#180 - TCS - Text Call See

Summary

Man of the Year – Champions of Friendship

Episode 180: TCS – Text Call See

Date: April 14, 2026
Hosts: Matt Ritter & Aaron Karo

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Episode Overview

This episode returns to one of the podcast’s most popular and practical friendship systems: TCS—Text, Call, See. Matt and Aaron break down the fundamental question of how often friends should connect, revisit and debate the TCS rubric, and explore how to maintain meaningful friendships in busy adult lives. They also tackle a nuanced listener question about balancing friendship quality and quantity in adulthood.

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Key Discussion Points & Insights

1. Reintroducing TCS: A Friendship Maintenance System

• What is TCS?
  • Text once a week, call once a month, see in person once a quarter.
  • Designed to take the guesswork out of staying in touch—especially as adults drift apart due to life’s demands.
  • “We called it TCS: Text Call See. People are always like, how often should I see my friends?... We made up an entirely invented standard…if you stick to these guidelines, you'll have healthy social fitness.” (Matt, 00:32)
• Purpose:
  • To counteract the “friendship recession,” where men are losing close connections as they age.
  • It's a system—not a rigid rule, but a helpful template for connection.
  • “If you text your buddy every eight days instead of every seven days, that's fine. We’re just trying to give you some guidelines.” (Aaron, 01:57)

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2. Why Do We Need Systems?

• Changing Defaults:
  • In youth, friendship is easy and organic—college, first jobs, frequent proximity.
  • With age, maintaining friendship requires intentionality.
  • “We don't have any defaults for friendship...Someday...they wake up at 30, 35, 40, 50, 60, whatever, and go, I don't have any friends anymore. What happened? Well, you didn't bake in any default consistency, so now you are guessing.” (Matt, 03:05)
• Friendship Myths:
  • Men often believe less contact is normal/acceptable.
  • “Guys are not so great at the whole keeping in touch, making plans thing...These are all our friendship myths. And they’re all wrong.” (Aaron, 04:14)
• System = Security:
  • Men love rubrics and clarity.
  • “Whenever I tell people about it...because men love systems. Right?” (Aaron, 27:35)

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3. Debating the ‘C’ in TCS: Should We Update the Rubric?

• What’s Easiest vs. Hardest?
  • Text: Frequent and effortless.
  • Call: Most challenging—“Call? It's got to be the hardest one...the call part is a little bit more aspirational.” (Aaron, 05:23)
  • See: In-person meetups can be sporadic but are important.
• The Value of the Call:
  • “The calls help in terms of tone, emotion, feelings, laughter. There's a little more human feeling.” (Matt, 05:41)
  • Despite its difficulty, calling should be encouraged.
  • “We can’t let our guys be like...they don’t [call]...I think men should be calling their buddies and just a quick check in.” (Aaron, 08:26)
• Room for Flexibility:
  • For those who won’t call: maybe consider a ‘Text-Text-See’ (TTS or TTC) system.
  • Primary goal: keep friendships “alive and warm”—“Friendship defibrillators or friendship dialysis.” (Aaron, 10:13)
• Purpose of Text Chains:
  • Maintain low-pressure continuity.
  • “The purpose of that text chain is low pressure continuity.” (Matt, 10:49)
• In-Person Meetups Shouldn’t Just Be ‘Catch-Ups’:
  • “I don't want the C to just be a catch up...It doesn't feel like a good friendship dynamic.” (Matt, 11:47)
  • Strive for connection in the moment—future-focused, not always reminiscing. Referencing The Sopranos:
    • “Remember when is the lowest form of conversation.” (Tony Soprano, quoted by Matt, 13:00)

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4. Listener Question: Quality vs. Quantity in Adult Friendships (16:44–29:02)

