Matt and Shane's Secret Podcast – Ep 587: PHIL (feat. Steve Gerben & Chris O’Connor)

Release Date: November 26, 2025
Hosts: Matt McCusker & Shane Gillis
Guests: Steve Gerben & Chris O’Connor, plus “Phil” (Shane’s dad)
Theme: A hilarious, meandering Thanksgiving hang with stories from childhood, sports, family, single life, and awkward encounters—plus travel, local color, and reflections on fame and aging.

Episode Overview

This episode is an extended hang with the regular crew and special guest “Phil” (Shane’s dad), joined by Steve Gerben and Chris O’Connor. The guys recount chaotic family stories, reflect on growing up, coaching, dating, the rituals of the holiday season, and the oddities of sudden fame. It’s a warm, chaotic, and frequently laugh-out-loud funny snapshot of their lives and relationships, with the classic Matt & Shane blend of heartfelt absurdity and raunchy silliness.

Key Discussion Points & Insights

1. Opening Chatter & Thanksgiving Vibes

Show starts with chaotic greetings, poking fun at Phil’s nerves on the mic ([00:00]-[01:22]).
The group laments old coffee and bizarre food habits; playful roasting of each other’s quirks.
Missed plans to dress up as Pilgrims and Indians for Thanksgiving ([01:44]), with a dry acknowledgment: “I was fully against it, but then I realized, Phil, you wear a pilgrim.”

2. Phil’s Bombing Pedigree & Golf Stories

Phil is credited with teaching Shane and the crew how to “bomb” confidently in comedy ([02:03]).
Long stories about scrambling at a golf tournament with Billy, who swings “so hard, and the results are never any good” ([02:37]), and comedic retellings of on-course mishaps.
The “Ride of the Valkyries” played during golf cart pursuits—a classic antic ([03:45]).

3. Family Press Conferences, Cats, and Childhood Trauma

Joke about Phil’s “press conference” on girls’ basketball coaching, then a wild tangent about his dad killing a bunch of cats in rural Pennsylvania ([08:10]).
Memorable quote: “My dad put them in a box… put them in the creek and they went down over the dam. Three hours later, five or six came walking back.” — Phil ([08:41])
Further details: Horse accidentally stepping on kittens and a Shetland pony sold for stepping on a cat.

4. Small-Town Life and Animal Antics

Recollections of a rural childhood: having too many cats, a Shetland pony, a steer named Sambo (butchered), and improvised family rides ([09:47]).
Jokes about DUI laws extending to bikes, walking, and even riding a Shetland pony-drawn cart ([11:36]).

5. Coaching, Humility, and Championship Rings

Phil humbly discusses his success coaching girls’ basketball—“it’s all the kids and the head coach” ([07:05]).
The crew jokes about being the #1 women’s 6A basketball podcast ([07:58]).

6. Closing the Pool & Suburban Dad Fails

Phil describes botching the pool-closing process, thinking a submersible pump was working (“It’s just going right into the pool the whole time, Phil!”) ([13:02]).
A memorable physical comedy moment: Phil falling into the pool tarp during a thunderstorm ([13:52]).

7. Single Life & Dating App Woes

Steve details dating app experiences (then vs. now): “I was on the apps, I don’t know, six years ago. And nothing… absolutely nobody would call me. Now at least I’m getting dates.” — Steve ([21:25])
Extended riff on the difficulties men face on apps; mostly “nothing.” Hilarious mourning of self-esteem after “zero for 24 hours.”
Discussion of face-to-face dating vs. FaceTime, and Steve’s new hobby: line dancing at a local bar ([22:54]).

8. Family Dynamics and Generational Gaps

How Phil and Joan (Shane’s mom) met—old school, grade school story, dates with her twin sister ([18:26]).
Phil’s battle with his in-laws' schnauzer, Otto (“At the end, he became blind... I would shut the pocket door and just hear his face hitting the door... I would just sit in there and laugh” [19:37]).

9. The Pressures and Oddities of Moderate Fame

Both Steve and Shane reflect on being “hot chicks” for a night, i.e., being mobbed by fans at the bar ([34:43]).
“Once they get to a level of intoxication, they just, like, don’t leave you.” — Steve ([33:40])
Shane on graciousness with fans: “What are you, a psycho? Somebody comes up and they’re like a big fan… Of course, yeah.” ([38:09])

10. Drinking, Guilt, and Aging Bodies

Real talk about the toll of heavy drinking, weekends lost, and waking up with “a dead arm.”
On relapsing into drinking post-surgery: “I didn’t have a drink for over a hundred and some days… Things change. It’s football season.” — Phil ([41:00])
Riffing on late-night cravings: “This guy would order a thousand Big Macs, eat four of them in one sitting.” — Shane ([61:29])

11. Awkward Childhood and Family Anecdotes

“Pervert phone call” story—turns out to be a neighbor kid with asthma ([62:12]).
Growing up with embarrassing stories of puberty, puffy nipples, and self-draining them with a needle ([68:14]).

