Ep 604 - Tyler Gerben (feat. Steve Gerben, Dan Soder, Billy & Spud)

Summary

Matt and Shane’s Secret Podcast — Episode 604: "Tyler Gerben" (feat. Steve Gerben, Dan Soder, Billy & Spud)

Date: March 20, 2026
Duration: ~2 hours

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Episode Overview

This freewheeling episode of Matt and Shane’s Secret Podcast is an epic roundtable featuring Matt McCusker, Shane Gillis, Steve Gerben ("German"/"Gerb"), Dan Soder, Billy, and Spud. The guys riff on everything from manosphere gurus and the enigma of the “cute date spot,” to Jewishness at cat expos, gun range escapades, AI paranoia, generational dumbness, sports legends, and white monsters. Dripping with spontaneous bits, sarcasm, bro wisdom, and trademark ball-busting, the conversation jumps from cult documentaries to trash truck jobs to nostalgia for ‘90s sports, keeping the vibe high and the laughs rolling.

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Key Segments & Themes

1. Manosphere Send-Up & Cult Doc (00:00–04:45)

• Chess and Threesomes Skit: The pod opens with the guys messing around about manosphere lifestyle advice, joking about playing chess and “having threesomes” as some self-help guru's ideal. Shane quips, “Me and Spud come down here and sit silently and play chess for hours. And then we have threesomes.” [00:15]
• Cults & Loneliness: Gerb brings up Louis Theroux documentaries about isolated men and the types who get sucked into cults due to lacking male role models. "The dudes are like, don’t chase them, dude. Yeah, if you don’t chase, they’ll come days. Like, dude, they won’t.” [00:36]
• Scientology Riff: They riff on Scientology, poking fun at recruitment tactics and lifelong contracts. “You sign a contract, you gotta live in outer space.” [02:34]
• Religious Parallels: Bill ponders whether what starts as a fringe cult could go mainstream, likening it to early Christianity.

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2. “We Killed Jesus” Bit & Jewishness (04:45–14:25)

• Cult & Messiah Doc Talk: German analyses sex cult documentaries (NXIVM), draws parallels to biblical times, and ‘understands’ (in a joking way) how societies might turn on disruptive figures like Jesus.
• Notable Moment: Shane checks German—“No, I was just saying you said earlier, earlier in the podcast, he said, I understand why we killed Jesus.” [11:01]
  German, clarifying: “No, I said, I. I said, if…” [11:09]
• Jewish Identity & Cat Expo: German and Shane recount going to an animal expo and overhearing anti-Semitic remarks. The group riffs on “daywalker” Jewishness and public identity. [13:11–13:39]
• Cat Shows: Extended bit about cat judging and Maine Coon cats at the expo.

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3. Parental Politics, Old People and Cable, Streaming Rants (15:01–19:20)

• Parents & Fox News: Shane and Bill exchange stories about their parents’ political leanings and cable obsessions.
  "It’s my dad getting $500 Comcast bills, dude. Now...it’s ripping off old people." [08:50]
• Modern Streaming Sucks: Complaints about Netflix and Prime introducing ads, rising subscription costs, and product placement in comedy specials.

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4. UFC, Chess, and Dick Jokes (19:20–21:40)

• Shane’s Hypothetical UFC Comic Bit: Shane proposes he does stand-up like a UFC fighter, covered in product sponsorships, and details the plight of having a “nub” in the octagon.
• Dick Talk: Group riffs on shrinkage, Super Mario posture, and Mom/Dad banter.

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5. Gun Range Adventure (21:41–28:00)

• First Time at the Range: Shane recaps taking German to fire a gun for the first time, with German sharing his real fear:
  “As soon as we get in there, a couple loud pops from down the range. He was like, oh, shit.” [22:19]
• Shane: “He called it the Cobble airstrikes.” [22:31]
• Tangents on Philly Ranges: Stories of wild gun range visits in Philadelphia.

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6. Manosphere, 5D Chess, and Conspiracies (28:00–33:41)

• Manosphere Again: The pod circles back to the absurdity of manosphere influencers and conspiracy theories ("cash for kids," "cash for clunkers," and analog vs digital engines).
• 5D Chess Metaphor: Billy and Shane riff on internet politicos arguing that world events are "5D chess"—over-analytic, nonsensical explanations for international affairs.
  “There’s a lot of dudes on the Internet right now, like, going with some crazy theories, and they’re like, it’s CHESS and it’s 5D. Trump’s in control.” [115:55]

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7. AI, Memes, and Bro Culture (20:16–22:07; 33:45–44:00)

• AI Dismissal: Shane is skeptical—“Video games aren’t that good yet. Once video games get real good, then I’ll go, damn. AI is out of control…” [20:28]
• Old Memes: Bill and Gerb reminisce about a super-intricate George Bush meme (“It’s a meme of George Bush handing a football off to Obama in a poppy field. And like Osama bin Laden’s in the background.” [21:47])
• Bro Fitness/Aesthetics: Shane and Gerb roast each other’s workout regimens, with German being accused of “looks-maxxing,” working out in a cowboy hat, and hitting pull-ups like a “tier one operator.”
  “He works out in a cowboy hat and a wife beater in his gym.” [33:47]

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8. Sing-Alongs, Masculinity, and Dates (35:13–38:44)

• Singing in Front of Boys: Shane recalls being on another podcast and everyone breaking into song, which is dubbed the “hardest thing for a man to do.”
• "Cute" Date Spots Debacle: Running joke about German calling bars “cute date spots,” and the group’s mock discomfort with the term. “Somebody will be like, what about this bar? He goes, oh, that’s such a cute date spot… And I said, no.” [32:44]
• Serial Dating & “Forever Hole”:
  Bill: “You’re looking for your Forever Hole.” [58:35]
  German: “I’m looking for my Forever Hole.” [58:39] Shane: “Forever Hole is crazy.” [58:44]

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9. School Stories, Cheating, and Adderall (43:00–55:00)

• Being Dumb & Cheating: Honest confessions of failing classes, faking research papers, and never learning real math, roasted with friendly self-awareness. “All my boys that were in, like, AP were cheating their balls off. And I was like, how.” [53:44]
• Notable Quote:
  Shane: "I cheated a lot. And how do you cheat, though?" [53:49]
• Community College & Class Skipping: Bill and Shane detail flunking out, skipping classes, and the weirdness of returning to community college.

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10. Theories, “Tyler Durden” and Freedom (61:06–64:00)

• Fight Club Identity Crisis:
  German: “That, like, I’m his Tyler Durden.” [31:13]
  Shane: “He thinks I’m repressing things because he says stuff like, oh, Jolene’s is the cutest date spot in the West.” [32:33]
• Freedom & Jealousy: Shane admits to envying German’s social confidence/freedom, wishing he enjoyed “singing songs with the girls at salon,” though ultimately sees their “freedoms” as different.

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11. Internet, Social Media, & Modern Masculinity (64:00–75:00)

• Gay Podcast Bits & TikTok/Twitter:
  The group riffs on internet virality, algorithm failures (“my algorithm is all NBA clips now”), and Shane’s social media getting hijacked by absurd memes and gay podcast intros.
• Looks-Maxing: Ongoing jokes about aging, “peptides,” and bro science.

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12. Sports: MLB, NBA, ‘90s Nostalgia (75:00–131:47)

• Barry Bonds, Sosa, McGwire: [82:06–85:44] Long tangent about ‘roid-era baseball, Barry Bonds, and their greatness. Urban: “Bonds was the man. He never got caught… And then he stops playing, and he just comes back to earth and…yeah, he’s definitely steroids.” [84:10]
• Philly & Giants Nostalgia: Swapping tales of their favorite teams, classic games, and insane sports stats.
• Larry Bird & NBA Legends:
  Urban: “Doc Rivers. He played for the Hawks when Larry [Bird] was like, I’m gonna hit this three in this corner. And then he did.” [129:04]
• Wilt, Shaq, Lambert: Celebratory recollections of NBA giants, including tales of Wilt Chamberlain’s 100-point game and Shaq’s “Cribs” bed and free throw disasters.

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13. Education & Dumb Traditions (44:00–51:36, 91:10–94:00)

• Extended joking about dumb classes, Adderall, never learning math, and breaking teachers with teen psyops.
• Memory lane about surviving teachers, cheating, and taking pride in being “lifelong naturals” or “not meant for school.”
• Notable Moment:
  Bill: “The real about being stupid is being too stupid to cheat. Because a lot of the smart kids can cheat.” [53:31]

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14. Real-Life Bits: Family, Milk Lore & Ajax McCusker (73:00–78:10)

• Milk Consumption Lore: Stories of huge families crushing “four gallons of milk at a time” and the jug-lifting prowess of Ajax McCusker.
• Ajax’s Singing: Ajax’s surprising talent, his singing at weddings, high school Metallica covers, and being a gentle giant.
  Urban: “That’s the fantasy of every teenager—to rip it at a talent show.” [79:09]

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15. Miscellaneous: Video Games, Parenting, and More (92:00–End)

• Tangents about Tony Hawk’s Pro Skater, NBA/NHL video game glitches, pool hustling, and unashamed “rookie” settings.
• Political Cynicism: The “straight of Hormuz” as comic shorthand for geopolitical hot takes.
• Obscure Documentaries: Shoutouts for docs like “The Smashing Machine,” “Monster Next Door,” and more.

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Notable Quotes & Bits (by Timestamp)

• On joining a “manosphere” cult:
  Shane: “Me and Spud come down here and sit silently and play chess for hours. And then we have threesomes.” [00:15]

• On the futility of manosphere advice:
  Bill: “Dudes are invisible. They kind of have a point… The guys that get really sucked into it, like Louie lucks out on those documentaries.” [01:03]

• On “killing Jesus” as a societal reaction to messianic cults:
  Shane: “No, I was just saying you said earlier in the podcast, ‘I understand why we killed Jesus.’” [11:01]
  German: “No, I said, I. I said, if…” [11:09]

• On being the Tyler Durden of the group:
  German: “That, like, I’m his Tyler Durden.” [31:13]
  Shane: “He thinks I’m repressing things because he says stuff like, ‘Oh, Jolene’s is the cutest date spot in the West.’” [32:33]

• On “Forever Hole”:
  Bill: “You’re looking for your Forever Hole.” [58:35]
  German: “I’m looking for my Forever Hole.” [58:39]

• On cheating and being dumb:
  Bill: “The real about being stupid is being too stupid to cheat. Because a lot of the smart kids can cheat.” [53:31]

• On legendary athletes:
  Urban: “Bonds was the man. He never got caught… And then he stops playing, and he just comes back to earth and…yeah, he’s definitely steroids.” [84:10]
  Shane: “Wilt is the goat. That’s 100 points.” [129:39]

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Timestamps for Key Segments

• 00:00–05:00: Manosphere, Cult Docs, Chess Bits
• 05:00–15:00: Killing Jesus Banter, Cat Expo, Jewishness
• 15:00–19:00: Parents, Fox News, Streaming Complaints
• 21:41–28:00: Gun Range Adventure
• 28:00–33:45: Manosphere, 5D Chess, Conspiracy Bits
• 33:45–44:00: Fitness, “Cute” Date Spots, Pull-Ups
• 44:00–55:00: Cheating in School, Adderall, Math Trauma
• 61:06–64:00: Fight Club/Tyler Durden Identity
• 73:00–78:10: Milk Lore and Ajax McCusker
• 82:06–85:44: Barry Bonds, MLB Riffs
• 129:39–133:20: NBA Legends, Bill Laimbeer, Shaq, Wilt

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Memorable Moments

• "Cute Date Spots" Running Bit: The relentless, affectionate roasting of German for calling places "cute," drawing out masculinity anxieties and generational differences.
• Tyler Durden Theory: German’s hypothesis that he is Shane’s Tyler Durden, symbolizing repressed gentleness vs. stoic bravado, is a recurring and comedic touchstone.
• Ajax McCusker Singing: Discovery of Ajax’s deep pipes and his gentle giant mythology.
• Gun Range Drama: German’s fear and eventual triumph at the range is a microcosm for bro-mastery and self-deprecating friendship humor.
• Manosphere Satire: Early, constant undermining of self-help grift culture and YouTube pseudo-gurus.
• MLB/NBA Nostalgia: Group’s deep knowledge and reverence for ‘90s sports legends, with pitch-perfect voices and a haze of admiration for weird sports stats.

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Tone & Vibe

The episode is classic Matt and Shane: edgy, irreverent, and uncensored but ultimately grounded in friendship. Self-deprecation, honest confessions, and inside jokes mingle with thoughtful moments and dead-serious sports references. Nobody is safe from the roast, but every bit comes with a wink and a hug. The vibe is distinctly East Coast, working-class, and millennial dude—sarcasm, pop culture, and sudden depth never more than a punchline apart.

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For New Listeners

This episode is a potent sampler of the podcast’s charms: slightly chaotic, loud, and deeply funny, but unexpectedly sweet and weirdly insightful. If you want raw comedic takes on culture, sports, and male friendship, start here.

Skip ads, intros, and promos for the pure buddy banter & ballbusting.

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Transcript

[Shane Gillis]

Wild wild west. Hey, guys, we're here. We're live from the the manosphere. We do have the chessboard out to show everybody.

[Bill]

This is the premium we think about.

[Shane Gillis]

This is what we do.

[Gerb]

Dude, you gotta get them into the telegram.

[Shane Gillis]

Me and Spud come down here and sit silently and play chess for hours. And then we have threesomes.

[Gerb]

All these girls with Spud tattooed on them.

[Urban]

Yeah.

[Bill]

Their main people have to be like 13 year olds. Because if you like, could actually sell multiple chicks or a dude like 13 year old boys, like, hey, I want three girlfriends.

[Shane Gillis]

Yeah, that would be sick.

[Bill]

It's like, dude, that's.

[Shane Gillis]

Oh, you mean trying to sell that to regular dudes like. Like adult men that are like, I can't get one girlfriend. What the are these guys talking about?

[Bill]

That's what me and Swede were talking about that the other day. The dudes are like, don't chase them, dude. Yeah, if you don't chase, they'll come days like, dude, they won't.

[Gerb]

Yeah, you going to know you exist.

[Shane Gillis]

Yeah, you just go to your. Go to your job, go back home. Go to your job, go back home.

[Bill]

You to be the machinist.

[Shane Gillis]

I'm never going to chase. Just no one knows you live.

[Gerb]

Yeah, dudes are invisible. They kind of have a point. But then the guys that get really sucked into it, like Louie lucks out on those documentaries. The dude's sitting there, he's like grilling him a little bit. And then the guy's like, yeah, well, you know, I had problem my dad. I didn't really. I have a strong male figure. And they're like, what happened to your dad? He's like, he took his own life. And it's like, dude, how's he find these guys? Like, Louie just rolls up on him. Yeah, he's the best dude. Scientology one is like, that's one of the best documentaries.

[Bill]

The Scientology scare. You better not get in that you garbage actually would. Yeah, you better.

[Gerb]

Dude.

[German]

Who are we talking?

[Shane Gillis]

Yeah, we thought you would be a scientologist.

[German]

Scientologist. You were what?

[Gerb]

German? If you give them all your money, it'll make all your dreams come true.

[Shane Gillis]

Oh, what if they were like, you will be the next time. This is what they do.

[German]

Okay.

[Shane Gillis]

I know exactly how he operates. He'd be like, well, I don't give a fuck about this religion and I'm just doing it. Who gives a.

[German]

I. I did listen to Lawrence Wright's book on.

[Gerb]

Yeah, the going clear.

[German]

Yeah, I thought that was.

[Shane Gillis]

What do you think of it?

[German]

I Thought it was great when I read it or listened to it.

[Shane Gillis]

You wouldn't consider joining the church?

[German]

No.

[Shane Gillis]

Why.

[German]

Why would I?

[Gerb]

All your money, they'll bone, smash you give me a job, you'll be the tomcat dude. You'll be the next maverick.

[German]

Wow.

[Shane Gillis]

You would do with a heartbeat.

[German]

Yeah, you're definitely rooster or something.

[Shane Gillis]

Yeah.

[German]

See, so you're the guy. Yeah, that's tough. And so I just. And then I like, what's my obligation?

[Gerb]

You gotta give them all your money.

[German]

Oh, all my money?

[Gerb]

All your money.

[Bill]

No, no, it goes beyond that. Your obligation is for billions of years.

[Gerb]

Yeah.

[Shane Gillis]

You sign a contract, you gotta live in outer space.

[Bill]

Yeah, all right, then, no, you don't

[Shane Gillis]

live in outer space. Impossible.

[German]

What?

[Shane Gillis]

You don't want to be in MI13.

[Gerb]

Might be the only technology that can save humanity and all the rest of the galaxy for millions of years.

[Shane Gillis]

Yeah, could be.

[Gerb]

Could be. I mean, I'll try to be an sp.

[Shane Gillis]

I like the political answer, though. You don't want to disparage Scientology. It could be. Maybe they're not the spirit.

[German]

I don't think that it is.

[Bill]

You're gonna disparage science.

[Shane Gillis]

Yeah. So I just did it, bro. You're never gonna be Tom Cruise.

[Bill]

Are you familiar. You're familiar with squirrel busting?

[German]

I don't know what squirrel busting is.

[Bill]

No, it's when scientologists get on your ass and they start to your day up.

[Urban]

It's called squirrel busting.

[Bill]

That's what they do to suppressive people.

[German]

Oh, you guys didn't listen carefully.

[Shane Gillis]

I must be getting squirrel busted again. I don't know where these days suck.

[Bill]

Yeah, yeah, the Scientology. Once you get into it though, like at some point that could have been Christianity where everyone's like, dude, the guy made it up. He just wrote a bunch of books. And now I'm just. How dare you? I'm just saying it could be like that.

[Shane Gillis]

Yeah. Checkmate. Do not say there you.

[Bill]

A thousand years from now, someone could

[Shane Gillis]

be like, dude, for real.

[Bill]

That's not funny to say.

[Shane Gillis]

I don't respect pawns, dude.

[Bill]

It's chess and it's five day.

[German]

I think I've talked about this before, but when I saw that sex cult documentary. Oh, yeah, Excessium. Yeah. At the end of that, when the women were like, outside the jail, his. He's in jail and there's like women outside the jail.

[Gerb]

Keith Renery, he's one. He's kind of tangential to Epstein. Go on.

[German]

I was like, I get killing Jesus because there's A point to where you're like.

[Gerb]

And then they do it like that. And you're like, they're real.

[Shane Gillis]

This guy, Jesus for this guy.

[German]

It's just. I mean, granted, cooler heads would prevail.

[Shane Gillis]

I thought you were talking about the Bill O'Reilly.

[German]

More women out here.

[Shane Gillis]

What are you talking about? Why are you talking about killing Jesus?

[German]

Dude, I'm just saying. Hold on. I was just.

[Shane Gillis]

I'm not trying to be anti Semitic. Yes, but what you just said was up towards our earlier. Too soon. Well, and I understand the Jews, the third Temple, dude, all your.

[German]

Oh, I'm red hat is you. You're, you know, you've got a. You got a society. And then somebody's doing, you know, this.

[Gerb]

And.

[Shane Gillis]

And it's just like the women are

[German]

coming into this cult. Everybody's getting sick. And then they're outside the jail. You just go, all right, enough. Yeah, you know.

[Shane Gillis]

No, that is true, though. That's exactly. Actually what happened to Jesus was the Romans were like, all right. The Jews are going nuts.

[Bill]

Like, kill him.

[Shane Gillis]

And they're like, all right, dude, I don't get. I don't give a. What are you guys talking about? It's like a money far outpost and

[Gerb]

that's the story they told us, dude.

[Bill]

Yeah.

[Shane Gillis]

You know, the truth is not the truth. Obviously. I don't, you know, I would never dare to know the truth. But here, the historical books about it are very funny about Jesus when you think about like. So Drew's on Bill O'Reilly.

[Bill]

Yeah, killing Jesus.

[Shane Gillis]

It was Bill O'Reilly.

[Bill]

Bill O'Reilly had chat GBT before anyone just fired off 20 bucks killing.

[Shane Gillis]

But no, it was. It was like Jerusalem was. It was. During what holiday was it? It was a Jewish holiday, Passover. It was talking about like the last summer and stuff. Yeah, Passover, like Palm Sunday. So Jerusalem was just packed like 10 times more than it usually was. So it was like 150, 000 Jewish people. And there was like 50 breeds, like 50 Romans in a garrison. That's all they had. And it was already like. It was already a hotbed. Sure, the Jude, they were getting wild

[Bill]

over there, but the complaints.

[Shane Gillis]

And they were like, you need to kill him. And they're like, dude, if we don't kill this guy, they're gonna storm their garrison.

[German]

Interesting.

[Shane Gillis]

Yeah, it was. You guys 100.

[Gerb]

I get hit with a lot of

[Shane Gillis]

fake trailers, try to play ponches.

[Gerb]

I think they're doing passion too.

[Shane Gillis]

I've heard that. I've heard.

[Gerb]

But I got hit with so many things.

[Bill]

First the comeback, the resurrection.

[Gerb]

Yeah, dude, who the knows I got hit.

[Shane Gillis]

What's good?

[Gerb]

Yeah, that was embarrassing.

[Bill]

So he gets hit with fake.

[Shane Gillis]

I was just talking about Harry Potter. I was just walking around talking about JK wrongs. How it's. I mean it's not an original. People have covered this. But how based she is, how funny that is.

[Bill]

She hates.

[Shane Gillis]

We're just talking about the. The Gringotts. The bank. Oh yeah, she made goblins.

[Bill]

Everyone does.

[Shane Gillis]

Mitchell, just get on Twitter. Be like, yo, trans people need to shut the. Just like, yo, who is this like crazy?

[Gerb]

He's selling hard times. Dude, she crazy.

[German]

I don't think she's crazy.

[Shane Gillis]

No, she's not crazy at all. She's based, dude. She has book of $50 billion. She wrote the most popular book of all time. Yeah, she's like, yeah, she gets on Twitter like yo, shut the up lesbians. It's great she's going on.

[Bill]

I mean probably no one has told her what they're doing a long ass time. If you write all those movies. She's probably. I mean imagine what she said behind closed doors about chicks.

[Shane Gillis]

True.

