Ep 528 - Magic Burrito (feat. Nate Jackson)

Summary

Matt and Shane's Secret Podcast: Episode 528 - "Magic Burrito" (Feat. Nate Jackson)

Hosts: Matt McCusker & Shane Gillis
Guest: Nate Jackson
Episode Duration: Approximately 87 minutes

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Introduction

In Episode 528 titled "Magic Burrito," hosts Matt McCusker and Shane Gillis welcome comedian Nate Jackson as a featured guest. The episode is a blend of humorous anecdotes, personal stories, and lighthearted banter, showcasing the chemistry between the hosts and their guest.

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Discussion Highlights

1. Nate Jackson's Viral Clip ([00:15] - [01:23])

• Topic: Nate discusses a viral clip featuring a young boy behaving erratically, which sparked rumors about the child having Tourette's Syndrome.
• Notable Quote:
  • Matt ([00:15]): "I couldn't find it. I was trying to show my wife."
  • Shane ([01:21]): "All clips associated with Keaton are perfectly fine to post."

2. Perceptions of "Freakiness" and Sexual Identity ([03:25] - [05:09])

• Topic: The hosts engage in a comedic exploration of what constitutes being "freaky" versus being gay, touching upon societal stereotypes and perceptions.
• Notable Quote:
  • Matt ([03:25]): "You just get gay at the end. That's gay."
  • Shane ([05:05]): "But white guys kind of really play with that, like a lot."

3. Pokémon and Surveillance ([07:04] - [10:27])

• Topic: Transitioning to lighter subjects, the conversation shifts to Pokémon Go and concerns about surveillance through apps like Ring doorbells.
• Notable Quote:
  • Shane ([10:27]): "What's that show where they let people try to get away now?"
  • Matt ([10:13]): "Like, how do they get disability? Like, they're chasing someone and twisted and."

4. Car Accidents and Personal Experiences ([10:38] - [25:46])

• Topic: Matt shares personal stories about minor car accidents caused by multitasking while driving, such as eating tacos or drinking, leading to humorous yet cautionary tales.
• Notable Quote:
  • Matt ([19:14]): "It's still not gonna do anything."
  • Shane ([20:54]): "What the."

5. Workplace Injuries and Compensation ([25:09] - [30:55])

• Topic: The discussion delves into workers' compensation, particularly for police officers, highlighting the challenges of proving injuries and the benefits of disability claims.
• Notable Quote:
  • Matt ([25:09]): "But if you can prove that you're hurt because of the job, you'll just carry cop benefits for the rest of your life."
  • Shane ([28:04]): "35, bro, that's not enough. To never be able to grip again."

6. Advertising Breaks ([30:02] - [43:06])

• Topic: The podcast briefly includes advertisements for products like BlueChew, PrizePIX, and True Classic T-shirts. These segments are promotional and not part of the main content.

7. "Magic Burrito" Concept ([43:06] - [46:43])

• Topic: The hosts introduce the term "Magic Burrito," humorously describing it as a makeshift kit for personal needs, reflecting on youthful experimentation and self-exploration.
• Notable Quote:
  • Shane ([43:17]): "A magic burrito was a hotel lotion wrapped in a face towel."
  • Matt ([44:04]): "It's true. Yeah, they. They should."

8. Dating and Online Presence ([46:44] - [83:38])

• Topic: A significant portion of the episode explores the impact of fame and online presence on personal relationships and dating dynamics. Nate shares his experiences with dating apps, dealing with mistaken identities, and the challenges of maintaining genuine connections amidst popularity.
• Notable Quotes:
  • Nate ([58:45]): "Now, I'm on tour right now. It's called the Super Funny World Tour, and I'm rolling and it's going really good."
  • Shane ([75:06]): "Madame Lou Graham... had like a steel."
  • Matt ([77:03]): "And the messages came in way faster."

9. Historical Anecdotes and World Wars ([49:06] - [55:50])

• Topic: The hosts touch upon historical events, including the influence of prostitution during the development of Seattle and anecdotes related to World War II and the Korean War, blending humor with historical references.
• Notable Quote:
  • Shane ([51:06]): "Madame Lou Graham... was a madam of a brothel that is now the Pioneer Square district of Seattle."

10. Closing Remarks and Future Plans ([83:06] - [87:40])

• Topic: The episode concludes with the hosts and Nate discussing future collaboration opportunities, promoting Nate's comedy club in Tacoma, Washington, and contemplating potential joint shows that combine their comedic talents.
• Notable Quote:
  • Matt ([87:06]): "Let's do it, dude. I'm down, dude. I can't wait."
  • Nate ([87:40]): "I'm wired. I went from, like, yawning to, like, let's play part cheesy, yo."

---

Conclusion

Episode 528 of Matt and Shane's Secret Podcast offers a humorous and candid look into the lives of comedians navigating fame, personal relationships, and everyday mishaps. With Nate Jackson's engaging presence, the episode balances comedic storytelling with relatable experiences, making it an entertaining listen for fans and newcomers alike.

Notable Takeaways:

• Navigating Fame: The challenges of maintaining authentic relationships amidst a growing online presence.
• Personal Anecdotes: Humorous stories highlighting the quirks of everyday life, from minor car accidents to dating mishaps.
• Historical Insights: Light-hearted references to historical figures and events, adding depth to the conversation.
• Future Collaborations: Exciting plans for potential joint comedy projects between the hosts and their guest.

Whether you're tuning in for the first time or are a long-time listener, Episode 528 delivers laughter, insightful moments, and a glimpse into the camaraderie of three comedic minds.

Transcript

[A]

Oh, hell yeah. Nate Jackson. Dude, making it easy for me, bro. You got the name tag on. Yeah.

[B]

God damn, dude.

[A]

Yeah, it's awesome.

[B]

Right up top.

[A]

Showed up to work, bro.

[B]

A little narcissistic jacket. My bad, dude.

[A]

So I, I saw your. Your clip and I think you took it down with a freaky ass little boy.

[B]

I don't know. I think it's up.

[A]

Is it up? I couldn't find it. I was trying to show my wife.

[B]

That's like air eaten.

[A]

Yeah. With the kids like licking. He just keeps licking.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

So that's still up. I thought it was down because after I watched it I was like, oh, maybe he has like a, like a tick or something.

[B]

No, he didn't have a tick.

[A]

What was he doing?

[B]

He was just a badass little kid that saw himself on the screen and he said, same thing I would have did if I was a kid. The exact same thing. I'm like. You know what I'm saying? Literally.

[A]

Yeah, I remember he was with like an older. I guess it was his parents or grandparents.

[B]

Grandparents, yeah.

[A]

And he was just eating. It was just like the focus. Then you're talking to, I think his grandfather and he just. This little kid started just going.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

That'S pretty funny though. Either way, I'm telling you.

[B]

No, I'm. I'm doing like two to three. Oh. So it got very freaky ass little boy freaky.

[A]

The young freaky. That's right there for sure.

[B]

It's right there. People are like, they had. Somebody just randomly decided that he had Tourette's. And I was like, he super didn't and I didn't. Somebody wrote me.

[A]

They were like, I think he did, dude.

[B]

Hey, all clips associated with Keaton are perfectly fine to post. And I was like, wait, but who's Keaton? They're like the little boy.

[A]

Freaky ass little boy.

[B]

They had to remind me. And I was like, oh, okay, bet.

[A]

Oh, so they, they got the. Okay.

[B]

They wrote me. It was like, just so you know, it's okay to use the. Yeah, it was fun. I watched it and he was doing those little faces and.

[A]

But nah, man, that's what, that's what I thought. I thought he genuinely did have like a tick.

[B]

Right. And. But have you also seen every other little black kid that sees himself on a scre. I mean, he got one response and he was like, oh, here we go, wigging out.

[A]

True. I mean, look, he was there, you know, he was there and he was licking the air. And it did, it did like change because it was. I was watching like, what the fuck is this kid doing? And he was just licking the air. And then once you start talking about him, he started like he was killing, going.

[B]

That's what was happening.

[A]

He was murdering.

[B]

Motherfucker had timing and everything. Every time I just. Any little gap or a pause of me taking a breath, he was like, let me fill that space.

[A]

Oh.

[B]

And I'm not looking at the screen. I just see the. I see the explosion. I'm like, what am I missing? I turn around and there he is with. I'm like, oh, hell no.

[A]

Yeah, he was young too, man.

[B]

He was like five. I don't know how white people do that. Yeah.

[A]

When they bring like a five year old out, it's like the casino.

[B]

You see the casino literally probably did the origin story of a comic from 2055.

[A]

True. Well, thanks for coming, bro.

[B]

No, man, thank you for having me.

[A]

Appreciate you for coming here. You're.

[B]

You said your world is real bad. Really, dog, I. I've been on the road for hella days. I flew. I could have been home right now.

[A]

I know, dude. I really appreciate that.

[B]

When I came back because I wanted. I'm here for this.

[A]

I didn't think. Yeah, I was like. When you were like going.

[B]

Other people are like, hey, I'm in Austin for something else and if I swing through. No, I flew my ass here from a gig to be here to do that. I wanted to do this.

[A]

I appreciate you, man.

[B]

It's a big deal.

[A]

Thank you, man.

[B]

This. I'm. I'm feel. I feel blessed to be here.

[A]

Yeah, dude. We're forging a connection. I feel blessed as hell. I feel right now, dude, I'm. My ass is wet, dude. I'm. I'm just going to go to the other way.

[B]

You see how it happens? Do you see what I'm saying?

[A]

I know. I actually do get freaky as hell. By the way. Are you in? You know, we're just jumping in. How freaky would you say you are? I don't.

[B]

Look, I don't give a personal spectrum to freakiness. Right.

[A]

I'm saying how freaky. I mean, it's really. This gay is the end of it. You just get gay at the end. That's gay.

[B]

Is the freakiest. Yeah, but isn't that. That's a new spectrum though, right?

[A]

Yeah, I mean, it's the tip of evolution.

[B]

Straight from like, let's say 1 to 10. And then when you hit 10.1, now you're gay.

[A]

It's like the evolution moves In a spiral, it just jumps to a whole different.

[B]

But there's another spectrum again. What's. When they hit 10.1 on the gay scale, where do they go?

[A]

I think it's when you start like eating women and stuff. Like eating their legs. I think once you're done. Yes.

[B]

Like this. Based on the recent. I just want to like, where's baby?

[A]

Depends where you. It's like a bullet. Depends what you do with it.

[B]

A bullet you could just give.

[A]

Yeah. Like a bullet by themselves or like nothing. It just depends. Are you shooting somebody?

[B]

Jewelry.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

Right.

[A]

So it's like. So I think baby oil depends what you're doing.

[B]

If you throw it as hard as you can, it's still not gonna do anything.

[A]

The bullet, you're saying? Yeah, exactly. It depends on. It depends on your intention. So baby oil again, you can give you.

[B]

What else would you throw as hard as you can rock. Okay. Thought you're talking about like your dick or something. But so if you don't.

[A]

I do throw that as hard as I can to little effect usually.

[B]

Okay. So straight. Freaky, freaky, freaky, freaky. Watch out. You know, went too far.

[A]

Yeah, exactly.

[B]

But you can't get back down into the freak. You can't.

[A]

Once you go over, people are doing it, though. Milo Yiannopoulos was like a famous gay guy. He's not gay anymore.

[B]

What?

[A]

Little Nas X claims he's not gay anymore.

[B]

You can't.

[A]

He sucked the devil's dick, dude. He did it.

[B]

You can't. You can't un. Gay.

[A]

I didn't. I don't think you can either. But these guys are doing it and they're making millions.

[B]

Dabbled in gay. No, you can't.

[A]

Yeah, you can't. You can't go back.

[B]

But you're. But white guys kind of really play with that, like a lot.

[A]

Yeah, we're gayer, definitely.

[B]

For sure. Like nut check in and white guys got your dick. Like, you guys are fun with it.

[A]

We have fun with it.

[B]

You guys are wild.

[A]

I will say. And this. This is actually. This could be debatable. But I feel like when black guys do become gay, they like really quantum leap into, like, very gay. Does that make sense?

[B]

I don't know. I think everyone's channeling the same black auntie. That's been my experience. Why is a gay person from Austin, Seattle, Louisiana. Chicago, Germany. Why do they all sound like. Yes, bitch. Why do they all sound like my mom?

[A]

Even gay white guys do it. Gay white guys go. They like jump in on it too. Or every night?