• The Dilemma:
  • “I have friends I genuinely care about, but between work and kids, I barely have energy to maintain TCS with even one person. Is the goal fewer friendships done well, or should I be trying to keep everyone alive socially?” (Listener, 16:44 read by Matt)
• Hosts’ Advice:
  • Prioritize fewer, higher-quality friendships.
  • “Fewer friendships done well is where I would lean.” (Aaron, 17:26)
  • But it's not either/or—outer circle friends can remain with less frequent touch, layered by tiers of engagement.
  • “Those tiers don't need the same level of maintenance...TCS was about your close friends, not every friend.” (Matt, 18:10)
• Friendship 'Triage':
  • It’s OK to let some threads go cold, especially as time/energy are scarce (“In my short of time thing, I just don't respond to my outer text chains...Is that bad?” – Matt, 18:57)
  • Focus on “the most important parts, the inner part, the most sensitive parts. And then the outer part, some of it will shed away.” (Aaron, 22:19)
• Celebrate the High-Quality Friendship:
  • Anecdote about Christina, a master at nurturing both new and old friends.
  • “She's the doctor. She's got more friends than both of us combined...because she prioritizes it.” (Aaron, 24:06)
  • Her technique: using car rides for friend calls—“Car rides are for friendship.” (Aaron, 24:30)
• Group Hang Tip:
  • Optimize your time: invite multiple friends over at once, or see a group (“get the crew together”).
  • “Or get the crew together so you can see everybody at once.” (Aaron, 21:36)

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5. Friendship is Dynamic: Seasons and Surface Connections

• Friend circles change with life stages; it’s natural to focus inward during “busy seasons,” but try not to exclude anyone.
• The outer ring can be nurtured through group events and occasional outreach.
• “It is ever changing...seasons of friendship...So you focus on the most important parts, the inner part, the most sensitive parts. And then the outer part, some of it will shed away.” (Aaron, 22:05–22:19)
• Group chats and parties are useful tools for maintaining low-touch friendships: “That's what those parties are good for, too...ran into a bunch of people. That was my way of keeping those friendships alive socially.” (Matt, 28:42)

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Notable Quotes & Memorable Moments

• TCS System Summed Up:
  • “Text, once a week. Call, once a month. See, once a quarter.” (Matt, 00:35)
• On Why It Matters:
  • “We don't have any defaults for friendship...we're just giving you a box to put it in because there isn't any.” (Matt, 03:05)
• Friendship Myths Addressed:
  • “Guys are not so great at the whole keeping in touch, making plans thing...these are all our friendship myths. And they're all wrong. We've proven them wrong over time.” (Aaron, 04:14)
• On Avoiding the ‘Catch-Up’ Trap:
  • “Remember when is the lowest form of conversation.” (Matt quoting The Sopranos, 13:00)
  • “We say old friends, new memories.” (Aaron, 13:08)
• Friendship as Structure:
  • “Friendship is an important structure, part of your life, so you shouldn't get rid of everybody.” (Aaron, 26:22)
• Practical Wisdom:
  • “Car rides are for friendship.” (Aaron, 24:30)
  • “[Texts] are kind of like friendship defibrillators or friendship dialysis.” (Aaron, 10:13)
• High-Class Problems:
  • “High class problem. You know, there's obviously people struggling to have any friends.” (Aaron, 26:22)

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Timestamps for Important Segments

• TCS System Introduction: 00:32–02:25
• Why Friendship Needs Systems: 03:00–04:43
• Easiest vs. Hardest Parts of TCS: 05:00–06:20
• Inevitability of Adulthood Drift & Text Chains: 08:20–11:47
• “Catch-up Hangouts” vs. Present-Moment Connection: 11:47–13:08
• Listener’s Question (“Quantity vs. Quality?”): 16:44–29:02
• Using Car Rides for Friendship: 24:06–24:33
• Friendship as a Dynamic, Tiered Process: 22:05–22:32; 28:01–28:50

---

Conclusions & Takeaways

• Stick with TCS—But Personalize It:
  • Weekly texts, monthly calls, quarterly hangs work for most, but adjust if needed. Calling is challenging, but do it when you can—voice matters!
• Don’t Let the ‘C’ Be Just a Catch-Up:
  • Use calls/texts to keep the relationship warm, so in-person time is about shared experience, not just bullet-point life updates.
• Focus on Quality Over Quantity:
  • Maintain close friends with high-touch; allow for lighter connections with broader group via text chains, groups, or occasional events.
• Friendship Takes Work (But It's Worth It):
  • “Friendship is an important structure of your life...You shouldn't get rid of everybody.”
• Everyone Has Time—Look for Creative Solutions:
  • Use car rides, group hangs, even quick texts to keep connections strong.

