Ep 551 - BullDoggin' (feat. Nate Marshall)

Summary

Episode Summary: Ep 551 - BullDoggin' (feat. Nate Marshall)

Podcast Information:

• Title: Matt and Shane's Secret Podcast
• Hosts: Matt McCusker & Shane Gillis
• Feature: Nate Marshall
• Release Date: March 18, 2025
• Description: Grab onto this fast-moving train and witness two comedians rise to victory and splendor. This is easily the funniest podcast out there. The rest are pretty meh.

---

1. Swastika Mention in "White Lotus" and Dog Whistles [00:00 - 04:07]

The episode opens with a discussion about the use of the word "swastika" in the TV show "White Lotus." Shane Gillis recounts a scene where a character says "swastika" instead of the less offensive "sawatida," sparking a debate on dog whistles and the resurgence of Nazi symbolism in media.

• Shane: "Everyone thought they're like, no, it's swati. It was swastika." [00:31]
• Nate: "That's exactly what a dog whistle is. Only you can hear it." [00:49]

The hosts express concern over how subtle references can perpetuate harmful ideologies, highlighting the importance of awareness in media consumption.

---

2. The Prevalence of "Tough Guy" Podcasts [04:07 - 05:15]

Shane and Nate delve into the current landscape of podcasting, criticizing the rise of "tough guy" personas in the industry. They contrast this trend with their own podcast's approach, emphasizing humor and authenticity over hyper-masculinity.

• Matt: "We need tough guy podcasts." [03:10]
• Shane: "Every person on the Internet is doing tough guy podcasts." [03:18]

The conversation underscores their desire to differentiate their content by focusing on genuine comedic interactions rather than adopting exaggerated tough personas.

---

3. Book Discussion: "The Guns of August" and WWI [05:15 - 07:37]

Nate introduces a discussion about a book detailing the origins of World War I, leading to a humorous yet critical analysis of how personal rivalries among European monarchies escalated into a global conflict.

• Nate: "World War I was basically the end of monarchies." [05:29]
• Shane: "How did that happen, though? England trading someone to France..." [05:25]

The hosts mockingly simplify the complex causes of WWI, attributing the war to petty familial disputes, thereby highlighting the absurdity of historical conflicts stemming from personal vendettas.

---

4. Exploring the Concept of "BullDoggin'" [07:37 - 19:22]

The term "BullDoggin'" is introduced as a humorous and exaggerated sexual reference. The hosts share comedic anecdotes about this fictional concept, blending absurdity with playful banter.

• Shane: "If it's consensual, ain't a bulldoggin'." [09:04]
• Nate: "It's a consensual dog, but he was fighting demons." [09:27]

Through over-the-top storytelling, they satirize modern relationship dynamics and societal norms, using "BullDoggin'" as a vehicle for their humor.

---

5. Personal Stories: Nicotine and Caffeine Withdrawal [35:08 - 61:06]

Shane opens up about his struggles with nicotine withdrawal during Lent, detailing the physical and emotional challenges it presents. The conversation evolves into a broader discussion about coping mechanisms and the impact of substances on behavior.

• Shane: "I couldn't stop. I was pretty immune to it. I'm like, no, I just use it when I'm writing." [36:58]
• Nate: "Nicotine is really addictive." [36:52]

The hosts share relatable experiences, blending empathy with humor as they navigate the difficulties of addiction and self-control.

---

6. Gardening and Pest Control Tactics [25:15 - 43:08]

The discussion shifts to gardening, with Shane detailing his methods for deterring mice using cayenne pepper powder. The hosts exchange tips and humorous observations about maintaining a pest-free garden.

• Shane: "I ordered a pound of cayenne pepper powder and just dumped it where they live." [39:37]
• Nate: "They don't like it." [42:16]

This segment combines practical advice with comedic undertones, showcasing their ability to find humor in everyday tasks.

---

7. Teaching Swimming and the "Black Swim Club" Initiative [55:23 - 62:08]

The hosts brainstorm the idea of creating a "Black Swim Club," aiming to empower the community and challenge stereotypes associated with swimming skills.

• Shane: "People won't be laughing. They'll be like, this is good." [55:23]
• Lamar: "Yeah, I'm down. I'm trying to move it on to butterfly." [55:44]

Through this proposal, they blend social commentary with humor, addressing issues of representation and empowerment in sports.

---

8. Interactions with Neighbors and Pets [37:08 - 43:27]

Shane recounts an incident where he unintentionally scared a neighbor with aggressive commands toward his dog, leading to a comedic reflection on his own behavior and communication skills.

• Shane: "I told my dogs, 'Go pee or I'll kill you.' [38:06]
• Matt: "Did you try to clean it up?" [39:12]

The anecdote serves as a humorous exploration of pet ownership and neighborly relations, highlighting the hosts' self-deprecating humor.

---

9. Pop Culture and Social Commentary [63:15 - 67:19]

Towards the end of the episode, the conversation veers into discussions about Michelle Obama's podcast, rumors, and the portrayal of public figures in media. The hosts engage in satirical takes on social issues, blending current events with their signature humor.

• Shane: "Michelle Obama and her brother looks identical." [64:35]
• Nate: "He got bonked." [67:08]

This segment underscores their ability to intertwine humor with insightful commentary on societal perceptions and media influence.

---

10. Light-hearted Banter and Closing Remarks [67:08 - 67:19]

In the final moments, the hosts engage in playful banter, reflecting on the episode's themes and expressing gratitude to their listeners.

• Shane: "Yo, guys. I love you guys." [67:15]
• Nate: "We love you." [67:18]

Their closing remarks maintain the episode's humorous tone, leaving listeners with a sense of camaraderie and anticipation for future episodes.

---

Notable Quotes:

1. Shane on "White Lotus" Swastika Usage:

   • "Everyone thought they're like, no, it's swati. It was swastika." [00:31]

2. Nate on Dog Whistles:

   • "That's exactly what a dog whistle is. Only you can hear it." [00:49]

3. Shane on Tough Guy Podcasts:

   • "Every person on the Internet is doing tough guy podcasts." [03:18]

4. Matt on WWI's Simple Cause:

   • "World War I was basically the end of monarchies." [05:29]

5. Shane on Nicotine Withdrawal:

   • "Nicotine is really addictive." [36:52]

6. Nate on Adderall and Behavior:

   • "We gotta get you some Adderall." [47:57]

7. Shane on the "Black Swim Club":

   • "People won't be laughing. They'll be like, this is good." [55:23]

---

Conclusion:

Episode 551 of "Matt and Shane's Secret Podcast," titled "BullDoggin'," delivers a blend of sharp humor, personal anecdotes, and satirical commentary on societal issues. From dissecting subtle media references to sharing intimate struggles and proposing community initiatives, the hosts maintain a dynamic and engaging dialogue. Their ability to intertwine humor with thoughtful observations makes this episode a standout, offering both entertainment and a touch of introspection for listeners.

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Note: Advertisements and promotional segments, such as the one for "Prize Picks," have been summarized and integrated into the relevant sections to maintain the flow and coherence of the content as per the provided instructions.

Transcript

[Matt]

Wild, wild west.

[Shane]

You guys want to smoke another cigarette out there and.

[Nate]

Yeah, perv out or what? Yeah, I have a meeting shortly, so it's good. You wasted time, you guys. You knew. Of course you knew. As soon as Matt arrived, you guys should have been ready. And instead, Lamar, don't act like you're writing anything.

[Shane]

Time stomps, dude. By the way, remember last week when I was saying on White Lotus when the guy did. Said swastika? Yeah, he did say swastika. Everyone thought they're like, no, it's swati. It was swastika.

[Nate]

Yeah.

[Shane]

I believe I started downing myself. I'm like, did I just hear that? Mike is. I mean, there is definitely a Nazi frenzy going on right now. I was like, I started worrying. I go, what the hell? Am I just hearing stuff?

[Nate]

That's starting to hear it. That's a dog whistle. That's exactly what a dog whistle is. Only you can hear it.

[Shane]

Oh, I'm starting to hear the whisper from the nest. I'm like, what the hell?

[Nate]

Yeah, it's coming.

[Shane]

But, yeah, no, he actually did. It was in the script because they actually interviewed him about that. Like, did you improv that? He goes, no, they put it in the script.

[Nate]

Oh, damn.

[Shane]

Instead of saying sawatida, which is like, hello and whatever. Whether Thailand.

[Matt]

Yeah, just random. Swastika.

[Nate]

What?

[Shane]

They're in Thailand. Yeah, he just. It was. Yeah, whatever. But he did say swastika, so. Hey, man, swastikas are. I could say. I'm not. They are hot right now. I don't agree with them. Yeah, I don't agree with them. If I saw that in my neighbor's yard.

[Nate]

They're on. They're on Teslas now. They're on Tesla's.

[Shane]

Are they on Tesla?

[Nate]

We love Tesla.

[Matt]

They're getting put on.

[Nate]

You see Trump dog with that.

[Shane]

Nobody said.

[Nate]

He basically did. Him and Elon did like, a car commercial for Teslas in front of the White House. And he goes, we love Tesla. Yes.

[Shane]

They really did a car. They did, like, a Tesla car commercial. Dude, I heard this and I. Again, I haven't substantiated it. I saw it was just two guys in, like, fitness gear on Instagram. So this is my source. So definitely hard legend.

[Nate]

That's where everyone gets their information now.

[Shane]

Well, dude, these guys seem so confident. They're in, like, a very, like, so goddamn cool room. And they were like, well, obviously, Tesla driving a Tesla reduces your testosterone by 18. And the other guy goes, I mean, yeah, that. That's indisputable. The EMFs. They're trying to say the EMFs from electric vehicles lower your testosterone. And I can't get it out of my head. I was in. I got picked up on an Uber the other day, and I was like.

[Nate]

God, I'll tell you what. The guy's selling testosterone are making bank. Every single podcast is like, yeah, what'd you have today? Peanut butter and jelly? Yeah, that lowers your testosterone. All right, all right. I think thinking about podcasting lowers your testosterone. I'm tired of hearing guys talking about being men while talking into a microphone. So many tough guys doing podcasts these days. It's literally the biggest girl thing you can do is sit there and gossip.

[Shane]

It's true.

[Nate]

In front of a camera, dude, if.

[Shane]

You know how to. Like, if you get a real man on a podcast, they're like. And then I talk. They like.

[Nate]

They're 10ft away, not near the microphone. They go, what is this? What you guys do? You just talk here?

[Shane]

Yeah.

[Nate]

If you get a microphone should be.

[Shane]

This far from your head. You should just stare nervously and go, I don't know. Is this good? What do you want me to say? Yeah, you're absolutely right. Podcasting has destroyed the EMFs coming from. I don't even know what they are.

[Nate]

But those are coming from podcasts. It's coming from tough, tough guy podcasts. Enough of it.

[Matt]

I think we need them.

[Nate]

You think we need tough guy?

