Ep 558 - Ay Caramba

Summary

Podcast Summary: Matt and Shane's Secret Podcast Episode: Ep 558 - Ay Caramba
Release Date: May 8, 2025
Hosts: Matt McCusker & Shane Gillis
Title: Ay Caramba

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Introduction

In Episode 558 titled "Ay Caramba," hosts Matt McCusker and Shane Gillis dive into a whirlwind of comedic discussions ranging from pop culture critiques and mental health awareness to satirical takes on societal issues and personal anecdotes from their stand-up experiences. This episode encapsulates their signature humor, blending sharp wit with observational comedy, making it an engaging listen for both longtime fans and newcomers alike.

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Pop Culture Commentary

Katy Perry's "A Woman's World" Music Video

Matt and Shane kick off the episode by discussing Katy Perry's music video for "A Woman's World." Matt expresses positive surprise, stating, "Do yourself a favor and watch Katy Perry's 'A Woman's World' music video" (00:43). They highlight a particularly powerful moment in the video that resonates with them, leading Matt and the crew to chant, "Women. Women. It is a woman's world" (01:05).

RuPaul's Drag Race and Drag Culture

The conversation seamlessly transitions to drag culture, with Matt mentioning his occasional viewings of "RuPaul's Drag Race." He humorously claims, "Trust me, daddy, I know all about the drag" (01:27). Shane playfully suggests remaking the movie "Greece" but centered around drag queens, imagining scenarios like "walking towards each other and being like" (01:29). This segment underscores their knack for blending pop culture with comedic creativity.

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Mental Health Awareness

Promoting BetterHelp

In a heartfelt yet humorous turn, Matt and Shane address the importance of mental health. They discuss the stigma surrounding seeking mental health support, noting that "26% claimed they've avoided seeking mental health support due to fear of judgment for mental health awareness month" (14:09). To encourage their listeners, they promote BetterHelp, emphasizing its accessibility and affordability with lines like, "We're all better with help" (15:48).

Personal Anecdotes on Mental Health

Shane shares personal insecurities about his appearance, leading to light-hearted banter about body image. Matt reassures him humorously, saying, "No, you have very nice thighs, Matt" (15:11), highlighting their camaraderie and approachable dialogue on sensitive topics.

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Satire on Advertising and Race

Commercial Critiques

The hosts delve into a satirical critique of contemporary advertising, particularly targeting how commercials are tailored to specific demographics. Matt laments, "The only time you see like purely white commercials is Fox" (16:00), while Shane mocks Wingstop's commercials, labeling them as "the most racist commercial I've ever seen" due to their portrayal of Black individuals (12:04).

Puerto Rican Sky Bar Imagery

In a fictional and humorous account, Matt describes a Puerto Rican sky bar where calamities like snapped cables turn the venue into a "real fun house" (09:18). This exaggerated scenario serves as a comedic metaphor for precarious situations depicted in advertising and media.

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Catholic Church and Papal Elections

Satirical Take on the Conclave

Matt and Shane offer a humorous perspective on the Catholic Church's conclave to elect a new Pope. They invent playful character names like "Pizza Baller" and discuss the absurdity of potential candidates with lines such as, "Hamas is dumb as they should have took him up on that and cut his head off right away" (36:38).

Diverse Papal Candidates

The duo imagines a diverse array of candidates, including an African priest and an American from New Jersey, poking fun at the traditional Italian dominance in the Vatican with remarks like, "America hasn't had an American Pope" (37:34). Their satire underscores the complexities and improbabilities within institutional traditions.

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Stand-Up Comedy Experiences

Live Shows and Audience Interactions

Sharing their recent experiences from various stand-up comedy shows across cities like Sacramento, Seattle, Hollywood, Des Moines, and Albany, Matt and Shane recount humorous interactions with audiences. Matt describes a chaotic yet amusing moment where a fan wanted to "bring back the River Rats" minor league hockey team, highlighting regional sports rivalries with, "They were going crazy" (62:28).

Challenges on Stage

Shane reflects on his attempts at new material, humorously admitting, "I had an ambitious night. Stand-up wise. I got done and I just smoked a giant joint" (62:44). This candid admission showcases their ability to intertwine personal struggles with comedic storytelling.

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Humorous Concepts and Technological Satire

Innovative (and Absurd) Ideas

The hosts engage in creative brainstorming, proposing outlandish technological inventions like a painting that transforms into explicit images over time. Matt jokes, "Wouldn't it be nice to send your father a meme?" (55:54), blending humor with a satirical view on consumer technology and parental relationships.

Immigration and Feudalism Parody

Shane presents a satirical proposal for an immigration system resembling modern feudalism, where adopted families from El Salvador become "vassals" taxed by sponsors. They humorously dissect the concept with lines like, "It's feudalism" (59:22), highlighting the absurdity of bureaucratic systems through comedy.

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Conclusion

Episode 558 of "Matt and Shane's Secret Podcast" masterfully balances sharp social commentary with unabashed humor. From dissecting pop culture phenomena and addressing mental health to satirizing advertising and institutional traditions, Matt and Shane offer a rich, engaging narrative that entertains while provoking thought. Their ability to infuse personal anecdotes and imaginative ideas into broader societal discussions makes this episode a standout, reaffirming why their podcast is hailed as "easily the funniest podcast out there."

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Notable Quotes

• Matt: "Do yourself a favor and watch Katy Perry's 'A Woman's World' music video." (00:43)
• Matt: "Women. Women. It is a woman's world." (01:05)
• Shane: "We're all better with help." (15:48)
• Matt: "The most racist commercial I've ever seen." (12:04)
• Shane: "It's feudalism." (59:22)
• Matt: "America hasn't had an American Pope." (37:34)

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Timestamps Reference

<small> <a name="timestamp00:43"></a>[00:43]</small> <small> <a name="timestamp01:05"></a>[01:05]</small> <small> <a name="timestamp01:27"></a>[01:27]</small> <small> <a name="timestamp15:48"></a>[15:48]</small> <small> <a name="timestamp12:04"></a>[12:04]</small> <small> <a name="timestamp37:34"></a>[37:34]</small> <small> <a name="timestamp55:54"></a>[55:54]</small> <small> <a name="timestamp59:22"></a>[59:22]</small> </#>

Transcript

[Matt]

Wild, wild west.

[Omar]

Yo. A slap, bro. What a mother.

[Matt]

That was a powerful slap, Omar, that was. Damn. You come for Gardini's job.

[Omar]

I know, man. Surprised. Everything syncs up properly with his little slap.

[Matt]

We'll see, though. We'll see. Usually you're about. Lemaire's about 50 on his producing. Producing skills.

[Omar]

Yeah. There could be a major technical, solid.

[Matt]

Chance that this does not have a video. So we'll see.

[Omar]

We shall see.

[Matt]

It is a women. A woman's world, man.

[Omar]

I mean, we're lucky to be living in it.

[Matt]

We're lucky to be living.

[Omar]

I can't. I can't wait till she comes here. I'm going to the tour.

[Matt]

Katy Perry's. That was a good. I was expecting that to be terrible. The music video was great. Do yourself a favor and watch Katy Perry's World's World music video.

[Omar]

I. I thought the one part was really powerful.

[Matt]

There was one part that was extremely powerful. And me and the crew ran it back and started chanting, women. Women. It is a woman's world.

[Omar]

Very. It was a very powerful. Just that shot.

[Matt]

In general, she's trying to tap into the drags.

[Omar]

Yeah, you're talking about just by.

[Matt]

No, not that. Just making that song. Yeah, that's a good song. She also was a host on RuPaul's Drag Race. I've seen. Trust me, daddy, I know all about the drag. Every once in a while, when it's a woman's TV choice, I have to watch RuPaul Drag Race.

[Omar]

You should remake Greece. That'd be a good movie. Remake Greece. But it's really all just drag queens and doing drag racing. But instead of the cars, they're just, like, walking towards each other and being like.

[Matt]

One of the drag queens on the last season was a bit of a greaser, really. You're not far off, man. You've got a. You've got a keen eye for the drag. Would obviously be the most powerful drag here. I would be number two. It is about size and girth. I'd be a mean queen, dude.

[Omar]

Do you think the mayor would take the throne as the number one queen?

[Matt]

If you watch the show, you'll see who they like. They like a portly fellow that does that. I'd be a giant, though, because they wear, like. Giant. Yeah. I'd be six, seven.

[Omar]

Oh, God. How big. How big of a. Do you think you could be?

[Matt]

I could be a. You know, I can be a. You've seen me be a little nasty. You've been. You've been around people when I was being a little nasty to them, you go, God damn, I be a nasty. I could probably be one of the nastier.

[Omar]

That's so funny.

[Matt]

I know deep down I'd be a nasty queen, dude. I got to get my flexibility up, though. They. I got it true.

[Omar]

That must be sick, though, Just being a girl and being mad and just being like, I have no repercussion. Say the most off the wall right now. Oh, yeah, it's got to feel so good.

[Matt]

And I'm a. He'll forgive me in a day. All I have to do is say sorry once. In fact, I don't even have to say sorry. I have to just be kind of nice. The next day.

[Omar]

I have to vaguely acknowledge the guy.

[Matt]

That I'm dating or married to. Will just go, yeah, it. Yeah, yeah. I don't give a. I know you're dumb. No, that wasn't directed at anyone. That was a joke.

[Omar]

It's just. It is funny, though, just to, like, be brewing. Wake up.

[Matt]

Like, dude, ever since I got my gun, I've just been so sassy. Really. Ever since the gun's been in the house, I've just been going, who wants it?

[Omar]

Yeah, what's up? What's going on?

[Matt]

Any bump in the night last night?

