Ep 545 - Thunder Fish

Summary

Podcast Summary: Matt and Shane's Secret Podcast Episode: Ep 545 - Thunder Fish
Release Date: February 13, 2025
Hosts: Matt McCusker & Shane Gillis
Guests: Mark Normand & Sean Patton

---

1. Beach Adventures and Shark Tales The episode kicks off with the hosts reminiscing about their recent trip to Dania Beach, Florida. Shane Gillis shares his experience taking Lamar to the ocean for the first time, highlighting the challenges they faced with the local environment.

Shane Gillis [00:50]: "We went out pretty far, like into a sandbar. And then you get him out for."

Mark Normand adds humorously about Lamar's inability to swim and their cautious approach to avoid shark encounters.

Mark Normand [02:31]: "Do you think he could just grip its hammerhead and just like pause."

The conversation lightens as they joke about overcoming fears and the unpredictable nature of the ocean.

---

2. Super Bowl Shenanigans and Celebrity Encounters Transitioning to their Super Bowl experiences, Shane discusses the grandeur of the event and his fascination with its display of worldly power.

Shane Gillis [04:02]: "The Super Bowl, the more I never really thought about it until I went last year and I was like, dude, this is like the apex of worldly power."

They recount encounters with celebrities like Tyreek Hill and Julian Edelman, sharing amusing anecdotes about unexpected interactions.

Mark Normand [05:46]: "We were there for the national championship. Maybe."

Shane Gillis [09:12]: "I got spooked Vince Vaughn that one time badly in Vegas last year."

These stories illustrate the unpredictable and often hilarious nature of mingling with the stars during major events.

---

3. Embarrassing Moments and Personal Stories Mark and Shane delve into personal anecdotes that range from wardrobe mishaps during performances to unfortunate encounters in public spaces.

Shane Gillis [20:24]: "Once I went to Dick's and I bought like golf pants and like a T-shirt. That was kind of sick."

Mark Normand [35:11]: "I heard the door open. Scampered."

They humorously discuss the lengths they've gone to avoid embarrassing situations, such as almost getting caught in compromising moments.

---

4. Deep Dives into Literature and Mythology Shane transitions into a more intellectual discussion about James Joyce's Finnegans Wake and its interpretation through Joseph Campbell's lens. He expresses his admiration for the complexity and genius of Joyce's work.

Shane Gillis [23:36]: "I've been absolutely just like, dumbstruck by Joyce's genius. Dude, it's amazing."

Mark engages by highlighting the challenges of comprehending such intricate literature, adding depth to their conversation.

---

5. Musings on Race Relations and Cultural Shifts A significant portion of the episode is dedicated to discussing race relations, cultural dynamics, and the impact of societal changes on various communities. The hosts analyze the evolving perceptions and the complexities that arise as societal norms shift.

Shane Gillis [56:58]: "As the country gets better in terms of race relations, will black guys lose cool points?"

Mark Normand [57:01]: "It is, dude. You can't be."

They critically examine the intersection of culture, race, and public perception, offering their unique comedic perspectives on sensitive topics.

---

6. Reflections on the Halftime Performance and Hip-Hop Culture The discussion shifts to the Super Bowl halftime show, where the hosts critique the performances and the underlying messages conveyed by the artists. They debate the authenticity and the cultural implications of the performances.

Shane Gillis [41:24]: "She was like, she's ruining football."

Mark Normand [43:40]: "He's gonna get a lot, yeah."

Their banter reflects on the commercial aspects of major performances and their personal takes on the artists' intentions and public reception.

---

7. Concluding Thoughts and Final Banter As the episode winds down, the hosts engage in light-hearted banter, touching upon topics like fashion mishaps, social media antics, and the absurdities of modern life. They wrap up the episode with a blend of humor and reflective commentary, leaving listeners entertained and contemplative.

Shane Gillis [66:43]: "He's selling Hitler shirts. It's crazy, dude."

Mark Normand [70:00]: "Hitler was gay. Yeah, true. No one's taking that angle."

The episode concludes with playful exchanges, showcasing the hosts' chemistry and their ability to navigate a wide range of topics seamlessly.

---

Notable Quotes:

• Shane Gillis [04:02]: "The Super Bowl, the more I never really thought about it until I went last year and I was like, dude, this is like the apex of worldly power."

• Mark Normand [35:11]: "I heard the door open. Scampered."

• Shane Gillis [23:36]: "I've been absolutely just like, dumbstruck by Joyce's genius. Dude, it's amazing."

• Shane Gillis [56:58]: "As the country gets better in terms of race relations, will black guys lose cool points?"

• Mark Normand [70:00]: "Hitler was gay. Yeah, true. No one's taking that angle."

---

Conclusion: In Episode 545 - "Thunder Fish," Matt McCusker and Shane Gillis, joined by Mark Normand and Sean Patton, deliver a rollercoaster of humor, personal stories, and insightful commentary. From beach escapades and Super Bowl antics to deep literary dives and cultural critiques, the hosts engage listeners with their sharp wit and candid conversations. This episode encapsulates the essence of "Matt and Shane's Secret Podcast"—a blend of hilarity and thought-provoking discussions that keep audiences hooked from start to finish.

Transcript

[Shane Gillis]

Hey, no, I like it. It smells like.

[Mark Normand]

This one smells like cigs too.

[Shane Gillis]

Oh, it's gardening. He's purifying the mics with tobacco like a native American shaman, dude. He's blowing tobacco smoke into them.

[Sean Patton]

I'm sorry. I'll clean him.

[Shane Gillis]

No, thank you. I like the smell. It's actually kind of nice.

[Mark Normand]

This is the bit I was waiting for. Let's paper straws. No more. We're done.

[Shane Gillis]

This is my last one. No more. We're gonna. We're gonna go back and put all the plastic rings around the dolphins necks onto Trump's gonna. We're gonna get this country.

[Mark Normand]

Do you hear what he said when he was signing it?

[Shane Gillis]

What?

[Mark Normand]

He's like, and I think the sharks are gonna be okay as they're eating everything in the ocean. All right. All right, man. Hilarious.

[Shane Gillis]

That is sick to be like, sharks can bite anything.

[Mark Normand]

He's like, sharks can bite anything. We're gonna sign that. What's next?

[Shane Gillis]

I had Lamar. Lamar went in the ocean for the first time this weekend. We're in Dania Beach, Florida.

[Mark Normand]

Yeah. Skank fest.

[Shane Gillis]

He's never gone to the ocean.

[Mark Normand]

Or. No. The Florida Comedy Festival.

[Sean Patton]

Oh, yeah, I think he was on the beach, but I don't think water.

[Mark Normand]

He stays away from the water. Exactly. Oh, yeah, he literally. He can't swim. No, we went.

[Shane Gillis]

We went to the ocean this weekend. Dania beach, by the way, their beach. A lot to be desired. A lot to be desired. I went there. I'm like, lamar, they'll have shops everywhere. Like, we need to show.

[Mark Normand]

Yeah, that, like. Yeah, that's tough.

[Shane Gillis]

There was nothing. I mean, I will say there were a lot of bubble butted mommies on the beach. Yeah, that was about it. There was big rocks in the ocean. So you just stub your toe in the ocean, like, ow.

[Mark Normand]

That would scare me, dude. I even touch a rock, I'm high knees and out of the water, bro.

[Shane Gillis]

I was telling the mayor. I was like, dude, just come in the ocean. You're fine, man. He's like, I don't know. Like, there's like, there's like sharks. I'm like, there's no sharks in here. We were like, we went out pretty far, like into a sandbar. And then you get him out for.

[Mark Normand]

He literally, he cannot swim.

[Shane Gillis]

It was, it was waist. It was waist high. And then it went up to like, up to your knees. There's like a really sick size, really.

[Mark Normand]

Dangerous to bring him out there.

[Shane Gillis]

Well, here's the thing. I saw there was a guy I Was telling the mayor, I'm like, there was a dude who went like Friel, like 60 yards out. And I was like, just, you don't want to be the furthest guy out. That's the shark.

[Mark Normand]

That's the shark guy.

[Shane Gillis]

You stay just halfway through. And then. And we went out to the sandbar and after we got, we got done at the beach, we got an Uber back and the guy was like, oh, Daniel beach, you know there's a lot of sharks. I looked it up. I was like, yep, great whites, dude, they migrate down and during this time they come down and chill like around there. And I was just telling him. I was like, I was like, my bad.

[Mark Normand]

Great whites are so spooky, dude.

[Shane Gillis]

Terror. I was like, lamar, there's no shirt.

[Mark Normand]

I googled.

[Shane Gillis]

I'm like, great.

[Mark Normand]

Why so video of a giant hammerhead.

[Shane Gillis]

What?

[Mark Normand]

It's like a different type of hammerhead. They're massive.

[Shane Gillis]

Can hammerheads bite you? I feel like that's one type of shark. You could kind of outmaneuver that lame ass head.

[Mark Normand]

I know it is a very dumb head, but I. It's certainly. They can bite you.

[Shane Gillis]

You don't think you could just like grip its hammerhead and just like pause. True.

[Mark Normand]

Oh, man, this is. This is good. We did it today. If we did it yesterday, I would have been asleep.

[Shane Gillis]

Dude, I. I was sleepy too, man.

[Mark Normand]

Insane weekend.

[Shane Gillis]

Yeah, I bet. Dude, it was probably part. Was it be like, I'm sure the day before was party time.

[Mark Normand]

Yeah. Friday, Saturday. Dude, the. The one time I went with Bert two years ago. We got there on a Monday. We stayed for a week.

[Shane Gillis]

Oh, you did.

[Mark Normand]

I remember that we did shows during the week. Yeah, you guys, that was, that was a week.

[Shane Gillis]

You guys were. Weren't you guys staying in like a Bob house the day before?

[Mark Normand]

We were saying that we were staying a full on Bob house with nothing but cameras. Just Bert and his team and came and every day it'd be like, Shane, we're gonna go do activities. I'd be like, I'll fucking kill you. I'll. I'm not doing a thing today. Leave me alone. I need to go home. This trip was. It was just the ocam and Tommy down there partying it up. It's good to see the boys get.

[Shane Gillis]

Loose, dude, I'm telling you, the super bowl, the more I never really thought about it until I went last year and I was like, dude, this is like the apex of worldly power.

[Mark Normand]

It is.

[Shane Gillis]

And then I was watching it this like this time just being like, dude, I was. It was like, freaking me.

[Mark Normand]

Yeah.

[Shane Gillis]

It's sick.

[Mark Normand]

Trump NT Swift.

[Shane Gillis]

Yeah, dude.

[Mark Normand]

Her getting booed.

[Shane Gillis]

I know.

[Mark Normand]

That was. I'll be honest. I was in the Eagles section for that. That was a. That was a fun boo. That was a. She's wearing Chiefs gear. These are Eagles fans.

[Shane Gillis]

Yeah.

[Mark Normand]

Because you know what I mean?

[Shane Gillis]

A lot of people are trying to say that, and I thought it was.

[Mark Normand]

Very funny while it was happening. And then I saw, like, a quote from Travis Kelsey that was like. That sucked. I felt terrible. While I was on the sideline, everyone was just booing my girlfriend. It was like, yeah, I guess that's really terrible. That'd be sad.

