Ep 601 - Gen Z White Boy (feat. Devan Costa & Conner McNutt)

Summary

Podcast Summary: Matt and Shane’s Secret Podcast – Ep 601 “Gen Z White Boy” (feat. Devan Costa & Conner McNutt)

Release Date: March 4, 2026
Hosts: Matt McCusker & Shane Gillis
Guests: Devan Costa, Conner McNutt (with occasional appearances by Sean Gardini)
Theme: A sprawling, rapid-fire hang as four comics riff on everything from the BAFTAs controversy, evolving taboo around language, generational shifts, working class jobs, and much, much more.

---

Episode Overview

This episode brings together Matt, Shane, Devan, Conner, and Sean for a classic, freewheeling roundtable where comedians take on current events, social taboos, generational differences, and working-life war stories. The group’s signature blend of irreverence and insight shines through as they dissect the fallout from a scandal at the BAFTA awards, joke about generational nihilism, and reminisce about wild jobs and even wilder drug experiences.

---

Key Discussion Points & Insights

1. The BAFTAs ‘Tourette’s Guy’ Controversy

[00:10 – 13:56]

• Breakdown of a recent BAFTA awards scandal involving a British actor with Tourette’s, who was caught on a hot mic shouting slurs—including the N-word.
• Group confusion about what BAFTA stands for, with Devan admitting, “I thought it was like the BET—British BET” (03:01).
• Speculation on whether the outburst was symptomatic or malicious.
• Matt: “It’s just that you’ve heard before that that’s the worst thing to call a black person. So then you say that. That’s literally like the disability” (05:04).
• Comedy riffs about how awards shows edit content—“Apparently they edited out Epstein stuff, but didn’t edit out the N-word” (04:01; Devan).
• Discussion on public and Twitter outrage, the role of apologies, and why the movie about the real-life “Tourette’s guy” is ineligible for this year’s Oscars but might get traction next year.
• Satirical musings on internet reactions: the crossroad of social justice when the offender is both disabled and offensive—“If you’re someone who’s socially aware… you just came to a nasty crossroads. Whose side am I on?” (08:58; Devan)

Notable Quotes:

• Devan: “The whole time I was going, the British BET…” (03:30)
• Shane: “It’s like a crown jewel of London. Like, everyone loves this guy. There’s like a documentary series about him.” (03:08)
• Shane: “There is a weird cognitive dissonance…like, black people on Twitter would go to a kid’s birthday party and a guy gets painted like a giraffe and they go, for sure you’re doing blackface.” (08:47)

---

2. Gen Z, the N-word, and Shifting Cultural Taboos

[13:58 – 16:23]

• Comparison of Gen Z internet culture to older generations, especially around taboo language.
• Shane: “The N-word was gentrified by black people. And we’re taking it back.” (16:09)
• Matt: “It’s like an Xbox Live economy… that’s now the culture” (15:27)
• Group riffs on young white rappers and social changes, including Jin Lee, a viral redheaded rapper
• Devan: “If you’re like 22 and you don’t say the N-word and you’re white, it’s kind of gay. Which is funny. I mean, dude, how crazy is that?” (16:33)
• Nuanced take: Despite wild internet culture, the distinction between harmful intent and “gentrified” words persists; some stick to the ‘A’ ending, while “hard R” remains off-limits.

---

3. Pedophile Hunting, Online Pranks, and Social Vigilantism

[29:45 – 35:56]

• Dissection of Gen Z’s prank culture, including fake pedophile accusations in public.
• Critique of influencer “vigilantes,” with group expressing discomfort about public shamings, especially when targets are cognitively impaired.
  • Matt: “Sometimes it is… I feel, like, weirdly, a little more empathy for the pedophile than the hunters.” (30:25)
• Satirical vision of celebrity-endorsed vigilante justice: “It was like part of the circuit… you’re promoting your album, you’re going to go hunt a pedophile.” (31:02; Shane)
• Funny hypothetical about Walmart installing boxing rings for accused.

Memorable Exchanges:

• Shane: “Imagine getting your ass rocked by a pedophile!” (32:35)
• Devan: “It’s hunting, man. Sometimes you get a big deer, sometimes a little deer.” (30:43)

---

4. Cultural Double Standards: Female Sex Offenders & Taboo Narratives

[37:14 – 40:49]

• Ongoing discussion on how attractive female teachers committing statutory rape are perceived and depicted in TV/media.
• Devan shares a plot summary of a recent, controversial book about a 17-year-old seducing her teacher—“I read it, it was actually pretty wild.”
• Shane: “So she just leaves him at the end? That’s bleak, man.” (39:39)
• Dissection of the genre of erotic/romantic fiction, why women are drawn to these dynamics, and the difference between lived reality and fantasy.
• Devan: “Erotica books aren’t even so much about the sex—it’s the two people finally colliding…what are the circumstances?” (40:16)

---

5. Work Woes and Scammy Schemes: Service Industry Life

[45:02 – 63:50]

• Comedians trade retail, delivery, and food service stories—insomnia cookies, Uber Eats, Abercrombie, Target.
  • Matt shares his class action lawsuit win after being banned from Postmates for allegedly stealing food (46:04).
  • Devan recollects pulling scams as a delivery guy and prank-calling customers whose cookies he already stole (62:25).
• Discussion of the misery of retail jobs, insane uniforms, and the weirdest managers.
  • Shane: “They made me buy an outfit—head to toe Abercrombie. That’s like $140, not even a real discount!” (59:19)
  • Shane: “I got recruited for Abercrombie, like, three times. And finally just said yes.” (58:14)
• On working up to a ‘regional director’ role: “You just drive around and check on stores, get paid a hundred grand for life.” (60:45; Devan)

---

6. Drug Tales: From Weed, Whippets, to Molly and Spice

[63:53 – 73:01]

• Stories of delivering “whippets” and witnessing the world of legal/highly questionable gas station drugs (kratom, K2, “seven-oh”).
• On the horror of synthetic drugs: “K2 is f***ed up… my friend who did every drug said K2 is the worst.” (65:45; Devan)
• Bad weed experiences: panic attacks, forgetting Alan Rickman’s name, watching Family Guy to calm down (66:22–67:22).
  • Shane: “Weed does something to me… I have dementia when I smoke weed.” (67:22)
• Molly stories: the fun, the earth-shaking roll, and the comedown misery.
  • Shane: “It was like going down a roller coaster for three days straight.” (71:18)
  • Matt: “I watched Kobe highlights on Molly and just went like this [mimes dancing] all night. It was amazing.” (72:25)
  • Devan: “My baseline is so low and depressive that when the Molly wears off I just go, alright.” (71:23)

---

7. Masculinity, Protectiveness, and Bar Fights

[41:08 – 44:50]

• Debate over how protective men should be of their partners when confronted with overt flirting or disrespect.
  • Devan: “Something about men cucking me in public chaps my ass…” (43:32)
  • Shane describes a bold guy hitting on his wife as he’s holding her: “That’s the coolest guy I’ve ever seen, honestly.” (42:06)
• Discussion of escalation and Irish tempers, especially when alcohol is involved.
• Legal followup: story of a friend getting stomped at a club but winning a huge settlement for lack of security (44:53).
  • Matt: “Could you imagine actually following through on suing somebody?” (44:50)

---

Memorable Quotes & Moments

• Devan (re: Tourette’s BAFTAs guy): “He called the Queen a [slur] to her face.” (03:14)
• Matt: “Sometimes I have more empathy for the pedophile than the hunters.” (30:25)
• Shane: “The N-word was gentrified by black people. And we’re taking it back.” (16:09)
• Devan (on weed): "Having the coolest thought ever that's going to change your life, then two seconds later going, wait, what was that?" (67:31)
• Shane (re: Karen manager): “So I heard you’re too good for the Fitch.” (60:12)

---

Important Timestamps

| Timestamp | Segment | Key Discussion | |------------|------------------------------------------|---------------------------------------------------| | 00:10–01:51| BAFTAs Tourette’s guy, movie controversy| Origins, public spectacle, actor backstory | | 04:00–05:12| Intent and tabloos in Tourette’s | “Is it in him or the disability?” – explored | | 13:58–16:23| Language, Gen Z, Xbox Live culture | N-word usage, taboo shifts, white rappers | | 29:45–35:56| Pedophile hunting, influencer culture | Vigilante justice, fucked-up prank trend | | 37:14–40:49| Women teachers, erotica, double standards| “A Teacher,” gendered lens, plot summary | | 46:04–63:50| Delivery scams, lawsuits, retail | Service jobs, pizza guy stories, Abercrombie life | | 63:53–73:01| Weird drugs, weed disasters, Molly tales | Whippets, synthetic highs, panic attacks, euphoria | | 41:08–44:50| Masculinity, fighting, lawsuits | Who deserves protection, bar fights, legal revenge | | 74:13–end | Kid stuff, show plugs | Parenting, work-life, closing banter |

---

Tone and Takeaway

As always, the conversation is irreverent, rapid, and sometimes toes the edge—never shying away from uncomfortable or tangled topics. The episode is both a satirical state-of-the-culture and a bunch of comics just being hilarious degenerates with sincere working-class backgrounds and no fear of taboo.

For newcomers: You get a whirlwind tour of modern comedian minds and the kind of free-associative riffing (laced with both insight and idiocy) that makes Matt and Shane’s Secret Podcast a cult favorite.

---

Show & Guest Plugs

• Hey Watch Podcast: “Check it out, we’re both on that. And Lemon Party. We were banned…” (75:06; Matt/Shane)
• Sean Gardini live dates: “Comet in Cincinnati… Optimum Noctis at the Creek in the Cave in Austin, Texas…”
• Matt’s stand-up dates: Cleveland, Pittsburgh, St. Louis, Indy, Philly, Toronto, Chicago, Phoenix, and more!

---

“I used to deliver whippets to a drug addict in Compton…”
– Matt McCusker (63:50)

“My best night was their worst night. It’s awesome.”
– Shane Gillis (73:01)

---

Listen if you like: Risky jokes, frank talk on language/culture, and the realest service industry/retail horror stories.

Transcript

[Matt McCusker]

All right.

[Shane Wexler]

Start now.

[Matt McCusker]

All right.

[Devin Costa]

Hey, we're here. Hello. The hell's going up? Connor McNutt. Devin Costa. We just had some secret talk that

[Matt McCusker]

we, you know, some secret.

[Shane Wexler]

Top secret dog.

[Devin Costa]

Doesn't look bad now because then the thing we're talking about. Okay, we didn't have that kind of secret talk because we're about to talk about the baftas, right?

[Matt McCusker]

Yeah.

[Devin Costa]

It wasn't. It wasn't. Look, I can assure you it was not that. That was not that secret talk, but.

[Matt McCusker]

No, no. The guy with Tourette's.

[Shane Wexler]

Yes. I mean, of course it's weird because

[Devin Costa]

we technically did have.

[Matt McCusker]

We were talking. Yes.

[Shane Wexler]

We also started three row right now, which makes things awkward.

[Devin Costa]

Yeah, 100%. The B thing's on the up and up. You can be assured of that. Which camera? You can be assured of that. Guys, thanks for coming. Of course.

[Matt McCusker]

We know we're pretty big get, so.

[Devin Costa]

Hey, anything to help.

[Shane Wexler]

You're lucky we're here.

[Devin Costa]

I. I'll take it. I. I am genuinely lucky you're here. I'm pumped you guys are here.

[Sean Gardini]

Me too.

[Shane Wexler]

Yeah, man.

[Devin Costa]

God dang. So with all the formalities out of the way, we're talking Baptist.

[Matt McCusker]

Baptist.

[Devin Costa]

We're talking Baptist.

[Matt McCusker]

It was a crazy situation because I thought. I thought Sinners was overrated, but I think that guy went too far. And then I had to check out the Tourette's guys movie. 12 Years a Slave. No, that's the Tourette's movie. What a crazy movie.

[Shane Wexler]

It's called. I Swear.

[Matt McCusker]

Yeah, what is it?

[Shane Wexler]

I Swear.

[Matt McCusker]

I swear.

[Devin Costa]

What is it? Was he the director? Writer?

[Matt McCusker]

No, no, he's just. It's based on him and an actor, really good actor, plays him in it, and it's very good. I watched it, like, right after the.

[Devin Costa]

The N word drop guy was.

[Matt McCusker]

It was.

[Devin Costa]

That's a crazy marketing.

[Matt McCusker]

It was.

[Devin Costa]

That's.

[Matt McCusker]

I was. I felt like it was intentional. Yeah. I immediately watched the movie also.

[Shane Wexler]

They apparently, like, missed the Oscar, like, cut offs by, like, a week or two. So this movie's gonna be in circulation for, like, the next year. Yeah, like, it'll probably get nominated next year for the Oscars. So, like, we'll hear about the Tourette's guy for next year.

[Matt McCusker]

Unless he gets killed by.

[Devin Costa]

Why was he at the BAFTAs, though? Tourette's guy?

[Matt McCusker]

He's a British guy. He's actually kind of famous in England.

[Devin Costa]

Okay.

[Matt McCusker]

John Davidson.

[Devin Costa]

He's a white boy.

[Matt McCusker]

He's a white boy.

[Shane Wexler]

Yeah.

[Devin Costa]

He's a very crazy. Why was he's never said it to

[Matt McCusker]

Idris Elba, which is interesting.

[Devin Costa]

I don't know if you're like, either Michael B. Jordan is jacked.

[Matt McCusker]

Yeah.

[Devin Costa]

You should say to anybody whether they're weak or strong.

