#149 - Poker Nights

Summary

Man of the Year – Champions of Friendship

Episode #149: Poker Nights

Aired September 16, 2025

Hosts: Matt Ritter & Aaron Karo

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Episode Overview

In this lively episode, Matt and Aaron dive deep into the ins and outs of "Poker Nights" as a staple for friendship among men, especially dads. The conversation explores the logistics, pitfalls, and rewarding aspects of hosting and participating in poker and game nights, with plenty of humor, personal anecdotes, and practical advice. The hosts also answer a listener's dilemma about a poker night that's losing its friendly vibe. The tone is candid, irreverent, and relatable—perfect for anyone interested in nurturing adult friendships.

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Key Discussion Points & Insights

1. The “Truly Tasteless” Joke Book Poker Night

• Matt's Poker Night Recap:
  • Matt describes hosting a poker night inspired by the “Truly Tasteless Joke Book” (02:57), highlighting the boundaries of “acceptable” tasteless humor and the wild card when someone goes fully “off book” (03:25).
  • Matt: “Somebody went off script and just went, I’m just gonna tell my own joke... I’m glad we weren’t recording that.” [03:18]
• Setting the Scene:
  • The event was a gathering of dads (with one non-dad), focused less on hardcore gambling and more on camaraderie: “Nine dads and Dana.” [06:46]
  • Taco Bell was a late-night staple: “It was like six burritos wrapped inside another burrito.” (06:09)

2. Planning and Logistics of Poker Night

• First-Time Struggles:
  • Matt admits to being a rookie at organizing, fumbling with chips and the buy-in, and texting friends for guidance: “I know this is obviously not that hard, but it was like, oh, I had to figure all that stuff out.” [07:21]
  • Opted for a $40 buy-in with a rebuy option, keeping the stakes reasonable.
• Dealer Dilemma:
  • Debate over hiring a professional (and possibly topless) dealer: “She offered up topless for double.” [09:05]
  • Rejected the idea—“It’s gross and distracting... I’ll pay you extra to keep your top on.” [09:48]
  • Settled on keeping things in the group and “letting loose a little bit.” [10:03]

3. Poker as a Social Vehicle

• Inclusivity and Vibes:
  • Aaron notes he wasn’t invited because he doesn’t enjoy or know how to play—“I would never. Thank you, Dan. And thank you, Matt.” [06:59]
  • Matt explains the event wasn’t about poker prowess but giving dads space to relax: “Everybody there needed that [night to let loose].” [10:21]
• Skill vs. Socializing:
  • In any group, there are serious players and those just there for fun, which sometimes causes tension:
    • “The guys who play regularly got really annoyed... half of us just want to schmooze and hang out.” [10:39]
  • Matt set expectations early: “Nobody’s that good... this is gonna be low stakes.” [11:02]

4. Tangents and Traditions: Cigar and Bourbon Culture

• Cigars:
  • Hosts riff on the ritual of cigar smoking at poker nights and its questionable appeal:
    • “Can we just admit that it’s gross?” — Aaron [11:59]
    • “I can’t fathom ever getting into it, but a lot of guys are into it.” — Matt [12:05]
  • Matt shares practical advice: “I don’t like cigars because I don’t like imposing externalities on others.” [13:11]
• Drinks:
  • The evening featured quality bourbon (Hibiki, Angels Envy, Michters), served with large ice cubes: “Only had eight... didn’t have enough for everybody.” [14:54]

5. Depth vs. Fun: What Should a Game Night Be?

• Serious Sharing vs. Blowing Off Steam:
  • Matt reflects on resisting his usual urge for a “circle of trust” or deep conversation:
    • “Sometimes you just need fun... as adults, we’re not blowing off enough steam. Am I wrong?” [16:24–16:46]
  • The night focused on casual enjoyment, validating the need for pure relaxation among friends—especially dads.

6. Listener Mail: Saving a Fractured Poker Night

Question: A listener writes in because their poker night has become too competitive, with tension and arguments overshadowing friendship.

• Hosts’ Advice:
  • Communication is key; set group expectations about stakes and seriousness.
  • Matt: “It’s hard if everybody’s not aligned on what it is.” [25:51]
  • Aaron: “It falls on the host to do a little bit of curation.” [28:07]
  • Possible solutions: Reset the vibe, consider a different game, split into separate groups ("serious" and "casual"), or have some rounds light, some rounds serious.
  • “People shouldn’t be coming to blows at your freaking poker night... or any night.” — Aaron [31:56]

7. Game Night Alternatives

• Other Games Ranked:
  • The hosts debate the merits of Monopoly, Trivial Pursuit, Pictionary, and Scrabble.
  • Final rankings:
    • Aaron: “Trivial Pursuit, Pictionary, Scrabble, Monopoly.” [34:12]
    • Matt: “Pictionary, Scrabble, Trivial Pursuit, Monopoly.” [34:18]

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Notable Quotes and Memorable Moments