[B]

Every flight. Every flight.

[A]

Oh, dude. Yes, that's true.

[B]

Sugar, Can I get you something to drink, sugar?

[A]

Yeah. You're like, why just. Chad, you're a 29 year old white guy. Why are you talking?

[B]

What's this going on?

[A]

I think they think just from being gay, they get to just like take the whole menu and be like, yeah, I'll be a black lady too. I'm gay. I'm fucking.

[B]

Right. But nobody's like a gay old white auntie.

[A]

True.

[B]

Do you understand what I'm saying?

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

Like when they want the razzle dazzle, they go black auntie.

[A]

They do. Yeah. They don't just like sit at like a kitchen table quietly smoking a cigarette.

[B]

They all sound like Jennifer Lewis.

[A]

I don't know why that's been a recent development.

[B]

No, it hasn't really.

[A]

They've been as long as I know. Really?

[B]

Channeling the same voice, same auntie, same snaps. Yes.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

Why is that really?

[A]

I don't know.

[B]

Dude, you're from Wisconsin. Yeah. You guys don't snap.

[A]

Yeah, that's.

[B]

Unless you're calling cattle or something.

[A]

Yeah, that's. They need to hear about that. They need to stop that. If I, If I see that again, if I see that happening, I'm going to be like. Because my wife. I'm not like bragging, whatever. My wife's black, so let me deal. But like, she'll get those guys fired up on the airline.

[B]

Huge deal as far as deals go. What? My wife's black. No big deal. Moving on. Her hands aren't though, on the inside. So that's the part.

[A]

I let her touch me with gay white guys in the airplane. She'll be like, yeah, and they just.

[B]

Like, she turns them up.

[A]

Manchurian candidates.

[B]

Look at Joe.

[A]

Okay.

[B]

Servant.

[A]

Exactly, exactly.

[B]

And you're just sitting there like, oh, my God.

[A]

She fires them up. They feed off each other. But I think she.

[B]

What are you doing while that's happening far?

[A]

I just have my headphones on looking down and I'm like. I tell her, I'm like, yo, stop getting the gays fired up.

[B]

Like an entire Pokemon having an evolution in front of you. And you're not gonna watch that. What do you mean?

[A]

I tell her, I'm like, dude, you're.

[B]

Getting these guys fired up. You don't want to see that.

[A]

Have you been watching Pokemon? Because that's a.

[B]

When I was a kid.

[A]

That's a deep Jigglypuff song. Is a deep cut.

[B]

Yeah. I mean, I got no stuff.

[A]

I'm Watching Pokemon again right now with my kids.

[B]

The whole thing.

[A]

Yeah, it's so good, dude. I'm watching with my kids.

[B]

But they need to do live action.

[A]

You mean like the live action movie?

[B]

I know they have like the Pikachu movie where it's like an old dude's voice. But I mean like, why not? The battles and stuff. I do. I don't.

[A]

I would love that Pokemon. It holds up. I'm rewatching it and I'm like, the show. I was right. The show.

[B]

The game.

[A]

Yeah. Played on Game Boy.

[B]

No, the one where like you have to catch them in real life on iPhones. Where people just like in random field where people were getting hit by trains and shit.

[A]

I think so, dude. They also said that was like a spy app. They were like using that to like see everyone's location. Because if you had millions of people playing that, you could big sweet and zoom in anywhere in the country.

[B]

And what do you do with that information?

[A]

Be Chinese with it. I don't know, dude. Just do your shit.

[B]

More. We know where they all are right now. Everyone in same place. Wow.

[A]

He thinks he has a Charizard.

[B]

Right? If we release the Charizard, we.

[A]

I don't know, man. I guess to like, what is the point? I don't know. That's what. That kind of event.

[B]

That's why I don't understand about the TikTok stuff either. I'm like, the. Do they want to know about us? Yeah. That we can do this shit all day? What?

[A]

Yeah, they tell us Yao Ping. They're like. They're doing a Soulja Boy.

[B]

Right. Our rich aren't on Tik Tok. What do you want?

[A]

I. I wonder.

[B]

Dumbest of us have them.

[A]

I guess that gives them ability because that would be almost just too much if you have millions of people and you're trying to like. Yeah. It be just a bunch of people like so. Yeah, I guess you're right. I kind of. I don't know what they do with that.

[B]

Send you an email.

[A]

Yeah. Or try to like just see what you're up to. But yeah, you just be catching Pokemon. So.

[B]

Yeah, I don't get it.

[A]

That's a good point. Because I hear about that all the time. Because they say we have more surveillance here in America with ring doorbells and all the private stuff than the whole Chinese government. But again.

[B]

Really?

[A]

Yeah, they're saying. But it's all just privatized with. Through all the ring doorbells and stuff.

[B]

Interesting. Yeah. I bet if you had access to all of them. You could go straight.

[A]

Which people could do that? And that'd be. That could be like. You just set it up to where it's like, all right, die. You don't. Yeah, exactly. And you don't. You don't watch it all at once. But if it's like, hey, I need to see. Right here, right now. You can be like, go through a bunch of metadata. I'm like, okay, we have all these.

[B]

Matter of fact, I saw when they tracked the. They tracked, like, four days of the guys that killed young Dolph before. They just went back, and they had him for, like, four days. Like, this is what he was wearing. Kid was wearing the same outfit for, like, three days.

[A]

Really?

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

Oh, yeah. All the cities now, they use all.

[B]

The ring cameras, like, just tracking every move. Like, they would walk out of frame, and then a new camera would pick them up. Like they had them tracked.

[A]

Yeah, dude. And then cities have their own grid. So between the city's grid and the ring doorbells, it's like, you're done.

[B]

What's that show where they let people try to get away now? You seen that?

[A]

No. It's like, what do you.

[B]

Like, they give you, like, 24 hours. Like, run.

[A]

What?

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

And you got it. Like, I always wanted to do that.

[B]

You can stay away. You get, like, a million bucks from.

[A]

Like, the police or, like, any.

[B]

Like, the point of the show is that they're gonna look for you.

[A]

They're gonna get you wherever.

[B]

And so you think of the place that no one will ever find you, and they're like, come out.

[A]

What?

[B]

Yeah, we saw you on a ring camera, so you can, like, just ditch.

[A]

Your phone, ditch everything, and just hide.

[B]

Yeah. But then you walk by somebody else, and you're in the background of a FaceTime video, and they got your face, or.

[A]

Oh, Jesus.

[B]

You run a red light, and they're like, oh, he's going south on.

[A]

So they could. And they could just hit up all your loved ones and, like, investigate you, basically, and be like, yo, where this is.

[B]

Here's his ten Likeliest places. It's a TV show. Like, they've made it. Like, people are like. It's like, this is Dave. He's a wilderness expert. He's been off grid for 95 days, the longest known to man. Can he evade for 24 hours. Six minutes in, they're like, dave, get your ass out the truck.

[A]

And they get him around.

[B]

Oh, God damn.

[A]

He's just at his aunt's house.

[B]

Like, they'll never give all these MREs what the.

[A]

What channel is that on? That sounds awesome.

[B]

I don't know. I can't even find that I. I.

[A]

Always wanted to do because everyone does like the 5ks and 3ks.

[B]

I wanted to do running.

[A]

Yeah. Like a running race where you could against like the police department. Or that you could like simulate like live action chases where it's like, all right, I'm gonna. We're both gonna run out of this deli. You gotta catch me. And I'm gonna try to evade the police.

[B]

They got that. But it's. It's on espn. It's called tag.

[A]

I've seen that before. The.

[B]

That's the same shit.

[A]

Yeah, well, that's like, you know, get. Course I want like uniform police officers. I want to like, run out of a bank and see if they could catch me.

[B]

Well, you don't gotta wait to do that.

[A]

I could do it.

[B]

Yeah. I'm not gonna be a part of that. But you definitely. And yours do. Actually. Yours won't even. It won't even be mortal or anything.

[A]

You think they would let me go? I mean, as long as they don't.

[B]

Know you got a black wife, you're good.

[A]

True. Yeah. Oh, my. Here's. Here's the plot. Plot twist. Used to be a cop.

[B]

See?

[A]

Exactly.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

I have a little thing. It says officer's boyfriend. Because we were married.

[B]

That lease.

[A]

True. But yeah, I always wanted to see if I could actually, like. I mean, I ran when I was little. Like, you know, that was like, you can go to the woods and they were. They were beat, but like, okay, what.

[B]

If it wasn't actual cops? Or what if it was like, you know, you just put black shirts on some friends and you're like, all right, this is what we're going to find out today.

[A]

That's the tag game. And that game's cool too.

[B]

No, but like, it's how like. But it usually use all of downtown and it's like that. Start outside of the door of this joint and how. How far of a lead do you want?

[A]

Yeah, I want like 10ft.

[B]

That's. I think that's.

[A]

Hella think that's too far.

[B]

No, like, yeah, people. What if you had a block lead? You're already gone.

[A]

Yeah, but I want like the whole city. I guess that's kind of a waste of this.

[B]

This is why they get dogs.

[A]

Yeah, true.

[B]

Oh, yeah.

[A]

They can drop a dog on you.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

Yeah. I don't want that.

[B]

So no canines?

[A]

No canines.

[B]

No horses.

[A]

Horses are fine.

[B]

So you. You got A horse too? No, they have a horse and you're on feet. Yeah, you're, you're, you're caught, right?

[A]

Hit the water. Hit the water. They're what water? In downtown Austin, I just drown myself in the river.

[B]

Yeah. It's not going to work.

[A]

My family gets $1 million. That would be cool if you were in that show and you just jumped off a cliff and your family never find. No, I'm saying that show you're talking about where you. If they don't find you get a million bucks. But would you kill yourself?

[B]

What? Would you.

[A]

So you just jump off of a.

[B]

Cliff but they're still going to find you. Like this idiot killed himself corpse.

[A]

Yeah, you'd have to like self immolate. You have to burn yourself.

[B]

You have to completely get rid of yourself. You have to completely literally close yourself in a barrel of acid.

[A]

Your family gets a million bucks if they get your. And your life insurance and your life insurance and they can sue the show and be like, yo, you, he's gone forever. Yeah, he hid so goddamn good. He's gone.

[B]

I'm sure they vet the people.

[A]

Yeah, true. Make sure they're not going to kill themselves.

[B]

Yeah. Because you could. This could be To Catch a Predator.

[A]

How so?

[B]

Same name.

[A]

What do you mean? Yeah, that would be funny.

[B]

If they twist, you're like, it's not actual sexual predators. This guy's going to be a predator and we're going to be the chasers. And then you just go, yeah.

[A]

I don't know what you're saying though. So how. Why would they be the. They would be the predators. You'd be the predators.

[B]

It's a good name. Like people would want to watch that.

[A]

True. Or if they do catch you, then they get to, you know, they do what?

[B]

Spectrum.

[A]

They get to predate on you.

[B]

And we're right back.

[A]

Yeah, true. It'd be so funny though to have that prime time like almost like the Great American Chase Channel where everyone's grandmom's watching it being like shit.

[B]

You know what I mean? Golly. I mean as far as ads go.

[A]

That was there for an ad, I'm pumped.

[B]

Drinking that shit dilated my eyes.

[A]

You're not allowed to mention extreme sports in their ads either for some reason.

[B]

Why not?

[A]

I'm like, what the fuck? That's like your guys's thing.

[B]

Who guys is Mountain Dew.

[A]

Mountain Dew.

[B]

You know when you say that.

[A]

Mountain Dew.

[B]

Mountain Dews. I thought you're talking about me and your wife. So when. So Mountain Dew's thing.

[A]

Why would you say that? She was an officer, dude.

[B]

Well, she. She's black now. She was blue before. I get what you're saying. She chose. So Mountain Dew. You can't say extreme sports.

[A]

They say that. I don't care. It's up to them. That's their problem.

[B]

That's crazy.

[A]

Yeah. They fucking sponsored extreme sports my whole life, literally.

[B]

It's like, you chug one of those and then hit a motorbike or skateboard or a half pipe. They're like, you know what? Don't do that now. That's Red Bull.

[A]

I think they had too many people just, like, trying to do backflips on dirt bikes. And they're like, all right, we gotta drop this.

[B]

Well, Red Bull's going hard. They got people doing backflips off of hot air balloons and.

[A]

True. So, yeah, Red Bull's nothing.

[B]

You know, I'm surprised they haven't been sued yet.

