Ep 603 - GEY DOT COM (feat. Tim Butterly & Mike Rainey)

Summary

Matt and Shane’s Secret Podcast

Ep 603 – GEY DOT COM (feat. Tim Butterly & Mike Rainey)

March 12, 2026

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Episode Overview

In this riotous episode, Matt McCusker and Shane Gillis are joined by comedians Tim Butterly and Mike Rainey for a wide-ranging, fast-paced hang full of typical Secret Pod riffs. The gang hilariously dissects topics ranging from male rituals, Vegas grotesquerie, wigger longevity, vintage porn experiences, the pipeline of internet-induced weirdness, and the taxonomy of gay subcultures. Balancing absurdity with moments of genuine insight into male psyche and culture, the group covers everything from nostalgia for primitive internet days to the intricacies of dad shaming over vaping versus gooning. The tone is raw, irreverent, and relentlessly funny.

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Key Discussion Points & Insights

1. Male Gestures and Vegas Fantasies

• Opening Bit (00:00–04:54): The team opens on the topic of male hand gestures—particularly the universal "nod and point"—and the micro-connections between men in public. (“Pretty much ended the male loneliness epidemic.” – Matt, 00:30)
• "Leaving Las Vegas" male fantasies (02:20–04:32): Matt describes the escapist fantasy of living as a Vegas dirtbag, growing “tusks,” and either getting jacked or living in debauchery.
  • Tim: "These are two different prison philosophies." (04:29)
  • Matt: “I’d bring strippers health food. The only people getting an acai bowl in Las Vegas? Just me and Dominican prostitutes.” (04:42)

2. Vaping, Dad Judgment & Taboo Rituals

• Vape/Dad Talk (05:52–07:50): Discussion of the "unfairness" of hating on dads vaping (“Daddy sucking a fake hog again”—Matt, 06:20).
  • Tim: “I want a synthetic cigar. It’s fine. I don’t need the plants.” (06:36)
• Debate on what rituals are accepted for dads—cigars, vapes, or secret behaviors.

3. Wiggers, Firesticks, & Cultural Oddities

• Wigger Longevity (07:10–09:40): Absurdly deep-diving into the lifecycle, habits, and fashion of "old wiggers.” (“Life expectancy on them is like…How old’s Everlast? He might be the eldest." – Matt, 07:29)
  • Tim: “They never die when you want them to.” (07:19)
• House of Pain/Limp Bizkit Lore (08:31–09:03): Shock and awe over DJ Lethal moving from House of Pain to Limp Bizkit.
• Firestick Philosophy (11:01–12:45): Hacked streaming stick as an emblem of the wigger home and elaborate digital piracy.

4. Old TV Networks & Money Laundering

• Network TV is Dead (14:54–16:13): The group theorizes network TV survives only through boomer inertia and possibly money laundering, as every waiting room constantly runs Fox/CBS out of habit. “I think it’s money laundering at this point.” – Tim (15:05)

5. Romance Novels, Early Internet, and Gendered Erotica

• Modern Genre Trends (16:13–17:59): The proliferation of gay hockey books and their appeal to women. “It’s either gay hockey or modern cowboy shows." – Matt (16:32)
• Literary erotica & glory hole redesigns for women.
  • Sean: “You’d have to redesign the Glory Hole for women.” (17:50)
• Erotic Lit & Choose-Your-Own Adventure Porn (19:04–19:55): Deep dive into Literotica, create-your-own-sex-story apps, and the democratization of smut.

6. Online Corruption Pipeline: Gay.com & Men Chat

• Soft White Underbelly & Childhood Warping (20:18–26:41): The gang unpacks a Soft White Underbelly episode about a kid led down a path by gay.com and Men Chat.
  • "Gay dot com. I didn't even know." – Matt (21:00)
  • “It's like a Ghostbuster trap. It'll suck you right in, man.” – Sean (21:00)
• Discussion of what truly "ruins" a child: boredom, the internet, or deeper family wounds.

7. Pre-internet Pornography & Rites of Passage

• First Porn Experiences (27:00–30:02): Mike recounts his aunt letting him pick a softcore porn from the Playboy catalog as a 12-year-old.
  • Matt: “She’s a criminal.” (27:35)
• Group memories of swapping tapes as neighborhood currency: “Like the Taliban with rockets.” (Matt, 29:33)
• Watching Porn with Friends (29:03–30:46): The male ritual of communal adolescent horniness.

8. Current-day Concerns: Roblox & Digital Grooming

• Parenting & Online Threats (31:10–32:55): Tim raises the specter of Roblox as a new pipeline for child exploitation, noting lack of adequate moderation.
  • “Roblox is a big issue.” – Matt (31:17)

9. Paranoia & Lonesome Dove Philosophy

• Dad Paranoia (35:30–37:44): Matt confesses to dark, late-night fantasy about hunting pedophiles as a way of stress relief—a screensaver for the anxious parent mind.
  • Tim: “Great Roku City in the background of your mind.” (35:49)
• Cowboy Hierarchies (38:05–41:12): Lonesome Dove and cowboy vs. renegade vs. farmer status, and why being weapons-trained is high status in the West.

10. Cowboys, Brokeback, and Sexual Tension on the Range

• Who Wrote Brokeback Mountain? (39:30–40:12): Larry McMurtry, author of Lonesome Dove, also co-wrote Brokeback; group riffs on cowboy intimacy on the open prairie.
  • “You’re on the plains, man…There’s not a tree in sight. It’s just grass as far as you can.” – Matt (40:20)
  • Tim: “Trusting each other with your lives.” (40:31)

11. Boner Science & Ageing Bodies

• Athletics as Boner Therapy (42:08–44:00): Matt’s record-breaking cardiovascular boner, aided by beetroot and sprints; melancholy for youthful 110% boners.
  • “I always took a hundred percent, 110 boner for granted.” – Matt (42:08)
  • “As soon as you mention it, it’s gone.” – Sean (43:23)

12. The New Flag, Anthems & Pride Debacles

• Pride Flag Satire (45:58–47:27): Satirizing the ever-growing LGBTQ flag and the logic behind adding stripes for Black and brown people. “They made you guys all gay…leave them the hell out of this.” – Matt (46:31)
• National Anthem for the Gays (48:01–49:04): Group debates what should be the “Gay National Anthem” (Village People is a front-runner).

13. Airport Hotel Degeneracy & Modern Day Gooning

• Goon Cave Confessions (49:41–51:46): Sean details going “ballistic” in his hotel room next to an airport, “four or five times a day.” (50:00)
• Debate: Daddy Gooning vs. Daddy Vaping (51:20–52:34): Arguments over which is more shameful; consensus that both are fine as long as it’s secret (vaping at the gazebo being ideal).

14. Gay Subcultural Taxonomy (Twinks, Bears, Pigs, Etc.)

• What Type of Gay Are You? (58:00–59:55): Hilarious, earnest exploration of twinks, twunks, bears, pigs (“Clean up duty…pigs are just the horniest gay guys possible.” – Matt, 59:31), and what each would be classified as.

15. The Ass Spectrum

• Male Ass Typology (60:28–61:58): Who’s “caked up” versus “dog ass” versus “teacher ass” and the sad truth that most men have no ass at all.

16. Epilogue: Gay Retreats & Vulnerability in the Woods

• Naked Male Retreats (62:19–63:31): Outing the existence of all-male, under-33 naked getaways and riffing on “naked and afraid” in the woods.

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Quotes & Memorable Moments

• “It might reign supreme.” – Matt, on the universal male hand gesture (00:47)
• “You never see Chalamet doing that to anybody.” – Sean (00:45)
• “Everlast Walk so my brothers could limp.” – Tim (08:09)
• “Hack Fire Stick is like a wigger Rubik’s Cube.” – Sean (11:11)
• “You go to one bad website and now you want the construction workers to rape you.” – Tim (26:03)
• “My default boner is at like 80. You think back to all the boners you took for granted.” – Sean (43:38)
• “If you build a gazebo with your bare hands...no one can say s*** to you.” – Matt (52:10)
• “A pig is just like—the horniest gay guy possible. Clean up duty.” – Matt (59:31)
• “There’s not much variation for guys’ asses. You either have a fat ass, or just no ass. Really.” – Matt (61:43)

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Important Timestamps

• 00:00 – Male Loneliness & Gestures
• 04:30 – Life Fantasies in Shitty Vegas Motels
• 07:10 – Wigger Lifespans / Everlast
• 11:01 – Hacked Fire Stick Culture
• 14:54 – Broadcast TV is Dead / Boomer Brain
• 16:32 – Modern Westerns & Gay Hockey Novels
• 19:04 – Literotica & Choose-Your-Own-Erotica
• 20:18–26:41 – The Soft White Underbelly / Gay.com Origin Story
• 27:00 – Aunt Buys Playboy Video / Porn Sharing Rituals
• 31:10 – Roblox Predators
• 35:30 – Nightly Vigilante Fantasies & Lonesome Dove
• 39:30 – Lonesome Dove vs. Brokeback Mountain
• 42:08 – Sprinting for Boners
• 45:58 – The Pride Flag and New Stripes
• 48:01 – Choosing a Gay National Anthem
• 49:41 – Hotel Room Gooning & Airport Motels
• 51:20 – Daddy Gooning vs. Daddy Vaping
• 58:00 – “What Type of Gay Are You?” Taxonomy
• 60:28 – Male Ass Discourse
• 62:19 – All-Male Naked Retreats

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Final Thoughts

This episode offers peak Secret Podcast energy—part pure comedy clinic, part anthropological study of American trash and masculinity. No sacred cows are left unmocked. It flows naturally, builds running gags on weird internet and gender subcultures, and ends on a note about the surprisingly narrow ass spectrum among men. For longtime fans, it’s a microcosm of everything that makes Matt & Shane’s Secret Podcast the funniest out there: willingness to go gross, go deep, and return, perennially, to the ritual bonds between dudes.