• On Tasteless Jokes:
  • "For some reason, they were always crapping on Helen Keller. NASA had its own section. The Challenger had just happened." — Matt [03:35]
• On Poker Night Food Choices:
  • "It was like six burritos wrapped inside another burrito. And I had the whole thing." — Matt [06:09]
• On Host Boundaries:
  • "I made everybody stay outside. I didn’t give them access to the house... With my little kids, yeah. So that was my rule." — Matt [20:56]
• On Group Dynamics:
  • "That's the nature of groups, isn't it? ... You're just not going to have equal enthusiasm for everything you're doing together." — Matt [27:14]
• On Resisting Forced Depth:
  • “I did a really good check in of, like, what’s happening here. And what I noticed was just people really enjoying themselves. And I was like, just let that ride.” — Matt [15:43]
• On Game Night Reset:
  • “You just got to communicate with the guys. No fighting at poker night. Come on, guys.” — Aaron [33:11]
• On Blowing Off Steam:
  • “As adults, we're not blowing off enough steam. Am I wrong?” — Matt [16:33]
• On Adult Friendships:
  • “I think you need a little bit of a reset... people shouldn't be coming to blows at your freaking poker night.” — Aaron [31:56]

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Timestamps for Important Segments

• 02:57 – Poker night setup & "Truly Tasteless" joke book story
• 06:09 – Taco Bell confession & poker food traditions
• 09:05 – The topless dealer discussion (and why they said no)
• 10:39 – Group divides: Serious players vs. hangers-on
• 11:02 – Setting expectations for casual poker night
• 15:19 – Did the group have “deep” moments or just fun?
• 16:33 – “We’re not blowing off enough steam” discussion
• 20:56 – Enforcing house rules and keeping kids safe
• 24:22 – Listener asks for help saving a fractured poker night
• 25:51 – Group alignment issues and restoring friendship-first culture
• 28:39 – Alternative games: Parcheesi, backgammon, and more
• 34:12 – Debating and ranking classic board games
• 35:10 – How often poker night will happen in future

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Summary

This episode of Man of the Year is a comedic and honest reflection on what makes game nights—especially poker—for grown-up friendships so rewarding, challenging, and sometimes messy. Matt shares a behind-the-scenes look at organizing his first “dad poker night,” complete with late-night Taco Bell, hesitation over hiring a professional dealer, bourbon, and the challenges of balancing competitive and casual attitudes.

The hosts emphasize the importance of communication and “setting the tone” to ensure the night remains about relaxing and forging (and maintaining) friendships—not about who takes home the most chips. They remind listeners not to force depth where it doesn’t fit; sometimes, just having “fun for fun’s sake” is essential for adults who have limited time away from family and work obligations.

For those facing similar group challenges, Matt and Aaron offer actionable strategies: clarify expectations, reset as needed, don’t be afraid to switch up the game, and always prioritize the spirit of togetherness. This blend of warmth, humor, and practical insight makes the episode both entertaining and genuinely useful for anyone invested in adult friendships.

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To share your own poker/game night stories or friendship dilemmas, reach out to Man of the Year on Instagram or at manoftheyearpodcast.com.

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“Be good to yourself. Be good to your friends. Love you, buddy.” — Man of the Year sign-off [35:36]

Transcript

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[Matt Ritter]

Foreign welcome to the number one friendship podcast in the country. I'm Matt Ritter.

[Aaron Caro]

I'm Aaron Caro.

[Matt Ritter]

Guys, go to manoftheirpodcast.com, check out our merch. Buy a hat, Buy a T shirt. Buy a onesie, buy a hoodie. Go to YouTube. See our smiling faces. Caro, you know that I did the truly tasteless documentary about dirty jokes.

[Aaron Caro]

Yes. It was about cancel culture, too.

[Matt Ritter]

Yeah. So we had a. We had a poker night last night, and I. I was like, oh, you know, this will be fun. We'll have everybody, you know, read crude jokes from the book. Some. Somebody went off, off script and just went, I'm just gonna go tell my own joke. Off, off book, off book. And let's just say I'm glad we weren't recording that.

[Aaron Caro]

Were they original tasteless jokes?

[Matt Ritter]

His was. I don't know where he got it from.

[Aaron Caro]

You want to explain what the truly tasteless books even are?

[Matt Ritter]

Yeah, it was this series of dirty jokes. Big bestselling books in. In the 80s that would totally get you canceled because it was categorized like Jews, gays, blacks. Helen Keller had her own category. For some reason, they were always crapping on Helen Keller. NASA had its own section. The Challenger had just happened.

[Aaron Caro]

Oh, Jesus.

[Matt Ritter]

Yeah, it's just all about dead astronauts. Yeah. Anyway, I just thought it was. It was one of those moments where, like, you know, you never want to be that guy.

[Aaron Caro]

Yeah. Oh, my. Going off book on. On a tasteless jokeathon.

[Matt Ritter]

Yeah, yeah. Where it was like, we gave you permission to go here. To go, you know, like, permission to go. Like, it's just a bunch of dads. We're giving you permission to. To bring it right below the line.

[Aaron Caro]

It's like he's got his own cards against humanity deck.

