Gemma Smeg (0:00)

Foreign this is Open Mind. Welcome to a brand new week. Here is your Mantra I am a Magnetic Person. I'm your host, Gemma Smeg, and I'm here to guide you toward a more centered and fulfilling life. Each week I'll share personal stories and insights that are focused on a specific mantra, plus journal prompts and a weekly challenge to help us all put it into action. Think of Mantra as your mental reset button, a way to stay centered as you juggle work, school, family, whatever else life throws at you. Each mantra is a simple, powerful phrase you can repeat to refocus your thoughts and bring a little bit of calm into your day. It's a small tool with a big impact, clearing your mind, lifting your mood, and rooting you in the present. If you've listened to my other show, the psychology of your 20s, you will know I'm all about those little nuggets of insight that make a really big impact. So whether you're looking for some extra inspiration or just trying to ground yourself amidst the chaos, you have come to the right place at Open Mind. We so value your support and share your thoughts on social media. And remember to rate, review and follow Mantra to help others discover the show. For more exclusive content, monthly bonus episodes, early access and ad free listening, join our Open Mind plus community on Apple Podcasts. This week I'm going to catch you up on what's been going on in my life and then we'll dive into today's mantra. I am a Magnetic person. This mantra is all about, I think, owning your natural charisma, recognizing the unique energy you bring into every room, and learning how to attract people, opportunities and experiences that are meant for you by being more aligned with your higher self. So stick around. We will be right back after this short pause. 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So if you have been craving a reset, here is a mini mantra for you. I give myself permission to unwind and if that resonates, make sure to visit resortpass.com mantra and use my code mantra20 for $20 off your first booking. Welcome back. We are going to get into this week's Mantra in just a few but before we do, it is time for my highs lows and who knows, we got a huge high today. I went on a camping trip last weekend and okay, I haven't been camping like seriously since I was probably 20 or 21. Why have I been sleeping on this? It was so much fun. My boyfriend as well has never been camping despite being from, you know, what non Australians would call, call the bush. He had never been camping. And so we had made it this priority that we were going to go and do this at some stage this year and oh my gosh, did we not have the best time. We went with like around eight friends and the dog and we got this huge campsite and it was amazing. We had s' mores, we made like sourdough in the fire and like campfire nachos and we also made a strict no phones policy for the entire weekend so no one was allowed to be on their phone. And it was just so refreshing and enjoyable and was just a brilliant opportunity not just to like reconnect with each other, but also with ourselves and with nature. I also found, and I don't know if this is a common thing that people find when they're camping. I came back and, like, my sleep schedule is so much better, and I think it's because my circadian rhythm really had, like a natural reset from being outdoors and rising with the sun and going down with the sun. So it was amazing. I know it's summer coming up for a lot of people in, like, the Northern Hemisphere, so go camping. I feel like I sound very preachy and like I'm someone who's just discovered this for the first time, but it was super relaxing. And I think in a world that's very connected these days and very obsessed with, like, online Persona, disconnecting from that is such a healthy thing that you can do with that. Sidebar Done. With that tangent over, let's actually shift to this week's mantra. I am a magnetic person. I try not to have favorites when it comes to our mantras, but I have to confess, this is my favorite mantra of all time. And I'm being entirely serious, entirely truthful, because I have personally found this mantra so powerful and transformative. It is what has guided me through my last breakup. It is what I have repeated to myself before every single first date I have ever been on. Every time I've gotten on stage, I have said this mantra to myself before I've walked up. Whenever I walk into an event, a party, whenever I go to dinner alone, I am a magnetic person. That phrase has genuinely been my best friend in so many situations. I feel genuinely so excited to talk about it with you today. Let me begin by just really articulating, I think, what makes someone magnetic. We tend to believe that magnetism just equals attraction. People who are attractive, they're the ones who pull people in. It's biological. It is how history and humanity has always worked. We like pretty things, we like pretty people. But recent findings have really shown that attraction alone is really not enough, and it's also not required. The people we find most alluring are those who are confident above all else and also self assured. And the reason we know this is because of a series of studies that examined how people