Ep 563 - No Nut Clarity (feat. Chris O'Connor & Dave Temple)

Summary

Matt and Shane's Secret Podcast
Episode 563 - No Nut Clarity (feat. Chris O'Connor & Dave Temple)
Release Date: June 12, 2025

Hosts: Matt McCusker & Shane Gillis
Guests: Dave Temple & Chris O'Connor

---

1. Introduction and Guest Welcome (00:00 - 00:14)

Matt and Shane kick off the episode with their signature humor, welcoming comedians Dave Temple and Chris O'Connor to discuss a range of topics centered around relationships, personal habits, and societal observations.

• Shane Gillis: “Hey, welcome to Matt and Shane Secret podcast here today with comedian Dave Temple and Chris O'Connor.” (00:01)

2. OnlyFans and Sex Work (00:14 - 01:44)

The conversation begins with a humorous take on Shane’s OnlyFans content, where he modestly reveals only his butthole. The hosts delve into the phenomenon of male sex work, exploring the motivations and curiosities surrounding it.

• Shane Gillis: “I come here and I just masturbate for gay men.” (00:14)
• Matt McCusker: “Onlyfans is popping.” (00:31)

3. Anal Bleaching and Body Image (01:47 - 04:12)

The discussion shifts to body image, specifically the rarely addressed topic of anal bleaching. The hosts joke about the absurdity and origins of this trend, questioning who actually initiated it.

• Matt McCusker: “I used to do a joke about this about like, how did they come up with the concept of anal bleaching?” (01:53)
• Shane Gillis: “She bleach the hairs or the hole itself?” (02:08)

4. Immigrants and ICE Agents at Graduations (10:38 - 14:23)

Navigating into more controversial territory, Matt and Shane discuss ICE agents attending graduation ceremonies to identify immigrants. They wrestle with the reality versus the myths portrayed online, reflecting on personal experiences and societal impacts.

• Shane Gillis: “They heard them at graduation.” (11:16)
• Dave Temple: “What happens to me is I'll like bend down...she's looking right at my.” (02:32)

5. Language, Culture, and Stereotypes (14:23 - 22:52)

The hosts explore the complexities of the Spanish language, its regional variations, and the cultural stereotypes associated with different Hispanic communities. They discuss the Indo-European language roots and humorously critique language learning apps.

• Shane Gillis: “Every other person alive today speaks some form of Indo European, like, languages.” (18:38)
• Matt McCusker: “I'm learning Spanish now...they're teaching me such an old Spaniard version of Spanish.” (20:12)

6. Soft Girl Lifestyle and Pop Culture (29:58 - 34:00)

Shane introduces the concept of the "soft girl" lifestyle, attributing its origins to Nigerian women facing economic challenges. The hosts critique the appropriation of this trend by white women and discuss its portrayal in media.

• Shane Gillis: “It's all about just like focusing on pampering yourself, letting go of like your drive for success and just going full self care.” (29:58)
• Matt McCusker: “I'm starting to get that way now. That's what this long hair is about.” (30:00)

7. Mob Stereotypes and Italian-American Jokes (34:00 - 43:55)

The conversation takes a turn towards Italian-American stereotypes and mob-related humor. The hosts share anecdotes about familial ties to mob activities, joke about intergroup rivalries, and reference pop culture portrayals like "The Sopranos."

• Shane Gillis: “They own, like, floor shops and stuff. They were kind of sick.” (39:07)
• Matt McCusker: “It's your. Your eyes shifting around.” (17:45)

8. Therapy, Mental Health, and Relationships (43:56 - 55:00)

Matt and Shane tackle the sensitive topics of mental health and relationships. They discuss societal stigmas around men seeking therapy, personal struggles with maintaining intimacy, and the concept of "No Nut Clarity"—a play on self-control and sexual restraint.

• Shane Gillis: “Our listeners get 10% off their first [e-mail] MSSP that's BetterHelp.” (15:33)
• Matt McCusker: “I lost my virginity at 14... I can't afford her. Are you crazy?” (60:16)

9. Sex in Marriage and Self-Control Talk (55:00 - 74:43)

The hosts delve deeper into the dynamics of marital relationships, discussing strategies to maintain intimacy, manage expectations, and navigate personal desires. They humorously lament the challenges of dating within a marriage and the societal pressures surrounding sex.

• Matt McCusker: “I'm starting to get that way now... taking care of myself.” (30:00)
• Shane Gillis: “If you're not trying to have sex, there's really no point of going out.” (61:39)
• Shane Gillis: “I'm telling you, I think every time you pop off on the algorithm, you can make hundreds of thousands of dollars.” (42:35)

10. Dream Experiences and Personal Anecdotes (74:43 - 77:58)

In the latter part of the episode, Matt, Shane, and Dave share personal experiences related to dreaming, particularly vivid or recurring dreams. They discuss how lifestyle changes, such as reducing substance intake, have impacted their dreams, blending humor with personal reflection.

• Dave Temple: “I went through a run of that. I want to... had every dream.” (75:37)
• Shane Gillis: “I have never seen my dick in a dream.” (74:43)

11. Sports Betting Segment (55:00 - 60:16)

A special segment introduces Prize Picks, a sports betting app. The hosts share their predictions for the NBA and Stanley Cup finals, engaging in playful banter about their picks and the nature of sports betting.

• Shane Gillis: “What team in the NBA Finals do you care more or could care less about Pacers?” (56:58)
• Dave Temple: “Thunder's going to win.” (57:04)

12. Advertising Breaks

Throughout the episode, scripted advertisements for products like Dude Wipes, BetterHelp, and Prize Picks are seamlessly integrated into the conversation, maintaining the comedic and informal tone of the podcast.

• Chris O'Connor: “This episode of Matt and Shane's secret podcast is brought to you by Dude Wipes...” (11:16)
• Shane Gillis: “But no, I was in... you were in the Yucatan... It was sick.” (16:30)

13. Closing Remarks and Outro (77:58 - End)

As the episode nears its end, the hosts continue their lighthearted and candid exchange, reflecting on personal growth, relationships, and future plans. They wrap up with a humorous note, maintaining their trademark irreverent style.

• Shane Gillis: “It's the word. You're sitting at the bar because you didn't make a reservation in time.” (69:24)
• Matt McCusker: “I live in a state of total poetry post nut clarities.” (73:57)

---

Notable Quotes:

• Shane Gillis (00:14): “I come here and I just masturbate for gay men.”
• Matt McCusker (01:53): “I used to do a joke about this about like, how did they come up with the concept of anal bleaching?”
• Shane Gillis (18:38): “Every other person alive today speaks some form of Indo European, like, languages.”
• Shane Gillis (29:58): “It's all about just like focusing on pampering yourself, letting go of like your drive for success and just going full self care.”
• Matt McCusker (60:16): “I lost my virginity at 14... I can't afford her. Are you crazy?”
• Matt McCusker (73:57): “I live in a state of total poetry post nut clarities.”

---

Conclusion:

Episode 563 of Matt and Shane's Secret Podcast offers a blend of sharp humor, candid discussions, and irreverent takes on a variety of topics ranging from personal relationships and self-control to cultural stereotypes and pop culture insights. With guests like Dave Temple and Chris O'Connor, the episode maintains an engaging and conversational flow, punctuated by memorable quotes and humorous banter. Whether you're a long-time listener or new to the show, this episode provides a humorous yet thought-provoking exploration of the complexities of modern life and relationships.

Transcript

[Matt McCusker]

The wild, wild west.

[Shane Gillis]

Hey, welcome to Matt and Shane Secret podcast here today with comedian Dave Temple and Chris o' Connor.

[Dave Temple]

Nice.

[Shane Gillis]

Thanks for coming, guys.

[Dave Temple]

This is the first time in this setup.

[Shane Gillis]

Never been in my. I've done stuff in my like office. Office.

[Dave Temple]

Yeah.

[Shane Gillis]

I don't think it was well received, but, yeah, first time revealing my office. Apartment. Yeah. Apartment, office. A little bop house, A little content house. That's what I really do. I come here and I just masturbate for gay men.

[Matt McCusker]

Right, Right.

[Shane Gillis]

Yeah.

[Matt McCusker]

Onlyfans is popping.

[Shane Gillis]

Yeah.

[Dave Temple]

Huge.

[Shane Gillis]

But I just show my butthole.

[Matt McCusker]

You know, dudes who get into that are fascinating, like guy sex workers. Because I don't know, I don't know how you get into faking sex as a man. Like, I get it for ladies.

[Shane Gillis]

I don't think you do. I think you just fucking come and you're like.

[Matt McCusker]

I meant that it's all.

[Shane Gillis]

About just getting paid.

[Dave Temple]

I actually, I saw one of those things where, you know, they take like a super high res picture of like your eye and make it like art.

[Shane Gillis]

Yeah, Yeah.

[Dave Temple]

I want to do that for my butthole.

[Shane Gillis]

That's kind of cool. So people like come stand in front of it and be like.

[Dave Temple]

Yeah, it's so close up and so detailed.

[Shane Gillis]

Yeah, yeah.

[Dave Temple]

They kind of don't know what it is.

[Shane Gillis]

Is that a nautilus show? In a way, yes.

[Matt McCusker]

Just a bunch of capillaries and veins. Like, is this the Grand Canyon?

[Shane Gillis]

Giant hemorrhoid.

[Matt McCusker]

It's called Colorado River.

[Shane Gillis]

Right.

[Dave Temple]

Just get that put in like moma. Yeah.

[Shane Gillis]

You could get that picture taken. Just see what you're working with.

[Dave Temple]

Yeah.

[Shane Gillis]

If you got a super close zoom on the new iPhone, you could probably get a good portrait mode. Portrait mode would be nice.

[Matt McCusker]

Have any of you guys actually seen your butthole?

[Shane Gillis]

No.

[Matt McCusker]

Like, I've never taken the time to actually bend over in front of a mirror. Spread your cheeks, I'm pretty sure.

[Shane Gillis]

Wait, into the mirror you're saying?

[Matt McCusker]

Yeah, because I always wonder. I used to do a joke about this about like, how did they come up with the concept of anal bleaching? Yeah, I mean, like, who saw their to be dissatisfied with that?

[Shane Gillis]

Probably a girl. Yeah, that's kind of nuts. It's a girl for sure.

[Matt McCusker]

Absolutely.

[Shane Gillis]

She just saw. She had a disgusting, like hairy. It was like, I gotta. Why not get it wax? Why would you bleach? You bleach the hairs or the hole itself?

[Dave Temple]

No, because your butthole gets stained with poo, I think.

[Matt McCusker]

Yeah. Over time.

[Shane Gillis]

I think mine's gotta be an Absolute abyss.

[Dave Temple]

Yeah.

[Shane Gillis]

Just rings of Saturn.

[Dave Temple]

It darkens up. I haven't checked mine. I don't know if it has.

[Shane Gillis]

I. What happens to me is I'll like bend down. I'll just like. As soon as I'm done, I just get naked. Like in my bedroom, I'm naked and then I'll like go to plug up my phone charger and bend over in front of my wife and it'll just be. I'll feel like the air enter my. And I'll be like. She's looking right at my.

[Matt McCusker]

I thought you meant she runs up and blows in it.

[Dave Temple]

There's no wind.

[Shane Gillis]

That'd be nice.

[Dave Temple]

Yeah. It's her gaze that.

[Shane Gillis]

A little hand fan to see. Yeah, that'd be nice. Yeah. I don't.

[Matt McCusker]

I don't know.

[Dave Temple]

I think I did look at my once cuz like I got a hairy like late in.

[Shane Gillis]

Late in the game.

[Dave Temple]

Yeah. Yeah. You know how like. I don't know, like in college I didn't have like chest hair.

[Shane Gillis]

Yeah.

[Dave Temple]

And now I do.

[Matt McCusker]

Yeah.

[Dave Temple]

You know, I don't know. Yeah. So. And I. I think there was at one point my. I was like, you know, wipe my ass and it was like real hairy and I was like, well, that's weird. And I want to get a look at like what it. What the. You know, what it looked like.

[Matt McCusker]

Yeah.

[Shane Gillis]

Yeah. You probably could sneak there. Yeah.

[Dave Temple]

I didn't know if it was like a, you know, if it was patchy or whether it was like a nice. Just clean.

[Matt McCusker]

It's like I had a good grain to it. It's like even better than your beard. You know what I mean? It's just like, wow.

[Shane Gillis]

Yeah. You want to know if you treat it right, Right. Right.

[Matt McCusker]

So wait, you're saying fecal matter. It really smooths.

[Shane Gillis]

It does.

[Matt McCusker]

It gives it a nice shine.

[Shane Gillis]

Is your actually stained from poo? I don't think it's staying from poop.

[Matt McCusker]

I don't think it's staying from. I think the skin just stretches and stuff like that and kind of like. Yeah, that's what makes it dark.

[Shane Gillis]

I don't know.

[Dave Temple]

It's br. I think it's brown.

