Ep 552 - The Biggest Pig (feat. Luis J. Gomez)

Summary

Matt and Shane's Secret Podcast: Episode 552 - The Biggest Pig (feat. Luis J. Gomez)
Release Date: March 27, 2025

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Introduction

In Episode 552 of Matt and Shane's Secret Podcast, hosts Matt McCusker and Shane Gillis are joined by comedian Luis J. Gomez. The trio dives into a variety of topics ranging from gaming and testosterone supplementation to discussions about popular TV shows and movies. Their candid and humorous exchanges offer listeners an engaging and entertaining experience.

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Gaming Enthusiasm: Call of Duty and Beast Games

Verdansk Returns to Call of Duty Warzone

The episode kicks off with an enthusiastic discussion about the return of Verdansk, the iconic map from Call of Duty Warzone. Matt expresses his excitement about the upgrade, highlighting its importance for the gaming community.

• Matt McCusker [00:30]: “I like Call of Duty is important, man. Call of Duty is like a... it is for like dudes well-being.”

Luis on MLB The Show

Luis shifts the conversation to MLB The Show, sharing his in-game career journey.

• Luis J. Gomez [00:44]: “I got MLB the Show going myself. I got a career going. Road to the show. Baseball.”

Shane's "Beast Games" Aspirations

Shane reveals his ambition to join Beast Games, discussing the high-stakes nature of the competition and the psychological challenges contestants face.

• Shane Gillis [04:16]: “I applied for Beast Games. I don't know how much I'm allowed to say at this point.”

• Luis J. Gomez [05:02]: “It's a psychotic show.”

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Testosterone Supplementation: High Tea Conversations

The hosts delve into the topic of testosterone ("tea") supplementation, sharing personal experiences and debating its efficacy and societal impacts.

• Shane Gillis [13:22]: “My doctor saying I had the tea of a young lady. He was like, are you a 12?”

• Matt McCusker [15:00]: “I feel like nobody ever thought about this stuff ever before.”

Debating Low T and Societal Pressures

The conversation touches on societal pressures surrounding masculinity and the influence of prominent figures like Joe Rogan in popularizing testosterone supplements.

• Luis J. Gomez [16:23]: “But it all does stem from Rogan. But he was being original, you know?”

• Matt McCusker [22:44]: “I watched a video because they were like, dudes are taking...”

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TV Shows and Movies: Critical Discussions

Analyzing White Lotus and American Beauty

The trio critiques the narratives and controversial scenes in TV shows like White Lotus and movies such as American Beauty, tackling sensitive topics with their trademark humor.

• Shane Gillis [25:08]: “This season's great. This is...”

• Luis J. Gomez [56:03]: “They made it out. They were all right.”

Controversial Content in Media

They discuss the portrayal of underage characters in films like Blue Lagoon, debating the ethical implications and industry practices.

• Shane Gillis [61:02]: “It was so for my. I'm turning 43 next week.”

• Matt McCusker [62:21]: “They had to repopulate the island with southerners.”

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Animal Behavior: Fascinating Insights

From Pigs to Daddy Long Legs

The hosts explore various animal behaviors, sharing amusing anecdotes and intriguing facts about creatures like pigs, crabs, and daddy long legs.

• Louis J. Gomez [30:37]: “You think I have giant nipples?”

• Matt McCusker [43:46]: “I don't think a daddy long leg can spawn legs.”

Humorous Takes on Nature

Their lighthearted take on animal biology adds a fun twist to the episode, keeping listeners entertained with unexpected comparisons and jokes.

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Personal Anecdotes and Listener Engagement

Matt's Couch Shock Incident

Matt shares a humorous story about accidentally triggering shock pads meant for his dog's training, leading to unexpected chaos.

• Matt McCusker [40:05]: “I hit the power button once. Think you'd think like if you hit the power button the thing turns the fuck off.”

• Luis J. Gomez [41:07]: “Maybe it was Maka on the brain, bro.”

Shane's Struggles with Swimming

Shane opens up about his difficulties with swimming, contrasting it with his ease in running, thus highlighting the personal challenges they face outside their comedic narratives.

• Shane Gillis [42:30]: “I can't swim for an hour.”

• Matt McCusker [42:55]: “It's so hard.”

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Promotional Segments (Skipped)

As per the request, advertisements and promotional segments for products like Call of Duty Warzone, Prize Picks, and Universal Pictures were not included in this summary to maintain focus on the episode's core content.

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Conclusion

Episode 552 of Matt and Shane's Secret Podcast is a rollercoaster of laughter, insightful debates, and personal stories. With Luis J. Gomez adding his comedic flair, the hosts successfully navigate through diverse topics, making the episode both entertaining and thought-provoking. Whether discussing high-stakes gaming competitions, the complexities of testosterone supplementation, or the intricacies of animal behavior, Matt and Shane provide a comprehensive and engaging experience for their listeners.

Notable Quotes:

• Matt McCusker [00:30]: “I like Call of Duty is important, man. Call of Duty is like a... it is for like dudes well-being.”
• Luis J. Gomez [05:02]: “It's a psychotic show.”
• Shane Gillis [13:22]: “My doctor saying I had the tea of a young lady. He was like, are you a 12?”
• Matt McCusker [41:07]: “I was like, how's your cut? Did it heal up fully?”
• Shane Gillis [42:30]: “I can't swim for an hour.”

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This summary aims to provide a comprehensive overview of the episode's main discussions and highlights, ensuring both new and returning listeners can grasp the essence of the conversation without needing to tune in.

Transcript

[Shane Gillis]

The wild, wild West.

[Louis J. Gomez]

And hey, we're here live. We're starting now. The beginning of that didn't count.

[Matt McCusker]

Verdansk dance returns the box of rations.

[Louis J. Gomez]

Yeah. What an insane choice that was.

[Shane Gillis]

What?

[Louis J. Gomez]

Say that right away.

[Matt McCusker]

It's pretty crazy.

[Louis J. Gomez]

Verdansk.

[Matt McCusker]

Where is Verdansk? Is that just a made up place in Call of Duty?

[Louis J. Gomez]

Yeah.

[Matt McCusker]

The original map, I think it's.

[Shane Gillis]

It's in the Ukraine. They're getting up. Verdansk, Ukraine.

[Matt McCusker]

I'm excited. I like Call of Duty is important, man. Call of Duty is like a. It is for like dudes well being. I feel like dudes need to play Call of Duty at night time now more than ever, I think.

[Louis J. Gomez]

Yeah.

[Matt McCusker]

Men are lonely.

[Shane Gillis]

It's actually stressful.

[Matt McCusker]

Dejected right now.

[Louis J. Gomez]

I got MLB the Show going myself.

[Matt McCusker]

You what?

[Louis J. Gomez]

I got a career going. Road to the show. Baseball.

[Matt McCusker]

What's going on with it?

[Louis J. Gomez]

Taking Joey Weaver. He got drafted. I went to tcu, played it. They included college baseball in it for the beginning. And that got me school and college.

[Matt McCusker]

You played high school?

[Louis J. Gomez]

I played a little high school baseball.

[Shane Gillis]

Wait, on. On a video game. You're playing as high schoolers.

[Louis J. Gomez]

Don't worry about it.

[Shane Gillis]

That's crazy.

[Louis J. Gomez]

There's nothing I can do. That's when the career starts. What do you want me to do?

[Shane Gillis]

That should be illegal.

[Matt McCusker]

And you were playing as the high school.

[Louis J. Gomez]

You play as girls in Call of Duty. Dude, shut up.

[Shane Gillis]

Dude. I'll be the chick. She's got like vitiligo. Yeah, that's a character you can choose. Is a black chick with vitiligo.

[Matt McCusker]

What?

[Shane Gillis]

Yeah. It's crazy.

[Matt McCusker]

It's kind of choice.

[Louis J. Gomez]

Vitiligo. That's the skin.

[Shane Gillis]

Yeah. Where she's like. Got a natural camouflage. That's why I chose her.

[Louis J. Gomez]

True. The Vitiligo community might be the most over represented community in the world.

[Shane Gillis]

It's a very small percentage.

[Louis J. Gomez]

Every model I look at's got it. Every. You know what I mean? They're everywhere.

[Shane Gillis]

Yeah.

[Louis J. Gomez]

I've never seen one of them in real life.

[Shane Gillis]

I've seen a couple in real life.

[Matt McCusker]

Yeah.

[Louis J. Gomez]

Yeah. Take that back. I think there's that guy that hangs out at the bar by us. I saw a Vigo bro walk in.

[Matt McCusker]

Yeah, I would say there's definitely more. I feel like they're.

[Louis J. Gomez]

They're outside, bro.

[Matt McCusker]

There's more than you think.

[Shane Gillis]

A lot of them wear makeup to hide it. Now it's becoming a thing where they're like normalizing it and you're like, nah, dude. Where Put that. Get that makeup back.

[Louis J. Gomez]

No, normalize it. It's nice. I'm excited when I see. There was a talked about before but there were some albino Indians that worked at the Sbarros in my mall growing up.

[Matt McCusker]

The original Aryans.

[Louis J. Gomez]

And I was very excited to see them.

[Matt McCusker]

What?

[Louis J. Gomez]

Every time I go, holy hell, dude.

[Matt McCusker]

I've never.

[Louis J. Gomez]

That's something 90s. I was like, we don't have any differences in Mechanicsburg.

[Matt McCusker]

I didn't. I never even knew Indians could be albino.

[Louis J. Gomez]

They were.

[Shane Gillis]

Is it.

[Louis J. Gomez]

I can do a. Alligators can be. Anybody can be constrictors.

[Shane Gillis]

Indians.

[Matt McCusker]

That's a fair point. That's exciting. What's like, what was their vibe?

[Louis J. Gomez]

They were great. They were running around, family owned the Sbarros and they were just. They were having a good time and that's genetic.

[Matt McCusker]

Was the fan was like a portion.

[Louis J. Gomez]

A lot of the fam was albino. There's albino kids. And the wall, they were right next to the wall in the food court. So they would just run over there.

[Matt McCusker]

Why do they immigrate to America? Do you think they're being worshiped too much over?

[Louis J. Gomez]

They're probably on one of those 900 foot towers that everyone in the village carries and drops. They keep dropping them. They drop them every day. No, in India there's some ritual where they build like a giant tower that's like a parade float and they carry it and it collapses every time and everyone has to run. I've seen it. It's. It's my algorithm. Is Indian towers collapsing?

[Matt McCusker]

India's sick. India is getting like a lot of recognition right now on social media. Not a lot of. It's great. I'll be honest with. People are being pretty negative towards them.

[Louis J. Gomez]

They were negative for a while. Now they're back.

[Matt McCusker]

I think so. It's pretty.

[Louis J. Gomez]

They survived it. India got canceled for like a month and now they're back. Dude, they're getting that bump.

[Matt McCusker]

Well, dude, Ramaswamy's back. He's going to be like the governor of Ohio, I think.

[Louis J. Gomez]

Yeah. Ramaswami is giving it a shot.

[Matt McCusker]

Bounce back. He was going to be president but then he spazzed on Twitter. Now he's governor of Ohio. Not bad. Yeah, not bad. He's got a lot of time.

[Shane Gillis]

Shoot for the moon.

[Matt McCusker]

Yeah, exactly.

[Shane Gillis]

Yeah.

[Louis J. Gomez]

Where's Casey end up in fucking Ohio. Aim for the stars.

[Matt McCusker]

Yeah.

[Louis J. Gomez]

And you'll land in Ohio. Well, it's good to be here with Louis J. Gomez.

[Shane Gillis]

Thanks, Shane. I missed you, buddy.

[Louis J. Gomez]

I missed you too.

[Shane Gillis]

It's been too long.

[Louis J. Gomez]

It has.

[Shane Gillis]

What you've been up to me just working hard, man. Working hard. I told you guys I applied for Beast Games.

[Louis J. Gomez]

Applying for Beast Games.

[Matt McCusker]

Apply for Beast Games.

[Shane Gillis]

I applied for.

[Louis J. Gomez]

That's why we move it up a little. He's got a. He's got a meeting this afternoon to apply for a Beast. Game change.