Episode MVPs:

• Matt’s philosophical “dirtbag Vegas” yearnings
• Tim’s “Everlast walked so my brothers could limp”
• Sean’s devotion to niche erotica
• Rainey’s incriminating VCR memories

Suggested Title:
“GEY DOT COM” – The Construction of Internet Degeneracy and the Modern Male Ritual

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Listen to new episodes of Matt & Shane’s Secret Podcast on Spotify and wherever you get your podcasts.

Transcript

[Wes]

Wow.

[Matt]

Wow, Wes, welcome to the podcast. Yeah, thank you. Sean, did you get that? I had a nice moment. I had old Nate with me this weekend and we were in. It was either Pittsburgh or Cleveland, but, like, when you come out at the little theater, there's. You can see the people on the sides are already seated. So I always scope the stage and people see you. And this one guy from the balcony went, I got to give him from backstage. Which I was like, that's nice. Nice moment of connection. Pretty much ended the male loneliness epidemic. Two guys going, two 40 year old men.

[Sean]

You never see Chalamet doing that to anybody.

[Matt]

Chalamet could probably talks one of these. I mean, it's such. It might be. If I have to go through every hand gesture you can possibly do to somebody, this might reign supreme.

[Sean]

You think that's a threat or just like an acknowledgment?

[Matt]

It's just like one party, bro to another. I mean, it could be a threat. If you see a guy with his girlfriend, you go. Then it'd be like, bro, I'm on a date. What the, man? It's a creepy. I don't know what the guy was doing.

[Tim]

He's out of hand.

[Matt]

As soon as your. As soon as your girlfriend or wife turns around, you go back and go, Well, God damn it, dude. Mike. Granny Tim, bodily. Thank you, guys.

[Sean]

Good to be back, man. I love talking gestures with you.

[Matt]

Gestures is amazing. I. I called. I called Rainey recently just to talk shop because I'm gonna come do dad meat, and I think two weeks, when I get back from spring break, spring break forever. I'm going to go visit family. And. And no, I was talking to Rainey and I was telling Rainey, I was telling the old nicotine, that's not bad.

[Tim]

That's too much.

[Matt]

They flip you. Yeah, it takes a while. Whatever, like, stuff. No, I'm telling you, whatever. Those, like little Villi or whatever in your esophagus all have to die. So you can do nicotine.

[Tim]

I can't hang, man.

[Matt]

They're rough. You might get kind of horny too.

[Tim]

My heart's pounding right now, dude.

[Matt]

I gave one to my brother at a wedding. He goes, dude, I got like bricked up.

[Tim]

Okay.

[Matt]

I feel like anything like that.

[Tim]

And I'm watching Con Lingus, so I'm good.

[Matt]

True.

[Tim]

This is a true test.

[Matt]

So we. I was talking to Rainey. I don't even know how we got on the subject. I. I probably brought it up, honestly, but I was talking about Tim, about just like going To Vegas. We're talking. How do we get on the subject

[Sean]

about jacking in hotel rooms?

[Matt]

Probably was jacking in hotel rooms. That's probably how we got onto this. But I was on one, I was telling him, like, dude, like every last time I was in Vegas, it happens to me every time I'm in Vegas. I don't like Vegas. I don't want to be there. You know, I just. I don't like it. I'm sorry. I don't like the city. But there is also a part of me, and this is probably why I don't want to be there. Is like whenever I'm going to the airport, I'll pass those like real seedy like shitty motels next to like a porn shop in a strip club. And I'm like, just let me be style. Let give me three months, dude. Of just like cargo shorts, white feeder flip flops to just live in like a shitty motel in Vegas and grow tusks. Come back.

[Tim]

Yeah.

[Sean]

Every guy should have the leaving on Las Vegas treatment.

[Matt]

At least for like a.

[Sean]

Like a summer camp.

[Matt]

I don't know. I pass him. And I gotta be honest, there's a part of me I would never do. It was part of me being like,

[Tim]

you thought they just park it in there for a few months.

[Matt]

Park it in there long term. Yeah, pig. And what I was telling Rainey because Rainey was like, oh yeah. Like, oh, you're. You're gonna throw up.

[Sean]

Throw open the plant, dude.

[Matt]

It'll get you take. Drink some durn water. Drink some dur water. What the hell? You're getting the hiccups. You're. That's step two to throw it up. I told you. Can't do oral nicotine. It's crazy.

[Tim]

How do you live like this?

[Matt]

You gotta get used to it, man. You gotta. You gotta. You know, you gotta slowly put. You know, slowly put the. You want me to pat your back? The D. And I was trying to think of a thing, almost called it something else. Like that wouldn't actually sound real. Sound good. I was gonna shorten nicotine and call it. You shortened nicotine deed. I was like, that might come off wrong on the podcast. The.

[Tim]

Yeah, that'd be nice. Waking up every day in the shitty motel.

[Matt]

Shitty motel porn shop. And that's what's on Rainy. Because I think we're. Our philosophy is the version being a total pig in a shitty motel in Las Vegas. He was like, yeah, just like completely pig out. I was like, no, I would get in the best shape of my Life in there.

[Tim]

Like prison.

[Matt]

I'll get in.

[Tim]

These are two different prison philosophy.

[Matt]

Exactly, exactly. You might go the way of indulgence in terms of comfort. Yeah. I would train harder than ever and be like a jacked sicko pervert. Bringing lunch to strippers at like 11:30. I'd bring them healthy stuff. I'd bring the strippers, like, health. Yeah, yeah. Like, that's every time I'm in Vegas. I order healthy meals. I'm like, this is just me and prostitutes and strippers eating this food. The only people getting an acai bowl in Las Vegas. Just me and Dominican prostitutes.

[Sean]

Yeah. Acai is like hooker.

[Matt]

Yeah.

[Tim]

This is a fun exercise to do in Vegas is just stop randomly in your travels in the street and then see how quickly you can get to a vegetable. And it's.

[Sean]

It's like perform a vegetable. Like no arms.

[Matt]

Yeah, yeah.

[Tim]

See how long it takes for you to. To find a guy with a. A wheelchair that you steer with a straw.

[Matt]

That's.

[Tim]

How soon can you eat a vegetable? And it's taken me a very long find.

[Matt]

Monster Energy. Everybody knows White Monster Zero Ultra, that's the OG it kicked off this whole zero sugar energy drink thing. But Ultra is a whole lineup now. You've got Strawberry Dreams, Blue Hawaiian Sunrise, and Vice Guava. And they all bring the Monster energy punch.

[Sean]

So if you've been living in the

[Matt]

white can, branch out. Ultra's got a flavor for every vibe, and every single one is Zero Sugar Tap the banner. To learn more, I should provide context. We were. Tim, you gave up the vape. You gave up the V. Which isn't fair. Which you don't. You don't think it's fair. I think it's totally fair. Why you can't vape and be a daddy. I think you can't Daddy become a cigar guy.

[Sean]

Well, full time daddy.

[Matt]

You no.

[Tim]

Why?

[Matt]

Daddy's sucking a fake hog again.

[Tim]

There goes daddy and his friends. Look at them out there.

[Matt]

That's just like the bath plug. It keeps the real ones out. That's the passing, bro. That's so you don't suck your thumb.

[Tim]

I want a synthetic cigar. It's fine. I don't need the plants.

[Matt]

No, the cigar. You need a cigar. You need your paws to be sitting there. Yeah.

[Tim]

You don't.

[Sean]

You don't go on Instagram and post la familia. No,

[Matt]

I'm not gonna post.

[Tim]

Like, you know how they. Like, they wear suits to a funeral and they go, I clean up nice.

[Matt]

You know, funeral selfies.

[Sean]

Your kids, dude.

[Tim]

Yeah.

[Matt]

You just described my wigger brothers. Come on, man. Too is always like, yeah, you can have. You couldn't even recognize the person. They somehow get such a far suit. Now, see the haircut? You're like, I think that is. I think that is that guy. I know. Yeah.

[Tim]

The chin strap gets shaved down to almost, like, pencil thin. Like, it's just an outline of their face.

[Sean]

Is your wigger brother still alive?

[Tim]

I think so. I'd have to check, but probably, yeah. They never die. They never die when you want them.

[Sean]

They are living longer like they are. I think it's like global warming that's doing it.

[Matt]

Yeah. Life expectancy on them is like.

[Tim]

Maybe.

[Matt]

How old's Everlast is? He might be the eldest.

[Sean]

I would say 55 years old.

[Matt]

55 seems kind of aged for them. Okay.

[Sean]

Yeah.

[Matt]

Yeah.

[Tim]

Which In. In wigger years.

[Matt]

That's.

[Tim]

I mean, that's geriatric.

[Matt]

That's like Moses. That's when they say, like, Moses was 900 years old. Yeah.

[Sean]

You're like the. The Indian guy with, like, the curled fingernails.

[Tim]

Yeah.

[Matt]

I feel like once you go. I mean, Everlast hat brim gets longer and longer until it curls in on itself. Everlast paved the way with the gray hair, though. Yeah. The first to see gray.

[Sean]

Day one.

[Matt]

And it helps, too.

[Sean]

He named himself Everlast.

[Matt]

He walked out of my brother. What'd you say?

[Tim]

I said, oh, I'm not gonna repeat it. But I said Everlast Walk so my brothers could limp. They're both faking disability for work right now. It's kind of an inside thing.

[Matt]

But, I mean, that's also. You gotta.

