Ep 524 - Tricker Treat (feat. Steve Gerben & Chris O'Connor)

Summary

Matt and Shane's Secret Podcast - Episode 524: Tricker Treat (feat. Steve Gerben & Chris O'Connor)
Release Date: October 24, 2024

Hosts: Matt McCusker & Shane Gillis
Guests: Steve Gerben & Chris O'Connor
Description: Join Matt and Shane as they navigate through a whirlwind of hilarious anecdotes, engaging discussions, and insightful conversations with special guests Steve Gerben and Chris O'Connor. This episode, titled "Tricker Treat," dives deep into personal stories, the intricacies of golf, Halloween preparations, and a spirited debate on politics, all delivered with the trademark humor that makes this podcast a standout.

---

1. Introduction and Guest Absence (00:00 - 00:20)

Shane opens the episode by welcoming listeners and noting the absence of Matt, who is presumably busy with other commitments.

• Shane: "Hello, everybody. We're back. The three of us. I guess McKeever couldn't make it." [00:00]

2. Golf Stories and Anecdotes (02:21 - 07:05)

The conversation shifts to golf, where Steve shares his recent experiences on the course, including a notable birdie.

• Steve: "I made a birdie." [05:51]
• Shane: "You were feeling it." [06:28]

Chris also shares a heartwarming moment about having dinner with his father, highlighting personal connections outside the spotlight.

• Chris: "We ate hot dogs. Yeah."
• Shane: "You and your dad ate hot dogs together? Yeah."

3. Dream Stories Discussion (07:22 - 08:09)

Shane expresses his nostalgia for Matt's dream stories, prompting Chris to recount a particularly vivid and chaotic dream he had.

• Chris: "I woke up and I was like, I don't know how I'm going to explain. What happened last night?" [07:33]
• Shane: "I miss dream stories." [07:05]

4. Halloween Costume Planning (08:41 - 16:20)

A significant portion of the episode is dedicated to planning Halloween costumes. The trio brainstorms various ideas, ranging from classic characters like Frankenstein to creative and humorous outfits.

• Shane: "I'm going to come as like, Ben Franklin or something." [13:58]
• Steve: "That's a good way to mix in the spectacles." [14:03]

They discuss the logistics of setting up costumes and the challenges of originality, ultimately deciding on playful and collaborative outfits.

• Shane: "It's gonna exciting. Yeah. Look at this guy. 10ft tall." [39:00]

5. Show Recaps and Behind-the-Scenes (15:22 - 24:19)

The guests reflect on recent shows, sharing backstage moments and interactions with other comedians like Brian Regan.

• Chirs: "Chris killed the show." [15:48]
• Shane: "Yes, brother." [18:48]

Steve recounts a memorable encounter with a pitcher from the Phillies, adding a layer of camaraderie and humor to the conversation.

• Shane: "You guys got to discuss pitching from the mound." [16:48]

6. Political Conversations: Russian Collusion and Trump (30:10 - 37:39)

The discussion takes a more serious turn as the group delves into the topic of Russian collusion, the Mueller report, and the political landscape surrounding former President Trump.

• Shane: "Do you think it's okay for a political candidate to use the intelligence agencies to accuse another candidate of being a Russian spy?" [30:37]
• Chris: "I think everything in the Mueller report, I stand by." [30:43]

They debate the implications of political maneuvers and the role of media in shaping public perception, highlighting differing viewpoints among the hosts and guests.

• Shane: "That's ridiculous." [32:34]
• Steve: "The prosecution of Trump in New York for trying to get a loan... that's like, well, it's Obama... setting a precedent." [36:20]

7. Personal Anecdotes and Humor (38:06 - 55:13)

The trio shares a series of personal stories that range from childhood memories to funny encounters at country clubs. These anecdotes provide a glimpse into their lives outside of comedy and podcasting.

• Shane: "Went trick or treating... saw a guy in a full gorilla costume..." [48:37]
• Steve: "I had a big crush on my second grade teacher." [50:10]

8. Ad Read: Prize Picks (44:11 - 47:35)

A mid-episode advertisement promotes Prize Picks, a platform for real-money sports action. Hosts Shane and Chris humorously engage with the ad content, integrating it seamlessly into the conversation.

• Shane: "What do you think of that? You just pick more or less on at least two players for a shot to win up to 100 times your cash." [45:04]

9. Closing Remarks and Future Plans (83:19 - 86:15)

As the episode draws to a close, the hosts discuss upcoming events, including Halloween parties and future podcast topics. They reflect on the day's conversations and tease future episodes.

• Shane: "Next week, Kylo is sick..." [83:26]
• Chris: "We'll just do a month." [23:52]

---

Notable Quotes

• Shane on Handling Responsibilities:
  "If you're gonna have something, you gotta handle a lot." [00:21]

• Steve on Golf Enthusiasm:
  "If you love golf, that feeling of connecting with the drive and watching the ball sail, it's just it." [05:31]

• Shane on Political Integrity:
  "Do you think it's okay for a political candidate to use the intelligence agencies to accuse another candidate of being a Russian spy?" [30:37]

• Chris on Personal Growth:
  "I think if you pursue the intellectual, what are you gonna give a speech?" [76:03]

• Shane on Friendship Dynamics:
  "Matt's intellectual stuff is personal. It's a personal journey." [75:34]

Conclusion

Episode 524 of Matt and Shane's Secret Podcast offers a blend of humor, personal stories, and thoughtful discussions. With guests Steve Gerben and Chris O'Connor, the episode navigates through the lighter aspects of life, such as golf and Halloween preparations, while also delving into more serious political debates. The inclusion of relatable anecdotes and the interplay between hosts and guests create an engaging listening experience that captures the essence of what makes this podcast a favorite among its audience.

Transcript

[Shane]

And we're starting now. Hello, everybody. We're back. The three of us. I guess McKeever couldn't make it.

[Steve]

No, he. I think he's working like crazy.

[Chris]

Yeah.

[Shane]

Yeah.

[Steve]

Yeah.

[Chris]

Busy as hell.

[Shane]

Yeah, he's extreme. I don't know how he's doing what he's doing.

[Steve]

No, he's doing a little bit of everything. He's. He's now at that point where he can't get to. So we. Somebody that needs something. Yeah.

[Shane]

Which. That could be trouble because then you're gonna have to handle a lot. Oh, Dwight dw. And then Dwight gets his dick sucked constantly. And he becomes the boss and is really cool. And everyone thinks he's cool.

[Steve]

I did a cool thing.

[Chris]

I went and got a mask made.

[Shane]

You got a. Oh, yeah. For the show.

[Chris]

Silicone put on. Yeah.

[Shane]

Nice for when I blow your head off.

[Chris]

Exactly.

[Shane]

Yeah.

[Chris]

We killed them to give me a Terminator eye.

[Shane]

How was it? That sucks.

[Chris]

It wasn't. It wasn't that bad. It was kind of nice. And also my. My dad wound up being like 10 minutes away. They pulled my dad out of retirement.

[Shane]

What do you mean?

[Chris]

Yeah, my dad retired from engineering and.

[Shane]

Oh, and he's working.

[Chris]

Yeah, he's working today.

[Shane]

So you got to see your father.

[Chris]

Yeah.

[Shane]

Yeah.

[Chris]

I got to have a little meal with him. Which was nice. We ate hot dogs.

[Shane]

You and your dad ate hot dogs together? Yeah.

[Chris]

Yeah, we shared a hot dog. Yeah. It was nice. And some cheese curds. Talked about minor league or not minor league, but like youth league hockey for a little bit.

[Shane]

Talked about kids and ate hot dogs. That's a good day.

[Chris]

It's a great day.

[Shane]

Where did you guys eat? The park?

[Chris]

No, we went to this place called Destination Dog Dog.

[Shane]

You went to his hot dog specific restaurant?

[Chris]

Yeah. Yeah.

[Shane]

That's nice.

[Chris]

Yeah, it was great.

[Shane]

I'm not a big dog guy.

[Chris]

No, these are good hot dogs.

[Shane]

I hate hot dogs. Me too.

[Chris]

What do you mean?

[Shane]

I just hate. I Obviously I'm. I'm munching.

[Chris]

Yeah.

[Shane]

I'll grow up with the best. But hot dog. I just hate hot dogs.

[Chris]

No good hot.

[Shane]

They're disgusting.

[Chris]

Well, they are.

[Steve]

Of course.

[Shane]

You're a terrible ally in this. All. You literally. You eat chicken fingers.

[Steve]

No, I.

[Shane]

Which, by the way, chicken fingers obviously rule.

[Steve]

Yeah, yeah, yeah. But it's more grilled chicken and rice and broccoli now. My diet affects how I feel.

[Shane]

Of course.

[Chris]

Yeah.

[Shane]

Yeah.

[Chris]

So are you. Are you bulking up or is the strategy okay?

[Steve]

Yeah, I did think I've opened it because I did. And I started to tell you this.

[Shane]

Yeah.

[Steve]

And then I stopped. But I think I unlocked a new power source in the golf where this.

[Shane]

Power swing story was going.

[Chris]

Yeah.

[Steve]

Yeah.

[Shane]

There was more to that story.

[Steve]

No, there wasn't. But it wasn't.

[Shane]

I wanted that to be there.

[Steve]

There could have been.

[Shane]

That needed to be done. That was one of the worst stories I've ever heard in my life.

[Steve]

Well, I don't think it.

[Shane]

You should tell everybody on the pod.

[Steve]

I don't want to. Everybody's just gonna make fun of me.

[Shane]

No one's gonna make fun of me. Well, this is the. So we're in the middle of us filming, which is. It's long. And then Steve's like, oh, my God. I saw him smiling.

[Steve]

He saw me. Said, that's all it was. By the way, I literally. I. The tiniest little ring.

[Shane]

You were literally looking at the floor going.

[Chris]

He's imagining how bad the story is going to go.

[Steve]

Yes. But also wanting to say it.

[Chris]

Yeah.

[Steve]

Desperately wanting to say it.

[Chris]

Yeah.

[Shane]

And the story was, you hit a golf ball far.

[Steve]

Well, so I. I played both days. Played Saturday and Sunday.

[Shane]

This is why you're so tired when we're filming.

[Chris]

No.

[Steve]

I didn't know. It energized me.

[Shane]

No, it doesn't.

[Steve]

Don't do that. No, I need it. Otherwise, I.

[Chris]

We are at risk of losing you to injury. You're trying to go for the long ball. You're trying to go for the long ball. You were.

[Shane]

You were barely making it the other day, say, yesterday. God damn.

[Steve]

Well, we all got sick from.

[Shane]

From one of the.

[Chris]

Yeah, one of the. Yeah, it spread around.

[Steve]

Yeah. Yeah. One of the guest stars.

[Chris]

Yeah.

[Shane]

Maybe. It's tough to blame him.

[Steve]

Fair enough.

[Chris]

Yeah. It could have come from anywhere.

[Steve]

Regardless, you're in close quarters with a bunch of people breathing.

[Shane]

It's coming for me. I'm.

[Steve]

We'll see, dude.

[Chris]

I'm. Yeah, I'm a suspect. I had it.

[Shane]

Yeah.

[Chris]

Yeah. I had something going on.

[Shane]

You brought it in.

[Steve]

But anyway, he saw me smile. I had to tell the story, which is just that I, you know, had this feel in my backswing.

[Shane]

Let's also. I know you're trying to get to this incredible story, but let's make sure everyone knows this is out of nowhere. This isn't like we were talking about golf. We were talking about. This is just. All right.

[Steve]

I think about it a lot.

[Shane]

This is a silent room. Pretty quiet. Yeah.

[Steve]

But we were also, you know, we see each other every day. There's a limited Amount of stuff to talk about. So I had this other thing to talk to you about. It's kind of the highlight.

[Shane]

Let's hear it.

[Steve]

So I made a few swing changes and then got this feel that gave me a lot more coil in my backswing, and I hit a bomb. Like, you know, I hit a couple bombs, frankly, coming down the home stretch.

[Shane]

Yes.

[Steve]

And my playing partner, you know, was like, damn, you cleared the bunker into the wind. And I was like, I never would have done that. Yeah, that's it. That's. That's the feeling. But see, this is the thing. I think it's only most people who don't care about golf. It's whatever. If you love golf, that. That feeling of connecting with the drive and watching the ball sail, it's just it. It's whatever you're supposed to feel when you listen to Beethoven. It's just this thing, and I got to feel that. And I love it.

[Chris]

It is great. And we were feeling that a little bit at top.

[Shane]

Yeah. If you hit the golf ball far, it's fun.

[Steve]

Yeah.

[Chris]

Yeah.

[Steve]

They have somebody pulling it out. You pump that. And I got. I did pump it. And then I had 80 yards left of the. I had a perfect 80 yard Dave Bell shot. Made the putt. Birdie. It played.

[Shane]

You had a birdie?

[Steve]

I did have a birdie.

[Shane]

Nice.

[Steve]

Thanks.

[Shane]

That's good. Nice.

