sandwich?

[B]

I think it's. I think it was a lot of sandwiches. I don't know. Was too expensive. Was tuna delicacy? Here's what I think. It would be good. You're underestimating being funny. Like, you know, the group of guys, if day is miserable, you know, you're cracking jokes at lunch, you're killing.

[A]

I mean, we could be like the Abbott and Costello.

[B]

Yeah. Silent film. That would be tough, though.

[A]

Do you have a. I mean, we would do pretty well with the flappers, I think.

[B]

But I was thinking about this too. I think that's. I think we do pretty well with flappers. Oh, yeah. We'd be the back in the powder room, in their powder. All up in their powder room. But then you go back like a hundred years because I've been watching all the Taylor Sheridan verse.

[A]

Oh, really?

[B]

1883.

[A]

Like, how is it?

[B]

Frontier times. That's a rough life.

[A]

How are those shows, by the way?

[B]

They're. I like them. I like them. I don't know, it's just like very visual, you know? But I think friendships in those eras, it's like you got to put in the work, you gotta help, you gotta be helpful, you gotta be useful.

[A]

Gosh, we take so much for granted. Imagine showing up in a town and there's Nothing there.

[B]

I know. And we talk about friends. Now we go, you got to show up. You had to show up and, like, help your friend build their house.

[A]

Build a house.

[B]

I need you to build my house this year, and then I'll build your house next year.

[A]

You know how you say that you should never pick somebody up from the airport because we're too old for that. But back then, you picked them up from the. Whatever.

[B]

Anything you. Right. Yeah. You literally took them from Montana to California.

[A]

By the way, I know exactly what you would be like in the old west, because you know how, like, in Back to the Future, they kind of see, like, the. The. The relatives, the ancestors are all very similar. You'd be. You'd be the gold rush. You would be running, dropping everything, every fad.

[B]

Picking little gold out of the casino, Caro.

[A]

Oh, yeah.

[B]

I would get proprietor of one of the casinos. That's what I would do.

[A]

That would be.

[B]

That's the smart move. I'd be the proprietor of one of the casinos. And then, of course, I would gamble away all of my.

[A]

Some guy would come in through the saloon doors, be like, where's Matt Ritter? Shoot you down.

[B]

Duck down. I. I feel like I could be a good bartender back in the saloon days, too.

[A]

I think if we were buddies, man, a lot of horseback riding then, too. Like, I don't know. Your sciatica would be in shambles.

[B]

Oh, brutal. What's a good. All right, so let's. Let's. First of all, we're going too far back. What about, like, the 60s, if we grew up in, like, our parents era, Right? What were our friendships? A lot of drugs.

[A]

60S is. Is probably closest. Like, pretty fun.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

A lot of.

[B]

It's like, every day was Coach, right?

[A]

Yes. Yes. Every day was Coachella. Yeah. That's so funny. God, you would have. You would have not made it in Woodstock. I mean, you wouldn't be able to make it in Coachella, but Woodstock, no bathrooms.

[B]

Oh, God, brutal. Your sciatica and your ibs, the acid hitting your stomach.

[A]

Oh, yeah. You can't. You ain't hit 2 acid on a empty stomach.

[B]

Yeah. Big mistakes.

[A]

I think that in the 60s, people were also a little bit more sort of like, you became friends with, like, whatever, you know, the person you've met on the. You know, the corner, Right.

[B]

Where people were people. Right. I guess that's the question. In different eras, were friendships rooted in different sort of fundamentals? Like, were people more likely to be friends with strangers? In the 60s.

[A]

I mean, there will be people Used to hitchhike and you've never hitchhiked, have you?

[B]

Right. I hitchhiked one time in my life. Twice with you, actually. New Year's Day in Argent in Uruguay.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

On our way to the last day.

[A]

Yeah. Did we hitchhike and we just ask did we? Do we literally, like, stick our hands out?

[B]

That's what to do to get to the beach? Yeah, we did.

[A]

Yeah. Oh, yeah.

[B]

The second time it hitchhiked, I was with my mom at Jones Beach. We went to the nature preserve and the car got stuck in the sand and it was getting dark out and there were no cell phones.

[A]

You drive on the sand?

[B]

Yeah. There's, like, a preserve. We went the wrong way.

[A]

I mean, such a.

[B]

You're not supposed to drive it on the sand.

[A]

What? It's standard mom story.