[Tim]

Yeah.

[Sean]

Do you think he intentionally left the House of Pain guys behind?

[Matt]

Or whoever lasts?

[Sean]

Wasn't he in House of Pain?

[Matt]

Yeah, he was announced.

[Sean]

Yeah.

[Tim]

How many guys are in House of Pain?

[Sean]

I think three.

[Matt]

What happened to those guys?

[Sean]

I don't know. I think maybe the DJ is the Limp Bizkit guy. I might have my wiggers mixed up.

[Matt]

Hold up. What? You're telling me the DJ from House of Pain joined Limp Bizkit?

[Sean]

Is that DJ lethal? Hold on.

[Tim]

Can I just 50.

[Matt]

50 grand a rail real quick? I can't. I gotta process this information. Can I grind a curve with my Rollerblades real quick so I can just process this? I didn't know that.

[Sean]

Yeah.

[Matt]

What?

[Sean]

Yeah, man. And there was. I think there was one other guy who did.

[Matt]

Pack it up. Pack it in. Was that Everlast Classic. Yes. Okay. That part was sick.

[Tim]

That was House of Pain.

[Matt]

Yeah.

[Sean]

Danny Boy.

[Matt]

Danny boy. Where the hell is he at? Dead, probably.

[Sean]

Yeah, he sounds like he got killed on a motorcycle.

[Matt]

Is he alive? Where is Danny Boy? Boston. Probably the Boston streets or maybe la. Either way, we don't have to research this. That. Either way, whatever. That blew my. That blew my mind. I had no idea. Yeah.

[Tim]

Damn.

[Matt]

So that was a huge snag for lb. Like, how did that even come about?

[Sean]

I don't know, man. It's like I gave up trying to figure out wiggers because it's. Everything about them makes less and less sense. Like, you think you have them figured out as a kid. You're like, okay, he's gonna die at 19 in a dirt bike accident. He's going to dive a pullover. Dose at 26. But now you see them, like, old enough is to where it's hard for them to get out of a couch. And you're just like, I give up. Trying to figure this out.

[Matt]

Yeah.

[Tim]

That is prime their legs get really skinny legs almost atrophy. And they're wearing the ball shorts. So it's just like these little, skinny little.

[Matt]

You never catch them lifting legs.

[Tim]

These purple sausages.

[Matt]

They drop the per cab at the lift legs because they're sponsored crazy.

[Tim]

And then they get like the big belly. And then, oh, their glasses prescription ends up like, mom, fine old wiggers get really, like, they get Buzz Lightyear eye prescriptions and they. So now they just got these googly eyes.

[Matt]

And like, it's funny, their eyes are magnified, but their pupils are so constricted from perks. They probably look like the exact same size.

[Sean]

Yeah. Any chance you can give me a ride to infinity?

[Matt]

You don't see them anymore, man. I don't. I don't like. Or have they gone just mainstream? I'm thinking like, j, stay inside.

[Tim]

They don't get out as much after they stop, like, going out, you know, searching for honey dips, obviously.

[Matt]

Yeah.

[Sean]

They're both side trees.

[Matt]

You might. We might have to start an outreach program called Peels on Wheels. Appeals on wheels. You strapped them Perks. Peels on Wheels, they get really into,

[Tim]

like, complicated, like, like hacked fire stick setups too.

[Matt]

They had the nastiest fire stick setups

[Tim]

when you go over to their duplex apartment.

[Sean]

Dude, hack fire stick is like a wigger Rubik's Cub. Yeah.

[Matt]

Is it true that there's a signal for the fire stick that gets, like, sent out and, like, erases a fire? Like, if you buy one today, in like a month from now, something that gets sent through the network, that scrambles your fire.

[Sean]

The signal is a wigger screaming to his girlfriend.

[Matt]

You know, I got demons, Crystal. Because I've heard that before, that the fire sticks. Like, they only last. They only last so long.

[Tim]

I. I've. I've never dabbled, dude. I've. I've been gainfully employed most of my life.

[Sean]

Damn. They get doused.

[Matt]

They get doused. I think they get. I think they get extinguished.

[Tim]

Came to get doused.

[Matt]

I had an FS in my house in Philly for a little bit. Yeah, dude. I. Another thing, too, is, like, hacked or straight. It was apparently, like, anything on it. So it was. It was like. It was a hacked stick, and it was just a pain in the ass to navigate.

[Tim]

Oh, they love doing it. They love. They love going through 14 menus. There's like a bad UFC street.

[Matt]

Like, we would go to watch a movie, we'd be like, fuck, yeah. We got this movie. It was be in French and like, fuck, yeah. You go back and the next one is like, cam producers cut. There's like every shot just on, like, that tiled screen. It was. Yeah, that was. I was like, dude, I remember that. You know, my wife was always loving to save money, so that was one. I had to be like, dude, can we. Can I just get hbo, please? This is. This is getting ridiculous.

[Sean]

Did you give it, like a burial at sea or anything?

[Matt]

No, I. I wanted out. I want to get rid of this thing. She. It was. She was, like, so stoked on it, and I was like, bro, I'll get us HBO's $30 a month. What the are we doing? This wasn't that long ago. It's just like when we lived in Philly, like, right before we moved.

[Tim]

Principle of the thing, dude. She hates all these mergers and how all information and media is being funneled through, you know, a very slim hole. I am getting horny.

[Matt]

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[Tim]

Yeah, the Duke.

[Matt]

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[Tim]

through Grounded for life.

[Matt]

How long was that?

[Tim]

Probably 30 years ago.

[Matt]

Yeah, it's insane. They still just like, like put the bread out.

[Tim]

I think it's money laundering at this point.

[Matt]

You think so?

[Tim]

Yeah, I think they generate ad revenue because they're. All the channels are being played in like every waiting room. Everywhere has like five TVs now. And that's where all of your ratings are getting. I mean, I can't imagine that.

[Matt]

No, that makes sense because that's my, my theory is that the execs are also just aged boomers because it's agent boomers have the Comcast still. Although I think my parents have finally taken off the Comcast. They cut the cord finally. And I could be wrong. They still might have like, dude, their bill was like 470amonth for cable and Internet. And I was like, what the are you guys doing? But I think the execs have the same brain where they're just like, we got it this time. We double down. They're probably just paying like Jake Gyllenhaal $900 million. It's just cowboy shows. It's modern cowboy shows. Every network has to have a modern cowboy show.

[Sean]

Yeah.

[Tim]

You watch Landman? Are you a landman?

[Matt]

I haven't seen it, dude. I saw a little bit of Yellowstone. Is it good?

[Tim]

No. Billy Bob Thornton being kind of pissed off.

[Sean]

Taylor Sheridan rules, though.

[Tim]

Is that a guy or a lady?

[Sean]

He's the guy who created it.

[Tim]

Oh, okay.

[Sean]

Yeah, he created Mystic River, I think. No, not Mystic River. White something.

[Matt]

Dude, I was talking to someone recently. You're trying to tell me westerns are dead? I'm like, no, they're not. They're the biggest genre. Yeah. It's the modern western. It's Yellowstone, King of Tulsa, and Landman. Now they're all going for the. It's either gay hockey or now modern western. That's where we're at right now. Yeah, One or the other.

[Sean]

Dude, gay hockey is, like, ruining my sheets. Like, my wife is heavy in the gay hockey. Right. Yeah.

[Matt]

Have you seen the show?

[Sean]

No, I just know it's. It's books.

[Tim]

He goes, what show?

[Matt]

There's a show called Heated Rivalry.

[Sean]

Oh, yeah, that. That. Is that a Netflix thing?

[Matt]

Yeah, I think so.

[Sean]

Dude, the books are. They've been heavy for a while, and, like, I remember going to the bookstore and just seeing like. Like, dude, what the is two guys kissing in the penalty box for? And then it was just like, oh. You find out, like, there's this whole sub genre of gay hockey guys now. Chicks are getting.

[Matt]

Here's my squishy for here's my question. And again, I feel like girls are significantly lagging guys in this regard, where they're just getting into, like, dirty books. Like, I feel like if you were. If you went to a porn shop,

[Tim]

that was the first thing we did with Movable type.

[Sean]

Yeah. And they.

[Tim]

They got into it after Kindles 2026.

[Matt]

Yeah.

[Sean]

You think there's old sluts leaving, like, bags full of gay hockey erotica in the woods now?

[Matt]

Well, it's also like, if you went to a porn shop back in the 90s and you were trying to buy porn, there'd be, like, guys in the aisles trying to blow you.

[Sean]

Yeah.

[Matt]

So I wonder if you can catch chicks in the Barnes and Nobles. Like, you pop out a book and there's a lady on the other aisle, stick your finger through, like, hit the Starbucks Cafe. Yeah. Cause I don't think girls are, like, hanging around CD bookstores.

[Tim]

You'd have to redesign the Glory Hole, by the way, for women.

[Matt]

Yeah. What would you. I mean, you would need some sort of vacuum. What would you do?

[Sean]

It would have to be like, no,

[Tim]

what it's perfect cutaway right now. What would that look like?

[Matt]

Yeah, I think you're right. It would just be a toilet. But there's just a face under the toilet. And you.

[Sean]

The lady would sit down like she's kissing like the. The Blarney Stone.

[Matt]

Yeah. You'd have to have like a mummy tomb that you laid in. Now we're figuring out for them. Let them figure it out for themselves.

[Sean]

Queen slut in common.

[Matt]

But yeah, the erotic lit is. Is crazy. What? Erotically? Yeah, me too.

[Sean]

It's tough like when you. When you could tell like, like I'll go on Literatica sometimes and like I'll pick out like, like a highly rated story and just think to myself, dude, how are. Who's giving these.