[Shane Gillis]

I don't know how much I'm allowed to say at this point.

[Matt McCusker]

What are the channel? What are the challenges?

[Shane Gillis]

I don't know. Right now they have a gun to my son's head. Like, how much? $5,000. Let me pull the trigger.

[Matt McCusker]

What's the layout of that show? I didn't watch it yet.

[Louis J. Gomez]

Is it more layout is. It was great. There's like. Everyone's in the same room and they offer your row. Like you can eliminate your entire row and take the bribe. The money. Yeah, but then everyone else in your row is eliminated and you get to get up to like150,000. And people are like, no, I'm staying.

[Matt McCusker]

I love you.

[Shane Gillis]

Got up to a million.

[Louis J. Gomez]

I love you. They did this the entire time. The million thing made me want to come's crazy.

[Shane Gillis]

As soon as they hit $100,000 like you.

[Louis J. Gomez]

This is what I've been laughing about. I hope you get the show and you bail on five bucks. Eliminate 100 people. Go 10 bucks.

[Matt McCusker]

What if they counter eliminate you? How does that work?

[Louis J. Gomez]

You're out. You get nothing and you're. You're done.

[Shane Gillis]

You could walk out with no.

[Louis J. Gomez]

It's a psychotic show.

[Shane Gillis]

$10 million was the grand prize on season one.

[Matt McCusker]

But how do you get it though? I don't understand if.

[Louis J. Gomez]

Then there's a bunch of challenges. But the first thing to eliminate half the contestants was like people being greedy and taking it and eliminating everybody. But the whole time everybody was going, I love you, dude. I'll never. They just met.

[Shane Gillis]

Yeah, dude. Within the first hour there's people crying. It's.

[Louis J. Gomez]

Everyone's crying.

[Shane Gillis]

It's crazy. It's actually crazy.

[Louis J. Gomez]

Sacrificing themselves. They'll be like, I'll get eliminated for you, dude. Go win this.

[Shane Gillis]

You don't know each other.

[Louis J. Gomez]

They've never met. These are the most insane. You're gonna fit right in. It's gonna be nuts. The out of someone for taking the bribe. You're gonna go inside. You cannot be.

[Shane Gillis]

Did you see the one where they're in Cube? Did you watch the whole thing?

[Louis J. Gomez]

I watched. Hold on. Was the Cube with three people going in water? The guy who didn't take a million got eliminated over, like, a sandwich. So at one point, each group, there's like four groups of 100 people. Maybe they have to pick one person that they think is trustworthy that won't take the bribe. Because if you take the bribe, your entire team is eliminated and you get to stay and a chance to win. So they. They have four. Three or four people on the platform. They're offered a million dollars.

[Shane Gillis]

So it starts off thousand dollars, and then it's gonna keep. There you go. It's just gonna keep rising. And if you hit the button, you take the. The. The money, your whole team gets eliminated.

[Louis J. Gomez]

Like, which helps you.

[Shane Gillis]

Which. And then you stay in, which helps you get a chance to win to a million dollars. And all four leaders didn't take the million dollars.

[Louis J. Gomez]

They're crying again. They're all doing this again.

[Shane Gillis]

Yeah.

[Louis J. Gomez]

When did that.

[Matt McCusker]

Are there 99 people watching you?

[Louis J. Gomez]

Yes. They're all like, don't do it, please. And there's just guys up there like, I love you guys so much.

[Matt McCusker]

How did they pick the trustworthy people?

[Louis J. Gomez]

They pick the most insane.

[Shane Gillis]

Yeah. They all vote who they think is the most trustworthy. I would, dude. That's my thing. I got to get in in the first couple episodes, act like I'm a sweetheart.

[Matt McCusker]

You got to pick up, like, a $20 bill. Like, someone drop this.

[Louis J. Gomez]

This isn't mine anyway. I'm just going to leave it here. I would never do that.

[Matt McCusker]

Care about this stuff. That would be standing in front of 99 people. You just, like, A, kicked off a TV and B, like, just dash their hopes of making millions of dollars would be a pretty interesting feeling.

[Shane Gillis]

Yeah.

[Matt McCusker]

Stand in front of that. Go.

[Louis J. Gomez]

Not doing it is the dumbest thing.

[Matt McCusker]

Yeah.

[Louis J. Gomez]

Ever.

[Shane Gillis]

Yeah. Because at that point, it's supposed to be one person winning $5 million, and.

[Louis J. Gomez]

Yeah. The end result is everyone gets eliminated except one person.

[Matt McCusker]

Yeah, exactly. Who won the whole thing.

[Louis J. Gomez]

I didn't finish it.

[Shane Gillis]

You wanted to give a spoiler. Sure.

[Matt McCusker]

It's beast Game still ongoing.

[Shane Gillis]

Now the first season's done. But the guy who won his, he was like, it's really nice guy. His kids got some disease. Some, like, creatine deficiency disorder. And he's like, dude, he's like, I'm gonna use this entire $10 million to cure my son's disease. You're like, that's a good guy.

[Louis J. Gomez]

Yeah.

[Shane Gillis]

That guy should win the game. I'm gonna buy a jet and hookers. So I'm gonna spend all my money on hookers from Verdansk. And I'm gonna fly them in. Yeah.

[Matt McCusker]

Wait, the sun can't, like, produce creatine?

[Shane Gillis]

I guess it's something. I don't know.

[Louis J. Gomez]

He must not have gone to high school with me. All we did was bul.

[Matt McCusker]

I really used to think creatine was steroids. I thought creatine was, like, an insane thing.

[Louis J. Gomez]

I had no idea it was a natural thing in your body.

[Matt McCusker]

Yeah. Like, it's apparently something you, like, kind of have to take. I've learned.

[Shane Gillis]

Yeah. I take it. So do I. I don't know what it is.

[Matt McCusker]

I can tell. I can tell you take it, too, by the way.

[Shane Gillis]

You can tell. I'm getting all swollen.

[Louis J. Gomez]

You did get jacked full of water.

[Matt McCusker]

You look like me.

[Shane Gillis]

That's why you look like I'm drowned.

[Matt McCusker]

Damn. So he used the whole 10 mil.

[Louis J. Gomez]

You're taking crazy.

[Matt McCusker]

I'm taking creatine.

[Shane Gillis]

God damn, man.

[Matt McCusker]

Taking so much. I've been taking every day. Yeah, I like it.

[Louis J. Gomez]

You're all over it. That's good. Hey, Matt. This episode is brought to you by Prize Picks. I'm pumped for opening day. It's good to see some Phillies baseball again. Hopefully our bullpen improves with Jesus Lizardo.

[Matt McCusker]

Speaking of pitching for the Phillies, what was throwing out the first pitch like?

[Louis J. Gomez]

I'll tell you what, I was probably more nervous about that than hosting SNL. I just didn't want to end up.

[Matt McCusker]

Like 50 Cent and get shot 9 times or what happened.

[Louis J. Gomez]

If I had to do it again, I'd take myself more than one nervous breakdown throwing out the first pitch. Citizens bank park, baby. Book it.

[Matt McCusker]

Wow. That dude. This week on Price Picks, I'm going with. I think I want to go with the Orlando Magic.

[Louis J. Gomez]

You got to pick an individual.

[Matt McCusker]

Oh, okay.

[Louis J. Gomez]

I'm going to go. Let's go. Let's go. Bryce Harper. There we go.

[Matt McCusker]

More, More. I was. I'm trying to figure who's a good player from the or. Orlando Magic. I was going to start broad and narrow.

[Louis J. Gomez]

Victor Oladipo.

[Matt McCusker]

Victor Oladipo.

[Louis J. Gomez]

Less Penny Hardaway, more Shaq. All right, you heard our picks. Now it's time to lock yours in with prize picks. I'm telling you, these guys are legit. I love Prize picks. I've been messing around on the app, and it's super simple. You just pick more or less on two or more players for your shot to win up to a thousand times your cash.

[Matt McCusker]

I've been messing around that app big time. You can talk to guys on that app.

[Louis J. Gomez]

Really?

[Matt McCusker]

Yeah.

[Louis J. Gomez]

You can talk to Fella, you cannot talk to the other guys, unfortunately, but.

[Matt McCusker]

That is more or less.

[Louis J. Gomez]

That is not part of the ad. That's something. Me and Matt are considering pitching two prize picks. Let us talk amongst each other.

[Matt McCusker]

That'd be fun.

[Louis J. Gomez]

Little nice to chat with guys.

[Matt McCusker]

Chat. Meet up on price picks you can miss. Did you already do this one?

[Louis J. Gomez]

No, you got it.

[Matt McCusker]

On prize picks, you can mix and match player projections from different sports. Combine your favorite basketball players with players from baseball, hockey, esports and much more. Prize picks is the best place to win cash while watching Sports. Join over 10 million users and sign up today. Download the app today and use code drench to get $50 instantly after you play your first five dollar lineup. Price picks. Run your game.

[Louis J. Gomez]

Run your game.

[Matt McCusker]

Must be present in certain states. Visit prizepix.com for restrictions and details.

[Louis J. Gomez]

It's time to run your game.

[Matt McCusker]

Me and Lewis are stacking right now.

[Louis J. Gomez]

We're t max Jack.

[Matt McCusker]

No, we're t maxing right now. We're both trying to do endogenous t maxers.

[Louis J. Gomez]

What's that?

[Matt McCusker]

Just boost your tea with like adaptogens.

[Louis J. Gomez]

What's an adaptogen?

[Matt McCusker]

It's like an herb. Anything, like anything. A natural substance. Basically. Adaptogen is just like a word for nerve.

[Shane Gillis]

Your body, your body adapts to the.

[Matt McCusker]

Yeah, it just gens it up.

[Shane Gillis]

Yeah, but.

[Matt McCusker]

Yeah, but dude, I've been taking maca maka, shilajitajit and moringa.

[Louis J. Gomez]

And moringa, bro.

[Matt McCusker]

I woke up this morning with a bone.

[Shane Gillis]

You're doing the merengue.

[Matt McCusker]

It's my third day on it. I woke up for real, like afflicted. Just kind of like.

[Louis J. Gomez]

I don't know. I didn't take anything in the whole. I flew home from London. I was hard for 11 hour flight. I had a boner. The whole.

[Shane Gillis]

You want to go rub one out?

[Louis J. Gomez]

It was great. I considered a private jet. No, I. I wasn't on a private jet.

[Shane Gillis]

I was just. But I jerk off on almost, almost every flight I'm on. Whatever it is with my. The way I said I have fat thighs. So it just feels like my dick is inside of something and I just get turned on by sitting for that long and I gotta get one out. I shoot it right into the sink.

[Matt McCusker]

The sink.

[Shane Gillis]

The sink. I'll usually line with paper towels and then I, you know, the sink is diabolical. Come on.

[Matt McCusker]

Look, I've been there with you before, brother. I'm saying hit the turret or like a napkin or something. The sink is crazy sometimes. Like you're Saying, I've had that, like, crazy flight boner.

[Louis J. Gomez]

This is the closest I've considered. And it was 11 hours, bro. I would take a nap, I'd wake up. It'd be harder.

[Shane Gillis]

It'd be 11 hours. I would have jacked off five times.

[Matt McCusker]

It was close on a flight. Will say, you're. It's a quick one, fast one, quick one.

[Shane Gillis]

Yeah, you shoot it. And also, my head hurts immediately for some reason, like, a really nasty headache after.

[Matt McCusker]

It's probably because of all, like, the pills you took to get, like, super hard, like, stim. It's probably, like, a stem fap thing. Maybe you're taking, like, molly and.

[Shane Gillis]

No, I don't take drugs anymore. I stopped smoking weed five months ago.

[Matt McCusker]

Are you totally straight edge?

[Shane Gillis]

No, I drank here. I shouldn't have, but now I'm back to not drinking again. This was a lot.

[Matt McCusker]

What was the thing that sparked this? What sparked your.

[Shane Gillis]

Like, I wanted to raise my tea.

[Matt McCusker]

But what, like, what brought it to your attention?

[Shane Gillis]

My doctor saying I had the tea of a young lady. He was like, are you a 12?