[Omar]

Clip.

[Matt]

Clip was loaded.

[Omar]

Yeah. You, like, literally wake up feeling sorry.

[Matt]

For whoever it is.

[Omar]

Like, I might scared feel sorry.

[Matt]

It'd be insane what would happen to them.

[Omar]

I feel sorry for you right now. Yeah, I'm going to try that. I'm going to do one day where I just wake up and just.

[Matt]

The cops will get called.

[Omar]

I'm not gonna hit her.

[Matt]

No, I know, but if you said.

[Omar]

Not even say, talk the way they.

[Matt]

Talk to us, the police would be there.

[Omar]

I'd be so true. I'll be way more subtle, though. It'll be like, what's the matter? And I'll be like. I'll be like that all day. Just wake up and it's like, my arm's hot. Like, what? Good sleep?

[Matt]

Something's going on.

[Omar]

My right hand's really warm right now. No, get off of it. Leave it alone. I don't want you to touch it. I want you to look at my arm. You see how long I can make it. You would cry. You would start laughing.

[Matt]

Well, if you did it to me.

[Omar]

No, not you. I wouldn't do it to you.

[Matt]

Yeah.

[Omar]

I have a different target. You.

[Matt]

A targeted strike. You might hit some civilians, though. I think the kid, the kids might be some collateral damage on that one. You do a targeted strike in response to pure terrorism.

[Omar]

I'm getting a coffee and I'm like, there's too much syrup in here. I got this coffee today, and I was laughing. I. I want to start going to coffee. Like, the same coffee shop every day. Getting the same thing and every. Like, as I sip it, walking out of the door, I'm going to go, ah, it tastes like. And just walk out every day. Just every day.

[Matt]

Yeah, that's good.

[Omar]

It tastes like.

[Matt]

I'm sick of eating this. Come on, let's go.

[Omar]

Just go. Jesus Christ. Just throw it out and walk out and just do it every day.

[Matt]

Oh, man. I just hope Katy Perry recovers.

[Omar]

Me, too.

[Matt]

I'm starting to. I'm starting to join KP's side now.

[Omar]

Good. You're a powerful.

[Matt]

The space landing, not good optics, but that's not.

[Omar]

That's a learning movement moment. Then she linked up with. What was it?

[Matt]

Dr. Luke. Question.

[Omar]

That's where I draw the line. No, Katie, it's no hanging out with Dr. Luke.

[Matt]

I don't hang out with Dr. Luke. It's sick to team up with Dr. Luke and then make a powerful song. Yeah. I don't know. It's. It's one of those things where it's like, yeah, a bunch of ladies went into space and acted like idiots.

[Omar]

Yeah.

[Matt]

So what. What did you think was going to happen? Are we all.

[Omar]

Yeah, they.

[Matt]

They were just ladies.

[Omar]

They might as well have rode one.

[Matt]

Of those, like, six wives got launched. How did you think that was?

[Omar]

They should have launched him on one of those, like, bicycles where you all face each other and blast music. That's all that was.

[Matt]

They could have hit him with. Yeah, Peloton.

[Omar]

The Bar Ra Bike o.

[Matt]

That one.

[Omar]

The bachelorette party where they're all like.

[Matt]

Oh, yeah, for sure. They can't handle those. Why did. Who thought they were going to handle Blue Horizon? Warning. The Quest Protein Milkshake is the world's most powerful milkshake with 45 grams of protein.

[Omar]

It may even be too powerful, too.

[Matt]

Rich, too creamy, too delicious.

[Omar]

Warning.

[Matt]

Do not drink if you do not want to achieve gains.

[Omar]

Repeat, do not drink if you don't want gains. Enjoy at your own risk. Quest Nutrition. Big on protein, low on sugar, huge on flavor. It's basically cheating. I just hope they raise enough awareness for Bezos's mission to launch trash into space.

[Matt]

Yeah, he started by launching trash. Have any of those bicycle things been hit by a truck yet?

[Omar]

Been, bro. Had to have been. I've been on one before, and it's like after riding one, I'm like, these things got to get clipped, man. Cuz you're just in the street, there's just a guy like, looks over shoulder and just hits the street.

[Matt]

This guy hitting an on ramp. And you're out there going, oh, oh.

[Omar]

Into the wrong side of the highway. You're like, dude, come on, dude, come on.

[Matt]

Yeah, I. I'd like to know.

[Omar]

Take me home tonight. You're just riding in fucking southbound traffic.

[Matt]

That's a good. Yeah, that would be funny. Just a suicide mission.

[Omar]

Yeah. Suicide bike ride.

[Matt]

Ladies hop on especially.

[Omar]

He's just driving and just like. And then so I told her, he's like, I can't, man.

[Matt]

Mopac, you don't.

[Omar]

Right into the river. You don't even pedal. You don't pedal at all. You just sit. Your pedaling does nothing on those things, dude. That's how ladies used to kill themselves back in the day. You just hop in the river, you're just ready for the river. And you would just be like it and jump in.

[Matt]

Yeah, that's usually how they got rid of their kids too. Oh, Jesus. We're taking you straight to the lake. Why don't you sit in the back of the car? I'm gonna put it in neutral right down the boat ramp. I'm tired of crying. I want to go out with my friends.

[Omar]

Yeah. I want to hang out. I want to go. I want to be a flapper. Did you ever, like, get to really.

[Matt]

Going at the women?

[Omar]

No, the flapper. That was in 1920.

[Matt]

I know what a flapper. I'm just saying the beginning of this has all been like, women are annoying.

[Omar]

I like, we're on Katy Berry. What are you talking about?

[Matt]

We support them.

[Omar]

We do. Dude, we're lucky to be living in.

[Matt]

One of those bike things. Get clipped yet. I'm gonna try to make sure. No, this thing get clipped. It just fell.

[Omar]

It just fell over.

[Matt]

Yeah, just. They were going too fast. They were flying well, I appreciate that.

[Omar]

And it tipped over.

[Matt]

Yeah.

[Omar]

Dang.

[Matt]

Damn. They probably got pretty hurt. Oh, yeah, I saw the sky bar. You ever see those things? They put like a bar on a crane. What? Yeah. Really? Just high in the air? No, I saw one of the cables snapped on one of those and it like.

[Omar]

Oh, they didn't. It turned into the fucking fun house, dude.

[Matt]

Turned into a real fun house. Damn. Seemed like the scariest thing I've ever seen. I think it was in Puerto Rico. I could be wrong. Okay, maybe difference.

[Omar]

Your father. Puerto Rico, sky bar. Damn. I didn't know they do that. They just lift you up in a. Dude, when you're up that high too, the wind catches you and you're swaying like. Seems like it's a terrible idea.

[Matt]

Yeah, the entire time.

[Omar]

True.

[Matt]

They're drinking.

[Omar]

Oh, I didn't even think about that.

[Matt]

Where do you.

[Omar]

I guess they have like a little commode. What do you even do?

[Matt]

Piss.

[Omar]

Hey, now, now. Actually, you could sell me on going up Puerto Rican ladies pee on me. And.

[Matt]

You gotta start selling tickets to the underneath. A little side hu.

[Omar]

Muscle just drowning in white claw piss. Now we're talking. That thing's no holds bar, dude.

[Matt]

True. I gotta head to San Juan. I got a business.

[Omar]

Yeah, that's the woman's world I dream of.

[Matt]

Just get a poncho like you're the lady of the mist.

[Omar]

I would be voguing up there, dude, if I was at the Puerto Rican sky pe bar.

[Matt]

Yo, you look up this Puerto Rican sky p bar. We gotta fact check this.

[Omar]

True.

[Matt]

Sorry. We have an all black crew today. They're both preoccupied with the NBA playoffs.

[Omar]

Checking stats.

[Matt]

Dude, the NBA playoffs. Need to chill on the commercials.

[Omar]

What's good? What are they doing, bro?

[Matt]

They. They are targeting the African American community with intensity.

[Omar]

Wait, how so?

[Matt]

Before every single commercial is catered to black people.

[Omar]

Gotcha. Gotcha.

[Matt]

But it's like, almost like.

[Omar]

It's not race war, Stu.

[Matt]

No, it's not race war stuff, but it's a little like. Wingstop's taking up a bunch of.

[Omar]

Really? Yeah, a lot of wing shots.

[Matt]

You'Re watching.

[Omar]

Yeah.

[Matt]

Spread it out.

[Omar]

Shame on them.

[Matt]

Put one on the PGA tours. Throw it off a little.

[Omar]

Tossing a pet boys. That. Shame on them.

[Matt]

Yeah. It's literally. It's sprite.

[Omar]

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

[Matt]

Somebody was saying the other day, it's there like a. It's crazy that the Wingstop commercial isn't racist because it's just a black guy. Wingstop commercial's the most racist commercial I've ever seen. Racist as hell. He's a cool black guy. Just you describe it. I can't even describe the Wingstop commercial without sounding racist.

[Omar]

It's a trap.

[Matt]

He's trying to pull out a Jenga piece, and then they put a piece of chicken in his face and he's like, whoa. And his eyes knock over the Jenga. Oh, that's the other one.

[Omar]

That's the no flex zone.

[Matt]

Yeah. That's a good one, though. I'm talking. There's a new Wingstop commercial where it's a base I think it's supposed to be an NBA player and he's. He's doing the whole fashion walkthrough that they do. And then he hops in a limo and just crushes chicken. And every white guy on earth goes, I knew that's what they're doing. I knew that's what was going on in those cool limos. In case you still want to know, it was Puerto Rico. It was. It was one of the bars. They said it. This a thing snapped and all of the bartenders just started screaming all at once.

[Omar]

And there's no.

