← Matt and Shane's Secret Podcast
Matt and Shane's Secret Podcast
Ep 519 - Percs and Caicos (feat. Nate Marshall & Shawn Gardini)
01:10:39
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- [00:00]
A
Yeah, we're here, guys. What's going on?
- [00:03]
B
Chillin.
- [00:03]
A
Welcome to my Ponzi scheme of a podcast. I'm gonna start doing coaching.
- [00:09]
B
Coaching.
- [00:10]
A
Multi level coaching. $25,000. Yeah, dude, give me $25,000. I'll tell you how to build a million dollar.
- [00:17]
B
If I could be any of them people, I'd be a relationship coach. But just. I just feel like I got it.
- [00:21]
A
Twin flame expert.
- [00:22]
B
Yeah. I think I could do it just like, simple advice. Just.
- [00:27]
C
I do come to you when I need advice. I come to both of you when I need advice.
- [00:30]
B
Is it ever actually good? I be feeling like it's good and then I'll be like, ah. Actually ain't gonna work.
- [00:35]
C
No, yours is pretty good.
- [00:37]
B
Okay.
- [00:37]
C
You're good at keeping people off of simp mode.
- [00:40]
B
Yeah. That's what I try.
- [00:41]
C
You just n. Advice is always. Just don't answer her for like four days.
- [00:46]
B
It works.
- [00:46]
C
And it always works.
- [00:48]
B
It works.
- [00:48]
A
Yeah, Simp. Yeah.
- [00:49]
B
And Andy will tell this story a bunch. When he first met his wife, when they were first dating, he was telling. He was telling me a story about her like always. And he said on our podcast, isn't like a secret thing or anything is she would do this thing where she would like storm out his house and then he'd go out there after her and then he'd be like, come on, baby, don't leave. Blah, blah, and bring her back in. And then one time he was telling me that I was like, let her go next time. And she left and she drove. And he said like five minutes later, he gets a call from her. Just like, why didn't you come back for me? And it was like. He said it was like a turning point. Yeah.
- [01:24]
A
Flip the switch.
- [01:24]
B
Flip the switch.
- [01:25]
A
I've seen the suitcase a couple times myself.
- [01:29]
B
Oh, yeah. Yeah, we all. You're long enough. My last apartment.
- [01:34]
A
Those wheels, you're like, yeah. Damn it. Where the fuck she thinks she's going? Yeah, that's a. That is the best. It's weird how like, that kind of stuff can happen. Then two days later you're just like, what's up, dude?
- [01:44]
B
Yeah, that was. That was wild back then.
- [01:47]
A
It's amazing how hard it is to just like, keep that. Just two people in one house and without like, freaking out, especially when you.
- [01:53]
B
Have a little bit of space, like, you can. You can get away. Like you have a second bedroom or whatever. You have somewhere else to go. It's.
- [02:00]
A
It feels weird though. Did you ever hit the second bedroom? You lay. Yeah. Obviously you Just lay there and you're just kind of like, she'll come get me eventually. I do actually. I do the girl thing where I'm like, she'll come get me. It's not as comfortable as my bed. Where is she?
- [02:16]
C
I'm going to my room.
- [02:20]
B
Me and my girl did like five days in the opposite waltz. It was kind of long. Just Damn.
- [02:25]
A
Yeah, it's kind of boss.
- [02:27]
B
Yeah. And we didn't speak. And I was like, she spoke first. I did hold out. I was like, I can't speak cause I'm paranoid in my head. I was like, if I speak first, it's over cause of me. And it's like I don't wanna give her anything.
- [02:40]
A
You guys did like a vinyasa silent retreat.
- [02:42]
B
Yeah, it was like. It was like just walking, you know.
- [02:46]
A
In the kitchen, whatever it's called. Like vin.
- [02:49]
B
I just co sign like.
- [02:50]
A
Yeah, exactly. That's a sick move. Do you ever live with an ex? Yeah, that's a wild one. But. Or like when it's over. But you gotta still share the house.
- [03:01]
B
It kinda.
- [03:02]
A
It was because Berlin Wall situation.
- [03:04]
C
That sounds great.
- [03:06]
B
It was when I was real young. She was. This lady was like living with her mom. Like her parents like kind of kicked her out the crib. She was just staying with me in my parents house. And then we broke up and it.
- [03:15]
A
Was like you became brother and sister.
- [03:20]
B
It was only like two more weeks of it. Cause she was still.
- [03:23]
A
Hell, dude.
- [03:24]
B
Crazy long.
- [03:25]
A
I've done it. It's fucking hell.
- [03:27]
B
Were you still. Did you still like have sex at all?
- [03:30]
A
I don't think so. I don't think so. I honestly, I don't remember. I think I blacked out the memories of it. Yeah. I've done it multiple times. It's like literally the worst living conditions. You wake up and you're like. He's like, get out of the room as fast as you can. That's the thing too. I'm not sleeping on a couch. I refuse. I ref. I refuse. I'm sleeping in my bed. It's like, I like my bed. It's a comfortable bed.
- [03:53]
B
He still, still lay like head to head or you flip it. Old school. Guess.
- [03:59]
A
The resentment. 69.
- [04:00]
C
Platonic. 69.
- [04:04]
A
No, it's. Man, it's really tough though because if you think about how hard it is for two people to like get along very well over a long period of time. Like what hope is there for the world?
- [04:13]
B
Yeah. Like if we ever decide on world peace.
- [04:17]
A
It seems like. I mean it may be we'll just become, like, better equipped to do that. But seems pretty. A pretty tough thing.
- [04:24]
B
Yeah. It's not. I don't think it's possible because even.
- [04:26]
A
If they were, like. If, like, all the nations were like, we've actually agreed, we're all gonna stop fighting each other and agree to cooperate, I'd still be, like, kind of pissed and be like, fuck, yeah, fuck.
- [04:36]
B
I don't feel like fucking.
- [04:37]
A
Wait, I told you to stop bothering me.
- [04:43]
B
Oh, you miss specifically still with you and your lady? No matter.
- [04:46]
A
We might. I might drop the nuke.
- [04:49]
B
Dropping a nuke on my own house.
- [04:52]
A
It is fun, though. Over the years, something. It is like a. There's something too. I can't explain it, but there's something to. Like living with a woman for a long period of time.
- [04:59]
B
Yeah.
- [05:00]
A
Or, like, there is. I mean, there's stuff. It, like, just like, pulls stuff out of your brain and just, like, parts of your character and it does start to, like. It's like water just running over a stone. Eventually, I think, dudes. Oh, I fought it for the longest time.
- [05:11]
B
Yeah.
- [05:12]
A
But I think eventually you just become one of those, like, yep, she's the boss. Yeah.
- [05:17]
C
Happy wife.
- [05:19]
A
Yep. It's like, I was like, I'll never give into that. Lately, I've been kind of like, dude, that's too much, bro. You're giving her pants. I might just White knight simp it for the rest of my life. It says ultimate simp. When the dude finally taps out and he's like, yep, it's gotta keep her happy. She's the boss. And, you know, I have my little space I carve carved out.
- [05:38]
B
I don't. I don't think I've ever in my life seen the opposite at an old age. Like, a dude who's like, I still run this show. Yeah. It's not worth it. You know, it also looks.
- [05:50]
A
Or you just have to Deep state. True. You have to just become deep state within the household. Like, yeah, no, no. You're the president and this guy, like.
- [05:57]
B
Start tricking her, showing her your. Send her your. So the algorithm's the same. Like, oh, we all want to watch the wild little economic sabotage.
- [06:05]
A
I threatened that before. Like, I'll quit doing all this, dude. I'll go back to doing construction. No money. You'll see how you like that. Exactly. Total trade embargo. I threaten with that. I'll quit this right now, dude. I'll go back to being a laborer. 33 bucks an hour, dude.
- [06:27]
C
It's not.
- [06:28]
A
Probably down in Teas. But I have to move up back up. No. Yes, I might. Did I fantasize about picking up. Picking up the broom on multiple occasions. I'll go sweep dust on a construction site for $32.
- [06:39]
B
I couldn't do it here, though. I can't. I don't think I. I was built for it back home. Here I would.
- [06:44]
A
Here you got to dress like a fallout character. You got to have like a hat, face mask, and like long sleeves. I don't. I've seen dudes like in the long sleeves. That's like the new. That's the new swag now.
- [06:53]
C
That is the new swag.
- [06:54]
B
Just picture a dude just like. You ever played a game. You have all the different armor.
- [06:58]
A
None of it matches. That's what every landscaper out here looks like. Texas. It's like. Because the burn, it's full. Like, it's like. Yeah, exactly.
- [07:06]
C
Sun poisoning, dude. Can't even stop it.
- [07:09]
A
You think? I. It's a. It's a miracle I didn't get sun poisoning out in Turks and Cake.
- [07:13]
C
I know. I'm very curious about Quakers.
- [07:16]
B
Just came back from.
- [07:17]
A
Yeah, it was the. It was sick as fuck.
- [07:19]
C
I remember I got burnt to hell when I was like a young in there, bro.
- [07:23]
A
I don't know how I didn't, but it's like, I think melanin, I'm getting. I think I'm in like a melanated force field. I think I sort of got. Dude, there's no way I'm not getting cooked. Death. I don't know what it is. I also use black lady sunscreen.
- [07:36]
C
Oh, what's the difference?
- [07:38]
A
Well, because if it like the. The new stuff, that's like zinc it for the honkies. It just makes our face look like Braveheart, basically. It's just. You're just all white. Doesn't soak in that. Well. So they have like the black lady sunscreen where it just kind of like disappears on your face. You don't get hung up with that. And also, dude, Britney was. I was like, what's in that? Like, what's the ingredients? I'm like big on like reading it. Like, what is that? And like, what's in that stuff? And she. She's like, what? It's probably all the same good stuff you have in yours. You really think they put the bad stuff in black sunscreen? I was like, yeah, definitely did. Like, have you learned nothing? You should be reading this stuff. It's black lady sunscreen. If like, have you learned nothing from history? Like, of course they're gonna put the worst crack in the black lady sunscreen. There's probably AIDS in there. Might have to get test. I might get tested.
- [08:26]
B
Yeah, you might need it.
- [08:27]
A
I might call it. I might have called the bug from my black lady sun. It was just crazy. She got like mad at me. She was like, you really think that? And I was like, it's a possibility.
- [08:36]
B
I 100% think things that are like geared specifically towards black. Like I don't use cash app. Cause I'm like something with my money. If I use cash app, I stopped smoking. I gotta stop smoking. Yeah. No black and miles. I'm like, no, this is, this is. This is that. This can't be possibly good. Yeah, like things that are our thing.