actually respond in fake dating situations to people who are deemed attractive and those who are maybe not as conventionally attractive, but incredibly confident, self assured, magnetic. So in these studies, the subjects were going on dates with people who weren't real. Right? They thought that these people were real. They were actually actors, and they had been given scripts and the Scripts for the people who were the magnetic partners were full of statements that made the person seem stable, calm, welcoming, self aware, very charming. And those people, they stood out even when they had literal models. In this fake date situation, we are more attracted to confidence than looks. So looks aren't everything. I think to be a magnetic person is really to have emotional resonance and an innate ability, I guess, to connect. You are equally calm as you are energized. You are equally interested as you are respectful and private. You are curious. You care about others and as a result, you make them feel seen. What does that feel like in your body? When you encounter someone who is magnetic, how do they make you feel? And how does that description make you feel as well? More than that, I think, more than all those words. People who are magnetic, they know who they are. Now the question does obviously like, come to mind, does anyone ever really know who they truly are? And the answer is probably no, but. But a magnetic person is okay with not knowing everything about themselves, but being very sure of what they do know. And they're also not scared to grow and evolve and also to hold contradictions within themselves very lovingly and gracefully. Like, I am this person, but I'm also this person. And maybe that doesn't make sense, but I am confident that to me it does. If this sounds very intangible, I get it. I very much get it. So an exercise I want you to do with me today is to really imagine someone in your life who you see as magnetic. Now, this could be a stranger, it could be a celebrity, but I would really love for you to think of someone who, you know, who makes you feel warm, who you are very drawn to. What is it about them that you think makes others feel so alive? I truly believe that we are drawn to others not necessarily because of who they are, but because of how they make us feel about ourselves. And we're drawn to them because they do it very authentically and honestly. You know, we can easily pick up someone a mile away who is feigning charisma or closeness just to make us like them. Or who is what we would call, you know, two faced magnetic people. On the other hand, they seem to do it without trying. And to quote some further research, we really do prefer people who make us feel positive, validated and connected. And we also prefer people who embody something we call reciprocity. Giving back what you receive, whether it's compliments, vibes, favors. These kinds of people, they often do it effortlessly and they also allow us to emotionally regulate ourselves and this association of feeling calm in someone's presence makes us want to be around them even more. That's what makes someone magnetic. It's the association with a specific mental state. And it's why you probably had a favorite teacher in high school, why you have a friend who you always go to for advice. It's that association with their character, their presence, and how they make you feel internally if you want to be this kind of person. Self perception plays a big role in this, which is why I find this mantra so powerful. The more you believe you are magnetic, the more you will act like it. It's a self fulfilling prophecy whereby your beliefs about yourself influence your actions, which in turn influence your beliefs, creating kind of an upward spiral of confidence. The easiest way I've found to feel more magnet is not to try so hard, but to say, and to believe that I already am and to match my actions to that statement. And I think that internal alignment is what's most powerful and it allows your cup to be overflowing. I act in a way where I already believe I have attracted what I deserve. I act in a way where I am deliberate and intentional about filling up my own life. So that once my cup is overflowing, that's when it really starts pouring over into others lives and really drawing them in again. You can't force it in the same way you can't force someone to like you. The focus should always be on how you feel and what you're doing and what rituals you practice. But typically what I found is that the people who care the least about others opinions are often the ones who have the most favorable opinions about them. Magnetism cannot be created externally. And by seeking out validation, it has to emerge internally and from a real, your core place of authenticity and knowing yourself and just being an individual who says, this is what I stand for, this is what I like, this is who I am. It's okay if you don't like me for that. You know, when we talk about magnetism as well, we're not just talking about being noticed. We're also talking about that very quiet, electric truth of knowing who we are and not trying so hard to convince other people of that. It's actually quite powerful. And it really does ask us to rethink how we move through the world. Are we moving through the world for others or for ourselves? All right, coming up, let's get personal. I want to take you further inside this mantra and what it stirred up for me, but also how the idea of being magnetic shows up up in very subtle and surprising ways and how to really channel some of the efforts to be a more magnetic version of yourself. So stay tuned. We're going to be right back after this brief course. Did you know that gum disease has been strongly linked to cardiovascular issues like stroke and heart attacks? At Smile Generation, oral health is treated like what it really is, the gateway to your entire body. The mouth is literally the unsung hero of your overall health. 