[Shane Gillis]

Yeah, that's very sad. I mean, yeah. Especially like, nah.

[Mark Normand]

Come on, man. Guard dogs has no mercy. Yeah.

[Sean Patton]

I don't have any. I don't feel any empathy for Travis Kelsey.

[Shane Gillis]

I mean, bro, I knew they're gonna lose when I saw him dressed like fucking 70s porn star. I was like, he's not taking this game seriously at all.

[Mark Normand]

I think he's dressed like a 70s porn star every time. I could be wrong.

[Shane Gillis]

Is he all right?

[Mark Normand]

I think he does that. Yeah.

[Shane Gillis]

Why?

[Mark Normand]

Why?

[Shane Gillis]

What's up with the cool outfits, dude? What happened to sweatsuits? Every college athlete just wears a gray sweatsuit all the time.

[Mark Normand]

Oh, that changed.

[Shane Gillis]

Whatever.

[Mark Normand]

Cool outfit. Sure. They got.

[Shane Gillis]

They got.

[Mark Normand]

They all got rich, as I did.

[Shane Gillis]

Forget they were all.

[Mark Normand]

Yeah.

[Shane Gillis]

Impoverished gladiators.

[Mark Normand]

Oh, come in. I'm sure they're going to tell a story on Stuff island, but it was. So we. We did Burt's show on Saturday night, and that's when the Ocon man got in. And he got in. He was a little banged up. I think his flight got delayed. I think he. He wanted to catch up on the way.

[Shane Gillis]

I got. You know. Yeah.

[Mark Normand]

And I think he went a little too far.

[Shane Gillis]

Mission accomplished.

[Mark Normand]

So he shows up, but he. I didn't know he was hammered. So we're sitting there, and then Tyreek Hill walks in, and he's standing right next to us, and he has his people with him, but Chris was against the wall. Tyreek Hill's right here. We're in the tunnel at the arena, and I just. I'm standing next to Chris along the wall, and Chris just reaches through. Tyree kills people and, like, grabs his arm. And they turn around like, what the fuck? And I was like, no, he's. He's my friend because I just met him. And I was like, he's good. He's my buddy. And then they walk Away. And I was like, chris, what the fuck was that? And he was like, I'm sorry. I'm so stupid. As soon as he did that, I was like, oh, you're fucking blacked out, dude. What the fuck are you doing?

[Shane Gillis]

You know you had a sleeper cell.

[Mark Normand]

He was a full sleeper cell. I had no idea, because I wasn't really talking to him. I was about to go on stage, and then I was like, dude, what the fuck you do? You don't just grab people's arms. He's like, ah, fuck. Then I go on stage, and apparently, while I was on stage, Julian Edelman walks by, and Chris. Chris goes, can I give you a hug? And he was like, why? And then walked away. And Chris was like, oh. So then he's coming back through the tunnel.

[Shane Gillis]

It's crazy. He took it to a Y. Be like, state your reason.

[Mark Normand]

I mean, I get it. He doesn't even know the guy I know. But some guy stand drunk in the tunnels, like, can I give you a hug, man? And then I realized I've hugged every single person that's ever asked for a hug. I'd be like, yeah, yeah, sure.

[Shane Gillis]

It is funny. Like, he was kind of thinking about. He's like, well, why?

[Mark Normand]

Yeah. He's like, why should I. Why would I hug you? And then he's. Edelman's coming back in the tunnel. And apparently Chris went for a super low five. He was walking by, and Chris was like. And they said. Edelman just was like, no, the. And I was like, dude, of course he did that. I would have thought someone was like, just purely with me. Like a low five. That's like, are you. I wouldn't have even thought he was giving me a high five.

[Shane Gillis]

Pulling a low five aways if I.

[Mark Normand]

Was walking by and somebody was like, yeah, what are you doing?

[Shane Gillis]

What is this, man?

[Mark Normand]

Anyway, that was Chris's big sliding.

[Shane Gillis]

A low five. I. I get. Wanting the hug.

[Mark Normand]

Is nuts.

[Shane Gillis]

And I was like, what the.

[Mark Normand]

You ask for a hug for. And he was like, it's Julian Edelman. I love Julian Edelman.

[Shane Gillis]

Oh, he's a bit. He's a New Englander. Yeah, but it's like, yeah, dude, that's crazy loaf. But going for the low five on the slide. Look, I get it. You got to keep up appearances. You can't be hugging me right now. Just give me a low five on the slide.

[Mark Normand]

Hello. Give me the lowest five. That was the. Okay. And then he carried that shame all weekend, and he was just constantly just.

[Shane Gillis]

That's so funny.

[Mark Normand]

Yeah. That was because.

[Shane Gillis]

Yeah, he is. He's high awareness enough to really analyze that behavior later. And he probably did. Probably did. It was a thorn in his side.

[Mark Normand]

Yeah, the Ocan man took that one very personally. I think he punched a wall later. It was quality footage. Somebody just sent me a video of him, like, outside punching a gate. And I was like, oh, man. The oh, comments.

[Shane Gillis]

I spooked Vince Vaughn that one time badly in Vegas last year.

[Mark Normand]

What you do?

[Shane Gillis]

I was hammered last year in Vegas. I kept doing the. Whatever that game was when they're like, if the. Like if the beer's in your left hand, you have to chug it right away. I kept getting caught with the beer, the bills.

[Mark Normand]

That was Gabe.

[Shane Gillis]

I was passing the. Yeah. I would just be like, you know, I. I was hitting a vape pen. I'd be like, take it, you. And I'd switch it to my right hand. They'd be like, ah, you got to drink your beers. And I was just chugging vodka and sodas. I got hammered and I. We were on that like, never ending party bus thing for a while.

[Mark Normand]

Yeah.

[Shane Gillis]

Yeah. I got off the party bus and I was like, what the. Is that Vince Vaughn? I was hammered and I was. I looked at him and I was like, vince, you're our only hope. Take us to the place. And I like, turned around to Nate and he was just 45ft ahead. I was like, oh, my bad. You're only hope, dude. Like, you're only hope.

[Mark Normand]

Yeah, it is. It is wild. Just so many celebs.

[Shane Gillis]

True celebs.

[Mark Normand]

And you're hammered and you're like, holy. There he is. I got to go. Say it. It's tied. Is my one chance, man. V, will you save us?

[Shane Gillis]

I didn't even. I just, like, saw him and reacted to, like, something that was bubbling, like, beneath my brain. Just like, dude, you're only hope. You're the chosen one. Take us to the promised. No idea what I was talking about.

[Mark Normand]

That's. Yeah, I mean, that's exactly what happened to the comment he saw. Julian Edelman was just like, julian, can I get a hug from you right now? No, no.

[Shane Gillis]

Why?

[Mark Normand]

Why do you want to hug?

[Shane Gillis]

It is a very and especially for, like, the why to hit O'Connor's brain, have him like, why would I ask? Just fully echo in his head. I didn't consider the reasons. That's awesome though. So that you guys started off on just like a. Yeah, it was fever.

[Mark Normand]

I mean, I just. I didn't. He was a full sleeper, so I Had no idea he was among us.

[Shane Gillis]

That is crazy to find out. Somebody did not know what the happened.

[Mark Normand]

He was like, my flight got delayed. I had a couple whiskeys. I was like, well, it's a long night. It's 7:30.

[Shane Gillis]

That's how early it was.

[Mark Normand]

It was early. Yeah.

[Shane Gillis]

No.

[Mark Normand]

Yeah.

[Shane Gillis]

What happened? Where did, like. Where did his, like, journeys take him that rest that night? That is super early. Obviously punching the fence or whatever he did.

[Mark Normand]

I don't know. He's good at Irish accident. He can hit a good Irish goodbye. Like, out of nowhere, you'll just be like, Where's O'Connor? And somebody will be like, he's. He got in a car.

[Shane Gillis]

Yeah.

[Mark Normand]

He just stumbled out.

[Shane Gillis]

He'll also walk. He'll walk too.

[Mark Normand]

He'll start running. Long walk. He used to sprint. I forgot about that. I wonder if he still does that.

[Shane Gillis]

My favorite thing I've ever seen him do is when we were. I had a party at my house, like years ago in Philly. And he just. We were all sitting on the roof deck, and he was just wearing headphones. And everyone's like, what?

[Mark Normand]

What?

[Shane Gillis]

What are you doing? He was like, listen.

[Mark Normand]

Listen to Bob Seeger. Every single time. He went on a Bob Seeger phase for like three years, where he would listen to like a rock. He would get hammered and listen to just. Song's so good.

[Shane Gillis]

Yeah. I could see at a party, though, kind of is. Like, doing some personal night moves would be decent. Just be like, I'm just charging myself.

[Mark Normand]

Back up for the vibe.

[Shane Gillis]

Yeah, it's pretty sick. Damn, dude. That was so. That's night one.

[Mark Normand]

Night one. Yeah. And then that night after Bird show, me and Zach Brian did a show at a bar, which was very funny because Zach was like, all right, I'll go first. Then you go on, do some stand up. And I was like, bro, that would be the worst possible show.

[Shane Gillis]

Yeah.

[Mark Normand]

Me first of all time. You can't. Comedy cannot follow music. Ever.

[Shane Gillis]

Never.

[Mark Normand]

And it was like, all right, man. He's like, it's up to you. Whatever. He's like, that's fine. That'll work. So we go in. It's just a packed college. Like, just young kids packed, standing room only. The stage is like a rug on the floor. There's no stage. And it was. It was like I went on. Fair to Midland. Yeah, fair. Very fair to Midland. I was excited to be like, that's it for me, Zach, Brian, everybody. They were like. And then he. He murdered. And while he was killing, I was like, this is Crazy.

[Shane Gillis]

It's more.

[Mark Normand]

Thought I was gonna follow that with, like, a jacking off story.

[Shane Gillis]

Yeah, it was. Yeah, that's impossible.

[Mark Normand]

At the end, it was a small bar, and then in the backyard, there was like a construction area, like in a muddy alley, which is where we went after. Just hung out back there. But from the exit of the bar to the back alley, there was like a pretty big drop into this construction area. And I literally got to the door, There were people behind me, and I was like, watch out. There's a very big drop here. Stepped out and rolled my ankle. I literally looked at what was going to happen. I was like, watch out, guys. You could get hurt on this. Thank God I didn't fall down. I was so close to. I really fucked my ankle up on that.

[Shane Gillis]

Yeah, dude, how deep? What was you talking? Like 12 inches?

[Mark Normand]

There were just trenches everywhere back there.

[Shane Gillis]

Oh, you guys were in Atlanta?

[Mark Normand]

No, in New Orleans.

[Shane Gillis]

I think it Super Bowls Atlanta.

[Mark Normand]

We were there for the national championship.

[Shane Gillis]

That's what it was.

[Mark Normand]

Maybe. Yeah.

[Shane Gillis]

Gotcha.

[Mark Normand]

So you're in Nolens down in nola. I love New Orleans.

[Shane Gillis]

Did it bounce back?

[Mark Normand]

What's that?

[Shane Gillis]

They've had a lot.

[Mark Normand]

Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. They bounced back.