[Matt McCusker]

Said it's a Delroy Lindo, too, who, like, is like an older black dude and probably really heard it directed at him.

[Devin Costa]

Okay, so this. This has been. This has been kind of the. Well, first of all, I'm curious, why was his movie being nominated? He was just an actor.

[Matt McCusker]

Yeah, yeah. The actor that.

[Shane Wexler]

The guy who plays him one.

[Devin Costa]

But was he played by a black man?

[Matt McCusker]

No, no.

[Shane Wexler]

What are you talking about?

[Devin Costa]

Is for black.

[Matt McCusker]

No, no, no, it wasn't the NAACP Awards.

[Shane Wexler]

You think there's a segregated award show

[Devin Costa]

for black people, right?

[Matt McCusker]

No, Baft is not that.

[Devin Costa]

I thought it was like the bet. British bet.

[Shane Wexler]

No, that was like, badass film.

[Matt McCusker]

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

[Devin Costa]

Black actors film.

[Matt McCusker]

That's very funny.

[Devin Costa]

The whole time I was like, dude, he did.

[Shane Wexler]

It's British.

[Devin Costa]

British BET Awards. No, he did it just like the British actors.

[Matt McCusker]

Yes.

[Shane Wexler]

It's a guy who's like, actually, like, he's like a crown jewel of London. Like, everyone loves this guy. There's like a documentary series about the guy.

[Devin Costa]

Yeah.

[Shane Wexler]

And then they made a movie out of it. So, like, he's like. I mean, he called like the queen a. To her face. Yeah.

[Devin Costa]

Really?

[Matt McCusker]

His.

[Shane Wexler]

His.

[Devin Costa]

His.

[Matt McCusker]

One of his best friends died, and when the cops came, he goes like, I killed him. I killed him. You say the thing that's never. You know.

[Devin Costa]

And thanks for clearing up the fact. This wasn't the British beat. I.

[Matt McCusker]

The whole time was going, the British beat.

[Shane Wexler]

I love that you thought that. That's beautiful, actually. You got a beautiful mind, dude. So you're like, how cool is London? They have a black award show. Good for them. That's so funny.

[Devin Costa]

That's embarrassing. So, okay, here. And this is the question now where it's like. Because I. I've read a lot of the comments on it. You do have a lot of, like, black ladies and even black guys being like, that was in him.

[Matt McCusker]

He knows what he said.

[Devin Costa]

He knows what he did. Well, there was two things it is in him they should have edited because apparently they did edit out Epstein stuff, but they didn't edit out the N word out.

[Shane Wexler]

Free Palace.

[Devin Costa]

Yes, sorry. That's what it was.

[Matt McCusker]

And he was calling the host of the show like a homo the entire time. And they edited that out too. What? No, he didn't say homies, you know.

[Devin Costa]

Yeah, obviously. Yeah, yeah, he's got the disease.

[Shane Wexler]

I also.

[Matt McCusker]

You gotta do it.

[Shane Wexler]

I also have Tourette's. When I see it makes you feel bad.

[Devin Costa]

Also, if he had, if Tourette's made him go homo people like, you know

[Matt McCusker]

what you're saying, that's in you.

[Shane Wexler]

Yeah, it's funny. The, the, the like, the afflection is like so harsh. What if he had like Tourette that was like sing song, you know, True. You're gay.

[Devin Costa]

That could be fun. Maybe that's potential therapy.

[Matt McCusker]

Broadway Tourettes.

[Devin Costa]

It could be a potential therapy of getting him to kind of like, yeah, sing it out. But that's. Yeah. I mean, I personally don't think the man that was like some sort of, you know, showing of like innate evil. And it's also like, the question is, is like, what person? It's like, does that mean the word is there or the sentiment to use it?

[Matt McCusker]

It's just that you've, you've heard before that that's the worst thing to call a black person. So then you say that. That's literally like the disability.

[Shane Wexler]

Yeah.

[Matt McCusker]

You say the worst. You go say to somebody, it goes to the taboo and you can't help it. And it like, helps you, like, live. You, you feel like. I've been watching all these, like Tourette's people talk about it and yeah, it's like you can't, it's. You feel like you're going to explode unless you don't get it out. And then they also, you know, just go like, you know, they like bark and like they're animals, man.

[Shane Wexler]

Yeah.

[Devin Costa]

This episode is brought to you by Shopify. When you start anything new, it comes with a lot of what ifs. What if nobody laughs at your jokes during your first stand up routine? What if nobody listens to your new podcast? It's okay to have doubts, but you shouldn't let them rule your life. Buck up. Because who knows? You could get the life you've been dreaming of. It also helps if you have a good support system. And for any aspiring business owners out there, that means using Shopify. It's the commerce platform that's helped millions of businesses, including companies like Magic Spoon, Death Wish Coffee, and even Heinz. Whatever stage you're at as a business owner, Shopify is the perfect wingman. They can help you create and design a website market across social media, grow your company and more. And you can get access to their iconic purple shop pay button, which helps boost conversions so fewer carts go abandoned. And you can make that cha Ching leave the what ifs behind and start Working towards the future you want with Shopify. Sign up for your $1 per month trial today at shopify.com matandshane that is M a T T space A N D space sh a n e, all caps. That's shopify.com all caps. Matt and Shane.

[Matt McCusker]

The guy was podcasting at the bathroom.

[Devin Costa]

I think, honestly, I think Tourette's are now the most. I thought for a while I was like, it's definitely straight white men. Most dangerous people in America or the world. Yeah. Tourette's have replaced. I think we got an eye on them.

[Shane Wexler]

I mean, you have like Eric Cartman disease. I don't know what to tell you. It's pretty.

[Devin Costa]

It's pretty. They're terrorists. They're literally terrorists. Tourette's. You're an evil terrorist.

[Matt McCusker]

He didn't apologize technically too. And black people on Twitter at least are very upset by that.

[Devin Costa]

What was his apology?

[Shane Wexler]

It was. It was just explaining the disease, you

[Matt McCusker]

know, explaining it because in the movie there's an entire scene where the lady that takes him in is like, you don't need to keep apologizing for something.

[Devin Costa]

You can't help a black lady.

[Matt McCusker]

Yeah, yeah. It was Whoopi Goldberg played his mom in the movie.

[Shane Wexler]

It was Monique in the movie.

[Devin Costa]

In the movie. And the guy. There's an actor who played him.

[Matt McCusker]

Yes.

[Devin Costa]

Like, yeah.

[Matt McCusker]

Who probably had the time of his life.

[Shane Wexler]

Imagine getting that role just saying it all over where they're like, hey, man, you're gonna get paid like a hundred thousand dollars. You guys see the N word a bunch. You're like, oh, no.

[Devin Costa]

Yeah, you gotta yell at it. Oh, that's terrible. He doesn't yell the N word in the movie.

[Shane Wexler]

No, no.

[Matt McCusker]

But now, okay, here's another thing that there's a scene in the movie where he's like painting his new flat, like his apartment with his friend. And it's like green paint, but it looks dark green. And he's like. Puts it on his face as a tick and then he like puts it on his friend's face and they start doing it. And that clip has surfaced on Twitter and black people are like, so there's a black face scene in this movie too, but it's.

[Devin Costa]

Oh, it's a dark face.

[Matt McCusker]

It's like a dark green. And it has nothing to do with race. He's just being like wacky and painting his friend's face and they're like, oh, you know. But now that's like an evil. Yeah, like this is a thought out thing. And the movie Is this, like, secret racist.

[Shane Wexler]

There is, like, a weird, like, cognitive dissonance with, like, I don't know, black people on Twitter, where it's like, they would, like, go to, like, a kid's birthday party and a guy that gets painted like a giraffe and they go, for sure you're doing blackface.

[Devin Costa]

Yeah.

[Shane Wexler]

What's going on here?

[Devin Costa]

No, it's. Well, it came. The problem is, though, if you're somebody who's, like, you know, really prides yourself on being, like, socially aware and empathetic, you came to a very nasty crossroads. Or, like, whose side am I on?

[Matt McCusker]

Yeah, it's tough.

[Devin Costa]

Or the disabled.

[Matt McCusker]

It's tough because also he. He. There was apparently, like, a mic and, like, he just said, like, why was there a big mic in front of the baftas? Wanted this to happen.

[Devin Costa]

That was actually not a good. So they had it. They had. The guy was just all night.

[Matt McCusker]

People think he was.

[Shane Wexler]

The entire time.

[Matt McCusker]

No, there's this idea that he was front and center, you know, like, wearing, like, with a swastika tattoo on his head, just like, screaming the worst things of all time, you know, he was like, 40 rows back, apparently, and. But somehow, like, kind of miked. And they cut everything else but this part. Yeah, that's weird.

[Devin Costa]

Wait, they call it. They caught. They missed every. Oh, they.

[Matt McCusker]

They caught him. Somebody on stage said, free Palestine. They cut that.

[Devin Costa]

Maybe they were kind of. There's a couple guys where they're like. Well, he was. You were saying. He was yelling, like, gay stuff, too, though.

[Matt McCusker]

The whole time, the host, Alan Cummings, kept like. Like, saying, like, just so everyone knows, there's a. There's a guy here that.

[Devin Costa]

And he'd be like, can't stop saying

[Matt McCusker]

it, by the way.

[Shane Wexler]

By the way, imagine being gay and your last name is Cummings. That's so funny, dude. That's incredible.

[Matt McCusker]

And that.

[Devin Costa]

That's.

[Matt McCusker]

That's driving the Tourette's guy crazy. That just. He's a brilliant man.

[Shane Wexler]

Yeah, he's my favorite, for sure.

[Matt McCusker]

No, but it's also just created a war because he's, like, a very, like, people, really. He's an earnest figure in England, people really.

[Shane Wexler]

Really.

[Devin Costa]

They like that he said the Queen, or call the Queen.

[Shane Wexler]

They forgive it.

[Matt McCusker]

They forgive it. And the Queen forgave it, you know, like. Like, it's.

[Devin Costa]

She has bigger fish to fry right now. One of her sons is running wild.

[Shane Wexler]

She's also dead.

[Devin Costa]

God damn it.

[Matt McCusker]

I don't know any queen is dead.

[Devin Costa]

Who's. Who the running England right now. I wonder. They're having guys scream out in the

[Matt McCusker]

awards,

[Devin Costa]

son's a damn pedophile.

[Matt McCusker]

I mean, war show.

[Devin Costa]

They're yelling out insults.

[Matt McCusker]

They're just. I don't know.

[Devin Costa]

That guy knew what he. I. That guy.

[Matt McCusker]

That guy, he knew what he was doing, actually.

[Devin Costa]

That is the core of that man's life. He's a sick.

[Matt McCusker]

His life should be ruined more than it has been his entire life.

[Shane Wexler]

So you're on the same page as Jamie Fox.

[Devin Costa]

Jamie.

[Matt McCusker]

Jamie Fox was like, him, dude. He knew what he said. Meanwhile, Jamie Fox is like telling Leonardo DiCaprio, just say it all.

[Devin Costa]

You want such a weird flavor flex to be like, yeah, if. Like, I'm trying to think. I feel like if a guy with, like, down syndrome tripped me on accident and I turned around, I was like, you know what you did?

[Matt McCusker]

I know. You know, it's like when an evil, like, reptilian, like, like grandmother of yours or like, I guess like, even somebody's mom, they start kind of like, oh, they have.

[Sean Gardini]

They have.

[Matt McCusker]

They're for forgetful now. But they say like evil things in between the forgetfulness. And you're like, I know what you're fucking doing. Like fucking Livia Soprano or something where you just like, I can't tell. People have said you have a, you know, a problem now. So I. But. But I still kind of think you're fucking with me.

[Devin Costa]

It's also. It just is so unbelievable. If he has like, a track record of like, oh, we kind of love this guy. And then he just gets the BAFTAs. And it goes, finally, my evil, dark

[Shane Wexler]

philosophy, the Long Con. It paid off.

[Matt McCusker]

Yeah.

[Shane Wexler]

I've been faking Tourette's fucking for years.

[Devin Costa]

Yes. Yeah.

[Matt McCusker]

He was at the BET Awards. Like you.

[Devin Costa]

This is insane. It's such an insane thing to not immediately be like, yeah, okay, that guy. But I think what happened is it. It fell too neatly with. Who was the other fart lady?

[Matt McCusker]

Yeah, fart.

[Devin Costa]

N word.

[Matt McCusker]

She was like, yeah, hitting that.

[Devin Costa]

That. I think that was like a. A stun grenade for black people where they're kind of like, wait, what the was that?

[Matt McCusker]

Yeah, they're like, stop being so silly about it. We don't know how to get angry about this.

[Devin Costa]

No, it was. Yeah, it was. It was like. Because that was clearly, you know, slip up. Although my brother was like, there's no. My brother is completely against HGTV ladies. Like, there's no way that was a slip up.

[Shane Wexler]

Oh, no, dude. I think that's the thing she says all the time.

[Matt McCusker]

Yes.

[Shane Wexler]

She stubs her Toes just far inward. Like it's. That's just in her repertoire.

[Devin Costa]

She was saying fart knocker is what she usually says. And it just, it just. She must have hit her toe.

[Shane Wexler]

We've all been there. I mix it up, you know, I confused knocker in the N word all the time. Michael.

[Matt McCusker]

That lady's got great N words also.

[Devin Costa]

Yeah, here's the thing. It's like, how bad did you hit your toe? Broken toe.