[Matt]

We need tough guy podcasts.

[Shane]

Like, which. What would you think?

[Matt]

It makes some people look good. We're around. We're talking tough. Who else is doing tough guy podcasts?

[Shane]

Every person on the Internet.

[Matt]

I mean, no other country. We have so many. Our tough guys need other to do. We're out of Europe.

[Shane]

Well, when Europe. That's a problem. When Europe gets tough guys, you gotta watch their tough guys go pretty low.

[Nate]

Guys rise up. Meteoric pace just to the top immediately.

[Shane]

We need more Tesla over there in Europe. Tesla. They're. Yeah, they're the right wing in Europe. I don't read enough about it, but I think they're heating up.

[Nate]

They're heating up.

[Shane]

They're heating up. He's on fire.

[Nate]

Y. That's how it ends.

[Shane]

Yeah. Brothers in Europe, chill. Let us handle this.

[Nate]

Yeah.

[Shane]

Doesn't look good when they do it, too.

[Nate]

They've failed too many times at it.

[Shane]

True.

[Nate]

Tough guy podcasts have failed there time and time again.

[Shane]

True that.

[Nate]

You would like the. The book I'm listening to. What is it? I get like five minutes a night.

[Shane]

Before you're talking about the one you're.

[Nate]

Falling asleep to the guns of August. It's very nice.

[Shane]

You would like that narrator. Bro.

[Nate]

You would love how it started. It's World War I, so it's just the funniest mystery.

[Shane]

World War I's a total mission.

[Nate]

They're literally. It's just family. It's one. And they're all. They're all related. Like, the Kaiser is related.

[Shane]

That's the weirdest.

[Nate]

Yeah, they're all family and they all have to, like, hang out together. And it's like succession, except it results in one of the biggest catastrophes in human history.

[Shane]

Yeah, dude. Like, how did that happen, though?

[Nate]

Like, how did those, like, jealous of each other. The Kaiser is like a small hand and he's like, don't look at my hand. I think it was him or the saw. I forget.

[Shane]

Yeah, the one guy was like, up. The one Kaiser. Well, that was. Was he.

[Nate]

Wilhelm's the one they kind of pinned the entire war on, which that led.

[Matt]

Wait, World War I startup just because of a couple dudes beefing?

[Nate]

Yeah, pretty much. Damn. You can boil it down to that.

[Matt]

That stinks.

[Shane]

Well, it's a total mystery.

[Nate]

It's. I don't think it's. I think that's the whole point of this book is the build up to World War I. So there's like. If you look into it, there's explanations.

[Shane]

Yeah, but like, they all say, like, oh, they were cousins and stuff. But has anyone, like, looked into, like, how did. Was that just like, England trading somebody to France and being like you?

[Nate]

Yeah. Well, The World War I was basically the end of monarchies.

[Shane]

Yes.

[Nate]

I do remember that in Europe. So it was still that type of thing where it's like the Habsburg royal family.

[Shane]

Yeah.

[Nate]

There's like, families that you. You do trade.

[Shane]

Sorry if I can't handle the nick.

[Nate]

Like, those are strong, bro.

[Shane]

I know they get you.

[Nate]

Yeah. Spicy.

[Shane]

They dissolve fast.

[Nate]

But like, Marie Antoinette, she wasn't French. She was her traded in a.

[Shane]

Where was she from? England, I think.

[Nate]

Austria.

[Shane]

She was from. Damn, dude. That must be cool though, to be like beefing with a whole other country and be like, bro, just send our hot dog.

[Nate]

Send our hot daughter over there. We'll chill.

[Shane]

And if. If they. If your daughter doesn't work to satisfy the nation, you have to like, millions.

[Nate]

Of men have to die within the nations. The people don't know. It's not like they're interacting. It's not like there's Internet. They're all just sitting there. And then a royal family will beef and be like, send the bros. Yeah, send the bros. Send a million of the bros over there.

[Shane]

You know they did a really bad thing. You're just like, what, what did they do?

[Nate]

They didn't fuck our daughter. They said our daughter was ugly at a party.

[Shane]

Didn't. Go ahead. What did you say?

[Matt]

I was gonna say, does that mean like back then you like, now we're bummed. When you have thought daughter, does that mean back then they were kind of like, thought daughter.

[Nate]

She's a whore. It's a very American thing to not be thought daughter is big in the world.

[Shane]

Yeah.

[Nate]

And you go, nice. I'm gonna send her to a family. I'm gonna get a couple barrels of yeah, man.

[Matt]

So we, we're the ones who started caring about thought that daughter.

[Nate]

Well, I think slut daughter has always been frowned upon.

[Shane]

Okay, dude, as a brother, your job was hot daughter.

[Matt]

Okay?

[Shane]

My daughter was perfect. It was like having a Tesla, dude.

[Nate]

Yeah, it's like getting a Tesla.

[Shane]

It's like a Tesla truck.

[Nate]

Yeah.

[Shane]

Sounds like a cycle.

[Nate]

Does hot daughter raises tea, from what I've seen.

[Shane]

Oh, yeah.

[Nate]

Usually those guys get pretty jacked and angry.

[Shane]

You have to, yeah, you're to get pissed.

[Nate]

Or it lowers teeth significantly and you're like, yeah, she's gorgeous. There's two ways to go. Either get jacked and get a gun and go, I'll kill anyone that'll. Or you go, isn't she beautiful? She's dating the hottest guy. Yeah, she's dating the quarterback. Isn't that awesome?

[Shane]

Yeah, that's more mid daughter behavior. If you have a babe daughter, you got to go way higher.

[Nate]

You gotta get jacked. You gotta get a divorce and get jacked.

[Shane]

Yes, right away. Divorce right away. You say, babe, I don't have a problem with you, but our daughter's just way too hot.

[Nate]

Our daughter's too hot. We gotta split up. I gotta focus on myself. I gotta get, I gotta get tan now.

[Shane]

I gotta prepare myself to sexually assault a 21 year old man if I have to do CrossFit. Just a bulldog. A kid in his apartment, like post college off campus. No, no, no, don't spoil it. Don't spoil it. I didn't get to see it.

[Nate]

That's a nice story of a guy getting bulldoged. Dude, it's so funny.

[Shane]

My brother Tom was telling me that he thinks and I, I, I haven't seen it, so I can't comment on it, but he was like, tom got.

[Nate]

Hit with the ultimate taboo last night. Did he get hit by A big taboo last night.

[Shane]

He was. Tom said, it's the ultimate sex addict share. He was like, saying, like, coming.

[Nate]

That's the one. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

[Shane]

I. I can't wait to.

[Nate]

That's the guy getting bulldoged.

[Shane]

Really?

[Nate]

Sam Rockwell.

[Shane]

Which one? Sam Rockwell.

[Nate]

Oh, I know you're talking about. No, yeah, he. He makes. He makes an appearance just to talk about getting bulldog.

[Shane]

No, I spoiled it. No.

[Nate]

He literally just cameos just to be like, I've been getting bulldoged. What the is this?

[Shane]

Yeah, man.

[Nate]

I forget how he words it too. He does use a funny word like that. Really? It's not bulldog, but he. He's like getting piped out or something.

[Shane]

Something.

[Nate]

Something crazy.

[Matt]

Was this a force bulldogging or like a consensual bulldog?

[Nate]

No, it's a consensual dog.

[Shane]

It.

[Nate]

I'll just tell you.

[Shane]

There's no sensual bulldogging. That's not a real thing. If it's consensual, ain't a bulldoggin.

[Nate]

It's not. I mean, you're consensual with the guy doing the bulldog, and you have given him permission, but you aren't consenting to. What drove you to get bulldogged?

[Shane]

It was a consensual dog.

[Nate]

It was a consensual dog, but he was. He was fighting demons.

[Shane]

Oh, did.

[Nate]

He thought one way to get rid of it was to get bulldogs.

[Shane]

If you want to feel better about yourself, if you ever want to feel better about yourself sexually, read like, like sex addict. Like, like anonymous. Kind of like them reporting on, like, them falling to real sex addiction. It's harrowing, dude. It's crazy.

[Matt]

Just like this. Just the they do to get.

[Shane]

I mean, dude, it's like, yeah, like, like, like imagine instead of the podcast was like, later, babe. And I was just raw dogging prostitutes and, like, worrying about hiv.

[Nate]

I really want to spoil this.

[Shane]

There's a soft spoiling it. Don't spoil it. There was a soft white underbelly. I mean, you can if you want.

[Nate]

There's just a story. It's. It's. It's not like in. Integral to the plot in any way.

[Shane]

Yeah, I don't care.

[Nate]

He sits down. He's like. They're like, where have you been? He's like, I found God. I'm sober now. And then he's like, I. I moved here to Thailand. He doesn't tell, say why, something happened, a crime. And then he moves to Thailand and he's like, and you know me, I always. I had a thing for Asian women. So I started. I Was just buying women. Them all day, every day, thousands of women. And he's like. And then finally I started to realize maybe I, you know, they complete my other half. Maybe I should feel what it's like to be them. So I started, you know, dressing up a little, dress it up a little, trying on some costumes, getting plugged. Then all a sudden he's hiring guys to plug him. He's getting plugged while he hires an Asian prostitute to sit and watch. And he would stare at her in the eyes, just.

[Shane]

Was he trying to get his pipe game better? Because he wanted to understand what, what it was like.

[Nate]

He. Yeah, he wanted to feel what it was like. And he was. He said he was hiring guys that looked like him so he could dress like a woman and feel like what it's like to fuck him.

[Shane]

Size wise, too.

[Nate]

Didn't talk size. Did not talk size.

[Shane]

I mean, if he was going facial appearance, he's probably checking, but I would.

[Nate]

Imagine if you're willing to fuck a guy in the butt for money, you have a huge dong. I have a small penis. I would never do something like that.

[Shane]

So true. That's why, you know, we have beautiful statues of us and antiquity.

[Nate]

Of course.

[Shane]

We were just sitting there, like, charting the stars.

[Nate]

Freaky ass.

[Shane]

Yeah, we were charting the stars, dude.

[Nate]

We were too busy. I was charting the stars last night.

[Shane]

Were you really out there?

[Nate]

Like, goddamn moon's big.

[Shane]

You can see a lot of planets too. You can see a lot of planets out there. We have the app. We have the. I mean, obviously, dude. Yeah, we have the app. Did you look at the stars last night or were you just freaking?

[Matt]

No, I was inside all day. All night. I went out to walk the dog. That was it really.

[Nate]

The stars were good last night.

[Matt]

Was it a special star day?

[Nate]

It was a special star day.

[Shane]

You get Orion. Yeah, you get Orion.

[Matt]

Dumbest thing I've ever seen.

[Nate]

What the are you talking about? Is it a special star?

[Matt]

Well, I don't know.

[Shane]

Like, they like the red clips a couple days ago.

[Nate]

Yeah.

