Ep 531 - Bluesky (feat. Billy)

Summary

Episode 531 - Bluesky (feat. Billy) Summary

In Episode 531 of Matt and Shane's Secret Podcast, hosts Matt McCusker and Shane Gillis engage in their trademark fast-paced and humorous dialogue, featuring guest Billy. The episode delves into a mix of political commentary, social media analysis, conspiracy theories, personal anecdotes, and light-hearted banter, providing listeners with a blend of insightful discussions and comedic relief.

---

1. Political Commentary and Conspiracies

The conversation kicks off with a humorous take on Kendrick Lamar potentially joining "The View," linking his political views with those of Vice President Kamala Harris. The hosts speculate on what it would take to have such high-profile figures on mainstream shows, blending satire with political insights.

• Quote:
  Colin: “Could we get him on? Could we get him on the View? What would it take?”
  [01:03]

The discussion shifts towards conspiracy theories surrounding Michael Jackson, addressing unfounded claims of pedophilia and speculating on industry motives behind his alleged murder for financial gains. The hosts dissect these theories with a blend of skepticism and humor, challenging the validity of such accusations.

• Quote:
  Sean Gardini: “He was literally just, oh yeah, you think he's a great peacemaker. Watch this.”
  [08:31]

2. Social Media Evolution: Bluesky vs. Twitter

A significant portion of the episode is dedicated to analyzing the emergence of the social media platform Bluesky in contrast to Twitter (referred to sarcastically as "Blue and on" or "Blue Ski"). The hosts critique the changes in platform terminologies and user behaviors, highlighting the fragmentation and evolving nature of digital communication.

• Quote:
  Colin: “Use Blue ski. Can we stop Blue Ski?”
  [10:34]

The discussion includes playful mockery of the new features and terminologies introduced by Bluesky, such as replacing "tweets" with "skeets," reflecting on how language adapts within online communities.

• Quote:
  Lemaire Lee: “Instead of tweets at the skies, they're called skeets.”
  [11:41]

3. Personal Anecdotes and Humor

The episode is peppered with personal stories and comedic exchanges about everyday experiences. Topics range from skateboarding mishaps and video game frustrations to awkward family interactions and humorous takes on personal habits.

• Skateboarding Incident:
  Sean Gardini: “I was terrible at first. It sucks.”
  [37:03]

• Video Game Banter:
  Colin: “We used to think about losing the computer in Bannerlord.”
  [41:37]

The hosts use these anecdotes to build camaraderie and entertain listeners with relatable humor, seamlessly transitioning between light-hearted stories and broader discussions.

4. Standup Announcements and Interruptions

Interspersed within the main conversation are announcements for upcoming standup comedy shows by Sean Gardini. These segments, while promotional, are delivered in the same casual and humorous tone as the rest of the episode.

• Announcement Example:
  Colin: “Sean Gardini is doing standup comedy shows... please come to those shows if you can.”
  [23:39]

5. Confronting Offensive Language and Harassment

Throughout the episode, the hosts navigate conversations that include offensive language and sensitive topics. They address issues like racism, pedophilia allegations against public figures, and derogatory remarks with a mix of satire and critical commentary, aiming to highlight the absurdity and gravity of such issues.

• Quote:
  Colin: “Every single one? They hate that chick Nancy Mace on there, though.”
  [12:28]

---

Notable Quotes with Timestamps

1. Political Speculation:
   Colin: “Could we get him on? Could we get him on the View? What would it take?”
   [01:03]

2. Conspiracy Theories:
   Sean Gardini: “He was literally just, oh yeah, you think he's a great peacemaker. Watch this.”
   [08:31]

3. Social Media Critique:
   Colin: “Use Blue ski. Can we stop Blue Ski?”
   [10:34]

4. Terminology Mockery:
   Lemaire Lee: “Instead of tweets at the skies, they're called skeets.”
   [11:41]

5. Skateboarding Humor:
   Sean Gardini: “I was terrible at first. It sucks.”
   [37:03]

6. Video Game Frustration:
   Colin: “We used to think about losing the computer in Bannerlord.”
   [41:37]

7. Confronting Offensive Remarks:
   Colin: “Every single one? They hate that chick Nancy Mace on there, though.”
   [12:28]

---

Conclusion

Episode 531 of Matt and Shane's Secret Podcast offers a dynamic mix of political commentary, social media analysis, conspiracy theories, and personal humor. The hosts navigate through complex and sometimes controversial topics with their characteristic wit and irreverence, providing listeners with both entertainment and thought-provoking discussions. Whether critiquing the evolution of social media platforms or debunking unfounded conspiracy theories, Matt, Shane, and their guests maintain an engaging and humorous dialogue that resonates with a diverse audience.

Transcript

[Sean Gardini]

Hey, I don't wanna look again. Oh, just give me the word, Sean.

[Lemaire Lee]

Oh, that sounds like the chanting and sorry.

[Sean Gardini]

I up the clap. My bad.

[Colin]

Is it good? We'll be able to identify in the. In the editing room.

[Sean Gardini]

We should do a nonverbal episode where you always go primal. Totally primal. That's a better way to put it. Yeah, primal screams.

[Lemaire Lee]

That's probably what's been happening here the last few months.

[Colin]

That's a black caveman.

[Sean Gardini]

Yeah.

[Colin]

Please speak on it so they don't think I'm just being a white racist.

[Eddie]

I thought it was hilarious.

[Colin]

Thank you very much, bro.

[Sean Gardini]

No, you can't talk about it.

[Lemaire Lee]

White comedians never speak on white.

[Colin]

That's law.

[Sean Gardini]

That's law, bro.

[Colin]

Y'all are done.

[Sean Gardini]

That's law. Kendrick Lamar is joining the View as their six hoes.

[Lemaire Lee]

He looks like.

[Sean Gardini]

I was literally.

[Colin]

I was like, oh, we'll save it for the pot. I was like, Lemaire's political views line perfectly with the View. He's like, israel needs to defend itself. That's all we need. Kamala, how.

[Sean Gardini]

I mean, dude, could we get him on? Could we get him on the View? What would it take?

[Colin]

We could just knock out whoopies, shave.

[Lemaire Lee]

Lamar's face, take the chair. This. Shave the side of Lemaire's hair and his face, and he might be on there. That's love.

[Colin]

What the are you guys talking about? Secret.

[Eddie]

You know, stuff.

[Colin]

All right. Oh, my God.

[Sean Gardini]

Yeah, he's got a dude. I. I don't know why. When did he become, like, the ruler.

[Lemaire Lee]

Of everybody sucks, dude.

[Sean Gardini]

Kendrick Lamar. We have a black president. It's Jay Z. Kendrick Lamar needs to stand down, dude.

[Lemaire Lee]

Not Jay Z started sacrifice Morgan, bro.

[Sean Gardini]

Huh?

[Lemaire Lee]

Him and the beehive.

[Sean Gardini]

What?

[Lemaire Lee]

I don't with them. Once they opened up for the DNC shout out lam. I was like, dude, these people are scumbags.

[Colin]

Mayor wanted a mama love. Mayor cried with mama before, before I get out of here, the tweet heard around the world.

[Lemaire Lee]

Before.

[Sean Gardini]

Before I get out of here.

[Colin]

One of the all time lamest tweets.

[Billy]

It wasn't that bad, dude.

[Lemaire Lee]

You had a tweet right before it. Before I get out of here. Then you had another tweet after that before, before I get out.

[Billy]

Tweeting, though.

[Colin]

What was the full tweet?

[Sean Gardini]

Huh?

[Colin]

Do you remember what the tweet was.

[Billy]

Before I get out of here?

[Colin]

Well, it's before. Before I get out.

[Billy]

No, what's about. Oh, no.

[Colin]

It was about China won because Trump won.

[Sean Gardini]

Where did you get such an idea.

[Colin]

From, you know, watches wrestling in the View. Dude, I didn't know wrestling fans were all liberal.

[Lemaire Lee]

Oh, yeah.

[Sean Gardini]

I didn't know that either.

[Colin]

I thought for sure they'd be the boys.

[Sean Gardini]

I think.

[Lemaire Lee]

I just think there's no in between.

[Colin]

Every time someone trashes me on Twitter, I click it and it's like, yeah, it's cartoon wrestling.

[Sean Gardini]

What?

[Colin]

Every time there's a.

[Lemaire Lee]

They're. It's. They're very binary.

[Colin]

Nazi guy with down syndrome. Yeah.

[Sean Gardini]

I could see becoming, like, a staunch feminist being a wrestling fanny. But guys, for real, these women are strong.

[Colin]

Yeah. China.

[Sean Gardini]

Yeah.

[Colin]

All of them. Yeah. All the divas.

[Sean Gardini]

Like, women are jacked and have big, huge butts. They can do.

[Lemaire Lee]

I think they just do exactly what their parents do.

[Colin]

What do you mean?

[Lemaire Lee]

The bros. It's like, if you have liberal parents, you're just a drag queen. Down syndrome kid.

[Colin]

Or it's like, oh, you're talking about people with down syndrome. Yeah, yeah, that's. Now those guys are making some choices.

[Sean Gardini]

They have a lot of choices.

[Colin]

They're stubborn as. They make any choice and it's over. That's their choice.

[Lemaire Lee]

Same here.

[Sean Gardini]

I'd love to see him form, like, a real political block.

[Lemaire Lee]

It would be great where, like, politicians.

[Sean Gardini]

Would have to, like, start pandering.

[Colin]

Yeah. We're going to have wrestling again. We are. It's a government mandate. There will be 10 new shreks by the year 2035. There will be 20 new shreks. That'd be nice. They'd win.

[Sean Gardini]

They'd get mobilized.

[Lemaire Lee]

When we walked in.

[Colin]

Oh, yeah, the.

[Lemaire Lee]

I remember that smell.

[Colin]

I haven't been here. The last time I was here was when I did Trump on Kill Tony. It's sitting on the. In the bathroom. My. I literally just took my clothes off and left.

[Sean Gardini]

Your clothes are sitting there?

[Colin]

Yeah, they're just still sitting there.

[Sean Gardini]

Like, when a homeless person sheds the.

[Colin]

Garb, it's literally like two bags of chips and a bottle of water on the ground.

[Sean Gardini]

It looks like he got evicted.

[Colin]

Yeah. But we can't. I haven't been here since came back in. House smells entirely like you think so. It did. It's getting better now.

[Lemaire Lee]

Just like this. Blunt guts. Oh, yeah, that's what it is.

[Sean Gardini]

You saw blunt guts.

[Lemaire Lee]

I just smell it.

[Colin]

The whole back room, he's been sitting back there, smoking blunts, jacking off.

[Lemaire Lee]

Come on, Leon.

[Sean Gardini]

It sounds kind of nice.

[Billy]

Jacket off in there.

[Lemaire Lee]

Only beat off in that room.

[Colin]

There's no way you got horny in there and walked across to your Room to jack off. I know you stayed in there at least once.

[Billy]

At least once I had to reclaim the room.

[Sean Gardini]

But every other time, you did a boner shuffle straight to the pool house.

[Billy]

Had to do the bone shuffle.

[Colin]

Damn.

[Sean Gardini]

So you caught one in there. That's one thing I'm proud of. My laptop. I've never caught one off my laptop.

[Lemaire Lee]

Really?

[Sean Gardini]

Makes you feel good.

[Colin]

Yeah. Yeah. It's untainted.

[Sean Gardini]

Clean. Yeah. It's a clean machine. It's got. No, I haven't. I haven't smutted my laptop out. It's just a workhorse.

[Lemaire Lee]

Sometimes it calls her.

[Sean Gardini]

And then this little.

[Lemaire Lee]

Takes your rose toy.

[Colin]

Takes the brun.

[Sean Gardini]

This poor thing.

[Lemaire Lee]

That is our toy.

[Colin]

Junior Kids, bro.

[Sean Gardini]

That's the worst.

[Lemaire Lee]

How is our true life? I'm addicted to porn. The guy had to put in a password.

[Sean Gardini]

They'll stop you, but they. You're just like, yeah, I love them anyway. Let me. One day they'll understand. Their father was a complicated man. Just right past him. Yes, It's. No, stop.

[Colin]

Yeah, I'll decline. Mom. Phone call. Jacking. Off you go. Decline.

[Sean Gardini]

Yeah, actually stop while doing it. Take the call. And the whole time you're like, please just let.

[Colin]

I'd love to tell you I never did that.

[Lemaire Lee]

Yeah.

[Colin]

Yes. I've taken some phone calls mid beat and then gone right back. They gotta work it back up again.

[Lemaire Lee]

I know.

[Colin]

It's actually kind of nice. You get a second beat.

[Lemaire Lee]

Cooks would hit me with that all the time. You call me like, 3:30. I like, I can't talk right now. You're jerking off.

[Colin]

Like.

[Lemaire Lee]

No, I'm not.

[Sean Gardini]

Who hit you with that?

[Colin]

Cooks and. Really?

[Lemaire Lee]

Yeah.

[Sean Gardini]

Oh, it's true. 3:30 is like.

[Lemaire Lee]

Yeah.

[Colin]

It's prime time afterwards.

[Sean Gardini]

Yeah. If you're working a seven to three like a man.

[Colin]

Yeah.

[Sean Gardini]

If you're on a girl schedule. 9 to 5. Just kidding.

[Colin]

Love you. I love you, Mayor. Sorry, man. We didn't mean to be sexist like that.

[Sean Gardini]

Yeah, so you. Did you get attacked online?

[Lemaire Lee]

Trump won.

[Colin]

He cried.

[Billy]

I didn't cry.

[Colin]

Yeah, you did. He did. You saw him cry. Damn, bro.

[Billy]

I did not cry. I did make hot dogs, but we.

[Colin]

Made some sad hot dogs.

[Billy]

It was post noctis hot dogs.

[Sean Gardini]

Did you boil them or how'd you cook them?

[Billy]

Of course. Oh, you got to boil the dog, dude.

[Lemaire Lee]

Damn, bro.

[Sean Gardini]

Just boiled your mis.

[Colin]

Kamal would have won you. You would have hit the grill.

[Sean Gardini]

Oh, yeah, yeah.

[Colin]

You'd have got the Bluetooth speaker going, pig's feet.

[Sean Gardini]

That's foot longs. Dude, yeah, that's grilled foot long. Some kielbas, Kiel bosses for a Kabambala Kilbasa Harris. Where is she? Is she still like hell bent on saving the country or is she like just.