[A]

Red Bull's definitely been sued.

[B]

Somebody.

[A]

Dude, if something died drinking Paneras caffeinated iced tea.

[B]

No, but I mean, like, from somebody jumping off some shit expecting it to give them wings.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

Risky campaign, dude.

[A]

I guarantee Red Bull's been sued five million times.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

Yeah, dude. People have heart attacks from drinking it. Yeah.

[B]

What?

[A]

Yeah, dude, if you drink too many, there's people who have, like, genuinely no understanding about, like, taurine, what's in anything. And they'll just drink. Like I do. People who drink, like, five rock stars a day.

[B]

Back. Back to back.

[A]

Yeah, during the day. Like, it, like, up your kidneys.

[B]

And thank God Mountain Dew doesn't do that to you.

[A]

And it's organic.

[B]

On the healthier side, it's organic. Thank God Mountain Dew doesn't do that.

[A]

Yeah, red bull. Okay, 13 mil. That's nothing, bro.

[B]

What does that say?

[A]

Throughout the situation, Red Bull insisted their marketing tactics were honest and clear, rejecting any deceitful practices. However, the lawsuit was settled in 2015. Red Bull paid customers $13 million, but maintain their marketing was not dishonest.

[B]

You can't see any.

[A]

Oh, because he said for not.

[B]

You guys see any of that glare?

[A]

I just rip right through it. Now, dude, I didn't see it until.

[B]

You mentioned an angle where there's, like, a glare.

[A]

No, now that you mentioned it, I can. Now I can see is you.

[B]

So the guy. The guy. The guy sued Red Bull for not growing wings and won. Damn. So you can't do that twice. Yeah.

[A]

You can't fuck around.

[B]

He won 13 million for just exploiting their thing.

[A]

Yep. That's like, the dudes who, like, measure cereal and they're like, can we get Pepsi?

[B]

And be like, we haven't thought anything young.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

If anything, we think we're older now.

[A]

I do like the Coca Cola commercials when it's just like, beautiful people just, like, dancing on a rooftop. And it's like, dude, they're not slamming Coca Colas, bro.

[B]

Oh, yeah.

[A]

You know what I mean? It's just like a bunch of models just chugging Coca Colas and doing sorts of.

[B]

Or like gorgeous athletes and models eating McRibs.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

In traffic, nothing spills. Yeah.

[A]

You don't see that at all.

[B]

Not in real life.

[A]

I stopped eating behind the wheel. I got in a small accident one time.

[B]

What were you driving?

[A]

I was driving, like, a. Just a minivan.

[B]

You were driving a minivan?

[A]

Yeah. So I think it's like, my friends. It's like a astro or one of those things, like a safari.

[B]

Okay. And what were you eating?

[A]

Tacos.

[B]

That's pretty aggressive for driving.

[A]

It was. It was too much. I did. I did have a little white wine, too, beforehand.

[B]

So you were drinking and driving in tacos?

[A]

I think I drank before and then I took food.

[B]

What do you think? You don't know?

[A]

I don't remember. I don't think I was drinking white wine.

[B]

You blacked out?

[A]

No, no, no, Not. I was, like, barely buzzing. That was the problem if I was drunk.

[B]

So you were like, full on driving, head sideways, eating a taco?

[A]

I was. I was at a red light, eating. I just didn't realize. Let go to the break. I let go of the brake at.

[B]

The red, rolled forward into traffic.

[A]

Rolled forward, bonked into a city car. It was like a city, like an L. And I inspector just bonked them. It was. It was so light, but it was just. They came out and tried to be like.

[B]

They were in the car.

[A]

Yeah. Yeah. Was that a red light?

[B]

They got out the car and they're like.

[A]

They try to be like, what? Yeah, I mean, they were. They were within their right to be like, hey, what the is that about?

[B]

Want a taco, bro?

[A]

Yeah, I just. I put that down. I was like, dude, I. I don't know what the hell happened. And they were. They were like, we're gonna call the cops. I'm like, come on, man, don't do that. That's crazy. You guys don't have any damage. And then they were just like, you know, just got out of it. So.

[B]

So now you don't eat and dry.

[A]

No, stop.

[B]

This is a real story.

[A]

Yes. I Just let go of the break.

[B]

And just totally blamed it on the brakes. God damn. Brakes went out.

[A]

I should have, but I have. Good. I've had, I've had people hit my car multiple times in a similar situation. I was like, whatever, man, we're fine.

[B]

Yeah, if it doesn't leave a mark. Exactly. Or if it's fingernail polish. Big. So what?

[A]

That's what I'm saying.

[B]

I want to do with that paperwork anyway.

[A]

That's what I'm saying. I was like. So I let two people off the hook and I think it just kind of. I had a lady fucking nail my car. But it was like a Ford Contour and dude, they had like a steel.

[B]

Let her go. She nailed your car.

[A]

The car was such a piece of shit. And I also.

[B]

Her car. Yours?

[A]

Mine. Mine was, it was like a different color panel, all that stuff. And I also had a guy at a wedding and it was, the car was like such a piece of shit. But the guy backed in and like crunched my door in.

[B]

Damn.

[A]

And I fully went after his ass. And I got like, I got more than the car was worth. And he was really pissed off about it. And then I felt kind of bad about that because I did definitely just pocket all that money. Didn't fix the car. And then from insurance.

[B]

Yeah. But all he had to pay was a deductible. So what?

[A]

He, he only wanted to go through his insurance. So he caught me a personal check for like. Oh my gosh, seventeen hundred dollars for.

[B]

A two hundred car.

[A]

And I had. He was like kind of, you know, he was like kind of like evading me a little bit. So I had to like call him up. And I like. I was outside his office. His office. I'm like, bro, I need to get my car fixed. Like, you got a fork? He was like, I know you're not fixing this car. And I was like, bro, I'm fixing it right now.

[B]

Spine, please.

[A]

I didn't do that. Yeah. Cuz I wasn't in the car. He, I, we had like a wedding and he backed into the car. He did my door up.

[B]

But after the wedding too.

[A]

Yeah, he might have been having a little white wine and tacos himself.

[B]

He was part of the family.

[A]

It was like in law. Other side, you know. You know, the two sides come together. The wedding.

[B]

So yes, it wasn't blood.

[A]

If it was blood, I would have let it slide. But I don't know, I don't know this guy. I don't know this guy. And it was a long time ago.

[B]

Now he's on the other side of the aisle.

[A]

Yeah, I'm a better person now. But back then I was all, you know, I was hungry for that payment.

[B]

I need my money. Yeah.

[A]

I was like, Give me my 1700, bro.

[B]

Amazing. Yeah. I let somebody go to one time. I got bumped. It wasn't bad, but I couldn't understand him. So I was like, fuck this. Yeah.

[A]

I had an old Chinese guy hit.

[B]

Me one time and I took. I got all the way to Spanish 3 in school and lived in LA for 12 years. And this guy was. I couldn't understand, but I knew it was Spanish based.

[A]

Yeah, you could have really wrecked his life too if you're like, now the cops are coming, bro.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

Yeah. You could have called ice. Potentially. Potentially. That would suck to have to go back to Honduras over a fender bender.

[B]

I wonder if he was Honduran.

[A]

Yeah, I mean, you know, I'm just.

[B]

Guessing that would suck though. That would prime away from his children and his wife.

[A]

That's what I'm saying. It's like you have like a family of a job or you're living the American dream. And then it's like, no, dude, you scratch my paint, right?

[B]

The you doing eating tacos in traffic.

[A]

Yeah, you gotta go.

[B]

He's like, what's a taco?

[A]

You had an old, old Asian guy bumped me one time.

[B]

Really?

[A]

And dude, it was like we were in like neck to net. We were just like in like gridlock traffic. And he just somehow. And I'm like watching.

[B]

He was driving.

[A]

Yes. And I was like, there's no way he's trying to. He just tried to get into my lane and hit my car.

[B]

And I was like, dude, he just never saw you.

[A]

We had nowhere to go.

[B]

Oh, he did that thing where he expects you to stop and let him in.

[A]

Dude, we were bare. It was like.

[B]

It was.

[A]

I laughed. I started laughing.

[B]

Were you parked the whole time? Like still?

[A]

We were pretty still from what I remember. I think we stopped.

[B]

But did you inch forward at all?

[A]

No, it wasn't one of those. Because I always. I let people go. I'm not gonna be like, no. He like came. I didn't even see him. He was behind me.

[B]

He just came from behind.

[A]

Yes.

[B]

I think I was like, oh, I'm sorry. Yeah, no, dude, the double entendres.

[A]

No. Did he. Dude, I got hit by an old agent.

[B]

Dude hit me from the back. That would. Saw the whole thing.

[A]

That would be crazy. I think I just saw him in my mirror coming and I was like, what the is this guy doing all of a sudden? He was just dunking. I was like, bro, he's like wax. He was so funny, though. When he came out, he was just like an old Asian guy. It was like he got alerted. He had the exclamation mark above his head.

[B]

And it was.

[A]

I was like, dude, you're too funny. You gotta go. I can't. I can't hold this against you.

[B]

This is so fun. You get his name?

[A]

No, I. I was. He was. Couldn't speak any English. And he kept being like, oh, not so bad. Not so bad. Whatever he was trying to say. And I was just like, bro, you're. You're hilarious. Just go. You guys are so funny.

[B]

That's amazing. Yeah.

[A]

So that's why I got. That's why I got blessed by the L and I guys from the city when I, I, you know, they could have got me. They're tied in with the whole thing.

[B]

It's karma. You believe in karma?

[A]

Big time.

[B]

So you let all those other people off. So then when you slow rolled into the L and I guys and they let you off, you're like, thank God. It's because of all the people I let off.

[A]

It's just how I roll. I wasn't even thinking about the future rewards. I was just like, I'm. I was always. I've always fantasized lightly about, like, someone like, fucking, like, nailing my car or something and me just being like, cool as fuck. I mean, like, dude, I don't even care about. Yeah. They're like, just went to work and.

[B]

Put in a claim, and that's a city vehicle.

[A]

It's not even there. They probably did their fucking lives.

[B]

They'll never work again. That's.

[A]

By the way. That's what cops are all after.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

All trying to get put on disability.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

Like, oh, my God. It's crazy.

[B]

I've never met.

[A]

Construction was bad. Cops are like, they all want to go on this. I mean, I shouldn't say all, but I would say like 99.6%.

[B]

0.6 is so specific.

[A]

Yeah. I mean, we'll leave it.

[B]

A couple people just go 99.9. They just go all the way.

[A]

0.6.

[B]

99.9. Like, you literally left 3.3% for error. Like a poll.

[A]

Point four, bro.

[B]

Yeah, well, I took from the 0.99. So what do they. How do they get disability? Like, they're chasing someone and twisted and.

[A]

Angry so they can't. A cop can't sue the city, per se. But, yes, if they get hurt, they can go on, like, just basically disability, and the city will cover them. If you get hurt, you can't sue the city and get a million bucks.

[B]

Right.

[A]

But if you can prove that you're hurt because of the job, you'll just carry cop benefits for rest of your life, and you can just chill.

[B]

Really?

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

So, like, oh, I can't sleep in. My feet hurt. 100.

[A]

Yeah. But what they will do is if you're not hurt enough, they will put you on desk duty. So if you can prove that, like, if you sit down at a desk, it still hurts your back. Like, if you're like, oh, I can't sleep, they're like, yo, to desk duty. But if you, like, get up and you're like, dude, sitting all day doing paperwork. Yeah, they'll.

[B]

Yeah, my knees are locking up. My back is.

[A]

They'll fight you on it. But if you can prove it, they're like, all right, you just have. You're done.

[B]

They, like, send people to follow you and, like, see you. Probably you probably the same softball like, motherfucker.

[A]

Yeah. I knew a dude who lost, like, a couple hundred grand playing a goalie in street hockey. When he had a case, I knew a guy, took pictures of him just fucking playing street hockey. There's lawyer was like, motherfucker, yeah, my.

[B]

I knew a guy I was in as a guy named Mr. Terry. And Mr. Terry, he would put his head down like that, and he would act like he had a club foot and walked. And Mr. Terry had an L. And I claim open, he won. But it was a trip to see him be like, all right, child, I'm about to head out. God damn. And then do it. When he leaves him, like, three months.

[A]

What was that movie where the guy at the very end was, like, limping and he starts walking? There was a fucking.

[B]

I have no idea.