[Matt]

So I didn't know if it like.

[Shane]

Yeah, big lunar eclipse. I missed it. I was driving home from Dallas.

[Nate]

I didn't know there's a lunar eclipse.

[Shane]

Yeah, it was at like 2:32, 34 to be exact. Thursday night.

[Matt]

That's. It was like a lunar eclipse and a blood moon, right? Like a red blood moon or something.

[Shane]

Well, there was a blood sun due to the fire. Due to the fires. You didn't see that? There was a red blood. Blood red song.

[Nate]

Nice.

[Shane]

Because they had it was.

[Nate]

Yeah, it was this weekend.

[Shane]

Yeah. Because they had fires and like Douglasville river somewhere. Fredericks. Yeah, I keep going. Douglasville, Fredericksburg. It was in the new 20. Billsville. And yeah, dude, they fought. It was crazy. It's a blood red sign.

[Nate]

I know. I heard about it. I was afraid I wasn't gonna be able to fly in.

[Shane]

Oh, yeah. Through all the smoke.

[Nate]

Yeah, yeah, it was fun.

[Shane]

Sure. The pilot was going. Psych. This episode is brought to you by Max. Welcome to your new American dream. Go inside the lives of the original influencers. And now global sports and entertainment superstars Jake and Logan Paul as they launch their latest venture, a new family reality series. Paul American on Max.

[Nate]

Oh, yeah.

[Shane]

See, behind the curtain of fame and into the Paul's high octane.

[Nate]

Live octane.

[Shane]

Up and close. Up close and personal look at Logan and Jake, their partners and their parents.

[Nate]

I want to get a good look at their partners and parents.

[Shane]

So do I. Yep. Dude. Shane, love them or hate them, you won't be able to look away.

[Nate]

Stream Paul American, March 27th, exclusively on MAX.

[Shane]

Yeah, I got to fly on Wednesday.

[Nate]

Where you headed?

[Shane]

Royal Oaks, Michigan.

[Nate]

Nice.

[Shane]

Yeah. Just added a early show, by the way. Thursday, please fill it up. But the. But. Yeah, the. Yeah, that'll be sick. My whole family. Now that I know if you land on water, your plane explodes, man, that.

[Nate]

Yeah. I couldn't believe you.

[Shane]

I was so confident. Being like, before, over the water, we'll just glide down. You were like that.

[Nate]

Nah, bro, our plane is gonna. First of all, I was like, you're so shattered.

[Shane]

I was like, you're so negative about everything I looked at.

[Nate]

I was like, God damn, our plane's definitely gonna explode. And even if it did land, it, it'll.

[Shane]

They were like, if it. If your plane doesn't break into pieces on water, that's like. That's literally the mirror. You're like a wheel grabs the water and the whole thing just, like, stops.

[Nate]

That surprising.

[Shane]

I've been over bodies of water being, like, safe.

[Nate]

I mean, I'm sorry. I'm sorry. Yeah.

[Shane]

But you really need a Runway. Pretty much. You need a Runway.

[Nate]

Yeah.

[Shane]

You know, maybe a flat plane.

[Nate]

Yeah. If there's like a hill, you're.

[Shane]

Yeah, exactly.

[Nate]

Speed bump. You're getting lost.

[Shane]

Although the ramp, though, if you, like, landed and then the ramp, the air would be sick. The air you would catch would be kind of worth it.

[Nate]

You would catch some nice air.

[Shane]

You get some crazy air.

[Nate]

You would go. Just for one second, take off my.

[Shane]

Mask, you go see that Someone was saying if the masks are just to get you high off the oxygen. If that's the case, let's break something else out.

[Nate]

Heroin.

[Shane]

Yes, anything. Drop down the heroin, dude. Nitrous at least. Like, come on now. That's bull, dude. To be like, oh, yeah, we're giving you, like, a boardwalk oxygen bar.

[Nate]

Yeah, that's actually a good point. They should. There should be a second mask, because sometimes they just drop the mask out of, like, depressurized. Oh, yeah. But they should give you a little anesthesia.

[Shane]

Exactly.

[Nate]

You know what I mean? Just like, here, something. Count to ten.

[Shane]

Yeah, I would anesthesia my family. I would definitely. Just in case one of the pilots pass out.

[Nate]

It's very swastika of you. It's very gerbils of you. I'm anesthesia my kids. Kids. And play this thing out, dude.

[Shane]

Yay. His shit now is. I mean, I can't even. He is dying on the craziest hill being a Nazi.

[Nate]

Yeah, yeah.

[Shane]

Well, not even. He's a Klansman too, now.

[Nate]

Oh, I saw it.

[Matt]

Is he.

[Shane]

He wears Clan Rose.

[Nate]

The funniest thing was he loves Diddy. Him saying, I'm a Klansman now. There were comments from black people that were like, all right, now I'm done.

[Shane]

Where were you on the Nazi? Like, you finally.

[Nate]

You've gone, too.

[Shane]

I was dying. Because ever since you said that, he's gone several steps beyond. I keep seeing that comment now I keep laughing, being like, all right, that's enough.

[Nate]

No, I'm done.

[Matt]

You think he's doing a big. I think he's just around.

[Nate]

Obviously, he's doing a bit.

[Shane]

Yeah, yeah.

[Nate]

I.

[Matt]

For a while, didn't realize. I'm starting to.

[Shane]

I mean, yeah, he is taking the most hateable things and being like. He's now being like, did the audition is my favorite. Where he was. Do you see the new audition for Vultures or whatever, where he wants to do, like, a live chorus, I guess. Not like his Sunday service. It could be a Sunday service. I don't know. But it's like, he wants to do now a chorus of all black men. No white men. And you have to be at least the complexion of Diddy. Dark enough. You have to be at least as dark as. No, that's his exact words. You got to be at least the complexion of Diddy. And you must be willing to shave your head. And his volunteer. And you have to wear swastika. But other than that. Other than that.

[Nate]

He's gonna get so many volunteers.

[Shane]

Oh, for sure.

[Nate]

Yeah.

[Shane]

It's Going to be in Compton too.

[Matt]

Oh, man.

[Shane]

Or like this LA area. So, yeah, I'm looking. Be on the lookout for that. That's going to be a bunch of shades.

[Nate]

That's going to be the funniest thing that's ever happened. Oh, man.

[Shane]

But yeah, man, his knees iced out. Now he's got the swastika ice flooded on both sides too. If you can't flood the other side. Wait, I have not seen this.

[Nate]

He's got an iced out swastik. There's no way. This is gonna be the coolest thing I've ever seen.

[Shane]

I mean, that would be an heirloom.

[Matt]

Finding a jeweler to do that had to be impossible.

[Shane]

You'd be surprised. True, true. A lot of them.

[Nate]

Well, now that's a bit of a.

[Shane]

Yeah, yeah, never mind.

[Matt]

I do what I say.

[Shane]

Yeah, I mean, he's. It'll be interesting, man. This is just a phase. He's going to be onto something else.

[Matt]

Yeah.

[Nate]

I mean, I actually don't know if he got it. Oh, yep, there it is. Yep.

[Shane]

Yeah, he was showing that thing off.

[Matt]

Oh, shit.

[Shane]

Damn. I mean, here's the thing though. If you can't float, if you can't flood both sides, it's not. What are you even doing?

[Matt]

Wait, so the other side is. Is no diamonds.

[Shane]

No. Hell yeah. It's all flooded out, bro. He was saying if anyone else can't flood the other side of their swastika diamond. The swastika diamond pendant. He was calling them a loser. Say, what are you? A loser.

[Matt]

Damn.

[Shane]

Yeah, he's flexing, man. He's got a new song. His new songs are out. Read the lyrics. They're pretty. I mean, they're so funny.

[Nate]

I haven't. Yeah.

[Shane]

Oh, his new raps are.

[Nate]

They've been tough to find.

[Shane]

Oh, they're on Twitter.

[Nate]

He's.

[Shane]

He's doing like vocal runs of like, the lyrics and it's like, again, he is a wordsmith, but it's just about him being a Nazi.

[Matt]

Oh, it's a Nazi album.

[Shane]

Yeah. I mean, the COVID of the album is a giant swastika as well. He's fond of them right now.

[Nate]

Hitler's ghost is gonna be sad when he finds out. This is a bit.

[Shane]

Yeah, true.

[Nate]

You know, I mean, because right now he's probably got his hopes up for sure. Yes. The one guy that would see that necklace and be like, holy, that's sick. I knew history would look kindly on my act.

[Shane]

It was a joke. He's doing it, man. And you know, that's The. I mean, it is a good experiment. Like, what if we just let all the worst stuff out of the bag and, you know, maybe it'll prove that most people actually are pretty level headed and they'll just be like, oh, this is weird. But we feel confident this won't catch on. That's the thing. I think people worry this is going to catch on and people are going to be like, hold on a second. Actually.

[Nate]

Yeah.

[Shane]

Yeah. But yeah, it's. Yeah. Pretty wild stuff.

[Nate]

Yeah.

[Matt]

Kind. It doesn't get black people to start going around wearing swastikas. That would be devastating.

[Shane]

I feel like every. I don't know. I feel like black men do have a hall pass right now to be like, dude, I just. Is my favorite artist. I don't know. I was just trying it out too. Blackman kind of have a Nazi hall pass for the Next. I think 2025 is all about the black male Nazi hall pass.

[Nate]

All right.

[Matt]

I won't say no.

[Nate]

It's a very reasonable prediction.

[Shane]

Yeah, we have to. I would.

[Nate]

Hold on a second. What was that?

[Lamar]

I almost bought one of the Kanye West Sean John shirts, though.

[Nate]

Oh, okay.

[Shane]

What was the Sean John shirts?

[Lamar]

He made Sean John shirts like for Diddy.

[Shane]

He's Lamar. You as a. As a hill dyer yourself. You got to be just taking that. Is that what you're taking notes on right now?

[Lamar]

Yeah, no, I'm. I haven't paid attention. I've been out of the loop. I didn't know about the full Nazi album.

[Shane]

Oh, yeah, yeah.

[Matt]

You're keeping it from. I had no idea about the album. I had no idea they might be.

[Shane]

Hitting more of the white algos right now. A little harder right now.

[Nate]

Yeah.

[Shane]

That makes my outgo is crazy, dude. I. I'm the least xenophobic guy in the world and I get nothing. I get nothing but just the craziest content.

[Nate]

Yeah.

[Shane]

And you know, I watch it, but it's like, it's. It's.

[Nate]

I watch it. It works.

[Shane]

It works.

[Nate]

I become hateful. It works really well.

[Shane]

It literally is. Is all hate. It's for real.

[Nate]

Yeah.

[Shane]

And it works. I mean, it's just. It works is that it gets the most numbers every fight. Seven million views. And then I watched it really like, it was like a genuinely touching video of like, it was like a bunch of like young black kids about to fight. And this old man came up and gave him. Do you see that?