[Matt McCusker]

It's like, what I didn't understand about that clip was why did she go like, can we cut that? And some guy was like, no, absolutely not. I hate you.

[Devin Costa]

No. Someone clearly just took that and released it. Yes.

[Shane Wexler]

I think they're like live streaming or something like that. I think they're like Instagram lives.

[Devin Costa]

Were they?

[Shane Wexler]

I had to be because. Why couldn't you cut that out?

[Matt McCusker]

Hgtv, getting into live streaming.

[Devin Costa]

I think someone took the card and was like, sick.

[Matt McCusker]

Yeah.

[Devin Costa]

Really? You think that we just talked about these gen zers.

[Matt McCusker]

Yeah, dude.

[Devin Costa]

Yeah, they're evil, that shit.

[Matt McCusker]

Do they do they're nihilists.

[Devin Costa]

They're. I think they are kind of nihilist.

[Matt McCusker]

Yeah.

[Shane Wexler]

Yeah.

[Devin Costa]

Or I don't know. A lot of them are like big time grind heads though.

[Shane Wexler]

So what's a grind?

[Matt McCusker]

Like grind, like rise.

[Devin Costa]

I'm grinding. Yeah, right. Yeah, the next level.

[Matt McCusker]

Yeah, they. And they don't care if they like die young. I mean, you know, they're all fudgeing the micro fracturing on their faces, doing meth and shit.

[Shane Wexler]

Well, Austin is also like the. It's like the capital of like the most boring 24 year old of all time. Like all those like, get ready with me, here's my day as a 24 year old living in Austin and I'm like, dude, kill yourself. Yeah. This is the worst life I've ever seen.

[Devin Costa]

I've talked to my younger cousin about that and he was like. I was like, is this what you and your friends do? And he was like, no, none of us like, none of us do that.

[Shane Wexler]

It is like a mind fuck. Because I'm trying to figure out like what Gen Z does or who they are, but. Because all the biggest people are like streaming all the time. Yeah, but I don't think that's like a fair reflection of like who they are, you mean?

[Devin Costa]

I'm telling you, I think they're completely checked out of like online stuff.

[Matt McCusker]

Yeah.

[Devin Costa]

Like, I don't, I don't think that. I was just talking about like the rage bait of how like, it's like if you get mad about something online, I think they view you as like a boomer moron. Yeah, we're like, almost. If you get mad at all, it's kind of embarrassing.

[Matt McCusker]

Yeah.

[Shane Wexler]

What was the sentiment we just had? If you don't say the N word, you're gay.

[Devin Costa]

Yeah, yeah. No, because they'll just rip the end. It's like, you know, on the Internet, and again, maybe there's streamers versus other guys, but it does seem like young white dudes can just rip the N word on the Internet.

[Shane Wexler]

I mean, Clavicular is constantly ripping the

[Devin Costa]

N word non stop. Fuentes. And you can't tell me that's not trickling down completely.

[Matt McCusker]

Is. It's like an Xbox Live economy. It's just, that's like now the culture no say anything.

[Devin Costa]

So that's what I think. I think it's like, you know, I, I, you know, I didn't, I didn't predict this happening, but I think, I think white people are taking the word back. I think they might be the youth.

[Shane Wexler]

Why? People are like, let's put the power back into it.

[Devin Costa]

Actually

[Shane Wexler]

the opposite of Jay Z.

[Devin Costa]

It's got to be crazy because, like, you know, I know black dudes that go, it's Xbox Live. And like, yeah, people yell the N word and blah, blah, blah, whatever. But it's got to be kind of a mind fuck to see, like, all these young white kids using it. And like, as far as the Internet goes, it's cool in the sense that it's working.

[Shane Wexler]

Yeah, yeah. I mean, we're being completely honest. The N word was gentrified by black people.

[Matt McCusker]

Yeah, yeah.

[Shane Wexler]

And we're taking it back. All right.

[Devin Costa]

It's like. But you get, you're, you got. I'm not careful. Exactly. You can't.

[Shane Wexler]

I'm not taking it back.

[Matt McCusker]

I feel gay. Like we just said. When I say the N word, like, I'm like retelling something. I feel like a teenager is going to call me like a homo. Like, like something just pop out of a bush, be like, you gay.

[Devin Costa]

That's what I was saying earlier. Like, I think if you're like 22 and you don't say the N word and you're white, you're kind of. It's like kind of gay. Yeah, yeah. Which is funny. I mean, dude, how crazy is that?

[Matt McCusker]

They just, I mean, well, they're all at home. No one can punch them in their room.

[Devin Costa]

That's true.

[Matt McCusker]

You know, but you know what happened?

[Devin Costa]

I think it started. There's a lot white There's a lot of white rappers that started just like ripping it. You know Jin Lee? No. He was a Dallas rapper. He's a, he's a giant redheaded man.

[Matt McCusker]

Okay.

[Devin Costa]

With long curly.

[Shane Wexler]

Oh, yes, I've seen this guy. Yeah, he's good.

[Devin Costa]

He was ripping the end where he's in jail now.

[Shane Wexler]

Okay. Yeah. I mean, I've seen him like also like post videos, like justifying saying it just.

[Devin Costa]

And, but then like he'll go and he'll fight like black teenagers in the mall.

[Matt McCusker]

Okay. So he's about that life completely. He really hates them.

[Devin Costa]

No, he loves them.

[Matt McCusker]

He's like totally going to the ball to fight.

[Devin Costa]

I think he just roast the ones he loves.

[Matt McCusker]

Yeah.

[Devin Costa]

But no, he'll have people like, if you have a problem, come fight me.

[Matt McCusker]

Right?

[Devin Costa]

Then he'll end up just being in like, you know, near a smoothie.

[Shane Wexler]

Bro, he's fat as he's.

[Devin Costa]

And he's like 6 foot 3.

[Shane Wexler]

He's huge, ugly as hell.

[Devin Costa]

Hey, man, he lives in Dallas.

[Matt McCusker]

He.

[Devin Costa]

Come get me.

[Sean Gardini]

Relax.

[Shane Wexler]

Come fight me, dude. Let's go to the mall, bro.

[Devin Costa]

Do it.

[Matt McCusker]

I love you. I love.

[Devin Costa]

He's in jail. He's gonna get out of jail. He's. He might not. He might just be like crazy ass white boy.

[Shane Wexler]

He probably is, dude, but he's good. Yeah. He sounds like Big X the plug, right? Kind of similar.

[Devin Costa]

Yeah. Kind of fat, I guess. I don't know.

[Shane Wexler]

He just sounds fat.

[Devin Costa]

I've never heard him. I never heard Big X the plug. I'm like, he's probably fat.

[Shane Wexler]

Oh, you'd love it.

[Matt McCusker]

Is Big X the plug white too?

[Shane Wexler]

No, he's black.

[Matt McCusker]

Okay.

[Devin Costa]

No, but there's that. I think that's, you know, the Internet is like, cuz, like you're, you're right. You can safely say it onto the Internet and like, you know, if you live around all white people, it's like no one's going to beat you up really for it. Maybe like, you know, your lesbian cousin.

[Matt McCusker]

They're also saying it with the A, right?

[Devin Costa]

Yes.

[Matt McCusker]

So, yeah, there's like people have a think it's not the same at all to them.

[Devin Costa]

True.

[Matt McCusker]

You know, like, like, like when Nick Fuentes says it, it's, it's, it's in a way of like I, I think he'd have a bigger problem. He was saying with the hard R,

[Devin Costa]

like every time, you know, I think so. I, I, he also claims that Kanye

[Matt McCusker]

gave him the pass and yeah, he's

[Shane Wexler]

a sane individual, which, yeah, imagine that's Your justification?

[Matt McCusker]

Yeah.

[Shane Wexler]

He's like, no, the most crazy man of all time. Said I could say it.

[Matt McCusker]

So he's getting his together, though, though.

[Devin Costa]

Yeah. Apologize. It takes a big man to apologize to all the world's Jews.

[Matt McCusker]

It does.

[Devin Costa]

It does that before.

[Matt McCusker]

I've. No, I've never been in that position, Matt.

[Shane Wexler]

I do it every single morning. Wake up and I apologize to all the world's Jews.

[Matt McCusker]

Get on Twitter. Sorry, Jews.

[Devin Costa]

That would be nice. Just hitting him with just, like, inspo. Content. Every. Like, what's. Good morning, Jews. Let's get it this morning. But like, pause. Really positive stuff. Like, Good morning, Jews.

[Shane Wexler]

That's like. That's like the real life equivalent of like, putting more shields in your chest. And like, Call of Duty. You see that everywhere. You're like, all right, I'm good. I'm safe again. Ah, that poor guy.

[Devin Costa]

Let's get it, Jay Gang. Let's call it J Gang.

[Shane Wexler]

J Gang.

[Matt McCusker]

Yeah.

[Devin Costa]

This episode is brought to you by Zip Recruiter. I always find it impressive when someone can let me talk about a skill I find impressive or profession I appreciate. For example, Olympic athletes and their dedication to training people can touch their nose with their tongues. Or someone who can speak multiple languages. Well, those are good prompts, but I just love a good accountant. Guys. One skill I found tremendously helpful in my life recently is, hmm, let's say accounting. That's my new passion. I've been doing all of my own accounting lately, and I really like it. And it's helped me gain a better sense of what all of my accountants have done. And I love it. And guys should all develop the skill. It's very important. Having a certain set of skills is important, like I said, especially when it comes to hiring. And one of the best ways to make sure you're finding the right people with the skill set you're looking for is to use a ZipRecruiter. Try it free for yourself at ZipRecruiter.com Secret along with their powerful matching technology, ZipRecruiter lets you use screening questions on your job listing to help you find qualified candidates fast. So you can make sure you're talking to exactly the kind of talent you need. It's one of the many reasons ZipRecruiter continues to be ranked. The number. Well, it just says the number hiring site. I'm going to say number one. They didn't give me the number. The number blank hiring site, guys. I'm saying number one based on G2. I'm going to make that leap of faith for ZipRecruiter. Number one hiring site based on G2, of course. Let ZipRecruiter help you find amazing candidates with the skills you seek. Four out of five employers who post on ZipRecruiter get a quality candidate within the first day. And now you can try it for free at ZipRecruiter.com secret that's ZipRecruiter.com secret. Meet your match on ZipRecruiter.

[Shane Wexler]

I hope Kanye comes back. I don't know, man.

[Matt McCusker]

He is. He's coming back. Bully's coming out, apparently.

[Shane Wexler]

You ever listen to Bully?

[Matt McCusker]

They say, yeah, I love Bully.

[Devin Costa]

Wait, what?

[Matt McCusker]

Bully was the album he put out that had, like, some AI songs on it, but he put it out at the time when he was going completely insane.

[Devin Costa]

See, I didn't know what was real.

[Matt McCusker]

Right, Right. It. Some of the songs are, like, kind of fake, but, man, it's just. He's just. And the funniest thing is that it's a really calm, like, thought. Like, it's. It's very. Like, nothing's crazy on the album. It's really lovely. It's beautiful. And then you look at his. You know, he's online saying, like, kill them all. You're like, this is so nice to listen to. This is insane.

[Shane Wexler]

Yeah, dude.

[Devin Costa]

Yeah. There's this musician I like who. John Martin. He was, like, this guy, like, a British folk singer from the 70s, and he would, like. He was, you know, one of the first people who was doing the looper pedal. So he would do these, like, beautiful ambient soundscapes. And then I learned he had been, like, beating his wife the whole time. That's.

[Matt McCusker]

Yeah, I know.

[Devin Costa]

So he would, like, have a vicious altercation with his wife, beat her, and then go, like, out in, like, the other room and just rip, like, a beautiful.

[Matt McCusker]

Kind of, like, it helps you possess.

[Devin Costa]

So, you know, the.

[Matt McCusker]

The. The. Yeah, like, the hating yourself for doing bad things, like, helps the artist.

[Devin Costa]

And so maybe Kanye.

[Shane Wexler]

Maybe hating your wife is the key to success.

[Devin Costa]

Hating or hitting?

[Shane Wexler]

Hating? Well, both, I think. Yeah, I think it'll come down to both for sure.

[Matt McCusker]

John Lennon used to, like, Beat.

[Devin Costa]

Yeah.

[Matt McCusker]

Beat women.

[Devin Costa]

He wrote a song about it. He wasn't jealous guy.

[Matt McCusker]

Women are the N word of the world.

[Devin Costa]

Yeah, that was him trying to help them. Weirdly. That's.

[Matt McCusker]

Dude, he hated his wife so much, he goes, you're the Edward of the world.

[Shane Wexler]

I'm gonna go hit my wife and go, I'm trying to buy a house today.

[Devin Costa]

Oh, wait, he was actually being Mean, I thought he was trying to be the ultimate, immense.

[Matt McCusker]

What a dick.

[Devin Costa]

Yeah, that was. That was a. That was a wild move he pulled. Yeah, yeah, I. I think women were like, yeah, yeah. You know what I mean? I'd have a hard time believing they wouldn't be like, well, no, I think they love that. Yeah.

[Matt McCusker]

Yeah. I mean, women have been fighting for. There's been that oppression Olympics for a while.

[Devin Costa]

It is funny that they have been in terms of like, num. Sheer numbers. They've been completely on for the longest. Like, if you go back into, like, history when you used to be able to. Yeah. Wrestle them and.

[Matt McCusker]

And then all they get is like, Hillary Clinton.

[Shane Wexler]

Yeah, it sucks, dude.

[Matt McCusker]

She just gets destroyed.