[A]

I think so. Yeah.

[B]

Is that it? That's a real thing. I'm just talking about Mr. Terry.

[A]

But there. There is. There was no. There's a movie where. Because we. I used to work with a guy who fucked his foot up, and he would limp, and we'd all laugh. Like, dude, I guarantee on Friday, he just fucking. As soon as he gets to his car, he's like, oh, all right. Wow. He limped and he. I think he got like, yeah, they fucked his foot up, like, forever, and he got, like, 100 grand. I think. I think there's, like, prices, like, if you lose a finger, that's like 16,000 bucks.

[B]

That's it.

[A]

Yeah. Yeah, it's. I mean, you would think so for his finger, but.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

It's not like you don't get, like, 100 G's for a finger. I could be wrong, but I think.

[B]

There'S, like, based on the finger, like, you lose a thumb.

[A]

True.

[B]

They gotta break.

[A]

You're fucked. Yeah.

[B]

You're not even a human no more.

[A]

That's just true.

[B]

The only thing that separates us. Monkey.

[A]

Again, I could be wrong about that, but I. I think there is, like, a real, like, value thing on, like, your body parts for, like, if you lose them at work.

[B]

Is there a value?

[A]

Yeah, I think a pinky is, like. Pinky, you get, like.

[B]

What do you think is the most expensive body part? A private.

[A]

Yeah. If you lose your dong, you're. Dude, that can't even reproduce. That's got to be a millie. Or they might. It might be like, like a deli counter. Like, they're like, what's your meatload?

[B]

There it is. The value of body parts.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

There we go. Arm. 124.

[A]

Yo, let's go stitch an arm.

[B]

Got a. It's got a blur on it.

[A]

Yeah. So assembly line worker loses a finger, might receive 18 G's. I'm pretty close. Accidental death and a dismembered insurance policy might be 5,000.

[B]

What the.

[A]

I'd be pissed if someone paid me five grand for my life. Your arm would be 124. There we go. I. Fourth finger. Yeah.

[B]

So your pinky finger is 6,000. Your thumb, you do get more.

[A]

You're absolutely right. 35, but.

[B]

35, bro, that's not enough. To never be able to grip again. Yeah.

[A]

I mean, a thumb. Your eyes worth more than your thumb. How?

[B]

Because you can't see.

[A]

Foot's 82. Yep.

[B]

Big toe. You can't even balance without a big toe.

[A]

Yeah, that's. Yeah, dude, that's. That's what you get. New York Workers Compensation Board, they figured out your body parts and a dollar amount. I don't know how.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

100 G's for 115 for a leg.

[B]

That's not.

[A]

Why is your arm worth more than your leg? I guess it's easier to kind of have like, a peg leg, I guess.

[B]

Why is an arm worth more than a leg?

[A]

Yeah, I guess, you know, you use your arms more, but if your leg you can just stand on whatever, it doesn't even matter. Let's get a kickstand.

[B]

Arm should be at the top for sure.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

Eyes.

[A]

Nice. I would.

[B]

You can't even hug anymore.

[A]

That's true. Yeah.

[B]

I was gonna do a push up.

[A]

Mash yourself against ladies tits and be like, what? I'm being nice. I'm driving.

[B]

Can't drive a manual.

[A]

Yeah, you can't do really, but with.

[B]

A leg you can. You just gotta get real busy. Yeah.

[A]

Legging. You just peg it up, you'd be all right. But yeah, that's.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

Now you know.

[B]

No ear. Like what's an ear? If you lose your ear.

[A]

But I think it's a. This is a trouble working for yourself. Yeah, losing an ears. I don't think they even include that. But if you work for yourself and you lose your hand, you're just.

[B]

This is amazing. There's no dick nothing on there. Like I need more body parts.

[A]

Dick's probably like. They keep that behind the glass. That's like reserved information. They don't want people knowing because that's got a dick's got to be.

[B]

If you get your ass.

[A]

Millions of dollars. Your ass.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

If you blew your ass, they'd be like, here's 80 grand. Shut the up.

[B]

You think so? I bet an ass is worth like 6,000. It's gotta be the least like you even need it.

[A]

I blew my ass up at the factory. They're like, dude, shut up. Keep typing.

[B]

How much is an ass worth? I think something else is going to come out.

[A]

It's gotta be true. What's an ass worth right now? What is ass worth right now? Depends on.

[B]

It's from a prostitute girlfriend or a wife. Half. Yeah.

[A]

So I don't think you can. I don't think you can like really.

[B]

Well, 20 is 20.

[A]

Because they can also. If you're talking about losing a cheek they can put a papa cheek on. That's nothing, man. You can mix and match with that.

[B]

Yeah, yeah.

[A]

If you get. If you like someone somehow, like again, that'd be a crazy accident to cut your ass off. That would be nasty.

[B]

I feel like more people smear it off.

[A]

What do you mean?

[B]

Like a motorcycle accident or something?

[A]

Big time.

[B]

Were they just like a pencil eraser or mailman?

[A]

They got that whole window open, man. If you fall out, you can just scrape your ass off inside.

[B]

Yeah. There's just a little smudge on the ground and.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

Disability.

[A]

Yeah, true.

[B]

Thousand dollars. Yeah.

[A]

If you lose your ass, you know, again, it's like if the problem is if you somehow destroy your at work, that's where the big bucks come in.

[B]

You get the hole, they gotta pay you.

[A]

That's where they get.

[B]

But they got the surgery where they just snip some and bring some new hole down.

[A]

True. Yeah, they pulled down.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

They can cut out, like, half your intestines, and they're like, whatever.

[B]

We got over 100ft.

[A]

Yeah. Who was I just. Who was I talking to? I don't know. Someone I know had, like, a bag temporarily. They got.

[B]

Because of that.

[A]

He didn't, like, fuck his ass up at the factory, but he had, like, something else going on where he's like.

[B]

And they just pulled down. Game. A new booty hole.

[A]

I think they gave him a temporary setup where he had, like, a. They, like, popped it on the out. Yeah, yeah. He had, like, the colostomy, but temporarily. So I don't know if it was for life. I don't know how the fuck they do that.

[B]

I don't know either. I know somebody that just got one.

[A]

The shit bag.

[B]

I don't know if it's a shit. Big Mike, what's the one for? Urine. Just only pee. Is that a thing?

[A]

I didn't know you get a. I think it's a camel back. That's like, those back. No. I don't know. I don't know where.

[B]

I don't know going.

[A]

I didn't know you could. I'm sure you can have one of those, but a peabag, I wouldn't. A peabag wouldn't be bad. Bag is rugged.

[B]

Dude.

[A]

To be out in public, Right. My friend has a. He has actually a ring. Well, not a ring doorbell, but he has security cameras around his house, and he's caught a dude emptying his bag in his driveway.

[B]

Really?

[A]

Oh, Cam. Yeah, that's a.

[B]

Do you know that guy?

[A]

No, he doesn't know that guy.

[B]

What the Would make him do it there? I don't know. Appropriate. He had pressure on his body.

[A]

His house was in, like, a. The neighborhood is kind of fucked up. But it was like his house has, like, a driveway, and none of the houses have driveways.

[B]

Okay.

[A]

So people would go up there for years, and, like, dude, he'd have. People would fuck back there. So it was like we had that house. Yeah. So exactly. Yeah, exactly. Like, it was like. And it's right off of. In Philly. There's, like, Lancaster Ave. And that's like. Lancaster Ave is like an open area. It's like an open air, like drug and prostitution market. So everyone goes. He's like, a block behind. So that was like the quiet area. You would go to do shit. Yeah.

[B]

But to drop out all your shit out your bag there, that's disrespectful.

[A]

Yeah. Fucking is one thing, but. But he does have. He has it all in vid. He has all. He has like dudes just busting on prostitutes quickly.

[B]

Like just little quick videos.

[A]

Yeah, well, it's just. That's. It doesn't. You know, he has the video. It could be as long as they.

[B]

Want, but they're good at their job, man. Yeah.

[A]

Especially when you're standing the driveway. You got the adrenaline pumping.

[B]

You're holding up a leg, blood flowing. Yeah, dude. Yeah.

[A]

They. He said these.

[B]

Somebody's like, I gotta pour out my back. Hurry up. Like, I brought my bad.

[A]

Yeah, it's like, disturbing. He showed me some of the video videos, and I'm like, man, that's like, almost disturbing.

[B]

You should put out a series.

[A]

It would be within his right. Honestly.

[B]

Driveway.

[A]

Like, that's your. I'm like, that is your content. You could put it out. It's like bags, mostly. People. Probably be the stuff people want to see.

[B]

Just got a lot. You got a lot of blurrings. Yeah. Stuff out.

[A]

Well, I feel like. I feel like if he hung up a little disclaimer, it's like, yeah. At that point.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

Like, we are live.

[B]

I think people don't give a.

[A]

Or they just don't read it. If it's nighttime, it's like you can't see that. But then it's like, you're going to.

[B]

Go, man, I remember one time in high school, I was with this girl. You ever been with a girl and you. You're looking for a place to fuck in a car. And usually they're like. They're just going, no, they're like, we're not doing this. Just depending on the different spot that they're looking around. Like, too bright.

[A]

Yeah, yeah.

[B]

To whatever. Well, this particular girl was like, make a left. Right? And I was like, oh, shit, you got a spot already.

[A]

Oh, wow.

[B]

We pull all the way into the spot and it's dark and then mess around or whatever. And then I get in the car and I turn on the parking lights or whatever, and right in front of the car is a sign that's like, help us stop prostitution. I was like, whoa. You took me to a spot where is that popular that they already have a sign here.

[A]

Whoa.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

What did you, like, grill her on this? That's like, when women have condoms. Whenever women have condoms on them, I'm like, right.

[B]

I don't think she knew that. I don't know. But she. She acted like she didn't know that that was there. So we both were like, what does that say?

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

Holy shit. I had another time. This is completely separate. Had another time in high school where we were looking for this place and then found one, messed around, we didn't even smash. But I think we just like, petting, you know, in high school. Little finger bang action or something.

[A]

Oh, yeah.

[B]

And I got out of the car to get from the driver's seat to the backseat, and somehow I dropped my phone and I didn't know where we were because it was dark and. Which sounds like a cop out, but where I'm from, I'm from. I'm from Lacey, Washington, and so, like, you can literally be on a street with hella lights and then pull off where you are. The lights.

[A]

Yeah, yeah.

[B]

So anyway, the next day, in broad daylight, like, we had a phone call. It's like, hey, I heard my dad on the phone and it was like, yeah, we found this phone on our property and this number dad or whatever was in. So we dialed it. It's like an old. This was when we had the LG flip phones.

[A]

Yeah, yeah.

[B]

It's like, okay, who is this? It's like, oh, this is pastor something something. It's like, bitch, you took me to a church. So, yeah, I finger banged out of church, unbeknownst to me, or at least in the parking lot. Yep.

[A]

Yeah, I feel like there's a lot of finger banging going on in the church parking lot, though.

[B]

I think there's more inside, but I just didn't know. I didn't know where I was. You know what I'm saying?

[A]

Yeah, I used to do behind the Verizon store. There was a Ve Verizon that they just stopped construction on. So there was just an empty Verizon store. That was like my spot in high school.

[B]

There was a less schwab.

[A]

A what?

[B]

Less swab. Tire store.

[A]

Oh, the tire store would be decent. I used to keep a blanket and a pillow.

[B]

They had the building and they had. They had all the, like, four bays. And then the building ended and there was like an outside bay that was like completely un. Like invisible.

[A]

Nice little carport, right? Yeah, I remember. I.

[B]

But I was with the girl and she showed another guy. So one time I went to go back there, and there's already a car back there moving and occupied. What the.

[A]

You honked.

[B]

And I knew whose car it was, though.

[A]

Oh, no.

[B]

Yeah, license plates. Like, Jeremy. I'm like, what the.

[A]

God damn it. Damn it.

[B]

Jeremy Nelson strikes again.

[A]

Yeah. My dad called me carrying a blank pillow.

[B]

I wanted to lead out. That's a real name.

[A]

His name that.

[B]

It'll like it. What's up, Jeremy? I was there that night.

[A]

He was no problem.

[B]

Yeah, Yeah.

[A]

I. I had a graham cracker toenails. My dad. My dad called me carrying, like, the blanket and pillow to my car one time. He's like, what are you doing?

[B]

I heard you say. You said you had a blanket and pillow in your car.