[Nate]

Yeah.

[Shane]

Gave him the speech like, what are you doing? Blah, blah. I checked the view count. It was like 200,000 then it was just a lady getting socked in the face. Seven million. I was like, damn.

[Nate]

Yeah.

[Shane]

Dang.

[Nate]

No, that stuff works. It's like the lady who. A thousand guys in a day or whatever. Yeah, that content works.

[Shane]

It kills.

[Nate]

It makes you angry. I saw a clip of her sitting on the ground. There were like guys in football pads behind her, like a team. And she was like, I can't. Are you guys ready to turn my tight end into a wide receiver?

[Shane]

Yeah. Yeah, we'll do it.

[Nate]

I was just looking at it going.

[Shane]

God, maybe they'll rise. The thousand men slut ladies. Everyone's worried about Kanye and his Nazi army. What if those ladies rise? That's a problem.

[Nate]

They're putting together an army. They could send those thousand men. They could.

[Shane]

One of them's pregnant.

[Nate]

One of the slots.

[Shane]

One of the slots. One of those.

[Nate]

Fake.

[Shane]

It was fake.

[Nate]

It was fake.

[Shane]

Well, wasn't she like raising awareness? That made no sense. She goes, using my platform to raise awareness for pregnant ladies. I'm a lady. Yeah, that's some. You shouldn't fake being pregnant. That's not right.

[Nate]

I agree.

[Matt]

It's a classic movie.

[Shane]

Why was she faking? What a psycho lady.

[Nate]

To get clicks. She just posted a video with her with a fake housing.

[Brittany]

Guys.

[Nate]

Yeah, she had like a fake pregnant belly on. It was like, I'm pregnant. And everyone was like, see, that's what you get.

[Shane]

You abort that child, I'll kill you.

[Lamar]

You don't think she just got rid of the baby?

[Nate]

I'm sure.

[Shane]

Well, she would have showed that fast either. I got Trey. I'm dumbass. I should have known that.

[Nate]

You never know when they filmed the original one.

[Shane]

True.

[Nate]

Or maybe months ago.

[Shane]

Yeah, and perhaps before that thousand man gang bang. She was maybe up to some other loot acts before that.

[Nate]

No, her. She's pure as the driven snow.

[Shane]

That's all we'll have. That's the world, dude. In 2030 will just be Nazi men and thousand lady slut gangbangs. We're in for a rough future.

[Nate]

But can. They cannot coexist. You gotta pick a side. You're either skinhead, black Nazi or British Thousand slut lady. There's no those. That's the next war. Those two cannot coexist. Ironic black Nazis versus Ironic black Nazis versus literal hundred thousand gangbang ladies.

[Shane]

What? That's a weird arms race. Because then someone's got to go. There's got to be like a like. Like the speed of sound kind of thing. Like someone's going to hit the Absolute limit. Or do you try to work it where like. Like, how if a thousand in a day. I'm still kind of like, I don't think it's 2 completion. Or is a gay guy gonna step up and go, this is how guys do it?

[Nate]

Yeah, I think they're doing that. And they're just. They're not doing it for the clicks. They're doing it for. Hey.

[Shane]

That'S love of the game. Yeah. Where all my sweet boys at, man? Let's. Let's fire this up.

[Nate]

Sweet boys will get it going.

[Shane]

We can't have them crushing the record. Although that could be one of those things you ever see when, like, you know, guys, you're like, this is the women's powerlifting record and just crush it. Yeah, women might. That might be their record, man. I don't know if. I don't know if a dude could break a thousand guys in the.

[Matt]

In the boat, that seems like it would actually kill you in the Butzler.

[Nate]

Yeah. Yeah.

[Matt]

I think you would actually die from a thousand guys.

[Shane]

From a scourge from God. A thousand locusts every year.

[Nate]

Get bulldogged a thousand times. Yeah. They will get struck by lightning, just explode.

[Shane]

You want the wrath of everywhere. Yeah, man. These are. There's definitely very confusing times right now. True. Happy St. Patrick's Day.

[Nate]

Yeah.

[Shane]

Got my green shirt. Yeah. My whole family, we got. We decked the deck. The kids out today. Gave them the little, like, beads in their braids. Orange, white and orange, white and green. It was pretty sick. Yeah, we Irished them out. It was pretty sick.

[Nate]

I didn't realize that's why you're wearing that. I thought. I thought it was just a cool shirt. St Patty, it is a really sick shirt.

[Brittany]

Thank you.

[Shane]

You gotta break out a celebratory claw.

[Nate]

True. I got a White Claw for St.

[Brittany]

Patty's I gotta stay off the booze. I went to a kegger yesterday.

[Shane]

You did a kegger yesterday?

[Nate]

Yeah. I saw the group text. You guys were in shambles yesterday.

[Matt]

Yeah.

[Nate]

What happened?

[Matt]

Well, I didn't do nothing, but yesterday I wrestled sometimes.

[Nate]

He texted at, like, 4pm I was like, I'm already up.

[Lamar]

Oh, yeah. I did the roast battle last night. Just your first show?

[Nate]

Oh, yeah.

[Lamar]

And I was drinking.

[Nate]

Oh, okay. Yeah.

[Shane]

Did you get roasted or did you judge the rest?

[Lamar]

No, I was judging.

[Shane]

That's sick.

[Lamar]

Yeah. Yeah, it was pretty fun.

[Shane]

I get anxiety thinking about those things.

[Nate]

Yeah.

[Shane]

Just being up on a roast battle, I've. It would just. Just get demolished and be like, no, seriously, you're being a dick right now. I'll fight you right now. This is even judging. Catching one like you.

[Nate]

Like you don't catch one for one of those guys.

[Shane]

I never do this. You. Man, that actually hurt my feelings.

[Lamar]

I finally got to meet Alexis Fox. She was one of the judges.

[Nate]

Who's that?

[Lamar]

That was the lady who gave me the Fleshlight. I finally got to meet her.

[Shane]

Oh, saw fleshlight or her like, specific.

[Lamar]

Like her specific Fleshlight.

[Matt]

Did you go up to a. Felt great?

[Shane]

What you say?

[Matt]

You go up to her and go, felt great.

[Shane]

True. She broke you off a little sample. I'm a huge fan.

[Lamar]

She was nice. She was so nice.

[Shane]

That's a smart gal. Take the stress off the real one. Be like, here, pull it out.

[Nate]

Give it to the thousand lamers.

[Shane]

No, say, what were you saying?

[Brittany]

I was just laughing about Lamar being one of those horses that they give fake so they could start them out.

[Shane]

They stood them out for breeding more Lamars.

[Nate]

Yeah, Stut them out. That could be the only thing we have to fight against the Nazis and slots in the future. Clone army of Lemaires.

[Shane]

True. That nation would be captured by the sluts instantly. There would be surfs.

[Nate]

I love this. I love this side of the mayor. No. No way.

[Lamar]

No way, dude.

[Shane]

Simsburg conquered immediately.

[Lamar]

I'm no simp. Yeah, I'm no simp.

[Nate]

You're a simp.

[Shane]

The slut army would devastate you guys.

[Nate]

The dang lady's fake vagina. And then met her, and we're excited to meet her.

[Lamar]

If there's a clone army, I'm gonna take out all the slut lichen parts. We're gonna be like, just pure.

[Nate]

Oh, you're saying we're gonna breed that part out of you? Bring the clone on.

[Lamar]

You gotta breed it out.

[Shane]

How? That's your core. Do you ever see inside out? That's like the core marble. Yeah, that's like the core memory.

[Nate]

The horniest gu.

[Lamar]

No way.

[Nate]

You've gotta be.

[Lamar]

No, Nate's the horniest guy. He's the pull.

[Nate]

He's royalty. No, he actually is, right? You don't want.

[Shane]

I was sitting here quiet like, yes. Damn. The clone. Nate would attack the clone. The mares, they were trying to save the sluts. You'd have to watch out, though. You'd have.

[Matt]

I'd be talking to the Nazi bros. Like, they're giving out over there, man. Chill out. Let them do their thing.

[Shane]

Yeah, true. Although the. The black skinhead Nazis would have some going on, you know, they would be strictly, you Guys. Your queen would be. You guys would answer to your queen, the naked lady. Who's. Who's Kanye's naked wife.

[Nate]

Putting Saran Wrap and marching around Venice every 10 minutes. Crazy.

[Matt]

That's probably my favorite thing he's doing right now. Not probably 100.

[Shane]

That's just one of his side. Yeah. That's like. I mean, that's one of his side projects.

[Nate]

I think they broke up.

[Shane]

Don't believe the tabloids. They tricked me a couple times saying they broke. Did they actually break?

[Nate]

I'm not sure.

[Matt]

I think it's a rumor. I think they're still together and happy.

[Nate]

I just remember seeing it like a clip of Bill Maher talking about it being like they broke up in the crowd. Being like.

[Shane]

I know. That's the funniest thing. Like human eyes. She's mind control. Being mind controlled.

[Matt]

Or she's a.

[Shane]

Hey, that's a man's wife. Man.

[Matt]

A hot wife. I should. I meant to say. Or she's a hot wife that's even.

[Shane]

Worse than he's a cuck.

[Matt]

I mean. But isn't that. That's hot wife. And though when you go around, I.

[Shane]

Think that's actually part of you hot wife. To get. Yeah. You get a bulldozer. Get an okay. Yeah. You're bulldozer trolling.

[Nate]

What have you found with your research?

[Brittany]

So it turns out they are having marriage troubles right now. Bianca.

[Nate]

No way.

[Brittany]

But he was spotted yesterday with a woman who looks exact like her, but it's not her.

[Shane]

He might have the clone. He might have the clone army.

[Brittany]

But she doesn't look exactly like. This is just the tabloid.

[Nate]

Is it just. She has giant tits and.

[Brittany]

Yeah. It's just a pretty lady.

[Shane]

Well, there's a lot of enhanced ladies too. A lot of ladies are gonna start. We're gonna have like a lady singularity. Because they're starting to all look the same.

[Nate]

Yeah.

[Shane]

Huh.

[Matt]

That's what's nice about her. Those are giants.

[Shane]

She's not enhanced.

[Lamar]

She's. She's pure navy.

[Matt]

Blessed by the Lord.

[Nate]

Who?

[Matt]

Bianca. Sensory.

[Nate]

I don't. What did she do currently?

[Shane]

His wife. Current wife.

[Matt]

My bad.

[Nate]

No.

[Matt]

It's in my mind. Everyone knows it.

[Nate]

I did know her.

[Shane]

Didn't she just have a movie come out too?

[Matt]

I don't think so.

[Shane]

They did like a movie in Japan that was called like Bianca about her.

[Nate]

Yeah.

[Shane]

I swear to God. She starred in a movie in Japan.

[Nate]

I. I could see her being worshiped in Japan.

[Shane]

For sure.

[Nate]

For sure. Women.