[Shane Gillis]

It's not brown. Your asshole's like. I think it's the color of like vagina lips. You know what I mean? There's like color concentration in those things, I think.

[Dave Temple]

But you can't like bleach a vagina, can you?

[Matt McCusker]

Yeah, yeah. Those people will put bleach.

[Shane Gillis]

You can do vagino plasties. That's a New thing women are doing to, like, reduce their. Their. Like to get, like, a certain look on their lips.

[Matt McCusker]

No meat curtains. You're talking about the. Tuck them back in.

[Shane Gillis]

Exactly.

[Matt McCusker]

Yeah. Rejuvenation. Vaginal rejuvenation.

[Shane Gillis]

I'm against it, bro. Are you? Yes. You got to leave those things if you like.

[Matt McCusker]

You like a good ham and cheese sandwich, huh?

[Shane Gillis]

It's also crazy. Nobody cares. It's like, nobody gives a.

[Dave Temple]

There was a girl I dated once that had, like, a flap, you know, like, one side had a flap, and it made it, like, it made entry more difficult.

[Matt McCusker]

Yeah, I know you talk about. It's like that thing that hangs off a side.

[Shane Gillis]

I don't think I'd mind that if I got to, like, larp and be like, God damn. Give me a second, babe. I can't get it. Holy.

[Dave Temple]

Yeah, No, I think on her part, it was more like. Ow.

[Shane Gillis]

Oh, yeah.

[Dave Temple]

Things.

[Shane Gillis]

That's. Dude.

[Matt McCusker]

Yeah.

[Shane Gillis]

That's the worst.

[Dave Temple]

Yeah.

[Shane Gillis]

Once a woman feels comfortable enough to complain during sex.

[Dave Temple]

Yeah. It's a sexual version of biting your lip. Yeah.

[Shane Gillis]

Ow. Catching one of those during sex is not pleasant. Oh, all right, I'm done. I. I can't continue now.

[Dave Temple]

Yeah, yeah.

[Shane Gillis]

Just furious. Like, really? You had to say it like that? All right, sorry. Done this before 100 times. Never had a problem.

[Matt McCusker]

Never.

[Shane Gillis]

What's the problem now? Ow. Dude.

[Dave Temple]

Yeah, that was.

[Shane Gillis]

Yeah, I got. I don't know. I'll get a picture of my. I'll get a picture of my butthole tonight. I'll. I'm tell you. I think.

[Dave Temple]

I think we should get it, though, with the. The. The retina camp, you know, like the high.

[Shane Gillis]

Yes. What lens is the best for that?

[Dave Temple]

Yeah, you want it. You want to be able to blow it up and put it on a billboard. You know what I mean? You want that level of resolution.

[Matt McCusker]

That would be dope to just have it hanging, like, over your couch and just don't say anything to anyone at all as far as.

[Dave Temple]

Because it could look just like a star explode if you made it like a negative image.

[Shane Gillis]

Yeah, that would be cool. And then just have a very clear shot of your penis next to it. Just slowly. Just slowly zoom out little by little throughout your house. When they finally. Like, this is my bedroom. Like, oh, this hasn't been your. The entire time.

[Dave Temple]

Yeah, you'd have to. You'd have to do a little Photoshop. Have it, like. Like, bursting out of, like, a sand or something. So it's like Dune.

[Shane Gillis]

Yeah, true. Dude, I was. I was just in Mexico all weekend. Might be my favorite country right now. Yeah, Mexico. Sick, dude. Really? I'm like, seriously considering. I kept telling my wife the whole time I was like, I'm gonna chug a gallon of water and just fully trans. Just be. Have like a Mexican belly.

[Matt McCusker]

Yeah, yeah.

[Shane Gillis]

I want. I just want to just like. I just want to completely switch over.

[Dave Temple]

To the Mexican belly.

[Shane Gillis]

Yeah, just like, whatever is water. I want that. I'm gonna go through. I'm gonna go through. I'm gonna. For like a month and just. I want to like, keep drinking the water here, get it imported and just have a Mexican belly.

[Dave Temple]

Yeah, dude, I get a Mexican belly every once in a while. Yeah. If I go on like a straight beer bender, you know what I mean? Like, no hard alcohol. Three, four days in, I get a Mexican belly.

[Shane Gillis]

Do you really?

[Dave Temple]

Yeah.

[Shane Gillis]

Get Montezuma's revenge.

[Dave Temple]

Dude.

[Shane Gillis]

It's probably. It' might be my favorite place. I haven't, like, traveled outside the US In a while. It was awesome. Riviera, Maya. So I was in the Yucatan Peninsula, and I didn't know that. I was just like. Because I've been reading about the Mayans just getting absolutely butt by the Spaniards. Just devastated. They, like, devastated themselves beforehand. I didn't know that. Yeah, but I was reading about that. So I, like, knew all the towns. They were like, campage all these towns, and I'm like, I know where that is. This is Yucatan Peninsula. Like, dude, you're in the Yucatan Peninsula. Like, all right, my bad.

[Dave Temple]

Oh, yeah, yeah.

[Shane Gillis]

But, dude, it was. Dude, it was so sick. It was in the jungle, like, at night time. Like, little. Little. They weren't monkeys. They're called, like, cape capers or capuchins something. I don't know what the they were, but they look like raccoons mixed with monkeys. And they would come out at night time and scurry. It was sick.

[Dave Temple]

That's awesome. I hired a bunch of guys in the Yucatan to try to build a healthcare website for the Chinese.

[Shane Gillis]

Are you a Spaniard? Christopher Cortez.

[Dave Temple]

Kidding.

[Shane Gillis]

Hold on, hold on.

[Dave Temple]

I swear to God.

[Shane Gillis]

You hired a bunch of people from the Yucatan to build a Chinese website? Yeah, I like a crazy triangulation.

[Dave Temple]

Yeah, it was. It was like. I don't know, it was early on in Stand up, and I was like, you know, you just do any job you could possibly find. And I was like, coaching youth lacrosse, and one of the dads put me in touch with this doctor who is Chinese, and he was like, I need a website made. And I was like, I can do that.

[Shane Gillis]

Yeah.

[Dave Temple]

No idea how to do that. So I found these dudes in the Yucatan that would build websites for like super cheap. And I hired them and they, they just built like kind of the shittiest.

[Shane Gillis]

Wait, were they like standing outside of a Home Depot with a laptop? See website. See? No problem. In front of a Best Buy now Chinese doctor website. See?

[Dave Temple]

Yeah.

[Shane Gillis]

This episode of Matt and Shane's secret podcast is brought to you by Dude Wipes. If you're still dry wiping with toilet paper, it's time you show your B hole some respect and upgrade to Dude Wipes. Why? Because dude wipes are wet and that extra moisture cleans away what dry never could. They leave no room for dingleberries or stray butt crumbs that TP might miss. Plus, they're extra large and designed for adults. Dude wipes tackle the mess without any fuss. And the flushable design makes cleanup a breeze. No more endless rolls or settling for less than perfect wipes riff prompts. Think about a time you really could have used dude wipes literally every single day. Yeah, my ass is an absolute disaster. And also wetting the toilet paper.

[Dave Temple]

It's not the same.

[Shane Gillis]

It doesn't do it. It turns to a little tiny like paper dildo. You shove up your butt and you're like. Just comes out disgusting. You're like, dude, I. I had an.

[Dave Temple]

Itchy for a while and I, I started hitting the wipes and it did help.

[Shane Gillis]

That's huge.

[Dave Temple]

Yeah. Yeah.

[Shane Gillis]

Oh yeah. Dude, I. It's there. I mean, especially when I travel. When I'm in a hotel, it's like I'm always just cursing myself. I don't have the wipes on me because in a hotel my. When I travel, my ass. I could talk about this for an hour. Dude, my ass just goes haywire when I travel.

[Dave Temple]

Well, this is the first time I ever had like chronic itchy. Normally getting itchy, you know, once in a while this was like. Yeah, just had to start hit plaguing me, you know what I mean? We're early in the morning, you're trying to get a sleep an extra hour and you just can't cuz your so.

[Shane Gillis]

Bad squirming in bed. Well guys, Dude Wipes best clean pants down. Available on Amazon and at major retailers nationwide. I was laughing about the immigrant. What you going call it? The. It wasn't a parade. The protests. I was laughing about that the other day. It was just the fire parade. No way. There was fucking Mexican dudes at that, at that. Not parade. Protest.

[Matt McCusker]

No way they're never anywhere, like, fun. They're always like at work.

[Shane Gillis]

Yeah.

[Matt McCusker]

Which is. That's where they've been getting most of them is like at work. And then like pulling up on them at graduation was cold blooded, but also genius.

[Shane Gillis]

They heard them at graduation.

[Matt McCusker]

They were getting them at like high school graduations in L. A.

[Shane Gillis]

What?

[Matt McCusker]

Yeah, like, literally they would just wait.

[Shane Gillis]

For like you shake all your teacher's hand or just be an ice agent. Like, hey, congratulations.

[Matt McCusker]

Basically, it was just like, apparently like ice like pulled up to the graduation and they're just like making note of who's clapping at Spanish names. And then like, people kind of became aware of it and then they. You just saw a mass exodus. People just started running off the fucking graduation. People are like, really upset.

[Shane Gillis]

Yeah. I wonder how much of that. Because I've actually. Arden. It wasn't our neighbors in Philly. Well, there was our neighbors, but they're. They're like friends or cousins are ice agents. And I've talked to them and they're like, dude, it's nowhere. We're not doing any of this stuff they're saying we're doing.

[Matt McCusker]

Oh, really?

[Shane Gillis]

They've claimed.

[Matt McCusker]

I think it's all just Internet skits.

[Shane Gillis]

It's key and peel sketch. I could be wrong. I don't know.

[Matt McCusker]

It's just drew ski.

[Shane Gillis]

They could be biased. I don't know.

[Dave Temple]

It would be funny to just buy an ice agent costume.

[Matt McCusker]

We don't know what an ice agent looks like. Like, we all just heard these terms. I think five years.

[Shane Gillis]

I think they're dressed like stryker from Mortal Kombat. That's exactly. That's. Dude, if that protest, if they did get immigrants there, that would be genius. But guys, we're gonna go surround. ICE agents, they just drop a giant net. I got you. I got you.

[Matt McCusker]

It's like finding Nemo. It's just a little Mexican kid swim down.

[Shane Gillis]

I love Mexican immigrants. I think they're sick. I like them. Every. Everyone I've ever met has been awesome. I've never met a murderer or rapist.

[Dave Temple]

No. No.

[Matt McCusker]

Yeah.

[Shane Gillis]

But I'm sure it's all bar backs. Yeah. This whole dude's just working hard as hell.

[Matt McCusker]

Yeah, man.

[Shane Gillis]

So although. Yeah. So I've never met a murderous. They're very. Usually very uptight about the law. I remember I was driving this Mexican guy when I was working. I just started smoking a joint in my car and he looked at me like, the are you doing? I was like, man, relax. He's like, no, dude, I'm we get pulled over. I'm. And I was like, oh, yeah, my bad. Yeah, yeah.

[Dave Temple]

They're scared.

[Shane Gillis]

Then he tried to rape me. I said, hey, buddy. That's it. We don't like that kind of stuff in this country. That's enough of that, man.

[Dave Temple]

He didn't know that was against the law. This is what we do.

[Matt McCusker]

I wonder where they hide all of the hot Mexican women. I know they have to exist because, like, Selena was hot.

[Shane Gillis]

Yes.

[Matt McCusker]

But, like, where do you get more Selena's? You know what I mean?

[Shane Gillis]

Like, I saw some babes down in the Yucatan.

[Matt McCusker]

Yeah.

[Shane Gillis]

Being honest.

[Matt McCusker]

Yeah, that's what I'm saying. I think the hot ones, they don't.

[Shane Gillis]

Come here, get the workhorses.

[Matt McCusker]

Right, Right.

[Shane Gillis]

And they're on an American diet, and they just. You know what I mean?

[Matt McCusker]

That's the other thing. I, Like, I was just in San Antonio. Everyone down there is fucking fatty.

[Shane Gillis]

Right?

[Matt McCusker]

And it's just like. Like, it's not from Mexican food, though. Like, oh, you guys came over here, started eating our.

[Shane Gillis]

Yeah.

[Matt McCusker]

To excess. You know what I mean? You're not cooking. Because I don't think, like, I get it. Rice and beans is kind of starchy, but not like that.

[Shane Gillis]

Yeah, it's not gonna balloon. You like that? Yeah, yeah, it's.

[Dave Temple]

I think their bodies can't handle it, too. I think that's like an actual thing. Like, they didn't. They didn't evolve with our shitty food. They were, like, over there.

[Matt McCusker]

Yeah.

[Dave Temple]

And then we just showed up, and their bodies, like, don't. They're like. They're used to, like, storing fat for, like, a really long time. They're used to, like, starving.

[Matt McCusker]

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

[Shane Gillis]

They're keto. They're intermittent fasting for, like, months at a time.

