#146 - Pals Play Pickleball

Summary

Podcast Summary: Man of the Year #146 – Pals Play Pickleball

Hosts: Matt Ritter & Aaron Karo
Release Date: August 26, 2025

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Episode Overview

In this lively episode, Matt and Aaron dive into the booming trend of social sports—particularly pickleball—and how they're revitalizing adult friendships in a time of claimed "friendship recession." They share personal stories, discuss notable cultural shifts (like Andre Agassi’s investment in new pickleball/padel venues), and answer a listener’s question about turning teammates into real friends. True to form, the conversation blends practical advice with plenty of banter and hallmarks of their decades-long friendship.

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Key Discussion Points & Insights

A Neighborhood Pizza Place Showdown

• [00:54–04:10]

  • Matt recounts a recent confrontation at a local, kid-friendly pizza place:

    • A non-parent diner aggressively complained about the noise from Matt’s group of families and kids.
    • Matt wonders if he was in the wrong; Aaron (and the restaurant owner) mostly side with him.
    • The consensus: It’s a public, child-centric place at kid hours. The unhappy patron's confrontational approach was "insane" and uncalled for.

    Notable Quote:

    "You ever have somebody come in so hot? You're like, this has to be a joke."
    — Matt [02:03]

    • Aaron reflects: even if Matt's group was noisy, yelling is never a mature way to handle it; empathy and perspective matter.

The Rise of Social Sports: Pickleball, Paddle & Beyond

• [07:45–13:13]

  • Sparked by Andre Agassi’s investment in Ballers, a new multi-sport social club, the hosts discuss how venues blend affordable, accessible sports like pickleball and padel with bars, patios, and social events.

  • Compared to old models (kickball leagues, country clubs, or CrossFit gyms), the new clubs:

    • Remove barriers to spontaneous socializing.
    • Attract multi-generational, gender-inclusive crowds.
    • Allow people to participate at all skill levels.

    Notable Quote:

    "It’s almost like you’ve signed a waiver when you walk into that pizza place at 5:30."
    — Matt [07:17]

    • These clubs hit on the hosts' recurring theme: removing friction from adult friend-making.

    Notable Quote:

    "They’re basically just wrapping it all into one where you don't have to play that day. You could just be going there to hang out…like a country club, but for everyone."
    — Matt [09:47]

Listener Story: When the “Third Place” is Lost

• [12:49–16:34]

  • Aaron shares a voice message from his friend Matt, a TV writer, whose beloved local country club (their “third place”) burned down in a fire.

    • The club’s closure devastated their tight-knit tennis group, showing the importance—and vulnerability—of community spaces.
    • Matt and Aaron reflect on adapting and ritualizing new social structures as adults, echoing the pandemic’s impact on connection.

    Notable Quote:

    "If you have a great core crew, you do have to find new structures…because adult friendship doesn’t just happen organically."
    — Matt [16:00]

    • Losing a “third place” forces a group to invent new rituals or face drifting apart.

The Concept of the "Third Team"

• [17:03–18:19]

  • Matt introduces the "third team":

    1. First team: Family
    2. Second team: Coworkers (work friends)
    3. Third team: Activity-based/social group (e.g., pickleball club, gym buddies)
    • Organized social-sport clubs supercharge this third team, making it easier to form meaningful connections.

    Notable Quote:

    "This makes this the super third place. This is like apex level third place. These new social sports clubs."
    — Matt [17:28]

Why Social Sports Succeed Where Others Fall Short

• [18:30–20:19]

  • The hosts agree: Social sports like pickleball hit the right “Venn diagram” of competition and accessibility.

    • Activities serve as automatic icebreakers; no small talk needed.
    • Facilities offer different skill-level classes to lower barriers to entry.

    Notable Quote:

    "I think they've found the perfect level of competitiveness and lack of skill needed…you don’t need a lot of skill, but it’s still competitive."
    — Matt [19:53]

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Listener Question: How Do I Turn a Teammate into a Friend?

• [22:28–31:55]

A listener asks how to make friends in an adult soccer league where chatter rarely goes beyond small talk.

Hosts’ Advice:

• Organize post-game hangouts—invite the whole team (not just one person).