[Lemaire Lee]

No, she's $20 million in debt after they raised a billion dollars. She probably would have been a great fighter.

[Sean Gardini]

She not fighting the fight still.

[Colin]

I fig.

[Sean Gardini]

I thought that's all she wanted to do.

[Lemaire Lee]

What?

[Sean Gardini]

Yeah, I thought she'd be fighting the fights.

[Colin]

No, they're not done. The message of joy continues.

[Sean Gardini]

At least they got those missiles to Ukraine. That was important.

[Lemaire Lee]

Yeah, that was huge. You know, and then Shapiro signed them too. That was real huge that Shapiro did. Yeah.

[Sean Gardini]

We're going loving humanity domestically after we ship those long range missiles to Ukraine and blast Russians. That was a wild move, by the way.

[Colin]

It was. It really bothered me.

[Sean Gardini]

Yeah. That was just like, what you. What a fucking spaz.

[Lemaire Lee]

Stop.

[Sean Gardini]

What a spaz to be like, okay, well, fuck that. I don't care about money at all.

[Colin]

Trump's going to end the war. Fuck you guys.

[Sean Gardini]

I know.

[Colin]

We can fire everything we have.

[Sean Gardini]

It did feel like kind of like, oh yeah, you think he's a great peacemaker. Watch this. And it's like, you guys are nasty.

[Lemaire Lee]

They did it with the jab, bro.

[Sean Gardini]

Although, dude, nothing worse than a scorned woman, dude.

[Lemaire Lee]

Got that?

[Colin]

Yeah.

[Sean Gardini]

Hell hath no fury.

[Colin]

Dude, she might be in there, dude. They might get rid of Biden for that.

[Lemaire Lee]

Joe.

[Colin]

Joe Biden.

[Sean Gardini]

She'll get to taste the. That'd be cool if she had to taste the.

[Colin]

She had to do it for a few days.

[Sean Gardini]

Should the taste of pre.

[Colin]

Yeah.

[Sean Gardini]

At the White House tour, they said.

[Colin]

That she killed it for like a week. One week. It was just great.

[Lemaire Lee]

Did you see that? Joe Biden voted in an all red suit. And Trump said, yo, he hates you, Kamala. And it's true. Joe Biden won. Shake her hand.

[Sean Gardini]

Hold on. Jill Biden wore the red. She flew the flag.

[Lemaire Lee]

She rocked all red to go vote.

[Sean Gardini]

Dr. Jill.

[Colin]

Yes, the doctor. Now she's officially got a doctor.

[Sean Gardini]

Who she Dr. Seuss. Why would she wear it all? Why would she wear it all red?

[Lemaire Lee]

I don't think, like, I don't think Byron's going to step down.

[Colin]

Joe, Byron.

[Lemaire Lee]

Byron's not going to Let them hit 25th Amendment. Although time traveler at the end of his thing said, be careful what you wish for. They might hit you with that.

[Sean Gardini]

Dude, there's no. He's definitely standing down.

[Lemaire Lee]

No way.

[Colin]

Time travel to Trump said, be careful what you wish. When we said that. No, pass it.

[Lemaire Lee]

You ever see like it's a book about. It was a book written in like.

[Colin]

Yeah, yeah.

[Lemaire Lee]

The ventures of Baron Trump or whatever.

[Colin]

Yeah.

[Lemaire Lee]

He has a. He's a time traveler.

[Colin]

I know, but what did he say in El Paso?

[Lemaire Lee]

Oh, be careful what you wish for because they were trying to hit Trump with the 25th amendment and now Byron might be get hit with it. That was like four years ago.

[Colin]

Joe Biden, when they.

[Sean Gardini]

I always forget he's the president.

[Lemaire Lee]

Yeah.

[Sean Gardini]

The last like two months or I guess now it's been like a couple weeks. I've been like, okay, so Trump's. I'm like, oh, yeah. Whenever someone's like, President Elect. I'm like, oh, yeah, yeah. I gotta remember stuff like that. Be like, the President elect.

[Lemaire Lee]

You mean it's gonna be the president. Blue Anons.

[Colin]

Going crazy right now. Blueski.

[Sean Gardini]

What's up? Blue and on.

[Lemaire Lee]

Blue and on. That it's there. I feel for them because I was there and they're like, oh, no, you don't understand. In two weeks it's all going to come out. It's like it's always two weeks and nothing ever happens. Have you seen blue sky?

[Sean Gardini]

No, it's.

[Lemaire Lee]

It's not. It's different than the other place.

[Colin]

It's Blueski.

[Lemaire Lee]

The other place that we don't talk about.

[Colin]

I thought it was Blue ski. The first 30 times I saw, I was like, no, we're talking about Blueski.

[Lemaire Lee]

X is the other place.

[Sean Gardini]

Oh, blue skies. Live Twitter.

[Lemaire Lee]

It's blue skies.

[Sean Gardini]

Live Twitter.

[Colin]

Use Blue ski. Can we stop Blue Ski?

[Sean Gardini]

I'm sorry.

[Colin]

It's obviously Blue Ski.

[Sean Gardini]

Blue Ski.

[Lemaire Lee]

It's crazy.

[Colin]

I actually know it was a genuine mistake.

[Lemaire Lee]

That's good boomer juice, though.

[Colin]

I was fully like, the hell's Blue ski?

[Sean Gardini]

That's got to be so fun to go over there, dude.

[Lemaire Lee]

They're deranged. It's crazy. It's like seeing the opposite of me.

[Sean Gardini]

Why are they starting blue Ski? Dude, Trump's.

[Lemaire Lee]

They don't want to go on the other place, dude. There's nothing over there.

[Colin]

And we're gonna call it Twitter. We're not calling it X.

[Sean Gardini]

Everybody calls it Twitter still.

[Colin]

I know. It's the lame. That's so that's the pronoun joke for the left.

[Sean Gardini]

Yeah.

[Colin]

You know how pronoun they're like. My pronouns are I love pussy. There's like Twitter or X or whatever it's even called these days.

[Sean Gardini]

Yeah.

[Colin]

They say every single time.

[Sean Gardini]

That's funny.

[Lemaire Lee]

All the. They're called skeets, too, bro. They're called skeets.

[Sean Gardini]

Instead of tweets at the skies, they're called skeets.

[Colin]

We gotta put out a new come.

[Sean Gardini]

Yeah, they might get me over there. I'd love to skeet all day.

[Lemaire Lee]

Either skeet or re skeet.

[Sean Gardini]

A re skeet.

[Colin]

I swear to God, if skeet don't get you. Re skeet.

[Lemaire Lee]

It's all like, hinge jokes and then, like, horrible stuff. Like, before. Before I get out of here. Try to walk.

[Sean Gardini]

It's like, true social. It's just. Probably just completely deranged.

[Colin]

What do they call, like, over there?

[Lemaire Lee]

I don't know. I think it's a.

[Sean Gardini]

Like, it's a yes. It's a yes.

[Colin]

They gobble it up. It's a yes.

[Sean Gardini]

You get yes.

[Colin]

Do you? Yes. People's jizz got nice jizz. I never thought of it that way.

[Lemaire Lee]

They all. They hate that chick Nancy Mace on there, though. Did you see that? I love her, dude. Yeah, she just reminds me of my mom.

[Sean Gardini]

What was Nancy Mace doing? She's pissed.

[Lemaire Lee]

She's pissed because there's a fucking tranny in Congress. It's huge. It looks like if she had a wig on, bro. Dude, fuck that. You can't go with the bathroom.

[Colin]

Why not?

[Sean Gardini]

Thought what?

[Lemaire Lee]

It's crazy, but they all want to kill Nancy Mace because she's like, dude, I don't want dudes in our bathrooms. And they're. It's really the video.

[Colin]

The videos they make. Like, I saw a video of her rip because they put up a bunch of, like, trans flags over the bathroom sign, and she, like, had somebody film her ripping them down and be like, this is not. It's literally. They're all, like, teachers making tick tocks. That's what Congress has become. It's like, follow me. On my day as a congresswoman, this is what I wear. And then I signed a bill.

[Lemaire Lee]

I make no sense.

[Sean Gardini]

Latte.

[Colin]

We are at war.

[Sean Gardini]

That's.

[Colin]

It's fun.

[Sean Gardini]

That's.

[Colin]

We haven't addressed the homeless situation, so.

[Sean Gardini]

She was like, watch this and just rip down the flag. Damn.

[Lemaire Lee]

Yeah, their days are numbered, bro.

[Sean Gardini]

Yeah, I mean, that's.

[Lemaire Lee]

Chicks are about to start rising up against the trans. That's also going to be one of the great battles, like the titans versus the gods.

[Colin]

The women's rise. If the women's rise up against the trans. I'm signed with the trans.

[Lemaire Lee]

Are you serious?

[Colin]

Yeah, that'd be hilarious.

[Lemaire Lee]

That would be very fun.

[Colin]

Dudes rule the out of Women.

[Sean Gardini]

Yeah. But it's going to be a lot of COVID psychic warfare. You know, it's going to be a lot of relational. I'm kind of walking and being like, nice shoes.

[Lemaire Lee]

Oh, Mag is barged into a chick's bathroom, Especially a locker room.

[Colin]

Think about this. It probably doesn't work on them. They probably try to hit the tees with, like, what would hurt a woman. Yeah, your shoes look shitty. Yeah, it's just a guy going like, I'm sneaking into the bathroom.

[Sean Gardini]

I got these for 12 bucks out of the Ross.

[Colin]

Comfortable wearing cell phone clips on their belts. What.

[Lemaire Lee]

Shirt tucked into huge tits.

[Colin]

All right, I think it was just.

[Sean Gardini]

A giant pull up, pull up. There was the moment when, like, she was the congressman was sitting there and it was just like a full, like, Oh, a giant dove. That's it.

[Colin]

Yeah.

[Sean Gardini]

This is one place of peace taking like a six, three, dude airport dump. I'd get political.

[Colin]

Political.

[Sean Gardini]

I'd be like, all right, this is enough.

[Lemaire Lee]

That is exposing them too, because they hate around dudes.

[Sean Gardini]

Oh, yeah.

[Lemaire Lee]

That might be the number one problem.

[Sean Gardini]

Yeah, well, they. They want to say that's an intimate thing they want to say for their husband or boyfriend.

[Colin]

Well, Mayor, how do you feel about all this bigotry? Because me, you know what? I'm starting to join the View here. I'm a little uncomfortable by what the McCusker brothers have. And I have nothing to do with it.

[Sean Gardini]

Join the.

[Colin]

I might pull up a chair.

[Sean Gardini]

The show has to go on forever. I hope it never stops.

[Colin]

It's getting better.

[Sean Gardini]

Is it really?

[Colin]

Turn it on. It's hilarious.

[Sean Gardini]

Yeah, I only see the clips and it's them.

[Colin]

They're spazzing, fighting all day.

[Lemaire Lee]

One chick dresses like she's from, like the Galactic Federation. It's crazy.

[Sean Gardini]

I like whoopy on there. Whoopi's the voice. Whoop's the voice of reason on the View.

[Colin]

I saw your watering ass eyes, you liberal dude.

[Sean Gardini]

That's some respect.

[Colin]

Come on, man.

[Sean Gardini]

Me and Billy were talking the other day.

[Colin]

We have a little respect.

[Sean Gardini]

Me and Billy have came to the agreement that if you're an atheist, you're a pervert just by default. It's just. It's just masochism. You're just taking a belief system like, oh, yeah, I'm so alone in this universe. It's a perverted stuff.

[Lemaire Lee]

It's a cop out.

[Sean Gardini]

It is a total cop out. It's fake, big boy.

[Lemaire Lee]

I don't have a boss. I guess you do, brother.

[Sean Gardini]

Yes, you do, bro.

[Lemaire Lee]

God.

[Colin]

Yep.

[Sean Gardini]

Save that bull crap for Blue Ski, dude. You go on Blue Ski.

[Colin]

God's not even real. And my dad won't talk to me.

[Sean Gardini]

I told my dad to take down his Trump sign. I got kicked out of things.

[Lemaire Lee]

I can't wait for Thanksgiving, brother.

[Sean Gardini]

My parents are, like, kind of like. They were. They were like. They're asking me, did you put up a Trump sign? I was like, no, I didn't put one up on my lawn. They kind of looked at me like, bitch. They're like, we had four. I didn't want to do that.

[Colin]

I did get to watch a guy collect his signs.

[Sean Gardini]

Oh.

[Colin]

On the way to. I was on the way to tires and on my way to work, and I got to watch a guy in the morning, morning after the election, picking up his Winners Mile Harris signs.

[Sean Gardini]

They're Kombulas.

[Colin]

It was really fun to watch.

[Sean Gardini]

I'm gonna put up a combo forever.

[Colin]

It was so funny to watch it.

[Billy]

Just to defeat it.

[Colin]

And he was one of those guys that had, like, 90 in his front yard.

[Sean Gardini]

Yeah.

[Colin]

He just had to go out there 8am how many did you pass?

[Lemaire Lee]

You put any?

[Colin]

Did you have. Yeah, you probably had a couple outsides.

[Sean Gardini]

This place was damned out. This is Blue Ski headquarters.

[Lemaire Lee]

While you're gone.

[Colin]

That might be Blueski headquarters back there. Are you the king of Blue Ski, Colin?

[Billy]

Already up there? Oh, my God.

[Colin]

What happened?

[Billy]

Nothing. I'm sorry.

[Colin]

Hold on. No. What did you say?

[Billy]

There's another guy running named Colin Allred.

[Sean Gardini]

What was his deal?

[Billy]

I don't know.

[Colin]

Was he a local? Dev, she's a local.

[Billy]

Dim? Yeah.

[Colin]

What did you like about him other than just that he was a Dem? I liked.

[Billy]

His name is All Red.

[Colin]

All right, True. That's good enough.

[Sean Gardini]

I tell you, I got to vote this year for the first time.

[Colin]

Nice. How'd it go?

[Sean Gardini]

It was kind of swell.

[Colin]

Yeah. You told me it was kind of fun.

[Sean Gardini]

Yeah, I went in there. It was. Dude. Everyone sits in a voting place very, like. It's like you would think, for real. They were, like, all, like, rescuing babies. Everyone has, like, a face. Like, they look at each other and.

[Colin]

Go, doing your civic duty.

[Sean Gardini]

They're not at me. I said, hold on, brother. Although, to be fair on the. You know, there's, like, the main thing, the big election, big vote, and then you have, like, do, like, a million tiny votes. And there I got. I just started just throwing them to whoever.