---

“Always remember, be good to yourself. Be good to your friends. Love you buddy.”
—Aaron Karo (32:12)

Transcript

[A]

Man of the year. Man of the Year.

[B]

Man of the Year. Welcome to the number one friendship podcast in the country. I'm Matt Ritter.

[A]

I'm Aaron Caro.

[B]

Guys, go to manofthepodcast.com, check out our merch. Car's wearing our hat. Go to our YouTube. Look at our pretty faces. Go to audible.com thebuddy system to listen to our amazing audiobook about how to make friends and maintain friends and start traditions like we have. You know, Caro, one of our best tips is something that I want to talk about again today, because it's probably the one that I get the most comments about of, like, wow, that's a great rubric. You know, we're trying to give people systems. We called it tcs Text call C. People are always like, how often should I see my friends? I don't know when to see my friends. When should I call? Well, we made up an entirely invented standard text, once a week, call once a month. See in real life, once a quarter. We believe that, that if you stick to these guidelines, you'll have healthy social fitness, you'll have a good friendship flow going. So we wanted to just kind of talk about it again because first of all, it's probably been a while, a lot of new listeners haven't heard it, but, you know, second of all, like, you know, how do you do that? You know, and like, do we like this? Do we. Do we want to change it since we've talked about it? Do we want to, you know, talk about why it works?

[A]

You know, should also shout out our friend Samuel Graham Felson, who wrote about it in New York Times Magazine and has been speaking about it on several podcasts. It takes the guesswork out of seeing your buddies. Also, I think it's fair to say it's not an exact science if you text your buddy every eight days instead of every seven days, that's fine. We're just trying to give you some guidelines of how often you should be talking to your friends. Because some guys think, Matt, oh, I haven't talked to, you know, Jim in six months. And it's like, whatever. We just catch up. Like, no, like, that's not.

[B]

For some reason, Caro's default. I guess everybody has a different default. Imaginary person. Caro's is always Jim or Jimmy. I just noticed that. I don't know why.

[A]

Yeah, where's mine? I don't know. You don't really do it.

[B]

Yeah. You always go to imaginary Jimmy.

[A]

Jimmy. Yeah, because. Because we don't know any Jimmy. So I just Feel like it's not going to be about anybody. Do. Yeah, I think we should, like, talk about. And then I think you're right to ask, like, should we update it?

[B]

Well, I want to get back into the, you know, the why of it. First of all.

[A]

Yeah, yeah, please.

[B]

You know, we don't have any defaults for friendship. Like, again, you know, we talked about when you're younger, friendships everywhere. You know, you're in the dorms, you're. You're in college or whatever, first job, you're just seeing people on such a regular basis, you probably won't. You don't need these. You don't need these. Right. When friendship is everywhere, fine. But you don't need any of this stuff. But it's healthy to start baking it in before you get to a point where you no longer have them. Right. Because someday, a lot like many of our listeners, they wake up at 30, 35, 40, 50, 60, whatever, and go, I don't have any friends anymore. What happened? Well, you didn't bake in any default consistency, so now you are guessing. Right. Carol just said we're taking the guesswork out of it. Now you're just guessing and grasping at straws for, man, when I don't even know when I'm going to see my friend next. I don't even know when I'm going to. Why? Why would I know? How would I know? So we're just giving you a box to put it in because there isn't any.

[A]

Yeah, because it's, it's. Guys are not so great at the whole keeping in touch, making plans thing. And guys may think you're not supposed to talk to your buddies all the time, or it's weird to text your friends. I mean, anything but sports stuff. Or you don't need to see them in person or you have your wife, so it doesn't matter.

[B]

Right. These are all our friendship myths. And they're all wrong. We've proven them wrong over time.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

You know, and we all just assume that these things are going to happen if we don't do anything about them. They're not. It's like not going to happen organically. And so, you know, we actually, for sure. I know everybody who's kind of instituted this rubric. It's working for them. But I guess let's talk about from, like, obviously easiest to hardest. Right? I think the text is the easiest.

[A]

Text is the easiest, but also the most frequent.