[Matt]

Yeah, it's like that. They're not like pilots. They're not gonna be like, oh, okay, we've got. Yeah, we've got a cable.

[Omar]

Yeah.

[Matt]

Screaming and praying. Oh, yeah, they're Puerto Rican sky bartenders, dude. Surprised they weren't screaming and praying from the start.

[Omar]

That's a major iarumba, dude. If you. If. If one cable snaps in Rican sky bar, I'm. That's when my accent comes out. Honestly. Holy.

[Matt]

No, no, no, no, no.

[Omar]

God damn. I didn't know they did that. That's awesome, cuz. You could spin that thing around too.

[Matt]

You can do whatever you want.

[Omar]

You could.

[Matt]

You got to get all terror to.

[Omar]

I believe it's important to take care of mental health issues because.

[Matt]

Oh, yeah, well, you gotta be careful, man.

[Omar]

You know, you can't. You got to get your mental health, otherwise you can really take off, man. Next thing you know, you're wearing a. A cool necklace you think everyone's gonna like, and then everyone's mad at you.

[Matt]

And it's true.

[Omar]

Turns out you should just went through a therapist instead of went to a therapist.

[Matt]

Said, would it be cool if I got a dragon medallion? And they would go, absolutely.

[Omar]

Absolutely not.

[Matt]

They would say, are you the man?

[Omar]

You go, yeah, actually, we have a camp I think your dad's been trying to sign you up for and straighten you out.

[Matt]

I'm gonna pray.

[Omar]

Yeah. I mean, we used to think that dragon medallions were cool, and then we went to therapy and the therapist actually, he beat me. Therapist beat it out.

[Matt]

That's why we don't go to that therapist anymore.

[Omar]

And that's why we use better help, guys. How we look at and treat mental health issues has come a long way, but there's room for improvement. In a recent survey, 26% claimed they've avoided seeking mental health support due to fear of judgment for mental health awareness month. Let's break that stigma and encourage people to get help when they need it. May's mental health awareness month. Dang. That's pretty cool.

[Matt]

That's nice.

[Omar]

Yeah, we can do it in May.

[Matt]

And then, you know, I wasn't even aware.

[Omar]

Yeah, I didn't know that. That's. That's a huge problem. So. Yeah, it's just helped me just feel more comfortable. I have really fat thighs and I've been uncomfortable about them.

[Matt]

No, you have very nice thighs, Matt.

[Omar]

I mean, they used to be fat. I've turned them purely those. We should go to couples therapy and just talk about what you would do to my thighs. And it's. They've actually, we have done that. They've benefited greatly from couples therapy. Shane's made me feel like my thighs are beautiful. Well, they are things he's done to them.

[Matt]

I've wrapped them around my ears.

[Omar]

Guys, if you're ready to start therapy but not entirely sure where to begin, check out BetterHelp. It's affordable and convenient since everything is fully online and they currently serve over 5 million people worldwide. So, you know, you're not alone when it comes to seeking help.

[Matt]

That's good.

[Omar]

We're all better with help. Visit betterhelp.commssp to get 10% off your first month. That's BetterHelp. H E L p.commssp that's a good ad read. It's a great ad read.

[Matt]

They're gonna love that. Yeah, the commercials. The only time you see like purely white commercials is Fox.

[Omar]

Yeah.

[Matt]

And at the heart of white commercials is my pillow. Gold coins. What else? They do like help the jews commercials.

[Omar]

Yeah, I like the right wing, like take on car. There's always like right wing coffees. That makes me laugh.

[Matt]

Oh, yeah, true.

[Omar]

Because you never see a right wing coffee shop. I just got these coffees, dude, it's. Man, it's pretty wild in there.

[Matt]

The right wing coffee is. It's a good move.

[Omar]

Yeah.

[Matt]

Because it's only the gayest coffee.

[Omar]

I know. Every coffee shop is like, you know, like above and beyond. It's one thing to be like, hey, come on in and have some coffee. It's like by entering this you are sworn.

[Matt]

You are now you are an ally.

[Omar]

Yeah. They hand you just like an antifa black face mask. That'd be nice to have a coffee shop where it's just like, you know, no balls in girls sports. I saw, I saw a sign that had that the other day. There was a guy running for like local office. I don't forget where I was. But it was like, keep the balls out of girls sports. Once and for all, hire me to city council. I was like, let me tell you, if he gets elected. And it's like, all right, dude, wake it. Let's go.

[Matt]

Get rid of the balls.

[Omar]

She's like, I'm hitting the locker room right now.

[Matt]

Turns out there was one in a neighboring district.

[Omar]

Yeah.

[Matt]

So that problem was already solved here. Time for me to focus on infrastructure. I wasn't ready for that. I was more of the balls guy. So I'm a little in over my head on this one.

[Omar]

I ran on children's genitals and I.

[Matt]

I ran on a campaign of entirely children's genitals. Turns out, wasn't as prevalent as I thought. Pretty much everyone in this district agrees.

[Omar]

You gotta set up a false flag.

[Matt]

Yeah.

[Omar]

You have your 13 year old son. You're like, look, it's for the good of the.

[Matt]

It's for the dynasty. It's for the family, the city council dynasty.

[Omar]

We could be the next. Next Bushes. Yeah, that's a. That's a while. I mean, he probably got elected. Where the was I? I don't remember. Oh, you know, I think it was in. No, it wasn't in. It was in Alabama when we were down there. We were driving.

[Matt]

That's a layup. Yeah, bro. He's dead.

[Omar]

Holy 360 tomahawk. Dude, I was in San Francisco this weekend and it was that we drove through like the Mission District. I think that's like there like Kensington, dude. It's wild. I can't. But it's not as like big and thick as Kensington, but it's. It's insane. I drove Shoe Paul's. My bad. I drove through and dude, they have like. I've been like dense with people. It's not as like big and thick as veiny as Kensington.

[Matt]

As veiny and throbbing is Kensington.

[Omar]

Not oozing pre. But they have like a different drug guy. You know, Kensington has like the bend it over guys. In San Francisco, there's like these guys and they just walk around like they're.

[Matt]

It's crazy.

[Omar]

It's a new guy.

[Matt]

Stuck walking.

[Omar]

Yeah, stuck walkers, they're just like this. They're. They're like this. And they just kind of like scramble around. I've never seen those guys.

[Matt]

It is nice. It is nice that it's like a zombie video game game where you're like, why are there different zombies in every level? But it actually is like that.

[Omar]

I don't know what that drug is.

[Matt]

That's not like Final stop is la San Diego with the screaming Runners. Austin's got the screaming runners. Dude, screaming runners is terrifying.

[Omar]

I don't know if that's like, the meth fighting the heroin and they just get, like, stuck.

[Matt]

Could be because it was.

[Omar]

Why. And they weren't like.

[Matt]

If they're older guys.

[Omar]

Oh, my God. It's just like scoliosis untreated. They were, like, on the younger side, like, in their 30s, just hunched and then twisted too.

[Matt]

Nice.

[Omar]

I want to get a poke.

[Matt]

Low pad level. They're ready to.

[Omar]

Ready.

[Matt]

Low man wins.

[Omar]

I want to get a Pokedex where I can just identify them.

[Matt]

Yeah.

[Omar]

A twisty, bendy.

[Matt]

We. If.

[Omar]

Mild aggressiveness.

[Matt]

If America declines enough and we bring back, basically the Coliseum, we need to toss these boys in.

[Omar]

True.

[Matt]

I got a feeling the heroin boys and northeast are gonna be tough. I think the. The screaming runners here are all talk. I think the heroin boys are gonna be tough.

[Omar]

Yeah. And then for, like, the card, like, the round girls, we can just get, like, street prostitutes.

[Matt]

Yeah.

[Omar]

Like toothless street. Street prostitutes.

[Matt]

How tough do you think the Midwest Zombies are going to be? Midwest zombies are. They're not even zombies. They're like white meth.

[Omar]

Yeah.

[Matt]

The. I don't know.

[Omar]

They'd be technicians, for sure.

[Matt]

Yeah. Yeah. They'd be working on the crafts because we would have to get into pod racing. We would have to let these boys operate some motor vehicles.

[Omar]

We need the weight class. We need, like, the 95 pound to, like, 97.

[Matt]

110.

[Omar]

115 heavyweights.

[Matt]

It's 110.

[Omar]

And you got to watch the women's league because you would have a lot.

[Matt]

Women's league would be nice.

[Omar]

Yeah. But you'd have to be careful with the. You have a lot of Joanna, man sneaking into there.

[Matt]

There would be a lot of Joanna, man. Keep the balls out of homeless fighting. Trip the. Out of homeless fighting. Who's your pick to win? The Screaming Runners. On paper, they could be a paper.

[Omar]

Tiger, but they'd be more of, like, Xbox. They'd be off the ropes. They'd be more off.

[Matt]

I saw him at an airport.

[Omar]

You almost got me. But no, you did. I did. I saw Pop.

[Matt]

Dude, I.

[Omar]

For real.

[Matt]

I'm starting to come back around on that, too. I think you might have saw.

[Omar]

I did, dude. I swear. I saw Pop.

[Matt]

You need to start screaming Xbox. So many people. Anyway, dude with long hair. You gotta go Xbox. He was wearing a bandana and cool glasses in a tank top. It was definitely Xbox. Every single white dude with long hair dresses like Xbox.

[Omar]

I swear, dude, I think I was on my way to Puerto Rico when I saw Xbox.

[Matt]

You gotta do a sky bar for sure. Black guy with dreads and tattoos and be like, John Moran. He's like, dude, they all. All. There's every dude with dreads that skinny looks like that.