[Shane Wexler]

Really sucks.

[Matt McCusker]

It's tragic. Kamala Harris.

[Devin Costa]

They needed like their own Farrakhan.

[Matt McCusker]

Yeah.

[Devin Costa]

But that's cool because when women get, like, too feministic for some reason, they lose their.

[Shane Wexler]

Unfortunately, they do that and we go, shut up. Yeah, yeah. Like, they've tried a million times.

[Devin Costa]

They have tried it. Yeah. You know what? This is embarrassing of me to admit, but I recently. I don't know why I got this idea where I was like, dude, I think women in, like, you know, heavily Muslim controlled areas are genuinely happier than women in the West. Like Sharia law and stuff. Looked it up. Not the case.

[Shane Wexler]

Not at all.

[Devin Costa]

I was like, with Grock, like, yeah, but like, what about. He's like, not even, dude. They're not. They're so sad.

[Shane Wexler]

I love that. Like, ignorant. You meet a person from, like, a different culture, you're like, oh, it must be peaceful. And then you're like, you Google, you're like, oh, they hate. Yeah, it's actually illegal to be gay. They'll kill you.

[Devin Costa]

I was like, maybe. They're like, you know, it's like, as much as it sucks not being able to drive or leave your house and having to do all the.

[Matt McCusker]

Or have a Muslim. Women are like, the clit is like the appendix. It's not really necessary.

[Devin Costa]

It was a shameful thought. But I was like, maybe there's a certain freedom in that. That women actually. And then I looked it up. It's like, no depress. And it's also like, the reporting of depression is probably so low too, and it's still.

[Matt McCusker]

Right. Are they even allowed to get into that?

[Devin Costa]

Well, that. And that's why they asked him more, like, you know, like, instead of being like, are you depressed? Is they probably like, no. So it's like, well, how did. Do you ever feel, like, tired for days at a time? And they're like, like.

[Shane Wexler]

Yeah.

[Devin Costa]

Do you ever, like, think about just, like, sleeping forever? And then they hit him with all those questions when they collect a lot

[Shane Wexler]

of data, just coded. Killing yourself, you know? Yeah, yeah, yeah.

[Devin Costa]

But then I was like, are Muslim men happier? And I don't think so. I don't think so either.

[Matt McCusker]

Middle east and loud.

[Shane Wexler]

And I think if you're, like, religious, you're just never happy. Like, if you're like, fully, like, God will hate me if I do anything.

[Matt McCusker]

Yeah.

[Shane Wexler]

You can't be happy.

[Devin Costa]

But imagine if you don't beat off for one day.

[Matt McCusker]

I mean, I kind of lose my mind.

[Devin Costa]

Yeah, you'd be happy. I don't know. Lately, I've been able to go when I, like, do shows. I've. Every now and again I'll go to a hotel, sleep there, not beat off and leave in the morning. And I always feel, like. Feel good. Yeah. Yeah. I didn't leave a disgusting towel for that lady to get.

[Matt McCusker]

That's why they're doing it. They're being Muslim guys are just considerate that, like, the women have to clean up our jizz. This.

[Shane Wexler]

You're not jerking straight into the toilet when I'm at a hotel.

[Devin Costa]

The hotel? Yeah, that's. I do that at home.

[Matt McCusker]

You jerk right into the toilet. Like, just get it out. Yeah.

[Devin Costa]

It's a late night. Sneak away for sure.

[Matt McCusker]

I know what you mean.

[Devin Costa]

A hotel. I like, I just. Whatever, dude. Yeah. You just paid the room, not my bed.

[Shane Wexler]

Yeah.

[Matt McCusker]

Treat hotels like we were just. We just turned everything on at ours, dude. That's our favorite. Make sure. Turn the TV on, fan. Get everything going. Get your money.

[Sean Gardini]

Yeah.

[Shane Wexler]

YouTube, you stay on. You're my slave. I own you. But, yeah, dude, well, my bad.

[Matt McCusker]

Tourette's.

[Shane Wexler]

I'm at the Baptist right now.

[Devin Costa]

My bad. So. No. Do you ever lay in a hotel room and think about how many people have came in the bed that you're in? Yeah, yeah. That.

[Matt McCusker]

It's that top cover you got to worry about, right. That they always tell you about.

[Shane Wexler]

Like, that's how I get cozy.

[Matt McCusker]

The one on the top.

[Shane Wexler]

I think about that.

[Devin Costa]

I go, that's how you fall asleep.

[Shane Wexler]

Oh, it's nice.

[Devin Costa]

Yeah, I. I don't know. I. I've always, you know, obviously people are doing stuff in there, but, like, I. I got hit with the, like, genuine scale of it. I was like, dude, it's like every time someone hits one of these beds. Yeah, you're coming.

[Matt McCusker]

Yeah. Me and my ex, we, like, she, like, demanded to, like, leave a Hotel in New York one time because there was just like kind of obvious jizz stains. Yeah.

[Devin Costa]

I thought you're gonna tell a totally different story where she like made you.

[Matt McCusker]

She made me. I kissed all over her. She got the bed wet. It was. She's a pig.

[Devin Costa]

Dude.

[Shane Wexler]

Dude, come on.

[Devin Costa]

It is funny to be like, there's too much jizz in this bed. And you get a different room, you just jizz.

[Shane Wexler]

Like there's not enough jizz on this bed.

[Matt McCusker]

Actually.

[Devin Costa]

You lay down, nothing like crunches or you don't see like a pile of dust just fly out.

[Matt McCusker]

I kind of missed the days when I was like a kid and like nothing came out. Yeah, it was easier. You got the whole feeling the orgasm happened. Nothing came out.

[Devin Costa]

Yeah, man, it was great. The only downside of that is my uncle will be like, what the fuck, man? I thought

[Matt McCusker]

trying to get pregnant over here,

[Shane Wexler]

trying to get bukhaki by my nephew. This is unbelievable.

[Devin Costa]

Yeah, it feels like I always let down my uncle.

[Matt McCusker]

My uncle hates it when he would molest me and I didn't come.

[Devin Costa]

I'm joking. I've never been blessed. But I went to my. I went to Penn State one time years and years ago and it was like my uncle was there with his kid. We're all hanging out and we would go to the bar and I got hammered with my uncle and I always like around with him, but like any time there'd be like a woman there, I'd be like, yeah, it was my uncle. So like, oh great. He's like a handsome guy for his age. He always has been. And every time like, I would kind of like hype him up and be like, yeah, he used to molest me. And then he'd be like, what the fuck, man? He was not. I was crushing him.

[Matt McCusker]

He's like, penn State has no history of molestation.

[Devin Costa]

It's totally true. But I would just be like, I would just like build him up to a babe and he'd be like, nice. And I would say something terrible and they'd be like, oh, what the.

[Shane Wexler]

I mean, it's kind of the ultimate bit with you with your boys.

[Devin Costa]

Yeah.

[Shane Wexler]

You're like, yeah, he's a pedophile.

[Matt McCusker]

I have a friend Joey, that, that if we're in public at like a grocery store and I'm checking out, he goes, just so you know, this guy's a registered sex.

[Shane Wexler]

Like every time, I mean, doing, doing that to your friends, just in a grocery store, be like, he's here to meet a 13 year old boy.

[Matt McCusker]

He levels it up, too. He'll go like, he's a convicted pedophile.

[Shane Wexler]

He's a violent pedophile.

[Matt McCusker]

Violent pedophile.

[Devin Costa]

How do you play it off?

[Matt McCusker]

I just go teeth nuts. I look more like a pet. I look guilty.

[Devin Costa]

No, no, I'm not. No, I'm not. He is. I'm not.

[Matt McCusker]

You can't fight it. You just gotta laugh it off. If I were like, no, and I,

[Shane Wexler]

like, kill myself trying to hit, like, Uno reverse. Like, you're a pedophile, actually, you gotta hit him with.

[Devin Costa]

You wish, but he wishes.

[Shane Wexler]

Did you wish I was a pedophile?

[Matt McCusker]

You wish.

[Devin Costa]

In your dreams.

[Matt McCusker]

Oh, man.

[Devin Costa]

That's a fun prank to play.

[Matt McCusker]

Yeah, he plays a lot of pranks. They're not always fun.

[Devin Costa]

Hitting the. If you have the video, the best one is a video like, you know, you have guys, the cameras. You surround someone in a Walmart and go like, oh, you hear a. That is. I mean, that someone's got to do that prank video. That's got to be so funny.

[Matt McCusker]

They do. That's not even. Like, they don't even pose it as a prank video. They just get people in trouble. There's like. Like, you know, these nihilist Gen Z kids, they just go to, like, Walmart and they'll just, like, point at somebody and be like, this guy. And he's not just a random person.

[Devin Costa]

Yeah, that sucks.

[Matt McCusker]

Sucks. Dude.

[Shane Wexler]

The pedophile hunting is crazy. Part of me, like, I hate to be like, I'm like, you just. You want to beat up an autistic guy. That's all this is.

[Matt McCusker]

Sometimes it is. Sometimes I am like, I'm. I'm uncomfortable with how. I feel, like, weirdly, a little more empathy for the pedophile than the hunters. I'm like, let stop pouring Tabasco in

[Shane Wexler]

his eyes and obviously, like, kill that guy.

[Devin Costa]

But I don't.

[Shane Wexler]

I don't want to see it.

[Matt McCusker]

Take him out back.

[Devin Costa]

Yeah. Do something.

[Shane Wexler]

Yeah.

[Matt McCusker]

I mean, you know.

[Devin Costa]

Well, it's like, you know, if you're. It's hunting, man. You're hunting game. Sometimes you catch a big deer, sometimes you catch a little deer.

[Matt McCusker]

Exactly. But when it turns into, like, an influencer thing, like, you're getting views off

[Shane Wexler]

this, you know, it's gone down a little bit, but for a while there, it was so insane how, like, Aon and like, T Pain.

[Matt McCusker]

Exactly.

[Devin Costa]

All these guys getting, like, celebs to go on. Dude.

[Shane Wexler]

It was like part of the circuit.

[Matt McCusker]

Yeah.

[Shane Wexler]

It was like, you're promoting your album. Like you're Gonna know how to pedophile.

[Matt McCusker]

It's like Ty$sign is like shaving Epstein's head. Mark Tabasco in his face.

[Shane Wexler]

Those were so weird, though. It's like. I mean, because those guys are being hunted for real, right? So it's like there's a pedophile who's in his head. He's like, dude, I'm about to get some little boy y. And then Akon shows up. He goes, this is the best day of my life.

[Devin Costa]

Yeah.

[Shane Wexler]

Holy aon's gonna serenade me a boy. And then he's like, oh, it's the worst day of my life, actually.

[Devin Costa]

Yeah, get me.

[Matt McCusker]

He's like, play locked up. Can you sing locked up?

[Devin Costa]

Yeah. He. It sucks when they're clearly. You're like, oh, this person is like, either severely autistic or like.

[Matt McCusker]

Yeah.

[Devin Costa]

Has something.

[Shane Wexler]

Yeah.

[Devin Costa]

Like, oh, dude. All right.

[Shane Wexler]

They kind of always are there.

[Devin Costa]

Definitely stop the guy from molesting. You gotta stop him. But it's like, I don't know. That should be. You gotta get him back.

[Matt McCusker]

Yeah.

[Shane Wexler]

Just kill him, Sonic bro. You just kill him.

[Devin Costa]

You think so?

[Shane Wexler]

Yeah.

[Devin Costa]

Yeah.

[Matt McCusker]

There's a comic, right?

[Shane Wexler]

I mean, why not? Why kill those people?

[Matt McCusker]

Yeah.

[Devin Costa]

You think so?

[Shane Wexler]

Pedophiles.

[Devin Costa]

Yeah. I mean, all for sure. But it's like if it was like, if you have severe developmental delays and all that stuff, and then like, you get caught being a pedophile, people, like, beat them up. I'm like, all right, dude. Definitely. Yeah.

[Matt McCusker]

It's a disability.

[Devin Costa]

Blow up the. It's kind of like the Baptist.

[Matt McCusker]

There's going to be a pedophile at the Baptist next year.

[Devin Costa]

That was in you. I know what the is in your soul.

[Shane Wexler]

You ever see the pedophile fight back? And they're kind of good. They got hands. There's a couple videos where, like, they beat up the pedophile and pedophile is like, square up right now. And they almost lose a fight to the pedophile. I'm like, dude, could you imagine?

[Devin Costa]

Damn.

[Shane Wexler]

Getting your rocked by a pedophile.

[Matt McCusker]

Buff pedophile. Expendables. Pedophile. God damn. Yes.

[Devin Costa]

Saloon pedophile definitely is not his first

[Matt McCusker]

road Rambo first kid.

[Devin Costa]

It's not his first rodeo. He's trained, he's got. They probably caught up slipping back in the day. Never again has someone for real almost lost to the pedophile in the Walmart.

[Shane Wexler]

Yeah, in like a convenience store, like a liquor store.

[Devin Costa]

Walmart should have, like, a boxing ring for. If someone finds a pedophile, they should yeah, absolutely.

[Matt McCusker]

Like Disney jail or something.

[Devin Costa]

Yeah. Should be an old black guy. Come on, put on the gloves. We're going to settle this like men. Then you get in there and also

[Shane Wexler]

at this point, how dumb you have to be as a pedophile. It's like if a kid's asking you to meet at a fucking gas station, it's a trash app. Are you not seeing these videos?

[Matt McCusker]

Come on. I mean, your dick's never led you to a strange place?