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As much as I adore this mantra, and I really, really do, it's been a while since I've really related to it on a deep, soulful, meaningful level. You know, I've definitely Had moments recently of magnetism, especially when I'm around friends, even when I'm with strangers. But I don't know, I've been feeling really off recently and I don't think I realized that until I was considering this mantra. You know, the last time I really relied on this phrase, I am a magnetic person. I feel like it genuinely transported me into a new chapter and it was so intentional and it was a gateway way for so many incredible things that have happened to me in my life. I remember the last time I really relied on this mantra was probably in 2022, 2023, my days when I was in Sydney, and especially when I was starting out the podcast, when I was trying to make new friends, when I was dating. And I would really reflect on it quite regularly. I felt very powerful, I felt very self assured. And then the power of the magnetism started to work and things did happen for me and to me and people did surround me. And then I kind of forgot about it. I forgot how useful it could be. And you know, don't get me wrong, this recent chapter has been really incredible, but I really haven't felt myself throughout it all. And speaking of this mantra today, I really think I can now tell why. I think I feel very connected from who I am authentically. And that is what strips us of our magnetism. You know, what is so powerful about feeling magnetic and it is like a literal drug, is that magnetism is absorbed into all other areas of your life. When you feel magnetic as a person, when you feel good about yourself and self assured, you suddenly feel more positive and motivated towards your work. You handle things better in your friendships, your attitude towards yourself transforms, you're a better partner. You feel more confident when you're dating, like you genuinely feel invincible. It's like this little golden bubble is surrounding you as you walk through life. As you walk down the street, every person who comes within a couple meters of you is absorbed into that golden bubble as well and looks at you and it's just like, wow. I think the steps to truly believing you are magnetic and getting back to this place and is to firstly, as we said before, be prepared to pour into your own life before you can pull in and attract others. The easiest way to fast track magnetism is to deeply invest in, I believe, a creative hobby or some kind of creative goal, but also to uphold a kind of spiritual practice. And maybe your creative endeavor is that spiritual practice for you. It doesn't have to be religious, but something that makes you feel connected to yourself, yourself and the world around you, meditation, prayer, art, yoga, whatever. It is a way to feel connected, a way to see that everything has meaning for other things, but also to kind of detach in a way from a lot of the noise that you don't necessarily need to be hearing. Right. I think the reason why having a kind of spiritual or artistic practice is so recommended is because it allows you to fully be in this flow state. We talk about flow so often because it is so psychologically powerful. But this flow state is really when you are at probably your highest level of consciousness. You're focused, your mood is elevated, you feel equally challenged as you do happy, and time just seems to pass you by. And I think it's in that state that you really feel most like yourself that is the portal to being magnetic. Secondly, you need to be truly honest about the ways that you are amazing without being afraid that saying it is suddenly going to turn you into an arrogant person. Let me tell you this right now. It will not ruin you to be honest about your skills, talents, whatever makes you shine, because there is something that you are objectively very good at and very talented when it comes to. So how can you fully embrace magnetism if you shrink down or don't bring the things that make you unique into the light for others to be drawn to and, you know, just to feel proud of? I know that it feels kind of strange, especially in a world that has definitely nailed in this idea of humility. But people who are magnetic know that there's something about them that's special. They don't necessarily need to brag about it, but they also don't need to hide from it. Thirdly, you have to find a way to cue the mindset of a magnetic person. Obviously, this mantra is a great way to do it. If you re listen to this