[A]

He was like, what are you doing? I was like, I don't know. If I ever have, like, a sleepover, I'll be, like, ready to roll. He was just like, all right, dude. I also had, like, some, like, landscapers. The Verizon finally went, like, active, and it was like. It was during the day, too. I was just going nuts. And the dude. These Mexican dudes just walked out and just, like, came up to the car, and I had to be like, yo, yo, yo, yo. Get out of here, guys.

[B]

This ain't the spot.

[A]

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[B]

Let's get back to the show I used to have. I used to call this the magic burrito. And so what I would do is. Why'd you perk up so much?

[A]

I didn't know what you're talking about. Like what the fuck are you talking about?

[B]

I'm talking about being ready for whatever. Cars.

[A]

Fucking cars, you know, the magic burrito. I'm like, let's go, let's go.

[B]

So this is what a magic burrito was, right? Like, I had this whole period in my life where I was like, let me see if I can get a hand job for sure, right? So a magic burrito was a hotel lotion wrapped in a face towel. So I would. All of that shit would be in my backpack. Like, I had magic burritos.

[A]

Would you use them like a fifi, basically. What are you saying? It's a fifi, like the prison pussy people make where they put, like, sandwich bags together.

[B]

No.

[A]

So you just store lotion in a towel in case the hand.

[B]

Gel lotion. And then you roll it up like a blunt or whatever.

[A]

I thought you were saying you, like, squirt it into a towel.

[B]

It was still in the container.

[A]

Got you.

[B]

But if I. If a girl was like, let me see. I'd be like, I bet you would pull out the magic. I got a cloth. I got lotion. Let's go. All I need is your little.

[A]

Oh, you had the whole set. You had a mobile kid.

[B]

Magic burrito.

[A]

Ah. I see what you're saying. I thought you were saying, this cold.

[B]

Awkward hand, that's all I need.

[A]

Yeah, true.

[B]

We were young.

[A]

It's true. Yeah, they. They should.

[B]

I'm talking before people knew the twist at the end.

[A]

Yeah, true. It takes a woman a whole life to learn how to give a hand job properly. It's.

[B]

You remember when you first got, like, one, you were like, wait a minute.

[A]

I thought I was getting hurt, dude. Yeah, it was the first time I got a hand job. I think it was in, like, grade school.

[B]

No, I don't mean like a bad one. I mean, do you remember when you got.

[A]

The first time I got one that I was like, hold up. Yeah, dude, it's crazy. It was a revelation, right?

[B]

Like, do you ever have. You ever have a hand job that was like. It was better than what you had been doing to yourself before?

[A]

I'm the best, bro. I'm the best in the biz. No, I'm the best in the biz.

[B]

But there had to be a time where you were. Where you were just doing straight shots and somebody hit you with your first double twist, and you're like, oh, you can do that?

[A]

No, I'm telling you, man, you on.

[B]

Your own, figured out you could double twist your dick.

[A]

I don't double twist.

[B]

I've never double twisted the high and tight or whatever you figured Out. But you were on your own. You figured out there's levels to this shit.

[A]

I mean, I didn't. I didn't realize how bad girls were until like grade school. And I was kind of like, whoa. I like, was like, yo, stop. Like, this hurts. They were just like, yeah, trying to up.

[B]

That's a lot of meat bottom parts.

[A]

Worthless. Dude, please.

[B]

I can't feel any of that. Come to the tip where other nerve endings are. Yeah, I'll hold everything.

[A]

I guess I'd have to say like a maybe like, Maybe like a wishy. I've been to like the wishy washy before, back when I was a young man.

[B]

What is wishy?

[A]

That's like when you go in, like the massage parlor and the Asian ladies, like, give you a bath and off.

[B]

No, I never did that.

[A]

Yeah, it's. I wouldn't start if you haven't already done it. But the.

[B]

Is it addicting or something?

[A]

When you're younger, it's just like, you get.

[B]

Drones are everywhere. Where I'm from.

[A]

They're everywhere. Spa, they're everywhere. Everywhere. Every time you drive around. And once you know what they are.

[B]

I'm like, it's probably too easy to just be like, it's. Yeah, you know, I ain't doing. I might as well just pull off.

[A]

The problem is, is kids, I'm going.

[B]

To the movies by myself.

[A]

Yeah, yeah. The walk, the entrance is the worst part because you gotta like walk in and you're just like, jesus fucking Christ. And then you're in there and then you leave and you're like, oh, do.

[B]

They know you or is there like a process where you're like, trying to not look like a cop?

[A]

Yeah, I don't know. I never. I kind of look like a cop. So I was like, I don't think they care.

[B]

But you don't think they don't even give a shit, huh?

[A]

No, not at all. A lot of them have the fop stickers on the outside window. They're paying the cops. They're like, paying.

[B]

Really?

[A]

Yeah. You can be like an fop, like, donor. So.

[B]

Okay.

[A]

I remember thinking that was kind of a wild move, though. They had like fop year after year all over the window just as, hey.

[B]

We donate, you guys. Leave us alone.

[A]

I. I would say. I would say. Sorry, my allergies. I think it's a bad habit. It's a bad habit.

[B]

Are you getting emotional?

[A]

I'm thinking about the wish. You wash, you get emotional. I mean, dude, to be fair, do they like, literally lay you On a table and just like dump buckets of hot water on you and just fully wash you down.

[B]

This sounds like a relaxing experience.

[A]

It's definitely. If nothing else, it's a relaxing experience.

[B]

Do you think people could tell that you did it? No.

[A]

What do you mean? Like when I came out. I mean your hair might be a little wet. That's kind of suspicious.

[B]

What about just like your general amount of relaxation? Like you went, didn't you.

[A]

The wet hair and the smelling like lotion would have been more of a giveaway, but.

[B]

But not the light feet and the floating around.

[A]

No, because you're. You kind of like come out of there. Like you have to like emerge back into the world. It's like if you ever like a sex shop, you gotta like walk in and walk out and you're kind of.

[B]

Do you feel dirty?

[A]

Yeah, big time. I grew up catholic, so it's like anything.

[B]

Did you ever get over that feeling? We walked out with your chest up one time.

[A]

No. Whistling. I wish I did. But I did see a man one time who did exactly that. I was working, I was doing demolition and we were like taking down a parking garage. So my job was to like stand on like the third floor of it and just watch, make sure people didn't like have fall on them in the little alley.

[B]

Right?

[A]

And there was a wishy washy in that alley.

[B]

What?

[A]

So I just watched people go in and out all day and like we would all with them, we'd be like, yo. And they would come out and like most people would scamper, right? It's one old man just looked at us and went, did a little you're welcome. And I was like, dude, you're the man. I was like, I just want to be like you when I get older.

[B]

Yeah, that confidence is. That's. That's nuts.

[A]

But yeah, then you get into it though. And then like you, I found. You find out later. A lot of them are like kind of like sex slaves. So that's not good.

[B]

Sex slaves.

[A]

Well, what happens is if you run one of those things, what you do is you bring girls over. You say hey, like you know we have a modeling agency. You're really pretty. You bring them over from Korea and then once they get there, you just yank their paperwork and you're like, this is what the you're doing.

[B]

Really?

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

I didn't know that seemed to be what's going on because like some there cars outside or like old ass Honda Civic hatchbacks and like these are old ladies.

[A]

Yeah, well that's the mama son. But then it's like, there's definitely a dude running that place.

[B]

Really?

[A]

Oh yeah, bro. Definitely. That's. They're like organized crime. Yeah. If you. Those That's. You're bringing women.

[B]

What's mama son?

[A]

That's the head lady. The old madam. Yeah, the madam.

[B]

Yeah, the mama song I know a little bit about. Because Seattle's built on whore houses. Yeah, yeah. Like the whole underbelly of Seattle.

[A]

Really?

[B]

Yeah. There was like one madam that had like 37 whorehouses. And so the entire industrial it being built and stuff was like paid for by.

[A]

Yeah, I. I was. I was reading a book recently. That's awesome. I was reading a book recently and.

[B]

No type in like Seattle.

[A]

Let's check these Yelp reviews first. Let's see. Yeah, I read a book. It was like set in the 1890s.

[B]

And that's not what I'm looking for. You're about to find some actual ass for sale. No, like. Like the history of Seattle and whore houses. Like, I like to maybe try history.

[A]

Apparently they had a huge boom out there. I think maybe that was the gold rush. I don't know.

[B]

Ma, Ms. Ma or something.

[A]

First prostitutes were native American women. Yeah, they. I'm sure they weren't really kind of, you know, like, hey guys, you want a job? That might have been a kind of a coercive situation.

[B]

There was a lady, Madame Lou. Boom. Who is madam right at the very bottom.

[A]

Oh, man.

[B]

Click that. Madame Lou. There it is. Lou Graham, born Dorothy Georgine Emmeline Oban, was a German born woman who became famous as a madam of a brothel that is now the Pioneer square district of Seattle. That's shorting what she did. But they had like taxes. They had a seamstress tax. All that was was just how to tax the.

[A]

Oh, that makes sense.

[B]

Yeah. So like this city was built on.

[A]

Yeah, dude. Back those little towns or those, you know, they were little towns originally type.

[B]

Probably Madame Lou Graham.

[A]

I was like, who the fuck is that?

[B]

But everyone was coming in for working on the railroad, working in lumber, working on whatever. So people had money.

[A]

Yeah, man.

[B]

And she was cleaning up.

[A]

Well, dude. And back then too, it would like say you were just like a. Like you're a girl and your parents both died. You would be like. You didn't have any immediate family. You'd just be fucked. So you just be like out just like sitting there and someone.

[B]

Can we click that one right there? That says she got arrested by a rookie cop. I didn't know. Oh, the left one and the red. Yeah. What does that say? It just looks interesting. Oh, she was so influenced, influential that she had all charges cleared and had the police commissioner fired.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

Dude, do you know how much pussy you have to sell that if you get arrested, you can get the commissioner fired?

[A]

Yeah. And also, she probably had the dos on all those guys. So she was like, yeah. She called the mayor, was like, for sure.

[B]

She got the diddy list.

[A]

She did.

[B]

For sure. She's untouchable. That rookie cop up.

[A]

Yeah. Back. Yeah, that was probably crazy. 1890s hitting, like, whorehouses. And in a new. Like, in a wild western town, that must have been right. But yeah, that's. Yeah, they really.

[B]

It's not like they had tapes and videos on people. Like, that lady's word was bond. Like, she could.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

She just lie on you and it's a rap for you.

[A]

True or. Yeah. Or it'd be like, you know, you might. You might have had a guy in there, like a mayor, get, like, rough with, like, a younger girl, and it's like, yeah, all would take it back. Yeah, that guy's a piece of. And everyone would believe it.

[B]

Believe her. For sure.

[A]

For sure.

[B]

Right?

[A]

And they could be like, I've seen.

[B]

I know I'm a lot of things, but I'm not a liar.

[A]

True. Or I could be like, he has a mole on his ass. I can prove it.

[B]

And the mayor, to be like, his wife would know.

[A]

Like, yeah, exactly.

[B]

Damn it, Henry. She knew that you had a PCO removed with a new ass put on.

[A]

Dude, I was reading another book, and there was like, this. It was like, I think world. No. Korean War. And they got stationed in Germany and they would have, like, their cigarettes. It was like this Irish immigrant guy who came to America and he joined the Korean War. So, like, all the American soldiers were over in Germany, and they would have to drive, like, the laundry back and forth. But on the road, they would stop at refugee camps and trade, like, coffee and cigarettes to, like, starving, like, refugees. Like, Eastern European women.

[B]

Right.

[A]

And just fuck them. What, in, like, a hovel. It was like. I was reading this. Like, God, that's ruthless, dude. Just, like, a shitty, like, makeshift, like, tent setup. They would just, like, go back there and just, like, get blown by, like, starving women for cigarettes and be like, nice.

[B]

Oh, they were giving them cigarettes for the head.

[A]

Yeah, like, head or just them and just be like, nice. And it was like, he was, like, explaining. He's like, they were freezing cold and, like, dirty and, like, starving. And I was like, oh, bro, that's.

[B]

Horny can of beans.

[A]

Yeah, that's pretty horny, dude. Back then, dudes were like. Like, up how horny they were.

[B]

Yeah. But like, you know, they gotta have a pretty good skill set.

[A]

Yeah. The guy did say he came pretty.