[Matt Ritter]

Yeah. Yeah. He's like, no, I wrote my own, guys. Trust me. It was amazing. Anyway, but it was just a. A lead in to. We have never talked as a full episode about poker nights or game nights for a group of friends and the benefits, the pitfalls, just all of it and how much. Like, I just have to say I'm feeling rejuvenated. Oh.

[Aaron Caro]

From your front, it's interesting because for those watching us on YouTube, Matt is wearing both glasses and a baseball cap. And wearing usually means he's been drank drug through a hedge backwards and is hungover or sick or something.

[Matt Ritter]

I mean, he looks like Taco Bell. No, the guys didn't believe me. I said, this is the first time I've had Taco Bell in eight years.

[Aaron Caro]

I believe that. But. But I'm sorry. You. You were at the poconite, then you went to Taco Bell?

[Matt Ritter]

No, they had me order it to the house.

[Aaron Caro]

That's so. For, like, dinner. Like, because you were waste. Guys are wasting.

[Matt Ritter]

11 o'. Clock. 11 o'.

[Aaron Caro]

Clock. Wow, that's. That's dark.

[Matt Ritter]

Yeah, I ordered, like, a giant bag of. They have, like, these party mix bags. I don't even know what. I don't even know what. I ate a thing. I don't even know because I haven't had Taco Bell in eight years. And they didn't have. Maybe they had labels on it, but it was pretty dark. I had a thing that was, like, shaped like a burrito, but a pizza shape. Like a Mexican. No, no, it was inside a burrito shell, dude.

[Aaron Caro]

They have, you know in the end of the movie fly when he, like, becomes part of the container.

[Matt Ritter]

Yeah, yeah.

[Aaron Caro]

Like, that's what they're doing at Taco Bell now. They're just, like, making. And the burrito's like, kill me, you know?

[Matt Ritter]

It was like six burritos wrapped inside another burrito. And I had the whole thing.

[Aaron Caro]

I bet it was incredible.

[Matt Ritter]

Oh, it was so good. And I woke up this morning and like, so many rappers. I didn't clean up, Jesse.

[Aaron Caro]

Oh, it was. I was at your place.

[Matt Ritter]

I was at my place.

[Aaron Caro]

Oh, left the rappers out. Come on, man.

[Matt Ritter]

No, in the kitchen. I brought him in the house, but I brought them, like, in just bags, not like wrappers. Like, I didn't throw it all out yet. We were outside. Well, yes, it was. It was nine dads and Dana. Dude.

[Aaron Caro]

I like how I didn't get invited because, you know, I don't like poker nor how to play it, which we'll talk about.

[Matt Ritter]

Well, we didn't invite any non dads. And then one of the dads was like, I'm with Dan. Can he come? And I was like, yeah, to do come. And then he goes, how come you didn't invite car? I go, cara would never want to come to this.

[Aaron Caro]

I would. I would never. Thank you. Thank you, Dan. And thank you, Matt.

[Matt Ritter]

Yeah, because you're.

[Aaron Caro]

You're both right. Yeah, we should just. I don't want to shout. D. Friend of the show, Dana Dud. But he does really always pop up places.

[Matt Ritter]

Yeah, no, it was a great pop in. It was a very, like.

[Aaron Caro]

Yeah, he's a good. Like, he's a good hang.

[Matt Ritter]

Yeah, he's a good. He's a good hang. I don't. I don't think anyone. Oh, so, okay, so here's this was a great question for you. So I'm planning it. You know, I wanted to go well as our first DILFs of largemont poker night. And I got the chips. Like, the poker chips. There's a lot to it. I texted one of our buddies, Brad, because I know he plays like cards. I'm like, what do we do? I don't even know, like, what do I play? What are the stakes? Like, there's a lot. No, I hadn't done this in decades. And they were like, yeah, clearly you don't know what you're doing. You like, the chips were in the plastic rat. I hadn't unwrapped them. And then I was like, how? What's the math? Like, what do we do? Like, would you even know how to like get it going? Like, I was like, okay, so we decided on $40 buy in and you could rebuy at 40. But then all the chip. Look, we had to figure out what chips were. A dollar, what chips were. I mean, I know this is obviously not that hard, but it was like, oh, there are like, oh, I had to figure all that stuff out.

[Aaron Caro]

But it's not like just opening up a thing of Trivial Pursuit. You got to actually like do it. So, yeah, like figure out.

[Matt Ritter]

So yeah, now you go. And then I was like, should I hire a dealer? And so then I got like, how.

[Aaron Caro]

Can I spend too much money?

[Matt Ritter]

Well then I got down the rabbit hole. Then I'm like, well, I'm gonna hire a dealer. She should be like, you know, 25 year old, you know, nanny or something. I don't know, you know, so. So I was like, should I be doing this? You know, I texted a couple guys, like, I could kill the vibe, you know, like, should you have it? You know, and then we found somebody and she was like, I'll do it. And you know, but it's like it was expensive.

[Aaron Caro]

Like where you have to wear a bikini.