  "It's self-selecting…it's hard to pick off one person…just send it around the text chain: 'Hey, a few of us are getting beers after.'" — Matt [24:01]

• Tie events to mutual interests (e.g., watching a soccer match on TV together).
• Arrive early to games: one-on-one pre-game chat leads to deeper connection.

  "Show up early to the soccer match. Whoever…straggles in, you get to talk to them one on one." — Aaron [26:08]

• Be patient: adult friendships build slowly, especially in group activities.

Foundational Principle:

"Be the friend. You gotta do it yourself because they’re not going to invite you."
— Aaron [28:22]

• Sometimes, the activity itself is the main reward. Even if no deep friendship forms, enjoying soccer & positive interactions still boost social health.

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Memorable Moments & Quotes

• "The activity is the icebreaker. It’s already built in." — Matt [18:32]
• "Giving it a name…I love that. Stickier, as we always talk about." (On naming your group, like "Band of Brothers") — Matt [14:01]
• Aaron’s trivia: “Did you know that an entire basketball court fits in the penalty box of a soccer field?” [29:48]
• “Pickleball and these social sports are an introvert’s dream, because the sport itself is the icebreaker.” — Matt [32:26]

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Key Timestamps

| Segment | Time | |------------------------------------------|---------------| | Pizza Place Anecdote | 00:54–07:45 | | Rise of Social Sports / Pickleball Boom | 07:45–13:13 | | Listener Story: Club Burned Down | 12:49–16:34 | | The "Third Team" Concept | 17:03–18:19 | | Why Pickleball Works | 18:30–20:19 | | Listener Q: Making Teammates Friends | 22:28–31:55 | | Final Thoughts on Social Sports/Introverts| 32:11–32:51 |

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Tone & Language

Informal, witty, good-natured banter; candid insights on friendship, with plenty of relatable personal stories. The hosts balance humor with concrete advice, making the episode both entertaining and actionable.

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Final Takeaways

• Social sports clubs are redefining adult friendship, offering a ready-made structure for connection.
• Activities like pickleball succeed by lowering skill barriers, fostering inclusivity, and embedding socializing right into the venue.
• Building friendship takes intentional effort—be the one to organize, suggest, or simply start a conversation.
• Even if deep friendship doesn’t happen, doing activities you love with others advances your social fitness and happiness.
• Don’t underestimate the power of "third places"—when lost, they’re deeply felt, but rituals and new structures can evolve.

Classic sign-off:
"Always remember, be good to yourself. Be good to your friends. Love you, buddy."

Transcript

[A]

Foreign.

[B]

Welcome to the number one friendship podcast in the country. I'm Matt Ritter.

[A]

I'm Aaron Caro.

[B]

Guys, go to manoftheyearpodcast.com, go to YouTube, buy some merch. The we should be friends shirt always works. It's always a hit anywhere you go. If you're traveling, if you're at a bar, want to make some friends. It's the lowest hanging of the fruit. You know, a, a T shirt with some friendly branding on it.

[A]

You, you wore the we should be friends shirt to my birthday recently. It looks like it's seen better days.

[B]

You know, it's, it's held up consider considerably considering how much I wear it.

[A]

Okay, that's touche.

[B]

You know, like I've been, I've been wearing that thing, I've been riding that thing raw, Rough, rough riding that shirt. So I have a question for you. Because you're not a parent, we had a bit of a tiff at a dinner at our local pizza place. So we have a local pizza place.

[A]

And we go at 5 Friday night, right? We talked about it. Because you're not a pizza guy, remember?

[B]

That's right. 5:00 clock and around 5:30, a bunch of other families were there and we get up greeting and we get loud and the kids are messy. There was a, I don't know, I want to say early 30s, two guys that were doing a catch up and outside the outside tables and they were caught kind of between a bunch of families. This kid gets up and screams at us and he goes, I can't effing hear my friend. I was like, excuse me. I thought it was, it was, it came in so hot. You ever have somebody come in so hot? You're like, this has to be a joke.

[A]

Yes.

[B]

So he was like, yeah, what do you guys think? You own the place? And so I was just like, look around man, it's five o', clock, it's outdoors at a pizza place. There's kids running around. He's like, I've been coming here my whole life, blah, blah, like getting a whole thing. I'm like, settle down man. I'm here with my 8 week old. And then everybody was like, let it go. And then I confronted him and I told him, if you ever come back.