[Dave Temple]

I swear to God. I don't know when I saw, like, a PBS documentary that was just like, the Mexican.

[Shane Gillis]

For real. For real.

[Dave Temple]

And it was just showing, like. It was just. You know how they, like, cut people's heads off and they just show their fat bodies. It was just showing, like, Mexicans and stuff walking around and the just. Their. Like, the fat is in all weird places.

[Matt McCusker]

Yeah, man.

[Shane Gillis]

Yeah. I mean, there are.

[Dave Temple]

I swear this is true. I swear to God. It's pbs.

[Shane Gillis]

Maybe they. They hit a point. If they have enough American food, they become like Russian nesting dolls.

[Chris O'Connor]

This episode is brought to you by Dude Wipes. If you're still dry wiping with toilet paper, you need to stop being an A hole to your B hole and switch to Dude Wipes. Isn't that funny?

[Shane Gillis]

That is funny.

[Chris O'Connor]

Whoever wrote this, give me a call. I need some material. I made the switch myself. And the difference, let me tell you, is real dude wipes tackle the mess without any fuss. And the convenience of their flushable design makes cleanup a breeze.

[Shane Gillis]

No more.

[Chris O'Connor]

Juggling rolls are settling for less than adequate wipes. Aren't you tired of juggling rolls, Matt?

[Shane Gillis]

For sure.

[Chris O'Connor]

They leave no room for dingleberries.

[Shane Gillis]

All right.

[Chris O'Connor]

Or stray butt crumbs that TP might miss.

[Shane Gillis]

Yeah. Leave those on the floor.

[Chris O'Connor]

The butt crumbs?

[Matt McCusker]

Yeah.

[Chris O'Connor]

Plus, they're extra large for adults. I like that because you are not a baby. So stop using baby wipes, ditch the itch, and switch to wet, extra large flushable dude wipes. Dude wipes Best clean Pants down. Available on Amazon and at major retailers nationwide.

[Shane Gillis]

But no, I was in. When I was in the Yucatan, I. You know, I didn't see a lot of them, man. It was just. It was like kind of like slender Mexican babes.

[Dave Temple]

Yeah.

[Shane Gillis]

Tight ponytails.

[Dave Temple]

Oh, yeah.

[Shane Gillis]

And I'm not lusting after them. I was just saying I didn't. It was. Yeah. You didn't see nobody?

[Dave Temple]

Nobody.

[Shane Gillis]

Like the lineman women. You know what I mean? Like the offensive line ladies. Yeah, yeah. The tortoise. You didn't see tortoise? I didn't see any tortoise, but there are. It is interesting because I feel like I'm. I'm confused. Are there indigenous Mexicans or indigenous Mexicans? The Indians who are down there. That's what I was kind of.

[Dave Temple]

Yeah. Yeah.

[Shane Gillis]

So. Huh. The Mayans were like, Indians.

[Dave Temple]

Yeah, they're Indians.

[Matt McCusker]

Yeah.

[Shane Gillis]

Then there was, like, Mexicans. So I'm, like, confused. I'm trying to. I'm going to get a clear understand. Are they all Indians with Spaniards?

[Dave Temple]

Yeah.

[Shane Gillis]

Then there's some Mexicans that are so Mexican, they look Asian. Do you ever get a load of those guys?

[Matt McCusker]

So I lived in Bushwick for years, and it's mostly Mexicans, but they all look so Asian. And they got the same kind of haircut, that bowl cut. You know what I mean?

[Shane Gillis]

Where you're like.

[Dave Temple]

Yeah. Because the Asians just got the mat over there.

[Shane Gillis]

Athletes.

[Dave Temple]

The Asians walked up over that. The land bridge.

[Shane Gillis]

Did they really?

[Dave Temple]

Yeah.

[Shane Gillis]

In New Mexico.

[Dave Temple]

Yeah. And that's. Then they became Indians of the Bering Strait.

[Matt McCusker]

It's your. Your eyes shifting around.

[Dave Temple]

Some level of confirmation.

[Shane Gillis]

You with me?

[Matt McCusker]

Knock if you're with me. I'm thinking you're looking for us to, like, add or tag onto this. And I'M like, I don't know whether he's. Seriously.

[Shane Gillis]

I mean, what is an Indian really?

[Dave Temple]

Just a guy.

[Shane Gillis]

Once you're looking for China. Yeah. Once you're looking for food long enough, I think you just become an Indian if you walk, like, 20 miles for a meal. Yeah. I think they did, like, all right, man.

[Dave Temple]

I mean, think about how fast.

[Matt McCusker]

Yeah.

[Dave Temple]

Think about how badass they must. They out walked the Chinese.

[Shane Gillis]

Really?

[Dave Temple]

Yeah. Yeah. Because everyone was going, I guess, east.

[Shane Gillis]

At their time to escape what, the cold or something.

[Dave Temple]

It's like, let's check out.

[Shane Gillis]

That is tight. If, like, a continent kind of emerges in the ocean, I'd be like, let's go check this out. Yeah.

[Matt McCusker]

Yeah. They just came. They just come and go. Like, the water levels rise, like.

[Shane Gillis]

Yeah.

[Matt McCusker]

Apparently there was a time you used to be able to, like, walk to Australia.

[Shane Gillis]

Yeah.

[Matt McCusker]

From, like, China. It was like a set of Polynesian islands.

[Dave Temple]

Oh, yeah.

[Matt McCusker]

They've all just kind of been submerged.

[Dave Temple]

Right.

[Shane Gillis]

You know, it's kind of nuts. I was reading the other day about the Indo European language. Like, how, like, I didn't realize the English language is linked to, like, Arabic. All those, like, Indian dialects. It's all the same root language.

[Matt McCusker]

Yeah.

[Shane Gillis]

So, like, they said that every other person alive today speaks some form of Indo European, like, languages. It's like English, French, Italian. All those ones, Iranian. They're all based on the same root language, Sanskrit as well, which is a dead language now. Yeah.

[Dave Temple]

I mean, I've always. I've always said English is the best language.

[Shane Gillis]

It is.

[Dave Temple]

And if your word is good enough, it'll become English.

[Matt McCusker]

Yeah.

[Shane Gillis]

Yes. We'll take it in. Yeah.

[Dave Temple]

We'll just take it. It's a much language. Yeah.

[Shane Gillis]

Yeah. Well, dude, language. They said every, like, 800 years, languages are complete. Like, Old English is totally unrecognizable now. That was the English language. It changes all the time. Yeah.

[Dave Temple]

It evolved. It's the sick.

[Shane Gillis]

It's.

[Dave Temple]

It's the only.

[Shane Gillis]

English is the best. It should. We should just all knock it off and just go English everywhere. I'm not. Not like, I'm not saying in a way, like, where I'm angry about it or whatever. I don't care.

[Dave Temple]

No, no.

[Shane Gillis]

But it is the most convenient language.

[Dave Temple]

Because we're not saying we won't use those words. Just show us the good ones. We'll use them.

[Matt McCusker]

Yeah, yeah.

[Shane Gillis]

You know what I mean? I could go Spanish during, like, lovemaking. Maybe. You save them.

[Matt McCusker]

Yeah. I'm learning Spanish now. I'm like, two years in the duolingo. But it sucks because they're like, they're teaching me such an old Spaniard version of Spanish. Like, my wife is Puerto Rican, so she speaks Caribbean.

[Shane Gillis]

Yeah.

[Matt McCusker]

Slang. And she's like, you're talking like the way someone would talk in the Bible.

[Dave Temple]

Yeah.

[Matt McCusker]

Like, you know what I mean? It's like.

[Shane Gillis]

Yeah, sick though.

[Matt McCusker]

Yeah. Like you're speaking Spanish, but it's like no one talks like that.

[Shane Gillis]

Spain. I was talking. We went out and did like snorkeling. I talked to the tour guide and he was saying that, like, people from Spain come there. They're like their version of British people. Basically. Like, the way they talk is just kind of like. She sounds like snobby, I guess.

[Matt McCusker]

Yeah. I got put onto that My first one of my earlier times coming to Texas, I was in Houston and I met this Mexican girl who was just talking about how, like they think Puerto Ricans and Dominicans, their. Their Spanish is trash.

[Shane Gillis]

Yeah.

[Matt McCusker]

Like, what the. But they said people in Spanish think Mexicans are trash. Like the way they talk.

[Shane Gillis]

Yeah. They hold it down. I think having like a long colonial empire for a while, you start to kind of look down on everybody is like, yeah. Kind of sucking.

[Matt McCusker]

Well, here's the other crazy thing.

[Dave Temple]

Apparently sucks to spend two years learning a language and realize you've been learning like the snootiest version.

[Matt McCusker]

Yeah, yeah. This was like when I was in.

[Dave Temple]

College learning two years working on becoming a condescending pr.

[Shane Gillis]

Just sound like an. No, I was just trying to. Yeah, yeah. You turned me into an. I paid thousands of dollars. Now I sound like an absolute jerk off. I could lean into that though. Dude. Just him up with some vosotros. Like you guys don't know about that.

[Matt McCusker]

Yeah, yeah.

[Shane Gillis]

That's like the formal, like saying we. You like vosotros, but it's only used in Spain, I believe.

[Dave Temple]

Okay.

[Matt McCusker]

I don't even think they use it anymore.

[Shane Gillis]

Really?

[Matt McCusker]

Yeah, I think it's just an old. It's like an old computer language which, yeah. It's the basis of shit but no one uses.

[Shane Gillis]

It's like they're indubitably. Basically. I used to tell my teacher, my Spanish teacher in high school, she's like, you got to hit like, the accent. And I'd be like, no, if I. If I'm going to use this language, I'm going to try to get babes. And I want my accent because I never exact an accent.

[Matt McCusker]

Right.

[Shane Gillis]

I can have a foreign accent. Why would I. That's also insane.

[Matt McCusker]

Right?

[Shane Gillis]

Like at Some point, it becomes almost like a total impression.

[Matt McCusker]

I know. Could you imagine, like, a Mexican person just, like, doing a white accent to, like, nail English? And you'd be like, dude, yeah, relax, man.

[Dave Temple]

I don't know if you matched an outfit to it. If you started dressing like the Count of Monte Cristo or something, just going into Mexican bars.

[Shane Gillis]

Yeah. They were like, darn skippy. He'd be like, all right, turn it down, brother. Turn it the down.

[Dave Temple]

Isn't that happening to Chinese, too? Aren't they getting rid of all the characters?

[Shane Gillis]

What you mean the, like, the.

[Dave Temple]

Because they're just unworkable. Yeah, yeah.

[Shane Gillis]

You know, time to draw a tiny waterfall. And it's like. Yeah, exactly. How do I say this? You have to draw, like, the sun.

[Dave Temple]

You also can't put a tiny waterfall, like, on a keyboard.

[Shane Gillis]

Yeah.

[Matt McCusker]

You know, I know when I see, like, Chinese people texting on the train in New York, I'm just like, what the fuck?

[Shane Gillis]

I know.

[Matt McCusker]

You know, it's like, how do you. Like, Especially from. Like, you don't even know where to begin. Like, I understand. They don't read like we do left or right, but you're like, wait a minute. Is this the Matrix?

[Shane Gillis]

What do they read bottom to the top?

[Matt McCusker]

I think they read up and down. And then also, like.

[Shane Gillis]

Seriously?

[Matt McCusker]

Yeah, I think.

[Dave Temple]

Yeah, I think it's right.

[Shane Gillis]

They're just playing Sudoku all day long. Yeah, I'm all for, you know, just like, we'll pick a language and just all rock with it. We kind of have a little bit English kind of. Dude, literally. Well, that doesn't count because, like, Arabic and all that stuff, whatever. But, yeah, I'd say English just, you know, it's the best.

[Dave Temple]

I would say it's the best because it can become anything.

[Matt McCusker]

Yeah, yeah. And we don't have weird sounds that require, like, your throat and tongue and nose to get involved.

[Dave Temple]

True, true. It's a lazy.

[Matt McCusker]

Yeah, yeah.

[Dave Temple]

It's a lazy language.

[Shane Gillis]

Dude. I have a. I was. I got a haircut the other day, and I was. It was at, like, a place my wife goes to. So it was like, just. It was a very gay play. A very gay establishment.

[Dave Temple]

Yeah, it was a salon.

[Shane Gillis]

Yeah. Literally a hair salon. And, like, it's a gayest barbershop. There's got to be a word for this. It was. It was literally a hair salon.

[Matt McCusker]

I'm such a man. I don't even know what this is. Gay, I'll tell you that.

[Shane Gillis]

Well, dude, I was sitting there. It was. Dudes are the Best. I got it. He gave me a strict. He gave me a strict lecture. He's like, do you put product in here? I was like, not really. And he was like, dude, gator straight. It's time. It's time to put something. I was like, yes, it's a good sell. But I was watching ladies turn it on so hard when they, like, see gay guys. I watched, they all, like, act like. Like, hi. It's weird. They, like, do this whole. They kind of really sell his whole voice. And I. I came up with a theory. I really think, like, they are connected on, like, a soul level. I think, like, if you live a lifetime as a woman, once you, like, nail it karmically, I think you come back as a gay man.