[Steve]

That was my boring ass story that I thought of and then thought of his response to it. And then, of course, I have to tell it. So just walk the plank.

[Shane]

That was.

[Chris]

I do really want to get good at golf.

[Shane]

Yeah, it'd be fun. Golfing would be fun.

[Chris]

Yeah.

[Shane]

Unless you're golfing with Steve and his buddies dead clean soccer. Enjoying the sober buddies. Enjoying the sport. Hitting a fucking 120 sober blows, dude. Although you said you hit in the 80s, right?

[Steve]

86 on Sunday.

[Shane]

Was that the day with the birdie?

[Steve]

Yeah. Yeah, yeah.

[Shane]

You're feeling it.

[Steve]

I was feeling it.

[Shane]

Yeah. How'd you feel when you got home? How'd you feel when you got home? Your girlfriend catch the bucks? What did your girlfriend get? The business came over incredibly. All right.

[Steve]

What was that?

[Shane]

I shouldn't have asked.

[Chris]

No, you carry it over.

[Steve]

Do I carry, whatever.

[Chris]

The confidence of a good golf game into?

[Steve]

Yes. But I don't. But I don't carry over the bad stuff.

[Chris]

You don't.

[Steve]

I don't carry over the bad.

[Shane]

I don't believe that. Just lies, dude.

[Chris]

You know, you don't take it out on her. If you have a bad day no.

[Shane]

Come here.

[Steve]

No, but I go, what?

[Shane]

These golf stories make me really miss Matt's dream stories. I'll listen to Matt's dream stories every day. Last night you had some dream stories.

[Chris]

I got a really bad dream.

[Shane]

I miss dream stories.

[Chris]

I. Because we. We went out and we had some dinner last night and I went home. But then in my dream we stayed out and got up.

[Shane]

That's fun.

[Chris]

Yeah, yeah, we got really up.

[Shane]

Might be the ticket. Like you're actually sleeping in your head.

[Chris]

I was, I was. But then I got so shit faced. Somehow I woke up in my parents house and in a drunken stupor. I had like started like a variety of puzzles all over the floors of my parents house. And I woke up and I was like. I don't know how I'm going to explain.

[Shane]

Yeah.

[Chris]

What happened last night? And like what the fuck were you doing? You kept making puzzles all over the like, what the fuck is wrong with you?

[Shane]

Yeah, sure. So how about the golf?

[Steve]

Yeah, golf's better than that because it happened in reality.

[Chris]

You go, it really me up. I'm not gonna lie. The puzzle thing.

[Shane]

Yeah.

[Chris]

Yeah. My imaginary debauch tonight.

[Shane]

We had a nice night.

[Chris]

We did have. We had a wonderful night.

[Shane]

I stood my ground. You did, you cow.

[Steve]

I did.

[Shane]

I did he a cow.

[Chris]

I wanted sleep so I could get.

[Shane]

Dinner with our, our ladies. And we had a nice dinner, but we were discussing Halloween costumes.

[Steve]

Okay.

[Shane]

Of course the ladies are. They want to go slutty. Whatever. Sure. And it's like, you know, why not not do that?

[Chris]

Yeah.

[Shane]

It's cool. When I wasn't dating you.

[Chris]

Yeah. Yeah.

[Shane]

But now you know.

[Steve]

Yeah. Cover it up a little.

[Shane]

I'm sitting there, I'm in the middle of. I'm battling both girlfriends.

[Steve]

Okay.

[Shane]

This one. Silent Judas.

[Chris]

Really?

[Shane]

That was Peter.

[Chris]

I said at the table, I would like to get some sleep tonight. I do not want to open this can of worms. I think that's fair.

[Shane]

What do you think of that? I'm in the trenches doing battle. He even said, I appreciate what you're doing.

[Steve]

Wow.

[Shane]

Which was a mistake.

[Steve]

So what do you actually think?

[Shane]

Though it did come back to haunt me. Not in the moment. That was a slow burn, that fight.

[Chris]

Yeah. Yeah.

[Steve]

So what do you actually think?

[Shane]

I like when other people's girlfriends are dressed slutty. That's.

[Chris]

Yeah.

[Steve]

But Chris, what do you actually think?

[Chris]

So what are you actually.

[Steve]

Yeah. And you were saying?

[Shane]

No, I was saying that we're gonna have a Halloween party and it's gonna be a bunch of fucking People from my work, and half of them are 40, you know.

[Steve]

Right.

[Shane]

This is not the time.

[Chris]

Yeah, I think it's gonna.

[Steve]

Yeah. So then I'm saying, what is your opinion?

[Chris]

Yeah. I think it's gonna wind up being like a bunch of just like our friends boozing and, like, being dressed super slutty is gonna be a little weird. Yeah.

[Steve]

Yeah.

[Chris]

But that's all. Yeah, yeah, I agree. So that's. That's what I genuinely think you can't.

[Shane]

Get in that argument.

[Chris]

Yeah.

[Steve]

What did the other side of that look like?

[Shane]

What does the other side. What is their argument?

[Steve]

Yeah.

[Shane]

That you're an insecure, controlling.

[Chris]

Which is.

[Shane]

Which is tough to. You can't break out of it. You gotta go. I don't. Fine.

[Chris]

No, I think that's a big missile in Mario.

[Steve]

I don't know. I would disagree with that argument. I would say it's not about being insecure. It's about making my friends maybe a little uncomfortable because they don't want to look at you sexually. Because me, their friend, is dating you.

[Shane]

Yeah.

[Steve]

But yet you're sort of forcing.

[Shane]

You go. You're going sharia, sharia law on this. You're mine. You're mine. Let's cover you up a little. No, And I agree. No, no, I agree.

[Steve]

Because you're mine.

[Chris]

My enemies. Enemy is my friend.

[Steve]

I'm saying because my friend. Yeah. My friends.

[Shane]

It's like, yeah, don't give Brian six a boner at the hall.

[Chris]

Right, Right.

[Shane]

But yeah, that's. That's never an argument you can win. I've been down this road, obviously. We all have.

[Chris]

Well, because you get you. Once you start getting to specifically like how long or short a skirt, you're just. You're.

[Shane]

I did that at the table. I was like, stop me. Stop me wearing the dress up your knee. Tell me where the dress stops. And if you know, when you say it, like I'm saying right now does come off a little bit controlling and abusive. But it was not. It was a fun, friendly conversation that ended up not being friendly, but at first seemed friendly.

[Chris]

I was trying to suggest a variety of costumes that maybe, you know, shouldn't require.

[Shane]

I was going to go as Frankenstein.

[Chris]

Yeah.

[Shane]

Bride of Frankenstein.

[Chris]

Yeah.

[Shane]

It's like a turtleneck, full gown.

[Chris]

Yeah.

[Shane]

That was passed upon. Princess Leia. Princess Leia was nice. You Princess Leia. Yeah.

[Chris]

I want cloud cities.

[Shane]

Princess Leia Slave Leia was. What was settled upon was just metal bikini. Princess Leia was.

[Steve]

That's.

[Shane]

That's an idea for real. It was just like, no.

[Steve]

Yeah.

[Shane]

It's gonna be 40 degrees. Don't.

[Chris]

Ms. Frizzle was in the mix.

[Shane]

That was nice.

[Chris]

That's a big dress.

[Shane]

I knew where that was going. The scuba diving episode, they editorialized Ms.

[Chris]

Frizzle a little bit.

[Shane]

Yeah. And what are you. You're still playing on the referee costume.

[Steve]

No, no, because I don't. I don't. I'm shy. And I know that that doesn't sound. I was thinking about this.

[Shane]

You're shy, man.

[Steve]

Yeah, I am shy. And I think to make this costume funny when the idea behind the costume was I'd be like. Why are you laughing?

[Chris]

Nothing. Keep going.

[Steve]

Okay. We'll come back to that.

[Chris]

Okay.

[Steve]

The idea behind the costume is of an NFL referee. I do have, like, a little mini.

[Shane]

Yeah, you're throwing party fouls.

[Steve]

You're right. And I'm hitting people with the flag and calling party fouls.

[Shane]

Yes. And I will say this has been done.

[Steve]

It has.

[Shane]

It's probably for 30 years.

[Steve]

Okay, then it's unoriginal.

[Shane]

That's. It's not. It's original to you.

[Steve]

But I'm not going to do it because, again, I just don't have the frankly balls to, like, go around and.

[Shane]

I think you do.

[Steve]

No, I don't.

[Shane]

Well, this me, because I bought a referee outfit. I was going to be wearing it when you got there.

[Steve]

You're going to be so funny.

[Shane]

It was Chris's idea to get a white hat, so I'd be the head official.

[Chris]

You know, it's just we were laughing so hard last night. If you showed up in the black.

[Shane]

Hat, just white and picking up flags, going, there's no flag.

[Chris]

Overruled.

[Steve]

I literally have it in my checkout thing. I think I'm just gonna come as like, Ben Franklin or something.

[Shane]

That's not bad.

[Steve]

Yeah, that's pretty good. Yeah, it's good.

[Shane]

It's a good way to mix in the spectacles.

[Steve]

Oh, yeah.

[Shane]

We get some glasses on.

[Steve]

Yeah.

[Shane]

So, yeah, I thought that. I thought that there was a George Washington one on Amazon.

[Chris]

Yeah.

[Shane]

But then I felt like that might be kind of cunty to invite people to your house and then wear a general's uniform. Welcome to my party. I'm the coolest guy of all time. I'm the most powerful man ever. I invented America.

[Chris]

You know, I like. I like the idea of going all revolutionary. Yeah. All ever revolutionary clothing.

[Shane]

I like it, too.

[Chris]

1770S.

[Steve]

What were you laughing at earlier?

[Chris]

I was laughing at that.

[Shane]

Picking up the flag.

[Chris]

Picking up the flag is so funny in all fairness.

[Steve]

I did. I saw that referee. It's not like an original thought. I had. I was in Manioc, and this was like, this is going back 15 years.

[Shane]

And you thought of it then. No.

[Steve]

A guy ran down the street.

[Shane]

It was like, you saw someone do it.

[Steve]

He helped it. A guy in a Spider man with a flag, 15 yards from being an F. And it was just so funny.

[Shane]

Yeah.

[Steve]

Yeah, it was back when you could say it.

[Shane]

We're bringing those back, dude. It's going. Unless Chris has anything to say about it. 30 days. You.

[Chris]

What are you talking about?

[Shane]

You know what I'm talking about. I know what you're gonna.

[Chris]

You know, we're on the same side of that issue.

[Shane]

How many votes are you gonna put in this year? You got about 20,000 last year.

[Chris]

Yeah. Yeah, I'm gonna request. I've requested 20. The whole downstairs is full of ballots. Yeah, I'm filling them out. Cat's name. Putting one in for May.

[Shane]

Nice.

[Steve]

Funny. But, hey, that was so crazy at the show.

[Shane]

Yeah.

[Chris]

Yeah.

[Steve]

Chris.

[Shane]

Chris killed the show.

[Chris]

Was sick. That was the coolest thing ever, watching you walk out in that place.

[Steve]

Yep.

[Shane]

It's uncomfortable. It's too cool.

[Chris]

I mean, from our vantage, the way that people saw you moving.

[Shane]

Yeah.

[Chris]

In the beginning and just started, like, rising up.

[Shane]

Yeah. That was crazy.

[Chris]

It was so sick.

[Shane]

Yeah. I had fun.

[Steve]

It was surreal to watch.

[Shane]

Yeah.

[Chris]

You were right. You told me that the round is better.

[Shane]

Way better.

[Chris]

It's so much.

[Shane]

Yeah. Than a stage.

[Chris]

Because all the sound hits you at the same time.

[Shane]

Yeah. Sometimes it can trick you. You're like, God damn, I'm killing. And then you get all stage, and people like. That was. That was good. How do you think it went? Dude, that bothers me so much. How do you think it went?

[Chris]

Yeah. How did you feel about it?

[Shane]

I thought it was the best night of my life. I guess I was wrong. Yeah. That was awesome. That was a fun night.

[Chris]

That was great.

[Shane]

Then little gerby babies.

[Steve]

I got to meet a pitcher.

[Shane]

Yeah. Yeah. That was awesome. You guys got to discuss pitching from the mound.

[Steve]

Yeah.

[Chris]

And then one of your buddies sold him, like, a gas tank.

[Shane]

What? You.

[Chris]

What are your. One of your buddies that was there.

[Shane]

Yeah. From home.

[Chris]

Yeah. Yeah.

[Shane]

Apparently, like, made a business deal with a pitcher from the Phillies.

[Chris]

Yeah. Yeah.

[Shane]

Nice.

[Chris]

Yeah, he's. They were talking, like. He was. They were just talking for a while, and Strong was talking about going on some big drive, and he was like, oh, you're gonna need a bigger tank for that. You're gonna Need a bigger Ted. Gas tank.

[Shane]

I'll hook it up for. Oh.