[B]

Yeah. So we had to hitchhike and then, like, some car filled with, like, I don't know, college frat boys. It felt very deliverancey, like something bad was gonna happen to me and my mom. So we said no. And then we got really lucky like an hour later. I mean, it was. Felt like an hour, but it's probably like 10 minutes. But I was, you know, like 10. We got a ride from this couple that went to my mom's childhood temple. They lived in her childhood town, and they dropped her off at her at my grandma's.

[A]

Oh, that's nice. Wow.

[B]

How about you now?

[A]

Just the one time with you in. In Uruguay.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

We have pictures from that. We're sitting in the back of a pickup truck.

[B]

Yeah. So, yeah. I don't know. You know, like, our friendship. Were friendships rooted in different things in different hours. That's really what I want to get to, you know?

[A]

Well, I think it's the same as. Yeah.

[B]

What were their friendships rooted in?

[A]

I think it was. I mean, listen, 200 years ago, people got married because they could help with the farm, you know, like.

[B]

Right. So what were friends? What were friendships based on? You know, I think that you could help out, that you could be helpful and useful and work together. I think most of them were work based.

[A]

My. I recently discovered my dad's fraternity. He, like, kept the fraternity photo album throughout college, so I guess he grabbed.

[B]

Frothers were actually closer in our parents generation and the generation before than they are now.

[A]

Yeah. Because I think it was kind of a more important. It was like. Yeah, I. I totally agree with that.

[B]

But, like, when we got to college, fraternities were kind of just for the party out aspect, whereas I think in the generations before, they were really a networking thing.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

Plus the partying, obviously. But I think, like, you, you. You stayed in touch with your fraternity brothers and, like, they got you jobs and stuff.

[A]

I mean, I think that's still happening.

[B]

Yeah. Is that, is that right?

[A]

I don't know. Yeah, but my. My dad was wandering around orientation, like, not knowing where to go. Some guy was like, oh, do you need help? And they've been now friends for 50 years.

[B]

Just from. Just from talking to him at orientation, just from that.

[A]

Should we come back? Should we take a listening question?

[B]

Yeah, let's do it.

[A]

All right, we'll be right back. Okay, guys, this is asking for a friend. If you have a friendship question or ethical dilemma, send it to us on Instagram or Man of the Year podcast and we will answer it on the show. Matt, I think you're gonna like this. Dear Matt and Caro, I have a question about, quote, friendly competition. A good buddy of mine who was also my co worker, has become extremely competitive with me. Whether it's work, relationships, how many steps we take in a day. It's starting to feel like we're living in the 1800s. And he's going to challenge me to a duel over who gets a promotion. I miss when we were just two people supporting each other instead of rivals in a never ending cage match. How do I address this without escalating?

[B]

Wow, that's an interesting one. Because, you know, we have, obviously our friend group. We have a lot of friendly, competitive rivalries, and some have gotten a little out of hand sometimes.

[A]

And we literally think of the podcast is a giant trophy we give out each year.

[B]

Yeah. Yes. I think competition, friendly competition only works when it's friendly. Right. And it only works when you have buy in from both parties.

[A]

Interesting.

[B]

Because I think it works if you have two people that are on the same page. So when you're not on that page, you got. You got to change it up. Right. And this might not be the right person for you at the moment.

[A]

It's interesting because there's a fine line between accountability partners and, you know, rivals.

[B]

Right. Like, if this person is an intense rival, it needs somebody that's like an intense rival. Right?

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

He needs his Lincoln Douglas debates. You know, if he needs his Tesla Edison. Right.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

Then maybe that's not you, and that's okay. If it's not you, you guys can still be friends. Let's just. Let's just, like, back up for a second. This doesn't mean the end of your friendship. If you're like Hey, I don't want to be your competitive rival. Find somebody else to race with.

[A]

It's funny. Do you ever have.

[B]

How do you say that? But how do you say that? That's the question.

[A]

But you ever have that one sided competition where someone's like, yo, man, like, you know, 15 beers last night or I, I lift all this weight and you're just like, okay, like, I don't care.

[B]

Congrats. Right? You're like, congratulations. Yes. No. There are certain people that are fueled by that and need that and they need a friend to be competitive with. And I think that's healthy. Like, I do think if you have another person and that drives you both, I think that's great. I just don't think it's healthy if one person's like, get away from me. You're annoying.