[B]

Right. So is it easier to text once a week? Is it harder to call once a Month or is it harder to see? Yeah, which one's the easiest? Is it easiest to text once a week or is it easiest to call once a month or is it easiest to see once a quarter?

[A]

Call? It's got to be the hardest one calls. The one that I always would. Maybe put an asterisk next.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

But I think the call part is a little bit more aspirational than, you know, if you end up seeing your buddy twice in a quarter or three times a quarter, I'll take that over the call.

[B]

Agreed. I. I would agree with that, you know, but I do think, you know, the calls help in terms of tone, emotion, feelings, laughter. It's just, you know, there's no tone. It's just hard, you know, it's. There's a little more human feeling to,

[A]

you know, the call, you know, versus the text. Yeah, yeah, of course, of course. But just that like guys, I mean, that's. I think guys understand texting, they understand seeing someone, but like, they're not really. Like, no one's. What percentage of the world do you think are mats and what are percentage

[B]

or K rose in terms of who calls?

[A]

Just people who like the chickens who

[B]

chit chat in a day? 50. 50. I don't know.

[A]

50, 50.

[B]

I have no idea.

[A]

50 mats in this world.

[B]

The world.

[A]

The world would burn.

[B]

No, I think, I think a lot of. A lot of JMC likes to chitchat.

[A]

Yeah. How was your. You haven't mentioned him in a while. How is your chit chat frequency?

[B]

We have a daily chit chat. Usually daily. Yeah.

[A]

Oh, my God. Wow. Yeah, that's. That's a lot of. How long is it? How long's the average chit chat?

[B]

10 minutes.

[A]

That's pretty sweet.

[B]

Yeah, that's good. It's good, but I think, I don't know, we'd have to get up, do a poll.

[A]

Should we, should we give him a shout? I just bought us a backpack.

[B]

Yeah. What is it for?

[A]

So our friend Jeremy has a backpack company called Tortuga Backpacks.

[B]

Yeah, Shout out. Tortuga.

[A]

Great backpacks, great backpacks. He designed them and, and himself. And they're super popular. And I just bought the Dave Day Carry Pro, I believe, and they're great,

[B]

but what you buy it for?

[A]

I need a new backpack.

[B]

No, I'm saying, are you going on a trip for Bermuda?

[A]

Oh, yeah.

[B]

For.

[A]

I know you did that on purpose and I find that insulting. Yes, I am going to Aruba next week. And you are correct. Yes.

[B]

Are you gonna bring it?

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

Great.

[A]

Yeah. But, but anyway, the. I also feel like the text.

[B]

The.

[A]

The text and the calls are also filling in this. The gaps in between you seeing someone in person.

[B]

Right. Yes. Well, I was gonna say like for men you could do tts. Right? Like what you're saying is true. Right. If there's some guys are not phone call guys. So they just may be tts. Text test Text, text C. Text text C. I do. Right.

[A]

Upset.

[B]

We may need to update it for the men who are just like, I can't call somebody once a month. Like that's not happening.

[A]

But let me. Let me just walk back what I said about the calling thing. I do think we should be encouraging phone call behavior.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

Like we, we, we. We can't let our guys be like. Well, they don't. I mean, I had a call somewhere to make a reservation. The other they. They didn't take, you know, open table and I got that gen Z panga of like, oh God, I have to call someone.

[B]

Are you never called to make resis?

[A]

I mean, why you call to make resis usually? I mean, up until recently. I don't know if you still do. You were calling for food delivery?

[B]

No.

[A]

Yes. Yes, I've been. Maybe not like in the past year, but at least a few years ago.

[B]

You recall or before the apps were, you know, readily.

[A]

You mid app. You were still.

[B]

Well, no, because there were places that weren't on it. Like my favorite Chinese food place. They weren't on.

[A]

Right.

[B]

But I also haven't had Chinese in like two years since you.

[A]

Because you've always eaten healthy your entire life. Salmon for every meal.

[B]

Pretty. For the past. For the past decade, we'll say.

[A]

Yeah. Anyway, I do think that men should be calling their buddies and just a quick check in. Did you watch the game Etc. Say that again, Matt.

[B]

This episode's reminding me. I've got some people I gotta call.

