#144 - Friendship First Responders

Summary

Man of the Year - Champions of Friendship

Episode #144: Friendship First Responders
Hosts: Matt Ritter and Aaron Karo
Release Date: August 12, 2025

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1. Introduction

In Episode #144 of Man of the Year - Champions of Friendship, hosts Matt Ritter and Aaron Karo delve into the intricacies of friendship dynamics, especially focusing on the roles friends play during critical moments. Skipping the usual advertisements and introductions, the episode quickly immerses listeners into meaningful conversations about maintaining and deepening friendships.

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2. Navigating Gift-Giving Etiquette in Friendships

The episode begins with Matt sharing a personal anecdote about missing a friend's birthday and attempting to make amends by gifting a high-end bottle of bourbon.

• Matt Ritter (02:02): "I was feeling bad about missing a friend's birthday, so I decided to bring over a $150 bottle of bourbon."

The hosts discuss the etiquette surrounding such gestures, questioning whether presenting an expensive, consumable gift is presumptuous or thoughtful.

• Aaron Caro (02:10): "This is really the definition of a high-class problem."

They explore scenarios where the receiver may either appreciate the gesture by enjoying the gift immediately or opt to save it for a special occasion, highlighting the importance of understanding the recipient's preferences.

• Matt Ritter (03:07): "If it's just one-on-one, it feels like you gotta crack it open."

The conversation emphasizes that while the gesture itself is commendable, the response depends largely on the dynamics between the friends involved.

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3. Emergency Contacts and Personal Anecdotes

Transitioning from gift-giving, Matt and Aaron shift focus to the topic of emergency contacts, relating it to friendship depth and trust.

• Matt Ritter (05:58): "Getting somebody on that first responders list is kind of like. That's when you know you're a close friend."

Aaron introduces the concept of setting multiple emergency contacts (ICE) on smartphones, emphasizing their practical importance.

• Aaron Caro (06:09): "In the iPhone you can put somebody as ICE in case of emergency."

Matt shares a personal story where he and his wife Jess had to rely on Aaron during an unexpected labor situation.

• Matt Ritter (08:15): "We called him four times... eventually my real emergency contact showed up at 6."

This narrative underscores the unpredictability of emergencies and the vital role close friends play in such moments.

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4. Friendship Asymmetry and Listener Question

The discussion evolves into the concept of "friendship asymmetry," where one friend may hold a more significant role than the other in certain contexts.

• Matt Ritter (21:32): "Friendship isn't always symmetrical too."

A listener question propels this segment, asking whether one should feel honored, guilty, or awkward upon being unexpectedly listed as someone's emergency contact.

• Listener Question (20:26): "A buddy of mine just told me I'm his emergency contact,... should I feel flattered, guilty, or slightly weirded out?"

Aaron and Matt reassure that being listed as an emergency contact is an honor, reflecting trust and reliability.

• Aaron Caro (21:28): "I think it's a great honor."

They further discuss scenarios where individuals might not have close friends to list, suggesting that professional or utilitarian contacts can also fulfill this role without diminishing the friendship's value.

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5. The Concept of Friendship First Responders

Building on their earlier discussions, the hosts introduce the innovative idea of "friendship first responders," likening close friends to emergency services but for personal and emotional crises.

• Aaron Caro (30:54): "We think of our friends as first responders to non-medical emergencies as well."

They humorously outline various situations where a friendship first responder would be essential, such as contemplating major life decisions or emotional upheavals.

• Matt Ritter (31:34): "Shout out to the friendship first responders... You need a first responder to put out the fires going on in your day to day."

This segment highlights the multifaceted roles friends play beyond just being companions, positioning them as essential support systems in navigating life's challenges.

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6. Conclusion

Wrapping up the episode, Matt and Aaron reiterate the importance of nurturing friendships that go beyond superficial interactions. They encourage listeners to evaluate their own emergency contact lists and recognize the invaluable support friends provide.

• Aaron Caro (33:32): "Let us know who your friendship first responder is and if you've ever had any emergency contact worthy."

The hosts conclude with a warm welcome to the newest member of Matt's family, Julian, symbolizing the continual growth and strengthening of friendships.

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Key Takeaways:

• Gift-Giving in Friendships: The value lies in the thought behind the gift rather than its price tag. Understanding the recipient's preferences is crucial.

• Emergency Contacts as Friendship Benchmarks: Listing someone as an emergency contact signifies a deep level of trust and reliance in the friendship.

• Friendship Asymmetry: It's natural for friendships to have imbalances in certain roles or contexts, and this asymmetry doesn't undermine the relationship's value.