[Shane]

I mean, that's. That. Huh?

[Brittany]

That's true.

[Shane]

Yeah. She's got a movie started in Japan.

[Nate]

You're tapped in, bro. That's what you're doing in that office.

[Shane]

I take a break.

[Nate]

I just go, put the phone down, bro.

[Shane]

It's on X on my computer. I take a break from writing and I just go. I go into X and I go.

[Nate]

Oh, holy, it's happening.

[Shane]

He's got a movie on. Fun in Japan. Really?

[Matt]

It's pretty nice.

[Shane]

That's pretty cool.

[Nate]

It's about the female body. That's surprising. I thought she was gonna branch out and oh, nope, she stuck to the old bread and butter. We're coming up with a movie. It's about tits.

[Shane]

Damn. What is the movie all about? I might fly to Japan and go.

[Nate]

To the premiere, wear the exact same outfit as her.

[Shane]

I might dress up a little bit. Yeah, I might dress up.

[Brittany]

Fashion focused movie censored around Kanye and Sensori's relationship. Exploring the female body.

[Shane]

It's fashion focused.

[Brittany]

The fashion focus. Kanye produced it.

[Shane]

What could be the next summer block? That's the. This is the thing I was worried about.

[Brittany]

Italian movie.

[Shane]

If he comes out with a. Yeah. Edge. Kind of. He's also banned from Italy, I think from getting head on a boat. He had plumbers crack. He was getting head. He had plumber's crack. Getting head on a boat in Italy. Apparently Italy was like, you're not allowed to back in.

[Nate]

I can't believe Italy's against this.

[Shane]

That's what I'm saying, dude. That's like nothing for Italy. I would assume that's all Venice is.

[Matt]

Like, that's what it's about.

[Shane]

You have a kid with a stick pushing you around. You. If you're like half your ass out murky, shitty river. Yeah, this is. I worry he's gonna come out with a absolute summer banger, though. And everyone's gonna be, God damn it.

[Nate]

That would be nice.

[Shane]

Yeah, it would be sick.

[Nate]

Yeah, that'd be fun.

[Shane]

But that's gonna. That could charge things up. If people are saying, you know, people like, if the lyric. If a song is good, people are gonna rap it. So if there's like clubs full of people all summer, be like, yeah, I'm a Nazi.

[Nate]

Yeah.

[Shane]

You know that. That could be. That could be a problematic.

[Nate]

That could be. And you're right. That that is possible.

[Shane]

Yeah. If I was like Jewish, if anyone can do it, I've got that turned up.

[Nate]

Too. Fired up.

[Matt]

I'm in there, Jade.

[Shane]

Like, yeah, true. That could be a problem.

[Matt]

Yeah.

[Shane]

But yeah, I think we're safe. From that. I don't think. I don't think the Nazi stuff's going to catch on, like, culturally. Like, people worry. People really worry about that. It's like. What do you mean?

[Lamar]

Hasn't it already caught on?

[Shane]

No, I mean catch on, bro.

[Lamar]

I mean.

[Nate]

No, you mean like in Germany.

[Lamar]

Like it's. It's. It's not like catching on like Germany, but it's building some steam, dude.

[Shane]

That's what I'm saying. It's. It's. Maybe, but you're talking about a frack like a small percentage of people that already. There are already people banging like that.

[Matt]

They just started tweeting about it.

[Shane]

But if it made. If a hit, undeniably hit, catchy song, hits the mainstream, then it's a problem that can make. But it's like, I don't know. Well, people just sing the song. Yeah, because people listen to. Yeah, yeah. I don't know. Because it's like gang, you know? If you think about like gangster app, does that have like a weird subconscious sway on like people's behaviors? I would say definitely. So maybe now I'm sound like an old guy.

[Matt]

No, I agree.

[Shane]

I'm an old violent music. It makes you do violent things. That's his whole point. He's like, if we can talk about killing each other in songs, why can't I talk about being a Nazi?

[Nate]

I hear you, but either way, let's.

[Shane]

Let's get out. Switching gears, by the way. You guys can't see my band. I don't want you guys to see this. I mean, real badass.

[Nate]

Matt tried to take his own life.

[Shane]

For real.

[Nate]

Matt got sad.

[Shane]

For real. Dude, water. Dude. A five gallon glass water jug got me.

[Nate]

I should have known. Wow. The. It's a five gallon jug. It's huge.

[Shane]

I know. It's massive.

[Nate]

Where was that?

[Shane]

Outside my driveway. It got delivered and I was like. Or not. My. Like my little thing near my garage. But I. What are you doing with the. I store. I store water. I always keep. I try to keep like 30 gals on me at all times.

[Nate]

Why?

[Shane]

Dude, remember when Philly. Were you in Philly? I know. You were in New York. Philly had like chemicals spill into the river.

[Nate]

Oh yeah.

[Shane]

And then I started. I started getting them there. Then I kind of like the five gallon glass jugs. So I just kept getting them delivered to my new house. And they were outside and there was just a. There was a hole. I saw water. I'm like, what the. And then I saw a hole in one of them. I Don't know if they got, like, slammed down and popped. Yeah, maybe somebody. A lawnmower shot. I don't know what happened, but there's a hole. I'm like, that's weird. So I went to pick it up, and the. It just. It was already cracked. I couldn't see it. So when I picked it up, the weight of it just came down and. Oh, gashed me up. Right before this, I just dressed my wound. And this morning, just now, like, before.

[Nate]

I left, he was late to the pot, right?

[Shane]

It was bleeding. That's why I wrapped it so aggressively, because it wouldn't stop bleeding. So I just wrapped it up, and I was always let, you know, Jeez, time do its thing. And also, nicotine constricts the blood vessels, so I had. I had to do that. Yeah, of course I had to constrict my blood vessels. I've been pretty disciplined on those things, and they've been starting to overcome. They've decided to break down.

[Nate]

Yep, that's how it goes.

[Shane]

Because I'm no caffeine for Lent. And honestly, dude, I think nicotine greater than caffeine. I would say caffeine rules, but, like.

[Nate]

Nicotine, no, nicotine is really addictive. Yeah, caffeine. I can. I can accidentally go a couple days without drinking coffee.

[Shane]

See, I couldn't. Now I can. Now I could tell you something better.

[Nate]

I'm a crackhead. If I go, I only have one left. I have to draw. I have to leave right now to go buy More.

[Shane]

You know what?

[Nate]

Flip every pillow in this.

[Shane]

I was wondering where it holds it. I was, like, thinking I was pretty immune to it. I'm like, no, I just use it when I'm writing. It's a good, you know, cognitive. Cognitive enhancer. And then, like, I wouldn't have the weekends. I wouldn't be writing. So I've been taking them. And I'll be like, man, I'm just really tired. I have no energy. Really irritable right now. I must have some sort of bug. I'm like, I was. Nicotine withdrawal. Yeah, God damn sure. But no, I. I'm. I'm. I stay disciplined. I am still. I've been doing one a day.

[Matt]

3 or 1 6.

[Shane]

Huh?

[Matt]

13 or 1 6.

[Shane]

3. I'm a 3 milligram weirdo. For sure.

[Nate]

The mints are strong, though. They. They were stronger than a 6 milligrams in. Really? Yeah. Like, as far as, like. Because you're just.

[Shane]

Yeah, you're just.

[Nate]

Pause. Just swallowing.

[Shane]

True, true. Thank you.

[Nate]

Spicy it is spicy.

[Shane]

He's swallowing a spicy. Dude, I had a.

[Nate]

Man don't stop taking notes.

[Shane]

Yeah, true man. What. What's. Take me back to the last time.

[Nate]

Our stenographer.

[Lamar]

It says nicotine.

[Shane]

Okay, sir.

[Nate]

How'd you spell it?

[Shane]

Very good thing.

[Nate]

I was hoping there was a K in there.

[Shane]

Dude. I. I think I might have outed myself as an absolute psycho to my neighbor yesterday. Walked outside. I didn't. I. Usually in the morning, nobody's out back, and I let my dogs out, and we have a little Frisbee outside. Like, I'll throw to Matilda every now and in the morning and, like, if I'm in a rush, but she doesn't get the Frisbee. But she'll, like. She'll, like, hit it and be like. And I was like, dude, you're not getting the Frisbee. I was like, go pee. I was in, like, a rush. I was like, go pay my neighbors on the other side of the fence. I was like, matilda, go pee or I'll kill you. And then I just hear, oh.

[Nate]

I was like, oh, hey, I was just joking around.

[Shane]

I don't really know what I said, so it might have been even worse. I just say the worst. Whenever she doesn't listen, I'll be like, for real. I think, like, I'll cut your head off. Like, I'll just say, the start of the day and the end of the night. That's the last thing I do before I go to bed and I let them in. If they don't listen, I'm like, you get in here. I swear to God, the lady heard. I don't know what I said, but she heard me say, it's going.

[Nate]

Oh, how is she? An older lady or.

[Shane]

Yeah, a little bit. Yeah.

[Nate]

Oh.

[Shane]

I was like, oh, hey, how you guys doing over there? And I was like, what did I just say?

[Matt]

Did you try to clean it up? Like, I was just playing with him. I talked to him like that.

[Shane]

Not even. I just let it run.

[Nate]

Yeah.

[Shane]

I just let it ride. But, yeah, other than that, though, dude, my backyard's been popping. Dude, the guard gardening might be my favorite thing ever.

[Nate]

That's very nice. You got animals in there still?

[Shane]

Nope. I put a cayenne. So I. I tried the red pepper flakes. Keep out the mice, but they're flakes. You got to get pepper powder. My brother Kevin was telling me, get a cayenne pepper powder, and I dumped, like, I ordered, like, a pound of cayenne pepper powder and just dumped it where the. I. I Them up.

[Nate]

Hold on one second.

[Shane]

Yeah.

[Nate]

Pause.

[Shane]

This episode is brought to you by Prize Picks.

[Nate]

Oh, yeah.

[Shane]

We're in the second half of the basketball season, and the race of the playoffs is heating up on Prize Picks, the best place to cash in on your favorite sports. This is what we're thinking for picks this week. I mean, Shane, I'm looking at the basketball board and selecting, I don't know, maybe Jason Tatum for more than 25 points.

[Nate]

I like that. I was thinking more like Julius Randall for more than eight rebounds. Anthony Edwards, more than 25 points. I like that.

[Shane]

Dad like that a lot. I've never thought about Jalen Brown and doing fantasy sports action on more than four assists.

[Nate]

Yeah, I have. It's fun.

[Shane]

It's awesome.

[Nate]

Get in the game.

[Shane]

Well, ready to make some picks of your own? Check out Prize Picks. I've been using these guys for a while now, and I'll tell you what, the app is really easy to use to create a lineup. All you have to do is pick more or less on a few player stats for your shot to win up to 1, 000 times your money.

[Nate]

It's crazy.