[A]

Here again, we're gonna have problems, okay?

[B]

And then he ran away and his friend got up and I thought he was gonna get in my face too. And he goes, I'm so sorry about my friend, he's a total a hole. But my question is, I was trying to see the other side of it. I'm like, am I crazy for thinking that guy was way out of line? Like, yes, we're being loud. Yes, we've de facto taken over the place, but we, you know, and with the owner's like, implicit blessing, he was there. I mean, he's there. He's like, I don't know what that guy's problem was. Well, and you know, you're not like, you can go to somewhere and I, I assume you may have been in a situation like this where. And I know your dad hates having kids in restaurants, so. But this is outdoors. We should get Al on the pod. But I would love to know Al's opinion because this is outdoors at a child friendly pizza place at 5:30 when this happened.

[A]

Yeah. My dad, I could feel him steaming up. I think it's, it's. Let's start with the guy regardless. Let's just say I think you're wrong or you were so loud it was crazy. There's. That's no way to. That's insane to start screen, like assuming what you're saying is accurate. And I.

[B]

My stroller was. Their baby was laying in the stroll. Everybody was like, what?

[A]

Right? Like, like just, I mean, that's just a crazy way to live your life. Even if, even if, even if someone was banging on the back of your, you know, seat in an airplane, you wouldn't just go to 10, you go, hey, man. You know, like, so. That's insane.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

You know, listen, you're right. I'm not a parent. I've been. I understand. I mean, I, My guess is that like it probably tipped over from.

[B]

Normal.

[A]

Rambunctiousness to maybe like half a point into like insanity for a non parent who's like, it's still a restaurant.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

So, you know, here's the thing. If he came to you and was like, hey man, I totally get. The kids are nuts. And. But like I can't, like, I don't know if he. Would you say anything if he was nice to you?

[B]

Yes. I actually said to his friend, I said I would have apologized and we would have like lowered the decibels a little bit. Right. You know.

[A]

Right.

[B]

I said that to his friend. I'm like, you know, if he just came to be like a normal person, we're like, guys, you're being a little out. Been like, oh, sorry man, you know how it is, you know, kids, whatever. But. And then I would have told everybody, let's, you know, let's move over.

[A]

Yeah. I mean, when the kids are running rough shot and like physically disturbed. Like running. You know, it's tough. Listen, I know you're a parent and it's 5:30 and I've been there. But like, did we talk about on the pod how I was accosted by a child at the gym?

[B]

No. What?

[A]

That, that, that, that I was at the gym and some guy was with his daughter. Oh God, I don't know how old people are.

[B]

Four.

[A]

And, and. And she was like. She was like, hi. I'm like, hi. Like, then she's like, what's your name? I'm like, I'm Aaron. Then, Then she was like, do you have a. She was like, do you have a wife? I'm like, no. She's like, you have a husband? She's talking. I'm like, is this guy gonna come get the kid away? I'm like, can I?

[B]

I sent her there to mess with you.

[A]

Yeah. Like, you know, you know what? I like practicing radical self awareness now. I know that's not the same with a kid.

[B]

Yeah. So. But how long did it, how long did it. Did that interaction go for?

[A]

I mean, she was just in. It was, I don't know, three minutes. I was like.

[B]

And for Kiro, a man of habits, that's three out of his 17 minute tight. Karo fit workout wrecked.

[A]

She's picking up my headphones, like my earbuds and like when I put them in.

[B]

The kids love picking up earbuds. FYI never leaves near a child.

[A]

The thing is, Matt, you. You couldn't keep track of your earbuds pre children. So without. With kids.

[B]

I know. But to find my iPhone things pretty easy.

[A]

By the way, one other thing on this guy. So I'm going to say you're both wrong. He's more wrong.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

One other thing. Someone said this me the other day. The whole thing of yelling at someone these days. And I know you're in Larmont, whatever. People are insane.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

Like you could have a gun.

[B]

No, that's the thing. The entitlement to yell at somebody is the crazy part. Just thinking that you're. You're just going to consequence free yell at somebody.