podcast episode, that's also a great way. But I think repeating this mantra, having it written on your back door, on a piece of paper, on your mirror, is such an important way to keep it at the center and to keep you coming back to why you should feel magnetic, what you should be doing to work towards it. The very fact that you're thinking about it probably means that you already are. But other things that I remember doing to really, really trigger magnetism and a feeling of being magnetic was to have a magnetic playlist that only contains songs that really put me into that mindset. Also having a ritual attached to this mantra. So repeating I'm a magnetic person whilst also lighting incense or swaying in your room, having that one outfit that One look that activates it in you is so essential. And finally, you really have to understand that it takes time. If we go through the first part of our life, or up until this point, diminishing ourselves, trying to stay small, suddenly being like, I'm going to truly step into my magnetic energy is going to be a big change. Don't be disheartened by people overlooking you. I always think about this. I don't blame myself for the fact that someone needs to wear glasses. So why do I blame myself for when someone's personal perception of me is off? That's a them problem. Part of adopting a magnetic mindset is being acutely focused on what you can control. And although being magnetic does trickle out into other people and does bring people into our world, it's actually not about them. And being able to control them is not what we're after. Magnetism is about a feeling within us. You know, there have been times when I've tried so hard to be like this magnetic person because I thought it would have people like me more or would make a man attracted to me. And it never worked. And of course I felt rejected. But that's the big issue with this mantra, if we don't use it correctly, is we think that it's only used to make us desirable or to gain romantic interest, which is totally not the case. It is essential for so many other things. For your career, for your friendships, for work opportunities, for creative opportunities, for exploration, meeting amazing people. Don't use it poorly. Use this mantra wisely. If you only want to be magnetic to make other people attracted to you, you are doing yourself a disservice because it is incredible for so many other reasons. And those other reasons, if you focus on them, are actually where I think we get more drawn into a magnetic lifestyle. And for all my advice, I do think it's going to be different for everyone because you have to be able to identify when you are in your element, your flow channeling, your higher self. It's going to be different for you compared to me. But I want you to really notice when you are most aligned with yourself and you feel most alive. That is the exact state and feeling that you should be cultivating more of if you want to be a more magnetic individual. So with that in mind, I'd like to share our deep thought of the day your energy introduces you before you even speak. I think what this really brings up to me is that we do focus sometimes too much on words, on their meaning, on saying the right thing, not realizing that so much of communication is in how we make people feel. I think the energy that we bring into a space definitely speaks on a frequency that is beyond logic, like the ability to communicate sincerity, safety, confidence that can come forward and be brought into the room before a single sentence is spoken. So, yes, your words do matter, but the energy behind them often speaks the loudest. And you want to be someone who makes other people feel safe and feel secure and feel seen. So if you're worried about feeling being coming off as magnetic, I think something else you really need to consider is how do I want to make other people feel, and what do people do to make me feel that way? Now, I'd like us to take a few moments to pause and really sit with this mantra. In just a moment, you'll hear a custom music track created to help make space for you to absorb today's insights and to really consider how you might bring this mantra into your week and hopefully just your life in general. If this practice isn't your style, if it doesn't resonate with you, that is totally okay. Feel free to Skip ahead about 30 seconds, but as you settle in, keep our mantra in mind. I am a magnetic person. Let it really guide your thoughts as the music plays, and give yourself a moment to reflect and connect with what this could mean for you and how you could put it into action. Beautiful. All right, now that we have explored what it means to be magnetic, let's talk about how to live it day by day, moment by moment. I'm going to share some journal prompts that I have personally used, and also, of course, our weekly challenge. So stick around for more after this short, short break. I feel like something that not many of us think about is the toothpaste that we're using. But toothpaste is something that we use every single day. It's something that typically contains a lot of chemicals and artificial junk. But recently I have switched to bokeh, and it has changed my life. Not only do they have really nice flavors, they have this flavor called element that's my favorite. But also cocoa ginger. I know it sounds strange, but it has this, like, perfect hint of warmth and freshness that you need to try. I also love how mindful they are about their ingredients. And their secret ingredient is actually something called nano hydroxy apatite, or N Ha. Now, N ha was initially used by astronauts in space as a way to rebuild their enamel and keep their teeth clean without the use of fluoride. So for a limited time, bokeh is actually offering you guys my listeners. 