12. Sports Careers Ending in Humiliation

Painful recollections of last moments in sports: giving up sacks (“my last game of my senior year”), turnovers, or not making teams and growing late ([91:24], [94:00]).
“That’s how sports ends, though. You don’t end on top. You got humiliated and that’s it.” — Shane ([93:28])

13. Strange Positions in Sports & Cultural Stereotypes

Why lacrosse goalies, MLB pitchers, and hockey goalies are the “weird guys” of their sports ([89:01]).
Running jokes about Canadians, Native Americans, and odd mentalities in sports ([84:46], [85:00], [89:02]).

Notable Quotes & Memorable Moments

“He would chase you, and you’d have to run. Sambo had horns.” — Phil, on livestock growing up ([10:23])
“I was so tiny, my friends had a no jump rule against me when we played basketball.” — Steve ([64:49])
“Lovemaking is like a story unfolding.” — Steve, referencing the book Come As You Are, with the gang mercilessly mocking his “sex book”/red light “moves” ([47:33])
“Your dad eats pussy, ass up, dude!” — Shane to Steve, during a very uncomfortable riff as Phil listens in ([45:21])
“That’s the spectrum.” — Shane, summing up the range from sober to hungover to tipsy, and futility in fighting it ([41:29])
“I think that’s a little freak in there… you like that? You think that’s sexy?” — Shane, teasing Steve over his line dancing and lighting choices ([46:56])
“You can get a DUI on a bike, you can get it walking.” — Phil ([11:36])
“It’s only the holiday season, we’re probably not going to be drinking that much and not depressed at all.” — Shane, sarcastically ([74:13])
“If I wore [a Power Ranger suit] with confidence… but there’s no way I could.” — Shane ([87:49])
“I’m putting out some short stories, a lot of haiku—and I’m done.” — Shane, about his own “lovemaking style” ([47:43])

Timestamps for Important Segments

[02:00] — Phil teaches the art of “bombing” on stage.
[08:10] — Press conference bit shifts to cat-overpopulation horror stories.
[13:02] — Phil’s epic pool-shutting disaster.
[18:26] — The saga of Phil, Joan, and the twin sister.
[21:25] — Steve’s dating app misery and eventual “success.”
[22:54] — Steve gets deeply into line dancing and cowboy boots.
[34:43] — What it’s like being a “hot chick” at the bar (i.e., being recognized/followed as a semi-celeb).
[41:00] — Phil opens up about his dry streak from booze, followed by relapse.
[61:29] — Late-night food tirades—Matt and Chris’s “grub club” tales.
[62:12] — The pervert-caller asthma girl reveal.
[91:24] — Chris recounts fumbling in a crucial college lacrosse game.
[94:00] — Steve’s massive post-high school growth spurt story.
[96:00] — Hilarious medical exam for “testicle size” as a predictor of height.

Tone & Language

The episode is loose, irreverent, and frequently veers into the absurd or crass, but the warmth among the crew is unmistakable—classic “funniest podcast” matinee. Family members join in, boundaries are pushed (especially with sex talk and childhood humiliations), but it’s all underpinned by genuine affection and sharp, observational humor. Shane in particular navigates between being the instigator and protective son, while the guests fit seamlessly into the mix.

For Listeners Who Missed It…

This episode is a hilarious, scattershot mash of Thanksgiving family chaos, sports, getting older, rural childhood, and the strange dignity of small-town life. It’s full of memorable one-liners, awkward but loving family moments, and the kind of honesty that only comes out when everyone’s a little too comfortable together. Perfect pre-Thanksgiving listening for fans of unfiltered, rambling, but always engaging group hangs.

(Skip the ads and jump into the stories—ideally with a few drinks and your own dysfunctional crew.)