[Colin]

Yeah. I was going, bing, bang, bang, bang, bang, bing, bong.

[Sean Gardini]

Anyone in, like, the court. I'd be like, Democrat. Just in case I around get in trouble for something, I want to get a little catch and release action.

[Colin]

We need the big one.

[Lemaire Lee]

Go to.

[Colin]

We also need to.

[Sean Gardini]

I won't say. I won't say.

[Colin]

If we're gonna sit here and cross the L. We have owned the libs for the first however many minutes. Pocket. We've been owning the libs.

[Sean Gardini]

We have.

[Colin]

It's time to focus on the right a little.

[Sean Gardini]

What are they up to?

[Colin]

There's a lot of pedophiles.

[Sean Gardini]

What?

[Colin]

They're all pedophiles.

[Sean Gardini]

Are they really?

[Colin]

Yeah. Every single one?

[Lemaire Lee]

Yeah.

[Sean Gardini]

Dude, did I support. Did you say this before? I'm trying to think if I heard this from you. Pedophiles, literally.

[Lemaire Lee]

It's not funny.

[Sean Gardini]

Have you talked about this before? I was like, has anyone ever talked about how Michael Jackson became so successful he became a white pedophile?

[Lemaire Lee]

He's not pedophile. Relax.

[Sean Gardini]

He's not a pedophile.

[Lemaire Lee]

He is not.

[Colin]

This is the true conspiracy theorist. Call everyone that is not a pedophile. A pedophile. Yeah. The king of pop, dude.

[Lemaire Lee]

Bro, he is not. Do you think he was like, schmooly had something to do with it? Candace Owens came out and said that.

[Sean Gardini]

What?

[Lemaire Lee]

Yeah, he was not a pedophile.

[Colin]

I don't.

[Lemaire Lee]

I. At least I don't think so.

[Colin]

Hold up.

[Lemaire Lee]

There's all sorts of where, like the one dude, the first dude that accused him, the kid, the mom and dad, like, liked him or whatever, but then the. Their mom and stepdad liked mj and that kid would chill there. And then the dad was like, well, you're at whose house that. And sued him and got the money and. And then just kept having that boy. That boy was.

[Colin]

Hold on.

[Sean Gardini]

The dad was like, you're at Michael Jackson's house. I'm suing him for.

[Lemaire Lee]

Yeah, Pedophile. Yeah, the dude's a scumbag.

[Sean Gardini]

So you're pedophile, dude.

[Lemaire Lee]

I swear to God. I think he got set up and then I think he got killed for his record.

[Colin]

Record.

[Lemaire Lee]

There's this whole thing where it's like.

[Sean Gardini]

Apparently he owned a bunch of stuff in Vacation.

[Colin]

Locked in.

[Sean Gardini]

I've heard that. I heard he owned stuff and.

[Colin]

Yeah.

[Sean Gardini]

What are they saying on the blue skies? They're saying, I heard he owned like a piece of Sandals.

[Billy]

That's.

[Sean Gardini]

I've heard that before. They killed him for the Sandals.

[Colin]

The resorts.

[Sean Gardini]

Yeah, yeah.

[Colin]

MJ owned the resorts.

[Sean Gardini]

I swear to God. I think he had, like, in one of those giant companies, he had a.

[Eddie]

Huge stake I thought he. I thought he owned a little bit of the Beatles.

[Lemaire Lee]

He did.

[Colin]

Yeah.

[Eddie]

And I thought that's what they.

[Lemaire Lee]

One of the best bands of all time.

[Sean Gardini]

He owned the Beatles.

[Eddie]

I get it.

[Colin]

Not so tough now.

[Eddie]

What, am I going to keep defending Drake? That's all it was about.

[Lemaire Lee]

It wasn't about none.

[Colin]

Drake is number one.

[Eddie]

Yeah, they're good. Now I'm a pedophile.

[Sean Gardini]

I said it.

[Colin]

I said, no, you're not.

[Sean Gardini]

Drake's a visionary, dude. He was. He was totally right. Kendrick is. I don't know why he's so anti comedy, dude. He's totally crossed the line.

[Colin]

He's anti comedy, dude. And there's one thing I hate is when comedians get censored, they are the canaries in the culminant, the canaries in the coal mine. Modern day philosophers.

[Sean Gardini]

Someone was telling me, I think Pedro's telling me I should keep tape on my mouth until I go out on.

[Lemaire Lee]

Stage and then go, yeah, just write society on tape.

[Colin]

Stay. Something nuts. I was holding that one in.

[Lemaire Lee]

What?

[Colin]

No, I'm just saying, just. Oh, something horrendous. Ajax used to.

[Lemaire Lee]

Ajax was listening to a book for a while. He would post on Instagram of just do a duct tape over mouth and just said, society on the duct tape.

[Colin]

Sick.

[Sean Gardini]

Damn.

[Colin]

Remember Tommy Zimbazzo's headshot?

[Lemaire Lee]

Yeah.

[Colin]

At McGoobies he had the caution tape and the microphone is a gun.

[Lemaire Lee]

That's sick, dude.

[Colin]

I think it was. I didn't mean to name the man.

[Billy]

He was the man, Mike. Michael Jackson got killed by Sony.

[Colin]

Yeah.

[Sean Gardini]

Oh, so it was over the Beatles music.

[Billy]

Yeah. That went back to Paul McCartney, but he got killed by Sony because they're supposed to do a tour and they'd make more money off the insurance if they killed him.

[Lemaire Lee]

There's a whole thing in the music industry with that. Also, bodyguard was at MJ's hospital when he died.

[Sean Gardini]

P. Diddy's bodyguard?

[Lemaire Lee]

Yeah, the nutty, like, Ray Donovan Muslim dude that P. Diddy had was at Michael Jackson's hospital when he died. But there's a whole thing, there's a documentary about it where like, once they're done with you and your record sales start dying off, they own insurance on you and they get double paid for killing you and your skyrockets and they get all the money.

[Sean Gardini]

Damn.

[Lemaire Lee]

So they get a lot. They have an insurance policy on the artist and when they kill the artist, they get the insurance policy because he fucking dies. And then they're saying, like, look at Princess sales go through the fucking roof. They take all of it. Many, many cases.

[Sean Gardini]

Is that what the sacrifice is all about?

[Lemaire Lee]

Part of it. When you're evil, bro wants to sacrifice you.

[Sean Gardini]

Quick announcement. For Irvine, California, or really all of SoCal. You guys know I'm SoCal as hell. I've been SoCal, but yeah, I'll be at the Irvine Improv 1129. That's this upcoming weekend. Well, I guess next weekend, whatever. 11:29 and 11:30th. And I've also added a show on 11:31 or 12:1. I'm not sure how many days are in November, but you get the point. Next Friday? Next Saturday. Next Sunday I'll be in Irvine, California. And let me just say for the record, la, dude, it's all about Irvine. I'm sick of people from LA being like, oh, you're going to Irvine? I'd never go down you, dude, shut up. Irvine's where all the reels are, not a bunch of pretenders out in la. I'm gonna be a famous actor. No, you're not. Grow up and move to Irvine. I'll see you there. God bless you all. Be the bigger man in the park sometimes.

[Colin]

Pardon the interruption. This may or may not be Sean Gardini speaking. And this may or may not be Sean Gardini on camera. Who is speaking and who is on camera is not important. I've come to tell you that Sean Gardini is doing standup comedy shows. The upcoming shows are in Cleveland, Ohio, December 8, Buffalo, New York, December 10, and Baltimore, Maryland, December 11. Please come to those shows if you can. The tickets [e-mail]. thank you. And we're back.

[Sean Gardini]

Hey, well, okay, so MJ not a pedophile.

[Lemaire Lee]

I'm not afraid, everybody.

[Colin]

So you're saying MJ's not a PED. You're. You're ruling pedophile. Not a pedophile.

[Lemaire Lee]

I don't think he's a pedophile.

[Colin]

Now do Donald Trump.

[Lemaire Lee]

Donald Trump. It's because I looked into all the republic. I'm blue and on now. Yes, I'm liberal. I watch a video with lam simple.

[Colin]

Yes or no?

[Lemaire Lee]

It's hard to say because if he was a pedophile, they would have got him on it by now. That's the only thing that me up.

[Sean Gardini]

What do you think about the tape? What do you think about the tape they. That came out like, end where it was like the audio of like, him and epinephrine Epstein.

[Lemaire Lee]

It wasn't him and Epstein. It was Epstein. This dude Wolf.

[Sean Gardini]

So why were they trying to Trump.

[Colin]

Simply yes or no?

[Lemaire Lee]

It's hard to say. That's what I'm saying. The jury's out. I'm not. He's not my savior.

[Sean Gardini]

It's the Internet, dude. Just say something sensational. We'll capitalize.

[Colin]

Simple. Yes or no?

[Lemaire Lee]

At this point, I have to say no because you would have.

[Colin]

They would have got Matt Case, brother.

[Lemaire Lee]

Yeah, I don't know. There's all sorts of weird shit about that. He's.

[Sean Gardini]

Big time, but he's not Trump's Cabinet now. Didn't he resign out of that?

[Lemaire Lee]

What?

[Sean Gardini]

I heard that if he had stayed. I heard that if he stayed in Congress, then they would have released, like, the findings of the ethics things. But since he, like, resigned now they can't show people whatever they found.

[Lemaire Lee]

I don't know.

[Sean Gardini]

That's what I heard, bro.

[Colin]

I don't know.

[Lemaire Lee]

I just. At this point, everyone's on notice. Dennis Haser was a Republican, I think speaker of the House forever. And he was also involved in wrestling, which is weird. So is Jim Jordan. There was a pedophile there, but it doesn't matter. Dennis Hasser was a Speaker of the House forever, and he was on Epstein's Island. He was friends with Podesta. He's like the OG Pizza gate guy where, like, Hassert was a scumbag pedophile and no one said a word. So now everybody who's in that thing, they're not my heroes. I hate them. And they're all cool with pedophilia because they let that go.

[Colin]

Do you have any heroes?

[Lemaire Lee]

Not you. You're my hero, Billy.

[Billy]

Everyone's always been cool with pedophilia. It's always been cool.

[Lemaire Lee]

Not me.

[Colin]

What?

[Billy]

It's always been elite cool, bigger pedophile, bro. Yes, it has.

[Lemaire Lee]

It's the beginning of subversion. It's a subversion, bro.

[Sean Gardini]

Historically speaking, Lemaire is right. Like, if you go to, like, the Middle east dancing boys, it's. I'm not saying it's great. I'm glad we've. I'm glad we've all elevated up from that.

[Lemaire Lee]

Great men were not pedophiles. Alexander the Great was not a pedophile.

[Sean Gardini]

He definitely a boy.

[Lemaire Lee]

Relax, bro.

[Colin]

You think you actually might have named, like, a notable pedophile?

[Sean Gardini]

No, no, no, no. He's Alexander, the greatest pedophile.

[Lemaire Lee]

All smear, bro.

[Colin]

Yeah, cut that. Yeah, it's all smear. It was. It could be a smear.

[Lemaire Lee]

They hit that with every gray, man. Oh, he's A pedophile, mj. Pedophile. It's a halls of moment, dude. Alexander the Great. Mj.

[Sean Gardini]

Yeah.

[Lemaire Lee]

Guys like that.

[Sean Gardini]

Yeah. I think there was a part of.

[Colin]

Ancient has not been named pedophile ever.

[Lemaire Lee]

I just love when he holds books. Just doesn't read. Yeah.

[Colin]

I can't judge him on that.

[Lemaire Lee]

I was getting into that.

[Colin]

I can't. I don't think. Who are we to judge, dude? Chapter one. Nailed it. I know that book. I'm with LeBron James. LeBron.

[Sean Gardini]

They're the Dems. We gotta own the Repub. Dude.

[Colin]

We gotta own the Repubbs a little. Dude.

[Sean Gardini]

I don't know. I don't know what's going on with them. I know they're like, there's.

[Colin]

Yeah, they got McMahon in there. You like that, Lamar?

[Sean Gardini]

Vince McMahon is in the.

[Colin]

No. Linda.

[Lemaire Lee]

Why don't you like that, Lamar?

[Billy]

Linda stinks. And she divorced Vince, dude.

[Sean Gardini]

Vince was wild. Vince was crazy.

[Billy]

You guys are wrong, dude. Vince's demand.

[Lemaire Lee]

Vince wasn't banging wrestlers who wasn't.

[Colin]

Who would.

[Lemaire Lee]

Dudes, bro.

[Billy]

So what?

[Colin]

But he was banging the dudes banging the.

[Billy]

He wasn't banging the dudes. He was banging some divas. He banged the dudes. He had the dudes bang with him. Like he'd have his top guys banging the hot.

[Sean Gardini]

That's just a party, bro.

[Lemaire Lee]

Yeah, it's not a party, bro.

[Sean Gardini]

Here's the thing. Imagine you have all these giant wrestlers you're gonna want to see. You're gonna see how they work down China. Yeah.

[Colin]

You're gonna put it in the fucking. Yeah. Break down the walls.

[Sean Gardini]

He took his toys out of the toy box.

[Lemaire Lee]

I showed Shane the destiny chats at leaked, bro. They're so gay.

[Sean Gardini]

What happened?

[Lemaire Lee]

He's talking about having a butt plug in and thinking about sucking dudes. That's literally a quote.

[Colin]

Who?

[Sean Gardini]

Death.

[Lemaire Lee]

Jesse's talking this chick.

[Sean Gardini]

Like, he also might have just been being really fun.

[Lemaire Lee]

This is so intense.

[Sean Gardini]

Here's the thing. If he. If he was joking, that might be the funniest thing in the world, dude.

[Colin]

Yeah, he would. If he was being funny.

[Sean Gardini]

If he was joking.

[Colin]

That's hilarious.

[Lemaire Lee]

If he was being funny.

[Sean Gardini]

If you're being funny. That's the funniest thing.

[Colin]

Oof.

[Lemaire Lee]

This is intense. That just sounds too real Mad, dude. Chicks walk around with that in your ass, bro.

[Sean Gardini]

Yeah, that'd be sick to like sit down in a political debate and just be plugged up. Yeah, I disagree, actually.

[Lemaire Lee]

Tokens.

[Sean Gardini]

I'm not going to judge a man for wearing a butt plug it is intense. I bet he's not a liar.

[Colin]

You can say a lot about him. He's not telling the truth on this.

[Sean Gardini]

That's an absolute truth.

