Ep 611 - Goblin AKA Nick

Summary

Matt and Shane's Secret Podcast

Episode 611 – Goblin AKA Nick

Host: Matt McCusker
Guest: Nick (aka Goblin)
Date: April 29, 2026

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Episode Overview

This episode features YouTuber and storyteller "Goblin" (Nick), known for his candid, often comedic recounting of experiences with drugs and addiction. Covering everything from Nick’s infamous "smoking crack in high school" story to broader discussions about drug culture, harm reduction, and the current dangers of fentanyl, the conversation is marked by humor, honesty, and genuine insight into addiction, recovery, and growing up.
The episode oscillates between hilarious drug war stories and frank discussions about the risks of drug use—especially in today’s environment—and the reality of being a creator producing content about taboo subjects.

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Key Discussion Points & Insights

Goblin's Origin Story & YouTube Journey

[00:11–05:00]

• Nick introduces himself as a podcaster/YouTuber known for discussing his drug addiction, now "California sober" (still uses shrooms and weed in moderation).
• YouTube has demonetized his channels for his controversial content. Nick notes:

  "They denied me my 100k plaque... my million sub plaque. I have three channels that are owed plaques, denied all but one." (Nick, 01:44)

• Popular videos cover stories about drugs ("my first time smoking crack")—YouTube’s support teams universally deny channel recognition because of this content.
• Matt expresses respect for Nick’s honesty and reach.

The Infamous "Smoking Crack" Story

[02:17-09:00]

• Nick details making and smoking crack for the first time in high school with friends—originating partly as a joke but informed by curiosity and rap music references.
  • They found a step-by-step guide on Erowid and YouTube.
• Nick’s mother later finds the "crack spoon" and still brings it up.
• The experience itself was short-lived, with little real effect, but became a teenage badge of honor.

  “It was like that condensed into like two minutes...punched my mom's cabinet, really hard, just for no reason." (Nick, 07:25)

• The group agrees never to do it again—a "gentleman’s agreement."

YouTube, Demonization & Drug Content

[09:23–15:30]

• Nick explains how his content (storytelling rather than "live use") still led to full demonetization of his main channel and lack of sponsorship opportunities.
• Matt references other drug-focused YouTubers (e.g., PsychedSubstance) who have had similar issues.
• Deep dive into dangers of new "gas station" drugs (e.g., 7OH/70) and exploitative industry practices:

  "It's nuts, dude. Gas station. Every smoke shop in the country..." (Nick, 11:39)

• Nick details how some hemp/conglomerate businesses push potent, untested substances for profit.

Drug Market Dangers, Fentanyl & Synthetic Substances

[12:45–15:35], [45:47–70:00]

• Nick discusses how the hemp loophole enables near-dispensary grade products, but for every decent product, there are many others that are borderline poison.
• Adulteration is rampant: heavy metals, pesticides, research chemicals in shroom bars.
• Fentanyl’s pervasiveness is explored later in the podcast, including Nick’s thoughts on gas station "heroin-like" drugs, dangers of testing kits, and the fact that street pills ("perks", "norcos") are almost all fentanyl now.

Funniest & Darkest Drug Stories

[19:29–24:36], [64:24–67:00]

• Nick’s Walmart theft story: stole/returned for months, finally caught—put on felony probation at 17, leading to probation and rehab; recounted the experience on YouTube, launching his channel.
• Fallout from synthetic acid ("25-i NbomeT")—hospitalized after a bad trip, leading to residential rehab.
• Most tragic personal tale: A former cocaine plug suffered a psychotic break after taking shrooms, causing irreversible injury to his children and going to prison.

  "He goes in the room his kids are sleeping in and like beats the out of them. One took permanent damage... all because one night." (Nick, 64:39)

The "Annual Drug Rankings" & Substance Stereotypes

[25:09–30:46]

• Nick ranks DXM (robo-tripping) as “bottom of the barrel”—a "poverty drug."

  “Imagine if every acid trip you had was kinda scary, didn’t last as long and your stomach hurt the whole time. That’s basically DXM.” (Nick, 26:19)

• Opiate pills rank low for Nick; he prefers honesty about their danger and lack of utility.
• Discussion of Xanax: Nick says he both hates and "loves" it (problem solver, but too addictive and dangerous).
• Matt notes how shocking it is that Adderall and Xanax remain easily prescribed together: "If I took an Adderall and a Xanax I'd be trapped." (Matt, 30:53)

Harm Reduction, Recovery & Advice

[41:46–44:53, 47:13–51:34, 55:42–56:35]

• Nick describes his videos as evolved from pure storytelling to including more life lessons, subtly encouraging safer behaviors.
• Advice for young people:

  "Get it out of your system while you're young... moderation is key. It’s good to get it out when you’re young—you’re never too far gone." (Nick, 42:45)

• Moderation, not abstinence-only: Nick dismisses DARE-style messaging as ineffective.
• Harm reduction strategies:
  • Never bring the drugs home or use alone.
  • Use party drugs in social, limited settings.
  • Don’t cross self-imposed lines.
• Candid about how quitting drugs involved switching to heavy weed/edibles just to "get through it," until cravings faded.

Social Anxiety, Functionality, and Drug Use

[53:10–62:56]

• Both Matt and Nick discuss using alcohol or weed to manage social situations—Nick, before podcasts; Matt, before stand-up. Both note that ultimately, being sober is better for performance but difficult.
• Nick admits that after years of socializing exclusively while intoxicated, being straight is a challenge.
• They agree that repeated exposure ("exposure therapy") makes some anxieties fade, such as Nick overcoming a fear of flying.

Drugs, Parenting, & Societal Attitudes

[44:53–45:47, 71:38–72:22]

• Discussing drug talk with kids, Matt says:

  "You have to stop it eventually... there's just something shitty about it, especially once you have kids."

• Matt jokes about the absurdity of being blamed by parents ("how about you police your kids?").
• Nick tries not to glamorize drug use, emphasizing consequences as much as chaos.

The State of Drug Use: Today vs. 10 Years Ago

[29:17–30:35, 67:32–68:35]

• Opiate and pill use is seen as "a dying breed"—fentanyl is everywhere now, even being sought-after.
• Both agree:

  "No pills. No powders. Just... have a good time smoking weed, doing mushrooms, drink if you really are trying to, like, party." (Matt, 68:12)

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Notable Quotes & Memorable Moments

• On YouTube’s Wariness:
  "You go on my channel... homepage video is, like, my first time smoking crack." (Nick, 01:56)

• On Cooking Crack:
  "We found this thread with a YouTube video linked... old style YouTube, Comic Sans font—it was just how to make crack." (Nick, 04:24)

• On Adulterant Dangers:
  "For every one, like, solid product you can buy in the hemp market, there’s probably five more that are like borderline poison." (Nick, 14:13)

• On Social Drinking & Performing:
  "I had to have two drinks before I performed... now I prefer doing stand-up completely sober...just objectively, I'm better." (Matt, 54:02)

• Advice for Recovering Addicts:
  "Smoke your way out of it. Genuinely smoke yourself so stupid, eat a bunch of edibles... until eventually, you're not feening so hard." (Nick, 51:22)

• On Fentanyl Test Kits:
  "Even a trace amount... will test positive for fentanyl—probably good though, better safe than sorry." (Nick, 68:58)

• On Harm Reduction and Youth:
  "You're never too far gone, bro. I've met some crazy motherfuckers... they're just normal guys now." (Nick, 43:04)

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Timestamps for Major Segments

• Intro, Who is Goblin? [00:00–01:44]
• YouTube Demonetization & Safe Use [01:44–03:17]
• Crack Story, High School Wildness [02:17–09:04]
• Drug Market Exploits & Gas Station Drugs [11:26–15:35]
• Rehab, Probation, YouTube Beginnings [19:29–24:36]
• Drug Rankings (DXM, Opiates, Xanax) [25:12–30:46]
• Harm Reduction Philosophy & Recovery [41:46–44:53, 55:42–56:35]
• Fentanyl, Street Drug Contamination [45:47–51:34, 68:35–70:05]
• Tragic Plug Story [64:24–67:16]
• Creating while Sober & Social Anxiety [53:10–62:56]
• Online Hate, Parenting, and Content Responsibility [70:36–72:22]

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Takeaways

• The Landscape Has Changed: Fentanyl and synthetic drugs have dramatically shifted the risks for young drug users.
• YouTube and Drug Content: Channels like Nick’s operate in a gray zone—treading the line between education, entertainment, and censorship.
• Harm Reduction Rules: Never use alone, keep drugs out of your home, and use moderation as a guiding principle.
• Recovery Is Individual: Nick is candid about what worked for him—edibles, weed, and moderation—not rigid abstinence.
• The War Stories are Cautionary: While the stories are funny, the underlying message is real: things can—and do—get out of hand fast, and the consequences can be severe.

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Tone & Format

• The tone is alternately comedic, brutally honest, and conversational, in line with Matt and Shane’s style and Nick’s candid storytelling.
• Quotes are verbatim where specified.
• Segments and advice are rooted in lived experience; little preaching, mostly humor and reflection.

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For New Listeners

This episode is a wild yet sobering journey through the world of drug use and its consequences, with plenty of humor and hard-earned wisdom. Even if you haven’t heard Goblin before, this is a thorough introduction to his worldview and the realities of today’s party (and post-party) culture.
Big takeaway: Everything in moderation, test your stuff if you must use, and for God’s sake, stay off the fence!

Transcript

[Matt]

Wow.

[Nick]

Wow, Wes.

[Matt]

All right. What's up, Nick?

[Nick]

What's going on here with Nick?

[Matt]

I would say successful YouTuber, dude. How do you. How do you. How do you like to present yourself to the world?

[Nick]

I'm a YouTuber. I'm a podcaster. I talk about, you know, my drug addiction. I say previous, but, yeah, I still enjoy drugs, you know, California sober guy. Yeah, yeah. California sober. You know, shrooms, weed, a little bit of here and there. You know, everything in moderation is the key.

[Matt]

Well, my. Yeah, one of my. Someone. Someone I know put me onto your content, who had been a bit of a druggist himself, and he's also on the up and up as well. But he. He was like, you got to watch this. You got to get this guy in your pot. Whenever I see that, I'm like, yeah, yeah. And I watch like, damn, your is. Your is sick.

[Nick]

I've gotten comments get you on my show too.

[Matt]

Really?

[Nick]

I've gotten quite a few.

[Matt]

There it is, dude.

[Nick]

You gotta line it up.

[Matt]

That was just a universe. That was the great mind just working.

[Nick]

Yeah. Came together. I was curious. I. I had asked you before we came down, too, why you got me on the show. Because I looked at your other guests, and I'm like, dude, talk about, like, Mayan hieroglyph guys. And then, like, here I come walking.

[Matt]

Hey, the. My heroglyph guy is not out just yet.

[Nick]

Oh.

[Matt]

Oh, spoiler. No, I don't care. That's fine. The. I don't know, dude. I feel like you're a great fit. I don't know what you're talking about.

[Nick]

Yeah, well, no, I was just. I. I more so meant, like, category of person, you know, like, you're having, like, celebrities on the show, you know,

[Matt]

I mean, and then I walked in this way. The cookie crumbles, dude. That's the way I like. I mean, you're. Here's the thing. You're no small fry, dude. You've had how many followers you got a bunch of followers.

[Nick]

I have a million on my main YouTube channel, but that's, you know, now YouTube doesn't like me.