[Omar]

We'Ll never know. I have to call my friend because he was there. Like, you remember when we saw Pac?

[Matt]

That used to be our dreads. Yeah.

[Omar]

Curly hair, like that wet, curly hair.

[Matt]

Yeah, true. That was much more prevalent.

[Omar]

It was.

[Matt]

It really was like every other guy.

[Omar]

Yeah, Just part right down the middle.

[Matt]

It's pretty sick.

[Omar]

That was tight.

[Matt]

Whites had swag back then, dude.

[Omar]

White's had crazy swag.

[Matt]

Come on, man. Whites had crazy swag.

[Omar]

Crunch.

[Matt]

We were going nuts. That might have been your worst look error. What, the long hair, like, crazy little barbed wire tattoo? Yeah. That's just sick. Glasses. Yeah.

[Omar]

To be fair, we were in, like, a weird incubating stages. That's kind of when white people started trying to dress like black people. So we were in, like, a weird.

[Matt]

We weren't sure what to be.

[Omar]

Yeah, we were still. Yeah, we were still transitioning. Ah, you guys. You guys kept switching it up so fast on us. Like, give us time, man.

[Matt]

Then you guys copied us. Kanye brought out the polo, and we. That. Us. That reset us.

[Omar]

But we untucked them.

[Matt]

It made it a little more free. You guys always kept the polo tucked. It's a whole different thing. Don't get me started on race war, dude.

[Omar]

Dude, right now, talking to stuff.

[Matt]

As soon as I got my gun, dude, I was fully race.

[Omar]

Did you. Did you. Have you been on X in a while? Yeah, mine is for real.

[Matt]

Me and Nate were just having this argument.

[Omar]

Were you really?

[Matt]

Not an argument. Just a nice discussion, dude.

[Omar]

Mine is.

[Matt]

Algorithm's fired up.

[Omar]

Yeah. Mine's full on Race war. Like, race baiting and not even, like, you know, like this. It's like, go back to Africa level. Like, it's insane, man. The lady who gave the finger and said the N word has raised, like, 600,000 bucks. And then there's like. But she's against the guy who murdered a guy. Yeah, Allegedly murdered a.

[Matt]

No, he did. He definitely stabbed a kid in the heart in front of everyone, and the kid died in his brother's arms.

[Omar]

Yeah.

[Matt]

And people are more offended that the lady who said a word has a gofundme, but she has more.

[Omar]

That's the problem.

[Matt]

Oh, she made more. The lady who said a word.

[Omar]

Yeah.

[Matt]

Or the guy who stabbed a. Well, the kid who stabbed.

[Omar]

Yeah, he didn't make enough. That's a problem.

[Matt]

He didn't make enough money.

[Omar]

No. He only made like $400,000.

[Matt]

No, I think they made more than that because they got an Escalade in like a house.

[Omar]

Yeah, he did.

[Matt]

Allegedly.

[Omar]

No, I saw that report as well.

[Matt]

But who knows about these reports? Dude, I'm getting hit with.

[Omar]

I'm. I'm for them having like some somewhat of an equitable share of their funds. I think they should get married.

[Matt]

One crime is more severe than the other. Saying a word or stabbing someone in the heart.

[Omar]

Yeah, I mean, I could see you thinking that.

[Matt]

That's where I get. That's my. That's my little hang. Is one person talked.

[Omar]

Yeah.

[Matt]

And the other person stabbed.

[Omar]

The craziest part. I don't know how people even researched it. The guy videoing the lady is apparently a pedophile.

[Matt]

Of course.

[Omar]

Allegedly. I don't know if this is true.

[Matt]

Why the pedophiles keep filming people. They keep getting involved.

[Omar]

They're like, he's a pedophile. I don't know how they even. You can't even see the guy's face. And like, he's a pedophile. And then the.

[Matt]

They might be tossing these pedophile charges out willy nilly. Because you can literally lay on the ground at a protest and shoot a guy and chances are he's gonna be a pedophile. Chances are everyone's gonna go, no.

[Omar]

I watched a clip of. I think. I think it was on the Sean Ryan podcast he had a guy on who like, does bust pedophiles. And he's like, dude, it is so much more prevalent than you think. Child porn, specifically. He goes, dude, I don't. We'll get age restricted, but you know the stuff. Yeah, whatever. But the. Yeah. He goes, dude, the amount of, like, the sheer volume we're tracking of people accessing it is super high. And according to him, he was like. And it's all. It's high in like 20 year olds. So he's like, you get a lot of. You get a lot of younger dudes hitting the cp. God. Yeah, man. It's up now.

[Matt]

How do you even find that stuff?

[Omar]

How do you find it? I. Dude, I. So I've been blocked.

[Matt]

Funny. It's a funny bit. Yeah, I know. Just being like, where. Where do you even find something like that?

[Omar]

I think it's like a reverse runner situation. How, like, kids ask, like, guys like us to buy them alcohol. You got to go to a school and be like, just hang outside and be like, yo, can you just point.

[Matt]

Me in a direct.

[Omar]

Yo, can you. They go into school, you gotta wait outside school for them to come out.

[Matt]

Like, you know, they score up, somebody comes out, goes, get the out of you.

[Omar]

Go. Oh, we got to go. Go, go, go, go. Oh.

[Matt]

My dad's going to beat the out of me for this. My, my dad's going to be so pissed. I was trying to score. Child born at a school.

[Omar]

Here's the car at home. Like, I didn't do it.

[Matt]

I said no music on in the car at home.

[Omar]

Here's in the back seat. Look.

[Matt]

That is, it's not true. Liar.

[Omar]

It was my friends. I was just there. I was just skateboarding there.

[Matt]

I didn't even want to.

[Omar]

That stuff getting. Dude, it's like going out to the world and like at 35, getting rounded up for some CP and having to crash land back in the parents nest. Man, what a nightmare. What a nightmare. Yeah, you got to move in and kill your dad. You can't. I first step is like, I got to kill my dad.

[Matt]

I, I got to go back to get it. Get a, get a win in the, you know, get one in the win column. And then let's build from there. Step one, I got to kill my.

[Omar]

Dad before that first breakfast together. He's reading the newspaper.

[Matt]

Breakfast.

[Omar]

He reading the newspaper down, looking at.

[Matt]

You going.

[Omar]

Jesus Christ.

[Matt]

Your mom trying to smooth it over a little.

[Omar]

All the.

[Matt]

It's fine. All the kids are doing it. I just read a report that said it's a lot more prevalent than you think. Thanks, mom. It is.

[Omar]

Well, that would be rough stuff.

[Matt]

It's a tough bit.

[Omar]

I mean, it is funny to think about your dad just going, what the hell are you thinking? I don't know what you're doing.

[Matt]

I don't know. I learned it from you.

[Omar]

I only look.

[Matt]

I found it under your bed.

[Omar]

I only looked at one. One. All right, four. All right, I was four.

[Matt]

I looked at four job boards.

[Omar]

Just gives you the belt.

[Matt]

You got to get the belt. Hello?

[Omar]

Dad?

[Matt]

Yeah.

[Omar]

Can I take your car?

[Matt]

Your car? A couple of guys want to meet. You're not going anywhere. I hate this place. I make one mistake and my whole summer's ruined.

[Omar]

Your wife and kids are living with you.

[Matt]

Oh, man, there are some true ride or die though.

[Omar]

Yeah.

[Matt]

The ladies that stick around with a convicted.

[Omar]

It's crazy.

[Matt]

I knew a guy like Mrs. Sandusky. I think held it down.

[Omar]

Did she really? Yeah, dang, bro.

[Matt]

I think she held it down big time.

[Omar]

Did she really?

[Matt]

Yeah.

[Omar]

Yeah. She was like, oh, come on.

[Matt]

The Netflix film and the suns. Yeah. Mrs. Menendez held it down.

[Omar]

Dang.

[Matt]

I mean, if she literally ride or die. She died. She did. She was there till the end, eating ice cream, watching TV, getting popped.

[Omar]

I mean, Mrs. Sandusky probably, like, went to a priest and was like, I don't know what to do. And he was like.

[Matt]

Small. It's a Small potatoes. You guys are gonna be fine. This is nothing. He's probably just gonna switch schools and just do it again, Dude. It's sick.

[Omar]

Hopefully the new Pope cracks down.

[Matt]

Hopefully. We need the black Pope. We need Africa core Pope.

[Omar]

I thought we did. We knocked a poop. I thought we got.

[Matt]

Oh, we got one, I think.

[Omar]

Did we get a Pope?

[Matt]

I feel like I would have. I feel.

[Omar]

I feel fatherless right now.

[Matt]

I heard about that.

[Omar]

Smoke didn't change.

[Matt]

We would have heard about that.

[Omar]

They're still in there, chief.

[Matt]

And the cardinals are chief.

[Omar]

Chiefing frankincense and 16.

[Matt]

Dude. AP news says 13 minutes ago, the conclave to elect a new Pope has officially begun. Yo, let's go.

[Omar]

That's sick. Was like, a cardinal. Hold it down in the meantime. No, there's got to be some dude that's calling, I guess.

[Matt]

No, yeah, I guess there's a guy, the head guy that runs the conclave.

[Omar]

Yeah.

[Matt]

Yeah.

[Omar]

Dang. That's got to be so tight, dude. Just, like, finally we get to burn all this incense and do all this shit and true.

[Matt]

And they're mostly geezers. Like, this is probably my last one.

[Omar]

Yeah, rocks.

[Matt]

It looks scary. It's like, all the cardinals descending upon, like, the Vatican. It looks scary. You should be scared. You should fear God, homie. Yeah, dude, I fear God, homie.

[Omar]

Yeah, that's. That'd be tight just to listen to those conversations.