- [08:56]
A
Yeah, well, dude, you know what? Speaking of. Well, kind of speaking of that. I saw a dude. So I was at Turks and Caicos and I saw a bartender rocking Yeezys and he was like, the, like a younger kid was there and it was like, it was like the. I saw a lot of this, like the prototypical horny teenage son at the resort, like maybe with their parents. But you just see this dude just like, like jacked, like 18 year old kids. Like, yeah, dude, I can finally drink. This is sick. He was chanting, the bartender, he's like, I love sneakers too. Oh, dude, I. And they're like going back and forth. And the bartender was kind of justifying his easy. Which is my favorite thing when people wear them and they're like, they're really comfortable, man. Like, these are real comfortable shoes. Like, oh, dude, they're fucking sick.
- [09:35]
B
Yeah, I've been there.
- [09:36]
A
Kanye. Here's. Here's my whole point. Kanye is a fashion designer. It wasn't that crazy to say he loved Hitler as a fashion designer. If you think about it, every great fashion designer has to say one unhinged thing. Tommy Hilfiger, Hugo Boss. I don't want black people wearing my stuff. Yeah, Hugo Boss, you know, he loved the Nazis. The dude from Lululemon Nuts.
- [09:56]
C
Oh yeah.
- [09:57]
A
He doesn't want fat ladies wearing his stuff. And also said he named it because when he goes to Asia, he like likes to watch people try to pronounce Lululemon. He said it makes him laugh.
- [10:05]
B
He might be the funniest guy.
- [10:08]
A
He's too funny. That's. That's kind of on. That's like on. That's kind of on brand for like fashion geniuses to be like, just for no reason to say the craziest thing.
- [10:17]
B
Wasn't Coco Chanel getting her like, cheeks clapped by Nazis regularly.
- [10:21]
C
That's right. Yeah.
- [10:22]
A
Coco Chanel.
- [10:22]
B
Yeah, the lady who started, she was like, just a whore for the Nazis.
- [10:27]
A
What? Where was she from?
- [10:29]
C
I don't know. Somewhere over there.
- [10:32]
A
Yeah.
- [10:32]
B
Not sure. Yeah, I fucked my mom by Italy. That makes sense.
- [10:37]
A
Damn, dude. She was getting crushed by the Nazis.
- [10:39]
C
Yeah, I'm surprised all the time. Yeah. Yeah, she. She was. She was MPs for show.
- [10:45]
A
She was fucking with Hans Gunther von Dinklage. Yeah. I mean, dude, it's crazy how much fashionistas love the Nazis.
- [10:53]
B
They did have the swag, though. Like, I mean, like, you know what I mean? No, it's nice.
- [10:57]
A
Exactly. It's 1910. You're like, damn, here's some alt, right? Bad boys. Trust me. I guess.
- [11:05]
B
Just all meth, fucking the shit out these ladies.
- [11:08]
A
They probably invented the pink cocaine maybe, dude. But yeah, so, I mean, I was in Turks and Caicos. Somehow my lips got fucking scorched. I'd wake up in the morning and my lips felt like they're like a water balloon about the break. They were just. It was crazy. So I still have water in my ear. Do we go down? Just got back like two days ago. Oh, dude, it's. Dude, it's actually. It was very sick. It's one of those places, unfortunately, that doesn't produce, like, anything really. Like, the Dominican Republic has to import everything, which kind of sucks. And you go to an island, you want the fresh fruit. They would joke about it, though. They'd be like, fresh from Walmart. But do we want it? We went out snorkeling, which I think might be my new passion. I think I love snorkeling now.
- [11:51]
C
Scared to snorkel.
- [11:52]
A
This is gonna you up.
- [11:53]
B
Did you go like, deep or you were still, like, when you snorkel, not scuba.
- [11:56]
A
Well, snorkeling, you can go under. You, like, you know, you just. You just hold the thing, you know?
- [12:01]
B
Yeah.
- [12:01]
A
Trying to say. The thing I'll say is you stick your tongue in the hole. Just kind of block it. I say you plug the hole. You gotta plug the hole with your tongue. And then you can go down and then you come up and just go. And then it just goes. And the water flies out the top. My dad showed me how to do that when I was little and I was so stoked to, like, show my how to do that. Dude, we go on a boat and we went snorkeling. And then right before we jump in, I have my Chloe, they have like little life jackets. So I jump in. The guy Was like, oh, yeah, there's some baby sharks in there. And I'm like, sick thinking there's going to be like, these teeny, tiny baby sharks.
- [12:30]
B
Yeah, dude.
- [12:31]
A
I get in the water, there's like five. And I'm not exaggerating, there was like five and a half foot sharks swimming around. They were like, probably 50, 60ft away.
- [12:38]
B
Yeah, that though.
- [12:39]
A
But then, like, they started coming over and, like, I'm like, floating on the surface and the water's probably 40ft deep. @ one point, they were right underneath me. I'm looking down, I'm like, dude, I like spaz and, like, put the kids out of the water. And he's like, oh, man, you'll be fine. Just don't touch them. Like, dude, I don't want to come anywhere near these.
- [12:55]
C
I would not go in the water.
- [12:57]
A
And I have little, teeny. I like little kids. I'm like, these guys, dude. The fear was, like, so intense because you're in there, and there was like, one there, one there, one there. And I'm just kind of looking around like, where's that? And they start kind of like coming near you. And it's like, not again. I'm not stealing shark valor, but they would come closer to you.
- [13:13]
C
I wouldn't even go close to that water.
- [13:15]
A
Well, I pulled them out, I put them out, and then I like, kind of, like, chilled for a second, went back in and kind of investigated, Investigated, and then they started to go away. So I brought them back in. They could like, see the sharks from. From afar. But I was kind of like, bro, like, what are you doing, man?
- [13:27]
C
Yeah, I would never do that.
- [13:29]
B
That sounds like some. That has accidents constantly, dude.
- [13:31]
A
I guess this guy was like, oh, dude, I'm telling you, you have nothing to worry about. Blah, blah, blah. And I was like, all right, man. And then like, later that night, the snorkeling was sick and we went to Iguana island, dude. I mean, the most iguanas I've ever seen, I got charged by two ago. They charge you, dude. In the wild, they. They like, run up at you and bucket you. It's crazy.
- [13:50]
B
What happens if you stand your ground?
- [13:51]
A
I stood my ground. Yeah, believe it, dude. They stop. They stop. They don't run away. They just look at you like, what the do you want? I had a couple. He had a couple of standoffs with iguanas, but yeah, but yeah, dude, it was. And then later that night, we get back from all that, and we went to, like, an outdoor, like, you know, when they Excel like purses and, like, got a big ass. Conchel. I know how to make the conch noise now. It's harder than you think, dude.
- [14:13]
B
That's the one that you always see in, like, the movie.
- [14:15]
A
Yeah. So we bought one of those off a guy, and the dude was like, he had a missing arm. And he goes, check this out. He lifted up his shirt, huge shark bite scar and a missing arm. And I'm like, this motherfucker. This guy earlier today, I was like, oh, don't worry about it, dude. This other guy's like, I lost my arm to a shark. I have a huge fucking. Literally a bite mark in his body.
- [14:34]
C
It's crazy.
- [14:35]
A
This guy could have got my fucking cheer and eaten up in the ocean.
- [14:39]
B
I wonder if he, like. Because is there like a thing where over there, they just like, another shark bite, sweep it under the rug. Like, if he just is kind of.
- [14:47]
A
I don't know, man. It's like. And I get what the guy was saying. He was like, he knows. Like, he scuba dives. He does all the shit. He's like, oh, they won't bother you. So I'm guessing he's like, kind of, right?
- [14:56]
B
Yeah.
- [14:57]
A
But also, it's like, bro, they were like, that's the closest. Imagine if a shark was 40ft beneath you and you just watched it swimming around it. Dude, it was sizable. Dude.
- [15:05]
B
Yeah, not.
- [15:06]
A
And if that's a baby, it's like, how big do the parents get? He was saying they get like 13ft. And I'm like, well, are they anywhere near him?
- [15:11]
B
Yeah, they got a bit.
- [15:13]
A
What are we doing, dude? Let me see some fish.
- [15:16]
B
Yeah, the fishy and the fish. Snorkeling is nice. I did a cruise in Mex and it stopped in Mexico for like five hours. Like how cruises do. And we got to snorkel and just see, like, colorful fish. And asses underwater just look a little bit more round. It was very. A nice combo.
- [15:32]
A
Penises look crazy. You ever been naked in a pool and you look down at your dick in a pool? Looks crazy. It looks crazy, man.
- [15:42]
B
I've never had, like, a pool situation where I could get naked.
- [15:45]
A
I've got naked in a pool during the day. Glance down, check out your bird. You're like, what the fuck?
- [15:50]
C
Like one of those things on the reefs, dude.
- [15:52]
A
It's total funhouse mirror. It looks like you have a dog dick. You look down, fuck is that? You're in the pool like a baby, naked. You're like, yeah, this is so freeing. You look down, you're like, oh my dude. Holy shit. Looks crazy.
- [16:07]
B
She's got. Take a peek at this thing.
- [16:09]
A
We did do the. They were at the place, they had a. They like a gym and then outside of it they had like an outdoor hot tub and a cold plunge. And that was very sick. Taking your wife into a cold plunge. It's so funny watching them. Like. Then I was in my boxers, I had my like my workout shorts. So I just like got my, my little skibby, my little sheath skibbies. So I was like, I was like getting into the. Out of the cold tub. I was like, yo, grab me a towel cuz we're outside. She just get in the hot tub. I was like, give me a towel. I towed up and then I got out of the hot tub and was just presenting, dude. I got out of the hot tub and stand there like, yo, dude, what a fucking town. What are you doing? Because we had a nice little moment. We're in the cold tub. I'm like, dude, that was so cool you did the cold tub. I didn't think you'd do it. And then we're in a hot tub. A little, you know, a little cuddling. Instantly became so engorged. I just got out of the hot tub. We're like outside. So I get out, I'm like, yeah, I'm gonna chill out here. So now. And I was like, why, man? What are you worried about?
- [17:03]
B
That was my body.
- [17:04]
A
That was my fate. Yeah, my body, my dress. That was. But dude, I came out of the cold pl. And I was just like, yo, bro, hide me. Don't look at me, hide me. I. I've said it before, but that is the worst when you're fighting with your babe and you're naked and you're all shriveled up, you got to walk by or like, you know you're wrong. You know you're wrong. Nipple. Cover your nipples.
- [17:30]
B
I'd never walk. You've walked out tenus mid fight.
- [17:34]
A
Yeah, man. Or like post fight. Oh, I walk into the wasteland, dude. And I just fucking walk out. Out of the shower. Teenage and be like, you know you're fucking wrong about that. I'm like, fuck yeah.
- [17:44]
B
I guess you can't pivot back to shower because then it looks like you're like being a cat. Not shower, a towel.
- [17:48]
A
Exactly.
- [17:49]
B
Like, you can't be like, look like, yeah, he's hiding his teeth from me because of what we just went through.