[Shane Gillis]

Dude, that was freaking me out, too. The day I wasn't even. I was talking about Katrina, but then they had another trap I thought you were talking about. As soon as I said that, I'm like, oh, yeah. I'm thinking. Because I went there post Katrina a long time ago, and it was like. So I'm sure they've got juvenile song.

[Mark Normand]

Bounce back, bounce back. I'm about to bounce back, I think. Trust me.

[Shane Gillis]

Is this juvenile song or are you thinking of 500 foe boys?

[Mark Normand]

No, no, no.

[Shane Gillis]

You might be getting a bounce confused with a wobble.

[Mark Normand]

No, it's a juvie classic. Bounce back.

[Shane Gillis]

It could be. Was it post? Was it post Katrina or there's a big shot.

[Mark Normand]

Yeah, there's a bounce back. Juvenile Sick. Nice. Thank God I got that. Yes.

[Shane Gillis]

We have a visitor.

[Mark Normand]

That's a weird knock.

[Shane Gillis]

It's kind of a friendly knock.

[Mark Normand]

Who's that rapping?

[Shane Gillis]

Yeah, we should probably.

[Mark Normand]

Who's rapping upon my door?

[Shane Gillis]

Be careful, Sean.

[Mark Normand]

Oh, it's Texas gas service. See how guard dog handles this?

[Shane Gillis]

You're getting checked on for heavy gas consumption.

[Mark Normand]

All right.

[Shane Gillis]

You've been using.

[Mark Normand]

Great. No. Hey, we're back. Just a minor gas leak in my house.

[Shane Gillis]

No big deal.

[Mark Normand]

Nothing new.

[Shane Gillis]

No big deal. I'm gonna try to find the gas leak in Sylvia Plath myself. Just I'll go find that thing called a day. Actually, dude, I got a. It was really nice. The Dana Beach Improv gave me a. Like, a gift certificate to a used bookstore as, like, a gift.

[Mark Normand]

That's nice.

[Shane Gillis]

It was really nice. So I went. I finally went. It was like, I gotta get an Uber from the hotel. And I'm like. Because that area was Broward county is where they film cops.

[Mark Normand]

Yeah.

[Shane Gillis]

So I was, like, driving around through there, and it. Dude, it's like. It's kind of sketchy around there. Yeah, like, very sketchy. I was like, whatever. So I'm in an Uber, and I'm like, anytime you left a little. We were at a hub, obviously.

[Mark Normand]

That's all it is. Outdoor hubs, improv hub.

[Shane Gillis]

Left the hub, and it's just like Vice City all around. So I put the driver. I'm like, yeah, there's like, a bookstore up here somewhere. Dude. It was a shopping center of just at least one, if not two massage parlors. So I'm pulling in.

[Mark Normand]

The guy's like, a gift card for books, dude.

[Shane Gillis]

He's like, you said there's a bookstore, right? And I was like, I did, dude. I swear to God, there's a bookstore. I thought. I thought. He thought. I was like, adult bookstore. I'm going to go get some books.

[Mark Normand]

I'm about to read for the next. I'm going to read for 15 minutes, and then I'm going to just wait here.

[Shane Gillis]

So sit there and put it back.

[Mark Normand]

Wet from a shower. My hair is talking bookstore out of shower. You wouldn't believe it.

[Shane Gillis]

I told you, my one friend, in an absolute. The most depraved move was with visiting with a girlfriend, hanging with the family, ducked off, hit the wash, reunited, back with a family, wet hair and all, and was like, what's up, guys? The craziest move. But, yeah, I'm like, pulling up, he struck.

[Mark Normand]

He was just sitting there with his family, and he was like.

[Shane Gillis]

He was with her family?

[Mark Normand]

Yeah, just like, all right, I'm going to head out for a minute. I got to.

[Shane Gillis]

He got the itch and he was like. Ended up being late. Like, it was like they were down there, like, visit.

[Mark Normand]

She was just jacked off in the car, bro. Which would have been crazy. That would have been psychotic.

[Shane Gillis]

That's. I mean, dude, hitting. Being like, yo, if you guys will excuse me.

[Mark Normand]

Yeah.

[Shane Gillis]

With your own family, it's like, okay, it's still nuts, but with, like, someone else's family. That is a wild. I mean, I know. You know, all. All respect Goes through the move. It's a sick move.

[Mark Normand]

Powerful move.

[Shane Gillis]

Break out. Like, our family's gonna stress me out.

[Mark Normand]

I'm gonna go get jacked off by a sex life.

[Shane Gillis]

All right.

[Mark Normand]

And I'm back and fully bathed in.

[Shane Gillis]

Like, wet air, showers.

[Mark Normand]

Just coming back in, laughing at what they're laughing at.

[Shane Gillis]

Totally different. You just reek of Dollar store.

[Mark Normand]

Yeah, you rew drenched.

[Shane Gillis]

Drenched and just totally relieved.

[Mark Normand]

Yo, I hugged a guy this weekend that was drenched.

[Shane Gillis]

Did you really?

[Mark Normand]

Yeah.

[Shane Gillis]

Why was he drenched?

[Mark Normand]

I don't know. He was. Oh, cuz, it was raining. It was raining at the Super Bowl. Before we got in, the guy came. Just came in from outside. I was standing live. He's like, sh.

[Shane Gillis]

I'm a big fan.

[Mark Normand]

I was like, God damn, dude, you're soaked.

[Shane Gillis]

Dude, that Gatorade they dumped on the coach. I was spying that Gatorade. I'm like, dude, they got to give that guy a raise. Whoever's concocting that stuff. That was bright yellow. Yeah, that shit's not watered down at all. No, I was, oh, dude, this made me laugh. Okay, so first things first. The bookstore. I pull up, I was. I was relieved. At the very end of it, there was a bookstore. And I was like, I told you there's a bookstore up here, dude. He's like, yeah, whatever, man. I go into the bookstore. It was the worst layout I've ever seen, where, you know, it was like, in like, like, the Hogwarts Library or any old library, there's, like, giant ladders, and the books are stacked super high. Most of the books were, like, as high as your ceiling, and they're like, you can't get on the ladders. It's like, well, I don't know what's up there. So how could I even ask? It was like. And then they were, like, going over these old, like, antique maps. So anytime I try to get to the other end, they got. They were. I'd be like, excuse me, guys. And they would be like, okay. And then like, move out of the way. And I'm like, bro, what the man trying to buy some books from your store. Anyway, it's pissing me off. But the thing that made me laugh was I was. I'm out there. I forgot my belt this weekend.

[Mark Normand]

Every single. I forgot my belt this week, dude.

[Shane Gillis]

And I was telling the mayor, I had a flashback to when you were in New York, and you just, like, you show me your closet, and there was like, 40 belts.

[Mark Normand]

I remember my.

[Shane Gillis]

Damn. You have so many belts. You're like, I Gotta get a new belt like every week because I forget them. And I remember I told the mayor, I confessed, I was like, bro, that was like the most jealous I've ever gotten. Being like, that's so sick, dude. Just getting that many belts out of necessity.

[Mark Normand]

By the way, I don't even buy the belts I go to. Well, sometimes when I'm on the road, I will have. I have to buy a belt. Yeah, I usually just go home and steal Phil's belts.

[Shane Gillis]

Do you?

[Mark Normand]

Every time I'm home, I steal Phil's belts and then I forget them. I never take them on the road. So then I'm like, I need a belt.

[Shane Gillis]

I was just laughing, being like, dude, that's so sick to have so many belts. And then like. Cuz the one time I had to buy a belt on the road, I was like, dude, it's all happening, bro. I have a belt from traveling.

[Mark Normand]

You made it.

[Shane Gillis]

I thought it was so sick. I thought it was so sick.

[Mark Normand]

It's nothing good. My Milwaukee fit, bro. When I lost, when my luggage got lost, I had to buy a whole new. When I got the vans. Vans T shirt, I had to do that.

[Shane Gillis]

Once I went to Dick's and I bought like golf pants and like a T shirt. That was kind of sick.

[Mark Normand]

Yeah.

[Shane Gillis]

But yeah, I didn't buy a belt. I was bending over on stage and I'm pretty sure like part of my ass crack came out. At one point I was like, apolog, apologies ma'am.

[Mark Normand]

I need a belt on stage because I'm already doing like the fat shirt tug. Yeah, you toss in adjusting pants on top of the fat shirt tug. It's a very active.

[Shane Gillis]

Yeah.

[Mark Normand]

Scene, you know, I mean the guy's constantly.

[Shane Gillis]

I was hands in pocket all weekend. I was very Fallon. I was handsome, pocket classic, classic late night. But I was really kind of just holding up my pants because they were. They kept coming down on me because I, you know, I've lost a couple pounds, bro. I'm out of the 180s. I'm 179.6.

[Mark Normand]

That's good.

[Shane Gillis]

It's pretty sick. I'm doing another fast too. I was hoping five day.

[Mark Normand]

Yes.

[Shane Gillis]

Monday through Friday, first 24 hours dry fast. No water for 24 hours. No food or water. 24 hours and then four day fat water fast with just salt. I'm gonna petition for some electrical. I need like an unflavored electrolyte mix because that, that if you don't eat for a while, you don't like, you lose all Your electrolytes. There you go. There goes our hero. Dude, the gas man.

[Mark Normand]

He's gonna come around, knock in a second, and say, yeah, that thing's leaking like crazy. I'm gonna go, oh, great.

[Shane Gillis]

Things leaking like a sieve. How do they test these? Hold like, a lighter up and see if it flames up?

[Mark Normand]

I have no idea. Obviously not that.

[Shane Gillis]

But sprays. I think they spray some type of soapy mixture and they see where it's bubbling.

[Mark Normand]

If I had a guess, looks something like that.

[Shane Gillis]

Yeah. I mean, I've. Look, I could have. You should have told me. I would have went out.

[Mark Normand]

I had no idea.

[Shane Gillis]

I would have found that.

[Mark Normand]

I mean, I actually knew. All because I'll try to heat it, and it barely heats.

[Shane Gillis]

Yeah.

[Mark Normand]

And that thing, like, backfires. You can hear it like a car, dude.

[Shane Gillis]

I'm telling you, man. What like builders get away with now it's criminal. They. The place across from us in Philly, when we live there, they were like, you know, luxury condominiums and the windows, dude, I'm not lying. Separated from the wall that much. No exaggeration. It was. It was ungodly. And they were like, yeah, we're just. They just won't return our calls. They just throw them up. They just do it as cheap as you possibly can get the. Out of there.

[Mark Normand]

What book did you get?

[Shane Gillis]

Oh, boy. I ended up. I got. I had like, four or five. It was a. It was like a 150 gift certificate.

[Mark Normand]

Nice.

[Shane Gillis]

So I. I, like, got as many as I could possibly bring back without making my luggage too. Too heavy.

[Mark Normand]

Yeah.