Matt and Shane's Secret Podcast – Ep 587: PHIL (feat. Steve Gerben & Chris O’Connor)

Episode Overview

Key Discussion Points & Insights

1. Opening Chatter & Thanksgiving Vibes

Show starts with chaotic greetings, poking fun at Phil’s nerves on the mic ([00:00]-[01:22]).
The group laments old coffee and bizarre food habits; playful roasting of each other’s quirks.
Missed plans to dress up as Pilgrims and Indians for Thanksgiving ([01:44]), with a dry acknowledgment: “I was fully against it, but then I realized, Phil, you wear a pilgrim.”

2. Phil’s Bombing Pedigree & Golf Stories

Phil is credited with teaching Shane and the crew how to “bomb” confidently in comedy ([02:03]).
Long stories about scrambling at a golf tournament with Billy, who swings “so hard, and the results are never any good” ([02:37]), and comedic retellings of on-course mishaps.
The “Ride of the Valkyries” played during golf cart pursuits—a classic antic ([03:45]).

3. Family Press Conferences, Cats, and Childhood Trauma

Joke about Phil’s “press conference” on girls’ basketball coaching, then a wild tangent about his dad killing a bunch of cats in rural Pennsylvania ([08:10]).
Memorable quote: “My dad put them in a box… put them in the creek and they went down over the dam. Three hours later, five or six came walking back.” — Phil ([08:41])
Further details: Horse accidentally stepping on kittens and a Shetland pony sold for stepping on a cat.

4. Small-Town Life and Animal Antics

Recollections of a rural childhood: having too many cats, a Shetland pony, a steer named Sambo (butchered), and improvised family rides ([09:47]).
Jokes about DUI laws extending to bikes, walking, and even riding a Shetland pony-drawn cart ([11:36]).

5. Coaching, Humility, and Championship Rings

Phil humbly discusses his success coaching girls’ basketball—“it’s all the kids and the head coach” ([07:05]).
The crew jokes about being the #1 women’s 6A basketball podcast ([07:58]).

6. Closing the Pool & Suburban Dad Fails

Phil describes botching the pool-closing process, thinking a submersible pump was working (“It’s just going right into the pool the whole time, Phil!”) ([13:02]).
A memorable physical comedy moment: Phil falling into the pool tarp during a thunderstorm ([13:52]).

7. Single Life & Dating App Woes

Steve details dating app experiences (then vs. now): “I was on the apps, I don’t know, six years ago. And nothing… absolutely nobody would call me. Now at least I’m getting dates.” — Steve ([21:25])
Extended riff on the difficulties men face on apps; mostly “nothing.” Hilarious mourning of self-esteem after “zero for 24 hours.”
Discussion of face-to-face dating vs. FaceTime, and Steve’s new hobby: line dancing at a local bar ([22:54]).

8. Family Dynamics and Generational Gaps

How Phil and Joan (Shane’s mom) met—old school, grade school story, dates with her twin sister ([18:26]).
Phil’s battle with his in-laws' schnauzer, Otto (“At the end, he became blind... I would shut the pocket door and just hear his face hitting the door... I would just sit in there and laugh” [19:37]).

9. The Pressures and Oddities of Moderate Fame

Both Steve and Shane reflect on being “hot chicks” for a night, i.e., being mobbed by fans at the bar ([34:43]).
“Once they get to a level of intoxication, they just, like, don’t leave you.” — Steve ([33:40])
Shane on graciousness with fans: “What are you, a psycho? Somebody comes up and they’re like a big fan… Of course, yeah.” ([38:09])

10. Drinking, Guilt, and Aging Bodies

Real talk about the toll of heavy drinking, weekends lost, and waking up with “a dead arm.”
On relapsing into drinking post-surgery: “I didn’t have a drink for over a hundred and some days… Things change. It’s football season.” — Phil ([41:00])
Riffing on late-night cravings: “This guy would order a thousand Big Macs, eat four of them in one sitting.” — Shane ([61:29])

11. Awkward Childhood and Family Anecdotes

“Pervert phone call” story—turns out to be a neighbor kid with asthma ([62:12]).
Growing up with embarrassing stories of puberty, puffy nipples, and self-draining them with a needle ([68:14]).

12. Sports Careers Ending in Humiliation

Painful recollections of last moments in sports: giving up sacks (“my last game of my senior year”), turnovers, or not making teams and growing late ([91:24], [94:00]).
“That’s how sports ends, though. You don’t end on top. You got humiliated and that’s it.” — Shane ([93:28])

13. Strange Positions in Sports & Cultural Stereotypes

Why lacrosse goalies, MLB pitchers, and hockey goalies are the “weird guys” of their sports ([89:01]).
Running jokes about Canadians, Native Americans, and odd mentalities in sports ([84:46], [85:00], [89:02]).