[Matt]

You're. What are you talking about? Well, it's an honor to have you on here.

[Nick]

I appreciate it. I'm really. I'm truly honored. I'm truly honored to be here.

[Matt]

That's all that matters.

[Nick]

Yeah. Yeah. Counts.

[Matt]

Follow. A million is sick, though.

[Nick]

It is. No, no. They denied me my 100k plaque. They denied me my million sub plaque. Why? And I have three channels that are owed plaques, and they Denied all of them except one.

[Matt]

Why? Is it because of the content matter?

[Nick]

I mean, bro, you go on my channel right now and you're not subscribed to my, like, homepage video is like, my first time smoking crack and, like, YouTube any. It doesn't matter what country the support agents in, they're going to that channel and they're saying no. Well, you know, so it's. Yeah, it was fake crack. No, like, we really cooked crack when I was seven.

[Matt]

I know.

[Nick]

Smoked it, but.

[Matt]

Oh, so that's how far it goes back. Take me all the way back. So how did you.

[Nick]

So how do I. What? Just gets get started, like, around or.

[Matt]

Well, yeah, but what I want to know is at what point was that a crack idea to be like. Let's just YouTube this.

[Nick]

It was a coke idea. It was after school on. On a Tuesday.

[Matt]

It's a funny thing to say at a podium. Well, actually, it was not a crack. It was a coke idea.

[Nick]

A little less.

[Matt]

Yeah, so take me all the way different. How did. How did. Give me the origin story.

[Nick]

So when we had gotten out of school one day, it was junior year of high school, and I was going to this alternative school with, like, all the D gen kids, and I got sent there because my GPA was below 1 whoa at a 0.8. So they didn't like that. And they're like, dude, you might be retarded. Like, you got to go to the alternative school. And at the time I was just, like, smoking weed and taking Xanax. So, like, it wasn't too bad, you know, I was still, like, kind of doing my thing, you know, just not doing too good in school. But after I got sent to the alternative school, it's like, okay, these kids are all, like, actually, like, nodding out in gym class and shit.

[Matt]

Yeah, yeah.

[Nick]

Like, these kids are bad. So I was right in there with him, you know, I was like, fuck it, let's have some fun.

[Matt]

That's kind of nice. You just got better.

[Nick]

Just got, you know, got worse. So I had met a friend named Ashton who was, like, just a really big cokehead and, like, kind of into everything. He did coke, heroin, like, the whole shebang. And one day he comes over to my house after school. We got a ride home together, and we're sitting in my kitchen and we've been doing blow for, like, every day for, like, probably at least a week.

[Matt]

You're 17.

[Nick]

Yeah. Yeah. And it was like, I was very fortunate to have him as a friend because he sold a lot of shit and I was broke, but he would let me do everything because I drove him around.

[Matt]

Yeah.

[Nick]

So it was like, hey, like drive me to the serve and like I'll give you two lines, dude, it's the best offer I've ever had. Working at Wendy's, we're driving the plug around, you know. So he comes over to my house, he's like dude, I'm really tired of doing blow. This shit's boring, honestly. And like objectively blow is kind of a boring truck, you know. So I got where he was coming from and I don't remember who said it. My other friend Kyle was also there. But it came up at one point like, what if we made crack out of it and it was a joke at first, like haha, we could, you know, that's funny. But like none of us knew what we were doing. We don't know how to do that.

[Matt]

Did you guys listen to rap?

[Nick]

Yeah, of course. Yeah, everyone.

[Matt]

Yeah. Crack so bad.

[Nick]

I grew up in the like SoundCloud rapper era so like when I was in high school like Lil Pump was the biggest thing.

[Matt]

Yeah, yeah.

[Nick]

And like dude, that guy made cocaine music. Like that guy's like if you've ever heard any of his songs, it's just straight nosedrop music, you know. So we were kind of joking around like haha, that would be really funny if we made crack. And then it became more of like a how do we even make crack? You know, we. I remember we went on Irawid and we found this thread, post like really detailed thread with a YouTube video linked and it was a step by step, like old like dude, this thread was like probably mid-2000s, you know, and it was like one of Those old style YouTube videos with like the music with the text like step one like you know, comic Sans fonts or whatever. And it was just how to make crack and it was how to make a personal serving in a spoon and all. I mean I'm not going to list everything you need here, but it's pretty straightforward. If you know anything about it, you know, you could do it literally with a spoon and a lighter and the stuff you need for normal crap.

[Matt]

Really you don't have to. I'm all about, I'm all from the rap songs whipping your wrist.

[Nick]

You can literally do a miniature version of that to make one bowl worth in a spoon.

[Matt]

Whoa.

[Nick]

Like you don't have to make like a whole pot worth. You can take like a little bit of block.

[Matt]

You're not getting the block.

[Nick]

So. And granted like we didn't make good crack. Like, it was not like some shit that we would go serve somebody.

[Matt]

Yeah.

[Nick]

You know, but it was like, dude, some grown. It looks like crack kind of, you know.

[Matt]

What did you. So you put it on a spoon. So we stuff in, we put blow

[Nick]

on a spoon and I mean, do you want me to go set up here? Is this like, okay?

[Matt]

Yeah.

[Nick]

I don't. If you get in trouble, it's not my fault.

[Matt]

Cover your ears. All right, so. Well, I think. Well, you don't have to go to. I think it's baking soda water and coke.

[Nick]

Yeah. That's the essence of it. Yeah. And you. If you listen to rap, hold the lighter up under the spoon and just mix it until it bubbles for, like a certain amount of time. It was like, if you see, like, constant bubbles on the top, stop. It's too hot.

[Matt]

The guy who made this video, so

[Nick]

funny, dude, I wonder where he is today. I want to know where he is. I want to have. I want to meet the guy. But we did the process. And then after you finished mixing it in the spoon and doing your thing, you pour it on a tin foil and throw it in the freezer.

[Matt]

Okay.

[Nick]

So we grab some tin foil, threw it in the freezer. I just throw the spoon in, like, my mom's sink, like, thinking nothing of it, you know, whatever. Which she found the spoon later. That was not good.

[Matt]

No.

[Nick]

And she still talks about it to this day. She's like, remember when I found your crack spoon? Like, I'm like.

[Matt]

Like she was not a fan.

[Nick]

I don't do that anymore. That was an experiment.

[Matt]

That was. That was an experiment for alternatives.

[Nick]

Yeah, it was a one time thing.

[Matt]

That was a science fair.

[Nick]

Literally. Yeah. She should be glad because, like, I failed all my science classes. So finally I'm being proactive and experimenting on my own. She should be happy about that. So, you know, we threw it in the freezer for, like, probably 30 minutes or so, pull it back out, and it's like. I mean, from my understanding, it's not good. Looking good. It's very cloudy. It almost looked gray, like it wasn't good. But we're like, fuck it, dude. We got to smoke crack now. You know, we don't have a pipe, though, so, like, crap. Time for a tinfoil pipe. Okay. So we twist up a little tinfoil bowl. My friend hits it first and he passes it to me. Very underwhelming experience. Very, like, literally. I think it lasted probably two to three minutes.

[Matt]

Really?

[Nick]

Like, if even. Yeah, we. I took a hit one Hit, pass it to my friend. I don't know if, like, it was a placebo thing of like, oh, I just smoked crack or what it was, but I got very. Like, sometimes when I do a lot of coke and I'm pretty drunk, I'll get like, ragey, you know, Like, I'll get a little angry, you know? And it was like that condensed into like two minutes. I remember I was like, oh, like, my friend kind of dapped me up, you know, Shook my hand a little bit. I remember punching my mom's cabinet, like, really hard, just for no reason. There was nothing wrong. There was nothing going on.

[Matt]

You're just amped.

[Nick]

Yeah, I was just amped up. You know, I punched her cabinet. And my friend hits it and he, like, very nonchalant about it. He's like, oh, yeah, you know, like, that was cool. And I'm like, wow. Like, we really just wasted a bunch of blow and, like, hours of our time and got two minutes of this out of it, you know? And after we smoked, the little bowl we made, it was more of a thing of like, we were riding on the high of, like, we just smoked crack.

[Matt]

Yeah.

[Nick]

Yeah. Like, holy, this is awesome. And we drove up, we got in my mom's car, and I don't know why she ever left the keys at home with me, but she would leave the keys at home with me. And we drove up to Little Caesars that my friend worked at. There was this girl named Selma who worked there. Shout out to her. And we would always go and give her shit for free pizza. And we walked in and we're like, selma, we just fudgeing smoke crack, like, and she thought we were jokes. She's like, oh, haha. Yeah. Like, that's so funny. We're like, no, like, we really just did it. Like, you should come next time, like, if you want to, like, try to back her up a little bit, you know. You know, like, hey, we're not like these other guys you do drugs with. You. We cook crack now. Like, we're really different.

[Matt]

Which, by the way, the coke pizza trade is a real thing.

[Nick]

Oh, yeah.

[Matt]

I briefly, briefly sold coke when I was younger. And we had a guy who would come in called Horse Head. He was a delivery guy and he's fun. Yeah, he would be like, horse. We would call and be like, yo. It was like, my friend's cousin worked there. Like, tell, send Horse Head with the pizzas. Then like, he would just bring a bunch of extra and we would just give him blow. Yeah, he literally did look like he had a horse's head. He had a giant long face. So we would just watch him do blow and just be like, horse.

[Nick]

There's a real connection with, like, pizza employees and just drugs in general. Like, any. Any staff at a pizza shop. Doesn't matter if you're front end kitchen delivery dude, you're doing good.

[Matt]

Yeah, there's stuff going on. So what was the lady's name again?

[Nick]

Selma.

[Matt]

Selma. So Selma was. She was dubious about your crack consumption?

[Nick]

She didn't care as much as we thought she would.

[Matt]

Yeah.

[Nick]

But she hooked us up with the pizzas. Either way, you know, we hooked her up, a good little trade and went home that night. And it was a thing of like, we all agreed, like, let's never do that again. Like, definitely gentleman's agreement. Yeah, a real gentleman's agreement. Like, hey, we're glad we got that out of the way. But even at that time, I still had a mental barrier of like, no meth, no heroin. Yeah, that kind of thing. And like, the crack kind of felt like it was starting to breach the barrier a little bit. And I was like, boys, let's see that. You know?

[Matt]

Yeah.

[Nick]

So it was cool, you know, but did you.

[Matt]

Did you YouTube that experience, you're saying, or.

[Nick]

I've talked about it. Yeah. I didn't like, film the actual thing. Moment. But a lot of what I do online is like, I just kind of recount and tell stories of my past.

[Matt]

Okay, so they're mad that you just told that story on YouTube?

[Nick]

Pretty much.

[Matt]

Crazy.

[Nick]

Well, my channel two. No, actually three years ago now got fully demonetized. So I get no ad revenue off my million sub channel. What? I basically post for free. And I get no sponsors because you know what?

[Matt]

Well, you know, there. Are you familiar with Psyched Substance? Did you ever follow his art?

[Nick]

I am very familiar with Site Substance.

[Matt]

Of course he lost. He like, kind of lost it, didn't he?

[Nick]

He lost a sauce a few times, dude. Yeah, he spilled the pot.

[Matt]

Probably Kratom got him.

[Nick]

Dude, in the end, Kratom is getting more people than ever right now.