[Bill]

Probably shouldn't have never heard before you

[Shane Gillis]

wanted to tweet about trans people. You know what that means? You're saying behind holy.

[Gerb]

It's like a. Or it's like wine.

[Shane Gillis]

Dude, she could be one.

[Gerb]

She's getting drunk online and hit that tweet. But thank God your parents don't do it.

[Bill]

Oh my God.

[Shane Gillis]

What would your parents be hitting?

[Urban]

Oh, hold on.

[Shane Gillis]

Let me tell you.

[Bill]

I see at sevens on everyone tune in.

[Shane Gillis]

I had a good feel conversation. I called Phil to be like, yo, you hyped about your boy, your boy going to war with Iran. You hyped about it. Because I knew his. I knew his take. I knew what it was going to be. He was like, oh yes, Shane, would you want to get blown up? And I was like, by who? He's like, iran, they can't have a nuke, Shane. And I was like, dude, I'm not going to get blown up. I might get blown up now. Now there could be a terrorist attack. He was like, yeah, because fucking that idiot before Trump let all those fucking terrorists into the country just every four years. You were rich back then.

[Bill]

We were doing really good. Yeah, that's what my parents are big. My mom's big on Jesse. My dad always tries to hit. Like I don't watch that shit. And then like I go. He calls me from Florida. He's like, what's the Fox News app. I was like, it's YouTube TV now, dude. You don't need the Fox News app. But how do I know what's on? I was like, it's live tv. It's just on an app, dude.

[Shane Gillis]

Think how good it must feel.

[Gerb]

What's that? I said I canceled the Fox one.

[Bill]

Oh, they kill you with everything, dude. They.

[Gerb]

They sneakily subscribe you to now.

[Shane Gillis]

It's literally cable.

[Gerb]

They're giving us.

[Shane Gillis]

Com. It's my dad getting $500 Comcast bills, dude. Now it's what it's for. It's ripping off old people.

[Gerb]

Prime does commercials now. Netflix is going to do commercials.

[Shane Gillis]

Oh, yeah.

[Gerb]

So it's going to be 18.99 regular Netflix. You get commercials. So, like, in the middle of your special, it'll be like, commercial.

[Shane Gillis]

No, I know that. I've had this discussion.

[Gerb]

25 bucks.

[Shane Gillis]

I had to have this discussion.

[Gerb]

What the is that, dude?

[Bill]

It's crazy. Knights of the Seven Kingdom tv.

[Shane Gillis]

I. I did. I said, you can't. I don't want to do it. Yeah, ever. And then they were like, well, we can have it, like, presented by a product. So it'd be like Gillette Beautiful Dogs presented by Dude Wipes. No, manscape.

[Gerb]

See, I do like native ads with your jokes about products.

[Bill]

You start doing stand up, like UFC fighters. Just everything all over your shirt.

[Shane Gillis]

Yeah, it's a hype. I should go out shirtless. Just in tight nuts. Yeah, they're just in a UFC outfit. Tiny penis sticking out. No cup, nub sticking out. Ufc.

[Bill]

Yeah, do that.

[Shane Gillis]

Dude, if they didn't, dude, you'd see it knuckled during a fight. Yeah, it's a small, tinier penis during a fight. Yeah, that is really small, bro.

[Bill]

Especially if you're clinched up like that. Then it kind of sucks in on

[Gerb]

itself for too long. Your dick's a nub.

[Shane Gillis]

Yeah, it's a minus. Inverted right now it's part of your fat. Yeah, it's part. Literally, my is hanging over my feet.

[German]

It feels like a clip.

[Shane Gillis]

Well, now I'm thinking about it.

[Bill]

I play Super Mario right now on a Super Nintendo. Cross legged like an autistic kid until my back hurts and then I get up, my dick's, like, inside my.

[Gerb]

Are you on the carpet?

[Bill]

No, I'm on a bed.

[Shane Gillis]

Damn, I wish you were on the carpet.

[Bill]

No, I can't do that.

[Shane Gillis]

I wish you hit the mom, Donnie. Dude, chill, dude.

[Bill]

Could get my dad pissed off talking about that. True mom, dummy. Dude, he's not your mayor.

[Gerb]

I didn't know the mayor of York had a giant house like that.

[Shane Gillis]

Yeah, that was crazy.

[Bill]

I didn't know the guys who bombed

[Gerb]

it that was like that.

[Shane Gillis]

What are we talking? You said, I was afraid to get into politics, but let's it. I brought it up. Let's do it.

[Gerb]

You said, where they turn into anime.

[German]

I regret saying it's like the liberal

[Shane Gillis]

psychologist or the Christ thing. Well, you shouldn't have said that.

[German]

Well, but that's fine.

[Shane Gillis]

I'm glad that weighed on your soul.

[German]

It did weigh on my soul, but not for the reasons that you want to wait. It was just, you know, go ahead.

[Shane Gillis]

Talking about killing Christ. No, I was just saying you said earlier, earlier in the podcast, he said, I understand why we killed Jesus.

[German]

No, I said, I. I said, if

[Gerb]

you cannot eat mom, dummy.

[Bill]

Oh, yeah, well.

[Shane Gillis]

Oh, yeah. G is Republic.

[German]

We're not. Hold on.

[Gerb]

You might see messages from headquarters.

[Shane Gillis]

G is a F. Square dances.

[Bill]

Ger is a Fox News. Probably every Jewish final form.

[Shane Gillis]

Fox News. Fox, Fox News Republican. Oh, well, it's funny. He took that. Not a woman.

[German]

But. No, what I was suggesting, you know, was that. Not.

[Shane Gillis]

Of course, you don't have to cover it. Yeah, it's fine. And also they already clipped it, so. Oh, great. Yeah, you're good. They're never gonna. They're never gonna. Well, he says he feels bad about when he said he understood why they killed Jesus.

[German]

Understand why? Why somebody would say we should kill this.

[Shane Gillis]

That's already being joke world.

[Gerb]

You're trying to say we were just breaking your balls. Okay, little ball boss.

[Shane Gillis]

Yeah, but they're not going to put this part in the clip. It's gonna be you doing that.

[German]

You just understand the concept of a nuisance. Yeah, a social nuisance.

[Gerb]

Jesus, dudes.

[German]

Oh, no. You know, not to say that Jesus, but my. You know, my general understanding of is that at the time there was also like a lot of messiahs air quotes that comes from.

[Shane Gillis]

This is what they teach you in. This is old Hebrew school. This is Hebrew.

[German]

I dug myself into a deep. There's only one tr.

[Bill]

God. And they chose you guys as the chosen ones.

[German]

I mean, good Lord, you know what it was we went to? Yeah, I'll tell you exactly what his trigger.

[Shane Gillis]

What did you do on Birthright? When he went, you went.

[German]

I didn't go.

[Shane Gillis]

No.

[Bill]

Nice get.

[German]

That's. That's tough.

[Bill]

I mean, dude, go on.

[Gerb]

He could have been swimming up in tel. Also homosexual chemical world.

[German]

Jewish necklace wear matters.

[Shane Gillis]

We got to chill.

[German]

Well, what's that?

[Shane Gillis]

Nothing.

[German]

Oh, but what was I gonna say, oh yeah, because we. We went to this animal expo and then like.

[Shane Gillis]

Oh yeah, I was walking by.

[German]

I didn't tell you this, right?

[Bill]

I walked by you that grabbed the cat.

[Shane Gillis]

No, no, it was just an old gal sick.

[German]

And some guy was like, oh, there goes that Jewish guy. So that's sort of like in my head that you. Yeah, yeah, yeah. To his friend.

[Shane Gillis]

What?

[German]

Yeah, it was just like a thing that.

[Shane Gillis]

I don't know.

[Gerb]

Did. You don't. Yeah. You don't like a day walker?

[Shane Gillis]

Yeah, not really.

[Gerb]

That you don't really like.

[German]

Well, I think it's just from the show or what?

[Shane Gillis]

You know, whatever.

[German]

No, not.

[Gerb]

It's not.

[Shane Gillis]

Not your bad.

[German]

I just. Is it then I play that.

[Bill]

No, they went to a cat expo.

[Shane Gillis]

We went to a cat. Yeah, animals. Went to a video. Cats, dude. I went to a judge and cats.

[Gerb]

Are you serious?

[Shane Gillis]

Like they took him out of a. Yeah, they put him on a table.

[Gerb]

Do that.

[Shane Gillis]

Yeah, you look at the cats now. This is like a.

[Gerb]

Like Blue Russians. This is nice.

[Shane Gillis]

It was sick. But this guy, this guy was walking by with his main coon. Apparently he lost because he was fired up. But yeah, watch this dude in the front row. He goes for it.

[Gerb]

You had to hit it.

[Shane Gillis]

He grabs his ball. Dude.

[German]

Holy.

[Shane Gillis]

The guy's like, you dude.

[Gerb]

Showcats. Never thought of that.

[Shane Gillis]

As soon as I heard about it, I was like, we gotta get there. Look at this dude. Holy big ass Maine coons. You gotta get.

[Gerb]

How come this isn't on tv? Like the dog.

[Bill]

No one cares.

[Shane Gillis]

Holy.

[Gerb]

That was great.

[Shane Gillis]

Yeah, it was. It was. It was a wonderful experience. I didn't know there was Jewish hate at the cad.

[German]

Who knows if it was hate?

[Gerb]

It was just like hell's every year.

[Bill]

It's every day anymore.

[Shane Gillis]

It doesn't stop.

[Gerb]

It doesn't stop.

[German]

But then if all.

[Shane Gillis]

But that super bowl ad really actually affected me and I stopped.

[Gerb]

Full start.

[Shane Gillis]

Couple. Couple brus. What you say? What you say about Jesus?

[German]

That is exactly what I was worried about getting.

[Bill]

No, the. The mom dummy thing. Where you guys.

[Shane Gillis]

Where's Sodor? The kid got bombed.

[Urban]

Yes.

[Bill]

Dude, what do you mean there's these two psychos.

[Shane Gillis]

Yeah, but that wasn't at mom dummy. There was.

[Bill]

That was at his house.

[Gerb]

I was at his house.

[Shane Gillis]

Oh, they were at. But I thought it was at the protesters at his house.

[Gerb]

No, no, over the protest.

[Shane Gillis]

No, it was over the pro immigrant protesters at the anti immigrant process.

[Gerb]

Oh, I thought it was at his house.

[Bill]

It was out in front of the script.

[Shane Gillis]

Sure. But it was at the protest. It was at the. It was at the Patriots.

[Gerb]

Whatever. But they're making cool anime like reels.

[Shane Gillis]

The animes are start work.

[Gerb]

Yeah, I like it.

[Bill]

But no, the kids who did it, they have. They live in like a five bedroom, four bath house in Bun County. It's nice as all that. That's crazy.

[Shane Gillis]

What happened?

[Bill]

Their house is crazy.

[Gerb]

The guy that threw the bomb. Yes, it always is like that.

[German]

Yeah.

[Shane Gillis]

Little Ouija guy.

[Gerb]

It's never broke. Guys doing political stuff, obviously, dude, they

[Bill]

can't get to New York. You'd have to give them GS.

[Gerb]

I always saw that. I was like, why aren't these guys at work?

[Shane Gillis]

You thought the Muslim terrorists were throwing

[Bill]

that at his house?

[German]

Yeah.

[Shane Gillis]

Oh, whatever. No, they. I think they were throwing it at a.

[Gerb]

Stuff goes in figure I make it up start.

[Shane Gillis]

I don't even know if he's a white nationalist. Yeah, I don't know anything.

[Bill]

Kind of just going with what I'm feeling lately.

[Shane Gillis]

I actually, I kind of agree with that make up. Yeah, I like it.

[Bill]

Disinfo's kind of.

[Shane Gillis]

I just keep telling people, I'm gonna open the Straight of Hormuz anytime someone's like, they're closing the straight and the oil is going, oh, yeah, I'm gonna open it. I'm going over there and I'm opening it. And they go, gas is gonna be 130 a barrel. No, it's not. Oil is 130 this week. Yeah. No, it's not.

[Gerb]

You gotta hit your dad with the trump. I do.

[Shane Gillis]

$40 now. Oh, yeah.

[Bill]

That's gonna be good.

[Gerb]

You gotta do that.

[Shane Gillis]

Oh, nice.

[Bill]

Start making Trump.

[Gerb]

They were doing the Biden.

[Shane Gillis]

I did that. Yeah.

[Bill]

I mean, dude, my dad was doing like. He was 16 years old.

[Shane Gillis]

The whole thing he was doing. Your dad was.

[Bill]

He got like 50 of them. It was amazing. Yeah, dude, they're in his whip. They're all over the place, on his dashboard, on his dash and his.

[Gerb]

We're on the little go kart.

[Shane Gillis]

Yeah.

[Bill]

On this go kart. On the dash on like the fuel, there's Biden point. I did that. You know how awesome that feels if you get this is making my gas expensive sticker. My dad said. He went by the. I mean, the funniest. It's amazing.

[Gerb]

You'll never feel like that.

[Shane Gillis]

I wish I had a side that like. I wish I could pick a side that large. I wish I could just buy in no matter what.

[Gerb]

When I ordered those white rabbits. That was great. I was on drugs.

[Bill]

My dad.

[Shane Gillis]

So good. It'd be so nice to be like, I'm right.

[Bill]

Oh, yeah, it feels good. They figured it out. The guy I listened to actually is right about this, believe me. But he went by the Ice protest or the no Kings or whatever. And it's all old people too. So, like, all the old people in Swarthmore are doing like, no Kings project.

[Shane Gillis]

Yeah, the no Kings was definitely for the geese.

[Bill]

My dad drives by in a Nissan Pathfinder that he got. It's a 98 Pathfinder he bought for like three GS. And he looks at all and just starts to get.08. You got an old one?

[Shane Gillis]

Oh, wow.

[German]

Yeah, he just.

[Bill]

He's like, I just went like this to him. Like, that's sick. Dude. They must have been pissed.

[Gerb]

Dude. We watched a great, like, little conspiracy reel where it was like, they got rid of all the cars. When they did Cash for Clunkers, all

[Shane Gillis]

that was to like, yeah, no, that's Cash for Kids. Cash for Kids,

[Gerb]

Pennsylvania.

[Shane Gillis]

What? Are you not allowed to know that?

[Bill]

No, I'm just saying, careful.

[Shane Gillis]

Are we allowed to know that Cash

[Gerb]

for Kids is nuts?

[Shane Gillis]

Nobody talks about Shane Oliviera.

[Matt McCusker]

Hold on.

[Shane Gillis]

Are we allowed to talk about Cash for Kids?

[Gerb]

Yeah, yeah.

[Shane Gillis]

Free cash card for Kids.

[Gerb]

That's good Central PA lore.

[Bill]

Yeah, yeah.

[Urban]

What?

[Shane Gillis]

Cars for Kids. Cash for Kids straight to Israel.

[German]

I'm unfamiliar.

[Shane Gillis]

Oh, yeah, sure.

[Gerb]

They had like a prison system thing going on.

[Bill]

I missed that.

[German]

I am unfamiliar.

[Bill]

No, the Cash for Clunker, they like. There was a good ass video about how they use it. Just get rid of every reliable whip.

[Gerb]

We had reached like such a peak in analog engines. Then they were like, no, digital ones with kill switches.

[Shane Gillis]

Yeah.

[Bill]

On Star.

[Gerb]

But how are we going to get rid of all these awesome cars?

[German]

Pull it off.

[Gerb]

But it was actually. We debunked it in real time. Only 680, 000 cars got cashed in. So it didn't really have an effect.

[Shane Gillis]

Yeah, that's not much.

[Bill]

Yeah, I debunked it. So it's Jury's still out.

[Matt McCusker]

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[Gerb]

Guys.

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[Shane Gillis]

That's good to be, right?

[Gerb]

I'm afraid of AI.

[Bill]

I don't trust it. I'm.

[Gerb]

I know. Like Joan that Jones, Duncan Trussle. That was very good. The beginning of that. That, you know, that's how we get plugged in the Matrix, dude. At the end of that, we're plugged

[Shane Gillis]

in, like, still don't give a. About AI. Video games aren't that good yet.

[Gerb]

No.

[Shane Gillis]

Once video games get real good, then I'll go, damn. AI is out of control, and AI

[Gerb]

can't even find your old fine.

[Shane Gillis]

Dude.

[Gerb]

Me and Bill are looking for an old meme.

[Shane Gillis]

I need better graphics.

[Bill]

Yeah, I'm trying to find a real.

[Gerb]

We're finding an old meme from, like, 2016.

[Bill]

Maybe it was 2011.

[Gerb]

No, it was when. Oh, it was. Yeah, it's old me, man.

[Bill]

It's a meme of George Bush.

[Shane Gillis]

I swear to God, I don't know what's happening.

[Bill]

What do you mean?

[Shane Gillis]

In conversation right now.

[Gerb]

I'm sorry.

[Urban]

Are we.

[Shane Gillis]

The last 10 minutes. No, I don't give a. It's probably funny. Probably funny. You talk about Cash Trust.

[German]

AI did come.

[Shane Gillis]

I did. Like that.

[German]

Yeah.

[Gerb]

There's a meme that we're looking for. So Billy's like, dude, Rogan's got perplexity. Get this. We're looking for this meme of.

[Shane Gillis]

We're talking about you name job Rogan.

[Urban]

Like that.

[Shane Gillis]

No, I was talking. My brother was on Rogan. Dude, I can get us in touch with perplexity. My brother did Rogan. Dude, I know Rogan Spade has 17.

[Bill]

Perplexity. And then I was like, dude, it's like all of them in one. Because he was using Grock and Grock is kind of ass.

[Gerb]

Yeah, Gro sucks.

[Bill]

And then he started using Perplexity. That's.

[Shane Gillis]

I. I'm investing in AI and defense contracts right now.

[Gerb]

But it's George Bush throwing the football.

[Shane Gillis]

AI,

[Bill]

You've definitely seen it. It's a meme of George Bush handing off a football.

[Shane Gillis]

Straight ahead. Lose is open. Dude, I just opened it. What?

[Bill]

It's a meme of George Bush handing a football off to Obama in a poppy field.

[Gerb]

In a poppy field.

[Bill]

And like Osama bin Laden's in the background.

[Gerb]

And there's also this. The skies, clouds.

[Shane Gillis]

Who made this?

[Bill]

It's an old meme. Oh, I'm like the king of me.

[Gerb]

But perplexity. It's fine.

[Shane Gillis]

Skinny pull ups, bro. Yeah, you look.

[Bill]

Pull ups over and over and over.

[Shane Gillis]

You look like a tier one operator.

[Gerb]

He's trying to do handstand push ups. Ten hands.

[Shane Gillis]

I know. I heard he does them.

[Gerb]

I can do eight push ups.

[Bill]

That's good.

[Shane Gillis]

Yo. Kirby's looked like a tier one operator today. Shredded. Went to the gun range.

[German]

That's right. We went to the gun range.

[Gerb]

He.

[Shane Gillis]

The whole time, I'm like, you're gonna love it. He never fired a gun. I was like, it's so sick. You're gonna love it. As soon as we get in there, a couple loud pops from down the range. He was like, oh, shit.

[German]

He called it an airstrike.

[Shane Gillis]

Yeah, he called it the cobble airstrikes.

[German]

Yeah.

[Shane Gillis]

He said, oh, God, they're in here.

[German]

Blow it up.

[Gerb]

I found them bombs without a siren.

[German]

Yeah, I cleared up. I didn't think I was going to

[Bill]

clam up and walks all with you, brother.

[Shane Gillis]

No. He sent some leaflets to the range first. He said, I'm going to blow this up tomorrow. So everyone clear out.

[Bill]

No, it is scary, dude. Go to the range.

[Shane Gillis]

It's like. It is, it is. It's very. Especially right when you get in there. Oh, yeah. Like the first, like five, ten minutes going in there, you're like, holy, I'm a dude. I'm so scared. And then our. Our. The guy giving us all the guns and showing us how to do everything was seemed like a tier one operator, dude. He's like, all right, this is what you do. You flip this, you slap this. Now you're good to go. Okay?

[German]

Yeah. Yeah. Yelled him. I said, I don't know what single thing you just said.

[Shane Gillis]

That's a machine gun. I'm like, so you got start over?

[German]

Yeah.

[Shane Gillis]

He's like, this is your workplace. All right? This is your workspace. Now you do this.

[Gerb]

Do they coach the coach you, though?

[German]

Like, Yeah, a little.

[Shane Gillis]

I. I think he was. I'll be honest, that guy was a little fast and loose. I liked him. He was.

[German]

But, yeah, I think it was the nature of our group. Yeah, I. I would have preferred potentially not, not, not. Not. You know, again, Throw Shade. He was the awesome.

[Shane Gillis]

He was the man. You were just as scared.

[German]

I was scared, so I think I wanted somebody to be like.

[Shane Gillis]

He started yelling at him while he's giving him the.

[Gerb]

You want somebody to hold the gun behind you?

[Shane Gillis]

Honestly, the first one, yes. Because he fired it. He fired one round. It had a silencer on it and no kick. It was literally the gun I have. Oh, it's literally just like, nothing. No, it's a. It's like a. It's a carbine that fires a 9 millimeter. So it's against your shoulder? Yes. So it doesn't move.

[German]

Dude.

[Gerb]

The shotgun, he fired at once. Backs wild.

[Shane Gillis]

He fired one round. It was just like, okay.

[Gerb]

And then.

[German]

Because he was. Then I was like, well, let me just do something.

[Shane Gillis]

This isn't for me.

[German]

Let me just do something, like, smaller with a handgun. So he had a Glock 9. I think that's what it's called.

[Shane Gillis]

Whatever the police handgun was, it's way worse than that.

[German]

Way worse. So he, like, fired it. And I. I was. I told you guys beforehand, but, like, I wasn't even expecting a shell to come out that fast. And it's just like the immediate violence, the noise, and then the shell coming out. I was like, no. Yeah.

[Shane Gillis]

Then he's just stood.

[German]

I just stood back. I tried to be a team player and take video, and I was just like.

[Bill]

I know.

[German]

I felt like it was a little ride that I wanted to get off of.

[Shane Gillis]

The best was just so. He's got. I. I thought it was the headphones, and then I realized you were actually screaming at the guy. I thought. I was like, maybe he thinks he's. He's talking. He's talking too loud because of the headphones. No, he was yelling. The guy was like, all right, you do this. Here you go. And he was like, I didn't understand anything. He said, you're going to have to start out.

