Ep 575 - Black Seed Fart Max (feat. Nate Marshall & Egan Robinson)

Summary

Matt and Shane's Secret Podcast: Ep 575 – "Black Seed Fart Max" (feat. Nate Marshall & Egan Robinson)

Date: September 4, 2025
Hosts: Matt McCusker & Shane Gillis
Guests: Nate Marshall & Egan Robinson

---

Episode Overview

This episode starts off strong with hilarious banter about trendy health supplements and quickly morphs into a fast-paced, 90-minute romp through a range of topics: supplement fads in different cultures, sexual misadventures, the social dynamics of Bible study, church culture, race and conservative values, Japan's wild nightlife, dream burger gifting, horny movies and weird TV, and a vivid account of a night out at an Oasis concert while tripping on acid. As always, the crew keeps things irreverent, personal, and supremely funny, riffing off guest stories, memes, and their own lived chaos.

---

Key Discussion Points & Insights

1. Culture Wars in Supplements, Sex, and Boner Science (00:00–04:00)

• The hosts and guests joke about the popularity of health supplements like CMOS and black seed oil, and how these trends differ across cultures—particularly within Black and Caribbean communities. It's not long before the talk turns raunchy, involving anecdotes about applying black seed oil in creative ways.
  • Notable Quote [00:44, Josh]:

    "Black dudes are sneakily on the forefront of the hardest boners possible."

• Matt recounts his attempt at using supplements with mixed results and the dangers of a “meat breakout.”
• The conversation takes a personal turn as Matt tells a story about giving himself blue balls trying to “rizzle up” his girlfriend throughout the day.

2. Gut Health, Alcohol Regret & Comedy Recap (04:00–06:00)

• Josh admits to vomiting from too much Irish whiskey and describes the physical pitfalls of hard-partying comedians.
• There’s some storytelling about the previous night’s Noctis show in Austin, which was a “who's who” of the local comedy scene.

3. Bible Study: Sexiness and Awkwardness in Equal Measure (06:00–10:00)

• Eugene shares his experience at a Bible study, noting the instinctual “boys on one side, girls on the other” split.
  • Notable Quote [06:18, Eugene]:

    "It's like a high school dance... Not even, it's like a middle school dance."

• Josh muses about wanting to join a Bible club for “chat vibes.”
• Matt admits all he can think about is the sexual tension of modestly-dressed women at Bible study:
  • Notable Quote [07:07, Matt]:

    "I'm imagining them dressed very modest, and for some reason in that setting that's so sexy..."

4. Modern Masculinity & Relationship Dynamics (12:00–14:00)

• Conversation swerves into relationships: Matt talks about trying to cultivate more "hoe vibes" at home, buying “dumb ho stuff” to spice things up.
• Josh riffs about how married life and Bible study can coexist with freaky behavior at home, proposing they complement each other:
  • Notable Quote [12:28, Josh]:

    "When you're married, it helps if your babe's on the bibe because the vibe's in your favor. If you get vibe with you and your babe, vibe's got your back all the way."

5. Church Culture—Black, White, Mexican, and All in Between (14:30–17:00)

• The hosts and guests riff on varietals of American Christianity—Black church, White church, Mexican Catholic Mass—and the social dynamics in each.
  • Notable Quote [14:38, Matt]:

    "Honestly, I think I'm going full Mexican church."

  • [15:18, Eugene]:

    "It's pretty fun to be like the one white guy in the Spanish Mass. They're like, you're one of the good ones."

• Linguistic humor ensues about translating “The Lord” to “Señor” or “caballero” in Spanish Mass.

6. Race, Conservatism, and Stereotyping (17:20–20:00)

• The pod veers into spicy territory around race and “conservatism,” with guests poking fun at Black conservatism and joking about how, socially, Black people can be “more conservative” and even “more racist” than they typically let on.
  • [17:56, Josh]:

    "Black people are conservative. I swear to God, like every black person you talk to one on one hits very conserv of talking points for the most part."

• Matt reminisces about the days of unfiltered race-based humor and how Asian hate has shifted in public perception since 2020.

7. Japan: Sex, Burgers, and Escaping Temptation (22:10–26:00)

• Egan provides a look inside Japanese nightlife: red light districts, unusual sex industry oddities (panty vending machines, cuddle cafes, “titty milk bars”) vs. real intimacy.
  • [22:55, Matt]:

    "Titty milk bars."

  • [23:05, Eugene]:

    "It's just this artificial thing that doesn't feel enjoyable..."

• Egan retells narrowly fleeing from Japan’s second-largest red light district, ending the night by buying cheeseburgers at a white-dude-run "US Burger" and gifting them to the hotel concierges.
  • [25:12, Eugene]:

    "It was really good. And I brought back cheeseburgers for the two concierge ladies..."

8. Porn, No-Fap, and Cultural Cheating Loopholes (27:13–29:00)

• Egan is pressed about “no-fap” discipline and discusses Japan’s lax attitudes toward infidelity, with convenience stores even selling supplies to help men conceal cheating.
  • [29:04, Eugene]:

    "They sell like the base level, like undergarments and stuff you need. So, like, when dudes go cheat on their wives, they can just change into it."

9. Psychedelic Night Out: The Oasis Concert Experience (58:12–71:00)

• Josh details a wild trip to an Oasis concert at Soldier Field:
  • Consuming espresso martinis, tequila, acid, and smuggling a bottle onto the floor
  • Distributes tequila to strangers, describes his newfound love for Oasis while tripping.
  • Going on "water quests" throughout the stadium, making new friends in line, and the hard reality of facing a caffeine comedown + LSD afterglow alone in a hotel room.
• Deeper reflections on the aftereffects: trouble sleeping, looping thoughts, and seeking comfort in Bible gospel audiobooks.
  • [63:00, Josh]:

    "It was so sick. It might be the best ever, honestly. But, dude, my feet were like soaking wet, and I was like, I don't know if this is just, like, a feeling I'm getting."

  • [69:03, Josh]:

    "I just want to get back into the natural rhythm of the day. That’s all I want. Just get me back into God’s natural rhythm, please, dude."

10. Profound Acid Emails and Psychedelic Wisdom

- Josh wrote himself “world-changing” emails about not “speeding” through life (that seemed less revelatory the next day).
- **[74:55, Josh]:**
  > "Your nervous system is your responsibility, is your vehicle for making it through life. Please don't speed."
- Shane won't read them during "Wonderwall."

11. True Crime, Documentaries, and TV/Movie Tangents (33:29–57:40)

• Matt gives a detailed play-by-play on a Jussie Smollett documentary. They tear into Jussie’s defense narrative (and wardrobe), raise suspicions about the “steroid from Nigeria” lie, and mock the grandiosity and confusion of the case’s media narrative.
• Discussion of freaky movies, notably “The Assessment,” touching on themes of sexual tension with an “adult pretending to be a child” (played by a hot actress), making everyone uncomfortable.
  • [52:57, Matt]:

    "There's been all this, like, underlying sexual tension with the lady pretending to be a baby."

---

Notable Quotes & Memorable Moments

• [00:44, Josh]: "Black dudes are sneakily on the forefront of the hardest boners possible. It’s crazy."
• [07:07, Matt]: "I'm imagining them dressed very modest, and for some reason in that setting that’s so sexy..."
• [12:28, Josh]: "When you’re married, it helps if your babe’s on the bibe because the vibe’s in your favor."
• [17:56, Josh]: "Black people are conservative. I swear to God, like every black person you talk to one on one hits very conserv of talking points for the most part."
• [22:55, Matt]/[23:05, Eugene]:
  • "Titty milk bars."
  • "It’s just this artificial thing that doesn’t feel enjoyable..."
• [25:12, Eugene]: "It was really good. And I brought back cheeseburgers for the two concierge ladies..."
• [29:04, Eugene]: Describes the Japanese cheating toolkit: “They sell like the base level, like undergarments and stuff you need. So, like, when dudes go cheat on their wives, they can just change into it. And they... have scentless shampoos and stuff...”
• [63:00, Josh]: "...might be the best ever, honestly. But, dude, my feet were like soaking wet, and I was like, I don’t know if this is just, like, a feeling I'm getting."
• [74:55, Josh]: "Your nervous system is your responsibility, is your vehicle for making it through life. Please don’t speed."

---

Timestamps for Important Segments

• 00:00–04:00 – Supplements & Cross-cultural boner science; Comic blue ball mishaps
• 06:26–09:48 – Bible study social dynamics, sexy modesty & “the enemy talking”
• 12:00–14:00 – Relationships: “Ho-fying” your partner, church as married guy hack
• 17:20–20:09 – Black conservatism, race humor then vs now, Asian country stereotypes
• 22:10–26:12 – Japan nightlife, red light districts, gifting burgers to concierges
• 27:13–29:31 – No-fap, Japanese cheating industry, scentless shampoo for affairs
• 33:29–43:53 – Deep dive: Jussie Smollett documentary, wild defense claims
• 52:00–57:00 – “The Assessment” movie: “Pretend child” assessment scene madness
• 58:12–71:00 – The Oasis trip: Acid, tequila, philosophical “emails,” battling come-down
• 74:55 – Josh’s “nervous system” acid-wisdom email

---

Tone, Style & Takeaways

Chaos reigns, but it's always self-aware and good-natured. Matt, Shane, and their guests tear through taboo topics, veering from profundity to filth and from sincere self-reflection (on faith, on anxiety, on cheating) to pure absurdity (panty machines, child-assessment movies, ball pain mishaps). The conversational style is loose, profane, and packed with in-jokes and personal stories, perfect for listeners who appreciate unfiltered humor—especially when it’s veined with surprising honesty.

---

Guest Plugs

• Matt: Optimum Noctis show on September 16; Atlanta Helium October 23rd
• Egan: Dallas Comedy Club, October 26th; @Eganism on Instagram

---

Summary:
A quintessential episode: rowdy, R-rated, and oddly wholesome in its explorations of masculinity, temptation, and seeking meaning—whether through church, comedy, supplements, or psychedelics. “Black Seed Fart Max” is a showcase of what makes Matt and Shane’s Secret Podcast the “funniest podcast out there”: no-holds-barred banter, endlessly quotable moments, and just enough strange honesty to keep it real.

Transcript

[Matt]

Wild Wild West.

[Josh]

And we're live. We're just talking about black supplements. CMOS is the biggest.

[Matt]

CMOS is.

[Josh]

Black ladies love CMOs.

[Matt]

CMOs. During COVID we. They got really into. What's that? The tea. It's the tea supposed to be good for your respiratory system. My mom was always trying to get it to me during COVID I think it might have been elderberry. It was elderberry. Elderberry was a big one.

[Josh]

CMOs. And you're saying black seed oil.

[Matt]

Black seed oil. You're on the black Sea oil.

[Josh]

Although that's. It's funny you say that. That was a black lady supplement. Leave the. That crossed over.

[Matt]

I think black people, black guys, black ladies too. Like, cuz I. I saw dudes talking about rubbing on their meats for like black. Yeah, that's what dude I was.

[Josh]

Black dudes are sneakily on the forefront of the hardest boners possible. It's crazy.

[Matt]

Especially you get like a Jamaican dude. Like, that's why they're all like, eat your beef. You need zinc. You need to be strong.

[Josh]

They're.

[Eugene]

They're, they are right about the zinc. That is true.

[Josh]

That's crazy.

[Eugene]

They all know that.

[Matt]

Yeah, they're huge on zinc. That was a crazy stuff.

[Josh]

Every, every country you go to has some sort of thing they sell where they're like, oh, it's very good. It makes you more like. If you go to like any island, they have some weird concoction. They're like, this gives you the hardest boner.

[Matt]

I've. Have you. I've tried. I've tried black seed oil. I've only tried two things. I've tried black seed oil and I tried. I think it's Korean. It was like the ginseng tea.

[Eugene]

Oh, ginseng. Yeah, Red ginseng.

[Matt]

The. Yeah, the ginseng. I tried nothing.

[Eugene]

I thought they just like jacks you up. I didn't know it was.

[Josh]

Yeah, it just gives you like. I feel like a mental.