[A]

Right. I mean, not that you should get shot for that, but I'm saying people get shot for less.

[B]

Yeah. No, it was, it was wild. But I just think like, you know, we have to establish like what is. I feel like, you know, we go there so that we're not bothering anybody. That's why we. That's the one place where it's like, it's five. It's all kids. They're all running around. It's almost like you've signed a waiver when you walk into that pizza place at 5:30.

[A]

And Larch Mont is for our listeners, very kid friendly, kid forward. And also, hey, maybe this guy was having a rough ass day.

[B]

Yeah. Anyway, I was right. I'm glad you support me. I wanted to move on to a topic that's been, been in the news lately. The rise of what they call social sports. And I sent you an article. Andre Agassi is an investor in this new company, Ballers. They're opening up these Pickle and Paddle and Padel, I think it's pronounced, which I haven't played. Have you played Padel?

[A]

Is it, is it pronounced Padel? Because I didn't know what that was.

[B]

Yeah, I think, yeah, I think my brother plays it. It's some sort of hybrid of racquetball and something.

[A]

Got it. Okay. I, I, I've heard people say paddle.

[B]

But maybe, maybe it's paddle. Maybe it is paddle.

[A]

Okay.

[B]

Not sure. Anyway, so there's, so there's these spaces that are being built that you know, are kind of like, I guess social club, you know, meets. I guess it's like not a country club, you know, I mean it's, I don't even know how you describe it, but I, I think it's great. I wanted to talk about how I think it's something that's great. It's hitting a lot of the things that we are talking about. I mean have you, do you have any friends who are, are like really leaning into the, to the pickleball? Not just for the pickle of it all, but for the friendship, social element.

[A]

Of it, by the way. Not just for the pickle of it all. Very funny sentence just in reading the article. So he's basically creating a, A, a multi sport venue, but it's also like a bar, you know, a little patio.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

You know my folks play paddle pickleball at the. Yep. You know, not to bring it back to my old CrossFit days, but that stuff always reminds me of CrossFit and that you would go to the place when you weren't doing the thing.

[B]

Right.

[A]

You know, you would pop in to see your friends, watch them work out or watch them play.

[B]

So I think they're solving a real problem in that. Yeah, you would go there but there was nothing else to do. Right. Or you would go play pickup basketball with your friends and then try and get them to go to another bar. So I think a lot of this is removing friction from the equation of how to go from had to hang out the sport play to the social. Right. And so they're basically just wrapping it all into one where it's like you don't have to play that day. You could just be going there to hang out. Sort of like a country club. Right? Country club has that. But country club's friction is it's extremely expensive. Right. And country club caters to golf things that are like five hours, you know, five hour sports. And this is also like thing that could be in urban areas. Right. I think urban areas are really lacking in the social sports. Right. Because there isn't really like a lot of necessarily like country club type setup for, for city folks from what I.

[A]

Understand the focus on. But I think it is. Padel, I think you were right.

[B]

Okay.

[A]

But these sports, like racquetball, pickleball, Padel, they're, they're, they're all similar ish, but they're also like m. Men, women, age, agnostic. Like if you, if you, if you created a, a, a a a A venue based on pickup basketball, you know, you're gonna get a bunch of 45 year old dudes like you, who, who tear Achilles right away, you know, have a beer. But this is, this could be like families, this could be older people, younger people. Like, I think that's why when you sent it to me, I was pretty interested. Like it's, it's actually quite ingenious.

[B]

Yeah. And I think it's, it's kind of building on, you know, you've had these kickball, dodgeball, kind of quasi, you know, like they were like the social sports of the last generation. Right? Yeah. They didn't quite hit for everybody. Right. They were really just, I think they were like really mostly just for people who didn't, you know, who really needed to find people. Um, but they're also like, those aren't like. I don't want to say they're not real sports, but they're not sort of the same level of like if you want the competitive part of it too.

[A]

Well, kick, kickball is, you know, the trope is that's like what you do when you move to a new city and you don't know anybody.

[B]

Right.

[A]

I actually have a lot.

[B]

I think it's useful for that.

[A]

I actually have a line in a script where the person says, kickball, the loneliest teen sport. Those are loneliest team sports.