[German]

No, no, I didn't say. I didn't say it like that, but I was like, yeah, I had a smile on my face, but then, so so then they wheeled in a. Yeah, belt. Belt loaded machine gun or belt fed machine gun. And even the guy that brought it in was like, this is a once in a lifetime thing to shoot.

[Gerb]

Oh, yeah. Yeah.

[German]

So then I watched everybody else do

[Gerb]

it, and I was like, 50 Cal.

[Shane Gillis]

No, no, but it was. It was sick. Yeah. But gervies. It was nice to watch gervies muster the courage. And he did it. He fired one bullet. He fired one bullet from the first gun.

[Urban]

Yeah.

[Shane Gillis]

And then stood in the back the entire time. I was like, this just could have stayed a.

[Gerb]

The whole time.

[Shane Gillis]

And then a machine gun came out and he did it. It was pretty sick.

[German]

That's awesome.

[Shane Gillis]

Proud of you, G. Thanks, dude. And how about that adrenaline?

[German]

That's why I said, like, the moment I came off that I was like, yeah.

[Shane Gillis]

You're like, where's the schools? I know they're under the hospitals.

[Gerb]

Sad.

[German]

What is this

[Shane Gillis]

gonna be? Easy. It's a layup. Bring a Jewish guy to a gun range, start shooting the floor. Oh, you know, the target's right there. He's like, well, there's other targets. There's some.

[German]

I hate to say it. What? But great. You know, another Jewish lady, if all she did shoot the seal.

[Shane Gillis]

Oh, she was hitting everything. Especially before we go in, she's like, I'm good at everything. I'm such a good shoot. Like a shot.

[Gerb]

Yeah.

[Shane Gillis]

She gets in there, hits the wall. And they're like, dude, you cannot hit the wall. The tray ricochets. You cannot help, dude.

[Gerb]

The one time his brother took me, like, dude, this is gonna be awesome. We rolled in. There was a guy on a date. It was like a snow bunny Black Panther party situation. And I was like, yo, I. I was like, scared. This guy had, like, dreads down here, and he was like waving like a AR15 type thing around. This is at 8th and Spring Garden, inner city.

[Shane Gillis]

In a small room, I think domed

[Bill]

someone in Covid, dude.

[Gerb]

And I was like, we all have bullets.

[Shane Gillis]

Oh, wait, that guy killed someone?

[Bill]

Yeah, they tried to break into his spot. I think it's that one or more in that area. They come in and just sitting there, dude, like,

[Shane Gillis]

he's like, oh, this is.

[Bill]

Finally it pops.

[Shane Gillis]

Dudes die. That guy's the man.

[Bill]

Yeah. Sand your ground.

[Shane Gillis]

Also.

[Gerb]

There's nothing all your whole life for that moment.

[Shane Gillis]

Nothing makes me happier than seeing black dudes and white dudes together at the range. Dude.

[Gerb]

I was scared, though.

[Shane Gillis]

I was like, yo, word. This is it. 2A boys getting together.

[Gerb]

I didn't realize it Was so expensive though. The ammo is wild.

[Bill]

A lot of money.

[German]

They treated us really good.

[Shane Gillis]

That was awesome. Oh yeah, that place is awesome. But yeah, Kirby's.

[German]

Are you gonna purchase at some point? Yeah, I'm gonna go back. I'm gonna shoot the Glock 9 like that. I.

[Shane Gillis]

That's fun to shoot.

[German]

Yeah, that was one that after the machine gun that felt like I got my cherry popped.

[Gerb]

Enough bonds gun. PB7. Yeah, the PB7, dude.

[Shane Gillis]

Yeah. Oh, you see that's golden eyed, bro. This is what I'll say about that.

[Gerb]

Thompson will get his answer.

[German]

That you'll be the next second of

[Shane Gillis]

a smile piece of.

[Gerb]

Look at him in a tux.

[Bill]

You should go outside instead though. I feel like that would calm me down.

[Shane Gillis]

That's what I was saying. Outdoor gun Rangers are a lot better.

[German]

Okay. But that gun range was cool. And they had like. They had this. Yeah, that was smoking section. It was like warehouse.

[Shane Gillis]

Yeah.

[German]

I want to see gigantic fireplace.

[Shane Gillis]

Easily the best indoor range I've ever seen. Yeah, yeah.

[Gerb]

You know like that thing where they have mainline armor.

[Shane Gillis]

Yeah, yeah.

[Bill]

Keanu Reeves it. Yeah, he's nasty. Shane did that.

[Gerb]

Dude, John Wick.

[Shane Gillis]

Yeah, I go there.

[Gerb]

If John Wick was one movie, all four movies. If that was one movie, it'd be the best movie ever.

[Bill]

Yeah, I agree. The white John Wick's like a Dodge Challenger commercial.

[Gerb]

Watch them all at one. Like all at once, one night. And I was like, dude, I wish that was just one movie.

[Shane Gillis]

The first John Wick I just watched randomly. Like no one was talking about. It was like right when it came out and I was sitting there watching, I was like, let's see this piece of movie. Keanu Reeves action movie dog. Halfway through, I was like, this might be the best movie I've ever seen.

[German]

I haven't seen it.

[Shane Gillis]

I watched it tonight. It was when I lived in contract and then I brought Matt over and I was like, bro, check this out. Wait till you see this.

[Gerb]

Early wish.

[Shane Gillis]

Yeah, he saw it with me like immediately. And then you're lucky. And then he was like, sucks. And I was like, I swear to God, it's all. I watch it like five times. I was like just getting bros over going, dude, wait, do you see this?

[Gerb]

That indie flick I sent you?

[Shane Gillis]

Is it really humiliated Animal?

[Bill]

Animal Kingdom.

[Gerb]

Animal Kingdom, dude, it's star studded. And it's real. It's like a quiet like fucking gangster movie. It's nice. Australian Gangster.

[Matt McCusker]

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[Gerb]

Australia's crime family. Nice.

[Shane Gillis]

I got one for you. You're gonna like this. Kirby's has a new theory he just hit me with. Do you think we're like Fight Club or something?

[German]

That's right.

[Shane Gillis]

Yeah.

[German]

That, like, I'm his Tyler Durden.

[Shane Gillis]

He thinks he's Tyler Durden.

[German]

Well, then on his Tyler Durden, he

[Shane Gillis]

thinks he's Brad Pitt.

[Gerb]

All right, hold on. I gotta. I gotta, like, actually graph this for a minute.

[Shane Gillis]

Yeah, you gotta wait till you hear this.

[Bill]

You're the dude.

[Gerb]

You're Ed Norton. No, you're at Norton.

[German]

It's just the reverse.

[Gerb]

Whoa.

[Shane Gillis]

Yes. Whoa, dude.

[German]

Yes. That's one of the things. All the things that he represses.

[Shane Gillis]

He thinks I'm repressing.

[German]

Let's just get our clothes tailored.

[Gerb]

But gerb.

[German]

Let's get hair gerbs.

[Gerb]

Listen, so Shane is the guy looking at.

[Shane Gillis]

We're not getting hair. So Shane's wearing hats until we're bald. Just right.

[Gerb]

So you're Saying Shane's the guy that's looking at the NPC IKEA catalog, not knowing what's. No, no, no, no. But you're the guy that's living in a house with Bellatrix Lestrade.

[German]

Yeah, basically, I'm like, those would be the characters. But he's not looking at IKEA catalogs. He's, like, watching football and all that stuff.

[Shane Gillis]

Right.

[Bill]

Meanwhile, so you've got me on a

[German]

plane and I'm going to. That shirt would look a lot better if you got it tailored. And he's like this and the other.

[Gerb]

You're James Bond, bro.

[Bill]

The guy who just had a panic attack at the gun range.

[Shane Gillis]

Damn it.

[German]

That's it. He's got a puff.

[Bill]

So he thinks Chester's gonna implode.

[Gerb]

Don't be meatloaf.

[Shane Gillis]

He thinks I'm repressing things because he says stuff like, oh, Jolene's is the cutest date spot in the West. Don't say cutest exactly.

[German]

I say cute. It's a cute.

[Shane Gillis]

Somebody will be like, what about this bar? He goes, oh, that's such a cute date spot. I heard him say that. And I said, no.

[German]

Why are you doing that with your.

[Shane Gillis]

Shut the up.

[Gerb]

Because we're straight.

[Shane Gillis]

Yeah, we're all straight. You don't say a cute date.

[German]

Hey, Siri, what does the word cute mean, bro?

[Shane Gillis]

I think you're gonna be.

[Gerb]

This is so Jewish.

[German]

Appealing in a pretty. Dang it.

[Shane Gillis]

Who uses K? I'll read it.

[German]

It's gotta stop. Don't got your cheaters listening to me.

[Shane Gillis]

Still listen to me. Still listening to me.

[German]

It was like I'm peeling in a pretty or something.

[Bill]

Yeah, you say like babe and. Which makes me uncomfortable.

[Shane Gillis]

Sexy.

[Bill]

Yeah, babe. That. That kind of saying.

[Gerb]

Babe to dudes?

[Bill]

To girls.

[Shane Gillis]

No.

[Gerb]

Well, I mean, I don't know if you're like a Chad James.

[Matt McCusker]

Fine.

[Shane Gillis]

Yeah, still true.

[German]

I'm sorry it makes you uncomfortable

[Matt McCusker]

because

[Gerb]

you're like, bro, this dude's got this kind in your head. I wish I could drop that. Yeah. You know what I mean?

[German]

Drop of that.

[Bill]

Oh, yeah, machismo. He's trying to wear cowboy hats and cowboy boots.

[Shane Gillis]

He does.

[Gerb]

Are you for real?

[Shane Gillis]

He works out in a cowboy hat and a wife beater in his gym.

[Bill]

I only know one other guy that does that.

[German]

Are you the kid?

[Gerb]

Magic Mike.

[Shane Gillis]

He listens to shabuzzi while he does it.

[Gerb]

I don't know.

[Shane Gillis]

Someone blew me up a double shadow whiz and he does. But he can rip pull ups. Yeah, I mean, you're exact dude, you want to be?

[Gerb]

Do you want to be a millionaire?

[Shane Gillis]

He is a millionaire.

[German]

You are. Shane kind of puts me over that.

[Shane Gillis]

Reels of that damn push you over the edge. How are you doing,

[German]

dude?

[Gerb]

Reels of him in cowboy gear doing pull ups would be great.

[Bill]

There's only one other dude I know who wears a cowboy hat and works out.

[German]

Hold on.

[Bill]

It's.

[German]

I don't do it all the time.

[Gerb]

And you did it once. Insane.

[Shane Gillis]

It's insane.

[German]

It's crazy.

[Shane Gillis]

Hold on.

[German]

I don't care.

[Shane Gillis]

I'm not trying to attack you. I swear to God. No, I don't want to attack you because I don't want to attack.

[Gerb]

I'm never gonna get over this. Tyler. Dur.

[Shane Gillis]

I know. I was hoping. I was so excited, but you guys are the only.

[Bill]

Look, you're Goose on Maverick.

[Shane Gillis]

No, you guys.

[Gerb]

Dude, I'm Maverick, bro. You're too big.

[Shane Gillis]

You two are literally the only ones other than me that'll go. Gervin, that's nuts. He, he, he and him are always around people that are a part of our show. So we have theater people. No, not necessarily yes men, but just theater people. So, like, he'll be like, express. Well, it was a cute little date spot. And I'm like, yeah, that's gay. You call it cute? And they're like, he's a whole. Look at like a lady that works there and be like, I don't think it's weird to say cute dates, but they're always like, dude, I look right

[German]

at you and I go, it's cute. What are you gonna do about it?

[Gerb]

Just how guys talking about tire shops.

[Shane Gillis]

He's done it again.

[Bill]

When you went on Schultz's podcast, you're like, dude, the hardest thing to do is sing in front of your boys. And they all burst it out singing in harmony.

[Shane Gillis]

I was like, okay, my boy will do it.

[Bill]

You'll sing.

[German]

No, I.

[Shane Gillis]

He wouldn't play the tape back.

[German]

I tried really hard not to sing there. I said, guys, you can't.

[Shane Gillis]

You know, in that scenario, you would enjoy. Yeah, yeah, it was. I admit, in that scenario, it was pretty fun.

[German]

Well, I tried not to do it.

[Shane Gillis]

Nothing wrong with saying okay,

[German]

but you

[Shane Gillis]

got to what you do. There's so much about German you need to know.

[Gerb]

I mean, dude, we used to have the same.

[Shane Gillis]

Got to hear his music in his car.

[Gerb]

We used to have to sing for church.

[German]

Does it matter? What? Listen, everybody.

[Shane Gillis]

No, it's fun. I like it. Yeah. I thought everybody go with Pirates of the Caribbean, but like, that's the least gay thing, like a score or.

[Gerb]

Yeah, that's cool.

[Bill]

Yeah.

[Shane Gillis]

No, no, he's gonna hit Flow Rider. He's gonna hit, bro. It's like, devastating.

[Gerb]

Are you YouTube Music or Spotify?

[German]

Spotify.

[Gerb]

Let me say.

[Shane Gillis]

No, you're not it.

[German]

Because I.

[Gerb]

Show me who you are.

[German]

Oh.

[Shane Gillis]

Because I like.

[German]

I. I'm a real loosey goosey with the likes. What's that on loosey goosey with the likes?

[Shane Gillis]

Yeah.

[Gerb]

Do you make playlists, though?

[German]

Do I make playlists? So that's a yes.

[Shane Gillis]

Of course. It's not all making playlists. So you don't even know what's gay or not at this point. It's all blurred together. Hold on. Don't point at me, dude. No, I'll point at you because.

[German]

Yeah, see, you understand.

[Shane Gillis]

I feel like a senator gets yelled at by one match.

[Gerb]

There's just one man having an argument with himself. There is no Tyler.

[German]

This is the sex point.

[Shane Gillis]

I know. I'm gonna have two more beers. You guys are gonna be gone. I'm gonna be down here in the dark. I made that whole thing up. I'm still my beard.

[German]

Googling outfits and stuff.

[Shane Gillis]

You think I'm googling outfits?

[German]

Probably. It's probably happened. You probably.

[Bill]

Terrence Howard. PB Day.

[Shane Gillis]

No.

[Bill]

Spade sent me the clip of Terrence Howard talking to PB Day, and he was like, like, dude, it's just up like, and. And Game of Thrones. Seriously? And the dude started having sex and, like, everyone just started searching, like, incest porn and stuff. It was like, really?

[Shane Gillis]

That was just you, bro.

[Bill]

You started searching incest porn?

[Shane Gillis]

Well, incest Born rocks, but are you looking up outfits?

[Gerb]

You're making me want to rewatch Cycloud.

[German]

So we. We had a development, like a size development in my.

[Shane Gillis]

Oh, yeah.

[Gerb]

Size of them.

[Shane Gillis]

My mom. My boys are large.

[Urban]

Yeah.

[German]

Yeah.

[Bill]

So I.

[German]

The. The shirt that I'm wearing this season.

[Shane Gillis]

No German is Jack.

[German]

I still have like, that tiny, tiny frame. But I was like, I. I did whatever.

[Gerb]

The truth is, you're not looks maxing. You're not life maxing, and then you're nothing. So there's that.

[German]

Well, you know. Well, so I like to.

[Shane Gillis]

Spud. Spud versus Gervagen. The. The meeting of the minds. This is a battle. Spud versus German. The two most different people I've ever met. I think we combined iq. Different. Different versions of. You're not autistic. I'm sorry. I can see you're the most visible.

[German]

No, even. You know what? I was. I was I was still clocking you. You're way smarter than I. I knew that.

[Shane Gillis]

I saw your face on the 160 IQ and I felt bad because I don't think you're dumb. He said it, obviously.

[German]

I think I'm done.

[Shane Gillis]

Lately you've been saying it a lot, and I don't think you're dumb.

[Gerb]

Well, you've been saying pretty. You've been saying you are dumb yourself.

[German]

Yeah, I think I'm smart in, like, certain ways that matter. But not. Not book smart.

[Gerb]

What is your area of intelligence?

[German]

Like, social.

[Shane Gillis]

I think you're very good at communicating. Yeah. Yeah. You're not afraid to. You're not afraid to tell. You tell people exactly how you feel in a. In a dumb brute? No, you're smart. You just. I'm surprised it took you so long to find out you were dumb, though. Yeah, I hit that in, like, I was probably 20. High school, you know? I mean. No, no, I think I. No, I waited. I was probably like, 30.

[Gerb]

We're like, we're not accepted at any college.

[German]

You think, like, what, I can figure this out and there's an answer to be had and, like, I'll just figure it out.

[Shane Gillis]

Yeah, I think it's just getting older. You go, actually, I don't know anything, right? I mean, nothing's gonna solve. Nothing's gonna ever be fixed. Whatever, dude. I'm so it. I'll get some beers and be racist.

[Bill]

I'm so, like, sitting in my house, like, probably like 20, 21. And I was like, I can wake up whenever I want, go to sleep whenever I want. I don't even have to check in with anything with my mom, and I

[Shane Gillis]

just went to sleep.

[Bill]

When I was in high school, dude, it was like phase two, the dumbest classes. I was a senior. I had freshman in my classes. Like, yeah, whatever.

[German]

It's like, yeah, whatever.

[Shane Gillis]

It's like, you dumb as.

[Bill]

Yeah, yeah. Not even try to hide that school.

[Shane Gillis]

You're smart.

[Gerb]

That must have been nuts for the freshmen that are like, that guy's a senior.

[Bill]

Oh, yeah.

[Shane Gillis]

And Billy was huge. It was like, think of a freshman the same size.

[Bill]

You'd be like, I was like, 208, dude.

[Shane Gillis]

Think of being a freshman and being in the class like him or. Yeah, dude, you know what?

[Gerb]

Me up.

[Bill]

Hi, dudes.

[Shane Gillis]

You know what?

[Gerb]

Yeah. We used to break our teacher's balls into oblivion, dude. And they're all like, my age now.

[Shane Gillis]

Yeah.

[Gerb]

Or younger.

[Shane Gillis]

Oh, yeah.

[Gerb]

Which is nuts because, like, 17 year olds are psyopping them into, like, walking out in the hallway and like taking breathers. Yeah, it's nuts.

[Shane Gillis]

I get it, dude. I had a teacher. I went to a pizza shop this week and there's like five teenagers in there. They're like, yo, can we. It's like a couple of them were black. It was black teens. And they were, they were, they were nice fellas. Just paint a picture. As soon as I walked in, I was like, oh, God. And then they're like, yo, can we get a picture? Take like pictures. And then they all sat down and started laughing. Yeah. And I was just sitting there waiting for my pie.

[Bill]

Oh, brutal.

[Shane Gillis]

I think they're making fun of me. They're literally making fun of me after they just asked for pictures. Gotta be mocked.

[Bill]

Yeah, There was like, it was, it was math where the young kids were. So they were like super smart freshmen in my math classes.

[Shane Gillis]

Yeah, sure. But like, I mean, the freshmen were geniuses.

[Bill]

I mean, seriously low phase algebra.

[Gerb]

Oh, you're killing me with this.

[German]

This is like a Tyler turd.

[Shane Gillis]

You are. I mean, Tyler, dude.

[Bill]

I mean, dude, I. I thought I was stoned. Like I wouldn't do.

[German]

Eighth graders.

[Shane Gillis]

Must be.

[Gerb]

Maybe they're algebra too. Maybe, dude.

[Bill]

Now by that time we were in geometry, brother. I would up geometry.

[Shane Gillis]

But you're not dumb at all.

[Bill]

I know, I just suck at math.

[Shane Gillis]

And I would math myself to study. Yeah, they would tell me, well, that toss you in the eighth grade class.

[Bill]

Oh, phase one. No, freshman year, there's for some reason

[Shane Gillis]

you're getting like defensive.

[Bill]

No, I'm trying to explain to you the situation.

[Shane Gillis]

I'm trying to explain to you this situation.

[Bill]

Freshman year, there was a phase one

[German]

senior.

[Shane Gillis]

It was tough.

[Bill]

My one boy. My one boy was dumb as with me. And then he got on Adderall, started passing everything. Dude, my. Me and my one boy were like 65 70s. Every class or every test this gets on aderall starts getting 85 lives. I was like, bro, how you figuring this out?

[Shane Gillis]

He.

[Bill]

I'm studying.

[Shane Gillis]

He like, how do you have that? I would go home, look at this and be like, oh, man, Bill, you are the funniest. I'm not getting offensive. Trying to explain to you situation.

[Bill]

I'm trying to literally show you how stupid this was. I was in phase one. They get rid of it freshman year.

[German]

Cuz it's a college.

[Shane Gillis]

That's what you're talking about?

[German]

What you say? Everyone knows what face wanted. I'm sorry.

[Shane Gillis]

Surrounded by geniuses.

[Bill]

My ass is in the jackpot. I had have a 2 7.

[Shane Gillis]

He loves my asses in the jackpot, I think, right. Of all time. Did you put it in season two?

[German]

I don't know if it made it.

[Shane Gillis]

He's. He, like, saw that clip. It was like, I need to say my ass is in the jackpot.

[Bill]

Yeah, that's nice.

[Shane Gillis]

He said it like five. He said it like five. Five different scenes.

[Bill]

She's a new slant, new slang. I like that.

[Shane Gillis]

Oh, man.

[German]

I was so bad at math when I went to Drexel that the math class that I was in, if you're

[Bill]

that bad at math, you don't go to Drexel, bro. Yeah, you go to Delaware County Community College and get presidents lists because it's the third time you took out for one.

[Shane Gillis]

I'll tell you what. I failed statistics in college, dude, three times. And then I'm talking at three different universities. Finally, I hit Harrisburg area Community College.

[Bill]

I was like, make some changes on African dudes. They have no idea what's going on. Like, dude, Y equals mx. It's simple.

[Shane Gillis]

Community college rules. Check your work.

[German]

Oh, it's the.