• Friendship First Responders: Friends can act as personal support systems, akin to emergency services, addressing both emotional and practical crises.

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Notable Quotes:

• Matt Ritter (05:58): "Getting somebody on that first responders list is kind of like. That's when you know you're a close friend."

• Aaron Caro (16:49): "What do you do if you just don't feel comfortable with this?"

• Matt Ritter (22:05): "Friendship asymmetry is totally fine."

• Aaron Caro (30:54): "We think of our friends as first responders to non-medical emergencies as well."

---

This episode of Man of the Year offers listeners insightful discussions on the depths of friendship, the responsibilities that come with trust, and the pivotal roles friends play in our lives. Whether navigating gift-giving etiquette or establishing oneself as a reliable emergency contact, Matt and Aaron provide both humor and heart, reinforcing the podcast's mission to champion enduring and meaningful friendships.

Transcript

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[Aaron Caro]

Man of the Year.

[Matt Ritter]

Man of the Year. Man of the Year. Welcome to the number one friendship podcast in the country. I'm Matt Ritter.

[Aaron Caro]

I'm Aaron Caro.

[Matt Ritter]

Guys, go to manofthepodcast.com. get some merch. Get some we should be friends shirts, hats. Go to YouTube. We're cutting up some funny shorts there. Carol, I have a. It's like a rant, but slash, a question about etiquette. Okay, Okay. I missed a friend's birthday and so I was feeling bad about it. I was like, I wanted to give him a gift. He lives in the neighborhood. So I ended up going like real up level on some bourbon and I brought it over. Obviously, when you bring over a nice bottle of something in your mind, you're like, man, it'll be nice if they crack it open right now, right? What is the protocol? So he ended up cracking it open for me and we had a couple of really nice drinks there. But like, I wasn't sure if I was, you know, like, was that, was that like presumptuous of me? Because it was like $150 bottle.

[Aaron Caro]

Wow. This is really the, the, the definition of a high class problem.

[Matt Ritter]

Why is it high class champagne?

[Aaron Caro]

I bought this, I brought this $150 bottle of bourbon over and I. Was he going to give me a drink? I don't know. What should I do? Whatever should I do? Let's, let's talk about our piece of. Because you're so relatable.

[Matt Ritter]

It is relatable. Every. Listen, it doesn't have to be $150. It could be $20 bottle of wine. My point is, is the question is if you bring over something that could be consumed, what is the, what is the thought process?

[Aaron Caro]

I mean, that is. I will Be honest. It's a good question. You know, my first thought was me. If it's. I don't know, maybe at first I was, no, because, like, you want to save it for a special occasion if it's that nice.

[Matt Ritter]

Right, Right. I don't think you're obligated to. I guess is. Is. I think the answer is you're not obligated to. But I think it was cool that he did it because I think usually when you do it, people don't. They just go, thanks. Especially like when you're at a party and somebody gives you like a really nice bottle and you're like, should I open it? You know? Or like, you never know what to do.

[Aaron Caro]

Well, yeah, if you're at a party. You mean like a dinner party?

[Matt Ritter]

No. Well, depends, right? Because, like, then you're like, I don't want to waste it if there's a lot of people there.

[Aaron Caro]

Yeah. I think that this is more. I think this is. This is receiver's choice. Because some people. Yeah. Some people are just like, oh, yeah, let's. Let's get it in the flow. If people are like snobs, they might want to, like, save it and savor it. Listen, Matt, you could make the argument that not sharing with. Well, it's just you was almost.

[Matt Ritter]

Yeah, that's what I'm saying. If it's just one on one, it feels like you gotta crack it open.

[Aaron Caro]

What. What time of day was this?

[Matt Ritter]

8 o' clock at night.

[Aaron Caro]

On what day of the week?

[Matt Ritter]

A weeknight? A Wednesday night. It was actually quite funny. I'll tell you. It was quite funny because I. I brought it over and my buddies, Brent and Melanie, and they're like, how you doing? I'm like, I'm great. I'm great. Melanie's like, how's the kid and everything. How are you? How are you holding up? Brent goes, he walked the bottle over so he could have a drink at 8 o' clock on a Wednesday. Right. I was like, touche, my friend. Touche.

[Aaron Caro]

He knew. He knew he's going to get out of the house. Every TV show still has the trope of they've got bourbon in a snifter in the office. Like, do you have that in our little office?

[Matt Ritter]

No, no, no.