[B]

Right, Right. And I think that was the knock and I think that's like, fairly valid, you know, Whereas I think, I think no matter what walk of life, you're coming from the pickleball social sports league, it seems more natural. Right. And just in terms of, like, who am I, what am I doing? Anybody can go do this for any reason. So I think that's. It immediately comes without any stigma, which is nice.

[A]

So I wanted to share a message we got. This is from our. My friend Matt, TV writer, friend of the pod. So he, I mentioned to this offline. So he lives in Altadena, which, for our non LA listeners, that's one of the cities that was affected by the LA fire. And he was a member of the Altadena Country Club, which it's been around since 1910. Have you heard of it?

[B]

Yeah, I mean, just only from you. I. I mean, I'm not.

[A]

Yeah. Tennis and country club. I don't know, I'm not. I. Well, you know, spoiler. It burned down. But this has been around since 1910. I don't know, maybe you could translate. He said he's got a group of like 25, 30 friends and they created two USTA teams. What does that mean?

[B]

So USTA US Tennis Association. So there's like amateur rank rankings and stuff too. Like you can be ranked in non.

[A]

Professional, but how do you have 25 people on two teams?

[B]

I don't know. Maybe they have, they have, they have teams for the amateurs. Not sure. We gotta look that up. We gotta look that one up.

[A]

But anyway, he, he, he did something you would like. He said, we call ourselves the Band of Brothers. So ritualize the rituals.

[B]

Yep. Giving it a name. I love that. Stickier. Stickier, as we always talk about.

[A]

And he's like, we'd be there, we'd watch games you weren't playing in. I'd be there five times a week. And then he goes, the club burned down. And I can't tell you how profound the loss has been. This third place has gone. It was such a huge part of our lives. He called it like a guest house slash garage slash catering hall.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

And they may, they're trying to build it back, but he's like, basically, people are moving away. He said it's been devastating.

[B]

Well, you know, that kind of reminds me of how Covid affected people's friendships.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

You know, it is analogous in the sense that, like, it was a big loss and suddenly you're cut off from all this social structure that you had. And then if you recall, what happened was we adapt. Right. People figured it out. They got on weekly Zoom with their friends. And I think the best thing your buddy can do is adapt in the interim. Right. I mean, the good thing is, is that obviously you've already built up a level of closeness with these guys that it's not weird to suggest, like, hey, let's hang out offline. It sounds like if it's that devastating of a loss, you're pretty close with some of these guys. So that's what's great about that, is like, oh, okay, well, we can transfer this good feeling and this good bonding to any location, can't we? Theoretically, yeah.

[A]

I mean, he, he, he, you know, he, he go on. Goes on to say, you know, as you and I know, it's like, you know, like one of his buddies moved to Santa Monica.

[B]

It's like, yeah, you're never gonna have look and you're never gonna recapture. And that's. Look, it's sort of like, hey, you're never gonna recapture your same fraternity. You know, maybe you had 20 friends, and when you were in a college fraternity, you could still be friends with those 20 guys. It's never gonna be the same. Every phase of your. The first job you had when you were eating lunch every day and commiserating that first job, you know, like, for me, like the first, you know, dad friends, you made everything changes, things shift. But if you have a great core crew, you do have to find new structures. I will say that, because we know that friendship as an adult doesn't happen organically. They're gonna have to find, build in new structures for this.

[A]

Yeah, I mean, it's not. I mean, listen, I love this Agassiz thing, but, I mean, it's the same thing. If you, if we, if you started this, you joined it, you made a bunch of bed buddy buddies, and the place went out of business. You know, it's tough.

[B]

Would be hard. It would. It would be very hard. You know, so. But anyway, I wanted to talk about a little bit more about, you know, just like, some of the benefits of. I mean, just, just to kind of like give us a. Kind of a rundown of why we, like, why we love these, you know, and, and I, I, I thought of a term that you might like. I think this is the rise of the third team.

[A]

Okay, wait, wait. Can I, Can I guess?

[B]

Okay, go ahead.

[A]

Well, first team is family.

[B]

Yep.

[A]

Ooh.

[B]

Ooh.

[A]

I don't know. Second team. I don't, I don't. Maybe it's co workers.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

Okay. Okay.