- [17:54]
A
Exactly. Yeah, you got, you gotta, yeah, you gotta, you gotta assert and just be like, yeah, what the Fuck. Say it's also baiting. I'm baiting. I'm like, say something. Say something about my teenage dude. I dare you. That's. That's over. Dude, if a baby hits you with some sort of tenis comment. So it's a rap blow for blah blah. Actually, I've gotten crushed before. I've got like. I've literally. I've come out of the shower and have her be like, oh, my God, it looks so cute. I'm like, yo, bro, shut the. Nothing cute about this.
- [18:22]
B
You ever been sitting in that way where it's like not. It's like. It's like in a little bit like, you know what I mean?
- [18:28]
A
Oh, yeah, I know.
- [18:29]
B
And it's just like. You see them glance at it. You just like, why? We were having a good conversation. Now derail. Because you fucking. I know you looked me.
- [18:38]
A
And when me and Brittany did Molly together, I. That shit gave me like Adderall penis. And we were having like the nicest beautiful heart to heart. And then like, I got up with craziest dude. It was. It was. You know, you have bowling pin dick in the shower or like it fucking. The hot water freaks it out. It's just like fat. Up top. I had a micro bowling pin team. It was weird. We both had a good chuckle about it. But I was like, bro, this is. This is bad. I might go to schools and just do B and just show them. Just. You guys want to. I love you kids so much. I feel so close to you. Want you to take like this. Don't want to take Molly. All right. You want to love your wife more than ever and have a tiny penis in the world for four hours. You think that's cool? Kids, look at this. I'm sweating my ass off. Doing. Doing Molly and giving like a presentation to kids would be so funny.
- [19:35]
C
I love you kids.
- [19:36]
A
I love you kids so much. I don't want you guys walking around with tiny bowling pin penises.
- [19:41]
B
I've never done mine. Doesn't make you want to touch, though.
- [19:44]
A
Yeah, it does.
- [19:45]
B
It like, so you gotta have somebody to keep you from getting too close to kids.
- [19:49]
C
Keep you on.
- [19:50]
B
Even though it's just strictly just. You don't want to be like.
- [19:53]
A
I'd have like a bungee belt. I'd have a bungee belt. Exactly. Yeah. It'd be nothing sexual, but yeah, you might be like, you little fucking angel.
- [19:58]
B
Yeah.
- [19:59]
A
We went to the.
- [20:00]
C
After you touched their cheek.
- [20:01]
A
Yeah.
- [20:02]
B
Just something that feels innocent in the moment. You see the. You see the.
- [20:06]
C
Did Even your innocence is beautiful to me as you touch the side of the.
- [20:10]
A
I'd have a. I'd have a bungee. I'd be like a kid on a leash. I would just get, like, yanked back, like, you know, sir, just walking. Cool. Come here. Hands tied down too, so your skin will never be this soft ever again. Yeah, it's. I've heard. Now, my brother has been telling me that the ultimate.
- [20:27]
B
What?
- [20:27]
A
People, whatever he said people should, with mdma, take it by themselves. You just lay in a room and just let it kick in and just vibe out.
- [20:36]
C
Lam dosed me the other day.
- [20:38]
B
He dosed you?
- [20:39]
C
No, but I. He just underestimated the power of the capsule he was giving me. And I think there might have been something. Something different in there than he was telling me.
- [20:49]
A
Yeah.
- [20:50]
C
Because he came from a concert and he was like, you guys want microdoses? And I was like, yeah, I was expecting a nice 0.7 gram of mushrooms. Mushroom yellow. As I was already on the brewskis, I was like, oh, nice. I'll take this and ride off.
- [21:03]
A
And it was just Molly.
- [21:04]
C
Instead, I was sweating like crazy and I was really thirsty and I was tripping my fucking balls off. After, like an hour. I was tripping like crazy.
- [21:13]
B
You just had like, one capsule.
- [21:15]
C
I had one little capsule. He was like, it's a microdose. And then I was like, yeah, you.
- [21:19]
B
Can only fit so much.
- [21:20]
C
I started shitting. I had the mushroom shits where I was just shitting weird. And I was like, I have to get out of here. And I left and I just sat in my garage until like, four in the morning and chain smoked.
- [21:30]
A
There's also. I actually. I might have fucked around and got addicted to nicotine, by the way. For real?
- [21:35]
B
How?
- [21:36]
A
Yeah, I mean, I'm fine. It's not bad. But I just was crushing cigars, dude. I can't stop smoking them. I was always like, I don't understand why people like nicotine. And then once you start getting a nicotine buzz, you're like, yeah, this is kind of the best feeling in the world. I get. I kind of get the hype around.
- [21:49]
B
This, especially with cigars. It's like that heavy nicotine buzz.
- [21:53]
A
Yeah, it kind of. And it is nice. It's really just kind of like. It's like the opposite of weed, where you're, like, confused from weed. It's the opposite. You get, like, completely sure, and you're like, man, this is great. Everything. And it's like, kind of subtle. You're like, everything's great.
- [22:06]
B
And you have that thing in your hand and, like, makes you more confident. Just like. I know this is sus a little bit, but you just, like, you hold a cigar. You're like, yeah, I know what I'm talking about.
- [22:17]
A
It is Tony Soprano mode. I like to smoke them while driving, and they just kind of like, dude, I might be the Tom Petty. I'm like, this is pretty great. I love this guy. This guy's great. It's not, like, very. It's very subtle. I've noticed. It's not like you don't get, like, whacked, but you're just kind of like, I'm a. I'm in a good mood. Yeah, I'm really not right now. I'm really into, like, tastefully deteriorating myself. Just that. Because I do a lot to, like, bolster my life force. But you also have a death force within your body as well.
- [22:44]
B
It's always good.
- [22:45]
A
Your body's trying to die as much as. As much as it's trying to live. So it's like you got to kind of honor the death force in you as well. So the body's, like, literally instinctively trying to return to inorganic material that it arose from. Just as hard as you're trying.
- [22:59]
C
Just as you tell me to quit smoking.
- [23:03]
A
No, now I'm addicted, dude. Now it's like, yeah, yeah, I get what you're doing. All of the cigs are another thing. And I know.
- [23:09]
C
Good.
- [23:09]
A
I'm curious to see if I actually will get addicted to nicotine. I know, like, cigars. It's probably harder to get addicted to them.
- [23:14]
B
It will happen to you, though. It happened to my older brother.
- [23:16]
A
It's happening. Yeah.
- [23:18]
B
Like, you're Joe. You, like, just Jones since you've been back.
- [23:22]
A
Well, it's like, I'll be like, yeah, I just don't like the taste of it the next day now, like, I'll wake up with that taste. And I'm like, yeah, it's not a big deal. I'm just becoming a man. But, yeah, I might. I might start. I might start having to honor that with just my. Some sort of slightly deleterious activities.
- [23:41]
B
That would be it. Cigars.
- [23:43]
A
Yeah. What? Maybe. Maybe just cigars. Maybe, you know, we'll see.
- [23:47]
B
Just start.
- [23:47]
A
Maybe I'll start choking myself while I beat. I don't know. I don't know. We'll see. I am going to get back on the microdosing regimen. That's something I decided.
- [23:55]
B
Well, let's get them from.
- [23:57]
A
I might microdose. I've microdosed LSD before. I didn't like it as much as mushrooms. It's too. It was, like, too strong and overbearing. Did you ever do it before?
- [24:05]
B
Never done an LSD at all. I. I have, like, one thing, but I don't know what it says. It's like. Says it's a microdose, but I don't know. Like, I just got it from someone.
- [24:14]
A
Are they, like, little capsules?
- [24:15]
B
It's not even a capsule. It's like a. Like a jolly. Not a Jolly Rancher. Like a. Like a Tootsie Lozo. But it's like that same kind of, like, texture as, like, a Tootsie Roll, but it's like a flavor, like a candy.
- [24:26]
C
Oh, cool.
- [24:27]
A
And it's supposedly a microdose of lsd.
- [24:28]
B
Yeah.
- [24:29]
A
Yeah. Where'd you get that from? You have a name? Name?
- [24:32]
B
Yeah, somebody. I was at the stand, so, like, a comic was like, yeah, take this.
- [24:37]
A
They're pretty chill. I mean, it's kind of nice. It's just. It's, like, strong, dude. It doesn't go away. Like, the mushroom microdose hits you, and there's like, two or three hours, but it kind of, like, subsides. The LSD microdose is just there for, like, eight hours, just bopping around. You're like, damn, my chest is vibrating still. This is weird.
- [24:52]
B
See? And I. I feel like LSD the first time I do it. I want to be around someone who's done it before, and I've never, like, yeah. Been in. So it'd just be me and my girl, and I'm like, now's the day, and I'm just freaking out. It's nothing worse than freaking out, having to be like, babe, help.
- [25:07]
A
I hit a Tootsie roll lace with 10 micrograms of LSD.
- [25:10]
C
You rub my back.
- [25:12]
A
Yeah, no, that's true. That's what I did. My brother was here, so I was just like, let's. I was like, let's just do it.
- [25:17]
B
Yeah. Y'all did the pot?
- [25:18]
A
Yeah, we did Manny's in the Mouth podcast. I did two podcasts that day. Yeah, they're great for podcasting.
- [25:24]
B
That makes sense.
- [25:24]
A
I would just talk, talk, talk, and all of a sudden, just stop and be like, all right.
- [25:29]
B
Is it visual when the micro dose of that.
- [25:31]
A
No, not at all. I think. I don't know. Maybe I. I feel like my brother told me it was 10 micrograms, but I'm like, dude, if this is a mic, I'm also a sensitive machine. So I'm like this. I was like. If I didn't feel like a micro. I was like, I feel kind of up all day.
- [25:44]
C
That's what happened when I did it. Easy dosed my ass again. No, there's that time I keep thinking about it.
- [25:50]
A
Yeah, you were tripping, dude. That's different. If you're like sweating and.
- [25:52]
C
Yeah.
- [25:53]
A
And stuff.
- [25:54]
B
How was he when you saw him?
- [25:55]
C
Perfectly fine.
- [25:56]
A
Yeah, but he champs it.
- [25:58]
B
Yeah, he does.
- [25:59]
C
And he's much larger than I am. Yeah, I was talking about that today. About the rv. We both. They're all on an RV on their way to Vegas right now.
- [26:07]
A
Who's in an rv?
- [26:09]
C
Lemaire, Andy, Pat George, and all the.
- [26:12]
A
Other bros where they copy the RV.
- [26:14]
B
From, like, granted it. Justin from Creek. He does like their podcast stuff. He rendered it and sick. A bunch of them just driving from here to Vegas. For skinks.
- [26:25]
C
It's about 10 big units in the RV.
- [26:27]
A
Yeah. I think it's gonna fucking explode.
- [26:29]
C
It's about to be stinky.
- [26:31]
A
Someone's gonna go to a lighted joint. It's gonna just a fart fumes.