[Matt]

You guys need to become Catholic. Look who it is.

[Omar]

Oh, baby Billy.

[Matt]

Little baby Billy. Not gonna answer that. Yeah, let me. Who's in the running for the. For the.

[Omar]

Yeah. What do we got?

[Matt]

The Holy. See, I look it up. I didn't know they told you that. If, like. Like, you're like, this is a young Catholic prospect from Minnesota. I swear there's an African priest.

[Omar]

Dang. Do you think they have, like, an error rating for, like, how many times they touch kids? He's got, like, a 0.2, 3 point do. Three errors on field. They got to fire up some candidates.

[Matt]

Let's go.

[Omar]

This is a pivotal moment for the Catholic Church. They need to fire up. They need to break the mold. It'd be Sick. If Obama was just the Pope. Obama, you get out there. He's like, come on, brothers. Come to j. Come to church. Come on. Come on, brother.

[Matt]

That's a crazy Obama impression.

[Omar]

That's what he did last.

[Matt]

That was the most recent one.

[Omar]

That was the most recent, recent one. He goes, come on, brother.

[Matt]

Yeah, the brothers. You letting us. Brother. Yo, here he is.

[Omar]

What is it?

[Matt]

Damn. The black. The black cardinal's name is Peter Turon.

[Omar]

Peter Turon.

[Matt]

He's got the easiest name out of everybody to try to. I was trying to tell him to. They're all Italian.

[Omar]

Yeah.

[Matt]

Mat Z.

[Omar]

Did you. Did you ever get, like, when, like, the African missionary priests would come to your church on, like, a random Sunday? Yeah, I still love when those guys came.

[Matt]

We had a guy stay as our priest for, like, way too long.

[Omar]

Did you really?

[Matt]

Mechanicsburg. People getting a little tired of it, you know, I can't even understand the homily. I don't know one thing this guy's saying. Yeah, he was a good brother.

[Omar]

What do you just, like, lifted one of the older boys up in front of everyone? This is a new king.

[Matt]

No Africa Corp. Pope would be sick. Dude.

[Omar]

That would be so tight.

[Matt]

I don't want peace. I want problems all the time. You hit the Nigerian. Who wants to be a millionaire? Hit a. It's okay to be gay now.

[Omar]

No. Yeah, we need that. We need to switch it up. If we get another, like, yeah, like an aged Italian guy, it's time to switch it up a little bit.

[Matt]

I agree.

[Omar]

This episode is brought to you by Amazon. Sometimes the most painful part of getting sick is the getting better part. Waiting on hold for an appointment, sitting in crowded waiting rooms, standing in line at the pharmacy. That's painful. Amazon One Medical and Amazon Pharmacy remove those painful parts of getting better with things like 247 virtual visits and prescriptions delivered to your door thanks to Amazon.

[Matt]

Pharmacy and Amazon One Medical Healthcare just got less painful.

[Omar]

What you got?

[Matt]

There's a Filipino Pope. Filipino Pope? I don't mind that. There's a Filipino guy in the wrong. A couple Filipino guys, it looks like. What guy? From Jerusalem. Oh, is he back?

[Omar]

Is he back? Could he be.

[Matt]

Cardinal? And I can't even begin. His last name is Pizza Baller. Oh, yeah, that's the one. That's the one people are hyped on.

[Omar]

What's Pizza Ball up to?

[Matt]

Pizza Ball? It says he's a. He's a cardinal.

[Omar]

He's 60, so he's kind of young.

[Matt]

Damn, he's from Jerusalem.

[Omar]

What?

[Matt]

He's the. He's the Bishop of Jerusalem. Whoa. He enjoyed a simple country life. Oh.

[Omar]

I don't know how. I don't know about that, but I think it's simple.

[Matt]

It's crazy. Look at the advertisement for this.

[Omar]

This is a yodeling.

[Matt]

The lady on all fours says gynecologist baffled. Simple stretch relieves bladder leakage.

[Omar]

What the.

[Matt]

Are they targeting me with that USA Today, dude?

[Omar]

Just a lady leaking out in the downward dog walk. Yeah, that's. That's true. That's the thing.

[Matt]

I mean, Pizza Ball has got a good. He studied at Hebrew University and was able to absorb non Christian points of view and learn the Hebrew language. He earned a reputation as a trusted emissary among the Christian, Muslim and Jewish communities in the Holy Land. What could be the bro to unite.

[Omar]

The bros. Yeah, Pizza Baller could be nice. You could definitely form.

[Matt]

Oh, dude, what'd you get? In the wake of October 7, the attacks by Hamas, Pizza ballot called for prayer and even offered himself as a hostage.

[Omar]

Oh, that was the guy.

[Matt]

In exchange for the release of children.

[Omar]

I know that guy. Pizza Ball is the movie is kind.

[Matt]

Of a beast for that.

[Omar]

Yeah, he is. They didn't take Pizza Bowl.

[Matt]

Hamas is dumb as they should have took him up on that and cut his head off right away. If Hamas was really about that life now.

[Omar]

If he cut off a cardinal's head, they would have gotten crushed. Yeah.

[Matt]

Assemble the army.

[Omar]

It is funny. Him standing there and they're like, no, no, no, no, no, dude, we're gonna keep these kids.

[Matt]

Yeah. Be like, no, dude, we do not want the smoke.

[Omar]

Damn. He went white boy crazy on the muzzle. Take me right now. He just carried a grease drudged a crucifix down to the Gaza. Take me.

[Matt]

Oh, Pizza Ball love.

[Omar]

I remember hearing about that.

[Matt]

I want to learn about the. The African fellow.

[Omar]

Yeah, I would like to learn more.

[Matt]

But I'm not talking about the Algerian dude. That's.

[Omar]

Who's the Algerian guy? Oh, that guy.

[Matt]

Who's John Mark Aveline.

[Omar]

Yeah. Who's trying to say he's the Pope. He's the real Pope. It's like, no, dude, you're the real Jews. Chill. You can't have everything. I'm the Jews and the Pope. It's like, all right, hold on.

[Matt]

There's a guy named Joe Tobin from New Jersey.

[Omar]

Joe Tobin?

[Matt]

Yo, Joe Tobin all the way from Newark.

[Omar]

He's just a deacon that threw his hat in the ring.

[Matt]

We've never had an American bull.

[Omar]

We haven't actually.

[Matt]

Could you be my American.

[Omar]

Damn. Italy really is like the New York City of the. If you want to really make it in the oh, yeah, Pope business, you got to go to Italy.

[Matt]

American Pope would be dope. I think it'd be sick. Yeah. It'd be the young Pope.

[Omar]

Yeah.

[Matt]

Yeah.

[Omar]

They're not gonna. They're not gonna do Joe Tobin. Joe Tobin from Tom's River, New Jersey. Damn.

[Matt]

Peter Turkson, native of Ghana. Let's see. Let's see who else we got.

[Omar]

Ghana could be nice.

[Matt]

I want him credentials on issues of poverty, climate change.

[Omar]

Climate change.

[Matt]

Pope Beat It Club.

[Omar]

But the church has been hard on. They've been like, going hard for climate change.

[Matt]

Oh. But Turks and Lean's conservative on matters is such as homosexuality and.

[Omar]

Dang. Do they reception.

[Matt]

Do I have a meeting right now?

[Omar]

Oh, no, that'd be nice if they vote.

[Matt]

Like, what.

[Omar]

What do we think about gay stuff? And there's some guys like, man, whatever.

[Matt]

That's a big. That's a big part of it.

[Omar]

Yeah, true.

[Matt]

Yeah. You gotta stand up and go, fellas.

[Omar]

It is funny. Just have a room full of.

[Matt]

With that.

[Omar]

Just. Also, a ton of those dudes in there are gay.

[Matt]

Yeah.

[Omar]

Just like, bro, I've never even heard of that. What the is that?

[Matt]

Ew. What now? How would somebody go about finding out about something?

[Omar]

How do you even do that? I'm curious, guys. Please come. I think next weekend, May 16th and the 17th, I'll be in. I'll be at the Crest theater in Sacramento, California. Then the Neptune Theater at Seattle, Washington, and then the Hollywood Improv at Hollywood, California, in June 25. But next weekend's a big one. Please come to that.

[Matt]

Yeah.

[Omar]

Thank you.

[Matt]

May 31st, Des Moines, Iowa. Come on. What are you waiting for? Hey, everybody, it's me, Lemaire again.

[Omar]

What?

[Matt]

You guys, you're full of. Dude, that's crazy. This is a squat. Hey, would you go to my show in Florida at coastal creative on May 9?

[Omar]

Let me test the. Let me test the Resistance on May 9th.

[Matt]

May 9th. And on Friday, going anywhere. Saturday, May 7th, where I'm cool. Headlining with John Rudnitsky or whatever. Don't say or whatever like you're better. I'm not better, but I didn't like that it happened. This episode is brought to you by Aura Frames. You know when you give someone something and they just light up because they love it? That's a great feeling. Well, this Mother's Day, you can make that happen and be crowned best gift ever in your family with an aura digital picture frame and to really seal a deal, you can give it to mom pre loaded with all her favorite family pictures. I love thoughtful gifts like that, you know.

[Omar]

Yeah, man. I think my mom, I actually, I'm like, damn, I gotta send something back for Mother's day.

[Matt]

True.

[Omar]

When the is it this Sunday? Oh yeah. I might send a priest.

[Matt]

Get nothing before Christmas.

[Omar]

I'm sending a priest to bless house.

[Matt]

That's a good move.

[Omar]

That'd be cool.

[Matt]

Well, it's not as good as an A frame, Matt.