[Chris]

Oh. Driving a truck. Yeah. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

[Shane]

He was one of the guys that was a mechanic at Ardmore. Ed. Nice.

[Chris]

Yeah, it was awesome. I don't know if we should cut that out.

[Shane]

No, that's totally fine. Look at that cat. Dude. What are you looking at?

[Chris]

Yeah, he's fired up.

[Shane]

He's fired up. That's nice.

[Chris]

He's. Yeah.

[Shane]

Where's your gay cat?

[Steve]

At my gay house.

[Shane]

To do anything gay.

[Chris]

Amazing outdoors. Yeah.

[Steve]

No.

[Shane]

She an outdoorsman?

[Steve]

Oh, she's indoor. Outdoor. She's got, like, a whole backyard. I made her a garden.

[Shane]

And this guy needs to go outside very badly. They keep him in. He's a giant.

[Chris]

He can't.

[Shane]

He'd be a problematic.

[Steve]

He'd.

[Chris]

He'd get up by the groundhog. Outside would decimate him.

[Shane]

No, he could run away from a groundhog.

[Chris]

He thinks he's ready for outside, but he's not.

[Shane]

You guys are. He's ruining this boy's life.

[Chris]

No.

[Shane]

All he has to do is play with. Let him go outside. He's a big dog all day.

[Chris]

He wants to go outside.

[Shane]

He's full. Just. Yeah. James is the best ever. Let him out. I could watch that all day instead of podcasting. I could watch Chris play with the cat. What time you got to be in? Early tomorrow?

[Steve]

I do.

[Chris]

What time do you have to go in tomorrow?

[Steve]

I think 6:45. Oh, yeah. What time are you?

[Shane]

Eleven.

[Steve]

Dang.

[Shane]

Yes, brother.

[Steve]

I'm still gonna try and go to the Y tonight and work out.

[Shane]

Really?

[Steve]

Yeah.

[Shane]

You've been working out during this?

[Steve]

I have, yeah. Yeah, occasionally.

[Shane]

Did you work out yesterday? You better not have.

[Steve]

No.

[Shane]

All right, good.

[Steve]

Yeah.

[Shane]

Because I. I would have a problem with that.

[Steve]

Yeah. I was under the weather yesterday.

[Shane]

I know you were.

[Steve]

Yeah.

[Shane]

I thought you were gonna die.

[Steve]

Little disease spell.

[Shane]

We were laughing so hard last night because your face. Like, you lost all your blood in your face.

[Chris]

Yeah.

[Shane]

Yeah. Your face was ghostly white, and you had that on.

[Steve]

I got so scared.

[Shane]

At one point, you looked at me like. And I was like, holy. Like, I was even watching you during a scene. Be like, he's gonna hate the way this one comes out. He's gonna look terrifying.

[Steve]

I don't know if anybody's had this where you're just, like. Your hearing cuts out, and it's like, pop. And then. And that's normal. I've had that happen before, and I was just. And typically, I'm standing up. It happened. I was sitting down. And then I just got crazy vertigo and I was, like, sitting next to John, like, squeezing his arm, like, scare. It was scary.

[Chris]

Yeah. No.

[Steve]

And. Yeah. Then I didn't.

[Chris]

Well, it looked like you. It was because you were upset about what you were wearing. That's what made it so funny. Like, the way you walked in, it just was like. Yeah.

[Steve]

Yeah. Well, it's a lot of, like, first of all, the wig is very hot, and then there. It takes a long time to put it on and a lot of, like, fussing about it and, you know, some.

[Chris]

Does that bother you? I thought. I thought you'd like getting fussed over.

[Shane]

I love the makeup chair, bro.

[Chris]

Yeah.

[Steve]

I'm not a big fan of, like, all that because it's also, like, they put in, you know, you've had it. It's just not the most comfortable thing. But in your hair, it's. You're constantly eating fake hair. It's in your mouth. No, it's not even fake hair. It's real hair.

[Chris]

Yeah. Yeah. It's another person's hair.

[Steve]

Yeah.

[Chris]

That grosses you out.

[Steve]

Yes.

[Shane]

Yeah. It's disgusting. What are you talking about? Other people's hair in your mouth. Of course.

[Chris]

Yeah. It's never really bothered me.

[Shane]

How often does that happen?

[Chris]

Not a ton. But if I get, like, hair in the food, I just take it out. Keep it. Yeah, take it out and keep eating.

[Shane]

It's.

[Chris]

Some people will lose their minds over that stuff. Like, the whole thing. You would you.

[Shane]

I thought for sure you'd fought. Love the hair and makeup now. I don't know. You love, like, the photographers coming in.

[Steve]

I might be over it. I don't know.

[Shane]

I don't know.

[Steve]

I change. I change. I didn't used to be a shy person. And you beat that out of me.

[Shane]

Why? You're great. I'm trying to make you less shy.

[Steve]

Yeah, no, I know you are.

[Shane]

You are trying. Best to let you. I can show you the world. You have. Great. He would have killed it. Well, as far.

[Steve]

No, no, I don't have it yet. I'm working on it.

[Chris]

You enjoyed it. You would have really.

[Shane]

You would have fun.

[Chris]

Yeah.

[Steve]

I had fun watching you guys. That was so cool. It really was. Yeah, it really was. And even just, you know, you're like, wow. You know, we were driving, like, Julie and I were driving down and we were just like, driving that. She's like, there's, like teams of guys coming to watch in a van drinking beers.

[Shane]

Yeah.

[Steve]

And we're like, this is all Shane. Like, we are in Shane.

[Shane]

Traffic.

[Chris]

Yeah, yeah.

[Shane]

I got there and people were tailgating and I was like, oh, that was. Crowds are going to be out of control. And they weren't. They were, they were good, good guys.

[Steve]

They were great.

[Shane]

Yeah.

[Chris]

I've been surprised by all the shows. I mean I haven't been to that many, but the ones that I have been in that size, close to that size. Everyone's like in their seats and ready to go.

[Shane]

Yeah.

[Steve]

It's crazy.

[Shane]

Do like a minor league hockey arena in some small town. Dudes get rally. There's some fights up at the balcon and. Yeah, yeah, you see that. That's fun.

[Chris]

A fight up in the balcony.

[Shane]

Yeah. It's just old time hockey. It's fun.

[Chris]

That was the first, first time I ever saw that. I remember when I was in hockey camp in Toronto going into the like whatever skating rink. We were doing this whatever at. It was like a goalie camp and there were just dudes fresh off of just beer league, just. And it was like me and my dad walking in and they were just. They were chirping at us and talking and just Russian beers sitting on the back of their cars and stuff. Throwing beer cans.

[Shane]

Nice.

[Chris]

It was crazy.

[Shane]

They could sense the Connecticut Dandies. The Connecticut Dandies are here for hockey. That was, that was the old Canada.

[Chris]

That was a big wake up call. Oh, apparently they're still up there. They did Patriots left. Yeah. That form that big wagon train.

[Shane]

Yeah. What else is going on? Anything cool?

[Steve]

Unfortunately all the cool stuff is like the show. That's so much cool.

[Shane]

Yeah, yeah.

[Steve]

It's like 14 hours a day.

[Shane]

Yeah.

[Steve]

And then you're just gonna come home.

[Chris]

It's true.

[Shane]

You've been good though, in the show.

[Steve]

Oh really? Thank you so much, man.

[Shane]

You've been good. You haven't been grumpy on set yet. Not really.

[Steve]

Not really. It was one day.

[Shane]

That was nothing. There's sometimes though, like last year, I think we'd be done by now. Yeah, basically.

[Steve]

Yeah.

[Shane]

We should have gone back with that. What the fuck are we doing? We had it.

[Chris]

We'll just do a month.

[Shane]

Yeah. Just get done like we did last time. We'd be done with it. We could be done. Just churn it out fucking forever.

[Steve]

Yeah, we do. We've got a long ways to go.

[Shane]

But you have been less scientists, you've been less grumpy.

[Steve]

Yeah. Hey, I think. I don't think I was super grumpy last time.

[Shane]

You're a bit of a power hungry pig again.

[Steve]

Power hungry pig. You stop saying that. Everybody's gonna think it's totally true.

[Shane]

No one thinks, no one believes.

[Steve]

Okay. Thank God.

[Shane]

No, I mean, I'm not wrong.

[Steve]

What was I gonna say?

[Shane]

You were gonna say this year's better.

[Steve]

No, I was gonna. Yes, I, you know, obviously biased, but we saw a cut.

[Shane]

Yeah.

[Steve]

It's so exciting for everybody to see this.

[Chris]

Yeah.

[Steve]

Yeah, I really am. I know that that's like a thing that people say, but, boy, is this fun.

[Shane]

I think it has, like, your enthusiasm. It's fun. I would never talk that way. It's nice to hear that.

[Steve]

Okay.

[Shane]

Yeah.

[Steve]

I'm not trying to be.

[Shane]

You know, I'm going to get you on a late night TV show this year. I'm going to pants you on Jimmy Fallon.

[Steve]

That's fine. You know what? I've decided what I'm going to do. If you do that. I'm just gonna say compliments about you. That's effectively pantsing you. I'm gonna be like, you don't stop. He put me in this show he wanted.

[Shane]

You're gonna make me cry on Jimmy. That would be a good revenge.

[Chris]

Just with your pants around your ankles. Yes, complimenting.

[Shane]

You ever see that? I think it's Mark Summers and Burt Reynolds on a late night show where they. I forget. Mark Summers is like a Nicola. It's literally you and me on earth.

[Steve]

Okay.

[Shane]

He's like, it starts. He's. He's talking about his marriage and Brett Reynolds is like, shut the up. And he's like, me and my wife are still together. And the crowd's like, oh. And he like, throws his water on him. Anyway, they get in a fight.

[Chris]

Reynolds throws his water on Mark Summers.

[Shane]

Yeah. And then they're like, all right, fellas, let's settle those with a pie contest. Or like, they turn around and pie each other. Burt Reynolds hooks him in the face, like, as hard as he can.

[Steve]

Oh, my God.

[Shane]

Yeah, it's pretty crazy. Anyway, that's what's gonn.

[Chris]

And Mark Summers is like a hypochondriac, isn't he?

[Shane]

I don't know anything.

[Chris]

He's probably terrified of that pie. Yeah, I think he's like a real neat freak.

[Shane]

How do you know about Mark Summers?

[Chris]

I met him once.

[Shane]

What?

[Chris]

Yeah, I tried to shake his hand.

[Shane]

Would you? Oh, is that how you came up with that? He blew by you and your dad was like, he's afraid of germs. The guy from Nickelodeon doesn't hate you.

[Chris]

I've had him as an adult and I tried to shake his hand where he did A show at. Good, good. Once.

[Shane]

Nice.

[Chris]

Actually, no, it wasn't. Yeah, it wasn't there. It was at some other one of those. Yeah, yeah.

[Steve]

That is now a very famous golf channel.

[Shane]

Good, good.

[Steve]

Yeah.

[Chris]

Oh, yeah, yeah.

[Steve]

YouTube, because it's. Yeah, that's it. I ruined that.

[Shane]

My bad.

[Steve]

Damn it.

[Shane]

No, we love golf.

[Steve]

Okay.

[Shane]

It's good.

[Steve]

Billy's talking about doing Billy Goes out There.

[Shane]

Yeah. I mean, that could really, you know, unite the clans. Golf's fun. We all agree. Golf's fun.

[Steve]

He's got a cool vibe to him, Billy. Yeah.

[Shane]

Yeah. He's a cool guy. Cool clothes. You wish you could wear those cool clothes.

[Steve]

Of course I do.

[Shane]

You could wear those cool clothes.

[Steve]

He's got the amount of necklaces that I would like to wear.

[Shane]

I would. I would like you to wear those.

[Steve]

No. I sent Shane a picture of me wearing the Jewish one that we talked about last time.

[Chris]

Oh, I want to see it.

[Steve]

He was like, I'm going to kill you.

[Shane]

You're not even Jewish.

[Steve]

No, I know, I know.

[Shane]

You're fraud.

[Steve]

Yeah.

[Shane]

When are you going to get back into Judaism?

[Steve]

Like I said, maybe deathbed. I don't know.

[Shane]

Really? You think you put up a Hail Mary?

[Steve]

Yes.

[Chris]

Did you? You did. You got like. Did you get the mitzvah and all that stuff? Yeah. Yeah.

[Shane]

All right.

[Chris]

So you've done all the things.

[Steve]

Yeah.

[Chris]

You're in the.

[Steve]

Chris is looking at the photo now.

[Chris]

Damn.

[Shane]

Looks pretty good on you.

[Chris]

It does.

[Shane]

It does make you look actually extremely Jewish. I never think of you as Jewish. I responded with that. I was like, my bad. That was a little too much.

[Chris]

Yeah, that's a good pro Israel. Like, yeah. Twitter biopic.

[Shane]

And you are very pro Israel.

[Chris]

Excellent.

[Steve]

We're not. That's too complicated for me to have an opinion on. I want everybody to be safe. Yep.