[Shane Wexler]

No. Never once. Not a gas station. I mean, like, all the videos are at a gas station or Walmart. So if I was a pedophile, I'd be on my P's and Q's being like, I've seen the videos. Yeah, you mean, right? I'm not meeting at a Walmart. That's an obvious trap. Look at my ass.

[Devin Costa]

You know what's funny, though? That now it's. Now they think about it, it's pretty, you know, like the bar lets out at 2:00am and that's kind of like. That's 3:00pm is the pedophiles 2:00am

[Sean Gardini]

you

[Devin Costa]

know what I mean? If you're like a teacher pedophile, you're like, it's almost three o' clock and you're like, so, like, what, What?

[Shane Wexler]

You guys just going home after this or what? We can keep the party going if you want. Yeah.

[Devin Costa]

You guys want to do robotics class? This episode is brought to you by Rocket Money. How much time were you spending each month trying to manage your finances before Rocket Money? And what do you do with that extra time now? You don't want to know what I do with that extra time now, but I got a lot of it. Ever since I've been using Get Money. I love that. Dude, these. These prompts are just sparking my own story right now. Oh. I was spending hours just trying to figure out how to manage my finances, and then getting money came along and that time freed up and I became very active in a. Let's just say a certain community that, you know, I brought my wife into. And we know we just. We just play a lot and it's, you know, it's gotten. It's got a little complicated because, you know, when you. When you join certain communities and, you know, open your relationship up to certain things, you cross certain boundaries. But I'm not. Look, I'm not going to get into that. Guys, guys. Rocket Money is a personal finance app that helps find and cancel your unwanted subscriptions. It monitors your spending and helps lower your bills so you can grow Your savings. I mean, if I had to describe something that I love about Rocket Money, it's. I would describe how Rocket Money has tracked subscriptions and how it has the ability to cancel within the app with a few taps, saving time, which, guys, I can't get enough of it these days. And avoiding charges, that is. Oh, it's the best. There's also. I mean, the app also consolidates checking, savings, loans and investments into a single dashboard to give users like myself a clear view of their financial picture, which I have now entered into some sort of financial dominant. But, like, look, let's not talk about that. That's just. It's freed me up to now follow my, you know, true pursuits, which are heavy, heavy kink. Guys, let Rocket Money help you reach your financial goals faster. [e-mail] MSSP that's RocketMoney.com MSSP RocketMoney.com MSSP Guys, I gotta say it again. That's RocketMoney.com MSSB RocketMoney.com MSSP this episode is brought to you by Vuori. So there's a lot of sports out there. Obviously you've got basketball, baseball and football. But then there's running, climbing, yoga, pickleball. But the good news is that you only need one pair of shorts for all of it. The core short from Vuori. That's right. The core short is the short that started it all for Vuori. Fitness, Versatility. One short every sport, guys. They're ideal for fitness, running and training, but also stylish and comfortable. That's important. That is important. I want to be stylish. I want to be stylish and comfortable. Some of their stuff is, like borderline erotica. So if you feel my shorts right here, I'm actually wearing them right now. I'm actually wearing them right now. Dude. Is an investment in happiness. And right now you can get 20 off your first order and free shipping on any US order of 75 and free returns. So get your core shorts [e-mail] secret that's V U O R I.com secret exclusions apply. Visit the website for full terms and conditions.

[Matt McCusker]

Well, that's the thing, like, we're kind of okay with is the women pedophiles. Like, like there's been like a revolution going on lately where it's like every week there's a decently attractive teacher that like, fucked like a 15, 16.

[Devin Costa]

Has that been happening?

[Shane Wexler]

So, yeah, happened like a week ago. Yeah. And she was hot.

[Matt McCusker]

It happens all the time.

[Devin Costa]

Well, now they're reading too much during erotica.

[Matt McCusker]

Yeah.

[Devin Costa]

That's why they're becoming.

[Matt McCusker]

And it's pedophiles.

[Shane Wexler]

They also like make tv. There's like shows about it and it's like hot.

[Devin Costa]

The show's hot.

[Matt McCusker]

Yeah, it's what the FX show called

[Shane Wexler]

like the Teacher or something like that with a Rooney Mara or whatever.

[Devin Costa]

There was a new book that just came out about a. It's from like a. What is it called? I think it's like Jeanette McCurdy. I think she was a. Yeah, yeah. She's a Disney half his age. And it's about like a 17 year old seducing her teacher. I read the whole book. Well, I was, I was gonna have her on.

[Shane Wexler]

I'm on my. I'm on my third reread actually. I can't get enough of this book.

[Devin Costa]

I was gonna have her on because I'm like, man, that's kind of wild. Yeah, because you wrote the book. You could have. It was a senior. She could have been 18 and like, sure, you know, then you would have been. But it's just like, you know, so I was kind of curious. But I read it and it was, it was like kind of. I mean it was like really fucked up. I can spoil if you guys want to hear the ending. I would go ahead, but it's like. So the story is there's this chicken. She's 17, she's like white trash. Her mom's kind of like never there. Her mom's always trying to find like the dude that's going to save her.

[Shane Wexler]

Hot. Yeah, so it's already, it's already hot as hell, dude. So white trash is so hot for some reason I don't know what it is.

[Devin Costa]

So she, you know, and then she has this teacher, the creative writing teacher who like loves her writing and thinks she's like super smart. And then she just becomes as a 17 year old obsessed with like how he's just like, he has like a, you know, a belly, he's receding hairline. And how she's like, I want to make this guy feel good. And like I'm gonna show this guy how to like, you know, like.

[Matt McCusker]

Oh, like a pity. Like I want to give him a great moment.

[Devin Costa]

I just love this guy. Yeah, like, I want this guy.

[Shane Wexler]

She's the nicest lady of all time.

[Devin Costa]

Pretty much. Yeah. And then so she just like sees this guy and he gives her like, you know, some positive attention. Like I like your writing. And I just. It somehow just like triggers something in her where she's like, I am going to. Basically, this guy will be mine. And she, like, seduces him and he carries out an affair with this lady and this girl and eventually leaves his family for her. And then she just, like, they're about to go on a flight together and she's like, this guy sucks and just leaves.

[Shane Wexler]

That's. That's the ending. Oh, man.

[Devin Costa]

After. But they. They have like. There's like a bunch of very gratuitous sex scenes written. It's pretty.

[Shane Wexler]

Oh, okay.

[Devin Costa]

Yeah, yeah.

[Matt McCusker]

That's kind of.

[Shane Wexler]

You just described the most bleak book of all time. Thank God, dude.

[Devin Costa]

But yeah, it was pretty wild. I read it and I was just kind of like, fuck, that's pretty wild.

[Matt McCusker]

Like, what do I take from this?

[Devin Costa]

She realizes. She's like, you don't need a man to justify your existence.

[Matt McCusker]

Right, right. So, yeah. Not just my femininity.

[Devin Costa]

Yeah. And the mom goes to Romantics or. Yeah. Romanaholics Anonymous.

[Matt McCusker]

Romantaholics.

[Devin Costa]

Sexaholics. It's romantic.

[Matt McCusker]

She's, like, obsessed with flirting.

[Devin Costa]

Pretty much. The fact that there's, like, a guy that's going to come save you. Yeah, there's gonna be Romantaholics. Dude, I'm telling you that the. The erotica books aren't even so much about the, like, sex as it is. Like, the two people finally colliding. Like, what are the circumstances leading to that? Is it high class? Low class?

[Shane Wexler]

Well, yeah.

[Devin Costa]

Yeah.

[Shane Wexler]

Because if not, it would just be literal porn.

[Matt McCusker]

So it kind of is like porn comments put in a book.

[Devin Costa]

Yeah, yeah, but it's. It's more so about, like the. It's more about the situation around it than like, just kind of like.

[Matt McCusker]

Right.

[Devin Costa]

And then she sucked his dick. It's not that. It's like they're from two different families. They're not supposed to see each other. He's rich, she's poor.

[Shane Wexler]

Romeo and Juliet.

[Devin Costa]

He sees. Yeah, pretty much.

[Shane Wexler]

Yeah.

[Devin Costa]

I, like, touch her and you die. Yeah, that's about a guy. If, like, someone touches a girl and a guy's like, I'll kill you.

[Shane Wexler]

Oh, yeah.

[Matt McCusker]

Right, right.

[Devin Costa]

So that's what I'm saying. They're getting charged up off of, like, a homicidal.

[Shane Wexler]

Do you have that? I don't have it at all. I'm not, like, protective of over my wife in that way. Like, I. I don't like when she gets hit on. I go, cool.

[Devin Costa]

I'll get a little angry. I was in a casino and a guy was like. He was in a slot machine. Like this. And when she walked by, he did one of these and he like, leaned almost on the floor. Look at her ass. And like, I was like, what the are. You know, it'll get me every now and again.

[Matt McCusker]

He's like, I'm Fentanyl.

[Shane Wexler]

I'm sorry, you can cross the line. But I was at a bar and New York with my wife and I'm sitting at a bar stool and she's in between my legs and I'm like kissing her neck, you know, full lovey dovey. And this like black dude walks up, he looks like Quavo from like Migos. And he comes, he's like, hey, mama, you got a man or what? And I was like, I'm literally holding

[Devin Costa]

her, I'm kissing her.

[Shane Wexler]

And she. He was like, yeah, this is my husband right behind me. He goes, I bet. And he walked away. And I was like, can you believe that guy? And I was like, that's the coolest guy I've ever seen in my entire life.

[Devin Costa]

I would have been furious.

[Shane Wexler]

I was like, that's. I the confidence to like, see what the situation was. Be like, you got a man, man.

[Devin Costa]

That's crazy that it makes me so angry. Yeah.

[Shane Wexler]

I was just shocked. I was like struck by it.

[Devin Costa]

Dude. I. I've almost.

[Matt McCusker]

Why I don't put myself in those positions.

[Devin Costa]

True. Stay away.

[Matt McCusker]

Never with a woman in.

[Shane Wexler]

That's why I'm an incel. Actually,

[Devin Costa]

yeah. I don't know. Something about that really chaps my ass. I was.

[Matt McCusker]

I don't think it's weird.

[Shane Wexler]

I think it's a normal thing. No, no, I think I'm like abnormal.

[Matt McCusker]

Something about men cucking me in public

[Devin Costa]

chaps my ass about a man pretending I don't exist and trying to. My wife, for some reason, grinds my gears.

[Shane Wexler]

Hey, you're really weird, man. That's weird.

[Matt McCusker]

More like him, dude.

[Shane Wexler]

You got more like me, dude.

[Devin Costa]

Well, I, I'll deal. I mean, maybe I should zen out. I mean, it is the fact that I'm cortisol spiking like that in public is embarrassing.

[Matt McCusker]

Spiking? Getting framed.

[Shane Wexler]

These voids are getting to you.

[Devin Costa]

No, I, I. Well, the thing is too, is like, you know, my wife's black, so every now and again like, younger black dudes will like, try to like, what if

[Shane Wexler]

me and Devin had the worst reaction to that.

[Matt McCusker]

I go, what?

[Shane Wexler]

We go, what?

[Devin Costa]

Well, they'll tell every now and again they'll test me as like a thing or like to like, you know.

[Sean Gardini]

Sure.

[Devin Costa]

And every. I'll. I'll completely. 100 Irish spas.

[Shane Wexler]

I got the Irish spasmy for sure.

[Devin Costa]

Yeah, yeah. Once it gets going, it's.

[Shane Wexler]

You can't stop it. It's really embarrassing, too.

[Devin Costa]

No, I was, like, a thing with her, like, co workers one time, and, like, some, like, like, 20 year old popped off, and I, like, fully was in his face, like, I'll kill you. And she was like, dude, can you please chill? He was, like, so young.

[Shane Wexler]

He's like, dude, I'm a virgin. Can you please leave me alone?

[Devin Costa]

I'll you right now kill you.

[Shane Wexler]

Yeah, man. I have that.

[Devin Costa]

It's embarrassing. I'm gonna. You know, I like, I'd like to chill, but I don't know. I can't. I can't do.

[Shane Wexler]

You seem so Zen. You seem so chill.

[Devin Costa]

I'm Zen out, but if I lose it, it's gone. Like, it's just a flick of it.

[Shane Wexler]

I'm kind of the same way.

[Devin Costa]

I'm pretty. I am pretty chill for the most part. I can kind of chill and be like, all right, what does this actually affect. Is this a big deal? Yeah, but every now and again, if I'm in the right mood, you push my buttons.

[Matt McCusker]

I got to get hammered to have the confidence to just scream at somebody and act like I could fight.

[Devin Costa]

That's. That would be. Yeah, that'd be nice. Drinking. I'm either, like, very friendly, but that is the thing. If I'm drunk enough and like someone, it can be like, the littlest thing. I'll be like, what the.

[Matt McCusker]

Yeah, exactly. There's some flip switches. It's kind of scary all of a sudden. Yeah. I think I'm strong and I can handle anything. Fighting words don't exist. I'll say anything, Anything to you. And I'm like, what, you. I'll sue you if you hit me.

[Shane Wexler]

Yeah, hit me. I'll sue you is always great.

[Matt McCusker]

I've yelled that many times.

[Shane Wexler]

Yeah, yeah, sue you.

[Devin Costa]

So nice.

[Matt McCusker]

I go, go ahead. I'll sue you. You don't know how the legal system works.

[Shane Wexler]

Could you imagine, like, actually following through on suing somebody?

[Matt McCusker]

It makes me laugh thinking about taking it that far.