[Matt]

I know the 770 is bad. So that I was. I had read about 7 0. So I just go on a 7 0H 70 and I was like, I was going to talk about it, but I just brought it up and then, like, got onto something else. I was like, yo, did you ever hear about 7 0? And then, like, we started talking about something else. I got like 9 million DMS, like, don't do it, bro. Don't do it.

[Nick]

Don't even try.

[Matt]

Just like morphine you can get from the gas station.

[Nick]

Honestly, I, I think morphine's even lowballing it. Like, morphine is probably weaker than what 70 is. That's crazy. Like, it's, it's nuts, dude.

[Matt]

And it's just at the gas station.

[Nick]

It's gas station. Every smoke shop in the whole country, bro. You can pick any smoke shop in a two mile radius in here. And I promise they.

[Matt]

Yeah, that's not good. It's really heard, I've heard that they. This is just like people I've talked to, you just hit the gas station or the smoke shop and they're just like, yo, try this. Like they push it on you.

[Nick]

So they have sample packs, like these little like one and two pill packs that they send out to all the shops. And they give the shops incentives to give the samples out. Like, they're like, hey, we'll give you a discount on your next like wholesale batch if you give out these samples. Because they know that like all the fiends are coming back.

[Matt]

Who are the monsters though that are like, yo, you know, the Sacklers. What if we did that again, dude? What if we did that?

[Nick]

But at gas stations it goes pretty deep actually. There's a, A lot of the, like the 7O, the sketchy hemps products.

[Matt]

Yeah.

[Nick]

Like all the shroom bars that are in smoke shops. A lot of those are the same people. Yeah, like a lot of those different brands are all the same. Like couple parent conglomerates and I own a brand in the hemp space. So like, that's, I'm pretty involved with that. And I know a lot of the guys behind the scenes and like, dude, listen, if you go to an event and if you see like three Indian guys, ice the fuck out. They're selling seven zero. Yeah, they're selling seven zero. They're selling seven zero.

[Matt]

What about. So in terms of like the, the, you know, like the hemp, the farm bill compliance stuff, you think a lot of that's just sprayed kind of cannabinoids

[Nick]

or like, like in terms of like the products that people are selling in stores.

[Matt]

Yeah.

[Nick]

Well, no, so the crazy thing with the, the hemp loophole is like the they're selling in stores is the same as weed. Yeah, like the thca, particularly THCA is the same. That's in normal dispo Weed.

[Matt]

Yeah, that's right.

[Nick]

All the other like Delta 8. That's like synthetic and bullshit. But the loophole right now, like there's, if you go to a dispensary in California and you go buy a product off a shelf and you get it tested. Right now there's probably a good like 40 to 50% of those products that by definition would be legally hemp. And like, you can ship.

[Matt]

Yeah. And that's because the thca isn't heat activated. Yeah, thc.

[Nick]

It's because all the laws are made by like 90 year olds. You know, they've never hit a joint.

[Matt]

It's. It's like kind of like laughable though, because you can just grow it and be like, it's 30% thca, but it's just.

[Nick]

And there's oversight. There's not even like a Department of Agriculture.

[Matt]

Yeah, they're not exactly. They don't do.

[Nick]

Yeah.

[Matt]

Which is good for them. I think it's a nice loophole. I. As far as loophole.

[Nick]

Oh, it's great.

[Matt]

Great loophole, dude.

[Nick]

You're talking to a guy who's made plenty of money off it, dude. It's a great loophole. But with that being said, I still am not like that against it getting closed because, like, it's pretty bad out there, bro.

[Matt]

I mean, you say bad, you mean, like there's a lot of dirty shitty.

[Nick]

For every one, like solid product you can buy in the hemp market right now, there's probably five more that are like borderline poison.

[Matt]

Yeah. What makes them poisonous? That's what I'm curious about.

[Nick]

There's. So there's no testing and oversight in any hemp products. The only thing you have to do to like, prove that it's hemp is get a lab test done on the batch itself. Yeah, but like, there's no like, you know, authority that's coming in and actually double checking that.

[Matt]

So it'd be like, so like old heavy metals, pesticide, everything, bro.

[Nick]

There's companies that like, have weed that's testing positive for E. Coli. There's companies, yeah. Like, there's a lot of synthetic, like, shroom products in particular, where, like they're advertising. This is a blend of lion's mane. And it's just research chemicals.

[Matt]

Yeah, that's what. So my. My brother put me onto that because there's. What is it? It's like it's not 5 me. It's like 5.

[Nick]

It's like Meo DMT or something.

[Matt]

But that. So that's like the frog stuff. There's another meo something that is. It's just a powder. You can get it online. Like a research chemical. But it's like similar to shrooms. That's what I think a lot of the. Yeah, Shroom chocolate stars. I've talked to people like, yeah, I had like a one square and I,

[Nick]

I was just launched and it's crazy because like that hits too. Like it works and it feels good. It's not even a bad experience. It's more so like you just don't know what you're getting.

[Matt]

Yeah, it's kind of scary.

[Nick]

Like I, I personally, I think all the in the smoke shop should still be legal to possess and consume, you know, but like should they be sold at the smoke.

[Matt]

This episode is brought to you by Shopify. Part of what makes online shopping so great is that you don't have to leave your couch. So it can be frustrating when you have to find exactly what you want. You're ready to check out. Then you realize you need to go hunt down your wallet. That's what makes Shopify so great. They're all about improving the experience for everyone. For customers, that means including the purple pay button to make checking out simple. Literally just one tap is all it takes for business owners like you. Shopify can get you set up with that pay button and more. They can help you design your website, write product descriptions, market those products, and manage inventory and payments. Everything you need is all in one place. So join the millions of businesses already using Shopify to make their business thrive. Like Aviator Nation or even Mattel. So less carts go abandoned, more sales with Shopify and their shop pay button. Sign up for your $1 per month trial today at shopify.com mattandshane that's shopify.com mattandshain this episode is brought to you by no Bull.

[Lamar]

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[Sean]

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[Lamar]

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[Sean]

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[Sean]

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[Nick]

Shop with no age restriction. Yeah, probably not now.

[Matt]

The galaxy gas epidemic was pretty wild.

[Nick]

Dude, that shit was bad. There was a. I remember. I'm not going to air out who it was, but a few months ago, I invited someone onto my podcast who came by with all his homies, and it's going to be pretty obvious who this was, but probably. No, no. He's in the same, like, league, though. But he brought these, like, four homies with him who kept, like, going out outside of my door and, like, very clearly smoking fentanyl and like, oh, dude, they do that a lot at my shit.

[Matt]

What?

[Nick]

That's. Actually, I've had two people do that now.

[Matt]

I ever worried to have, like, guests, and then they come back and, like, kind of case your shit up. And, dude, they're just smoking fent casually outside.

[Nick]

I'm not gonna lie, bro. We don't have much to take. I mean, we are in a living room. My homies, living room. And like, yeah, there's just not much to take.

[Matt]

That's good.

[Nick]

And the cameras we have aren't even ours. They're loaned to us, you know, like, good. Take the couch, you know.

[Matt]

Yeah, true.

[Nick]

Take the couch.

[Matt]

So, yeah. That's kind of awkward.

[Nick]

Yeah.

[Matt]

How did you know they're out there smoking, Finn?

[Nick]

You could smell it. There's a very specific smell that, like, smoking, like, pills gives off.

[Matt]

Yeah.

[Nick]

And, like, you can tell. And then they. The dude came back in. He was talking to me totally normally. He's like, can I go smoke a cigarette? I'm like, yeah. Comes back in.

[Matt]

Yeah.

[Nick]

It's like, all right, bro, I know what that smell is. You know, you're not fooling me.

[Matt]

So. Okay, so going back to. So there you had the. You know, the. The first one was just you recounting smoking crack. That was your first YouTube.

[Nick]

That wasn't my first YouTube video. That was the first one. I'd say that really, like, popped off. Popped off a lot. Like, that's like my. My most notorious. Probably. Okay. I think when it really, like, I started getting any traction doing what I do is I got sent to rehab and I was on probation when I was 17, I got put on felony probation. Because I would go to Walmart and like load up a cart full of shit and like a plastic tote I'd have inside the, and I leave the lid open. I'd fill it up with all the clearance, like games and DVDs, put the lid on, pay for the tote and just leave. And I got away with it like three or four times. One day I got really brazen and it was like a Friday at 5pm and I was drunk as, and I drove to the Walmart, walked in at 5pm, loaded up my tote, tried to walk out the door and they stopped me. Like this big, like butch lesbian security guard came and grabbed me.

[Matt]

What's funny is because like I, I, when they did the self checking, I used to get like real, you know, I would just start taking stuff.

[Nick]

Oh, you crazy.

[Matt]

You go nuts in there. But it's like not even nine times out of 10. It's like 99 times out of 100 the person checking receipts looks like they're dead. They're just like. And you just walk past. But they, I had one hardo one time. It was like, why is your receipt this big and you have a cart full of stuff? What I did, I just, I just went like, wait, what? I just went full Alzheimer's.

[Nick]

It was completely confused.

[Matt]

Did I not check all this stuff out?

[Nick]

Did he let you go back and just.

[Matt]

Yeah, he was a lady and she was like, this isn't on the receipt. And I kept going like, But I didn't technically leave the store. I don't think you get in trouble. I could be like, you haven't committed a crime yet. I thought I was going to the gardening section, so I, I, I felt like I had a solid case if I had a fight. But she, she was like, she made me kind of like a humiliation ritual. She made me go back and be like, that's not on there, that's not on there. And I kept being there.

[Nick]

Police escort back to the register.

[Matt]

Yep. Yeah, I did. And I, I was like, wait, that's not on there either. Did that doc scan.

[Nick]

What?

[Matt]

I remember being like, oh. So it beeps. And she was like, dude, get the fuck out of here. So they, they actually prosecuted.

[Nick]

Yeah, they, they arrested me and like took me into the little security room and like counted the amount of stuff I had. And I think they did it because I've been coming back to the same exact Walmart.

[Matt]

Yeah.

[Nick]

Repeatedly. Yeah. And I would do it all the time. And this is back when like Walmart was still 24 hour, too. So, like, yeah, I was going all times a day, bro. I'd go at night. One time, I got a 3Ds out of the electronics thing. I asked the lady to, like, open it up for me. And then I kept asking for, like, in different directions. Like, I'd be like, can you get a game from that end of the thing? And she got fed the up and she just handed the thing to me, and she's like, bring it up front and pay for it. And just left. And I was like, all right, well,

[Matt]

I'm leaving into the toad. It goes.

[Nick]

Yeah. But anyway, so I got arrested at Walmart that day. I stole, like. I think it was, like, 900 worth of. It was a good amount.

[Matt]

Okay. Just under, I think larceny. What's larceny? Like, 2000.

[Nick]

It wasn't larceny. It was under that. It was just, I think retail theft, but, like, the felony level by definition. And, like, I just had, like, some minor, you know, possession charges. And at that point, so I went to court for it, and they're like, all right. I had a good lawyer and everything. They gave me probation for a year. And I had to go in for random drug testing, like, pretty often. And I was not doing well with that. Like, the first month on probation, I was just dropping a ton of acid and, like, you know, oh, well, acid. I won't piss dirty for that. But then while I was tripping, I'd, like, hit the blunt and, like, do all the other. And, you know, that wasn't good. So I kind of gone through the motions the first month. Just like, well, I'm gonna go to juvie when they call me, you know? And eventually I bought a couple tabs off a friend that turned out to be fake, and I overdosed on them.

[Matt]

What were they?

[Nick]

25, I am pretty sure.