[A]

Yeah, I just don't think we should let them people off the hook.

[B]

Right. But I was just suggesting if we are revising it, does it make sense to just go okay, well if you can't do TCs, do TTs.

[A]

Yeah, that's fair. And. And texting. Like I think most guys are on text chains with their buddies or texting their buddies. Are you okay with just a surface level?

[B]

Yeah, I think texts are to keep the friendships alive and warm.

[A]

So they're kind of like a relation. Friendship defibrillators or friendship just like friendship dialysis.

[B]

Yeah, dialysis. Just keeping it alive. But look, I think it's a. It's good to like, throw in, you know, random big stuff, you know, putting

[A]

big stuff on the text.

[B]

Yeah, like, got it. You know, like when you text about people's promotions on our text chains, I think it's good.

[A]

Be the herald. Yeah, I mean, it's good. It's good to just. How you doing? How's the wife? How's the kids?

[B]

The purpose of that text chain is low pressure continuity.

[A]

And do you still feel like text weekly is the right frequency?

[B]

I do, yeah.

[A]

I mean, because text daily is probably an unrealistic and yeah, text weekly is hard. Yeah, text weekly is. Is. We go quick. You know, weeks go quick, life goes fast.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

Okay, so we said text weekly. We're saying call monthly, which I think is ambitious, but directionally correct.

[B]

And I think it's, you know, again, about maintaining those good feelings. Sharing things, sharing updates. I also just don't. I guess part of it is I don't want the C part of it. Text, call C. I don't want the C to just be a catch up.

[A]

Okay.

[B]

So if you haven't done the T and you haven't done the S. I'm sorry. If you haven't done the T and you haven't done the C, the S tends to fall into this just catch up hangout, which is really what we don't want.

[A]

Hold on. You don't want the C to cat be a catch up? You don't want the S to be a ketchup?

[B]

No, I'm saying the C in real life, the hang.

[A]

Well, the problem is it's tcs. But the S stands for C. I never even thought about that.

[B]

Sorry. Yeah, the text and the call, you know, I want them to be enough so that the hangout in real life isn't just a catch up. I mean, that's been a problem is that people are just catching up. And it doesn't feel like a good friendship dynamic to just see your friend every couple months and just get a, you know, bullet point update on what's going on.

[A]

What's the opposite of a catch up? Like what. What would you. A move forward.

[B]

Yeah, being in the moment. Right. Like actually having that hang be about the present, not the past.

[A]

What did Tony Soprano say?

[B]

Remember when is the lowest formal conversation.

[A]

Okay.

[B]

And we say old friends, new memories.

[A]

Old friends, new memories. I think let's. Let's coin something. Instead of a catch up, What should we be endeavoring for?

[B]

I mean, I. I don't know. I'm trying to say you should be living your life with your friends.

[A]

Right.

[B]

I don't know what's a good.

[A]

Because you want.

[B]

You want.

[A]

Because I'm almost trying to think of like, what else do people do besides catch up?

[B]

I mean, they hang out.

[A]

But what do you even talk about?

[B]

Well, I guess you talk about your day, your week, but that shouldn't be all of it, right? What I'm, you know, like emotions, the world.

[A]

I don't know, like what your plans are for the future.

[B]

Yeah. Forward looking

[A]

a catch up right now.

[B]

Having laughs in the moment. You know, new moments, new laughs.

[A]

Yeah. A launch forward, a sync up. Yeah. Okay. All right. Well, we're going to workshop that.

[B]

Should we take a listener question?

[A]

We'll be right back with a listener question.

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[A]

Okay, guys, this is asking for a friend. If you have a friendship question or ethical dilemma, send it to us on Instagram at Man of the Year podcast and we will answer it on the show. Matthew, take it away.

[B]

Okay. I think you're gonna like this one because it's like a. It's like a hard question that I don't think we've asked in a while or discussed. Matt and Caro, I have friends I genuinely care about, but between work and kids, I barely have energy to maintain TCs with even one person. Is the goal fewer friendships done well, or should I be trying to keep everyone alive socially?

[A]

Yeah. So we've got the classic quantity versus quality, which we've discussed, I think. You know, I'm sure you would agree fewer friendships done well is where I would lean.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

The long tail of friendship, the outer circle, the fringe. Friends are important and play an important role in a balanced dude pyramid.