- [26:34]
B
I feel like the slimmest person in it is besides Justin is Andy. Like, that's the crew that's in that car.
- [26:42]
A
It's just big dogs.
- [26:44]
C
They're mad at us for not going on the big dog.
- [26:46]
A
Yeah.
- [26:47]
C
I be on 22 laps day of. Dude.
- [26:50]
A
She got an open air horse trailer. The mayor's head ha it out.
- [26:58]
B
That's basically what that thing is right now.
- [27:01]
A
Just a. There's a layer of manure on the bottom. Damn. I didn't know they're in the RV right now.
- [27:07]
B
Yo, it has to smell crazy. They're stopping for like barbecue and all.
- [27:10]
A
Yeah, they're going in the desert too. It's going to stink.
- [27:13]
C
They were mad at us for not going.
- [27:15]
B
Yeah.
- [27:16]
C
And I do not regret the decision.
- [27:17]
B
I heard from them since they left Andy, and lam definitely pissed at me. They're like, we're recording without you while we're doing this. But I had to bail.
- [27:26]
A
Yeah, that's a. That's a stanked up rv. That is a super stanked rv. It's gonna be like every White Castle is gonna stop that. Nobody's gonna sleep.
- [27:38]
B
Everybody.
- [27:38]
A
I guarantee nobody brought water.
- [27:40]
B
No one thought about water. It's a bunch of weed, some booze. That's it. All that. Maybe some shrooms.
- [27:47]
A
That's got to be kind of fun though, honestly.
- [27:49]
B
Yeah.
- [27:50]
A
Once you get acclimated, it's gonna smell like a mushroom farm. Once you get acclimated smell. You're like, what? Smells fine. Damn. Oh, yeah, you got. Yeah. Skunk fest.
- [27:58]
C
We got Skunk fest.
- [27:59]
A
Yeah, it's gonna be sick.
- [28:01]
C
Yeah, I'm excited.
- [28:02]
A
Damn. You guys are gonna be so high on drugs there. You're gonna get.
- [28:07]
C
Yeah, I do get covered every single time.
- [28:09]
B
Every time you leave skanks. Yeah, well, I'm only going. I've only done it the once, but ruin.
- [28:14]
C
When I got back past three, I've gotten covered.
- [28:16]
A
Do you really?
- [28:17]
C
Yep. And I'm probably gonna get it again.
- [28:19]
A
Are you gonna do a bunch of drugs when you get down there? So you're gonna take it.
- [28:21]
C
I'm gonna try to take it ease.
- [28:22]
B
But you know me, it's going to be impossible.
- [28:25]
C
The party never ends.
- [28:26]
A
I don't find it like, dude, like, everyone's like, I'm gonna do acid down there. I'm like, no way, dude.
- [28:31]
C
Yeah, it's scary. And I. Yeah, yeah, dude.
- [28:33]
A
After like the 40th, dude, like sweating his nuts off in cargo shorts in the desert, being like, that's. Which is fine. But when you run my mushrooms, the last thing I want to do is like, talk to anybody.
- [28:42]
B
Yeah.
- [28:43]
A
So I'm like tripping on mushrooms and dudes are like, coming up in my face. I'd be like, I have to go back and you go back. Yeah. Vegas is like, man, sick. It's a sick thing they put together. I just. The vibe in Vegas, man, is a city I don't like at all.
- [28:54]
B
Certain times especially that area can be real sad. Like once you get up because you. You're up till 5am and then that, that like, little area gets. It gets dark.
- [29:02]
C
Yeah, super dark.
- [29:03]
A
Well, there's nothing there for me. It's only. It's just literally vice. And I'm like, dude, I can't partake in anything if you don't do, like, if you don't partake in vice and you go to Vegas, you're just like, this sucks.
- [29:14]
C
You could just go smoke cigars, though. I could smoke cigars, light up stogies.
- [29:18]
A
I could light up cigars. I mean, dude, there's so. It is something so kind of gay and cornballish about smoking cigars, but I can't help it. I genuinely love them. I'm a gay cornball.
- [29:27]
B
Yeah, I think it's.
- [29:28]
A
I know there's. There's something kind of cornballish about cigar culture. It's like, yeah, dude, it can be.
- [29:33]
C
Yeah, yeah.
- [29:33]
A
I love lighting up a stick, dude, tell me not to Light up a stick. But I'm like, you hear about Ulysses grant smoking, like, 50 cigars a day, and you're like, yeah, that's cool. I don't want to do that.
- [29:43]
C
Wolverine likes them, too. I've been watching X Men.
- [29:45]
A
Hugh Jackman loves them.
- [29:46]
C
Yeah. No, just Wolverine.
- [29:47]
A
Just Wolverine.
- [29:48]
C
Yeah.
- [29:48]
A
Hugh Jackman does like musicals and.
- [29:51]
C
Really?
- [29:51]
A
Yeah, dude.
- [29:52]
B
He's, like, been on Broadway for a while now, right?
- [29:54]
A
Yeah, bro. I forget.
- [29:55]
B
What was the play he was doing? I don't remember, but I just.
- [29:58]
C
I don't know.
- [29:59]
A
I don't know what the play he was in.
- [30:00]
C
Wolverine.
- [30:01]
A
I think he was in a. I don't know. I heard the Deadpool Wolverine flops.
- [30:07]
B
I heard it was really good, though.
- [30:09]
A
What was he in?
- [30:11]
B
Hey, there he is, bro.
- [30:14]
A
Yeah, dude, that's the. Bro, that's Wolverine, man.
- [30:16]
B
He's an actor. He's an artist.
- [30:18]
A
He's a true thespian. I mean, dude, I could see if you're a Broadway. If you're a Broadway performer, that's. Yeah, I thought he was in, like, the Sound of Music or something. If you're a Broadway performer, I could see, like, that. Not scratching your itch, being. He probably does Wolverine, like.
- [30:29]
B
Oh, there's no pageantry.
- [30:32]
A
This beastly movie.
- [30:36]
C
Barbaric Wolverine is the best.
- [30:40]
A
I do like extending my claws, though. Yeah, I'm not. That is fun. Wolverine was the guy. When you were, like, little kids, you're like, all right, let's play X Men. Your boy. I'm Wolverine. You're like, dude, I quit. What the am I supposed to do?
- [30:53]
C
I did, like, Cyclops, dude. Cyclops rules.
- [30:55]
B
I.
- [30:56]
A
My friend would try to make me be Cyclops, and I'd be like, no, thank you. I thought he was a dork compared to Wolverine.
- [31:02]
B
Chet Hanks is the man. Now.
- [31:03]
A
Chet Hanks was.
- [31:05]
B
No. Just Gambit. Gambit is Chad.
- [31:06]
C
That's not.
- [31:07]
B
No, not actually. But he was. He was like a dude who taught. Like, he talked like a Jamaican dude.
- [31:12]
C
No. Yeah, sort of.
- [31:13]
B
That's what I mean, like, as a. As a person.
- [31:15]
A
Like, did he really.
- [31:16]
B
Yeah, his whole thing.
- [31:17]
C
He's like a Louisiana guy.
- [31:19]
B
Yeah.
- [31:20]
C
Bayou guy. Remy Leo.
- [31:23]
A
Yeah.
- [31:23]
C
The G. The Gambit.
- [31:25]
B
I always just thought it was a white dude. Sounded black.
- [31:27]
A
Never heard. I never heard the man.
- [31:28]
C
No, it's Cajun.
- [31:29]
B
Yeah, true.
- [31:30]
A
I was. I heard a little Creole. There's some Creole going on in Turks and Caicos. They also got the. What, Haitians speak French or. They speak. Do they speak a little Creole?
- [31:38]
B
I think they speak a lot of.
- [31:39]
C
French Creole is French and like.
- [31:42]
A
Yeah, it's like mumbling French, basically, yeah. Does Blue Chew work? If you're asking that question, we want you to know that Blue Chew is putting their money where their mouth is by giving you a month free. BlueChew is an online service that delivers the same active ingredients as Viagra, Cialis and Levitra, but at a fraction of the cost and in a chewable form. The process is simple. Sign up@bluechew.com, consult with one of their licensed medical providers, and once you're approved, you'll receive your prescription within days. Bluechew tablets are made in the USA and prepared and shipped directly to your door. The best part? It's all done online. That means no visits to the doctor's office, no awkward conversations, and no waiting in line at the pharmacy. You can take them any time, day or night. So you can plan ahead or be ready whenever an opportunity arises. I mean, God damn, dude, who doesn't want a hard ass fucking boner? Bluechew wants men rock hard. They told me that's the mission. They will not stop until every man is bricked up like a brick house. Till every 10 is pitched, till every rod is raised. Discover your options@bluechew.com and we've got a special deal for our listeners. Try BlueChew free when you use our promo code drenched at checkout. Just pay $5 for shipping. That's bluechew.com promo code drenched to receive your first month free. Visit bluechew.com for more details and important safety information. And we thank BlueChew for sponsoring the podcast. Prizepix is America's number one daily fantasy sports app. With over 5 million active members, Prizepix is the easiest and most exciting way to play daily fantasy sports. Unlike other apps, on Prizepix, it's just you against the numbers. All you do is pick more or less on 2 to 6 player stat projections and watch the winnings roll in. You can now win up to 100 times your money on Prize Picks. With as little as four correct picks, prizepix is the best way to get action on sports. In most states, including California, Texas and Georgia, Prizepix puts their members first, so all withdrawals are fast, safe and secure. When my picks hit, I can get my money in as quick as 15 minutes. Prize picks invented the Flex play, which means you can still cash out even if your lineup isn't perfect. You can double your money even if one of your picks doesn't hit. Man, that sounds great. Download the Prize Picks app today and use Code drenched to get 50 off when you play $5. That's code drenched on prize picks to get 50 instantly when you play $5. You don't even need to win to receive the 50 bonus. It's guaranteed. Prize Picks. Run your game. This episode is brought to you by BetterHelp. What's something you'd love to learn as an adult? Do you still make time to learn new things as often as you'd like? Or was that lost in childhood? Kids are always learning and growing, but as adults, sometimes we lose that curiosity. What's something you'd like to learn? Gardening? A new language? Or maybe how to finally beat your best friend in bowling. Therapy can help you reconnect with your sense of wonder because you're back to school era quote can come at any age. I mean, what a great thing to do, dude. Whoop your friend's ass in bowling. Didn't show him who's the boss. Just really discover your personal center. Just watch him lose. You can feel better than your friend. If you want to feel better than your friend at bowling, I advise you to go to therapy now. That'll fix your problems. If you're starting if you're thinking of starting therapy, give better help a try. It's entirely online, designed to be convenient, flexible, and suited to your schedule. Just fill out a brief questionnaire to get matched with a licensed therapist and switch therapist at any time for no additional charge. Rediscover your curiosity with BetterHelp. Visit betterhelp.commssp today to get 10% off your first month. That's BetterHelp. H E L p.commssp let's get back to the show. But yeah, dude, I man dude, those because Turks and Caicos is right near Haiti. It's right near Dominican Republic. Dominican Republic and Haiti are on one island, I think.