[Dave Temple]

As a gay man.

[Matt McCusker]

Yeah.

[Shane Gillis]

Yeah. I think women, after, like, six lifetimes, come back as a man.

[Matt McCusker]

Yeah.

[Shane Gillis]

That's, like, their reward.

[Dave Temple]

And they get to dudes.

[Shane Gillis]

Yes.

[Dave Temple]

Yeah.

[Shane Gillis]

With a piece.

[Dave Temple]

That's the. Yeah, that's the reward.

[Shane Gillis]

And still, like, you know, like, get all decked out with clothes and all that stuff.

[Matt McCusker]

I don't know. Women, though. They're like that. Dude, they're so disingenuous. They'll take on anyone that they're talking to. They do the same thing with, like, babies. You know what I mean?

[Shane Gillis]

Like, women, they'll put.

[Matt McCusker]

They'll put on a totally different facade and voice and bend down and talk to a child. Completely different. It's like, hey, I just saw you talk like an adult right there, and now you're gonna come down and put on kid voice for me? Like, yeah, yeah. Women are psycho.

[Shane Gillis]

Yeah. What even are you. They are shapeshifters, for sure.

[Matt McCusker]

Absolutely.

[Shane Gillis]

They are. They're all.

[Matt McCusker]

I've been working with this concept now.

[Shane Gillis]

That, like, it's crawling on the ceiling.

[Matt McCusker]

I've been working with this concept now that, like, a blow job is such a disingenuous act.

[Shane Gillis]

How so?

[Matt McCusker]

No, because they're done with so much enthusiasm up front.

[Shane Gillis]

Yeah.

[Matt McCusker]

But the enthusiasm only gets less and less and less as time goes on. So clearly, like, you were never really into this.

[Shane Gillis]

That's fair.

[Matt McCusker]

And it's like. Like, you can imagine, the more you've been with a woman, she loves you more.

[Shane Gillis]

Yeah.

[Matt McCusker]

So you should be doing that more or at least with more enthusiasm, because the love is going up.

[Shane Gillis]

Yeah.

[Matt McCusker]

But it doesn't. So somehow it's like, oh, this is not an act of love.

[Shane Gillis]

Yeah.

[Matt McCusker]

This is more an act of manipulation.

[Shane Gillis]

I believe you. They are, at root, kind of those, like, Egyptian guys outside of The Gamal kiosk. They'll like polish your one now. Really? Well then it's just. It's a scam. It's a scam.

[Matt McCusker]

Polishing my nail.

[Shane Gillis]

Smooth it up. And you're like, that's nice. I gotta give me 500.

[Matt McCusker]

Because they don't come off for like a month. Every day you look at this one shiny nail and you're like, what does that say about me?

[Shane Gillis]

What is that?

[Matt McCusker]

I gotta.

[Dave Temple]

I gotta imagine on some level, for them, the thrill is gone, you know?

[Shane Gillis]

Yeah. For Blur.

[Dave Temple]

Yeah.

[Matt McCusker]

Yeah, absolutely.

[Shane Gillis]

I understand.

[Dave Temple]

You know, but.

[Matt McCusker]

But what I'm saying is it's like if they needed something, they could turn it on the same way they turn on baby talk or same way they turn on gay talk.

[Dave Temple]

True.

[Shane Gillis]

For sure. Yeah, it's. I. I even.

[Dave Temple]

I've been starting some strategy on our part.

[Shane Gillis]

Yeah, true.

[Dave Temple]

You gotta create things that they need that only a blow job will give them access to.

[Matt McCusker]

This is turning into a red pill Po.

[Shane Gillis]

That's. I want to start doing that just listening to red pill. Like me reels in bed next to my wife because I caught one the other day. It's like, if your wife, as soon as a girl you're with stops giving you head, she doesn't love you anymore and, you know, you're now a beta. And I was just like, dude, I'm sending this to her right now. It's so funny. She has lost all attraction for you and she's thinking about another more successful man. She wants to suck their parents penis. Those guys are just non stop, man.

[Matt McCusker]

Right, right.

[Shane Gillis]

It's such a wild. Like the, the men's rights movement is. It's like exhausting.

[Matt McCusker]

Yeah.

[Shane Gillis]

So, dude, I get it. Oh, yeah. We die in war for sure.

[Dave Temple]

Right?

[Shane Gillis]

It's like, Jesus, take a breath, man.

[Matt McCusker]

I just also like the fact that they are hiring street walkers. Like, they literally just find prostitutes on the street. Like, yo, how much for your time for like the next two hours? Yeah, you want to come in and debate? Like, it's insane.

[Shane Gillis]

Just 12 women and just being you guys are whores. And they're like, yeah, you're paying me. I can't.

[Matt McCusker]

Right? They're just sitting there following the nails. Like, yeah, okay, I'm a. And then like one is like actually trying to argue, but wait. And it's like, no, just. Yeah, sit and get your money, love.

[Shane Gillis]

Those are the wildest spot. I do feel like that would be a cool experience to just talk to 12 escorts at one time. I would simp out So I don't. I couldn't. I would simply. You guys lives are actually really hard. That's a good point, actually.

[Dave Temple]

No one respects you.

[Shane Gillis]

Yeah, yeah. Sex work is. It's weird how sex work became like a. A lot of like, very educated, kind of white ladies got into this whole thing. They're like, I'm a sex worker. And they, you know, like, with the only. They'll like, show their tits on only fans. Like, we're united. It's like, dude, you're not a sex worker, man. Yeah, Sex work. When the sex workers are like women who have no choice.

[Dave Temple]

Yeah.

[Shane Gillis]

Being like, I'll do this for a month. It's like, dude, knock it off.

[Dave Temple]

They just want to justify making the money.

[Shane Gillis]

Yeah, true.

[Dave Temple]

You know, know, it's a, it's an internal conflict that's being externalized.

[Shane Gillis]

Yeah. Well, no, a lot of women have gone the other way with a soft girl lifestyle. Are you familiar with soft girl versus soft girl? Soft girl? So there was girl boss girl. We, we grew up in an era of girl boss sex in the city. It was all about bossing up. A lot of them are now going soft girl lifestyle. And I, I looked into it. It's actually was started by Nigerian women who, due to like just rampant inflation, were like, we got to learn how to like, get along without stuff. And it's all about just like focusing on pampering yourself, letting go of like your drive for success and just going full self care. So it's a whole. It's a whole. It's like a whole trend on tick tock. Yeah, we just wear like pasta. You just get super girly.

[Matt McCusker]

Yep.

[Shane Gillis]

And you're like, no, I'm totally okay with the man.

[Matt McCusker]

I'm starting to get that way now. That's what this long hair is about. I've never had long hair in my life. Like, yeah, dude, I'm like taking care of myself. Like, I used to have a. I used to have like a low Caesar because I had like alopecia spots from just being a grizzled man out here that no one cares about. And now I'm like, I have a loofah. You know what I mean? And I like moisturize. And I'm like, wow, like, who knew you could just be a softie and still be fine?

[Shane Gillis]

Well, it's like tied into like politics apparently. Like the, like this self care was big because they're like taking a nap. The girls are just taking naps again.

[Matt McCusker]

Yeah.

[Shane Gillis]

And it's like a whole thing on TikTok like it's actually a political act to rejuvenate myself, continue to fight. It's like, dude, go take it down.

[Dave Temple]

Turning a nap into a cause.

[Shane Gillis]

Yeah, for real.

[Dave Temple]

That's insane.

[Shane Gillis]

I was reading an article about Sabrina Carpenter because there it was actually pretty. It was a. It was a decent article. It was written, I think by like a gender studies major. So it was like all this like other. It got like super complicated unnecessarily. But they're saying she is like a. They were saying white women have appropriated the soft girl lifestyle, which was like Nigerian black American women more so. And white girls are just starting to do it more as like, I'm going to the spa. I'm a soft girl. But they were saying she is appropriating the soft girl. The soft girl lifestyle, which is like, just stolen. Yeah, they're so. Yeah, they're saying they're like warping it. It was all about like political naps and like eggs costing 50 million Jubilos or whatever. The. Whatever money. I don't know. I don't know what the money is.

[Dave Temple]

Whatever. Silly currency.

[Shane Gillis]

Yeah. That is a sick move for things like just rampant inflation and be like. Like, dude, I'm gonna do a trick to. Or TikTok trend. I don't need. I'm done trying to get stuff.

[Dave Temple]

It's so funny. Just. That's how you deal with inflation is take a nap.

[Shane Gillis]

Yeah, yeah, Take a political nap. Rejuvenate yourself, do your nails and just kind of like think about. Plot your next move, how to battle.

[Matt McCusker]

Yeah. Taking pictures of your.

[Shane Gillis]

Trying to figure that out. Guys, this episode is brought to you by Better Help. You might not realize it, but guys face tons of pressure. Talk about any stigmas. Men face tons of stigmas. We can't express our emotions, dude, and it's just not fair. We need a therapist to teach us how to do that. Speak on the difficulties men face when seeking help with mental health. Yeah, you know, sometimes you feel like a weak little girl, but you gotta, you know, overcome that and be a man. In therapy and outside of therapy, real strength isn't about bottling everything up inside and hiding your faults. It's acknowledging that you need help. Help and doing something about it. If you feel like you're carrying the weight of the world, talk to someone. A friend, a family, or a professional. BetterHelp has over 35, 000 licensed therapists you can connect with. Yeah, I think it's a good thing. You should definitely do it, guys. Millions of people rely on BetterHelp. And based on the many reviews and 4.9 ratings in the App Store, it works. As the largest online therapy provider in the world, BetterHelp can provide access to mental health professionals with a diverse variety of expertise. Talk it out with BetterHelp. Our listeners get 10% off their first [e-mail] MSSP that's BetterHelp. H E L P.com MSSP now you can watch the best of Hulu on.

[Dave Temple]

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[Shane Gillis]

But they're saying Sabrina Carpenter, not well, I guess her, because she's like, her whole thing is she's like a small, petite, you know what I'm talking about?

[Matt McCusker]

I know her. Yeah.

[Shane Gillis]

I didn't, I'm just learning about this person. But she's a very small, petite lady. And they're saying, and it's actually kind of overt her cover to her, I think her new album is the same as the, the book cover of Lolita, which is about that man who is obsessed sexually with a 12 year old girl.

[Matt McCusker]

Okay.

[Shane Gillis]

And her, her album cover does kind of copy that. And this lady who's like, I think like a, like a feminist lady who, she's like, she's selling pedophilia and everyone's eating it up.

[Matt McCusker]

Wow.

[Dave Temple]

It's like, yeah, I think so.

[Shane Gillis]

Yeah. It's fair. It's a, it's a right, fair analysis. Then she did like a big thing about the soft girl lifestyle and how it was stolen.

[Dave Temple]

I was like, all right, well, Sabrina Carpenter did. Or the other lady.

[Shane Gillis]

Yeah. She's saying she's like a, a warped version. They did that with me too. Me too was black ladies. Black ladies started me too. And it was just, yeah. It was like, it was like factory workers too.

[Matt McCusker]

Yeah. Because they'll be the person that will actually speak up.

[Shane Gillis]

Yeah.

[Matt McCusker]

Like especially the era that we came out of, like if some, if someone was sexually assaulted, it's going to be a black woman to be like, nah, that raped me. Okay. Nah, girl, you need to stand up for yourself.

[Shane Gillis]

Like, dude, it was for real. It was in like factories. Women were getting like their asses grabbed and stuff in factories. And finally they were like, like this. And then like Gwyneth Paltrow was like, yeah, I'm uncomfortable on movie sets. It became this whole thing. Well, I mean, a lot of them.

[Matt McCusker]

Have you ever seen. Remember that movie too? Wong Fu 2. Wong Fu was like Wesley Snipes and.

[Dave Temple]

Yeah.

[Matt McCusker]

John Leguizamo and the other.

[Dave Temple]

Yeah, isn't it.

[Shane Gillis]

They were in the drag.

[Dave Temple]

Yeah.

[Shane Gillis]

What?

[Matt McCusker]

It's Wesley Snipes. What's the white guy from Roadhouse?

[Shane Gillis]

Patrick Swayze. Patrick Swayze wore the dress.

[Matt McCusker]

They were all drag queens or trans people. But like, they're like driving a Cadillac across country, stopping through small town America and changing things. Just making things fabulous, but also teaching middle America white women how to like, stand up to their husbands. Like. Cause it's like cartoonish evil. Like, the man is like beating the woman around the house because he put pepper in the sauce. You know what I mean? And they're like, uh, girl, you gotta stand up for yourself. Like at one point, Patrick Swayze like goes in and kicks the guy's ass in a dress. You know what I mean?

[Dave Temple]

What?

[Shane Gillis]

It's weird.