[B]

Right.

[A]

But if you're spread too thin, I don't have any trouble with a focus, a friendship focus.

[B]

Right, Right. I mean, I think the answer is yes. The goal is fewer friendships done well. But I don't think they're mutually exclusive because the way they're phrasing it is a little, to me, needs a little adjusting. Right. So the or part was. Or should I be trying to keep everyone alive socially? Right. So, you know, you can put people in these tiers like what we're talking about. Those tiers don't need the same level of maintenance. Right. We said RTCS was about your close friends, not every friend.

[A]

That's true. We didn't act. You know, to be fair, we never really specified. Did we?

[B]

Yeah, I think early on we did. In the first time we mentioned it, it was like with your close friends, with your inner ring.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

Because the closer you, your circle is, the more maintenance you should be giving it. So it should be tiered.

[A]

I mean, I also can't. I mean, unless this person is like, you don't have time for anything. I mean, like, everybody's got time for friendship. I think you got to make that time Right.

[B]

Well, I was going to say this, Carol, you'll probably appreciate this because you probably have just. You. You probably just end every text chain that you're like, I don't feel this anymore. I definitely, like, in my short of time thing, I just don't respond to my outer. Outer text chains?

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

Is that bad? No.

[A]

I mean, it depends on the text chain or what's going on. But it's like. Yeah, I mean, but that's that kind of triage. You're saving seconds. You know, this guy's more talking, like actual friendships.

[B]

But it says something if you don't want to answer that text chain. Right. It says something about it.

[A]

Yeah. Yeah, that's true. I mean, if this. If the tech chain really jazzed you up, you'd be all over it, you know, Listen, I. I do get that, like, I will get a friend. I'll text with a friend or something who's secondary to tertiary, but still a friend. And they're like, let's get together. And in my head, I'm like, I haven't seen Jeff.

[B]

Right.

[A]

In three months.

[B]

Right.

[A]

Like, how can I possibly, like, rationalize this?

[B]

Right.

[A]

Which is tough because, like, how do you. What do you. You can't say that.

[B]

No, I know. I did just get lunch with somebody in that, like, vast outer ring recently

[A]

in the milk, and we had a

[B]

good time, you know, but it was also just because, like, I don't know, I didn't have anyone else on the calendar for that lunch.

[A]

Yeah. I mean, Matt, you could also just, you know, get lunch by yourself.

[B]

Well, I'm saying I. I didn't want to turn them down. Yeah, I want to turn them down, you know?

[A]

Yeah, yeah.

[B]

But, like, you know. Oh, well, you know, if that random outer ring person and text you to have lunch, like, should you just not do that, then go call Jeff?

[A]

I mean, I guess we're describing, like, friendship, opportunity, costs. Like, you didn't really cost you anything because not like Jeff was around. Poor, poor Jeff. But. But, yeah, I mean, I think you got to focus on the inner circle first. Again, I don't believe that you don't have time to see anybody. I mean, again, maybe you have kids or just had kids or you're the, you know, have a really depending, demanding job. But I mean, I wonder if we should talk about methods to, you know, optimize your time. I mean, first of all, you could invite people, multiple people over at once, have a party. I mean, that seems like a big lift.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

Or get the crew together. So you don't see everybody once or so you can see everybody wants.

[B]

Right. But I do think a lot of people struggle. That's why I think this is a good question. Right. A lot of people struggle with is it an either or? Like, can I have what? You know, it's like a lot of people feel overwhelmed. This is what people feel. They go, look, I can't have the same social life I used to have. I could have one or two good friends, or I could, like, kind of keep everybody, you know, on the burner, but not really close to me. And I can't do both.

[A]

Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. I think that's. Listen, you know what happens. The friendship is like the epidermis. It continuously sheds and regrows.

[B]

Okay.

[A]

So you focus on the most important parts, the inner part, the most sensitive parts. And then the outer part, some of it will shed away. And then, honestly, some of your inner parts grows out and it just keeps going on and on.