[Lemaire Lee]

He's definitely telling truth. That just.

[Sean Gardini]

It is funny to wear one and act like it's like a medic. Like an insulin detective. Like, hold on. My butt plug.

[Colin]

Yeah, you got to check the app.

[Sean Gardini]

Give me a second. I need to board the plane first. My butt plug is going crazy right now. I need to do a medical pre.

[Colin]

I need an orange juice.

[Sean Gardini]

What percent of people do you think are walking around with butt plugs in day to day? You think it's 10%? 10% is crazy.

[Colin]

10% is way too much. No way.

[Lemaire Lee]

All day walking around with. Yeah, chicks do it supposedly to prepare for anal sex later in the night.

[Colin]

Later in the night.

[Lemaire Lee]

If you wear it all day, it's intense.

[Colin]

Yeah.

[Sean Gardini]

You think you would just like.

[Lemaire Lee]

You would be crazy when you do deviant like that.

[Sean Gardini]

It'd be nice uncorking yourself and take.

[Colin]

It down your game.

[Sean Gardini]

Dude, popping the cork to dump that all day.

[Lemaire Lee]

Yeah.

[Colin]

No.

[Lemaire Lee]

You ever take a dump that almost comes out sideways and it hurts?

[Sean Gardini]

Yeah.

[Lemaire Lee]

You know what I'm talking about?

[Sean Gardini]

Not sideways.

[Lemaire Lee]

But I've had or just like a big. A big.

[Sean Gardini]

Wait, you've had. You've had like a breach.

[Lemaire Lee]

Definitely hurts.

[Colin]

Wait. In your mind, you think it's because it's.

[Lemaire Lee]

I don't know, like that's what it feels like. You know what I mean?

[Sean Gardini]

It's like a piece on Tetris. Just.

[Colin]

Yeah, you get a square.

[Sean Gardini]

Yeah, dude, I've got split. I've got real, like, split one time.

[Colin]

Yeah, for sure.

[Sean Gardini]

It hurts.

[Colin]

Split open.

[Sean Gardini]

Yeah, split open.

[Colin]

Shower before bed. You wake up, you got a dry butt. You got a dry prime for the crackling. You drop a square, you go, where the am I gonna put this?

[Sean Gardini]

You drop it next to four straight logs and go, yes, Tetris. I just got. My shit's been out today, huh?

[Lemaire Lee]

Happy the other day.

[Sean Gardini]

For real?

[Colin]

Oh, yeah.

[Lemaire Lee]

Yeah, it was intense.

[Sean Gardini]

You could have been more diligent and wore the plug. He's probably just getting ready for fat turds. Yeah, he's really getting ready for the fattest turds.

[Lemaire Lee]

He supposedly. He enjoys cock holding. Cock holding.

[Colin]

What is that?

[Lemaire Lee]

Cock holding. Cock holding. My girlfriend's dad forever just called it cock holding.

[Sean Gardini]

I thought you were a dude who.

[Lemaire Lee]

Just sits there and holds his.

[Sean Gardini]

That's what I was imagining. I was like, is that a thing? You just like, hold someone's. Follow them Around.

[Lemaire Lee]

It's just his version of.

[Sean Gardini]

I could see. I could see subbing out and just holding someone's dog for, like, excuse me, putting a little leash on it. Dude, Tom was telling me there's a new movie out about Nicole Kidman is getting domed.

[Lemaire Lee]

Oh, yeah. Spade was telling me about that last.

[Sean Gardini]

Just her getting. She's a power businesswoman, and, like, an intern comes in and, like, get on the floor and just. It's like a new 50 shades of gray type. That'd be nice to see. Take your babe and go see Nicole. Kim and Kim.

[Lemaire Lee]

And I loved her.

[Colin]

Oh, I got. I got. This is. Oh, I don't know if I should say it. All right. Society. All right. I'll say whatever. Ah, this is a tough one. This is exposing.

[Sean Gardini]

It's bad.

[Colin]

No, I just. All right, so we're watching. I'm with my parents. We're watching Notre Dame football. My dad's butt plug started by. No, it's worse. It's worse. So we're watching Notre Dame. My. I. I went back home to chill with the boy. My. My father's got to be sober watching football, and it's. It's tough to watch, man.

[Sean Gardini]

Prayer.

[Colin]

Just white knuckling the prayers. He's white knuckling NFL Sunday. Just.

[Sean Gardini]

Oh, no.

[Lemaire Lee]

Makes the celebrations hurt more.

[Colin]

No Dames playing, and guy makes a play. His name's Christian Gray. He plays for Notre Dame. My mom goes, where do I know that name? Oh, no. What do you mean? She's like, it's in a book. And I was like, is it like. I don't know what book it is. She's like, oh, I know. And that was quiet. And I was like, what. What are you talking? Fifty Shades of Gray.

[Sean Gardini]

Yeah, Disgusting. I know, exactly.

[Colin]

My other sister's there, and she's like, yeah, mom read, like, fucking five of them.

[Lemaire Lee]

They all do.

[Colin]

And I was like, like, ew. And then he. She goes, yeah. And then she gave him to Katie when she was done, and I was like, dude, that's disgusting.

[Lemaire Lee]

That's like training porn mags.

[Colin]

Exactly. That's what I said. Disgusting.

[Sean Gardini]

Most women are addicted to erotic literature.

[Colin]

Yeah. You don't want to think about your mom. Damn.

[Sean Gardini]

She has them on, like, top of the vcr, like, at your dad.

[Colin]

You can find where the bookmark was. You go, oh, that's where she finished. Then tossing it to your other sister, being like, yo, get her fired up.

[Lemaire Lee]

Are there. Are they on audible?

[Sean Gardini]

Oh, yeah. Do you ever see that guy on Instagram who. Blast. There's a guy who on Instagram who blasts 50 Shades and goes through drive throughs. It's pretty funny. See guys? And then he grabbed my ass and you see a guy like Hanny Fries.

[Colin]

Like I thought that was more of a bombshell.

[Sean Gardini]

That is hilarious. Dude.

[Colin]

It hurt.

[Sean Gardini]

Do you did you know right away.

[Colin]

Ruined the whole second half of the game.

[Sean Gardini]

Yeah.

[Colin]

Just sat there going.

[Sean Gardini]

You just held your father's hand. You're like, it's all right father. Don't worry.

[Colin]

And my father, he's in poor health. He just had to sit that. I mean that should have driven him to alcohol. A disgusting wife and daughter.

[Sean Gardini]

No, all women read that stuff. It's non stop. That's like the. There's like the one of the only books that sells. It's erotic. It's like romance novels and then they call them romance novels and then erotic.

[Lemaire Lee]

Are they the ones with like Fabio on the COVID and.

[Colin]

Yeah, but they started hitting those.

[Lemaire Lee]

Yeah, you did.

[Colin]

I. I'll.

[Sean Gardini]

I'll jerk off to some erotica that.

[Lemaire Lee]

Is not afraid to explore as feminine.

[Sean Gardini]

Then I'm not.

[Colin]

You do have a family. What was it?

[Sean Gardini]

I do have a girl brain.

[Colin]

No, you kept calling like a. There was a word for it.

[Sean Gardini]

Oh, my anima. Yeah, my anima is well developed. We all have an animal.

[Colin]

It's so funny to do and cope with it by being like, my anima is well filled.

[Sean Gardini]

You're. That just means your anima is screaming in the depths. We all have an anima.

[Lemaire Lee]

What is an anima?

[Sean Gardini]

It's the feminine in the masculine psyche. And women all have an animus. And if you're animus possessed, my God, watch out. But yeah, my anima is totally liberated. And it's also.

[Colin]

Dude, I'm telling you, there's a good. There's a bro I like right now. His anima is fully liberated. Jerry McCain for the Sixers he's got doing the tick tock dances.

[Sean Gardini]

Oh yeah.

[Colin]

His animals out. He does not care. He's feminine. Dude. He's hitting. He's dropping 30 and doing tick tocks and everyone's mad dude painting his nails. And because I'm three days into college and I'm two lakh shows behind. I love this dude.

[Sean Gardini]

So nice.

[Colin]

DM him. He doesn't answer. I get drunk and DM him. You're the man. Oh, he's been killing it. They these have a chance and he's dominating.

[Sean Gardini]

That's awesome.

[Eddie]

He's going to be rookie of the year.

[Colin]

He's awesome.

[Sean Gardini]

You think so?

[Eddie]

I'M Unless he gets hurt or something. He keeps playing like he's playing. He's going to be rookie of the year.

[Colin]

So you make it. We can settle the Kendrick Drake, obviously. Drake. Now we can settle Joel Joker. It's been settled. It's.

[Eddie]

I got, I got no argument. Especially in their prom, in their prime, I think Joe was a more skilled basketball player, but he might be. He might be. He's not washed.

[Sean Gardini]

I know.

[Colin]

I was watching. Yeah, because he got called out. Then everyone was making fun of him, so he tried.

[Eddie]

He's not wash his knees.

[Sean Gardini]

He's got a bum knee.

[Colin]

I hope I. I pray for him. I hope he's.

[Sean Gardini]

Bum knees. Suck my. My knee's kind of bum right now. It's pissing me off.

[Colin]

Oh, really?

[Sean Gardini]

Pissing me off.

[Lemaire Lee]

How you skating with a bum knee, dude?

[Sean Gardini]

Huh?

[Lemaire Lee]

How you skating with a bum?

[Colin]

Oh, is that how you bummed your knee out?

[Sean Gardini]

No, no, no, my knee. I actually. Sorry. We can talk about Joe. I don't make it all about myself.

[Colin]

I just, I've been skating.

[Sean Gardini]

I was just sleeping wrong. I had like a. This pillow between my knees, and I think that was really. What was it? Up or lifting? I, I like, took two weeks off, probably.

[Colin]

Lifting?

[Sean Gardini]

I think so.

[Colin]

Yeah.

[Lemaire Lee]

I don't think it's a pillow.

[Sean Gardini]

But as soon as I switched that pillow out, it started to feel better.

[Lemaire Lee]

How do people receive you at the skate park?

[Sean Gardini]

Huh?

[Lemaire Lee]

How do people receive you at the skate?

[Sean Gardini]

Pretty good.

[Lemaire Lee]

I.

[Sean Gardini]

At first I was a little tight, and I was like, not, dude, just going down those little ramps is hard as. And then once I loosened up, so I talked to a couple of.

[Colin]

Bro, you can be Jay Leno, dude. Fall on your side and be totally bruised, dude.

[Sean Gardini]

I, I. Luckily I was all right. I wasn't going that big. I was just trying to, like, get my, my feet under me, dude. I didn't, like, think I'd be that bad. I was terrible at first.

[Lemaire Lee]

It's so hard, dude.

[Sean Gardini]

It's so hard. But then I got, I got it down. Now I'm way more comfortable. How the 180?

[Colin]

Yeah, the videos were nice that you sent me. I was happy about that.

[Sean Gardini]

That. Oh, the pump track. The pump, dude. I. For real, I skate.

[Lemaire Lee]

Going today, huh? You going today?

[Sean Gardini]

I'm gonna try. I like to. Oh, but dude, skating's sick, man. I did it for. I did it for two hours. One afternoon, I did. I think I burnt like 850 calories.

[Colin]

It's crazy. That's gotta be intense, though. Getting there if people are there.

[Sean Gardini]

Yeah, I was scared. And then.

[Colin]

Yeah, you falling into wind. Knocked out of you in front of, like, a family. No, by yourself, dude.

[Sean Gardini]

The skaters are very supportive.

[Lemaire Lee]

Dude. Dude.

[Colin]

Pick you up.

[Sean Gardini]

They'll pick you up. The bigger. All right. And when I. When I finally landed the 180, there's a guy who's like, sick because I tried for an hour and a half to land the one.

[Lemaire Lee]

That's what it's all about. I don't know if you saw the pop Central.

[Colin]

What?

[Lemaire Lee]

Fdr.

[Sean Gardini]

Yeah. That's like, years old.

[Lemaire Lee]

Checked me. I was. Dude, what the It.

[Colin]

What about the Tampa am?

[Lemaire Lee]

I don't know about Tampa Am. That's be.

[Colin]

You don't know Tampa Am? No, idiot.

[Sean Gardini]

Dude.

[Lemaire Lee]

Beezerville.

[Sean Gardini]

There is a. It's funny, though, because there are, like, Beezer, Rotor Scooter.

[Lemaire Lee]

At the Tampa Am.

[Sean Gardini]

Yeah, dude, I already bladed something crazy at the Tampa M Beer.

[Colin]

Landed a reverse. I forget what he said.

[Sean Gardini]

Rodeo flip.

[Colin]

I forget what it was. It was awesome.

[Lemaire Lee]

You ever had a rip stick?

[Colin]

Oh, Connor hit him with the Kamala. Could land a reverse Whatever on you. At the Tampa am. And he was like, I'd kill that. He was hammered. Talking about.

[Sean Gardini]

It was funny to do an activity where there was like a child there too. It was like, me. There's a guy's my age and there's like, slightly younger. There was just one kid there who's like, maybe 11.

[Colin]

My balls was hot, dude.

[Sean Gardini]

This 11 year old kept doing this thing where he would go up the ramp and then he would just not even worry about skateboarding. He would try to launch himself as high as he could.

[Lemaire Lee]

I used to do that when I.

[Sean Gardini]

Was little, dude, it was the funniest thing.

[Lemaire Lee]

Do you start tapping your skateboard on the rail?

[Sean Gardini]

I didn't tap. I almost tapped One time a guy did like a pretty nasty hard flip. And I was like, let me just chill. I'm not gonna tap.

[Colin]

I can't talk skate. I don't know anything about it.

[Lemaire Lee]

Really.

[Colin]

All I want to think about is Jared McCain's tick tock. It's the only thing that's going on in my brain right now. I can't figure it out.

[Sean Gardini]

I fully support him, though. It is nice. It's your animal. Recognizing his liberated anima. And you're going, I loved it when.

[Colin]

He was a duke. I was going. I wanted to hate it.

[Sean Gardini]

Really.

[Colin]

The first Tick Tock I saw, I was like, what the fuck? I watched the whole thing. I was like, what else does he have in Here.

[Sean Gardini]

He just watched all.

[Colin]

Just hit the orangutan on there. Just.

[Lemaire Lee]

I love that gif.

[Colin]

Come to me.

[Lemaire Lee]

Yeah, De been getting it in and. Huh, Pause.

[Colin]

What'd he say?