[Matt McCusker]

Yeah.

[Shane Gillis]

A. It was like a Miss Doubtfire kind of situation.

[Matt McCusker]

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

[Dave Temple]

He enters a swim meet and just crouches everybody.

[Shane Gillis]

Them in drag beating up husbands.

[Matt McCusker]

Yeah, yeah.

[Shane Gillis]

It's kind of sick, actually.

[Matt McCusker]

Yeah.

[Shane Gillis]

I didn't know that existed.

[Dave Temple]

Such a.

[Matt McCusker]

You didn't know that existed?

[Shane Gillis]

No.

[Matt McCusker]

Yeah. It's called two Wong Fu. Thanks for everything, Julie Newmar. It's a very long title. Like don't be a menace.

[Shane Gillis]

And it was Snipes too.

[Matt McCusker]

Yeah, Wesley Snipes, man. Like, yeah.

[Shane Gillis]

And he's like, who looked the most like a woman?

[Matt McCusker]

John, like wasamo.

[Shane Gillis]

Yeah, yeah.

[Matt McCusker]

He's all like Puerto Rican down. You know what I mean?

[Shane Gillis]

Oh, poppy.

[Matt McCusker]

You're like, okay.

[Shane Gillis]

Like bbl.

[Matt McCusker]

Like, I still can't unsee John so feminine that way, you know? Yeah, yeah, he does a lot. He did a lot of like drag stuff back in the early 90s.

[Shane Gillis]

Really?

[Matt McCusker]

Yeah. He was like, okay in the dress and makeup up. Yeah. This is a theater, man. And he's not even Puerto Rican. That's fake. He's Italian, actually. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, he's Italian. Yeah. Yeah.

[Shane Gillis]

My wife like. No, this is how you hit your wife. You faint last. That's crazy, man. Yeah, That's a insane movie.

[Dave Temple]

How did you find that out?

[Matt McCusker]

The Internet.

[Dave Temple]

Yeah.

[Shane Gillis]

Is he like all Italian or is it like a.

[Matt McCusker]

No, he's not Puerto Rican. I think he's.

[Dave Temple]

He.

[Matt McCusker]

He did something like anti Trump or something. Everybody dug in. They always know, though, dude. My wife is Puerto Rican. She knows who's What? Like, they keep track.

[Shane Gillis]

Yeah, yeah.

[Matt McCusker]

He's Filipino. That doesn't count. He's Cuban. Okay.

[Shane Gillis]

Like, holy.

[Matt McCusker]

Yeah, they're. They're very racist.

[Shane Gillis]

I do, like, inter group beef. Like, it just makes me laugh when it's like, Mexicans are like, Puerto Ricans. Like, damn, you guys are beefing. I didn't know that.

[Matt McCusker]

Yeah, yeah.

[Shane Gillis]

Makes you feel.

[Matt McCusker]

You're like, all right, well, yeah, like.

[Shane Gillis]

Maybe white guys aren't the worst.

[Matt McCusker]

That's what I say. Do white guys. Guys do that? Do white guys have any inter. White guy beef?

[Shane Gillis]

I mean, fading. It was like my dad, like, held it down. Like, Italians, like. Yeah, he was kind. I mean, it wouldn't be like, overt.

[Matt McCusker]

Italians used to hate each other.

[Shane Gillis]

We live in different. It was like. I mean, not me, but my dad grew up. Yeah. It was southwest Philly. They moved to Havertown, but they. In southwest Philly. It was like, he's like, you wouldn't even go to Italian neighborhoods. It was just kind of like that.

[Matt McCusker]

Yeah.

[Dave Temple]

I guess we were kind of squashing the beef.

[Shane Gillis]

Catholic school. I feel like you go to Catholic school and like. All right.

[Matt McCusker]

But I think it was also because, like, most Irish dudes and back in the day all went into law enforcement and, like, a lot of Italian guys were up to no good.

[Shane Gillis]

Yeah, true.

[Matt McCusker]

So I think that's kind of where that beef is going to start, you know?

[Shane Gillis]

True. Yeah. I could see that there was a lot of Irish guys up to no good as well, but I think they were just quiet and not as flashy.

[Matt McCusker]

Yeah.

[Shane Gillis]

Taylor guys were way too flashy. Yeah, they were. They blew it.

[Matt McCusker]

Yeah.

[Dave Temple]

Although I felt bad for the Philly mob. You know what?

[Shane Gillis]

When they all got like.

[Dave Temple]

Last article I saw about the Philly mob was like, they caught them. They had, like, counterfeit, like, cigarette machines and, like, jukeboxes.

[Shane Gillis]

Yeah. Really slumming it.

[Dave Temple]

I was like, oh, man. Just let them have it.

[Shane Gillis]

Just dinosaurs, dude.

[Dave Temple]

Yeah.

[Shane Gillis]

They got busted for being arcades. They said tokens. Chuck E. Cheese tokens.

[Matt McCusker]

Yeah. Like, they're like, lost in time. The last, like, standing organized group is like, the most bummers. Right.

[Shane Gillis]

Also dress like girls.

[Matt McCusker]

Yeah, right.

[Shane Gillis]

Yeah, they. I remember in, like, the early 2000s, a lot of the bookies got busted. It was like, Nikki the hat was a big one. And they all just got sick. Crush. He has a sick name. But they all just got, like, crushed. A lot of them lived out in, like, the Ridley park area. Like, the suburbs surrounding Philly had, like, Italian club. There's, like, A club. When I worked for this guy, we used to go to this, like, one Italian club. And they were all. All. They all claim to be kind of like mobbed up, but they're all geezers.

[Dave Temple]

Yeah.

[Shane Gillis]

They own, like, floor shops and stuff. They were kind of sick.

[Dave Temple]

They all started doing that kind of that Sopranos thing where, like, guys that were not in the mob were like, I'm in the mob.

[Shane Gillis]

Yeah. Although that's the Italian curse. It's like your nephews, like, my uncles. Every Italian thinks their uncle's meeting those guys.

[Dave Temple]

Just. Yeah, he's got one jukebox.

[Matt McCusker]

Yeah.

[Dave Temple]

Yeah, he's in the mob, dude.

[Shane Gillis]

Michael's got the touch Tune. The touch of tunes. Yeah. My dad and his brother so did, like, all the gambling websites. Just put them out there. There's nothing. I guess they can still, like, sneak, like, import women, maybe.

[Dave Temple]

Yeah.

[Shane Gillis]

Shipping cargoes, but, you know, shipping containers, but true. I think the Ruskis got that under control, so.

[Matt McCusker]

Yeah. Yeah. I guess, like, funeral homes is still kind of the play.

[Shane Gillis]

Yeah.

[Matt McCusker]

There's got to be some way to do something with funeral homes. I know that's got a struggle also, because from what I'm understanding, like, my family owns a funeral home in. In Atlantic City.

[Shane Gillis]

Nice.

[Matt McCusker]

And they struggling now because it's booming.

[Shane Gillis]

Yes, it used to be, but they're.

[Matt McCusker]

Saying, like, younger people don't value. They're coming in, like, all right. My grandmother died. What is the cheapest way we can get this done? Yeah, yeah.

[Shane Gillis]

It's just expensive, man. Yeah. You go in there. A lot of my dad and his brothers were family owned Trash company, which was like a red flag for, like, people say organized cr. They weren't at all, but they dealt with, like, Trash company was largely controlled by the mob. And they would get, like, their dumpsters stolen all the time by mob guys.

[Matt McCusker]

Yeah.

[Shane Gillis]

They'd have to go up and give me my fucking dumpster.

[Matt McCusker]

But I understand that now, especially after living in a city like New York, where it's just like, hey, man, if we don't pick up the trash, things are going to get bad.

[Shane Gillis]

Oh, yeah.

[Matt McCusker]

So, you know, it's a good business.

[Shane Gillis]

Well, that's. Yeah, that's sanitation. These were like, dumpsters are more like private because, like, the city sanitation is kind of just like. That's just kind of like city workers. But then if like dumpsters, like driving, dropping dumpsters at, like, hospitals and. And picking them back up and used to have a yard where you just dump all your trash and separate it.

[Matt McCusker]

Yeah.

[Shane Gillis]

That. Because you could get rid of anything or any. You know, you could. That's why the trash was, like, super.

[Matt McCusker]

Yeah.

[Shane Gillis]

In the cement. That's why all the Italians did cement, because you could just pour cement over people. It's true, dude. My dad would get. They would get dumpsters from the hospital, and, like, when people would come in with injuries, they would just throw their weapons away.

[Matt McCusker]

Yeah.

[Shane Gillis]

So they would get, like, guns, and in the trash, they were like, it.

[Matt McCusker]

Yeah.

[Shane Gillis]

It's kind of sick.

[Matt McCusker]

I know. And then they got weird because instead of selling them right. In these younger generations, they. I'll just sell these to my black friends. You know what I mean? So now you got black kids walking around with guns with bodies on them, like, you know.

[Shane Gillis]

Yeah, dude, the switches thing is terrifying.

[Matt McCusker]

Yeah.

[Shane Gillis]

Putting the. Turning them automatic.

[Matt McCusker]

Yeah, man, that was.

[Shane Gillis]

Yeah. You can put a switch on a.

[Matt McCusker]

Gun switch, extended clips, where now instead of 16 shots, you have, like.32 and you just squeeze the button and it.

[Shane Gillis]

Just turns automatic and it's just children.

[Matt McCusker]

Running around with extendos and no aim. They don't go to the range ever, because their motto is just like, I'm just squeezing at the whole area, and we'll see what happens.

[Shane Gillis]

Yeah. Yeah. That's crazy how that got caught up in, like, the YouTube algorithm, too, where it's like. It's like, financially, if you have, like, a cool, like, drill rap thing, and it's like, you, like, you can prove that you've murdered lots of people. It's like, it does well on YouTube.

[Matt McCusker]

People like, oh, yeah, the young rappers. I don't even know any of music. I only hear about them shooting people or going to jail because, like, this person has confirmed they've murdered someone.

[Dave Temple]

And I'm like, they do.

[Shane Gillis]

Minute long. So every song's one minute long.

[Matt McCusker]

Yeah.

[Shane Gillis]

It's just them being like, yeah, I definitely killed that guy. You're like, all right, that's crazy. Yeah, it's up. I've gone down those rabbit holes so many times where I, like, I'll get, like, invested in those guys and, like, they die. Like, you'll find out they died, and.

[Matt McCusker]

You'Re like, damn, we're talking about that last night, too. That. That has become the genius of the. The music business, pushing hip hop. It's like, let's just find a young crash out with no family that hopefully they'll get big enough where we could just collect their royalties forever. You know what I mean? Like, they'll just die. They don't have children. No one cares. And yeah, yeah, yeah.

[Shane Gillis]

Yeah, it's a pretty sinister model.

[Matt McCusker]

Yeah.

[Dave Temple]

You hire a new artist to kill off the old artist. You need it for the crate for your. For your next album.

[Shane Gillis]

Yeah.

[Matt McCusker]

Don't worry. He's only going to shoot you a little bit. You won't die.

[Shane Gillis]

Also, I mean, even if it's not intentional, it's like, you know, you're running a music label and yeah, once it happens, once you're like, that worked out pretty well for us. I could see it being like, that guy's a surefire bet. That guy's a good pick. Oh, you want to sell heroin? We'll give you a little bit of money. How about you get it. Get in there and get active, dude. I wouldn't. I could definitely see that happening.

[Dave Temple]

Happening.

[Matt McCusker]

Right.

[Dave Temple]

Going in for a meeting. Do you have anyone you could kill or.

[Matt McCusker]

Right.

[Shane Gillis]

Yeah.

[Matt McCusker]

Do you have any active beefs with anybody?

[Shane Gillis]

Well, there's, like, subreddits where, like, people go on and give, like, the scoop. Like, this person is against this person. It's all because there's so much upside if you're like, if you pop off on the algorithm, you can make hundreds of thousands of dollars.

[Matt McCusker]

That is also scary to me where, like you said, these reaction videos, where those videos also have, like a quarter million views. Just reacting to what someone did on their, like, on their live.

[Shane Gillis]

Yeah.

[Matt McCusker]

You know, people just sit there and watch people go live and screen record and like, all right, cool. I got content now, you know?

[Shane Gillis]

Yeah. I do. Like the streams, like, the young black streamers, where it's just dudes standing in a room with a scroll of. Just people commenting.

[Matt McCusker]

Yeah.

[Shane Gillis]

Shit's sick.

[Matt McCusker]

Yeah.

[Dave Temple]

And they're just sitting there, like, eating a sandwich.

[Shane Gillis]

Yeah. It's. It's insane.

[Dave Temple]

It's great.

[Shane Gillis]

Like, who's the one guy? Kai Sonata. He's huge. He's. He's like a. His platform is massive.

[Matt McCusker]

To the point where Kamala Harris was like, like, begging to get on the show during her run for election, and he wouldn't let her on.