[Louis J. Gomez]

Every single dude I've ever talked to is like, yeah, I have no Testosterone.

[Shane Gillis]

I was 339 was my testosterone number. I don't even know what that means.

[Louis J. Gomez]

I'm telling you, I have no idea. Whoever the big T salesmen are, it was Joe Rogan. They're making money. I've never talked to one guy that's gotten his tea. Check that isn't like, dude, I was.

[Shane Gillis]

Talking about this on the podcast.

[Louis J. Gomez]

That's why I'm tired all the time. It's like, no, you're just getting old. You're tired.

[Shane Gillis]

I was talking.

[Matt McCusker]

I've never podcast.

[Shane Gillis]

And Tony Hinchcliffe was like. He's like, I'm gonna set you up with my tea guy. I was like, it's okay, Tony. I'm not taking your testosterone.

[Matt McCusker]

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[Shane Gillis]

Close your eyes and open your mouth. I'm gonna give it to you.

[Matt McCusker]

What are your plans, though? What are you trying to get your tea up to?

[Louis J. Gomez]

You want to be more aggressive?

[Shane Gillis]

I wanna. I wanna.

[Matt McCusker]

I wanna be more horny.

[Shane Gillis]

I want to jerk off more.

[Louis J. Gomez]

Horniest, angriest guy I've ever met. You have too much tea.

[Shane Gillis]

No, I know.

[Louis J. Gomez]

The doctor was lying.

[Shane Gillis]

Dude.

[Louis J. Gomez]

I've never met someone with more tea. You're high, screaming and dude coming.

[Shane Gillis]

Chill out with the tea.

[Louis J. Gomez]

It's all you do. If there was a Mucinex commercial for tea, you'd be the music guy.

[Matt McCusker]

I would not have you pegged for low T. Did you, like. You know, it was.

[Shane Gillis]

It was so for my. I'm turning 43 next week. It was the lower. Lower end of average for my age.

[Matt McCusker]

Yeah. But did you, like, sleep bad the night before all that? I know that stuff affects it maybe.

[Shane Gillis]

I don't know. I mean, it was, you know.

[Matt McCusker]

Well, you can't hurt you if you're just taking, like, maca and stuff.

[Shane Gillis]

I'm taking. I'm taking Tonga Ali. That's my.

[Matt McCusker]

Tonga Ali is nice, too.

[Shane Gillis]

Yeah. Yeah, that's my.

[Matt McCusker]

How did it work on you?

[Shane Gillis]

I think so. I'm getting my teeth tested on April 3, so we'll see if I've raised my testosterone levels.

[Matt McCusker]

Nice. I feel like nobody ever thought about this stuff ever before.

[Louis J. Gomez]

No. For sure.

[Matt McCusker]

People were mostly fine.

[Louis J. Gomez]

Yeah.

[Matt McCusker]

Yeah. You know what I mean?

[Shane Gillis]

Like, it was too much information. We know too much. We were. We were all good. But before we had social media and we can communicate. We used to be able to talk to six people. Nobody was comparing tea. Nobody was talking about anything.

[Matt McCusker]

You don't even know what it was. I didn't even know, like. And also, I think it's a kind of a gift from God that it drops off as you get older. That's the last thing you need.

[Louis J. Gomez]

Yeah.

[Matt McCusker]

Is to have, like, high tea and be like, 50. It's just like you're setting yourself up for the most potent disaster ever.

[Louis J. Gomez]

The thing with it, it's like. I think it's the. The manosphere. Podcasts have really a lot of people up.

[Matt McCusker]

Yeah.

[Louis J. Gomez]

But it all does stem from Rogan. But he was being original, you know? I mean, he's just like, now be. Those were his interests. And he got so popular that it's every dude in America's interest.

[Matt McCusker]

That's a fair Point.

[Louis J. Gomez]

He's like, I love Jiu Jitsu. T. Space. Space is nuts.

[Matt McCusker]

I've been on the space train since a young man. I used to read astronomy. Yeah. I swear to Stromany all the time, dudes.

[Shane Gillis]

Space animals. Animals attacking you. Animals attacking each other.

[Louis J. Gomez]

I've been on Animals attacking you since I was a young lad.

[Shane Gillis]

Animals do rule.

[Louis J. Gomez]

Animals rock.

[Matt McCusker]

I will say the tea is nice for end of life if you want to. I. I really want to save it till I'm like. I'm gonna really feel a dip to, like, the lowest possible. Pretty much borderline trans.

[Louis J. Gomez]

Yeah.

[Matt McCusker]

And then just like a Phoenix out of the ashes.

[Shane Gillis]

Yeah.

[Matt McCusker]

Just be sitting there one day being like. And it's like, it's time. And just. Just take so much tea and.

[Shane Gillis]

Yeah. No, I'm not gonna lean into my body. I wouldn't. I wouldn't eject. I'm not gonna put a needle into my body.

[Matt McCusker]

You have to. The pills are going to fry your liver.

[Shane Gillis]

No. Well, I don't take pills. I take a little powder.

[Matt McCusker]

You do a little patch, a little.

[Shane Gillis]

Little powder.

[Matt McCusker]

Loretta horn. So if they made. If they made a snortable tea, I would do it. Actually.

[Shane Gillis]

That's a more fun way to do it.

[Matt McCusker]

That would be. That would just be. Boss. You could probably snore.

[Shane Gillis]

Creatine. I bet you it would go into your body the exact same way. I'll do a line of creatine with you right now.

[Matt McCusker]

I think more people have snorted creatine than they realize that's a common cut for cocaine.

[Louis J. Gomez]

Really?

[Matt McCusker]

Oh, yeah. Creatine is like, maybe. See? Yeah.

[Shane Gillis]

Creatine drip.

[Matt McCusker]

A lot of people love it. Have snorted creatine without realizing.

[Shane Gillis]

Get the creatine.

[Louis J. Gomez]

Right now.

[Shane Gillis]

On the show. What a fun. What a fun bit.

[Louis J. Gomez]

I bet Call of Duty would love that. You just do lines off that load box or whatever that is.

[Matt McCusker]

That's what it's for. Bumping creatine off it would be kind of nasty.

[Louis J. Gomez]

We got a Call of Duty sponsor, baby.

[Matt McCusker]

We did it.

[Louis J. Gomez]

T. Dosage, bro. A little bump, bro.

[Shane Gillis]

Machine. You got high tea?

[Louis J. Gomez]

No, I don't think I do.

[Shane Gillis]

Yeah, you do.

[Louis J. Gomez]

Super high.

[Shane Gillis]

You haven't had it tested?

[Louis J. Gomez]

No, That's.

[Matt McCusker]

That's a sign of high tea.

[Shane Gillis]

Yeah. You're like, I know. I don't need to have some doctor tell me.

[Louis J. Gomez]

I've also. I've been doing my best. Stop being a crybaby.

[Matt McCusker]

What do you mean?

[Louis J. Gomez]

I've always. I mean, we always talk about it, but I was just. You get done With a long weekend, like I was in the uk, I was totally exhausted. I came back home and I was like, I was like, am I doing again? Dude? Obviously I'm just hungover. So I'm sad. But it's like, yeah, cut it out.

[Matt McCusker]

Although with high tea comes high estrogen because they do kind of couple.

[Louis J. Gomez]

Oh, really?

[Matt McCusker]

Yeah. If you have high tea, you usually have high estrogen as well.

[Louis J. Gomez]

Yeah.

[Matt McCusker]

Because you have. Your body has to. And that's why steroid like bodybuilders, they take estrogen blockers because your estrogen raises with the tea.

[Louis J. Gomez]

Is that why they get titties?

[Matt McCusker]

I don't know. Maybe. Could be, could be. Or maybe they're just in the gym working on it. Maybe they just worked hard and finally got the results. Tits.

[Louis J. Gomez]

Rocking tits.

[Matt McCusker]

I'd be in the gym like crazy if I could get woman's tits on my butt. National.

[Louis J. Gomez]

You can, dude. You ever see those, like jacked.

[Matt McCusker]

They have really?

[Louis J. Gomez]

It's funny sometimes. Yeah. I'll see a dude in a movie like that's supposed to be like a jacked ripped guy and he is. It's just because his pecs are gigantic. But just a smooth set of woman's tits.

[Matt McCusker]

Damn.

[Louis J. Gomez]

Yeah.

[Shane Gillis]

Small nipples.

[Louis J. Gomez]

Yeah. Tiny nipples.

[Matt McCusker]

Yeah. Dude's nipples poking out of their shirt is for real. Like the opposite effect. I see a dude's nipples out of their shirt, I'm like, bro, yeah. A woman is like, this is. What have I done? Deserve nipples on a guy?

[Louis J. Gomez]

I mean these dry fit polos, this nipples, It's a nipple show.

[Shane Gillis]

Yeah.

[Matt McCusker]

Your nipples aren't poking out.

[Louis J. Gomez]

Not right now, but I'll get them going. If you were to broaden that AC kicks on.

[Shane Gillis]

Do you ever run, you ever run in the cold and then like your shirt rubs against your nipples? Your. Your nipples get all chafed?

[Matt McCusker]

That hurts.

[Shane Gillis]

It hurts like hell.

[Matt McCusker]

I get that. Normally if I wear like the wrong. If I got a shirt with like a patched on logo, my nipples get. Or a dress shirt.

[Louis J. Gomez]

You have giant nipples.

[Matt McCusker]

You think I have giant nipples?

[Louis J. Gomez]

No, I don't.

[Matt McCusker]

My nipples are.

[Louis J. Gomez]

You have perfectly normal nipples.

[Matt McCusker]

They're perfectly normal.

[Louis J. Gomez]

Dude, put that on.

[Matt McCusker]

Someone put that on.

[Louis J. Gomez]

You have like.

[Matt McCusker]

I instantly believed it. I was like, I guess I do.

[Louis J. Gomez]

No, you.

[Shane Gillis]

I have beautiful nipples.

[Matt McCusker]

You have big nipples.

[Shane Gillis]

No, I have nice little, little Puerto Rican nipples.

[Matt McCusker]

Do you really?

[Shane Gillis]

Little brown, little brown pepperonis?

[Louis J. Gomez]

Yeah.

[Matt McCusker]

Yeah.

[Louis J. Gomez]

You've been sending me some shirtless.

[Shane Gillis]

I have sent Shane some shirtless picks.

[Louis J. Gomez]

Every time he makes progress in the gym. I think it's just for me.

[Shane Gillis]

Yeah.

[Louis J. Gomez]

I think you go to the gym to be like, Shane, check what I've. Check what I've done to my post.

[Matt McCusker]

Immediate post. Pump picture.

[Shane Gillis]

Oh, yeah.

[Matt McCusker]

Yeah. It's the best.

[Shane Gillis]

I do it in the. Dude from. I get in the steam room, I come out, I have a glistening glaze on my body, bro. And I send it to Shane. I'm like, look at this, bro.

[Louis J. Gomez]

This is nothing. Sam Hyde has been sending me nothing but pictures and facetimes from when he's in the sauna and he puts the phone at his feet and goes, it's the scariest dude.

[Shane Gillis]

I wish I had that confidence. Because Sam Hyde specifically tries to make himself as ugly as possible. I'm like, he just has whatever it is. Like, the. The way he's wired. He's like, no, no. I'm gonna look at, like, the biggest ugly freak.

[Louis J. Gomez]

Every time I did stop.

[Matt McCusker]

Yeah, he's it for sure.

[Shane Gillis]

Oh, he's super high, too.

[Matt McCusker]

That's like. Yeah, that's a problem. Yeah, super high.

[Shane Gillis]

Tape too much.

[Matt McCusker]

Super.

[Louis J. Gomez]

No way. You're low tea. Go back and fight the doctors.

[Shane Gillis]

I'm gonna. I'm gonna go.

[Louis J. Gomez]

That's the proof of it.

[Shane Gillis]

Yeah. I tried to get him to put me on testosterone. He was like, no, it's any like, a scam, like, where. He was trying to get me to, like. He was like, no. He was like, you smoke and drink every day. He was like, stop doing that.

[Louis J. Gomez]

Yeah, but getting rid of smoking and drinking is low T. As a low tx. That's literally a girl decision. You drink too much. Shut up. That's the low.