- [35:31]
B
Yeah, bro.
- [35:32]
A
Every time I've been to like a resort Dominican Republic and now Turks and Caicos. You see the Haitian bros and they're like scary, man. Like for real. Like I'm not like obviously if it's like you really second generation or whatever. Like the dudes that come because they're coming from fucking hell, dude.
- [35:46]
B
Yeah.
- [35:46]
A
Place. It's like a fallen state. You like see like it's the riz necessary to live on an island is crazy, dude. Everyone you see is just like Riz on 40. Bump into a Haitian guy and they just kind of just like stare at you like they'll be like sitting on a pallet and you're like, hey, man, what's up? And they're like, oh, my bad, bro.
- [36:04]
B
Just thinking about cutting.
- [36:05]
A
I'm just trying to practice my wrist, dude. I'm just trying to big up you just staring at me with cat eyes. And I'm like, yo, bro, my bad. Back to sweeping up rocks in 110 degrees. I guess I'm gonna go have a sugary drink. It is sad, dude. The place didn't let people tip either, huh? It didn't let people tip at that resort. It was against the rules. You couldn't tip, so you had to, like. If you did it, I wouldn't want to incriminate anybody of the force there. If you did it, you had to do it, like, super lucky. It was like a drug deal. You had to, like, hide it under a plate and be like, yo, I. I little something under the plate. And they have to, like, take because there's, like, cameras, and if they're. If they're caught taking tips, they get fired.
- [36:44]
B
That's crazy.
- [36:45]
A
Yeah, bro. I don't understand. Well, I mean, I. The only thing I can think of is, like, I guess you don't want them, like, hounding people for tips. Yeah, I don't think people would, dude.
- [36:53]
B
I mean, that's the move. Just say, don't hound them. But if you get one. Yeah.
- [36:56]
A
If you're ever annoying and people complain, but it's like, dude, if they. If the people. I heard. Again, I don't want to slander the place, but I. Someone is trying to tell me they pay them $7 an hour. And Turks and Caicos is USD, and I looked it up. Yeah, dude. And eggs are $8 a dozen there. If you're getting. If you're for real, which I. Dude, I'm like, is it really seven bucks an hour? That's crazy.
- [37:18]
B
Devastating.
- [37:19]
A
And it's fucking so hot, dude. It was 93 degrees, 75% humidity every day with, like, a glaring tropical sun.
- [37:27]
B
You're just not allowed to dip in the pool or.
- [37:30]
A
Hell, no, dude. If you caught in the polo.
- [37:32]
C
Polo and slack.
- [37:33]
A
It's bro. Yeah, it's like. It's like a polo and slacks. Or like a fucking, like, wedding. Like a vest and, like, dress pants, and it's so hot. And then they're like. You couldn't slip the bro, like, five, ten bucks after the. You kind of, like, put it onto the plate, which, you know, again, I want to get anyone in trouble. Maybe I slipped a couple of Lincolns around.
- [37:50]
B
But.
- [37:52]
A
It'S fucking bullshit, though, and it's like, dude, if everyone gave them like $2, it's crazy.
- [37:57]
C
They could leave the.
- [37:58]
A
That's the other thing too. They probably want to trap them in. Once they get that tip money, they might be like, man, sweating in this.
- [38:04]
B
Yeah, just save just your tips for like a year. Get out of there.
- [38:07]
A
But then it's like, where you going to go? There's like, it's tourism that's the main export or whatever it is. But it's like, I looked it up. Turks and Caicos is a collection of 40 islands too. I didn't know this. That was one place. It's 40. One of them's Iguana island, which I'm like, if you're counting that one, it's kind of. It's literally just. Nobody lives there. Just iguana iguanas. And you just get out. You're like, yeah, this is pretty sick.
- [38:28]
C
I wonder if all the iguanas went there or they moved all the iguanas there. I feel like it's. They moved all the iguanas there out of the hotel.
- [38:35]
B
Just let them roll out.
- [38:37]
C
They're just like, let's give the iguanas this island so they don't bother all the hotel people.
- [38:42]
A
I don't know, but they had a big stray cat problem. You'd be on the resort and there'd be these stray cats.
- [38:46]
C
Call the Haitians.
- [38:50]
A
True. Kind of just proves the theory.
- [38:52]
C
Yeah.
- [38:52]
A
Because there was a lot, dude, there was many stray cats. And you would see like, like, you would see like people's kids just like start petting them at dinner. And I was like, yo, bro. Like, they're like mangy, mangy cats. He looks crazy looking. Yeah.
- [39:05]
C
Do you feel bad for him, though?
- [39:07]
A
Yeah, that was, that. That was. I forgive him. My wife made a terrible racist remark because my daughter was like, I want to pet the cats. And my daughter was like, yeah, she. Why can they do it? My wife was like, because they're white. People say, hey, Britney. All right, knock it off. And I was like, kind of on point though. It was like, it would just be like these white kids just grabbing these like flea ridden cats.
- [39:29]
C
That's probably something I would do too. If I was a kid. My mom would yell at me about.
- [39:33]
A
It, but I, I was sneaking up some fish. I would like, I get a little meat off my plate and toss it down. And I was doing it on the low and Brittany was like, she was so don't feed.
- [39:41]
B
Because they just started coming over.
- [39:42]
C
Don't feed the cats.
- [39:43]
A
Don't tip the Weight.
- [39:48]
B
Yeah.
- [39:48]
A
You couldn't do anything. Can I do anything nice here? No. So I stuff my fat face and.
- [39:53]
C
Sit in the lady.
- [39:54]
B
The full experience of like, yes. I have people serving me.
- [39:58]
A
Yeah, yeah. True lordship.
- [40:00]
B
Yeah. Yeah.
- [40:01]
A
I should get more into that might be nice. Yes. And leave me immediately. Yeah, it's. It was sick though, man. It's like I. I just, like. I got down there, I was like, I'm not gonna drink any of these sugary drinks. I was crushing, bro. Pina coladas. I had a Bahama Mama, a muds. I had a mudslide, dude. Oh, I never cried. I had a mug. She wanted it so bad.
- [40:22]
B
You can't have it, but it's like a milkshake, right? Like alcohol.
- [40:26]
A
I even tell. There's even alcohol. It was so good.
- [40:29]
C
You get her the virgin drinks. That's what I just used to want when I was a kid. I used to need the virgin Shirley temples or the virgin pina colada.
- [40:37]
B
Virgin strawberry daiquiri.
- [40:38]
C
Yeah.
- [40:38]
A
I was giving her the virgin pina coladas. I would hit the kids with them. They would just lose their minds. They're so good.
- [40:45]
B
Yeah.
- [40:45]
A
I only got one good sesh of a pool bar, and it was. I mean, it was everything I wanted.
- [40:49]
C
It.
- [40:50]
A
It was.
- [40:50]
C
Pool bar is awesome.
- [40:51]
A
Oh, my God, dude. I was just. Every day, I would just kind of Crush, like, these 5 milligram edibles. I had these little mints that. It started Caicos authorities. I did smuggle them into your country, you know.
- [41:01]
C
They're gonna be so mad at you.
- [41:08]
A
Come get me, man. Yeah.
- [41:11]
B
You go back in a year, they're like, we heard what you did.
- [41:14]
A
We know what you did. No, they. They were chill. They didn't give a. But apparently, it's like, you can't have like, cbd. You can't have anything there. They say, I don't know if that's just to kind of like, jam you up, but, you know, I'm not. Look, I'm not going to get into it. They didn't really check anything, thank God.
- [41:26]
C
But it's not an island vibe.
- [41:29]
A
It's kind of lame. They're like that against the G. But they also. Again, I'm not telling anyone to bring weed into Turks and Caos. But it's pretty easy if you really want to.
- [41:39]
C
But I have no idea what it is. Certain people.
- [41:42]
A
Yeah. I mean, dude, my. My was just too. It was their mints. So I had this little mince. I had, you know, whatever you can switched up. It was what it's A simple.
- [41:48]
B
You wouldn't bring flour in there, would you? That seems terrifying.
- [41:51]
C
I would be too scared.
- [41:52]
B
I'd be shook.
- [41:53]
A
There was some flour there. I won't get into it. Yeah, Maybe someone else. I don't know. I don't know what happened. I tossed it in the frozen suitcase. Why are you smoking weed again? God damn it.
- [42:10]
B
Knock it off, dude.
- [42:11]
A
But yeah, it was sick, man. I would just crush these little 5 milligram mint edibles.
- [42:16]
C
That's nice.
- [42:16]
A
Smoke stogies all day. And his just every meal, just pound like peanut clott as it was. It was literally. I was absolutely in heaven.
- [42:23]
C
Hell yeah.
- [42:24]
A
Until I got back and had a. Dude, I had a. For real. It was. I haven't spazzed this hard in public in a long time. But I almost got in a fight with an African dude in customs on the way back and he was trapped. We're both fellow travelers. He wasn't working there. We were like. You know when you're traveling and like. So like when you go through customs, you gotta like, you go through customs coming off the flight and then you gotta reclaim your luggage and then put your luggage back through the TSA security. It's so annoying. Yeah, but so we do that. So we're like, I'm with Britney, you know, we're like, kind of broken. I was like, brittany and Chloe. Chloe's in the stroller. I have Maya with me. And I'm like, try. I have like a ton of suitcases. I'm trying to bring up in this like, African dude.
- [42:59]
C
He's pretty.
- [42:59]
A
He was like, old too. The guy's probably his 50s. Like, cuts in between us and then starts like pressuring, like kind of like push in front of Britney. And she's obviously not for that kind of stuff. She turns around like, bro, are you like, what are you doing? I'm like, whatever, man. It's fine. We get our bags on.
- [43:14]
B
Yeah.
- [43:15]
A
I'm like, that shit's so annoying. Then we get. The line was just like, we put your bags in a little machine and then you got to go to another line to get through, like some other fucking tsa. And the guy like. So we're standing there and I'm like, behind Brittany. And the guy starts doing this like side assault where he's trying to. Because there wasn't like a demarked line. It was just like a mob of people, like slowly funneling into like a one person line. So he starts doing that where he's like oozing past her and he bumps the stroller. And Brittany's like, yo, sir, if you could not, like, bump into my kid again. You already did it back there. If you could not do that, that'd be great. And the dude was like, shut the African spaz. And it's like, you know, like, Brittany was like, yeah, I guess. Like, you know, if you're from Africa, like, some lady starts mouthing off. I get like, it's short circuited. He blew a lid, dude. I. I. For real thing, he, like, he was.
- [44:00]
B
Waiting for you to grab her.
- [44:01]
A
He didn't know we were together. I was like, kind of a person behind her because I was like, you.