[Shane Gillis]

And then just gave like a 60 credit to an old lady. But the. I started with Finnegan's Wake from James Joyce. It's totally indecipherable. It's like. Yeah, but I'm reading J. Joseph Campbell wrote It's Finnegan's Wake Skeleton Key. So I've. I've been in absolute heaven, you know. Joseph Campbell, no hero with a thousand faces. He was like, the one of the first dudes to get, like, real into kind of, like, deciphering myths. Kind of like how Peterson started. He was like. I mean, Carl Young obviously is a goat with it. But Campbell came up and made, like, a really approachable kind of understanding to just, like, myths and, you know, whatever. And he. He's like, going through with his boy, reading Finnegan's Wake and just being like, by the way, this is what he means by this. This is what he means by this. I mean, it's. It's. I've been. I'VE just been absolutely just like, dumbstruck by Joyce's genius. Dude, it's amazing.

[Mark Normand]

Nice.

[Shane Gillis]

It's. Dude, it's crazy.

[Mark Normand]

It's just, like, the only thing he has to declare. Wasn't that him?

[Shane Gillis]

What?

[Mark Normand]

When he got to America, they're like, do you have anything to declare? It was like, my genius, probably.

[Shane Gillis]

I think it sounds like him. He didn't have any money. He was. He spent. Dude, he wrote a book. He, like, you know, obviously, Dubliners, short stories, classic. And he wrote Ulysses. And everyone's like, okay, we're with you. This is kind of a hard read. We're with you. And then he spent, I think, like, 20 years of his life, a third of his life, on Finnegan's Wake. And no one can. It just. He, like, makes up words. It's nonsense. But you have to have, like. It's one of those things where every other sentence is an illusion to, like. It's almost like you have to have, like, have like, a total understanding of, like, Greek mythology because it'll, like, make an illusion. Obviously, Campbell's fucking goat ass is like, oh, by the way. And he just expounds on it. I've just been in absolute fucking heaven, dude.

[Mark Normand]

Really?

[Shane Gillis]

He's like. And then the main character turns back. It's like, dude, it's. No, it's so sick.

[Mark Normand]

You gotta read a book to read a book.

[Shane Gillis]

You gotta. It's gotta read a book to understand that book. No, dude, it's so good, dude. The whole. Again, I have no understanding. I have a pitiful understanding of it. But it's like, the book is about. Finnegan's Wake is about the. I didn't know. It's about the guy who. He's like, an eternal. It's based on, like, an Irish mythological figure who's, like, up on a ladder, falls and dies, and he's coming back to life. That's like the kind of, like, ballad or whatever. But then they like, tie that into, like, the death and resurrection Jesus myth with these four quadrants. You know, they have, like, the Kali Yuga kind of thing where it's, like hard times to make softness, blah, blah, blah. There's a Western version of that where it's basically like, primal stuff, or it's like a theocracy, then a king, then they goes to democracy, and after every democracy, they rise to the top. And every. Literally every civilization. Civilization crumbles. Break time. Time for the gas, man.

[Mark Normand]

Time out for the game.

[Shane Gillis]

Hold on, guys. Okay.

[Mark Normand]

Yeah. For the record, that was Oscar Wilde. Not James.

[Shane Gillis]

That sounded like some Oscar Wilde. I'm being honest. James Joyce. I mean, actually, it's funny because that he kind of could not. He doesn't cover that specifically, but it. So in the book, it's like. It's based on Finnegan's wake, but also the main character is like the. I didn't know. The city of Dublin is like, shaped on a hill that's kind of like resembles an old job. They say like, a giant is sleeping in the ground. That, like, his head's on one side of the city and his feet's on the other side. So he's writing a novel about that guy who's like a giant in the ground. But then he. Somebody's really hard to explain, but he gives forth two sons that are kind of like the classic Canaan. Fourth gives forth.

[Mark Normand]

He gives forth two sons. Hce Talk about books, dude.

[Shane Gillis]

It's so sick. But he has. There's like these two brother figures. So like the. Jesus Christ. I. I have a poor understanding, but basically the guy is not Finnegan's wake. Finnegan's coming back to life. And they go, Finnegan, rest. We have a new father. And then this. It's this guy who's like, apparently also a hill, but who's also a guy. She does something kind of perverted in a park to these. To this young girl. He gets. He gets me too, basically.

[Mark Normand]

What?

[Shane Gillis]

Yeah, he gets me too'd. There's these fucking hot ladies. And it's all about how, like, man is always going to fall to the sniz. That's like the one theme. Like, it's. It's going to happen. Man's going to fall to the sniz. And then dudes were like, getting propelled by these forces that are always going to make us fight each other. Every civilization is going to collapse. And he just kind of just like jumps in and out of, like, time. And it's really cool. Of like, different warriors and these two brothers, Shem and Sean. Shem is like. He's the deep writer type. No one will ever love him.

[Mark Normand]

Yeah.

[Shane Gillis]

But he's the only one connected to the truth. And there's Sean, who's just like, killing it. And they're always fighting and killing each other. It's tight, but. Sorry, that's. It's a. Again, I'm just going off Joseph Campbell's interpretation. Don't. I don't want to.

[Mark Normand]

I don't. Yeah. I don't want to get confused with Joseph Campbell's interpretation. It is interpretations that's all you can.

[Shane Gillis]

Do with Finnegan's wake.

[Mark Normand]

There's nothing else.

[Shane Gillis]

There's all you can do. But that's when I've been reading that at night and just been absolutely in heaven. Just going back and forth between like. Oh, that's what that means. Oh, dude, the thunder fish. I never even thought of the thunder fish. Of course it's awesome.

[Mark Normand]

Of course he means the thunderfish. What is the thunderfish doing?

[Shane Gillis]

It's just like the food of eternal life. It's just like the ixa something.

[Mark Normand]

It's. Yeah, whatever.

[Shane Gillis]

Yeah, the ixus. And then the word for like Latin word for thunder. But it is such a funny move to spend 30 years on a book. And everyone was like, dude, what the. This is.

[Mark Normand]

What are you doing? Sean's talking about the thunder fish. Talking about thunderfish, bro.

[Shane Gillis]

Pause.

[Mark Normand]

Nice.

[Shane Gillis]

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[Mark Normand]

That's so close. That's such a short amount of time.

[Shane Gillis]

It's.

[Mark Normand]

Dude, I would love to spend two minutes from wire cutter. Dude, it's nothing to me.

[Shane Gillis]

Exactly. Dude. You sit down.

[Mark Normand]

Personal. My personal experience on it.

[Shane Gillis]

It's crazy.

[Mark Normand]

Love it.

[Shane Gillis]

Love it, dude. My mom loves.

[Mark Normand]

My mom loves it.

[Shane Gillis]

Mom's got 12 of these in her house.

[Mark Normand]

Yep.

[Shane Gillis]

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[Mark Normand]

You know, I was thinking we were going through the lawyer thing. Yeah. Is that like what marriage feels like?

[Shane Gillis]

They don't even. You don't even talk about that. That's just. That just happened.

[Mark Normand]

Unless it was just like a. It was like we've, you know, we've been friends for a while now. You know, let's make it legal.

[Shane Gillis]

True.

[Mark Normand]

We're legally bonded. I was a little like, oh, this is probably what marriage is like.

[Shane Gillis]

If. Well, if you broach the subject, obviously if you're the ultimate romancer, you'll go. People don't even care about that stuff. But yeah, a lot more guys are starting to be like, look, yeah, let's lay some ground.

[Mark Normand]

Let's work on a bad faith lever here.

[Shane Gillis]

What you want to do is yours, mine and ours. Let's talk about what's yours. Let's talk about what's mine. Let's talk about what's ours. That's if you want to do a prenup.

[Mark Normand]

Guys, introduction and personal. No, that's a good one.

[Shane Gillis]

That's a great. It's a good segue to the next thing.

[Mark Normand]

Host tell a story of a previous Valentine's day date night and struggles to find a tailored fit that leaves a little more room for that steak dinner. Yeah. One time I went for a steak dinner and I struggled to find a tailored fit.

[Shane Gillis]

For sure, man.

[Mark Normand]

And then I went to a steak dinner and I found a true classic. And I said, I'm gonna wear this to the steak dinner.

[Shane Gillis]

Your Valentine's Day goes. Babe, is that a fucking beautiful T shirt for Valentine's Day?

[Mark Normand]

And the true classic tea was. It was good because it accentuated my arms and chest. Oh, dude. My girlfriend was like, yo, your tits look crazy. Your tits look crazy here.

[Shane Gillis]

Yeah, she was dying to cup them, dude.

[Mark Normand]

She.

[Shane Gillis]

Yeah, true classic.

[Mark Normand]

And she said, I'm gonna go up on you. We were at Valentine's day dinner. She said, is that a curved hem crew? It accentuates your massive melons. I'm gonna go up on you after the steak dinner. Best selling T shirts, hoodies, jeans and more are available in three, six and nine packs. The more you bundle, the more you save.

[Shane Gillis]

Oh, my God.

[Mark Normand]

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[Shane Gillis]

Yep. 200, 000 guys. Your girls went. Girls went up on them.

[Mark Normand]

Dude, I'm gonna go up on you. Lay down double ticker.

[Shane Gillis]

I'm doing a bj. Oh, my God.

[Mark Normand]

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[Shane Gillis]

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[Mark Normand]

That's crazy.

[Shane Gillis]

The meta Bag Run your game all season long on Prize Picks, guys. This expires after 2:16, but all star weekend is almost here and Prize Picks is the best place to win cash while watching your favorite players during the game and the Saturday night events like the three point contest.

[Mark Normand]

Love the three point contest.

[Shane Gillis]

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[Mark Normand]

Personally, I've experienced Prize Picks and I enjoy it.

[Shane Gillis]

Yeah, Johnny. I just like getting in. I like, you know. A thousand times, bro.

[Mark Normand]

A thousand times a month.

[Shane Gillis]

Next. No brainer.

[Mark Normand]

Think about that, guys.

[Shane Gillis]

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[Mark Normand]

Run your game. Yes. Plug your show.

[Sean Patton]

Hello everybody. I'll be in Florida. Hello everybody. I'll be in St. Pete.

[Mark Normand]

Petersburg, allegedly.

[Sean Patton]

Florida tonight and tomorrow at Coastal Creative. Please come if you can. Sean gardenia.com thank you.

[Mark Normand]

Of course, brother.

[Shane Gillis]

But yeah, so that's it. I'm not gonna bore you with Finnegan's wake, but that's the only thing I will say. It's been putting me. This is what I like about it's been putting me in a very timeless frame of Mind.

[Mark Normand]

That's the best way outside of time.

[Shane Gillis]

Tillix dimension of depth.

[Mark Normand]

Of course.

[Shane Gillis]

That's how I've been feeling.

[Mark Normand]

You're in Tilix's dimension of depth.

[Shane Gillis]

That's how. That's how I'm feeling lately. So that's been a nice feeling to kind of leave.

[Mark Normand]

I had a feeling. Have you been caught whacking off lately? I know you've been timeless. I know you've just been an ageless wanderer. But have you been caught jacking off in a bathroom?

[Shane Gillis]

I mean, dud like hce. Yes. I was caught it. I was tempted by the sirens in my own mind.

[Mark Normand]

Came and got you.

[Shane Gillis]

I was thunder fish.

[Mark Normand]

Caught you. We're both dealing.

[Shane Gillis]

Yeah. I was caught. I was. But that was last weekend. Bro.

[Mark Normand]

That was the said.

[Shane Gillis]

What are you doing in there? For real?

[Mark Normand]

Man.