[Matt McCusker]

That's the slow sell, too. To be like, dude, I'm on your side. He's gonna do the same thing.

[Louis J. Gomez]

Yeah.

[Matt McCusker]

He's gonna print like a, like, furniture fax off his printer. Like, oh, yeah, dude, you actually dropped. That's crazy. You're.

[Shane Gillis]

He's like, on the semen scale.

[Matt McCusker]

But that's cool. Yeah, that'll be fun. It is cool to look forward to. I say it all the time, man. Like, if you get older, you can just smash the T button and go nuts. Yeah, just go, yo, do double. Whatever they say. Just go. Double that up.

[Louis J. Gomez]

Double that up. See what the happened?

[Matt McCusker]

I watched a video because they were like, dudes are taking. I watched this last night. They're saying a lot of dudes are finding out theirs are average and taking it. And they're like, you. It's only for people who are very low.

[Shane Gillis]

Yeah. Well, I think really, if you're high tea. Taking more tea doesn't really bring your tea up, right?

[Matt McCusker]

I don't know.

[Shane Gillis]

Neither.

[Matt McCusker]

Also, there's a question of absorbing it. You could put it in there. You might not be able to absorb it, so whatever. That'd be cool. I think it'll be a lot of it too. Would just be nice. If I'm getting injected by anything by a doctor, I'm gonna be like, oh, yeah, yeah. Hell yeah.

[Shane Gillis]

You like it?

[Matt McCusker]

Yeah, I would like that.

[Shane Gillis]

I hate it. I hate taking blood. I hate taking needles.

[Matt McCusker]

Yeah, I'm not a big fan, actually.

[Shane Gillis]

Can't do it.

[Matt McCusker]

This would be like a needle in your butt, I'm pretty sure.

[Shane Gillis]

Okay, I could do that.

[Matt McCusker]

No, I'm not trying to be like, you're making it hot.

[Shane Gillis]

Yeah.

[Matt McCusker]

Put a knee. You put a needle on your butt cheek week. That's all.

[Shane Gillis]

I'm very self conscious about my ass, so it's kind of flabby.

[Louis J. Gomez]

What?

[Shane Gillis]

The doctor's gonna do it. My butt sucks. Are you serious, dude?

[Louis J. Gomez]

This is also another female psyop. Should not have sculpted.

[Shane Gillis]

No, I should have a nice. I bet, dude. I bet ass is a thing of beauty.

[Matt McCusker]

I got a peach.

[Louis J. Gomez]

I admired Matt's dog several times.

[Matt McCusker]

I got a tight little peach.

[Louis J. Gomez]

He does have a nice donk.

[Shane Gillis]

Yeah.

[Louis J. Gomez]

I was watching a white lotus, and the guy comes in a lady. He has a giant sculpted ass.

[Matt McCusker]

I was like, e. Who, the Schwarzenegger?

[Louis J. Gomez]

No, the guy when she. One of the Russian guys.

[Matt McCusker]

Oh, yeah, yeah.

[Louis J. Gomez]

And he had a jacked ass. And I was sitting here by myself, and I was like, dude, the is that. Dude, it's the guy's butt. Rather see his dog.

[Matt McCusker]

You're on a flight from London. You're like, jesus, will it ever end?

[Louis J. Gomez]

Is not going away. Did you. Did you watch that?

[Matt McCusker]

Yeah, I'm caught up.

[Louis J. Gomez]

It's the funniest thing possible. Unbelievable, kid. There was a clip recently I saw online of him, like, finding out he was in White Lotus with his family, and he, like, crying and be like, yes.

[Matt McCusker]

Oh, no.

[Shane Gillis]

He's also at a White Lotus style resort. His rich family's at, like, a beautiful resort. Yeah.

[Louis J. Gomez]

I thought it was on set.

[Shane Gillis]

Yeah. That's funny.

[Louis J. Gomez]

Yeah.

[Matt McCusker]

Oh, my God.

[Louis J. Gomez]

But then you get the script and you go, I mean, what else? Hold on.

[Matt McCusker]

What is he. I know, dude, you're gonna jerk your brother off. Although, dude, I will say he's been. I'm so impressed by him. His act is unbelievable.

[Shane Gillis]

No, he's really good.

[Matt McCusker]

He's unbelievable.

[Shane Gillis]

This season's great. This is. I mean, the first four episodes blue. But now we're getting.

[Louis J. Gomez]

Now we're cooking.

[Shane Gillis]

Now we're cooking. Episode five, episode six. It's really just brothers jerking each other off. Now I'm.

[Louis J. Gomez]

But that's the funniest thing possible. Possible.

[Shane Gillis]

It's hilarious.

[Matt McCusker]

It's unbelievable.

[Shane Gillis]

They kiss and I was like, that's not that bad, bro.

[Louis J. Gomez]

If his dad would have blown his head off, that would have been the funniest day ever.

[Matt McCusker]

That's.

[Louis J. Gomez]

You got jacked off by your brother, came home, and your dad, you always.

[Shane Gillis]

Think it's because he knew. You're like, dude, this is definitely my fault.

[Louis J. Gomez]

100.

[Shane Gillis]

Yeah.

[Matt McCusker]

It's also so sick being like, yeah, we blacked out. I don't remember anything. And just carrying the memory the entire time of being like. When the girls confront him and he's just like, that didn't happen. Like, no, I watched it. And he's like, like, can we just stop talking about this right now?

[Louis J. Gomez]

I. Yeah. I don't know. Well, you have to kill yourself. That whole family might Suicide.

[Matt McCusker]

Yeah.

[Louis J. Gomez]

My mom was talking about it. She was like, I can't live any other way. I'd kill myself.

[Shane Gillis]

Yeah. She might be the best character on the show.

[Matt McCusker]

Unbelievable.

[Shane Gillis]

Yeah. Parker Posey. She's hilarious.

[Louis J. Gomez]

I got a theory of what's gonna happen.

[Matt McCusker]

Do you really?

[Louis J. Gomez]

Because this.

[Shane Gillis]

I heard a good theory too, from.

[Louis J. Gomez]

It's gonna be Goggins and the bulldogger go to try to with that guy. The guy they've been trying to with.

[Matt McCusker]

Yeah.

[Louis J. Gomez]

And then there's gonna be a shooting at the place. And I think that sweet guard is gonna be the one to set it. He's gonna get popped trying to protect his babe.

[Matt McCusker]

I had the. My theory right now is the younger brother or the older brother wants to keep that rumor at bay because those two girls know. So he might want to murders these. I think so.

[Shane Gillis]

That's a fair one theory from one of my producers. They think a monkey gets a hold of the gun because they keep on showing.

[Louis J. Gomez]

I had a feeling somebody from Legion of Skanks was going to come up with the dumbest.

[Shane Gillis]

Could be.

[Matt McCusker]

Could be multiple shooters. It could be, I don't know. He brings his gun back from Bangkok and then he hears maybe a suicide shot go off. He thinking it's the other guy and he fires. There could be multiple gunmen all firing at each other.

[Shane Gillis]

You don't think it could be monkeys?

[Louis J. Gomez]

I hope it's monkeys.

[Shane Gillis]

I hope it's monkeys.

[Louis J. Gomez]

It'd be the funniest thing. We just got to watch a family fall apart and then get killed by a monkey. That'd be great.

[Matt McCusker]

Yeah.

[Louis J. Gomez]

You got jerked off by your brother, and then a monkey shot you.

[Matt McCusker]

True.

[Shane Gillis]

I. But I can get past being jerked off by my brother. If we were both blacked out on drugs, no chance.

[Matt McCusker]

But you. He remembers drugs.

[Shane Gillis]

It's not you.

[Louis J. Gomez]

It's like you guys chose to do away. Never, ever.

[Shane Gillis]

I don't have a brother. Maybe I have to have a brother.

[Matt McCusker]

Yeah.

[Louis J. Gomez]

Do you have a sister?

[Shane Gillis]

I have a sister.

[Louis J. Gomez]

You imagine doing drugs and her jerking you off? Yes, I would kill myself.

[Matt McCusker]

That's different. But still, us, your brother jerking you off. I mean, it's not ideal.

[Louis J. Gomez]

I don't have a brother. I can't.

[Matt McCusker]

I mean, dude, I, like, was watching sisters.

[Louis J. Gomez]

It's all hell.

[Matt McCusker]

It's hell for sure. But, dude, having a brother, dude, it's crazy.

[Louis J. Gomez]

You and baby Billy.

[Matt McCusker]

That's crazy.

[Shane Gillis]

It's.

[Matt McCusker]

I was sitting there with. Where I was watching it last night with Brittany, and she was like. I was like, dude, he's, like, visibly sick, and she's like, do you think you would get sick from that? I thought about it, immediately felt sick, and I was like, yeah, I guess so. I was like, yeah, that made my. It turned my stomach immediately.

[Louis J. Gomez]

Yeah. It would suck if it was one of your boys.

[Matt McCusker]

Exactly.

[Louis J. Gomez]

But, you know, if, like, you and me did something and I. And, you know, you ended up, you.

[Matt McCusker]

Know, something, like, our situation would be different. Our situation would be different if we.

[Louis J. Gomez]

Like, kiss just to make it a funny joke, and then you ended up stroking me. That'd be hilarious. Crazy.

[Matt McCusker]

Our situation would be different.

[Louis J. Gomez]

Yeah, our situation. We'd have a different sitch.

[Matt McCusker]

Yeah, that'd be different. He was his. His brother. To be fair to your point, Louis, his brother was plowing, so there was a woman involved.

[Louis J. Gomez]

So it's just the south park episode with the aliens. Would you see that one where they're like, oh, God, you sucking my. With, like, the Jewish aliens?

[Matt McCusker]

No, I didn't see that.

[Louis J. Gomez]

That's great. Turns out Earth is a reality show in these aliens are coming to cancel it, which is just. They're gonna blow up Earth, and then the boys go and hang out with them, and they start doing blow, and they suck each other anyway. That's what it reminds me of. Just a hangover, the next day being like, oh, my God, what'd we do?

[Matt McCusker]

Yeah, you do have to bury it and move on. Like, that was a. You. You could. You could file that under, like, that was a truly wild night. Yeah.

[Shane Gillis]

If it was, like, if they're completely sober, I would understand, like, wanting to kill yourself and, like.

[Matt McCusker]

Yeah.

[Shane Gillis]

But it's like, you know, people do crazy on drugs.

[Matt McCusker]

That's true. And it's. You know, the problem is, this is the thing I was wondering about. Is it, like, something where he's, like, dying to relive it? That could be part of his revulsion, because they were, like, kind of like he was, like, showing his brother's ass and jerking off.

[Shane Gillis]

Yeah. There's a lot of weird, like, obsessional, even, like, the Arnold Schwarzenegger's son. Like, with the. The. The sister, he was like, is she a virgin? I was like, she's hot. Like, why is she not, like.

[Matt McCusker]

Yeah.

[Shane Gillis]

So we. It was a weird sort of conversation.

[Matt McCusker]

Yeah.

[Shane Gillis]

And then the younger. The younger brother and the younger. The sister sort of have, like, a little bit of, like, they're a little too close.

[Matt McCusker]

Yeah. Well, the older brother is, like, just a sexual pig. And then it's just coming full circle. Like, the other brother prizes the most.

[Louis J. Gomez]

The older brother rules the whole weekend. That's all we've been talking about. Because it's just calling people pigs. And that's the funniest, the best. How is it with the pig rankings of all of our friends? Who's the top pig? Pig?

[Shane Gillis]

Really?

[Louis J. Gomez]

I can't say it here. You say it. I'll tell you later. It was the funniest.

[Shane Gillis]

Give me the first initial. The first name.

[Louis J. Gomez]

Nope. But it was funny because he'd be furious.

[Matt McCusker]

Really?

[Louis J. Gomez]

The top pig.

[Shane Gillis]

Okay. That's a compliment.

[Matt McCusker]

I'm hoping.

[Louis J. Gomez]

I think if you just do. I don't know.

[Matt McCusker]

Yeah, I could guess. Yeah.