[Shane Gillis]

I took. I took American Civil War. Our. Our teacher was a Gettysburg tour guide. It was me and Harrisburg area Community College students. I was the only dude who gave a. And I knew a lot about it already. This guy was like, shane, thank you. Yes. No one else was paying attention. I'd be like, that was. That was General Mead, right? He'd be like, it was me. I think you're a YouTube channel. I've been here for 10 years. You're the first guy to. It was. He's like, wow. Anyway, we're gonna have a good day, guys.

[Bill]

Did I ever tell you about. At my last semester at temple when I screenshotted the wrong week?

[Shane Gillis]

Yes, dude.

[Gerb]

This is great, dude.

[Bill]

I was at temple and I was taking.

[Gerb]

Literally just like, when I went to

[German]

school on 9 11.

[Gerb]

Is this senior year?

[Bill]

No, this is, like, my second. Or I would. I went to Temple my sophomore and junior year, but I was taking three classes a semester because I was like, bro, you can take three classes. No one gives a right. Not realizing you gotta, like, take all of them to get out of college. I took a screenshot of my class or my semester after spring break, but we were off MLK Day, so I had physics, construction safety class, and some other things on Monday, Physics lab. So I was going to physics. I screenshot this. I don't know. I thought, I'm off Mondays. I was chilling Sundays. I was like, dude, we can do whatever the we want out of school.

[Shane Gillis]

I Go in, dude.

[German]

Still past it.

[Shane Gillis]

Still passed it, by the way.

[Bill]

Dude. So I went for a month and I'm in physics and they're talking about. Well, during the lab we went over this and I had. I thought the lab was something people are going to are into physics.

[Urban]

Yeah.

[Bill]

Literally no clue. And then I finally realized that I've been missing my Mondays for a month.

[German]

So all the Monday labs.

[Shane Gillis]

Yes.

[Bill]

And my construction safety class. I rolled into my construction safety class after a month of not being there. Was literally like, I didn't know I had this class and the chick let me in. I passed that. But physics, I got a 46 on the test.

[German]

Literally. Beetlejuice.

[Urban]

Shit.

[Bill]

I came in, I came in. I was trying to find that Green Bay packers jersey you bought. I was gonna wear it.

[Gerb]

I don't know where it is.

[Shane Gillis]

Oh, oh, you got a Reggie.

[German]

What?

[Shane Gillis]

Yeah,

[Bill]

I went to the. I went to the bill.

[Shane Gillis]

The way you're talking, it's just matter of fact. Good, dude.

[Bill]

Yeah. So I went to that. What is like sine waves and sine cosine, Cosine.

[Shane Gillis]

What is that?

[Bill]

What's that?

[German]

I think they're way amplitude.

[Bill]

What's the type of math that is?

[Gerb]

Trigonometry trip?

[German]

I have no idea.

[Bill]

Go into my trip class, get a 46. Dude. I was like, what's.

[Shane Gillis]

What's the bell curve?

[Bill]

Cuz I thought we'd all pass because everyone failed it.

[Shane Gillis]

No one failed it.

[Bill]

And then I shuff up, the dude is in class. Like, today is the last day of the AD drop. I was like, for the AD drop? Do you have to pay for it if you drop the class this day? He's like, no, you don't. That's in two weeks. If you don't go out in two weeks, then you have to do it. I literally was like, all right, guys. Got my book bag left. College.

[German]

Wow.

[Shane Gillis]

Oh, dude.

[Bill]

I was like, this is a situation. Like there's no way I'm passing this.

[Shane Gillis]

I can't look. I'm not.

[Bill]

Engineering is the construction management.

[Gerb]

I'm not making fun of you. I did the same thing with calculus. I took calculus. Yeah.

[German]

Two times.

[Gerb]

And I got 33.

[Bill]

Yeah.

[Shane Gillis]

The way I filled out of Elon was hilarious, dude. I did. After I quit football, I just stopped going to class. I just drank in a house.

[Bill]

Were you not going to class at all?

[Shane Gillis]

Like, so you're a skipping class? One or two a week. That's what I did. Yeah. And then went home for Christmas break. And they were like, you're Expelled. Oh, I gotta tell my parents while I was over Christmas break, like I'm not going back. I. I didn't know I was getting kicked out either. I had all my shit in North Carolina. Yeah, I mean it was.

[Bill]

I was in a.

[Shane Gillis]

It was dark, dude. I was. Oh, my parents basement.

[Bill]

Crying?

[German]

Sure.

[Shane Gillis]

Yeah.

[Bill]

I was like. Mine's way more jovial than that. We like went. I was working at a trash incinerator that we had to cover with clean fill. So we picked all the trash out, got rid of it, covered it with these like all these rocks. But we could only have like a certain size stone. So my dad was like, dude, just pick any of the big rocks out. And this place is like a football field of just rocks. So I'm just sitting there looking down, grabbing. My uncle rolls up in a trash truck and he's like, what the are you doing? I was like, dude, my mom wants me to go to college. Like just quit. Okay. So then I quit and started driving trash trucks.

[Shane Gillis]

Nice. I didn't have any sports.

[German]

I went to George Washington and fell out of that. Then went to Delco. Yeah, filled out of that.

[Gerb]

Yeah. I was watching for six and then

[German]

I finished the Drexel.

[Shane Gillis]

You.

[Bill]

Hey, how'd you get into Drexel if you filled out Delaware County?

[German]

Because the guy that ran the screenwriting program had like tried to get me because I like wrote a script my senior year when I was in high school.

[Shane Gillis]

Tires.

[Bill]

Wasn't Tires.

[Shane Gillis]

You wrote that at Drexel though, right? Yeah, yeah, yeah.

[German]

That was like my senior project.

[Shane Gillis]

Yeah,

[German]

Well, I did graduate Drexel.

[Shane Gillis]

Oh, you did?

[German]

Yeah, yeah.

[Shane Gillis]

Oh, I thought you're dumb as well.

[German]

I filled out George Washington and then Delaware County Community College.

[Bill]

George Washington's hard to get into, isn't it?

[German]

Yeah, yeah.

[Gerb]

Drexel's not. So he's not dominant.

[Shane Gillis]

Yeah, Nobody failed out without drinking. Really?

[Bill]

Oh, there's other things.

[Shane Gillis]

When I was. He failed out without. Because I was missing class.

[German]

Same thing. Like I. After I fell out, I was living at my parents house. So I did go to like every class at the Delaware County Community College.

[Shane Gillis]

No, when I went to community college, I locked in after West Point. After Elon. Yeah. Two years later I'm at community college next to the farm show complex in Harrisburg.

[German]

I had a Duke or Bottom.

[Shane Gillis]

Mine was. No, no way.

[Bill]

Delaware county, that was a college. I was in heaven. You could smoke on campus and so like me and all the kids just go out in between classes, rip butts, go to McDonald's.

[Gerb]

I love how, like, your gradient of, like, how sick is. Is what you're allowed to do.

[Shane Gillis]

Yeah.

[Bill]

I'm not meant to be in school.

[Gerb]

I want.

[Shane Gillis]

I can't even imagine.

[German]

We're allowed to smoke.

[Shane Gillis]

Yeah. Can you imagine if you had to go to school? If I had. Like, if I. If my job tomorrow was to go to meetings from 7am to 3pm Think about. You'd have to. The only thing.

[German]

Chair hemorrhoids. Like, forget it.

[Gerb]

Jesus.

[Shane Gillis]

The hemorrhoids. That would definitely suck.

[German]

Yeah.

[Gerb]

Are they permanent?

[German]

Yeah. If I sit long enough. I don't know. I got a weird thing going on, but it's like. Yeah. Sitting on a plastic chair for that many hours, just listening to stuff you couldn't care less about.

[Bill]

Yeah. Yeah. I mean, if you're like, my life is teaching. I mean, obviously, there's some good ones, but loss is behind the.

[Shane Gillis]

That lost. If you're.

[Bill]

I'm just saying.

[Gerb]

Pop the brakes.

[Bill]

I'm just saying, like, we're on a big podcast. Obviously, it's good teachers, but there's some that. It's like, all right, bro.

[Shane Gillis]

My mom's a teacher. She's a good teacher.

[German]

Hello.

[Bill]

While I was in school, one of the teachers got busted for having sex with the kids. Few of them, actually.

[Shane Gillis]

One, I moved all boys school.

[Gerb]

Yeah.

[Bill]

One, I. It was like prison. One, I moved her into her house, but I was. I wasn't picking up on anything that was going on.

[Gerb]

Yes. Urban.

[German]

Yes. Well, it's just. Just. Just. Yeah.

[Shane Gillis]

Yeah. Two to me.

[Bill]

Yeah.

[German]

I'm not getting ready. We're almost done.

[Shane Gillis]

You don't have to be in tomorrow.

[Urban]

Right.

[Shane Gillis]

But that doesn't mean I'm gonna get ready. No, no, no. I was just asking.

[Bill]

Oh.

[Shane Gillis]

I was gonna go in. I know tomorrow's early. Yeah, I'm gonna go in pretty late.

[Bill]

Supposedly, the one teacher was banging the kid, and she was, like, trying to be cool with all the kids in the class, and she was buying a beer, and. And then she started talking to the one kid in class, and he was like, I'll be right back. Went to the principal's office.

[German]

Yeah.

[Bill]

She's having sex with one of the stickers. Got her booted. Legendary.

[Shane Gillis]

Yeah.

[Bill]

Oh, man. She's a bill.

[Shane Gillis]

I could listen to you talk about school, bro. It is so fun. You. Honestly, you are Phil Gillis. You are the exact same dude. Like, the way he talks is. I. I go in there. I go, what the is this? I got a 46. I thought there was a Belker. I paid on a Belker. You know, research papers. Yeah, but there's like.

[Bill]

I think five was my all time max. I did write a paper in temple that was awesome.

[Gerb]

How many pages?

[Bill]

And it was five. And it was porn. The libido killer. And I had a whole paper on or. Dude gave me an A plus.

[Shane Gillis]

He was cool.

[Gerb]

That's manosphere.

[Shane Gillis]

Yeah.

[Gerb]

Tangential.

[Bill]

And then. Yeah. In high school, we had to write, like, a research paper. I chose Alphonse Capone.

[Shane Gillis]

The worst.

[Bill]

And I just paid kids to do it. And the teacher just like, all right, man.

[Shane Gillis]

Classic.

[Bill]

Wrote, this is obviously one of my.

[Gerb]

Seriously?

[Shane Gillis]

You were like, dude, I. I am.

[Gerb]

I got busted with that.

[Shane Gillis]

Yeah.

[Bill]

My boy Shaw wrote it. Shout out, y'.

[Shane Gillis]

All.

[Gerb]

I didn't pay anybody, but I took my roommate's paper from the year before and just handed it to the same teacher. And she was like, you think I don't know. You don't think. I don't remember, Kevin.

[Shane Gillis]

I was like, I should have taken this day off.

[Bill]

The real about being stupid is being too stupid to cheat. Because a lot of the smart kids can cheat. And I would be like, there's, like, a higher echelon.

[Shane Gillis]

Yeah, there's sort of cheating. Yeah.

[Bill]

That's all it is.

[Gerb]

Super Top is all cheating.

[Bill]

All my boys that were in, like, AP were cheating their balls off. And I was like, how.

[Shane Gillis]

I. I've told this before, but I cheated a lot. And how do you cheat, though?

[Gerb]

You get people to write your.

[Shane Gillis]

Or. Yeah. No, like, we had a. Yeah. He would give us the same test. So the class before this girl would just give me her calculator, and I would just. I'd get, like a hundred. 100 on everything.

[Gerb]

That's.

[Shane Gillis]

And then I was a recruiting visit for football. So I missed your test day. And then he was like, here's the makeup test. And it was, like, four. Just four problems. That was it. Because he, like, he loved the football team. And he was trying to. He was like, come on, bro. I got you. I couldn't. I couldn't. I didn't know one, Red. I didn't know one. I wrote three for every single answer and just handed it back to him. And I was like, I. I don't know one thing about what you. I don't even know this subject. I haven't listened once.

[German]

Yeah.

[Bill]

We had none of the chicks doing us any favors because it was all dudes, so.

[Shane Gillis]

Oh, that's tough. Yeah. Just. Dudes is tough to cheat. Yeah.

[Bill]

You're just around. There's like. There's no Cheating's physically impossible.

[Shane Gillis]

Yeah, it'd be tough with dude like

[Bill]

writing that on your calculator. Have like, you would have to at least know the equations a little bit. If you had like the cheat sheet in the calculator slip, I would sit

[Shane Gillis]

there, be reading like, no, no. He would give us multiple choice answer. It was scantron tests.

[Bill]

Oh, God.

[Shane Gillis]

And then he gave me a real tests, like, no, Scantron. Just like do the work.

[Bill]

Oh, you're have to show the work on the scantron.

[Shane Gillis]

No, it's a scantron. It's multiple choice.

[Bill]

Damn. Usually would have scantron and worksheet.

[Shane Gillis]

Oh, oh, yeah, yeah. We did actually have those in other ones. But no, this guy would just toss us Scantron, bro. This lady would just write A, B,

[Bill]

C. I would hit scantrons and like skits out. I'd be like, it's been a four times. It can't be A this time.

[Shane Gillis]

Yeah, yeah. This has to be wrong. Little roulette. You go, it's been read too often, dude.

[Bill]

Oh, yeah, it's black. My SATs. I'm like, McAvan new. I had 960. I'm like, I can't read. I'm like you.

[Shane Gillis]

I'm like, you guys. I can't even read, you know. Oh, there he is. There's our next president.

[Bill]

Dude is bulletproof. Somehow he walks through all that.

[Shane Gillis]

Yeah, all you have to do is not be Trump.

[Bill]

Yeah, true.

[Shane Gillis]

You're gonna get.

[Bill]

If Trucker comes as the next president, though. I'm not voting though. Trucker.

[Shane Gillis]

Yeah, I see your Alps, bro.

[Bill]

Trucker calls and yeah, his alp shipment just got stolen.

[Shane Gillis]

You like Trucker.

[Bill]

I love. We're on the same vibe, bro.

[Shane Gillis]

You're on the same vibe. But are you on that? Are you on that? Christian weird.

[Bill]

Christian weird. The stuff that you said. You're on the beginning of the podcast.

[Shane Gillis]

Catholicism. There's a big difference. No, definitely not Catholic.

[Bill]

No, Trucker is into cabalism.

[Shane Gillis]

Trucker wears both eyes, dude. He's a Protestant.

[Bill]

Good point. He said he's found Christ, honestly.

[Shane Gillis]

But yeah, he found Protestant Christmas.

[Gerb]

Oh, really?

[Bill]

Is that 100? What's Protestant?

[Shane Gillis]

It's the exact same.

[Bill]

Yeah. What's the difference?

[Shane Gillis]

We have the Pope, bro. We have the value of church.

[Bill]

Oh, okay.

[Shane Gillis]

They have there. And also they're much more strict about word for word in the Bible.

[Bill]

Oh, so they're kind of like evangelicals with that.

[Shane Gillis]

He seems a little more evangelical.

[Bill]

Yeah, yeah. I mean, I kind of just like the. He puts up about, like, Israel and

[Shane Gillis]

I gotta be honest, he's kind of nailing it lately.

[Bill]

But yeah, it's. It feels a little too good. I started watching that. Like if you. You gotta watch the jones on Duncan Trussell, he get like halfway through it, he goes back to his old and saying, like, we're pretty much three dimensional beings that are more powerful than the fourth dimension beings. But they're using us and we think they're more powerful than us and they're gonna use AI to take us out. So then they can.

[Shane Gillis]

The fourth dimensional being.

[Gerb]

Yeah. Instead of sending to the fourth dimensional, naturally, they're gonna create a false dimension through AI.

[Shane Gillis]

Yeah.

[Gerb]

We'll all be plugged into the matrix futures.

[Shane Gillis]

How does he know all that?

[Gerb]

It was an arpanet. It was like a futurist. A futurist wrote an art. Like a. I don't know what they call like a white paper for arpanet.

[Bill]

Yeah.

[Gerb]

Before darpa.

[German]

Before, like reads old like futurist papers.

[Shane Gillis]

But I'll tell you what, Jolene is just a cute little dates.

[German]

Don't angle that back.

[Shane Gillis]

The fourth dimension.

[Bill]

Dude, I'm here. I just went to Roots Day. That was actually pretty good.

[Shane Gillis]

You went to where? Roots. Where's that at?

[Bill]

In Westchester.

[Shane Gillis]

It's a tasty little cute spot. It's a cute spot.

[Gerb]

Are you like going on many dates? Is this why you say.

[Bill]

Are you swimming in.

[German]

I'm not swimming in.

[Bill]

No. Drowning.

[Gerb]

I'm not television.

[Shane Gillis]

Definitely drowning.

[German]

I'm beating them out there.

[Shane Gillis]

And how often do you go on dates? Just curious.

[Bill]

Serial Day.

[Shane Gillis]

You don't actually have to say that.

[German]

Oh, thank you.

[Shane Gillis]

Okay, we're just.

[Gerb]

We're just bullshitting. We could totally edit this out.

[Shane Gillis]

Yeah.

[Bill]

Or not. Blink twice.

[Shane Gillis]

We don't have to.

[German]

Yeah, but no, I mean, I'm dating

[Bill]

and so having fun, as they call it.

[German]

Well, I'm dating intentionally. I'm trying to. I'm.

[Shane Gillis]

You want to find your wife?

[German]

Yes.

[Bill]

You're Forever Hole. Your sheath.

[German]

I do think I would want my wife to fire everybody. Sure. Yeah.

[Gerb]

Trying to find your first.

[German]

I'm looking for my Forever Hole.

[Shane Gillis]

If Forever Hole is crazy.

[Gerb]

Hey, man, he found his.

[Shane Gillis]

Yeah.

[German]

Congratulations.

[Shane Gillis]

I mean, there's no hiding it now.

[Bill]

Yeah.

[Shane Gillis]

You got your ring, bro. That's sick.

[Bill]

Feels I was like, bro, Spades always told me, wear rings, bro.

[German]

Wear rings.

[Gerb]

Hold on, let me throw that in the fire real quick.

[German]

Forge it.

[Bill]

Very weird. You ever wear rings or anything like that? What? How far do you go?

[Shane Gillis]

He's tried.

[German]

If it wasn't for Shane, I'D be

[Bill]

wearing a lot of it like Jack

[Gerb]

Sparrow if it wasn't for Ed Norton.

[Shane Gillis]

Dude, you remember in fight Club and Tyler Duran was like, dude, Ed Norton would think this is so gay.

[German]

Although, I mean, the only thing is,

[Gerb]

I. I think you could totally punch Germany. You just go.

[German]

Have hit a little bit. Does actually have exit velocity on this. If you did die, I don't know how far I would go in the other direction.

[Shane Gillis]

I think I finally got through to you. Yeah. Here's how I knew I got through to you.

[Bill]

Yeah.

[Shane Gillis]

The Savannah Bananas.

[German]

The Savannah Bananas.

[Shane Gillis]

That was a major test. I sent him a video of the Savannah Bananas, and I was like, this is your.

[Gerb]

What is it?

[Shane Gillis]

The Savannah Bananas is like Harlem Globetrotter.

[Bill]

They're like Hawkeyes.

[German]

I very much respect it.

[Bill]

Yeah.

[Shane Gillis]

They're all nasty at baseball, which. It actually even pissed me off even more because they do all these cutesy dances, and I was like, these dorks. And I watch them catch, like, a double play between their legs. And I was like, all right, These guys are nasty.

[German]

Yeah, they're very tough dances.

[Shane Gillis]

The dances and. But they're, like, doing, like, cute guy. It's like cool face paint glove. Like, they're. I don't know. It's. You got to see it. They're like, Harlem. In my opinion, it was right up Gerby's alley. As far as what he. In his mind. If he could be anything, he'd be a Savannah banana.

[Bill]

Right.

[Shane Gillis]

I thought for sure I was correct on this. I sent him a reel of the Savannah Bananas dancing. I said, this is your.

[Urban]

No.

[Shane Gillis]

And he said, no. And I was. I was very.

[German]

What is your, like, war hero?

[Shane Gillis]

What.

[German]

What?

[Shane Gillis]

You want to be a warrior?

[German]

Why did everybody react like that?

[Gerb]

No, you just said we're talking about.

[German]

Because I thought about it in response to what the Savannah.

[Gerb]

Just to say, like a war hero. Like a famous war hero. Yeah, yeah.

[German]

You know, like, you could be anything.

[Gerb]

Like, watching masters in the air, being like, this is totally.

[Shane Gillis]

You want to be like the line of Tel Aviv Captain Captain America.

[German]

You like a fighter pilot.

[Gerb]

Oh, yeah, yeah.

[Bill]

2020 vision.

[German]

Like, Maverick stuff.

[Urban]

Yeah.

[Bill]

Boys brother's pilot.

[German]

Not a Savannah video.

[Shane Gillis]

Then he told me. Yeah. That I've. I've thankfully, I've gotten in. I've gotten through the defenses. I've gotten through the iron dump.

[German]

He came in. In.

[Shane Gillis]

And now I'm in Firecracker. I. I was just wearing Burberry tans. They're black. Shut up.

[Urban]

What?

[German]

I was wearing sweats.

[Shane Gillis]

Tommy's Fiance bought me a bunch of clothes, and I begged. These right here. Well, I'm just saying. I'm not out shopping. I'm not. It.

[Bill]

It's hard, dude, but going out somewhere

[Shane Gillis]

trying to find a pair of pants, I grab. I grabbed the wrong side.

[Bill]

This will shrink.

[Shane Gillis]

My ass sweats, my armpit sweat, and I leave. That's every trip to the mall.

[Bill]

Yeah, That's a little too bright in there.

[Shane Gillis]

He told me. He was like, I saw that video of Savannah Bananas, and I thought to myself, you're queers. And I was like, yes, we. We've reached it.

[German]

The Sopranos.

[Shane Gillis]

That's just the. That is the warrior on him.

[Bill]

Is that why you send me gay guys kissing on Instagram? Me trying to see if that's my stuff?

[Shane Gillis]

I'll tell you what, that backfired because now my algorithm. Yeah, dude, did I say you wanted the guy has ass cheeks? Yes, the guy with the thickest cheeks.

[Bill]

There's a new one I've been watching where it's a big, tall white man that acts perfectly like a black woman, and he has a little black boyfriend. And they walk around.

[Shane Gillis]

It's crazy. Great.

[Urban]

It's crazy.