[B]

Quickly in a sex tent especially.

[A]

Survival mode. Yeah.

[B]

Right. And you gotta hurry up before your laundry's done.

[A]

Yeah. Well, that's funny enough. The laundry was being done in Dachau.

[B]

What's Dakota?

[A]

It's like one of the concentration camps. So World War II had, like, just happened. So it's pretty fresh. When they, like, were like, exterminating Jewish people and that was like one of the. It was like, you know, dakhound, whatever. The.

[B]

I always heard Auschwitz.

[A]

Auschwitz, that was the big one. But there was a couple other ones.

[B]

Okay.

[A]

Auschwitz gets, you know, kind of all the. It's most famous one. People talk about that. But yeah, he had to go to Dachau and like, he is with a Jewish guy. And they, like, pulled up on it. He was like, oh. And the guy, like, completely freaked out.

[B]

Just from being back at the same place.

[A]

I don't. I think he just. His parents were there or something. I think, like, is back then. I think your family just get wiped. Like, if you're a Jewish dude.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

You would lose, like your whole family just get like, obliterated.

[B]

Well, I mean. You mean just like during World War.

[A]

II, but the Korean War. When was the Korean War, Josh? I think it was pretty short. 1950s. Yeah, it was like, pretty shortly after World War II.

[B]

I don't know anything about the Korean War other than recently on like, Tick Tock and Instagram, they're saying that the Korean War and all the black soldiers going over there is how Koreans learn how to make such good fried chicken.

[A]

That could be because they love fried chicken.

[B]

Literally, they. That's like the recipes from, like, L.A. the way they do it. Whoa. It's 1950-53.

[A]

Damn, dude.

[B]

From the black soldiers.

[A]

Because, dude, I used to work for a Korean guy and they love fried chicken, dude.

[B]

Right.

[A]

Oh, I didn't know that. Well, that's kind of.

[B]

I learned how to fry chicken from the black soldiers. How to.

[A]

I didn't. That's nuts. And they came over there and like, all right, we're gonna. Yes. African American soldier station in Korea during the Korean War. Most likely thought Korean soldiers. Okay. Sick, man.

[B]

That they shared the barracks with.

[A]

Damn, dude. Then they came out with that. They all came over shortly after, set.

[B]

Up the shops and made beautiful children.

[A]

It's True.

[B]

That was from. There's a lot of, like, black and Korean couples and white and Korean couples and. And, man, black and Korean girls are stunning. Yeah, that was that Kimora Lee look.

[A]

Blasian was, like, mythologically hot back in, like, the early.

[B]

Or even, like, white Nation, like Janae Aiko or whatever. I don't know. She. Is she White Nation? Yeah. She's lagging. See, I'm hooked.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

That is a whole look. Just pull up. Oh, my God.

[A]

Yeah, it's.

[B]

Come on.

[A]

Literally the hottest combination by far. A couple. Yeah, it's pretty nuts. True.

[B]

No, it's an Asian lady with a black attitude.

[A]

Depends how it goes.

[B]

Depends how hot your shoes.

[A]

It depends how hot it. Depends how hot she is.

[B]

Chopstick. Fuck you.

[A]

I think the hotter they are, they go either way. If they're kind of beat, they'll, like, present pretty age. If they get hot, they're just like, I'm letting it go.

[B]

So the hotter they are, the blacker they act. Wow.

[A]

That's my theory. I don't know. That's my theory.

[B]

I would.

[A]

What the hell? I'm not bringing anyone a glass of water if I'm a fucking.

[B]

I think it's more. I think it's, like, based on what city they're in. True.

[A]

I mean, that's probably more.

[B]

You know what I mean?

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

Because there's black and Korean girls in Korea. They're not all here.

[A]

Yeah, true.

[B]

And they don't act like that.

[A]

No, not at all. Bob's just making a joke. But the. The. But no, I dated a blazing girl.

[B]

What was the joke? I missed it.

[A]

I was just saying, if you're hotter, it's like, why would they be, like, meek and humble like typically Asians are? You know what I'm saying?

[B]

That's fucking funny. And I'm sorry I missed it.

[A]

That's okay. So.

[B]

Worth going back to get. Asians are really, like, you know. But not how. Rugie.

[A]

To be honest, though, I dated a girl who was a half black and half Asian years ago. And, like, was she a cop, too? No, she was not a cop. She was a doctor. She was studying to be a doctor. Of course, I only deal with women of magnets of industry. There's big leader titans in the industries. But the. I would, like, be sitting there, like, drinking water and, like, my water cup will get low and, like, not even, like, making a big stink about it. She would, like, pick it up real quick, fill it back and set it back down. I was just like, what the.

[B]

Wow.

[A]

The Hell is this?

[B]

This is what. This is part of what I do.

[A]

That was. I was just a setup. It was just like, oh, your water's low. Let me go get that and fill that back up. And I was like, man, hosp. Yeah, exactly. The hospital, I asked her, I'm like, what the was that about? She's like, it's just been drilled into my head.

[B]

I can see that. I have, I have a home girl that's Guamanian. And she's similar too.

[A]

What is she?

[B]

Guan. Oh, Guamoro.

[A]

Gotcha. Gotcha.

[B]

Yeah. From Guam. Yeah. Very service. Service of their husbands oriented.

[A]

I know it's fucking, you know, not the worst thing in the world.

[B]

I think it's pretty damn cool, to be honest with you.

[A]

So what are your. What are your aspirations in the romance? Like the romantic sense? Are you bachelor for life or do you have kids?

[B]

No, man, I don't have any kids. I'm not married. I'm single right now. I want all that shit.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

But I think it's. Oh my God, I don't know how. I don't know how I'm gonna do it.

[A]

Yeah, you travel. You're saying you're on the road.

[B]

Even that it's like now things have really taken off. Like true. Like, like it's been in for in two years. Like to give perspective. Like I went from not having tick tock or whatever to like, do you. Do you know my whole little origins?

[A]

No, no, no, tell me.

[B]

So I own, I own. I own the biggest black owned comedy club.

[A]

I did see that.

[B]

I did see Washington. It's called Nate Jackson super funny Comedy Club. Okay. I did Wilding out and a bunch of stuff like that. A friend of mine told me to get on TikTok because he was having success on there. And I was like, come on, dude, like, who needs another app? And he's like, go to my page, screenshot it, come back the next day and compare and tell me if you still don't want to be on there. And I went and looked and I was like, that's ridiculous. Growth in one day.

[A]

Yeah, yeah.

[B]

And so I got on TikTok, like posting, posting the stuff that wasn't jokes.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

It wasn't material. Right. That ended up being crowd work or whatever that. So that's Matt Rife telling me to do. We were not consistently was my feature, but we had like some gigs before. Like he was that.

[A]

Oh, so that was the Rife man being like, bro, yeah, gotcha.

[B]

And then I did it and then shit went crazy. And so now I got like 3.8 million or something, like on TikTok.

[A]

Damn.

[B]

And so my road manager was telling me the other day, he was like, dude, that's like one in every 97Americans are following you.

[A]

Oh, yeah.

[B]

So dating has changed.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

Because if they don't know who I am, somebody's like, oh, my God, I've.

[A]

Seen him on Tik Tok.

[B]

Or a waiter's like, sir, yeah, can we get a selfie?

[A]

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

[B]

And so then it affects the dynamic of just when you're dating.

[A]

And that happens. It's the best. Because then a girl's like, is it? They like that. Why? What's the downside?

[B]

I mean, the doubt. There's plenty of downside. Like, they're not even now. They're not even being who they are anymore. They're like, oh, caught a whale.

[A]

Yeah, that's okay, sugar. I didn't think about that. I'm just thinking about coming. Yeah, that's true. If you're trying to. A life building, that is.

[B]

And that's another thing. Right before, they knew that, like, coming was an option.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

Now they know that. They're like, oh, I. Let's see how I can. And string this out. Women do that. They'll give you pussy faster if they don't think you're an actual contender for their heart. For real.

[A]

I could see that.

[B]

That's the new thing. You've been married a while. So the new thing is, if a girl thinks she has no real future with you, but she's attracted, she will smash you. But if she likes you now, she's gonna, like, yeah, she'll wait. She'll string you along forever. Because, you know, I mean, let's build a friendship first. And let's this and this. And you're doing all that being patient. Meanwhile, that same guy has no potential with. It is like. It was cool.

[A]

Have you ever done that, though? Has anyone ever just, like, sat and just, like, not smashed and built like, a genuine friendship?

[B]

No. Well, you. Oh, he said he has.

[A]

What do you do, though?

[B]

Are you just like, hey, Legos.

[A]

Let'S wrestle?

[B]

I guess, buddy, have a shitload of wet dreams.

[A]

Yeah. I feel like I, you know, I was like, man, I wish I did that. But I was. I was with my wife. Luckily, when, like, you know, we were all like an air mattress. So it wasn't like.

[B]

So you guys were. You were in the. You got it out the mud together.

[A]

Yeah. So that was kind of nice, right? You know, the woman you said you were gonna have sex with behind my back on a camera?

[B]

The cop. A cop on an air mattress.

[A]

That sounds like.

[B]

But no, dude.

[A]

Yeah, we met before that. So. Yeah, I couldn't imagine if it was like, it would be kind of weird. But then it's like, what is even the problem with that? That's like having a lady with big tits being like, you just like me because of my big tits. It's like, well, that helps, but it's also.

[B]

No. And I swear to God, I've had this conversation many times, but it's like, who wants a cupcake with no sprinkles? Like, less appreciated for every part of it. Yeah, no, they go. They're like a bag of M&Ms, and they come to you pulling one of the colors out, being like, let's appreciate all the other colors first. So then I know, like, no, I like the yellow ones, too. Most men are like, if I want. If I'm dating a girl or getting serious with a girl, I want access to the whole girl.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

Every. Like, well, let's talk mind, body, spirit, ass, all that shit. If they're serious.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

Yeah, right? And so what. What's happened now is there's dudes that have acted or taken advantage of that, so then they build a wall around it, and now they. They're giving up the pussy last. And unfortunately, it's like your only barometer for telling if a girl truly likes.

[A]

You is, you know, yeah, she gives.

[B]

You the pussy otherwise, because she can act like that. And then. And then the girls are also, like, you can get pussy anywhere. Let's build the other stuff first. So it creates this weird circle of.

[A]

Just like it does. And you're both. That's the problem, too. You're both open to. If you're online dating, it's like, there's just people who, like, they have been talking to or you have been or hitting you up, and you got to be like, oh, actually, it's like, got.

[B]

Somebody a floater, an ex. Next.

[A]

Yeah, that's. That's a practice. They say it's called cushioning that women do, where they'll keep, like, communications going with, like, four or five dudes.

[B]

I call it vine swinging.

[A]

Yeah. Some fucking bullshit, man.

[B]

I have.

[A]

That's something I was never a fan of. Like, dude, just. My friend Mike don't have any fucking friends, dude.

[B]

They have a whole column of guys that they would marry. You ever been over there? Then they got a column of, like. They literally. They run their dating life like a game of Fuck, marry, kill.

[A]

Yeah. True.

[B]

Legitimately.

[A]

Yeah. That's. That's pretty. Yeah. I. I never. I was always more of a boyfriend type. I wish I was more of, like, the mysterious kind of sexy intrigue. I got him.

[B]

The one that always is the one that they fuck.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

And he's like, I just can't get a girl to, like, love me. For real.

[A]

Yeah. That's his whole thing.

[B]

Gorgeous dude. And he just got to the point where he, like, he'd had enough. Like, he'd slayed enough. And he was like, I want a family.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

And every woman is like, ooh, ooh, yeah. And he's like, calm down. Can we just talk?

[A]

We chill.

[B]

Talk. They're all tracing his lips. He's like, God damn it.

[A]

Are you still talking about Matt Rife?

[B]

No, I'm not. I was talking about a whole nother dude. But I bet Matt goes through that same, right? That job.

[A]

Yeah, he's a very. He's a very.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

And once that, like, catches on, too. Once, like, enough women are like, oh, my God, he's so hot. The rest of the hive mind kicks in. They're like, I want to suck his dick, too. And you're like, well, hold on.

[B]

Yeah, I can see it. I guess. I mean, I'm not into dudes, but he has a jawline. I think that's a feature that they like. Yeah.

[A]

You know, the money.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

But, yeah, it is tough. I never thought about the net, the kind of like. Yeah, if you. Once you're, like, kind of doing well, then you have to kind of, like, try to pick, and then we have to pick someone.