[Shane Gillis]

How do you define a pig?

[Louis J. Gomez]

Just pig behavior, dude.

[Matt McCusker]

Just the trowel. You put out this. You put out the slop in the trowel, and they're.

[Louis J. Gomez]

Drink, drugs, women.

[Matt McCusker]

Yeah.

[Shane Gillis]

Oh, yeah.

[Matt McCusker]

The most Viceroy.

[Shane Gillis]

Maybe you.

[Louis J. Gomez]

I'm up there. I'm a good pick. That's why I assembled on this trip I took O'Connor and DeRosa.

[Shane Gillis]

Yeah.

[Louis J. Gomez]

I needed the pigs to ride. I'm not gonna go to the UK and not be pigs.

[Shane Gillis]

You know, pigs choose a best friend. I saw this in my. That's very nice Instagram algorithm.

[Matt McCusker]

Yeah.

[Shane Gillis]

They choose a best friend and they'll have sleepovers with them.

[Matt McCusker]

What?

[Shane Gillis]

Yeah.

[Matt McCusker]

They are super smart.

[Shane Gillis]

Yeah.

[Matt McCusker]

I feel bad about eating bacon every time I see those, like, pig pet Instagram videos. I'm like, that is kind of like eating a dog.

[Louis J. Gomez]

Great. Guys.

[Matt McCusker]

Yeah, they're awesome. I had. We had a pig when I was growing up, we had a little pig kicking around.

[Shane Gillis]

What'd you do to it?

[Matt McCusker]

Just chilled. It used, actually. They're very sexual, by the way. It used to hump. We had, like, an exercise ball. Yeah, dude, we had an exercise ball. We threw it in the pen, and it just, like, for real, in front of all of us, just humped it and jizzed all over it. And we were all like.

[Shane Gillis]

The dogs are like. Like, dogs are the same. They're just very, like. It's almost like, aren't you embarrassed? Like, you don't just hump your leg and come.

[Matt McCusker]

Oh, yeah.

[Louis J. Gomez]

You jack off on airplanes.

[Shane Gillis]

Not in front of anybody. Imagine your loved ones were like, that's just like jacking off in front of your family. Just coming on the couch.

[Matt McCusker]

I mean, dude, that's exactly what you would do on an airplane with no societal training. If you saw, like, a hot flight attendant, you would just go up to her and just start being like, no, all right. Okay. It's like, walk back, maybe be like, come on. They just, like, fight. You just fight your dad. Go sleep by yourself in the corner.

[Shane Gillis]

The dogs do growl a little bit when they do.

[Matt McCusker]

They really.

[Shane Gillis]

Yeah, they bite the back of the other dog's neck. Look, dogs can be hot.

[Louis J. Gomez]

Little Shay Shay Shannon Sharpet.

[Matt McCusker]

How was it, uk?

[Louis J. Gomez]

It was awesome.

[Matt McCusker]

It was nice.

[Louis J. Gomez]

It was nice. Yeah, it was great. But we went to the UFC fight on Saturday.

[Matt McCusker]

I didn't know. There's one out there.

[Louis J. Gomez]

Yeah, it was in the same. I was doing the same room the next night. It was great. But we were sitting there, and I was. We were up close. My. The chair next to me had Jared Leto on it, and I was waiting the whole time. I was like, damn, Jared Leto's about to sit next to me. This is gonna be crazy. Over and talk to him about Thin red line. He just never showed up. But it was nice. A guy from Philly beat the out of Leon Edwards.

[Matt McCusker]

That's sick.

[Louis J. Gomez]

Yeah. Sean Brady in the entire Anytime. He had him ground and pound because the whole. It was in London, so everyone's cheering for Leon Anytime. The whole time, it was ground, pound, and Brady was just destroying him, and I was just sitting there going, go, Birds, go. They. I haven't watched it back, but you have to be able to hear it.

[Matt McCusker]

That's awesome.

[Louis J. Gomez]

And then after he won, he was like, all right, thank you guys so much. Go, birds. It was just the nicest moment.

[Matt McCusker]

Awesome.

[Louis J. Gomez]

Yeah. He beat Leon Edwards ass fucked him up.

[Matt McCusker]

Dang.

[Louis J. Gomez]

Yeah, it was crazy. I got to meet Louis Theroux. He was with us. Awesome.

[Matt McCusker]

Really? Yeah, yeah, yeah, I think Rules.

[Louis J. Gomez]

Yeah. He ruled.

[Matt McCusker]

Might be one of the best investigative.

[Louis J. Gomez]

Yeah.

[Matt McCusker]

Documentarians or whatever ever.

[Louis J. Gomez]

Yeah. He was the fucking man ever to motherfucking do it.

[Matt McCusker]

Dana side.

[Louis J. Gomez]

What if Noah Gallagher came and hung out at the London show from Oasis?

[Matt McCusker]

Oh, really?

[Louis J. Gomez]

Yeah. He's the man. Yeah, it was. It was crazy.

[Matt McCusker]

Yeah. Apparently there's a lot of, like, drama with that whole band.

[Louis J. Gomez]

I didn't know Oasis.

[Matt McCusker]

Yeah. Apparently. I. I could be wrong, but I remember watching something on it.

[Louis J. Gomez]

Been together in 16 years.

[Shane Gillis]

Yeah. I mean, that story might be more famous than any song.

[Matt McCusker]

Yeah.

[Shane Gillis]

The fact that the Gallagher brothers hate each other.

[Matt McCusker]

It's some.

[Louis J. Gomez]

They're not.

[Shane Gillis]

Maybe Liam jerked him off.

[Matt McCusker]

I mean. Yeah.

[Shane Gillis]

Would you like a wank?

[Louis J. Gomez]

How about I did that on stage. That's funny because I was talking about jacking off and I was like, oh, yeah, you got.

[Shane Gillis]

How about having a wine?

[Louis J. Gomez]

It was nice.

[Matt McCusker]

That is the funniest way to say Dublin.

[Louis J. Gomez]

I was talking about black people in Dublin. Boot.

[Matt McCusker]

What?

[Louis J. Gomez]

It was so funny.

[Matt McCusker]

When's Conor McGregor going to become the president?

[Louis J. Gomez]

I hated him. Did they. I was shocked how much they hated him.

[Shane Gillis]

Really. He's a piece of.

[Louis J. Gomez]

He's one of the top pigs.

[Shane Gillis]

Oh, he's a huge pig.

[Louis J. Gomez]

Yeah.

[Shane Gillis]

I mean, dude, rape is a very big.

[Louis J. Gomez]

It's one of the biggest top of the pigs.

[Matt McCusker]

And he got for sure busted.

[Louis J. Gomez]

I thought, See, I thought it was allegations until the people that were in Dublin were pretty confident. Oh, no, I think he lost.

[Matt McCusker]

And, yeah, I heard he lost the case. Damn.

[Shane Gillis]

And then he, like, punched some old guy at a bar one time. Dude, if you just, like, if you.

[Matt McCusker]

He for real pig, like, he did.

[Shane Gillis]

Yeah. Beating up old people, pig behavior big.

[Matt McCusker]

He, like, morphed his entire physical.

[Louis J. Gomez]

Yeah.

[Matt McCusker]

His being just morphed in, like, a year from pigging out.

[Shane Gillis]

But also, like, if an old guy's talking to you at a bar, at what point do you punch him? There's a moment where you're like, yo, this dude. I'm gonna just beat this old guy's ass.

[Matt McCusker]

Yeah. I'll be honest. I, I wouldn't mind whooping the hell out of an old man every now and again.

[Shane Gillis]

Just his bones are breaking. They're all brittle.

[Louis J. Gomez]

Yeah, Yeah.

[Matt McCusker]

I, I, Yeah, you can only take so much. But I mean, as a UFC fighter.

[Louis J. Gomez]

Yeah.

[Matt McCusker]

You can't beat up an old man.

[Shane Gillis]

Well, the guy, he tried to buy the old guy. He was like hammering on coke. He tried to buy him a drink and the old guy was like, I don't want to drink. And he's just offended that he wouldn't take his drink. So then he punched him.

[Matt McCusker]

That's whiskey, though.

[Shane Gillis]

It was his own whiskey.

[Louis J. Gomez]

That.

[Matt McCusker]

Yeah. I mean that's. That's a. That's setting yourself up for his people.

[Louis J. Gomez]

If you.

[Matt McCusker]

If you're like a rich guy who's starting a whiskey company in Ireland, everyone there isn't like, I don't want your whiskey.

[Louis J. Gomez]

This terrible piss.

[Matt McCusker]

Get it out of it. That's just a recipe for a giant Irish spaz.

[Louis J. Gomez]

The worst whiskey I've ever had in the, like.

[Matt McCusker]

Talk about me whiskey. How dare you talk about me whiskey.

[Louis J. Gomez]

No, Ireland. I mean every. Every place over there. London's great.

[Matt McCusker]

Yeah.

[Louis J. Gomez]

Dublin rules. Yeah. It was awesome.

[Matt McCusker]

Yeah, I. I just. I can't get over it. They. Everyone. American outlets should be universal.

[Louis J. Gomez]

Everything over.

[Matt McCusker]

Why do they do that?

[Louis J. Gomez]

Every other country on earth does suck. And going to it. It's fun while you're there, but then just little things that are different for no reason. They. The water. They never give you water. You can't get water. They. There's no ice for some reason.

[Matt McCusker]

Yeah, that's.

[Louis J. Gomez]

Ice is a delicacy there. They literally wait. I got the hotel. Room service knocked on my door and I was like, what's up? And they're like, ice. It was just a tray of ice. I was like, no, bro, are you serious? What the going on?

[Matt McCusker]

Why are they so anti ice over there?

[Louis J. Gomez]

They hate ice and they hate air conditioning.

[Shane Gillis]

I'll say. Ice is a low T thing.

[Louis J. Gomez]

I said, no. Yeah, but where is it?

[Shane Gillis]

You should have it room temperature water.

[Louis J. Gomez]

Love room temperature water.

[Shane Gillis]

That's what I drink.

[Louis J. Gomez]

See my bed up there sitting out? Love room temp.

[Shane Gillis]

It's my favorite thing.

[Matt McCusker]

Yeah. A big room temp water. But if a country is being like, we don't really do ice, I'm going to be like, that's up.

[Louis J. Gomez]

Yeah. It's stupid.

[Matt McCusker]

Yeah.

[Louis J. Gomez]

Bring some air conditioning. They despise.

[Matt McCusker]

That's weird.

[Louis J. Gomez]

Yeah, it's light switches. Nothing makes sense.

[Matt McCusker]

Yeah, they have like tourney dials and sideways light switches. Yeah. They need to put their pride aside and realize America figured out. Yeah.

[Shane Gillis]

Yeah. I mean, we have the best plugs.

[Louis J. Gomez]

Bro. Their plugs have like voltage limits on them.

[Shane Gillis]

Yeah.

[Matt McCusker]

You can't.

[Shane Gillis]

Plugs are like weird, wonky, like alien shape.

[Matt McCusker]

It's embarrassing for. I'm embarrassed for the rest of the world. Yeah. Domestic electrical appliances.

[Louis J. Gomez]

They're 5050 on deodorant. No AC. There's never air circulate there. I don't think there's a ceiling fan in Europe.

[Matt McCusker]

They don't have fucking lights in the ceilings either. It's all lamps and shit.

[Louis J. Gomez]

I can get down. Guys. You're never gonna believe it, but this episode is brought to you by Call of Duty. Call of Duty Warzone fans, the wait is finally, finally over. Verdansk is back on April 3rd. You heard that right. The iconic map we all know and love is returning to Call of Duty Warzone. Matt, why don't you take it from there?

[Matt McCusker]

Experience all the chaos and relive the thrill you've been missing.

[Louis J. Gomez]

Oh, I've been missing it.

[Matt McCusker]

It's the return of the map that started it all. Fan favorites pois like Superstore Prison, Dam Stadium and more. I love a good poi. Visit beloved drop zones and familiar terrain and check out the visual and gameplay enhancements that add new dimension. New dimensions to for dance. Bringing iconic. Talk about the iconic weapons. Dude.