[Matt]

What is that?

[Nick]

So it's. I don't think it's, like, as popular to do anymore, but when I was younger, the, like, most common fake acid cut was this chemical called 25i Nbomet. And it's this, like, similar psychedelic. It's like a clear liquid that you drop on blotter. But, like, the only way you can tell you're taking it is if the tab tastes bitter.

[Matt]

That's right. Yeah.

[Nick]

And I tasted something when I took the tabs, but, like, it wasn't, like, bitter to me. I didn't think anything of it. And this was, like, a good friend that I'd known for a while. So I was like, well, fuck, do this shit's not hitting me. I only took one. I need another one. So I get to my friend's house, take my second tab, and then I, like, started freaking the fuck out. And my parents ended up. When I went back home, my friend dropped me off. Cause I was tweaking. Parents called the cops because, like, they called an ambulance because I was tweaking out. Went to the hospital, went to rehab, and I spent two months in a residential facility out of state. Like, with all the real tweakers and shit. I'm in there, like, damn, dude. Shit's fucked. And I got out and I made a series where I just documented, like, everything I went through in rehab. And that was the first thing that, like, popped off my YouTube channel. That was really the. Like, oh, yeah, you really, really made

[Matt]

lemonade out of lemons, man.

[Nick]

I did what I could, you know. Great. Yeah, I mean, it all, like, when I was a kid, I still made YouTube videos. I would just do, like, Call of Duty gameplay stuff.

[Matt]

Yeah.

[Nick]

Because I played.

[Matt]

You'll still do that. Because.

[Nick]

Yeah, I still do that.

[Matt]

You know, which is kind of nice.

[Nick]

It's. It's like how it's morphed. Because when I started, I would do the gameplay, but I just, like, talk about mundane, like, here's the best gun in Call of Duty right now. And eventually, like, when I started smoking weed, I was like, that, dude, no one cares about the best gun in cod. Like, I want to talk about smoking weed and chicks, you know? So, like, it's kind of what I ended up doing.

[Matt]

Gotcha. So made the switch. I mean, that is pretty. I've seen some of your stuff. I mean, it's just, like, call. Pretty good Call of Duty gameplay, too. Pretty nasty. I try. And then it's just like, the one time me and my friend smoked crack. I'm like, this might be the best combination of ever. Just a guy, like, checking the corners. Yeah.

[Nick]

I think, honestly, the only reason my channel exists is just, like, a product of the time. I feel like if you tried to make this channel today, you get banned.

[Matt]

Yeah.

[Nick]

You know, well, you can claim.

[Matt]

Educate. Well, it is kind of educational, honestly.

[Nick]

Oh, I. I have a disclaimer in all my videos. It's like, this is.

[Matt]

Yeah.

[Nick]

Like, this story's not even real.

[Matt]

Yeah.

[Nick]

These are fake names.

[Matt]

You know, the drug ranking 1 is one of my favorite. I know you said.

[Nick]

Oh, I have an annual one.

[Matt]

The annual drug rank.

[Nick]

I do them every year.

[Matt]

It's so funny. I mean, I noticed you have it out for Robo Tripping I mean that's the bottom of the barrel.

[Nick]

I have a two tiered problem with dxm.

[Matt]

Yeah.

[Nick]

First off is like it's by definition a struggle drug. It's a poverty drug. Like you're an adult with money and like options on plugs is not going to buy dxm.

[Matt]

True.

[Nick]

You know, so it's a poverty drug and DXM users, when you tell them it's a struggle drug, they don't like it.

[Matt]

Is there like for real avowed DXM

[Nick]

users, dude, you're gonna see them in the comments of this video just for talking about this, dude. Post a clip of this on shorts and see how fast they they appear. They swore they're coming, dude. Yeah, they come in my comments all the time, every year and they're like, God, I really wish Goblin wouldn't be so narrow minded about dxm. Like it's really opened my mind all these possibilities and I'm like, dude, like I'm just, I'm not tripping off Del Sim anymore. I'm sorry.

[Matt]

Yeah, you're saying it's bottom of the barrel only when you're.

[Nick]

Well, the highest sucks too.

[Matt]

What is it like?

[Nick]

It's like imagine if like you had a, like every acid trip you had was kind of scary and didn't last as long and your stomach hurt the whole time. That's like pretty much what a DXM trip is.

[Matt]

That stinks.

[Nick]

Yeah, it's not fun and I never liked it but like, I guess, I don't know, dude. Poor people do. Yeah, it's a great, yeah, it's a good drug to go steal at the store. Nothing better but.

[Matt]

Right. So you rank that, that bottom.

[Nick]

That, that's the very bottom.

[Matt]

You're saying that's the bottom of the bottom.

[Nick]

That is the bottom.

[Matt]

What's slightly above that in your opinion?

[Nick]

I mean, okay, reminder that it's all personal preference because objectively speaking we can be like oh fence actually the bottom but like no it isn't, dude. People don't do that because it sucks. Like people don't do fent because it feels like, like that's not true, you

[Matt]

know, so you can't put that, you

[Nick]

can't put that at the bottom.

[Matt]

Objectively.

[Nick]

DXM feels like and is not a good look, you know, and it's just. I can go on about that but I'd say next up probably like man. Oh, it gets kind of weird in the D tier because like. Yeah, I mean if we're saying F is is F is dxm.

[Matt]

Yeah.

[Nick]

Then the D tier is kind of a weird place to be because it's like, well, it's hard to find a drug that sucks but doesn't suck enough to be really suck.

[Matt]

True. Yeah.

[Nick]

You know, it's kind of tough, but I would say, like, fuck, man. I personally don't like opiates that much.

[Matt]

Yeah.

[Nick]

So, like, I'd say like, specifically opiate pills, like perks, narcos, like Aussies, that kind of thing. Just because, like, you still get the grimy, like opiate feel and day after and the cloudiness, but, like, you're not going all the way. Like, just do the fucking heroin at that point. Yeah, opiates suck to begin with. Just do the good ones, at least the ones that actually feel good because you're going to be a fiend either way. Like, and.

[Matt]

And if like with the perks, you're taking like a near liver canceling dose of. Oh, yeah, it's like Tylenol.

[Nick]

Yep. Yeah. Your liver is getting annihilated.

[Matt]

I. I saw a guy one time, the guy I worked with, we were in like a construction trailer. We had like, cleaned the house and we got to like, take a break and he just, he was like, he was bad on heroin, though. He would take anything. But he just grabbed. It was the weirdest thing. He grabbed Tylenol. So there was like a first aid kit and he just dumped like 10 Tylenols in his hand and just swallowed them all. And I was just like. He just casually did this. No dish.

[Nick]

What though? Like, I don't know.

[Matt]

I still to this day, I guess he probably was like withdrawing. He probably didn't feel that good just testing his liver. So he just abused Tylenol. And I remember just being like, what the is this?

[Nick]

Yeah. What are you doing? What a strange. Like, so that's D?

[Matt]

That.

[Nick]

That's D, Yeah. Opiates for me or D?

[Matt]

Yeah.

[Nick]

You know, like, I've done them and like, sure, I've had enjoyable moments on them, but like, I don't like it.

[Matt]

It's kind of laughable. And I. Well, it's definitely not very chic right now to be addicted to, like, perks. No, it's kind of.

[Nick]

No, the times went, dude, kind of like a throwback.

[Matt]

Yeah.

[Nick]

The time is when it's.

[Matt]

It is a dying breed.

[Nick]

Ten years ago, 2016, that was peak. Yeah. You want to be a bartard, you want to be an opiate fiend, that's when to do it, you know. Times have changed, dude. Times have changed.

[Matt]

Yeah. Even the bars aren't popular. Zany bars. Where would you clap? Where would you class them?

[Nick]

Oh, my God, bro. I mean, I love them.

[Matt]

Yeah.

[Nick]

I hate. I hate to admit, like, when I talk about Xanax, I. There's a certain, like, feeling that comes over me of just, like, warmth, you know? Like. Oh, you know? And that's how I know that out of all the drugs I've ever done, Xanax is the one that I really can never try again. Like, I can. I will immediately feed for that. Yeah. Like, it's bad for me with Xanax, and I have so many friends who got so addicted to that. And the withdrawals are horrible. It's like the. The ratio of, like, how accessible it is to, like, how addictive and horrible the withdrawals are is crazy. Like, it's literally the most accessible version of like, a borderline heroin addiction. Like, it's the same withdrawal process. It's the same. Like, if you cold turkey Xanax, you'll literally just have seizures.

[Matt]

Yeah, you can die.

[Nick]

Yeah, you can. You could full on die from a Xanax withdrawal if you, like, just completely cold turkey and don't do any prep. And like, despite all that, it's great.

[Matt]

Really.

[Nick]

You know, I. I love it. I love Xanax. It's literally a problem solver pill. Like, any issue you are concerned about in your life, dude, if you. You got court coming up, you behind on your taxes, your girl just left you, your homie stole your drugs. Take his in.

[Matt]

You can.

[Nick]

They're. They're all gone.

[Matt]

Find some peace.

[Nick]

The problems are gone, you know, and they're, you know, they're gonna be gone for an extended period. And, like, you might even solve the problems while you're barred out. You might get the courage to solve those issues. And it might not be in a healthy way, but, like, you're going to take care of them.

[Matt]

True. You know, that's what's shocking to me is that, like, it's not that crazy to be prescribed Adderall and Xanax.

[Nick]

No.

[Matt]

Like, the average person, it's not like, oh, yeah, I take a Xanax for my anxiety and I take Adderall to focus. That's a pretty potent. If I took an Adderall and a Xanax, I'd be trapped.

[Nick]

It's not fun. Yeah, it's not fun.

[Matt]

All right, here we go, guys. Does anyone want to go first?

[Nick]

By the way?

[Matt]

I don't want to pig out. Go ahead, Lamar. Get in there. All right. Well, everybody, I'm gonna be in Florida May 5. May 6.

[Lamar]

May 7.

[Matt]

May 8. May 9. And I'll be back home.

[Nick]

But also on May 5, there's Optimum

[Lamar]

Knocks at the creek in the cave. So please check that out.

[Matt]

Lemaire. Leave that fun and everywhere else.

[Nick]

All right, thank you, boys.

[Matt]

May 16th is all I got right now. Toronto will be nice, but I believe it's full. May 16th then. Very much.

[Lamar]

You're in Toronto on May 15th.

[Matt]

May 15th. Yeah. What's up?

[Lamar]

It's a good time to be in the six.

[Matt]

Is it really? What in May?

[Lamar]

May 15th.

[Matt]

Why?

[Lamar]

I'm in the May 15th, the new Drake release.

[Nick]

Are you gonna be there May 15th?

[Matt]

He's gonna be nuts, man. That's gonna be awesome. Well, hell yeah, dude. We gotta look forward to that. And guys, the next day, there's some tickets left for the Re Riviera theater in Chicago, Illinois. And yeah, that's May we. We got time. But I'll be honest, that. That one, I wouldn't lie to you. That one's gonna sell out. So come celebrate the end of this part of the tour in Chicago. May 16th. That's it.

[Lamar]

May 4th, I'm at the Hollywood bowl in Los Angeles. May 7th. There's still tickets available for the May 7th Thursday show at the A TD Garden in Boston. And then that's it, obviously. July 17th. Come watch me have a heart attack in front of the entire city of

[Nick]

Philadelphia, Albuquerque, Phoenix, San Diego, Los Angeles, Seattle, Portland, Chicago, New York, Boston, Pittsburgh, Orlando, Naples and Tampa. And San Francisco. I'm coming to you this month. It's going to be a big month.