- [44:05]
B
Know, we probably just thought it was a solo lady thought it was a.
- [44:08]
A
Solo single mother, probably. He's probably disgusted, bro.
- [44:10]
B
Yeah.
- [44:11]
A
So she was like, sir. And she, like, she. She obviously is no stranger for conflict. So she was just like, yo, sir, if you cannot do that, that'd be great. You're literally bumping into my kid. And he was like, shut the open. And he, like, just started spazzing out. And I'm like. And then, like, I'm like, yo, bro. Then, like, the. The guy, the TSA agent, was like, yo, dude, what the are you doing, man? Relax. Like, what are you. Like, it's not worth it, man. Don't go, you know, Let the. He's like, go ahead. Get the out of here. Like, come on, man. When he's like, I'm a father. He starts spazzing out. So I'm just sitting there, and the guy's like, yo, man, it's not worth it, man. It's nothing, you know, nothing. Go to jail over. I'm like, yeah, yeah, for sure. And as soon as we, like, get in line next to each other, I'm like, what the is your problem? And he, like, said something, and I like, scream, spaz. And like, cuz we're. You know, when you're in a line, it like, snakes from here, it goes like, boom, boom, boom, boom.
- [44:54]
B
Yeah.
- [44:55]
A
So he was on one side of the divider, I was on the other side. And I, like, leaned over. I was like, I'm gonna you up. I, like, blacked out because he said something to me. Because I was like, dude, could you frill, like, chill the out?
- [45:05]
B
Yeah.
- [45:06]
A
And then he said something to me, and I just blacked out. And I was like. And I leaned over the thing. I was like, I'll you up right now. And he just was like, what the. Because then he put it together. He's like, oh, I didn't. He's I didn't. I guess he didn't realize, like, we were together. And then.
- [45:17]
B
So he thought you were just out of nowhere, beat the.
- [45:21]
A
Out of you. I'm like, dude, I'm flying with kids. I'm like, yeah, whacked on caffeine. It was just this guy. It was just like, bro, that's. He caught the wrath, dude. It was. And I felt bad. I instantly. I felt real, like, embarrassed. I was like, oh, that was kind of ugly. And then. And then, like, he was. There was another black. There was, like, a black dude in front of him. American black dude. And then they were, like, close together. And the dude, like, the other guy looked back at me kind of like, yeah, like, it's all good. And I was like, dude, I'm sorry. I didn't. He's like, I don't know this guy. And then I started thinking he might have been kind of slow. I was like, bro, I think he might be kind of, like, autistic or something. But I then, like, I got. And I was like, no, this guy's just a. We for real. Almost fought in the airport. If he had, like, lunge forward, we would have fought dud. I was ready to go to jail, guys. You don't want to go to jail. I'm like, yeah, you're right, dude. You're right. And I went up. I was like, you. I'll you up. This was in Miami airport. I was in Miami. You know how I get 305, right? I. For real. I haven't spaz like that. It was bad. And then we all had to just all stand in line for, like, 30 minutes. Like, it was bad. I apologize to the people in line at the Miami airport. It wasn't my best showing. I feel like the American black people in line were tickled about the whole. They were. They got one dude just kept. Every time he see me just start. We would, like, meet again in line. He'd be like, bro, you look at this guy, but go, that guy. Yeah, it was bad. People had to be. There was. People were kind of, like, giggling to themselves about it because we all had to stand together for literally 30 more minutes. And then me and him, would it come. We would, like, look at each other again across the divider, because the lines would match up again, and he'd be like. So he was starting saying something like, bro, it's fine, man. It's already squashed, bro. Beef squash. Just let it go. He kind of bitched. I'm like, you bitched out, man. It's fine.
- [46:57]
C
I would. It's just beeps over at 1. I literally won. Stop talking about it.
- [47:04]
A
Yeah, dude. Basically. I basically beat your ass. I'm very happy. Honestly though, he did do anything because I would have went to jail. Yeah. If I get a certain level of angry, I'm not. I'm not like a big badass. I'll literally black out and I just lose sense of everything going on. The guy could have like beat my ass.
- [47:22]
B
How? He was like big.
- [47:23]
A
It was like. It's like a short African king. He's like a stocky.
- [47:27]
B
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
- [47:28]
A
Bald. He was also bit of an elder, though. He's a bit of an elder.
- [47:31]
C
So, you know, jeans, polo, sandals.
- [47:33]
A
Pretty much. Pretty much.
- [47:36]
C
I'm picking up what you're putting down. I got a be a perfect mental image of this.
- [47:41]
B
Yeah. But now I think about. You don't want to fight that guy though.
- [47:44]
A
Exactly. I don't know. I could have killed me. I don't know what the hell that guy, you know, he could have hit me with some like African wrestling, dude.
- [47:49]
C
Yeah.
- [47:50]
A
So he could have blow sand in your eyes. Yeah, yeah. It was the closest I've come to fighting an old African man. And hopefully that's the closest I ever come. Cuz that was. That was. It was just not a good look for anybody involved. A glass barrier. He literally in front of the whole crowd was like, you to my wife. And I was like, bro, I can't let that ride, bro.
- [48:10]
B
Especially with the kids there. Like, they can't have that memory.
- [48:13]
A
Kids were there, bro. I was like, can't. It was just instinctual, dude. It was funny too, for the guy to be like, yo, bro, just let it go. Don't worry. I'm like, oh, yeah, dude, for sure. I'm already over it. You like, classic kid in high school.
- [48:24]
B
Like, I don't even care anymore.
- [48:29]
C
He started it. I'm not even.
- [48:31]
A
He did start it. And then we got out of line. You. You, dude, it was bad. And then I like inched over to his side of the thing and he kind of was like, what the is going on? Why is this white man so mad.
- [48:44]
B
At me right now? He just did nothing in his mind. He did nothing wrong. Five minutes ago. He just put a woman in her place. Yeah, yeah.
- [48:52]
C
He does that once a day. He tells a woman to shut the up. At least.
- [48:58]
A
Will you shut the up? Yeah. I can't do his voice. I'm on island.
- [49:01]
C
He was doing your job for you.
- [49:05]
A
He was like, don't raise your voice. To me, he had a woman raising his voice, raising her voice to him in public, and he just fucking. He. He snapped.
- [49:11]
B
Yeah.
- [49:12]
A
And then it's like. I was like, bro, I can't. I just can't let it ride.
- [49:14]
B
We should all have a little more of that in us.
- [49:16]
C
Yeah.
- [49:16]
B
He's really just a woman raising her voice. Shut the fuck up, bitch.
- [49:21]
C
I mean, the mayor was on the other day, too.
- [49:23]
A
Was he really?
- [49:24]
C
No, we should. Never mind.
- [49:27]
A
Yeah, yeah.
- [49:28]
C
We already covered it.
- [49:30]
A
Bases.
- [49:31]
B
Oh, very.
- [49:31]
A
One of the mayor's many hot takes.
- [49:33]
C
Dude, it was so funny.
- [49:34]
A
It was. It was actually very funny. His thing about how he loves. What did he say he loves?
- [49:39]
C
He loves video games, and he breaks controllers all the time.
- [49:42]
A
So he's like, it makes sense.
- [49:43]
C
If you love a woman, why wouldn't you. Funniest thing ever. Le also is cracking me up. The other day, remember when he was like, I don't want to be autistic. Everyone wants to be autistic, and I don't want to, but I am.
- [50:00]
A
Yeah. He can claim he's. Yeah. A lot of people are out here posing in autism. Lamar's genuine secret sauce.
- [50:06]
C
Genuine article.
- [50:07]
A
It's got the secret sauce. Yeah. You can try to attack the lair, man. It's like, bro, I think it was.
- [50:12]
B
Since we were down. Was it since we were down here when he was, like, had the realization. I remember being with him when he was like, I'm. I'm autistic. Like, he, like. And this was. Couldn't have been more than a year ago where he just. It, like, for real hit him. Like, I'm actually autistic, aren't I? It was like, wait, you just, like, you just putting that together, bruh?
- [50:32]
A
Yeah, man. You have fucking wrestling figures in your room. Of course you are.
- [50:37]
B
Like, he. He knows, like, deep cut characters of everything he's into. It's. It was so funny watching him be like, I'm autistic and everybody. I think it was like, me, you. I think we're at the stand. It was like, me, you, Allie, being like, bro, I don't think you remember this. You don't look like you remember.
- [50:55]
C
Probably not. No.
- [50:56]
A
But you're fucked up.
- [50:57]
C
I might have been. He might have dosed me.
- [51:01]
A
Yeah, he's. Yeah, he's. For sure. He's kind of autistic.
- [51:03]
C
I vaguely remember this. He's the king of noticing things so long after everyone else has noticed them.
- [51:10]
B
Yeah.
- [51:11]
C
And that's just another prime example. I forget some other ones. He said to me, and you before where he'll just notice something that everyone's been talking about for months and be.
- [51:24]
A
Like, I mean, dude, he might have the wildest takes. Every take he spits. I'll be like, dude, you want to. You want to maybe rescind that right now? You want me to delete that? That's the craziest shit I've ever heard in my life.
- [51:37]
B
He'll be like, no.
- [51:38]
A
I do kind of admire that though, how he will die on the weirdest hills.
- [51:42]
B
But he'll change his mind. And then he's like, well, I'm not going to say it publicly though. Like, I'm not going to tell anyone.
- [51:47]
A
I think I'm wrong now.
- [51:50]
C
Stubborn as a mule.
- [51:53]
A
But yeah, dude, the. The trip was sick though.
- [51:56]
C
Nice.
- [51:56]
A
I was so happy to be back, man. Dude, it's crazy how nice America is. Yeah, the airport at Turks and Caicos was like.
- [52:03]
C
It's like a bus stop.
- [52:04]
A
It's crazy, dude. They don't have the extendy things.
- [52:08]
B
Just about to ask.
- [52:09]
A
No, dude, you just got to walk out into like the blistering sun. And it's not like. It was like, I get if you're on a little plane, it's like, yeah, you just kind of walk out. These are like full size planes. You had to just walk into the blazing heat and like walk up the steps. It's like, damn, you guys can't get the fucking extended things.
- [52:23]
B
Was it the same planes that we like? The same like bow and shit like that?
- [52:26]
A
Yeah, it was like regular American airlines. They're all. They're only like an hour from Miami.
- [52:31]
B
Oh, okay, okay, okay.
- [52:32]
A
Also, dude, the fucking fake ladies in Miami, it's crazy.
- [52:36]
C
The bbl, they're.
- [52:37]
A
Dude, though, I'm telling you, man, I. There were so many women that I was like. The level of artificial enhancements in women now, I've said it before, they're going to become virtually unrecognized. Yeah, it's like that's a weird arms race for ladies to enhance themselves. And you. Once you go over the brink, it's like you're just mutant.