[Louis J. Gomez]

Let's bring in the iconic weapons and gameplay features. Call of Duty Warzone will offer the ultimate battle royale experience for new players and veterans alike. Whether dropping into Verdansk for the first time or revisiting all those long missed drop zones, Verdansk has something for every player. Gather your squad and get ready for intense 150 battle player battles, iconic landmarks and heart pumping moments that would keep you coming back for more. Get ready for the action. This is the moment we've all been waiting for. It's gotta be epic. Plus, don't. Don't you dare miss out on all the incredible rewards during the Return to Verdansk event. Download Call of Duty Warzone for free and drop into Verdansk on April 3rd.

[Matt McCusker]

Rated M4. Mature. Yeah, I actually, I got shocked. Recently we bought shock pads for our couch for the dog. Dude, I got fucking rocked trying to pick those things off the couch.

[Louis J. Gomez]

I thought you sat on it.

[Matt McCusker]

No, no, no, no. I was. I was trying to roll them up and I hit the power button once. Think you'd think like if you hit the power button the thing turns the fuck off. Yeah, all it does. So they give you a thing saying how many times the animal attempted to touch it. Which apparently one day. I don't know if this is right, but it said 23.

[Louis J. Gomez]

It's Jackson.

[Matt McCusker]

Matilda.

[Louis J. Gomez]

Oh man.

[Matt McCusker]

Matilda was. And now she sleeps like on the other side of the entire. She doesn't even.

[Shane Gillis]

These are like Pads that. Electrical shocks.

[Louis J. Gomez]

Yeah.

[Shane Gillis]

Animals try to go on the couch.

[Matt McCusker]

And I always, whenever I'm doing out of punishment, I do like to try to like, see what's up. So I. Look, I touched it. Nothing. Oh, my God. I was kind of like touching it, like, no, I guess it's not on. And then I thought I turned it off and picked it up and I.

[Shane Gillis]

Was like, it rocked me everywhere.

[Matt McCusker]

You hit your tongue, dude. And then I like, it got me three times. What? Yeah, dude. Because I kept trying to like, hit the buttons. I'm like, it's got to be off. And I would like start picking it up and just crush me.

[Louis J. Gomez]

Gotta hold the button down three times.

[Matt McCusker]

Yeah, dude, it rocked me. I had three attempts on the meter.

[Louis J. Gomez]

Maybe it was Maka on the brain, bro. He took too many supplements. You can't get get shocked three times. It's on you.

[Matt McCusker]

I know that was. That was my bad. But I also was just like, cow hard. Can this thing be? I'll just. It was just. I got a little buzz. I was like, whatever. Second once I gripped it, it was like, I was like, how's your cut?

[Louis J. Gomez]

Did it heal up fully? Oh, nice.

[Matt McCusker]

Fully healed.

[Louis J. Gomez]

That's the supplements.

[Matt McCusker]

That's the subs, bro.

[Louis J. Gomez]

I would have been scarred for three more years.

[Matt McCusker]

Really?

[Louis J. Gomez]

Yeah.

[Matt McCusker]

No, that's a subs. I also swam for an hour today. I did one hour, dude. It was. I've never swam that long. You get into an actual flow state with swimming.

[Shane Gillis]

Might be you like just kept on doing laps.

[Matt McCusker]

I. I took breaks. Don't get me wrong. I took breaks and I, I did. I did my aqua aerobics in between. So I would like run, go back and forth, which is. People are sitting on their decks outside this morning. I always watch people get up. I mean, because I'm not a good swimmer. So hard. Yeah. But, dude, once. The first 20 were rough. Once I got into like minute 30 and I. I can't do free. Like, I can only do this one. I was doing just a slow, continuous, like breaststroke. Dude, the one point I did do like, it's only like probably 25 meters, maybe back and forth or whatever. But the. When I did like 10, like this. Up, down, up, down, up, down. You get into a flow state where you just feel like a crocodile, dude, it's awesome. I was in the water, just gliding through the. And slow too. I was moving very slow, just gliding through. And I was like, dude, I gotta start doing this alone.

[Shane Gillis]

Just with your thoughts.

[Matt McCusker]

Myself. You can't. No music. You Can't. You can barely hear anything. And, like, when you, when you can't, like, keep going, you start going underwater, like, obviously. Yeah, it sucks. So you're like, you have this weird, like, primordial panic kind of fueling you the whole. Especially when you're really tired. You're like, I gotta make it to the other side. You're like, I would die if this is a real.

[Shane Gillis]

I can't swim two laps.

[Matt McCusker]

I. Dude, I'm telling you, I could run.

[Shane Gillis]

I could run for, like, four or five miles pretty easily, but I can't swim for.

[Matt McCusker]

It's totally different, dude.

[Shane Gillis]

It's crazy. Yeah.

[Matt McCusker]

It's so hard.

[Shane Gillis]

Yeah.

[Matt McCusker]

I tried doing back. I was doing all the strokes, too. I was doing butterfly stuff. Backstrokes, impossible to turn.

[Shane Gillis]

That's what you got. That butt.

[Louis J. Gomez]

You can't see where you're going.

[Matt McCusker]

You can't see where you go. How are you gonna do that?

[Louis J. Gomez]

You gotta check the markers on the true.

[Matt McCusker]

I might pool. I might set out some markers.

[Louis J. Gomez]

Yeah, it's like, it's how you do it.

[Matt McCusker]

Yeah, I'm sure. I was just looking at the pool, like, by my feet and being like, all right, I'm that far away. And then towards the end, I would just do a little.

[Louis J. Gomez]

Yeah, you gotta stick your hands up.

[Matt McCusker]

I was trying to invent new strokes, too. That was tough.

[Louis J. Gomez]

That's tough.

[Matt McCusker]

I came up with one where I just, just. It was just a feet kick and I just go, that's not very useful. Yeah, swimming is where it's at because my, the only reason I'm doing it, my left knee's been up, so I had to. I had to take it to the water. Of course, take it back to the source, dude.

[Louis J. Gomez]

You might be a seal, dude.

[Matt McCusker]

I, I, it's, it's hard to explain when you do an hour and again, I was taking plenty of breaks. So I can't swim continuously for an hour. But, like, when I got on my nice stretches, it's my. Maybe the best feeling ever. So check it out.

[Louis J. Gomez]

Hell, yeah.

[Matt McCusker]

I don't know what it does for the tea, but it's gotta help the tea. I would hope so.

[Louis J. Gomez]

It's gotta help the tea.

[Matt McCusker]

I don't know why I'm trying to get, like, hard ass boners, too. I'm like, what am I doing? Like, I've been ripping these, like, just fly, dude.

[Louis J. Gomez]

For a month.

[Matt McCusker]

Every now and again, what happens to me on a flight. If I had been drinking the night before, I'll get, like, devilishly horny on A plane?

[Louis J. Gomez]

Yeah.

[Matt McCusker]

Devilishly.

[Louis J. Gomez]

Yeah. I was with Oasis the night before in the O2 arena. Yeah.

[Shane Gillis]

Damn.

[Louis J. Gomez]

Had a couple drinks.

[Matt McCusker]

All of. Just the one Oasis.

[Louis J. Gomez]

Just the one. They. They're never together.

[Matt McCusker]

That's, man.

[Louis J. Gomez]

Yeah. But they're going back on tour. What? Yeah.

[Matt McCusker]

Hell Freeze is over for Oasis.

[Louis J. Gomez]

Yes. They're coming back.

[Matt McCusker]

Dude. I'm excited for that. Dude. Wait till the brothers just slip into Wonder Wall. They're gonna look at each other, be like, I'm sorry, brother, I was being a bit of a call. Wasn't on.

[Shane Gillis]

It's gonna be.

[Louis J. Gomez]

It's gonna be awesome.

[Shane Gillis]

Maybe.

[Louis J. Gomez]

He invited me to go. I was like, bring whoever you want.

[Matt McCusker]

Damn.

[Louis J. Gomez]

They're gonna do MetLife, Soldier Field in the Rose Bowl.

[Matt McCusker]

Sick.

[Louis J. Gomez]

In the United States.

[Matt McCusker]

Sick.

[Louis J. Gomez]

And then they're gonna do Mexico City. And I was like, maybe I'll do Mexico.

[Matt McCusker]

Mexico City would be tight.

[Louis J. Gomez]

Yeah.

[Shane Gillis]

It's a bunch of Mexican Oasis fans. Hilarious.

[Matt McCusker]

Probably a lot of Mexican Oasis fans.

[Shane Gillis]

Yeah.

[Matt McCusker]

I would have to imagine Oasis would hit the lads pretty hard.

[Shane Gillis]

Yeah. Well, who's gonna build the Wonder Wall? Come on, folks. Come on, folks.

[Louis J. Gomez]

I was working on that.

[Shane Gillis]

Yeah.

[Louis J. Gomez]

And I was like, it's too. Thought about it. They might get scared of Wonderwall.

[Matt McCusker]

They're a very dreamy bunch, the lads.

[Louis J. Gomez]

They are.

[Matt McCusker]

They're very dreamy. I can see them getting down to some Oasis for sure. What do you think?

[Shane Gillis]

The Latinos.

[Matt McCusker]

No, Mexicans, specifically Puerto Ricans, I think, would hate Oasis.

[Shane Gillis]

Puerto Ricans get angry and try to fight Oasis.

[Matt McCusker]

What other hits they had?

[Louis J. Gomez]

They had Wonderwall, Champagne Supernova.

[Matt McCusker]

Champagne Supernova.

[Louis J. Gomez]

Don't look Back in.

[Matt McCusker]

True.

[Shane Gillis]

That one album was just banger after banger.

[Matt McCusker]

Yeah.

[Shane Gillis]

What's Is the. What's the story? Is the name of the album.

[Louis J. Gomez]

Yeah.

[Shane Gillis]

Yeah.

[Matt McCusker]

It's got to piss you off if you're Oasis and then you're, like, getting a fight with your brother and then Coldplay comes out of nowhere like, dude, we could have been Coldplay.

[Shane Gillis]

Yeah.

[Matt McCusker]

They probably can't stand.

[Shane Gillis]

They were like the new Beatles for a very long.

[Matt McCusker]

They were crushing it. And, I mean, they still, you know.

[Louis J. Gomez]

And they're both hilarious.

[Matt McCusker]

Are they really?

[Louis J. Gomez]

Watch any clip of them getting interviewed. They're the funniest.

[Matt McCusker]

That's sick.

[Louis J. Gomez]

One of them. I forget which brother was, but there's one. They're like, how do you deal with hangovers? He's like, straight back to the pub, no questions asked. Don't dwell on it.

[Shane Gillis]

Nordstrom brings you the season's most wanted brands.

[Matt McCusker]

Skims, Mango Free People and Princess polly.

[Shane Gillis]

All under $100. From trending sneakers to beauty must haves, we've curated the styles you'll wear on repeat this spring.

[Matt McCusker]

Free shipping, free returns and in store.

[Shane Gillis]

Pickup make it easier than ever.

[Matt McCusker]

Shop now in stores [e-mail].

[Louis J. Gomez]

This episode is brought to you by Universal Pictures. Today's the day. From Universal Pictures and Blumhouse come a storm of terror. From the director of the Shallows. The woman in the yard. Don't let her in. Where does she come from? What does she want? When will she leave? The Woman in the Yard in theaters now.

[Matt McCusker]

Coldplay. If you listen to Coldplay's new albums, it's like they're. It's insane, dude.

[Louis J. Gomez]

What are they up to?

[Matt McCusker]

It's you. I can't even put it into words. Yeah, it would be like for real if, like, it's probably like if the stock market made music. Exactly. It is very AI ish. Some of the songs are just emojis. Just like the world. World Emoji is one of the songs. It's.

[Louis J. Gomez]

What do you mean?

[Matt McCusker]

Like for the song title on Spotify. There's no words. It's just like a globe emoji.

[Louis J. Gomez]

Them. Them.

[Matt McCusker]

Dude, I like, sat down. I was like, let me see what they're up to. And I try to get into their latest album and I'm like, bro, this is insane. But it's like genius from a perspective of like, if you're trying to gather a ton of like 17 year olds or whatever.