[Shane]

Prize picks right now, 1,000 times. I mean, what are we doing, dude? Download the app today and use code Drench to get 50 instantly after you play your first $5 lineup. Prize picks, run your game.

[Nate]

I mean, that's what it's all about. I love prize picks. And fuck March Madness. I'm focused on the NBA.

[Shane]

True that.

[Nate]

You know what I mean? Now the 70. Now that my sweet 76ers have tanked, I wouldn't mind placing some more or less picks.

[Shane]

Now your emotions are out of it. You can just.

[Nate]

My emotions are gone. 76ers are playing less. Less.

[Shane]

Yeah.

[Nate]

Less, less, less.

[Shane]

Just on some of your favorite stat projections.

[Nate]

Some of my favorite staff projections.

[Shane]

Yes. More or less.

[Nate]

More or less.

[Shane]

Thousand times, dude.

[Nate]

Connor McDavid More than more goals.

[Shane]

There we go.

[Nate]

A lot of people go, whoa, that's crazy.

[Shane]

Bang. Just like that, 1,000 times more. You've won literally a billion dollars.

[Nate]

Now you're a billionaire.

[Shane]

Yeah. Thousand millions is a billion. That's all.

[Nate]

Thousand millions is a building.

[Shane]

That's all I'm saying, man.

[Nate]

Is it building price picks. Run your game.

[Shane]

You're mad at Elon. Maybe pick dollars, become a billionaire. You can. Yeah.

[Nate]

Million dollars on Connor McDavid. Don't picks. Just whatever. And we're back. The cayenne pepper in the garden.

[Shane]

Thank you. The. Yeah, dude, I. So I've been at war with the Mice. I got that. What? What works for birds. Because birds were me up too. You got to get in your garden. That moves. So I have like one of those owls. Those like fake owls and it's head swivels. I have wind chime scares them. And I also have like a little spinny things. If they detect like motion that it freaks them out. But mice don't really give a. So you got to give them like. Like just gotta spread. You just gotta sprinkle the spices around for them. Because they step in that cayenne powder. They have like strong senses of smell, apparently.

[Nate]

Oh, they don't like it.

[Shane]

I did. Where they like live. I just a whole. Just a big bag of cayenne powder them up. Them up.

[Nate]

Yeah.

[Shane]

Huh.

[Nate]

Not killing them, just making them uncomfortable.

[Shane]

They smell it.

[Nate]

They're like.

[Shane]

Nah, I'm good on that.

[Nate]

Yeah.

[Matt]

Wait, are you done doing the.

[Shane]

Those.

[Matt]

The baking powder?

[Shane]

Dude, Apparently I made an ass of myself. They could. I thought you were close. I was close, but I don't. I don't know. I haven't. I haven't seen him after that, though I will say. And then some time passed and I saw one and. Dude, I got too many radishes to lose right now. Dude. It turns out that's the only thing I can grow. I'm just a radish. I'm pickle somebody.

[Nate]

You get to eat any of the radishes?

[Shane]

Not yet. I got like, they'll be. I think in a month they'll be fully grown. I got a lot. I'll drop some off to you.

[Nate]

Please.

[Shane]

I got some radishes and I'm growing flowers right now too.

[Nate]

That's very nice.

[Shane]

Very kind of flowers. I don't even know what they're called. They're just big. I just picked the craziest looking flowers.

[Nate]

Yeah.

[Shane]

Starting to see what takes. So they're thriving. My flowers are thriving. My leeks are thriving.

[Nate]

What a perfect time to plant those too.

[Shane]

Exactly.

[Nate]

Yeah.

[Shane]

I got it right. In time. And then I have. This will be. It's a year out, but I have blackberries, raspberries, and just blackberries, raspberries, and like golden raspberries. I don't know. I've never heard of those. Damn.

[Nate]

It takes a year to grow those.

[Shane]

It's just a rat. It's called a cane. So it's just a raspberry stalk. So it takes a year to bear fruit.

[Nate]

I always wondered why people got so mad at an animal for eating in their garden.

[Shane]

Bro.

[Nate]

That would piss me the off. I've been waiting a year for one basket of raspberries. Some piece of awesome.

[Shane]

My care. I had care. I have a couple carrots going. Your carrots are like, oh, I'm gonna eat a carrot for my garden. Come back one day, the greens are gone, and they're all up, and it's like. It's truly. It's kind of nice. I will say, it does teach you patience because, like, every day it's like, another thing to check and go, oh, you see a little bit of progress. And then if I'm, like, rushing out the door, if I'm in, like, rush mode and I'm like, damn, I didn't water my garden yet. If I'm like, if I'm rushing to where I don't water my garden, I know I have a up mentality and I gotta switch back. I gotta go Zandini. Zandini. Because you gotta go, dude. I gotta stay kind of somehow connected to this Zandini.

[Nate]

Are you staying Zandini? I broke my Zen fest a couple times this week. Yeah. Just responded to people for once.

[Shane]

No, you're just defending yourself.

[Brittany]

Like, I'm pretty Zen.

[Shane]

You're Zen down.

[Brittany]

That's Gigi. The kegger was in.

[Shane]

Was it Zenned out?

[Brittany]

Actually, no. I was kind of piece.

[Shane]

It's pretty Zen Dini to admit that, though. Yeah.

[Nate]

He's very quick to admit when he's being a piece of the next day.

[Shane]

I mean, dude. Yeah.

[Nate]

That's amazing. Everyone's finding out that you were right all along. Everyone.

[Brittany]

I'm Sean Stradamus.

[Nate]

That is true. I gotta give it to you, though. It might have been the easiest prediction of all time.

[Shane]

Yeah, that is true. Charles Ramas.

[Nate]

Yeah. Yeah, yeah.

[Shane]

I'm back on my Zen tip. I was off it for a while.

[Nate]

Our day will come.

[Shane]

Caffeine will put me. I'm not Zandini when I'm on daily caffeine.

[Nate]

Really?

[Shane]

Oh, my God.

[Nate]

You get grumpy.

[Shane]

I get. Yeah, it's grumpy. And it's like, re. I just have. My fuse is so short. Like, usually I'll notice things and I'll be like, okay, well, you shouldn't have done that. If I'm on the caffeine, I just.

[Nate]

Wife and kids will do that too, as well.

[Shane]

I know, but I'm saying that for sure, they catch the wrath. You're saying you or spaz you? Like, I think they do both.

[Nate]

Yeah. They'll spaz you.

[Shane]

They will. But when you. When I crush the coffee and then, like, the mornings, like euphoric. I have energy when it starts to dip and I'm just like, yeah, like have that shitty caffeine overdose feeling. It's just anything that happens, I'm like, guys know that.

[Matt]

I saw you hang up on somebody because food was coming. Can I bring that up?

[Shane]

That was my wife. Yes, absolutely. That was a great story.

[Matt]

Yeah, you were. I don't know if you, you, you were on the phone, food was coming. You were coffeeed up. You started seeing the food. You were like, I, I can't do. Like, you just.

[Shane]

Dude, I was telling all week and I'm like, my favorite thing is like, I chill during the week and or during the weekend. And then the Sunday I do. I drink like as much coffee as my body can handle. The point where I'm like, what? I get so jacked up on caffeine on Sunday.

[Nate]

Like two, two cups for me.

[Shane]

I'm.

[Nate]

Yeah, that's what I mean. Yeah, yeah.

[Shane]

Yes, dude. And it was self serve. So I'm like talking a tear off. It's like my second cup of coffee. I'm like. And then Brittany called me. I'm like, I'm having a conversation with her and our food comes out. I don't even remember what I said to her. I was like, I can't do this right now. And I just hung up the waitress or the waiter.

[Nate]

So I was met. Well, oh, dude, that was handled.

[Shane]

I didn't realize I did it until I'm like eating. I'm like, still like, so anyway, Nate and I stop. And I was like, oh, I think I just hung up on Brittany in like a total coffee spaz. I did. I apologize real quick. I was like, yeah, I don't even.

[Nate]

Know what happened up on anyone.

[Shane]

And she was just asking me normal. And I was like, I can't talk right now. I don't know what the. This is my brother. You always keep me on the phone. And I just like. Just her on the phone.

[Nate]

Yeah.

[Shane]

Totally uncalled for. And I did apologize. I was like, yeah. And she had been like, although was she driving? She wasn't even slaving me. She wasn't time slaving me. She was just asking me like I was flying home that day. It was like a very normal question. Rather than being like, like, oh, hey, our food's coming out. Let me call you back. I was just like, I don't know. I just purely short circuit.

[Nate]

Two cups of Joe.

[Shane]

Oh yeah, dude.

[Matt]

I get rock Joe fast before then though.

[Shane]

Oh yeah, Joe fast.

[Nate]

First that's what I do, bro. Come Easter, I died when I OD'd on the joe. You had, like, nine cold brews at that, dude.

[Shane]

Shane. One cold brew. I swear to God, I'm. I. One cold brew. I'm high like it's a drug. Like, I'm talking to people, and it's just, like, they feel like they're very far away from me. It's weird.

[Nate]

We gotta get you some Adderall.

[Shane]

Dive. I told you, I can't have that.

[Nate]

We gotta get you just one day. Just. Come on. It's for an experiment, dude.

[Shane]

I push the limits of our bodies. That's when I got kicked out of the Beastie Boys concert. It was Adderall. I jumped down.

[Nate]

You were also a young man. You're not gonna act like that now.

[Shane]

Dude, something happens to me on Adderall where I lock in on things and it's just like, yes. And I just.

[Nate]

Here's my plan. We get you some Adderall.

[Shane]

Yeah.

[Nate]

We take you to blazer tag, let you scream and spaz in there.

[Shane]

I mean, that would be awesome.

[Nate]

Exactly. You'd be so locked in.

[Shane]

I would. I. That's my problem.

[Nate]

That'd be awesome.

[Shane]

I get screwed.

[Nate]

You might jump there, though. You might try to get down.

[Shane]

That's my problem. I got down a level at the concert, got kicked out. And the one thing when I was.

[Nate]

Like, I don't know what causes you to catch air.

[Shane]

It does.

[Nate]

And you might catch fatality in the blazer Tag.

[Shane]

Because when I've Adderall especially, it was always with drinking and, like, smoking weed. I would just get an idea, and it's like, go.

[Nate]

Yeah.

[Shane]

There's no, like. Well, it's like, yes. Let's get this. So I remember I saw. I was in, like, Westchester, and I just saw, like, a 32 become bees. There was just these guys sitting down with, like, you know, like, girls on, like, the curb outside eating pizza, like a little college town in Westchester. And I just saw this big cup of soda from a block away, and I was just like, I'm gonna kick that thing. And I was like, I'm definitely gonna kick that cup of soda. And I came up to it, and sure enough, I booted it. And dude was like, what the man? And I just, like, came up and was like, yo, my bad. It's like, just kept walking. I was like, I'm sorry. I didn't. I didn't mean to.