[Shane]

Yeah.

[Chris]

World safety.

[Shane]

World safety. World safety.

[Chris]

I'm on for that, too.

[Shane]

Yeah.

[Steve]

So, like, how did the rest of Friday night go after the show?

[Chris]

Oh, it was good. Just kind of hung out.

[Steve]

Yeah.

[Chris]

Went to Bonners, drank some more.

[Shane]

Brian Regan showed up.

[Chris]

Yeah, Brian Regan showed up. That was cool.

[Steve]

He's fantastic.

[Shane]

Exciting time. And then I realized I was too drunk.

[Chris]

I got the.

[Shane]

I got the wobbles a little. And I was like, all right, I need to leave. But I would still like to argue with Chris in front of everyone. I'd be like, all right, I'm gonna go home. I gotta go home. And I'd be like, chris, just admit Russian collusion. Collusion was wrong. Just say.

[Chris]

And I'm also fucked up. So I took a bait.

[Shane]

Oh, we had a good battle, except Chris was outnumbered 10 to 1.

[Chris]

Yeah.

[Steve]

Wow.

[Shane]

I was bringing all. Billy was there. I got to just summon Billy. Billy, handle this, because I can't really talk.

[Chris]

Billy wound up going, I don't give a. About any of this.

[Shane]

It's interesting because I called him on the way over here, and he was like, chris is a. In. In your driveway. That's what he was saying about you.

[Chris]

Oh, that's so nasty. Why would he say that?

[Shane]

Because I was like, yeah, I got nothing. You got to give me something to talk about. Yeah, he was like, CEO of Abercrombie and Fitch is a pedophile. Nice. I got that.

[Chris]

That almost goes without saying.

[Shane]

Yeah, I guess it was. What's his name? Lex Wexner. Was his money guys the same as Epstein? I don't know.

[Chris]

Oh, yeah, Wexner. Is he the Victoria's Secret guy or something?

[Shane]

So.

[Chris]

Yeah.

[Shane]

Well, anyway, the next topic that the other day.

[Chris]

Where is Ghislaine Maxwell?

[Shane]

No one knows. I was saying because I was listening to Tim Dillon.

[Chris]

Oh, yeah.

[Shane]

Which is one of the best. Listen to Tim Dillon.

[Steve]

He's hilarious.

[Shane]

So good.

[Steve]

I told you, like, the one thing I think it was with.

[Shane]

But let's go back to the collusion thing, though, because that was the other topic. Can you just admit that that was kind of a false narrative now, I stand by that. You think that was real?

[Chris]

Well, it depends which version you think they were accusing him of. But I think everything in the Mueller.

[Shane]

Report, I think everything Steele dossier that ended up getting the Clintons got fined.

[Chris]

Stand by the. But everything in the Mueller report, I stand by.

[Shane]

But do you think it's okay for a political candidate to use the intelligence agencies to accuse another candidate of being a Russian spy? And then using that, putting it in the media and letting them talk about it for four years unchecked with almost no edits. No, sorry. We made him say it.

[Chris]

Didn't help that. What's his name?

[Shane]

That's okay.

[Chris]

Trump Jr. Trump Jr. Was wondering if.

[Shane]

You think that's okay. I actually grew up middle class. That's how you answer questions. You are Kambala.

[Chris]

No, Trump Jr. Admitted it during the campaign.

[Shane]

He said, we. We are.

[Chris]

Yeah, they were like. Yeah, they were like, you guys tried to meet with Russia to get dirt on Hillary, and he was. He released the emails.

[Shane]

Oh, they tried to or they did.

[Chris]

They tried to. Yeah. Well, they wound up not being. They wound up not having the meeting.

[Shane]

Oh, that's good.

[Chris]

But.

[Shane]

So they didn't do it, The Trump.

[Chris]

No, no, no, because.

[Shane]

So, wait, he ended up not killing his wife. So he is not a murderer. Not doing that crime.

[Chris]

No, no, no. He. Yeah, no, they.

[Shane]

We're out of topics. We could just talk politics or Steve's jacking off the habits.

[Steve]

I don't have anything new about the jack.

[Shane]

It's all right. You don't have to. You can think of something new.

[Steve]

Okay.

[Shane]

What do you think about this whole Russian collusion thing here?

[Steve]

I, you know, don't know nearly enough about it. I think somebody was arrested, though, from.

[Shane]

Hey, if somebody gets arrested, then they're definitely guilty. That was another argument.

[Steve]

But wasn't the person that was claiming that there was Russian collusion was actually colluding with Russia?

[Chris]

Yeah, yeah.

[Shane]

There's a couple of those.

[Chris]

Yeah.

[Shane]

It's ridiculous.

[Chris]

Yeah.

[Shane]

I don't know.

[Chris]

They got. Yeah.

[Steve]

To me, the most alarming thing is the. And not that I know nearly enough about it, but the prosecution of Trump in New York for trying to get a loan and claiming that his building was worth more than what? I guess.

[Shane]

Yeah. It was a Mar A Lago one, and the government was like, that's worth 5 million.

[Chris]

Yeah, there was a. I guess there was a bunch. Yeah. I didn't see the Mar A Lago.

[Steve]

Even though through my understanding, I don't keep enough track. Also ran its own.

[Shane]

Conveniently stopped paying attention.

[Chris]

Well, how much?

[Shane]

You're the little kid that quits when he's losing in Xbox.

[Chris]

No, no, no, I'm not.

[Shane]

You turn.

[Chris]

No, I'm not, actually.

[Shane]

You were winning, and you go, all right, we're done. Turn it off. Biden won. Trump says Trump's going to jail. Turn the game off.

[Chris]

If Biden did win, you don't think Biden won?

[Shane]

I think he did win.

[Chris]

Yeah.

[Shane]

I mean, he won.

[Chris]

Yeah. You think there was malfeasance?

[Shane]

Who knows? Do I think. No, I think there's some. Some unrest in the country that seemed to be beneficial to one side that, you know, I will say this about.

[Chris]

I was thinking about this.

[Shane]

Fired up, out of nowhere. But.

[Chris]

I will say this about Trump. I do. The thing that I really do like about Trump is that if he. He's kind of doing exactly what you'd actually want a candidate to do, which is. Which is like, he's his campaign. And all the stuff that he does hasn't been affected at all by, like, the. Like, some of the trivial bullshit that can normally nuke someone's campaign.

[Shane]

Yeah.

[Chris]

And he is, like, in Spite of his party hating him, like, for the most part. Just going to the people and using them to obliterate anyone who just disagrees. Yeah.

[Shane]

It's almost like a democracy.

[Chris]

Disagree with everything else that he's doing. But it's like. It is what you'd want a guy. It's.

[Shane]

What, a politician. I guess.

[Chris]

Yeah.

[Shane]

No, I feel like I don't use his votes. I don't like.

[Chris]

No. But it feels like there's more deal making usually. And then like the kind of the powers that be sort of like align around a person and like. And build them up and funnel money into them versus this really does feel like he's.

[Shane]

Powers to be. Just get rid of the current president and say, you're out. We're not even going to have a primary. You are the president.

[Chris]

This is vice president. Next man up.

[Shane]

If the president's dead.

[Steve]

Yeah.

[Shane]

Yeah.

[Chris]

Well, pretty close. Yeah, it's pretty close.

[Shane]

I think they're gonna throw the 25th. 26th. What is the amendment where the. The president's unfit? 23rd, 25th.

[Chris]

Something. 20. Yeah.

[Shane]

I guess they. Apparently they threatened him with that if he didn't agree to stop running this year.

[Chris]

Really?

[Shane]

And let Kamala run.

[Steve]

I have.

[Shane]

Which is interesting because he's still the president.

[Steve]

Right.

[Shane]

So I guess they didn't believe it.

[Chris]

He's.

[Shane]

Yeah. Who knows?

[Chris]

He's doing. Yeah.

[Shane]

I'm just gonna go with whoever. Dick Cheney and Liz Cheney, you know. Yeah.

[Chris]

They brought us through the dark before. Yeah. Yeah. They picked us up out of 9 11.

[Shane]

Where are you, Coward. You're gonna let me do all this?

[Steve]

I was. I was on the whole.

[Shane]

You got in there a little. You tossed one in. That was an assist.

[Chris]

Yeah.

[Steve]

Right.

[Chris]

What's the Shark Tank guy.

[Steve]

He was like, if we prosecute for people like this, New York's going to come to a total standstill because this is, like, common practice.

[Chris]

Yeah. Like inflating the value of your property for loans and then deflating them for taxes.

[Steve]

Yeah. And the. But the bank also ran their own. Whatever you would call it, appraisal of that building. So it wasn't even like they just took what he said. It's just what he was saying.

[Chris]

Yeah.

[Steve]

And they still gave him a loan. He paid it back. And then you're going to arrest him. And that.

[Shane]

That feels like maybe a political persecution. I don't know.

[Steve]

In a, like, real scary way.

[Shane]

It is the hard part that I am dumb and don't know anything.

[Chris]

That's the hard part.

[Shane]

That's also the real Hard part right now, they don't know anything either. They're listening to this, they're listening to dumb guys that don't know anything thing. Yeah, yeah, we could be on some. You never know.

[Steve]

That's just what I feel like is the pushback to Democrats, which is like this. The idea that you've got to let smart people just handle it. It's like. But then you create a precedent for something that you won't like down the road. Like, for instance, with Obama, sort of the bombing, the indiscriminate bombing. I suppose everybody was like, there's that Jewish side.

[Chris]

Yeah, yeah.

[Shane]

I suppose.

[Steve]

I think he's violating laws. And it's like, well, it's Obama. It's like, yeah, sure, okay, fine, I might trust him. But then you're setting a precedent that anybody else can be, you know.

[Shane]

Yeah, yeah. And K bomb. K Bombla is coming. World War Three is coming. That's my. Those are my favorite, like, memes. It's like Call of Duty footage. And it's like me and the boys in the Battle of Beijing 2027 because Taylor Swift told our fucking dumb girlfriends to vote for Kamala boat in Taiwan.

[Steve]

Is he saying Kim Bomba?

[Shane]

No, that's just you. That was me there. You like that one? Stop giving. Stop giving me credit for your average.

[Steve]

You know what? I was talking about you today. I was like, you know who is an incredibly good with puns? And you hide it even though I know you know it. I see you smiling. It's crazy. Your pun pun.

[Shane]

Cut it out, okay? Kirby's cut it out, all right?

[Steve]

About that, Chris, do you acknowledge that? Do you even know that that happens?

[Chris]

I think, yeah.

[Steve]

Yeah.

[Shane]

Chris has been around. Chris has been around.

[Chris]

Yeah. I've been on the receiving end of quite a few of them. But I. I was. About the us being dumb thing. I was. I was thinking about that in the car today, where I was, I was like, man, I. I wish people thought I was, like, really smart. And then I was thinking about how bad it would be if people thought I was really smart.

[Shane]

Yeah.

[Chris]

If people were coming to me with, like, real problems and being like, you're.

[Steve]

The only one who can solve.

[Shane]

You gotta set up that. You gotta set that death right off at my house. I can't set the death ray up.

[Chris]

That's the kind of problem if you got a death ray, I could say.

[Shane]

We'Ll get over there. I'm gonna need you on death.

[Steve]

Right.

[Shane]

I. I bought a 10 foot tall skeleton robot for the party. Yes, it's gonna be exciting.

[Steve]

Yeah.

[Chris]

Giant alien that looks around.

[Shane]

I'm never gonna put that thing together right.

[Chris]

So do you need a ladder for it?

[Shane]

No. Pause. I'll get on my hands and knees. We'll be good.

[Chris]

There's no way.

[Shane]

No, you get that. Put it on the ground and set it up.

[Chris]

Or it's like one of those things.

[Shane]

Where you, like, they built the pyramids. You and me came and figure out the logistics of the spirit Halloween death ray. People are going to be. They're going to watch this. Spirit Halloween death ray sales are going to go through the roof. I walked into spirit Halloween. I said, I have to have it. And then I got to the register and I found out how much it cost. It was not worth bringing it back. This is a terrible purchase, dude.

[Chris]

It makes galactic terrifying. Galactic. Yeah.

[Shane]

It turns out it's of an alien than a spooky ghost, but that's fine. Yeah. Look at this guy. 10ft tall.

[Steve]

Whoa. That's cool.

[Shane]

You're going to like it.

[Steve]

Yeah.

[Shane]

You're going to like what's going on over at my house.

[Steve]

Okay.

[Chris]

That's going to scare the goats.

[Shane]

It is. I am worried about the goats.

[Chris]

They're going to get hit with the galactic death ray.

[Shane]

The neighbors. Goats are going to. They're going to. They're going to have a. There's so much to put together on the death ray. Dude, look at this. We're ruined.

[Chris]

Oh, man.

[Shane]

You're gonna do great.

[Chris]

And you don't need a ladder. It's 10ft tall.

[Steve]

I'm gonna basketball bring my mountain bike over to your place at one point.

[Shane]

You told me this.