[Matt Ritter]

No, she offered up topless for double.

[Aaron Caro]

Shut up. Shut your mouth.

[Matt Ritter]

Shut up. What?

[Aaron Caro]

She offered it what?

[Matt Ritter]

I don't know if it was a joke.

[Aaron Caro]

I'm like, no, it was on Ass Rabbit.

[Matt Ritter]

What was like listed on My wife and toddler are upstairs. I don't know if that's a good idea. I mean, I told Jesse. I was like, should we? Are you. You know, I was like, we may have this girl. She may or may not be topless. What do you think? She's just like, you guys are so stupid. You guys are so stupid.

[Aaron Caro]

I mean, this is going to sound even dumber But I actually think that, like, that's not like, that's, that's like that, that is, we. That's not as fun a topless woman.

[Matt Ritter]

Like, by the way, that's what I was like, that's gross. Yeah, it's gross and distracting. No, I'll pay you extra to keep your top on.

[Aaron Caro]

Oh, God, we're gonna get complaints. Yeah.

[Matt Ritter]

Well, anyway, no, but it was kind of just like a funny, joking dad's thing. We ended up not doing it, which I think was the right call. Like, you don't want somebody not a part of your group there especially. We're like, just, you know, the point of it was like, let's let loose a little bit. Which I was gonna say is that was a great benefit, I think, you know, for a lot of us dads of kids of varying age. Like, I realized we all needed it. Everybody there needed that. And.

[Aaron Caro]

What was the level of, of, of, of, of proficiency of poker?

[Matt Ritter]

Well, that was funny. The guys who, like, play regularly got really annoyed, you know, by like, the half of us were just like, I just want to schmooze and hang out and like, oh, it's my turn. You know, like, some people get really annoyed, but, oh, it's my turn, you know? Right. Yeah.

[Aaron Caro]

Do you feel like you needed to set the tone, model it ahead of time, Be like, it's gonna be casual?

[Matt Ritter]

Yeah. On the text chain, I was like, look, nobody's that good. This is gonna be a low stakes. We'll do 40 bucks. You can buy in once for 40. I think we had, like, two people buy in twice, so nobody lost more than, like, 120 bucks, which I think was the right tone. Somebody asked for cigars, I'm like, no, I have a toddler and an infant upstairs. Let me know. Cigars smoked in my property.

[Aaron Caro]

Are you, do you like cigars?

[Matt Ritter]

No. Do you?

[Aaron Caro]

Last cigar I smoke was with Andy Garcia.

[Matt Ritter]

Oh, right. Yeah, yeah, yeah. You're such a fraud. You were like, oh, yeah, I smoke all the time. And then you went into the bathroom and coughed up a lung, and you came back out. There's another one for Andy. Oh, God.

[Aaron Caro]

These are, these are real Cuban cigars with a real Cuban. And, man, I, I, I smoked a whole cigar. I mean, he tells the most amazing stories, but I'm like, I'm going to die.

[Matt Ritter]

You're not supposed to inhale.

[Aaron Caro]

I wasn't inhaling, but it's just like, it's, it's just like, can we just admit that it's gross?

[Matt Ritter]

I Mean, it's. I. I can't fathom ever getting into it, but a lot of. A lot of guys are into it.

[Aaron Caro]

Is. Is a cigar just another kind of thing to like, hang out and just like. I don't know, you know?

[Matt Ritter]

Right. Like, is it just a mechanism?

[Aaron Caro]

Yes. A vehicle.

[Matt Ritter]

Yeah, I know. I think. I think people who like cigars really. I know a few people that really enjoy cigars, they're not faking it.

[Aaron Caro]

Can you imagine, like their wives kissing them after that?

[Matt Ritter]

It's potent. I had a guy. Where was I? I was with Brenner and somebody was smoking a cigar next door. And like, I forget exactly where it was. A coffee shop or something. And then he came back in to apologize. He was like, sorry, I didn't realize the scar. Smoke went in there, which was nice. But it's also like. Do you not understand the. What is it called, the radius of a cigar? Cigar radius is astronomical. I don't like cigars because I don't like, like, imposing externalities on others.

[Aaron Caro]

Well, unless they're your kids running around at 5:30 at a pizza shop.

[Matt Ritter]

It's our pizza shop for kids. I love the kid roast. Like, that guy was right. You guys are. No, but I do your life, I think, like, in general, like, overall, like, you should, you know, be conscious of how many people you're affecting with your one thing that you want to do.

[Aaron Caro]

I don't know if it's still there, like next to the. The improv. Isn't there like a. Like a cigar.

[Matt Ritter]

Big cigar shop. Yeah.

[Aaron Caro]

But also a smoke lounge.

[Matt Ritter]

Yeah, it's a lounge. Yeah. Right. I mean, that's where you're supposed to be with your cigars. Inside that, you know, like, it's like the cdc, you know, like inside there. You should have to go through that like, device that delouses you. Right. The big delousing. That's what you should have to do before you go home.

[Aaron Caro]

So were you guys drinking in this poker night?