[Tim]

Wait, what's Literatica? A website or like a place.

[Matt]

It's a website where you can like

[Sean]

pick all these different sub genres and they're all like regular people submitted and it's like you could pick it by author or by sub genre.

[Matt]

Some have audio, I've heard, so that's pretty cool.

[Tim]

Well, you're listening to user made audio erotica e books.

[Matt]

I have.

[Nate]

Sure.

[Matt]

Or some of. Some of them are just audio. It's not even a story. There are. So it's pretty much. Pretty much podcast. I'm just a lady going, oh, this is the podcast. Yeah, the erotic lid. I talked about this for a while. I. I don't mind a racy story myself. I. I could get into erotic literature. I don't mind. And it's. It feels cleaner too.

[Tim]

It's refined.

[Matt]

It is refined. You know, have all those images bouncing in your head. You just read the story, get charged

[Sean]

up and there's ones where you could like, you could. It's like a Mad Libs book. Like you can create your own story.

[Matt]

No, they have a. Choose your own adventure.

[Sean]

Yeah, it's not on Literatica, but how the.

[Matt]

Did I miss this?

[Sean]

Yeah, five bucks a month. I'll get you anything you want, man.

[Matt]

Hold up, slave. Choose your own adventures.

[Sean]

Oh, dude, I'm putting all my.

[Matt]

Wait, are you just clicking that ad on porn? That's like make your own.

[Tim]

Stop jacking off alone.

[Matt]

I'm not. Who says I am?

[Tim]

There's horny sluts and wait, that's my town.

[Matt]

Well, that is funny. Imagine if that's like a legit thing and there's a door to door guy. Be like, excuse me, ma', am, are you a horny

[Tim]

slut census?

[Matt]

Dude, I watched you guys watch Soft white underbelly. Yeah, I love that channel. I. They just put up one recently about a younger guy who. The title's just like. It's something like, I had the Internet at a young age. Like, I had too much Internet at a young age. And I was listening to it earlier today, and, you know, he's like, my dad was gone and he was working all the time, and one of my friends, I guess it started he went on to gay.com and I was like, he got turned out on gay.com and he just never recovered. Dude, gay.com. i didn't even know. Yeah, I'll be honest. I'm not trying to flex. Like, I'm the straightest guy in the world. Gay.com never even thought brought up gay dot.

[Sean]

It's like a ghostbuster trap. The little suck you right in, man.

[Matt]

Dude was killing me. And he's just like, yeah, they. I think he brought it up almost as like a Lemon Party type joke. And the kid was like, yo, what the is up with this? He was young, and then he started doing this. How old? Ah, like early teens. Probably like 14.

[Tim]

It's not that young.

[Sean]

That's like 30 years. True, true.

[Matt]

You're right. I. Again, I. I don't want to. I, Like, I'm mixing up the ages. He might. Maybe he was 12 or 11 during gay dot com. Yeah. Because he does jump around a lot. You know, it's hard to put a. A real. Try to put a finger on it.

[Tim]

Sounds like he probably had a more serious problem. He's trying to pin it on gay.com when he was 13 years old. Yeah.

[Matt]

I mean, again, we've all seen Lemon Party, but I. I think he was just like, well, you know what him up. Gay.com led him to Men Chat. Men Chat is where guys get together to chat. Mostly gay guys asking young boys for videos of them jerking off. So he started supplying the bros with the. With the goods, or I should say the bads. Start supplying the bros with the very bad.

[Tim]

He became a creator at a young age.

[Matt]

Became a creator. He took control of his own content. But then the guy was like, oh, so he's like, did this for money? He was like, yeah, well, I didn't really have, like, a bank account, so, like, I just did it. He was just love with the game at first. Just kind of like, I guess, thriving off the buzz. And, yeah, I didn't watch the whole thing, but I was like, dude, getting sucked into gay.com in the. I mean, the gay.com men chat pipeline. But the Thing is, he live.

[Tim]

I, I, I. All right, I will go back and watch this entire thing. I highly doubt the headline should be, I got the Internet at a young age. There's no way that's what went wrong.

[Matt]

Yeah, I don't know, because everything else is pretty.

[Tim]

Like, let's go back to a younger age. And maybe there was something there, you know, maybe. Maybe there was some kind of serious disappointment or harm when you were much younger that.

[Matt]

See the guy, the guy's a good interviewer and he was asking about that, and it was like he was just a bored kid and his parents were too busy. But the, the, I thought, to me, this is, this was the thing that

[Tim]

really kind of took crazy to be that bored. I've. I'm a board, bro. So you ever hear JRPGs, dude, like, the rest of you guys were bored nerds. Did any of you ever think there's a chance, like, I'm so bored, I'm gonna, I'm gonna throw meat at the old guys?

[Matt]

Not once.

[Sean]

Yeah, I was so bored, I would wrestle my uncle. Nothing to do, man.

[Tim]

This guy's full of.

[Matt]

Dude wrestling, man, is the oldest trick in the book. But, yeah, it's it, you know, again, it was like I was. Well, I had questions as well. I had questions for sure. Like, dude, getting turned out by gay.com makes me laugh so hard. It is like, genuinely really funny. Yeah.

[Sean]

What did they have on the homepage, man?

[Matt]

I don't even want to look, dude.

[Tim]

I don't even want to imagine it, man.

[Matt]

Dude, I. I am worried I'll fall in face forward. But the problem was, here's the thing, man. The kids out doing his thing, obviously, and, but he would split time between living in Mexico and the States, and when he would go to Mexico, it was just couldn't do gay at all. So he'd have to detox from gay action in Mexico because I guess there wasn't a ton of gay action. It's probably really risky

[Tim]

until you get back to the land of the free

[Matt]

true land of the freaks. But yeah, he, yeah, he would go to Mexico and just have to completely just detox out because there wasn't gay action going on. I mean, I'm sure you can get it if you want in Mexico, but I think you have to be like, high society. Do gay action in Mexico. I'm just guessing I'm saving up to

[Tim]

be gay in Mexico. I'm saving my allowance.

[Matt]

You'd have to do, like, you'd have to get into like, highly acclaimed Avant garde theater. And then you could probably score some gay.

[Sean]

There's specific places like you got to go to. Taking it in the Cancun, Right, Tim?

[Matt]

He's straight. Facing him.

[Tim]

Something like that.

[Matt]

But yeah, that was. That was something. I was just kind of just enjoying Uncle Po. The opening. Uncle Poco. The one thing that. The way they started. I mean, let me just. The. The intro to it. God damn. Where's my phone? The intro. This is how fucking crazy. And again, I'm. You know. Look, we all have our demons. I'm not making fun of this poor guy, but the. The way they intro it, it's like, bro, come on, dude.

[Sean]

I remember having this recurring fantasy that

[Matt]

I would walk to the basketball court

[Sean]

at the park and the construction workers would. Would, you know, pull me into the

[Matt]

bushes and rape me.

[Sean]

And I would franticize that I was the guy getting dunked on, and his balls would get stuck on my head.

[Matt]

I shouldn't have played that. That's too mean.

[Nate]

How the heck did you pull that up so fast?

[Matt]

I was watching it.

[Sean]

Dude, it's just home screen, man.

[Matt]

Some of us are producers and podcasters. Sorry, sorry, sorry. That intro, though, was like, what the. So that. Can we will just.

[Tim]

Yeah, it's probably the Internet.

[Matt]

I think it was the Internet, guys. Gay dot com. Dude, beware all those youngsters out there. Look, live your life. But words.

[Tim]

You go to one bad website and now you want the construction workers to rape.

[Matt]

Well, he's. It was. It was like a worry. That's legit. Fear. And then walking. But you never walked past a construction site. Be like, wait, did he say it

[Tim]

was a fear or a fantasy?

[Sean]

I think he said fantasy.

[Matt]

It was.

[Tim]

He said fantasy, bro.

[Sean]

Yeah.

[Matt]

Okay, look, look. Okay, fair enough.

[Sean]

Wait. It was a basketball court by a construction site, is what he said.

[Matt]

I believe so.

[Sean]

Oh, my God.

[Tim]

Sounds like a. Choose your. I mean, pick your boys.

[Sean]

Yeah, that's how the N1 mixtape tour ended.

[Matt]

Anyway, I feel bad making fun of. I'm not making. Well, I'm making fun of the kid, but it's just funny. It's undeniably funny to get sucked into gay dot com.

[Sean]

It's so easy to get sucked at that age. You have no idea.

[Matt]

I. Student's insane. It must be. You could. I mean, world's your oyster.

[Sean]

Tapes hit me hard at that time. Vhs. Yeah, Tapes were hitting me hard. I didn't have Internet yet, so I had an aunt who bought me a. A softcore porn from the Playboy catalog. She bought me a movie called Chameleon

[Matt]

Another satisfied customer of k dot com.

[Sean]

Yeah. She let me pick one. One movie from the Playboy catalog, and I picked Chameleon with Tori Wells.

[Tim]

And how old were you? 12.

[Matt]

What was.

[Sean]

Were you Have.

[Matt]

Have you, like. I mean, how good of a boy are we talking? How good have you been, Dude?

[Sean]

I was.

[Matt]

Chart must have been off the. Dude, no.

[Sean]

No trouble. A little chubby. Never said a peep. I really kept to myself, and my aunt was just like. One day, she's like, pick something out of this catalog.

[Matt]

I look. Okay. How do you. What is your thoughts on that?

[Sean]

She's a criminal.

[Matt]

Okay, There you go.

[Sean]

But she also left me five GS when she died, so. Aunt Patsy, if you're listening. Listening. Thank you for the movie and thank you for the five G's.

[Matt]

She's a criminal.

