Matt and Shane's Secret Podcast

Episode 573: Angry Jets

Airdate: August 21, 2025
Hosts: Matt McCusker & Shane Gillis
Guests: Sean Gardini, O'Brien, Beezer, others

Episode Overview

The "Angry Jets" episode is a quintessential Matt and Shane outing: freewheeling, unpredictable, riff-laden, and anchored in the rhythms of real-life stories and offbeat insights. The guys swap tales from the road and home, nerd out over video games, debate domestic travails, dish out takes on masculinity, parenting, and society, and of course, break into hilarious tangents about current events, pop culture, and their own upbringing. High-energy banter alternates with moments of unexpected profundity and classic one-liners, all while keeping things distinctly "Matt and Shane."

Key Discussion Points & Insights

1. Matt's Beach Race & Bro Solidarity

Timestamps: 00:00-01:41; 35:55–39:34

• Sean Gardini opens by announcing to audio listeners that he’s playing footage from Matt’s sand race against his cousin Hoss at the Jersey Shore. Matt eked out a win, finishing a mile in the sand at 7:30, with Hoss right behind (00:13).
• Matt describes in detail the physical challenge and mental mind games involved in the race, emphasizing the toll of running in soft sand and the flex of carrying his daughter Chloe across the finish (35:55–37:20).
  • Matt: "It was the hardest kind of race I've ever done... just running in sand." (37:58)
  • Shane: "The flex of a guy holding his child crossing the finish line..." (37:04)
• Afterward, Matt and Shane riff on the psycho-competitive spirit present even in friendly family events and acknowledge the weird looks they got from bystanders witnessing two grown men hammering through the sand.

2. Console Wars & PlayStation vs. Xbox

Timestamps: 01:42–06:47

• The crew react to the supposed "end of the console war," joking about "the black nerds" breaking the story (01:42).
  • Shane: "Dude. The console war is over. The black nerds have broken the story." (01:42)
• They banter about whether Halo (Xbox) and Spider-Man (PlayStation) crossover means a true truce and debate which franchise “won” the cultural battle.
• Spider-Man game mechanics get compared with GTA, with Beezer and O’Brien selling the thrill of swinging through the city.
• The group reflects on stoned bro video game sessions, dynasty modes, and a dinosaur game that Matt enthusiastically introduces.
  • Matt: "Just laying up at like 2 in the morning, just being a baby dinosaur and trying to get bigger is... it's a dream." (04:30)

3. Nostalgic Gaming & Cartoons

Timestamps: 05:10-07:06

• Quick references to childhood games (Toe Jam & Earl, Battletoads), musings on their racial undertones, and speculation about Mario ever crossing to non-Nintendo platforms.
• Loving reminiscences about the original Mario movie—Matt sheepishly confesses to getting sucked into watching the whole film without sound because a stranger on his flight was watching it (05:55).
  • Matt: “I watched no sound Mario movie for a whole flight. It’s like, yo, this is sick." (05:55)

4. Soapbox Races, Power Wheels, and Dad Life

Timestamps: 09:23–12:58

• The crew dive into the world of Red Bull Soapbox Races, Barbie/Power Wheels downhill races, and the risks/fun of these homemade competitions.
• Matt and Shane swap stories about their kids’ power wheel "driving" escapades and joke about remote controlling their kids’ rides to simulate real-life Mario Kart:
  • Shane: “You can just sit in the lawn chair, have a couple drinks, race kids... We can Mario Kart with actual kids.” (12:31-12:45)

5. Ad Reads & Real Talk on Wipes & Caffeine

Timestamps: 12:50–16:44

• The hosts deliver comical, irreverent ad reads for Dude Wipes and Shopify, riffing on the language of marketing copy and using it as a springboard for more stories about "blistered" road-trip butts and proper hygiene.
• Conversation shifts to Matt’s newfound obsession with monitoring his caffeine (inspired by a misread Huberman post), which leads to admissions about anxiety spirals, cortisol spikes, and chasing that productive “protocol” feeling.
  • Matt: "I saw like the thumbnail of a Huberman video where he's like, you want to skyrocket your cortisol?...So I was like, he's right. I should drink as much coffee as I can." (14:44)