[Lemaire Lee]

Me and de be getting it in at night.

[Colin]

The Duty together.

[Sean Gardini]

Oh, you guys been playing Duty, Frank?

[Colin]

Yes.

[Sean Gardini]

Got some Duty Bandits.

[Lemaire Lee]

Yes.

[Colin]

Some late night Duty Bandits.

[Sean Gardini]

Our girlfriends.

[Colin]

Our girlfriends are asleep. Sean, are you awake?

[Lemaire Lee]

No, I don't do that.

[Colin]

Sean, are you awake?

[Lemaire Lee]

I do the exact opposite, brother. Scream. Yeah, I hit people in the lobby. Scream right now, bro. They. And if they can't scream, they're. Well, scream all I want.

[Billy]

They scream.

[Lemaire Lee]

I can't, dude. My kids are sleeping. It's a scream. Do you run this household? Scream.

[Colin]

You scream the entire time.

[Lemaire Lee]

I. Around the whole house.

[Colin]

But, you know, I've. I've played duty with him. He screams higher every single time. He gets. He gets killed 50 times.

[Lemaire Lee]

That's my rule.

[Colin]

Sprints at everyone with an RPG and he gets killed. He goes. It's one second later.

[Lemaire Lee]

That's all. That's my rule. I try to get in the lobby. I say, anyone on our team, if you get killed, you have to scream like it's real life.

[Sean Gardini]

It is.

[Colin]

That's fun though, when that happens.

[Lemaire Lee]

Yeah.

[Sean Gardini]

What time do you play? Until. When do you. When you call it.

[Lemaire Lee]

Oh, he had a few sessions. Hour until like 12.

[Sean Gardini]

Oh, that's not bad. Pretty.

[Colin]

He was telling me his. His session, he's like, if I put in a good session, it's three hours. Yeah, it's a good session. It's child's play. On duty, it's a whole different story. Child's play. That's. I didn't warm. I didn't even game today. Three hours. I didn't even game.

[Lemaire Lee]

It's intense on duty, though.

[Colin]

I had a day off of work. I hit the Banner Lord. I charged it back up.

[Sean Gardini]

Did you really?

[Colin]

12 hours.

[Sean Gardini]

How was your realm?

[Colin]

Blew a vessel in my eye staring at the screen.

[Sean Gardini]

You didn't blink.

[Colin]

I didn't blink for a damn.

[Sean Gardini]

You did a 12 hour session on the Banner Lord.

[Colin]

Banner Lord?

[Billy]

Crazy.

[Colin]

Yeah, it was. It was really up.

[Lemaire Lee]

You play against the computer like a.

[Colin]

It was. It was really weird what I did. I'm 20 because it was three days into college and I'm two lectures behind this guy. King Billy says he wants to be mine.

[Sean Gardini]

How's the kingdom?

[Colin]

Kingdom's good right now.

[Sean Gardini]

Does it freeze when you. There's any like, commerce?

[Colin]

No, it freezes.

[Sean Gardini]

Okay.

[Lemaire Lee]

Thank God.

[Colin]

I could leave it running for a Weekend just let my. Let my caravans do the. Do their bidding. But what if. What if we got invaded while I was coming true?

[Lemaire Lee]

Is it online?

[Colin]

No, just the cop. It's just me sitting in a room playing against the machine.

[Lemaire Lee]

We had college and there was a kid. We had live and there was a kid who would just play against the computer and flip and be like, this is how you get better lives cheap. That's funny.

[Colin]

You hit the spaz last night in Madden.

[Lemaire Lee]

I love it.

[Colin]

You tried to take advantage of me last night in Madden.

[Lemaire Lee]

I rage, quit constantly.

[Colin]

He. Yeah, he TR take advantage of me.

[Lemaire Lee]

I just Exit game.

[Colin]

I was just.

[Lemaire Lee]

So you got another pick. I was exit game. Done. I'm done playing.

[Colin]

Exit as fast as he could is. Yeah, it's pretty funny.

[Sean Gardini]

People do try to take advantage of you when you're an inebria.

[Colin]

Soda took advantage of me.

[Sean Gardini]

Did he really?

[Colin]

Yeah, he beat. He finally beat me in NCAA when I get. He's a sober man, too. Yeah, he's a sober.

[Sean Gardini]

He was sharking on you.

[Colin]

He got me at the end of the night and I was nasty about it.

[Lemaire Lee]

Shane immediately starts saying all sorts of mean when you start beating, like, what? You're the cheapest guy in the game. You're so gay. You run the same play every time.

[Colin]

I mean, that's how you get people to get off the game.

[Lemaire Lee]

I do the same. It works five and out.

[Sean Gardini]

It is funny, though, having like, someone sober praying, like, praying on you like you pray on a woman. Just be like, well, come on, let's.

[Colin]

Go back to do one more shot. Yeah, come on, man.

[Sean Gardini]

Come on, let's play inside. We're not gonna play any. Yeah, I just want to hang out. They're not playing games.

[Colin]

I'll be missing. I'll be. Michigan. I know you hate Michigan. Yeah, I hate Michigan. I'll play against Michigan. I was down like 30 to soda and I was like, do you feel good about this? And he was like, no, dude, I don't. This sucks. Let's go to bed. I was like, yeah, exactly. You quit. Yeah, it was so. I know I've definitely said it before, but it was making me cry the other day. Like, I literally was crying laughing about it with. Because I was telling Jay about it. Because when me and Soda played each other, he was up like 20 and he was finally going to win.

[Sean Gardini]

Was this on the stream, you're saying?

[Colin]

No, this was after.

[Sean Gardini]

Okay.

[Colin]

And we're sitting there and DeRosa comes in and sits next to Soda and is like, shane's right. Your guys are blocking way better than his. And he was like, shut the up, Derosa. And I came back and he missed an extra point and lost. And when he, when he finished, he put his controller down. Durazzo, sit next to him. He goes, it was the craziest spaz I've ever seen.

[Lemaire Lee]

Was he serious?

[Colin]

He was totally serious.

[Lemaire Lee]

Damn.

[Colin]

The soda goes, what the was that? Oh my God, it was so good. D was like, jeez, man, D's ass. He's like, you wouldn't do that to other people. Like five hours later, you're still going, oh my God, it was awesome.

[Sean Gardini]

Oh, that's such a good expression of a video game.

[Colin]

Specially from soda. He does. He hits the hardest video game spazzes of anyone.

[Sean Gardini]

So funny, dude.

[Colin]

A bunch of table. Oh my God, so good. Oh yeah.

[Sean Gardini]

I can get him, dude. I get if I lose.

[Colin]

Yeah, but you hit the funniest bad. You literally run away.

[Sean Gardini]

I gotta hide my face. Everything.

[Lemaire Lee]

I made a little black and losing video game. He starts crying.

[Sean Gardini]

It sucks when you lose so bad.

[Colin]

We used to think about losing the computer in Bannerlord. After you've been playing for 12 hours and you lose everything, you go, what the did I do today? I mean, remember I played FIFA. I'd play FIFA for a week straight without getting up and I'd get fired. Get an email in the video game. Be like, you're done, dude, you gotta go outside.

[Sean Gardini]

That'd be funny. You like text, but in the game, but about real life. Like, dude, it's your mom. What the are you doing? The is this. This is bullshit. Dude, Shut the fuck up.

[Colin]

How come you're not married? The I'm running Norwich to Prem.

[Lemaire Lee]

We used to have an N64 in our unfinished basement. That was scary.

[Colin]

Everyone had an N64 and unfinished.

[Lemaire Lee]

It was everyone Super Nintendo or anything. But they would all play it may whatever Mortal Kombat was on. Maybe a Genesis as well. And I would never be able to play. And then when everyone was away, I would sneak down.

[Colin]

That's nice.

[Lemaire Lee]

Someone would catch me, turn the lights off and like.

[Sean Gardini]

That basement was terrifying, dude. Yeah, it was a cement dungeon. There were spiders and the little like water gaps. There was these big wolf spiders.

[Colin]

That sucks. I. Yeah, I wouldn't be called lights out while gaming.

[Lemaire Lee]

Fed got PS1 though. On a mad one. Like one day I rolled up in their room and he just had PS1 on TV. I was like, what the fuck? Cool Borders. The best game of all time.

[Colin]

Yeah, pretty good.

[Sean Gardini]

Easily. I forgot yeah. Cool. Borders. One and two was. I think two might have been better than one. Three was bullshit.

[Lemaire Lee]

Yeah, yeah, whatever. One you go.

[Colin]

You could be.

[Lemaire Lee]

The alien was sick.

[Colin]

Echo the dolphin on Sega.

[Sean Gardini]

You with Echo?

[Colin]

Yeah. I never got out of the first level. Sat there for a day. Just vibed out being a dolphin swimmer.

[Sean Gardini]

That's so sick, dude.

[Colin]

Jellyfish with my nose. I really don't understand this game.

[Lemaire Lee]

Have you ever played the Bully?

[Colin]

Yeah.

[Lemaire Lee]

That was a great game.

[Colin]

That game was awesome.

[Sean Gardini]

What was it?

[Lemaire Lee]

The bully.

[Sean Gardini]

What'd you do?

[Lemaire Lee]

The rock star.

[Colin]

It was like. It was Grand Theft auto. Except you were just to bad kid at a school. Yeah, that's great. It's a good game.

[Sean Gardini]

Sounds awesome.

[Colin]

It was.

[Lemaire Lee]

I just got Fusion Frenzy played cool.

[Colin]

Music when you wrote road bikes. Do you remember that?

[Lemaire Lee]

Yeah. The game was amazing.

[Colin]

Yeah.

[Lemaire Lee]

You just go your frenzy sick. I've tried to play it with bae.

[Colin]

She hated it. We can hit it. I love it. We can hit Fusion Frenzy.

[Lemaire Lee]

This game sucks. I think it rules when you go in the washer. I love that.

[Sean Gardini]

Yeah, it's easily one of the best games. Actually.

[Lemaire Lee]

Xbox controllers were nuts. Original Xbox controllers were mad.

[Colin]

It's a huge.

[Lemaire Lee]

Yeah, they're just big chunguses. You gotta like hold it like this.

[Sean Gardini]

Yeah, yeah. I was. I just.

[Colin]

That reminds me. I got somebody made fun of me for that controller. Why says my name on it. Somebody. Be proud of yourself. I'm not. That is psychotic.

[Lemaire Lee]

How's it psychotic?

[Sean Gardini]

Picture yourself.

[Colin]

It was a gift. I'm not. Yeah. What am I gonna do?

[Lemaire Lee]

What are you gonna rip it off?

[Colin]

Yeah.

[Sean Gardini]

That would be psychotic. To scratch your face off a controller.

[Colin]

After I lose a game.

[Sean Gardini]

Just.

[Colin]

I don't even deserve this.

[Lemaire Lee]

That's like Red Dragon.

[Colin]

We need to get you. We need to get UFC going.

[Lemaire Lee]

You.

[Sean Gardini]

It's true.

[Colin]

Been so long. Have you guys been playing at all? I haven't played at all.

[Sean Gardini]

I haven't played.

[Colin]

Oh, guard dog. I have. You have?

[Sean Gardini]

Guard dog speaks Heavy partying one lone. Guard dog's been training you guys?

[Colin]

Yeah. You guys have been out around and Guard dogs tell us.

[Billy]

He was training. Just trying to get good.

[Colin]

Wait, which one you guys. One of you getting good on the ground in that Nate little ass.

[Eddie]

Why my ass? That's because I think that's how I got you.

[Sean Gardini]

You never got.

[Colin]

You definitely never got me.

[Lemaire Lee]

Let's get fight my dude. Ground and pound.

[Colin]

There's a new boxing game that's apparently pretty good. It's all. It's. Is it good?

[Eddie]

It's okay.

[Colin]

Yeah. UFC is the best.

[Sean Gardini]

I can't wait to Logan Paul or Jake Paul comes out with his boxing game. Elderly.

[Colin]

Just him knocking out Asians on a subway. Sweet, dude. You showed them.

[Sean Gardini]

We solved the crime. We know who was doing it all that time. That was his Rocky.

[Lemaire Lee]

I think Tyson daddy chilled, though. First round, I was like, jake Paul's gonna get knocked the out. And then Tyson just put the brakes on, started moving crazy.

[Sean Gardini]

I don't think he was so shaky. That was the thing, like, at first he was throwing those punches, and there was a thing in the clinch where people, like, he saw Tyson tap his head and people thought, like, that was Paul being like, yo, chill, or you're not going to get the bag. But he was also. He was, like, shaky.

[Colin]

Would they be able to withhold the bag if he won? There's no way. There was stipulations that if he won, he would be paid less money than.

[Sean Gardini]

There's.

[Colin]

There's no way they made that public.

[Sean Gardini]

Check that. That might be blue ski information.

[Colin]

That might be blue ski Russian disinformation.

[Sean Gardini]

I've or. Or just asked to Twitter.

[Billy]

Paul kind of beat the out of Mike Tyson, and nobody's willing to admit he could.

[Sean Gardini]

I mean, he could have taken his head off. He could have taken his head off of him.

[Billy]

Would have killed him if, like, they were fighting. Fighting. Jake Paul had 70 punches landed. 70. Mike Tyson only landed six.

[Sean Gardini]

Yeah, it was on first apart.

[Lemaire Lee]

Dude, like, I would beat the out of my dad right now.

[Sean Gardini]

Huh?

[Lemaire Lee]

I would beat the out of my dad in a boxing match right now. Obviously, the fact that he didn't get knocked out in the first round is crazy.

[Sean Gardini]

Yeah, dude, it was towards the end. That was the one thing. It was honorable that he didn't just take Tyson's head off. He was going to become an ultimate goblin if he did, because he could have knocked him out. I think at least he could.

[Lemaire Lee]

I just crazy. The Paul, the code switching the Paul's dude confused.

[Sean Gardini]

What do you do?

[Lemaire Lee]

Mike Tyson was in the ring afterwards, like, oh, you're next, Logan Paul. Logan Paul's like, I kill you.

[Colin]

It was bizarre.

[Lemaire Lee]

Yeah, it's like, dude, you're from Ohio.

[Colin]

Why are you talking?

[Sean Gardini]

Yeah, but I feel like you're a YouTuber for that long. I think you're allowed to.

[Lemaire Lee]

What?

[Sean Gardini]

After, like, 10 years of being, like, a YouTuber, you can just say you.

[Lemaire Lee]

Can talk however you want. Yeah, it's those dudes.