[Aaron Caro]

I mean, like in your house, do you have bourbon in a. Already in a glass thing?

[Matt Ritter]

No, I don't. But the guy who I dropped it off to, you've been to his bar. He's got a. He's got a nice choice bar. He's got One.

[Aaron Caro]

Yeah. Yeah.

[Matt Ritter]

So, okay, so it's receiver's choice. If it's one person walking over, you should probably crack it up.

[Aaron Caro]

I mean, it would be crazy if you brought that same bottle to a party and he opened it and just start pouring willy nilly. People leave half their drinks over.

[Matt Ritter]

Right, right. But that's also, like, a cool move.

[Aaron Caro]

Yeah. So that's interesting, Matt. You could read that of one of two ways. One. Yeah. He doesn't give a shit.

[Matt Ritter]

You could be disrespected by it.

[Aaron Caro]

Right, right, right. He pours me a. He pours me a bourbon and Coke with your 150.

[Matt Ritter]

That's a very like Seinfeld, Kirby.

[Aaron Caro]

Yeah.

[Matt Ritter]

Thing to have at.

[Aaron Caro]

He left it over. He left it over.

[Matt Ritter]

Anyway, this isn't a good segue, but I just thought it was a funny thing I feel like we've never talked about. And I'll get into the story. Emergency contacts and first responders and who you should call. And I think, you know, for this pod, we talk a lot about deepening friendships, and I think, you know, getting somebody on that first responders list is kind of like. That's when you know you're. You're a close friend. Like, I'm just curious. Like, you have a list of emergency contacts.

[Aaron Caro]

So did you know. I'm sure you didn't, because you're a Luddite. Did you know on the. In the iPhone you can put somebody. Multiple people as ICE in case of emergency? And then that.

[Matt Ritter]

Obviously you knew. I had no idea.

[Aaron Caro]

Yeah, and then that's, like, connected to, like. Do you have your medical thing filled out in your iPhone?

[Matt Ritter]

I have no idea where you're talking.

[Aaron Caro]

So on the lock screen, there's, like, you can access someone's like. Like, my medical. Has my. I'm allergic to shellfish, my blood type, and emergency contacts. And like, the paramedic can look at it.

[Matt Ritter]

You know what? The shellfish allergy People need that stuff.

[Aaron Caro]

The rest of us, listen, we. We were about to give this guy some shrimp cock. Some. Some oysters.

[Matt Ritter]

You know, imagine like a whole team of paramedics. They're just like, hey, you want some shrimp cocktail, buddy?

[Aaron Caro]

Yeah, like, bring it back to life so that I have. I have, like, my. Maybe my dad, my sister. And I actually put you. Because my family doesn't live here. Neither does yours. I mean, like your extended family. So if they're gonna call my sister. What.

[Matt Ritter]

What do we have to do?

[Aaron Caro]

I don't know. I mean, I think you got to come to the hospital. If I get into a car accident, knock on wood.

[Matt Ritter]

Yeah. Yeah, I'm good. I'm good for it. I'm good for it.

[Aaron Caro]

Okay. By the way, you made it seem like I'm good.

[Matt Ritter]

Yeah, I meant like I'm good for it. Even though Kiro didn't pick up my emergency call. Should we get into that?

[Aaron Caro]

Let's do it. I wanna. Do you want to tell it or should I tell it? Or should I tell the beginning and you let me tell the beginning. Me tell the. How it started before the labor.

[Matt Ritter]

Okay. I don't even know. I don't even know how you even.

[Aaron Caro]

Like were so basically listeners. Matt's wife Jess was very, very, very pregnant with their second beautiful boy. And about a week before I was with Matt and Jess and I said, listen, there's a chance. For whatever reason, babies only come in the middle of the night. It never comes at three o' clock in the afternoon. You, you have a two year old. Brenner, if you need me to like keep this kid alive for a couple hours. When you go to the hospital, all you do is call. And it's the middle of the night, you call me twice because there's a do not disturb on iPhone. The same number calls me twice. It rings. Otherwise it doesn't ring because then you just get woken up. Just call me twice and I'll come and then you can take over the story.

[Matt Ritter]

So we had a scheduled. See, we thought Jesse wanted to do a natural birthday and you know, it wasn't looking like it was gonna happen. And then just at like 4 in the morning, whatever reason, I couldn't sleep. Usually I sleep like a baby. I must have had a feeling that it was coming. She comes downstairs, she's like, I'm in, I'm in labor.

[Aaron Caro]

Wait, you were downstairs?

[Matt Ritter]

I was downstairs on my laptop, which I Never am at 3:45.