[Shane Gillis]

That was so embarrassing. She like, what are you doing in there? And I'm just in the shower with a boner. Just what?

[Mark Normand]

Nothing.

[Shane Gillis]

Nothing's like, I saw what you're doing. I was like, ah, damn it. Now I got caught lying and jerking off. Huh? I'm just the biggest piece of in the world.

[Mark Normand]

I wish. I wish I could tell you I didn't almost get caught yesterday. I wish I could tell you I almost didn't get caught. I had to scamper.

[Shane Gillis]

Did you really?

[Mark Normand]

But she didn't hear the scamper. I survived. Oh.

[Shane Gillis]

You guys.

[Mark Normand]

Camper to the lav. I heard the door open. Scampered.

[Shane Gillis]

So you got the entry.

[Mark Normand]

Got the ski daddle. I heard the door open and I ski daddled on back to the lavatory. Bro.

[Shane Gillis]

It's not like we've been training for that our whole lives.

[Mark Normand]

But it was. I haven't had to skedaddle in so long. Made it to the bathroom. I was like, what?

[Shane Gillis]

Take a. So you didn't get to.

[Mark Normand]

You didn't get that? I didn't get the full release.

[Shane Gillis]

Damn. You probably charged up.

[Mark Normand]

I was like, she's taking a nap. I got. I'm set.

[Shane Gillis]

Oh, yeah.

[Mark Normand]

Of course. Second we started.

[Shane Gillis]

Brother. Welcome to my world.

[Mark Normand]

Thunder fish. Thunderfish flops in the room. And I had to ski on. Daddle down to the lab with my pants at my knees. Ski battle down.

[Shane Gillis]

Expert shuffle.

[Mark Normand]

It's the potato. The sack. Race to the bathroom. What? Cuckoo. I think you scared me.

[Shane Gillis]

Why do I have my phone in my shower? I was answering your email.

[Mark Normand]

Checking my phone.

[Shane Gillis]

Phone in the shower is the most sinister delight. But also so it's just too risky. Phone in the shower. So risky. Unless you got a big shampoo bottle you can pop in front of it. But yeah, man, I've, I've. I don't bring my phone to the show. I used to. There's a period where I was big phone and shower guy and it's just like. I think it's literally taken a couple years off my life. The anxiety. Yeah, I'm just having just the lowest volume just going oh, oh. What the is that just Phone's soaking wet on the sink outside the shower.

[Mark Normand]

The garage at the garage door at my parents house. That was a. That was a godsend.

[Shane Gillis]

That's what you need, man.

[Mark Normand]

We need to bring back garage doors.

[Shane Gillis]

Get this rigged up with an alarm, dude.

[Mark Normand]

Yeah, no, I got it, I got it. Yeah. Do you have the ring camera now?

[Shane Gillis]

Oh, perfect. There you go.

[Mark Normand]

See who's coming and going.

[Shane Gillis]

There you go.

[Mark Normand]

Yep. Why don't you say it?

[Shane Gillis]

Yeah, man, get in here.

[Mark Normand]

Say it into the microphone, bud.

[Shane Gillis]

Yeah, Caught fapping recently.

[Sean Patton]

Not recently, but. You know how every college dorm is like. Yeah, they got. The drains are all clogged because all the kids are. Have you ever heard that old tale? No, but it makes perfect my dorm showers, drains.

[Mark Normand]

Everyone always has that story with your hairy ass.

[Sean Patton]

Well, they say it's because of the come. They say it's good shower drains always clogged with common ass hair. And I was contributing to that clog in my university my freshman year in.

[Shane Gillis]

The common shower area.

[Sean Patton]

In the common shower area. That's where I would have to hurt myself because I had two roommates in my dormitory.

[Shane Gillis]

I don't think I caught a beat in the shower to call. I really don't.

[Sean Patton]

It's really bad. It's like a hospital shower too. It's like the shitty curtains and it's just, you know, like a closet. So it's a sad beat in there. And the, my, my classmates hollered at me while I was hurting myself in the college showers.

[Shane Gillis]

What do you do to the drink? I think we caught someone one time where we used to like while people were showering, we would fuck with them in my freshman dorm and we like one time yank the curtain open and he was just standing there with a full on rager.

[Mark Normand]

We're like, oh yeah, that's what would.

[Sean Patton]

Have happened to me if they were to, if they were to breach. That would have happened to me.

[Shane Gillis]

Yeah, you can't. I mean I've tried to come up with a million arguments for why I'm having a boner in the shower and there's no, it's just your boss.

[Mark Normand]

Warm water felt good. Leave me alive.

[Shane Gillis]

There's also. There's a. There's a. Like a kind of like a noise pattern. If you're beating off in the shower, the water falls in a very specific way.

[Mark Normand]

Yeah.

[Shane Gillis]

You got to try to, like, he's turning that. You got to turn your back to it. But then you're like, well, I want the warmth.

[Mark Normand]

Yeah.

[Shane Gillis]

So I can simulate fellatio. So it's tricky. You gotta watch it because it's like the water falls in, like, little torrential drops. But, yeah. You know, all our brothers, dude. Stay strong out there, dude. Keep it underground. Keep it underground, dude. It's the revolution, dude.

[Mark Normand]

It will not be televised. Occasionally, it almost gets televised. Scamper.

[Shane Gillis]

I told you I spun the last time I got caught into some scxo.

[Mark Normand]

Yes.

[Shane Gillis]

I just fully owned it and was like, bro, I'm getting erotic in here. Excuse me. I'm all worked up, man. Help me out. Help a brother out here. Help a brother out here. I should have done the Uncle Sam yell. What are you doing? Don't do it in there.

[Mark Normand]

Young man must be out your damn mind.

[Shane Gillis]

Your wife will be awake any minute.

[Mark Normand]

You love the super bowl performance.

[Shane Gillis]

I thought it was underwhelming. I really did.

[Mark Normand]

Yeah, it was.

[Shane Gillis]

I. I had. You know, did. I kind of want to see it go poorly. I think there was part of me genuinely, you know, I was hating. I was hating.

[Mark Normand]

Not as much as they were hating.

[Shane Gillis]

They were hating hard.

[Mark Normand]

That was the most hate.

[Shane Gillis]

That was. That was the most hate possible. It was some, really. I see. I didn't understand all the symbology under it. I didn't know.

[Mark Normand]

So deep.

[Shane Gillis]

I didn't know whose exes were there.

[Mark Normand]

The X's were there because it was like a PlayStation and this is a game. Oh, you ever think about that?

[Shane Gillis]

Oh, bro.

[Mark Normand]

His chain was an A minor.

[Shane Gillis]

I was trying to figure out. I thought it was a middle initial. A minor.

[Mark Normand]

Oh.

[Shane Gillis]

Also, actually, kind of technically, it was a lowercase A. A minor is. There's, like, an actual notation for a minor. You can do that.

[Mark Normand]

Oh, really?

[Shane Gillis]

Yeah.

[Mark Normand]

I thought the lowercase a would be the A minor.

[Shane Gillis]

No, there'd be a tiny little M. That's technically a minor. That's just a lowercase A. That's just a little A. But maybe it's even deeper. There's probably some shit I'm not even seeing.

[Mark Normand]

I don't know anything about keys at all.

[Shane Gillis]

Yeah. Or like, secret pedophile hieroglyphs.

[Mark Normand]

The A minor doesn't. Maybe I got that symbology wrong.

[Shane Gillis]

You could be right, though, man. I mean, why else would there be a tiny little A, you know, Checks out. It makes sense to me. But, yeah, I did. I thought that. I don't know. You know what? I was just. It lacked kind of the showmanship. I was like, dude, Ursher, last year. Say what you want about Usher, you know what I mean? Look, the guy's got skeletons. I don't know what happened. I know he, you know, he got in some legal hot water. Hopefully it's not true about potentially giving a man herpes, which, you know. Hope he didn't do that.

[Mark Normand]

Yeah.

[Shane Gillis]

But his performance was great, you know?

[Mark Normand]

Yeah, of course.

[Shane Gillis]

Hershey's performance was crazy. That was just like. Okay. I don't know, it just seemed. It seemed all built around smiting another man. And it was just kind of like, bro, like, it's cool. You know, Winning is great. I'm glad you won. But I don't know, man. I wasn't. It wasn't for me, for sure.

[Mark Normand]

I mean. Yeah, you gotta. You want to play your hits. Yeah. Not. I don't know, because one of the knocks on him is the only time he gets attention is when he's talking.

[Shane Gillis]

About Drake as of late, for sure.

[Mark Normand]

And there it is again. He did it again.

[Shane Gillis]

Yeah.

[Mark Normand]

He got the most attention of his career because.

[Shane Gillis]

But here's what you gotta think about. This is what you gotta think about. And I. I do appreciate Jim Jones for opening my eyes to thinking like, this was he. But, like, what about the bag? What kind of bag was he getting? Because they're coming at Drake for the Super Bowl. Yeah.

[Mark Normand]

He got the free what? Yeah, you get.

[Shane Gillis]

You perform for free.

[Mark Normand]

Yeah. What is zero dollars?

[Shane Gillis]

What the fuck?

[Mark Normand]

Yeah, just.

[Shane Gillis]

I guess it's like, good publicity.

[Mark Normand]

Yeah.

[Shane Gillis]

What. Who pays for all those fucking million dancers?

[Mark Normand]

I mean, I'm sure they cover that. You don't pay for that, but.

[Shane Gillis]

Okay, so be crazy, bro. If I was like, yeah, let me surround myself with eight.

[Mark Normand]

Why am I doing the fact checking? Come on, man.

[Shane Gillis]

So if I had to fit the bill for 800 male dancers, that's crazy. He had a lot of bros. It was just the bros, dude. That was another guy.

[Mark Normand]

He's dancing.

[Shane Gillis]

I'm gonna need 800 male dancers.

[Mark Normand]

I like tough dancing.

[Shane Gillis]

Me, too.

[Mark Normand]

I like when people are mad. Dance.

[Shane Gillis]

I got a little scared. I was like.

[Mark Normand]

I was spooked out. I'm scared of that. I was very scared during the performance.

[Shane Gillis]

It's classic that was a Philip Ross one book. He got it there. The old professor does that, like, accidentally. He's like saying, a ghost.

[Mark Normand]

Yeah.

[Shane Gillis]

He's like, I feel like there's a spook in here. And the students like, hey. And they fire him off the canvas. But the professor's secretly half black and he's been hiding in his whole life. We could talk lit, dude, all you want.

[Mark Normand]

I would love to talk lit, but.

[Shane Gillis]

Yeah, dude, that was. Yeah, it was just kind of boring. It was just like, all right, this is. You know, it did take him to new heights. Him, like, besting Drake in a. You know, an exchange of words did take him to new heights, but it's.

[Mark Normand]

Like, what's going on, Sean? Did you find out the information?

[Sean Patton]

He got a bag, but he got a baby bag. He gets the standard union rate, which is a thousand dollars per day for rehearsal and performance.

[Shane Gillis]

Baby bag.

[Sean Patton]

He got a baby bag.

[Mark Normand]

He got a little bag. Yeah, he got a little. He got a fanny pack.