[Matt]

There's a certain type of ginseng that is. I think.

[Josh]

Oh, really?

[Matt]

Yeah.

[Josh]

I don't think black seed oil gets you hard like that though. It's like an anti inflammatory. Although I haven't rubbed it on my meat though.

[Matt]

I didn't rub it on my meat. I did take a little. But I don't know. I saw, I saw. Because I saw one thing that said it worked. Rubbing it on your meat. And then I saw another thing that the guy was like, my meat broke out. You don't want your meat to break out. No, no meat Breakout is.

[Josh]

I've had a meat breakout. I've literally survived. I'm a breakout survivor. And it's. Dude, it's not pretty because you panic and you make it worse by trying all these other things you read about on the Internet. And your meat just gets worse and worse.

[Matt]

Oh, I just noticed. Not to stay on the subject of meat.

[Josh]

I know, dude, I gotta.

[Matt]

I had a horrible meat moment the other day.

[Josh]

What happened?

[Matt]

I was trying to. I was trying to, like, just. I was with my girl all day. I was trying to, like, rizzle her up all day. Doing a little flirty here and there, moving around, get myself charged up. Get her charged up.

[Eugene]

Nice.

[Matt]

But I don't know if I, like, gave myself blue. I think I gave myself blue balls.

[Josh]

She got too charged up. Hold on. What were you doing to get her, like, hyped up?

[Matt]

Just, like. Just, like, flirty.

[Josh]

She's, like, grabbing her ass.

[Matt]

Grabbing her ass, you know?

[Josh]

Yeah, for sure.

[Eugene]

Just flirty stuff.

[Matt]

Grabbing her titty squeezes. Like we're walking through a store like nobody's around.

[Josh]

Here's all day. She was in the center of the Minotaur's maze.

[Matt]

Just, like, out of nowhere, like, mid. I just. My balls started, like, for real hurt. I know. Homo Sean. I thought of you. I was like, I hope I'm not.

[Eugene]

Going through Sean during sex. That's kind of crazy. All right. Yeah.

[Josh]

He's a up ball up survivor. Yeah. My gut, my nuts and my butt are all up. Really? Yeah. My gut's pretty bad today. Is your gut still up? I mean, I drink.

[Matt]

I.

[Josh]

You know, it. It's mostly caused by copious amounts of Irish whiskey. Yeah. But today I vomited in the morning. Oh, man. Yeah. That stinks. I had too much to drink last night.

[Matt]

Oh, my favorite.

[Josh]

My butt and my nuts are okay. That's good. That's good.

[Matt]

My favorite visual where you could tell Sean is like, he's crossed a line, is. He'll. He'll just start. He'll. His head will go down. He'll just do this. When you talk to him, you'll be like, so and so's a dickhead. He'll be like.

[Josh]

He was trying to hang on the conversation. I had far too much to drink at the Noctis last night, but it was a good Noctis. Not. That was a Noctis was crazy last night. Yeah. It was so fun. Thank you for doing it.

[Matt]

Yeah. Thank you again.

[Josh]

True who's who of Austin comedy.

[Eugene]

Kind of bummed I wasn't there.

[Josh]

I should Have.

[Eugene]

I should have.

[Josh]

I should have pulled up.

[Matt]

My bad.

[Josh]

It was. The green room was so packed. It was crazy.

[Matt]

Damn. It was a powerful green room.

[Eugene]

Sorry. I went to a Bible study instead. No big deal.

[Josh]

Did you really? I actually did, yes. How'd it go?

[Eugene]

It was good. I mean, it was like the first meeting and it was like just like half like awkward dudes and half like, kind of awkward chicks and then like a handful of like. Really?

[Josh]

Yeah, it was code.

[Eugene]

It's pretty cool. But it's funny because people instinctually, like, split the room just by like, boy and girl.

[Josh]

Did they really?

[Eugene]

No one wanted to mix it all? Yeah. It was like a high school dance. Yeah. Not even. It's like a middle school dance.

[Josh]

How long do you get? Like an hour.

[Eugene]

It was like an hour and a half. And then we went over like the next week's gospel and then just like chatted it out. And like, it's like, all right, floors open. Anyone's to say what you thought about like one verse or whatever. And then, you know, some people gave their opinions. It's like. See, some people are like, they're just. It's like the base level. But some people went like, super deep.

[Matt]

Are you an opinion guy? Are you like, base level? Just sit there.

[Eugene]

Oh, dude. I just didn't even. I knew I didn't have anything unique to say, so I was just trying to stay quiet. I'll just take it all in.

[Josh]

But I mean, if you get adults together and have to hear their opinions, it's kind of torture, honestly.

[Eugene]

I was just trying to find like a place in the room to stare at while they did it. And I was like, oh, yeah.

[Josh]

Was anyone was usually in those. In any setting. It could be like a real estate class, could be Bible study. There's one person who. The whole room is going, shut this person up.

[Eugene]

There was one guy that, like, every single dude, it's.

[Josh]

It's like every. No matter where you are, there's one person who's like, I got this. And they just sound like a total buffoon. Could be me. This whole time.

[Eugene]

Now that I think I was. I was in my head, it's like, maybe it's me, but there was one guy who, like, at the, like the logical end of the whole session was like, you know, this just made me think of like a, like a Bible verse. Let me pull it up. And then he just like reads like a, like a three minute long thing. And it's like not about anything we had just talked about. And you're like, yeah. Thank you for sharing, man.

[Josh]

Dude, that's kind of nice, though. I actually. I've been. I feel like I've been kind of circling the drain on a Bible. A Bible club. It's coming. I'd like to do it. It'd be nice.

[Eugene]

Yeah.

[Josh]

This episode is brought to you by LifeLock. Between two factor authentication, strong passwords, and a VPN, you try to be in control of how your info is protected. But many other places also have it, and they might not be as careful. That's why LifeLock monitors hundreds of millions of data points a second for threats. If your identity is stolen, they'll fix it, guaranteed, or your money back. Save up to 40% your first year. Visit lifelock.com podcast for 40% off terms apply.

[Eugene]

It was cool. I never. I'd actually, you know.

[Josh]

Older new. You're reading older new.

[Eugene]

We were hitting new gospel.

[Josh]

Yeah, okay.

[Eugene]

But I never done one.

[Josh]

But, like, Matthew, Mark, Luke or John.

[Eugene]

Ooh, I think it was Luke. I could look it up.

[Josh]

That's fine.

[Matt]

Yeah.

[Josh]

We should know that I feel like.

[Matt]

A bad person because y' all are talking about going to, like, a Bible, like a Bible group. And all I'm thinking is, like, I might be a piece of. Is like, the ladies in there.

[Eugene]

Oh, okay.

[Matt]

It's because I'm imagining them dress very modest. And for some reason in that setting that's so sexy, I can't even. I couldn't even.

[Josh]

That's just the enemy talking, brother.

[Eugene]

That is.

[Josh]

That is not wrong. There's obviously, you know, as soon as you said it was co ed, my brain went there. I went. I mean, I will say, like, serpent in the garden.

[Eugene]

When I was in there, I just, like, someone walked in, I just clocked them. I was like, yeah. I mean, I'd marry you three.

[Matt]

Yeah.

[Josh]

I. I send those Instagrams to my wife all the time. Of, like, there's accounts called, like, the reformed wife. Any of those, like, women who are like, why would I ever give my wife, my husband attitude when he gets home? Lifestyle, loving wife. And I just fire him off there all the time. It's. It's the best.

[Eugene]

Is it like, the ones, like, they're like, let's, like, live on a farm and, like, drink raw milk and stuff. Yeah, yeah.

[Josh]

But it's like some of them, it's not even a video. It's just like a quote, a lady. It's like, it'll be like, yeah, I could act like a big brat in my house, but I choose not to because I Love my husband and the Lord sin. And I go, yo, this is so funny. Read it. It's like, I was just, like, laughing or whatever. You should probably read. That's hilarious. We can laugh at it together. I'm like, but I mean, it does have a point, though. It's kind of crazy. Dang. So you're at Bible study. Didn't know about Noctis?

[Eugene]

I. I did know about Noctis, but I was like, you know what?

[Matt]

I chose the Lord.

[Eugene]

I agreed to do this. And, like, this is what God's will was, is for me to go to.

[Josh]

This true and not to go to the who's who. Yeah.

[Matt]

But then.

[Eugene]

But then I. I will say I left and I saw, like, Tim was on. I was like, oh, that'd be cool. Oh, I went to Bible study like that. This what God intended.

[Josh]

All right, now the Bible study rules.

[Eugene]

Yeah, it was cool.

[Josh]

It be nice to read it and be like. Just didn't hit that hard. Just be in there. Be like, I don't know. I just remember this being better when I was younger.

[Eugene]

I. I remember there was a moment when, like, they asked us, like, what do you think about this passage? Or whatever? And people were trying to say, like, oh, I think Jesus is saying that this thing represent this. Like, he gives it an analogy. He's big on analogies, obviously. And he does, like, he says like, something about some tower building a tower. I think the tower represents this. I think it represents this. And I was like, I don't think it represents anything. I think just using examples to see how ridiculous the prospect of being his disciple without giving up all your possessions is. And then they're like, yeah, for sure.

[Josh]

All right, you scored.

[Matt]

Do you remember what the passage was? I would love to have a take.

[Eugene]

It was the him talking about, like, you can't follow me. I'm gonna butcher it. But so you can't follow me without hating your. Your father, your mother, your brother, your sister, your wife, even your own life. Like, if you want to be my disciple, you have to, like, take up your cross and come after me some. And then, like, the rest of that, he gives, like, examples of his name and stuff.

[Matt]

Sounds like God would say, you just a hating ass.

[Josh]

Yeah.

[Eugene]

Yeah. Well, he's just like, you gotta love me. You gotta love me more than everyone else.

[Josh]

Basically saying, yeah, yeah, more than your mommy and daddy. Would you do that?

[Matt]

Would I love.

[Josh]

Could you give up your mommy and daddy for God?

[Matt]

Yeah, not my mom.

[Eugene]

It's not. It's not even giving up it's like, relative to them, it should be higher.

[Matt]

I would think it was a trick if he was like, give up your mom.

[Josh]

If your mom was a God fearing woman, she'd want you to give her up.

[Matt]

She would definitely say, give him. And I'd be like.

[Josh]

But like, yeah, fine, I won't call you anymore.

[Matt]

That's all I had to do. Not a big deal.

[Josh]

True. Next time. I haven't heard from me in a while, like, yeah, well, read the Bible. All right.

[Matt]

God asked me to not talk to you.

[Eugene]

God told me to hate you.

[Josh]

I'm sorry. No, there's. There's a book called. I think it's called Light through an Eastern Window where they go through. It was a guy, I think, from India who went through the Bible. And like, there's weird little sayings that you only understand if you're from like an eastern culture because they really. Yeah, there's like the, the fish or whatever they pulled out there was like, money and like, it was money instead or whatever. Isn't that a Bible story where they, like, find a fish, but it actually contains a bunch of a ring in its mouth or something?

[Eugene]

I'm not sure.

[Matt]

Sounds like a hood store.

[Josh]

No, I sort of got the bag. Dude. Is that a Bible story about a fish that, like, you pull it out and there's like a. There's a bunch of money inside of it?

[Matt]

What's the black seed oil?

[Josh]

It's like the AI overview says that it's this God. In the Gospel of Matthew.

[Matt]

To avoid.

[Josh]

Tax collectors, Jesus told Peter to catch a fish and open its mouth to find a coin. Yeah, so there's really a fish? No, but there's actually a fish in the east that is known for swallowing shiny, like jewelry. And fishermen would catch them and pop it out. And that was the story. He's like, I don't have any money. And Jesus was like, go fishing right now. And he pops a ring out of the fish's mouth. But apparently there is. There are fish in that, like, area that swallow. They're known to swallow jewelry. If you catch them, you get. Sometimes the fishermen will like pull a jewel out of their gullet.

[Eugene]

That's cool.

[Josh]

Yeah, it's a whole book about. It's pretty cool. He goes through like every single little thing and explains like, well, this is what they actually mean by this. Gives like real world examples of like, just like weird. Like you read there, you're like, why the. Would somebody do that? Yeah, but apparently there's a reasons for.