[A]

Right? Yeah. What do you, what do you think about the old. What do you think about duels?

[B]

I think it's a great way to settle things. Love a duel.

[A]

What I still don't understand is what exactly is the point?

[B]

What do you mean?

[A]

Are you trying to kill the other person?

[B]

Right. Oh, that's your question? Whether you try to kill them or not? I don't think they were trying to kill them. I think you were trying to shoot them. But I think the odds of dying were so high they're almost one of the same.

[A]

But I mean, like, what is it supposed to prove? If I shoot you and you don't shoot me, do I win the argument?

[B]

You have to now honor. Yeah, now you have the honor back. You have your honor back. It was for a slight, you know, now that, now that slide has been, you know, like.

[A]

Right.

[B]

Not challenged properly now.

[A]

It's like you bump into someone at a bar and they're like, let's take it outside. You're like, dude, right? Who cares?

[B]

I know, but so that way you could move on. Right? It's like the duel is. Allows them to move on if they. If they both survive.

[A]

Right. I mean, imagine getting so mad at someone that you're like, let's duel.

[B]

I mean, so many people in the Wild west died that way.

[A]

Have you ever shot a gun?

[B]

Yes, many times. Have you?

[A]

Oh, yeah, we talked about this. Did you? No. What? Did you? No, I've never shot a gun.

[B]

But by the way, you know, we. No, I've just shot at gun ranges. But honor culture is a big part of this country's founding, and there's still a lot of honor cultures out there. We're now more in a legal Culture, I would say, which is probably beneficial that we're living under that, you know, the rule of law instead of just like, you offended me. I think a lot of other civilizations and cultures are still stuck under the honor culture, where offense can require somebody to shoot you to death or kill you or stone you or whatever. Yeah, I'm not really a big fan of the honor culture. I, I was jokingly like, I like the duel because it's cool the way they go count to 10 and like back to back.

[A]

You know, it seems like so easy to. You know what I think, Matt, we would be good seconds.

[B]

Oh, great. Second. Never call me. Never call me up first.

[A]

Wait, no, that's not what second. That's not what seconds means.

[B]

The second is. Second is if, if you don't want to do it, give it to your second.

[A]

No, I thought the second was the dual assistant.

[B]

Oh. I thought the second was like you could, you could tell your rival, like, I'm gonna have my second step in. It's like a backup.

[A]

I think me and you set the rules. We make sure both of our people are, are turning around.

[B]

Oh, I thought he was like a backup QB that you could tap on the shoulder. If you're like, ah, my shoulder's a little wonky today. You get in there and shoot to kill.

[A]

A trusted representative who acts on behalf of a duelist. The second's main role is try to resolve the conflict without violence.

[B]

Oh, okay. So the second never steps in.

[A]

I don't think so. I think you are thinking.

[B]

I think I'm thinking of the champion. Your champion is there like your champion.

[A]

I mean, now you're thinking of thrones when they're like, no, I want somebody else to play for me.

[B]

Yeah, yeah, yeah. That's what I was thinking of. Like your champion.

[A]

You're thinking of sell swords. I think that if we were friends in the, in the dueling, I bet you people in our friend group would duel to death.

[B]

Yeah. I mean, we both know we wouldn't be that good at dueling. So this is. Oh, no, it wouldn't work well for us to be in that era.

[A]

No, because I have terrible aim. But, but, but yes, because we're always bickering with each other. There would be some sort of duel.

[B]

I told you I always liked what, what I liked about our grandparents era was that they all grew up together and moved to a, you know, new place together that I always liked. Anyway, back to the question of, of competitive friends, how to deal with them. What do you think is a Good way to handle this.

[A]

I think your advice is right. I mean, to say something to the guy, hey, I don't really want to, like, compete on this. I think it's better just not compete. Eventually, the guy's gonna get bored and then move on or be normal.

[B]

Right. If you're just like, oh, that's great for you. They get the hint that you're not engaged, you're not giving them the fuel that they want, and they'll probably go seek it elsewhere.

[A]

Right. It's like, if the guy's like, how many steps you take today? I'm like, yeah, I stopped counting. I don't wear my Fitbit anymore.

[B]

That's right. That's exactly right.

[A]

You know, like, it's almost the same thing as a bully. Yeah. You know, if you stop feeding the. Feeding the trolls and they stop bothering you.