[Aaron Caro]

Oh God, that's so, so bleak.

[Matt Ritter]

Yeah, no, clearly, like I felt it something, you know?

[Aaron Caro]

Yeah.

[Matt Ritter]

So she's like, like, so like it's 3:45. So are you like, do we need to go to the hospital? Or like are you. I don't know, just stay up. Like I'm not sure. And so then I'm like, I just continued to work. I'm kind of like thinking about the game plan. Who would we call? Blah, blah, it's 4:30. She's like, we gotta go. I'm like, okay, well we'll call her. Call our nanny. She was already, you know, pre vetted to be on call, but I guess her version of on call doesn't mean 4:30. It just didn't pick up. We had a couple of other parents who live nearby with the neighbors live right next door. That was the obvious one. They are having some stuff going on at their house. Neither of them were available and my neighbor said, oh, well, why don't you just text the back house tenant?

[Aaron Caro]

Well, hold on. You missed. You forgot the whole part of the story where you tried to call me.

[Matt Ritter]

No, I'll get to it.

[Aaron Caro]

Oh, this is before. This is before you called me or.

[Matt Ritter]

That was his first. That was his first thing that he mentioned.

[Aaron Caro]

Okay.

[Matt Ritter]

And Jesse and I were like, is he out of his mind? I'm not going to call the Airbnb backhouse tenant, 25 year old, at 4:30 in the morning to watch my child. I'm going to call Cairo. So then call. Cairo doesn't pick up. Jess calls Cairo, he doesn't pick up. I call Cairo, he doesn't pick up. Jess calls Cairo, he doesn't pick up. All right. We called him four times. Call, I would say, conservatively, 22 to 26 other people who live in the neighborhood. I didn't call like Londy or Jeff. They live in the Valley. That doesn't make sense. You know. You know, you gotta be within 10 minutes. So Jesse's like. I was like, should we just bring Brenner to the hospital? It's not a big deal. She freaked out. She got like livid at me. Like just the notion of.

[Aaron Caro]

Can you explain that more? Because when I was telling other friends the story, they were like, what's the big deal?

[Matt Ritter]

It's just like, it's just, it's chaotic. It could get traumatic. It's. There's a lot of bad things that could go sideways. You don't want, you want the kid involved, but, you know, well, you could.

[Aaron Caro]

Have just taken him for half an hour till somebody woke up.

[Matt Ritter]

Oh, yeah, yeah. We could have just taken him to see for sure. But then like, then you have to. There's logistical stuff.

[Aaron Caro]

Yeah.

[Matt Ritter]

Where do I park? Where do I go? You know, it's like, how do I find him? So eventually Jesse hit the wall where she's like, all right, effort. Call Sharma. So I literally call our neighbor's back house, Airbnb tenant who, you know, we, we know him, but like, we've never like asked it. You know, we're not like. He didn't, he wasn't aware of this at all.

[Aaron Caro]

He's like a medium term. He's been there for a Minute.

[Matt Ritter]

Been there for a minute. But like, you know, he's 25 and it's not like in our life. So comes over, like slumped over, head down, hat on. You need me to do what? And I was like, nothing, man. You know, we don't need you to like, deliver the baby. I need you to just go lay on the couch and go to sleep until my buddy Caro comes. And so eventually my real emergency contact showed up at 6. And then I was made aware of that whole, you know, double. I don't think most people know. I think I'm doing a psa just even telling this story. You can break do not disturb with two calls in a row, allegedly from.

[Aaron Caro]

The same number if, if it's, if it's set that way. So, so, so, listeners, I woke up and I had four missed calls, but it was Matt, Jess. Matt, Jess. So it didn't trigger it. And it was, you know, I felt bad, but also I was like, damn, this was my moment. This was my moment.

[Matt Ritter]

You still stepped up.

[Aaron Caro]

Well, so then I, I came over and, and, and you and I discussed this. This was a little bit like when I babysat for and Bombay Claire, where I thought, I'm. I'm coming over to watch Brener. Brenner's still asleep.

[Matt Ritter]

Oh, Brer, you were there. You were there to do nothing, make.

[Aaron Caro]

Sure the house doesn't burn down or, or something horrible happens.

[Matt Ritter]

That's.

[Aaron Caro]

It's an important job. So then eventually he started stirring. So I go into his room and I turn. He's going, dad, dad, dad. Which is nice. He calls for dad. I turn on the light. At first, just a look of utter confusion on his face. He's standing up in the crib. And then just sorrow. Just like, what is this? Absolutely not. Like, how dare you? Who are you? And then in Vinny, in very Brenner esque manner, within three minutes, he's like, you're my dad now. Like, he was like, okay, he's over it.