[Matt]

A lot of it what's got you wanting to get. Because you said you were like circling the drain on starting to join a Bible study. What's got you there?

[Josh]

I don't know. Just a chat. Vibe, dude. Just read vibes. Yeah, I just want to chat. By bro, I mean, you get it. You get to a certain age where you're like, all right, man, I've read a lot of stuff and none of it's alpha, man. Might as well read by chat, Bob.

[Matt]

I could see that being a good and dude getting.

[Josh]

When you're married, it helps if your babe's on the bibe because the vibe's in your favor. If you get vibe with you and your babe, vibe's got your back all the way. No other book. What other? Other. Only other books you're gonna read is like Mel Robbins, be like, 5, 4, 3, 2, 1, get out of bed or whatever.

[Matt]

I can't do both though. I told you before, I was trying to hofi. Oh, you might not have been there when I was telling you I was trying to ho five my lady, but yeah.

[Josh]

What do you mean? Trying to hold fire? Trying to hold stag vixen.

[Matt]

I'm trying to have her be more of a hoe in the house. So I've been like buying a bunch of dumb ho stuff.

[Josh]

I feel like you can do that.

[Matt]

Yeah, no, I.

[Josh]

You can have the vibe. And still you think the. You gotta get married, though.

[Matt]

Yeah, no.

[Josh]

Yeah. We're trying to unlock the true freak, dudes.

[Matt]

I'm. Yeah, I'm worried that marriage will lock away the true freak. That's a big fear of mine.

[Josh]

Not true.

[Matt]

You think that. You think? Okay, all right. What up?

[Josh]

I mean. Oh, you're saying you kind of want her singing for a supper?

[Matt]

Yeah, I feel like. I feel like once she gets everything she needs, she's like, nah.

[Josh]

Sweatpants, it's a delicate dance. No, no, no way, dude.

[Eugene]

That's where the vibe comes in. Is that.

[Josh]

Especially as a black guy, I'm surprised you're not using the vibe. I feel like black guys can lean into the vibe harder than anybody and it just. I don't know, man. It looks good on you.

[Matt]

It might be too late for me to, but. Cuz it might look phony though. You think? If I get into it right now, clearly not a Bob guy and just go like, not full Bob now.

[Eugene]

Hey, the Lord works mysterious ways, brother.

[Josh]

Yeah, you can for sure.

[Matt]

It would be a good excuse to get a Jesus piece. I've needed a Jesus piece. Excuse me.

[Eugene]

I'm at the. I. I'll go shopping with you if you want to do that.

[Josh]

I need to get one.

[Matt]

Jesus Christ.

[Eugene]

I got a wood one I need to like a.

[Matt]

You want a wood one?

[Eugene]

Oh, no, I have a wood one. I need to. You need to get a gold true. I want to get some gold or some silver or something.

[Josh]

Ice that thing out for sure. Jesus pieces and get this. Yeah, no, I. I feel like it's a. Yeah, it's a nice thing. I don't know. I don't have time for it right now, but yeah, it'd be nice to get. Get in a circle and talk vibe.

[Matt]

Yeah.

[Josh]

Go back to my babe. Be like, yo, we actually talked about it. You're supposed to be a lot nicer around here.

[Matt]

You go black church, white church, I'll go wherever. But honestly, I think I'm going full Mexican church.

[Josh]

Mexican vibes.

[Eugene]

I mean, let's say my church brother. Catholic church, man. More or less.

[Matt]

Oh, yeah. They're gonna always be Catholic, though.

[Josh]

Yeah. Yeah.

[Eugene]

But Mexican Catholic church is a whole different vibe.

[Matt]

It's like a party vibe.

[Eugene]

It. I wouldn't say party vibe, but it is a different vibe. Like, I've been to a few mises in espanol. They're pretty. It's pretty cool. It's fun to be like the one white guy in the. In the Spanish mass. Like, they're like, you're one of the good ones.

[Josh]

Wait, what is it called?

[Eugene]

A Me say miserable. Yeah.

[Josh]

Was that.

[Eugene]

It's just mass in Spanish.

[Josh]

Oh, really?

[Eugene]

Me saying espanol? Yeah.

[Josh]

Damn.

[Ad Reader]

This episode is brought to you by Viori.

[Josh]

How many pairs of pants is too much? A pair for the office, a pair for the course. When does it end?

[Ad Reader]

Luckily, the Meta pant from Vuori can do all of it. Can do it all.

[Josh]

I feel like it's ideal for the golf course or office, but also stylish and comfortable enough to wear all day.

[Ad Reader]

I was thinking the same thing, Matt, because it's made from durable four way stretch fabric. All day comfort. Think about that.

[Josh]

Is it.

[Ad Reader]

Most pants are two, barely three.

[Josh]

Four is crazy. So I've got a couple.

[Ad Reader]

I've got a couple three way stretch pants and I go, this is not enough. So I need four ways. Need a completely north, south, east, west stretching, hula hooping and it transitions seamlessly.

[Josh]

Very moisture wicking. How do you think about it as an investment?

[Ad Reader]

How do I think about it as an investment? Matt Vori is an investment in happiness.

[Josh]

I didn't even think about that.

[Ad Reader]

Okay. And right now you can get 20% off your first order and free shipping on any US order of 75 and free returns.

[Josh]

So get the Meta Pant now at vuri.com secret that's V U-O-R-I.com secret exclusions apply. Visit the website for full terms and conditions. Oh yeah, but what is it? I I Doesn't the word Lord translate to like ombre or something funny in, in Spanish? I'm not sure I, I've seen on a screen. It's, it's like a. The word. Huh? Caballero. Yeah. HE TRANSLATES Caballero. Yeah.

[Eugene]

Isn't it just like guy?

[Josh]

Yeah, just, it's like cool, cool guy. I swear to God, I saw that one time and started laughing. Senor. That's what it is. I say it was senor. I saw it on there and it was like.

[Matt]

It's just all the Bible just says, senor.

[Eugene]

Capital S, senor.

[Josh]

Save me, senor. Yeah, it makes me laugh when I see that.

[Matt]

Damn.

[Josh]

Well, that's good. Well, yeah, I mean, look, we'll figure it out. Yeah, but I'm telling you man, I, I might go. I might go. Black eye vibe circle. It could be the move. Honestly.

[Matt]

I mean it sounds like the most fun could.

[Josh]

Book of Exodus could get a little spicy in there. I'd be like, look, guys, what's happening to everybody? It's what the Jews are escaping slavery. Oh, look at this. What the hell? Worldwide institution turns out. Just kidding. I'm just kidding. I'm joking. I'm Josh. I would never violate a black Bible study with right wing talking points.

[Matt]

I bet you get in there. It's probably more of it going on than you think.

[Josh]

Oh, dude. Big time. Yeah, dude. Yeah. Black people are conservative. I swear to God, like every, every black person you talk to one on one hits very conserv of talking points for the most part.

[Matt]

And, but it'll happen and then they'll be like, I'll be like, that sounds like some Republican ass. And then people like, no, no, it's like, eh, I don't know.

[Josh]

Yeah, maybe. I don't know. It's, it's not as much. It's not like hardcore damn line though, because they're racist. Black people are racist as hell. I can confirm that for sure.

[Matt]

I'll confirm it.

[Josh]

So racist.

[Matt]

Yeah, that's like my favorite thing. It's like my favorite thing to be racist.

[Josh]

It is nice to be like kind of allowed to as well.

[Matt]

I think we're losing it. And you are sadly out.

[Josh]

Sadly.

[Matt]

You're losing me for real mad.

[Josh]

Yeah. White ladies are taking it from you guys.

[Matt]

White ladies are taking it from us. And, like, we're not even allowed to be racist against, like, other types of. Like, we used to be able to. We used to be able to make fun of Chinese people to their face. To their face.

[Josh]

I've seen it.

[Matt]

Now we just can't without being monsters.

[Eugene]

Yeah. 2020, 21 kind of did a number on that one for you guys.

[Josh]

Yeah, yeah. Who own shops post. Post 9, 11. I used to see some horrendous displays and Dunkin Donuts and just sit there and be like, God damn, lady, you are nuts. Yeah, they literally. Yeah. Between, like, 2001 and, like, 2020, it was. It was perfectly acceptable to call, like, an Indian guy Osama to his face at Dunkin Donuts. It was totally. It wasn't even, like, being funny. It was, like, almost like, poppy for Spanish guys, like, yo, sama, put. Put cream cheese on my.

[Eugene]

If you want to get back on, like, some of the Asian hate and, like, the Chinese hate, just go to Japan. You can just openly be like, yeah, the Chinese are loud and dirty.

[Matt]

Oh, they get fired up. That's nice.

[Eugene]

Yeah, I agree.

[Josh]

Loud and dirty. So funny.

[Eugene]

Rude is a big one. I mean, so it's also.

[Josh]

How Asian do you have to be to be, like, Chinese people? Loud as hell, man. Yeah. These guys are out of control.

[Eugene]

It's weird when you do see them. Like, when you're in another Asian country and then you see a separate group of Asians in that country, it's like, all right, I can. I can start to see.

[Josh]

You can start?

[Eugene]

Yeah.

[Josh]

How do you. So if you're in Japan, did you see Chinese people?

[Eugene]

Yeah. They're usually in groups. They're usually in groups, and they're usually talking pretty loud, serious, like. And they just don't even, like. Like there's a line to something. They're, like, cutting. They're like.

[Josh]

They.

[Eugene]

Don't you visually tell I'm not the best? I'd like to say that I am. But then I think we did a test last time I was on.

[Matt]

Oh, yeah.

[Eugene]

And I failed about 0 to 100.

[Josh]

Yeah. Butterly was crushing it. Really well. Yeah, he was. That was pretty nuts. Yeah, that's. That's interesting. So they go to kind of. Do you think that's kind of a flex, though, on Japan where there's, like.

[Eugene]

They'Re just going to visit.

[Josh]

Yeah. But they're here, and we're gonna get loud as. And I guess that's that's one thing.

[Eugene]

I didn't realize I go in an Asian country is that it's like, oh, I forget. Like this is just a place anyone goes to. Like, of course Asians from other countries would go here on vacation too. I was like, oh, it's a weird. It was a weird thing for me.

[Josh]

I don't know. Gotta be interesting though, because I. I know for a fact there's the Asian on Asian beef. I mean, it's Asian on Asian beef. Yeah. Koreans don't like the Chinese. Koreans kind of sweat the Japanese. They're like, they're kind of cool, I think. I think they would give it up.

[Matt]

The shift is the two best Asians.

[Eugene]

I think the younger, the younger generation likes the Koreans a lot more in Japan.

[Josh]

Really?

[Eugene]

Because like K pop and all that stuff. Like it's like a cool. They're like the cool hot like cool anime.

[Matt]

Not like blending it where it's kind of.

[Eugene]

Yeah. I guess it's kind of even that way.

[Josh]

Yeah.

[Eugene]

With the like the kind of younger generation.

[Josh]

South Korea is kind of crushing it too.

[Eugene]

Here. Seoul is like the coolest place ever. I've just never been. My, my steez to go to Korea.

[Josh]

Yeah.

[Eugene]

I don't like the food enough.

[Josh]

The food sucks. Korean food stinks.

[Eugene]

Well, Gogi, great. Everything else I wouldn't eat.

[Josh]

I've had bibimbaps. They're not bad, but that's where China has them spanked. China's Chinese food crushes.

[Matt]

Is it real but not real. It's the shitty Chinese food that's the best shit, dude.

[Josh]

Real Chinese food's awesome.

[Matt]

Every time I've had like authentic high.

[Josh]

End Chinese food, I just, I was at a Chinese person's house at a graduation party in high school and they gave me the real stuff, like homemade.

[Eugene]

They love to go keep the real.

[Josh]

They give us the msgs, dude.

[Matt]

Yeah. I mean, but the MSG is so, so good.

[Josh]

Your body processes it in 10 seconds.