15 off its best selling toothpaste on Amazon and bokeh.com with code mantra15. That's mantra15. Make the switch to Bokeh for the whole family. Get smoother, brighter skin instantly. In one easy step, Dermalogica's daily Microfoliant gives you the smooth, glowy skin you want without damaging your skin barrier. This gentleman exfoliating powder activates with water to smooth out rough texture and brighten skin. It's powerful enough to deliver results, yet gentle enough to use every single day, even on sensitive skin. See the results for yourself, visit dermalogica.com and use code Smooth at cart for an exclusive free gift with $65 purchase. Welcome back. Let's explore how to apply this week's mantra in meaningful ways to your everyday life. Starting with a journal Practice and if you don't have your journal with you, if are driving, if you are cleaning, if you are at work, that is totally okay. Just take a moment to think about these prompts wherever you are. Okay, here are our journal prompts for the week to help you reflect and gain clarity on this week's mantra. I am a magnetic person. First, what energy do you believe you bring into a room? And is that energy what you want to bring into this space? Next, what qualities in yourself do you naturally downplay and what would it look like to instead bring them into the limelight? And finally, what is one small daily ritual or practice that helps you stay in alignment with your most magnetic self? And what would it look like to prioritize that in your life? Every week I also share a challenge inspired by our mantra to help you take what we do discuss and turn it into a real actionable thing in your life. I'd love to hear how it's going. You can reach out to me at Mantra openmind each month. I of course respond to your questions comments in our special bonus episode available exclusively on Open Mind plus. But this week your challenge is called the Quiet Magnetism Experiment. Pick one social interaction this week where you don't try to impress, entertain or prove anything. Instead, really practice presence. Just bring in your authentic self. Afterwards, just jot down how it felt. What did the experience reveal about your natural pull? Did you notice people responding to you differently? Was it in a more positive way? And as a reminder, you can also reach out to me at Mantra openmind to share how this challenge is working for you. I'm also going to say please, knowing that this works, write this mantra down on a piece of paper and put it behind your bedroom door, on your mirror, somewhere in your car, I don't care. Somewhere where you can see it every single day. I promise you this mantra is powerful if you continue to allow yourself to be drawn to it and make it part of your daily rituals and practices. All right, as we wrap up this week's episode, I want to share a few final thoughts about this mantra. I am a magnetic person. I really do believe that magnetism is not something that you can earn. It's not something that you have to prove. It comes from being authentic. And the reason that there are certain people who trust so hard and yet aren't magnetic is because these people don't understand that very basic premise. What we are really drawn to as humans is confidence, self assurance and someone who is comfortable in who they are. And how can you be comfortable in who you are if you're trying to be someone else? Really, what I need you to do is just trust your presence. Trust who you are at your core. Even if you feel like you need to dress it up with frills and with costumes or whatever else, people can see through that and they want you for you. If you bring your full, authentic self into a room, into an environment that creates the emotional environment for other people to do that as well, and that creates the safety and the calm that makes people so alluring. Who you are will always be enough. And it is the most powerful asset that you have in being magnetic. Thank you for joining Mantra, an exclusive Open Mind original powered by Pave Studios. At Open Mind we value your support so share your thoughts on social media and remember to rate, review and follow Mantra to help others discover the show for ad free listening and early access to Mantra with me, Gemma Spegg. We invite you to subscribe to Open Mind plus on Apple Podcasts. I will you show share another insightful and introspective Mantra with you next Monday. Until then, keep showing up for yourself and your journey. I'm Gemma Spaeg. See you next week. Mantra is hosted by me, Jemma Speg. It is an open mind original powered by Pave Studios. This episode was brought to life by the Incredible Mantra team, Max Cutler, Ron Shapiro, Stacy Warrenker, Sarah Camp and Paul Lieberskind. Thank you for listening.