[Matt Ritter]

Yeah, yeah, that's great. That's great. Anyway, so I learned a lesson. You can double break people. I, I, first of all, I didn't know anything about the whole emergency stuff, medical stuff on the phone. It's a great PSA you're doing.

[Aaron Caro]

Yes. You can set up your health ID on, on your lock screen, on your phone. You could put ice for your emergency contact. To be honest, Matt, I would have to say that you actually did have a pretty good plan in place. It just like, I can't imagine that any of your neighborhood Friends like these people aren't up at 5 in the morning.

[Matt Ritter]

Oh, so this is my hot take. This is my big hot take after all that. Because you know me, you could text me. East coast people could text. No matter where you are in the world. You text me at 5am I'm there, I'm responding. You know, everybody's like, do you sleep?

[Aaron Caro]

Yeah.

[Matt Ritter]

Everybody else is lying about their being a morning person.

[Aaron Caro]

Oh, interesting.

[Matt Ritter]

They're all lying. They're all lying.

[Aaron Caro]

I thought it was less of a morning person. Just aren't parents up pretty early?

[Matt Ritter]

They're all lying. Yeah, none of them are up except me.

[Aaron Caro]

Yeah, cuz really like it got to like 5:30ish.

[Matt Ritter]

That's what I'm saying. Still at 5:30, nobody was up.

[Aaron Caro]

That's not that early.

[Matt Ritter]

That's not that early. It's not that early.

[Aaron Caro]

Yeah, yeah. I mean I'm sure they.

[Matt Ritter]

I'm sure we've got a lot of fake morning people.

[Aaron Caro]

I'm sure the half people looked at the phone like why is Matt calling me? And just rolled over.

[Matt Ritter]

I mean it should have been pretty obvious he's got a 10 month pregnant wife. I wonder what he wanted. I wonder what it could be. I wonder if he just wants to drop off a bottle of bourbon.

[Aaron Caro]

So we mentioned Julian very, very briefly. But I guess we should do our official welcome Julian to the world. Welcome to the pod. Congratulations pod.

[Matt Ritter]

Welcome to the pod, Julian. So I wanted. Let's get into the topic of emergency contacts.

[Aaron Caro]

Wait, can we just discuss that you've had two children since we started the pod.

[Matt Ritter]

Oh, that's a doozy.

[Aaron Caro]

You began the pod as a single. As a childless man.

[Matt Ritter]

Yeah, really, Things have really escalated.

[Aaron Caro]

Things have escalated.

[Matt Ritter]

They really, really. Yeah, yeah, yeah. We were just.

[Aaron Caro]

Well Matt, you know, sorry to wild and crazy guys. Well, you know like Matt, like your number one, you know, personality traitors. You have an addictive personality. You're addicted to having sons.

[Matt Ritter]

Am I Elon now?

[Aaron Caro]

Oh yeah.

[Matt Ritter]

Am I Nick Cannon?

[Aaron Caro]

Anyway.

[Matt Ritter]

So let's talk about emergency contacts. I think it's a nice signifier. You know we talk about on this part of like leveling up friendships and you know, it's hard to kind of denote like a benchmark. I think like is emergency contact like the peak benchmark? Right.

[Aaron Caro]

So lumos level up moments. It's like you have an acquaintance, then you have a friend. Then your friend meets your other friends and your friend meets your parents. Then you and the friend go on a trip together, then the friends in your wedding party. Then you call the friend your best friend and then it's like emergency contact.

[Matt Ritter]

Right. I think the final level is that the final boss?

[Aaron Caro]

Well, here the one caveat would be they have to lead. They have to be close to you physically, like proximity.

[Matt Ritter]

Right. Right. So it's not exclusive. It doesn't. It's not. Right. You can still be super close to somebody and not be an emergency contact. But if you are an emergency contact, you've reached. Although maybe there is that caveat that like some people don't have somebody as close, which I want to get into in our listener question, so I want to save it.

[Aaron Caro]

Well, I would also say not every best friend.

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[Matt Ritter]

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[Aaron Caro]

Emergency contact worthy.

[Matt Ritter]

Ooh, should we just save this for the listener question? You're hammering everything.