[Bill]

I want to show it.

[Shane Gillis]

Yeah, show me this.

[Bill]

It's so crazy. And they do like. She like. The dude literally does the hand signals.

[Gerb]

Like Blackjack lives at the end of that.

[Bill]

It's very insane. Gotta find the hell. Why'd you leave your cheaters in the truck, brother?

[German]

I thought about getting them your way. My glasses.

[Shane Gillis]

Oh, yeah.

[Bill]

I've been sending you a lot of shit with that one gay podcast who talks about, like, getting nut in his face and shit.

[Shane Gillis]

Why? Jesus.

[Bill]

I sent you all those reels for the intros.

[Shane Gillis]

You got to take the cans off.

[Gerb]

Oh, the guy says, you have your pants.

[Bill]

Sit down.

[Gerb]

You want me to eat that cake?

[Urban]

Yeah.

[Gerb]

It's killing me, dude.

[Shane Gillis]

I'll take the headphones off. Dude, I. I had to listen.

[Gerb]

Who's the guy who's, like when they're talking about the Giza? Oh, that dude's killing me.

[Shane Gillis]

You've changed, Bill.

[Bill]

I've changed. I literally can be more normal.

[Gerb]

I get paid to do gay mate.

[Bill]

There you go.

[Gerb]

That's a dude.

[Shane Gillis]

Oh, this is fake, dude.

[Bill]

It's real. She does. He does, like, girl hand signals.

[Gerb]

And that's great.

[Bill]

Turn up the song.

[Shane Gillis]

I think it might get us talking

[Bill]

about making guys toes curls as a dude.

[Gerb]

Anyway, I got, like, 83 points in one game that'll figure out what sporting

[Shane Gillis]

event he's at based on the old

[Bill]

Painting New Mexico or something like that.

[Shane Gillis]

Oh, little New Mexico State. That's a wolf pack stadium right there.

[Bill]

She does that. She. I mean, it's.

[Shane Gillis]

Hey, thank you. Thank you.

[Bill]

No problem.

[Gerb]

Screen blocker. I can't see.

[German]

So who.

[Bill]

Oh, it's loading down here. Shane's goon cave.

[German]

Oh. So.

[Bill]

Okay. That's a man.

[Shane Gillis]

I understood. Looks like Baron Trump for real. It's crazy. That's what's.

[Bill]

That's what's going to happen to everyone if everyone keeps it down this road.

[Shane Gillis]

What?

[Bill]

Tides and lux maxing with huge asses. It's not going to stop it.

[Shane Gillis]

Is anyone.

[German]

What?

[Gerb]

Gervin's looks maxing.

[Shane Gillis]

Gervin is look maxing, but he's not

[Bill]

got that Reagan hairline.

[Gerb]

I mean, not really. Yeah, German's like cash right now.

[Shane Gillis]

He hasn't gotten into. There's no substances, no peptides. No, no, this is natural, dude.

[Gerb]

Wait till he finds out about peptides.

[German]

Tell me about Pepsi.

[Gerb]

You're gonna be like, cap.

[Bill]

Oh, I don't trust him.

[Shane Gillis]

I told you I was gonna take peptides today. And he kept being like, what Peptides, dude.

[German]

I was like, driving over. I was like.

[Bill]

I mean, it's literally stuff.

[Urban]

Very good.

[German]

Well, how come he gets to do it?

[Gerb]

So Billy met a dude. Billy. I met this dude through Billy and he's like, dude, you gotta take redo. What the. Was the other ones Geo or.

[Bill]

Oh, I forget. You got a pin to win, they say. Yeah, I'm sorry, I can't inject anything, so I'm just gonna have to be a lifetime natural.

[Gerb]

Can you inject?

[German]

Yeah.

[Shane Gillis]

Good.

[Bill]

Dude, I'm trying.

[Shane Gillis]

This is the best you look.

[German]

What are they? They're just steroids.

[Gerb]

They're not steroids.

[Shane Gillis]

They're what you look like tier one. Operate.

[Bill]

I'll be fat in three weeks.

[Shane Gillis]

Is this not the best he's looked in a while?

[Bill]

I'll hurt my.

[Gerb]

I don't really pay attention. I see all the time, too.

[Shane Gillis]

I don't see him enough.

[Urban]

You should see.

[Bill]

Spade's son is jacked.

[Gerb]

He's enormous, dude.

[Shane Gillis]

He's literally. How tall is this boy already?

[Gerb]

Tall. We're not gonna talk about tall.

[German]

Number.

[Shane Gillis]

Well, frame,

[Gerb]

weight.

[Shane Gillis]

Yes. His frame is actually like creating a fullback.

[Gerb]

Yeah.

[German]

For real.

[Bill]

It might be. It might be. Michael.

[Shane Gillis]

He was giving birth.

[German]

Michael.

[Bill]

Mike Allstot's probably my favorite football player.

[Shane Gillis]

Could he be the last fullback? I mean, the game's gonna change so much.

[Gerb]

I don't know if I'll reach the

[Shane Gillis]

height he could bring back the fullback Cincinnatus Charlie boy Republicus could be the final full back. Damn, he's a unit.

[Bill]

He's stout, bro.

[Shane Gillis]

He's got a dome, dude. He's got a jones bill.

[German]

Oh, wow. Oh my God.

[Shane Gillis]

Yeah, it's a Hardy Boy.

[Bill]

That's a guy who punches metal for fun.

[Gerb]

His arms down.

[Shane Gillis]

It.

[Bill]

I enjoy the frame.

[German]

Cute.

[Shane Gillis]

Cute that.

[Bill]

Now that makes sense.

[Shane Gillis]

That's cute.

[Bill]

Yes, a bar is.

[Shane Gillis]

Him and a bar have nothing in common.

[German]

What did

[Matt McCusker]

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[Shane Gillis]

Pardon the interruption. Pardon the interruption.

[Gerb]

This is Sean Gardini.

[Shane Gillis]

I just wanted to let you guys know that I'll be in Salt Lake City, Utah at Wise Guys Comedy Club March 27th and 28th with Nate Marshall. So please come see that show if you'd like.

[Gerb]

And I'll be at the Comet in Cincinnati.

[Shane Gillis]

Not Comet. Ping pong. Just the Comet in Cincinnati on May 22nd and 23rd. So please come to those. That was a little joke there, but I'd like to, like. I'd really like to see you guys at the show, so please come if you can. Tickets [e-mail] and we also have Optimum Noctis at the Creek in the Cave in Austin, Texas. Me, Nate Marshall, and Lamar Lee every first and third Tuesday of the month. So thank you very much for your time. Pardon the interruption. Enjoy the rest of the show. And we're back. Dude, did you see Smashing Machine now?

[Urban]

Because I love the documentary. No, no, but I love the documentary.

[Gerb]

The marker thing.

[Urban]

Yeah, the original documentary where he's like, can I tell you something? That the documentary something up for me with Mark Kirk. Because when you watch him, he's such a badass. And just like, the way he, like, in the documentary, too, he's like ragdoll. This is like when UFC was dudes with mullets and karate.

[Bill]

Yeah, yeah.

[Urban]

And then he's in there with, like, actual spandex, and he's just like a good wrestler. It's the first time he interviews. And he goes, I was just gonna kick the.

[Shane Gillis]

Out of me. Dude, the Rock. The Rock talks like that. Dude, it's perfect. He does the voice so good right there.

[Urban]

Might give you this either.

[Shane Gillis]

It made the entire movie. He was so happy.

[Bill]

He was on an airplane at one point going to Tokyo. And he's like, huge in, like, a aisle seat, and the lady sitting next to her dude has the window and the things down. He's like, excuse me, can you. Can you put that down? I love the sun sunsets.

[Shane Gillis]

Now he calls about his tummy.

[Bill]

Yeah.

[Gerb]

The best is when he's at the fair. He's trying to go on the graviton. He's like, you know, I can't go on that with my tummy.

[Shane Gillis]

Yeah, it's perfect.

[German]

It's wondering.

[Urban]

Yeah. I only watched the old documentary that was on. I think it was, like, on hbo, but it was just show him taking pills, and it was like, in real time injecting pain. Yeah.

[Gerb]

I didn't even know that was a

[Urban]

thing in the dock. When you see him doing it, you're like, also, we made that documentary, made Japan look nuts. Because it was like, before we knew a lot about it, and they were just doing these, like, Tokyo Dome.

[Shane Gillis]

Yeah.

[Urban]

Fucking tournaments. Yeah. And it was like, dude, that was a nice ride and all that. It's on the documentary. Yeah.

[Gerb]

I mean it's like early 2000s.

[Urban]

Yeah. Because I was. It was like oh two.

[Bill]

Right after the height of Super Mario.

[Gerb]

Yeah.

[Shane Gillis]

You've been on a real Super Mario?

[Bill]

Super Mario Land. I'm on three. Three's hard as, bro. Not that lie. That's actually hard paddle slamming territory. Like I died and I just grabbed the controllers.

[Gerb]

What's right now.

[Bill]

Tanuki suit. Yes, dude.

[Urban]

Tanuki suits.

[Gerb]

You know the name of it?

[Urban]

No, I'll only race in a tanuki suit. I know Tanuki Mario.

[Shane Gillis]

Yes. Easily the tan does three raccoon suit.

[Urban]

It's hilarious.

[Shane Gillis]

Tanuki.

[Urban]

Tanuki.

[Shane Gillis]

Yeah. Is that how you say raccoon in Japanese?

[Bill]

No clue.

[Urban]

It's a kind of. I think it's like a mixed breed of something.

[Shane Gillis]

You're a raccoon dog. A mixer raccoon dog recently. And I was pretty fired up about it actually.

[Urban]

Let me look up if what a tanooki is.

[Bill]

It has to be a raccoon. But there's.

[Gerb]

I don't know.

[Urban]

Oh, his name's Tsunuki Mario.

[Gerb]

But did they say that in the game?

[Bill]

I mean they don't say.

[Gerb]

My whole life I thought it was good.

[Shane Gillis]

That raccoon dog is.

[Gerb]

What the.

[Bill]

What is that? Is that a real dog?

[Shane Gillis]

No, it's a domesticated record. No, no, it's not domesticated. It's just an animal.

[Gerb]

It's like a soft face.

[Shane Gillis]

It's an Asian. I think that's probably what it's. The tanuki is based off of Japanese raccoon dog.

[Urban]

What is it actually a real mammal native to Japan. Known for its fox like appearance. Mass like markings. A thick brown non ring tail.

[Shane Gillis]

Give me credit.

[Urban]

In Japanese folklore.

[Gerb]

Trying to call you dumb.

[Shane Gillis]

Yeah, no, I was.

[Urban]

There's supernatural shapeshifters.

[Bill]

Me and autistic because we watch Super Mario 3 stuff and we eat especially.

[Gerb]

You don't watch a YouTube video. We get through it.

[Bill]

Supposedly you don't digest right if you eat. Watch YouTube or TV while you eat.

[Urban]

Eat what?

[Bill]

Because your mind is like watching the tv so you don't digest as good as you should.

[Urban]

She's just to go into like a deprivation tank and chew.

[Shane Gillis]

It's impossible. I better eat like this sometimes.

[Bill]

Yeah.

[Gerb]

I have to have a YouTube video to eat.

[Urban]

I just put one on at a truck stop. Eating Burger King.

[German]

Yes.

[Urban]

Like a toddler. I put my phone on on its little side.

[Shane Gillis]

I always just dropped BK. Not McDonald's. Didn't have you Lied to me.

[Urban]

I was gonna get McDonald's.

[Shane Gillis]

I was so jealous.

[Urban]

Can I tell you something, brother?

[Shane Gillis]

You're getting rest stop McDonald's. And I was genuinely.

[Gerb]

Who wants me? Okay, like, what's. What's the hierarchy?

[Shane Gillis]

Well, McDonald's is the best McDonald's is.

[Gerb]

But let me tell you right now, the arches call.

[Shane Gillis]

Wendy's fell off really hard. Wendy's fell off.

[Urban]

Let me tell you right now, that Sprite that I got, that Sprite. That Sprite was terrific.

[Gerb]

That s. They've been hitting me with reals about the big arch, and I'm like, I want to try. I'm looking at it. I'm like, yo, honestly, I might do

[Bill]

this if I do sesame.

[Urban]

If I didn't have a stomach full of bk, I would do a class field trip to get a big arch.

[Bill]

I was talking to Certer about eating before bed. I was like, dude, I can't do

[Gerb]

it myself to sleep.

[Bill]

That's how he does it.

[Gerb]

I eat cereal. I eat. I used to eat cereal.

[Shane Gillis]

Ctc.

[Bill]

Was it a certain choice?

[Urban]

Cereal's horrible. Where you're not supposed to drink milk, like, right before you go to bed.

[Gerb]

70 pounds heavier than I was in high school.

[Urban]

That's all milk weight.

[Shane Gillis]

You are.

[Gerb]

Milk is like a jug.

[Urban]

It is.

[Shane Gillis]

Milk rocks.

[Urban]

It's the best.

[Gerb]

I love it. I can drink a gallon of milk in, like, a day and a half.

[Urban]

It was funny as I got, broly.

[Shane Gillis]

When I was a kid, I would drink milk, like, water.

[Urban]

Yeah.

[Shane Gillis]

Like, I would.

[Gerb]

I didn't still do that, dude.

[Urban]

I always hated eating at my friend's houses because then their parents had to see how much milk I drank.

[Shane Gillis]

Hey, one bowl of,

[Urban]

like, a gooseberry.

[Shane Gillis]

Yeah.

[Urban]

I'm like, okay. Hey, hey, Mike, you cut off.

[Shane Gillis]

You go.

[Bill]

What'd you say to me, dude? My cousin. My cousins that shared a driveway with us on the compound, they're. They had 10 kids.

[Matt McCusker]

Kids.

[Bill]

Jesus.

[Shane Gillis]

Dude.

[Bill]

I think there was a dedicated farm for their milk intake because it was like, milk with spaghetti.

[Shane Gillis]

It would get four spaghetti.

[Bill]

I've done every single time.

[Shane Gillis]

I've had rules, maybe.

[Gerb]

I remember being 17 or 18 and seeing the bill, and it was 400. This is, like 1999. Like, and they had four gallons of milk at a time.

[Shane Gillis]

Always.

[Urban]

Yeah.

[Bill]

Ajax would come in, just slam.

[Shane Gillis]

Yeah.

[Urban]

You guys are like the Gronkowskis.

[Gerb]

Ajax just released an album.

[Bill]

Oh, yeah. Ajax McCusker on Spotify.

[Gerb]

An EP.

[Bill]

Voice of an angel, bro.

[Shane Gillis]

Well, just so you know, that's about to hit 450. I wanted to make like

[Gerb]

dude out of the depths with a diabetes port crushing from the third floor.

[Urban]

You're charted.

[Bill]

Kyron's doors. Dude, listen to Ajax McCarthy. Listen. It's like sick. He has a voice of an angel, but he's like 6 foot 8.

[Shane Gillis]

He's huge.

[Urban]

That's what yeah. I want.

[Bill]

It's like Andre the Giant. If you could sing.

[Urban]

That's what I want. That's the funnier. That's like the mark.

[Bill]

Her voice, it's powerful as bro.

[Gerb]

Jack is a gentle giant. He wouldn't hurt a fly, bro.

[Bill]

No.

[Shane Gillis]

But yeah, they used to crush a Matt's famous ass.

[Urban]

No, no.

[Bill]

Go Spotify.

[German]

He has.

[Shane Gillis]

I'm on Spotify. Just search Ajax McCusker.

[Bill]

It has to come.

[Shane Gillis]

Everything that comes up, just look my artist. Yeah, there it is.

[Bill]

Karen's doors. Perhaps John McCusker. No, is John McCarter. I mean, comes up.

[Urban]

For me, it's crazy that now you can just put up music. Like, you know, if you're awesome, that's great, but if you suck, you're just like.

[Shane Gillis]

Oh, no.

[Urban]

Hit it. Yes.

[Bill]

Hit top plate. Give soda a taste.

[Gerb]

I mean, the quality is insane.

[Shane Gillis]

Does he play this?

[Bill]

No, he did it with like an AI thing. He's singing. It's ominous.

[Shane Gillis]

We'll give you some Ajax lore.

[Bill]

I'd smoke and drive to this.

[Urban]

Yeah.

[Gerb]

Jax used to like, stand at the perimeter of our school where like at the actual feat would end where the school property was and smoke reds in front of our disciplinarian. Just rip Marmo red. Look into hill and just be like, what are you gonna do about it?

[Urban]

You're selling this album.

[Gerb]

I'm not on school property.

[Bill]

He can't.

[Shane Gillis]

Man just need no AI.

[Bill]

I know, but I mean, dude, the

[Gerb]

Mak had that music, man.

[Bill]

He needs a new music. It's a long intro, honestly. Come on, Ajax, sing.

[German]

Boo.

[Bill]

You gotta hear his voice.

[Shane Gillis]

Dude's coming.

[Bill]

Fast forward.

[Urban]

It's almost like it's a bit every time.

[Shane Gillis]

You think he's gonna sing, he's like, he never knows.

[Matt McCusker]

Yeah.

[Bill]

Good instrumental intro. I don't do it anymore.

[German]

That was the best.

[Urban]

That was the best out I've ever heard.

[German]

I. I really was like, there's no fast forward. This like a seven minute intro.

[Urban]

They don't do that anymore.

[Bill]

This is Bside.

[German]

Yeah, it's like Journey, the.

[Shane Gillis]

The session. He's not singing.

[Bill]

He might have uploaded the instrumental by accident.

[Gerb]

Might be the wrong song.

[Bill]

I feel like I'm doing trolls, dude. Kyron's Doors.

[Shane Gillis]

Look at it is this not him.

[Bill]

No, that's him.

[Urban]

Dude, that break in was so funny.

[Bill]

He was like, make it whole make.

[Gerb]

That's agent.

[Shane Gillis]

That's crazy.

[Gerb]

He had voice Eliza in high school. Not Take it away Crazy.

[Shane Gillis]

That's Ajax.

[Urban]

Damn, dude, he could wait.

[Gerb]

Ajax used to also be able to memorize books. Yeah, he, like, knew what was on

[Bill]

pages of a new walkout song, bro.

[Gerb]

Yes.

[Shane Gillis]

Crunch that, dude. I'll blast Ajax before shows.

[Bill]

That'd be sick.

[Urban]

Dude. That'd be awesome.

[Shane Gillis]

I need Ajax. Sing the national anthem. He would do that. The lyrics, dude.

[Bill]

He crush the. He sings for every weapon wedding.

[Gerb]

Oh, is that coming up? That's like in May, right?

[German]

July.

[Shane Gillis]

July.

[Urban]

Is that his cross to bear that he has to sing at every McCusker or whatever?

[Bill]

Cross the bear, bro.

[Shane Gillis]

The whole family loves dude.

[Gerb]

Church.

[Shane Gillis]

Entire family.

[Bill]

Ave Maria. Oh, my God. See him together at weddings. Yes. It's. How great.

[Shane Gillis]

How tall is he? He's huge. Jack's like a legit six, five heat and probably three.

[Bill]

Yeah, probably.

[Shane Gillis]

Yeah. Fluctuation 320.

[Urban]

Just a goblet. Goblet of milk. Singing like he has the.

[Gerb]

He did a talent show in high school where he did a Metallica song. I can't remember which one one it was. It was nothing else, really.

[Urban]

It's the fantasy of every teenager is to rip it at a talent show.

[Bill]

And some Twitter 33 year olds who

[Urban]

are just driving along. Oh, it keeps up. Sticking back. Yeah, take it back where you go. Come out AC DC And I wail on guitar.

[Bill]

So sick.

[Urban]

There was a senior. Girls want to suck my dick.

[Shane Gillis]

I wish I could have gotten head.

[German]

Head.

[Gerb]

That was the me up about that manosphere thing was that guy's like videotaping himself getting head. Like that's a thing.

[Shane Gillis]

I haven't watched this documentary monster. What?

[Gerb]

People film themselves cruise in England with this guy, H.S. tikitaki. And he's like, yeah, dude, I video if you go. If you join my telegram, you can watch me get head. And I'm like, dude, this is a thing these guys are doing. These streams are getting wild. Not change subject.

[Shane Gillis]

I'm sorry. Our stream's gonna have to. We're have to pick it up.

[Gerb]

Jesus.

[Shane Gillis]

Yeah, maybe we should quadruple kiss Herod and Marbella. Everybody tongue dog pile.

[Gerb]

You got got Ibiza.

[Urban]

And he's just singing to himself with a beautiful voice. Rolling kegs like they're nothing.

[Bill]

It's a real man.

[Shane Gillis]

Hong him unloading a whole thing of cattle barrels. Yo, he was a unit.

[Urban]

Yeah, he's just picking up cakes.

[Shane Gillis]

Something about a staff T shirt on a guy with long hair. I know. Just does it. Just does it for me, dude. You go, that guy, he's up to something. Yeah, I like it. You know, you give me a ponytail and a snap. A staff T shirt.

[Bill]

Dude, I've tried many times to grow out my hair. Never works.

[Shane Gillis]

You'd look great with them.

[Bill]

My head just comes increasingly bigger.

[Urban]

You gotta take the weight out of it, get it cut.

[Bill]

I do that.

[Shane Gillis]

Then I look like YouTube might be the noggin boy.

[Urban]

What size hat do you wear?

[Bill]

I don't.

[Urban]

I fitted don't.

[Bill]

Yeah, I never wear fitted hats.

[Urban]

All right, well, I can't fit in

[Shane Gillis]

a regular hat, I think, so there has to be.

[Urban]

I wear an ace.

[Bill]

He's sponsored by the big hat.

[Urban]

Oh, they're a big hat. I did a commercial for the guy and then he played it all over and he's like, I'll send you big hat. And then he made me a Miami Dolphins hat. When McDaniel was the coach of the Dolphins and I went to a game and my other friend that I grew up with, Chad, when we're on the field, he goes, so does wearing unlicensed NFL gear.

[Gerb]

I hope all the NFL coaches get that. Cool, dude.

[Urban]

Yeah. Oh, yeah.

[Shane Gillis]

McKeever's got, like.

[Gerb]

He should all be that chill.

[Shane Gillis]

Yeah, McKeever could. You guys could go down for dumb

[Urban]

Burt's heads size eight. Like, I think he's the only person I know. There's.