[Steve]

Yeah.

[Shane]

You're not gonna be riding it around on my property.

[Steve]

All right, fine.

[Shane]

Please park across the street.

[Chris]

You don't want. You don't want to see that.

[Shane]

Obviously, I want him riding around. There's some holes in those grounds.

[Steve]

No, you're right. I know. I was running around on it. It. It ran up that one hill and it's. There's some holes. I don't want to hurt myself. I would wear a lot of protection. You would make fun of it. It's something that, like.

[Chris]

Again, what kind of protection do you wear?

[Steve]

When I mountain bike, I wear, like, knee. And it's a great exercise.

[Shane]

It's.

[Chris]

It's like hockey shin guards.

[Steve]

Yeah. Because if you. The pedals. If you have like a pedal strip, like, if your foot slides off, it slams your shit. It happened once.

[Shane]

That happens. What about hurts?

[Steve]

It really hurts.

[Chris]

What about upper body elbow pads?

[Steve]

And then I wear like full face.

[Shane]

Helmet and you wear the full face helmet.

[Steve]

Yeah. I bad with the goggles. Yeah. I have to cuz Cuz otherwise my contact dries out. It's too much. But you know what? I have fun and I. I haven't gotten hurt yet.

[Chris]

No, that's awesome.

[Shane]

Yeah, it's really cool.

[Steve]

Shut up.

[Shane]

No, I swear. Please.

[Steve]

When I go to Harmony Hill, I would, like, bike there air. And a lot of times guys will be like, where's the. Where are the. Where are the jumps? And I'm like, there's no jump. It's just. I'm bad because they full face. You're typically going over.

[Shane]

Yeah. They think you're catching air.

[Chris]

He's got to tell them, go back. You got to go deep in there.

[Shane]

Oh.

[Steve]

Get a cat on your lap. Oh, that's very adorable.

[Shane]

Yeah.

[Chris]

Have you ever gone. Nobody likes the pillow? Not like. Not formally.

[Shane]

Oh.

[Chris]

I've had a mountain bike and I've gone on some trails.

[Shane]

Else I got Tito up here.

[Steve]

Yeah. Hi, buddy. Hi.

[Shane]

That's good.

[Steve]

Good to see you.

[Shane]

I do. I do want you to bring that.

[Steve]

All right.

[Shane]

Yeah, that'd be nice. Just find some pads. Riding a bike around my property.

[Steve]

Did I tell you the last Halloween.

[Shane]

You'Re gonna do a lap pretty quick?

[Steve]

Yeah, I guess.

[Shane]

It'll be very fun.

[Steve]

I was like. I did. I liked sort of practicing in my street, right outside my driveway, you know, like, I have code set up. Up.

[Shane]

Set up. What. What going? Set up?

[Steve]

Yeah, like cone set up to do slalom. To like practice your weight shift on the.

[Shane]

On your bike.

[Chris]

Yeah.

[Shane]

Your neighbors see you do this.

[Steve]

And so last Halloween, I was handing out candy and then he's like, kids coming. Like, how's the bike going? I'm like, good, good, good.

[Shane]

You're ashamed of it. They're trying to be nice.

[Steve]

So ashamed. They're so embarrassed.

[Chris]

But yeah, I committed.

[Shane]

So the kids see it. It. Which means them and their parents sit in the window and laugh.

[Steve]

Yeah. And watch me. Yeah.

[Shane]

Have you fallen off the cone?

[Steve]

Not on the cone drill, no. Yeah.

[Shane]

How fast are you going?

[Steve]

It feels fast. It's probably incredible.

[Shane]

I bet you're fine.

[Steve]

I showed you that picture of me trying to bunny hop. I barely get off the ground because I think you gotta go the video.

[Shane]

Yeah.

[Steve]

Yeah. I don't have this.

[Chris]

I could never bunny hop. I could never ollie.

[Steve]

I could never ollie either.

[Chris]

I could never see it.

[Shane]

Yes. Sucked.

[Chris]

Yeah.

[Shane]

Sucked.

[Chris]

It was really because, you know, you wanted to bully skater kids and then not being able To Ollie.

[Steve]

I just wanted to be able to. Ollie.

[Shane]

Yeah. You don't want to bully anyone.

[Steve]

No.

[Shane]

You're a sweetheart.

[Steve]

Thanks.

[Chris]

I bet.

[Steve]

Yeah.

[Shane]

This episode is brought to you by Prize Picks, the best place to get real money sports action. Prize Picks run your game. Prizepix is the best place to get real money sports action. With over 10 million members and billions of dollars in awarded price picks has made daily fantasy sports accessible to all. What do you think of that? You just pick more or less on at least two players for a shot to win up to 100 times your cash.

[Chris]

A. Billions of dollars.

[Shane]

Yeah, billions of dollars have been awarded. Wow. We're doing an ad read.

[Chris]

I can't believe everybody. I guess I'm saying everybody's doing it. Everyone's. Yes.

[Shane]

So the way Price Picks works, it'll give you a like. Like pass yards. Jaylen Herz. You pick more or less. Give you that. I don't know. Mitch. Shots on goal would be one. I'm going more. They're giving him a lot of shots.

[Chris]

How many?

[Shane]

I don't know. I can't look it up right now. But if I had to, I don't know.

[Chris]

Yeah. I would say more.

[Shane]

I would take the. More. More.

[Chris]

Yeah. Yeah.

[Shane]

More.

[Chris]

They've given him green light. Yeah, yeah, yeah. More.

[Shane]

More.

[Chris]

More than whatever they're saying.

[Shane]

Yeah, whatever. They go with. Mitch, cough from the Flyers. More shots on net.

[Chris]

Yeah.

[Shane]

And connecting. More assists.

[Chris]

Yeah. Connecting. Mitch. Golf. It's a deadly combo.

[Shane]

Don't forget about the couturier. The coots.

[Chris]

Coots isn't on the power play, though.

[Shane]

That's all right. We'll get him in there. You don't have to prove that. I don't know about. I watched three shifts this entire season. You can now win up to 100 times your money on prize picks with as little as four correct picks. Prize Picks is the best way to get action on sports in over 30 states, including California, Florida, Georgia and Texas. That's nice.

[Chris]

Yeah. Prize picks.

[Shane]

Prize Picks is the only real money daily fantasy platform with an injury insurance policy. So your lineups stay in play even if one of your players gets injured. If your player leaves in the first half and doesn't return, Prize Picks lets you keep your lineup live. We better not let Adam Egate find out about this. The Prize Picks. If you want to make a lot of money, email Adam Egate at the Comedy Mothership. Sign up today and get $50 instantly. When you. When you play $5. You don't even need to win to receive the $50 bonus. It's guaranteed. Price Picks also offers weekly promotions that can lead to big payouts like Taco Tuesday. All right, think about that. Each Tuesday, Prize Picks discount select player projections up to 25% to provide even more value on your lineups. It's a Tuesday. You're bored. Maybe you do a little Prize picks, Have a little fun.

[Chris]

Yeah. Get some tacos.

[Shane]

Prize Picks is the best way to win real money with this football season. Which players are going off, which ones aren't. Make your picks in less than 60 seconds and turn your options into real money. Turn your opinions into real money all season long on prize picks. I like that. I like that you can, you know, hit someone with a less. I'm sick of this guy. This guy's a punk.

[Chris]

Yeah. Who would you hit with a less?

[Shane]

I don't know. I don't want to be negative. Download the Prize Picks app today and use code drench to get 50 instantly after you play your first $5 lineup. That's code drenched on prizepix app to get 50 instantly after you play YOUR first 5 lineup. Out. Prize Picks. Run your game.

[Chris]

Hell, yeah.

[Shane]

Now let's get back to that exhilarating podcast.

[Chris]

I'm more like, what do you got?

[Shane]

Nothing. I'm just thinking about this podcast.

[Chris]

It's been a long day.

[Shane]

Yeah.

[Chris]

I had a long drive and a.

[Shane]

Fight about Halloween costumes.

[Chris]

Yeah.

[Shane]

There's nothing wrong with that.

[Chris]

How many more times do you think.

[Shane]

You'Ll have that fight before we'll see how Halloween goes? No, I'm. I genuinely actually don't care.

[Chris]

Yeah.

[Shane]

It's just more of a. Might be weird.

[Chris]

Yeah.

[Shane]

The scent is.

[Chris]

You might want to have a backup.

[Shane]

Yeah. Which I think they're going to because it's probably going to be cold.

[Chris]

Yeah. Sweatpants, hoodie.

[Shane]

I'll be there.

[Chris]

Yeah.

[Shane]

So here's a cloak. We got a quarterback jacket on the sidelines. Yeah.

[Chris]

We'll all go as mages.

[Shane]

What do you.

[Steve]

I've gotta have something.

[Shane]

I gotta. Fun Halloween stories. You go trick or treating.

[Steve]

I told you, I went trick or treating the one year when I was a Philadelphia Eagle.

[Shane]

Yeah.

[Steve]

And then I saw. It was, you know, like a split house. You know, the way the stair. Well, whatever. I. Door opens up, guy is coming down the steps. He's in a full gorilla costume. And I remember seeing his hand going to, like, the glove of the costume. I was just telling myself, like, it's a man. It's not a real gorilla. It's a man. And then he started Walking at me, and I just, like, turn around and start crying and running as fast as I could.

[Shane]

The full eagles.

[Steve]

Yeah.

[Chris]

Sprinting away.

[Steve]

Yeah.

[Chris]

How old were you?

[Steve]

I don't know. That was. I was probably five. My brother was Urkel that year.

[Chris]

Whoa.

[Shane]

Did he go the distance?

[Steve]

He went the distance. No, not the distance. No, no, but he would. He would, like, perform it. You had the little UNICEF things, and he'd be like, yeah, they put it in. Like, do you have any cheese?

[Chris]

Did he want the face paint?

[Steve]

No, that never even came up.

[Chris]

Damn.

[Shane]

Thank God, because that could have easily happened.

[Steve]

You could have.

[Shane]

Back then, people were like, yeah, it.

[Chris]

Of course.

[Shane]

Yeah.

[Chris]

Do the whole cop.

[Steve]

I was Dice man that one year. That was the superhero I created.

[Shane]

Oh, I thought you meant you went as Dice Clay. I was like, no, no, no, no. You went as Dice Man.

[Steve]

That's right. I one year went as a prisoner. That was second grade. I had a.

[Shane]

Did you go the distance on the prisoners? Because then it might be racist.

[Steve]

I just got that.

[Chris]

You got to make it believable.

[Steve]

Yeah. And I had a big crush on my second grade teacher, and she was also dressed as a prisoner, so we walked around the school.

[Shane]

Yeah.

[Steve]

And that. That was incredible. She. One time I came in, in the morning, she was like, I drove by your hat, I guess your house the other day because I saw you outside shooting baskets. Because I was, like, playing basketball, my brother, after school, and for, like, a month, I just played basketball every day.

[Shane]

Just waiting for it.

[Steve]

Just hoping she drive by and see. It's just like, total Huck Finn stuff, you know, like doing cartwheels in front of the. Did you ever have a crush on a teacher?

[Chris]

Yeah. What was her name?

[Shane]

We had a Australian exchange teacher, and I loved her. Fourth. Fourth grade. I spoke with an Australian accent the entire school year.

[Steve]

Really?

[Shane]

I loved her.

[Chris]

Oh, my God. Did you ever have a. Like, share a moment with her?

[Shane]

I mean, we got ice cream.

[Chris]

That's nice.

[Shane]

But there was a couple other fucking cockblocks. A couple other fourth graders.

[Chris]

I feel like I was so bad at school. I, like, knew better. Like, a teacher was unattainable for me. I never had a crush.

[Steve]

Like, I always.

[Chris]

Every interaction I had with a teacher was a fight or just, you know, bad news. I never, like.

[Shane]

Yeah, yeah, you were bad in school.

[Chris]

Terrible.

[Shane]

Like, you're. The whole time.

[Chris]

The whole time.

[Shane]

You were dumb in, like, fifth grade.

[Chris]

Yeah.

[Shane]

That's tough.

[Chris]

Not even dumb. Just. I just never did any work. Yeah. Yeah. I just. I, like, I couldn't do It. I couldn't be in class. I couldn't like, the whole.

[Shane]

Up.

[Chris]

Yeah. The whole thing would just bother me. And then every once in a while I would, like, really, like when I really got in, you know, back against the wall. I'd put together, like, a good semester or something. But it was always. My entire life was just terrible.

[Shane]

It's kind of surprising.

[Chris]

Yeah.

[Shane]

You're not dumb.

[Steve]

Yeah. Yeah.

[Shane]

But maybe you are dumb. This has been our entire friendship. I'm like, chris is smart and I hear like this. I'm like, you dumb in fourth grade? You know how you have to actually be dumb?

[Chris]

I just don't. It's. It's a lack of disc.

[Shane]

That's crazy.

[Chris]

Well, I was never, like, at risk of failing out or. Or anything like that.