[Omar]

No. Well, he could have. They can take pictures of the priest, of the priest, just like sternly staring.

[Matt]

At the family or Frames has a lots of cool features. It's easy to see why it was named best digital photo frame by wire cutter. There's unlimited storage, so you can add as many photos, videos and funny memes as you can find. Wouldn't it be nice to send your father and mother a meme?

[Omar]

That'd be nice.

[Matt]

You could trick them. And setting everything up is ridiculously simple. You can literally just plug it in and share away. Plus, Aura has a great deal from Mother's Day. For a limited time, listeners can save on the perfect gift by visiting our frames.com to get 35 off +free shipping on their best selling carver mat frame. That's a U R A frames.com promo code MSSP support the show by mentioning us at checkout. Terms and conditions apply. Now let's get back to the show. What do you say?

[Omar]

Let's do it. Yeah, that's. I saw a cool priest in San Francisco. I went down to Haight Ashbury, whatever it's called, like the big hippie area. And there was a cool priest and Doc Martens walking around like there was like the like laying on the ground hippies on like the corner. And he was like chopping it up with them. They were fighting. They literally we were there for maybe an hour just walking around and like within that hour they all spazzed and freaked out at each other. He's not cool, man. You think you man. They started freaking out on each other. I was like, dang it. This is what hippies always do. They always spaz on each other. They were like jamming on acoustic guitars. It was sick.

[Matt]

And I've been big into hippies lately. Really watching a lot of Vietnam. Oh yeah, yeah, yeah. I'm back. I'm reading a Vietnam book. Watching Vietnam documentaries. That's tight. You know what pisses me off about Vietnam documentaries? Well, they always cover. They always. Ken Burns did it. Now this Netflix one does it. Where they interview North North Vietnamese, like, civilians. That. And they always cover American atrocities. I've never seen one where they focus on what the Viet Cong were doing to people.

[Omar]

Yeah. What do they do? What they torture.

[Matt]

Terrific. Yeah. They're kidnapped and murdered, like, everyone. Dang priests. They're butt priests.

[Omar]

Oh, yeah. Was. That's. I think Titch. Not Hong or that guy who wrote all those books. He, like, escaped from there. He said it was, like, pretty bad.

[Matt]

Bad, yeah.

[Omar]

Damn.

[Matt]

It was bad. I mean, the only thing they ever really cover is, like, John McCain and this one pilot, I think his name was Alvarez, he got shot down, like, day one. And stayed in prison the entire war.

[Omar]

Damn.

[Matt]

Yeah. That's a tough time.

[Omar]

Yeah, I do. From what I've heard, they didn't treat the prisoners day one.

[Matt]

Yeah. How long is this war gonna be like, man? It should be a couple days. It's a decade, isn't it? It's. It's gonna be a decade.

[Omar]

He made. Did he. He made it out of there.

[Matt]

Yeah.

[Omar]

Holy.

[Matt]

Yeah, he's a freak.

[Omar]

Bull. Yeah. Ten years.

[Matt]

Freak bowl.

[Omar]

Ten years. Not even like, a shitty hostel either. You're in. Yeah. Vietnamese.

[Matt]

I could be wrong. He. He might be the one. One of the bros was getting interviewed because they. They always do. They. The Vietnamese. The North Vietnamese would film the prisoners to be like, tell them we're treating you good.

[Omar]

That's.

[Matt]

And the one guy did Morse code with his eyes to be like, they're torturing us. It's pretty sad.

[Omar]

Oh, dang.

[Matt]

Yeah.

[Omar]

And then even notice he was doing it.

[Matt]

No.

[Omar]

What a genius, too.

[Matt]

Yeah. It's crazy. Yeah. I Up.

[Omar]

It'd be funny if you just did. Like, I'm doing nothing but a lot of gay stuff here.

[Matt]

But then you're like, I got that thing way wrong.

[Omar]

He's doing a lot of gay stuff. Yeah, that. That would suck. Especially if you're there for 10 years. Like, I mean, you know, you're like. Unless you're doing, like, a legendary sr. You're going to One Point Break and you start. You're, like, cranking them out in, like, an undergr Vietnamese bunker.

[Matt]

Yeah. You're cranking them out.

[Omar]

Cranking them out Would be crazy. Getting caught, too.

[Matt]

Come in here. You guys going to rip my fingernails off again? I'm trying to jack off.

[Omar]

You're like an underground.

[Matt]

Told you everything. I was here day one. I don't know what's happening. I got no more information. I have no idea what year it is. I got nothing to tell you.

[Omar]

Dang, dude. He just probably moved back to, like, some Midwest town and just settled back down and chilled.

[Matt]

Yeah. Probably kept that one to himself for a while.

[Omar]

Yeah.

[Matt]

Were you in Vietnam? No.

[Omar]

Yeah. Or you just be, like, not really.

[Matt]

Sort of, kind of. Yeah.

[Omar]

Dang, That's. That stinks. It is sick. Surviving a plane crash is like, I always hope. I'm like, there's got to be a way.

[Matt]

Yeah. You got shot down. I think he ejected over water, landed in water. A bunch of guys on a fishing boat came out with guns.

[Omar]

Damn, that stinks. That stinks. It would be cool, though. Once another guy shows up, you're like, thank God.

[Matt]

Yeah.

[Omar]

Having.

[Matt]

You mean another guy that got captured.

[Omar]

Yeah, he was the first guy. He was by himself for a minute, just sitting there like, this is so boring.

[Matt]

Yeah. Another guy shows up like, yo, yo. It's not that bad.

[Omar]

Hey, my name is Joe Manitoba from New Jersey.

[Matt]

Hey, I'm Joe Tobin. Joe Tobin from Newark.

[Omar]

Joe Tobin from Newark.

[Matt]

That's crazy, dude. New York.

[Omar]

Newark is crazy.

[Matt]

Yeah.

[Omar]

It's tough when you were in New York. I, like, got. I had, like, almost ran out of gas. Were you with me that one time in the car? I think it might have been Gardini. We got stuck in Newark, and I almost ran out of gas, and we. I was like. I was like, there's got to be a gas station. My GPS took me to a fake one, and I ended up, like, deep in a refinery that, like, I couldn't get out. It was. Oh, it was terrible. Like, you can't find people in those places. It was just industrial. Terrible. I was so scared.

[Matt]

You were spooked.

[Omar]

Yeah, because I was like, if I got summer.

[Matt]

Reasons are scary.

[Omar]

Yeah. I was like, I'm gonna have to, like, walk. I'm gonna have to, like, get buzzed into, like, a barbed wired fence and explain to, like, all the dudes of the refinery, I ran out of gas like a housewife. Just be like, guys, you know what.

[Matt]

Happens next, dude, you get in the oil rig, you're getting deep drilled.

[Omar]

They would take. They would give me something big and thick, dude.

[Matt]

Deep Horizon. Yeah, that's. But, yeah, the Vietnam thing. I don't know. America loves hating itself.

[Omar]

Yeah.

[Matt]

Every one of these, Doc. I mean, don't get me wrong. We should definitely be like, what the. Was Vietnam. We should have never been there. That sucks.

[Omar]

Yeah, for sure.

[Matt]

But, you know, let's not act like we were just over there, up. The nicest guys on Earth. Yeah, they're pretty bad.

[Omar]

Yeah. When you put the magnifying glass on anyone. You're like, oh, Jesus Christ. Yes. Turns out these guys are up to bad stuff too. And you never know. Here's the thing. You never know. It's like, say America didn't totally rise to power. If you give. If I, like, think of any other country right now, if they rose to the level of American power, like, how bad?

[Matt]

The Soviets won the Cold War.

[Omar]

Yeah, dude, Soviets, That's China. China rose to absolute power. You think for a man would love it.

[Matt]

He wants it, he begs for it. Do you know any of those, like, intellectual, like, socialist type guys?

[Omar]

No.

[Matt]

They love China. They're like, china's gonna beat our ass, dude. China's so.

[Omar]

Ew. They're just like, subbed out. They're like.

[Matt]

They subbed out. They sub out so hard for China.

[Omar]

It. That's so weird.

[Matt]

Me and Nate were talking about. Because we were arguing about the. Not arguing again. Having a nice. Having a nice racial discussion about the algorithm. But it's like, dude, if. If something happens, like India, Pakistan, let's say somehow that pops off and the world goes to war.

[Omar]

Yeah.

[Matt]

Americans, we. We've. You know how, like, we've spent the last. Definitely the last, like, 15 years really trying to suppress, like, the racism and hatred in this country? Obviously fueling it. But.

[Omar]

Yeah, true.

[Matt]

Like, making a real concerted from it. Dude, the second we flip that switch to World War iii, it's going to be like, let it fly, dude. Let the hatred.

[Omar]

Oh, yeah.

[Matt]

Now we have a combined. We have a enemy. Yeah, go nuts, dude, Dr. Seuss is going to be drawing up some racial cartoons for us. Like, dude, America can flip that switch. And I don't think. I don't think people know how rotten America can be.

[Omar]

Yeah, because then the floodgates will break and they'll just be. Be like, racist caricatures of, like, black people for no reason. Hey, what the hell?

[Matt]

Hey, hold on a second. I just got ready up. It's World War 3, dude. We don't have time for this.

[Omar]

Yeah, that's gonna be if we get like a. Because the last time we got, like, a national hate vibe going was 911.

[Matt]

911.

[Omar]

Yeah, it was on.

[Matt]

Now that. And that was not even on. Yeah, think if it was really on. Like, think if there was an actual enemy.

[Omar]

Oh, yeah. Exit. Real threat, that. Yeah, but aren't it. Wait, who's part of the bricks? Who's part of the bricks thing? Because is India part of the bricks?