[Shane Wexler]

Actually happened to my buddy one time.

[Devin Costa]

Really?

[Shane Wexler]

We were at a bar in. In Pasadena, and he, like, got, like, a booth. Like, he paid for a booth with, like, bottles and all that stuff.

[Matt McCusker]

Stuff.

[Shane Wexler]

And he kept inviting girls over, and they're like, where's our husband?

[Devin Costa]

I like that.

[Shane Wexler]

He's like, you know? And then the girls are like, where's our guys? We can't Come in. He's like, your guys. And the guys got all pissed, and we had, like, you know, die down the situation. Like, all right, everyone chill. Whatever, Blah, blah. Me and my friend went to the bathroom. We came back, he's just getting stomped out the booth by all these guys. No, like, absolutely. Up, like, eggs on his head, getting killed.

[Devin Costa]

Was it high ground?

[Shane Wexler]

Yeah, it was like a table. Like a secret, like, you know, like a club type table.

[Devin Costa]

But what I'm saying, was it up higher than, like, or.

[Shane Wexler]

Yeah, yeah, it was, like, elevated a little bit.

[Devin Costa]

Him. He couldn't defend the position.

[Matt McCusker]

Exactly.

[Shane Wexler]

Yeah. And he had the high ground. It's crazy.

[Matt McCusker]

Yeah.

[Devin Costa]

But I mean, it was by himself, literally. Siege warfare.

[Shane Wexler]

We thought. We thought we, like, you know, killed the situation. It's all good. We come back from the bathroom, he's just getting stomped out completely bleeding everywhere, bruises all over the place. He woke up the next morning, he sued the bar for, like, lack of security. Hey, huge settlement.

[Matt McCusker]

That's the thing.

[Devin Costa]

Did he really, bro?

[Shane Wexler]

I think he got, like, a hundred and fifty thousand dollars from this bar.

[Matt McCusker]

What? Lawsuits rule.

[Shane Wexler]

Yeah. Isn't that crazy?

[Matt McCusker]

I sued Post. I just. They. They banned me for stealing food. So I po. I sued them, and I won, like, $24,000.

[Devin Costa]

What?

[Matt McCusker]

Yeah, it was kind of crazy. I mean, I'm. You know, I'm exaggerating a little bit, but, like, yeah, they, like, the app banned me. And then I. I. You know, you get like, those mesothelio. You just sign like, an email, like, sure. I'm a part of a class action thing. And one day I just kept getting calls from some law office in Chicago, and I'd be like, what is this? I kept ignoring it, and then finally they got a hold of me, and they were like, we think you could go to arbitration. And this. I was like, oh, this is like a real thing. Why am I. I guess I signed something that most people don't.

[Devin Costa]

Yeah.

[Matt McCusker]

So I put myself in a situation where I'm like, yeah, sure, I'll actually, like, be a part of this.

[Devin Costa]

Why did you get fired again?

[Matt McCusker]

Oh, you

[Shane Wexler]

take.

[Matt McCusker]

Get an order and then cancel the order and then eat a meal. I had, like, I had a genuine reason. Yeah, but it's. No one's working for them, so I'm like, but my phone's going to like,

[Devin Costa]

are you delivering for them or ordering?

[Matt McCusker]

Canceled. Yeah, I did Uber. I would do them all at the same time. And, like.

[Devin Costa]

And you would. They would have an order and you would just be like, actually, I'M not going to take this the first.

[Matt McCusker]

Yeah, sometimes. I mean, technically postmates. I didn't steal the food that often. Uber eats all the time. Uber eats constantly. I call Uber. I, I figured out that they didn't track your, like, car or your, or who you were. And it's just some like, sad lady in like the Philippines picking up the phone. So I would, at the end of a night, at the end of, at the end of a long day of delivering food, because you get, if you cancel the order, you also get paid for the mileage too.

[Devin Costa]

What?

[Matt McCusker]

Like, like, well, we're sorry, it's the restaurant.

[Devin Costa]

You go like, I can't do it.

[Matt McCusker]

And they're like, oh, it's okay, your car is broken. Fine, just try to get back out there. But I. So, so at the end of every delivery shift, I would like, work. You make like 60 bucks working like nine hours. It's terrible. No one tips. Just delivering to like, like celebrities.

[Devin Costa]

And I tip, I always tip my Uber.

[Matt McCusker]

Thank you. Thank you. It's appreciated.

[Shane Wexler]

Did you ever deliver food?

[Devin Costa]

I was a pizza guy for a while.

[Shane Wexler]

Yeah.

[Devin Costa]

Yeah.

[Shane Wexler]

So you have the empathy.

[Devin Costa]

I have the empathy.

[Shane Wexler]

I tipped the. Out of them.

[Devin Costa]

Yeah. It's crazy.

[Shane Wexler]

Why wouldn't you Same. They're risking their lives to bring you

[Devin Costa]

the food and you see the service charge. I think the service charge gets people being like them. As a pizza guy, it was the same thing. It'd be like there was a delivery fee.

[Shane Wexler]

Yeah.

[Devin Costa]

Restaurant.

[Matt McCusker]

Yes.

[Devin Costa]

And I would get my, my tip.

[Matt McCusker]

So, like, it was like my version of like giving myself a little nice end to like a long day.

[Devin Costa]

Yeah.

[Matt McCusker]

So I would pick up, I'd wait for a huge order, like a gigantic. I'd like feed my friends. And so I go pick it up. And then I get in my car, I drive a little bit away from the restaurant, then I'd call and be like, my car broke down. It was kind of fun. I got to like pretend, like, to act and stuff too.

[Shane Wexler]

I'm like, I don't know.

[Matt McCusker]

My car, you know, the engine is smoking. It's, yeah, I'm dead. And they go, oh, it's okay. Just try to get back out there. And then they cancel it. I get paid for like, you know, an 11 mile drive and then I get to keep all the food. I did this, like, I'm not kidding, once a night for like seven months straight. I felt bad initially the first time I ever did it, and then I found out that like the restaurant, they still get paid. Like it comes out of the, like, Uber.

[Devin Costa]

Yeah.

[Matt McCusker]

Like, it's not like, like the people have to remake it, but they didn't. Like, they don't lose their money or whatever.

[Devin Costa]

Dude eventually gets his meal. Just a little later and he'll be fine. Yeah. And then. Yeah, that's kind of sweet.

[Matt McCusker]

Yeah, it was. I mean, I, I'm not like, super proud of it, but.

[Devin Costa]

Sorry to interrupt the podcast, guys, but this episode is brought to you by prizepix. Shoot your shot on Prize Picks and get 50 instantly in lineups when you play your first $5. That's right, Prize Picks is now giving you $50 in lineups when you sign up and play your first $5. Prizepix makes every dunk, every dime and every board that much more exciting. So don't miss this chance to get started on America's number one app for sports picks. It's got me thinking about discussing specific players that I've seen play really well with my audience right now. And if I had to guess or think of one guy who I think's really got it in terms of basketball, I don't know if you guys ever heard of this guy. His name's LeBron James. I think he has been. He's just been spectacular out there and I'm really admiring what he's doing. And if I, you know, if I was on Prize Picks, if I was on the number one app for sports picks, I might say maybe I can win big on this LeBron feller. Prize picks is simple to play. Just pick more or less on two to six player stat rejections. If you get your picks right, you could cash in, pick from all your favorite sports, anything from basketball, baseball, hockey, ufc, soccer, college basketball, tennis, golf, esports and more. If you can believe that, get in on the action. Prize Picks is now available on in all 50 states including California, Texas, Florida and Georgia. Download the Prize Picks app today and use code drench to get 50 in lineups after you play your first five dollar lineup. That's code drenched to get $50 in lineups after you play your 1st five dollar lineup. Prize picks. It's good to be right. Hey, real quick, while I have you guys, I have some shows coming up and well, we have some good news and bad news. Good, well, depends on. For me, the good news is I'll be in Cleveland and Pittsburgh this weekend. March 6th, Cleveland, March 7th, Pittsburgh. And I'm not fronting. I think both shows are going to sell out. So if you want to come, here's your cta. Your call to action if you want to come to those shows and Clits if you want to come to those shirts. Almost called it Clitzburg. That's great. Crazy. Cleveland, Ohio or Pittsburgh. Freudian slip. Yeah, just come, you can get my tickets. I think there's a link in this video to get them pretty sick. And also after that I'll be in St. Louis, Missouri, Indianapolis, St. Paul, Missouri. I guess that's Mo, Missouri, Des Moines, Iowa, Phoenix. Here's the big one guys. All of them are selling pretty well. God damn that Phoenix. Celebrity Theater is. It's not till April 17th so we have some time. But that shows in the round and I actually enjoy performing in the round. So if you want to see my butt for like good 10 second stretches while I, I do my thing and you know, I'll turn around, I'll show you my bulge at the celebrity Theater as well. It'll be button bulge all night at the celebrity Theater. Just an angry little micro bulge. I'll wear some joggers that night so everyone gets their money's worth. They can all go hahaha, look at that, it's barely sticking out. Guys, I'll be in Tucson, Arizona. Toronto is a big one. Two shows. Again, not bragging. Nature of the beast. Two shows both have sold out in Toronto. I'm thinking about adding a third. So Canadians. I know I've said a lot of bad things about your country. I was just kidding around. I love you guys. You guys love me more than all these bastards in Phoenix, Arizona apparently. So come on out to the shows. And then Chicago, of course will be at the Riviera Theater. Probably gonna add a second show there hopefully because that, that thing done sold out May 26, so whatever. Hopefully that makes sense to you guys. Go to mattmcusker.com and yeah, come to a show man. We're having a good time. Also I'll be doing Algonauts in Austin, Texas. That's once a month. I do that where me and Tim Butterly take people's cell phones, project their algorithm through Instagram, usually on the screen and you know, try to get a picture of like who is this person? What, what are they? What is the algorithm being sent to them or what is being sent to them through the algorithm? What does that say about them? What doesn't it say about them? Because you can't just judge someone on their algorithm. Or maybe you can, I don't know, come out to that. That's at the Creek, Creek and Cave. So if you go to Creek and Caveatx you can get that. And last and I don't remember the saying last and cool enough. Guys, I'm tired. Last and most importantly, noble bomb. I'll be in Philadelphia March 16th. I'm gonna. I'm just visiting family. Figured I'd strut my stuff on the old flagship stage. That is helium Philadelphia. I'm gonna get some of my friends, and we're all gonna try newish materials, stuff we're working on. It'll be fun. Come out. It'll be St. Patty's Day weekend. You can get drunk. If that's what you feel you must, must do. And if you're trying really hard not to be drunk, well, try to hold out. Come to the show. Be sober. You know, be fun. Learn how to be fun while sober. Or get hammered on St. Patty's Day. It's really up to you. All these. I'm laying out choices. That's all I'm doing. I'm not trying to coerce you. I'm not trying to manipulate you. I'm just giving you choices. Do whatever you want. Love you guys. Back to the show.

[Sean Gardini]

Pardon the interruption. Pardon the interruption. This is Sean Gardini. I just wanted to let you guys know that I'll be in Salt Lake City, Utah, at Wise Guys Comedy Club March 27th and 28th with Nate Marshall. So please come see that show if you'd like. And I'll be at the Comet in Cincinnati. Not Comet, ping pong. Just the Comet in Cincinnati on May 22nd and 23rd. So please come to those. That was a little joke there, but I'd like to, like, I'd really like to see you guys at the show, so please come if you can. Tickets [e-mail] and we also have Optimum Noctis at the Creek in the Cave in Austin, Texas, Me, Nate Marshall, and Lamar Lee every first and third Tuesday of the month. So thank you very much for your time. Pardon the interruption. Enjoy the rest of the show.

[Devin Costa]

No, I. I work for Insomnia. Do you guys have Insomnia cookies? Yeah.

[Shane Wexler]

Well, I know not in la.

[Devin Costa]

Did you know of it? I worked for Insomnia Cookies when I was in college. I had this idea that, like, I was like, dude, I could totally stay up all night one day a week and be fine. So I was like, I'll work during the day, go to school, and then I'll stay up all night and deliver Insomnia cookies and just ride it into, like, Tuesday. I was like, you don't have to sleep every Night.

[Shane Wexler]

If I do, like, the worst version of hustle culture I've ever heard, I

[Devin Costa]

was like, if I just do one all nighter a week, I'll take a nap. I'll be fine.

[Shane Wexler]

Totally.

[Devin Costa]

And I did insomnia cookies. And, you know, so I would go in there and I wanted to do my bike. And they're like, we have enough bike delivery people. You have a car? I'm like, yeah, I have a car. So I get this big order put in my car. I. I, like, pull up to the place, pop my tire on. Like, in Philly has a lot of these, like, metal lining. So the curbs. I don't know why they do it. Curb. They'll put, like, a coping on it. And. And I just popped my tires. One of them was sticking out. I was like. So I'm like, sitting there with a pop tire. I call insomnia being like, yo, my tires pop. And they're pretty much like, yes. Figure it out. I was like. So I'm like, okay, support. No support whatsoever. And, you know, it was one of those cars that had, like, the hubcap key where you needed to get, like, a certain thing from inside, even take the tire. And it was just like, I was stressed out. It was a very stressful night. And, yeah, luckily, this old black guy came up. I was like, what the hell are you doing? And he was like, you saw it. He goes, oh, that's a Mercury. I had the soft top Mercury Cougar, okay? And it was like, old black dudes out of the car. So they were like, bro, you need the help, cap. So this old guy came up. He knew exactly what I needed. Pause. And, like,

[Shane Wexler]

He's walking over you, zipping down his pants like, oh, what you doing, man?