Notable Quotes & Memorable Moments

“He would chase you, and you’d have to run. Sambo had horns.” — Phil, on livestock growing up ([10:23])
“I was so tiny, my friends had a no jump rule against me when we played basketball.” — Steve ([64:49])
“Lovemaking is like a story unfolding.” — Steve, referencing the book Come As You Are, with the gang mercilessly mocking his “sex book”/red light “moves” ([47:33])
“Your dad eats pussy, ass up, dude!” — Shane to Steve, during a very uncomfortable riff as Phil listens in ([45:21])
“That’s the spectrum.” — Shane, summing up the range from sober to hungover to tipsy, and futility in fighting it ([41:29])
“I think that’s a little freak in there… you like that? You think that’s sexy?” — Shane, teasing Steve over his line dancing and lighting choices ([46:56])
“You can get a DUI on a bike, you can get it walking.” — Phil ([11:36])
“It’s only the holiday season, we’re probably not going to be drinking that much and not depressed at all.” — Shane, sarcastically ([74:13])
“If I wore [a Power Ranger suit] with confidence… but there’s no way I could.” — Shane ([87:49])
“I’m putting out some short stories, a lot of haiku—and I’m done.” — Shane, about his own “lovemaking style” ([47:43])

Timestamps for Important Segments

[02:00] — Phil teaches the art of “bombing” on stage.
[08:10] — Press conference bit shifts to cat-overpopulation horror stories.
[13:02] — Phil’s epic pool-shutting disaster.
[18:26] — The saga of Phil, Joan, and the twin sister.
[21:25] — Steve’s dating app misery and eventual “success.”
[22:54] — Steve gets deeply into line dancing and cowboy boots.
[34:43] — What it’s like being a “hot chick” at the bar (i.e., being recognized/followed as a semi-celeb).
[41:00] — Phil opens up about his dry streak from booze, followed by relapse.
[61:29] — Late-night food tirades—Matt and Chris’s “grub club” tales.
[62:12] — The pervert-caller asthma girl reveal.
[91:24] — Chris recounts fumbling in a crucial college lacrosse game.
[94:00] — Steve’s massive post-high school growth spurt story.
[96:00] — Hilarious medical exam for “testicle size” as a predictor of height.

Tone & Language

For Listeners Who Missed It…

(Skip the ads and jump into the stories—ideally with a few drinks and your own dysfunctional crew.)

Ep 587 - PHIL (feat. Steve Gerben & Chris O'Connor)

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Summary

Matt and Shane's Secret Podcast – Ep 587: PHIL (feat. Steve Gerben & Chris O’Connor)

Episode Overview

Key Discussion Points & Insights

1. Opening Chatter & Thanksgiving Vibes

2. Phil’s Bombing Pedigree & Golf Stories

3. Family Press Conferences, Cats, and Childhood Trauma

4. Small-Town Life and Animal Antics

5. Coaching, Humility, and Championship Rings

6. Closing the Pool & Suburban Dad Fails

7. Single Life & Dating App Woes

8. Family Dynamics and Generational Gaps

9. The Pressures and Oddities of Moderate Fame

10. Drinking, Guilt, and Aging Bodies

11. Awkward Childhood and Family Anecdotes

12. Sports Careers Ending in Humiliation

13. Strange Positions in Sports & Cultural Stereotypes

Notable Quotes & Memorable Moments

Timestamps for Important Segments

Tone & Language

For Listeners Who Missed It…

Summary

Matt and Shane's Secret Podcast – Ep 587: PHIL (feat. Steve Gerben & Chris O’Connor)

Episode Overview

Key Discussion Points & Insights

1. Opening Chatter & Thanksgiving Vibes

2. Phil’s Bombing Pedigree & Golf Stories

3. Family Press Conferences, Cats, and Childhood Trauma

4. Small-Town Life and Animal Antics

5. Coaching, Humility, and Championship Rings

6. Closing the Pool & Suburban Dad Fails

7. Single Life & Dating App Woes

8. Family Dynamics and Generational Gaps

9. The Pressures and Oddities of Moderate Fame

10. Drinking, Guilt, and Aging Bodies

11. Awkward Childhood and Family Anecdotes

12. Sports Careers Ending in Humiliation

13. Strange Positions in Sports & Cultural Stereotypes

Notable Quotes & Memorable Moments

Timestamps for Important Segments

Tone & Language

For Listeners Who Missed It…