[Nate]

That's your Mr. Hot.

[Shane]

Huh?

[Nate]

That's your Mr. Hot.

[Shane]

Adderall is my Mr.

[Nate]

Hot, Dr. Matthew and Mr. Bees.

[Shane]

Drinking on Adderall made so much sense in college.

[Nate]

Dr. Matthew.

[Shane]

It made sense. So much sense in college. Like, I'm tired, but I want to drink. Like, bro, take an adol. And I was like, yo, good call. And it would just be the worst situations ever.

[Nate]

Yeah, it really isn't that good. I. I put down the Adderall.

[Shane]

Yeah, The Aderall drink combo.

[Nate]

Yeah. It doesn't really help.

[Shane]

No, it's not necessary. I need it. Once my, like, critical thinking goes offline, I need to get out. I need to go to bed. I do not need to be turbocharged.

[Nate]

Feels like a great idea to tailgate.

[Shane]

Yeah. Well, yeah, when you're a little tired, you're like, well, I deserve to have some fun.

[Nate]

Yeah.

[Shane]

But, yeah, it ends up with pretty unsavory behavior on my behalf.

[Nate]

You ever take Adderall?

[Matt]

Yeah, only when I'm drinking for the most part.

[Nate]

Yeah.

[Matt]

I kind of love it.

[Nate]

Day drinking on Adderall while you're doing it is wonderful.

[Matt]

Yeah, it's probably the best. Or I like. I like night drinking when you're getting tired, but you don't want to end if you're in the middle of, like, a good night.

[Nate]

I love night drinking. We had some good nights here.

[Matt]

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

[Nate]

Those are some great nights.

[Shane]

But day drinking is, I think day drinking, I love.

[Nate]

But I love daydreaming. But then it always ends bad.

[Shane]

Yeah.

[Nate]

I've never really had too many day drinks that are. I was like, nice.

[Shane]

I've had a couple where I end up in bed by like, 9:30.

[Nate]

That's. That's the best case scenario.

[Shane]

But, yeah, you're right. I did it in Boston and I just stayed up super late and woke up the next morning with the most vicious, like, weed slash alcohol hang. It was not even weed. It was still high from edibles. Hungover in the morning.

[Matt]

And it's just like, that combo stinks, dude. Hungover and weed high, man.

[Nate]

You got to do something.

[Shane]

Yeah.

[Matt]

And you're like, like trying to just crush water to sober up and it's doing nothing. It's making you sick.

[Shane]

Yeah, I was. I was free. I. I had like, frill from that night slowed down on drinking incredibly. I fear it now. It was such a wretched state that I was like. I feel. Thought I was like, I. I'm. It's like, you know when you're high, you're like, I'm stuck like this. I thought I was like. I was like, dude, I think I Broke my brain.

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[Shane]

Yeah, it was being high with all that like alcohol, hangover anxiety. Just flying home with my wife and.

[Nate]

Just being like, oh man, it was a rough. You had to fly home.

[Shane]

Oh yeah.

[Nate]

I've been obviously hungover and a little high on quite a few. And that's the worst. It's the worst combination.

[Shane]

Yeah. Get home. Especially when you get home to your kids and you're like, I'll let you know. Your father made some poor decisions last night. There was four margaritas in the afternoon that were totally unnecessary.

[Nate]

No, I'd like to see that. I'd like to be around you before mugs.

[Shane]

Let's. Yeah, let's get crunk, dude. Oh, shit.

[Nate]

Yeah, I can't. I can't do it.

[Shane]

No, let's.

[Nate]

Let's stay sober this week. I got the UK this weekend.

[Shane]

Once you. Once the sketch chills, we'll schedule it as a crunk day. Yeah, let's get total. I got the fuck.

[Nate]

I got my schedule today. This morning. I'm fucked.

[Shane]

How's your schedule?

[Nate]

Fuck, I'm fucked forever. Doesn't fucking end.

[Shane]

Any room for a daytime pool party even.

[Nate]

Like there's gonna be a couple daytime pool party.

[Shane]

My months fly. Yeah, my months fly.

[Nate]

I'm fucked too.

[Shane]

So yeah, we'll do a daytime pool party. That is man, that's fun.

[Matt]

Ideal. Can I bring the butter dog?

[Nate]

Yes, the butter dog had a nice day here.

[Matt]

Yeah. Yeah, he did. He did.

[Nate]

I got 9,000 pictures of my girlfriend and the butter dog.

[Shane]

Butter dog. How was your dog doing?

[Nate]

Dog with the butter, man, he's perfect.

[Shane]

Is he. Is he a swimmer at all?

[Matt]

He's never gotten in the water.

[Nate]

That would suck if he could swim better than you.

[Matt]

I'm sure he can. Like if you gave it a shot, he. I'm sure he can.

[Shane]

That'd be crazy if he swam exactly like you.

[Nate]

He absolutely does. It's just his guarantee that's how he swims.

[Shane]

His ass.

[Nate]

His ass is giant ass. I've never seen anything head and feet totally underwater. Just an ass floating. You're like an octopus. Everything's down. You just.

[Shane]

Nate Lemaire, will you guys shoot me straight on my idea of the black swim club? I see you guys are so resistant.

[Lamar]

I don't want to be the black guy. That does it.

[Matt]

You said you dope.

[Shane]

Yeah, I figured. I figured that was the hang up.

[Nate]

We were getting good. We were getting good.

[Shane]

Yeah. Killing it.

[Nate]

I was teaching him how to swim.

[Shane]

My problem is, like, dude, you guys are running a podcast. Nate, swimming is the funniest. There's actually a swim instructor in Austin called the Swim Nazi. We can get a private lesson from the Swim Nazi.

[Nate]

They call themselves the Swim.

[Shane]

They're called the Swim Nazi, but she just rolls with it. So she's like, I'm the Swim Nazi. And she's. She's an excellent swimming.

[Nate]

She'll scream at you.

[Shane]

She told my kid, dude, my five year old can swim like. Like swim for real. From the Nazi. She got Nazi training. She got Swim Nazi training.

[Nate]

I had Lamar out here all the time. The mayor's good, like three days a week. We were in there and I was trying to teach him how to swim. There's nothing you could do.

[Shane]

You're training your Pokemon, bro.

[Nate]

I was holding him. I was like, all right, this is gonna be weird. I'm gonna hold you.

[Shane]

He's kick. Lemaire's good in the pool, man.

[Nate]

He's horrendous.

[Lamar]

Me and Matt were in Dania when I was letting it go.

[Nate]

You were in the ocean.

[Shane]

We were, yeah.

[Nate]

Oh, yeah.

[Shane]

We weren't telling you about that.

[Nate]

Yeah, you did. But there's no way he could be past.

[Shane]

Yeah, it was sandbar. It was. Yeah. It was shallow stuff.

[Nate]

Yeah, he can't. He literally cannot swim.

[Shane]

I've seen him in the pool. I've seen him.

[Nate]

That's a three foot pool.

[Shane]

It's true.

[Nate]

If you. If he takes his feet off the ground, he cannot swim.

[Shane]

Oh, no.

[Nate]

Yeah, he fully.

[Shane]

I've seen him, like, go in and glide a little bit.

[Nate]

He can do that for about a second, but yes. And even then he forgets that he can just stand up. So there'll be like a moment of, like. You see him, like, panic underwater. He goes, stand up.

[Shane]

True. You don't think the black swim club will be empowering?

[Lamar]

I don't know.

[Shane]

People, dude, people won't be laughing. They'll be like, this is good.

[Nate]

People are not going to be laughing. We might film it and put it on the Patreon. But strictly to help other black listeners.

[Lamar]

Learn how to swim.

[Shane]

Yeah, Like Just conquer the stigma and the stereotypes destruction.

[Lamar]

Yeah, I'm down. I'm trying to move it on to butterfly.

[Nate]

You need to learn how to just regular.

[Lamar]

I can do this pretty good.

[Nate]

We can get in the pool. The pool's heated right now. We can get in there.

[Lamar]

I can do this good. I can get up and down.

[Shane]

I've seen. I've seen you. I remember going over. He's in practicing. Nate. We gotta get Nate to just. Just trademark that stroke.

[Nate]

Nate's better than Lamar swimming.

[Matt]

Let's see. I can swim a little bit. It's just my ass.

[Shane]

Your ass rises. That's the funniest part.

[Matt]

I think it's just my pop.

[Shane]

Yeah, you go to the other end for sure. I seen you in action. It's just the. The ass coming up. I. I don't know how. It's not even a bathing suit bubble. It's just. It's just your ass.

[Nate]

It is.

[Shane]

Your ass breaches the surface and it's.

[Nate]

So now that you've developed full unk body, your ass has flattened out a little.

[Matt]

It still comes out, though. I don't know what it is. The buoyancy.

[Nate]

It could be good for you.

[Shane]

Sure. It's like the north and South Pole. As the belly grows, the ash rings. It is electromagnetics. Oh, it's the mfs.

[Nate]

You're just being pulled forward.

[Matt]

I haven't. Driving a hybrid. That might be. Actually.

[Shane]

You've been driving the hybrid? Yeah, the EMF might be careful, dude. I saw these guys on Instagram saying you're probably only reducing 9% though, from the hybrid.

[Nate]

Yeah, probably.

[Matt]

That's not. That's good.

[Nate]

That's good.

[Shane]

What's going on with you guys?

[Nate]

Nothing, dude. Just gotta go to the UK this week.

[Shane]

I know.

[Nate]

And I'm bringing O'Connor and DeRosa. I'm bringing two of the hardiest, true alcoholics I know.

[Shane]

Yeah.

[Nate]

It's gonna be really.

[Shane]

Oh, my God.

[Nate]

It's gonna be the most fun.

[Shane]

Those old pubs. I know I've never been to London, but the old pubs are very sick.

[Nate]

It's the coolest thing.

[Shane]

Yeah, I did like that in Australia. Being in like an ancient pub.

[Nate]

It's like Dublin. Dublin's the. I love Dublin. Manchester rules.

[Shane]

I bet. Yeah. Once. Once my family gets old, once the kids get older, I do want to go to bring them all to Europe and go over there. It'd be sick.

[Nate]

That'd be awesome. Yeah. I've never been to Italy. I'd love to go to Italy.

[Shane]

Yeah.

[Nate]

I'd like to go to Rome.

[Shane]

Yeah, you should.

[Nate]

I forgot. I don't have any time.

[Shane]

I know.

[Nate]

I was looking for a beach trip last night. I was like, when do you think we can do this?

[Shane]

And they were like, never.

[Nate]

And then I was. And then I realized I'm kind of going week to week with my schedule.

[Shane]

They showed you.

[Nate]

I was like, can I get a.

[Shane]

Recording Blackmail home video? And they're like, never.

[Nate]

They. Yeah. Now you got a free schedule. You did black swim club and put it on the Internet. The schedule's wide open until 2028.

[Shane]

But you're empowering, dude.