[Tim]

She's.

[Sean]

Yeah, she's a. With a heart of gold.

[Matt]

Yeah. Because I have thoughts on being like, you know, again, you're talking old school. I'm an old school guy. Is that, like, the subtle hookup to be like, I'm gonna get this kid a softcore. But then again, it's like, oh, man, when you say it like that, you go, why, dude?

[Sean]

It's tough because, like, that's. That's summer that. I got it. Like, I was being occupied. Like, I had Sega Genesis, and I was playing PGA Tour 3.

[Matt]

So you have to do I. Yeah,

[Sean]

my summer was locked down already. But then she's like, pick something out of this catalog. And Chameleon looked enticing because Tori Wells was beautiful. And I was like, all right, I'll take this. And then, like, midway through the summer, the tape came, and the door had a lock on it, and it was one of those TV VCR combos. And I slid it in, and it was just like.

[Matt]

Yeah, that was.

[Sean]

It was like 1x, so there was no penetration, but I knew what was happening.

[Matt]

Can I get that? Yo, bro, I mean, I got to

[Tim]

give it to you.

[Matt]

Fantastic pick. Yeah. What year was this?

[Sean]

Probably 1993. Ish.

[Matt]

Yeah. That's wild. How did it come in the mail? Like, how did it.

[Sean]

Giant box came in the mail. Knew exactly what it was when it arrived at Aunt Patsy's.

[Matt]

Geez. Okay. Well, yeah, you have to watch it alone.

[Tim]

You don't have to watch it with her or anything.

[Sean]

No, I didn't have to watch it with her. Although a couple times, my cousin and I. My cousin Chris and I watch porn together.

[Matt]

That's you sharing the wealth, obviously.

[Sean]

I think so, too.

[Tim]

Yeah.

[Matt]

Cool guy. Watching porn together. That was. I saw a lot of people, a lot of folks doing that.

[Sean]

That he would just make a joke every now and again.

[Matt]

He would.

[Sean]

We would just kind of lighten the mood.

[Matt]

Now that was. That was a big thing. I met a lot of young bros were watching porns. Like, we would get. We had Spanish fly 14 through our neighborhood. And we just, like, it was just everyone had that.

[Sean]

Is there a system for it? Like, who got.

[Matt]

Who got it when older brothers dominated the goods. Yeah. And, you know, I was, I was

[Tim]

like, they gave you guys scraps.

[Matt]

That was like the guys in Mad Max. The tape had been like, worn thin. They were like, here you go. Yeah, we had the Spanish Fly for a while. We. And we. They would always get caught. We would always get busted. We were like the Taliban with rockets. Every time we got. God forbid we had one little rocket dude. We would get busted immediately. Somebody would get busted because it was. It was the tape, it was the vcr.

[Tim]

We're putting it into the getting program.

[Matt]

They cannot have.

[Tim]

We have to stop them now because

[Matt]

it was always that vcr, right? Is that Spanish? Like, yo, bro, you give me flashbacks. Oh, wow, that's a great one. That was. Yeah, but you had to, like, there was the vcr. So, like, if you saw the headlights hitting that front window, you'd be like, hit it. Like,

[Sean]

Yeah, every VCR sounded like Nick. No getting out of bed.

[Matt]

Then your parents would come home. You just be sitting there, like four people on a couch, no TV on, just like sweating. Oh, hey guys. How was her? Yeah, it was. Man, that I. Yeah, that was so nerve wracking.

[Sean]

Yeah, I remember we didn't. We didn't have porno, but do you remember a PBS series called Nova? Well, they did, they did one which was a lady giving birth. And like, it was full on shot, baby crowning. And like, we were all just sitting there like this, like the Situation Room when they got bin Laden.

[Matt]

So what's the policy now in terms of like, Internet porn? You have to ever give your kids to talk or you're just kind of

[Tim]

like, no, someone on Roblox is going to do it for you.

[Matt]

You think so?

[Tim]

I think that's a huge issue right now.

[Matt]

Roblox is a big issue. I watched another software underbelly about that.

[Tim]

I was molested on Roblox or something.

[Matt]

No, it was, it was like. It was like, this is a. This is a huge issue. It's a giant issue. It was, it was. Was tied to someone talking about, like, Epstein. It was Actually a legit Epstein survivor.

[Sean]

So what's Roblox like? Pedo Minecraft?

[Matt]

Yes, but the game rules for kids, right? I heard it's fun.

[Tim]

It's. It's ass.

[Matt]

It's ass.

[Tim]

It's ass. Every game in Roblox, there's a better real game out there that I would prefer to pay for. Yeah, but they go on Roblox and it's free and then all the kids from school are playing and being, you

[Matt]

know, groomed and groomed. Ton of pedophiles on Roblox, apparently. Dude, I'm. I'm in the.

[Tim]

Allegedly.

[Sean]

Well, no.

[Tim]

I don't know. Are you gonna get in trouble for saying no?

[Matt]

There's. Rob says beef of that. Clean up the goddamn pedophiles off your game, dude.

[Tim]

Well, they're kind of protecting the pedophiles. Yeah, there's guys that are taking it upon themselves to weed out the pedophiles.

[Matt]

What are they paying for a lot of the skins or something? These guys are paying a lot of money.

[Sean]

I paused my childhood for this.

[Matt]

What's up with Roblox? What are they doing? They're pedophiles.

[Tim]

They're like the guys that are trying to like root them out and like trap them and stuff in game are getting permanently suspended and like that. And the pedophiles are just being kind of let off with like a 30 day ban or something like that. Yeah.

[Matt]

What the.

[Tim]

I might be misremembering and I haven't totally done a deep dive, but I think that's the gist of what's going on.

[Sean]

So allegedly, is it guys like hot talking kids or they like. Is a character molesting?

[Tim]

Well, there's a guy that showed up at a kid's house.

[Sean]

Whoa.

[Matt]

Yeah, no, I think they're. Well, yeah, I think they're just trying to like chat him up, kind of get like, what's the situation like? And if. Yeah, if they find like not a lot of parental stuff, it's like, like, let's go. That's how those bastards work. This episode is brought to you by Better Help. Recently I've been. When do I feel the most amount of pressure at work, on stage, or when I'm lying on my belly? I know what it's like to feel stress and burnout. And what's helped me during those times lying on my belly. It's not healthy to feel so much pressure all the time. So it's important to take a moment for you and if you're looking for a healthy way to do that. Try therapy with BetterHelp. No joke. Therapy can help you create balance, or at the very least, it can help you develop better coping skills for when you do feel stressed and overworked. But I get it. When you're overwhelmed by life, the last thing you want to do is spend hours trying to find a therapist or to make time to visit at an Office. That's where BetterHelp comes in. It makes scheduling and attending appointments a breeze because everything, even your meeting with your therapist is done online. With an average rating of 4.9 stars out of 5, I'd say people find it extremely useful. Prioritize your well being with BetterHelp. Visit betterhelp.commssp to get 10 off your first month. That's BetterHelp. H-E-L-P.commssp Guys, please, please come out this weekend. This Friday, 3 13. That's March 13th, 2026. I'll be at the factory in St. Louis, Missouri. It's going to be a good time. Also on Saturday, I'll be at closed Memorial hall in Indianapolis, Indiana. Sales are looking decent for both of those, but we could use a little week of push, if you know what I'm saying. So again, I'll be in Indianapolis on Saturday, St. Louis the loo on Friday. Please come out. Bye.

[Nate]

Also, me and Nate Marshall, this is me, Sean Gardini, and me and Nate Marshall will be in Salt Lake City on March 27th and 28th. We'll also all be in Houston at the Riot Festival at the Riot in Houston in the beginning of April. So please come out to that. I'm sorry, Lemaire. April 3rd, 4th and 5th. Are those dates Optimum Noctis, April 2nd, 7th and. And I'll be in Cincinnati and Springfield, Tulsa and OKC. Please come if you can. Thank you very much. Goodbye.

[Matt]

I'm. I'm like right now my algorithm is been. Because I watched that one. I watched and now it's like nothing but that kind of, of like child groomers and how prevalent they are.

[Tim]

You gotta pull yourself out of it, dude.

[Matt]

It's every night I like fantasize about like beating pedophiles with baseball bats and like shooting them and stuff. Because that now I'm like, really? Because I like.

[Tim]

It's a great screensaver for your brain, by the way.

[Matt]

That's a great Roku City in the background of your mind. It gets me too charged as I wake up. I get woken up in the middle of the night, put my kid back to bed and I go, so what the would I do if I saw a pedophile? And I just started. I get my heart. My beats per minute. My heart are like 1:30. I'm just laying there like, do you

[Sean]

sleep in pedophile hunter pajamas?

[Matt]

I should. It's. I go, pedophiles. And now I'm like, obsessed with sleeper cells from like, terrorism stuff. So I'm like, okay, like, if I'm in this play, I'm in a kid's play place. Guy comes in and I, I just. Game plan. Like, I'm like, between that and the Western Lonesome Dove I'm reading. I'm so. I've never been closer to getting like, tactical training with weapons because I, I'm. I want to become like a crack shot who can also. Because in the, in the book, dude, you ever read, if either you had a read, ever read Lonesome Dove? I mean, I would immediately start. It might be the best. My opinion, one of the best novels of all time. Just about like two guys who are old Texas Rangers who had to go and like, you know, fight Indians, like bad guys, and, and so they're like, kind of retired. But now the one guy's like, we should get. They like, steal a bunch of cattle from this guy in Mexico and they got to just drive a herd. It's about, I would say, about a thousand head.