[B]

That's. That's what I'm. That's What I came up with, friends, work, and then. This is your third team. You like it?

[A]

It's the people at the third place.

[B]

Yeah, third team.

[A]

Okay, I'll go for it.

[B]

And that's what's great about this. Look, we call this like a supercharged or a third place on steroids. One that's organized and has a structure and, like, built in. Actually has built in teams even. You know, this is taking even one step further. This has built in teams. And I think that this makes this the super third place. This is like apex level third place. These new social sports clubs.

[A]

Yeah. You know, it is making me a little nostalgic for, for my CrossFit days. Like, you know, you, you also, like, you go to events together. You, you know, new merch comes in. You know, you're texting people, like, oh, what was the workout today? Like, you know, it's. It's community. I mean, it's, it's literally community, which I don't have anymore. And I forgot, is there. Did this article say, like, is there like a restaurant in. Is it like a bar? Or is it more like.

[B]

Yeah, there's food too.

[A]

Okay.

[B]

But the other thing that I love, too. I was going to say what you just said. Like, part of the hard thing about going to a third place and, you know, consistently building and friend making is the small talk, the chit chat. Like, there's no icebreaker needed. The activity is the icebreaker. It's already built in. Like, what you're talking about with your workout thing.

[A]

I, I have a. I have a pitch for this place. And they probably already do it. Maybe not. I, I feel that there needs to be a very robust intro class for people who've never played pickleball or whatever, because that stuff only works if you already know how to play. Otherwise it's pretty intimidating.

[B]

Well, yes, but they have it at all levels. And actually this place specifically said they have intro beginner. Like, okay. They're like, not just classes, like, group. Like, they'll put you in with your peers.

[A]

Okay. Okay. Because, you know, a third place where you're going to a coffee shop. Like, you. Anybody could go to a coffee shop, you know.

[B]

Yes. And I think there is still. Right. And this has always been my issue with golf is like, yeah, you want the socialization, but you need to be on a certain level so you're not feeling awkward about it. Same thing with tennis. Yeah. What's.

[A]

What are you still playing tennis? What's going on?

[B]

Or paddleboard on and off. Pickleball.

[A]

Little too many injuries.

[B]

But I was gonna say this is the other thing in favor of this sport. I think they found the. The kind of perfect level of competitiveness and lack of skill needed. Okay. Matrix of you don't need a lot of skill, but it's still competitive.

[A]

Oh, oh, I see the Venn diagram of, like, it's fun. You could try to win, but, like, you don't have to be.

[B]

Yeah, yeah.

[A]

It's like. It's like beer pong without the alcohol.

[B]

Right. Right. So I think they've really hacked it in a lot of ways. Should we take a listener question?

[A]

We'll be right back.

[C]

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[B]

I need a coffee.

[C]

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[A]

Okay, guys, this is asking for a friend. If you have a friendship question or ethical Dilemma. Send it to us on Instagram at Man of the Year podcast, and we will answer it on the show. Matt, take it away.

[B]

This is great because it plays right into what we were talking about. Matt and Caro. I just joined an adult soccer league, but I'm struggling to make real friends off the field. I show up, play, do some small talk, but it hasn't gone beyond that. How do I turn a teammate into a friend? And I should note, they said I've tried other things. I like soccer better. I'm not a pickleball guy.

[A]

It's funny. I've been watching welcome to Wrexham.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

Which is. It's. It's pretty. Have you ever watched it?

[B]

No.

[A]

I mean, it's pretty wild. They basically just reinvigorated this entire town. And it's. It's.

[B]

It's.

[A]

It's pretty cool. And it just makes me think of, like, God, I haven't kicked a soccer ball in, you know, 25 years. Like, could I. Could I. Could I pick that back up for an adult soccer league? I probably break my leg immediately. So this is something you and I have discussed, which is that, okay, you doing what you love, right? Matt and I, we call this find your golf. His guy's golf is soccer. He likes soccer now he's playing soccer, and there's a bunch of dudes. Assuming it's a guy. Yeah, assuming there's dudes. So now what do we do? Like, because then the whistle blows, everybody goes home. So we need to try to. You're already at your third place. We got to go to the fourth place now. So it's about organizing something that takes you away from soccer. And I think what we usually say is invite everybody and then only some people will show.