[Matt Ritter]

Oh, bourbon. A lot of bourbon. Hibiki Angels, Envy and Michters.

[Aaron Caro]

And just neat.

[Matt Ritter]

Now on the rock, on the big. Oh, I got these. The big squares. I had those frozen so you can.

[Aaron Caro]

Get ice if you. If you put your mind to it.

[Matt Ritter]

I have. I have a lot of ice in the. There's never enough ice for parties.

[Aaron Caro]

Yeah, yeah.

[Matt Ritter]

I mean, that's the thing. The amount of ice you have in your house when you throw a party for, you know, 60 people, it's never going to be enough.

[Aaron Caro]

Yeah, but also, how many of those big Ice cubes could you possibly have had at once?

[Matt Ritter]

Only had eight.

[Aaron Caro]

So you didn't even have enough for all the people?

[Matt Ritter]

Didn't have enough for everybody.

[Aaron Caro]

Some people got one drink each.

[Matt Ritter]

Well, they stay for a while.

[Aaron Caro]

Oh, okay.

[Matt Ritter]

Okay. They basically stayed the whole, whole night.

[Aaron Caro]

Okay. So you had the boys over. You had one non dad. You've. You've got your cards, you've got your poker chips. Did you. Did you guys get deep? Was it more serious?

[Matt Ritter]

I was going to say this. You know how it's like, oh, you know, our goal is to get. Sometimes you just need fun. Yeah, I just realized that, like. Oh, you know, but we, we did get, like, we did get a, like, you know, every now and then. We didn't have like a circle of trust thing where everybody went around and shared something. We didn't do that.

[Aaron Caro]

You love that.

[Matt Ritter]

And I thought about one thing.

[Aaron Caro]

You're scared of.

[Matt Ritter]

No, I thought about doing that, but it wasn't right for that. They don't all know each other that well. It could, you know, we could have done it, but it just, it felt like everybody was having such a good time. I did a really good check in of, like, what's happening here. And what I noticed was just people really enjoying themselves. And I was like, just let that ride. There's always room for more. Let's, you know, let's go around and, you know, be thankful for something or tell me about your. Something about your kid. Because everybody was talking about their kids and stuff, you know, know their, and their families and, you know, things come up throughout the night. But I, I deliberately held back from what I normally would like to do, which is like, infuse some of that.

[Aaron Caro]

Well, to be fair, you get a little bit of wiggle room because you've all. You already do that with your friends on a regular basis. So you're allowed to just blow off some steam.

[Matt Ritter]

Superficially, yeah. Blowing off steam. That's what this was. That's what this night was about. And I just feel as adults, we're not blowing off enough steam. Am I wrong?

[Aaron Caro]

I mean, I blow off quite a bit of steam.

[Matt Ritter]

But you don't, you don't have. You don't have the little ones running around.

[Aaron Caro]

Yeah, I'm.

[Matt Ritter]

I'm a.

[Aaron Caro]

Thomas the Tank Engine.

[Matt Ritter]

Thomas the.

[Aaron Caro]

On the end of back. You mean.

[Matt Ritter]

You mean Thomas the Train?

[Aaron Caro]

Thomas. Thomas the Tank Engine.

[Matt Ritter]

Thomas the Train.

[Aaron Caro]

No, he's called Thomas the Tank Engine.

[Matt Ritter]

I don't know, man. I mean.

[Aaron Caro]

Yeah, it's literally called Thomas the Tank Engine. How do I know about a children's book? And you know.

[Matt Ritter]

Oh, so there's two different ones. There's Thomas the Train, which is what I. Oh, he's a tank engine.

[Aaron Caro]

It's. He's literally called Thomas the. The Tank Engine. There is no Thomas the Train. Oh, Matt, you're insane.

[Matt Ritter]

I'm having like a very Berenstein Bears.

[Aaron Caro]

Moment where it doesn't exist.

[Matt Ritter]

I didn't know he was Thomas the Tank Engine. I thought it was called Thomas the Train.

[Aaron Caro]

You thought he was called Thomas the Train? That's the weirdest thing you've ever admitted to me.

[Matt Ritter]

Yeah, he's a tr. I mean, he's a train.

[Aaron Caro]

You probably had off brand books knowing.

[Matt Ritter]

Your mom when you were growing up. Yeah, Yeah. I had Steven the. The boss.

[Aaron Caro]

Thomas the Train. You go, no, no, it's Thomas the Train. Thomas the Train.

[Matt Ritter]

Yeah. Wow.

[Aaron Caro]

He's famously a tank engine.

[Matt Ritter]

You know that I watch this frequently.

[Aaron Caro]

It's been out since 1945.

[Matt Ritter]

46. Yeah. Wow. I just thought he was Thomas the Train.

[Aaron Caro]

Oh my God. I cannot believe I'm learning more things about you after 40, 30 years.