[Matt]

She's perfect. Yeah. I want to ask you because you're. You're on the righteous path from what I. Maybe it's just the. What Tokyo is to me, but it seems like a super horny place. How do you, how do you maintain, like buy panties and vending machines and.

[Eugene]

Yeah, but I'm not a freak, you know, I'm not like, I'm like. Yeah, I've never wanted to do that. Even here. If that was available here, I wouldn't do that.

[Matt]

You wouldn't. Just see, just. You can't. Well, you're not taking off the thing.

[Eugene]

Oh, nice. I wonder. Oh, she had some.

[Matt]

I might not open it, but I'm gonna keep it in a little. In a little plastic. Think it comes in.

[Eugene]

I mean.

[Josh]

Yeah. No, you're not. I'm calling on that.

[Matt]

I'm saying bare minimum. Bare minimum.

[Eugene]

I mean, it's. It's a horny place, but it's like. It's also a very, like, if.

[Matt]

Titty milk bars.

[Eugene]

Yeah, but it's also so separate from real.

[Matt]

Yeah, they have bars. You just go and.

[Eugene]

Yeah.

[Matt]

Get titty milk.

[Josh]

It's so special for, like, macro purposes.

[Eugene]

Yeah. But it's just so separate from any real, actual connection that it's like. It just. Is just this artificial thing that doesn't feel enjoyable. You can basically pay for, like, like, a lot of parts of being with a woman. Like, you could have someone just, like, cuddle with you and. Or just, like, stare into your eyes or something. But it's like, you know, at. On the other side.

[Josh]

To be honest, I might crack the plastic during a cuddle.

[Matt]

I've seen videos of people doing it. It looks so nice.

[Josh]

I'd be leaning out of the bed, like, hold on a second. I had to get something out of my pocket.

[Eugene]

There was. There was one time when I. I was like, just placed in a situation. I was like, I gotta get out of here. But where the temptation was the. Was the. The highest was I went to. I went to Fukuoka, which is, like, the biggest city, I think, in, like, the South Island. And I was just there for a night. And I asked my concierge, the hotel. I was like, just ask him, like, what's a cool area to, like, get something to eat, Maybe drink a couple beers, you know, something like that. And he's like, oh, go to this area. Nakasu. Go to Nakasu. I was like, all right, cool. Nakasu. Whatever. It's walkable. I walk over there and I eat, like, a really nice, like, cool restaurant is rated really high on, like, the Japanese Yelp. And I'm walking around, I'm like, oh, man. A lot of hot chicks. Hot chicks in Nakasu. I like this area. This is a cool spot. And I'm like, there are a lot of hot chicks. And then I was like, it's weird that they're all wearing high heels. I don't know what's going on, but. And then I was like, oh, wait, I looked. I googled on my phone. I was in, like, the second largest red light district in all of Japan. I was like, I got to escape, like, major shit. They all had different outfits. Like, I could see them going to their different themed cafes and, like, bars and stuff in their different outfits.

[Josh]

Oh, wow.

[Eugene]

Which was kind of awesome. But I was like, I gotta.

[Josh]

Did you go back and chat and yell at the guy going through what the.

[Eugene]

I did. I was like, what the hell? It was all girl bars. And, like, the two girls working the hotel were laughing at that prospect.

[Josh]

Yeah.

[Eugene]

And then I was, like, rising them up. I was like, yo, what's up? I bought one of the cheeseburger and.

[Josh]

Oh, you got them cheese. Did you realize? I was like, yeah, I didn't get any hookers. Here's a cheeseburger.

[Eugene]

Yeah, I got really tired of, like, all the Japanese grub. And this is, like, towards the end of my trip too. So I just, like. I Googled, like, cheeseburgers, like, in the area, and there's a place called Us Burger, and, like, the picture on Google Images had just a white dude working there. I was like, I'm going here.

[Matt]

Yeah.

[Eugene]

And so I went there and, like, it's really good. And I brought back cheeseburgers for the.

[Matt]

Two concierge ladies and didn't give the guy shit.

[Eugene]

What?

[Matt]

You didn't give nothing to the guy who was there? Who told you?

[Eugene]

Oh, the guy was gone. It just me and my girlfriends.

[Matt]

Okay.

[Josh]

Just eating cheeseburgers. Did you watch them eat them?

[Eugene]

I did, yeah. I mean, I ate them. I. I brought. I had one with them. I was like, watching, like, it was like a mukbang. I was, like, watching mukbang.

[Josh]

The burgers, did you give them double burger or single?

[Eugene]

Double, obviously.

[Josh]

Yeah.

[Eugene]

I'm doing well. Yes.

[Matt]

That's. That's undeniably creepy. I'm not saying, like, coming at you, but, like, if I came back with two burgers to just American concierge ladies.

[Eugene]

It'S like, I was gonna. I told him. I was like, I'm gonna get. Get a burger. I'm gonna come back and bring you one. And I was like, you guys don't believe me, but I'm gonna do this. And I came back like, an hour later. I was like, at the bird.

[Matt]

I'm gonna do that at a hotel.

[Josh]

And they just munch. They just house the burgs.

[Eugene]

One of the girls was like, this is like, the best day of my job. Thank you so much. Like, no one treats those people like.

[Josh]

Do you think that's a cultural thing? Like, they had to do that in terms of, like, hospitality and they made themselves vomit afterwards. No, no, no, she.

[Matt]

She.

[Eugene]

She had like, the security camera. She's like, I don't think, like, I'm allowed to, like the work conditions there. It's like. Like she would get in a big trouble if they saw her eat it. So she'd, like, get out of the view of the security camera and eat this.

[Matt]

Eat like an adorable Japanese lady.

[Eugene]

Yeah, yeah, yeah. I watched.

[Josh]

Where did you eat? The burg.

[Matt]

What?

[Josh]

You just ate it in the lobby on cctv.

[Matt]

Stand it up.

[Josh]

True. It did cross my mind you'd abandoned your post and come.

[Matt]

I know.

[Eugene]

I was like, this is a cheeseburger. Did bring down my defenses.

[Josh]

Then what did the other one do? She. She took. Ducked out of the way too, and watched the burger. Yeah.

[Matt]

You clearly had your eyes on one of them.

[Eugene]

I also couldn't handle that.

[Josh]

I was like, I gotta go back to my room right now. That's pretty cool. I didn't know you did that. That's awesome. Yeah.

[Matt]

Are you still. No fapping.

[Eugene]

Yeah, but I don't wanna.

[Josh]

I don't wanna talk about that.

[Matt]

Okay.

[Josh]

We don't. We don't talk.

[Matt]

All.

[Eugene]

I'm.

[Josh]

I'm not going to talk about still. I mean, what's. What's the Bible quote? If you're fasting, don't tell people. Bible fast, bro. I mean, it is what it is. It's not even. I don't even think about it anymore. We just crush burgs with ladies, dude. That's a high te move, by the way.

[Eugene]

Thank you. I thought so. I was really.

[Josh]

Brought you girls.

[Eugene]

Yeah.

[Matt]

Brought you ladies burgers.

[Josh]

I brought you girls some burgers.

[Eugene]

I brought you some meat. I went out hunting.

[Josh]

I went hunting.

[Eugene]

I brought you some meat.

[Josh]

Step out of the camera and take a bite. From hanging out with all those.

[Matt]

You did go through a hole. You came back charged up from looking at all the hookers. Went to spaz on the guy. Saw ladies and just was like, I'll buy you burgers.

[Eugene]

I will provide for you.

[Josh]

That is tight. They got to see your righteous fury. Come back and say, how dare you, sir?

[Eugene]

I was actually kind of pissed. I was trying to be funny about it, but I was like, what the. They were all.

[Josh]

It was all girls bars, which is like the hookers. Yeah.

[Matt]

He might be the first guy that he's ever had pissed. Come back. Pissed from there because he, like, I.

[Eugene]

Guess he clocked me. He was like, this guy wants back to Nate's question.

[Josh]

It does seem like it is pretty normal there.

[Eugene]

Yeah, it's the. The culture There is so weird with, like. Like, you think Japanese people, like. Oh, like, you know, kind of innocent, don't do bad. Like, that much bad stuff anymore. But they, like, cheating on your wife is like, a totally, like, acceptable. It's a. It's a very normal, like, the cheating culture there is almost like. Yeah. I mean, I don't love her. It's fine. Like, it's almost like.

[Josh]

But you can't talk back to, like, your grandmother.

[Eugene]

Yeah.

[Josh]

It's like you could, like, go eat a stripper's butt. Come back to Thanksgiving.

[Eugene]

You gotta respect Obasan.

[Josh]

Check the boss on. Yeah, I mean, that's fair.

[Eugene]

But they sell, like, at, like, the convenience stores. Like, they sell, like. Like, white shirt. Like, they sell, like, white shirts and all this stuff that, like, they sell, like, the base level, like, undergarments and stuff you need. So, like, when dudes go cheat on their wives, they can just change into it. And they. Even a lot of the places, like, some of the, like, the brothels and. Or, like, love hotels, they'll have scentless shampoos and stuff that you use. Like, your wife won't be like, are you serious? Yeah, they're. They're really big on the cheating game over there. I kind of figured it out.

[Josh]

They figured out shampoo is. That's kind of a deep cut. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. It's crazy. My buddy told me I'm out of the wash. Smell like VO5. You're like, damn it, dude. Our technology sucks.

[Matt]

How do you fight the fight all day then? Like, how do you fight the good fight and stay on the straight and.

[Eugene]

Narrow while I was in Japan.

[Matt]

Yeah. Or do you.

[Eugene]

I mean, I was just going. I was just munching and drinking with the bros at bars, but I was. I was. I was going to bars. I was going, like, the Izakaya, which aren't like, you know, it's not like, there's not gonna be young girls there. It's just a bunch of old dudes and just regular guys off of work that I'm just like. I was just drinking with them and just my running joke most of the time, which is saying, like, I was with a buddy, and I was just like, he's gay. I said he's gay in Japanese. And they love that.

[Josh]

Gay jokes. Crushed there.

[Eugene]

Yeah. Me and my buddy Connor were just going around and calling each other gay for, like, a whole night and made dudes laugh every single time.

[Josh]

That is better than getting asses. Yeah.

[Matt]

Yeah, it was awesome. I'm thinking about the reverse man, it would be the funniest thing. Two Japanese dudes walk up, clearly visiting, like he's okay.

[Josh]

I would lose.

[Eugene]

My pronunciation's really good. So it's like, imagine the Japanese dude only speak in Japanese and perfectly enunciates I'm gay. The move I was pulling in Japan. Dude, any culture does guys love.

[Josh]

Dude, brought that down to Mexico way. Yeah, lose it. Oh, it's so funny.

[Ad Reader]

This episode is brought to you by Prize picks. Football is back, baby. You know what that means. More beer, more bad takes, and, yeah, more chances to win big on prize picks. Yeah, I'm going to put in some quick lineups on the app.

[Josh]

Yeah, we have them already.

[Ad Reader]

Yeah, I got it right here.

[Josh]

What you got there?

[Ad Reader]

I already on it. Just cooked up a lineup right now.

[Matt]

Yep.

[Ad Reader]

Just did another one.

[Josh]

What? It can't be that simple.

[Ad Reader]

It is. Pick a couple players, go more or less on their stats. That's it.

[Matt]

Oh, wow.

[Josh]

This is like ordering food, but instead of cold fries, it's cold, hard cash.

[Ad Reader]

Exactly. There's no snake drafts.

[Josh]

All right?

[Ad Reader]

There's not even spreadsheets. Just tap, tap, lineup and deposits.

[Josh]

Smooth. Doesn't feel like I gave my bank info to a guy named Kyle on Discord.

[Ad Reader]

Man, it. It feels good, doesn't it?

[Josh]

All right, I'm in. This rules.

[Ad Reader]

You know what else feels good? Putting my knowledge to the test on prize picks and getting paid when I'm right. Millions are already playing and billions have been paid out.

[Josh]

Well, yeah.

[Ad Reader]

Plus, it's available in 40 plus states, including California, Texas, and Georgia. So pull up, lock in a lineup and pick with us all football season long.