[Sean]

Hey, man, you ever think about playing gay hockey,

[Matt]

dude, they got to get them from Texas all the way to Montani, and then they just encounter all these people on the planes. But, like, when they encounter dudes that, like, can't shoot people or, like, don't know how to aren't like, weapons trained. They're. They're just kind of like, bro, like, they can't eat. They're like, get the. Away from me. I'm like, I can't. I gotta be weapons trained.

[Tim]

There's touches of that in the Dark Tower. The gunslinger, really? Yeah. Roland's like, the best. He's probably even a better gunslinger than the Lonesome Dove guys.

[Matt]

Yeah, not. You're talking to Augustus McCray. I, I. Before I went to bed last night, he literally shot like nine people. Blue Duck got away. Son of a.

[Sean]

You, you let me, gunslinger. You were the first friend that ever

[Tim]

let me read in the afternoon. He's the best shot ever. He's way better than the Lonesome.

[Matt]

That's cowboys, Stephen King fantasy stuff. Although I heard that series is sick. I gotta, I gotta read that. Well, the, the, like the pecking order in the Wild west is like, Farmers are kind of like, you're kind of a joke if you like. You're a hard worker. The cowboy respects the work ethic of the farmer.

[Tim]

But you're a soft target. Target.

[Matt]

You're an easy, easy target, most likely. And there's also a thing with cowboys where, like, if you ask a cowboy to get off his horse and do a task, he's gonna get kind of miffed. It's beneath a cowboy to get off his horse. If you're like, hey, get off my horse and like, pull these pigs out of the mud. He's gonna, he'll, he might want a problem with you. But then there's cowboy. So the cowboys above the farmer. But then amongst cowboys, it's like, have you ever seen any battle? You know, there's all that other stuff. How good are you playing cards? So there's like kind of cowboys, good cowboys, where they're kind of cowboys and there's like badass cowboys. But then like bordering into renegade. Renegade is like pretty much end all, be all.

[Sean]

Dude. It's tough when pigs get stuck in the mud because most of them are front squeal drive

[Tim]

you like, you leave.

[Matt]

I call them shoats now. I don't even call them pigs anymore. Shoats. That's one independent shot right there. Lonesome Dove, man, I, I, man, I could talk about it for an hour and a half.

[Sean]

It's nice to crack into a good book where you get lost in the fantasy.

[Matt]

800 pages, dude. Oh my God, I'm so sad because I'm on like I'm 600 pages into this book and the thought of it ending, I'm like, Then it turns out. So the guy who wrote Lonesome Dove, I think his name's Larry McMurty Murty or something. Murtree, bro. Guess what else? Guess what other western he wrote. Co wrote, by the way. Nice.

[Sean]

What do you think?

[Tim]

Get a guess.

[Sean]

310 to Yuma.

[Tim]

What's another west Tombstone?

[Matt]

Brokeback Mountain.

[Tim]

Well, I was gonna say that as a joke.

[Matt]

No, he literally co wrote Brokeback Mountain. But I tell a guy or a

[Tim]

lady who's the co writer?

[Matt]

Lady.

[Sean]

Lady.

[Matt]

I, I tell myself the lady handled.

[Tim]

He's just trying to get story.

[Matt]

He did all the good cowboy.

[Tim]

Yeah.

[Matt]

Because he's like, I'm like, this guy's my favorite. And I looked up his other books.

[Sean]

I went, you think you're gonna hide broke back in the inside of Lonesome Dove. When you're finished with it, it.

[Matt]

I mean, Lonesome Dove's so Good. I might give Broke back a run for his money, honestly, but it's. I think he handled all the cowboy details. I think there was a lady who cooked off a sick and twisted plot and she goes, I need a real cowboy to get in here. And nice. This thing up like old Larry to Lonesome Dove.

[Sean]

Yeah. By the end of that journey, you're ready for him.

[Tim]

I mean, you're not so lonesome anymore

[Matt]

when I know there's two of us. Here's the thing though, man.

[Tim]

It.

[Matt]

I mean, I think it happened out on the range more than people care to admit, man. I mean, you're. You're talking about. You're on the. You're on the plains, sunsets. Yeah. You're out on the plains, man. There's not a tree in sight. It's just grass as far as you can.

[Tim]

Trusting each other with your lives.

[Matt]

Exactly.

[Sean]

You know, who's your horse going to tell?

[Matt]

They would also. They would get naked to like the ford. Like, fording rivers was like a huge. That was one thing cowboys would be afraid of because it's like these dudes, like, not swim.

[Tim]

Being covered head to toe in denim doesn't help. When you're neck deep in the.

[Matt]

And you're in river, your wrist is like. You have a thing wrapped leather str wrapped around your wrist. You don't lose the horse and that

[Tim]

the other part is just a horse biting it to hold on to it.

[Matt]

Yeah. I don't know. Horses can swim too, which, surprise, I just didn't know they can swim. Yeah, horse can swim crazy. But yeah, they. But they would like, get naked too. They'd all get naked together. Because it's like if you only have so many dry clothes, so you wrap up your clothes because they, you know, if they got like wet from a rainstorm, you had one other change of clothes.

[Sean]

You think fat cowboys wear a shirt in the river?

[Matt]

I think it was impossible. I don't think there were fat cowboys. I think there's just fat cats. If you're. If you were fat, then someone would be like, here, do you just want to own this railroad company?

[Sean]

You had to be like a banker or something.

[Matt]

Yeah, you'd be a big fat banker, but yeah, Lonesome Dove can't.

[Sean]

It's.

[Matt]

I swear to God, dude, it's. It's like every night when I get to hit the sheets and read a chapter Lonesome Dove, I'm like, are you

[Sean]

going to bed earlier? And earlier just did again.

[Matt]

Yeah, I mean, it's. It's as soon as I can get there as soon as everything's done. I'm right in bed, right? But I only pause the story if I'm gonna get some boozy. Yeah, I had to pause the dove last night. I'm getting to the age where like when you get the real. So you know, when you're like 19, 20, maybe even early 20s, man, you guys, you know, dude, your girl's like,

[Sean]

is that a copy of Lonesome Dove on my lower back.

[Matt]

I'm getting to the age too where it's like, you know, I, I always took like a hundred percent, 110 boner for granted.

[Sean]

Like I know man.

[Matt]

Every time, cash money.

[Sean]

Ye.

[Matt]

Yeah, I, bro, last night I had 110 percenter. And you just enjoy it so much. You're just like, let's go. You just feel awesome. You're taking beetroot. I've been running a lot. Okay. So yeah, I've been doing a lot of sprints too. So like when you, when you do sprints like you're, you, you produce a lot of growth hormone and it like, you know, when you lift weights, your muscles grow. When you do a lot of high like intensive cardio, your whole circulatory system, the growth hormones, makes your veins like wider, more expansive. So you just, just, you just get blood rushing. So yeah, if anyone out there is slapping the old fish around the market, you just gotta, you gotta become a creature and start spreading for your life. Dude, just imagine at the 100 meter mark it's just your hard boner.

[Sean]

Now how long do you got to be training to like get that kind of boner, dude?

[Matt]

I think it's like, honestly, it's pretty quick. Honestly. I, I, I don't know because it's like, you know, there's a lot of other factors obviously you know, with. Boners are a complicated beast, but if you can't think about them, that's the one thing you as soon as you like be like, am I all the way?

[Sean]

It's just, it's a no hitter. Like the second you mention it, it's gone.

[Matt]

It's gone, dude. So that's been, it's been fun for me. It's a fun game. I always like a nice challenge. Now I, I've, I've always been said, I've always been like, nah, nah, I've always been able to talk about, I'm like, not me, bro. I got bricked up 24 7.

[Sean]

I got to try it cuz like I think I'm my, my default boner is at like 80. And it's like you think back to all the boners you took for granted. Like the sixth grade ones when you're reading Diary of Anne Frank, like just rock hard, just bursting through your khakis and you're just like, yeah, this would be for the rest of my life.

[Matt]

Is either one better?

[Sean]

They mentioned that in the sequel, Sean.

[Matt]

That's how they caught him.

[Sean]

He was throwing down on the toilet.

[Matt]

I support your journey.

[Sean]

Thanks, man.

[Matt]

No, this is a complete. No judgment zone. Yeah, I. I did. This is a serious question. Was there racy stuff in Anne Frank? Because I almost vaguely remember dudes getting kind of bricked up reading.

[Sean]

I think she was in love with her cousin. So it's like being that, like, step stuff is popular now. I think if you read that now, you might look at it from a different perspective and get a little. Little hot in the pants. A little hot in the strip of Job.

[Matt]

It's a sixth grade boy. That's not that crazy to say. You know, I get charged up off anything. When I was in sixth grade, honestly, I was reading a girl's name, reading a girl's diary. I was like, oh, dude, honestly, it's

[Sean]

like shameful that we were all reading this poor girl's diary.

[Matt]

Yeah, it's kind of weird, honestly.

[Tim]

I know. And then it was all made up. Yeah, that's the worst part. Oh, I thought we were joking.

[Matt]

We're talking about boners, dude. I thought we were having a fun.

[Sean]

We're having fun.

[Matt]

A serious conversation about. Sorry, but we could have a little

[Tim]

joke here and there. All right.

[Sean]

Welcome, joke to the podcast, dude.

[Matt]

I. I support your joke as well.

[Nate]

Thank you.

[Matt]

I support everyone right now.

[Wes]

Your little one grew three inches overnight. Adorable. Also expensive. Sell their pint sized pieces on Depop and list them in minutes with no selling fees because somewhere a dad refuses to pay full price for the clothes his kids will outgrow tomorrow. And he's ready to buy your son's entire wardrobe right now. Consider your future growth Bird budget secured. Start selling on Depop, where taste recognizes taste. Payment processing fees and boosting fees still apply. See website for details.