[B]

Look, it is ever changing. And we talked about seasons of friendship before. Right. And if you're in a season where you are tight for time with kids and work and whatever. Yeah. It's only natural to kind of close, rank a little. What we don't want you to do is close rank and exclude any friends.

[A]

You know, who's. Who's such a good. Who's such an apex. Friends. I just saw her. Is our friend Christina.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

So just for our listeners, I've mentioned before, she's one of the only people I've known longer than Matt. Christina. First grade. First graders. She was with a friend the other day that I met who. Okay. So Christina, you know, she. She's a cancer survivor, this woman who was great. She said she met Christina this is like 2019 when she was doing chemo. Okay. So Christina was bald and go in treatment. Okay. And she made a new friend. I think they were like daughter friends that. What's it called? Mom friends? Yeah.

[B]

Okay.

[A]

She goes. She goes. I rang the bell. When she finished her treatment, that's how fast they went from complete strangers to ringing the bell. I don't know. Within a year.

[B]

Yeah. I mean, look, obviously it's a journey,

[A]

but I'm just saying it's impressive.

[B]

It's amazing, but it shows you. It doesn't take that much time if you really.

[A]

Right. You know, like, she's the doctor. She's got more friends than both of us combined. Probably because she. Because she. What's the word? She prioritizes it.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

And every time she's in the Car. When you're in the car, are you usually podcast music calls or calls a mix?

[B]

Depends on how much time I have.

[A]

Yeah. Christina, whenever she's in the car, she's talking to a friend.

[B]

That's great. That's a great use. That's a great use of the car. The car ride.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

Car rides are for friendship.

[A]

Car rides are for friendship. Funny, because my first thought is, who, what, what work can I do in the car?

[B]

What do you do in the car? What do you mean?

[A]

No, like, make work calls.

[B]

A work calls.

[A]

Yeah, yeah, yeah. I'm not typing while I'm driving.

[B]

Yeah, I was like. Are you dictating? I could see you dictating a script. Script nodes thing.

[A]

Well, I, you know who I. What I think, Matt, I think whose habits. Can I unstack right now?

[B]

Yeah, exactly. Wait, what about this app? You heard about this app that's making all the scripts like for the agents to read them, listen to them.

[A]

Oh, that's been around for years.

[B]

Yeah. But there's a way to make sure that they are listening to it. Oh.

[A]

So it shows you whether they actually.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

Did it.

[B]

We got to get that.

[A]

Have you used. Have you tried it?

[B]

No.

[A]

Yeah. I'm not sure. I've never listened to a script, but I would like to.

[B]

I'm not sure if I want to do that.

[A]

Yeah, it's hard for me to pay. Well, it's hard for me to pay attention regardless. I thought you were talking about. Because, you know, there's that app now, Matt, for like really hot specs that scripts that go out. It. Like it explodes. It doesn't literally explode, but it's a, you know, it's a closed loop. You can't share it. You can't do whatever. You have to read it within 24 hours. I don't know. I'm sure.

[B]

How do we get all that?

[A]

I think, I think if. I think the top. Let's just say the top agents are using it.

[B]

Hasn't trickled down to us yet.

[A]

No. If anyone says to a. To a buyer, this Matt Ritter, this Aaron Caro script, it's a must read by Monday laughed into this.

[B]

This script will explode in 48 hours

[A]

anyway. So I think that, listen, I think we should also say high class problem. You know, there's obviously people struggling to have any friends. So this guy doesn't feel he has time to talk to all of his friends. That's a good problem to have. It's still important. Like, I don't want you to think, well, I Don't have time for this. So you're like, friendship is an important structure part of your life, so you shouldn't get rid of everybody.

[B]

Right. And it's like, you know, keeping everyone alive socially, that's the best thing about friendship is, like, you could always come back to somebody after a year and be like, yeah, man, I had a crazy year, but been meaning to catch up. Like, let's go get. You know, let's go get lunch. And then you've now revived it.

[A]

Listen, we could create a new, you know, an emergency version of tcs. It's ttt, you know, if there's something going on. Text, text, text. You know, or text. Or tcc. T, C. Yeah, the letter cc. Like, if you're just. You can't see one or you're right, whatever. But dm.

[B]

Dm. Dm.