[B]

That's exactly right. It's self selecting, right? You. It's hard to pick off one person and go, hey, man, you want to go get a beer in front of everybody? Yeah, you just go, hey, you send it around the text chain, right? Assuming you're on a WhatsApp group to set this thing up. And beforehand you say, hey, a few of us, even if it's just you, you could just say, hey, a few of us are getting beers after there, right? Could literally just be you texting the group with nobody having RSVP saying, hey, a few of us are going to get drinks after the match. All welcome. Here's where we're going. Pick the location, pick the time, make it right across the street.

[A]

Well, do you remember what our other tip slash hack was? Make it make the event tangential to the thing. So the World cup is on, you know, at the bar.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

Something that, you know, everyone's already interested in.

[B]

Right. And also, I think this is another tip we gave. This is like two years ago, but we said, you know, sometimes you gotta be patient with this. It's a slow build on those things. Like the first couple of times you play with a bunch of guys on a soccer field, it's really just about the game. And maybe a little bit of small talk after the first time. You know, get a little. Some of these back building, like, who are these people? What are they into? What's their. Do they have kids? They not have kids. When are they. What's their schedule? Right. Like, are they free the whole night after this? Usually during the week? Or is this like, I have an hour so I play soccer? Because that guy is not going to be the right partner for you.

[A]

So, you know, what you do, Matt, is you take our tip, which is that we say if you're going to meet a buddy or a bunch of buddies for dinner or drinks, get there half an hour early and sit at the bar by yourself. Because, you know, you start talking to somebody or you just get some time, you know, just to be on your own. Show up early to the soccer match. Because whoever the first couple people straggle in there are, you get to talk to them one on one.

[B]

I love that. I actually accidentally have been doing that in my basketball league. I'm always the first person there.

[A]

Just interesting.

[B]

It's closest to my house and I have found that there are a lot of guys there that I'm not that like, that I don't. I didn't know beforehand. And that is the only time I really get a little bit more quality contact with getting to know them.

[A]

Time in your basketball league is someone in charge of bringing the like, ball and shit.

[B]

This is so funny. So me and Dan, and then Dan broke his arm and I broke my. Tore my calf. And I've got three basketballs sitting in my car. And I got a message last week and I'm like following the chain because I couldn't go. And it was like, does anybody have a ball? And I was out and I couldn't. I only saw it after the fact. And like, does anybody have a pump? All this stuff. And they were running late and they finally found a pump. And it was like, I'm looking at my. And Jesse's like, why are there three basketballs in our car right now?

[A]

Wow. So you were in charge of bringing the basketball.

[B]

Yeah, I. Actually, that's a reminder. I gotta get them to somebody.

[A]

Are. Are I. I know this is off topic, but is it shirts and skins, Pennies.

[B]

How you decide teams, you mean?

[A]

No, like, once the teams are set. Is there.

[B]

Oh, no, no. You. I throw the ball to the wrong guy all the time. It's very hard. You're right. You know, you're right. You're right. We're too casual about it. It's very hard to figure out who's on your team in a split second when you're just trying to pass them all.

[A]

But because is everybody. I'm sorry? Is everybody your friend in your group?

[B]

Friend of friends.

[A]

But I'm saying, is this, like when you show up, when you're running against some. Some random people?

[B]

It's all us.

[A]

Oh, so that's impossible. I was probably just on your team five minutes ago. Now you're playing against.

[B]

It is very tricky. We should actually do that.

[A]

You got to get pennies for, like, $7 on Amazon.

[B]

What are pennies? Is it. What do you mean? There's, like, the red thing that goes over. Yeah, yeah, no, I'd rather get, like, urban. Like, you know, make. Make up a. Like the DILFS League or something, you know, but what.

[A]

But it's still got to be a penny.

[B]

No, they can be black and white.

[A]

Yeah, but you need two separate colors.

[B]

Right? That's what I'm saying.

[A]

Right? Yeah, yeah.

[B]

You get two pairs. Everybody gets two pairs.