[Matt McCusker]

I know what you need.

[Devin Costa]

Hey, dude. He completely dad bogged me. And he, like, knew he got the. He, like, you needed. You need a security key. He showed me. He took it out me, like, you know, paused again. He fixed the tire. So he fixed the tire. So, you know, my black daddy came, fixed the tire.

[Sean Gardini]

Yeah.

[Devin Costa]

And then so I go back to insomnia. A bit of a chip on my shoulder. Now they're like. And they're like, are you ready for more deliveries? And I was like, that's all you guys care about, huh? I hadn't slept. I hadn't slept all night. I'm all sensitive. Like, you guys don't even care about me, do you?

[Shane Wexler]

There's nothing worse than, like, working at a job. And people care about the job.

[Matt McCusker]

Job.

[Shane Wexler]

Oh, you're higher ups. You know what I mean? Yeah. I worked at Abercrombie and Fitch.

[Devin Costa]

Did you?

[Shane Wexler]

Come on.

[Devin Costa]

Was that shirtless or was that Hollister?

[Shane Wexler]

They asked me to do shirtless, and I said, I can't do it because it's like a hundred bucks a day. I was like, that's not the price. Yeah, that's crazy. To be shirtless in a mall.

[Devin Costa]

That's me.

[Matt McCusker]

And I didn't know him in high school. We stopped hanging out with a guy when he got a job at Abercrombie.

[Devin Costa]

Really?

[Matt McCusker]

I mean, we're kidding. But we were kind of like, we. We really, like.

[Shane Wexler]

I don't mean to realize him for doing it.

[Devin Costa]

Yeah, yeah.

[Shane Wexler]

I mean, I got. I got recruited.

[Matt McCusker]

Did.

[Devin Costa]

Whoa.

[Shane Wexler]

Genuinely. By three different Abercrombies. I'm walking like a community college campus. People are like, do you want a job? And I was like, no, I'm good. And then the third time, I was like, all right, I'll take the job.

[Devin Costa]

Really?

[Shane Wexler]

Constantly happening.

[Devin Costa]

And they're like, thank you, Mr. Wexler. I'll be glad.

[Shane Wexler]

But, dude, I, I. Yeah, I worked there for, I think, three weeks. Worst job of all time. It's like four hour shifts. It feels like it's 10 hours. They pump the perfume through the vents. You're like, nauseous headache.

[Devin Costa]

Retail is the one job I've never worked at anytime.

[Matt McCusker]

Just hearing the same song over and over again. Stacking pants.

[Shane Wexler]

People who work retail, I'm like, why are you doing this work anywhere else?

[Devin Costa]

Yeah, people get addicted. There's some people I know who just do retail, like, clothing stores. A lot of younger women do it because they can get the discount and they can get their clothes. Yeah, right. But, yeah, it always seemed, like, super fucking miserable.

[Shane Wexler]

Well, dude, yeah. So I'm working there. And, like, I also got, like, class action, like, checks from these people all the time because they were just fully illegal, you know? Like, so I, like. I get the job. They make me buy an outfit. Like, you have to dress head to toe in Abercrombie. They make you buy it. So I had to spend, like, $140

[Devin Costa]

on discount, though, isn't it?

[Shane Wexler]

It's not. It was, like, 20% off.

[Devin Costa]

What?

[Shane Wexler]

It's an expensive store. And I was like, 19, you know?

[Devin Costa]

Yeah. That's kind of brutal.

[Shane Wexler]

So I remember, like, I went. The manager was like, this, like, really, like, gay guy, you know, And I go, and I put my shirt on and wear a large. I like baggier clothes. And he goes, it's not small enough. And I was like, for real? And he goes, yeah, tighter. Put a medium out. He goes, not tight enough.

[Devin Costa]

What?

[Shane Wexler]

And I was like, like, what? This is crazy. You're like, you. You're raping me right now.

[Devin Costa]

You know that's crazy.

[Shane Wexler]

I go, put a small on, dude. My arms, like, cutting circulation off. He's like, perfect.

[Matt McCusker]

Yeah.

[Shane Wexler]

And then they make me, like, pose for photos for, like, the employee catalog. I have no clue what's going on, but I'm truly in a shirt that's, like, killing me and pants that are killing me. And then I just had such a weird vibe from that, that I was like, I can't do this job. And I put my two weeks in. I was like, I'm out of here, you know?

[Devin Costa]

Yeah.

[Shane Wexler]

And then that manager came up to

[Devin Costa]

me, fine, you can wear a medium.

[Shane Wexler]

No, for real. For real, dude. It's the worst thing I've ever heard in my life. He heard that I put my two weeks in. He comes up and he goes, so I heard you're too good for the Fitch.

[Matt McCusker]

Wow,

[Shane Wexler]

dude. I went, dude, I quit now. And I left. I just left the store. Too good for the Fitch. I was like, you're the worst person I've ever met, dude. So heard you're too good for the Fitch. This is, like, a guy who's, like, a career manager of Abercrombie.

[Devin Costa]

He's probably the regional dude.

[Shane Wexler]

He moved from Salt Lake City to Glendale, California, to, like, manage this Abercrombie.

[Devin Costa]

That is the thing with retail. It sucks. But if you become, like, a, you know, regional or whatever director, you. You kind of have, like, a cakewalk the rest of your life. You just drive around, check on stores, and you get paid, like, 100 something grand.

[Matt McCusker]

Yeah, for sure. I mean, I know people that, like, make a really good living. Just, like, they work their way up at, like, in and out.

[Devin Costa]

Yeah.

[Matt McCusker]

And yeah, I knew.

[Devin Costa]

I know dude who did it at Target, like, years ago, he was just like, the regional VP or something. He just. He's like, I just drive to stores. And I'm like, man, it looks good.

[Matt McCusker]

Yeah.

[Shane Wexler]

I don't think I've ever had a good job.

[Matt McCusker]

No.

[Devin Costa]

Like, never once dog walking was sick. But I. I think the boss.

[Shane Wexler]

The money's not good, though, right? Yeah, money sucks. I've never, like, once had a job. I'm like, I could do this.

[Devin Costa]

Yeah.

[Matt McCusker]

I worked on a weed farm for a while. It was kind of fun.

[Devin Costa]

That's kind of chill.

[Matt McCusker]

You could just smoke weed and trim

[Devin Costa]

and you know what I painted with my friend? That was nice. We painted house houses. Yeah, that was actually pretty. Actually, like, kind of like that. I got paid, you know, decently. Oh, dude, the. I forgot to tell you. So the. The. I just completely forgot the whatchamacallit. What's it called? Insomnia cookies or whatever. So then when I pulled back up and they. I could tell they didn't care. I went in like, you. Can you take another order? And I was the same thing. I was like, I'll take an order. I was like, I'm taking this right home and eating it. But, like, yeah, like. So I take an order, and I'm like, all right, I'm gonna go get these. And my roommates were gonna eat cookies. And then I, like, forgot my jacket, and they were like, oh, dude, can you take another order? And, like, a bunch of milks. And they hand me, like, a massive cookie order with a bunch of milk. And I was just like, definitely taking this all home. So I went home to my. I just left. And I was like. I went back and I was, like, sitting there eating cookies with my roommates. And then I had the phone numbers for the orders on the little slip. Yeah. So I started calling them and being like, yo, I'm outside. Where are you? And they're like, huh, I don't see you. And I'm like, like, oh, come outside, man. So I had this guy walking around looking for cookies. I was, like, 19, and I called him. And I was like, yo. I was like, oh, dude. I had to spin the block. There was a bunch of, like, really shady guys standing outside. And he was like, where? I'm like, I don't know, dude. I think it was like, a gang outside.

[Matt McCusker]

You gotta watch out for those guys, man. They're always trying to steal my cookies.

[Devin Costa]

And he was like. I was like, just keep coming down. Like, wave your. Are you. Wave your arm so I can see. So the guy was outside. I had him doing all these, like, weird, like, calisthenics.

[Matt McCusker]

Yeah.

[Shane Wexler]

You're like, I think the Bloods are an Ambler, Pennsylvania.

[Devin Costa]

It was. It was University of Penn. Gotcha. I was like, dude, there was these guys out there. I think it was, like, a gang, bro. What the hell? He was just like, I don't. I don't see anybody out here. I'm like, I'll be back, man. I gotta spend the bl.

[Shane Wexler]

Dude, for my own safety. I'm not making this delivery, dude. Can't do it, dude. I might die.

[Devin Costa]

But then I called the headquarters of Insomnia as one of the other deliveries that never got ordered. And I called like, hey, my order never came here. And they were like, oh, you know, blah, blah, making all these things. And, like, as they were like, hey, we'll figure it out. I was like, I probably should eat them, I'm so fat anyway. And they started being like, oh, come on, man, don't say that. I'm like, no, I'm a. I'm a fat piece of. I just shouldn't even have. I don't.

[Shane Wexler]

Probably the weirdest shift that guy's ever had. I'm like, I think I have to talk. He's gonna kill himself, I think.

[Devin Costa]

I don't know. This store finally called me, like, an hour later, like, are you okay?

[Shane Wexler]

Yeah.

[Devin Costa]

I was like, no, I'm chilling. And they're like, okay. And they just hung up.

[Shane Wexler]

Up.

[Devin Costa]

Yeah, that was the end of that.

[Matt McCusker]

I used to deliver whippets to a drug addict.

[Devin Costa]

Did you really?

[Matt McCusker]

Compton? Yeah. Because I don't even understand. You can go to a smoke shop and just buy, like, whippets.

[Devin Costa]

Yeah.

[Matt McCusker]

And there's galaxy somehow. Like, it's like, I guess the. The law, like, is like, oh, no. People also just love whipped cream in stock or something. Like, I don't know. But yeah. And this guy tipped very well. He would literally answer the door, like a Breaking Bad meth head, like, in a robe, like, and, like, grab this big package of, like, Like. Yeah, whippets. I would get him from, like, a smoke shop for, like, Uber.

[Devin Costa]

It was just.

[Matt McCusker]

It was legal, dude apparent.

[Devin Costa]

So apparently if you do whippets all the time, like, that, your body just stops producing vitamin B12. Like, it like, you up.

[Shane Wexler]

That's what puts holes in your brains too, right? Like, your brain has, like, weird spots. I don't know.

[Matt McCusker]

Probably the biohacking whip it addict. It's like, you gotta supplement with the whippets.

[Devin Costa]

Well, there's a. There was a lady who went, like, paralyzed, like, so you're like, legs stop working. Because it's something to do with your body not producing, like, certain things. And, like, it just shuts it off. Dude, that. And did you ever. With seven. Oh, no, that is seven. Oh is. It's funny because I brought it up one time because I just, like, found out what it was, and I, like, brought it up on a podcast and never finished talking about it. So people are like, dude, whatever you do, please don't do. It's like seven. Oh is Kratom. That's been, like, processed and Refined, almost like, you know, there's like. Like Percocets and then Oxycontin or It's like the same ingredient, but you just make it super strong. So seven oh is the. They sell at gas stations. That's like stronger than morphine.

[Matt McCusker]

Yeah.

[Devin Costa]

But you can just go buy it at a gas station. So like, people go there. So you're there, you know, you're at the gas station, you're like, yeah, let me get, you know, let me get some zins. And those guys, some of the guys would be like, oh, man. Set. Try to 7 oh. And people are like, what's it like? It's like, it's very chill. And there's dudes that start doing it. They become literally. They got to go on like, like methadone to get off.

[Shane Wexler]

Crazy.

[Matt McCusker]

Christ. It's like the smoke shops were selling spice for a while. It was like the fake weed. People were having like, seizures.

[Devin Costa]

And dude, I've talked to people who do like a lot of drugs and like meth, heroin. They're like, dude, K2 is up.

[Shane Wexler]

Yeah.

[Devin Costa]

Which is, you know, same thing. And it's like, yeah, it's a big jail drug. People do. They would do K2 in jail because it's like ketamine. No, it's a spice.

[Shane Wexler]

Oh, spice.

[Devin Costa]

Yeah, yeah. Synthetic weed. Weed call it deuce. Yeah. It's like crush. You're like, yeah, dude, we're smoking deuce. And like my friend who's done literally every single drug you can imagine is like, Bro, K2 is up.

[Shane Wexler]

Yeah.

[Devin Costa]

Yeah.

[Shane Wexler]

I mean, I can't smoke weed even.

[Devin Costa]

Like, you should try spice once.

[Shane Wexler]

You think I should? I'll lose my mind.

[Devin Costa]

I knew dudes who could smoke like ounces of weed.

[Shane Wexler]

Yeah.

[Devin Costa]

And they would have. They had like, they would go on probation. They would smoke spice. And they were like, bro, that was up.

[Matt McCusker]

He smokes weed, he turns into like the Coney 2012 guy who just starts jacking off

[Devin Costa]

it. You up, up.

[Shane Wexler]

Dude, it me up in a crazy way. Last time I smoked weed, I was probably like 24. And my friends from California, I was living in New York, they sent me like a weed pen. I ripped it twice. I was up till 5am crying, cuz I couldn't remember like Alan Rickman's name. I'm like in bed with my wife. I'm like, what's his name?

[Devin Costa]

She's like, who?

[Shane Wexler]

And I'm like, in Harry Potter. And she's like, daniel Rack.

[Matt McCusker]

I'm like, you bitch.