- [52:55]
B
I mean, it's teetering now being too close. Like. Cuz I like, I think I'm an all natty guy, just. I'm just strictly off Internet shit, you know what I mean? You see something, you're like, that's real and it takes like way longer than it used to to be like. That has got a weird bounce to it. Or like. Yeah, the thighs. It's like they're doing it. It's masterful. I'm not. I'm for it, but I. You know, I would love it to be perfected by the time my lady's, like, 55.
- [53:19]
C
Yeah, I would.
- [53:20]
B
Copper.
- [53:20]
A
I would.
- [53:20]
B
Copper.
- [53:21]
A
It's kind of. It's kind of there. Yeah, it's there. What you would call it, like, testosterone therapy.
- [53:25]
B
Yeah.
- [53:26]
A
If they can kind of just like, bring their ass back up and pop those titties back out, I get it, man. You know? Yeah. You can't really fault them for that.
- [53:32]
B
No, I actually want, like, I want it. I want my lady. I want her to get the enhancements if. Especially if I'm going to stay and be faithful and shit. Like, pick them titties up.
- [53:43]
A
Yeah, exactly.
- [53:45]
B
We'll be happy.
- [53:46]
A
You can go on T, too. You can.
- [53:47]
B
I'm gonna go on tea, like, as soon as it stops working. Right. I'm figuring out.
- [53:52]
A
I. So I started taking maca again. Not even realizing it. I was just taking. I take. I was taking melatonin to fall asleep, and then I saw they had, like, a date. The brand I take is, like, a daytime thing.
- [54:00]
B
Yeah.
- [54:01]
A
Just, like, lion's mane and whatever else, but they had maca in it. And I was like. I didn't. I was like, yeah, whatever, dude. I've been waking up Brick. Yeah, no, the mock is. The mock is another level, dude. I was waking up Brick, like, oh, this is new.
- [54:14]
B
Yeah, dude, I might have to get the maca. This is Mac. Is the same that. Like, maca tea and all that.
- [54:19]
A
It's like a macaroon. It's not bad for you. You take it like that. They say it has a lot of iodine in it, which apparently Americans are low on iodine because they took it out of the salt it used to be in the tape. Well, if you get pink Himalayan salt or whatever, any sea salt, there's no iodine. So a lot of Americans stop with the regular table salt that did have. Did have iodine. But if you eat out, though, it's probably in all that stuff. But a lot of people have a deficiency in iodine, and then it has a lot. So if you take too much of it for too long, they say, like, you can get too much iodine. But, dude, if you go on it for, like, a couple months at a time, you. Dude, it's crazy. I've been. I've been rocking. Like, I. I didn't think I even, like, had anything to worry about. But, like, now I'm getting, like, my full boner back, and I'm like, yo, where you been? Hello, buddy.
- [55:02]
C
Yeah, it's crazy, My old friend.
- [55:04]
A
Yeah, it's pretty wild, dude. I suggest mocking at pretty much anybody. Yeah. Again, I will say for the record, I'm not on the tea. If I was on the tea, I wouldn't be worried about maka. But it's like, dude, it's. Yeah, it's pretty sick.
- [55:16]
B
I don't. When you go on t, is it like a. I don't even know. It was a pill popper. Are you pill popping shot? Oh, that's. I don't like that.
- [55:23]
A
The problem, though, is I think. And again, I could be wrong, but I think what a lot of those little, like, tea centers do is they give you a readout.
- [55:29]
B
Yeah.
- [55:30]
A
And I think they tell everybody, like.
- [55:31]
B
Yeah, you got low T. No matter.
- [55:32]
A
What they told our one friend, he had low T. Egan.
- [55:35]
C
Oh, that's right. Yeah.
- [55:37]
A
I don't know if Egan wants that out, but it's like he went to teach it. Yeah, he's probably talked about it.
- [55:40]
C
Yeah, I think so.
- [55:41]
A
But he. Yeah, dude, he.
- [55:44]
B
He's a young boy. He's a young dude.
- [55:45]
A
He's a young stock. Young man. The problem is, if you don't get good sleep one night and go to a T center, your tea will be low.
- [55:52]
B
Yeah.
- [55:52]
A
On the readout. But, yeah, dude, I. I honestly wouldn't go on that stuff until you're, like, old and, like, you don't need your, like, reproductive system at all anymore.
- [56:00]
B
Because once you start. You're like.
- [56:01]
A
I think once you start putting that shit in your body, I think. I think you can come off of it, but it's like, you're gonna get soft. It might be kind of weird. I don't know. It's like, would you want to roll those dice?
- [56:10]
B
I wonder what it'll feel like, though, to, like, be 45, boosting amazing feet.
- [56:14]
A
No.
- [56:15]
B
Probably great. But then you come off, and then you just, like, you can just feel.
- [56:18]
A
You can't come off ever again.
- [56:19]
B
Can you come off and go back? Can you go like, you know what? I need to be like my daughter having a daughter. I need to be a little more sensitive. You come off the teeth. She gets it. Back in high school, you're like, all right, I need to be ready to slap some tea around, tee up again?
- [56:33]
A
Yeah, you could actually. You probably could do that.
- [56:36]
B
That might be.
- [56:36]
A
But I think it, like, fucks with your balls after a while. I think if you're on it for a while, your balls are just kind of like, no Good iterations, huh?
- [56:44]
C
Raisins.
- [56:45]
A
Well, yeah, I think, like, your sperm's all up, so I think you just gotta wait. I. I really do want to wait till I'm, like, 60.
- [56:50]
B
Yeah.
- [56:50]
A
Try to keep it together as much as I can, and then smash the glass and just become an absolute monster. And I'll be, like, disrespectful with it too. I'll take, like, way too much and just become an absolute monster.
- [57:01]
B
Just mean to people.
- [57:02]
A
Such a dick. I don't know. We'll see. It is. It's. It's tempting, though, because I heard you. Do you feel like a teenager, basically, from what I've heard.
- [57:09]
B
That'll be nice.
- [57:11]
C
But they give it to you in.
- [57:14]
A
Pellets now, is it pellets? Not the shot.
- [57:15]
B
It's a shot, and a pellet is.
- [57:17]
C
In the shot, and they're like little tiny pills. And then it. Over six months, it just melts in your ass.
- [57:24]
A
Yo, bro. So it is a little pellet. It just sits in your skin.
- [57:32]
B
Wait, are they giving the shot directly into a butt cheek sometimes or your leg?
- [57:37]
A
Yo, look, that guy's like. They drew his nutsack on the back of that medical photo totally unnecessarily. Look at the diagram of the guy's body. I don't know if it's his helmet or what. No, go to the other one. Go to the one to the right of that.
- [57:51]
C
To it.
- [57:51]
A
It's like the. Yeah, the cross sectional. Sorry, YouTube. But they showed his scrotum.
- [57:56]
C
Little scrooge.
- [57:57]
A
Why do they do that? They don't need to show that. Like, we get the guys laying on a side. He has a penis. You don't have to show his little bit of ball.
- [58:03]
C
And that's how they started with this thing right here.
- [58:05]
A
Oh, man. Weird.
- [58:08]
C
Weird.
- [58:09]
A
But why is that better?
- [58:12]
C
Because you don't have to give yourself a shot.
- [58:13]
A
Yeah. Every.
- [58:16]
B
Oh, when you're on T, it's like every week you hit the doctor going, damn forever. That stinks. So just have a doctor visit as part of the weekly.
- [58:26]
A
Yeah, but you charged up.
- [58:27]
B
Yeah. I mean, it's definitely worth it, but.
- [58:30]
A
Yeah, I don't know, man. I'm hesitant. I'm really hesitant about that.
- [58:32]
B
Yeah.
- [58:33]
A
Because I feel like once you start that, it's like, it'd be hard and you might be like, I. I could be a. Maybe a menace. Dude, coming on T, I might be a menace.
- [58:42]
B
It's gonna bring back, like, that childhood. Like, I'll anything, like, if. Like, who knows what that's like. Once you're, like, in a very committed thing, like, those are demons you don't even need back. Like, yeah, you just start drinking, but.
- [58:55]
A
It'S like you can get her totally enhanced. Then you just go on the sauce and just let it all just fall apart. She starts, like, cheating on you, and holiday ends and like, yo, what's your name? The future of any future. Yeah, it's my favorite place to eat breakfast. And you're really pretty. I'm hard as hell celebrating my 63rd birthday by myself. I'm rock hard enough jacked. Check out my wife's tits, dude. Apparently there was a. Did you see. It's like a really weird thing to hear about. I saw it on Twitter, but there was a Bridgerton convention. You know the show Bridgerton? Yeah. It's like porno for ladies. It's just like the English society and it's just literally just sex scenes the entire time.
- [59:41]
B
I think you might have fallen asleep. We were sitting next to a lady on a plane. She was sitting between us, just watching Bridgerton. And just like, the sex scenes, I just want to play.
- [59:49]
A
It's crazy, insane. But, dude, there was a. You know what I'm talking. You know I'm talking about. Yeah, dude. This shit is the funniest of ladies cosplayed as Bridgerton. They got scammed by this dude who, when they went in there, all their laughs so hard as much a big fat lady to go to what they thought was like a Bridgerton inspired, like, classy ball. And it was for some reason, they're like, they'll be dancing there. So they put like, a buffet that ran out. And then there was a pole dancer somewhere. Yeah, true.
- [60:30]
C
Back there, though. There's one unknown. He's probably cleaning.
- [60:34]
A
Oh, dude. But they hired a pole dancer for some reason. So in the corner, there was just a stripper lady dancing on a pole. It was crazy, man. It was a whole, like, Twitter thread about it. It made me laugh so hard to see a bunch of ladies show up and be like, this stinks.
- [60:51]
B
I was gonna say. I guarantee the next one is gonna be dude heavy because words gonna get out that this was like, just fat bitches who were just like, trying to cosplay and.
- [61:02]
A
Yep.
- [61:03]
B
And next time it's gonna be like 10 women and a thousand dudes. A bunch of oaks dressed up with coattails, just.
- [61:10]
A
Gentlemen, milady. M. Lady, would you like to have this dude that would be going home pulling someone from the Bridgerton ball and just. I mean, dude, look at that, bro.
- [61:22]
B
Having to Hike up that giant.
- [61:23]
A
They saw it. Dude, that was for real. That's like a girl brain terrorist. Dude. Throw the Bridgerton ball for 300 and just have like the worst buffet and just a pole dancer for no reason.
- [61:34]
B
Just a lady pole dancer.
- [61:35]
A
Yes, it was a poll. It was a lady pole dancer. But it's like I feel like women are dressed up for the Bridgerton Ball. They don't need to see a lady like yeah. In a bikini kind of doing pole dance.
- [61:44]
B
She wasn't like in blooms like those.
- [61:48]
A
No, she was just fucking. Just a lady. Just like a modern day pole dancer clad. I'm gonna see if I can find the fucking thing. I won't find it. It was on Twitter. It made me laugh. I just. That made my morning.