[A]

Right, Right, right, right, right, right. But anyway, so, yeah, so it's. It's. It's about showing up early. It's about taking your time. It's about feeling it out a little bit. It's about, you know, inviting people to. By the way, we skipped over, obviously, the number one tip of the entire podcast, which is be the friend. You know, I get the feeling this guy's waiting for everybody else to be like, hey, let's go to a barbecue. You got to do it yourself because they're not going to invite you.

[B]

Yeah. And I. I think I've mentioned this. As I said a couple years ago, we talked about this. The end of the season is a natural one to go. Okay? We're gonna get together, we're gonna do something or a holiday. Like, you got to figure out a time that's special. Right. If it's like, oh, this is the end of the season, and set that up in advance.

[A]

Yeah, yeah, I think. I think we did talk about that. Then we worry that it's too late.

[B]

But this is a long term thing, right? I mean, if you're going to do this for a long time, you have to be a little patient. If that's. You're like, I want to become friends with the people in my soccer league. Maybe a slow play. Like, I've been playing. I've been playing. We've been playing for what, three, four months now, and we haven't had a social outing post because it's very hard for us. It's very like, I have to get home for my kids.

[A]

But you guys are already friends.

[B]

Not everybody. I'm saying. I'm sure there's some people in there I would. I wouldn't mind having a beer with, actually.

[A]

Matt, did you know that an entire basketball court fits in the penalty box of a soccer field?

[B]

That's not true.

[A]

It is.

[B]

No, it is.

[A]

It is. No, it's not entire.

[B]

It's not true. That's definitely not true. This is like one of those things where people go, hey, did you know that anybody who was born in 2001 is 50 years old this year?

[A]

Yeah. A full size basketball court can easily fit in a soccer penalty box.

[B]

Fact. That's not possible. It's impossible. Yeah, yeah, I know. That's when you find out that, like, Russia is like just a little piece of Africa. When you, like, shape it in.

[A]

Is that. Is that like that?

[B]

Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. You know, like the job. You know that map that's wrong. You know how they say, like, there's. Because it's distorts Because.

[A]

Oh, yeah.

[B]

On a globe.

[A]

Oh, yeah.

[B]

So that the. The ones that are at the top get stretched and the ones in the middle.

[A]

Oh, our entire, like, everything else. This is from Tik Tok. Our entire, you know, vision of the world is completely wrong.

[B]

Yes. Correct. Wait, so. Oh, wow. That penalty box thing is blowing my mind. That's. That's crazy. Yeah, Crazy.

[A]

Yeah. So when you're. When you're tired from running, get to get back. Are you playing full court?

[B]

Only if we have 10 guys.

[A]

Okay. So when you're tired from running back on to get on defense, you haven't even gone like a tenth of a soccer field.

[B]

Sheesh. All right, so did we answer it?

[A]

I think we gave a lot of good advice, but I also just want to add that like this to you. You said this at the beginning, Matt. This guy joined the soccer league because he likes soccer. And to me, ultimately, that will pan out because he's. He's excited. He likes it. He's probably good at it.

[B]

Can I say one more thing.

[A]

Yes.

[B]

You may never make a friend there, but you're doing something you love. And that's just going to make you just your entire social fitness better because you're interacting with people doing something you love. They may never end up being your people. Maybe they are. We'll see how it plays out. You could find people elsewhere and that's still serving a great purpose in your. Your life.

[A]

Yeah, there's no. I don't see any downside.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

All right, guys, that was asking for a friend. If you have a friendship question, send it to us on Instagram. And also we can anonymize it if you don't want us to use your name like we just did. Matt, any other ballers thoughts?

[B]

I think it works great for people that aren't that social. You know what I'm saying?

[A]

It's. It, it's. Yeah, yeah. It's almost like an introverts. Well, is it an introvert's nightmare or is it introvert's dream?

[B]

I think pickleball and these social. I think pickleball and these social sports are an introvert's dream because the sport itself is the icebreaker. You don't have to make as much small talk. And then if you're socializing afterwards, the bar is. Is really low for that to happen.

[A]

Right. You don't have to worry about asking someone what the weather is like when you're hitting a drop shot in the kitchen.

[B]

That's right.

[A]

Did I use that right?

[B]

I think so.

[A]

All right, guys, let us know about your social sports experience. Always remember, be good to yourself. Be good to your friends. Love you, buddy. Buddy.

[C]

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[B]

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[C]

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