[Colin]

Like Puerto Ricans in New York.

[Sean Gardini]

Exactly.

[Lemaire Lee]

There you go.

[Colin]

Filipinos in la. Okay.

[Sean Gardini]

It grabs the Algorithm grabs the algorithm.

[Lemaire Lee]

Maybe. Yeah. It might just be the best.

[Sean Gardini]

It is funny.

[Colin]

You up, dude.

[Lemaire Lee]

Dude, I have a gun. You can fight all he wants. Shut up. Oh, you're black belt. Jiu Jitsu dead.

[Sean Gardini]

Pull that thing up.

[Lemaire Lee]

Oh, you're a karate master.

[Sean Gardini]

You're gonna kill someone. Cold blood.

[Lemaire Lee]

There's no reason you can sit there all day long and fight all you want. You're just gonna get neck kinks, and it sucks. You want to wrestle? You're gonna be hurt all day.

[Sean Gardini]

Here's the thing. Say you're at a bar. Bar. People start acting up, and you get to everyone in front of your baby. Stop, dude.

[Lemaire Lee]

Dude.

[Colin]

I will say killing someone. Jiu Jitsu at a bar seems kind of lame.

[Sean Gardini]

That's the whole point of it.

[Colin]

Like, on the ground, rolling with a guy.

[Sean Gardini]

Yeah, he's choking me.

[Colin]

Go.

[Sean Gardini]

Just tap, dude. Just tap it. I don't want to do. I don't want to do this. I've been looking forward to this secretly my whole life. I don't want to do this.

[Colin]

Get somebody in a triangle. Yeah. On the ground. And then his friend comes up and just get. Is right on your face while you're.

[Lemaire Lee]

Like, dude kicks you in the head.

[Sean Gardini]

But then your Jits bros are going to be there to be like.

[Colin]

But then your Jits bros will.

[Lemaire Lee]

You're lucky I don't have my g.

[Colin]

The Jits bros at the Mothership would go nuts.

[Lemaire Lee]

They would.

[Colin]

Every single security guy in there is like, a. Yeah, dude, mutant.

[Lemaire Lee]

Yeah. I was, why you need a gun?

[Colin]

If a homeless guy, dangerous, one of the homeless from 6th street comes in there, he's getting every limb broken.

[Lemaire Lee]

William Wallace and Braveheart.

[Sean Gardini]

There was for real, a giant one in the little boy room. There was this giant man who was being a problem. And I watched three of the bouncers just like, this guy was huge, dude. It was like. I was like, I would be terrified to fight this guy. And there's like two or three of them looked at each other like, it's go time. And I was like, damn, these dudes. I would have been like, I'm not touching this guy. He was massive of. They got him up and, like, walked him out the room. And I was like, yeah, they were ready, dude. They were like. They were like, gearing up. And I was like, dude, this is kind of scary. You guys are the real deal.

[Colin]

He was huge, dude. Dude.

[Sean Gardini]

What?

[Colin]

The mothership guys? Yeah, they're all like, tenth planet or whatever. They're all like, the best in the world.

[Sean Gardini]

Yeah, man. They, you could tell they were kind of like looked at each other like we might. If we have to fight this guy, it's gonna.

[Colin]

Those make you feel kind of gay as a comedian.

[Lemaire Lee]

What?

[Colin]

Like. Yeah, like they're like troops. You walk up to me like, hey, man.

[Sean Gardini]

Yeah, you feel like a girl?

[Colin]

I mean, I have a big day. I have to do comedy.

[Sean Gardini]

I got this new joke dude when.

[Lemaire Lee]

I was there last time, the dude said, what's up to me? I don't know. The security guards listen to the.

[Colin]

Oh, they're definitely tapped up, brother.

[Lemaire Lee]

Yeah, real man. They're good bros. That's why I'm friends with the jiu jitsu guys. But if they ever rise up, you ever shoot them? Stop.

[Colin]

You James Bond them?

[Sean Gardini]

Get off my leg. Shoot them right in the back.

[Lemaire Lee]

Off my leg.

[Sean Gardini]

You think they let you practice in the studio? Like pulling out on them just while they're wrestling?

[Colin]

Yeah, obviously.

[Sean Gardini]

Pause. Obviously pause.

[Colin]

But no, they, they train for dudes with guns.

[Lemaire Lee]

Do they?

[Colin]

They have those, you know, those things you punch, like the. What are those things?

[Sean Gardini]

Oh, the, the, yeah, the jack guys.

[Colin]

Yeah, they have those holding guns.

[Lemaire Lee]

Just hit him with one of these. Coming.

[Colin]

Yeah. I'm never gonna tap. You're gonna arm bar me?

[Sean Gardini]

Shoot myself in the ass. Now you have to clean me up, idiot. Let me take my butt.

[Lemaire Lee]

There's dudes who do that.

[Colin]

What?

[Lemaire Lee]

There's a gun store near my parents house where like dudes will roll in, buy a gun. But thanks. Where's your bathroom at? Go to the bathroom.

[Sean Gardini]

Shoot it in the bathroom. They've done it. Yeah, you're talking about the master.

[Lemaire Lee]

And then they have to clean it up.

[Colin]

Yeah, people don't talk about that enough.

[Lemaire Lee]

They just go in, buy a gun, go into the bathroom. Done.

[Sean Gardini]

You know I peed myself for that. That gun range bathroom. That's a little boy, my Paul, talking shit recently.

[Lemaire Lee]

I pissed the bed recently.

[Sean Gardini]

If you're talking about the same gun place recently, stone cold sober.

[Lemaire Lee]

I just had a dream. I was peeing.

[Sean Gardini]

I was like, bro, I've been, I've been like peeing in dreams and not peeing the bed.

[Colin]

Nice.

[Sean Gardini]

It comes for you, huh?

[Lemaire Lee]

At one point, it comes for you.

[Sean Gardini]

I look, don't get me wrong, I've done it.

[Lemaire Lee]

And then I got caught too. You got busted because I ran out, took off my boxes and came back in, put a town to bed and went to sleep. She's like like, what the did you just do? I was like, nothing.

[Colin]

Did you pee? It's like, yes, I Peed my pants.

[Sean Gardini]

I only peed. I peed a little bit. It was a tiny little bit.

[Colin]

Yeah, there's nothing wrong with pissing your pants. Piss a little bit, man. I know you've pissed your pants recently.

[Billy]

No, but I. I got drenched. I was sick and I got. I drenched a bed in sweat.

[Colin]

Sweat. Yeah.

[Sean Gardini]

I love that, dude. Waking up with a fever and just being like, just soaking wet. I love that.

[Colin]

I actually, I actually kind of agree that it's nice. Especially take a nap while you're sick. Wake up, you just ruined the couch.

[Lemaire Lee]

Yep.

[Sean Gardini]

Awesome. Then you get like really. You're hot, you're chilly and you wake up and you're wet, you're really chilly and you take off your wet clothes. Yep.

[Colin]

Break this.

[Lemaire Lee]

I love a good rib. If you have like a day long rea fest where you're just. Everything's coming out, I feel like it's good for me.

[Sean Gardini]

It's awesome.

[Colin]

I do too. But then you get stuck with like a three day refest.

[Lemaire Lee]

What?

[Colin]

Three day?

[Lemaire Lee]

Yeah, that's where the bidet comes in huge. If you have paper towels on your. And you have a refest, it's over.

[Sean Gardini]

Yo, baby wipes.

[Lemaire Lee]

No baby wipes.

[Sean Gardini]

I'm telling you, dude. You clog the toilet, throw them in the trash can.

[Lemaire Lee]

That's foul. You shitted up baby wipes in the.

[Sean Gardini]

Wrap them up, then you throw something on top of them. So no, it's easier. Your shitty little secret.

[Colin]

Get a bidet.

[Sean Gardini]

Huh?

[Lemaire Lee]

Get a bidet.

[Sean Gardini]

And also I. Dude. Yeah, but my kids will turn them on and shoot it everywhere. Everywhere.

[Lemaire Lee]

Put a child lock on it.

[Sean Gardini]

Then I'm not gonna be able to wipe my goddamn ass with the thing.

[Lemaire Lee]

You know, you probably get one that's on an app.

[Sean Gardini]

Dude, then I got. Well, I already have my. I'm not gonna pretend I don't have my phone out while I'm. But I don't have to look at my phone, dude. I don't want screen time. I have so many things in my house that require me to look at my phone. It's kind of annoying. So I gotta.

[Colin]

Yeah, I feel like none of them ever work.

[Sean Gardini]

They all suck every time. Yeah, there's a app with every product now. They're like, you ought to log into this.

[Lemaire Lee]

It's like, dude, I do with an ear cleaner. It's so awesome. Awesome.

[Sean Gardini]

What's up here?

[Lemaire Lee]

The ear cleaner with the camera.

[Sean Gardini]

What?

[Lemaire Lee]

Oh, dude, it's the best. It's definitely just selling all your, all your data. Some Chinese company, but you turn it on, it connects to your phone, it has a camera, and you go in there and just scrape out earwax. Dude, I took one out where it was literally just like, yo, a whole thing in my ear like that. Got there, got in there, ripped it off.

[Sean Gardini]

The Chinese government's got your wax or going. Absolutely.

[Lemaire Lee]

There was just some huge data breach with China.

[Sean Gardini]

You think they caught you? They got you on wax. They're like, sir, what do you think about that? He goes, wax on.

[Colin]

Yes.

[Lemaire Lee]

Yeah, we got hacked.

[Billy]

We got hacked. We got hacked by China.

[Sean Gardini]

They hacked our telecoms poker corporation.

[Lemaire Lee]

Trump.

[Billy]

Dude, they hacked our. They hacked it probably a couple years ago, and they've been remaining dormant and they've been collecting information on, like, 100.

[Lemaire Lee]

What, like four years ago, probably before that, too.

[Billy]

They hacked our old infrastructure because we have all these back doors so we can spy on people. All right, that's it.

[Colin]

Yeah, that happened.

[Lemaire Lee]

I think Joe Biden's son Hunter was over there, and he got a diamond from a very rich Chinese man. Little quid pro Joe is over there doing some bad deals, big guy.

[Sean Gardini]

Really? 10%.

[Lemaire Lee]

Oh, dude, O'Connor fucking tried to hit me with.

[Colin]

He's like, why isn't O'Connor owns us, dude, why.

[Lemaire Lee]

Why isn't fucking Biden going to jail? It's like they only referred him as a big guy. He's like, since they say the big guy can't go, Joe's like, yeah, they're not naming the guy. They're just saying the big guy.

[Colin]

Yeah, that was a good argument. He was. He had us at Bonnie.

[Lemaire Lee]

Annoying. Yeah.

[Colin]

He was like, well, he would go to jail if he was guilty. Yeah, that's it. Trump's getting arrested.

[Sean Gardini]

Yeah.

[Colin]

Because he's guilty. Biden's not.

[Lemaire Lee]

Because he's 34. Do you like Harry Sisson, Dean Withers and those boys?

[Sean Gardini]

Who?

[Lemaire Lee]

Harry Sisson, Dean Withers and those boys.

[Billy]

Those fellas. I'm sorry.

[Sean Gardini]

Democratic kids that, like, make content.

[Lemaire Lee]

This will.

[Billy]

Oh, I don't like Young Dems. Young Dems are so gay.

[Colin]

There you go. You're true. You're true. Blue ski.

[Sean Gardini]

Blue.

[Lemaire Lee]

No matter.

[Colin]

Put that on. Blue Ski. Fired up.

[Lemaire Lee]

Where is this video? This video infuriates me. I feel like they're just trolling me. You can keep talking.

[Sean Gardini]

No, I want to see what you're talking about.

[Lemaire Lee]

I'm trying to find it.

[Sean Gardini]

Can't believe sh. Has your ears waxed.

[Lemaire Lee]

Dude, it's the best. You like clean your ears? Yeah, it's very nice.

[Colin]

I do it Too much.

[Lemaire Lee]

You can see it.

[Sean Gardini]

I just got his dug in last night. It was pretty nice. Especially when I'm like, I can go.

[Colin]

You forget about it for a while and then you get in there you go. Holy Nike.

[Sean Gardini]

Yeah.

[Lemaire Lee]

When you just get an orange Q tip coming out, you're like, yo, yeah.

[Colin]

You gotta hide that.

[Sean Gardini]

Yeah, sure.

[Colin]

The lady sees that. It's really, really gross.

[Sean Gardini]

Yeah, I. Yeah, that's the worst one. I like, wipe my ass in the shower with the wet towel. And every now and again then Brittany will peer over the ledge and be like, oh, my God. I'm like, dude, how about you give me some.

[Colin]

You have on your ass in the shower like that?

[Sean Gardini]

Sometimes my ass is kind of up. Yeah. If I'm like, I like wiped. And I'm like, I'm gonna have the showers on that one.

[Colin]

The oil slick.

[Sean Gardini]

Yeah, dude. Oh, yeah. It's like rainbow. It's like rainbowing all the things.

[Colin]

Here's the mid duck covered in it.

[Sean Gardini]

Bring me the dawn.

[Unknown]

Chronic disease United States is increasing. Is not because of chemicals in the food.

[Eddie]

Okay?

[Unknown]

Donald Trump takes power and we're all real stealing from the fact that this psychopath is going to be in office. Some of the most misinformation that we're gonna have to fight against together is health related. RFK Jr. Is an environmental lawyer, not a doctor. Listen to the doctors. You know why chronic disease United States is rising is because of obesity. Well, Chris, why is obesity going up if the government is doing their job?

[Sean Gardini]

Capitalism.

[Unknown]

Everybody has more money than in the most complex, well put together society ever on the face of the planet. Look at where I'm sitting. I'm sitting in a vehicle where small explosions in the back will propel me forward to the nearest McDonald's where I can get a meal that's very cold.

[Sean Gardini]

So you're saying we're too damn rich. That's why we have that we have obesity.

[Unknown]

And I can do it cheaply and in like a dumb argument education, I don't know, eat a diet that can.

[Sean Gardini]

Turn his clown off. Turn his clown off. It's the dumbest argument I've ever heard in my life.

[Lemaire Lee]

No, it's not. Yeah. Also explosions and cars happen in the engine, not in the muffler. You.

[Colin]

Could have been a Lamborghini.

[Lemaire Lee]

Lamborghini, true. I didn't know. Yeah, that was crazy. That kid pissed me the off.

[Sean Gardini]

That's crazy because not chemicals. It's because we have so much money.