[Matt]

Yeah.

[Nick]

JDFMcann.com, organ hour out now. James Donald Ford's McCann catamaran plan. Oh, yeah. Big times. Yeah.

[Lamar]

Get in there, Sean.

[Matt]

Hello, everybody. I'll be.

[Lamar]

Now get in front of the camera and don't do this.

[Nick]

Cute.

[Lamar]

Just do it. Hello, everybody. I was right.

[Matt]

Now, dude, I'll be in Springfield, Missouri. This episode is brought to you by Rougiette. Most ED treatments only do half the job. They boost blood flow, but stop there. Rougette Ready is different. It's a three in one treatment that boosts blood flow while also priming your brain for arousal. Dissolving under your tongue. It works in 15 minutes and last up to 36 hours. Join over 400000 men who've made the switch. Rougiet Performance Medicine for men. Go to rougiette.com that's R-U G-I-E-T.com and/drenched to get 20 off for a limited time.

[Lamar]

This episode is brought to you by ZipRecruiter. Matt, what do your eyes light up at?

[Matt]

My eyes light up when I think about staffing personnel. That's exactly what I was gonna say. That's insane.

[Lamar]

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[Matt]

Tulsa, Oklahoma and Oklahoma City in Cincinnati, Ohio in the month of May. Please. Oh my God. John gardini.com why are you so mad at me? I'm not.

[Nick]

I'm joking, dude.

[Lamar]

It.

[Matt]

Oh. What do you, what do you think about abusing sleeping pills? You ever run into that, like, which.

[Nick]

No, I never really.

[Matt]

I saw, I saw these when I was younger. There was like this, you know, whatever apartment complex full of people that I knew and they're like all knew each other and lived together and these girls would take Ambien and then do as much coke as possible.

[Nick]

I've never tried that, dude.

[Matt]

Well, they say you start tripping because you want to go to sleep, but if you take the. And then the. I literally they were like really trying to sell me on it all. Like, you got to try this. And I'd always give it a go. Had the wherewithal to be like, no, I don't think I'm going to do that. And dude, one day they just collapsed in front of me.

[Nick]

Oh.

[Matt]

Just were fell. The one of them fell and just hit the floor.

[Nick]

Thank God you didn't try it.

[Matt]

And I said, I told you guys. I was, I was a very, I was a very like nervous Nelly about drugs when I was younger.

[Nick]

Really?

[Matt]

I would do like, like weed and mushrooms were great.

[Nick]

But like you would avoid like combining

[Matt]

Stuff or just pills? Coke. I never. I never did coke. I've never done it. Virginia. Really totally vert. And I. I just never. Everything I saw people doing it, I was always like, it never worked out good. I don't think of a single person. They were like, yeah, that was sick.

[Nick]

Oh, coke is very destructive. Yeah, it's horrible. It costs too much money. It doesn't last long enough for you to ever make it stretch. And, like, it does suck, but also, like, I feel like coke is the perfect adult drug. Like, the moment that, like, you got bills to pay, it's time to buy back.

[Matt]

It's time to buy the bag.

[Nick]

It's time to buy a bag.

[Matt]

So how's that the adult drug? Oh, that's. You're saying when you. When you're.

[Nick]

It's a drug that, like, you can do on a regular basis and still function. And, like, I personally, like, although I don't do it anymore, I functioned when I was geeking. Like, it wasn't until the end. It wasn't ever really a thing where it was, like, debilitating me, you know, until, like, towards the end of my coke use.

[Matt]

What about financially?

[Nick]

Well, that's a different story, you know. I mean, yeah, that's a different story, but, like, I mean, do you function as a person? When I first, like, started. So back in, like, 2020, I got a DUI and I was living with my parents still. At the time I was 20, it was 2019, actually, and my mom threw me out of the house. She's like, get the fuck out. You know, you got seven days. Put all my stuff in a trash bag. And there I went, you know, And I moved down, like, three hours south to this town that was, like, really far from my hometown and very cheap, cost of living. And I had brought, like, my final, like, hoorah bag of blow down with me. I bought, like, a pretty. I don't remember how much it was, but I brought a pretty fat bag of blow. Like a pine, a lean. I got, like, a bunch of weed and brought it all down. I was like, once I run out of this, I'm fucked. You'd all blow down here is fat, you know, so it's going to be bad. So I started railing a bunch of it and, like, kind of trying to pace myself, which didn't work. And around that time, I had started doing these, like, live streams every day, and, like, I would drink for donations. I was trying to make money, and it worked, and I started making good money. And, like, instead of being like, oh, finally I can afford my blow. I just bought more. And, like, since my plug, it lived three hours north, I started going on the deep web and buying everything with, like, all my YouTube paychecks. So, like, I would have months where I'd get like seven or eight grand from YouTube, which was, like, incredible money for me at the time.

[Matt]

That was like, YouTube tip, basically.

[Nick]

Yeah, yeah, that was like my. That was my. All my income at that point. I didn't have sponsors, I didn't have, like, business stuff going. It was literally just whatever YouTube paid me for my donations. And my ad rev was my fucking net worth, you know? And I remember I would pay my rent, which was 650amonth. It went up to 1100 eventually when I moved. But 650amonth. The entire rest of that was weed, zans, ketamine, blow. I would order it all. And, like, the more money I had, the more I just buy.

[Matt]

But then they keep scaling up.

[Nick]

Yeah, yeah, it kept scaling up all the way until, like, it got really bad, bro. Like, it was. I'm kind of drunk right now, so it's not going to be a great estimate. You know, I had some drinks at lunch, but probably, like fall of 21, I'd say, is when it got the worst. And I was, like, staying up for like two or three days straight at a time, and I would just be, like, sitting at my desk, like, cold, sweating railing lines. And I had this, like. I developed this really extreme, like, paranoia and anxiety in my brain from doing so much uppers that, like, I would do uppers to bring me, like, bring my heart rate back up because I was really paranoid about my heart. Like, I'd be like, oh, my shit's beating too slow. I need to wake up.

[Matt]

Yeah, yeah.

[Nick]

Do a bunch of lines. And I'd be like, oh, my shit's beating too fast. I need to take a zan. I need to do a lot of K. Yeah. And I would go through cycles of that for like, two or three days

[Matt]

straight trying to get it back to just like, a sober heart rate.

[Nick]

Yeah. And the whole time it's like, bro, I'm not dying. Like, you know, but I. Like, my. I was just so paranoid in my brain that I thought I was so.

[Matt]

That's pretty scary, though, if you're. Oh, it's by yourself. Just like, constantly up and down, up and down, bro.

[Nick]

I had this big house by myself. I had no friends in this town. I had no job. And, like, the only thing I did all day was just sit Inside and do drugs, like, all fucking day. And then just pretty much, yeah, I would go live. So that's. Oh, God. Dude, I might get banned for this. When I used to stream, like, my early days of streaming on Twitch, I got started because I was trying to see how fast I could get banned. So, like, I played a porn game and, like, railed a bunch of ketamine, like, during the stream. And, like, I didn't point, like, you

[Matt]

played the game, like, the ad I played.

[Nick]

No, I played, like, a porn game that's banned on Twitch. On stream.

[Matt]

What is a porn game? Like, you're talking about, like, the ads on porno or there's a game.

[Nick]

No, no, no, no. It was a game on Steam called, like.

[Matt]

Oh, okay.

[Nick]

I don't remember the name of it. I think.

[Matt]

I know.

[Nick]

I know people are gonna know in the con. It's like a very notorious, like, horny game, you know? And I played it on my stream with the intent of seeing, like, let's see how fast Twitch, like, bands people for this kind the stream. I would like, you know, turn my camera up and be like, yo, the vet's calling me, dude. He's my pet horse is sick. And, like, lean down, do a bunch of ketamine, lean back up. I think he's going to be okay, guys. Like, he's going to be fine, you know? And finally, like, I got banned, you know, but it was temporary. And then they unbanned me and, like, I don't know how I didn't get in more trouble for the I used to do.

[Matt]

Yeah, yeah.

[Nick]

Like, I would do this and be very blatant about it on stream. And I know people were reporting me and, like, I don't know, but it kind of rocks, which is cool, I guess. You know?

[Matt]

I guess they are pretty sure.

[Nick]

YouTube might be kind of chill, too.

[Matt]

YouTube is.

[Nick]

Give me my money.

[Matt]

They should give you your ad money. YouTube is not chill about nudity. I showed one. One illustration. It was a. It was like a cartoon, like a comic book series about a. A slutty Indian lady called Savita Bobby.

[Nick]

Okay.

[Matt]

And I showed, like, Illustrated Nipple and they just. They. We still have a strike on our channel.

[Nick]

Really?

[Matt]

Yeah. They do not.

[Nick]

When does it expire?

[Matt]

I don't think ever, dude. I don't. Or we'll find out. It's been there for at least, like, three years. Two and a half. Three years.

[Nick]

What the.

[Matt]

Yeah.

[Nick]

Do you guys have, like, a. Like a contact at YouTube or anything?

[Matt]

Probably, but I don't think they'll Take.

[Nick]

You hit that guy up.

[Matt]

It was like a graphic. I mean, I did do, like. It was like, illustrated, full frontal.

[Nick]

I feel like if. Because now all strikes on YouTube expire.

[Matt]

Do they really?

[Nick]

All of them? Yeah.

[Matt]

That's cool.

[Nick]

They. You get like, a warning, then strike one. If you don't get another one for 90 days, it goes. Really? Yeah, yeah. So I would hit up your rep and just be like, hey, bro, this shit's three years old.

[Matt]

I'm gonna put. I'm gonna go. I'm gonna show the naked Indian lady as soon as I get my strike off.

[Nick]

There you go, dude, run it back, run it back. You got wiggle room now.

[Matt]

So what. So, yeah. So what's. What's the plan now? So now you're still. You're still streaming. So, like, are you. Is it more of like a. I guess, your channel slightly like a. Almost like a memoir or, like, slash, like, opinion in a way?

[Nick]

Yeah. It's kind of morphed more recently. When I started, it was just purely like a. I want to tell my stories.

[Matt]

Yeah.

[Nick]

Kind of thing, you know? And now as I've gotten older and kind of gotten clean and cleanish, you know, it's a thing of, like, I want to share my stories in a way that, like, people can learn from it a little bit.

[Matt]

Yeah.

[Nick]

And also just make videos talking about drugs. Yes.

[Matt]

So what is your overall. What is your personal takeaway after doing a. Like, I would say. Would you say you've done all the drugs?

[Nick]

All the drugs I want to.

[Matt]

Yeah, exactly.

[Nick]

I would say, yeah. I mean, I haven't done math, haven't done heroin. I haven't done, you know, dmt. I haven't done that yet. There's a few things, psychedelics that, like, I did Molly Shroom's acid, but none of the, like, real, like.

[Matt]

Yeah.

[Nick]

Other stuff.

[Matt]

So what is your takeaway on drug. On drugs combined, if it's like, if there's a young man out there, honestly,

[Nick]

dude, get it out of your system while you're young. I mean, I'm going to be honest. I think a lot of people, like, it's really easy to just be like, man, you should never do drugs, you know, like, so bad. But, like, dude, no one's going to listen to that shit. Yeah, I know we're doing drugs. You know, that's just kind of. That's how people are.