[Matt]

No, they're with us.

[Omar]

Who's the name.

[Matt]

Maybe they are bricks, but they're. They're our. They're our bros. Yeah. Where was India?

[Omar]

Okay. Because I know the bricks.

[Matt]

Brazil. Russia. I thought, are you sure it's not Iran? It's.

[Omar]

Oh, it is in India. Yeah. India is our.

[Matt]

Is X. Indonesia.

[Omar]

No, it.

[Matt]

Dude, I think China stands with India right now.

[Omar]

Do they?

[Matt]

Yeah, we would, too.

[Omar]

Yeah.

[Matt]

I think India's. India is our bros. Yeah. Pakistan's going full Muslim crazy on them.

[Omar]

Going Muslim, kill everybody. I mean, how does Pakistan even figure they can attack India? That's not even close. India is going to destroy.

[Matt]

You got to give Muslim countries credit. They punch above their weight class every day. They go, one. The is you. What are you looking at? Back in Palestine. Went dumb on them, dude.

[Omar]

Palestine, they really are crazy.

[Matt]

Was like, what the are you going to do, dude?

[Omar]

Yeah, dude. They for real went nuts on the Fortnite attack.

[Matt]

Hit them. They hit the Fortnite. They said, what are you gonna do about it?

[Omar]

Yeah. And Israel's like, we're gonna redo the maps here. We're redoing the game.

[Matt]

We just deleted the game. Fortnite's done.

[Omar]

You are? Yeah. Pakistan. Who is gassing Pakistan? I was like, no, no, dude, dude, dude, dude, You. That's because they said I was dying. Pakistan.

[Matt]

Pakistan's day one that you taught that. And they got nukes. They both have nukes. So both of them are going, dude, we can do it right now.

[Omar]

I don't know why. I feel like Pakistan gets their nukes from where, like, the coyote gets them from Acme nukes.

[Matt]

The North Korean rockets. That was the best. Kim Jong will go up there and be like, everyone, check this out. Explodes.

[Omar]

The North Korean World Fair has got to be awesome. They just show, like, food. They're like, yo, we got.

[Matt]

Some food's coming.

[Omar]

Some food.

[Matt]

2040, the land of the future. There's gonna be grub.

[Omar]

Would you ever hear the dudes who escape and go to South Korea and are just like. Like, literally, Blade Runner? They're just living.

[Matt]

It's like the village. You leave, you go. There's trucks.

[Omar]

Living in the future. Just be like, what the.

[Matt]

Yeah, I just.

[Omar]

I just read a nice book this weekend on the plane. I found it in a bookstore. Just. It was just, like, a lady who. I guess, like, in the 70s, something up happened in Korea, in South Korea, where a guy just declared himself lifelong president. He just smashed.

[Matt]

Where was it?

[Omar]

Korea, I think it was. Or maybe it was, like, right before the war that divided south and North Korea. Was that in the 70s, I think.

[Matt]

No, that was 50s.

[Omar]

The Korean War. Yeah. So the Korean War split in half. And I think in like, the next 20 years, there's a little bit of obviously, some tumult.

[Matt]

Yeah.

[Omar]

And. And this guy was just like, I'm the president forever. And it just set off as, like, horrible wave of violence and poverty. And then the lady got adopted to an American family and just, like, got out of there. And like, they. The Korean government allowed parents to just be like, yo, if your kids like too much, just. We're shipping a bunch of kids to America. So I think that was like a huge wave of. Yeah, they were just like. And you would just. They would declare you as an orphan.

[Matt]

Your parents would be like, good Korean adopted kids. They rock.

[Omar]

Yep. And no, there was nothing like, you. Your paperwork. You'd hit America and, like, you would have blank birth certificate. You had no. You couldn't find your parents ever. And this lady just wrote like a. Just. It was like a book of, like, kind of like poetry and essays just about, like, getting beached in America. It wasn't even really about that. She was just writing about, like, the Big Bang. It's pretty sick, actually.

[Matt]

She's just writing about the Big Bang.

[Omar]

The Big Bang.

[Matt]

Was that her dad's name? That's Big Bang. That's Little Bang.

[Omar]

Dude.

[Matt]

Dumb racist jokes. It's a good dad racist joke.

[Omar]

Big Bang. It's so funny.

[Matt]

We're firing today. Dude, this feels like a Patreon.

[Omar]

The temperature is cooking on this.

[Matt]

Yeah, I'm heating up a little.

[Omar]

Feels like a picture. Picture.

[Matt]

Big Bang was too good to pull back on. Pull up. Pull up. Terrain.

[Omar]

Terrain. Straight for the mountains. Hot diggity darn.

[Matt]

No guys are allowed to have fun. Dude.

[Omar]

Dude, you know, I actually, I. Dude, I did the mothership last night. Had a good time, but afterwards I got off and just smoked like, a giant joint in the green room and then went home. Like, I'll pass. Out.

[Matt]

Out.

[Omar]

No dice at all.

[Matt]

I'm wide awake.

[Omar]

I. I was just laying there. I had. Dude, I. I don't know. I had this idea where, like, I want to come up with a. A company or some sort of technology that, like, you. You could send your dad a painting. And the painting already it comes. We'll get this. So it comes, like, wrapped in cellophane. Because what happens is it has some sort of, like, technology. When, like, when, like, like the moisture in the air hits it, it slowly transforms the photo. So your dad hangs it on the wall. He's so pumped on it. And, like, slowly little. It'll be like a general, like, standing. Like a battle scene. And then, like, the general, day after day, slowly transforms into a giant, throbbing, veiny dick that's just, like, just laying waste. Or just like. Or instead of a battle scene, it turns into just, like, guys having sex and you're dead. Dad just walked into his house one day. He's like, what the. Damn it.

[Matt]

Yeah.

[Omar]

The technology's got to exist.

[Matt]

That reminds me to send a. I haven't sent a picture of a hot guy's ass to my dad in a while. If you just Google guy's naked ass.

[Omar]

I remember this.

[Matt]

Send it right to your dad. He's gonna love it. And you can put the invisible ink on it now. Exactly. Yeah. They get very.

[Omar]

And it just slowly checked. Day by day, they don't even know notice until one day they're like, what the.

[Matt]

Yeah. Or you could get like a. Almost like. You know how when you're looking at porn, there's like, those. Simpson.

[Omar]

Yeah.

[Matt]

Like Family Guy. You could do one of those with Nancy Pelosi. Donald Trump in the ass.

[Omar]

Oh, dude, that would be it.

[Matt]

Explode.

[Omar]

That'd be India versus Pakistan. Dude. They would spaz.

[Matt]

I will talk about.

[Omar]

Especially if your dad's, like, a mechanic. He's got, like, hanging up on his wall, and he's like, you know, the calipers. And the guy is like, what the is that? God damn it.

[Matt]

Some punk must have done that. God damn it, Punk. That's a great idea.

[Omar]

Wouldn't that be fun?

[Matt]

I mean, that's aura frames.

[Omar]

Aura.

[Matt]

You could.

[Omar]

Yeah.

[Matt]

If you can stack the deck frame, toss one in.

[Omar]

Yeah, you could. That would be. Digitally would be the easiest. Like, day by day, like, pixel by pixel. It transforms that way. You're like, no, it's just like, a cool photo, electronic photo. Her. It was great. Or it's just. That would be nice if you could do this easily where it's like, a nice picture of you and your dad. Then you do an AI slow mo transfer where it's just you guys making out. Dude, my dad would.

[Matt]

Yeah, my dad would.

[Omar]

He might fall. My dad might fall over.

[Matt]

Yeah, that'd be bad if it was.

[Omar]

Just one of those, like, gifts.

[Matt]

Tony Soprano looking at the Uncle Ben. Yeah, that's. That's a great idea.

[Omar]

That was keeping me up last night. I'm like, that would be so funny. And then. And then I came up with an idea for immigration we could do where you could sponsor so. Because it was like, Adults. It's a hard. It's hard for adults to get in this country. But I was thinking about that lady getting adopted. And like, that's the move. Like, babies have the ultimate rights. Like, babies, boom, instant citizenship if you can adopt. So what I want to do is set up an adoption program where you adopt like a child from, like El Salvador. But then the deal is the child's whole family comes, like whole extent. Like, like mom, dad, uncles, aunts, all the kids come. So as part of the deal is you can adopt the kid, but you can sponsor a whole El Salvadorian family. But you have to have the means. But then it becomes like a vassal thing where they become your vassals in a cool way. Hold on. Hear the whole idea out. So they come, you set them up. They have citizenship. They have total citizenship. Citizenship. It's more of a dentured servitude. They have. They have citizenship. They can rock, they can do their thing. They're free citizens.

[Matt]

But you have to be the producer on this podcast. They have to sell merch after shows.

[Omar]

But no, you get to tax them. So you grant citizenship. You pay what it is you grant. You. You. Now you have like, imagine that, dude, you have like a casita and you have your vassals. They're free to work, do their thing. They can build their own empire. And what the ultimate showdown is the adopted kid as soon as he turns 18, if he outperforms your own bio kid, the whole empire goes to the El Salvadorian kingdom and your kid has to fight back. Then he becomes that vassal for the El Salvadorian family. If he out produces their offspring, it goes back and forth. It's like a kind of. Like a kingdom kind of tight.

[Matt]

Yeah. I mean, I don't know what to tell you. There's a lot of holes. I don't know where to start with this one.

[Omar]

That's why I couldn't sleep last night. So I know it sounds slavery for.

[Matt]

A generation and then you switch.

[Omar]

Not slavery. They're. Dude, they're free market players. They're just getting taxed. They got. They're your subjects, but they are free market players.