[Josh]

Download the prize picks app today and use code drench to get $50 in lineups after you play your first $5 lineup. That's code drench to get $50 in lineUps after you play your first $5 Lineup. Prize picks. It's good to be right, Matt.

[Ad Reader]

I'll tell you, I'm looking at the picks right now, and these are almost like gimmes. I think they're trying to give away some money over here. Just looking at Eagles, Cowboys, they got the line set. I mean, first off, you want to win some. Some surprise. Some cold, hard picks, pass yards. Dak Prescott at 0.5 yards. I'm gonna say he's gonna pass for more than one yard.

[Josh]

Yeah, that's what.

[Matt]

That's just.

[Ad Reader]

That's just prize picks.

[Josh]

Having fun soaking people.

[Ad Reader]

Also, I think he's gonna pass for more than 200.199.5 and I think Jalen Hurts is gonna have more than 212.5 pass yards. I mean, these seem the guy can do. I will say this though, a funny thing is I've seen a group try to do that with Aaron Rodgers. His first game, they said, do you think he's gonna have more than 1 yard towards Achilles on the first play? Oh, but hopefully that doesn't happen here.

[Josh]

True.

[Ad Reader]

Anyway, thanks, prize picks.

[Josh]

Thank you.

[Matt]

Speaking of gay guys, I watched the Juicy Smooth dude.

[Josh]

What's. What's the news? So he's innocent. What's going on?

[Matt]

Yeah, it's.

[Josh]

Did he produce it by himself?

[Matt]

He might have produced it. And it's. There's so many little things about it that bothers me from the very beginning. At the very beginning, he comes out and it's like a kind of dramatic walk out. It's over the shoulder. It's a dark room. He's always, you know, before one on.

[Josh]

One shot of like the documentary straight on.

[Matt]

But it's. They got him walking up to the chair and he's trying to look a little disheveled in it.

[Josh]

Yeah, like.

[Matt]

Like, you still got money.

[Josh]

He does strike me as a master manipulator.

[Matt]

He. He really is going through that. Like, I mean, even when they went back to like the clips of him crying during the interviews, his. But he. I mean, he had like a cut that looked like he was a refugee. He went from like his beautiful curly hair to like, I'mma get no shape up, cut low.

[Josh]

He's looking rough looking like Ruben kind of look. Yeah, like, even.

[Matt]

Even worse. Like, I don't know, like. Like, like the Nigerians he was trying to frame or he would not frame. But you, you know.

[Josh]

Yeah, well, maybe he didn't.

[Matt]

They had no. They. They're in it. They're in it. They're talking. They're like, yeah, no, he asked me.

[Josh]

To like that in there.

[Matt]

They had the full. I don't know, maybe it wasn't him then. Because I feel like they wouldn't have put them dudes in there Right. If he was. But. But I mean, like, there's so many moments where he's trying to be like this victim guy. And then they cut to something. Like there's a part where they're trying to make it look like it's the cops. Like the cops in Chicago were corrupt. But the whole time it's like you called the. Oh, you called the cops on. There's footage of. I didn't notice when the cops came. I didn't Follow that story like that. When it came out, when the cops came, he was still wearing the noose. Yes. 35 minutes.

[Josh]

That was my original take years ago. I was like, what dude is going to keep a noose around his neck?

[Matt]

Like, even. Even as you're walking, like you're running back to the crib. My next thought is like, what if they're chasing me? I got this noose.

[Josh]

They can just set myself up for failure. Yeah.

[Matt]

So he still. We're in the. Oh. Then they cut to it. He was like, I didn't. It's not that I never took it off. I just put it back on when the cops got there so they could see.

[Josh]

So they understand how it works.

[Eugene]

Yeah.

[Matt]

Then he tried to say he was paying the guys because, you know, I got that check for like 3, 500 that he gave. Yeah, they tried to say that that was for he's. Because they went to Nigeria like right after it all happened. And he said I was paying them to go get me steroids from Nigeria that you can't get over here. Like, it's like a special. And they were trying to. There. There is like parts where you get towards the end of it where they hit you with those. Like. Well, maybe because there is one footage, one of the. One of the. Like play a devil's advocate. There is one guy who said that I did see a white guy in a box, which is also hilarious. Thinking of white guys running around in Shiesty. But he. The. The security guard was like, I did see a white guy. Guy running past. I didn't see him with Jesse, but I saw him running past. And there is like 10 seconds of footage that would show the guys running past that is taken out of the footage. Like it does a hard jump cut, like a 10 second jump cut in the real. Which is the only thing I was.

[Josh]

Like, you know, where do the Nigerian guys come into play? Why would they say that he did that?

[Matt]

This is how they try to say that. They were trying to say the Nigeria guys might have been like flipped by the cops because once they did get them, they weren't talking. Then they raided their house and they found a bunch of guns. They lived together. I think they were saying they. And one of them is a felon. So he can't have. So he can't have guns. And he found a bunch of guns there. And they were trying to say there's never. There's not any like interrogation room footage of them making some deal. The only thing that they were like trying to use Is there was like the lawyer, one of their lawyers was talking and saying that we can seal your records because they were actors too. So they were trying to have their records sealed for like show business shit.

[Josh]

Yeah.

[Matt]

But there's not. That's. That's really it. It's just like. There's a jump cut, which does look crazy. It is like a real weird second of a jump cut.

[Josh]

There's a white guy in a shy Steve running around.

[Matt]

Allegedly. There was a white guy in the shisty who got his flashlight shine on his face. But the 10 seconds that that happens in the footage is gone. So you just see them running past.

[Josh]

Interesting.

[Matt]

And it cuts. That is a. Yeah. And they were, they were. They were like the. And then they go back to this like, shooting that happened in Chicago where they did that at a fast food place. Like some kid got shot. And I guess they took 35 minutes out of the security footage. And then eventually other footage got leaked. So they were like. That was like the long come around they were doing was like they did it before here.

[Josh]

Building it up.

[Matt]

Yeah. So look at them. Maybe they did it here too. And.

[Josh]

Yeah. I don't know.

[Matt]

Then they have one other piece of footage where they see one of them with the, with the drone down. And you can't really see the guy, but there's people who are looking at it and they're going like, that's definitely a white guy. And then they're going to other people like, that's definitely a black guy. And then at the end they go.

[Josh]

With the black Nigerian guys on camera at all.

[Matt]

Not. There's only one moment where you can kind of see one of them with their, with the thing down and you can't tell what he is. They literally pass it around on the iPad, like, hit play to like the cops and the lawyers and. And even to the. To the two Nigerian dudes. Nigerian dudes. Like, yeah, that's my brother, that's me. And then. But the other people are like, Even a guy who was like, it was a white guy who ran past me. He looked at him, was like, ah, that looks like a black dude to me. But then there was like this lady who was saying that there couldn't have been any, like, white people. There were like, ah, that does kind of look like a white guy. It was like this one piece of footage that no one can agree what the guy looks like, but their body types look like the brothers. The brothers were yoked too.

[Eugene]

It's like that picture of like the dress is this blue or white.

[Josh]

Why would he send Nigerian guys to Africa to get steroids?

[Matt]

Cuz he, it was supposed to. Oh, his exact word was it bur it's a certain type of steroid that burns belly fast.

[Eugene]

Specifically. That's all That's Yeah, dude, steroids.

[Matt]

It's.

[Josh]

He could have went to a doc. He's a Hollywood actor. He go to a doctor and get abs. He can go on like hormone replacement therapy with a doctor. He's gonna get easy to. Yeah, he's gonna send a Nigerian felon to Africa.

[Matt]

Africa, $3,500 like, like to get the steroids, take the trip.

[Josh]

Like that's sus, bro.

[Matt]

It's so sus.

[Josh]

Sounds like a big gay lie to me.

[Matt]

It sounds like a giant gay lie. I mean when they.

[Josh]

Crazy gay lie.

[Matt]

When they show the pictures of the brothers of the doc. They show one picture, one of the brothers. It's the gayest picture of all time. It's just him jacked in, little draws. And I was like, oh yeah, these were gay guys having sex probably. And then it turned into a whole. Yeah, the whole thing think. I don't know, I may be putting that out there. I might be just throwing, you know, throwing, throwing darts at nothing. But it just looked like, I don't know, I ain't going. I ain't gonna try to throw gay on those guys names.

[Josh]

True, true, true. I mean they did put themselves in a bad situation, you know what I mean?

[Matt]

I mean but. And oh, that's the one thing that.

[Josh]

Got be nice having two choice gay brothers. If I was a Hollywood, a gay Hollywood, a lister, I might try to snag two choice, just top shelf, giant gay black gu.

[Eugene]

And they got a link on some steroids.

[Josh]

Yeah. And weaponry. Yeah, yeah, it does. I don't know. Still doesn't hold up. It's crazy those guys had weapons. I didn't know those guys were thugging like that. Those brothers were thugging you.

[Matt]

One of them, the one that was a fellow, he had an attempted murder charge that I think got taken down to like aggravated assault or something. Yeah. But I mean they kept describing the guns as tactical weapons, which probably just means they had a like rifles like, like probably just means they had a.

[Josh]

Rifle with an attempted murder charge. It's like also what happened with that.

[Matt]

Well, I think it technically wasn't his. It might have been in the house and I think you can still have him in your house.

[Eugene]

I swear it's not my, it's not my tactical weapon.

[Josh]

He got, he got, he got Charged for attempted murder.

[Matt]

This is like way before the really. The juicy stuff happened.

[Josh]

He got off though.

[Matt]

I don't know. I think he got taken down the aggravated assault and he did get okay.

[Josh]

He might have been hoping on someone's.

[Matt]

Ass they didn't get all the way into like that. They just. They just dwelled on the felony, dwelled on the guns. And then all of a sudden nothing happened with that. But it was like, yeah, maybe they just weren't his guns and that's why nothing happened. True.

[Josh]

Yeah. The story. If that's his best argument. I'm still saying the old doesn't pass the smell test.

[Matt]

The only part that like again, that.

[Josh]

Bothered me about it was also the burn belly fat. Burn belly fat is a certain type of steroid. It's like, that's not.

[Eugene]

It only gets you jacked. It doesn't break burn any fat.

[Matt]

Yeah. And he called it a steroid.

[Josh]

You also can't. You can't spot reduce fat. Am I right?

[Eugene]

Yeah, it's got to be from the whole percentage.

[Josh]

Yeah, that's a huge. That's definitely a huge gay life. He can't. You can't body. You can't spot. There's nothing that spot reduces fat on your body.

[Eugene]

They bring in just like a resident like bodybuilder. Be like, you can't. I mean, there's no steroid that does that. They just have rich piano being like, you can't. That's not. No steroid alive does that.

[Matt]

The. The Nigerian guys did do a thing though, that did trigger it all this usually triggers. My thing is they are putting out a book about it. And the book thing. Yeah, the book thing is always. That's like. You know, you always like, people are like, aliens are real and I'll tell you all about them.

[Josh]

Yeah.

[Matt]

And from being so into the alien, it has me now. Like.

[Josh]

You're kind of late on the book, though. That book would have crushed if they wrote it like four years ago.

[Matt]

Timed it out with the doctor. They might have. He didn't even really know the title that was. The funny part is they were like.

[Josh]

It's like a money grab. Like if you're the president, you do a book because, you know, everyone will. It'll. It'll be pumped on the bestseller.

[Eugene]

Is Jesse doing the. The book or. Or the Nigerian brothers and the One of the room.

[Matt]

Because we're doing a book. It's called why you would. What is it called again? Like, that's what he did to the other brother was so funny.

[Josh]

But you know what it's called?

[Matt]

He. He did get it, but it's like a long dumb name. Like, why would you fake something for attention. Something. Something. The Juicy Smooth.

[Josh]

Like, it's kind of such a funny title.

[Matt]

It looked like they thought about it right then.

[Josh]

It's called Bigger Than Jussie. The Disturbing need for a Modern Day Lynching.

[Matt]

Yeah. Yeah.

[Josh]

Damn. Yeah, some. Some Republican think tank definitely was like, guys, although we'll give you the bag. Yeah, but like the book will be nice, dude. I mean, what audience written by J.D. vance.