[Matt]

Yeah.

[Nick]

You know, and for me, I see a lot of my friends that I partied with when I was young that I went really hard with, and, like, did stupid with and got arrested with. And like, these guys are doing fine. I have a buddy who's working biotech, travels all over the country. And like, dude, I used to rail bags with this guy every night. You know, I. I have other friends who are, like, doing finance stuff and, like, working in sales. And it's like a bunch of dudes who, like. I think our ACT scores were in the teens, you know, like, we're kind of. So it was like. It was really like, my advice, honestly, like, I don't ever try to tell people, like, oh, don't do drugs. Don't try this. Because, like, you're gonna try it either way. Yeah. Aren't gonna listen to me. But I think moderation is key. It's good to get out of your system when you're young and you're never too far gone is really the most important part. Yeah, like, you're never too far gone, bro. I've met some crazy motherfuckers who, like, were way deeper in than I've ever been, than anyone I've ever seen. And like, they're just normal guys now. Living life.

[Matt]

Came out of it.

[Nick]

Yeah. You know, so that's probably my take. But, like, man, all the. All the, like, curriculum, all the DARE stuff and all the, like, drugs are bad that's been getting pushed since the 80s is just bullshit that's, like, resulted in the drug space we have now.

[Matt]

Yeah, I don't think anyone, like, listens to that. I remember my brother was telling me we had dare at our school or Officer friendly, whoever.

[Nick]

Yeah.

[Matt]

And I remember they would show us, like, car antennas used as crack pipes.

[Nick]

Yeah.

[Matt]

But they. I don't remember this. My brother was like. When he was in seventh grade, they explained LSD to him and he was like, bro, since that day, I was like, I need to get that.

[Nick]

Yeah.

[Matt]

Like, you see cartoons or whatever. And he was like, that sounds sick, dude.

[Nick]

It sounds awesome. I remember seeing the south park acid episode when Kenny had the acid trip and I was a kid that. That made me want to trip immediately.

[Matt]

Yeah. Yeah.

[Nick]

And I was like, like, I don't know, 10 or some. I was like, dude, I gotta try that, you know?

[Matt]

Yeah, that. That is kind of my. My things. I. I have two little kids and it's like, yeah, the old, like, hey, don't ever do any. It's like, it's not realistic. But it's also like, you know, for me it'd be like, here's certain things that, you know, like weed, even drinking. I'm kind of, like, be careful with that. But, like, I. My personal advice is like, coke, pills, all that stuff. Just steer clear. Yeah, that's my personal thing. Some people are like, no, coke's fine. I. My. You have to stop it eventually. Because that's the thing. Once you're, like, 40, you know, 50, it's kind of like, to me, there's just something shitty about it, especially once. Especially once you have kids. And it's like, are you definitely testing it? That's like, oh. It's like, I know so many people where I'm like, you're not testing your coke. There's no way. You're drunk at a bar and you're getting a bad coke and you're shoving it up your nose and like, dude, just people. How. How bad is. Is the Fentanyl still really bad in terms of, like.

[Nick]

So bad. Yeah, laced and so fucking bad.

[Matt]

That's fucking scary.

[Nick]

I mean, the problem is, like, fent is cheaper than all the other cuts now. Yeah. Like, it's a lot of people I see, they're like, oh, why would anyone. Why would any drug dealer cut something with fent? Like, that doesn't make sense. It's another drug that cost them money, and then they kill their clients. It's like, bro, you need a fraction of a gram, like a hundredth of a gram of fent to get the job done just for a cut purpose. And, like, that costs sense, you know? Like, that literally costs pennies. Like, it's. It's nothing. So it's fence, more common than ever. It's in Xanax presses. It's in bags of coke. It's in all the opiates you're doing. Like, all the perks that people are smoking on the street aren't perks. It's just fan. You know, it's all fent presses. And now, like, that's what people want. Like, they want stronger. So it's ugly, you know, I think, like. I don't know. I think personally, it's just important to, like, follow your own rules whenever you're doing drugs. Like, don't bring the bag home. You know, keep it in a social setting as long as you're able to maintain that, like, party as much as you want.

[Matt]

Yeah, that's your. Okay.

[Nick]

That's kind of how I view it. I think the. The always, like, the moat that I try to set myself that I'm like, I'm never gonna cross. This is like, if I'm partying and I'm out and I'm Doing stuff with friends, it stays out. I'm not bringing it home. I'm not gonna do it alone on my own at the crib. I'm not gonna wake up the next day and immediately start railing or do whatever. I think that's when you cross a line.

[Matt]

Yeah. So what was it you think that made you. Because, you know, some people, there's people that claim, like, yeah, I'm just completely powerless. If I even look at or see, it's just, it's a wrap for me. What kind of clicked in your head to where you're like, okay, I think I have this under control. Or, like, I'm good on this.

[Nick]

I mean, it's. Rehab never worked for me. Like, I technically did rehab twice because I did a outpatient and then I did a smaller inpatient stay and then a full residential stay. It's like two and a half, I guess. And rehab never worked. A lot of people always preach the whole like 10 step process and like, oh, you have to be completely bone sober. But I think, like, telling, like, for a lot of drug addicts, being like, hey, you have to be sober forever is a very scary thing.

[Matt]

Yeah.

[Nick]

And like, even hearing that immediately is going to make someone be like, what the. Yeah, like, I'm not sticking with that, you know? Yeah.

[Matt]

I think a lot of things that help people. There are some people that I think that do love that whole, like, I'm just white for sure, whatever. And, you know, whatever. Because it becomes just a whole, you know, your whole thing. It's just like, yeah, I'm just nothing. One day at a time. And I think that's good for some people. But then some people, Yeah, I know a lot of people have tried that. And they're like, dude, I just can't get with this. And I found a lot of people have success being like, all right, opiates are my problem. I cannot just. I can't be around them. But then the problem is a lot of those guys will go, I'll take some Xanax. And they go, that's kind of sick. Let's take some ad, right? And they, they just end up. They do end up right back on the oops. But the people I know who are like, you know, say like, I'm staying off of opiates. And then they kind of like take mushrooms here and there. They still get that charge and kick. But it's like, you're not gonna do a bunch of mushrooms and be like, yo, I should go steal my brother's PlayStation. You know, it's like, yeah. So I feel like that's. To me, at least, I think that helps a lot of people.

[Nick]

Yeah. I mean, I think harm reduction is the key. And, like, for me, I. Like, towards the end of my addiction, it wasn't fun the last few months. And, like, I realized every day when I was waking up and getting high and doing all the. I did. Like, I was not enjoying it, like, feeling. Getting high felt good. But, like, I was starting to have those thoughts in the back of my head, like, man, like, this isn't fun. Like, I wake up and I feel like every day I feel like right now while I'm high, and if I do more, I'm just gonna feel more like. And then that one day I remember, I. It was like 5 or 6 in the morning. It was rush hour morning rush hour. And I had been up for a few days doing blow and doing ketamine and doing my whole thing. And I was having. I was having one of those really bad freakouts. And, like, I remember I was having these really bad heart palpitations and my hand on my chest, and I thought I was, like, about to have a heart attack. My heart was going so fast, and I had reeled a bunch of lines. And, like, at that point, it was just purely an anxiety thing. And I remember I'm standing there in a cold sweat. I run out onto my porch and I sit down, and I'm in my underwear, broad daylight. And, like, I live right off a main road at this point. It's like, all these people are driving past, looking at me, didn't give a fuck. I'm sitting there on my porch, like, breathing in the fresh air, trying to do, like, breathing exercises to make myself, like, not die. And, like, in that. That specific, like, that moment itself was a pivotal point for me where I was like, dude, I can't do this shit anymore. Like, this isn't fun. And I've been having those, like, panic attacks more frequently. And that was the one where it was like, bro, I can't do it anymore.

[Matt]

Yeah, Your body basically was like, all right.

[Nick]

And it was. It was hard at first with most of the other drugs. Like, Xanax was a. For me to get rid of, but coke was an easy one because I viewed coke as the source of my anxiety and paranoia and problems. And I. Immediately after that day, I remember I flushed my. I got rid of it. And my strategy that I tell everyone, I always recommend this to people if they're able to is, dude, just smoke your way out of it. Like, really genuinely smoke yourself so stupid every day. Eat a bunch of edibles if you have to. That, like, you can't even fathom feeding for something, you know? Because, like, the real thing that you need is, like, you need time for your brain to reset. Like, you need that chemical connection, that addiction to, like, reset. And a lot of people, like, you're not going to get that time just sitting at the house. You're not going to choose to do that. But I found that, like, when I was eating a shitload of edibles and just ripping dabs all day and just getting violently high as often as I could that it would knock me out. I'd sleep half the day. And, like, enough time passed where eventually it was a thing of, like, hey, I'm not feeding so hard. I'm about to punch a hole in the wall because I'm out of blow. It's more of a thing of, like, I'm in my head thinking, like, man, coke would be nice right now, but I don't have to act on that.

[Matt]

Yeah, yeah.

[Nick]

You know, and once you reach that point, it's just kind of smooth sailing from there, in my opinion.

[Matt]

So there was, like, a real, almost physiological kind of.

[Nick]

Oh, yeah, yeah, there was. I had a really. I never had, like, the. The physical mental, or, like, the physical withdrawals of, like, cold sweats and, like, twitching and puking in my bed. I never got that. But, like, mentally, yeah. And, like, to this day, I still Xanax, specifically. Like, bro, I'll be sitting there sometimes, especially after. After I've had a couple drinks, and I'll just be like, man, Max, is

[Matt]

that, like, the worst time to take it, though?

[Nick]

Oh, yeah. Well, okay. Worst by medical definition, but, like, come on, dude. Like, no, it's not the worst time, you know?

[Matt]

So, yeah, I, I, well, I'm, like, kind of split on this because it's like, I, I do think it's a crazy way to treat it where it's like, don't touch it at all. And it's like, yeah, okay. Like, Lucy K. Has a great joke about it how, like, you got to tell your kids not to do drugs, but drugs are literally the answers to all their problems.

[Nick]

Yeah.

[Matt]

And it's like, y', all, you'll feel awesome, actually, if you're actually being honest. Like, no, you'll feel great. You'll be confident. But the. This is what I found. I, I, you know, I used to drink when I was younger. You started drinking super young and just drinking, smoking weed, whatever, and specifically drinking Though I would. I would get. I socialized. I pretty much, like, grew up socializing drunk. Always drunk, if I socialized.

[Nick]

Yep.

[Matt]

And then I just. The alcohol just started just not agree with me. I got sick of being hungover. So then I had to, like, learn, which I'm still learning how to do it now I'm 40, but it's like, I had to, like, learn how to socialize sober. And I was just like, damn, I wish I learned how to do this when I was younger because I'm, like, still bad at it.

[Nick]

I still struggle with that, too. Yeah, I get drunk before everything.

[Matt]

Yeah. Really?

[Nick]

I mean, dude, every podcast I've, like, ever done on the Gobcast, I just drink before it.

[Matt]

Really? So how's that? How do you manage the alcohol then?

[Nick]

I mean, I'm not drunk, you know, I don't get hammered. One or two shots when I. When I have like a. Someone I don't know, come me on the show. Yeah, I need to loosen up.

[Matt]

Interesting. Okay, so that's fair.