[Shane]

I'm not doing that.

[Chris]

Yeah. Just couldn't.

[Steve]

Dude.

[Chris]

I remember taking just like, the multiplication tests.

[Shane]

Yeah.

[Chris]

You know what I mean? Where you just do, like, as many as you see problems. Do as many as you can in a minute.

[Shane]

Yeah, the mad minute.

[Chris]

The mad minute. And I like, I just remember by number two, I was like, you're going too slow. You're never going to get to 60. And then it would just, like. It totally just. It just turned into like, I would just beat the living out of myself until 15, 20. Yeah, it was like. It was that thing. I feel like I have the same, like, problem too when I, like when I try to remember something and like, my. If it doesn't come to me right away, I start going like, oh, my God. You can't remember anything. You're gonna like. And all I'm thinking about is not remembering.

[Shane]

Oh, well, like lines in a show.

[Chris]

Yeah. Yeah.

[Shane]

That's impossible.

[Chris]

But even just people's names, people's names.

[Shane]

The. Did I get it all right? I'm. I'm good. So embarrassing. The worst is when something you think you. You're like, in your head, you're like, I got that.

[Steve]

Yeah.

[Shane]

Like walking into a room, be like, hey, yeah. Then you have to do it. I mean, I guess that's what acting is, but I know it's hard, dude. You walk in, like, start over. I'm sorry, everybody. I'm sorry, everyone. I suck.

[Chris]

Yeah. And you're, like, thinking about how you're going to be reacting to their line, but instead you're just thinking of what your line is. You just.

[Shane]

Or you react way too early. We should put together that instead of a blooper reel, just how bad we all are at acting. There must be insane clips.

[Steve]

John Constantly, I would just say slow down to hear what they're saying.

[Chris]

It's the worst feeling when, like, this person's not even done their line yet and you're looking at the other person ready for them to talk.

[Shane]

Yeah, it sucks.

[Chris]

God.

[Shane]

It's also funny how much better John is at acting like John. How do I do it again? He's like. I'm like, all right, I'll do it.

[Chris]

Yeah. And it's the first thing that pops into my head the moment I fuck up is like. I just imagine John, like, behind that. Just like.

[Steve]

Yeah.

[Shane]

Yeah. Kirby's. What else is going on there?

[Steve]

Ah, not much. Again, I apologize for being so boring. Don't.

[Shane]

We're all boring.

[Steve]

Yeah, it's, you know, kind of wake up. I go to my trailer. Oh, I. So.

[Shane]

Oh, God.

[Steve]

Well, as a joke is kind of. No.

[Shane]

A joke to yourself by yourself? No. Okay.

[Steve]

It wasn't a joke. I do like the song.

[Shane]

You big fans.

[Steve]

I put on that. You know, the trailers have Bluetooth, so you can put on. You can put your, you know, music on. Yeah.

[Shane]

Yeah.

[Steve]

So I was. Listen to.

[Chris]

I didn't figure that out yet.

[Shane]

I didn't know that. That I'm in there eating a bucket of scrambled eggs. I asked the guy, he was like, what do you want for breakfast? I was like, scrambled eggs. That was on the menu. He gave me. Every side was scrambled. It was all scrambled egg. There was no, like, potatoes or. Like. I thought it was a meal.

[Steve]

Right.

[Shane]

It was. He put. They put scrambled eggs in every pocket of the.

[Steve]

That's hilarious.

[Shane]

Tray.

[Steve]

Yeah.

[Shane]

I got 10 pounds of scrambled eggs with nothing. No ketchup, just. Anyway, that was funny.

[Steve]

Yeah.

[Shane]

That was worse than your golf story. I had a lot of eggs once.

[Chris]

It was a medical.

[Shane]

Eggs. Yeah.

[Chris]

It was a crazy amount.

[Shane]

And he knew it was crazy. He said it. Yeah. He's like. You said scrambled eggs. When I went to the catering thing, everyone was like, it's a ton of eggs.

[Chris]

You gotta feel for that guy, for shane.

[Shane]

He's eating 20 eggs before he films.

[Steve]

Yeah.

[Chris]

I like the idea that he's, like, screaming at the runner.

[Shane]

What the. Am I supposed to focus?

[Chris]

You want to hand him a bucket full of eggs?

[Shane]

Yeah. He'll eat it. Look at him. He'll eat a box of eggs right now.

[Steve]

I was late one day. I. I, you know, I get a call.

[Shane]

Hold on. What were you listening to in that trailer?

[Steve]

Big Time.

[Shane]

Big Time by Peter Gabriel.

[Steve]

Yeah.

[Chris]

Yeah.

[Shane]

Wearing his robe.

[Steve]

No, that's. I was not wearing the robe. They Put the robe in there.

[Shane]

We danced a little.

[Steve]

Yeah, yeah, yeah. You know, I like that song, but.

[Shane]

I grew up in a small town. Everybody has small town ideas. Not me. I'm big time. That was you?

[Steve]

Yeah.

[Chris]

I just imagine you sliding around like Tom Cruise in that trailer.

[Steve]

That's what I'm saying. I kind of am a little big time right now with, you know, Shane. Whatever. Okay. So anyway, I get a call and she was like, oh, just checking to see where you are. And I'm like, I'm on my way there. I thought I was supposed to be there at 8:30. She's like, no. Or it was like 7:30. She's like, no, you're supposed to be there at like seven. And then I'm just thinking, I hope Shane isn't there, you know?

[Chris]

Yeah.

[Steve]

And by pulling, I see his car. I'm like. So then I ran. It wasn't like a far away. I ran just to like, he can't even see me walking at this house. And I come into the middle makeup, hair and makeup trailer. And the first thing Allie says, she's like, oh. She's like, yesterday Steve came in here and he was like, I'm having such a good hair day. I was like, allie, shut up. I had to tell everyone.

[Shane]

Good hair day.

[Steve]

We're having nothing but private conversations. When I talk to you, please don't get relaxed.

[Shane]

I don't like hearing these stories about you that you're this confident, like, what are you doing?

[Steve]

I like to have a good time. What?

[Shane]

You hate having a good time?

[Steve]

No, I like to have different times of good times than you have. You know what I mean?

[Shane]

He hates a good time.

[Chris]

He hates a crowded good time.

[Steve]

And I love a good time during the day. Outside.

[Chris]

Yeah.

[Shane]

Myself. Yeah. That's fun.

[Steve]

Guys that don't talk a lot.

[Chris]

I would love to see Steve forcing you to mountain bikes.

[Shane]

Can't happen. I mean, a bike could be. I like, that'd be fun. But I will say I might. I would like to join. I would like to go out with you and some strangers.

[Steve]

And golf.

[Shane]

And golf. I'd love to go with you.

[Steve]

Are they my. Hey, there is a lady. You could go out. She's so. At the. At the country club. What do you mean at the country club?

[Shane]

You say, there's a terrible woman.

[Steve]

There's a. There is one terrible woman. Everybody's told me this person is terrible. And I had a run in with her.

[Chris]

Yeah.

[Steve]

And she was just like really aggressive and rude. There was a. There was a frost Delay. So everybody was kind of in the clubhouse, and she's like, oh, you're that guy from Netflix. I saw you in a golf cart playing too slow, parked too close to the ground. I was like, what are you talking about?

[Shane]

Really?

[Steve]

Yeah. I was like, I play faster than you. And then she's like, no, you don't. She's just rude.

[Shane]

You're getting country club fights. You are Mr. Big Time.

[Steve]

Well, apparently this one has been kicked out of previous country clubs.

[Shane]

Really?

[Steve]

Yeah.

[Chris]

So anyway, it's that you don't have a permanent record. Why are they.

[Steve]

This one is corporate owned, so the other one was, like, owned by its members. This one's corporate owned, so it's apparently harder to remove her. But anyway, this one guy was overhearing it, and we were talking and then went up to the driving range, and he comes up and I'm telling everybody about this woman. Everybody's piping in with their own stories about her. And then he goes, yeah, Steve had that interaction. Then he asked for a number and it just crushed.

[Shane]

Nice.

[Steve]

Everybody was laughing.

[Shane]

Just the guys at the country club having a good laugh.

[Steve]

But, yeah, she's something else, man.

[Shane]

She's a battle axe.

[Steve]

She is a battle axe.

[Shane]

Me and her are gonna join forces, burn that country club to the ground.

[Steve]

They're gonna be so happy if you come.

[Shane]

I'm just gonna come and ruin your. Let's get a foursome.

[Steve]

No, I don't want you to ruin it.

[Shane]

Two strangers who are your buddies?

[Steve]

Yeah, I have two buddies.

[Shane]

Get your best buddies to come with us.

[Steve]

Okay.

[Shane]

I'm gonna drink an entire case of beer. Puke on the country club on the green. Puke everywhere.

[Chris]

That's funny. Breaking. Did you park too close to the green?

[Steve]

No. No.

[Shane]

Not even a little? Not even. She's just making stuff up now.

[Steve]

She definitely is making stuff off.

[Shane]

She just out of nowhere, accused. You made up stuff. Stuff.

[Steve]

She accuses everyone of stuff. It doesn't matter. No, I don't park too close to the green. No, I'm rules oriented.

[Chris]

Was it paths only that day, Chris?

[Shane]

Was it pass only?

[Steve]

No. I don't know.

[Chris]

What. Signage everywhere. If it's passed only.

[Steve]

She's a crazy person. I have no idea what day she was talking about.

[Chris]

Were you on the path again?

[Steve]

What day? I don't know. Oh, yeah.

[Chris]

She didn't cite a death. No, she just said she saw you the other day, parked. Hey, Netflix.

[Shane]

I saw you, Mr. Big Time.

[Chris]

She said, hey, Netflix.

[Shane]

And you chirped back.

[Steve]

I did. And I regretted it. Immediately.

[Shane]

Nice.

[Steve]

Yeah.

[Shane]

I mean, I'm proud of you for chirping back.

[Steve]

Thank you.

[Chris]

Yeah, you should. You should do a staggered start. You start first or she starts first. I don't care.

[Shane]

Just be on her ass and just.

[Chris]

Yeah. And see who plays at her. See who plays fast.

[Shane]

Try to hit her with a golf ball. I'll send her a message. Dust her off the plate a little. Give her a little chin music. Tell her you want to go.

[Chris]

Yeah. Can you do that? Can you. Can you find a particular slot after her and try to play through her just to demonstrate that you. Your pace of play.

[Shane]

I've never thought about that. Have you seen her.

[Steve]

What's it.

[Shane]

Can she hit the wall?

[Steve]

I have never seen her physically.

[Shane]

Good. Dude. She's been getting kicked out of country clubs. She obviously played a lot. She's probably nice. What'd she look like? Is she older?

[Steve]

She is.

[Shane]

How old? You had to guess.

[Steve]

I'd have to guess 60. 60.

[Shane]

Not as old enough to be.

[Steve]

Yeah. Not like I thought, given the stories. I thought I was going to see, like, a very old, demented woman. And it was like 60ish.

[Shane]

Put together.

[Steve]

No.

[Chris]

Damn.

[Shane]

Big dog.

[Steve]

Big dog.

[Shane]

Hell dog. She's going wild. Yeah, I would. If she was hot, this would be nice. She was hot.

[Steve]

This would have a totally different vibe.

[Shane]

Yeah. You would have gone.

[Chris]

Yes.

[Shane]

Yes, Mommy. I'm sorry, Mom. Me?

[Steve]

Yeah.

[Shane]

You want to play together?

[Steve]

Yeah.

[Shane]

And you're saying the car girls are ugly. You said that. Car girls.

[Steve]

I didn't say they were ugly. I didn't say they were ugly.

[Shane]

No, you told me all the car girls were ugly.

[Steve]

No, I did. You stupid dude. I didn't do any of that. Talk about this lady. Wait, hold on a second. Go ahead.

[Shane]

You said the cart girls left a lot to be desired.

[Chris]

And I said.

[Shane]

What do you mean you said that they're not hot.

[Steve]

Oh, my God.

[Shane]

You said. All the guys in the country club laugh. They say the girls are ugly.

[Steve]

I didn't say anything.

[Shane]

They said they g. Why are you asking like this if you didn't say?

[Steve]

Did I say it?

[Chris]

That's.

[Shane]

I don't know.

[Chris]

Maybe that's the problem with corporate ownership.

[Shane]

Are the. Are the car girls out there?

[Steve]

I don't know. I don't.

[Shane]

You've never seen them?

[Steve]

I try not to look too much because, you know, I'm 41 now. You know, I don't want to. I don't like being that guy. It's like, oh, did you see that snapper? Or whatever it is you know, the.

[Shane]

Calls it snapper.

[Steve]

This guy that used to run Chuckles Comedy Club, he's like, snapper if she want, you know.

[Shane]

So you. You don't. You respect the car girls?

[Steve]

Yeah, I try.

[Shane]

You don't. You don't even look at them.

[Steve]

I look at. I just say. I go like this, you know?