6. Relationships, “Angry Jets,” and Domestic Comedy

Timestamps: 16:24–20:04

• The group explores couple dynamics: Matt describes his wife’s “Angry Jets” walk when mad at him (running ahead out of frustration), which gives the episode its title.
  • Shane: "Angry jets is crazy." (17:47)
  • Matt: "Angry Jets is so funny." (17:48)
• They all share strategies (deliberately slowing down, pretending not to notice), and the hilarious emotional choreography of “showing face” in public after a fight.
• The familiar scenario of partners being sweet to strangers or on the phone after a fight is lampooned:
  • Shane: "When you're fighting and they get a phone call, they're like, hey!... Where's that energy towards me?" (19:58)

7. Road Stories: Sharing Hotel Rooms & Blue-Collar Upbringings

Timestamps: 21:12–24:51

• Gags about the awkwardness of grown men sharing hotel rooms on the road for comedy, including whispered “good nights,” pillow-throwing, and “head-to-toe” twin bed negotiations.
• Matt shares tales of his father’s frugal work trips with motley crews in cheap motels, “walks of hell,” and steak-and-ice-cream benders.
  • Matt: "It's hell... It's being like 27, sharing a shitty way. Walking through sucks." (23:48)
• Laughs about snoring, diet, and generational male bonding through food, heart problems, and recovery are rampant.

8. Amber Alerts, Family Court, and "Bump" Comedy

Timestamps: 25:15–29:47

• The random interjection of an Amber Alert sparks a tangent on custody battles, family court, deadbeat dads, cocaine tests, and the cyclical nature of “bump city” (cocaine use).
  • Shane: "Let the boy have a bump. Can't even see his kid, dude. Obviously, he's going to do a bump." (27:57)
• Ultimately, they riff on the idea of "meth up the deadbeat fathers" to get them working again—a mix of sharp social commentary and absurdist humor.

9. Performing, Motivation, and Old Rock Star Tales

Timestamps: 31:31–44:56

• After a round of ads and plugs, Matt relates his inspiration from a John Martyn documentary: a tale of burnout, rebellion, and whiskey-and-egg-fueled decline.
  • Matt: "Give me a freak whiskey and eggs." (44:04)
• The group reflects on the mythos of “doing it your own way” in the arts and life, appreciating a wrecked-but-free spirit.
• Sidenotes about Phil Collins, shambolic live shows, Irish pubs, and the value of camaraderie surface.

10. Parenting, Weird Kids & Education

Timestamps: 60:50-63:59

• The hosts react to contemporary parenting advice suggesting “making your kids not weird.” Unabashedly, they celebrate weirdness, riffing on childhood nerd archetypes and lamenting dumb/mean nerds.
  • Matt: "It is weird. They're coming out... you need to make them not weird. It's your responsibility... they're all weird as hell." (61:24)
• They swap stories of being model students, academic falls from grace, and the futility of spelling “diarrhea.”

11. Discipline & "Old School" Parenting

Timestamps: 65:07–69:07

• Reminiscences about disciplinary measures from their dads (the belt, being yelled at for drinking, or getting suspended) morph into darkly funny stories about teenage bravado and attempts to "step" to their fathers.
  • Shane: "By the time I got in high school, it wasn't [violent]... I was like, six-three by then." (67:29)
• They reflect on the hard realities and absurdities of blue-collar family life, physical discipline, and changing generational norms.

12. Domestic Violence Dynamics & Law Enforcement

Timestamps: 69:10–76:45

• Extended, unflinching conversation about domestic violence, police interventions, the (dis)advantages men and women have in these encounters, and the complications for people with limited conflict resolution models.
  • Matt: "I constantly marvel at how hard the wheels can come off in a home life. And it's not that hard, dude." (71:11)
• They suggest (tongue-in-cheek) legalizing "bouncer protocol" for conflict removal, and joke about panic rooms and safe spaces during couple fights.