[Nick]

Yeah. But I personally, like, I don't enjoy drinking, like, going. Getting blackout drunk. I like drinking in, like, combination with other things. Like, give me a couple glasses of whiskey and a joint and like a couple lines, you know, give me, I don't know, take some shroom, smoke a joint, maybe one glass of whiskey. You know, I think drinking is just like a good, like, mix in the pot kind of thing.

[Matt]

Yeah. Okay, so you're not like a hardcore drinker. I. Well, with stand up, I remember I

[Nick]

used to be, but.

[Matt]

Yeah, well, stand up. I remember being like, dude, I have to have two drinks before I perform. And then I remember being like, well, I kind of. At the time, I would do stand up, like, every night. I'm like, I don't feel like drinking every night. Yeah, I had, like, I was able to. And this is, you know, this is the stuff I do. Kind of like where it's like, you know what exactly? Why do I have to do that? And it's like, with time, you just. You can get over that stuff. That's the 100. But to me, it's like, I don't want to come off as, like, preachy. Like, if that's what people do, that's what people to do. But I remember being like, I was like, impossible. I'm not really a public speaker. I need my two drinks. And then I was like, no, you know what? Tonight I'm going up sober. It was like years and years ago, and for some reason I was just like, I Don't even know why I did this. I wore a backwards hat on stage. I never, I would never wear a backwards hat, but I was so new, so I need to had like some other thing. And I stood up there, complex, like, oh, like stone sober with a backwards hat. Bombed and. But now it's weirdly enough, I prefer if I do standup. I prefer to be like, like completely sober. And I wanted, I wanted to be like a high on stage guy. I was like, who wouldn't want to have a couple drinks every night? But it like, I just objectively, I'm better if I'm sober.

[Nick]

Yep.

[Matt]

Because I'm more like kind of keyed into everything going on.

[Nick]

Yeah.

[Matt]

And I'm not high doing. Being high and doing stand up for me, it's a nightmare, dude.

[Nick]

Being high and doing anything where you have to think is not good. I've kind of been noticing that lately too. I've finally, for the first time in my life, like, since I started smoking, been like tapering off a little bit, you know, and only smoking at night and stuff like that because, like, dude, I look back at like some of my old stuff on the Internet where I'm super high and whenever I'm super high in the moment, I'm thinking to myself, like, dude, this is great. You know, I'm talking a lot and I look back and I'm like, yo, I'm a babbling idiot. Yeah, dude. Like, I'm saying nothing right now. So. Yeah, I've tried to slow down on smoking too.

[Matt]

Do. Yeah, I, I still. I like, like doing kind of cycles with weed where I'll like, quit for a while and then I'll come back and. Yeah, a little, little break, dude. It's nice because it like, otherwise it just. I feel like, you know, I feel like I'll feel like dull after like daily smoking. When you take like months off and come back, you're like, it's, it's. I don't know. That's the way I kind of.

[Nick]

It's got to be a treat. That's the only way. It's fine.

[Matt]

Yeah.

[Nick]

You know, if you're just smoking all day, it's pretty boring.

[Matt]

Yeah.

[Nick]

I like it as like a little, little gift at the end of the day.

[Matt]

It is truly a gift at the end of the day.

[Nick]

A little surprise.

[Matt]

But that's. No, that's a cool way of thinking of it because it is like, you know, it's like as far as like YouTube guidelines, I'm sure they have their like, legalistic Kind of like, no, it's like, you can't endorse this. But it is like, okay, well, there's still people dying from overdoses because this doesn't work for them or that doesn't work for them. And at least. Yeah. Like you were saying, if you can at least, like, reduce the harm a little bit by being like, hey, the rooms didn't work out for you.

[Nick]

Yeah.

[Matt]

How about you just take 19 edibles a day and see if you can manage that? It's like, it's at least attractive to an addict's mind where, like, yeah, I'll just get high as.

[Nick]

Yeah.

[Matt]

And that does. I swear to God, even the mushrooms. I've seen people who are, like, bad addicts to, like, you know, like, the worst stuff, and they'll, like, have, like, a hard mushroom trip, and at least for, like, five months, they would just be clean.

[Nick]

Yeah.

[Matt]

And then, like, you know, life will come back and yank them back into that stuff. But it is. It was pretty astounding to see people be like, no, I'm just chilling right now.

[Nick]

We got to do more research on that.

[Matt]

Yeah.

[Nick]

You know, I mean, we're probably pretty far from that actually happening. But, I mean, shrooms genuinely, like, cure people from stuff. You know, Ketamine does, too. We're just starting to discover that, you know, even acid.

[Matt]

Yeah. Well, that was. I think the original AA model was to take. You're supposed to take acid, really? Yeah. The guy, Bill W. Whatever his name was, that was like. That was. The whole point of it was like, it would get you there. You would, like, start talking. And it. They were like. You got to basically induce some form of mystical religious experience and that. He. He had done lsd and that's how, like, that. He was, like, a hopeless alcoholic.

[Nick]

Yeah.

[Matt]

And I think he did acid and kind of was like.

[Nick]

I think they leave that part out of the curriculum nowadays.

[Matt]

It's a shame they left it out. They left it out. But even again, it's not like everyone has to do that. But it's like, all right, this works for some people. This works for some people. That works for some people. Here's your options. Pick one and try it out. Rather than being like, show up every day and just eat.

[Nick]

Yeah.

[Matt]

Just white knuckle it for the rest of your life.

[Nick]

I mean, it's so much more appealing to just be like, yo, you can get high as fuck still just on this.

[Matt]

Yeah. Or it's like, it just scares the fuck out of you. You get. You start tripping. You're like, oh, dude, I'm, like, stealing my little sister's money. Some people need whatever that, like, out of body kind of perspective it gives you. You can kind of really see yourself and go, like, oh, God, dude, how the fuck did I start doing this?

[Nick]

Yeah, so.

[Matt]

But no, that's. But your channel rules. I do like your channel.

[Nick]

Thanks, man. I really appreciate it.

[Matt]

Very funny. The stories are really awesome.

[Nick]

I like the show you got here, dude. This is a very cool setup.

[Matt]

Appreciate you.

[Nick]

I like this. You know, I've gone on a few podcasts that are very, like, sit at the table and talk, but this is fun.

[Matt]

Oh, yeah. Stand.

[Nick]

What's the crap? Like, what is this? What's the art?

[Matt]

Everyone asked me. I have no idea. I should research this at one point. It's. I like, I. You know, it's funny. I've, like, googled it a couple times.

[Nick]

Okay.

[Matt]

All about it. My brain doesn't retain it at all. I think they, like, they're being spot. Like someone's coming up and like it. Like, kind of like catching these guys in a. In a lewd act. I think that was like an ancient devil's threesome. Oh, I think that lady in the water symbolizes something. I forget what that is. I think that canoe's on fire or something. I don't know.

[Nick]

Guy on the right looks kind of like Turkish to me.

[Matt]

Yes. Very Turkish. Some say he's her pimp.

[Nick]

Oh.

[Matt]

And then someone walks up like, hey, what the are you guys doing in there?

[Nick]

Yeah, he does have the cane going and everything.

[Matt]

Yeah. Although. Although these guys, look, they could be siblings. Oh, I see a lot of resemblance.

[Nick]

Well, that was okay back then, you know, to share. That was fine.

[Matt]

He might have been signing his sister up with a pimp. He's like, look, I think it's a conflict of interest if I pimp you. My buddy's also a Turkish pimp.

[Nick]

Yeah. So it's a very recent development that, you know, your Turkish pimp relative wasn't, like, someone to share your woman with.

[Matt]

But I have no idea what that painting is about. It just made me laugh. It's funny. It's just an interesting.

[Nick]

I like it. I like it.

[Matt]

But, yeah, man. So what's. What's, you know, what's the plans going forward? Dude, are you. Do you feel pressure on the podcast to be like, I got to get zonked. I got to ramp up? Or is it just kind of like

[Nick]

when I was much, like, earlier into doing it? Yeah. Because the entire way I got into podcasting, Was, like, going on other people's shows kind of like this and, like, getting up. Like, I remember the first podcast I ever went on, I was, like, nodding out in the chair at the end of it because I'd stayed up the night prior, and I, like, packed a bunch of blowing Zans in my bag and flew out to LA and, like, was in my hotel railing them. And then I ordered a bottle of wine because I was like, dude, I got. I'm not ready to socialize, bro. I'm only on Zans and Coke. I got a. I need a drink. You're not ready to talk yet. So I start drinking, and, you know, that doesn't combine with those two things. Well, so what do you.

[Matt]

What are your thoughts on, like, really taking everything away for a period and actually just being, like, what is bothering me to the point where I would have to be that fucking high to interact with people?

[Nick]

I mean, I think I've. I've definitely worked on that over the years and kind of, like, I think I just generally am not very good at socializing without drugs because it's what I've done for a decade, you know? And after I started doing less drugs and just smoking more weed. Weed in itself makes me kind of more anxious in public places to begin with, you know? And then I'm already being like, I don't know how to talk to these people. I'm not loose right now, and I really kind of get stuck in my head about it. And, like, I think that's something I'm gonna probably struggle with for a long while.

[Matt]

Yeah.

[Nick]

From now, too. But I. I definitely noticed myself slowly, like, getting better about it.

[Matt]

Yeah, That's. How old are you?

[Nick]

27.

[Matt]

Oh, yeah.

[Nick]

So, yeah, I got time.

[Matt]

You're coming out. You're coming out of your 20s.

[Nick]

Yeah.

[Matt]

Yeah, I still. I mean, I've gotten way better about it. Do you watch sports?

[Nick]

A little bit.

[Matt]

That helps you. That helps social. I don't watch sports. That's, like, my Achilles heel. And social.

[Nick]

Yeah.

[Matt]

Polite society. I'll go out and they'll be like, you see the Broncos? And I'm like, nah, man, I wish I did. I wish I could share this with you right now.

[Nick]

Casinos are my icebreaker. Really good card table.

[Matt]

Yeah, that's nice.

[Nick]

Play a little baccarat, blackjack, you know,

[Matt]

Start chatting it up.

[Nick]

Make four new friends or enemies, you know?

[Matt]

True.

[Nick]

Either way, you talk to them, you know?

[Matt]

No, that is. That's a trick, man. Whenever I'm, like, find myself socializing, there is a Part of me, like, almost narrating the events in my head as taking place. And I'm going like, like, what do I really want to talk about? It's like, I want to go home is what I really want to do. And I'm like, no, you have to stay here. And I'm like, all right. It feels like a, you know, not performative, but it's just kind of like, you know, if I really had my druthers, I would be chilling out, laying in my bed right now.

[Nick]

Yeah. It's too easy to, like, get caught up in my head about, like, you know, the situation at hand instead of just living in it.

[Matt]

Yeah.

[Nick]

You know, that's something that, like, I don't know if being bone sober would fix that. It probably would, but I don't know.

[Matt]

I could not. Like I said, I don't. I don't. Like, again, I. I try to not be like, well, this is what you need to do. But it's like. Because it's like, maybe over time, you get, like, you know, get exposed. Like any kind of phobia. If you expose yourself to the stimulus over and over and over, you're like, oh, this actually isn't that scary.

[Nick]

Yeah, that's what happened to me for flying.

[Matt]

Really?

[Nick]

I was very scared of flying.

[Matt]

You did it over.

[Nick]

I used to have to, like, full on, like, pass the fuck out every flight.

[Matt]

Yeah.

[Nick]

And now I'm pretty chill.

[Matt]

That's tight. No, but, yeah, same. I was actually very scared, too, but that is horrifying.

