Matt and Shane’s Secret Podcast — Ep 594: “Gooniverse”

Hosts: Matt McCusker & Shane Gillis
Guests: Steve Gerben & Billy
Date: January 14, 2026

Overview

Episode 594, "Gooniverse," brings together Matt, Shane, returning favorite Steve Gerben ("Gerby"), and fan-favorite Billy for a raucous hang. The crew catches up on everything from fitness rivals and gym culture to political memes, square-dancing escapades, and deep dives into niche Internet fetishes. Expect high-energy ribbing, confessions, and a lot of raw, hilarious honesty, with the signature banter and tangents Matt & Shane are known for.

Main Discussion Points & Insights

1. Catching Up & Gym Rivalries

Timestamps: [00:03 - 04:45]

• The crew opens with light roasting about fitness routines, with Matt and Billy comparing lifts (“Bench 235... Lie... 335... go higher...” [01:10]). Shane nicknames Matt “Mommy’s little muscle man.”
• Discussion of gym milestones versus reality, “225 is warmup weight” [01:36], and skepticism over each other's claims.
• Billy jokes about sub-six-foot dudes’ need to “juice” to keep up: “If I get a girlfriend, best believe it's an abusive relationship. That's the only way I can keep a girl.” [28:13]

2. Steroids, Liver King, & Masculinity

Timestamps: [01:53 - 04:55, 23:34 - 24:03]

• Ongoing comedic debate on who’s “on the juice” and the ethics of lying about steroid use — “Just lie until you die” [03:24].
• The fellas rag on fitness influencers: “Getting killed by Liver King would be sick” [03:07].
• Throwbacks to “Smashing Machine,” “Liver King,” and discussions about gym bro culture, with comedic detours into performance enhancers.

3. Illness, Allergies, and Avoiding the Plague

Timestamps: [06:24 - 08:54]

• How traveling and their different locations (Texas vs. PA) affected each person dodging winter sicknesses.
• Gerben’s confessions of getting everyone sick over the holidays, “I proceeded to cough in my girlfriend's mouth accidentally, and she got sick, and then everyone else in the house got sick.” [07:14]

4. Darts in London, White Boxing Idols, and Mayweather

Timestamps: [08:12 - 09:50]

• Shane details his calculated escape from a “plague plane” by going to the World Darts Championship.
• Appreciation and hindsight on rooting for white boxing underdog Ricky Hatton against Mayweather: “We all bought in because he was a white guy... then the fight started and we went, ‘whoops.’” [08:48]
• Floyd’s undefeated strategy and the spectacle of major fights.

5. Musical Aspirations & Group Dynamics

Timestamps: [10:06 - 12:32]

• Steve’s failed karaoke attempts; ribbing from the guys about “One Bourbon, One Scotch, One Beer.”
• Matt philosophizes about morning attitudes, borrowing old Black guy’s morning wisdom: “Woke up today, didn’t I?” [12:32]
• Group commiserations on body shame and “tiny penis” woes after cold plunges.

6. Golf Nostalgia, 90’s Fashion, and Platform Shoes

Timestamps: [13:31 - 15:21]

• Billy, Matt, and Steve reminisce about wearing “Echo shoes, Lugs, South Pole” — the uniform of 90’s and early-2000s bad kids.
• Friendly call-outs on wearing platform shoes and “looksmaxxing” (seeking any edge to look hotter).

7. Politics, Propaganda, and Memes

Timestamps: [17:42 - 21:31]

• Billy and Matt discuss whether “Trump Dog” still “has the juice,” referencing recent Air Force One (AF1) meme moments. “I can tell you it was not for my brain, because my brain’s working. I just took a cognitive test and I aced it...” [17:58]
• Satire on American media propaganda, Venezuela, Colombia, and how memes can shift public opinion: “The meme leading up to Venezuela, I was like, don’t go to war … one meme ... I was like, America rules, take all their do it.” [19:09]
• Comedic, skeptical takes on China and Russia — “I’ve never gotten sold on China hype” [22:28].

8. Modern Dating, Square Dancing, and Pickup Moves

Timestamps: [29:08 - 36:44]

• Steve describes re-entering the dating pool, discovering that Instagram thinks he’s a girl (“... sending me stuff as if I was a girl” [29:37]).
• Enthusiastic but embarrassing line-dancing stories: Steve’s cowboy hats, jive, and dancing workout routines.
• Pickup strategies deciphered — “How do you message a girl after line-dancing? Eye contact, go for a drink...” [31:14]

9. Bedroom Playlists & Fetishes

Timestamps: [36:08 - 44:44]

• Wild conversation on sex music — red lights, Nine Inch Nails, industrial techno track “Bent.” Steve admits Shazaming a song while on OnlyFans: “While jacking off ... I’d already finished and then you say, what’s the name of the song?” [41:10]
• Discussion of “gooner” culture (edging/extended masturbation), goon music, and the absurdity of JOI (jerk-off instruction) videos.