[Matt Ritter]

Thomas the Tankage. Mind blown. Anyway, so Kira blows off a lot of Steve. No, look, I just think, you know, like, it's just sometimes it's hard to. To find time or make time. And so I'm really glad that we. That we did it. I'm actually, as I said, I'm glad that I went against my instinct to kind of go, you know, mandated deepness. One of the guys suggested a dress code that got shot down. Robust immediately, but like what suits. Yeah, no, yeah, no, no.

[Aaron Caro]

I mean, I like the idea. I like the vibe.

[Matt Ritter]

But yeah, we were like. For a formal. For a formal dinner. That's great. Somebody brought their. Their started a bread company. Oh, this is great. It's called Hala at your goy. He's a non Jewish guy who started what?

[Aaron Caro]

Yeah, really brilliant.

[Matt Ritter]

Delicious. Shout out. Shout out. His name is Jon Snow. You love this. Shout out. John Snow.

[Aaron Caro]

Is. Is it out yet?

[Matt Ritter]

Yeah.

[Aaron Caro]

At your goy. It doesn't come up.

[Matt Ritter]

Yeah, I think they just launched this week or something.

[Aaron Caro]

Okay. I mean, honestly, that sounds like a kerouism where he came up with the name first and then just.

[Matt Ritter]

Oh, definitely. He was like, what do we do now? We have to make bread, I guess. Yeah. And you know, the other thing that I think was, you know, it's good too because, you know, it's like an activity that's constant, you know, so like there was there Isn't a need to. For there ever to. Like, there was never an awkward moment. Right. Because anytime you. You just be like, all right, I'm focusing on my cards for a minute.

[Aaron Caro]

You know, did you do set seating?

[Matt Ritter]

No. Well, yes, once you sat down, that was your seat, because I didn't assign anything. But when she sat down, it was. It was good. Everybody kind of sat next to, like, kind of rando people. Like, they're not best friends, which was nice. And then we had a dad who couldn't make it. This was a really nice thing, actually. He had dinner plans and the plan got pushed back by an hour. And he lives five blocks away, so he just came by for the first hour.

[Aaron Caro]

Great.

[Matt Ritter]

Yeah. He was like, you know, I could just sat home, but like, come on. And then he cleaned us out and left. What's the rule on that? You know, the guy who lives early and then.

[Aaron Caro]

And then leaves, you know, does he tip. Does he tip the dealers? Anybody tip you for hosting?

[Matt Ritter]

Yeah, they should have been tipped. No. And. But they were very grateful for me for hosting. I made everybody stay outside. I didn't give them access. The first time I've ever actually done that. I didn't. They didn't give him access to the house.

[Aaron Caro]

Oh, interesting. So they had to go on, like, the back. The back unit. Bathroom.

[Matt Ritter]

Yep.

[Aaron Caro]

I think that's the way to do it. Keep your. Keep these miscreants out.

[Matt Ritter]

Yeah, keep the miscreants out. With my little kids. Yeah. So that was my rule. Should we take a listener question?

[Aaron Caro]

We'll be right back.

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[Aaron Caro]

Okay guys, this is asking for a friend. If you have a friendship question or ethical dilemma, send it to us on Instagram man of the Year podcast and we will answer it on the show. Matt, take it away.

[Matt Ritter]

So sorry, dear man Aaron, I need your help. Our poker nights falling apart. We started during COVID as a way to stay connected. Low stakes, fun, great excuse to hang. But now half the guys treat it like the World Series of Poker. The other half barely care. Two guys almost came to blows last week over a pot. Used to be about friendship. Now it's either tense or awkward. Can I save this or should I just. Is it time to move on?

[Aaron Caro]

Well, it's interesting because at the beginning, Matt, you were saying how like we were Gonna talk about poker nights and game nights. And that just made me think that, like, you know, even if you're playing a game, Trivial Pursuit, Scrabble, whatever. Like, some people are way more competitive. Like, I get too into it. I sometimes kind of like, I don't know if I really want to play because then I get sucked into it. Now you're talking about money is being at stake. That. That is a sticky wicket, you know, Unless they're not paying for money for some reason.

[Matt Ritter]

No. There. It sounds like they're playing for money.

[Aaron Caro]

Yeah. I love how you're like, oh, the two people don't really care anymore. But they came to blows.

[Matt Ritter]

Well, I think it was probably the other people came to blows that care too much.

[Aaron Caro]

Right. I mean, this is a classic case of communication. Like, if. If you know, this is a low stakes thing in a good way. Like, hey, guys, like, I appreciate that you guys are super into this, but, like, I'm not. I. I don't know. I don't know. Is that. Is that too shooting up from the hip?

[Matt Ritter]

Well, you know, I only had one poker night, and I definitely had a few guys that were, like, very into it and were kind of annoyed that the rest of us weren't. But I think it's hard if everybody's not aligned on what it is.

[Aaron Caro]

Yeah. To me, let's say you had another poker night, and I don't know who these guys, who your two buddies are, but, like, to me, that's a quick side chat convo, like, pump for poker night. You, like, you guys are way better than us, just the three of you. On the text. Just want to make sure you're okay with this being a little bit more casual, because I don't want you guys to feel annoyed.