[Aaron Caro]

All right, guys, hold on. We'll be right back. Okay, guys, this is asking for our. I screwed up the name of our own thing. This is asking for a friend. This is our listener question segment. If you have a friendship question or ethical dilemma, send it to us on Instagram man of the Year podcast, and we will answer it on the show. And if you want, we will anonymize it if you don't want to use your name. All good, Matt, Take it away.

[Matt Ritter]

This is good because you almost hit, like, all the beats of this. Okay, Matt and Caro, friendship question. A buddy of mine just told me I'm his emergency contact, like, officially listed, which I guess is an honor question mark. But here's the twist. I've never listed him as mine. He actually italicized him. So should I feel flattered, guilty, or slightly weirded out that I'm apparently the responsible one in his life?

[Aaron Caro]

Well, I mean, you know, I list you as my emergency contact. I don't think you've ever listed me. You have a wife. Let's just assume these two people don't have partners. Otherwise, they probably list their partner's emergency contact. I think it's a great honor. I hope. Listen, emergency contact is. Is. I hope. I hope I never. I hope you never get the call. Right, Right. You know, and if we. And if we live a good life, maybe once in the next 30 years, will you ever get a call, and maybe it's for something good, like a birth.

[Matt Ritter]

Right, Right. I mean, I think it's flattering.

[Aaron Caro]

Yeah.

[Matt Ritter]

Like, first of all, that means they trust you. Right. Also, you're the stable one. Right. Somehow you're responsible enough to. I'm shocked that I'm. You know, it could be anybody's.

[Aaron Caro]

At point.

[Matt Ritter]

This. This point in my life, like you said, things have changed. But here's the other. Here's the other piece. And we talk about this, like, when we say friendship isn't always 50. 50. I think we've never said this But I think, like, friendship isn't always symmetrical too. You know what I mean?

[Aaron Caro]

Yeah.

[Matt Ritter]

You wouldn't call them your emergency contact. Doesn't mean they wouldn't or shouldn't call you. Like, I don't think there's anything wrong with a certain degree of friendship asymmetry. We talked about this a little bit in a different context where it's like, sometimes people can do things to help you and you can't, like, reciprocate in the same way, whether it be they're in a different place in their life, they are in a different financial status, just whatever the case may be. And that's okay.

[Aaron Caro]

Friendship asymmetry. Love that. Writing it down. Also, like, I could be this guy, could be his friend's emergency contact. And this guy is something else to this friend. This is the guy who knows about cars.

[Matt Ritter]

I love that. Right, right. We all have a role to play. I mean, we talk about this all the time. What is your role? And know your role. Embrace your role. So you've just got tapped.

[Aaron Caro]

You know what? I thought you were gonna say Matt or I thought the question was gonna be this guy. This guy made me his emergency contact. And we're not even that close.

[Matt Ritter]

Well, here's the other situation, and I wanted to get into this because I do think some of our listeners are maybe feeling a little uncomfortable right now because I want to acknowledge the people who. Maybe you don't have a lot of people that are, like, super close to you, but you still want or need an emergency. Everybody should have an emergency contact. Okay. And so maybe we should talk a little bit about that, because it's okay to not. Obviously we want people to have close friends that are their emergency contacts, but sometimes people don't have a lot of people in their life. And so it could be more about their situation. You know what I mean?

[Aaron Caro]

Totally. And, like, emergency contact is a lot more sort of utilitarian. Like, it's something that you need. Like, I know people whose, like, co worker or boss is their emergency contact because they know where. That they spend a lot of time together. They're responsible. They know where they are.

[Matt Ritter]

Like, that cuts against what we said about it being the apex level of French, of. Of friendship. But it can be. It can be. It can be. If the friendship is already close.

[Aaron Caro]

Well, yes. Just. Just because you are emergency contact doesn't mean you're apex level. But if you're apex level, you. But if you are, you could. You know, the Venn diagram is not.

[Matt Ritter]

Totally symmetrical exactly, but I think you just have the conversation. Right. So if, if it's some sort of like weirdness, first of all, have the convo, just be like, oh, I didn't know that. That's, I'm honored. Right. Is there anything I need to know?

[Aaron Caro]

Oh, I think you just do nothing. I mean like nothing. Yeah. I mean, unless you need to know their allergies. Like, it's, it's because what is the emergency contact even for?

[Matt Ritter]

Well, for me it was to help take care of my two year old child. That nobody picked mantle for.

[Aaron Caro]

No, but wait, that I want to wet.

[Matt Ritter]

That nobody wanted to pick up the mantle for. Right?

[Aaron Caro]

No, no, but I'm saying that was you calling. Emergency contact is like when the hospital calls you.