10. The World of “Painting Jobs” & Niche Porn

Timestamps: [48:09 - 50:51]

• Deep dive into the subreddits/support groups for “panty jobs”, dry humping, “outercourse,” and “mano jobs.”
• Steve’s pride (and shame) about knowing his niche: “I do think I’m probably like in the top 1-2% of panty job video watchers.” [48:42]
• The guys riff on lost favorite porn videos, naming stars and the joy of “innocent” kinks.

11. Dancing Drama: Box-outs and Friendship Teasing

Timestamps: [61:10 - 71:01]

• The notorious “line-dancing box out” confrontation, where Steve physically “boxed out” a woman to dance next to his crush. “If any of my friends boxed a girl out to get next to a girl, I’d be like, yeah, what the fuck you doing, dude?” [65:41]
• Heavy teasing about being “the horniest guy on Earth,” with Steve defending himself and Matt assuring it’s all in good fun and “checks and balances” between friends.

12. Group Golf Outings, Boundaries & Emotional Honesty

Timestamps: [81:15 - 84:22]

• Recap of a tense golf cart bumping incident—Matt’s penchant for “Jackass” style pranks on the course, Steve’s increasingly annoyed boundaries, and the art of recovering from playful tempers.
• “You have the ultimate weapon — you can make me feel very bad,” says Matt to Steve. [85:50]

Notable Quotes

• “If you leave, you’re hurting her. The guys that are, for real, up the girls. That’s wild.” — Billy [28:26]
• “Woke up today, didn’t I?” — Billy (on old black guys’ morning greetings) [12:32]
• “Just lie until you die.” — Billy (on steroid users) [03:24]
• “God, this guy means business. That’s ready to eat.” — Matt (on Steve leaving a ‘how to eat pussy’ book on his couch during a location scout) [38:32]
• “If a player’s in the game, he needs rules.” — Billy [68:40]
• “No one’s built for this, dude. Stay home. Hit it on Facebook. All caps, on Facebook. Stay in your space.” — Billy [55:00]
• “We’re in my man cave, dude. Pool table, sitting around talking jizz. That’s what it’s all about.” — Matt [53:05]
• “You don’t tug on Superman’s cape. You don’t pull on Liver King’s beard, dude.” — Matt [92:09]

Memorable/Absurd Moments

• Steve Shazaming an OnlyFans song mid-masturbation: [41:10]
• The “boxing out” line-dancing debacle and subsequent group therapy: [62:12 - 71:01]
• Open talk about favorite “panty job” and “outercourse” videos, Reddit comment shame, and “top 1%” kinks: [48:09 - 50:51]
• “Liver King” fear-mongering, coupled with a hypothetical fight scenario: [03:07, 92:16]
• “How to Eat Pussy” book left out during a filming scout: [37:17 - 38:32]
• Group recounting 90s “cool” shoes (Echo, Lugs) and school yard status symbols: [25:05 - 27:03]
• Matt reflecting on body image and the intimacy of shower self-negativity: [12:32 - 12:59]

Timestamps for Key Segments

• Bench Press/Lifting Claims: [00:10 - 01:35]
• Liver King, Steroids, Machismo: [01:53 - 04:45, 23:34 - 24:03]
• Dodging Sickness/World Darts Party: [06:24 - 08:54]
• Boxing and Being Inspiringly Delusional: [08:48 - 09:50]
• Line Dancing & Pick Up Tactics: [29:00 - 36:44]
• Sex Playlists, Gooning, and Panty Job Theory: [36:08 - 50:51]
• Dancing Box-Out Controversy Unpacked: [62:12 - 71:01]
• Golf Fights and Boundaries: [81:15 - 84:22]

Tone & Style

The episode is boisterous, self-deprecating, and relentlessly honest, with the hosts comfortable poking fun at both themselves and each other. Matt serves as the deadpan straight man while Shane delights in playful antagonism and outrageous confessions. Billy and Steve bring memorable stories and aren’t afraid to take the brunt of the jokes. All contribute to a fast-paced, joke-dense, chaotic roundtable with undercurrents of genuine friendship and vulnerability.

For New Listeners: Why Listen?

This episode showcases the Matt and Shane formula at its best — hilarious ball-busting, left-field confessionals, and a cocktail of pop-culture riffing and everyday absurdities. It’s a blend of blue-collar wisdom, Internet brain-rot, sexual honesty, and “dude” comedy that’s as sincere as it is irreverent.

Note: This summary omits ad reads and excludes non-content sections. All timestamps are in MM:SS format as referenced to the provided transcript.