[Shane Gillis]

Well, dude, Jim Jones might have had the best take on the Drake loss. And his whole thing is so funny, him and Cameron beefing, but he went on a podcast with. I swear to God, it was the best take of the Drake lawsuit stuff how he's suing, like, UMG or whatever.

[Mark Normand]

United.

[Shane Gillis]

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

[Mark Normand]

Universal.

[Shane Gillis]

Universal, yeah, that's what it is. Universal Music Group. And this guy was like, yeah, dude. It's like, against the code, though. Like, he's going against the code of hip hop. And Jim Jones was like, dude, Drake's going after a bag you cannot comprehend. Basically. You know, he was basically saying that he's going after the. You know, it's. It is slightly Kanye. Ask you. He's going after the dudes who have given us all these raw deals, the labels who have been lording over us, the culture. And he's going at, like, the eye of the fucking hornet's nest and getting. He was like, I mean, he's probably going to get a billion dollars in this lawsuit. It's like, no, he's not.

[Mark Normand]

He's gonna get a lot.

[Shane Gillis]

You think he'll get it?

[Mark Normand]

I think he'll get a lot, yeah. I mean, if. From what I've been told, it's like they were trying to lower his stock, so his next deal wasn't as big as the last couple have been. He's with them. He's with Universal.

[Shane Gillis]

That's their. Well and their things. Like, why would we want to.

[Mark Normand]

The last deal was, like, 400 million.

[Shane Gillis]

Yeah, true.

[Mark Normand]

So.

[Shane Gillis]

Well, that's What? Jim Jones. It was the funniest take. He's like, bro, he's going after a bag, and he's like, you can't say anything about Drake if you want to still hang with your bros in the hood who are, like, falling off of buses and getting lawsuits. He's like, all. He's like, you can't say that. Drake's taking it to the next workman comps.

[Mark Normand]

Bros. Yes, we got a couple of those.

[Shane Gillis]

Bros. That's what he was saying. He was like, bro, there's nothing. There's nothing more gully than, like, pretending to hurt your neck on a bus. That was his whole. That. That was his whole thing. And, like, Drake's hurting his neck on the biggest bus imaginable, and it's actually sick as fuck, dude. Jim Jones. That was absolutely.

[Mark Normand]

I could be wrong, but I think Kendrick went through the Tupac estate to sue Drake first.

[Shane Gillis]

Did he really?

[Mark Normand]

But no one cares.

[Shane Gillis]

Wait, what Tupac estate?

[Mark Normand]

They. Drake had, like, a diss track with, like, AI Tupac, right? And that got taken down because of a lawsuit for sure.

[Shane Gillis]

Oh. He was like, you can't use the ghost of Tupac beef. He's like, that's outside of the rules.

[Mark Normand]

So Kendrick did a. Kendrick did it.

[Shane Gillis]

He did a lawsuit first.

[Mark Normand]

No one cares.

[Shane Gillis]

Hold on. So they were in court. There was, like, guys in court battling over Ghost Tupac.

[Mark Normand]

Yes.

[Shane Gillis]

And, like, Ghost Tupac called. My defendant wouldn't have said that. Your honor. Tupac might still be alive, actually. Oh.

[Mark Normand]

Black Jerry.

[Shane Gillis]

But, yeah, he basically broke down the thing of being like, stop trying to act like he's. He's offending some code of the streets. He's like, bro, like, this is. He's getting the biggest bag. And he was like, your problem is you can't see the bag. Like, the bag. He was saying, like, the bag exists out of this guy's entire frame.

[Mark Normand]

Different dimension. You can't. So square.

[Shane Gillis]

Sick dude.

[Mark Normand]

He's not a near. Yeah.

[Shane Gillis]

To hit him with the Met, be like, bro, your bags. You can only imagine such a bag.

[Mark Normand]

He's like, meta bag.

[Shane Gillis]

He's like, Drake is on a bag that you can't. Just getting deep on the bag is so sick.

[Mark Normand]

Can't fathom this, man.

[Shane Gillis]

But yeah, that. That was my whole. That was my personal take on the Super Bowl.

[Mark Normand]

Should have been Lil Wayne.

[Shane Gillis]

It should have been Lil Wayne. And then also the whole craze of, like, the. You know, this. This whole, like, battle thing. I feel like it really. The sun set on it.

[Mark Normand]

It's almost been a year. Forever. It's been like eight months. That was a year ago when he sued him. Jesus Christ.

[Shane Gillis]

April what? 2024. Damn.

[Mark Normand]

But that was. Yeah. So it probably started last April.

[Shane Gillis]

I was just hoping you'd say 420.

[Mark Normand]

Yeah. But. Yeah, dude, that's been a year.

[Shane Gillis]

God damn. I feel like that was like three months ago.

[Mark Normand]

No, this is. This has lasted longer than the Will Smith slap.

[Shane Gillis]

He needs to do it again. He's. He's going back. I think he needs to slap again.

[Mark Normand]

Slap somebody.

[Shane Gillis]

He needs to slap that Indian guy. How could he slap?

[Mark Normand]

How could he slap?

[Shane Gillis]

Yeah, man. I. Yeah. People were trying to make the Taylor Swift.

[Mark Normand]

Boo.

[Shane Gillis]

Into like this whole, like sea change of like. The people are waking up, dude. They know they don't like this. So you're telling me it was just a chance. She was wearing Chief people.

[Mark Normand]

Yeah. Chiefs fan. It was all Eagles fans. So at the beginning of the game, of course everyone's gonna be like, yeah, yeah.

[Shane Gillis]

And there was also like. She was. People were like, she's ruining football.

[Mark Normand]

Before she was on. They were literally showing a Chiefs fan. Showing an Eagles fan. Boo. Anytime it was a Chiefs fan. Was there that many were an Eagles fan.

[Shane Gillis]

So many Eagles people there.

[Mark Normand]

It was. It felt like there was more Eagles fans. And there's one thing I noticed. The Chiefs fans are like all old fat white guys.

[Shane Gillis]

Yeah.

[Mark Normand]

They're all just chubby white guys from fucking Kansas and Missouri.

[Shane Gillis]

Yeah.

[Mark Normand]

That have. This is the third one in a row they've been to.

[Shane Gillis]

Yeah.

[Mark Normand]

So they didn't, like, they didn't. They didn't care.

[Shane Gillis]

Didn't have the fire in their bellies.

[Mark Normand]

Eagles fans are all fucking trash. Gremlins that were there, like, needed it.

[Shane Gillis]

Yeah.

[Mark Normand]

Birds, like everyone was. Yeah. Everywhere you looked, it was Eagles fans.

[Shane Gillis]

That's also a weird pressure. If you've won two Super Bowls in a row. I'd be up being like. Because then it's like there's no way you're not laxing and kind of like chilling. That's just. There's no way.

[Mark Normand]

There's no doubt. They lamps.

[Shane Gillis]

Yeah, exactly.

[Mark Normand]

They were lamping.

[Shane Gillis]

Why though? I mean, it makes sense. You're two times.

[Mark Normand]

I mean, I guess they made it to the super bowl, so I guess they weren't relaxing too hard. Yeah, it's pretty hard to do.

[Shane Gillis]

That's true.

[Mark Normand]

They just got there and couldn't protect the quarterback.

[Shane Gillis]

Dude. You know, they didn't blitz either. The Eagle. It was a four man rush, bro.

[Mark Normand]

Four man rush.

[Shane Gillis]

I. That Blew my mind when I found out they didn't blitz, I was like, wait, what?

[Mark Normand]

Yeah. I mean, the Chiefs also throw the ball every down. Yeah. Your defensive line knows they can pass rush every play. And then when you get. When they're down 17, it's like they're going to be throwing the wall.

[Shane Gillis]

Yeah.

[Mark Normand]

Just send. Just send four.

[Shane Gillis]

Is there offensive line that. I mean, I'm not trying to smite their offensive line, but like, bro, they got like. What happened? I don't know, because they're so good. That's the whole time I was like, dude, Mahomes is good. If you put him down, he's nasty as fuck. But they were just, like, melting right through.

[Mark Normand]

It was wonderful.

[Shane Gillis]

It was truly beautiful. Truly a sight.

[Mark Normand]

Yeah.

[Shane Gillis]

Poor read, though.

[Mark Normand]

Went to the. I went to the after party.

[Shane Gillis]

Did you really?

[Mark Normand]

I got to hold the trophy. It was crazy.

[Shane Gillis]

Did you raise it?

[Mark Normand]

No, I was just like. Yeah. I didn't really take it in. I was just like, yeah. Yeah. It's lighter than I thought it'd be. I felt. I felt like a real imposter.

[Shane Gillis]

Why?

[Mark Normand]

I don't know. What the am I doing holding those super bowl trophies everywhere I go? I feel like a imposter. And that was crazy.

[Shane Gillis]

Yeah. That is nuts.

[Mark Normand]

Yeah.

[Shane Gillis]

Holding it that. I mean, that is sick.

[Mark Normand]

It was awesome.

[Shane Gillis]

That's fully the aggro, Craig. Dude, you held the Eggo, Craig. What was it? I guess the party must have been sick, though.

[Mark Normand]

Party was awesome.

[Shane Gillis]

Champagne bot. Did champagne bottles actually shoot in the air or was it. That was.

[Mark Normand]

I think that's the locker room, but they probably did. I. I left before. I think things got real crazy, dude.

[Shane Gillis]

And that. That coach. Where did he coach before? The guy for the Eagles, Sirianni, I.

[Mark Normand]

Think it was with the Colts. I think it was like an offensive quarter, I think.

[Shane Gillis]

And how long has he been there for the Eagles?

[Mark Normand]

This is year three, dude.

[Shane Gillis]

Two super bowl appearances, one win.

[Mark Normand]

Yeah. They have to stop talking shit.

[Shane Gillis]

Yeah. Dude. Reed.

[Mark Normand]

Yeah. He was an IUP guy. He coached it.

[Shane Gillis]

Really?

[Mark Normand]

Yeah.

[Shane Gillis]

Really?

[Mark Normand]

Yeah. I think there's, like, three guys on the staff that were from iup.

[Shane Gillis]

That's crazy.

[Mark Normand]

Yeah.

[Shane Gillis]

Good for him, man. That's got to be crazy. I liked watching when the Gatorade got poured on him and you could tell he was, like, soaking wet with Gatorade. At one point, he did like, a little, like, kind of prayer thing. It was just like, oh, it's like, bro. That's all they want, bro.

[Mark Normand]

Weak after the end. Last season ended in complete disaster. They were 10 and 1 and then lost every game.

[Shane Gillis]

Yeah.

[Mark Normand]

And then this year, they started out 2 and 2 with some bad losses, and people were starting to really get on him and be like, we're gonna have to fire him. So, like, for the next, like, four weeks, maybe five, everyone was just waiting for him to lose one game, and he would probably have been close.

[Shane Gillis]

You get fired that fast. Yeah, I guess if you have, like. Yeah, I guess there's a world of coaches, and you can just be like, all right, buddy, get out.

[Mark Normand]

Especially because he inherited a very good team and went straight to the super bowl his first year. And when coaches do that, they usually don't get credit for that.

[Shane Gillis]

I got you. That makes sense. So he had had somewhat of a building year the year after that, and.