[Shane]

But when you look at them, you would tell pretty quickly if they were attractive or not.

[Steve]

Yeah.

[Shane]

Are they attractive from.

[Steve]

I don't have great vision.

[Chris]

I don't know.

[Steve]

I really don't.

[Shane]

Get out at the country club. No, don't do that.

[Steve]

Wait, hold on.

[Shane]

I would love to take this country club from you.

[Steve]

You're gonna. You have to get me into a real nice one.

[Shane]

They're gonna have a meeting at the. At the club. The big dogs gonna be there, and the ugly car girls, and they're gonna.

[Steve]

We gotta get the big dog out.

[Chris]

I like. That's what I was saying.

[Steve]

It's a country called full of attorneys. We can't get this person out.

[Chris]

I like the idea that you should.

[Steve]

There's a lot of attorneys there.

[Chris]

I like the idea that you show up on Saturday and all the car girls are hot.

[Shane]

You're like, yeah, we heard Mr. Big Time doesn't like, oh, my God, how attractive the girls are.

[Chris]

We're about to lose them. Yeah.

[Steve]

They never have uncrustables.

[Shane]

They don't have uncrustables.

[Steve]

Never. Have you ever had one?

[Shane]

You've never had one? No, I had them. They never stock them at the country club.

[Steve]

At the country club? Yeah.

[Chris]

I thought it was all just like, nuts and pretzels and stuff.

[Steve]

No, no, they have uncrustables. They never stock them.

[Shane]

Oh, so the uncrustables are gone. It's probably the big dog. Big dog gets there early. Really?

[Steve]

I'll tell you what. If we get. If you come, we get paired with the big dog. I'm drinking with you.

[Shane]

Yes.

[Steve]

That I would do.

[Shane]

How come you can't drink?

[Steve]

Because I love golf. It's just like, I don't want to. I love it, and I don't want to be buzz doing it.

[Shane]

Yeah.

[Chris]

You don't want to disrespect the game.

[Steve]

It's not even disrespected.

[Shane]

It's just like, you just want to play your best.

[Steve]

Yeah. And it just. I feel like a kid.

[Shane]

One or two might loosen you up.

[Steve]

I know. I've heard that from a lot of people, but alcoholics. There's a frost delay, and people are like, well, I guess I'M having a Long island iced tea. It's like, damn.

[Chris]

Yeah, you. Well, you gotta. At nine at the turn, you gotta reevaluate.

[Shane]

Yeah. Every time you go, this thing's not going anywhere. 65 through 9.

[Chris]

You gotta mix it up.

[Steve]

Yeah. She was like, hit. She's saying something.

[Chris]

No one talked about her game at all. Like she doesn't know.

[Steve]

Apparently she plays fast.

[Shane]

So she can play.

[Chris]

She's gonna hit if they're all calling.

[Shane]

Her a piece of shit. And now one person was like, yeah, and she sucks. She's probably good. You guys have a tournament?

[Steve]

Yeah.

[Shane]

When?

[Steve]

I don't know. I think it's passed, but yeah, we do.

[Shane]

Oh, give me the. Give me the date. I'm gonna turn that into the waste management.

[Steve]

For anyone.

[Shane]

The whole tournament.

[Steve]

Holy. I keep forgetting how popular the pod. Like, yeah, you could bring people out.

[Shane]

We could have a nice meeting the dog. We could bring. We could have a dogs meet up at your country club tournament.

[Chris]

The open.

[Steve]

God.

[Shane]

Is it. Is it going to be make it public.

[Steve]

All right. Next year.

[Shane]

Ugly car girls serving us.

[Steve]

They're not ugly.

[Shane]

I would not know. I didn't even know they were. You don't know about car. They're pretty great.

[Chris]

I didn't know. I didn't know about that.

[Shane]

Beautiful queens.

[Chris]

I always thought the pros just handled by beautiful queens.

[Shane]

I mean, very young.

[Chris]

Oh, yeah, high school kids.

[Shane]

Yeah. Now that I'm saying it, I take it back. Now that I'm saying it, I take it back.

[Chris]

Yeah.

[Steve]

As much as they are like high school. Yeah.

[Shane]

Oh, man. You're calling high school girls ugly?

[Steve]

It's impressive. No, I'm saying I don't even know if they're. They're, you know, attractive or ugly. Given.

[Shane]

Yeah, look.

[Steve]

Yeah, I. I nod, I say whatever.

[Chris]

They don't have like.

[Shane]

Excuse me.

[Chris]

Cross.

[Shane]

I'm gonna tell everyone you guys are ugly. Doesn't even have an uncrustable.

[Steve]

Oh, I shanked it.

[Chris]

Great.

[Shane]

Oh, man, I'd love to see out there. I'd love to go with you because I'm gonna it up for you and you're gonna get unreasonably angry.

[Steve]

I would be reasonably angry if you fucked it up.

[Shane]

Why?

[Steve]

You know, it's fun to make a score. I love like the tension of it, but I don't take gimme putts. I love like making everything.

[Shane]

Yeah, yeah, I understand the thrill of it.

[Steve]

Yeah. You're like, oh, I can almost beat my best score. When I was playing with those old ladies, I was about. I I was coming. If I pard the last hole, I was going to shoot an 80.

[Chris]

And then 90 was the quadruple bogey two weeks ago. Oh, really?

[Shane]

Yeah, you joked.

[Steve]

I joked so hard. They, I, I know. I talked about it briefly.

[Chris]

They know, they know the state.

[Steve]

They knew. I tell everybody like that I'm playing with what's going on so it builds attention.

[Chris]

What did they say to you after you triple quadruple bogey, the last hole?

[Steve]

Oh, you couldn't find it because like, you know, I obviously I hit one ov.

[Shane]

It was just you and old women golfing.

[Steve]

Yeah.

[Shane]

You were charming them, weren't you?

[Steve]

They were charming me.

[Shane]

You were charming.

[Steve]

We were having the timer.

[Shane]

That's your type of fun.

[Steve]

It was so great. Yeah, they were so nice. They would just like keep poking the ball forward.

[Chris]

I love that.

[Steve]

And then just worm burners.

[Chris]

Yeah, yeah.

[Steve]

And there's one, this one hole that's like really hard. I gotta got on the green too and she, she turned to me, she was like, where'd you go? I was like, I'm on the green. She's like, woohoo. I was like, yes.

[Chris]

They were just, Isn't that nice? That's whole.

[Shane]

I think it's great.

[Chris]

That's wholesome fun.

[Steve]

Yeah.

[Shane]

And then you went home and pounded your porn. You find on Reddit, you dvd.

[Steve]

I like board.

[Chris]

It's the duality of man.

[Shane]

It really is the duality. You're out there like, oh, wahoo, I got a nice score. I found a new genre on subreddit.

[Steve]

Do you ever look at like thumbnails and think, oh, that's for later.

[Chris]

Yeah, hold on, I'll try it there.

[Steve]

Yeah.

[Shane]

Cuz usually you might have that idea of like, oh, that's for later. Like you're saying next beat. Or we're gonna keep this beat going. I'm gonna start with this and go to that.

[Steve]

No, I'm saying for later.

[Shane]

Yeah, yeah, I. But then you come and you're like, I'm never gonna jack off again.

[Steve]

Oh no, I was, I was saying if.

[Shane]

Well, I don't remember it. Oh, you're saying, you see, wait, you're looking at porn when you're not jacking off. You're like, I'm keeping this.

[Steve]

Yeah, crazy. You guys do this sometimes. Do you know xv?

[Chris]

It's gotta, it's rare. It's rare, but it is all we.

[Shane]

Have down Texas way, dude.

[Steve]

Oh, is that right?

[Shane]

They took a pornhub.

[Steve]

Well, see, I'm not a big pornhub guy. Because to me, that's all like. Like, you know what you're getting.

[Chris]

Yeah.

[Shane]

And X Videos Wild card in there.

[Steve]

X Videos throws a wild card. And I'm into all that.

[Chris]

Yeah.

[Steve]

So sometimes. But yeah, they'll have some. Some. Some thumbnails that you go that.

[Shane]

And you're just. When are you doing this?

[Steve]

What do you mean?

[Shane]

So you're not jacking off, you're just looking at porn.

[Steve]

Correct.

[Shane]

Where would you be in the world while you're doing something like that?

[Steve]

Sometimes it'll be like in my, like, lawn chair, recliner, watching golf or something on tv.

[Shane]

Just toss some porn on.

[Steve]

Toss it on. I go to the website, so, you know, and you just. You see what's new.

[Chris]

Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

[Steve]

Sometimes, you know, when you're not in.

[Chris]

The mood, you let it get you.

[Steve]

It's not like I'm checking it like I'm checking for messages. You know what I mean?

[Shane]

I know, but I just like the idea of sitting in a lawn chair. I mean. Yeah. I am going to jack off later.

[Chris]

Yeah.

[Shane]

All right. We've got that settled.

[Chris]

Yeah. Because sometimes the search is so frantic when you're in the midst of it that you want. Sometimes you want a detached, objective appraisal of what's.

[Shane]

You doing this too.

[Steve]

Yeah. It's almost like a mental joke.

[Chris]

What?

[Steve]

What?

[Chris]

Yeah, yeah. What?

[Steve]

Matt was on his joke. And kick.

[Shane]

Yeah, yeah. Edging. Edging is more than you thinking. More edging.

[Steve]

What's joking.

[Shane]

Joking, I think, is pulling your dick to try to make it bigger over, like, actually stretching. Edging it. Yeah, yeah. And you do this definitely.

[Chris]

Yeah. Every once in a while.

[Shane]

Where do you do it? Just like, while you're hanging out on the couch or something?

[Steve]

Yeah.

[Chris]

I mean, I haven't done.

[Shane]

Better not be doing this in public.

[Chris]

I know I haven't done it recently, but I used to, like. Like when I was totally not in the mood, just be like, let's see.

[Shane]

I'm gonna be in the mood.

[Chris]

Yeah.

[Steve]

Yeah.

[Shane]

And you would find a video.

[Steve]

Look at the menu. Yeah. Because I got reservations later.

[Chris]

Yeah.

[Shane]

My girlfriend's gonna leave the house for 30 minutes. Five hours.

[Steve]

That is. Yeah. That is a lot of times when old.

[Shane]

Of course.

[Steve]

Yep. I know. She's gonna be out.

[Shane]

She's gonna be gone tonight.

[Steve]

Yep.

[Shane]

No, it's me time. I haven't had me time in a while. I've been me time forever. This is gonna be great. That is nice. When you're in a relationship and you get to catch a beat. Yeah. Brings Back the fun.

[Steve]

Yeah.

[Shane]

No pressure, man. I remember this.

[Chris]

Yeah. You don't have to watch someone be disappointed. It's nice.

[Steve]

God, that. Yeah.

[Shane]

You don't like when you disappoint your lover?

[Steve]

No. Why?

[Shane]

That's just a funniest thing to ask. That's all. It's just a funny question to ask.

[Steve]

Yeah. No, I don't.

[Shane]

The way I look at it, she better get hers, because I'm gonna get mine. That's the Bernie Mac said on. That is as funny as it gets in his. Kings of Comedy said he has, like, a cuck joke, which I didn't even know they're making those back then.

[Chris]

I don't even.

[Shane]

He does it one at one part of the set. He's like. He's like, y'all, for 45 minutes. What you got to prove? Three minutes.

[Steve]

Yeah.

[Shane]

That's all it takes. And she better get hers, because I'm gonna get mine. She's like, I'm gonna go get a younger man. Go get a. I'll watch. I'll be in the corner. It's, like, really good.

[Steve]

That is hilarious.

[Shane]

God damn. The Kings of Comedy.

[Chris]

He's the best.

[Shane]

Bernie Mac sets the. No, it's Kings of Comedy.

[Steve]

Do you remember the one. His set from the apartment.

[Shane]

Yeah.

[Steve]

Yeah. I'm not afraid of you.

[Shane]

I ain't scared of you.

[Steve]

Yeah.

[Chris]

That could be a fun thing to re.

[Shane]

Watch.

[Chris]

Is just the Bernie Mac show.

[Shane]

Yeah, I'm sure it's great.

[Chris]

Yeah.

[Shane]

Yeah.

[Chris]

Did that come? Did that come?

[Shane]

Wait. Oh, man, I miss Matt. We need Matt.

[Steve]

Yeah. Yeah. He's.

[Shane]

Wonder what he's up to. I wonder what he's got going, you know?

[Chris]

He is.

[Shane]

He's a guess. What do you think he's up to? He's up to something. Yeah.

[Chris]

He's always, like, working on something he's working on, like, so learning instruments is. I can't believe how good he is at instruments. I don't know when he picked that up. Was that late in life? Yeah. Yeah. Get out of the house. Yeah. Yeah. Where do you find the time? And then he's always. I, like. I was dabbling a little bit.

[Shane]

He always played guitar.

[Chris]

Yeah. Oh, really? Like, since he was a kid.

[Shane]

Yeah.