[B]

They just told me there's a dating app.

[A]

I heard about this, Raya. I've heard about it.

[B]

Sound. Right.

[A]

Yeah, it's for, like, it's like an elite dating app. Kind of like.

[B]

Like, it's like. So everyone's not overreacting at who they see on there.

[A]

How do you even do that, though?

[B]

They get. Apparently you sign up, like, one of those private Facebook groups where you gotta, like, answer the questions and they vet you and then they let you in. Oh, really? I mean, how else would a police chief date house with a attorney? Date house would a.

[A]

So it goes. It's like, it's. It go.

[B]

Even brand new Detroit lion in the Detroit market.

[A]

That's my question. How hard do you have to be balling, like, if you're, like, in it. If you're like a basic bread thing.

[B]

But it's got to be a notability thing, right? Like a Weather woman is in there.

[A]

Right on. Should be. Yeah.

[B]

She's on TV every day, you know.

[A]

Okay.

[B]

She's not making the same kind of money as.

[A]

But yeah, I know what you mean.

[B]

But yeah. So they told me it was called Raya.

[A]

Someone just literally told me about this.

[B]

They were elite singles, apparently is one. Yeah, but my, my. There you go. How do you get on Raya? My users sign up by inputting basic information about themselves.

[A]

Oh, they probably check your follower count and blah, blah, blah.

[B]

Yeah, well, my boy was like, you're gonna have to get on Raya, dude.

[A]

Damn. But then it's like, I don't know.

[B]

I'm not even a celebrity like that.

[A]

But you might be married. I think you're still Ray material.

[B]

I do get. I. Yeah, I do get stopped though, in real life. Like, well, how, how hard. Exiting the Austin airport just now. Like, you know how you go at that last checkpoint, they're like, there's. If you go past, you can't come back in. Where there's two ladies sitting right there. And one was like, shut the up. You know what I'm saying? Let's get a picture, sugar. So we took a picture and everything. And she was like, we are fans, so that's cool. Yeah, but how do you date? If I'm on a date and that lady walks by. Shut the fuck up.

[A]

I mean, like, I'm like, it is a. Having online notability or notoriety is like a blazing sword in the online dating scene. And I like, got to test this theory out back when I was dating online. So I look at regular profiles. Like, you know, it's kicking around regular dude doing stand up. And then I. My friends did like a web series for and had like Comedy Central. So then I got a picture. I got to add like a small role in it. So I got to put a picture on my dating app of me with the comedy logo. The Comedy Central logo.

[B]

Forget about it, bro.

[A]

It was. It wasn't even right. I should have done it.

[B]

I mean, it was.

[A]

It was kind of like. It was kind of some bullshit on my part because I had like a 2 second thing on a web series. But they. People see that, they go tv.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

And the messages came in way faster.

[B]

I tried to do Tinder, I think it was. And so where I'm from, my show, the super. It was a show before was a club super funny comedy show. And we had this backdrop or like we had a photograph. Scott Payton took immaculate pictures. And he did it for like four years. So you could like Just get dressed up as possible and at the end of the show, be like, Scott. And he would just literally be taking headshots. Yeah. Yeah, he was that good.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

So when I got on the dating site, like, 99.6% of the bitches. Okay. They saw where Scott Page and Scott Payton pictures is, like, from my show. Yeah. You can just reckon he knows, you know? I mean, so I was like, I can't get on the app. Everybody's literally taking pictures for my show.

[A]

Yeah. I mean, I was a pig. I had no problem just utilizing that.

[B]

But I know they wouldn't pick me. I don't know what it was. I'd be on. Like, they would assume because I'm. I'm the guy that has the show and the star of the show or whatever.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

That I'm slaying. So they would pick, like, my band members that were sitting behind me, or they would pick. Pick the comic that's in town. Or they would pick, like, it was answer like, my homies are like, dog, I'm crushing. I had a homeboy. I'm not even gonna say his name because I think he's about to get married. But anyway, he was like, I just saw him on the road in Greensboro, and he was like, dude, I used to slay off saying, I know you. I'm like, what? He's like, yeah, we'd be like, you want to meet Nate? I'm like, are you kidding me? He's like, yeah, like, if they kind of liked us, like, we would say that. And it was a rap.

[A]

Yeah. And you, dude, you can totally. I mean, you know. Yeah, I hear what you're saying. It is tough because you. It's like, if. If you genuinely want to have a family, you have to, like, somehow do the opposite of that line of thinking. It's.

[B]

And also, there's a certain type of woman that. That it will take. Right. Like, a woman has a sign up for a man that is, like, truly trying to go get it, and she may not be his number one priority at all times.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

Right. And that's not a normal like this. She got to be raised away or have, like, a certain upbringing or be around industry before or have tried to chase it on, like, some sort of a proximity to the game to be like, this is a good guy, and it's what he does. So if they're like. And that's not on. That's not on an app. That's not a thing. Like, so the women that fit that profile, like, they have to have had some sort of history with somebody to be like, like, you know. I mean.

[A]

I know what you mean. They're saying you can't be their first rodeo.

[B]

That's a comic. There's no earthly what. Not if you. If you popped. There's no way.

[A]

Yeah, you're gone.

[B]

You. You're 38 weeks, you're out of there.

[A]

You're gone all the time.

[B]

The money's insane, but you're gone.

[A]

Yeah, you're gone. They don't like that at all.

[B]

And it's like, pick some dates and come with me. Let's do that part. And then it's like, but you're still working.

[A]

Yeah, dude, it's nothing worse. My. My wife does that. She's like, we'll just like go out to dinner before the show. And I'm like, I'm not going out to dinner before the show. I don't want to talk. I just.

[B]

We gotta. And we gotta sacrifice and go now we're sitting in Fuddruckers. Like, what? People are like, yeah, excuse me, can I have a picture? You're like, I'm just trying to. Just with my family here. But. So it's a challenge. Yeah, I'm. It's not like to the point where I feel like cursed by it or nothing, but I could see where it's.

[A]

Like, yeah, I just let it rip, man. I was let it. But that's the thing too.

[B]

Like, imagine, like, who's a super known face, like that person trying to date. Like, they have to struggle.

[A]

Like, it's always there.

[B]

You know what I'm saying?

[A]

But it's one of those things. Yeah, it is. It's always there where it's like, do you like me for me?

[B]

Or from Joey, from friends, like in real life. It's just like, I just want to meet a girl that appreciates me, who I am.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

Like, shut up. Joey. Yeah, that's my real name.

[A]

Luckily, I think, luckily for me. I've never. I'm always just kind of like, I've always like, whatever. And it was again, I didn't have to deal with any of that stuff. Yeah, we met.

[B]

You said you on air mattress.

[A]

Yeah, but I always do rub my, like what little success I have in her face at every moment. I'm like, dude, how you like me now? She's like, shut the up. It is funny though, because when you get recognized when you're dating, it's like, yes, dude, I'm definitely getting tonight now. Like, it'll happen with my wife and I Usually even, like, rub that in her face. And now she's, like, immune to it. She's like, whatever. She's like, yeah, here, I'll take a picture. So before I be able to be.

[B]

Like, not even to that point, like, if I'm with. Let's say I'm with friends, and this is my new pet peeve. Let me just share it. It may not even fit where we're at in the conversation. But this is my new pet peeve. If I'm with friends or really, it's my own. My openers or videographer or road manager, somebody will not know who we are. Like, why do I recognize him? And they're like, you don't know who that is?

[A]

Oh, yeah, you don't know who that is?

[B]

Oh, my God. We are on tour. That's. And I'm like, I was just trying to fucking eat some sandwiches. Like, come on, guys. I was. I was cool. I was flying on the radar for just a second.

[A]

My wife does that. You'll blow my spot up all the time. And, like, they, like, don't even care. Is the Internet the way it is? Is, like, people, like, see you, like, oh, my God. And then some people.

[B]

Yeah, yeah. All or nothing. Yeah.

[A]

So my wife will just be like, oh, actually, my cousin. My husband's a comedian online. I'm like, bro, will you please stop doing it?

[B]

Yeah, it's weird to sell it.

[A]

I don't want that. And she's like, I'm just so proud. But I'm like, don't do that.

[B]

She says she's proud. Yeah, I know they do it because they're proud of their role, like, what we do together. You know, I mean, because we're building a thing, and there's such inclusivity and. And, you know, really, we're really building a thing. And so I know they're proud of it, but I'm like, well, just let me just.

[A]

Yeah, dude, I don't want to talk about it.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

Yeah, that's.

[B]

Which is weird because I'm. I rarely even wear this jacket. I don't even want to be who I am. Like.

[A]

But I really.

[B]

You know what I'm saying?

[A]

But no, it's. It is weird because it's one of those things, like, if you were, like, a dentist and you had 40 fucking dental practices and you're making millions of dollars, people won't freak out like that. There's something about show business that gets it, like, rocks people to their core.

[B]

And I'll go a step further and say, yes, for sure. But then the social media, like, it's a whole. Because they are taking. They're. They're taking a shit and holding you like this. Some people are like, dude, I got your stuff on autopl on my tv. I don't even watch TV anymore. Or I got. Like, the amount of connection is nuts. Like, I got out of a Uber two hours before my show where my. Where my assistant and merch manager was late and I had to bring in a crate. And this husband pulled up with his wife. They were looking for parking. At that moment, the wife jumped out the car. N Runs around the front of the car and beeline straight to me. I'm like, shit. And I drop the thing and I just book it, right? And she chases me, and there's, like, this light post. I grab the light post and do, like, you know, you can spin around, and I do that, and I ricochet back the other way. Her husband gets out the car. He's like, she's a fan. She loves you, bro. And I'm like, yeah, I get all that. Well, fuck that. Like, I'm playing now.

[A]

Yeah, you're fucking up.

[B]

But she's like, all right, can we just. Can we just get a picture? Come on.

[A]

Yeah, that's always awkward.

[B]

And the husband's like, yeah, say cheat. Like, while the love of his life is like, dude, I.

[A]

That is the most. That is the most. That's the most uncomfortable possible when it's like, for what role, though?

[B]

Her, him, or me?

[A]

You and him, I would say I think she's having a great time.

[B]

The most.

[A]

Yeah, probably. I've. I've like, yeah. Sometimes the pictures, you'll feel like just someone mashed their tits into you, and you're like, yo, get off me, dude. Your fucking husband.

[B]

This happened to me in.

[A]

I might start being like, get off of me, ma'am. Get off me.

[B]

Back the fuck up.

[A]

I'll take a picture of you, too.

[B]

That was an awesome. Austin was in Austin. Yes. This was here in Austin. The Moody. And so two days ago, and this lady came up and her collar was all smushed inside of itself, right?

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

And she had to meet and greet. And we were, you know, take a picture. And I was like, well, hold on. Your collar's not fixed. And I went to go. I was like, well, do you have a husband or anything like that? And he's like, oh, yeah, he's not here. I was like, let's just fix your collar, right? Fix her collar. And, like, it's still stuck. Her Purse is like cutting a titty off. I'm like, so I grabbed the strap. I'm like, let's move that, move that, move that, fix that. All right, we're ready. You ready? She's like, I'm ready. Like, cool. We take the picture and then. And then she walks forward to, like, the exit because the entrance and exit separate. And she's like, oh, yeah. And that's my husband. I'm like, what? And this big ass, light skin dude's like, yeah, man. I'm like, she say, you weren't here, bro. It was like, no, it's all good. I heard her do this shit. She be doing this kind of shit in public, fucking around, you know? I feel like a. For that.

[A]

Yeah, dude. Yeah.

[B]

She literally was like, he's not here.

[A]

But again, if it were like. If you were just like, Yeah, I own 47, you know, Carabas. And people. They don't give a. It's like, no. If you. If your image gets plastered onto a screen, it, like, deifies people. And people get. They think it's, like a big deal.

[B]

And it's like, well, let's. I'll. I'll. I'll say they do know, but it's not like. It's different. Like, people know at their church because they, like, tithe, and they're like, oh, he balling. Or they know at Rotary or wherever. Like, true. It's a meeting of those kind of. Yeah. I'm saying. Yeah, but this is just. This is just different. So I don't know how in the hell I'm gonna date. You got lucky. Yeah. Got in there beforehand and all that. But I don't know, you know, and I never. I never thought this. This was one. This was, you know, this is an offshoot of what.