[Mark Normand]

Then the year after was like, all right, let's see what he does. And they exploded.

[Shane Gillis]

Yeah.

[Mark Normand]

Terrible. Yeah. So then, yeah, he was on the hot seat a little. Then he.

[Shane Gillis]

He's good.

[Mark Normand]

He's the bro.

[Shane Gillis]

Do you think there's a chance they'll go. They're the new Chiefs, that they'll go back and try to get it again?

[Mark Normand]

I do, Yeah. I think there's a strong chance. They get a lot of guys back.

[Shane Gillis]

That's what they say. They're not. They're not losing anybody, are they?

[Mark Normand]

They're going to lose some. Some key defensive pieces.

[Shane Gillis]

Okay.

[Mark Normand]

But I hope maybe they won't lose them. They're just up for free agency.

[Shane Gillis]

Okay.

[Mark Normand]

Contracts, I think should be all right.

[Shane Gillis]

They might be the most hateable dynasty, though. Philly becomes, like, a Chiefs era chief.

[Mark Normand]

Oh, my God, dude, be the funniest.

[Shane Gillis]

Philadelphia is going to look like Aleppo.

[Mark Normand]

Philadelphia is going to be bad, dude.

[Shane Gillis]

They got to stop destroying.

[Mark Normand]

I was jealous. I was jealous. I. I mean, even being at the super bowl was obviously where you want to be, but Philly would have been fun.

[Shane Gillis]

So fun to be there. Although, dude, I'm telling you, last time when I was there, when they. I was like, right on Broad street, my house was, like, two blocks away. It was too much, man. I'm, like, just watching people to start wrecking. I was just like, this is annoying. It was pissing me off. They got to stop breaking the city.

[Mark Normand]

Sometimes you gotta.

[Shane Gillis]

Dude, they were, like, flipping cars. It's crazy.

[Mark Normand]

How else are you gonna make an omelette?

[Shane Gillis]

That's true.

[Mark Normand]

You have to break a couple eggs here.

[Shane Gillis]

That's true. Although, I mean, that is just part and parcel, man. Otherwise, yeah, you are just Chiefs fans. Just like, oh, we'll get them next year. Yeah, true. You gotta believe. If you bleed green, you believe green. It is what it is.

[Mark Normand]

There's nothing we can do about it.

[Shane Gillis]

But. Well, the worst part is now they're like, now it's like, it's something that gets attention online. So now people are like, yes, we gotta. We gotta ramp this up even more. I'm gonna break a window. Don't do it.

[Mark Normand]

I'm gonna go viral. Committing a crime. It's gonna be my face. I'm gonna share it.

[Shane Gillis]

But yeah, that was, you know, I think that was. I'll be excited to see what Kendrick Lamar does because he seems like he'll be pretty content to just kind of fade out and be like, I won.

[Mark Normand]

He goes away for a while. Yeah, most of the time.

[Shane Gillis]

That's going to be it, man.

[Mark Normand]

It better not be. That's kind of a lame ass.

[Shane Gillis]

No. That's beating the video game. I'm done. Bye. Sorry.

[Mark Normand]

No rematch. That's it. I called it. No rematch. Yeah, I don't know. That's kind of like if you want to be the best ever. If you're.

[Shane Gillis]

Yeah.

[Mark Normand]

If your one thing is beating a guy in a rap battle and then going, I'm done.

[Shane Gillis]

To be fair, he did have. He did have. Like, a lot of people liked him. I was always kind of. I was always like, man, you know, I didn't. It just wasn't for me.

[Mark Normand]

So good.

[Shane Gillis]

I mean, he's great, of course, he's a super successful, talented guy. But it was just. I was always like, whatever. And then. But then I didn't realize he'd been away for so long. And then I guess he came back. He was summoned back. And then it's for him. That is sweet to be kind of chilling. Like, I don't know. Then just like, oh, yep, yeah, top of the game. But it all happened, dude. It was funny because, like, Little Wayne was like, remember when he. Him and Nicki Minaj were like, they were like the biggest. And Drake and. Well then Drake was like launched out of that. But yeah, maybe there's room for. There's going to be a new. The newest rappers to become the biggest are going. It's dude rap so bad. Like, I'm not trying to sound like an old guy. It's literally like, it's a minute and a half songs of just nonsense. I can't understand.

[Mark Normand]

I was, I was watching videos of. I never got to see the halftime performance.

[Shane Gillis]

Okay.

[Mark Normand]

I was, I was making my way up to Trump Dog Suite. So sick. But I didn't get to see the performance. We just watched it right now. And I was like. I was only seeing videos online of, like, old guys that were watching the super bowl getting filmed by their, like, grandkids that were like, the hell is he saying? I don't know what the hell is going on? Like, And I'm. I watched that thing. I was like, I haven't understood. Understood one word.

[Shane Gillis]

Yeah.

[Mark Normand]

And I know the songs.

[Shane Gillis]

Yeah. Yeah, dude. I don't know. It wasn't. I. This is something I've been thinking about for a long time as, like, again, this. I don't even. It's, like. Sounds like a very uncomfortable thing to even talk about. But as, like, the country gets better in terms of race relations, will black guys lose cool points? And I. I think it could just be me trying to fulfill my own theory, but I. I think it's happening. That was, like, this theory for. Yeah.

[Mark Normand]

Since the old test.

[Shane Gillis]

Yeah, true.

[Mark Normand]

This has been my working theory, and now I'm just sitting back and watching it play out.

[Shane Gillis]

It's your theory of relativity.

[Mark Normand]

It is, dude. You can't be.

[Shane Gillis]

Dude. And it's like, I'm watching it. I'm like, yeah, dude. It's losing. Like, it's not. It's. It's not like, the stuff of, like, a charged counterculture.

[Mark Normand]

It's been fever pitch. And then since then, it's been kind of like, yeah, we're still doing this.

[Shane Gillis]

Yeah. But no, that's. That was. That was a sense I got off that. I'm like, oh, this is like, you know, like the revolution sponsored by Pepsi.

[Mark Normand]

Yeah.

[Shane Gillis]

You're kind of like, all right. This has been so watered down and extorted by politicians that now it's just kind of like, all right. It just has literally zero effect.

[Mark Normand]

You watch and you're like, oh, cool, man.

[Shane Gillis]

So. And then, you know, again, we had our first taste of Indian guys wilding out. It's like, there's more of that to come.

[Mark Normand]

Yeah.

[Shane Gillis]

It's almost Ramaswamy. Anakin's hard, dude. He fell into love. But those boys are not.

[Mark Normand]

Yeah, yeah.

[Shane Gillis]

There's more Ramaswamis, bro. That guy. That dude was. But he just first made it on the land and swung his.

[Mark Normand]

That was D Day. He went first. There's a lot more coming, dude.

[Shane Gillis]

No shortage.

[Mark Normand]

I kind of like a lot of it, though.

[Shane Gillis]

The Indian bros.

[Mark Normand]

The Indian bros, bro.

[Shane Gillis]

Been a fan.

[Mark Normand]

Oh, yeah. You.

[Shane Gillis]

You guys been a fan when I. When I. When you were gone, I interviewed Sagar from Breaking Points. And I tried to just get into Hindu with he. Dude, they are not having it. There's an iron wall. They are keeping white stoners out of Hinduism talk, dude. I was like, what about? He's like, I hate when white guys talk to me about it.

[Mark Normand]

Really?

[Shane Gillis]

I'm like, that's pretty cool. That's a pretty cool religion, dude. I mean, you know, it's not just all about.

[Mark Normand]

I think we're the only ones that get crushed for, like, that. Like, that.

[Shane Gillis]

I don't know, dude.

[Mark Normand]

Like, if an Indian guy came up, was like, tell me about Jesus Christ, I'd be like, bro, I'll be more than happy. What do you want to know?

[Shane Gillis]

Well, that's because we have a universal, you know, Catholic land. We are built for everybody.

[Mark Normand]

Yeah.

[Shane Gillis]

Hinduism is. Is. It's like an ethnic religion.

[Mark Normand]

Yeah, yeah.

[Shane Gillis]

Like, it's not like. And he was. He made a fair point. He's like, dude, it's so. He's like, depending on, like, what area you live in, there's like a patron. You know, they have their patron blue guy. They have their genie. And then, like, you know, it's all based on, like. He's like, it's so hyper specific to, like, the area and where you're living. It's. You got to be born into it. It's like. It's like Judaism in a way, where you kind of have to be born into it. Otherwise people will be like, they just take you as kind of a poser. He kind of. He kind of poser. Paused me, and I was like, I just think it's cool. Like, theoretically, I think it's cool.

[Mark Normand]

Yeah. Why not? You should be allowed to learn.

[Shane Gillis]

I mean, he has only from learning. Yeah, but I was trying to. I was trying to. I just wanted to. Like, I'm just interested in it as like a, you know, like. Like growing up with that as, like your backdrop. And he. He just was. Shut it down. He was just like, I. I don't.

[Mark Normand]

I think when you grow up with it, it's just like every eight or nine weeks, you and all your bros have to get sticks and swords and fight the Muslim guys with sticks and swords in the street. And then you call it a day, and then you go, all right, buddy, buddy, buddy, buddy. Have you ever seen their fucking stick and sword fights? They all have ninja turtle weapons. And they just.

[Shane Gillis]

It's truly Lord of the fly.

[Mark Normand]

Crazy, bro.

[Shane Gillis]

It's Lord of the Fly.

[Mark Normand]

It's nuts.

[Shane Gillis]

That's the same thing with the. The Sino Indian border dispute. They the same thing. They have another stick. There's a whole other stick battlefront. Yeah, they, like, they've been disputing the Chinese Indian border for, like, decades. And every now and again, the Chinese dudes will mog and be, like, 5ft tall. But get back, get back.

[Mark Normand]

They have the stick fight.

[Shane Gillis]

God, that's the funniest thing in the world.

[Mark Normand]

Sucking. Hitting the face with a stick during the fight.

[Shane Gillis]

And you got to give up, like, four feet of mother India. Okay. Coming back would be sick, though. You get the bros. You're all horny as hell. Although that's a horny B. Horny.

[Mark Normand]

This is the horniest battle.

[Shane Gillis]

But, yeah, rest assured, the Indian dudes will be back.

[Mark Normand]

Dude.

[Shane Gillis]

Yep. I mean, Ramaswamy, I still. People spazzed and piled on him for that. And it's like, I get it. Like, getting dressed down, just being like, no more fun white guys. It's time to do math. Is like, I get it.

[Mark Normand]

Yeah.

[Shane Gillis]

But people were, like, deeply shocked and offended. And it's like that. That's the one that does make me laugh. When you have all these people who are like. You have, like, white Americans who are like, it's a meritocracy. Sorry, everybody else. We got to the top. And as soon as you talk about Indian guys coming in, you're like, we need some legislation to keep.

[Mark Normand]

Let's look.

[Shane Gillis]

Come on, let's look at this. Here it is.

[Mark Normand]

That is kind of also.

[Shane Gillis]

It's kind of wimpy on.

[Mark Normand]

Some white people have been dying to be allowed to be racist.

[Shane Gillis]

True, true. That is like a Diet Coke kind of racism.