[Shane Gillis]

Who?

[Urban]

Bert Kreischer. He's got a size to be Roy had, though.

[Bill]

How's that, Drew? He's on set. He's on testosterone probably.

[Urban]

Dude. It's so funny when Barry Bonds. His head shrunk back down and then he showed back up in public. I'm a huge Giants fan. If he was. And you like, he's not on steroids. And his just head would go to his top of his head to his shoulder, and then he.

[Shane Gillis]

It was in the strike zone, it was gone. Gone.

[Urban]

Always be out of it.

[Gerb]

You'd be like, dude, when.

[German]

And.

[Gerb]

But when McGuire and sister were going for it, dude, it was fucking the best.

[Urban]

Well, that's why Bonds got on steroids, because they said there was a dinner. There's a dinner at Ken Griffey Jr's house. And they're all talking about it. And he was like, want to see me stare? Want to see me do roids? And then he just.

[Gerb]

Dude, he was like.

[Urban]

All this crush.

[Shane Gillis]

He's the. He's the best player of all time.

[Urban]

It's crazy.

[Shane Gillis]

He's not even close. He's the best player of all time.

[Urban]

Yeah. He could have died in 1998 and been easily our first Battle hall of Fame.

[Shane Gillis]

I forget the exact step, but his, the walks, the on bases he took, it was like the highest of more than teams combined. He had more walks than like the devil race that year.

[Urban]

The funny thing was watching him, he

[Shane Gillis]

would just go up to the plate and they'd be like, take first he'd

[Urban]

put on his elbow guard or whatever and then he'd know they're walking him and he would like, he'd get really huffy where he'd go like, take off his elbow card and be like, you won't pitch to me.

[Shane Gillis]

But he did this dude. If I had to run.

[Urban]

Oh, they would always try. Well, he was a stolen base guy originally when he was like with the Pirates.

[Shane Gillis]

With the Pirates. He was.

[Gerb]

Yeah, he was a rookie card, him and McGuire.

[Urban]

It was nasty. Yeah. McGuire was skinnier than they started shoes.

[Shane Gillis]

How hard were you guys chained for Maguire over Sosas?

[Gerb]

I loved it.

[Shane Gillis]

Am I right, brothers? I was too young.

[Gerb]

I turned into like the young enough. What do they call him? Frankenberry.

[Bill]

Come on.

[Shane Gillis]

Market of wire. So Sosa turned into an mj.

[Urban]

He really did.

[Shane Gillis]

So say the Frankenberry.

[Urban]

It's so real. Do you remember that video game, what's

[Shane Gillis]

happening to my skins?

[Urban]

He goes, sammy Sosa's baseball, he's so real.

[Shane Gillis]

Sammy Sosa rules.

[German]

It's final.

[Shane Gillis]

I think that's what happened. You get a little older, you go, actually Sosa was the man.

[Urban]

Yeah.

[Shane Gillis]

When you're obviously the man. When you're a young, when you're a young white man, you go, I'd like to see Mark McGuire win. He looks like my dad.

[Urban]

A red haired man that has freckles on his. Yeah. Looks like he's got his forearms tan from mowing the lawn.

[Shane Gillis]

So. So she's just. Yeah.

[Bill]

Shadow one at the recliner.

[Shane Gillis]

So. So is sprinting with the American flag in the, in the outfield at Wrigley. I think it was right after 9, 11.

[Urban]

Oh, yeah.

[Shane Gillis]

Come on now. Yeah, that's what it's all about.

[Urban]

Sosa was the man. But Bonds was like the guy that everyone hated. So it was fun to like him and be, and be like shitty about it.

[Bill]

And you were a Giants fan too.

[Urban]

Yeah, I was like, he never got caught. Caught. He never got caught. When Balco was happening the exact same. And then, and then he stops playing. And he just comes back to earth and. Yeah, yeah, he's definitely steroids.

[Gerb]

What was your baseball team?

[Urban]

Giants. I love the Giants.

[Shane Gillis]

Damn, that must have been so nice.

[Urban]

There was times in the night winning World Series, though. Never won till 2010. Yeah, but we lost 89. Lost in 02. It sucked.

[Shane Gillis]

Was it Litzy?

[Urban]

Litzke was the main.

[Shane Gillis]

Lincecombe was the man.

[Urban]

Long hair.

[Shane Gillis]

Yeah.

[Urban]

Whipped it. His dad had a clause in his contract that he a pitching coach. Couldn't change his release.

[Shane Gillis]

Sick.

[Urban]

He was like, you're not with my boys. Like, the way he threw the ball, they couldn't come in and go, you gotta just take your arm. Don't touch the boy. He was awesome.

[Gerb]

I remember watching a Giants double header. I don't know if it was with the Phillies, but it was. I watched this, and this went on for, like two days. And it went into, like, way extra innings. Like 17 innings. It was nuts.

[Bill]

Nuts.

[Shane Gillis]

Dude. Wait, you watch this, like on TV or.

[Gerb]

Tv, like back as you sat down and watched a double edit down and started. It was like a. And it went in an extra innings.

[German]

I was.

[Gerb]

This is nuts.

[Shane Gillis]

Back in the day, no pitch clock.

[Gerb]

Yeah. No Internet. Nothing. Just be like this dream. I'm like sitting there like, dude, this game's not over yet.

[Urban]

We gotta run an encyclopedia.

[Bill]

We had a bar.

[Gerb]

No, no. I was a little kid.

[Shane Gillis]

This double header Giants.

[Urban]

You're watching. You're watching a Matt Williams bad in third.

[Gerb]

Like the mid-90s giants.

[Urban]

Yeah. Hell yeah. Okay.

[Shane Gillis]

Damn.

[Gerb]

The mid-90s Phillies were goat. So baseball in Philly was like the most popular thing ever.

[Urban]

Like you said, the baddest team. You guys had the coolest team. You had the coolest colors. You had. The Braves were the villains.

[Gerb]

New uniform.

[Urban]

Braves were the villains. But you guys had Croc. Then you had Nails.

[Gerb]

Mitch Williams.

[Urban]

W. Oakland always beat our ass. So it was always like, Oakland rules. Oakland was great.

[Shane Gillis]

R. Henderson.

[Urban]

Ricky Henderson is the funniest baseball player of all time.

[Gerb]

I've never heard him talk. I heard Barry box.

[Urban]

He talks to third person. The funniest Ricky Henderson story of all time is one of his teammates was talking about John316. And then Ricky Henderson rocked. Every goes Ricky, okay, if John hit 316, Ricky gonna hit 350.

[Shane Gillis]

But he was third person, man.

[Bill]

It's powerful.

[Urban]

You guys start going third person. Me like that.

[Gerb]

Shane doesn't care about that.

[Shane Gillis]

Me never heard of the blood. Oh, man, that was weaving. We put together a good pod today. Derby's Gerbies was firing yeah, German is. German's the funniest dude ever.

[Bill]

Urban thinks that he is Tyler Durden to Shane and Shane.

[Urban]

That's crazy.

[Shane Gillis]

Yo. He's crazy. That's crazy.

[Gerb]

That is like.

[Urban]

That's a crazy take.

[Shane Gillis]

He's nuts. He thinks he's Brad Pitt. He goes as a six pack or just in general.

[Urban]

Does have a great body.

[Shane Gillis]

Thank.

[German]

Dude.

[Gerb]

Maybe this is what happens when you get a six pack. If you get a six pack to me and you're like, Ed Norton.

[Shane Gillis]

Yeah. He.

[Urban]

That's like God giving giraffes long necks so that they can eat.

[Shane Gillis]

The shit he does on set during tires is. You lose your mind if I. He gets there before me every day. So I get into hair and makeup after him. And he sings while he's in hair and makeup. He, like, sings songs with the girls.

[Urban]

Excuse me.

[Gerb]

You Must be Heaven, dude.

[Shane Gillis]

It's his favorite thing in the world.

[Gerb]

Yeah.

[Urban]

What's.

[Bill]

What kind of songs?

[Shane Gillis]

I like it. Show tunes. What do you think? He doesn't sing. I don't know if he's doing Yankee Doodle Danny.

[Bill]

This.

[Shane Gillis]

The music. Music he likes? Yeah.

[Urban]

You come in. He's like in the box.

[Shane Gillis]

He. The way the. The music he likes.

[Urban]

Yeah.

[Shane Gillis]

The glasses. He. We like. Everything he does is so funny.

[Urban]

Movie star. Yeah, dude. I love it.

[Shane Gillis]

So funny.

[Gerb]

He is.

[Urban]

You're Dr. Frankenstein.

[Shane Gillis]

No, he's so funny, dude.

[Urban]

The fact that he thinks.

[Shane Gillis]

But I'm getting to him. We were talking about earlier. I sent him the Savannah Bananas and it got through to him. Him. I was like, you like this? And he's like, shit's gay. I was like, yes.

[Urban]

You're starting to see it.

[Shane Gillis]

Yes.

[Urban]

I think it's gay.

[Shane Gillis]

Helen Keller. I'm like, yeah.

[Urban]

That was him going, that is water.

[Shane Gillis]

Did they. They do his hair? They shampoo his hair while they're shampooing his hair. He's like, oh, yeah.

[Bill]

The other good.

[Shane Gillis]

One of the other. One of the other hair makeup girls filmed it and sent it to me and was like, this is what he's doing in here now. There this out. No, no, no, no, no. They love it.

[Bill]

He sounds like a porno director from, like 2003.

[Shane Gillis]

This girl. This girl's doing his shampoo and he's going, holy. But I swear, the girls. The girl. Those girls love them. I get in there and they're like, steve's so nice. You're me. And I'm like, no, I'm just. It's 8am I have to put makeup on.

[Urban]

He comes in there with a tray of pink drinks from Starbucks and knows what each one goes to. And he goes, have you guys heard? I saw it on Celine.

[Shane Gillis]

Live.

[Urban]

Vegas.

[Shane Gillis]

So he goes in, he tells them about his dates.

[Urban]

Yeah.

[Shane Gillis]

He talks about his dating mics and his haircut. He does. He does. I mean, salon, bro. It is absolutely correct. And I am. He's right about this. When it comes to the Tyler Durant thing, I am jealous of the freedom. The complete freedom.

[Gerb]

Yeah.

[Shane Gillis]

And.

[Gerb]

But you want to be that way.

[Shane Gillis]

Anyway, he's happy. Yeah.

[Gerb]

He's just saying that. He just thinks that your freedom and his freedom is the same. You would be different.

[Urban]

Dude, that's actually a very good point.

[Gerb]

You know what I mean?

[Urban]

Your freedom isn't singing songs with the girls.

[Shane Gillis]

Yeah, but I wish. Yeah, I guess I don't really like this.

[Urban]

You just. You. Just kidding. You could just see.

[Shane Gillis]

He's like, you know what? I thought about it. I'm Tyler Durden, and I was just sitting there, like, what was his. I gave up picking on Gervin for Lent, so.

[Urban]

Did you really?

[Shane Gillis]

Yeah. My go. My nephew gave up doing 6, 7 for Lent. Are you serious? He's struggling very hard. Be like, is Anthony on?

[German]

Yeah.

[Shane Gillis]

I'll be like, dude, we were at work today for, like, six or seven hours. He's in the car,

[Bill]

dude, I coach Flag and all those kids, dude. Someone doesn't hit that extra point.

[Shane Gillis]

It's like, I swear to God.

[Gerb]

Alex Jones says Alex Jones has a nephew because he's been randomly hit in, like, six or seven years and shit. Like this, dude.

[Bill]

And I'm like, my looks better. Just.

[Urban]

Did you. Do you drop it? And then side eye.

[Shane Gillis]

It's. It's so nice to just be like, is Anthony. Can Anthony hear me right now? And he'll be like, like, dude, it was crazy. I was at work for, like, six or seven hours. He's just like, okay.

[Urban]

Come on, man. That's like someone not trying to smoke.

[Shane Gillis]

He, like, thinks he's going to hell if he does it. The power of Catholicism just dying.

[Gerb]

Oh, he gave it up.

[Shane Gillis]

He gave it. He decided. They're like. He know. He did. He knows. Like, this is his favorite thing. He gave it up.

[Urban]

Does Lent end on Easter or Good Friday?

[Shane Gillis]

Yeah, yeah. Easter.

[Gerb]

It ends on Easter.

[Shane Gillis]

Yeah. So he's got to wait till he rises.

[Urban]

He's going to be way.

[Shane Gillis]

He's going to hit the 6, 7.

[Gerb]

Easter Monday is.

[Bill]

I'm calling.

[Shane Gillis]

I'm going to go. Anthony, what time's mass? Is it six or seven?

[Urban]

Hurts his shoulders.

[Shane Gillis]

Oh, dude.

[Urban]

It's crazy.

[Bill]

My. My nephew just had basketball. The one kid was like, crazy add and he would just run up and down the court. Once he got to the three point line, just slide all the way down.

[German]

This could rule.

[Shane Gillis]

Yeah, Yeah. I saw a nice video. This kid with down syndrome. It was Special Olympics basketball. Did I send this to you? So nice. He's. He's. He's. Fast break lay. This kid's nasty. He, like, literally, like, finger rolls in a fast break. But the kid chasing him on the other team, start hitting, hitting him on the. And then the game gets heated, dude. But this kid's, like, draining threes, looking at the sideline like, oh, my God. Yeah. All right.

[Urban]

They got that.

[Bill]

The WWF taunts down.

[Shane Gillis]

Bro. Bro. You ever play that game for high five?

[Urban]

Yeah.

[Bill]

Where you would, like. It was like medieval shits, where you would, like, play football.

[Urban]

I kind of remember that.

[Bill]

It's very good. I was just watching videos on that the other day.

[Gerb]

What are you talking about?

[Urban]

It's like violent football.

[Bill]

It's like medieval football on Saga.

[Urban]

Yes.

[Bill]

It was called like pigs.

[Urban]

They love that on Sega.

[Shane Gillis]

And that ruled.

[Bill]

It was very good.

[Gerb]

I know what you're talking about.

[Bill]

Golden ax was my favorite.

[Urban]

Golden axe.

[Gerb]

I got a little crazy hole of

[Urban]

these, like, gold necks in the arcade.

[Gerb]

What do you call them?

[Shane Gillis]

Yes.

[German]

Video.

[Gerb]

You got video.

[Shane Gillis]

How do they do that?

[Bill]

Oh, yeah, the all in ones.

[Urban]

Gold. Next rule.

[Gerb]

What do you call them?

[Bill]

He has a real thing. It's called Steam Deck.

[Urban]

Yeah.

[Gerb]

Oh, Steam.

[Urban]

I can keep that. I got that thing on me.

[Bill]

I wish, dude.

[Urban]

My emulator crashed, though.

[Gerb]

Wait, so you have too much work, Game Boy.

[Urban]

It's like a Steam Deck's like a giant everything switch. Like. Yeah, it's like a bigger. It's like a switch on steroids.

[Bill]

Spade just got a switch, and now he's stuck in the underworld in Zelda.

[Gerb]

I gave it up real quick, dude.

[Shane Gillis]

Guy's killing it.

[Gerb]

I'm not built for open world games.

[Bill]

It's impossible. I'm a 2D game.

[Gerb]

I'm playing Zelda. I might have got lost. I might have to start the game over.

[Bill]

Oh, damn.

[Shane Gillis]

I think they.

[Urban]

I've done that twice with both. Last of us. I've gone halfway, got a little bored. Stop. Try to come back and be like, I gotta re. I gotta reboot.

[German]

I told.

[Gerb]

I was like, I think I have to start the game over. He said, no, you don't.

[Matt McCusker]

I was like, dude, this episode is brought to you by Shopify. When you start Anything new? It comes with a lot of what ifs. What if nobody laughs at your jokes during your first stand up routine? What if nobody listens to your new podcast? It's okay to have doubts, but you shouldn't let them rule your life.

[Bill]

Buck up.

[Matt McCusker]

Because who knows, you could get the life you've been dreaming of. It also helps if you have a good support system. And for any aspiring business owners out there, that means using Shopify. It's the commerce platform that's helped millions of businesses, including companies like Magic Spoon, Death Wish Coffee and even Heinz. Whatever stage you're at as a business owner, Shopify is the perfect wingman. They can help you create and design a website market across social media, grow your company and more. And you can get access to their iconic purple shop pay button which helps boost conversions so fewer carts go abandoned. And you can make that cha ching. Leave the what ifs behind and start working towards the future you want with Shopify. Sign up for your $1 per month trial today at shopify.com mattandshane that is M A T T space A N D space S H A N E all caps. That's shopify.com all caps Matt and Shane this episode is brought to you by on it. Ever feel like your brain is on but nobody's home? Yes, actually, that. That actually, yeah, all the time. Alpha Brain is a daily supplement with science backed ingredients made to support memory and focus so you can lock in, tune out distractions and stay sharp. I've never been Sharp. Visit on it.com and shop Alpha Brain to unlock your next level. That's O n n I t dot com.

[Gerb]

Yeah, pretty sure I entered the depths and I'm not supposed to be here yet. Don't have enough hearts.

[Bill]

Yeah, I just been spazzing on Super Mario 3. It's kind of my happy place.

[Urban]

What about. Are you gonna give it like Luigi's mansion?

[Bill]

No, no, I don't. I like the real ones. Although I do like A lot of people hate on Super Mario too. I do like it. I don't care if that. It was a Rush game that they just slapped on. It's still fun.

[Shane Gillis]

Shucks. I think they took it down.

[Urban]

Did they? Was it AI?

[German]

I think.

[Shane Gillis]

I think the kid attacking him, they probably were like this Special Olympics. Yeah, yeah, but the kids. He's shooting from NBA range.

[Urban]

It's like those videos where they're bouncing the ball off each other's heads. That's how violent they're getting.

[Gerb]

My entire Internet is just NBA clips, dude. I up really? Jordan. The Jordan LeBron argument. And then now this new spage is

[Shane Gillis]

going to go to a.

[Gerb]

The new. The kid that bumped Kobe for the all time point shots. Yeah. My whole shit's.

[Shane Gillis]

I wonder how many Kobe had that night. That was sick.

[Urban]

82.

[Shane Gillis]

No, no, I mean free throws.

[Urban]

Oh yeah.

[Shane Gillis]

But yeah, this was absurd. Mama. 43 free throws.

[Urban]

It was. It was impressive but it was also felt kind of like spamming.

[Shane Gillis]

Yeah.

[Urban]

Because someone's like, I just it. Then you go, don't do that.

[Shane Gillis]

Yeah. You're not really mates. We're trying to help them get it.

[Urban]

It's like when I used to play Tony Hawk and I'd turn off. Off the. You turn that off just for shits and giggles sometimes. But people would walk in my room and I'd have a five milli.

[Bill]

The manual.

[Urban]

The manual. I'd have five milli. Going on.

[Gerb]

So there's a way like you have

[Bill]

to balance the manual. It got really easy once you got the analog stick. You had to do it with the thing and then you could turn that

[Shane Gillis]

off a trillion points and it would be zero forever.

[Urban]

So people would come into my dorm or whatever and I'd just be chilling there. No, I just be chilling in my room, you know, in a beanbag playing Tony Hawk. But I'd be like a 3 million run.

[Shane Gillis]

That's so embarrassing.

[Urban]

Yeah.

[Shane Gillis]

If I walked in, I think I have I ever caught you doing something like that? Like somebody hitting like Madden. They're up 140.

[Urban]

Oh, I. That got all. I got through that before I was 20. I adjusted.

[Shane Gillis]

I swear. You do it. I played him in Madden.

[Bill]

He went and took a piss and I switched mine to rooking, put his on all pro or all Madden and I was him up for.

[Urban]

That's great. Yeah, that's great.

[Bill]

He found out still.

[Shane Gillis]

HP screen. HB slip screen. HP slip screen.

[Urban]

That's like Al Qaeda to take out Russia. Yeah. You go, I don't. Well, I. I wouldn't do that. But I like that you did that.

[Shane Gillis]

Well, I think when someone goes. When they're playing a game and they go to piss, you. You got to with them. Yeah.

[Urban]

Yeah.

[Shane Gillis]

Everyone knows Moon Shadow or Night Shadow, you know that. What?

[Urban]

Oh yeah, we talked about last.

[Shane Gillis]

He was playing Red Dead. He went to the ban.

[Urban]

The worst. I got my friends.

[Shane Gillis]

I put a stick of dynamite and

[Urban]

I lit it underneath and that blew up everybody.

[Shane Gillis]

It was great. He g. It came out in the fuses lit.

[Urban]

He's like, no, no, you had the gun, you had the Gun on him. And then you tossed the dynamite. I. But I did do that. I beat my friend in NHL 2001. 34. 2.

[Shane Gillis]

Well, that's great if you're playing against somebody. Yeah, yeah.

[Urban]

But I was like, let me play it through, because there was a glitch on the glove side or stick side, if you could Manual.

[Gerb]

One of my best friends in high

[Shane Gillis]

school, and he deserved it.

[Gerb]

In NHL 93, there was a glitch where you could just constantly fucking score. And he never didn't do it.

[Shane Gillis]

The wraparound.

[Gerb]

I would just sit there like, dude,

[Shane Gillis]

is it the wraparound goal?

[Gerb]

I'm in his bedroom. Like, two. Dude. I'm like, are you serious? It's just like, never stop.

[Shane Gillis]

It's like when Rogan plays people and

[Bill]

pull just a nice.

[Gerb]

I see it again. I never. I was like, dude, what's happening? This keeps happening.

[Shane Gillis]

That was the craziest thing he's ever done.

[Gerb]

What are you talking about?

[Shane Gillis]

That's your video games. First time I ever. Yeah, true. All right. Same exact thing. First time I did Rogan. First time I did Rogan, we got done, and he was like, let's play pool. I was like, okay. I was. I never played. He's like, it's just play, play. I was like, so where do what you do? Didn't help. He just destroyed me in pool for, like, two hours and then left.

[Urban]

Well, all right. Episode comes out in two days.

[Gerb]

There's a ton of dudes that can't lay it down and just have fun with pool. They can't do it.

[Urban]

Do you think there was, like, a song playing, like, when Uncle Phil came back and B bailed Will out in Fresh Prince to soul man. You think Joe Rogan was like, like. But it was like, God, smack, dude.