[Shane Gillis]

It is crazy. There are podcasters who seem genuinely more powerful than the presidential candidates who, like, nah, I'm good on her. Who else? We got your booking service. You're like, yeah, bro.

[Matt McCusker]

He went live to say that. He's like, yo, Secret Service keeps calling my phone, trying to get me to have kama on. I. I don't want to be political. Get there. But I knew that he was going to bedroom. I knew he was going to be in those crosshairs when he did that. That Stunt in Union Square.

[Shane Gillis]

What'd he do?

[Matt McCusker]

He said he was going to give out like a few PlayStation fives and like 250,000 kids showed up to Union Square and it was like a massive riot. They destroyed the place. And it was like there was no brand that didn't see that. That was like, yeah, that's kind of.

[Shane Gillis]

Chum in the waters putting out a bunch of PS5s.

[Matt McCusker]

Yeah, right?

[Shane Gillis]

That's a recipe for disaster.

[Matt McCusker]

250,000 people and they just tore the place apart. Like, he had to be. His team had to get him out of there in an suv. And there's like helicopter footage of like people are hanging on the SUV as it's speeding away. Like, you know, they're like hanging on for dear life.

[Shane Gillis]

It was like the Iraqi extraction.

[Matt McCusker]

And I'll never forget the day that that happened. We were in the city. I was actually in Washington Square park recording content, man on the street content for my podcast Ass. And there's just like a helicopter just kind of like hovering. And I remember my wife, she's like, those are police helicopters. Like something, something crazy is happening right now. You know what I mean? And then we got home and saw the news and it was like, oh, yeah, damn.

[Shane Gillis]

Yeah, that's. That is wild, man. That's. That is so funny for just podcasts. There's dudes in a room. Like, it'd be nice if Kamala went on and did the Kodak Black where she just like tossed a pill up in the air. Caught it. It caught perks out of it that he was. That's my favorite appearance on any kind of show. Yeah, we just threw a perk in the air, caught in his mouth and he goes a little glitch for the twitch and just like laid there like that.

[Matt McCusker]

Dude, those dudes, I love that they, they're just like by themselves going live all the time.

[Shane Gillis]

Yeah.

[Matt McCusker]

To the point I'm not even sure whether they're real people anymore.

[Dave Temple]

Like, I don't know.

[Matt McCusker]

There's no way soldier boy is a human being.

[Dave Temple]

Dude, we, we. I. I got an opportunity to hang out with Kaisen out once and is like they just filmed his girlfriend beating him up and then they stopped and he was like, nice.

[Shane Gillis]

Yeah, it's insane.

[Dave Temple]

Oh, so just like a made up scene.

[Matt McCusker]

Yeah, like, it's like the littlest things go. Like, he's going viral right now as we speak because he was at the BET Awards.

[Shane Gillis]

Saw that.

[Matt McCusker]

And he was just in the parking lot and fucking Wale is walking in the parking lot. And he sees him and he doesn't know who he is, but he was nice. He was like, oh, hey, how you doing? And then he gets in there and the thing and the chat is just going crazy. Like, oh, Wale, Wale. And he's like, Wally. The fuck is Wally? And then like the guy filming is like, wale. That's the guy. You just. He's like, oh, what'd he do? And fucking then like, everyone's like, yo, you don't know Wale. Blah, blah. And Wale, he's kind of petty for this because he does this a lot. Yeah, he's like online and he's always reading comments of what people are saying about him. So then he goes and approaches Kai Sinat, like in the award show, to be like, yo, that interaction got me looking crazy online right now, man, but we'll talk later. Like, and Kai is like sitting there talking to Snoop Dogg, like, what? Like, yeah, what are you talking about?

[Shane Gillis]

It's also. Now you look crazy to be like. It's also insane to be like. Like if, if he knew you. That's just how it works. Like if, if somebody doesn't know you, it's not that person's fault.

[Matt McCusker]

Right.

[Shane Gillis]

And you just got to let it go.

[Matt McCusker]

Right.

[Dave Temple]

Especially if you probably did know him, though. It's just. No, no talking with Wall. I'm on Wallace.

[Shane Gillis]

I wouldn't recognize recognizing if I saw him. It's unbelievable.

[Matt McCusker]

You'd be surprised what 21 and 22 year olds. No, don't know.

[Shane Gillis]

No.

[Dave Temple]

Kai knows. No, man, this is the most plugged in guy he's got. He almost had Kamala Harris.

[Matt McCusker]

No, because here's the thing. It's been going on for the rest of the night of other older black celebrities that he didn't know.

[Shane Gillis]

Yeah, it's got to be a test now.

[Dave Temple]

No, he's doing a bit, dude, he's with these guys.

[Shane Gillis]

I mean, you have the inside track.

[Dave Temple]

Unbelievable.

[Shane Gillis]

You have the inside track. Wreck.

[Dave Temple]

I'm sick and tired of it.

[Shane Gillis]

What are you sick and tired of?

[Dave Temple]

You show up to the BET Horse, you don't know anyone there.

[Matt McCusker]

It's Snoop and Kevin Hart. Who else do you need to know? Everybody else.

[Shane Gillis]

When's the last time Wale put out a song?

[Dave Temple]

I don't know a single song.

[Shane Gillis]

I know songs from like 12 years ago.

[Matt McCusker]

Okay, but here's the other thing right now, you know W. Right. And you know, remember when he was doing the stuff with Seinfeld?

[Shane Gillis]

No.

[Matt McCusker]

What have he had an album about? Nothing. The mixtape About Nothing.

[Dave Temple]

Making stuff with Seinfeld.

[Matt McCusker]

He would do skits with Seinfeld in between the songs. But the way the project worked, he reached out, like, he would do these mixtapes about Nothing where he would play excerpts from the show to lead into songs that he wrote.

[Shane Gillis]

Yeah, this is why Kai Sinhat doesn't know who he is. Exactly.

[Matt McCusker]

But then he, like, actually reached out to Seinfeld to see if he could get Seinfeld to do these things. And literally when Seinfeld got the notice, same thing. What the. What the hell is Wally. And, like, Seinfeld's wife happened to know she was in the room. Like, oh, Wale. I love Wale. He's great. He actually uses clips from your show to do the thing. And if that didn't happen, Jerry would have said no. Jerry only said yes because his wife was like, oh, is it good? She's like, yeah, you should do it. And he did. But Jerry didn't know who the fuck he was.

[Shane Gillis]

Us. Damn.

[Dave Temple]

But Jerry's wife knows who he is.

[Shane Gillis]

It's surprising since she's. Yeah, it's interesting. Yeah. He's not. He didn't marry his young girlfriend, though, I don't think.

[Dave Temple]

Who.

[Shane Gillis]

Seinfeld came under fire.

[Dave Temple]

No. Yeah. No, they were just dating. Shoshana. Is that her name?

[Shane Gillis]

I just guessed. I like. I like Macron setup stuff where he is married to a woman like 20 years older than him or something.

[Dave Temple]

Do you see? She, like, choked him out?

[Shane Gillis]

Yeah, I saw it. I think they were around.

[Dave Temple]

Yeah.

[Shane Gillis]

You catch me getting the throat. My hands or hands to the throat all the time.

[Dave Temple]

He was live streaming the whole thing. Yeah, the comments are going nuts.

[Shane Gillis]

I saw it. Well, there's like a. For real. Did you, like. You ever hear about this, how they say the president of France's wife is a man? Yeah, there's like, a serious thing into that. But apparently she met him, allegedly, when he was, like, a schoolboy. She was, like, his teacher and, like, they got married and now he's the president of France.

[Dave Temple]

Damn.

[Shane Gillis]

Very frank.

[Matt McCusker]

She really. She very scattered.

[Shane Gillis]

Yeah, yeah. For real. Holy high for talent.

[Dave Temple]

He's, like, addressed it. I thought hadn't. Didn't he, like, talk about how it.

[Shane Gillis]

Was like he just went super French. He's like. Our love was like, no, no. But there's, like, Candace Owens, like, for real. There's, like, Court.

[Dave Temple]

She's mad about it.

[Shane Gillis]

She did, like, a full documentary. She thinks she's, like, convinced that the dude's wife is a man. Man.

[Matt McCusker]

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

[Shane Gillis]

Like, Went full in, like, requested. One of those things where it's like, they, like, gave her a deposition. Like, yo, you got to stop saying that. Because, like, I think the press in Europe works where, like, if you say something about someone, you have to prove it's true, but in the United States, you can allege anything kind of you want.

[Dave Temple]

Yeah.

[Shane Gillis]

And it's on them to prove it's not true.

[Matt McCusker]

Yeah.

[Shane Gillis]

So she sent a thing being. Or they sent a thing being like, you stop. And she was like, prove I'm wrong and I'll stop. And they're like, yeah, we're done. One.

[Matt McCusker]

Yeah.

[Dave Temple]

Damn.

[Shane Gillis]

Huh?

[Dave Temple]

Fifteen. They started dating.

[Shane Gillis]

They met in 1990 when Brigitte was teaching the drama club in. McCrone was 15 years old. Now they're married.

[Matt McCusker]

Yeah. They didn't start dating when he they met. Like, that was their first interaction. And that's up that they're trying to show it that way. You know what I mean? Like, yeah, you can meet somebody.

[Shane Gillis]

I think they are on record saying, we had a romance when I was at 15. Like, I think so. Maybe shortly after. I thought it was.

[Matt McCusker]

Well, you know what? Yeah, I guess it is possible. I'm talking about it as if my. Okay, so like, my mother in law, she had my wife when she was 15.

[Shane Gillis]

Okay.

[Matt McCusker]

And here's the crazy thing. I'm closer in age to my mother in law than I am to my wife. Yeah. So there's like, a weird dynamic of how we all hang out. Like, I'm nine years older than my wife, but seven years younger than my mother.

[Shane Gillis]

Whoa. Now, can I ask you, is your wife, like, healthy as a horse? I feel like you're healthier when you're.

[Matt McCusker]

Born poor like that. Yes, but, like. Yes, but there's, like, a lot of psychological stuff that happens where, like, I can't tell whether this is, like, from being poor or just being Latina.

[Shane Gillis]

Because I feel like that is, like, the ideal.

[Dave Temple]

Why is Candace so mad? Does she feel like she's being tricked?

[Shane Gillis]

She's just a journalist.

[Matt McCusker]

Like, I, I, I feel like Candace, she knows the game. She's just trolling all day long. I'm always like, I don't watch all of her shit, but when I do, I'm always looking for her to go.

[Shane Gillis]

Yeah. You know what I mean?

[Matt McCusker]

Like, all right, I got you.

[Shane Gillis]

Yeah, well, there's a guy, you remember the guy, Timothy Leary from Harvard who, like, did a bunch of acid and, like, got kicked out? Yeah. In, like, the 60s or whatever. He, like, came to the conclusion, like, dude, we should be having kids at like 16. The grandparent, your parents should be raising your kids. Then when you're. Your grandparents age, your kids should have kids when they're 16. He's like, it just makes the healthiest humans 16, 70.

[Dave Temple]

Yeah, it's probably true.

[Shane Gillis]

Maybe he said 18. I don't. Let me not put smart on his name.

[Dave Temple]

But he said 14, 15, 12 or something. Something like that.

[Shane Gillis]

But yeah, because, you know, because there's a thing, man, it's like autism's on like the rise. We don't. We're not producing the healthiest kids.

[Dave Temple]

Right. Because you think we're making old babies.

[Shane Gillis]

Old babies.

[Matt McCusker]

Yeah.

[Shane Gillis]

Softcom. Old babies.

[Matt McCusker]

Soft shell crabs.

[Shane Gillis]

So it might be something.

[Dave Temple]

You gotta like have 16 year olds just. And you know, just freeze their eggs and jizz.

[Shane Gillis]

Yeah.

[Dave Temple]

And just keep it, you know. True necklace. Break it when you're ready.

[Shane Gillis]

That's not bad.

[Dave Temple]

You know, it's got.

[Shane Gillis]

I think. I don't think kids have sex anymore even.

[Dave Temple]

No.

[Shane Gillis]

So I've heard it's like. Yeah, it's dropping off. It's not as it as like it was.

[Dave Temple]

They're all just jacking off and on the computer.

[Shane Gillis]

Yeah, they're working. Yeah, they're working on the computer. They're jacking off on the computer.

[Matt McCusker]

God bless them, man. I.

[Dave Temple]

It's tough.

[Shane Gillis]

Okay. Okay. A quick break from the show for a special segment called More or Less Finals Edition. And it's brought to you by prize, by picks. The finals are on and we're not just talking about basketball here, we're talking hockey too. Twice the chance for players to show what they've got and twice the chance for you to get in on the fun. Further prompts to riff. NBA finals basketball thoughts? Hot takes about who's going to win. Is Shy just a foul merchant? I'm wondering that he is a foul.

[E]

Merchant, but he's going to get buckets. I would take more every time on Shay.

[Dave Temple]

More.

[E]

More every time on Shay.