[Shane Gillis]

And I am. Hold on. What are we talking about here?

[Matt McCusker]

Dude, I was. I can't get over the. I was listening to. I was in the. Obviously I was in the car with my wife, but I was listening to not that Innocent. That song by Britney. I Did it Again by Britney Spears.

[Louis J. Gomez]

Yeah.

[Matt McCusker]

It's a tough one that came on and I was just like, dude, hey, she didn't write this. They were definitely adults writing.

[Louis J. Gomez]

Yeah.

[Matt McCusker]

Those songs for children. That was the craziest period of legit thing about, like, we took so many.

[Louis J. Gomez]

Beauty came out. I just watched American Beauty for the first time. I never saw it. It's on the flight. Oh, it's hilarious.

[Matt McCusker]

It's awesome.

[Shane Gillis]

Great movie.

[Louis J. Gomez]

Did make the boners a little uncomfortable.

[Matt McCusker]

Oh, true.

[Louis J. Gomez]

Yeah.

[Shane Gillis]

All these hot teens.

[Louis J. Gomez]

She's a hot. Yeah. High school kid. Constantly.

[Shane Gillis]

Also, like, that's the. With whatever. Thor Birch. She's actually underage and does that nude scene. Her parents signed off on a nude scene.

[Louis J. Gomez]

Who? Which one?

[Shane Gillis]

Thor Birch. One with the big tits.

[Matt McCusker]

I didn't know that.

[Louis J. Gomez]

The daughter or the other lady?

[Shane Gillis]

The daughter.

[Matt McCusker]

So when she spacey be involved in something like that.

[Shane Gillis]

But she was like 16 when they filmed it. And they found the nude scene with a 16 year old girl. That's the. That's called a loophole folks.

[Matt McCusker]

Getting the permission slip. Field trip. Permission slip.

[Shane Gillis]

You to just watch child porn in American Beauty. Because it's art.

[Louis J. Gomez]

I was watching on the plane with a boner.

[Matt McCusker]

Yeah, but here's the thing, Shane. You already had a boner.

[Louis J. Gomez]

If I was your lawyer, I would.

[Matt McCusker]

Say if it pulsed, did it post. That's your business.

[Louis J. Gomez]

Did not pulse.

[Matt McCusker]

Don't disclose that. We can talk about that. That's confidential. That's lawyer. That's a lawyer. Client confidentiality.

[Louis J. Gomez]

Sorry, hold on a second. I have to talk to my attorney.

[Matt McCusker]

Crazy. I like to ask for a brief recess. Covering your face. Oh yeah, crazy argument like I like to have that thrown out. Your honor, objection. Yeah, that's all that matters. You get a boner. The pulses are. That's your even that you could argue. I could argue a polls too. I could stand in front of the good people and argue a polls. But guys, that could be anything.

[Louis J. Gomez]

It could have been anything.

[Matt McCusker]

Little glitch for the two that 16.

[Louis J. Gomez]

Year old's rocking tits.

[Shane Gillis]

Huge. Her huge bare breasts.

[Matt McCusker]

They were covered in flowers. That was the one thing the movie did. Then they covered.

[Shane Gillis]

No, no, that was the other safari.

[Louis J. Gomez]

The other girl shows her boobs. You do know these girls names.

[Shane Gillis]

What?

[Matt McCusker]

True.

[Louis J. Gomez]

Hey, I can't believe you know the daughter from American Beauty's name.

[Matt McCusker]

Dan has turned into a thorough burcham.

[Shane Gillis]

I don't know any of you. A single adult's name in that movie.

[Matt McCusker]

That's a crazy deep guy too.

[Shane Gillis]

No, Thor Birch. Yeah, how do you know her name?

[Louis J. Gomez]

Who's the girl from Fast Guy? You have high teeth.

[Matt McCusker]

Yeah, dude, what are you talking about?

[Louis J. Gomez]

You know the name.

[Shane Gillis]

I'm pretty sure Amina Suvari was an adult in that movie. Like she.

[Matt McCusker]

What about Birch? What are some other movies? You enjoyed her?

[Shane Gillis]

I don't know. I don't know. I can't name a Susie actress in.

[Louis J. Gomez]

That old Romeo and Juliet movie.

[Shane Gillis]

Oh, I do.

[Louis J. Gomez]

If you know this, you're out of your mind.

[Shane Gillis]

I got it. I got it. I really have this. She just died.

[Matt McCusker]

What?

[Louis J. Gomez]

Yeah, that's how I know about this. I didn't know about this. Yeah, she was like 6 CP.

[Shane Gillis]

Yeah, they just filmed it.

[Matt McCusker]

Was that Leo too? Was it the Leo?

[Shane Gillis]

No, no, no, no. That was flat chested Claire Day and show those little shitty titties in your mind.

[Louis J. Gomez]

What was that, Mr. Celeb or what's it.

[Shane Gillis]

What's her name? Dude, give me the first letter.

[Matt McCusker]

I don't know.

[Shane Gillis]

Olivia. Olivia. Last name Olivia Hussey.

[Louis J. Gomez]

You are going to get caught at all.

[Shane Gillis]

Olivia Hussey? Yeah. Hell yeah, dude. Because when I was. I was in high school, they showed us that and we were all just like, what? She was so hot.

[Matt McCusker]

What happened in that one?

[Shane Gillis]

They just showed, like, they had a naked scene. They also showed that guy's butt, the Romeo's butt. I never saw it get a sweet rocking ass. Romeo's ass was fucking delightful.

[Matt McCusker]

We should get more. Yeah, there should be more.

[Shane Gillis]

We were like lusting after this girl.

[Matt McCusker]

When the last time you saw high school's fair?

[Shane Gillis]

I mean, we think we watched it on Legion of Skank. Thanks. All this, it's not illegal.

[Louis J. Gomez]

Yeah.

[Shane Gillis]

What to watch it now?

[Matt McCusker]

If it's in a movie, it's in a movie.

[Louis J. Gomez]

Yeah, I might have been in the room. That's why I'm like, where do I remember this from?

[Matt McCusker]

Yeah, but you don't see, like, you do only see rocking asses from men on tv.

[Louis J. Gomez]

We got to start nice dog butt on.

[Matt McCusker]

Yeah, man.

[Shane Gillis]

Nobody's showing their, like, dude, my ass. I feel bad. Like, I get naked in the locker room now with my little pud and my flabby ass. It's so funny. I just do it to make everyone else uncomfortable because everyone else in the.

[Matt McCusker]

Locker room has a flappy.

[Shane Gillis]

Everyone in the locker room has. If you're showing your ass in your dick, it's because you have a nice ass and nice dick. The other guys put a towel around themselves, take their underwear down underneath the towel. I don't do that anymore.

[Matt McCusker]

You just rip it?

[Shane Gillis]

Yeah, I rip.

[Matt McCusker]

Nice. That's good.

[Shane Gillis]

It's pretty sick.

[Matt McCusker]

It's important.

[Shane Gillis]

Yeah. I'm at that age where I feel good naked in a locker room around other men. I was thinking that today they're like, dude, gay dudes. It rules for that. They just go to a locker room and just see all these hot dudes with their out like, yeah, they should have their own locker room. Nothing hateful there. I'm just saying they should put gays.

[Matt McCusker]

They deserve that perk in life.

[Shane Gillis]

Yeah.

[Matt McCusker]

All the bullying, all this stuff. They gotta. They gotta peep your dog.

[Shane Gillis]

Yeah.

[Matt McCusker]

It's only fair.

[Louis J. Gomez]

Speaking of gay guys, I watched this documentary on the Joplin tornado.

[Matt McCusker]

What happened with that thing?

[Louis J. Gomez]

It's just a giant F5 tornado that ripped through the middle of the town and killed like 160 people. But they filmed this documentary. Every person that was in it was gay.

[Matt McCusker]

What?

[Louis J. Gomez]

Interviewed like three different people that were clearly gay. One of them was a young boy newscaster from San Diego that wanted to be a meteorologist. And he was corresponding with an adult meteorologist from Joplin. They had a little thing going and he was like, I'll tell you what, we usually get crazy storms in May if you want to come by.

[Matt McCusker]

No.

[Louis J. Gomez]

And then the mom was like, I'm coming with you. What the. So I think that guy might have been caught at Walmart by the mom. But then had to be like, nah, it's just a storm. I don't know.

[Matt McCusker]

Storm chaser.

[Louis J. Gomez]

But then the kid happened to be there when the most devastating. What storm ever happened?

[Matt McCusker]

Was his mommy there too?

[Louis J. Gomez]

Mom was there.

[Matt McCusker]

Damn.

[Louis J. Gomez]

They made it out. They were all right.

[Matt McCusker]

Thank God. If you get killed by a tornado, also thank God.

[Louis J. Gomez]

Watch the documentary. You can get rocked by.

[Matt McCusker]

Oh. Oh, dude, you serious, bro?

[Shane Gillis]

You go into a basement, you're fine.

[Matt McCusker]

How then the house falls on you.

[Louis J. Gomez]

The biggest tornado.

[Shane Gillis]

The house gets lifted up.

[Louis J. Gomez]

Tornado ever. They got killed.

[Shane Gillis]

I don't believe it.

[Matt McCusker]

It was rocky. So hard.

[Shane Gillis]

They were trying to drive natural disasters. I just don't buy I was in a hurricane.

[Louis J. Gomez]

They're trying to drive away from it. They. One group was getting chased by it. One of the, like dudes got sucked out of the sunroof.

[Shane Gillis]

Who?

[Matt McCusker]

The kid who went over there to hang?

[Louis J. Gomez]

No, no, he made it. But it was a different kid that, you know, he was pulled out of.

[Matt McCusker]

The sunroof of a car.

[Louis J. Gomez]

I keep calling them all gay. Yes. He got launched out.

[Matt McCusker]

I mean, that's kind of sick.

[Shane Gillis]

That's. Yeah, that's a great way to die.

[Louis J. Gomez]

If you gotta die.

[Matt McCusker]

Well, yeah.

[Louis J. Gomez]

Apparently it hurts because it's all debris. You're just getting hit by glass and dirt that's going 300 miles.

[Matt McCusker]

Cows.

[Louis J. Gomez]

You're getting hit, hit by the worst.

[Matt McCusker]

Entire houses. Flying.

[Shane Gillis]

An old lady on a bike just hit you in the side of the head.

[Matt McCusker]

Yeah, I for real just thought you got launched like super high and fell. I didn't realize all the debris would.

[Louis J. Gomez]

The debris just hurts. Yeah.

[Matt McCusker]

Sting, bro.

[Louis J. Gomez]

The one pegged by debris.

[Matt McCusker]

You get so much dust in your eye, be 600ft up, like, God damn.

[Louis J. Gomez]

Wait till you hear this. Because it ripped through all this old dead soil and dead vegetation. It had fungus in the air that was like a flesh eating fungus that got into People and killed a bunch of people.

[Matt McCusker]

Oh no.

[Louis J. Gomez]

Yeah, it was. It was.

[Matt McCusker]

They had a flesh eating fungus in their dirt.

[Louis J. Gomez]

Everyone does.

[Matt McCusker]

That sucks.

[Louis J. Gomez]

Yeah. Are you thinking about your garden? Yeah, I saw that face.

[Matt McCusker]

I've been playing it fast and loose with my hands. I just added another roly poly to my garden today.

[Louis J. Gomez]

Dude, you added it.

[Matt McCusker]

I find them. I find them walking around. I keeping my hand toss them in my garden.

[Louis J. Gomez]

That's nice.

[Shane Gillis]

What do they do?

[Matt McCusker]

They're just good. They. They break stuff down, eat other pests.

[Shane Gillis]

Nice.

[Matt McCusker]

Very beneficial for gardens.

[Louis J. Gomez]

But yeah, I didn't know that. I was with roly polys my whole life.

[Matt McCusker]

So.

[Louis J. Gomez]

Yeah, everyone, they were watching those. Right?

[Matt McCusker]

Everyone. Those. Watch it.

[Louis J. Gomez]

Roll up and you go toss them.

[Matt McCusker]

Yeah, it's like, sure, they're fine.