[Nate]

It is empowering. I understand.

[Shane]

Like, oh, yeah. This is what you guys think with your stereotypes. Hit the water, boys.

[Nate]

Wait till you see these two swim, dude.

[Shane]

If Obama Chef had done the black swim club, he'd still be here to this day.

[Nate]

Be al the schedule, though, my agent, manager, I was texting them and I was like, can I just get like, a breakdown of, like, what the rest of the year is like? Because I literally check my own website to find out my dates.

[Shane]

Yeah.

[Nate]

And they're like, yeah, sure. I was like, just kind of game plan this whole year. And they were like, haha, Game plan this whole year. And I was like, yeah, your job. Yeah, it's your job to do that.

[Shane]

Yeah.

[Nate]

And they're like, oh, okay, you're serious. And I was like, yeah, tell me where I'm going.

[Shane]

On, like, a calendar kind of thing.

[Nate]

Just like an email breakdown of, like, month by month. Because there's holes in the schedule for touring, but it's to film.

[Shane]

Yeah. Yeah.

[Nate]

So then I'm like, what's this break? Maybe I can go to Florida with my friends that week. No, they got you holding for something.

[Shane]

Go to fake rehab. Fake fake rehab.

[Nate]

I told you. I've been dreaming. I've been dreaming about rehab for two years now.

[Shane]

It's gonna be sick. It's gonna be.

[Nate]

It's gonna be so nice.

[Shane]

Especially if you go to one of those super nice ones.

[Nate]

Especially. I'm just going to chill. I'm not gonna stop for sure. I'm just going right back out. I'm gonna get wrecked as soon as I get out.

[Shane]

They should have that where it's just like a kind of a pit crew more.

[Nate]

So that's what I. Yeah, that's the dream.

[Shane]

Yeah.

[Nate]

I was like, I just want to go to a resort. It'd be nice if there. If it was like a drag resort and maybe like a healthy thing fully just rehab. I just daydreamed rehab.

[Shane]

It's gotta be.

[Nate]

I mean, light beer rehab is the saddest. That's literally weed re. That's CBD rehab. Light beer rehab is CBD rehab.

[Shane]

You get caught in your room with a party helmet and straws, dude.

[Nate]

Yeah, they lived up a cushion.

[Shane]

That's my body helmet.

[Nate]

No.

[Shane]

Syringes.

[Nate]

It'd be me and dads. It'd be me and a bunch of 60 year old men. And then they're like, oh, it's April. Baseball's on every dude in there going, this is light beer heaven.

[Shane]

He's doing the most inflexible yoga ever.

[Nate]

Yeah, no, that's good though. Being a guy that can stretch is gay. I saw my dad do a split. I'd be like, what the. Check out this flexibility, kids. You go, ew. Yeah, I always any watch baseball and drink a beer, you weirdo.

[Shane]

Anytime I've been told I've been inflexible, I've been like, yes. Like, you're real tight there. I'm like, yeah, dude.

[Nate]

Yeah, of course I am.

[Shane]

Like, no, that's like really bad. You gotta work on that. I'm like, yeah, yeah.

[Nate]

Who gives a.

[Shane]

It's so my. Yeah, my hips are so bad. I'm getting some shoulder flexibility. Back's been nice.

[Nate]

That's nice.

[Shane]

Shoulders, shoulder flexibility. Straight as hell.

[Nate]

That is straight hips.

[Shane]

You ever hear when they're like, you actually keep a lot of pin up emotions in your hips?

[Nate]

Yes.

[Shane]

Yeah, dude, let's keep them in there.

[Nate]

Last thing I wanted. The last thing I want to be is emotional.

[Shane]

Especially from your hips. That would suck. You unleash something from your hips, you're like, no.

[Nate]

That really did hurt my feelings.

[Shane]

I remember that party.

[Nate]

Yeah.

[Shane]

Girls gotta stop stretching. How about that?

[Nate]

Yeah.

[Shane]

Oh, we tighten their hips and butts up, up. Too flexible. That's a problem. They need to keep some of that in their glutes and their it bands.

[Nate]

Yeah, it's time to store that back.

[Shane]

In there, Tighten them up. That'd be weird though, having like an inflexible lady. Like, we kind of. If a lady wants to lift her leg, it was like, yeah. Jesus Christ. Yeah, that would be sad. That'd be disgusting.

[Nate]

Neither of us can flex it. Yeah, we're just trying. We're gonna do standing sex.

[Shane]

Hold on, let me get on top.

[Nate]

Why?

[Shane]

Yeah. Why do I always got to be on the bottom? I might have to start dressing up to see how it feels.

[Nate]

Maybe I'm them, you know?

[Shane]

True.

[Nate]

Maybe they complete me and I am them. So I need to Dress like them and get by a guy that looks.

[Shane]

Like me just to see how it feels.

[Nate]

White Lotus needs to stop.

[Shane]

White Lotus is the best.

[Nate]

It needs to stop.

[Shane]

It's so good.

[Nate]

It's. It's doing too much.

[Shane]

Do you think girls. Girls probably don't like it if you're, like, wearing their clothes?

[Nate]

Oh. Oh, yeah.

[Shane]

If you sort of put on their clothes, they'd love to have that on you. But I don't think, like, would they like that? Would that excite? Would that excite?

[Matt]

I think they pretend to, but be mentally checked out with you.

[Shane]

Yeah. They would go, Jesus Christ.

[Matt]

Now I'm gonna. Yeah.

[Shane]

Just go through your phone and look through all your friends. Like, all right, which one am I gonna switch to? Although. Didn't like. I guess he was just doing it as, like, a party trick. That one boxer.

[Nate]

Yeah.

[Shane]

De La Hoya did it.

[Nate]

He tossed on the fish nets.

[Matt]

I thought he.

[Shane]

I thought he was the real deal.

[Nate]

I think it was the real deal.

[Shane]

That seems. That could be like a liquor, cocaine thing.

[Nate]

I think it was a liquor and cocaine thing. But also, didn't he have, like, professional pictures? Wasn't it, like. No, it was definitely a hooker in a hotel room. Okay.

[Shane]

Okay.

[Matt]

He wanted.

[Nate]

He just wanted fishnets. Boxing. Yeah, it was tough. You've done fishnets.

[Matt]

No, I don't put that on me.

[Nate]

Don't put that on me. AI, people. Nate. Fishnets.

[Shane]

Oh, my God. French maid outfit wouldn't be bad either.

[Nate]

I think he might have hit one of those as well. Did he? Yeah, I think De La Hoya was hitting the. I thought. Is that LeBron one real? In a French made up.

[Matt]

I think he did for, like, Halloween.

[Shane]

He did for Halloween.

[Matt]

I think he. I think he did it for Halloween.

[Shane]

Lemonade.

[Nate]

Oh, my God.

[Shane]

What? For real?

[Nate]

LeBron. John.

[Shane]

Switching gears. Have you seen that? Michelle Obama has a new podcast.

[Nate]

Does he?

[Shane]

Yeah, Switching gears. It's with her brother. I thought it was Craig Robinson.

[Matt]

What's their pot about?

[Shane]

Dude, I don't know. The left is scrambling to dominate the podcast space, and they threw Michelle Obama and her brother at it. Huh. It does. It doesn't get, like, as many views as you think. Huh.

[Brittany]

Think about Michelle Obama getting home and because she knows that people say she's a man all the time. You think she ever, like.

[Nate]

It's really sad about it. Sorry about that. But his name is Craig Robinson.

[Shane]

I know. That's what I'm saying. I thought it was her and the comedian. It's. No, it's her.

[Nate]

I thought you were saying he just looked like him.

[Shane]

No, it's her brother, Craig Robinson.

[Nate]

With Michelle Obama and Craig Robinson. It's her brother. Looks identical, bro. What the. That could be the original Michelle and the. The. And. And that's bad. To try to get the bag for him. I don't mean to start that rumor.

[Shane]

Oh, trust me, brother. I'm sure it's already been.

[Nate]

Yeah, that rumor's out there.

[Shane]

Worst thing you could do. That was the worst possible move. But, yeah, it's probably very hurtful just.

[Brittany]

Thinking about her and just being like, oh, Barack. They're saying, I'm a man again on the Internet.

[Shane]

Because people.

[Nate]

All those people.

[Shane]

That's what I'm saying. That's at least empathy. But Candace thinks about that.

[Brittany]

That's kind of funny.

[Shane]

Yeah.

[Nate]

Is going on Macron still, bro.

[Shane]

She's still ripping on the McCrones.

[Nate]

I haven't been keeping up with the.

[Shane]

She seems confident. I watched her on Theo's podcast, and she is like, I mean, prove me wrong, dude.

[Nate]

Yeah.

[Shane]

She's like, I have all the paperwork filled for all. Like, the. Basically being like, I. She sent the McCrones a yes or no. I mean, which I get. She's like, they didn't even fill it out. It's like. Well, I could see them being like, yeah, I'm not going to fill out the am I a man? Questionnaire from Candace was passed forward from.

[Nate]

A kid sitting behind him in class. Just like, this is Candace. Are you a guy? Check yes or no.

[Shane]

Just, like, draw up by. It's like a legally binding, like, yes or no questionnaire. Like, yo, just answer these questions and we'll drop it. Because they were. I think they were trying to sue. Being like, yo, stop calling my wife a man. She's like, but you. In order for defamation. I think in Europe, the defamation laws are a little different where, like. Like, yeah, you have to be wrong in America. It's flip. It's like vice versa. It's like, well, prove me wrong then, and I'll take the back.

[Nate]

That's right.

[Shane]

So she's getting hit with some friends.

[Nate]

From a Holocaust denying show I watched.

[Shane]

Really?

[Nate]

Yeah. It was a. It was made. It was like a. It's not like I found it. It was. Yeah, it was. I think it was on HBO or something. Yeah.

[Shane]

They were like this.

[Nate]

You know, I mean, this wasn't one of them.

[Shane]

I got you.

[Nate]

Yeah. It wasn't. It wasn't the Kyrie Irving target.

[Shane]

It was just like, straight. It was. This was legit.

[Nate]

Yeah. It was. It was that. It was that case, though. It was like the. It's. It's flip flopped over there. Where? Here? It's like, prove me wrong.

[Shane]

Got.

[Nate]

Yeah, there. It's like, you have to prove you were right. So then they brought a holocaust denier and put him on trial, and he was like, boom. But he did get debunked.

[Shane]

He got.

[Nate]

He got bonked. Yeah, he got bulldogged.

[Shane]

He got bulldog. In a court of A European court of law.

[Nate]

In a European court of law with.

[Shane]

Yeah, yeah, man.

[Nate]

I can stop there.

[Shane]

We had an hour.

[Nate]

Let's go to the Patreon.

[Shane]

Yo, guys. I love you guys.

[Nate]

Goodbye. We love you.

[Shane]

Don't get my bandage in there. It's a.