[Shane Gillis]

More on Shay. Yeah, every time more on Shay laboof. You just heard that. Good call. Stanley cup finals thoughts? Hot takes about who's going to win. Is it the Oilers year?

[Dave Temple]

Oilers are going to make a comeback. I believe it.

[Shane Gillis]

So you think Canada is going to take it finally? Last time they won, believe it or not, was 1993.

[Dave Temple]

I know, it's a long time ago. Canadians, 93. I want Edmonton to come back and win it. I think. I think dry Seidel and McDavid David are gonna turn it on.

[Shane Gillis]

I want Canada to lose Canada.

[Dave Temple]

Florida's in his. In the. In the catbird seat. I think they're up 2, 1.

[Shane Gillis]

Really?

[Dave Temple]

Yeah.

[Shane Gillis]

All right, we'll see.

[Dave Temple]

Yeah.

[Shane Gillis]

When were you conf. When were you way too confident about making a pick that fell apart?

[Dave Temple]

Spoilers to win the Cup?

[Shane Gillis]

Okay. Which team in the NBA Finals do you care more or could care less about Pacers?

[E]

Care more. Thundercare.

[Matt McCusker]

Less.

[E]

But they're both good.

[Shane Gillis]

You want the Pacers to win?

[E]

I think I want Pacers to win a little more. They're the underdog. Always going for the underdog.

[Shane Gillis]

Yeah, I kind of want the Pacers to win.

[Matt McCusker]

I want them to win, too, because I was just in that city and my God, they need it.

[Dave Temple]

God, they need a win and SGA in Oklahoma City.

[Shane Gillis]

Right?

[Dave Temple]

He's Canadian.

[Matt McCusker]

Yeah.

[Shane Gillis]

Canadian as well. They had a Canadian on their team.

[Dave Temple]

Yeah, he's like one of the best players in the league.

[Shane Gillis]

Is he really? Yeah, less. I'm mad. Canada won't let us buy their country.

[Dave Temple]

I know.

[Shane Gillis]

I'm pissed already. Yeah, Come on. Join the fucking fold, man.

[Dave Temple]

It would be kind of sick.

[Shane Gillis]

Owning Canada will be awesome.

[Dave Temple]

Can't we buy it from the British?

[Matt McCusker]

Wouldn't it. It would also if they were just one state and it's 51. Like, this settles that, like, election thing, right? Because it's like, now it's an odd number of states.

[Shane Gillis]

Wait, why does it matter how many states? I don't understand.

[Matt McCusker]

Because then it's not like an even divide of, like, 25 went this way, 25 went that way. It has to go one way because it's an even number.

[Shane Gillis]

I see what you're saying.

[Dave Temple]

So every state just gets one vote.

[Shane Gillis]

Canada would be hard day. Damn, too. They'd be.

[Dave Temple]

Yeah, probably.

[Shane Gillis]

They'd be pretty hard down. Yeah.

[Matt McCusker]

Yeah. Calgary is like. They're. They're like Texas and Calgary.

[Shane Gillis]

Yeah. Well, we'll. We'll have to see what ha. What happens, guys. Any particular players, teams, or matchups that you've enjoyed? Has anything surprised you? Do you have any predictions for the rest of the playoffs? I think we got into it. I think we. The Pacers.

[E]

Yeah, I think the. I mean, I don't actually. I think my prediction is the Thunder's going to win every single of the next game. I don't want to see that.

[Shane Gillis]

Yeah. Didn't the Thunder just lose recently?

[Matt McCusker]

Yeah, they.

[E]

They lost recently by like, one and like, a crazy loss. And then they blew him out the next game by, like 20.

[Matt McCusker]

Damn.

[Dave Temple]

Damn.

[Shane Gillis]

So let's get into it. How do Our hot takes fit into the prize picks lineups. Did I mention how easy this app is to use? Guys, please begin with your picks. I think we made them. We're going to go. You think the Thunder is going to win?

[E]

I think Thunder's going to win.

[Matt McCusker]

More.

[Shane Gillis]

More. More on certain players.

[E]

More on Shay. More on Halbert.

[Shane Gillis]

There we go.

[E]

More on. I would go less on Jalen. On Jalen. And less on chat. Oh, eight rebounds. More on chat.

[Dave Temple]

What do they got hockey wise over there?

[E]

I don't see it.

[Dave Temple]

Okay, don't have the data. I'm gonna go more on Matthias Yan. Mark.

[Shane Gillis]

There you go. Yeah, let's. Let's lock those two picks in, guys. So that's our take. Now it's time to lock in yours too. With prize picks. Win real money with your best takes, whether it's points, rebounds, assist list. Take your pick of more or less on their stat projection for your shot to win up to 2, 000 times your cash today. Prize picks is available in more than 30 states including California, Texas and Georgia. You can submit your picks in 60 seconds or less. It's so easy. We just did it. Download the app today and use code drench to get $50 instantly after you play your first five dollar lineup. That's code drench to get $50 instantly after YOU play your first five dollar lineup. Up prize picks. Run your game.

[Matt McCusker]

Yeah, I don't know, man. I. I wish I got into sex early. I. I wish I would have waited.

[Shane Gillis]

Wow. Early.

[Matt McCusker]

I lost my virginity at 14.

[Shane Gillis]

You're in the drama club, huh? You're in the drama club.

[Dave Temple]

What do you think waiting would have done?

[Matt McCusker]

I think even to this day, sex is still such a big, big priority. Like, yeah, it's like it's too much of a focal point. And I see other people who don't have it as bad as me and how much more stuff they get done. You're just like, yeah, and I'm so busy just trying to chase. Like, I was talking about that last night. I was laughing about how the other night I'm hanging at the. At the creek and there was like one girl there, one girl. And I stayed fully occupied and talked to this girl. The minute she left, I was like, all right, well, see you guys later. You know what I mean? Love the mayor, all those guys. I'm like, like, well, I guess there's no reason to hang out with you guys.

[Dave Temple]

Well, I got real sleepy all of a sudden. Yeah.

[Matt McCusker]

Yeah.

[Shane Gillis]

It feels pointless now. Yeah, I know. There really is no point. Well, if you're like not trying to have sex, there's really no point of going out. I try to tell my wife this. I'm like, why are we going out?

[Matt McCusker]

Right. But it's also bad with me on even interacting with women in general. Like if there's no potential of having sex, text, you'd be like, okay, what is the point of this conversation again? I'm not trying to be rude, but.

[Shane Gillis]

Like I can't even understand you anymore.

[Matt McCusker]

Where are we going? Are we gonna be friends? Like, what? I don't get it.

[Shane Gillis]

Yeah, I don't think you could do that. I, I genuinely think being like it's one thing to be friendly with a woman, but to be like, let's chill. I, I still to my. It's like, how, why would you do that?

[Matt McCusker]

Even because of the age proximity with my mother in law, I don't talk to her on the phone. I go through her husband forever, everything just because in my mind there's still that chance.

[Shane Gillis]

Yeah, for sure.

[Matt McCusker]

And it's probably all in my head. It's not real, but that's what I'm saying.

[Dave Temple]

Definitely all in your head.

[Matt McCusker]

Oh yeah. I can't afford her. Are you crazy? Like, no.

[Shane Gillis]

I suffer from the same thing.

[Dave Temple]

Call my mother in law, something like that.

[Shane Gillis]

Facetimer with your shirt off. You're like, you gotta stop doing it. I suffer from the same exact thing of like the, that small voice being like, is she trying to me? I think every time I'll get like an Uber eats slivery. I'm like, was she trying to me that?

[Matt McCusker]

Oh yeah, yeah. I used to go through that like as a kid, like, well, as a young adult going to see the doctor and like the nurse will say some like, okay, take your pants off and hop up on the table. And you're like, that is so funny, right? You trying to get it in real quick before the doctor comes. Like, what are we doing?

[Dave Temple]

It is so funny. Even when you're like 11 and you just think the nurse is going to walk in and be like, we've never seen a kid.

[Shane Gillis]

Yeah. Never in our lives.

[Dave Temple]

You are a specimen. I need you.

[Matt McCusker]

Dude.

[Shane Gillis]

When I was younger I, I assumed, I just assumed wrongly I had a huge dick. I didn't know. Yeah. And then, you know, obviously I eventually learned, came grips of reality. I did not. But I just assumed. I was just crushing it. It. Yeah. I became an adult and I was like, ah, all right. Yeah, definitely not. Definitely not. Standard issue for sure.

[Dave Temple]

I still catch it every Once in a while. And I go, that's. It's looking good today.

[Shane Gillis]

Yeah, the Austin heat is definitely on my side. But I. I've turned that leaf where I. Now I'm like, you know, hopefully it stays because I suffer from the same thing where it was just like. Especially in a relationship, I'm like, I'm counting the days. I'm like, we six in four days. And I start just being really unpleasant.

[Matt McCusker]

I'm saying, right.

[Shane Gillis]

I've turned a leaf now where I'm like. And it's kind of. I. Total reverse psychology. I think it's just a deeper ploy.

[Dave Temple]

Yeah.

[Shane Gillis]

But I've been hitting my wife with like, nah, man. I'm trying to retain. I'm trying to retain, like, maybe once a week, max. I even told her I was like, I'll just flip the script on you. But I. I have. We were laughing about this, but I have been done a thing where I'm just like, you let me know. I'm just gonna keep this to myself and just. I, like, I don't look at porn anymore. People are sick of hearing me talk about this. But it's like, Like, I just. I'm just not even. You know, it gets to the point after like a. Like a nine day kind of hold in, I'll start just getting like Terminator vision. I think my wife starts to pick up on it. Like, all right, dude, I'll crank you off.

[Matt McCusker]

She's paying attention to you, which she should. That's the thing that pisses me off sometimes when I see that in marriages where it's like a woman is hyper focused on the kids, she's hyperfocused even on the animals and their need. And it's like, hey, you're not noticing the guy walking around over here, chip on his shoulder?

[Shane Gillis]

You know, I'm breathing like Darth Vader.

[Matt McCusker]

My wife, she. Thank God she. And I hope she can keep this up. But, like, she's even gotten good at giving me sex before attending events that she knows I don't want to be at.

[Shane Gillis]

That's nice.

[Matt McCusker]

You know what I mean? So it's like, oh, your grandmother's 69th birthday party. All right, I'm gonna go. But, like, you know, she's like, don't worry, we'll have sex before you go. And then now I'm just here at the party. Relax. It's good to see you all. Yeah, yeah.

[Dave Temple]

That. I did have the opposite effect on me. If you me before the party, I'd be like, I'm not going to the party. There's no way I'm going to the party.

[Shane Gillis]

You need to care.

[Matt McCusker]

You need to care, right?

[Dave Temple]

I can't go to that party.

[Shane Gillis]

Yeah, yeah, that's actually.

[Matt McCusker]

But you got to do it before because women, they always somehow get tired or get headaches. Like, that's the interesting thing. I see now why women get so many headaches. Does your wife forget to eat a lot?

[Shane Gillis]

Yes.

[Matt McCusker]

Dumbest thing in the world where you're like, I forgot to eat today.

[Shane Gillis]

Infuriating.

[Matt McCusker]

Yeah.

[Shane Gillis]

It's absolutely inferior. And I'm like, all right. It's classic. Like, well, we have this in the fridge. I don't want that. It's like, then you're not hungry. Yes. You're not hungry. Eat a corporate. Eat a snack. Yeah, we have a bowl of fruit right there. Yeah, I'm not hungry for that.

[Dave Temple]

Lick the bag.

[Shane Gillis]

Yeah, that. It has been freeing though, just being like, look, I'll. I'll catch myself in that same feedback loop where I'm like, I should be having. And I'm just like, nah, man, just let it go. And it's like been very freeing.

[Dave Temple]

It's such a funny strategy to hold income until there's like a real threat of violence. I'm gonna hold this in.

[Shane Gillis]

It's unpleasantness.

[Matt McCusker]

So dangerous.

[Dave Temple]

She has to jack me off.

[Shane Gillis]

Dude.

[Matt McCusker]

After a while she just wakes up and finds him sitting on the foot of the bed.

[Shane Gillis]

Yeah.

[Matt McCusker]

5:30 in the morning, he's staring at the wall.

[Shane Gillis]

Yeah, dude. You start talking in like three word answers match like, yes, that'll be fine.

[Dave Temple]

It's like when, when pigs become like feral into the start, throw tusks and.

[Shane Gillis]

Like, dude, if I now if I wake up at like, like 5:30, I just, I'm like, it, I'm up. My day started before I would kind of linger around in bed, be like.

[Dave Temple]

See if she's awake.

[Shane Gillis]

And now I just pop right up. And that's another one. They're like, lay back down. You're like, for what?

[Dave Temple]

Yeah, oh yeah.

[Shane Gillis]

If we're not doing anything, I'm going.

[Matt McCusker]

Yeah, that, that is the, that that is fascinating. That lay around in bed letting the morning go because you're hoping that she'll wake up at some point and just be in the mood.