[Matt]

Dang. They should make. You're hiding jokes in your podcast. They should make a joke like a pride joke flag. You know what I'm talking about? Instead of like the rainbow flag, that's like trans, gay, lesbians, black people, for whatever reason. I'm so sorry they made you guys all gay. That's. It's like, if you're gay, fine. But like, if you can't just be gay and be like. And we call black people too. It's like, leave them the hell out of this. Pinks, pastels, blues. It's like black and brown. The hell's that?

[Sean]

That Atlanta.

[Matt]

What is the reason for that, by the way? It's such a weird. I saw like, you know, and again, whatever, do your thing. But like, that was always the thing for me. I was just kind of like, why? What does that represent? And I'm pretty sure it represents like being in solidarity with black and brown people. That's nothing to do with sexual preferences.

[Tim]

Do you guys feel bolstered by gay people joining your cause?

[Matt]

Unless that could be. Yeah, I don't even know.

[Tim]

I think Matt's onto something.

[Nate]

It says here for it's specifically to represent and include LGBTQ people that are bipoc as well.

[Matt]

Yeah, but what the.

[Nate]

So it's only for bipoc.

[Matt]

Like when you guys are gay, it's a whole separate thing. So it's not black people be gay like this.

[Sean]

Would you guys consider marching with furries?

[Matt]

Not out of like a political thing, just for kink. For kink. Not your thing. Yeah, okay, fair enough. So the stripe. Just to clarify, that's what the stripes for. It's not for like BBC loving. Anyway, that's. I was just curious about that.

[Sean]

So funny throwing that on there like a kid throwing a candy bar on the.

[Matt]

The.

[Sean]

The belt at the supermarket when his mom's not looking.

[Matt]

Yeah, toss it up.

[Sean]

I'm done.

[Matt]

I mean, I think personally if. If you have a flag, totally fair. Needs to come with a national anthem or some sort of song. There needs to be a gay national. I. That's look. You think so?

[Nate]

Unofficial ones.

[Sean]

Yeah.

[Nate]

Pink Pony Club is updated.

[Matt]

Pink Pony Club. Damn. I love that. I listen that with my kids all the time. That's a gay national anthem.

[Nate]

No, just maybe in my head.

[Matt]

Yeah.

[Tim]

Isn't like a lesbian stripper.

[Sean]

Yeah. Caleb Scott's big.

[Matt]

Okay.

[Nate]

Techno beats Madonna.

[Matt]

YNCA. There you go. Never mind. Never mind.

[Sean]

Calling Mr. Vane.

[Matt]

What are you talking about? Dude, that's definitely the gay national anthem. Anytime if you. If you're dressed like construction worker and someone has any other type of outfit, you get called the Village People. And people are, you know, gay national anthem for sure. National anthem. This is how we do.

[Tim]

No. What is it?

[Matt]

Oh, really? What the hell?

[Tim]

How's it go? Could you sing? It's just a bar of it. Maybe every voice and sing till her. Sean, could you add like rattling chains to the.

[Matt]

Oh, geez, Butter, you're being so nasty today.

[Tim]

No, that was more about his timbre and. And the way he was saying. I'm sure it's a higher register.

[Matt]

We're on one today, man. What are you talking about? Well, well, well, well. So what else are you guys up to?

[Sean]

You know me. I was pigging out in that hotel room.

[Matt]

What were you doing? Oh, yeah, that's. Oh, that's okay. That's where the whole conversation came from. You were at a hotel next to the airport, and I got secretly very jealous of you. You can really pig at a hotel next to an airport?

[Sean]

Yeah, bro, I'm not kidding when I say I was four or five times a day.

[Matt]

They should cut. The hotels next to the airport should have a direct modem connection that can go right into your phone.

[Sean]

Yeah, at the end of the day, my phone's like, I'm tired, boss. It's nice, man. I crank the tunes, I talk to my phone.

[Matt]

That's awesome. So you were just. You were just set up like a king, Just chilling. Dude, it's.

[Sean]

I got such a nice hotel for 85 bucks, and I was just going ballistic in that thing.

[Matt]

I was having.

[Sean]

I told you. I was having guests come up to record podcasts, too. So I was meeting guys in the lobby, bringing them up into, like, a. Like a comedy.

[Tim]

Was there a towel under the door?

[Matt]

If I felt like the rap rainforest in there.

[Sean]

It was so nice because there was no, like, verification like, it is in Texas. Like, back in Pennsylvania. It was the wild west, man.

[Matt]

Have you age verified?

[Sean]

Honestly, it's funny you bring that up this morning. I did, because one of my favorite ladies, Sadie Andrews, she was putting out a new video today, and I signed up for her premium service. But I was kind of bummed because the video she posted didn't come out until Tim and I were on our way here.

[Matt]

I hope your aunt burns in hell, dude.

[Sean]

But, Yeah, I can't wait to dig into that thing when I get home, man.

[Tim]

You think this is more acceptable than daddy vaping?

[Matt]

I'm ready to have this conversation.

[Tim]

This is better than daddy vaping. Daddy gooning is better than daddy vaping.

[Matt]

Here's the thing in privacy. Yes. If you were to get busted Daddy gooning, and then he's got to stop. You're vaping right in front of him. Them.

[Tim]

No, I don't.

[Matt]

You've.

[Tim]

I hide it from them like a.

[Matt]

That's different. Hold on. That's different.

[Tim]

Of a different color.

[Matt]

That's good. I'm completely on your Side. Yeah. If you're. If you're privately vaping, that's your business. Also just secretly vape. I have so many uncles that secretly smoke cigarettes from everyone in my life.

[Tim]

Yeah, that actually does sound exciting. Yeah.

[Matt]

Dude, I had uncles that just smoke cigarettes on construction sites. Would never do it around anywhere, like, anywhere else.

[Sean]

Oh, man, that's so cool.

[Tim]

I'm going to start vaping on construction sites.

[Matt]

Hey, watch out. Just be careful. Yeah, that's what you could do. Do I. I think you could continue vaping if you got real into, like, if you build a gazebo. I feel like if you build a gazebo with your bare hands and you're like, I'm gonna come out here and vape. Yeah. No one can say to you, my

[Tim]

vaping gazebo

[Matt]

covered a nice crawling ivy. I think if you build a gazebo. I mean, no, I. I. Geek. Bar gazebo. Don't bother daddy. He's in his gazebo. Yeah, when you put it that way, it might not help the cause. What if you, like, draped it out, like a really sheer material so that when you vape, it's like, almost like a ceremonial thing? Like some pipette. Like some pipe and draping. Sure. It'd be kind of chill.

[Tim]

Yeah.

[Sean]

You know what else?

[Tim]

Be cool as hell? What if I set up, like, a tap system at a bar so I'm never actually vaping the vice. There's just, like, cords that come down that are tapped to, like, vape banks under the gazebo, and I'm just hitting the tap.

[Matt]

That's kind of nice.

[Tim]

That'd be sick. I could YouTube that.

[Matt]

What about hookah? You think I would be like, dude, I do have E hookahs.

[Tim]

I do have a couple of disposable E hookahs.

[Sean]

What?

[Matt]

So is that a vape with just like a.

[Tim]

With a genie on it? It's like a. It's like a tubular vape with, like. Well, one of them has, like, a flaming night on it. And it's not vaping. It's ehookah. It's completely different.

[Matt]

What's the difference, actually? Is it water filtered?

[Tim]

What?

[Matt]

Is it filtered through water? Why is it. What's it. What's the difference?

[Tim]

No, it's the. It's the. Whatever the different herb is that they hookah. And I'll tell you, this does not scratch the vapeish.

[Sean]

Tim, who controls the vape banks?

[Tim]

Wait, was the pond hookah controls or who controls who can.

[Sean]

We'll do it on our controls.

[Tim]

You're not gonna trip Me up.

[Matt]

Well, this has been a great time.

[Sean]

Do you share your vape with other guys?

[Tim]

Only Ari. Maddie.

[Matt]

That's fair. Yeah. I mean, look. Yeah. You're gonna have to, like, start stashing them.

[Tim]

Yeah, like the liquor in the attic.

[Matt]

What's. So let me get. Let me get the counterpoint. What is the. What's the gruff with you vaping?

[Tim]

It's a health risk.

[Matt]

Yeah.

[Tim]

And I'm getting old and it's gay. I think it's probably equally weighted between

[Matt]

the two dying and being gay. Yeah, his vape is. And I'm fine with both. Yeah.

[Tim]

I don't.

[Matt]

We're all going to be holding.

[Tim]

I'm gay and I don't want to live a second longer than I absolutely have to.

[Matt]

Okay. Solid defense.

[Tim]

I also really like it. My penis sucks sometimes. It's like that's. That's the trade off in my.

[Sean]

Do you ever vape while you get it sucked?

[Tim]

I haven't. I don't make enough money for that. Rest assured, when things hit for me, I will be moving different.

[Sean]

Baby, you in the mood for a little blue razor?

[Matt]

Have you tried to share the vape? You're like, just get in on this

[Tim]

thing a little bit.

[Matt]

Oh, yeah, that's a good move.

[Sean]

Would you be in the heaven? Vape, smoke, blood.

[Tim]

She goes, no, I'm not a gay guy.

[Matt]

Devastating, bro.

[Tim]

That hurts.

[Matt]

But that hurts. Okay, that hurts. I mean, I might switch to gooning

[Tim]

and say, is this preferable? Now, I know women's names online that I send $5 to. Is this better than me hitting the frozen white mango while I play marathon. Is that.

[Matt]

Is that.

[Tim]

Is this different?