[Matt]

It's feudalism.

[Omar]

It's feudalism. Yeah, like modern feudalism, but with the opportunity. They would light a fire under your kid's ass.

[Matt]

You'd be like, bro, I don't know. I feel like every kid would get. Every feudal kid would be like, yeah, yeah, tell them to sell the marriage.

[Omar]

Yeah. But they couldn't if they did that.

[Matt]

Papa, they're not selling the marriage.

[Omar]

They Gave me nothing to talk about on my podcast, Papa. I don't know. It was just an idea. We don't have to do it.

[Matt]

No, you know, we don't. We shouldn't. But it's not a bad plan.

[Omar]

It's fair to be like, bro, I'm gonna foot the bill. You guys are total citizens. But I'm gonna tax you. You have to pay tax on. Tax My tax for one generation. I'm going to tax you. It's like a pyramid scheme with immigration.

[Matt]

Yeah. Wouldn't be bad how the pyramids were built.

[Omar]

True.

[Matt]

Literally. You're reverting back to ancient ideas. I own this family.

[Omar]

Yeah, you wouldn't own them. You'd be sponsoring them and taxing them.

[Matt]

I'm sure what the guy said back then. No, hold on.

[Omar]

It's not.

[Matt]

You're making it sound worse than it is true. House. They live in a house I built.

[Omar]

You'd be excited for the wedding. You're like, oh, wedding, huh? Let me go by and see what's going on here.

[Matt]

As lord, technically, it's optimum. How was Optimum Noxus last night?

[Omar]

Sick.

[Matt]

It was a good one. You went and did it.

[Omar]

Yeah.

[Matt]

Yeah. The crowd was. They were happy. They were excited to be there. It was. It was a good one.

[Omar]

Yeah.

[Matt]

Yeah, I was happy with that. Yeah. No gardening. We were missing Gardini. Well, yeah, we. We had. We had Andy be fat Gardini. We just brought him up on his Gardini. It's like. We were like, Gardini's. He's sad right now. He had a rough whole month. Put on some pounds. We're gonna bring him.

[Omar]

He was probably back there being like, what the.

[Matt]

Yeah, we didn't. Back there like, you, too.

[Omar]

You walked off.

[Matt]

Yeah. We didn't tell him before we did it. We're just like. Just stay here. We'll bring you up as, like, a special guest. Oh, you told him? I told him yesterday. Okay.

[Omar]

That you're gonna bring him as fat gardening. How did he do his fat gardening?

[Matt]

He did great. Did he do a gardening imitation or he's a Gardini impression is also what I probably should have said. He just said, I'm Gardini. He was like, I'm Sean Gardini. And it worked. Oh, so now. Short answer.

[Omar]

Yeah, I short circuited. I had a line last night. I forget what it was, but I, like, just botched it, retried it, rebotched it, and then finally just waved the white flag and was like, guys, we're skipping that one completely.

[Matt]

Joke's done.

[Omar]

Yeah. Jokes out, right? It would have been good, but I ruined it. But, yeah, I had a. I had an ambitious night. Stand up wise. I got done and I just smoked a giant joint and I was like, oh. I said I would do Optim Noctis and I just ran over there. It was just like, yeah. What's up, guys?

[Matt]

Yeah, it's always fun.

[Omar]

Yeah.

[Matt]

I did that for a few years in New York. Yeah. Oh, I have four more spots. Oh, I'm hammered.

[Omar]

Oh, crap. I didn't think about this. Yeah, that was fun. I tried some new stuff.

[Matt]

Albany was nuts.

[Omar]

What was up with all.

[Matt]

I did Albany and Buffalo this weekend. The crowds were.

[Omar]

Oh, yeah.

[Matt]

They were crazy people.

[Omar]

Yeah.

[Matt]

Buffalo is always great. I've never done Albany. They were. I did the Albany funny bone, but okay, this was. They were. They were going crazy.

[Omar]

Yeah, Buffalo is wild. I don't know much about all.

[Matt]

At the end of my show when I was like, thank you guys very much. I saw a guy running down an aisle, like, to the crowd, like, yeah, let's go. They were going crazy.

[Omar]

Yeah, dude, that's. That's Bill's mafia.

[Matt]

Found out they lost the River Rats, their AHL team.

[Omar]

No.

[Matt]

I was like, you guys need to bring back the River Rats. And the whole place was like.

[Omar]

The fact that you know about Buffalo minor league hockey, truly impressive.

[Matt]

The. Well, then I hit him with. They. I was like. I was a Hershey Bears fan. They all started booing the Hershey Bears. I was like, Bro, 12 Calder Cups going for our 13th. You guys don't even have a team right now. We're literally in the playoffs right now.

[Omar]

I'm trying to help you guys, trying.

[Matt]

To be nice to you guys. But don't compare the River Rats to the Hershey Bears ever. You talking Yankees Expos, dude? You don't even have a team.

[Omar]

The Bears. I think I've seen. I've seen Hershey Bears before.

[Matt]

To the Phantoms.

[Omar]

Yeah. No, you know what?

[Matt]

I own the Phantoms.

[Omar]

I could see him crushing the Phantoms. The fights in minor league hockey are awesome. Fight non stop.

[Matt]

Although Bears Phantoms is going on right now.

[Omar]

Really?

[Matt]

I gotta check that.

[Omar]

Dang. I didn't know those Phantoms were just completely crushed by the Bears. I mean, that is like our candidate.

[Matt]

Oh, actually it was one nothing when I made that claim. It's now two one Phantoms. Yeah.

[Omar]

Let's go. I've been following the fans. We've made a lot of changes in the Phantoms program.

[Matt]

They still haven't changed the logo. They like that logo.

[Omar]

What's. What do the Phantoms have? Just like a weird, weird. Looks like the Phoenix Suns kind of color scheme from what I remember.

[Matt]

It's like two different flyers. Symbols combined.

[Omar]

Yeah, it's like the pizza game.

[Matt]

Each other.

[Omar]

It's a pizza game.

[Matt]

It is pizza.

[Omar]

Cake's not.

[Matt]

Bears need to get a cup.

[Omar]

What's the cup called? The Alder Cup.

[Matt]

The Calder.

[Omar]

The Calder Cup. Dang. The Bears have how many Calder Cups?

[Matt]

Thirteen.

[Omar]

Damn.

[Matt]

Who has the most Calder Cups? AI Overview. The Hershey Bears. Yo. Thirteen Calder Cups.

[Omar]

Holy dang.

[Matt]

It's a storied program. Hershey piette. Come on, man.

[Omar]

That's awesome. I didn't know that. I think the Phantoms were late to the party, too.

[Matt]

Yeah, the fan was really.

[Omar]

They split off.

[Matt]

Hershey Bears have been playing since the 20s.

[Omar]

That's cool.

[Matt]

What's going on over there? Also, erase his meme. Let me hear about it.

[Omar]

Yeah, true.

[Matt]

Come on, guys.

[Omar]

Also, minor league. Nobody hits their wife more than minor league sports players in, like, back in the day.

[Matt]

That's a fair assessment.

[Omar]

I feel like they led. I feel like they really. Yeah, that was. That was.

[Matt]

It's like a minor league baseball.

[Omar]

Yeah. You're physically. You're like on the cusp of the major leagues. You're, you know, a well tuned athlete.

[Matt]

Oh, you sent it to me, fellas. You guys are putting me in. You put me in the jackpot.

[Omar]

Let me glance at it.

[Matt]

It's just. It's a play on protesting the Vietnam War. And. Yeah, it's people saying, no Pakistani ever called my grandparents pretending to be Microsoft.

[Omar]

Do you think the. That where you.

[Matt]

You got a video of the. The. The crash? What? I didn't know. You should have told me you sent that. The pedal P crash.

[Omar]

Oh.

[Matt]

It'S a good pedal.

[Omar]

Pub crash. Oh, no. Oh, sucks to be on the left.

[Matt]

Einstein Brothers bagels.

[Omar]

Oh, no. It went on the one side, too.

[Matt]

Oh, we got a dui.

[Omar]

Oh, no.

[Matt]

Damn.

[Omar]

Yeah. I'm telling you, man, I was on one once and I'm like, these things gotta get up every now and again because it's not. There's not like a. It's just a guy, like, ripping and running. It's like, you know the dudes who have bicycles with, like a card on the back? It's like those guys getting their CDL and being. All right, I'm gonna flip.

[Matt]

Yeah.

[Omar]

I'm just gonna step up, drive a bigger craft. Some of those. Some of those dudes on the. Those, like, little pedal bikes.

[Matt]

Yeah.

[Omar]

Drive like maniacs.

[Matt]

Yeah, they do.

[Omar]

A couple times, they're like, bro.

[Matt]

Swerving between cars, and I'm like, dude, slow down.

[Omar]

I. I don't. I'm cool. I don't need to be at this place that fast, actually. You drive.

[Matt]

Me? Yeah. I could have got on an Uber if I was trying.

[Omar]

Yeah.

[Matt]

This is. This is a fun trip.

[Omar]

Yeah, bro.

[Matt]

Chill.

[Omar]

Chill. The. I was one with my kids. Kids, and they were. I was like, bro. I was like, no, no extra points for me from the speed. Like, slow it down. I appreciate, you know, you working on this this hard, but, like, relax, because they'll, like, tailgate cut in. You're like, yo, dude. Yeah, don't need this. And, like. Like, they'll drive. Like, people will be there, and they'll speed at them. Like, they better move. Yeah. Terrible.

[Matt]

All right, well, we're in an hour. Let's ditch over to the Patreon. Let's do it.

[Omar]

It. Bye. Oh, I got a pee.