[Matt Ritter]

I just sent, like, a quasi apology text to one of the guys, like, sorry, we didn't really play as many hands. Like, it's totally fine, dude. So I think sometimes people just want to, like, bitch about it a little bit. Yeah, yeah. And then, like, they're fine with it, which is great, you know, if that's what it is. Right. For our listener, it's like, if some people want to just take. If they already know what it is. Here's the thing, right? Like. Like what you're talking about. If everybody knows what it is. You just have a mix of personalities. It sounds like, you know, you've got your competitive, you got your overly competitive. It's almost like fantasy football. There's always somebody who's way into it, and there's Always a couple people who are barely paying attention. That's the nature of groups, isn't it?

[Aaron Caro]

But fantasy football is not. You're not physically together.

[Matt Ritter]

No, but isn't that the nature of groups? Like, anytime you have more than four, you know, of your buddies together, you just are not going to have equipment. Equal enthusiasm for everything you're doing together.

[Aaron Caro]

I mean, goes back to a group project in. In high school or middle school where half the people don't give a.

[Matt Ritter]

Right. So part of it is like, well, if you're doing the poker night, what's in it for you? Are you getting what you want out of it? If there's. If it's too much drama, like, you know, people are coming to blows, like, all right, maybe you got to set some ground rules if you're the one hosting it. Like, look, we're getting a little too heated here. We got to tone it down. Let's. Let's, you know, and, like, tell that to the group. Like, hey, we're getting a little too heated. It's getting a little out of control. This is supposed to look like a reminder. Like, guys, this is supposed to be a fun thing that gets us out of the house.

[Aaron Caro]

I think that it falls on the host to do a little bit of curation right now. This has been going on for a few years since COVID So it's. The people are there, and it is what it is. Like, maybe it needs a little bit of a reset. Maybe you change the game. Maybe it becomes Parcheesi. I don't know. Is that a game?

[Matt Ritter]

Parcheesi. Hey, guys, we're playing Parcheesi F you.

[Aaron Caro]

You know, like, I feel like I've been on both ends of the spectrum, like, super annoyed that people aren't taking seriously and also, like, not caring. I don't know. I just feel like it's a conversation to be had. Like, what kind of poker night do we want?

[Matt Ritter]

Yeah, so.

[Aaron Caro]

Because I don't think. I don't think you're ever going to get people who don't care to care.

[Matt Ritter]

I agree. I agree with that.

[Aaron Caro]

So it's more about getting the people who care a lot to say, hey, this isn't that kind of night, and we're gonna. It's gonna be casual, or we play a couple rounds where we're all really paying attention and a couple where we're not.

[Matt Ritter]

There's a lot of ways you can handle it, right? You could retire it. You could split it off. Right? It's like, okay, we're doing the serious Poker night. Or it's like, hey, you know, we're just doing it. Keep. We're gonna keep. We're gonna. It's gonna be super cash maybe, you know, like, if you guys want to start another game that's more serious, I'm okay with that.

[Aaron Caro]

Are you. Are you good at poker?

[Matt Ritter]

Nah. Okay. Are you?

[Aaron Caro]

I don't even know how to play.

[Matt Ritter]

No.

[Aaron Caro]

General. Two of a kind, whatever.

[Matt Ritter]

But it's also hard because, you know, when they're. When you have a mix of people, skill levels, they're not like all playing the right way. So you just. It's almost like people are going to stay in for things they shouldn't stay in for. You know, when you're like at the blackjack table and somebody's hitting on 17, you know, and it's like, all right, well, now you're kind of messing up the hand for everybody. You know, poker's a little bit of the same way of like, if somebody's so much of an amateur that they're going in when they shouldn't be in, then it's hard to like, gamble effectively.

[Aaron Caro]

Right. Never. I just have no. No desire. No desire. But I'm missing. Yeah, I don't play poker. I don't play golf.

[Matt Ritter]

Yeah, and yet you still have a lot of friends.

[Aaron Caro]

I mean, I feel like I. This, this segment is just begging to like somehow get into Magic the Gathering or Dungeons and Dragons.

[Matt Ritter]

Well, one of the Magic the Gathering guys was there. He was good at poker. Maybe it's because it's a cross pollinated skill set. I don't know.

[Aaron Caro]

Oh, interesting. Was he like Expeller anus or whatever they. It is. I really. We should, we should go to. We've been in the magic.

[Matt Ritter]

Yeah, no, I want to ask him if it carried over. I have to ask him that. I have to ask him. My buddy Evan, I gotta ask him if it carried over, if that's why he was so good.

[Aaron Caro]

Yeah, I mean, he. Yeah, he's good at spells and like, I don't know.

[Matt Ritter]

He cast a spell on us. Yeah, he cast a spell on that card table.

[Aaron Caro]

The magic. The Gatherers have beef with Dungeon and Dragon Masters.

[Matt Ritter]

Sure they do. Sure they do.

[Aaron Caro]

Is that a different segment of the population?

[Matt Ritter]

I think there's like a. Some sort of overlap, but it's not.