13. Cops, Firefighters, and the Joy of Physical Competition

Timestamps: 76:46–78:19

• The hosts fantasize about community events where civilians outrun cops in full gear or organize flag football games between police and firefighters.
  • Matt: "I still want to do a community day... cops try to catch you with all their gear on... That would be so fun." (77:35)

14. Commercials, Acting, and the "Trader" Bit

Timestamps: 78:26–79:23

• Shane responds to criticism for wearing Texas gear in a Bud Light commercial ("Christoph Waltz is not actually a Nazi. Sometimes actors take on roles, dude." - 78:34)
• They riff on actors—Matt Damon "sucking a guy's dick" in a movie, gay stunt doubles, and the performative nature of the craft.

15. Film Recommendations & Creative Ambitions

Timestamps: 80:06–81:59

• Shane and Matt discuss the works of Ari Aster; recommend the film “Eddington” and student film "What's Up With the Johnsons."
• Matt expresses interest in writing and directing a short film, speculates on cost ("Probably 40 GS." - O'Brien at 81:33), and pledges to watch recommended films on his upcoming flight.

16. War, Technology, and the Changing Face of Conflict

Timestamps: 51:30–59:34

• Brief but sobering analysis of a documentary about a cameraman in Iraq, the ethics of war footage, and the grim realities of combat (David Pearl, night vision, drone warfare).
• The hosts reflect on technological escalation in war (drones, fishing line for drone defense) vs. old-school trench combat, and how odd it is that the basics of violence never change.
  • Shane: "Ukraine, Russia is trench warfare. Just with shitty, like, Walmart drones." (56:31)

Notable Quotes & Memorable Moments

• "Angry jets is crazy." – Shane (17:47)
• "The flex of a guy holding his child crossing the finish line..." – Shane (37:04)
• "Let the boy have a bump. Can't even see his kid, dude. Obviously, he's going to do a bump." – Shane (27:57)
• "Give me a freak whiskey and eggs." – Matt (44:04)
• "If you're in an office not doing meth, what are you doing?" – Shane (29:47)
• "Matthew Damon, like, sucked a guy's dick in a movie." – Matt (79:20)
• "You guys want to hear Trump impression? Give me another Guinness. I'll do a trump impression." – Shane (45:00)
• “I still want to do a community day where like you can have cops try to catch you... That would be so fun.” – Matt (77:35)

For New Listeners

This episode gives a perfect taste of the show's strengths:

• Unfiltered, quick-witted, and semi-chaotic comedic energy between Matt, Shane, and friends.
• Honest, often crude, explorations of the pitfalls and hilarity of domestic, blue-collar, and creative life.
• Smart, left-field takes on pop culture, masculinity, war, and the absurdities of adulthood.
• A mix of running jokes ("Angry Jets," "bump city," butthole horror), genuine life wisdom, and the warm weirdness of lifelong friendship.

Skip to the following for highlights:

• Sand race story: 00:00–01:41, 35:55–39:34
• Console wars & gaming: 01:42–06:47
• “Angry Jets” relationship bit: 16:24–20:04
• Blue-collar dad stories: 21:12–24:51
• Parenting and weird kids: 60:50–63:59
• Hotel/road stories: 21:12–24:51
• War and documentaries: 51:30–59:34
• Film & TV recs: 80:06–81:59

Tone & Style

Raunchy, self-deprecating, and brotherly—Matt and Shane mix sharp observational humor with real affection for their families, fans, and each other. The language is direct, the mood swings are rapid, and the result is a uniquely funny, strangely comforting slice of modern American dudehood.

Closing Thoughts

“Angry Jets” is both a joke about romantic frustration and a metaphor for the furious irrepressibility of life itself: messy, fast, sometimes combative, always moving. The episode pulls listeners into that wild sprint—breathless and laughing, keeping pace.