[Matt Ritter]

Oh, right. Oh, yeah, yeah. I guess it's when you're like in a car accident or something bad happens or. Right.

[Aaron Caro]

I mean, it's exactly. So. So in a, in a. Let's, you know, in a hyper horrible hypothetical, I'm in a car accident, they look up on my phone, they call you, you come to the hospital, you call my parents.

[Matt Ritter]

Right.

[Aaron Caro]

I mean, that's pretty much it.

[Matt Ritter]

Yeah. Everybody should be able to do it. But I guess my question, I had a question for you that maybe we should throw in of like, what do you do if you just don't feel comfortable with this?

[Aaron Caro]

Right, right. Well, first of all, here's.

[Matt Ritter]

I mean, you know, for some people it's an imposition. Right. It's a burden. It's like, I don't know that I want to do this.

[Aaron Caro]

Well, also, like, I mean, I think I, I think I sent you a picture when I made you like, I sub. I went to some and I, I wrote maybe a colonoscopy or something. Colonoscopy? Colonoscopy. You don't ever have to tell the person that your emergency, your emergency contact. You can just do it.

[Matt Ritter]

I guess if you didn't tell them, there could be a scenario where like somebody calls and they're like, hey, you're in his mer. Cond. Like, nope. Bye.

[Aaron Caro]

Right, right. Not interested. Goodbye.

[Matt Ritter]

They pass. It's like, oh, this is 911. This is the EMS at Cedars calling.

[Aaron Caro]

Yeah.

[Matt Ritter]

Nope.

[Aaron Caro]

I mean, that's a, that's kind of a strange prank. Like you could just list anybody as your. I mean, you could list.

[Matt Ritter]

Oh, that would be if you got some celebs number.

[Aaron Caro]

Yeah, exactly. I have a couple.

[Matt Ritter]

He gets a call.

[Aaron Caro]

Yeah, we have a couple celebs numbers. Yeah, this, this reminds me, Matt, this is slightly adjacent, but I meant to tell you this anecdote. I ran into this girl, and then later I saw Instagram that she knew somebody else I knew, and I go, oh, I know her. She goes, oh, that's my best friend. And I go, oh, that's so cool. And then later I saw the other girl. I go, oh, yeah, I saw your best friend. She goes, we're not best friends. Yeah.

[Matt Ritter]

If you recall, very early on the pod, I said, I don't like the best friend designations because you get into this weird thing where it's like somebody could have hurt feelings. I know.

[Aaron Caro]

But then once I started calling you my best friend, then you. You. You really like.

[Matt Ritter]

Oh, then I soak. Soaked it in. I go, yeah. Oh, you'll appreciate this. I had a great exchange with one of our buddies, Dr. Dave. You know, he's always helpful whenever somebody breaks something. My buddy Dan. Dil's crew. Dan broke his wrist in a basketball game. So of course I texted, Yep, Dr. Dave. It's like, he doesn't know this guy, so give him special treatment. I was like, oh, he's one of my BFFs out here. So, like, I said that to give him the special. I talked to Dave on the phone. He goes, that's just, like, a funny choice of phrase. Is your bff? I'm like, well, West Coast. West coast, you know? And then, like, he was like, no, I don't even care. I just think it's funny that you're a grown man texting bff.

[Aaron Caro]

Yes. Yes. You hang out hanging out too much with me. He's my. He's my biffle.

[Matt Ritter]

What am I doing, by the way? Do that. I guess I do do that now.

[Aaron Caro]

Yeah. I've actually never heard you use that phrase in my life.

[Matt Ritter]

Well, I just wanted to get good service.

[Aaron Caro]

Right. Although I will say, do you. Do you remember Dr. D? I gave him a pretty big props about a year ago because I. Because it was the episode we were talking about favors, people asking you for law advice and all that crap.

[Matt Ritter]

He gets it the worst.

[Aaron Caro]

No, but. But. And I said to you, Madison, every time I've reached out to him, I go, hey, is it okay if my cousin calls you? You know what? He always responds one word. Absolutely.

[Matt Ritter]

Of course. He's the best. I mean, right? He's the greatest.

[Aaron Caro]

Right? But you and I got into a whole discussion about, like, why is. How come what is annoying for you and not for him and blah, blah, blah. But I guess he's an active doctor. I don't know. You're not an active player.

[Matt Ritter]

Listen, shout out to Dr. Dave. He's a hero is what he is. He's an everyday hero.

[Aaron Caro]

He's a hero. So I think, to answer this question one, I think you should. This guy should take it as an honor. He shouldn't say, oh, I don't list you. Who cares?