[Shane Gillis]

He what? My first episode.

[Urban]

No, no.

[Shane Gillis]

Phil. So nice.

[Bill]

Uncle Phil and what you call it? Fresh Prince. So good that.

[Urban]

That might be my favorite episode of Fresh Prince.

[Shane Gillis]

Yeah, true.

[Urban]

Will's hustling people, and then he gets crushed. And then Uncle Phil comes in and

[Shane Gillis]

just beats Br off everybody.

[Bill]

He's Phil from down the way. You ever see that thing of. What's his. Denzel Washington? Like, he starts talking about, like, stealing and stuff. He's like, they know I'm Denzel from down the way. It's like, dude, you've been an actor for 50 years.

[Gerb]

Like, the Will Smith. The. The Will Smith slap.

[Shane Gillis]

Would he actually go, like, Juilliard?

[Bill]

Yes, he's an actor. It's like with Lil Wayne. Remember Lil Wayne? Everyone's like, dude, he's so badass. And I was. Dude who went to art school.

[Shane Gillis]

I think he actually is.

[Bill]

I think he actually was.

[Shane Gillis]

I think he was the real deal.

[Bill]

Shot himself.

[Shane Gillis]

Yeah, yeah.

[Urban]

I think they like Wheezy seems like the real deal wheezy was like 16 when they put him on.

[Shane Gillis]

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

[Urban]

He handled child fame in the hood. Do you understand the degree of.

[Shane Gillis]

Like, I don't think he. I don't know how well he.

[Gerb]

I mean, the.

[Shane Gillis]

He's been addicted.

[Gerb]

Remember that documentary I've been on for 20 years? Those kids couldn't handle that.

[Bill]

50 spade. Spade had a kid in his neighborhood get killed. He was on a rap documentary on YouTube.

[Gerb]

They made a documentary about these kids. They couldn't even handle, like YouTube fame. They started killing each other immediately.

[Shane Gillis]

Yeah.

[Bill]

Trap. Laura Ross. I get on his videos sometimes. I drove home from the.

[German]

What.

[Bill]

What was that place in Virginia? The place that went for sleeping the

[Shane Gillis]

last time I laughed as hard as I did earlier.

[Bill]

Was it called Monroe is on the way home.

[Shane Gillis]

I'm.

[Bill]

I drove.

[Shane Gillis]

I think I've showed you the clip.

[Urban]

Oh, he. We talked about it.

[Shane Gillis]

The last favorite thing I've ever seen.

[Bill]

I drove home from Virginia and watched like a four hour video on O Block. Trap Raw.

[Shane Gillis]

I just saw a nice. There's a meme going around of O block. What of. Well, they put up signs, the squad together. And then it's either got a dove or locked up or who's dead. Literally the entire squad. There's like, dudes. It's like a football photo.

[Bill]

Put a plaque up.

[Urban]

That is.

[Shane Gillis]

They're all gone.

[Urban]

That is like.

[Shane Gillis]

There's one guy that's not in jail or dead.

[Urban]

That's like all. That's like that all star roster.

[Shane Gillis]

It's crazy, but it has all their nicknames on there too, which is pretty great.

[Urban]

That's great. Like squeaky, like a little pip. Little pip pip.

[Shane Gillis]

And stock like a dove underneath it. God damn. Yeah.

[Bill]

They were all tweeting like, I just killed that.

[Shane Gillis]

I did it. I'm at.

[Gerb]

That was me.

[Bill]

Me, I'm smoking weed. We named after.

[Urban]

That's always the ramp up where they're like, oh, they're just on Twitter being like, we're here right now.

[Gerb]

Come get us.

[Shane Gillis]

The funniest one, though, is there was a guy named. I think it's Mr. Disrespectful.

[Bill]

That's the one that dialed his neighbor.

[Gerb]

That's my neighborhood.

[Shane Gillis]

So I watched that documentary. It was hilarious. He was like. He was like. They were like, what's your name? He's like Mr. Disrespectful. Like, why do they call you that? He's like, I just for real be disrespecting people. Well, this is how disrespectful it was. He dug up up one of his ops graves.

[Gerb]

Yeah, that was wild.

[Shane Gillis]

And like, danced on it. He dug up the. He killed a guy and then danced on his grave. Yeah, he's dead now, but now he's dead.

[Urban]

Yeah. Live by the sword.

[Shane Gillis]

That's the. I mean, that's like a biblical. That's og the best in the digging somebody.

[Urban]

I don't the only. You'd have to Cartman. Their family is. The only way to be more disrespectful is to grind them up.

[Gerb]

Maybe Brave heart time they did that.

[German]

Yeah.

[Shane Gillis]

Why are you call yourself it?

[Urban]

I think that disrespectful. That move gets him Dr. Disrespectful.

[Shane Gillis]

I think he got a Ph.D. being

[Urban]

disrespectful up a grave. Different up a grave. Dude, the only way you can be more disrespectful is if I showed up to fight you and your dead grandmother's clothes. If I was even.

[Shane Gillis]

The devil is like, come on, man. Hey, come on, man.

[Gerb]

I'm going to be so bummed out of his. Not the south park devil, dude.

[Bill]

She's de. It's good.

[Gerb]

My diet is not his.

[Urban]

He's like, hi. Hey, what's up, guys? Purple Instagram. Oh, you're crazy.

[Shane Gillis]

Oh, you guys are doing it. You're for real. That was my best joke.

[Urban]

It was my favorite joke.

[Shane Gillis]

Never made it. What I used to do, I was like. When I was opening for Soda, I'd be like, yo, this is my impression. This is my impression of Allah calling Osama bin Laden. And I before 911 just be like,

[Gerb]

dude, that must have been nuts for people.

[Shane Gillis]

Dude, you know how much I hate Towers.

[Urban]

Disrupt the capitalist brigs.

[Shane Gillis]

This is o. This is the devil calling Osama Bin lad on. On 9 12. Holy. You guys did it. You guys are crazy. Oh, my God.

[Bill]

I didn't even know that many girls.

[Urban]

The best part was watching you get excited to do that joke, doing it on stage. And then when you run out of real estate and you just be like. Like, you guys doing it anyways.

[Shane Gillis]

Yeah, it's south park anyway.

[Urban]

South Park. But it is so funny. Oh, you guys actually did it.

[Shane Gillis]

Yeah, I don't. I wish I still had that. I tried my best to hit the thigh slap for you.

[Urban]

It was so. It made me Laugh my best. It made me laugh really hard.

[Bill]

You hit a thigh slap.

[Urban]

He hit the thigh slap. Bring him in.

[Shane Gillis]

No, not the mic.

[Urban]

Just. He did the.

[Shane Gillis]

I tried fake hump.

[Urban]

Yeah, he did fake Hulk.

[Shane Gillis]

Did like tip. Looked over at Dan just going, oh, it was great. Hey, what's up, everybody?

[Bill]

Yeah, the. The Chicago stuff. They thought they're like for real getting away with it. The cops are like. They're killing each other, dude. That's like kind of problem.

[Gerb]

We don't have to do anything.

[Urban]

I. I know. I. I don't want to say this. Six things easier.

[Bill]

They're actually pretty bad.

[Shane Gillis]

Normally we'd kill them.

[Matt McCusker]

Listen, I've been a Chicago police officer for 15 years.

[Urban]

This is the least I've had to work.

[Shane Gillis]

I'll tell you what, I love that King Von.

[Urban]

This guy does my job for me.

[German]

Automated.

[Shane Gillis]

We used to go down and put a gun in the guy's hand. But this fella down in Obloc, there's a guy, King Von.

[Gerb]

That far thing he sent me was killing me.

[Shane Gillis]

Which one?

[Gerb]

He's like, let me tell you about this guy. This guy says this. Let me tell you about this guy.

[Bill]

Oh, it's like talking to a painter on lunch break.

[German]

He never gets to it. Yeah.

[Gerb]

Now wait for this. This is amazing.

[Shane Gillis]

The one that I keep seeing on is Farley. It's when Sandler's the waiter and he's doing the pepper.

[Urban]

So funny.

[Shane Gillis]

The Italian restaurant Farley breaking Sandler.

[Urban]

Is it Christy Alley?

[Shane Gillis]

I'm not sure who the lady is, but it's Farley or Sandler's. Like, would you like some cracked peppers? And Farley's at. At the table, he's like, I would. Thank you. You just see sailor, like,

[German]

why.

[Shane Gillis]

Yeah, just be the dick, man. Share rocks. You know what else rules, you know, another good Farley. Anything you want, you ask me in dirty Work. Oh, he's like, anything you need. Can I stay at your place? You see, the thing is this.

[Gerb]

It's dirty work where he's hitting the

[Shane Gillis]

jukebox and he's like 57 Rolling Stones

[Urban]

street fight like G. You hit G8. Oh, you're right. Now your nephew's can be exorcism to sleep.

[Shane Gillis]

Yeah, it's like the shiny.

[Urban]

He's going, yeah.

[Shane Gillis]

Oh, no, that's me. Yeah. What else is going on, fellas? Was a good pod.

[Bill]

Oh, dude. Did anything happen with Vince McMahon being in. Is he on trial? Cow like evil ass hair.

[Shane Gillis]

I saw him going like 150 miles an hour.

[Urban]

Yeah, I Saw that video.

[Gerb]

I thought that might have been old. I don't know.

[Shane Gillis]

I don't know if he's in trouble.

[Urban]

I don't know. That guy straight up looks evil now with his eyes all up.

[Shane Gillis]

I think he's also boys with Trump. I think he's fine.

[Urban]

He's like, I can do whatever I want.

[Gerb]

He's definitely gonna be new face poles are freaking me the out. Yeah.

[Bill]

Yeah.

[Shane Gillis]

Was that that fake or what was the verdict on that?

[Urban]

I don't know.

[Bill]

It's our new Will Smith.

[Gerb]

This is the new slap.

[Shane Gillis]

Was that real or fake?

[Bill]

See Jim Carrey's face, and I don't believe it.

[Urban]

You guys thought the Will Smith Chris

[Bill]

Rock slap was a work, and I thought it was just a funny.

[Shane Gillis]

For, like, three years. You could make.

[Gerb]

You're just drinking and you're like, dude, did you remember that if you get

[Shane Gillis]

anyone to make someone talk about it

[Bill]

and they get very interested, they do,

[Gerb]

like, the eye colors.

[Shane Gillis]

It was nuts. Yeah, the slap, dude.

[Bill]

It's crazy.

[Shane Gillis]

I think enough time has passed. We can start talking about it again. Resurrect. That was crazy.

[Bill]

I agree with that a lot.

[Shane Gillis]

I love it.

[Urban]

Do you think he sat back down and then won best act, Best actor? He won the best award.

[German]

Awesome.

[Bill]

Keep my wife for what?

[Urban]

Could you imagine blowing your nose in Roger Goodell's tie and then winning the Super Bowl?

[Shane Gillis]

Serena Williams thing?

[Gerb]

Okay, that was good, though.

[Shane Gillis]

It was good.

[Urban]

Good.

[Shane Gillis]

It.

[Bill]

He's back, though, right?

[Gerb]

Like King Richard.

[Urban]

No, he tried rapping and it got weird.

[Shane Gillis]

Oh, yeah, no, that one. I like girls. Everyone's like, all right, dude, go the

[Gerb]

concert in London with saying like, that.

[Bill]

I'm not gay.

[Shane Gillis]

Yeah, I gay.

[German]

And I. I'm not wearing a wire either.

[Gerb]

Billy has, like, a really extended theory, probably not for here, but about that

[Bill]

as just like, once you get into, like, a. A rap shoot where you're like, I need 15 girls naked dancing around me. I'm not gay, I'm straight, and I'm a murderer.

[Gerb]

And we're gonna cut it at that. And that's that.

[Urban]

The O block was like, you got a phone? Follow me.

[Shane Gillis]

Followers were about it through this crazy videos. No, none. 50 shirtless black teenagers in a apartment, jumping up and down, pointing guns at

[Urban]

the camera, being a neighbor.

[Shane Gillis]

Literally the scariest videos I've ever seen in my life. I haven't been that scared since Rough Riders. And.

[Urban]

Yeah, bmx with the 4x fours.

[Shane Gillis]

DMX was putting out scary videos.

[Urban]

ATVs.

[Shane Gillis]

Oh, Buck.

[Bill]

The only other guys that hold it down like that. Are isis there's never checks in their videos people.

[Shane Gillis]

So they might have to crown ISIS has done. Yeah, all right, fair.

[Gerb]

They don't rap though.

[Shane Gillis]

They could. I'll say this about u. S propaganda. They're making it too gay.

[Bill]

Oh yeah.

[Shane Gillis]

Let other people make.

[Gerb]

What's up with the White House real. The, the, the. The pump me up intro.

[Bill]

23 year old is running the core.

[Gerb]

The White House core, whatever that is.

[Shane Gillis]

Yeah, that needs to stop.

[Gerb]

That's nuts.

[Shane Gillis]

That sucks ass.

[Gerb]

They did like a bowling one.

[Bill]

Yes.

[Gerb]

You see that?

[Bill]

I think there might be a 23 year old at the helm.

[Urban]

That's absolutely what they did.

[Shane Gillis]

I gotta be honest. It reads.

[Gerb]

Who do you think you are?

[German]

I am.

[Urban]

Yeah, but they were just probably like, hey Rubio, does your nephew want to run White House Twitter? And he was like, oh, that'd be hilarious. Be hilarious to own these.

[Shane Gillis]

We're owning the libs. It doesn't matter. Dude, I'm gonna open the straight.

[Urban]

You're. You're by yourself?

[Shane Gillis]

Yeah. You should start another. Hey st a theme park. I'm opening the straight of Hormuz off

[Urban]

the shores of Iran. Comedian Shane Gillis.

[Gerb]

We have to know someone on the knitting.

[Urban]

Open it up or you're gay.

[Shane Gillis]

You guys ever jack off?

[Urban]

Look at this. The ships this is you standing on.

[Shane Gillis]

I could speak to isis. They would be like, should have went

[Gerb]

to that Saudi thing.

[Shane Gillis]

Oh yeah, true. That's where your connects could have opened the straight.

[German]

That's your pole.

[Bill]

Do it now.

[Urban]

Yeah.

[Shane Gillis]

You think I should go to Riyadh now?

[Bill]

Yeah, go.

[Shane Gillis]

Just to open now.

[Urban]

Showing the round on a floating stage.

[Shane Gillis]

On a Chinese barge.

[Urban]

On a Billy, dude. We'll get the Chinese involved, smiley.

[Shane Gillis]

The pirates are gonna show up and go. Actually this guy's pretty funny.

[Urban]

I saw him. I saw him in the street.

[Shane Gillis]

Cliff story. Unbelievable. Cliff live in the straight of.

[Bill]

Cliff story.

[Shane Gillis]

Live straight of Hormuz.

[Urban]

It opened up. Oil went down to $60 a barrel. Half the price.

[Shane Gillis]

No, I'm gonna open the straight of Hormuz, dude.

[Gerb]

Do you know about Diego Garcia? There's this island that's like down into like the Indian Ocean. The British found this island, dude. And they can hit Asia. They can hit everywhere if they just take this over. So they took it over. It's like 50 years ago or whatever. And they can do whatever the they want.

[Shane Gillis]

Who? The British?

[Gerb]

The British nothing. And I and Trump got busted. He was like, dude, he runs a state. I'll show it to you. It's fucking nice.

[Shane Gillis]

England is nothing. It does. They send one boat, and we're there. It bombs the fools here.

[Urban]

Donald, we helped you.

[Shane Gillis]

England are bums these days.

[Urban]

Yeah, but you don't want to get warmed up. They're like. They could be like Jankos. They could come back true for sure.

[Shane Gillis]

I mean, they're capable of pure evil.

[Urban]

Is that. Are we back to colonizing?

[Bill]

They're the only one who had the real white slaves.

[Urban]

Yeah.

[Bill]

Down, bro.

[Urban]

Yeah, dude. You really think about that? They come back like John Wick. They're like, oh, you.

[Bill]

We're gonna make him slaves.

[Shane Gillis]

The white.

[Gerb]

And like, Trump. Trump said some. I can't.

[German]

I don't know.

[Gerb]

It's some.

[Shane Gillis]

Yeah. Trump will lead classified. He'll let classified slip in every meeting.

[Urban]

We're lucky he's married, because if he was trying to get.

[Gerb]

Still, pull him out, dude.

[Urban]

It takes one spot.

[Gerb]

The thing snapped on his finger, and he's like, I would have hid the pain.

[Shane Gillis]

He's definitely still trying to get.

[Urban]

Oh, no. I know, but I'm saying, if it

[Shane Gillis]

was out, I don't think marriage has ever held that boy back.

[Urban]

I don't think Melania was. He's like, I can't. I love Melania.

[Shane Gillis]

Did you watch the movie?

[Gerb]

Well, I started it.

[Shane Gillis]

It's the Milania movie. I cannot wait. Number one is on.

[Bill]

You got to make Lamar and Nate watch it with you.

[Urban]

Oh, yeah.

[Gerb]

It's really.

[Urban]

Well, I kind of just want to watch. I just want to watch it.

[Shane Gillis]

It's gonna be hilarious.

[Gerb]

Dude, you know what's nuts? It's like, the soundtrack must have cost a fortune.

[Shane Gillis]

Well, they got.

[Urban]

No, no. They got sued by. No, no. All, like, all the bands that are in it. They just took all the music they wanted or put.

[Gerb]

It's like a Pump Me up vid with drone footage and with hot millennial walk around.

[Shane Gillis]

Yeah. All right. I will have to. I will have to sit them.

[Gerb]

But it gets beat.

[Urban]

They.

[Gerb]

She goes into, like, fashion, and there's a bunch of dudes, like, measuring her for dresses. I'm shutting this up.

[Bill]

Yeah. Not for you.

[Shane Gillis]

Yeah, I wouldn't mind watching the measurements. What's going on there?

[Gerb]

Nah, poor shots.

[Urban]

Me.

[Gerb]

When you get to the part, you'll shut it off, too.

[Shane Gillis]

Okay, well, I'm not gonna ever watch it. I will never watch that.

[Bill]

There might have been a secret message in or something.

[Gerb]

I just wanted to see what it was.

[Urban]

Yeah, they turned them all into Manchurian candidates. Yeah. Do you know if you watched Melania? That was what MK Ultra led to

[Gerb]

I mean, I think was Melania.

[Shane Gillis]

So wait, does your boy, your guy's boy Trump that you guys voted for? Does he.

[German]

This.

[Shane Gillis]

Right now, we're on Rocky that you guys voted for for.

[Gerb]

It's.

[Shane Gillis]

You actually say on how awesome he

[Bill]

was literally five minutes ago. When you're like, dude, he's the man. You got to admit it. When?

[Shane Gillis]

Last week. Last week? Yeah. Oh, no, that was. You said he didn't have the juice. I said he still definitely has the juice.

[Urban]

He doesn't need juice.

[Shane Gillis]

The juice is. No, no, no, no. When he comes to talking, the boy still got it. You were trying to say he lost a step. He's losing a little bit.

[Urban]

Oh, yeah.

[Matt McCusker]

His fastball.

[Urban]

He's not.

[Shane Gillis]

No, no, that's stable now. Now, as soon as he said it, I watched him looks great. I watched him throw about one of.

[Gerb]

Right now. This air looks amazing, dude.

[Shane Gillis]

One of six.

[Urban]

It's like Nolan Ryan at the end. Remember, Nolan Ryan was like this great documentary.

[Shane Gillis]

I just listen. I just listened to Bill say he lost his fastball. Then I watched a clip of him going, I just passed a test. That would be impossible for you. You too. And I said, this guy still got it. What are we talking about now? I'm not now. The juice is different than when he got decision making, when he got hit

[Bill]

with Epstein and he let her pretty much hit. Like, why are we fighting?

[Shane Gillis]

He's like, why are we fighting? That was a low point. That was bad. That was a low point. As far as juice goes. Low point. The juice.

[Urban]

Oh, what about.

[German]

What are you guys talking about?

[Gerb]

I have a retarded theory that Obama and Trump are actually friends. And this has all been a psyop to wrap up the Middle East. We're just going to wrap it up. We're going to put in a little bow. It's going to be ours. And they pretended that they were close. They were enemies now.

[Shane Gillis]

This could be the end of us.

[Gerb]

Obama was actually like, you know what? You'll never be president of the United States. And that was actually like a little, like, dubbing, like, dude, you will be the president.

[Bill]

This is what you don't understand, though.

[Shane Gillis]

Shane. You play this, right?

[Gerb]

Five. In chess.

[Bill]

You play this, plays it with five at a time.

[Shane Gillis]

It's Obama.

[Bill]

Yeah, we. There was a. There's a lot of dudes on the Internet right now, like, going with some crazy theories, and they're like, it's CHESS and it's 5D. Trump's in control.

[Shane Gillis]

I was like, I did see that, guys. Oh, yeah, it was. It was a dumb. And you can tweet ourselves. It was 5D. He was like, it's chess. It's 5D. And he goes, the reason we took Venezuela so we could take Iran. It's like, I could have come up with that one.

[Bill]

Exactly.

[Shane Gillis]

Do it.

[Urban]

It's your friend who dates a stripper who swears she's not a. She's not a.

[Bill]

That's what I was talking.

[Urban]

She likes to dance.

[Shane Gillis]

Last week of the dudes posting videos of the Lord.

[Gerb]

Artistic expression.

[Shane Gillis]

Dancing.

[Urban]

She's dancing. How much money you make? How much money you make in a night?

[Shane Gillis]

You're a hooker.

[German]

Possibly.

[Shane Gillis]

Yeah.

[Bill]

That's the greatest.

[Shane Gillis]

The dudes who post videos on Twitter.

[Bill]

Tel Aviv is getting bombed to hell. And someone's like, that's not Tel Aviv. That's actually from 2016. They just said, I mean, dude, it's a war. It's like you're literally on Twitter.

[Shane Gillis]

I don't even know. I don't know where to find a single piece of information.

[Urban]

It's done. Oh, don't. That's. Honestly, the. The greatest win in Russia's history was just destroying us. Having validated.

[Shane Gillis]

Now you're being tricked into thinking Russia gives a. Russia's doing nothing dude. Who gets a. About Russia.