[Shane Wexler]

No, I made her going like, IMDb and she goes, alan Rickman. I go, yeah. Oh, God, I love weed, dude. Truly. And then, like, I. I remember, like, that same night, I was, like, such a cliche. I was, like, watching Family Guy to comfort me. I was like, I need something, like, comfortable to watch.

[Matt McCusker]

Yeah.

[Shane Wexler]

I would laugh at a scene in Family Guy and then start crying because I forgot what I laughed at.

[Devin Costa]

Oh, no.

[Shane Wexler]

Weed does something to me that. It's unbelievable what it does to me. I get Alzheimer's, truly, dude. I have dementia when I smoke. Smoke weed and I'm scared.

[Devin Costa]

You know, there. There is something scary about that, though, because I. I used to smoke weed constantly. And like, having, like, the coolest thought ever that's going to change your life, and then two seconds later going, wait, what was that? Right? Forget it. What the Is going? Yeah, you do get, like.

[Shane Wexler]

So I do that and then cry like a baby.

[Devin Costa]

Yeah.

[Shane Wexler]

I'm, like, way too emotional. It fractures me, dude.

[Devin Costa]

What room I'm in. So I'd be, like, so high, and I'd be in the bathroom, like, peeing, and I'd finish peeing and just be sitting there, like, slowly be like, where am I? And I look around like, oh, man.

[Matt McCusker]

I used to smoke so much weed that I'd get, like, panic attacks.

[Devin Costa]

Yeah.

[Matt McCusker]

From them. And, like. But I knew how to handle them. And I'd be like, all right, I'm gonna go put my feet up, get some blood to my head. And then the next day be like, that's good. We not thinking about. Like, that's kind of a crazy experience to have had.

[Devin Costa]

I would also, on dates when I was younger, I would go. I would get secretly so high from edibles and go on dates. Yeah. So, like, I'd be like, a movie date. Just, like, chill with my wife now. I went to the movies one time at, like, you know, middle of the day, and I was, like, panicking from inedible. I went in the bathroom, and I'd be, like, midday, like, staring at myself in the mirror, being like, dude, you can alter your reality right now. You don't have to be afraid. It's all in your head. Like, go now.

[Shane Wexler]

Get back in there and enjoy Wuthering Heights. All right? You have to. For your wife and your family, you have to enjoy it.

[Devin Costa]

Watch it like. Like a Marvel movie.

[Shane Wexler]

Yeah.

[Devin Costa]

I go back in and be like, I think I just hacked my brain. Right. I'll never be afraid.

[Shane Wexler]

I think I'm Iron Man.

[Matt McCusker]

Actually, we're immortal. I just found out we're immortal.

[Devin Costa]

Yeah. I don't. I rarely. I'll like. I'm like such a baby with it. We're all like. It's like a little bit.

[Matt McCusker]

It changed my brain over time. I just smoked it so much that as I got older, I was like, I, I. Why am I doing it this to myself? I'm like nervous and uncomfortable in public now. It used to be like the total opposite. Yeah. It just me up now.

[Shane Wexler]

Yeah. I'm just not a drug guy at all. I've never done cocaine.

[Devin Costa]

Me either.

[Shane Wexler]

Yeah. Never will. I don't understand the point.

[Devin Costa]

Never will. Never have.

[Shane Wexler]

I did Molly for the first time with Devin. That's New Year's.

[Matt McCusker]

Yeah.

[Devin Costa]

Molly's chill.

[Shane Wexler]

I think I lost my mind.

[Devin Costa]

Well, yeah, at a party. It'd be tough, but I feel. Was it a party?

[Shane Wexler]

It was an Airbnb in Joshua Tree. It was sick. It was actually great.

[Matt McCusker]

The heights.

[Shane Wexler]

It was just me and holding each other there. We became one. I'm caressing his back.

[Devin Costa]

No, Molly with the bros is nice though.

[Shane Wexler]

It was me and all my like high school bros and Devin and everyone's

[Matt McCusker]

drinking too, though, so you're not really getting the full experience.

[Devin Costa]

The kicking on. Molly does this. Actually. This is kind of embarrassing because I. I've only ever. Well, this isn't the embarrassing part, I think, but I've only ever taken it with my wife. We go to a hotel room, we take it and we just like, chill.

[Shane Wexler]

That was the best part though.

[Devin Costa]

That's. Chill kicks in. I need her to like, like hold me because I like. It hits me so hard.

[Shane Wexler]

Do you shake?

[Matt McCusker]

Yeah. The first time I ever did it, like earthquake. Like the whole world started shaking and it came on and I like.

[Shane Wexler]

You ever seen like butterfly effect?

[Devin Costa]

Yeah.

[Shane Wexler]

You know when he like transitions to a new timeline. That's how Molly hits me. The whole world's doing this. And I was like, holy. This is most scared I've ever been. Yeah.

[Devin Costa]

Yeah.

[Shane Wexler]

The high was cool. The come down was the worst I've ever felt my entire life.

[Devin Costa]

So, yeah, I. The come down for me is not bad, right?

[Matt McCusker]

I have a problem with it.

[Devin Costa]

I learned if you just have. If you just smoke a little bit of weed during like a vape pen during the lose. Yeah, but like, you gotta. That's. My brother was like, just sip it from the vape pen. Just have a little bit. That actually did help. Last time I did it was like the comedown was kind enough and I went out, I ate a huge meal.

[Matt McCusker]

Sam. I felt like really happy actually for about A week after I first did it.

[Devin Costa]

Yeah.

[Shane Wexler]

If I. If I. If I cope with the come down with weed, I wouldn't be here today. I think it would actually kill. Kill me.

[Devin Costa]

Yeah. Yeah. I mean, the. The come down can be. I. I could see it being kind of uncomfortable.

[Shane Wexler]

Dude. I feel like I was going down a roller coaster for three days straight.

[Devin Costa]

Really?

[Shane Wexler]

I had that, like, body anxiety. Like, my. My stomach's in my throats.

[Devin Costa]

Really.

[Shane Wexler]

Three days straight.

[Devin Costa]

My. I think my baseline is so low and depressive that, like, the Molly wear off. I'm just like, all right.

[Matt McCusker]

I. I still feel like he hates when I. I discount that it's the Molly that gave him this feeling. We were, like, binge drinking for days on end. There's, like, nothing worse than alcohol. Like, it makes me. I have, like, visions when I' over.

[Devin Costa]

I. Dude, I'm the same way if I drink heavily for. If I. Especially if I, like, tackle, like, two days together, I'm, like, anxious and depressed for, like, three days straight.

[Matt McCusker]

Yeah.

[Shane Wexler]

I mean, it didn't help for sure, but I've been hungover a million times. I've never. I'm hungover right now.

[Devin Costa]

True.

[Shane Wexler]

So, you know. Yeah, I don't. I feel all right, you know?

[Devin Costa]

Okay. That's fair. But now I. I think maybe the Molly by itself, if you ever try it, completely by itself. I don't think it's that. It's pretty chill, actually.

[Matt McCusker]

Yeah. The first time I ever did it, I. I. I had, like, two tall cans. I was like, this sucks. And then my friend had given me a bag of Molly because I was very depressed about Kobe dying. And he was like, you gotta get. You gotta get out. You gotta get out of this funk, man.

[Devin Costa]

That's.

[Matt McCusker]

It was. He's a great guy.

[Devin Costa]

Nice.

[Matt McCusker]

Yeah. Love you, Mark.

[Devin Costa]

That's so funny. Yeah.

[Shane Wexler]

Yeah.

[Matt McCusker]

And we were all gonna do, like. It was very. We were all gonna do, like, mushrooms. And then it just kind of fell through, and I was just kind of like, man, I wanted to. Like, it was in the pandemic. Yeah, we're all stuck inside. So I just kept, like, dipping into this. This bag of Molly throughout the night. And then it all hit at once and everything shook, and it was, like, crazy. And I vomited. And then I went into the bathtub and just, like, kept feeling, like, the tub and. And then I just stayed up all night watching Kobe highlights and just going like this, like, in front of the tv. It was amazing. It was, like, amazing. Everyone else hated me because they had the. I kept Vomiting and making their lives horrible. But I had a great time.

[Shane Wexler]

No, it was great, man. My best night was their worst night. It's awesome.

[Devin Costa]

So funny all night.

[Matt McCusker]

Just truly. My friend came up, he came upstairs to check on me and I was just like doing this in front of

[Shane Wexler]

the TV cartoon character. Cartoon. You're like a Sims character. That's glitching.

[Matt McCusker]

I went to bed grinning. Like, I remember falling asleep. Like, it was amazing.

[Shane Wexler]

I mean, I've seen you watch Kobe highlights sober. It's the happiest I've ever seen.

[Matt McCusker]

I love it. Love it.

[Shane Wexler]

Kobe freak over here.

[Devin Costa]

That's awesome.

[Matt McCusker]

Obsessed.

[Devin Costa]

Yeah, that's awesome. My cousin played against the Mamba in summer league.

[Matt McCusker]

For real?

[Devin Costa]

Yeah. He was a really good basketball player and he played in the summer league. And I remember him being like, dude, there's this guy, he's from Italy and he's like. He's like. And my cousin was really good and he was just like, bro, like, this guy's a freak. He's definitely going to the NBA. That's Cody.

[Matt McCusker]

That's the greatest I met. You know Pedro.

[Devin Costa]

Yeah.

[Matt McCusker]

When I started doing comedy with Pedro, Pedro said he went to Lower Marion and I was like, can I shake your hand? Like, it was. That was the coolest thing ever to me.

[Shane Wexler]

My dad went to Lower Marion.

[Matt McCusker]

Yeah. Yeah.

[Devin Costa]

Oh, snap.

[Matt McCusker]

That's crazy.

[Devin Costa]

Yeah.

[Shane Wexler]

Pretty sick.

[Matt McCusker]

I mean.

[Devin Costa]

Well, guys, I think we did it. We're at an hour and I have to go now pick up my kid.

[Matt McCusker]

Okay.

[Devin Costa]

And we're gonna have a date.

[Matt McCusker]

Sick.

[Devin Costa]

Little date.

[Matt McCusker]

Little date.

[Shane Wexler]

What are you gonna do?

[Devin Costa]

So I have two kids and the one's going to gymnastics. So every now and again when one of them's busy, I get to do like one on one. What are we gonna do? We are going to. Cool. Well, it's funny. She already. She picked out her outfit she wants to wear, so she's gonna wear. There's like an outfit she got.

[Shane Wexler]

This is the cutest thing I've ever heard.

[Matt McCusker]

It's very sweet.

[Devin Costa]

Yeah. And then we got to go to the Thinkory, which is like a kids museum, and just let her play in there and probably go out to like,

[Matt McCusker]

like early dinner and take her to the mothership.

[Shane Wexler]

Top it up at Mitzi's.

[Devin Costa]

So we're gonna go. I gotta go pick her up at 2:30. What time is right now? Oh, perfect. 2:30. So sweet.

[Matt McCusker]

That's great.

[Shane Wexler]

Hell yeah, man.

[Devin Costa]

Sorry, I don't know why I said no.

[Matt McCusker]

I should have kids.

[Devin Costa]

Kids, you know? Yeah. I'm sorry. Just sounds cute.

[Shane Wexler]

What's your problem?

[Matt McCusker]

No, I know you're happier than me. It's fine.

[Devin Costa]

Thank you, guys. Oh, do you have anything you guys want to.

[Matt McCusker]

Yeah, hate.

[Devin Costa]

Watch podcast.

[Shane Wexler]

Hey, Watch podcast.

[Matt McCusker]

We're both on that. And Lemon Party. We were banned. There's a. There's a much more powerful Jeff out there than Epstein, I believe. Check out Lemon Party. It's fine. It was just. Somebody kept reporting us or something.

[Devin Costa]

Are you guys going to get it back on YouTube or.

[Matt McCusker]

You. You hit up people, no one gives you a response. We got some emails from, like, our ad people. No one responded to us.

[Devin Costa]

Okay.

[Matt McCusker]

I don't know, but we'll figure it out. It's fine, you know.

[Shane Wexler]

Yeah. Hell yeah. Hey, watch podcasts.

[Matt McCusker]

Yeah. See you guys.

[Sean Gardini]

Bye.

[Devin Costa]

Watch new episodes of Matt and Shane's Secret podcast on Spotify.

[Sean Gardini]

Do it.

[Devin Costa]

Monster Energy. Everybody knows White Monster Zero Ultra, that's the og it kicked off this whole zero sugar energy drink thing. But Ultra is a whole lineup now. You've got Strawberry Dreams, Blue Hawaiian Sunrise, and Vice Guava. And they all bring the Monster Energy punch. So if you've been living in the white can, branch out. Ultra's got a flavor for every vibe, and every single one is Zero Sugar. Tap the banner to learn more. Close your eyes. Exhale.

[Matt McCusker]

Feel your body relax, and let go

[Devin Costa]

of whatever you're carrying to today.

[Matt McCusker]

Well, I'm letting go of the worry

[Devin Costa]

that I wouldn't get my new contacts

[Matt McCusker]

in time for this class. I got them delivered free from 1-800-contacts. Oh, my gosh. They're so fast.

[Shane Wexler]

And breathe. Oh, sorry.

[Devin Costa]

I almost couldn't breathe when I saw the discount they gave me on my first order.

[Matt McCusker]

Oh, sorry.

[Devin Costa]

Namaste.

[Shane Wexler]

Visit 1-800-contacts.com today to save on your first order.

[Matt McCusker]

1-800-contacts.