[Eugene]

Hillbilly Elegy too actually is what they're gonna call.

[Josh]

Yeah. That's bizarre.

[Matt]

Yeah, it was a. It was a funny watch. It was. I don't know, it was. Bummed me out. Bummed me out that it was like a whole thing for so long watching people get worked up about it. They had. They're playing all those clips of people being like, this is a terrible thing during like the first couple days.

[Josh]

People bid on that hard.

[Matt]

Yeah, they jumped right on it.

[Josh]

Yeah, people bit on that pretty hard.

[Matt]

But it was all the people you think would. Yeah, goes like John Legend, obviously.

[Josh]

Yeah, he's. I have. He's been quiet though. You haven't heard much from him. He. He was popping for a little bit on all that stuff and now he's kind of chilled.

[Matt]

I think he has like a. I mean, I noticed from my girl he's got like a skin care thing and they were giving it away and I'm not gonna lie, I have some. They were giving it away.

[Josh]

John Legend lotion.

[Matt]

It's even worse. I haven't used it yet, but I have like a spray that you're supposed to spray.

[Josh]

John Legend spray Ordinary People. Y. I was like the other day.

[Matt]

Because I started to put it on, but I don't want to like my face. So I was like, what is this? And then it's like you're supposed to shower spray it on your face. Like either after you shave or.

[Josh]

What's it do? Reduces belly fat. I want to get those Nigerian steroids.

[Matt]

Just reduce belly fat. Don't do nothing else. Yeah, that's all I know.

[Josh]

I got 3, 500 bucks I don't need. I got a mission for somebody if they want to go to Nigeria to get steroids back. Back. 3, 5, 3, 500 for two brothers just to travel to Nigeria.

[Eugene]

And also just. Just one cycle. Steroids. Like that's not. That's not really feasible long term. You can just get one. You got to keep.

[Josh]

And I don't know how many. Wasn't he already kind of shredded?

[Matt]

He was already.

[Josh]

If he was doing. If this is true, and he was just trying to get some belly fat off of himself. So funny, the mess he's in.

[Matt]

So funny.

[Josh]

Even better.

[Eugene]

Murphy. Murphy's Law.

[Josh]

Damn, dude, I'm looking kind of flabby. I need to send those brothers back to Nigeria. I'm going to suck their dicks and then send them back. Well, hopefully, you know, hopefully it figures out what's going on. I'd like the truth on the matter, if I'm being honest.

[Matt]

That was the worst part of Doc. You go into it thinking like, all right, this is going to get to the truth. And then it gets to the end. They're like, we still don't know. And I was like, no, I think we did know. And you guys are trying to make it look like we don't know.

[Josh]

Did they ever do. Did they press the issue on the brothers having sex with Jussie Smollett?

[Matt]

No, I couldn't. Kind of just.

[Josh]

They didn't do that. I mean, that's what everyone was wondering.

[Matt]

Yeah, it's because of the pictures that those guys post. Like, they. The ones that. I mean, if you watch the doc, I know what people are already going to say about me when they hear me talk like this, but if you watch that doc, when you see the picture they show this, it's like, oh, that's like. It's like a gay guy's picture to take.

[Josh]

Was he doing, like, modeling or something?

[Matt]

I think it did say that he was a model on there, but that sucks.

[Josh]

They leaked the underwear photos.

[Matt]

Just. I mean, he had it on his gram. Like, I think it was. I think they were just pulling him straight from his.

[Eugene]

What kind of posing was he? Like, was like.

[Matt]

Like.

[Eugene]

Like muscle poses or is it, like, just gay poses?

[Matt]

Well, what made it to me gay is how small, Like, I don't know, wearing little, like, shorts this big on.

[Josh]

I mean, maybe short shorts.

[Matt]

They were like tiny little shorts.

[Josh]

That's weird. It was like hot pants. I thought they were briefs.

[Matt]

Ah. I'll be honest. I didn't. I didn't lock in on it. I was like, I find allegations in my head.

[Josh]

Have you ever watched Saltburn?

[Matt]

Huh?

[Josh]

Have you ever watched Saltburn, the movie?

[Matt]

Movie? No.

[Josh]

Anyone here watch that before? I just. It's. I think it's from a couple years ago. I just watched it. There's. It's like a. It's all right. The movie's all right. The. There's a scene in it. Usually I can watch anything without, like, being like, oh, recoil.

[Eugene]

Is it the grave thing?

[Josh]

The grave thing was nothing. Okay, there's the grave. By the time there was a grave thing, by the way, I heard that was improvised.

[Eugene]

Really?

[Josh]

Yeah, I heard that wasn't in the script. And that actor just got it.

[Eugene]

Created spirit.

[Josh]

Yeah, his creative spirit took over what happens. He just. He just. Like a guy's grave at the end of it. Which. But that, to me, honestly, felt kind of overdone. There was a scene where the dude. He's watching a dude jerk off in a bathtub. I don't really know. This is kind of a major spoiler alert. But he, like. He, like, kind of watches in the wings. And as soon as the guy, like, gets up to leave, he's, like, draining the bath water, and the dude jumps into the tub and just drinks the very last bit of the bath water. And it was like.

[Matt]

Like, hey, you.

[Josh]

Dude. It was. It was so up. Usually I can watch stuff. I'm like, whatever. I saw that, and I was just like, ah. Then I. Dude, I. I'm in bed, I'm next to my wife, and obviously I haven't put my hands on my pants. She's like, why are you putting your hands on your pants now? I'm like, bro, don't even try. Yeah, don't even accuse me of that. It was Faith for real.

[Matt]

You just happened to go for a.

[Josh]

Ball grab, and she's like, I was comforting myself. If anything, I just got rocked by a bathtub. Come drink. And, dude, he went for it. The movie was actually. It was. It was a cool movie.

[Matt]

Said he was jerking off in there.

[Josh]

Jerking off in the tub.

[Matt]

I thought you. I thought he was.

[Eugene]

He was a guy in the tub. He's jerking off into it. Or the guy.

[Josh]

He's just. The guy's just having a good old time fabbing in the tub. And then the guy, he brings his freak to his house to, like, meet his family. He's like, thanks to friends or whatever. And the dude, like, you got to see the movie, but the guy. The movie, it is kind of cool, but it just. It gets, like. Towards the end, you're like, all right, man. It just kind of gets. It's a little bit much. Yeah, imagine that. And then, like, 20 minutes later, he's humping a grave. You're like, all right.

[Matt]

Yeah, that's a.

[Ad Reader]

This is an ad by Butter help. Or better help the help with the butter. It's nice. It's nice having someone you can try and work out all of life's problems with.

[Josh]

Who do you go to when you need event. Need advice? We just want to chat about life.

[Ad Reader]

I call you. I talk to you. True talk to you about partner. You are my partner and my friend, my co host. Oh, they knew it was coming.

[Josh]

Look at that.

[Ad Reader]

I don't go to the group chat like this suggests because you're not going to get good advice. You're going to be met with a lot of animosity and racial slurs and things.

[Josh]

Yeah. My pet. I haven't gone to my pet for advice, but I have kind of vibed with my pet on another level. Beef. But whoever you turn to, your friend, your mom, your partner, your bartender, they're not going to have all the answers you're looking for. Unfortunately.

[Ad Reader]

Luckily, they're gonna say that about my mom. Butterhope's gonna say that about my mom.

[Josh]

That's crazy because I feel like my.

[Ad Reader]

Mommy knows what's my mom has answers. Nice try. Better help.

[Josh]

Therapy can help fill in the blanks. Unlike just chatting with a friend, therapy has helped me.

[Ad Reader]

If you feel comfortable, talk about your experience in therapy.

[Josh]

I don't feel comfortable. I don't feel comfortable. I do not.

[Ad Reader]

Please respect.

[Josh]

I actually don't even like being asked whether I feel comfortable.

[Matt]

Comfortable.

[Ad Reader]

The help of the better. You better respect our or how we feel about things.

[Josh]

Thank you. Thank you for actually asking the question, but I don't feel comfortable about that. Guys, see the difference yourself. BetterHelp can connect you to some great professional therapist. They're all carefully vetted to ensure you get quality care. And it's literally at your fingertips. Everything is completely online. Just fill out a short questionnaire to get matched. As the largest online therapy provider in the world, BetterHelp can provide access to mental health professionals. Yeah, no, sorry. To mental health professionals. Excuse me. With a diverse variety of expertise.

[Ad Reader]

Okay.

[Josh]

Thank you. Thank you.

[Ad Reader]

God, I love talking to you.

[Josh]

I need.

[Ad Reader]

I, I.

[Josh]

Could I just touch your foot while I do this next time? Can I just please touch you while I do this next time?

[Ad Reader]

Matt, I would appreciate if you respected my boundaries. Better help. You need to help this man. He's. He's just accosted me. Find one with better help. The help with the better. Our listeners get 10 off their first month at betterhelp.com MSSP that's better. H E L P.com Pete Matt, what you've done is disgusting.

[Josh]

I need to talk to someone now. Dude.

[Matt]

Oh, I just watched a freaky ass movie. You Ever either. Y' all ever see the assessment? It's. I mean, it's. It's kind of. Kind of nice at the beginning. It's. What's that? Olsen twin. That's not the twins. The. The older one, Kate. She.

[Josh]

She's Elizabeth.

[Matt]

Elizabeth, yeah. She's in there. She's showing titties. Like, it has to be the first 20 minutes of the movie. Just like, what? Just. Just in the rain, see through shirts, titties. It's a lot of that. So that's pretty nice. And. But it's a. What the story is. It's like post apocalyptic. And the assessment is like, I guess there's not a lot of resources, so you have to be approved by the government to have a kid. So what they do is they send a grown woman to your house to basically assess. Like, the grown woman comes to their house and acts like a kid. Kid. And they. And I guess you have to like, see if your parents.

[Josh]

Bro, this is the freakiest I've ever heard of.

[Matt]

I didn't. I like. I just was looking for my girl. I started to bring this up last week. Start talking about those movies you like.

[Josh]

Freakiest movie ever, bro. It's a cool idea. How's it play out?

[Matt]

So. So like at some point, like, they. They go. They're. They're trying to just like she gets there.

[Josh]

What age does this lady pretend she is, is the question.

[Matt]

She's. She's gotta be pretending to be like five. She's like, @ some point. At some point. She just like. They're. They're sitting there eating and she just like, does one of those to the food on the thing. But like, I mean, she's so. She's like. And it's like a hot Spanish lady. They have like this hot Spanish lady that they keep showing naked pretending to be a kid at some. I don't want to speak.

[Josh]

It's Hollywood, bro. You're getting deep in Hollywood.

[Matt]

It's crazy. There's this one scene. I don't want to spoil it because.

[Josh]

No, that's fine.

[Matt]

The movie wasn't even. The movie wasn't ass is. But it is weird. I'm sitting there like. I keep turning my girls. Yo, this because she picked it. I was like, this is the freakiest. Oh, actually my plan might have been working the whole time, but I didn't realize it. Yeah, but it's.

[Josh]

There's like a bedrock. She picked the movie.

[Matt]

She picked it.

[Josh]

And it was of a. Oftentimes showing her tits. Hot lady was pretending to Be five.

[Eugene]

Child play.

[Matt]

Well, I don't think because we watched the trailer beforehand, it didn't look like it was going to be as freaky as it was. For sure. Yeah, it just like. And it shows her tits a little bit, but they showed Elizabeth Olsen's tits.

[Josh]

Wait, who's Elizabeth Olsen playing?

[Matt]

She's the mom. She's like the. She's the.

[Josh]

They keep showing her tits.

[Matt]

They just happen to keep showing her tits.

[Josh]

It's such a hack for movies to, like. I'm saying hack, not like, calling it. Yeah, I'm saying it's like a hack. Like a life hack.

[Eugene]

Yeah.

[Josh]

They just figured out, like, you can just show tits and it made it look artistic.

[Matt]

I'm not gonna hold you. I'm watching tits.

[Eugene]

Do movie seem like.

[Josh]

Well, you see, if you see, like, tits in a movie, you're like, it's pretty cool.