[Lemaire Lee]

But I did comment on and say thank you so much for saying that's finally some sense, dude.

[Sean Gardini]

You know who? I've been getting fired up on Instagram that whenever there's, like, this lady comes up on my feed, and she is a, I believe, a mask, a traditional mask lesbian.

[Lemaire Lee]

Oh.

[Sean Gardini]

And she comes on the feed and puts on different fits, and everyone's like, beautiful.

[Colin]

You look. And it's good.

[Sean Gardini]

I only ever give her big ups. I'm always like, fire. Fire outfit. It's kind of nice. I just gas her up.

[Lemaire Lee]

And you're just trying to get finned down by someone?

[Sean Gardini]

No, no, no. I just. Everyone's bro, I've been seeing. It's like a cringe compilation thing all day, dude. What's that?

[Lemaire Lee]

My algorithm's. What is a lot of guitars. That's pretty clean right now.

[Colin]

You've gotten into the guitars?

[Lemaire Lee]

Not gonna lie.

[Colin]

Powers Guitars, Wet Dog.

[Lemaire Lee]

Pretty clean.

[Sean Gardini]

I just feel bad. You go on the cringe videos. Yeah, I love that.

[Colin]

See what she's up to.

[Lemaire Lee]

Love it. Like, public Riz videos and they kill me.

[Sean Gardini]

Public raids are nice. Oh, excuse you.

[Colin]

Those Indian videos are nice.

[Lemaire Lee]

What?

[Colin]

The Indian Riz videos? Like one girl game shows. Yeah, that's nice.

[Sean Gardini]

I like the Indian street food gross out compilations.

[Colin]

Yeah, just grab with.

[Sean Gardini]

So funny, huh?

[Lemaire Lee]

They're foul. Yeah, it's dirty country.

[Sean Gardini]

It's pretty bad stuff.

[Lemaire Lee]

Please, like, and subscribe to my video.

[Colin]

What else is going on, guys?

[Sean Gardini]

Pretty much that, man. Dude, I've been doing school visits, like, looking at different schools now. Hey, the one. Dude, I went to one.

[Colin]

I'm just thinking about McKay.

[Sean Gardini]

Dude, I went to this one school and it was like, you know, it's like, kind of like. It's like an alternative. They have like, a different whole different, like, approach of stuff. And they had like. They're like these trees. They're. These are climbing trees with the kids climbing the climbing trees. It's good for their core. Dude, there's this guy, four people or like six people on tour. This one dad would go, yes. Oh, yes.

[Lemaire Lee]

Oh, so important.

[Colin]

Important.

[Sean Gardini]

They had marbles in the math class. Like, we want to give them a tactile sensory experience along with the math. And the guy, swear to God, he was going, oh, yes.

[Colin]

Oh, that's so great. I look at Brittany, like, snatter all, bro.

[Sean Gardini]

You think so?

[Colin]

Probably.

[Sean Gardini]

I don't.

[Colin]

Oh, yeah, yeah.

[Sean Gardini]

Oh, it's.

[Colin]

That's really great trees.

[Sean Gardini]

Maybe he was Adderall. I don't know what it was. It was the craziest reaction I've ever heard. I was like, dude, what that you.

[Lemaire Lee]

Get pumped up about on Adderall?

[Sean Gardini]

Yeah, I think it was with the school. I think it was like everything they'd say. I guess it felt good to be. I totally agree.

[Colin]

Yeah.

[Sean Gardini]

Oh, that's so important.

[Colin]

That is so important.

[Sean Gardini]

We let the child. Oh yes.

[Colin]

So good.

[Sean Gardini]

It was crazy.

[Eddie]

I'm convinced that guy had a butt plug in.

[Sean Gardini]

That's one of the 10%. We are the 10 percenters.

[Colin]

Yeah. He's probably covering his tracks. He was probably going, oh yeah, that's so important. Oh yeah.

[Sean Gardini]

His wife might have been in the pocketbook going, buzzing him up.

[Lemaire Lee]

Do you watch a new dude. New dude show?

[Sean Gardini]

No.

[Lemaire Lee]

It's so good.

[Sean Gardini]

Saving myself for the movies.

[Lemaire Lee]

I've been killing women written shows. The Penguin.

[Colin]

The Penguin.

[Lemaire Lee]

Is that women Penguin is so fucking good, dude.

[Sean Gardini]

Is it really?

[Lemaire Lee]

It's awesome. You're a hater.

[Sean Gardini]

Did you with hod h of Dragons?

[Lemaire Lee]

Nah, I'm going to get back on it. I. I just. I kind of fell off, honestly.

[Sean Gardini]

So you're addicted to powerful heroines?

[Lemaire Lee]

No, not necessarily. They're just women writers love Wicked. I didn't want. I'm not watching Wicked. But did you see the dolls? They. They put a bunch of dolls out for like Wicked Barbie or whatever and it said wicked.com on the back and like that's OG porn. So all these people are trying to find the dolls. Going to Wicked.com only to see Jenna Jameson's huge tits.

[Colin]

That's Wicked. That is.

[Lemaire Lee]

I. Dude, we went on a.

[Sean Gardini]

Who's Jenna Jameson married to? Isn't she married to like a. An actor right now or something?

[Lemaire Lee]

I think like a. I'm not sure I was.

[Sean Gardini]

I just. I got a request. I got a guest request in my email and it was like. And his wife.

[Lemaire Lee]

We went to Florida when I was 14, 15. Do you know the computers that used to be in the hotels? Like in the lobby. Business computer. I would cry.

[Sean Gardini]

We.

[Lemaire Lee]

Me and my cousin went over to it immediately went on Google images. Jenna Jameson naked. And then some dude rolled down. We bounced the hotel. I stayed at Williamsport. You missed out. They had a computer in the lobby. But that was haunted as bro also Gardini. That hotel we stayed out in St. Louis. Haunted.

[Unknown]

I know.

[Lemaire Lee]

I actually looked it up and there was like beds moving and.

[Sean Gardini]

Oh really? What? Yeah, it was really haunted looking.

[Lemaire Lee]

It was creepy as dude. I was scared of that as f. Really?

[Colin]

The house I'm in now is this one. No, the. Your house is haunted up one of Westchester. Oh yeah. It's not though.

[Sean Gardini]

I Think it is.

[Colin]

Nothing's happened.

[Lemaire Lee]

You love the haunt, bro.

[Sean Gardini]

He does.

[Lemaire Lee]

You live for the haunt.

[Colin]

You know, I love spooky stuff.

[Lemaire Lee]

Did you ever watch a documentary on hula?

[Colin]

Which one?

[Lemaire Lee]

About the dude who had the fucking legit haunted house.

[Sean Gardini]

Really?

[Lemaire Lee]

He didn't have a haunted house.

[Colin]

He was torturing people.

[Lemaire Lee]

Torture people. But you would sign a waiver, and he referred to it as the home.

[Colin]

If you make it through this, I'll give you 10,000. People would get through it.

[Lemaire Lee]

He would shave your one eyeball. Yeah. Bury you alive. Shave your eyebrow off. Pull your tooth out.

[Sean Gardini]

So he was haunting people.

[Lemaire Lee]

He was giving them.

[Colin]

Literally just torturing people. It was basically like, do you want to live in the movie? Movie that saw. He blocked someone in his house and beat the out of him and be like, yeah, you quit.

[Lemaire Lee]

They, like, literally bury them alive. Like, oh, you're tapping. All right. Don't get the ten grand. They were just videotaped this and definitely drink.

[Colin]

A soldier went through it, right?

[Lemaire Lee]

Yeah.

[Colin]

Like a marine go through it. And he made it the whole way. And he was like, no, I'm not.

[Sean Gardini]

Paying you to yank someone out of bed by their ankles, dude.

[Lemaire Lee]

Like, he did this. What he just call it. They all called it the home want.

[Sean Gardini]

Is it a documentary now?

[Colin]

Yeah.

[Lemaire Lee]

It's amazing.

[Colin]

It's very funny because the people that get tricked by it are also. Yeah, I have it coming.

[Sean Gardini]

Ghost heads are a little weird.

[Colin]

They're ghost heads. They're on the Internet. They go, holy. This is the scariest thing ever. It's literally just a weird guy beating the out of you.

[Lemaire Lee]

Yeah.

[Colin]

Like, this is so spooky.

[Lemaire Lee]

It is up, though. He, like, will try to pull your tooth out, and.

[Sean Gardini]

Yeah, that's crazy, too. To call, like, your loved ones. Like, it's going great. My inside pulled up.

[Colin]

It's like the Monroe.

[Lemaire Lee]

I was literally gonna say that. It's pretty much like the haunted. Like, people who are into haunts, but for Monroe.

[Colin]

Yeah.

[Sean Gardini]

You can't disrupt the haunt.

[Lemaire Lee]

Yeah. All the way here from Germany.

[Sean Gardini]

I had a spooky dream last night.

[Colin]

Oh, no.

[Sean Gardini]

I was on a train. Like, do you want to take the seat on the top? And I was on the seat above the train, dude. And I was on the seat. It was like. It just turned out to be like, a little swing, and I was getting propelled on a train, and my little tether kept going further and further. Eventually, I started, like, swinging around power lines. I had to abandon.

[Lemaire Lee]

I feel like an astronaut.

[Sean Gardini]

It felt like a astronaut. It's Sick.

[Lemaire Lee]

I had a dream when someone died in my house and I took too long to call the cops and I had a discard of the body.

[Sean Gardini]

What?

[Lemaire Lee]

Yeah.

[Colin]

What the. We need to get you boys to the Monroe. Dreams like these.

[Sean Gardini]

I know we got to go back. It was.

[Colin]

I was like, dreams like these, who needs reality?

[Sean Gardini]

True that. True. I will say I was like, like in. I was up like probably like 60ft. Just holding on to like swing chains being like, I could fall the out of here. And I'd experienced that terror last night. I was like, that's up. I got enough problems, dude. I was like, I don't need to be propelled like 75ft in the air. Wake up like to a kid crying.

[Colin]

I'm like. Speaking of tumble, have we discussed Jay Leno's Brusky tumble? No.

[Sean Gardini]

What happened to him?

[Colin]

He took a late night.

[Lemaire Lee]

He said he was just gonna go eat.

[Colin]

He's at a hotel. He hit a. He's like. There's a restaurant down at the bottom.

[Sean Gardini]

His chin. Is the hotel okay? He just damaged the floor.

[Colin]

No, he went. He. I think he. Down a hill to a restaurant. Oh, big time Brewski tumble. His whole. He's two faced. He's Harvey Dent. Now the whole side of his body is ruined.

[Billy]

He took a geez tumble. That's not a Brusky. That's a geezer tumble.

[Sean Gardini]

A lot of geezers.

[Colin]

Yeah, they're brisket.

[Sean Gardini]

Yeah, okay.

[Colin]

No, that is a. Bruce said he.

[Lemaire Lee]

Was getting hurt before this.

[Colin]

He's been getting rock, dude. His car exploded his house. Jay Leno's beginning to beat the up. What's it.

[Lemaire Lee]

What's that movie where the guy has to keep his adrenaline up high?

[Colin]

Yeah, he's doing that.

[Sean Gardini]

What is it?

[Lemaire Lee]

Yeah, Crank. He's just in the next Crank.

[Colin]

I got a car accident. I've got to get to that Applebee's.

[Lemaire Lee]

Oh, Crank's wild.

[Sean Gardini]

Seeing Jay Leno drunk, it would be a kind of exciting. Then seeing him fall would be like far.

[Lemaire Lee]

He felt like.

[Colin]

He felt like like 50ft.

[Sean Gardini]

What?

[Lemaire Lee]

He took the like a princess pride. Remember the dude falls in that.

[Sean Gardini]

Hold up, let me see this. Oh, I see. I saw the face. I didn't know what the it was.

[Colin]

Yeah, it's a Bruski tumble. And also he's. He's taken so many Bruski tumbles and car explosions that people are calling him gay.

[Sean Gardini]

Why?

[Lemaire Lee]

Why?

[Colin]

Because he keeps getting beat up and people like, obviously this is gay prostitutes.

[Lemaire Lee]

Yeah, this is the Illuminati at work.

[Colin]

No, it's just brusky tumbles and people like, this is the devil engaged.

[Sean Gardini]

Getting your ass kicked by a gay prostitute.

[Colin]

I just watched a gay dude beat.

[Lemaire Lee]

Someone up on Twitter. Was crazy.

[Colin]

Nice.

[Lemaire Lee]

Did you see like he stopped on the guy's head like this?

[Sean Gardini]

What?

[Billy]

It was crazy.

[Sean Gardini]

What was this?

[Lemaire Lee]

It was crazy. This gay dude just beat the out of some. His sister's boyfriend.

[Sean Gardini]

Damn.

[Lemaire Lee]

And he went over his head. The guy was talking. He's like, what you say?

[Colin]

Oh, no.

[Lemaire Lee]

And just like stepped back over him like this and just stood over him the whole time. It was wild.

[Sean Gardini]

The gay guy beat his ass.

[Lemaire Lee]

Yeah, dude.

[Sean Gardini]

Yeah. That sucks.

[Colin]

Yeah.

[Sean Gardini]

You got to just fold it up after that and become like a priest.

[Lemaire Lee]

That's when you pull it out. Pause the gun.

[Sean Gardini]

Yeah, right.

[Lemaire Lee]

Or submit fully and pull it out.

[Sean Gardini]

That's what I'm saying.

[Lemaire Lee]

I've been wearing a butt all day.

[Colin]

Fine.

[Sean Gardini]

I'm yours now.

[Colin]

You've defeated me in hand to hand combat. I am yours.

[Sean Gardini]

Will you have me.

[Colin]

For what?

[Eddie]

I don't.

[Colin]

Just. Just when I thought I was at.

[Sean Gardini]

Okay.

[Colin]

She pulls me right back.

[Lemaire Lee]

She hates Bill Mar. Bro.

[Colin]

Who?

[Lemaire Lee]

Janet Jameson.

[Colin]

Jameson hates Bill Moore.

[Lemaire Lee]

Hates him.

[Colin]

Who gives a say?

[Lemaire Lee]

He's a piece of why? He just said he's a piece of why. Known for the Playboy Mansion. Kid Love Productions. It's company's name.

[Sean Gardini]

That is production. That is the company's name. I've heard that before.

[Lemaire Lee]

Is what it is.

[Sean Gardini]

Kid Love Production. That's a fair question.