[Aaron Caro]

Is it like Sunni and Shia?

[Matt Ritter]

No, it's not that. It's not. Not like, oh, we have to kill these people. I think it's just like a slight overlap. The Parcheesi and backgammon.

[Aaron Caro]

Back, Adam. Backgammon.

[Matt Ritter]

Wait. So. So back to the listener question. Like, what should you do? Right. I liked your suggestion of, like, I think you need a little bit of a reset.

[Aaron Caro]

Yeah. People shouldn't be coming to blows at your freaking poker night.

[Matt Ritter]

Yeah.

[Aaron Caro]

Or any night.

[Matt Ritter]

You know, we had a guy with our basketball league say that he thought it was getting a little too aggressive, and he said it to the group, like, I respect that.

[Aaron Caro]

Yeah.

[Matt Ritter]

And some people, like, yeah, yeah. Too many people got injured. Right.

[Aaron Caro]

But was he being like, was this. Was this. What was the context? Like, the game was over or after.

[Matt Ritter]

After another injury, but, like, in the.

[Aaron Caro]

Context of, like, we need. We need to change or just. I'm, like, making a comment here.

[Matt Ritter]

No, he was like, I think we need to, like, stop fouling each other so hard when we go down the paint. Like, you're not like New York knicks from the 90s, the Detroit Bad Boys down the lane. Yeah. Maybe he was right. Maybe there's some truth to that. You know? I don't know. You know, but it was like. Okay. I respect him for saying that. You know, if you feel like that's. Yeah. You feel like it's getting out of hand. Right. It's like, same thing with this poker game. Like, if you feel like it's getting into a weird place, say something.

[Aaron Caro]

Yeah. Isn't basketball the. The number one cause of injuries of men over 40 or something like that?

[Matt Ritter]

Gotta be. Well, it's got to be replaced by pickle now, but I'm sure it was.

[Aaron Caro]

I think we.

[Matt Ritter]

No, but I don't think you should retire it yet until you. No tries. No, no, no, no.

[Aaron Caro]

Do not retire it. Try to fix it. Talk to the people offline. Do a little reset, perhaps do a couple serious hands. You know, the first hour is serious, and then. And then you hang out, but you just got to communicate with the guys. No fighting at poker night. Come on, guys.

[Matt Ritter]

Yeah, it's absurd.

[Aaron Caro]

All right, guys, that was asking for a friend. If you have a friendship question, send it to us on Instagram. So, Matt, wrapping up. Any other. Like, have you ever done a game night, like a Scrabble, Trivial Pursuit?

[Matt Ritter]

Not. Not here at the house. Somebody just bought us Monopoly. I was like, man, I want to play Monopoly.

[Aaron Caro]

Oh, I feel like Monopoly is the least fun of them all.

[Matt Ritter]

Versus what? Okay, so you got Trivial Pursuit, Monopoly, Scrabble. What's the fourth? Pictionary? Okay, rank these four. You know what? Rank these. Order one to four. Most. Most fun is one. Monopoly, Trivial Pursuit, Pictionary, Scrabble I'd say.

[Aaron Caro]

Trivial Pursuit, Pictionary, Scrabble, Monopoly.

[Matt Ritter]

I would say Pictionary, Scrabble, Trivial Pursuit, Monopoly.

[Aaron Caro]

Well, also because I'm probably the best at Trivial Pursuit.

[Matt Ritter]

Do they update it, though? Isn't it like. Do you know the 2025 stuff I played?

[Aaron Caro]

Well, that stuff. It's actually the other way around. Like, I played, I don't know, a year ago, their friend Shannon, Katrina, and it was like the Millennium Edition. And it was like, just random stuff from 2001 that, like, in hindsight is not that important.

[Matt Ritter]

Right?

[Aaron Caro]

You know, this French, you know, whatever.

[Matt Ritter]

Like, no, I want to buy the 2025 edition. I want to see what's in there.

[Aaron Caro]

Do they do that?

[Matt Ritter]

I don't know.

[Aaron Caro]

I don't. I think you need a little time for the trivia to set in.

[Matt Ritter]

Yeah.

[Aaron Caro]

All right. Well, I. It sounds like fun. I'm glad I wasn't invited. Is there gonna be another one?

[Matt Ritter]

Yeah, but it'll be quarterly at most. And it won't always be at my house. Too much to clean up.

[Aaron Caro]

Too. Too much for Jess to clean up.

[Matt Ritter]

I cleaned it all up. She won't clean it up. Yeah.

[Aaron Caro]

I mean. Oh, man. All right, guys, can we hear about your poker nights, your game nights? Are you a Dungeon Master or Magic the Gatherer? We'd love to hear. Thank you guys so much for listening. Always remember, be good to yourself. Be good to your friends. Love you, buddy.

[Matt Ritter]

Love you, buddy.

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[Matt Ritter]

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[Matt Ritter]

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[Aaron Caro]

Is that guy with the binoculars watching us?

[Matt Ritter]

Cut the camera. They see us.

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[Matt Ritter]

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