[Matt]

And. And they did.

[Josh]

It wasn't like a waste of time. I saw a giant rack.

[Matt]

I got to see Elizabeth Olson's tits. Didn't think that would happen to me in my life.

[Josh]

Yeah.

[Matt]

What's her name? Was she Wanda? Wanda in the Marvel universe?

[Josh]

W. She was Wanda.

[Matt]

She was Wanda. She's like a big part of the Marvel universe. Yeah. Scarlet Wish. That's it. And. But there's like a scene where she leaves. Like, basically she gets a call to, like, her sisters and having an emergency, she has to go there. And there's been all this, like, underlying sexual tension with the lady pretending to be a baby.

[Josh]

Could imagine, because she's like.

[Matt]

She's like, jumping on the dad's back. He's got to give her anything. And if he doesn't. That's the thing that. It's like the crazy loophole is if he doesn't act like a good dad to this adult woman pretending to be a kid, like, they're not going to get. They can't have a real kid.

[Josh]

How far do they push the line? It's a question.

[Matt]

I mean, they go with the.

[Josh]

The two in the movie, like, so she's jumping on his back.

[Matt]

That's.

[Josh]

You got tits on back. That's already a yellow card.

[Matt]

It's already. And it happens.

[Josh]

How far do they go?

[Matt]

They. They, they.

[Josh]

So what happens to be the kid lady?

[Matt]

The kid lady set him up, though.

[Eugene]

It wasn't always a test. So he can't.

[Matt]

It was like. So what happened is, I guess they. That. That call that the wife got, that's like, your sister's having an emergency. I need to leave. Leave. And. And she and she pretended she couldn't leave for a second. And then she does leave because the lady's like, fine, we'll give you. You have two hours. You got to be back in two hours or whatever. And. And so while that happens, he goes to lay down and then the lady pretending to be a baby just pops up in the bedroom and just grabs his meat. And it's just kind of the. The vibe she puts out. It does seem like she's going to. Your lady's not here. I want to. You. You want to pass this test? You gotta let me. You. So he's thinking like, I really want to have this baby with my lady. I gotta. I mean, also, he's like, I'm a. This lady.

[Josh]

Yeah.

[Matt]

But he. It is kind of like a reverse rape scene. Like, she does. He kind of.

[Josh]

She coerces him.

[Matt]

She coerces him. But he's never. The whole time, he's like staring like, I can't believe I'm doing.

[Josh]

How do they communicate all that in the dick rap? Because couldn't it just been like I'm a kid.

[Matt]

She talks. Oh, she starts.

[Eugene]

Did she do like a kid voice?

[Matt]

No, she's talking like, she goes. So she goes full on adult in that moment.

[Josh]

Yeah. Oh, she's like, if you want to have a baby, you need to me.

[Matt]

And then he. And then he. He busted. And he rolls over. Like, I don't know why that was funny to me. Like, just. I can't believe I had sex is how.

[Eugene]

But that sounds like something I would do. Oh, I can't believe I had sex.

[Matt]

But I don't even. I. I could spoil the end, but I. It's just.

[Josh]

No. Yeah, that's good. Leave it open.

[Matt]

Yeah, it is.

[Josh]

It.

[Matt]

I. Is it?

[Josh]

Honestly, I guess the. They always pie in movies. Nobody pulls out movies.

[Matt]

Yeah, he pied p. He p. He. He's sad pod. And. Oh, man.

[Josh]

Yeah.

[Matt]

I don't want to spoil the rest of the case. My wife for real wasn't an ass movie. And it is a movie. Like, I do think. I don't know. I think you.

[Josh]

So let's. Let's jump to this so we don't spoil the ending.

[Matt]

Yeah.

[Josh]

What'd you guys do after the movie? Movie?

[Matt]

I can't. I definitely. We definitely. That day. I'm trying to remember if it was before or after the movie. So, like, I think if I remember right, that was a before. Like, we order food before food because, you know, getting older.

[Josh]

Stuff.

[Matt]

I do miss the days where you could go out Munch. And then get a good. Like, now if I'm full, I'm like, yeah, you're done. I'm checked out. Maybe get some black seed oil. Bring myself pray does it Nice. Break out my meat.

[Josh]

Dude, I. I was telling Sean last night, we. We went to. So we did the Oasis concert. Yeah. And, dude, it was. First of all, I just forgot how big Oasis was of a band. Yeah, they're a massive, like.

[Matt]

What were they performing?

[Josh]

Soldier Field.

[Matt]

Oh.

[Josh]

So it was just. They're only doing, like, I think, like, five cities in America. So we go. And again, I only remember, like, their major, major hits from back in the day.

[Matt]

Wonder Woman.

[Josh]

Yeah. Like, wonderful. Don't Look Back in Anger. There's the other one. What's. There was a. There's another supernova or something. Champagne supernova.

[Matt]

Yeah.

[Josh]

Yeah. So go there. And I was a little sleepy because I flew in that day, and I'm like, I'm kind of tired. I might as well drink some espresso martinis. I drank espresso martini. I drank a cup of coffee. You know, I'm caffeine sensitive.

[Matt]

I see.

[Josh]

So, dude, I. I do that to get charged up. And then, like, you know, once that's flowing, it's like I start drinking, and we're in like a kind of like a box thing. So we're like, dude, this sucks in the box. Let's just go down and, like, stand on the floor. But I had being, like, kind of already drunk and just massively stemmed up. I bought a giant bottle of Class Azul.

[Matt]

Yeah.

[Josh]

And right before we go down, I. I won't give the person's name away. I don't know how they feel about it, but they were like, do you want some acid?

[Matt]

Yeah.

[Josh]

And we're like, yeah, fine, Fine. So we take it. We take it just a little bit, and then we go down. And then, like, I had also smuggled the bottle of Class A's all down the floor. So I was like, I just got this. I was like, I'm not gonna just let it go to waste. So I stuffed it down the back of my pants and put. Tied my sweatshirt around my waist. Dude, they're like. They're like this big. The bottle is enormous. So I had it like a battery pack. And I was just like, let's go. And I was just, you know, I was like, spud and Billy were there, and I'm happy having them cover behind me. So we kind of kept it tight in formation. And, dude, I just, like, we get down to this, like, general standing area, and I, like, pop it out, and I just set it down and put my sweatshirt on it. And I would, like. People would be walking and, like, kind of be like, what the is that? I'd pull my sweatshirt off, and I think, like, eventually, like, that first little bit of acid started kicking in. I'd be like, dude, I brought down a bottle. Class A, so help yourself. And then people, like, okay. And then people started actually drinking it, and then we took more. And, dude, I. It was. I mean, thank God we did, because I would have drank so much of that tequila and just been. Instead, it was like, dude, I. It's. I'm excited for Shane to get back so we can actually, like, rehash it from, you know, everybody's perspective. But it was. Dude, I. First of all, I. I, embarrassingly, was just jumping around to Oasis two hours, like. And then I would. I would sit there, and I would have to, like, Everyone would get thirsty, and whenever I'm, like, kind of tripping, I think it's fun to go off on quests.

[Matt]

Yeah.

[Josh]

So I would be like, you. I had to walk all the way up these flights of stairs to get water. So I was like, guys, I'll be back. I'll take your water. And I went up the stair first. I was in a line down on the floor level first. And I was, first of all, just waiting in line. And I was like, just. I kept laughing about how torturous it is just to wait in line in general. I was like, dude, it's like an arrow to your. Like, the part of your brain that feels important is just getting launched every second with an arrow. Yeah. I'm just laughing, being like, dude, standing in line is so funny. It's torture. But you're just really standing there, and I'm just, like, sitting there with this dude. I don't. I think he was, like, kind of a Mexican dude. So I'm just, like, talking to this guy, and I'm, like, just tripping, talking about standing in line, how funny it is. And he's like, yeah, I'm trying to get some coke, man. And I was like, oh, cool, dude. Dude. Well, good luck with that.

[Matt]

He thought you were the guy.

[Josh]

I. Dude, I was. I was bucked. And then he. He was like, if we go all the way upstairs, we can. I heard we can. There's no line if we, like, walk all the way up there. So that's how we discovered, like, to get water.

[Matt]

Yeah.

[Josh]

So all night, I would just be vibing to Oasis I would catch my bros, and they. I'd like, we need to get water. Because I would just. I would see Shane standing there going, we. We were fucking bucked. And I'd be like, you guys want some water? They'd be like, yes, please.

[Matt]

And I, like, was.

[Josh]

Would just trudge up, like, 30 flights of steps and then just look into the concession bar, you know, core water. It's like those plastic water bottles with a weird shape. Yeah. There would just be an end. Literally an infinite supply of those things. And I was like, I'll have seven core waters, please. They kept giving me a little cardboard tray to carry them down, and eventually they ran out of the cardboard, so I had to just, like, hug all the waters. Dude, it was so much fun.

[Matt]

But the.

[Josh]

The. The main. The main thing was make the trip. How many water? Three or four. I went by at one point. My feet were soaking. I didn't know your feet sweat from acid.

[Matt]

I don't know.

[Josh]

Mine did, so. Because they kept being like, dude, I think it's kicking in more. I was like, this is fine.

[Matt]

First time doing it. I've never done it.

[Josh]

Doing it like that.

[Matt]

Yeah, for sure.

[Josh]

I've done, like, a little bit of it before, but never enough to where I was like. Like, kind of launched.

[Matt]

Yeah, I've never done it.

[Josh]

It was so sick. It might be the best ever, honestly. But, dude, my feet were, like, soaking wet, and I was like, I don't know if this is just, like, a feeling I'm getting.

[Matt]

Sweating.

[Josh]

They were. I was sweating like a pig. I confirmed later on. But, dude, so I. I go afterwards, like, it ends, and we, like, we're hanging in this, like, back area just talking for, like, an hour. We finally go back to Shane's room, talk for, like, another two hours, and then it's like. And I was. I was hanging on to the chill because I knew I was like. Because it was wearing off. And I drank all that caffeine. They were making fun of me because I kept being like, I had too much caffeine, guys. Like, dude, you're on acid right now. It's not the brown. So I brought one of those giant fat joints. Yeah, I brought one of those, thinking that, like, people would want to smoke it. Only, like, two people did. So I was just facing a bat, and they had the class Azul. And I was, like, giving that out to people. They were skeptical. And I'm like, guys, I'll drink it to show you it's not lazy. I was just on acid, completely impervious. To alcohol crushing tequila and being like, here, dude, it's good, trust me. And dude, it was by the end the bot. So the bottle got crushed. Someone showed. Some people are passing around. They're like, it's done. I'm like, good job, you guys.

[Matt]

Yeah. And then strangers that you met when.

[Josh]

You got down, I like squatted up with some strangers down there. But then like, I had. My sweatshirt was just laying on the ground. Cuz I was like, I don't care about that sweatshirt anymore. And as I was going to leave, I was like, oh, I left my sweatshirt. A guy out of nowhere goes, here it is. And just threw the sweatshirt up. And I was like, okay, so now I have my sweatshirt. I'm like, damn, the sweatshirt found me. That's so tight. But dude. So I go, finally I'm like, I'm. Shane would be like, oh man, we should probably call it soon. I'm like, yeah, let's just hang out for a little longer. I knew I was like, I'm gonna go back to my room and freak the outfit mix. I, I, it was just, I don't, it was ending and it was like, yeah, I, I think it was the caffeine, really. And I knew what I was in store for because if I have too much caffeine, I just lay there and like, my heart's off. My like, chest feels tight. And I was like, I don't want to deal with this while I'm kind of tripping. That'll be terrible. Finally he's like, dude. Because I had to fly the next day to go to like day like a, like a kid thing.

[Matt]

How early was the flight?