- [61:58]
C
Man, that is nice.
- [62:00]
A
Yeah dude, that was a. I wish I hopefully can pull it up. That shit made me laugh. There we go. Yeah, the food was raw. Oh, the view was probably all over it.
- [62:12]
C
Yeah, yeah.
- [62:13]
A
Let's see. They're trying. That's the best picture.
- [62:15]
B
That's the funny. The lady who just gave up on standing.
- [62:18]
A
The lady who sat on the floor.
- [62:25]
B
She's sitting like she slid down the wall like she did slowly.
- [62:29]
A
No, it was just ladies, dude. Ladies at the Bridgerton event in like a Holiday Inn.
- [62:34]
B
Is that the stage?
- [62:34]
A
There's the pole dancer.
- [62:35]
B
Yeah, my man in the corner just shaking it in.
- [62:40]
A
Yeah, they said a pole dancer. Yo, ladies beware. There'll be you and a bunch of other very lonely ladies. Yeah, man, that's just absolutely criminal.
- [62:55]
C
Poor ladies.
- [62:57]
A
Yeah, dude, that's not like safe. No, it doesn't actually. That's the thing. Like the guy who put. They showed the promoter it was like a club promoter who put it together Beef. Such an animal. I mean he must have made so he probably made like 20 grand tricks.
- [63:14]
B
With like no over.
- [63:15]
C
That guy is such a vibe though.
- [63:17]
A
He's secure security.
- [63:19]
C
True.
- [63:19]
B
He's making posted up in the perfect.
- [63:20]
C
Spot their hands on the merchandise.
- [63:22]
A
Yeah, that's security but yeah, that's. Yeah, there's a. There's a young tutor right there.
- [63:26]
C
Yeah, it looks like Baron True.
- [63:29]
A
Yeah. Yeah, you're right. The next Bridgerton ball. Someone's gonna throw up. Throw one. It's going to be so nice. Why is Will Smith. Why is he trending?
- [63:38]
B
It's trending a sports too.
- [63:39]
A
That's never good. I don't know. I don't give a fuck.
- [63:46]
C
Probably something with Diddy.
- [63:47]
A
Oh no, dude. Okay. They're accusing him of.
- [63:51]
C
Oh, this is what I was Talking about with you the other day, Nate, how a lot of the Diddy allegations are purely criminal, but then some of them are just black dudes being, like, a yo.
- [64:01]
A
Yeah, true.
- [64:02]
C
Like, I saw one that was like, Diddy had his shirt off with so and so at the pool.
- [64:08]
A
I feel like that's totally normal.
- [64:10]
B
I supposed to rock the beater.
- [64:15]
A
I mean, dude, there were probably. It was just. He was having, like, wild sex parties. And it's like, if you're. You know, if you're in, like, the. That, like, a sphere of, like, celebrity, like that level of celebrity, it's probably like, yeah, we can do whatever we want.
- [64:26]
B
Yeah.
- [64:26]
A
You come up and it's like, yeah, did he throws the coolest parties? There's probably, like, levels to it, too. There's probably, like, the inner sanctum. And once you get into that, it's probably like, what? Because they were. All. Those guys were like, all. You see the video of them all, like, laying in a bed together?
- [64:37]
B
Yeah.
- [64:38]
A
Dame Dash got in that, and he had to come out and be like, I didn't do, dude.
- [64:42]
B
Yeah. Aaliyah was in it. I think in that same picture, he dated Aaliyah.
- [64:45]
A
Dame Dash dated Alia for a while.
- [64:46]
B
I think a lot. I think there was, like, a lot of Holly. Like, Dame J. Was 15. I don't know if she. Never mind. I was about to say, I don't know if she, like, told R. Kelly she was 15, because they did fake her on the marriage certificate. They said, like, 18.
- [65:04]
C
I saw that.
- [65:05]
B
But that doesn't mean he ain't. He ain't no.
- [65:08]
A
Yeah. No, that was. Yeah, Jay Z is. He's kind of. People are dying to get him fucking dragged down.
- [65:14]
B
They want it so bad.
- [65:16]
A
Yeah.
- [65:17]
B
If that. That would actually. I think. I think that would, like, actually hurt my feelings just how much I fucked with Jay Z as a kid, like, seeing him go down or something.
- [65:26]
A
Why do you think him and Beyonce had to do that DNC stuff? Why would they do that? They're billionaires. Why would. I mean, do they really. Maybe they love the dnc. Or maybe there is sexual blackmail. That's a theory. On Oprah. It's like, Oprah was All this Spud was saying the Diddy stuff came out. Next thing you know, Oprah's at a DNC convention being like, we will prevail interviewing Kamala. Yeah, man. And they do sexual blackmail. That was the whole Epstein operation.
- [65:50]
B
Yeah.
- [65:51]
A
So, like, you think that was the only one? It's possible, dude.
- [65:55]
C
Oprah was doing.
- [65:57]
A
I don't know, dude. Who knows?
- [65:59]
B
Again, nothing anybody wanted.
- [66:01]
A
Maybe nothing, maybe nothing. But it's like. Like, who knows, dude? You guys know how it gets.
- [66:05]
B
The one thing they were saying is.
- [66:07]
A
You guys know how the parties get.
- [66:10]
B
Is those things are, like, you bring the celebs to lure in the politicians. That's what I. I did see that online. Like, you bring in the celebs, you get them coming. You tell all the politicians, like, Diddy's going to be not, you know, everybody. And then they. They show up. Celebs leave early, but the politicians are chasing the dragon. Yeah, that's how you say that. That's how the move works. That's what I'm gonna tell myself. It's possible to do nothing.
- [66:32]
A
We never know.
- [66:33]
B
It's Hove.
- [66:34]
A
Okay. That would be a devastating community if Hove gets, like, locked up on some Epstein stuff.
- [66:40]
B
Yeah.
- [66:40]
A
Although that wouldn't really. So many. I know so many black people are like, yeah, dude, he's. He worships the devil. He's in an Illuminati sacrifice. Yeah, true. It's true.
- [66:50]
B
You're like, oh.
- [66:54]
A
True. I think the barbershop will be silent just for, like, two days. Just like.
- [66:58]
B
No, the barbershops gonna go nuts. Haircuts are gonna take two hours. Cause your barber gonna keep stopping to, like, say his little point.
- [67:05]
C
Dude, the barbershop's probably crazy right now.
- [67:07]
B
It's called. Yeah, it's definitely crazy. I got my hair cut this morning. They were talking about the dick shit.
- [67:12]
A
Really?
- [67:12]
B
Yeah. Like, can I tell? I mean, my barber. There's no barber in Austin that I've come across as a black barber shop. They all have black barber. It's like Mexicans, but, like, I have a black barber, but it's like, it's not a black barber shop.
- [67:24]
A
Yeah, yeah.
- [67:26]
B
Just not enough of us down here.
- [67:27]
A
Too much soccer talk in the barbershop?
- [67:29]
B
No, they were going nuts. There's this one boy in my barbershop. He goes nuts on conspiracies every time I'm there. That's like his. That must be his whole day. He's just talking everyone in the shop's ear off. Conspiracies.
- [67:44]
C
I gotta go and start introducing some white conspiracies to the barbershop.
- [67:48]
B
They're in there.
- [67:49]
C
They are.
- [67:49]
B
At least here. You gotta go back. You gotta go to Houston.
- [67:52]
A
Yeah, true. My travel to H town just for a black barbershop. I've had, like, two black barbershop experiences. One was great. The other one was not so great.
- [68:01]
C
What happened?
- [68:02]
A
I. Dude, the one. It was like, somebody. Someone I knew brought me to a barber shop in, like, in West Philly. They're like, nah, dude, come. When I was, like, selling pills, they're like, dude. It was like, my connect, basically. He's like, bro, we'll go to the barbershop now. And it's kind of chill. He was like. Like, there was one time I just went to one because I, like, the place I was trying to go was closed, and I went in. I was. It was just like, dudes chopping it up, having the barbershop experience. And I was like, guys, I hate to break this up. I really need a haircut. I'm about to go to the beach. Can we just, like. Can we just do this real quick? I don't. I don't want to, like, ruin the vibe here. Just shape me up. The dude is just like, yeah, yeah. And he literally. He. My. It was a haircut was so good. Then he just, like, butchered this one side. Now I believe. I think he might have, like, get the hell out of here.
- [68:42]
B
Like, don't come back.
- [68:43]
A
Yeah, I was. I was just like, dude, just want a haircut. Not trying to get in here and, like, kind of horn in on the black barbershop experience. It's just the haircutter's closed right now. I have to go to the beach. Can we just please strike a deal right now? The white barbershop experience is you to, like, just have. Just get like, yapped at by, like, a divorced lady.
- [69:04]
B
Yeah.
- [69:05]
A
For like, an hour. Just like. Yeah. Oh, man. Oh, that's a picture of your daughter. Wow, she's beautiful. Beautiful. Thanks. Out of here. So, like. And they were having a good, lively time, and I walked in, it was like, hey, who's on probation? I gotta go to the beach with my friends. Guys, please give me a nice.
- [69:21]
C
Can you line me up?
- [69:22]
A
Give me a buzz, please? But either way. Well, dudes, I think we made a hour.
- [69:26]
B
Yeah, dude.
- [69:28]
A
So what's next? What do you guys have to do?
- [69:34]
C
Nothing.
- [69:35]
B
Yeah, nothing.
- [69:35]
C
Going to Vegas. Sin City, baby. Skunk fist.
- [69:39]
A
Well, if you guys feel like it, go to mattmcusker.com for tickets. I'll be in. Where am I gonna be? Oh, dude, the New York Comedy Festival. Guys, quit playing around. I'll be at Town Hall. And let me see, let me see, let me see. When am I going to be at Town Hall? Oh, my God, there it is. 11, 16, 20, 24. 11, 15, 20, 24. I'll be in Capital One hall and Tysons Virginia. And then October 24th, Milwaukee Improv. I'll be at the Wilbur in Boston. Let's go. There's a late show. There's a couple spots left. You can get them. That's 1018 and then 1010, October 10th, Hilarities Comedy Club, Cleveland, Ohio. And I have a bunch of other dates coming up to round out the year. And then I'm going to film a special and take off from touring for maybe six months to a year to come up with a new hour of stand up comedy.
- [70:24]
C
That'll be awesome.
- [70:24]
A
That'll be very fun.
- [70:25]
B
So you know where you're taping it?
- [70:26]
A
I have no idea yet.
- [70:27]
C
My shower is fantastic.
- [70:29]
A
Thank you guys.
- [70:30]
C
Excited?
- [70:31]
A
I'm excited to tape it and be done flying every week. Very nice. Thank you, guys.
- [70:37]
C
Thank you.
- [70:38]
B
Thank you.
- [70:38]
C
Bless you.
- [70:39]
B
Love.