[Chris]

I was dabbling a little bit in the. That Jungian psychology stuff. I meant to talk to him about it. Like, the dark. Your shadow self.

[Shane]

Yeah, I don't. I don't like that stuff.

[Chris]

You would.

[Shane]

If you like some of this stuff.

[Chris]

If you read.

[Shane]

Of course. I just like the ones that affirm my Beliefs.

[Chris]

Yeah, yeah.

[Shane]

Not, not anything that questions it.

[Chris]

No, I, I was, I was reading.

[Shane]

This is a good Healthy Way to Live. Nothing challenging.

[Chris]

Yeah. But this, it is. They're like, I was reading a book that I guess Young had like put together with his. Some of his students or whatever, and it's just, it's just page after page of. It's like locker room pump up speeches.

[Shane]

Nice.

[Chris]

About just battling inner demons. It does get you fired. The up.

[Shane]

That's good.

[Chris]

Yeah, it's. It's fun to. That's how you get hooked in. Because they don't really make arguments that they're right. They're just like, here's the thing, here's the thing, here's the thing. This thing. Yeah.

[Shane]

Whatever happened with you two? You guys were intellectuals for a while.

[Steve]

Yeah.

[Shane]

You guys are like Sam Harris guys.

[Steve]

Yeah.

[Shane]

Weren't you guys like space. Elon Musk, space guys?

[Chris]

Yeah, yeah.

[Shane]

Whatever happened. Oh, you turned on him because he bought Twitter.

[Chris]

I didn't turn on him.

[Shane]

Sure, sure.

[Chris]

I still watch the SpaceX launches. I saw them land the super fucking.

[Shane]

It was fucking awesome thing on Elon Musk worked a little. People that don't know him at all are like, yeah, fuck that guy. It worked. The hippies.

[Chris]

Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

[Shane]

Did a good job of tarnishing his. I mean, not that he, he's out there. He picked aside. He's out there, but he got pushed to his side. But he certainly picked aside.

[Chris]

Yeah, he's out there doing some wacky stuff. But I still like the. I like when he, Whenever he tweets the Tesla's doing well, I get excited. Whenever he tweets, tweets about SpaceX, I get pumped.

[Shane]

You guys are intellectuals, though. You're a big Sam Harris man.

[Steve]

Yeah. It's just. Yeah. If you're. You're asking like, what happened? It's the same thing, I think, with comedy where you're just like, I'm not good at this. Honestly.

[Shane]

Like, I think.

[Steve]

To try and have an actual, an opinion on something, like to be educated is really hard.

[Chris]

Yeah.

[Steve]

And not turn into like a douche.

[Shane]

It's just like that's what you guys were up against.

[Steve]

Yeah.

[Shane]

You guys were about to be going toe to toe with that.

[Chris]

Yeah. And there's.

[Shane]

Because that's where the intellectual thing eventually goes.

[Chris]

Yeah.

[Shane]

Matt does a good job with it because Matt's very funny about it.

[Chris]

Yeah.

[Shane]

But if you pursue the intellectual, what are you gonna give a speech?

[Chris]

Yeah. It's brutal. And, and also.

[Steve]

And yeah.

[Shane]

You. And then What?

[Steve]

Your whole identity sort of kind of gets wrapped up in it to where it's really difficult to.

[Chris]

Getting focused on trying to change other people's minds sucks. I think. Getting worried about. Yeah. You're basically worrying what's going on.

[Shane]

Oh.

[Chris]

Worried about, like. Yeah. Trying to change someone's mind sucks. That's why I like Matt's. Matt's intellectual stuff is personal. Is a personal journey.

[Shane]

Yeah. Especially because he. He's telling me most of the time, and I'm always like, yeah, I don't like that. He's like, that's fine if you don't like it.

[Chris]

Yeah.

[Shane]

I don't just talk about football. That's what people want. Our podcasts. They want football.

[Chris]

Yeah. But you do a little bit of the same thing.

[Shane]

What do you mean?

[Chris]

I feel like you. You're like, a historical intellectual.

[Shane]

I thought I was till I opened my mouth on a podcast and then read comments. Turns out I don't know.

[Chris]

Yeah. But. Yeah. Do they know anything?

[Shane]

No.

[Steve]

Yeah.

[Shane]

They're commenting on the Internet.

[Chris]

Yeah. Sometimes you got to read a story.

[Shane]

About a guy, and then some people know. Yeah.

[Chris]

Yeah.

[Shane]

Every once in a while, a dork will drill you on YouTube and be like, fuck it. They'll put a link in there. Damn, I was wrong. Way out of line. Way out of line.

[Chris]

But then you get to be right once you read the thing.

[Shane]

Yeah. Oh, you change your mind. You were wrong.

[Chris]

Yeah. You grow. You could change. I'm still waiting for that day.

[Shane]

It's.

[Chris]

I'm still waiting for that day.

[Shane]

Well, I think we've probably hit a wall on this one.

[Chris]

Yeah, we're deep.

[Shane]

Kirby's. You got any gross shit you're up to?

[Steve]

I don't.

[Shane]

I do like to hear about your sexual ways.

[Steve]

I know.

[Shane]

It's okay if you don't have any. You've been busy. You're probably tired from work.

[Steve]

It is. That's why I feel so bad. I.

[Shane]

You haven't been able to pleasure your woman as much because you've been tired.

[Steve]

It's. Yeah, there's just not a lot.

[Shane]

Do you just lay on the bed and let her have at it?

[Steve]

No.

[Shane]

Do. Lay down.

[Steve]

I do some groundwork.

[Shane]

Go ahead. Do what you will.

[Steve]

Yeah. I apologize.

[Shane]

Stop, dude. You're.

[Chris]

You're fine. Apologize about. I feel that you hit it right on the. Right on the head. So our whole day is doing something that we shouldn't be talking about.

[Shane]

Yeah.

[Chris]

And then the rest of the day, I just. I look. Stare vacantly. I've been watching Harry Potter. That's it.

[Shane]

That's fun.

[Chris]

It is fun. Harry Potter.

[Shane]

Dumbledore dies and Snape's the man.

[Chris]

I know that.

[Steve]

I know that going into it.

[Shane]

As soon as Sadie told me she was like we're watching Harry Potter. He's Chris has never seen. I was like double door. And you actually did not know that. I don't knew Snape was a good guy.

[Chris]

I knew Dumbledore. I think I took all the stuff I've sort of seen on one level or another. But I haven't like actually watched the movies.

[Shane]

Rules.

[Chris]

Yeah, they're really good. Order of the Phoenix was awesome. And Dumbledore fucking hit turn it. Just disappearing with the phoenix.

[Shane]

I don't remember which ones are which. I remember I farted real loud during a Harry Potter because my. My friends loved Harry Potter. So we. We would go to like the midnight showings.

[Chris]

Yeah.

[Shane]

And in Harry Potter I hit a nice fart on a silent moment. It became a thing I liked to do. Was fart as loud as I could during. And it was. This is back when movie theaters were packed, you know.

[Steve]

Yeah, yeah.

[Shane]

And yeah, it's very fun.

[Steve]

It's hilarious.

[Shane]

Silent moment for us.

[Steve]

Yes.

[Chris]

Did you get a laugh?

[Steve]

Yeah, crushed.

[Shane]

You get a big laugh. It's one of my favorite videos ever.

[Chris]

At risk of shooting your pants.

[Shane]

No, you know. You know hit farts, bro.

[Steve]

What were you saying?

[Shane]

My favorite video is a guy farting during Oppenheimer. The. When they press it, it's like three dude. It's just silent. Before the bomb goes off. There's a video guy farting. Like six people are in the theater. There's a guy in the front all the way by himself. Like. But it's just. It's wonderful because they wasted the movie's 90 hours long and they finally got the most important part. And a guy's like, yeah, it's great. It's fun stuff. Me and Soda went to a Down syndrome movie theater once when we were on the road. I always thought those were fiction. They exist. Everybody. Everyone working there had down. So like popcorn guy. Oh, ticket guy, everybody. And which was great. They were pumped. Every you go in, they're like what movie you gonna see? I forget what it was. They're like, it's incredible. It's gonna win best picture, I think. Think. But we got in there, the guy farted real loud. And we were dying laughing like that for out the whole movie. We were laughing because it was just. It was an empty. We were. We're in like Albany New York or one of these places on the road. And just during the day, saw a movie. So the theater's empty other than us. And like, a guy, like, three rows behind us, and he farted. So we were howling, laughing the rest of the movie. We couldn't stop laughing. And then at the very end, I looked back up when we were all getting ready. I was like, who did this? I can't wait to see this, man. Man. And he also was mentally disabled. Dude. Zipping up and down his jacket like, 10 times. I was like, shouldn't have been making fun of that guy.

[Steve]

Yeah, dude.

[Chris]

I bet that place ran smoothly.

[Shane]

It did.

[Chris]

Yeah.

[Shane]

They were hyped.

[Chris]

Yeah.

[Shane]

Everybody was happy to work there.

[Chris]

Yeah. It's. That's heaven. Popcorn, soda.

[Shane]

Popcorn, soda. Stoked on every movie. They.

[Chris]

Yeah. Go to every movie for free.

[Shane]

They kept coming in to watch the movie. Just a Mob coming for 45 minutes. Be like, oh, gotta go back to work. It's a good, good gig for this. Damn. Well, that's good. Yeah, we'll get some more. We'll get fired up. We'll get a daytime one coming up.

[Steve]

Okay.

[Shane]

Where we're a little more.

[Chris]

Yeah.

[Shane]

We'll think of something funny. We could get Kyle on She's under the Weather. Everyone's sick.

[Steve]

Yeah.

[Chris]

Yeah.

[Shane]

There's gonna be some rough takes this week. Kylo is sick as. There's gonna be some lines in the show where she's like, this is not usual. All right, well, we'll be back. Yeah, we'll get it. We'll get it next week.

[Chris]

We'll get a daytime, but maybe a weekend one.

[Shane]

Weekend one would be nice.

[Chris]

He threw a couple Bruskies.

[Shane]

Bruskies in there.

[Chris]

Yeah.

[Steve]

So you could have three.

[Chris]

I'm out.

[Steve]

I. My gun just clanking. I don't know how you guys do it.

[Chris]

No, no, no.

[Shane]

It's pretty easy.

[Steve]

All right. Yeah.

[Shane]

You can have the best time of your life every single day. You take four days off and go, what the beans ever sucks? I'm gonna get up as soon as Friday is done.

[Chris]

And then it's also a help if politics comes up. You don't look at the floor and go, yeah, it is complicated, right?

[Shane]

Hey, listen, you're a dumbass. You don't know. I actually. No, I listen to Tim Dylan. Yeah, no, it's. I. I was jealous before. It. It's almost like when you're single, jacking off is kind of sad. Same way like drinking when you don't have. Really work during the day is kind of like, God damn, what am I doing?

[Steve]

Yeah.

[Shane]

Now you work Monday through Friday. You go, I got to be sober. Friday is going to rule.

[Chris]

Yes.

[Shane]

You know what I mean? It's back. The thrill is back.

[Chris]

And Saturday can rule.

[Shane]

Saturday is going to rock, dude. The Halloween party.

[Steve]

Yeah.

[Shane]

I might kill you at the Halloween party.

[Steve]

Yeah, you gotta kill me. Yeah.

[Chris]

Sunday is the real. That's the question.

[Shane]

I. I almost. I almost fell on Sunday. I was just sitting by myself watching the Eagles. I had that fridge full of beer for the night before. I could. I could have a couple, and I got a text that was like, 7:00am call time. I can't have one or I'll quit the show.

[Chris]

That's this. This. Yeah. The scary Sunday is the scariest because you. You go. I'm so hungover. One would actually help.

[Shane]

Just one.

[Chris]

One would actually. Eleven. Holy.

[Shane]

I'm back. Two is gonna make me feel even better. We're rolling. All right, we gotta stop Kirby's. You gotta. You gotta go to bed.

[Steve]

I gotta go to the gym.

[Shane]

Nice. Oh, you're jacked this season.

[Steve]

No, I'm not jacked.

[Shane]

Getting your clothes tailored. You're gonna be the most handsome guy.

[Steve]

Feel so much better if I.

[Shane]

Of course.

[Steve]

Yeah.

[Shane]

I'll leave you alone. All right. Thank you, Stephen.

[Steve]

Thank you.

[Shane]

You seem really sad about this.

[Steve]

I. Because I. I know how, like, much you're carrying here, and I don't want.

[Shane]

I'm not carrying anything. Yeah, this is.

[Chris]

You know, we'll get another one going, all right?

[Shane]

Yeah. What are you talking about? You carry this with your golf stuff.

[Steve]

I gotta. I gotta come prepare with a list.

[Shane]

Really?

[Steve]

Yeah. I gotta do better for you. I gotta do better for you.

[Shane]

You'll be able to think of some stuff.

[Steve]

All right, We'll.

[Chris]

We'll. You and I will make a list next time, right? We'll compare notes.

[Shane]

Thank you, everyone. See you.