[Josh]

Dude? I literally, the flight was 1pm yeah, but it was like I'd been up all night. I didn't, I like, I was trying to figure out like, what time do I have to get up? Yeah, but I just set all my, I like, looked at my alarms. It's like set like 45 alarms. Yeah. But yeah, so I finally, I go like, all right, go back to my room. I'm like, dude, here comes the hurt locker. And I walk in and I'm just like, like, oh my God, I should pack. I'm like full on Jordan Peterson. Like, I'm gonna clean up here and get this room in order. And like, like walking back and forth like, yes, these are my pants. I'll fold these up here. And everything just took so long. I slowly started being like, dude, exact normal. You're fine. You're just packing your clothes. Everything's fine. And I was like, yeah, but I could feel that caffeine feeling. I'm like, dude, this sucks. And then I was like, I was like, all right, I'm going through my routine. I start brushing my teeth. Finally caught the mirror. And I. And my first thought was like, like, it's all been leading to this. Stand there in the mirror, and it's like, dude, all right, you feel you're not feeling great right now. You're a little anxious. How about you just, like, actually show up for yourself for once? Like, it's in my head. Just like, how about you show up for yourself and you get super present? And I just, like, stirred in the mirror and I was like, I'm here now, dude. Instantly just. I was like, shut the up. And I was like, no, damn it. All right. And then.

[Matt]

And then you said, I'm here now. And then told yourself.

[Josh]

And in my head was like, dude, shut up, you dork. And I was like, all right, right, fair enough. Let me finish packing my clothes robotically. And then, dude. So I. I laid there, I packed my clothes and I just laid in bed. And it was just like, dude, I. I can't sleep. I'm in a hurt locker. I'm just laying there. My heart is just like. It's the caffeine. Plus I'm still tripping. So I'm like, just feeding into it in this endless loop. So I'm going on, like, breathing exercises on my YouTube to calm myself. Doing just like, any. Any. I'm like. And I can't type. I'm like, spaz. Typing, breathing, relaxation, anxiety into YouTube. And finally, so I get this one breathing exercise. I'm like, all right, that's cool. And then it cuts out and I'm like, oh, what happened? Straight back to zero. And then I get another one. And it's like. It's like almost like hypnosis, where he's like, do this. Breathe in this. Imagine this. And then they're like, if there's any tension in your body, give it a color. And I'm like, yes, yes, yes, it's red. I'm like imagining red. I'm like, all right, I got this. And it's like, like, now give it a shape. And it was like multi dimensional poly. And I was like, that would turn into like a spiked dragon. I was like, dude, you got a red dragon. It was just like. It just was like a amorphous.

[Eugene]

Like, like, close my eyes.

[Josh]

And it was just like new dimensions of physical exam. Like, this isn't working very well. So I lay there, and I'm trying to give it a shape, and then, like, it starts dissolving and coming back. Because you're supposed to, like, give the feeling a color, then a shape, and then allow it to dissolve into, like. Like, whatever else it is. And. But I was just. My visuals are too strong.

[Eugene]

Kept dissolving the new things, dude.

[Josh]

It was like it was transforming into different things, like, at a million miles an hour. And I was like, all right, this isn't helping me with my eyes closed. And then eventually, I. I had gotten stuck on the fact that I had gotten cut out of just through, like, constant caffeine use, nicotine, and whatever else that I had, like, disconnected myself from God's natural rhythm of the day. Because it was like, I'd been up all night. I hadn't slept. I'm like, caffeine hangover. Yeah. I mean, everyone, obviously, there was llc, but that wasn't the problem, truly. That was.

[Matt]

That was.

[Eugene]

That was a solution for sure.

[Josh]

But I was laying there, and I was like, I just want to get back into the natural rhythm of the day. That's all I want. Just get me back into God's natural rhythm, please, dude. And I just, like, laid there, and I had to lay there for, like, hours for, like, that caffeine thing to fall away. I was. Eventually. It was only black box Bible quote. Just like, they're like, dude, please help me.

[Eugene]

And you had your Bible study.

[Josh]

John, the Gospel of John on the YouTube. It was actually very nice.

[Matt]

What's. What's John say that calls you kind.

[Josh]

Of the chillest of all the gospels?

[Matt]

Okay.

[Josh]

I don't know. It. First of all, the beginning. I didn't realize. He starts, like. He goes back to, like, almost Genesis in the beginning.

[Eugene]

And I'm like, dude, it's like, the word.

[Josh]

I'm like, all right, well, let's hope this word helps me out right now. And he goes, it was pretty cool that one was. It goes into John the Baptist from what I remembered. And listen to that. And, you know, all this stuff. It was tight. But then. But, yeah, I. Dude. And I woke up that morning and just had a, you know, fly to the air. I had to go to the airport, and it was just, you know, no sleep, just like. And. But yeah, ever since. Dude, no caffeine. Yeah. I've been back in the natural rhythm, and I'm like, I can't break it. I'm like. I'm, like, terrified to break out of natural rhythm. Right.

[Matt]

Just flashback to that. Oh, no.

[Josh]

I will I'll eventually. But I did get all my caffeine in it because I. I was, like, not sleeping that good because I'd always be on the caffeine, and then I wouldn't sleep because I knew I had the caffeine and I was in this, like, endless loop of poor sleep.

[Matt]

Yeah.

[Josh]

That. I was just like, dude, just. There was, like, a flash where I was, like, night and day, rising and falling with it, not artificially titillating myself. And, like, it's been actually really nice.

[Matt]

You're back on the right side.

[Josh]

My circadian's locked in right now. And then there's also. So, I mean, dude, cold turkey, nicotine, caffeine. I'd already been stepping down. No problem.

[Matt]

Yeah.

[Josh]

That's my new thing. I'm gonna start saying that during any nicotine ad reads. Be like, dude, it's literally not addictive. All you have to do is do LSD's natural rhythm. All you have to do is. You'll see and get back to God's natural rhythm. But I do feel great. I feel pretty fantastic.

[Matt]

Hell, yeah.

[Josh]

Yeah. So the first. The first, I will say the day after, it was a lack of sleep thing, but. But. So it was a little wobbly. The head was a little. I would, like, just be driving and be like, man, everything's cool. And I'd see a bumper sticker like, war as Hell. And I'd be like, no.

[Matt]

Did you say. You get.

[Josh]

You were just thinking about, like, 40 billion things, like, yeah, it is, I guess. All right, let's go. Come on. I was trying to get back from the grocery store.

[Matt]

Like, is that residual acid? Is that what they're like?

[Josh]

I don't. I think it was. It really was a lack of sleep. But, yeah, I feel like the next day after, because I look like stayed up all night, was in the Hurt Locker, and then I, like, woke up on an hour of sleep and then flew home and just did, like, full family day, like, going to, like, a dance, dance recital, all this stuff, which was cool. It was very chill. But, yeah, there was, like, the next day, even I was fine. But, like, I could hit a thought loop where I'd be like, shut it down, dude. Don't even go down that. Just chill. And then I was like, the. I got, like, three good nights of sleep.

[Matt]

Yeah.

[Josh]

I mean, if the second day I was fine. Once I got good sleep, I was cool, but I was definitely a little. My wife was like, are you all right? You're a little quiet. And I was like, joan, shrooms.

[Matt]

Won't hit you like this.

[Eugene]

I like. I think for the ass. I like the acid over. I don't have done it once, but like with the thought loops for acid, I feel like you can.

[Josh]

You can cut them off.

[Eugene]

You can cut them off. Whereas shrooms, I feel like they just keep going, but they don't linger, I.

[Matt]

Think, for the day. That's what I was thinking. We were saying. I've never. I've never done acid, but I've shrooms. I'll go through all those loops, but once the shrooms are done.

[Josh]

Oh, you're chill. Yeah.

[Matt]

And you just have those thoughts like you still remember them. But you were like, those are kind of positive. I think I'll take those with me.

[Josh]

Yeah, I don't know. I want to. I'll definitely try it again. I'll try it under different circumstances where I'm not like out all night and just obviously jacked up on too much caffeine and a bat and crushing. But yeah, I don't know. It was definitely. It was cool. It was definitely awesome. But it. It does. The next day I was kind of thrown, but I do think, like, if you stay up all night, it'll get whacked out.

[Matt]

Good thing you were locked in a.

[Josh]

Lot of the waters, dude. I drank, so you didn't get locked so much waters.

[Matt]

That would have been detrimental.

[Josh]

What happened to me early on. What happened early on is I went there and, you know, again I'm like. I don't have like a particular, like nor dislike for Oasis. I was always like, yeah, I remember their songs, they're cool. But I get there and like right away I'm all my. I like. The screen comes up, I'm going, who the did these cheesy ass graph. I was just, just being. Just being nasty. I'm like, these guys are so old. Anytime I would think when they started kicking in, if I thought a negative thought, it would hurt my whole body and I'd be like, ah, this is going to be a long night. This isn't going to be good. And then I was able to somehow be like, like downregulate. All negative thinking is off now just as like a survival thing. And I just ended up having the gayest funnest time ever.

[Eugene]

That's awesome.

[Josh]

Just jumping around to Oasis like a little five year old.

[Eugene]

Do you sing along with any of the.

[Josh]

Any of the tracks? Probably if I had. If I. If the songs I knew, but I don't. I honestly don't really remember singing along.

[Eugene]

Yeah, I Feel like don't. Don't look back in anger would be kind of a. The whole crowd to be ripping that.

[Josh]

Yeah. And eventually I did get into the screen pretty hard. I was like, these visuals actually are pretty sick. But no, it's. It's. It is easier to control, for sure. Like, it's way easier.

[Eugene]

Yeah.

[Josh]

I feel like if you do too much, obviously, you probably. That's when it gets bad.

[Eugene]

I don't know. I just remember trying to write down creative ideas last time I did it.

[Josh]

Oh, dude.

[Eugene]

And looking at them the next day. I mean, like, I wrote down. I thought it was great. It says, everything is about sex.

[Josh]

Burgers, sex.

[Eugene]

While I was watching. I was watching luxury fragrance commercials, and I watched a bunch of them. I was like, they're all about. If you smell like this, you can get, like, freaking, dude.

[Josh]

There was a. I sent myself an email halfway through, thinking it was, like, the coolest. I thought it was the coolest ever. And I was like, dude, I think literally Wonderwall came on and Shane's just, like, staring at them, playing a Wonderwall. And I was like, do you want to read my email? I wrote to myself. He was just like, dude, not right now. This is the whole point of the concert.

[Matt]

This is the song we're all here for.

[Josh]

This is the email I was trying to interrupt his wonder wall for. I was, like, sitting there during a water trip. I wrote an email to myself and I thought. I was like, dude, this is the most profound thing that's ever been uttered. It was like, your nervous system is your responsibility, is your vehicle for making it through life. Please don't speed.

[Eugene]

Please don't speed. You. You were thinking about that caffeine the whole time.

[Josh]

I wrote that down. I was like, that'll change the world tomorrow. I kept trying, like, seriously, dude, you should read my email. And he'd be like, dude, no, I'm not reading your email.

[Matt]

You thought somebody's gonna read that and be like, holy.

[Josh]

Oh, my God. There was, like, 40 other emails that I was like, I can't send myself emails all night. I have to chill. I gotta chill and enjoy Oasis.

[Eugene]

Gonna start a revolution for my bed.

[Josh]

It was fun. It was very funny. The email was cracking me up. I was like. It just sat in my pocket. I was like, I can't believe that. Emails in my pocket right now. Such a sick email to myself.

[Matt]

The secrets to the universe in my pocket right now.

[Josh]

There was another one. There was a bunch of stuff I started to, like, write, and I was like. Like, it's just a waste of time not doing this. It was so fun though. Yeah, we got the Ella. Well, do you guys have anything you guys want to plug? Anything you guys want to Jake the plug.

[Matt]

You go. I was gonna say panties in the mouth, please. Listen, optimum knock this. The next one is September 16th. Please come to that. They would been great. Thanks again. That of course. And oh, and I'm going to be at Atlanta Helium October 23rd. Please, please come to that.

[Eugene]

I'm going to be in Dallas on October 26th at Dallas Comedy Club. It's a Sunday, 7pm if you can make it, you can find tickets just go to my Instagram at Eganism.

[Matt]

Hell yeah.

[Eugene]

Yeah. Thank you. Thanks, Matt for having me on. Appreciate it.

[Josh]

Of course, bro.

[Matt]

Yeah. Thank you, man.

[Josh]

Of course.