[A]

Yeah. Dm. Dm, dm. That's funny, too. But I think it remains. It's. It's interesting and we'll hear from our readers who. Who have been using it. But, like, whenever I tell people about it, they. Because men love systems. Right? That's why we wrote the buddy system. Well, now on audible, like, I think it just gives comfort rather than like, someone's looking at their calendar every week to see if they texted their friends.

[B]

Yes. I mean, do we. Do we answer this for the guy? I mean, I think the answer is. The answer is yes. The goal is fewer friendships. Done. Well, that's the priority. It's not either or. But if you're going to put a gun to our heads and say which one's more important. Yes. That you've locked down TCs with a few close friends. And if you're doing that right. Yeah. You should also, you know, figure out ways to keep some of the outer rings active in some way. That's why text chains are great. Group chats are great. That's why. Listen, that's why. That's what those parties are good for, too. Like, I went to a birth. Jesse and I went to a birthday party recently from an outer ring, and we ran into a bunch of people.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

And that was my way of keeping those friendships alive socially. These are not people that I even text.

[A]

Right. Man, I am not. I'm not looking forward to the birthday party circuit, the kids birthday party circuit.

[B]

You know, we. We go to. I mean, I don't know. You know, they're actually, like. They're not as. They're not as does that. You know, they're not like. I don't know. Sometimes we Split up. It's easy.

[A]

But you also, you like, that's your whole day. Like you can't do anything else.

[B]

Yeah, yeah, but how many things do you want to do in a day?

[A]

What is there a certain call time for a kid's birthday?

[B]

Depends on the age. Around their nap time.

[A]

So you mean. You mean building it around their nap time?

[B]

Yeah. Right. So some of them are like 11 to 1. Some of them are after 3.

[A]

What are your kids that current nap times?

[B]

Brenner's not really napping at all.

[A]

Is that normal?

[B]

Yeah, people kind of pull the nap around three and Julie naps it like 10:30, and then at 2:30. Three.

[A]

Two naps a day.

[B]

Kill for a nap.

[A]

Yeah. God, what a. What a wonderful existence.

[B]

Kids. Oh, they have it the best.

[A]

Two naps, throwing raspberries wherever they want.

[B]

Brenner wakes up at 5:30, climbs on my face, starts doing that like I taught him how to go like. So now he does it on my cheek. At 5:30, he goes, I want to go to large mod. I'm like, just come on. Give me a second.

[A]

There are no, no, no rules of when they can come into your room.

[B]

Yeah, I told him he can't come until morning.

[A]

Morning? I mean, that's a little vague.

[B]

5:30. Yeah, he pretty much knows. He knows he can't come in before 5:30.

[A]

Yeah. I just remember Brian like they. For Kobe. They. Like you said 6am so he had a little clock in his room.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

He would wait.

[B]

Yeah, well, we tried that. We tried the like. A lot of people tried different things. There's like a sun and a moon and.

[A]

Oh, yeah, that didn't work. I mean, so now Brenner needs the

[B]

door unlocked and open in his bedroom so he can come right out to us.

[A]

Well, you didn't. I assume it wasn't locked before.

[B]

Well, it was locked like adult door handle.

[A]

Got it. He's like a velociraptor.

[B]

Exactly. He Learned.

[A]

Yeah. Oof. 5:30. Yeah. And they were out the door.

[B]

He's the first. He's the first kid in Larchmont.

[A]

Yeah. All right. I think we answered that question.

[B]

Revised TCs. We revised TCs.

[A]

Well, this. We got TC, TCC, TTT. And eventually, you know, SSS. That will be the. That. All right, well, I think we're. I'm going to do a double conclusion, which I've never done. That was asking for a friend. If you have a listener question, send us on Instagram. We'll answer on the show. Also, thank you for listening. To the podcast. If you have any TCS advice, please let us know. Always remember, be good to yourself. Be good to your friends. Love you buddy.

[B]

Love you buddy.

[G]

You're never just one thing. You're the boss. Hey Google, when's my next meeting? The athlete that class wrecks me and their mom Everyone in the all new Mazda CX5 more to move every side of you. Learn [e-mail] Google is a trademark of Google LLC. Sequences shortened and simulated Spring Black Friday

[E]

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[A]

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