What if the secret to a thriving marriage isn’t avoiding conflict… but learning to lean into it?

In this episode, Sharla and Robert explore NBA superstar Stephen Curry’s powerful marriage advice from his recent interview with Michelle Obama: “We don’t run away from the tension on the daily.” They unpack why this simple idea is backed by decades of research from John and Julie Gottman, Terry Real, and divorce lawyers — and why so many couples still resist it.

You’ll learn:

Why 69% of relationship problems are perpetual (and why that’s actually good news)
How the 5:1 positive-to-negative ratio works in real life — and what happens when it doesn’t over 5–10 years
The compounding effect of small, unaddressed negatives (and how it leads to “falling out of love slowly, then all at once”)
Practical ways to reframe tension, use soft startups, get underneath gridlocked issues, and repair quickly

Whether you’ve been married 5 years or 25, this episode will shift how you see conflict in your relationship.

Resources & Links Mentioned:

Michelle Obama’s IMO Podcast with Stephen & Ayesha Curry (full episode)
Medium Article: “Stephen Curry’s Best Marriage Advice Is Backed by Psychologists and Divorce Lawyers”
John & Julie Gottman – Fight Right
Terry Real – Relational Life Therapy
Our Repair Mini-Series (previous episodes)

Challenge This Week:

The next time tension rises, name it gently: “I’m noticing some tension here, and I want us to lean into it together. What’s going on for you?” Stay in the conversation, listen openly, and make a repair if needed.

Research Opportunity:

We’re in the early stages of developing a new marriage program and would love your input. If you’ve ever felt successful in your career but struggled to connect at home, Sharla would love to hear your story. This is purely for research — no sales pitch. Schedule a quick interview here

Call to Action:

If this episode resonated with you, please share it with a friend who needs to hear it. Leave us a rating and review on Apple Podcasts — it helps other couples find the show. And be sure to subscribe so you never miss an episode.

Until next time — choose each other, even in the tension.