[Lemaire Lee]

What's Shannon Sharp's podcast? Club Shaisha. Yeah, I was thinking Club random Club Shaysha.

[Sean Gardini]

Yeah, two different clubs, dude.

[Lemaire Lee]

Yeah. Did you see he had the hawk to a girl on.

[Sean Gardini]

I saw.

[Colin]

I saw Bill on. Yeah, I. Yeah.

[Lemaire Lee]

Also, there's another slap. The Tyson slap took over the Will Smith slap.

[Sean Gardini]

Nah, dude, don't even know we're close, bro.

[Colin]

No, it was Will Smith slap was way, bro.

[Lemaire Lee]

It was huge. But did you see that?

[Sean Gardini]

I saw it.

[Colin]

I saw it. I don't know if it was fake or not. I don't know. I don't know if it was staged. You see, he stepped on his foot. Yes. It could be real. You never know.

[Lemaire Lee]

Tyson hates. Dude, that was confusing the out of me when the. That the only like, weird was when the announcer kept telling Roy Jones Jr. Oh, no, that's Mike Tyson's tick. He like, bites his glove and Roy Jones like, no, he doesn't.

[Sean Gardini]

Yeah, that was kind of what the.

[Lemaire Lee]

Are you talking about?

[Sean Gardini]

But he's always been doing that.

[Colin]

What's it.

[Lemaire Lee]

He'S always been his love.

[Billy]

Always done that.

[Sean Gardini]

Yeah, not that much.

[Billy]

His trainer taught him. Otto taught him how to do that so he can keep his guard up. He's always done that a little bit.

[Sean Gardini]

Well, there you go. Yeah.

[Colin]

Who the is out cuss a motto. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

[Sean Gardini]

That must have been one of his later trainers. I was like, yeah.

[Colin]

I said, otto, I mean, I corrected you, and I was wrong. So now I need to go to blue ski.

[Sean Gardini]

Now we got.

[Colin]

I was an incorrect. No, it all. That's where the blue skis. When you're an incorrect, know it all. You head over to blue ski, take your pills, and go on blue ski.

[Sean Gardini]

Guys, think about it. Our cars run on fuel, and they propel us forward for snacks.

[Colin]

Capitalism's fault.

[Sean Gardini]

It's capitalism.

[Colin]

Yeah.

[Sean Gardini]

He's making me buy all these snacks. I mean, I make so much money.

[Colin]

Part of it. He's right that it is capitalism that's putting the chemicals in the food.

[Sean Gardini]

Yeah.

[Colin]

So, you know, I mean, but he did it wrong. Yeah. He was an incorrect. Know it all, but they all are brought.

[Lemaire Lee]

They had. They thought they were going to take over Sissons, Withers and all those boys.

[Colin]

They're white dudes.

[Lemaire Lee]

They were the young white boys for Harris, and they folded. Like, we let women down. It's like, dude, not every women wants.

[Sean Gardini]

Dude, women got completely psyoped into thinking that they were going to be, like, shot in the head by a doctor during birth.

[Colin]

I don't.

[Sean Gardini]

Dude, they're for real. Like, if I have a. There's. It's called a. I don't know why.

[Lemaire Lee]

They throw black dudes in with deportation. Like, they're going to deport the immigrants and the blacks. It's like, why?

[Sean Gardini]

Yeah.

[Lemaire Lee]

How are they getting roped into this? Dude, you guys got roped in on the gay pride flag, and I'm sorry about that.

[Sean Gardini]

Yeah, that's a tough.

[Eddie]

L. Wait, are we on the flag?

[Lemaire Lee]

Yeah, you're right next to the trannies on the gay pride flag.

[Colin]

Because there's two stripes in the flag now.

[Lemaire Lee]

Black and brown, bro.

[Eddie]

We should be spazzing. That's like.

[Lemaire Lee]

Yeah, you let it happen.

[Colin]

All right.

[Eddie]

I'm leading the charge on that.

[Colin]

Although that. The gay dude that beat that guy up put you guys. Yeah, that's stripes on the flag.

[Eddie]

He belongs on there.

[Colin]

Yeah, that guy rules.

[Eddie]

He's the strongest person on the flag.

[Lemaire Lee]

That happened during COVID What, that fight? No, no. You guys got put on the flag during COVID They did.

[Colin]

Congress passed it.

[Eddie]

I think they let us know That I think everybody else knows that. I don't think black people know we're on the.

[Colin]

Yeah.

[Lemaire Lee]

If you go in the gay broad in Philly, it's on the street signs.

[Eddie]

I thought that was like, for. You said brown blood.

[Lemaire Lee]

No, brown and black.

[Eddie]

Oh, I thought you said brown blood. I thought it was like a blood thing.

[Sean Gardini]

Yeah, yeah.

[Lemaire Lee]

White guys aren't on it.

[Eddie]

Gay sex stuff.

[Sean Gardini]

Damn, he's sick. To be a gay racist and just rip off the tan.

[Colin]

Black gay rac.

[Sean Gardini]

No.

[Colin]

Yeah. Right. Not getting.

[Sean Gardini]

But yeah. Dude, they tricked women into thinking that, like, if you. It's an ectopic pregnancy is when you get an egg in the fallopian tubes. And like, dude, there was a lot of, like. A lot of, like, Britney's friends were like, be careful down there. And like, we looked it up and it's like, none of it's true.

[Colin]

Obviously.

[Sean Gardini]

Like, if you're dying, the doctor won't save you. It's like, not true. None of it's true. True from what?

[Lemaire Lee]

I was gonna get a bonus this year. If you get pregnant, all your dreams won't come true.

[Sean Gardini]

No, for real. It was like, you're gonna die. If you have a miscarriage, you're like, if you have a miscarriage. They're not.

[Lemaire Lee]

Yeah, it's gonna just stay in your.

[Sean Gardini]

Until it's like. I was like, that can't be true. And I looked it up. I was like, no, none of it's true. Even in, like, Texas.

[Lemaire Lee]

Yeah, all the. All those soy boys were hitting. Like, we've. We've let women down today. My daughter, it's like, dude, why are you so worried about your daughter getting pregnant?

[Sean Gardini]

My wife's going to get killed during a C section. No. Yeah.

[Lemaire Lee]

The mayor's blue no matter who, bro. He doesn't care what they're talking about.

[Colin]

Did you feel like we let women down, though? Honestly?

[Billy]

No.

[Colin]

Really? So what are you crying about?

[Billy]

2025, though?

[Lemaire Lee]

I do.

[Colin]

That's all.

[Lemaire Lee]

Has nothing to do with Trump.

[Billy]

I. Brother, they already took the porn before it even started, so they should.

[Colin]

Dude, it's all Democrat.

[Billy]

No, it wasn't.

[Colin]

Abbot's Republican. Yeah, but, dude, you should.

[Sean Gardini]

There needs.

[Colin]

I need to go to Blueski.

[Sean Gardini]

There. There should be some sort of guardrail. Although you can go on any porn site, really. Just can't go on porn.

[Lemaire Lee]

Oh, yeah.

[Colin]

That is the Republicans taking our porn. That's fucking weird.

[Sean Gardini]

I think it's good. Why should kids. If you can't go ahead and buy alcohol, why can you? A kid just Go look at fucking porn on the Internet. There should be some stop measure against it.

[Colin]

Yeah, you go. Are you 18, yes or no? Yes. Of course the honest porn kids are going to do the right thing.

[Sean Gardini]

Yeah, I like it. I like the blocks.

[Lemaire Lee]

It's good.

[Colin]

I mean it is kind of convenient when you're sitting down to do something nasty. You go, what have I, Governor Abbott? You're right.

[Lemaire Lee]

When I hit, no fabs, dude. It's a lot of time you save. True.

[Sean Gardini]

There. You can get right around it. That's don't get me wrong, but yeah, I'm not totally against it.

[Lemaire Lee]

Think about the 20 minute sessions you hit every now and then where you got a little sweat hitting the phone. You're like, what am I doing?

[Colin]

Yeah, dude, mom sweats hitting the phone when you're jacking off. You sweat jacking off furiously.

[Lemaire Lee]

No, no, not actually.

[Sean Gardini]

I sweat under my balls.

[Colin]

Big pretty badly under your tank. Get sweaty when you jack off.

[Sean Gardini]

So sweaty. I work up a vicious sweat underneath my balls. Really? Then I get done. That's hard.

[Lemaire Lee]

Are you guys jacking?

[Colin]

I don't think I've ever sweat jacking off, dude.

[Lemaire Lee]

I have like sweat jacking off like a Greek.

[Colin]

Yeah.

[Sean Gardini]

Just comes on a leaf.

[Colin]

Absolutely. I'm literally doing exactly that probably in that seat before I'm on the turret.

[Sean Gardini]

I get out, I'm in the.

[Lemaire Lee]

I'm in the driver's seat, brother. Clean ball.

[Colin]

You're fight something, dude. You're fighting something if you're sweating. Jacking off to that stuff is what it is. There's a battle going on. I considered something else, but I.

[Lemaire Lee]

No, I would never do.

[Sean Gardini]

It's the battle for the ultimate vid. You're going, this one's all right, but there's a better one out there.

[Colin]

There's something else.

[Sean Gardini]

Oh, I'm.

[Colin]

So how do you guys feel about this sweat versus not sweating jack off thing?

[Eddie]

I think of the posture like I've been getting it on your phone because.

[Colin]

He jacked up on the toilet.

[Sean Gardini]

Obviously. Obviously. Obviously. You're finishing with a self suck.

[Lemaire Lee]

I'm institutionalized, bro.

[Colin]

This is where I beat off my whole life. For real though. Jacking off on the toilet is a blue ski.

[Lemaire Lee]

No, it's not.

[Colin]

That's what it's called.

[Lemaire Lee]

What?

[Colin]

Jacking off on the toilet. It's called a blue sky.

[Lemaire Lee]

Dude, don't do that.

[Colin]

You do blue skis.

[Lemaire Lee]

That's alpha jizz it on your.

[Sean Gardini]

Yeah, it's prison.

[Lemaire Lee]

It's always flush, bro. I would feel so bad to jizz on my own.

[Sean Gardini]

I've jade on the tea.

[Colin]

You've jade on a turret.

[Sean Gardini]

Aim it right in the toilet. Because it's like I don't want to. I'm like leaving it there because then.

[Colin]

I want to try to preserve some water.

[Sean Gardini]

I don't want to alert the jerk off police if I flush. It's like.

[Lemaire Lee]

Let me get.

[Colin]

That's two stars.

[Lemaire Lee]

That's what I'm saying. This is like institutionalized, where it's like you can't flush twice in the bathroom, so you got to take a and jerk off.

[Colin]

You guys had a wild childhood.

[Lemaire Lee]

I mean, dude, people.

[Sean Gardini]

Dude flushes the jail for strong.

[Colin]

The JP was on you.

[Lemaire Lee]

They'll get your ass, dude. Population watching the other door bang. Like, what are you doing in there? Nothing.

[Sean Gardini]

I was talking about my wife.

[Colin]

Yeah, I know. Yeah, but then you were institutionalized.

[Sean Gardini]

I was Metal Gear Solid.

[Lemaire Lee]

Yeah.

[Sean Gardini]

Before that. Yeah, I was. I was solid Snake before that. That.

[Colin]

Guys, we're dropping E. Yeah.

[Sean Gardini]

The worst is the cleanup in a toilet. You got to be careful because like one flush doesn't take everything down.

[Lemaire Lee]

They'll hang on the side.

[Sean Gardini]

Clean slug. Yeah. That's the last thing you want to question. Like, what the going on with the toilet? Be like, huh, huh. You got to check the perimeter. You might miss and hit the sides.

[Colin]

This is a whole thing.

[Sean Gardini]

It's a big thing, dude. It's a major operation. Yeah, it's a major operation.

[Lemaire Lee]

I mean, you had your own room your whole life.

[Colin]

Yeah.

[Lemaire Lee]

Could never do it.

[Sean Gardini]

True.

[Lemaire Lee]

Being in my room would be devilish.

[Sean Gardini]

That would be crazy. I just read a book about a guy in prison. He was saying that they used a sock that they would flip inside out. So it was like the outer part of the sock, but you would flip that inwards. That was like softer. And he said like an old school. Like an OG dude had been locked up there for a long time. Was like, you roll the socks together, you hit like the soft part of the sock. And right before you come, you just jack up the base. Or not the base, like underneath the helmet.

[Colin]

What erotic fiction was this?

[Sean Gardini]

It was just this guy tell. He was like the guy like, put me on the game.

[Colin]

My mom give you this.

[Sean Gardini]

Said an older inmate schooled him. Was like, dude, if you want to.

[Colin]

Come really hard, just jack off.

[Sean Gardini]

But then you have to like press the top. He goes, dude, it's a knee buckler. Every time. It was such a weird.

[Lemaire Lee]

I just watched 60 Days In. Everyone in jail just dumb as it. It's all just A bunch of dumbass dudes. I think we tricked him this time. Let's smoke weed. The guards come and check this out. Like we fooled them. It's like they definitely just don't want to work.

[Colin]

Yeah, but you're just back in eighth grade.

[Lemaire Lee]

I know. That's what I'm saying. Every single one 60 days in is a crazy show. I love it.

[Sean Gardini]

It is good. Do you ever think about? What? How you'd be in there?

[Lemaire Lee]

I would never. Dude, jail?

[Sean Gardini]

Really?

[Lemaire Lee]

I would hate to be. I went to the Monroe.

[Colin]

You'd have to go to the gun shopping.

[Lemaire Lee]

I went to the Monroe Institute.

[Sean Gardini]

No, but what if you're, like, a political prisoner? What if you, like. What if the Dems won and then, like, you had to take back what was yours?

[Lemaire Lee]

Oh, I thought about that before. I would take the L. I would immediately turn on Road to Moscow, put the AirPods in, just wait for the bus to pick me up.

[Colin]

Crossed over the border. Yeah. I think we've done it.

[Sean Gardini]

We did it. Stretch my knee out.

[Colin]

I think we've done it.

[Sean Gardini]

I think we done did it, Bill.

[Lemaire Lee]

Same shoe.

[Colin]

Same shoe.

[Lemaire Lee]

What does that see on there?

[Colin]

It's Blue Ski.

[Lemaire Lee]

For real?

[Colin]

It's Drew Ski. Yeah. Is he blue? He's Blueski. Drew Blueski?

[Lemaire Lee]

That's crazy.

[Sean Gardini]

All right, thank you, guys.

[Colin]

God bless you guys.