[B]

Yeah, I think that's. It's. Yeah. You know, but like, you again, the flip side is you could still be friends with that person. You don't have to, like, not be friends with them because you don't like that aspect of the relationship. Like, your friendship, you know, you shouldn't let other people kind of shape it unilaterally, too. I think that's important. Oh. A lot of us get into these friendships where we're letting the other person dictate the terms of what the friendship is, whether it's fear or fear of judgment. I don't know if this person is going to like me or, you know, I can't be myself around them, then maybe that's not the friend for you. But at the same time, you may just be not wanting to be part of that competitive thing, but you may like them otherwise. So once you let that competitive stuff go, let's see what's there in the friendship. And if the friendship is still thriving without that piece, then great, you've solved your problem.

[A]

Yeah, I agree. I think that's the move. Okay, guys, this was asking for a friend. If you have a friendship question or ethical dilemma, send it to us on Instagram. All right, Matt, any. Any final eras you want to talk about in our eras tour here?

[B]

Well, we never talked about the Roman era. We started the pod, like, two years ago, talking about the Roman. Roman times. You know, could we have been buddies in the Roman times?

[A]

Well, you know what's interesting is that nobody lived till. They only lived till they were, like, 40. So, like, you had to bond quickly.

[B]

Yeah, we've been friends for 40 years. They didn't even live until 40.

[A]

Right? Yeah. You know, again, the footwear would have everyone have sciatica with those. Those sandals, those flat sandals.

[B]

Between the footwear and the ibs. I'd be out.

[A]

Yeah, because you'd be literally pooping in the gutter.

[B]

Well, most people died of dysentery back.

[A]

Then, but at least the Romans didn't they build the. Because I was in Italy, they built the. Yeah, yeah. I think sewage first.

[B]

Sewage systems.

[A]

Yeah. They had a. They had a raised thing so the. The wagons went, you know, over the sewage. But, yeah, I think we would. I don't know, because I think you wouldn't ever stab me in the back. Never be at 2, Matthew. I think you'd probably stab me in the front.

[B]

Yeah. No, you know why? I think would be fun if. If you like being friends in that era, like, you do have to invent ways to have a good time. And I feel like you and I are good at, like, having fun with wherever we are.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

And I think that's a big part of, like, life before the last couple of decades.

[A]

Oh, man, it was probably so boring.

[B]

Right. So having a good imagination, which we both do, and just kind of go with the flow, like, those are good skills to have friends back then.

[A]

I mean, we'd be jesters, basically.

[B]

Yes, yes. In every era, that's pretty much what we'd have to lean on. Our quote unquote soft skills.

[A]

Yeah. If we were ever in, like, a royal court. But we would. We would tire. The king would tire of us very quickly, of our antics.

[B]

Well, that's the thing. Once. Once the king tires of you, it's curtains.

[A]

Yeah, yeah, It's.

[B]

It's.

[A]

It's. It's not good. But I think. I think I. I think our friendship would transcend time.

[B]

I like it. So I think that's how you should think about. For the listener. Think about your friendships. Think with this track, with this friendship. Transcend time, you know, if. So that's a great friendship.

[A]

Yeah. It's almost like that recent movie with God, Florence Pew. And who's the guy who's Andrew Garfield? We live in time. It's like their love story crosses millennia, whatever. It'd be like us.

[B]

Right. Would our friend Bond survive over errors? It's a good question.

[A]

Yeah, I think it would until. Until the. The dino. You know, I guess there were no dinosaurs when they were human, so that's stupid. But the Crawling Man. Yeah. Yeah. Because, I mean, I'm probably. And this isn't a diss. I'm probably a little bit faster than you, so that means you'd be dead immediately.

[B]

You are.

[A]

You've got some good foot speed and you've got sciatica. You barefoot, basically. No, it's really the foot. It's the cushion in these areas.

[B]

No, but maybe it's the shoe wearing that's been holding me back.

[A]

Oh, well, you know our friend Dana, dude went to the barefoot and it destroyed his body.

[B]

Oh, he did? Yeah. He makes a lot of. For a smart guy. For a smart guy. He makes a lot of, you know, foot related decisions.

[A]

Yeah, but he wore those finger toes for like a year and then he, like, can't. Now he can't walk. Seriously. All right, guys, well, let us know what you think about your friendships. And would you survive in other eras or would you be mammoth meat like Matt? Guys, thanks so much for listening. Always remember, be good to yourself. Be good to your friends. Love you, buddy.