[Bill]

Ever see that?

[Shane Gillis]

Dude, you know what it is? Probably when Ukraine.

[Urban]

You know when you. When you just have a headache and you just always attribute it to hungover, you go, Russia. Hung over, you go, Russia. Russia's like, I've done this now you're

[Gerb]

getting close to the Cold War, kids.

[Shane Gillis]

It's not Russia. Yeah. Get the real headache.

[Urban]

Yep.

[Shane Gillis]

You'll get there. And then you're gonna go, yo. This feeling. None of my problems are real. It's real.

[Urban]

Why do they make all our decisions?

[Gerb]

It's like that thing with the IQ charts.

[Shane Gillis]

Like Belkin Ron says, low iq. No offense. I love that dude's lab in Russia is the equivalent of my dad being like, I really was going to nuke us. Trump's a Russian spot.

[Urban]

You go, Russia. And then you go, it's not. It's not Russia, but it's somebody.

[Shane Gillis]

And I'll give you a hint.

[Urban]

Canada the whole time.

[Shane Gillis]

I'll give you a hint who it is. I'm not allowed to say who it is. Is he actually.

[Bill]

Is he going to do a concert there?

[Shane Gillis]

No, that's a. Oh. If he did a concert. Tel Aviv, either they would kill somebody.

[Bill]

You ever watched a video like it was like.

[Shane Gillis]

Or that they did television.

[Gerb]

I thought Barenthal doing Dog Day was AI.

[Bill]

So did I. Yeah. That's crazy. But you ever watch a documentary about the monster next door? You ever see it about the guy who like, worked.

[Shane Gillis]

We've talked about this. Yeah, it's the guy who worked at a like Ford factory. And they were like, aren't you the Butcher of Treblinka? And he was like, what? Like, how did Israel for trial? Yeah, it was just a, like a random dude.

[Bill]

The best part of the whole thing.

[Shane Gillis]

Maybe the butcher. The best part of the entire, like, you're the guy who worked at the concentration camp, right?

[Gerb]

No, they have a trial and the guy goes, how did he get here? He's like by train over the Oak.

[Shane Gillis]

My favorite though is I used to. Yeah, I used to talk about doing that as a bit. And then. Louie, never mind. But just the idea of a guy at like a factory just like pushing buttons and then somebody being like, aren't you the Butcher of D?

[Gerb]

I was just showing. Billy, stop.

[Shane Gillis]

Oh, just don't say that. Yo, I swear to God. You were a SS officer. The.

[German]

Up.

[Shane Gillis]

Dude, stop joking around about that. You're on a flight, you're like looking down at Jerusalem like, oh, go to Israel.

[Gerb]

Remember the old Lucky Louie clip when he's in an AA meeting and he's like, you guys are just all. No, do you remember this? I just shared it to Bill. Very good. No, it's a good ass show.

[Urban]

Lucky was great on HBO in that documentary.

[Bill]

There's a. He goes to Jerusalem and he has to get a lawyer. And everyone's like, no one's picking the lawyer. The lawyer, Jewish dude rolls up in a Porsche, like, I'll do it.

[Urban]

That's how many. She's the great. How many people did you kill? Oh, we could get him up.

[Bill]

What's your 401k? You got a. That guy's name is classic.

[German]

What is that called?

[Urban]

Monster.

[Shane Gillis]

Yes.

[Urban]

Monster Next Door.

[Bill]

Devil next Door.

[Shane Gillis]

What was the. What, what. What was his ethnicity? Was he Ukrainian? Polish? It was hilarious. He's like from.

[Gerb]

In a Polish neighborhood.

[Shane Gillis]

It's the people. The Polish people in Cleveland are like, he wouldn't do that.

[German]

That's he.

[Shane Gillis]

He's the head of our sauerkraut club.

[Bill]

Yoram Sheftel.

[Shane Gillis]

I'll take a case. Rolls up in a porch.

[Urban]

I'm gonna watch this. I'm excited to watch this documentary.

[Gerb]

It's great.

[Shane Gillis]

It's great. Also you. Really? Yeah. You'll see, you'll see. You're not going to know.

[Urban]

Oh, I'm gonna Watch it. I got wbc and I got this documentary. World Baseball.

[Shane Gillis]

Baseball. Dude, we lost to the wops.

[Bill]

Did we?

[Urban]

Dude, the wap. I'm gonna tell you right now, Italy's a fun team.

[Shane Gillis]

Aaronola was dealing tonight.

[Urban]

Yeah.

[Bill]

Like, all the countries play each other.

[Gerb]

I didn't even.

[Urban]

They. Italy rules.

[Shane Gillis]

Italy. Well, they're not actually Italian. They're all just American dudes. Yeah. Yeah.

[Urban]

It's 90American. Guys.

[Gerb]

What's up with the. If you're in the Olympics, right? And you are American and you have, like, another heritage. Like, what is with that?

[Shane Gillis]

You talking about that lady skiing for China.

[Gerb]

I'm confused about.

[Shane Gillis]

Because I'll tell you what, I'm confused, too. And I was a confused person. Gave us an illusion because I don't like the support for this lady.

[Gerb]

I don't understand this.

[Urban]

I didn't even do enough fact finding out if she got paid to do it. That noise.

[Gerb]

Well, you used to have to be an amateur.

[Urban]

I don't even like it, though. I don't like it at all.

[Shane Gillis]

China over America.

[Urban]

No, come on. That the one, the only one.

[Shane Gillis]

She's incredible at what she does.

[Urban]

Wbc. I understand. Because usa, Nothing but respect. Oh, she rips.

[Bill]

She rips.

[Urban]

Isn't she a skier?

[Shane Gillis]

Nothing but respect.

[Urban]

Wbc. I'm cool with it because USA doesn't take a lot of guys and then guys go, I want to play.

[Shane Gillis]

Yeah. WBC is. There's no rules.

[Bill]

You can be.

[Shane Gillis]

Your grandma can be from. She can be half a day.

[Urban]

There's a white catcher on the. Dominican Republic. Italy, dude. Look up the white catcher on the.

[Shane Gillis]

They don't give a.

[Urban]

It's so funny. He looks like the one white kid in the hood.

[German]

Yeah.

[Urban]

And they're all like. And they watch him dance, and they're like. Every time they score, then he's like,

[Shane Gillis]

dominican Republic's playing Japan.

[Urban]

Yeah. No, they're playing Korea. Venezuela's playing Japan.

[Shane Gillis]

Oh, that's.

[Urban]

Venezuela's got a squad, though. That was a great game last night.

[Shane Gillis]

Damn, it sucks. It sucks. Israel got dry. It would have been nice. Venezuela, Israel.

[Urban]

Venezuela. Israel. Great. That would have been the ideal matchup.

[Shane Gillis]

Venezuela.

[Urban]

It's crazy to watch him and you go. You guys don't even have a leader right now.

[Bill]

Wasn't one kid like an electrician who just shut up.

[Shane Gillis]

We can stay up. We can stay up as late as we want.

[Gerb]

I don't even have.

[Urban]

Like.

[German]

We.

[Urban]

We ate ice cream for breakfast.

[Shane Gillis]

We're Venezuela. No, bro.

[Urban]

No.

[Shane Gillis]

The.

[Urban]

But Italy's fun. Vinnie Pascantino. The masqu.

[Shane Gillis]

Bro. He's the man came show little story about the Pasquatch.

[Urban]

Pasquatch is the man.

[Shane Gillis]

That's just Italian heav. I can play for Italy, dude. He. Hold on. Did I tell you? You know the Pasquatch story?

[Urban]

No, sky rules. Sky's the first baseman for the Kansas City Royals.

[Shane Gillis]

Yeah.

[Urban]

Cool as hell.

[Shane Gillis]

Oh, yeah.

[Urban]

Huge.

[Shane Gillis]

W. I forgot you were.

[Urban]

It was great.

[Shane Gillis]

It was.

[German]

Yeah.

[Shane Gillis]

So he. We. We did a show in Cleveland. The Royals were playing the Cleveland Indian or the Guardians. They. Excuse me. Excuse me. Thank you. She looks good now. Thank you for getting her correct pronouns. That's crazy that they got to you. But it must have been the backs. But he took the backs. Now he's using proper pronouns.

[German]

Me.

[Shane Gillis]

Yeah, you did earlier. But we do a show. No dude coming 84.

[Urban]

Busting out until now. Fantastic.

[Shane Gillis]

But no, they. A couple of the guys from the Royals came to the show, and then most of the guys were like, yeah, we gotta. Gotta dip out. We got a game tomorrow. Not the pass. Squatch. Coldest line I've ever heard tomorrow. I don't give a. Let's have a little fun.

[Urban]

Because you guys going out. Because you guys going out after the show. We go, yeah. And. And like, Bobby Wood Jr. And like, all the royal. All the Royals were like, all right, we're going back. We got a. We got to play tomorrow during the day.

[Shane Gillis]

Yeah.

[Urban]

And then Pasqua just, like, looks down. He goes, you guys going out?

[Shane Gillis]

Yeah.

[Urban]

He goes, it. I'm DH And I'll go out with you guys. And then right as he said that, Shane goes, a hundred dollars. You're going to hit a home run.

[Bill]

And.

[Urban]

And Vinnie was like, book it. And then we went out. I drank. Do we land in? We land in. Where was the next.

[Shane Gillis]

No, we were. We were going to a casino, know. And we get to a red light.

[Urban]

Yeah.

[Shane Gillis]

And you can see Pasquatch was thinking to himself, should probably get to bed. I gotta play the Cleveland Indian store. He just gets out of the Uber and goes at a red light. He was like. He. He'd been silent for, like, 15 minutes. And before that, he was chatting a little. And then all of a sudden, you can see the wheels were turning for a while. He goes, you know what, guys? I gotta go in. He got out at a red light.

[Urban]

I respected it because it was. It was the biggest. Best duck and roll I've seen out of a car in a while. He just disappeared into the night. And then we went next.

[Shane Gillis]

Next day, Goyard.

[Bill]

Damn.

[Shane Gillis]

Hit the home run.

[Gerb]

Really?

[Shane Gillis]

Yeah, dude. Bottom of the fourth, he's the man.

[Urban]

Katie was going nuts. I told her about it and we landed in D.C. she's like, Vinnie, win yard. And I was like, dude, Vinny went yard. He's like, no, he. We look her up. It was great.

[Shane Gillis]

Then Bobby sent me a picture of him in his. In the ice bath. Just.

[German]

He.

[Urban]

So he's on Team Italy, right? But he's like their leader. He's like their glue guy.

[Shane Gillis]

He's also the captain.

[Urban]

Yeah, he's like locker room, locker room guy.

[Shane Gillis]

Not just locker, dude. He. He had three home runs in there last.

[Urban]

Well, he was over 12 before that.

[Shane Gillis]

I know he's zero, but he.

[Urban]

He does. They have an espresso machine in the dugout, so when you hit a home run, you drink an espresso.

[Bill]

Holy jacket.

[Shane Gillis]

And they all go.

[Urban]

They put on an Armani. Yeah. They go like this, dude, they're up

[Shane Gillis]

8 nothing on the. Where does this take place?

[Urban]

Houston and Miami and San Juan, Puerto Rico and Tokyo. Now it's down to Houston.

[Shane Gillis]

Yeah, it'll be in Miami and Houston. Just Houston.

[Gerb]

Is America still in it?

[Shane Gillis]

Yeah. Thank God. We needed Italy to be Mexico and we did it.

[Urban]

Yeah, dude, our.

[Shane Gillis]

Our.

[Gerb]

Like, who do we have?

[Urban]

Oh, dude, our teammates.

[Matt McCusker]

Team.

[Urban]

Bryce Harper, Aaron Judge.

[Gerb]

All right, we got everybody.

[Urban]

Everybody.

[Shane Gillis]

Yeah, but we. We tried.

[Gerb]

We're human.

[Shane Gillis]

We tried to rest. We tried to rest some boys against the wps and the WPS went nuts. It was eight nothing.

[Urban]

Dude, they be. They put a feeding on kill. Those Italians are good with bats, which was funny.

[Shane Gillis]

Cuz the first. The first home run and they're all doing the espresso. Yeah, that's fun. They're having a good time. That's cute. Eight nothing. You're going. These do that when they turn on their country.

[Urban]

He's. Yeah. Checking the size and war. Yeah, exactly.

[Shane Gillis]

Yeah. Who would have thought the ops weren't going to be loyal?

[Urban]

First. First inning, you're like, this is. This is a lot of fun culture.

[Shane Gillis]

This is hilarious.

[Urban]

6th inning, he goes glo.

[Shane Gillis]

Yeah. I became Elliot Ness real quick. We got to put an end to this.

[Urban]

Follow the money. Follow the money. But Aaron Judge had a chance to win it. We had two runners on bottom of the ninth, two outs, and he struck out. Italy got us.

[Gerb]

He's a physical freak, dude.

[Urban]

It's crazy.

[Shane Gillis]

Were you there, there at the Garden when he was there?

[Gerb]

No.

[Urban]

Oh, that was it. It was.

[Shane Gillis]

It would have been nice for you to be.

[Gerb]

He was at your show.

[Shane Gillis]

Yeah. Holy he is a horse.

[Urban]

Yeah, he looks like a horse.

[Shane Gillis]

It's hilarious.

[Gerb]

He's a horse, man.

[Shane Gillis]

He looks like he walks into a room. You go, what the.

[Urban]

Oh, my God.

[Shane Gillis]

But also, it's because he's proportionally correct.

[Gerb]

Yeah, that's what I mean.

[Bill]

Before, dude, it's terrifying. We were in Arizona.

[Shane Gillis]

We saw this dude.

[German]

Dude, remember that crazy dude?

[Gerb]

We were in Arizona. We saw this cowboy walking in a coffee shop, and I thought my eyes were playing tricks on me. And Billy was like, yo, Spade, walk up to that dude, and it was like he was. He was proportional with jeans, like, normal height and everything.

[Shane Gillis]

NBA player you can watch walk by and it's all bones free. Like, long arms. Is huge. A proportionately correct dude. That's 68.

[Urban]

It's crazy.

[Shane Gillis]

Is hilarious.

[Urban]

Well, like, LeBron's 69, and he's pretty.

[Shane Gillis]

He's pretty proportional, promotional.

[Urban]

He's prepared.

[Gerb]

I can't watch him with his. I see so many highlights, Jordan.

[Shane Gillis]

Yeah.

[Gerb]

No, they just send me all this, like, LeBron flops.

[Urban]

See, what's funny is my algorithm is all Larry Bird talk videos.

[Gerb]

You see the Dr. Joy, Gilly.

[Shane Gillis]

Oh, I just love all those brusqueies. Would you.

[Gerb]

Everyone was great.

[Shane Gillis]

Beer, dude. I love.

[Urban]

I love Larry.

[Gerb]

Legend ruling the heck get. Gilly and Dr. J were making fun of Bird's neck. It was wild.

[Shane Gillis]

Did you see. I think it was Doc Rivers. He played for the Hawks when Larry was like, I'm gonna hit this three in this corner. And then he did. And you see the entire Hawks bench, because it was right in front of their bench, like,

[Urban]

there's a story.

[Shane Gillis]

The coach came in the next day and, like, put on film, was like,

[Gerb]

did you watch the ABA thing?

[Urban]

No.

[Shane Gillis]

Try to stop him.

[Bill]

The what, Daniel?

[Gerb]

You guys watch the AMA thing?

[Shane Gillis]

This was slick.

[Gerb]

He made a whole documentary on the aba.

[Bill]

Oh, five.

[Gerb]

And everybody pretty new.

[Urban]

Yeah, I'll absolutely watch that.

[Bill]

Scoring 100, though.

[Shane Gillis]

Wilt is the goat. That's 100 points.

[Urban]

And then just everybody, by the way, illegally, probably at the time. He's taking down white ladies, and they're like, yo, he's like, 100.

[Shane Gillis]

What are you gonna do about it?

[Urban]

Yeah, I'm up here. He just holds white women up here like cookies on top of the refrigerator.

[German]

That's it.

[Urban]

Give me back my life, God damn it.

[Shane Gillis]

Real gentlemen.

[Bill]

You ever see him, like, doing track? He's somewhat proportional.

[Shane Gillis]

He is slightly proportional.

[Urban]

Yeah. There's that clip of him being, like, him and Michael Jordan or Bill Walton's telling the story is It.

[Shane Gillis]

The elevator.

[Urban]

No, about. They're at the 90s, all. All century team or whatever. And Wilton, Michael Jordan arguing about who's the best of all time. And someone's like, well, championships or whatever. And then Wilt's like, you know, my friend was telling me that the other day and he's got 11 of them. And he was talking about Bill Russell. And you're like, oh, Then he got him at the end.

[Shane Gillis]

You're like, oh, yeah.

[Urban]

Wilt Chamberlain scored 100 points with no three pointer.

[Shane Gillis]

When you watch Will highlights, it is funny because he is good. Yeah, he like looks almost modern.

[Urban]

Modern. Yeah.

[Gerb]

When you watch the soul power thing, they. They show the. In the soul package, show the old a. The before the aba. They show the old NBA and it's so beat. And then they're like, dude, they. They brought in a three pointer basketball.

[Urban]

Yeah.

[Bill]

It was like laces on the ball.

[Urban]

Yeah. But they can tackle each other. That's what's crazy.

[Shane Gillis]

That's where Bill Lambert came in. You know, the 89 shout out nerd.

[Urban]

Bill Lamb. Beer was a problem. He was just pissing everyone off. He was the original rage bait.

[Shane Gillis]

You might have averaged five and he

[Urban]

just slapped people's arms.

[Gerb]

The Montana documentary was that he played basketball. Joe Montana was like as good at basketball as he was at football.

[Shane Gillis]

No, she's not.

[Urban]

He was a running quarterback.

[Gerb]

Well, in the documentary, they're like, he was good.

[Bill]

That's wild.

[Shane Gillis]

I used to be obsessed with Jim Lambir. Averaged nine and five. I was close.

[Bill]

Nine and five?

[Shane Gillis]

Yeah.

[Bill]

That's like my stats.

[Shane Gillis]

And he's a legend. Just because he was a hogy on Detroit.

[Urban]

He was a hog on Detroit. That would cause problems. People hated Bill Lambert. No, watch anything you could find.

[Shane Gillis]

Hilarious, dude.

[Urban]

Watch anything.

[Shane Gillis]

He would just go out and fight

[German]

all the best players, dude.

[Urban]

Hard fouls. He'd be like, yeah, he was a goon. He was straight up a goon in the NBA. He was a 6 foot 10 goon. He's like, I'll slap that guy. That's like hack a shack.

[Shane Gillis]

Like for the baby. I'm gonna punch Michael Jordan in the mouth. All right, get out there, you idiot.

[Urban]

Did they spot people in for Shaq? They just go like, I just club his forearms. Please stop doing that.

[Shane Gillis]

Diesel's king. Diesel's my favorite player ever.

[Urban]

Number one with a bullet. He just came here, he's like, I don't know.

[Shane Gillis]

Yeah, free throws, Jack.

[Urban]

He like, I want a dunk. Do you want me to dunk it? Yeah.

[Bill]

His bed In MTB Cribs me up.

[Shane Gillis]

Yeah, it was a little scary. Yeah, I remember that even. Yeah, I never saw the movie. Yeah, Blue Chips rock.

[Gerb]

Was that like, what part of his career is that?

[Urban]

He was a rookie. He was a rookie with the Magic.

[Shane Gillis]

Yeah, it was early, cuz.

[Urban]

That's why Anthony Hardaway was in it, too.

[Shane Gillis]

Yeah, okay.

[Urban]

He didn't even want it. Jay and I used to do the Nick Nolte from Blue Chips constantly. Come on, Neon dude, Nick Nolte is the best of. He's like, all right, tell me you didn't shave it.

[Shane Gillis]

He's just, what do you like better, Blue Chips or Monster Energy?

[Bill]

Everybody knows White Monster, Zero Ultra.

[Urban]

That's the og.

[Bill]

It kicked off this whole Zero Sugar Energy drink thing. But Ultra is a whole lineup now. You've got Strawberry Dream, Blue Hawaiian Sunrise, and Vice Guava. And they all bring the Monster Energy punch.

[German]

So if you've been living in the

[Bill]

white can branch out. Ultra's got a flavor for every vibe,

[Shane Gillis]

and every single one is Zero Sugar.

[Bill]

Tap the banner to learn more.

[Shane Gillis]

He got games, dude.

[Gerb]

Both of them are raped.

[Urban]

He got game.

[Gerb]

Ray Allen's great.

[Shane Gillis]

Jesus Shuttlesworth.

[Urban]

Oh, come on.

[Shane Gillis]

Took his official visit to Elon University in the meant.

[Urban]

He did he really?

[Shane Gillis]

Yeah. When he bangs those white chicks.

[Bill]

Never saw threesome.

[Shane Gillis]

I never. I never even got close to what you.

[Urban]

That's why you went to the movie. It's because you watch Game.

[Bill]

I remember kids used to say it in high school, like, dude, Elon, the women dude ratio is crazy.

[Shane Gillis]

It was.

[Gerb]

I never even heard of the place.

[Shane Gillis]

Didn't help.

[Bill]

Yeah, nothing you can do with that information.

[Shane Gillis]

Yeah, there was a lot of Christian. Yeah, there's nothing you could do about it. There's a lot of babes, but doesn't help when you're 300 pounds and quitting the football team when you're not on the team and 300 pounds, it's not that cool.

[Urban]

Yeah, but they say that all the time. Time I went to Arizona and everyone's like, oh, Arizona party school. You're like, I was poor. That's a party school. Yeah, but I was poor and had to work. That's where I got it was not at the.

[Gerb]

We used to drive to Penn State and they'd be like, you think this is cool? Arizona.

[Urban]

Arizona.

[Shane Gillis]

I'll be honest. I just did Arizona recently and it holds up.

[Urban]

It rocks. Arizona State is insane. Arizona State.

[Bill]

Get a little off, bro.

[Gerb]

Dude, am I remembering this right? Is that where Phil Mickelson went? Went Phil Mickelson like Bets golf in Arizona with Arizona kids. I might not be remembering that right.

[Matt McCusker]

Watch new episodes of Matt and Shane's Secret podcast on Spotify, do.

[Gerb]

You?