[Shane Gillis]

That's my prime time. She's. Yeah, it's a morning. She's a morning gal. So it's like nighttime. She shattered. She's like going to bed. Morning is like, you know, when I can really get her going.

[Dave Temple]

Right, Right.

[Shane Gillis]

But Yeah. Now I just get up and I go.

[Dave Temple]

Before the devil knows you're dead.

[Shane Gillis]

I get up and go, you awake? She's like, no. Well, bye.

[Matt McCusker]

Morning though is also dangerous because it's easy to stop dating if you're getting it in the morning because you don't have to get dressed up for that. You don't have to. You know what I mean? And even that brush your teeth. Yeah. It's just like. And then you're not gonna get dressed afterwards. Like, I've already achieved, achieved everything in life that I wanted today at 6:30 in the morning.

[Shane Gillis]

Yeah. I'm done.

[Matt McCusker]

There's no reason to do anything else. Yeah. But I don't even need to go to work. I already got late.

[Shane Gillis]

Yeah, I'm done. That will, I feel like that will say for me. It would. I'm. I'm bad. I'm trying to get better with this with like married dates. Like we haven't been on a date in a while. It's like, we're done dating. We, we're done with that.

[Matt McCusker]

Yeah.

[Shane Gillis]

And I'm like. And I'm, I just, me being autistic, I'm like, I need to get in my office and write.

[Matt McCusker]

Yeah.

[Shane Gillis]

And the minute you should go out.

[Matt McCusker]

The minute you try to, to reintroduce it, you don't even like, you don't even like it anymore because it's like as older, especially as married couple trying to date. It's like, then we have to deal with like parking. It's just like so many reasons to not do it once you stop doing it.

[Shane Gillis]

Yeah.

[Dave Temple]

Yeah.

[Shane Gillis]

So yeah. There's not, there's only reservations. 8:00pm I'm like, I'm done. I can't do that. Let's do a 5:30 dinner, come back, let the babysitter off.

[Dave Temple]

It's also, yeah. I don't know, going out to dinner. I don't like being in a room with other people. Like out to dinner.

[Shane Gillis]

Like a restaurant. Yeah. You know what I mean? Yeah, that's, that's like the worst. I've gone out on Valentine's Day with her like a few years ago. And it's just like couples that have just met, like pulling the chair out for each other and I'm like, relax, take it easy, Take it easy, dude. Take it easy.

[Matt McCusker]

Right? You're not better than me.

[Dave Temple]

Yeah. It's the word. You're sitting at the bar because you didn't make a reservation in time. Yeah, everyone's. Everyone else is at an actual table.

[Shane Gillis]

Yeah. I up this year I totally put it off the last minute and try to do a last minute thing. I'm like, there's like a food hall. We can go to many different options.

[Dave Temple]

Cafeteria.

[Shane Gillis]

Yeah. I'm trying to get better with the day.

[Matt McCusker]

So I gotta get Valentine's Day. I don't think Terry Blacks will be packed.

[Shane Gillis]

Many options. Pretty cool. It's a mall food court. You go shopping afterwards. Oh, yeah. I'm trying to get. I'm trying to get much better with that.

[Dave Temple]

Well, it's also the dates feel. I don't know. Dates feel unnatural. You know what I mean?

[Matt McCusker]

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

[Shane Gillis]

They really feel weird because you've talked. I've like, I've talked to you all day.

[Matt McCusker]

Well, yeah, that's the other thing, I think. Dates. You're. You're being fake on a date. And now if you're married, you're real, so it's like. I'm not turning on the fake thing.

[Shane Gillis]

Yeah.

[Matt McCusker]

Like, what are we gonna do? You know?

[Shane Gillis]

Yeah, exactly like. Yeah. I come from a big family. What else? Yeah, you're just. It's just us. Talk about our kids.

[Matt McCusker]

Right, right.

[Shane Gillis]

Both being like, I'm so tired.

[Matt McCusker]

Yeah.

[Shane Gillis]

And we have like two drinks and eat dinner and we're like, let's get the out of here.

[Matt McCusker]

Yeah.

[Dave Temple]

Yeah.

[Shane Gillis]

But I'm taking her out for a birthday this weekend. Nice.

[Dave Temple]

That'd be nice.

[Shane Gillis]

Yeah.

[Dave Temple]

What do you. Anything.

[Shane Gillis]

We're going to Napa.

[Dave Temple]

Really?

[Shane Gillis]

Yeah.

[Dave Temple]

Damn. Yeah, that's fun.

[Shane Gillis]

It'll be cool.

[Dave Temple]

You know, let's go. Get up.

[Shane Gillis]

Yeah. Get hammered.

[Dave Temple]

Fight.

[Shane Gillis]

It's in the cards. It's in the cards. Cards.

[Dave Temple]

It's just two beers is all it takes to just rip the veneer off.

[Shane Gillis]

Yeah. We're fighting. We'll be in the back of like one of those little party vans. Just be like, what's the. No idea. Why did I do this? Why the did you say that? Yeah, please. Yeah, it'll be. It'll be.

[Dave Temple]

Yeah. Starts coming up from years or weeks ago, or it goes the other way.

[Shane Gillis]

Or it's just like totally lovey dovey. It can go either way. When the alcohol kicks in, that's when if you're like nine, 10 days deep, it comes out. You're like, don't even touch me anymore. I saw this thing online. The guy said, you're not giving me blow jobs. You think I'm a beta and you hate me secretly. And you've secretly been, what's it called? Lily pad hopping. You're just lily pad hoping to get through a high target alpha male.

[Dave Temple]

It is funny. It is funny in their minds that it's like a girl does want to suck a dick.

[Shane Gillis]

That's what they're saying at all times. Yeah, obviously.

[Dave Temple]

So if they're not sucking your dick, they're thinking about another dick to suck, is their logic.

[Shane Gillis]

Yeah, I, yeah, I mean, or what I think they could be like, there's.

[Dave Temple]

No way they could just be living their lives.

[Shane Gillis]

Yeah, yeah. There's no way they can just be content and be like, thank God I don't have to suck a guy's dick anymore.

[Matt McCusker]

Right, Right.

[Shane Gillis]

I'm on the account. I'm on the mortgage. I don't have to suck a guy's dick anymore. This is heavy heaven. Yeah, I'm like for real trying to work my way into like kind of asexuality. Yeah, I heard you talking about this. I saw a clip. Would you say into what asexuals?

[Matt McCusker]

When it's just like being non. Yeah, yeah.

[Shane Gillis]

I mean it'll never happen because it's like, I will still. I'm still a red blooded guy. Like it builds up quick in me.

[Matt McCusker]

That's why I wonder what it was to be like to be like one of those eunuchs back in the day.

[Shane Gillis]

So sick.

[Matt McCusker]

Like we're like a, you know, like a king would just like castrate a dude and it'd be like, all right, now you stay and hang out with my wife and keep her company while I'm on the road conquering.

[Dave Temple]

That would suck. It's the choice. Being able to like the, the, the total denial of sexual desire does seem like it's like a. The ultimate power.

[Shane Gillis]

So clear. That's why they were like the advisors. Like they were like the most trusted advisor. You'd be like, bro, hit me with like a clear. Yeah, like, dude, you're just trying to. The princess of Siberia. And you're like, you're right, you're right. I don't have to go invade that place. You're right.

[Matt McCusker]

I live in a state of total poetry post nut clarities.

[Shane Gillis]

It's literally no nut clarity. Complete. Just like, you know what, is that really necessary? Like, yeah, I'm just spinning out, dude. I'm gonna go. It's like every time they're probably like, you're sire. I think you should just go rub one out. I think you'll feel that you call.

[Dave Temple]

So funny a guy being like, guys are nuts. It's like, well, maybe we should hire a woman adviser. Get a guy cut his dick Off. That's what we need.

[Matt McCusker]

Yeah.

[Shane Gillis]

Maybe we shall consult with the duchess. It's like, dude, relax, relax. We'll figure this out. That and I think they were, that was like an esteemed position. So if you were like, if you just got conquered, you know, and they like cut your dick off, dudes would be like lucky. You were just headed to be like a galley slave. You're like, dude, for real. Cut my dick off?

[Matt McCusker]

Just.

[Dave Temple]

Yeah.

[Shane Gillis]

The bottom of a boat for your whole life. Just.

[Matt McCusker]

Yeah.

[Dave Temple]

Just rowing.

[Matt McCusker]

It's the way you come in and show your loyalty, sir. I'm here to serve you forever.

[Dave Temple]

I wonder if you get phantom just tucked phantom boners, you know, like, like phantom limb syndrome.

[Matt McCusker]

Yeah, yeah. Or like they at least dream that they still have it.

[Shane Gillis]

I feel like at that point your nipples would just get really hard. Your nipples just stick out. But I don't think you'd even really pretend like you wouldn't have a lot of testosterone, I don't think at that point. Point.

[Dave Temple]

I don't know. But it's. You still got to be. I don't know.

[Shane Gillis]

Right.

[Dave Temple]

You still got to be able to feel it. In a dream situation, you could woke, you know, you could have like a man having a wet dream with no, you know.

[Shane Gillis]

Have you ever seen your dick in a dream? No, I don't think I ever have. It's crazy.

[Matt McCusker]

Which is weird too because remember as a kid you would have like those.

[Dave Temple]

Like other people have seen my dick in a dream.

[Matt McCusker]

Like. Yeah, I have this one where like my whole element elementary school points and laughs stage.

[Shane Gillis]

So yeah, I've never seen my dick in a dream. They say you don't see cell phones in dreams. Typically it's very rare to see a cell phone in a dream.

[Matt McCusker]

Yeah, yeah, I've just started dreaming again. I think it's because I've. I've reduced my weed intake and man, he's. I've been having nightmares, like full on nightmares.

[Shane Gillis]

Comes back hard.

[Matt McCusker]

Yeah, yeah, man.

[Dave Temple]

But yeah, I had that. I went through a run of that. I want to. Went on like a three day bender watching baseball games. And then I came back and I like like six, six nights in a row had every dream. You could have teeth falling out, falling off a cliff, naked, stuck in a wedge. Naked, stuck in a wedge.

[Shane Gillis]

Sucks. Yeah, I've done stuck in a wedge where it's almost like a lucid dream and it like I'm like trapped under a staircase being like, dude, get me the out of here.

[Dave Temple]

Yeah, yeah, it sucks. Covered in Bees. It was covered in bees.

[Shane Gillis]

You're just waking up and watching the Phillies again the next day.

[Dave Temple]

Dude, it was so sad.

[Shane Gillis]

What's a three day baseball bender? Like, that sounds kind of nice.

[Dave Temple]

It was awesome. My. My lady accidentally bought tickets to the entire like college baseball regional final. And so there.

[Shane Gillis]

Oh, this was live.

[Dave Temple]

Yeah, yeah. So we, and we. I live right next to the bab baseball stadium. So we would just wake up, walk over the baseball stadium, start drinking, watching like Houston Christian vs University of Texas San Antonio.

[Shane Gillis]

I thought you're in front of the tube. What? I thought you're in front of the tube. I thought you're going like full pop up mode. I'm like, that's powerful.

[Dave Temple]

No, we were going to the game, just getting hammered.

[Shane Gillis]

That's fun. Yeah, it was great. I like that.

[Dave Temple]

But then, you know, the dreams afterwards, normally I get. I'll get crazy dreams, but this was just like straight out of the text message book.

[Shane Gillis]

Yeah. Teeth falling out's. I get teeth falling out. Jumping and floating. That's a good cool one I get every now and again where I can jump and like hover in the air. Yeah. Or just somehow like jump and then like fly. Like I'm like a plastic bag. I get those a lot where I can jump and it's kind of like. And it's. I'm like showing everyone like dudes, I can. I knew I could do this.

[Dave Temple]

That's crazy.

[Shane Gillis]

Fly around.

[Dave Temple]

I feel like flying is the hardest thing to do in a dream.

[Shane Gillis]

I fly. I do. I. I get like, not like pure flight, but I can jump and I can learn. I can, I can like float my body.

[Matt McCusker]

Yeah.

[Shane Gillis]

Over buildings and come back down. It's like really realistic. I'm like, I'm coming down hard and I'm able to like. It's pretty cool.

[Dave Temple]

It does feel like a measure of your confidence maybe. You know what I mean? Like somewhere in your brain you're still going. There's no way I could actually fly. But I, I'll sail along like a bag. It's like I am doing it.

[Shane Gillis]

Just my brain telling me I'm just drifting pointlessly through life.

[Dave Temple]

Yeah, I've done, I've had those because I can never. I've never flown in a dream ever. But I've tried. I. I do the same. I jump super high, but then I just come back down. Then I wake up and I'm like, I was dreaming I couldn't fly.

[Shane Gillis]

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

[Dave Temple]

The dude.

[Shane Gillis]

Time. Time for the time for the clean Raiders to play. We had a hour. All right, let's. Let's stop and slide in the Patreon.

[Matt McCusker]

All right, word it.