[Mark Normand]

Yeah. They go, what about Indian people? And everyone goes, are we allowed? Are we allowed to do this?

[Shane Gillis]

That was bottled up. Yeah, true. Because.

[Mark Normand]

Yeah.

[Shane Gillis]

You really. They. The Indian guys. Ramaswamy did. You're actually right on that. He caught, like, a suppressed tidal wave of just kind of like just, you know.

[Mark Normand]

Yeah.

[Shane Gillis]

Ethocentric thoughts being like, we're gonna. People spazzed on him. He did. Here's the thing, though. He did court that. He did court those guys.

[Mark Normand]

He did.

[Shane Gillis]

So he. He basically had his own little thing going. And, you know, they just got him, bro. One. One slip up. And they were like, you.

[Mark Normand]

It's a dangerous world.

[Shane Gillis]

It is.

[Mark Normand]

If you get into that political clickbait.

[Shane Gillis]

Oh, yeah.

[Mark Normand]

They're gonna get you left or right.

[Shane Gillis]

It's coming. It's coming. And it's so funny because it was like, I could see him being like, this is a deeply inspiring. And, dude, it's. He could also Be right. Like, that's because you're like, you dude. Doesn't mean that's not just going to happen.

[Mark Normand]

Anyway, wasn't he like, no more sleepovers? Yeah, time to study.

[Shane Gillis]

No more sleepovers. No more. He said less of one movie. Like, think of like some like a rollerblading silly movie. And, like, more. I don't know what movie he would propose for us to get our act together. White guys got to pull their pants up. White guys. White guys's pants are up to here. Indie guys's pants are up to, like, their nipples. So we might have to pull our pants meters.

[Mark Normand]

Indians are top of the pants. Where would you rank the Chinese? They're. They're close second.

[Shane Gillis]

They're close second. Or they can probably. They probably go like every inch or every year. They probably like. They're. It depends on how they're doing. How many of them are doctors. Like, if they lose doctors and their pants drop a little bit.

[Mark Normand]

But no, you're not wrong about that. Indian. Indian waistline is the ribs.

[Shane Gillis]

We. We've been top of the pops in terms of pants height. Now, like, you know, we're getting told to pull our pants off and we're like, hey, buddy, this is. Don't worry about our culture, dude. We got some shit going on.

[Mark Normand]

This is family business, dude. Don't worry about our pants.

[Shane Gillis]

I know, it was so funny. But that's the question remains. Do white people need to pull their pants up? Because they could compete in a global marketplace, which it just seems like we got a yanker pants. We might have to pull our pants. We thought we were getting by with our pants to our waist.

[Mark Normand]

Sometimes you. When the whites pull their pants up too high, though.

[Shane Gillis]

True.

[Mark Normand]

Because those boys had some pretty high pants over in Deutschland.

[Shane Gillis]

Kanye pulled his pants up.

[Mark Normand]

Pulled his pants up to the moon. Kanye's pants are in the strategy. Pulled his pants up too much. You gotta pull your pants down a little, bro.

[Shane Gillis]

I didn't. I didn't know he did a Super bowl commercial.

[Mark Normand]

First of all, I didn't either.

[Shane Gillis]

And then I. Did you see it? And then I checked his website. It was literally just the SWAS.

[Mark Normand]

SWAS T shirt.

[Shane Gillis]

HH3 or something, bro. He went nuts.

[Mark Normand]

It's been a good read Twitter page as long. It's a great read.

[Shane Gillis]

The Twitter. The Twitter rants were pretty great.

[Mark Normand]

All caps. Sometimes you need to slap a. Or something like that.

[Shane Gillis]

No, he says, I have. For the record, I have hit women.

[Mark Normand]

Yeah.

[Shane Gillis]

And then the one of them was in all caps. Like, you guys Think I'm freaking out. I'm actually over here chilling. It's like, bro, you're tweeting in all caps. You're not chilling unless he's on some. Like, this is the new marketing wave. I could see him going like genius mode in his head, being like, this is just a new millennia, dude. He's like, you know, big. I'm puppeting people through their nervous systems. Although he does see he has came out on the record, been like, dude, I really don't like Jews. So he was. He really clarified his feelings pretty hard. So. And he like, seemed to chill a little bit. And he just like chilled for. Fired the engine for nearly a year. Yeah. Then he was like, you know what, man?

[Mark Normand]

Sometimes you gotta pop out show.

[Shane Gillis]

That's been a funny. That's been a funny. And then there was a guy who he's like, I'm burning 25, 000 worth of easy shoes. And it's like, first of all, dude, that's the most laughable. If you zoom out of that from another country, you're like, okay, this guy said he loves Hitler, so now this Guy's gonna burn 25, 000 worth of sneakers. It's like, stop pretending you guys have problems, dude. Yeah, that's like the dumb. That's like for real. It was like embarrassing to watch that. Like, let's all unite and burn these 700 sneakers. It's like, dude, what, what battle are you guys even.

[Mark Normand]

Seems like you're trying to make it about you at that point.

[Shane Gillis]

Yeah.

[Mark Normand]

Hey, everyone, there's a blowtorch. I'm about to go viral right now.

[Shane Gillis]

With a blowtorch in a fire safe environment.

[Mark Normand]

I need to go viral now and then after.

[Shane Gillis]

The comments are so it's like, you already. You already gave him your money, dumbass. He's paid, bro.

[Mark Normand]

How they could be securing a bag that no one on earth can see?

[Shane Gillis]

That's what I'm saying. Once, dude, now that Jim Jones opened my eyes at the metabol, I wonder.

[Mark Normand]

How his swastika T shirt sold. That's the data I've been told. Good.

[Shane Gillis]

Really?

[Sean Patton]

I'll check it out. Did you guys see the actual commercial, though? It's pretty funny. It's him just on his iPhone again and he's going, I blew all the money I was supposed to spend on the commercial on these new grills. So this is the commercial. And then it just goes yeezy.com or whatever. And it's just him and like a dentist like doing a front facing selfie video.

[Shane Gillis]

Oh, yeah. Well, apparently there's a connection with this dentist and the nitrous and shit.

[Mark Normand]

Oh, yeah.

[Shane Gillis]

He might be going off the. No, he might be going off the galaxy.

[Mark Normand]

Yes. Who knows?

[Shane Gillis]

I mean, dude, if you. But then, like, if you zoom all the way out on it and it's obviously. Again, he's like, I get it. If he's. If he's, like, full on swastikas, I get why people are bristled by this other. He's prickling people for sure. If you zoom out, he might be on just some other of, like, we should really not worry about what anyone says. But then it's like, I don't know. Could be a giant performance art piece. That's my whole thing.

[Sean Patton]

It seems like they took his site down 24 hours ago.

[Shane Gillis]

Yeah, I checked. I tried to check it the other day. It was gone. My shopping cart. They're like, you have a notification.

[Mark Normand]

I still have seven in my shopping cart. I was getting one for everyone I.

[Shane Gillis]

Know just for the fam, of course. My mom's birthday's coming up. I figured I'd give her a Yeezy swastika shirt.

[Mark Normand]

Yeah, I want to get my mom a swastika T shirt.

[Shane Gillis]

It is funny, because at any point, he can just be like, guys, I'm so sorry. I don't know what I was thinking. Everybody, that's fine. You're good.

[Mark Normand]

You're the man.

[Shane Gillis]

You're the man. He needs to drop an album. The album has to be good.

[Mark Normand]

It's gonna be tough to make music with that lingering.

[Shane Gillis]

I mean, has anyone ever made Nazi rap?

[Mark Normand]

No.

[Shane Gillis]

I don't know. It's crazy. He made a gospel album two years ago. Now he's selling Hitler shirts. It's crazy, dude.

[Mark Normand]

He might be just. I think it's pretty.

[Shane Gillis]

But then how did he become a billionaire again? Is that even. Didn't he get put out in, like, Forbes list of, like, he's now has, like, $3 billion again or something?

[Mark Normand]

Maybe they unfroze all his accounts.

[Shane Gillis]

True.

[Mark Normand]

Gotcha.

[Shane Gillis]

That's a cr. Well, dude, here's what. Here's what. Look, I don't give anyone business advice, but if. If you know your accounts get unfrozen, last thing you want to do is do swastika.

[Mark Normand]

I mean, the funny thing is, he was like. He did all that. Got everything frozen, and he was like, all right, I'm good. I'm good. Sorry about that. They go, all right, here's all your money back. He said, I'm you guys, I'm about.

[Shane Gillis]

It's crazy. It is still.

[Mark Normand]

Still a goat. Yeah.

[Shane Gillis]

I mean, dude, it's still the goat, dude.

[Mark Normand]

I'm sorry.

[Shane Gillis]

He's. His Twitter's funny as. And he hasn't got kicked off of Twitter yet. Right.

[Mark Normand]

I don't exactly think.

[Shane Gillis]

Well, dude, it does. I mean, again, it is like, I. I get. Totally get why people are upset, but it does beg the question, like, might we have to be all become big boys and girls about words and just be like, okay, this guy's popping off on some crazy. You know what I mean? Because. But then again, it's like, is. Or people so dumb that if you start doing that, people will go up and just be like, yeah, we are Nazis.

[Mark Normand]

Yeah, there's that.

[Shane Gillis]

There's that. I think people are pretty dumb. So people could see the green light.

[Mark Normand]

And be like, okay, for sure.

[Shane Gillis]

But they can also do that.

[Mark Normand]

But that's also the green light to just also pop off on the Internet. For the most part. Yeah, true. I don't know. It's wild.

[Shane Gillis]

It is a wild dude.

[Mark Normand]

It's a tough one to comprehend.

[Shane Gillis]

How did he even get that far? Well, I guess you.

[Mark Normand]

They can't maybe it's the most simple thing ever to comprehend. There's a guy saying he loves Hitler. You go, shut up.

[Shane Gillis]

Exactly.

[Mark Normand]

Hitler was gay.

[Shane Gillis]

Yeah, true. No one's taking that angle. Yeah. It's just. That's the thing. I'm kind of. Yeah, I guess that's kind of what I'm saying. It's like.

[Mark Normand]

Like when I was listening to that Hitler book every day. Yeah, you listen to it. You go, this guy sucked, dick.

[Shane Gillis]

Yeah.

[Mark Normand]

Like, there's this whole, like, thing online where they're like, he was actually cool as. I don't know if you really look into it. It's like he sucked. Yeah, he was really look into it.

[Shane Gillis]

He was truly a baby.

[Mark Normand]

He was. Yeah.

[Shane Gillis]

Big time baby. The Nazi swastika is backwards from the original Hindu one.

[Mark Normand]

Yeah.

[Shane Gillis]

And they say when you turn the swastika backwards from the original Hindu one, it's a sign of bad luck.

[Mark Normand]

Certainly was.

[Shane Gillis]

He hexed himself.

[Mark Normand]

Certainly was bad luck.

[Shane Gillis]

Yeah, dude, that's what happens. He harnessed the power. It was just too great. Completely destroyed the man.

[Mark Normand]

Actually have to whiz.

[Shane Gillis]

Yeah, whiz.

[Mark Normand]

Let's take our Nintieth break. All right, well, let's go straight to the Patreon.

[Shane Gillis]

Bye.

[Mark Normand]

Goodbye.