[A]

But I was asking you.

[B]

Yeah, no, I'm saying of fame. Like, I wanted. Like, this was always the. I was like, I'm gonna. I'm gonna get it. I'm gonna get after. And now it's like, God damn, I can't find a woman that doesn't just, you know, I mean, yeah, hopefully, but, like, well, there's.

[A]

They'll burn out.

[B]

I want to meet you. I'm like, you are meeting me. No, but, like, the. You that's not like the. Separate from the comic.

[A]

They'll say that I'm.

[B]

I'm what I do. I've been doing this for 20 years. I am what I do now. I'm a comic. Like, you can't say, like, who do you think you're meeting. And then they'll say my government name like, I want to meet Nathaniel. I'm like, what the fuck are you talking about?

[A]

Yeah, no one's called me that's.

[B]

Since Little League baseball.

[A]

And then you're supposed to like. And then you're supposed to be like, well, let's just be buddies. After you said that, it's like, dude, I'm.

[B]

I don't even know what it is, or I would. Here's another thing. So there's a Check how awkward this shit is. So there's another Nate Jackson, right? Like, anybody Googles himself, There's probably another. Your name somewhere, for sure. Yeah. Okay, well, there's two for me. There's a white guy that plays guitar. And so I would say, like, year five of my career, I was in the number one spot on Google Passport.

[A]

You're battling the other Nate Jackson at first. That's sick.

[B]

And then. But then. So there was a backup tight end, third stringer for the Denver Broncos that wrote a book about smoking weed and playing football.

[A]

Sick.

[B]

And soon as the book dropped, he ricocheted into the first he ever took. You dropped me back like five pages.

[A]

No, dude.

[B]

Yeah, right. But now I'm back in the number one spot. Just whatever. Like, sure, but I'm on a date and it'll happen every now and then where somebody's like, how long did you play for the Broncos? Because they googled and I didn't play in the league. Right. But it still comes up if you search sometimes. Like, yeah, yeah, if you just type Nate Jackson. But if you type comedian Nate Jackson, it's all me.

[A]

Sure.

[B]

So I was on a date and the girl was like, what was it like playing for the Broncos? The only place on earth that says that is Google. So I'm like, you Google me?

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

Like, that's. To me. That's weird.

[A]

Yeah, it is fucking weird. No, actually, for women, it makes sense though, because they gotta do, like, a thorough investigation to make sure, like, you're not gonna kill them.

[B]

So they all like, you know. Yeah, I'm not a guy she met in passing. Like, she was at a show and there we are at a dinner and she's like, how long did you play for? Like, you went further to Google and.

[A]

Asked, yeah, you should. You should have been like, you know, it's pretty hard.

[B]

Years was a. I did always get a kick out.

[A]

I had friends that would, like, completely lie to women. That was like their move. They'd be like, like. I was like. It was like years and Years ago. But I've had friends that'd be like, yeah, man. Like, we were like, younger, like, yeah. Like, I own a business. Like, you know, we work together. And I'd be sitting there like, all fallacy. You don't own a business. But I'm like, yeah, that was always a wild move.

[B]

Yeah. I had a. I remember I was in the movies and one of my home. There was like, a scene where, like, the guy had, like, a lot of game. And my homeboy, out loud, was like, oh, I'm gonna use that. But it blew my mind at the time. I was like, wait, what? You can procure game from just mimicking this kind of.

[A]

It definitely is.

[B]

I didn't know that. I was like, you gotta be who you are. I'm gonna be who he was. He was in that movie.

[A]

It's a good move.

[B]

You thought you were with that.

[A]

No, I would never lie like that. I always felt weird being like. Because then it's like, they're gonna find out eventually. But, like, I. I had friends that would just, like, cook up these wild lies. Be like, one.

[B]

One time my boy would sit on the hood of other people's cars and, like, it was his. Yeah.

[A]

One time I did tell a girl I played on. I was visiting La Salle, and I just, like, told this girl that I played, I think, like, soccer or football for some reason. I think somebody said that about me just with her. And I was like, yeah, I play football. And I think we made out because of that. So that's all me. That's my bad. But I was hammered. I don't remember. But I do remember I stole football.

[B]

I almost got a hand job in college for saying I was a Seahawk.

[A]

What?

[B]

So they did their spring training in Cheney, Washington, at Eastern Washington University, where I was a student. And so they would offer to stay over the summer and, like, help the preseason stuff of. And all you're doing is just, like, bringing them water and making sure the cones and stuff are set out for sure. Showing them around town or whatever. But, like, it's a small, rural, populous town. Like, as a black man, like, it's not as far jump for someone to assume you're in town during the summer because you're a Seahawk. Yeah. Yeah, right. And I was like, yeah, I am. I was signing autographs as a Seahawk. My name, Nate Jackson, number 67 or whatever. How much for autograph? I'm like, I don't know. Five bucks. Something for a sandwich?

[A]

No problem.

[B]

I must have made 15 bucks. And signed a couple footballs and almost.

[A]

Got a hand job. That's not bad.

[B]

Yeah. But I didn't sign it to say that I wasn't emulating that just because it was this most innocent little kid that was like, can you sign my ball?

[A]

And I was like.

[B]

It, kid.

[A]

Yeah. Explain this.

[B]

Yeah. Like, and then not only that, 60 of the people that are out there playing that are Seahawks won't be in three weeks anyways.

[A]

Yeah, true.

[B]

I'm saying they're not making.

[A]

And he Googles it and he's like, holy, dude. He played for the Broncos, but I got him.

[B]

And he's hilarious. Yeah, for sure.

[A]

Well, dude, we're at an hour, man. Thanks for doing this, bro. That's. That's crazy. You flew in. You know, I really appreciate that, man. For real.

[B]

No, I appreciate you for having me, man. I hope. I hope that. That. That one, that we. We. That we're friends now.

[A]

Friends.

[B]

And then two, that, you know, the. The avid people that watch this can appreciate this. This dynamic that we have.

[A]

For sure.

[B]

This was fun and organic.

[A]

It's awesome, bro. Yeah, you're.

[B]

I mean, I hope. I hope. I hope it splashes and hits. Well, sure, there's going to be some. Be like, who's this fat black dude? But there's also somebody else that's like, oh, my God.

[A]

Exactly.

[B]

I want more of that.

[A]

Hell yeah, dude. That's what I'm talking about. I just want people having a good time, man.

[B]

Yeah. And so you're invited. Come to my club. Club, dude, please.

[A]

That'd be sick for sure.

[B]

And yeah, I. I'm. I give healthy deals. I want you to eat what you kill. Okay.

[A]

Hell yeah.

[B]

I mean, and we're at. It's in Tacoma, Washington, so we're like 30 minutes south of Seattle.

[A]

Right on.

[B]

And there's another club in town called the Tacoma Comedy Club.

[A]

I did that one once. They're cool.

[B]

No, hate. But we're the other club. We're bigger and nicer and newer.

[A]

Nice.

[B]

And. But you can still go there. And obviously I. I'm a comic, so I'm like, feed your family. I give.

[A]

Yeah. Do whatever you got to do.

[B]

Yeah. Yeah. But this is me inviting you to.

[A]

I appreciate it, man. Yeah. Once. Once I get a. Once I get a new hour, dude, I. I'll swing there.

[B]

Yeah. Or even. Or even if you're working it.

[A]

Tacoma, dude, I'm. I'm worried about the.

[B]

What's it called?

[A]

The Tacoma Comedy Club.

[B]

I don't want you to say I'm Kidding.

[A]

I'm around. They were nice. They were very nice.

[B]

I don't you say them.

[A]

I know I'm kidding.

[B]

Jesus Christ.

[A]

I'm kidding. No. They could use another.

[B]

No. Them. So.

[A]

They were very nice actually. But still they're cool man. It's just fun to say that. Guys.

[B]

The owner as we used to. He's a stand up originally was he really always worked too. Yeah. Oh nice funny guy.

[A]

Nice.

[B]

And so no I'm not knocking.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

It's hard to run a club man. So anybody that's doing it. I'm like dog. I appreciation and respect even for the competition.

[A]

Oh, why don't you just have sex with one of your waitresses at your club?

[B]

That's a Hell no. Jesus Christ. Frankly shouldn't anybody that works for you? You know what I mean? People found out about you too. Yeah.

[A]

We gotta get back to 69 and actually we were really working in earlier.

[B]

I just heard about this called a rainbow kiss.

[A]

What's that?

[B]

We don't have time.

[A]

I think I.

[B]

We don't have time. And it's the nastiest I've ever heard of. But the kids are doing it now.

[A]

Come on, tell me what is it I can't do? Well, it'll be a great way to end.

[B]

You'll just have to. They need to look it up.

[A]

I'll look it. I'll google it afterwards.

[B]

Now? Yeah.

[A]

Let me see it real quick, dude.

[B]

Okay.

[A]

I want to see her to rainbow.

[B]

Give a rainbow a new thing for the kids.

[A]

Images please. No, don't actually.

[B]

Oh yeah. Just heard about that. This is what the kids are doing.

[A]

A supposed sex act in which a man and woman who is menstruating simultaneously perform oral sex on each other.

[B]

69 followed by a kiss where the.

[A]

Couples makes a semen Imperial blood in their mouth.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

That's disgusting.

[B]

That's what the kids are doing.

[A]

No way, dude.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

That's so nasty.

[B]

And there's another one called a snowball kiss or something like that where she just like hawk 2 was in your mouth after.

[A]

Is this supposed to like then I think after you like if you do a rainbow kiss. You do. I will give it to you. If you want to be like, yo, I'm non binary. I'll be like, yeah, you earned it, bro. You have transcended all of sexuality.

[B]

That's way past either of the spectrums that we got for sure.

[A]

I will call them like zur. If you do a rainbow kiss, I'll be like, yes sir, I fully respect you.

[B]

That's Wonderful. Do I tell them where to find me and stuff?

[A]

Yeah, dude. Yeah. Plug.

[B]

Okay, so Mr. Nate Jackson on Instagram and Tik Tok and Nate Jackson comedy on YouTube. And so on Tik Tok and Instagram and Facebook, we release two clips a day of standup or crowd work or whatever. Two clips a day. Something will tickle your fancy. And then once a month at my club, I do an eight camera shoot called the Crowd Work Joint, where I only do crowd work for an hour. It started off, it was just a challenge.

[A]

It's awesome.

[B]

Well, now there's like 14 of them. I've been doing them all year long and they cumulatively have like 15 million views or something. Like, they're going psycho.

[A]

Well, dude, that's how whenever people, like, you know, hear someone, I always just. Just pop up the Instagram, watch the first clip and I watch yours. I'm like, damn, that's hilarious. And I was like, yeah, right away. I always do that. I'm like, hilarious.

[B]

Thank you. But I mean, I'm just glad that, like, I get to show that I'm gifted in that way. Yeah. I mean, yeah, because, like, you can go viral for anything you put online, essentially. And I'm glad I'm not just, like, online every week wearing a wig or something.

[A]

I know what you're saying. Yeah.

[B]

I mean, no, they're so glad.

[A]

They're very funny. They're very.

[B]

Thank you. But yeah, so on YouTube is where that experience is. So. And I'm on tour right now. It's called the Super Funny World Tour, and I'm rolling and it's going really good. So for 2023 in clubs, I sold more tickets than any other comic in America. And then for. Yeah, name them, I beat them.

[A]

Damn.

[B]

I did 17 shows in one week in Chicago and broke the record. Damn. Yeah, it's been a lot. And then, so 2024, transitioning to theaters has been awesome. And so we'll see what happens next and where that's going and stuff. But I just want the people to tap in sick, dude. You know what I'm saying?

[A]

Yeah, man.

[B]

Can we. We should do something together.

[A]

Let's go. Let me. Let me try my hand at crowd work. I'm. I'm terrible at crowd work. I alienate.

[B]

I don't do crowd work on the road. I do something.

[A]

You're saying like a show.

[B]

Yeah, let's do the show. You do. We each do a chunk of time, and that's the show. Let's do it, Pepper.

[A]

Let's do it, dude. I'm down, dude. I can't wait.

[B]

Right?

[A]

That's a deal, dude.

[B]

Bro.

[A]

Appreciate you. Thanks for doing the do. I feel evil selling that stuff, dude. I really do.

[B]

I'm wired. I went from, like, yawning to, like, let's play part cheesy, yo. So, yeah, thanks.

[A]

Thank you, man.