[Matt Ritter]

Yeah, I agree. Friendship asymmetry is totally fine.

[Aaron Caro]

And I want to think a little bit more about, like, if some random person, if some tertiary friend was like, I made you my burners in contact.

[Matt Ritter]

I could see Caro saying, no, thanks. I. I could see Carol going, is there an opt out button on this?

[Aaron Caro]

Yeah, I'd be like, oh, actually, you have to call three times from the same number.

[Matt Ritter]

Yeah, I mean, I mean, I think it's a good. I think it's also a good time for everybody listening to this to make your emergency contact list, like, who's in it and why. And I think maybe it's a good time. Like, that's always a good time to. It's like, hey, like what you talked about, you know, your inventory at the beginning of the year.

[Aaron Caro]

The funny thing is that for me and you, yeah, we did everything right. I said, I'm available. This is what you got to do. And we just biffed it.

[Matt Ritter]

No, I didn't. Okay. So actually, I think we didn't even talk about this. I didn't know Jess was also calling you. Yeah, so we were both on. I didn't know why it was happening. That's the hilarious part. Like, I did it. Just didn't process that. I called, then she called, then I called, then she called. I'm like, what the hell? Even though I didn't even know about the double call thing. I think she might have known about it. And I broke her attempt. So I think I broke up her attempt.

[Aaron Caro]

All I got to say is Julian came into the. Became a member of the Ritter family as on brand as could possibly be.

[Matt Ritter]

Yeah, amazing.

[Aaron Caro]

Thank you so much for that question that was asking for a friend, guys. If you have a listener question, send it to us on Instagram and we'll answer on the show.

[Matt Ritter]

Matt, any final thoughts about emergency contacts?

[Aaron Caro]

Well, we, I think, I think, you know, we. We didn't really talk about too much. We. We were just talking about the. The concept of friends as first responders. Right. We think of, you know, your firefighters and your police. Police. Police people. But really friends are your first responders to non medical emergencies as well. Right. And so we've been talking about physical stuff and dangerous and Accidents. But you know, we also try to think of our friends as first responders to emotional needs to conflict resolution. And you know, it's, it's important to appreciate your first responders just like we do the real ones.

[Matt Ritter]

I. I love it. All right, shout out to the friendship first responders. I mean, a lot of fires going on in your day to day. You need a first responder to put.

[Aaron Caro]

That fire out at 7pm should we all go out and clap and ring.

[Matt Ritter]

Cowbell outside for the friendship first responders? I mean, first responders. When you're like, I think I'm gonna quit my job, like on a whim, you know, you better call your friendship first responder.

[Aaron Caro]

Right, Right. Before you do anything rash.

[Matt Ritter]

Rash. Before you do anything rash, make sure you check in with your friendship first responder.

[Aaron Caro]

Yeah. Before you quit your job, call 911. But in this case, 911 is your biffles number.

[Matt Ritter]

Right. If you're. If you have a family and you're about to book a one way flight to Colombia, never to return, just check in with your friendship first responder.

[Aaron Caro]

If you're about to cut your bangs, call your friendship first responder.

[Matt Ritter]

If you're about to dye your hair a weird color, call your friendship first responder.

[Aaron Caro]

If you're about to get back together with your ex boyfriend. And call your friendship first responder.

[Matt Ritter]

If you are about to. These are, These are good. Yeah. If you're about to liquidate your son's five to nine because you think the Knicks are going to make it to the finals, call your friendship first responder.

[Aaron Caro]

There actually should be a small print at the bottom of every fanduel and draftkings ad before placing bet. Call your friendship first responder.

[Matt Ritter]

Oh, that's good. Yeah.

[Aaron Caro]

And if you're the first responder, pick up, pick up, pick up the phone. Get over there. Put the. You know what I should do, Matt? I should get those lights like a naked gun and put it on top of my car when I drive over to you.

[Matt Ritter]

Everywhere I looked, I reminded me of her. Remember that?

[Aaron Caro]

Yeah. All right. Any. Anything else want to add?

[Matt Ritter]

No. I think now I know about a lot more about the iPhone. I got to, I got to fiddle around with it.

[Aaron Caro]

I love it. And welcome to the world. And welcome to the pod, Julian. Thank you, guys. Let us know who your friendship first responder is and if you've ever had any emergency contact. Embro. Thank you so much for listening. Always remember, be good to yourself. Be good to your friends. Love you, buddy.

[Matt Ritter]

Love you. Buddy.

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