[Sean]

Brother, I got a queen size bed and my wife and I are fighting right now. Come over when we're on. We'll each hold one end of the phone and I'll show you Sadie Andrew's new video.

[Matt]

The question is, what do you want?

[Tim]

I don't even know, man. Just going to be left alone.

[Sean]

Come Goon man.

[Matt]

True.

[Tim]

Goon man was my Vietnamese friend in high school.

[Matt]

Look, I think we all should just chill out. Go on menat.com, throw off some steam. Just have it out. Talk to the bros. You would go

[Sean]

to men chat first, then gay dot com. You think what would happen if. Would you get spit out instead of sucked in?

[Matt]

Well, I think we're. I don't know. I think. You know, the crazy thing is, is, like, as a guy jerking off online, recording yourself, there's a market for you pretty much always. So I was like, are we Too old for men chat. We be the guys asking for the vids. Or, like, what the hell? What do I even do on there? I don't know.

[Sean]

Yeah,

[Matt]

we should all go get some new outfits. You should go on menchat.com and just videotape yourself vaping. There's probably. I. I would imagine there's gay guys. I want to see you vaping, bro. Now you're like, this is business. Now you're. Now you're interfere with business, babe. I can't let that slide. I'm on Medjet.com. we could argue, dude. We could all.

[Tim]

We could all hit the white peach mango and call it gang vape.

[Matt]

Oh, there's gonna be a game.

[Tim]

Vape tab.

[Matt]

Oh, man. Oh, man, oh, man, oh, man. That's great.

[Tim]

I don't know. There's no. There's no easy answer for this stuff. There's no.

[Matt]

There's not definitive.

[Sean]

I think it would go like Russian nesting dolls. Like, you could probably be the. Be the hunted. Matt's like the middle ground, and I'm the guy that's asking for the vids. San Francisco nesting dolls.

[Matt]

True. I'm probably like. I'm probably vids receiving. I'd probably be hitting them like, yo, rain check that out.

[Sean]

Yeah, you're liaison.

[Matt]

I think if we.

[Tim]

If I did sit in the middle, this would be sort of a Pokemon evolution of Gabe Herbert Charizard.

[Matt]

This episode is sponsored by gay.com. and apparently Matt looks like a twink. Oh, no, I'm a tw.

[Tim]

I'm a bear.

[Matt]

I'm actually. Get it right. I'm a Twitch Jack twink. Whoa. It's like a hunky twink is when a twink puts on muscle. Who forced you to learn that? Charles Plisnick. When I did what you were called Gargoyles Incorporated. He broke me off with twunk terminology, and I was like, bro, thank you.

[Sean]

What's Tim

[Matt]

seal? I would imagine I've heard that before. Their cub, maybe? Yeah, it could be a bear cub. Yeah. What would you be.

[Sean]

Tell me, brother, what do you think I am? Yo, go crazy in the chat. If you can tell me what I am.

[Matt]

I think. Would you say you're. Honest to God. Would you say you're a bear or a pig? Pig is high, stat. Honestly, bro, I have nothing but respect for gay pigs. You know what a pig is, right?

[Sean]

No, tell me.

[Matt]

So there was a guy. My brother drove trash trucks. There was a trash truck driver who was just an out and out pig. So a pig is like A guy who rolls up. You know you have twunks. You got the seals. You got the bears. A pig. We'd be partying. We have the airport hotel be all partying. A pig would roll up. And a pig is just like. A pig will do anything. Dude.

[Nate]

Wow.

[Sean]

Man.

[Matt]

Clean up duty. Like pigs are just like the horniest gay guys possible.

[Sean]

I hope you guys are ready for

[Matt]

some scrapple so you could be bear. I don't want to tell you. I'm just putting all the options out there. You know what a pig to me is like.

[Sean]

I'm an effort guy. So I think I'd be a pig. I opposed to a bear.

[Matt]

It's like the Seeker in Quidditch. They're like. It's the most important thing. While everyone's doing their thing, they're like really winning the game either side. A pig is nice. I like to think I'm a bit of a pig as well.

[Sean]

You can be a twang pig.

[Matt]

I mean bro. I think there would be nothing more in demand than a twunk pig. A hairless. Hairless bro. Completely hairless. You could really get me glistening. You could wax me up fine. I. Good luck. Even get holding me though. I'd be. I'd be a slippery fella.

[Sean]

Yeah.

[Matt]

I could picture you.

[Sean]

Picture you want to float.

[Matt]

You're the and snitch. I do have a fat ass. All your guys asses. Dude.

[Sean]

I'm. I'm. I'm bulking up for the summer. I'm kicking for the summer.

[Matt]

What's your ass looking like right now?

[Tim]

I'm caked. Historically caked.

[Matt]

That's what's up.

[Sean]

Yeah, I've been flipping the tire.

[Matt]

That's what's up. Have you really? Dude. A lot of guys have no ass. I've been learning. It's the saddest thing in the world. I know. What do you got? Are you. You're dog ass, right? That's caked.

[Tim]

Yeah.

[Matt]

Are you caked or dog ass?

[Nate]

I have dog ass.

[Matt]

Dog ass. Nate Notorious Dog Ass. Yeah, I used to have it ass. And now you lost your ass.

[Sean]

I lost my ass gambling.

[Tim]

I used to be caked up.

[Matt]

Lost my ass. How'd you lose your ass? I just. I don't know. I just started sitting on it. I stopped. I was sitting on it all squished my ass. I don't know. That's fair.

[Sean]

I don't think you're caked up, Lemire. I think you probably got teacher ass.

[Matt]

You think it's teacher?

[Sean]

Just wide and Just mushed. You look like. Like the kind of ass that looks like you say, come here baby.

[Matt]

Teacher ass is crazy.

[Tim]

Your knees don't bend inward, do they?

[Matt]

Okay.

[Tim]

I'm just making sure because that kind of dictates the shape of the big guy butt. You know it gets kind of like a bloodhound mouth thing going.

[Matt]

Yeah. That's. There's not much variation for guys asses.

[Nate]

Honestly.

[Matt]

Honestly. Either have a fat ass or just no ass. Really? There's not. Women. You have like heart shaped tiny. You know you have a lot. You have a lot of different butts. Oh God dang. Man. I think we done did it. Where we at here?

[Sean]

Wow. Man.

[Matt]

God damn.

[Sean]

Tonk Talk took us home.

[Matt]

Tonk Talk. We really slid into home. Consistent thread through the entire app.

[Tim]

Perfect.

[Matt]

Perfect. It's got to be called. The episode is definitely gay.com for sure.

[Sean]

Can you get them as a last minute sponsor you think?

[Matt]

I would like to hope. Either that or you guys familiar with wow.

[Wes]

Wow.

[Sean]

Wes. No. Tell me I shouldn't even talk about

[Matt]

the hello right now. There's a place in. I think it's like New England somewhere where it's just an all male naked retreat. And when I first heard that I was like serious. That's kind of like crazy. But it's obviously just gay guys. And if you're under 33 years old, your first day is for three.

[Sean]

Larry Bird fans

[Matt]

under 33.

[Tim]

Bird fans

[Matt]

under 30. It's like 31 or 32. But either way I don't put the house on blast.

[Sean]

You know there's a nasty denotation behind that.

[Matt]

Yeah. I think so.

[Tim]

We're gonna do that. Meat meet up at the Wild Wild West.

[Matt]

Yes.

[Tim]

Do a land party at the wow wow West.

[Matt]

Being outside. Being outside naked in the woods would rip. Undoubtedly.

[Sean]

I would be scared of getting attacked by something.

[Matt]

A twunk? No.

[Sean]

Just like some weird beast in the woods. Like a fox or something.

[Matt]

A fox? Wouldn't it. A naked guy fox will steal your

[Tim]

penis in the woods.

[Sean]

That's what I worry about. Man. Yeah.

[Tim]

They're so cunning.

[Matt]

A little fox bite would get you

[Sean]

wearing a little cloak.

[Matt]

True.

[Nate]

True.

[Tim]

Sneak up and just snatch your little penis off and run away. But if you feel better clothed. Or is that not the issue? Yeah.

[Sean]

I would like being clothed in the woods.

[Tim]

Okay. Huh.

[Sean]

That way you can just get loose.

[Matt]

You don't want to be naked and afraid.

[Sean]

Yeah, I. I think I would.

[Matt]

Bugs too. Bugs. Getting a bug up your butt would be terrible. Especially you got a line up your butt especially.

[Sean]

You got like a little slippery centipede going up there.

[Matt]

I'd worry about some roly polies having a time butt couple. Those little guys just curling up their

[Sean]

balls and doing a conga line, tickling

[Matt]

me with their little, little feet. God damn. Damn.

[Sean]

Yeah.

[Matt]

We about landed this bird.

[Sean]

Oh man.

[Matt]

Thank you guys.

[Sean]

Thank you for having us, man.

[Matt]

Dude, obviously check out dad meat.

[Sean]

Yeah baby.

[Tim]

Oh, come see me on the road. I'm in. I'm in Ohio this weekend. I'm in Boston next weekend. I'm taping a 30 minute special at the creek in the cave with that gas digital in May come do that stuff please.

[Matt]

That'll be awesome.

[Sean]

Yeah, check out my [e-mail] also patreon.com getting some head. I'm doing a goals and accountability group so check that out in comments the week.

[Matt]

Hell yeah. Also this weekend guys, this is really big. I'll be in Indianapolis. Sorry I'm going off the gay.com interview. I mean St. Louis at the factory on Friday and then 3:14, I'll be at Memorial hall in Indianapolis, Indiana. Please come out to that. And that's it. Thank you. Awesome. Watch new episodes of Matt and Shane's secret podcast on Spotify. Do it.