[Nick]

We're not supposed to be up there.

[Matt]

No. And then when they hit that turbulence, bro, like, I fly a good amount and, like, I've had a pilot explain it where it's like, dude, turbulence. Think about it as, like, waves on an ocean. If you're on a boat and the boat's going up and down, that's just waves. That's normal. You'll find he's like, in the area of currents. So, like, we're hitting that, and it's just as natural as a boat hitting water.

[Nick]

Yep.

[Matt]

But, dude, when it, like, goes on for a while and I always look at. I always look at the flight attendant. If I see fear in their eyes.

[Nick]

Yeah.

[Matt]

I'm like, yeah, we're. We're.

[Nick]

Oh, once they sit down in those jump seats, I'm tweaking, dude. I'm tweaking. I mean, I feel like the turbulence, dude, it's got to be something telling us we're not supposed to be up there, you know? True. It's Got up there could be God

[Matt]

being like the out of here.

[Nick]

I'm not a religious guy until I'm on an airplane and then I'm. I'm pretty religious. Yeah.

[Matt]

Well, God damn, dude. Hey, anything else you want to talk about or you want to plug or.

[Nick]

I don't know, man. It's been fun. You know. I always love chatting about drugs. So. Ever want to do more of that, you know.

[Matt]

Yeah, dude, for sure.

[Nick]

I'm here to yap, you know.

[Matt]

Absolutely. I think. And again I want to make sure I hit all the, all the things. Yeah, your videos are great. I just, I like the. You have a ton of funny stories. Is there here? This is a question I think we could kind of go out on.

[Nick]

Okay.

[Matt]

What, what has been like, you know, because you're. I'm sure whenever I feel like people are doing a lot of drugs, you're around very colorful characters.

[Nick]

Oh yeah.

[Matt]

What is like the greatest, I would say tragedy you've witnessed in terms of like a person just careening into the absolute abys, dude.

[Nick]

Probably my old coke plug I've had.

[Matt]

The guy you smoked crack with?

[Nick]

No, no, different person.

[Matt]

Different.

[Nick]

That guy died actually so. Yeah, not. Well, not thank God, but you know, just different thing, you know. Yeah. So that guy died, had to get a new coke plug and he was a very friendly guy. A lot of face tattoos, you know, but like kind hearted dude. Yeah, but he, he was out of jail on parole for like already selling blow and like had like a couple newborn kids that he was raising and stuff and like everything was going good and then seemingly like out of nowhere his baby mama, like I don't know what happened like between them but like he started believing that like she was cheating on him and the kids weren't his and he was like kind of tripping about that and he would bring it up all the time. And then one day he buys a shroom chocolate bar off a friend of mine and he takes it and he starts tripping the out on shrooms at like the family house they're all staying with. Like I don't know if it was his parents or her parents. They're like saying at the grandparents house with the kids to like take care of them and he starts tripping the out and he goes and like gets in an argument with his girl in front of the kids and like they get a little physical but not like anything crazy, just like a you know, a little slap back and forth and then they separate. Later that night. I don't know if he took More of the shrooms or what. But he like had a complete freak out and he goes in the room his kids are sleeping in and like beats the out of them. And like one of the kids took like permanent damage like vegetative state, like, and he got sentenced for a bunch of up and he's in jail for like 15 years, I think or something like that. All because one night and like prior to that he seemed like he like loved these kids. Like he really, you know, he posted his kids all the time, took care of his family. He literally.

[Matt]

Terrible.

[Nick]

I don't know if this is actually good taking care of the kids. We'd like have them in the backseat when he comes. Serve me, you know, like, he loved it. They were there, you know, they were there, so. And then one day he just disappears and one of my friends sends me the fucking news article. And his girlfriend slash baby mama had a YouTube channel where like she posted a two part thing telling the whole story and like, like her face is all up when the kid's still in the hospital. They both lost custody of the kids. She doesn't have me there. Like it's. Dude, that's by far the most tragic thing I've ever, ever witnessed out of any drug addiction.

[Matt]

Maybe that brings me back to my original point where people need to deal with their. Yeah, yes. That's sad.

[Nick]

Drugs are not the way, you know,

[Matt]

I mean, again, it's not. Yeah, that's a tough case because it's like. Yeah, that's. The dude definitely probably went into some sort of psychosis.

[Nick]

Oh yeah.

[Matt]

Yeah.

[Nick]

He tripped the out and all it took was just one little, little. One little dose.

[Matt]

God dang. It's like that was like a sudden thing. It seems like almost you got to

[Nick]

make sure you're in the right mental space. Yeah. Like there's definitely a lot of people act like you don't have to, but like you got to do some prep work before you.

[Matt]

Yeah, yeah.

[Nick]

You know. Yeah, it can get ugly.

[Matt]

Yeah, it's pretty. It's pretty gnarly. It's like pretty much, I think, as gnarly as it gets.

[Nick]

Yeah, yeah.

[Matt]

Close to it.

[Nick]

I mean it's. It's just. It's even worse nowadays to be. I'd imagine these young kids who are doing The I did 10 years ago are experiencing way more tragic now because all their friends are probably croaking on fan. Yeah, like it's. Dude.

[Matt]

So is. Is fent popular with kids now the way like pills were popular?

[Nick]

Well, high school, actually. There is like, there's even kids that like, seek it out, you know, because it's like, if you're already doing opiates, especially any of the opiate addicts, like, kids who are like, oh, I just dabble in norcos and perks. That's becoming a rare breed by the day.

[Matt]

Yeah.

[Nick]

Because all the norcos and perks now are fent. Yeah. You know, and they don't prescribe that as much anymore, so it's harder to get. Which just makes the fent more common.

[Matt]

That's why my rule of thumb is, dude, no pills. No pills, no powders. Just you can have a good time smoking weed, doing mushrooms, drink. If you really are trying to, like, party and get after it, you can have a ball powder, pill free. That's. That's where I. That's why I'm always like. I mean, you can. You can risk it and be the man for 30 minutes.

[Nick]

Yeah.

[Matt]

On blow or whatever. Or just like, chill out.

[Nick]

Yeah.

[Matt]

Still have a. You can have a very. I took acid recently. Went to a concert too. It was enough fun for me for like a decade. I'm good. I'm good on fun for an entire decade. But it's like, I don't understand. That's the one part of me that's like, how. What. Where else is it where you're like, this is cool. But, like, I guess that's everything. It's like, let's just see how far we can take this.

[Nick]

Yeah. You know what's really too is a lot of, like, you can't even rely on normal, like, reagent test kits anymore.

[Matt]

Really.

[Nick]

Because the amount of fat that it takes for a test kit to declare that, like, it's positive for fent is like a nanogram. So, like, for example, if, let's say anyone that, like, ever touched the bag of blow you just bought had ever interacted with fentan a trace amount, like, they had a little bit on their thumb and they touched the inside of the bag and like. Or maybe let's say it's even a reused bag. So, like, what's in there is not fent, but someone reused their bag and then they pull it out and drop it. It's going to test positive for. For fan.

[Matt]

It's probably good though. You know?

[Nick]

It is. It's good. Overall, a lot of people don't view it that way. They're like, oh, it's saying everything's fan. I know this isn't fans. They just don't trust. They don't test.

[Matt]

Oh, I see.

[Nick]

What you're saying, you know?

[Matt]

Yeah, I guess they were talking about they don't want to be wasteful.

[Nick]

Yeah. I had a. I briefly did a collab with a drug testing kit company, and, like, we sold, like, a couple batches of reagent testing kits. And I would get DMS from people all the time. Like, dude, I know my plug isn't selling fans. Like, this says it's this. And like, it's like, bro, what do you want me to do? Like. Like, the test says what it is, you know?

[Matt]

And it's like, better safe than sorry if it's. Yeah. Like.

[Nick]

Like, why are you mad at me, bro? Like, go talk to your plug. Yeah.

[Matt]

And it's also, like, if it's in the house, it's just a matter of time.

[Nick]

Exactly. Yeah. So it's. Yeah. People are never happy.

[Matt]

People are never happy.

[Nick]

No.

[Matt]

Try to prevent them from getting the fan overdose. And like, dude, this is annoying.

[Nick]

The most valuable lesson I think I've ever learned on the Internet is just to not try to make everyone happy.

[Matt]

You can't. It's impossible.

[Nick]

It doesn't work.

[Matt]

Well, it's in life, too. It's like, you can't do it in life, especially not the Internet. Yet it's possible.

[Nick]

Yeah. It's a tough thing to get used to.

[Matt]

Yeah, man, it is. Especially. Yeah, you get a lot of. You get a lot of hatred. You deal with a lot of hatred online or is it pretty positive?

[Nick]

I mean, I think especially since I've started posting shorts, I get a lot of hate comments now, really. But I think that's just the nature of shorts in general. Like, if you post anything on Tik Tok, you go to the comments. That is crazy. Crazy.

[Matt]

Yeah.

[Nick]

And I don't even view it as hate. It's just like, that's the nature of short comments. Like, you crack jokes, you make fun of whatever you see. Like, yeah, try to get the most likes. You know, that's what it is. But, like, I don't deal with a ton of hate. I think I. When I was younger and my audience skewed younger, I got a lot of hate from, like, older relatives. And I would get emails from parents of, like, my kid watched your video and I just found this, and, like, I got an email. There was a mom who emailed me years ago. This is probably like, like, 2018, 2017 or some. And she was like, I, like, found my son watching your videos. I just want to let you know that my son thinks you're so cool, and he's doing this drug, this drug, this drug. And like, he's ruining his life because of you.

[Matt]

And like, that seems like a. I

[Nick]

get those, you know, But I don't view those even as hate comments. It's like, honestly, bro, if I was a parent, I'd probably write the message too, you know?

[Matt]

Yeah. I mean, also, I mean, the stuff of yours I've watched, you're not very. You're not being like, dude, go out there and go crazy. It's more so like, this is. This is what happens when you do this. It's. There's good stuff and there's bad stuff.

[Nick]

Yeah. I try very hard to not encourage people to go do anything, but, I mean, regardless. Yeah, they're going to go do it either way if they want to.

[Matt]

You know, that's also funny to be like, how about you police your kids?

[Nick]

Yeah. Yeah. Why you want me to parent him? Dude, Send him over to my house for a fucking play date. Summer camp. Yeah, literally send him to wilderness camp, dude. Put him in the fudgeing woods for three months. Please do something with him.

[Matt]

Well, it is. Yeah, it's a charged subject. Drugs are charged subject. Everyone says feelings one way or the other. So, yeah, I guess that is kind of. You can only. You can only kind of go off, like, what works for you, what doesn't.

[Nick]

Yeah. Yeah.

[Matt]

For love of God, stay off the fence, dude.

[Nick]

Yeah, stay off the fence. That's a good message to say.

[Matt]

Yeah, I think that's a fair one. That's a fair one. Well, dude, thank you.

[Nick]

Thank you, dude. I really appreciate it. Thanks for having me on.

[Matt]

Appreciate you, man.

[Nick]

This was. This was a good time.

[Matt]

Yeah, man.

[Nick]

You should come out to LA sometime. Come on my show.

[Matt]

If I'm out there, I will for sure.

[Nick]

Hit me up, dude. We'd love to have you.

[Matt]

Hell yeah.

[Nick]

Yeah.

[Matt]

Later, brother.

[Nick]

Peace out, guys.

[Matt]

Watch new episodes of Matt and Shane Secret podcast on Spotify. Do. You.