[Shane Gillis]

I used to tear the legs off of daddy long leg spiders.

[Matt McCusker]

Yeah. And the legs still switch.

[Shane Gillis]

It's just a little ball.

[Louis J. Gomez]

I'd love to condemn you, but I've seen a couple of those legs come off and keep moving.

[Matt McCusker]

Yeah, they just keep. Yeah, it's pretty sick.

[Shane Gillis]

Yeah.

[Matt McCusker]

Damn. So you turn it into just a head.

[Shane Gillis]

Just a daddy.

[Louis J. Gomez]

Just a regular daddy.

[Matt McCusker]

Yeah, that must be crazy. Just be a legless daddy long leg trying to like interpret the world and just sitting there like it's got to be terrifying.

[Shane Gillis]

Yeah.

[Matt McCusker]

Sucks. Poor guy. But yeah, we used to do stuff like that. Frogs, all that.

[Shane Gillis]

Yeah, I never did anything. A handful of like bugs I would torture, but not really even torture. I mean I guess it's torture if you're tearing all of its limbs off.

[Louis J. Gomez]

Yeah. Yeah. It's literally a medieval.

[Shane Gillis]

Do you think it hurts?

[Louis J. Gomez]

I did that to William Wallace. Daddy long legged say mercy we.

[Shane Gillis]

Yeah, but did they. You gotta hurt them.

[Matt McCusker]

Here's the thing. Because they say they don't have the pain receptors. But even if it doesn't hurt, it's still got to be experienced as a giant inconvenience.

[Louis J. Gomez]

Yeah, yeah.

[Matt McCusker]

To just be like, you know, on your p's and q's trying to munch some ants and all of a sudden you just. All your legs have been ripped off.

[Shane Gillis]

You're just rolling.

[Matt McCusker]

You're not even rolling. They can't even roll at that point. They just.

[Louis J. Gomez]

Yeah. Kind of just a disc.

[Matt McCusker]

They're just like a little observation point. They're just.

[Shane Gillis]

Until they die.

[Matt McCusker]

Yeah. Probably quickly. Yeah.

[Shane Gillis]

Yeah. Probably sweet for birds back.

[Matt McCusker]

No, not like my heart.

[Shane Gillis]

They grew their legs back.

[Matt McCusker]

Worms can do some weird stuff like that.

[Shane Gillis]

Yeah.

[Matt McCusker]

But no, I don't think a daddy long leg spawns legs I don't think they could survive the, like, period of growing new legs.

[Louis J. Gomez]

You know, crabs do what? You ever watch them rip off their claw?

[Matt McCusker]

No.

[Louis J. Gomez]

Yeah, they'll rip off their own arms.

[Matt McCusker]

They get bigger, better.

[Louis J. Gomez]

Yeah, they'll take its one claw and just go, what?

[Matt McCusker]

The crabs.

[Louis J. Gomez]

I'm into that. You ever watch moose shed their. And deer and. Hilarious.

[Matt McCusker]

That is pretty sick.

[Louis J. Gomez]

Just stand there and they go like this and both their antlers fall off and they get scared.

[Matt McCusker]

I've never seen them knock them off. I've just seen them just, like, scratch.

[Louis J. Gomez]

No, they'll literally just shake their head and their antlers fall off and they take off. It's pretty fun.

[Matt McCusker]

That is pretty tight.

[Louis J. Gomez]

Anyway, that should probably be the end of the episode.

[Matt McCusker]

Bigger betters.

[Louis J. Gomez]

How are we doing? Oh, I thought we were. I thought we were well past. Never mind. I was gonna switch over. I know you guys have. I know you have to get to your Mr. Yeah, true.

[Shane Gillis]

I gotta interview Mr. Beast. Interviewing me.

[Matt McCusker]

I could get that.

[Shane Gillis]

That'd be great. We'll see.

[Louis J. Gomez]

He did kill Tony with me and Matt.

[Shane Gillis]

Okay.

[Louis J. Gomez]

We'd give you a little inside.

[Shane Gillis]

Keep me on, dude.

[Louis J. Gomez]

I'll try to help.

[Shane Gillis]

Get me on.

[Matt McCusker]

I. That would be the best.

[Shane Gillis]

Talk to Mr. Beast.

[Louis J. Gomez]

Be the best. It would also add a lot of viewers.

[Shane Gillis]

I promise that.

[Louis J. Gomez]

Otherwise. Actually, your viewers.

[Shane Gillis]

Yeah, no, they don't want my viewers. No.

[Matt McCusker]

Yeah, true. You'd be in the middle of taping. They'd be like, actually, we're taking you.

[Louis J. Gomez]

No.

[Shane Gillis]

I hope you stop naming underage girls that have been naked in movies.

[Louis J. Gomez]

I'm just saying it's not your fault they were in the movie.

[Shane Gillis]

Yeah, it's not my fault. I'm sorry. That I'm a movie buff.

[Louis J. Gomez]

Yeah.

[Matt McCusker]

Yeah. You're just a consumer. Yeah. That is crazy to be a. Like, what. What trophy are you going at? Like, you don't need it. You could totally.

[Louis J. Gomez]

Rose. Totally fine until after American Beauty. It made it that far.

[Matt McCusker]

Yeah.

[Shane Gillis]

I think one where they put a child, a naked child in the movie.

[Matt McCusker]

That is true. You know, we. Yeah, at that time, we definitely were, like, parading kids around and, like, putting.

[Shane Gillis]

Them in makeup, like Brooke Shields and fucking. Was it the Blue Lagoon? No, I. Dude, I. When I was a kid, I would beat my dick until it was. I mean, until it was in pain to that movie. And I believe she was a genuine child. How old was Brooke Shields in Blue Lagoon? She had to be a. Like. Yeah, maybe. All right. Lemaire. He's like, oh, 14, right.

[Matt McCusker]

I've heard. I feel like. I feel like I heard of this movie when I was younger. Like, my older brothers would talk about this, but I don't remember.

[Shane Gillis]

It was like a brother and sister. That kid's ass was sweet.

[Louis J. Gomez]

And Blue Lagoon 14 nailed it in there.

[Matt McCusker]

Dang. Lemaire. That's even worse.

[Louis J. Gomez]

One of the all time pigs.

[Shane Gillis]

Yeah, dude. They just. It was.

[Matt McCusker]

What was she doing in the Blue Lagoon?

[Shane Gillis]

It was her. It was. Her brother and her were shipwrecked. And then they were like on an island and just. They were both just naked the whole time and they start banging. And that's the whole movie.

[Louis J. Gomez]

Her brother.

[Shane Gillis]

It is just a straight up child porn movie.

[Matt McCusker]

Incest. Child porn too.

[Shane Gillis]

Yeah. I believe that was the premise of it. I don't know. I never got past.

[Matt McCusker]

It's the Blue Lagoon. Oh, they're cousins.

[Shane Gillis]

They were cousins. He had a sweet ass. I remember.

[Louis J. Gomez]

Hold on, your honor.

[Matt McCusker]

And they couldn't get off the island then.

[Louis J. Gomez]

They waited as long as I could.

[Matt McCusker]

Damn. They had to re. They had to repopulate the island with southerners.

[Shane Gillis]

Yeah, dude. They start. They start banging into, I guess, creative Society. I have no idea. I don't know if they ever get rescued. I remember seeing it as a kid being like, she's so beautiful.

[Matt McCusker]

I mean. Yeah, that's a wretched thing to put onto a kid's like, mind.

[Louis J. Gomez]

Being like.

[Matt McCusker]

And this guy gets stuck with his cousin on island. They have sex. You're 14.

[Louis J. Gomez]

You're like, I know exactly what cousin.

[Matt McCusker]

You start getting.

[Louis J. Gomez]

I know exactly which cousin. I'm thinking of Bob.

[Matt McCusker]

I'd like to do a carnival cruise. We don't see each other as a family. Every time that boat rocks, you're like, this is.

[Louis J. Gomez]

Says online that she did. They did use a body double for the nude scene.

[Shane Gillis]

Oh, man.

[Louis J. Gomez]

Jacking off to the wrong.

[Shane Gillis]

I've been jacking up to an adult.

[Louis J. Gomez]

Not for the boy, though. Just.

[Shane Gillis]

Okay.

[Louis J. Gomez]

And we're back.

[Matt McCusker]

The boy was 18. And it's suddenly awesome again.

[Louis J. Gomez]

Damn. Shout out to that kid. That boy. He got to.

[Shane Gillis]

He was 18, dude. Sweet ass.

[Louis J. Gomez]

His name is Chris Atkins. I know that.

[Shane Gillis]

Did you just know that?

[Louis J. Gomez]

Okay, I know who Christopher Atkins is. Let me take a look at this movie.

[Matt McCusker]

Also, casting directors got to be crazy to be like, we're trying to have someone who could pass as a naked 14 year old. And then they got to. That might be the ultimate transcendent pig. Who got to go through.

[Louis J. Gomez]

Man, this is child porn.

[Shane Gillis]

It's straight up child porn, dude.

[Matt McCusker]

It's crazy.

[Louis J. Gomez]

That's the. Oh, dude, I'm just looking at the posters for the movie. Yeah, Looks like they remade it. No, in 2012. Blue Lagoon, the Awakening.

[Matt McCusker]

Probably two 40 year old fat lesbians.

[Louis J. Gomez]

Eric Bross and Mikhail Solomon were the directors and put those boys on a list. Yeah, they remade it.

[Shane Gillis]

Oh, you know, times you have to watch the original movie to remake it.

[Matt McCusker]

Yeah, that's nuts. To remake. To be like, let's run that one back. Although Romeo and Juliet, technically they were.

[Shane Gillis]

Probably like 12 in the original story. Maybe that was when people back then, dude, Shakespeare times, that's when you'd have a baby. Yeah, you'd have a baby. No, that's a life expectancy of like 25. So.

[Matt McCusker]

Yeah, no, that's true. I'm not gonna put that on them. It is weird though that every, every, like a lot of women's shows are centered around high school romance. That's true.

[Shane Gillis]

Yeah. So that was. That was that show on HBO now with Zendaya. Yeah, Euphoria.

[Matt McCusker]

But even before that, all those like soapy WB things, they're all like high school things that like a lot of like adult women would watch. And it just. It's like high schoolers, like making out and simulating sex scenes.

[Shane Gillis]

Well, that was like that movie It Follows. It's about kids. Do you see it?

[Louis J. Gomez]

I love that movie.

[Shane Gillis]

It was pretty sick. Yeah, it's a. A horror movie about an std.

[Louis J. Gomez]

Yeah.

[Matt McCusker]

I'll tell you what, get me gets me going. Stranger Things shows. Hot as hell.

[Shane Gillis]

Yeah, it follows us. Pretty wild though. It's actually. It's the first time I was like scared in a movie in a long time.

[Louis J. Gomez]

Yeah, really creepy. That's the one where the. You've seen It Follows.

[Matt McCusker]

I've never seen it.

[Louis J. Gomez]

There's a scene where the. The thing that it follows just turns into Pedro. Looks exactly like Pedro Salinas. Really?

[Matt McCusker]

So I've never seen it.

[Louis J. Gomez]

Oh, it was me and Beezer.

[Matt McCusker]

Okay.

[Louis J. Gomez]

Loved that. Fucking.

[Matt McCusker]

Was that a Stephen King? No.

[Shane Gillis]

That you think of it.

[Matt McCusker]

True. No, he did a new movie or you did a new show that was on HBO like five years ago.

[Louis J. Gomez]

Yeah, that was about a guy who's.

[Matt McCusker]

Like the same place in two places.

[Louis J. Gomez]

Kind of like the Stranger or some. The Outsider.

[Matt McCusker]

Yeah, it was the outside. That's what it was. Yeah.

[Louis J. Gomez]

We're an hour.

[Matt McCusker]

Hell yeah.

[Louis J. Gomez]

Let's go straight into the Patreon.

[Matt McCusker]

Yeah.

[Louis J. Gomez]

We've got plenty more incredible stories for you.

[Matt McCusker]

For sure.

[Louis J. Gomez]

Lewis is going to give us more tips on kid nudity movies.

[Matt McCusker]

It.