Ep 617 - Irish Good Morning

Summary

Matt and Shane's Secret Podcast

Episode 617 - Irish Good Morning (May 29, 2026)

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Main Theme / Purpose

This episode finds Matt McCusker and Shane Gillis in classic form, riffing on everything from nostalgia and midlife reflections to run-ins with eccentric neighbors and animal encounters. They spiral through topics like the cultural impact (and disappearance) of Chuck E. Cheese animatronics, the social role of smoke breaks, run-ins with fans ("the lads"), their latest favorite YouTube rabbit holes, and an extended, irreverent exploration of communism and Mao Zedong’s legacy. Throughout, they blend personal anecdotes, irreverent humor, and off-the-cuff philosophizing, all with their signature down-to-earth, self-mocking tone.

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Key Discussion Points & Insights

Chuck E. Cheese, Nostalgia, and Cultural Shifts

• Matt opens with an observation about how Chuck E. Cheese has changed from creepy animatronics to just screens, invoking both nostalgia and relief.
  • ["No animatronics. Screen the 2D, brother." - Matt, 00:18]
  • They speculate if the horror game "Five Nights at Freddy’s" led to the change (00:47).
• Both reminisce watching old Chuck E. Cheese animatronics on YouTube, emphasizing how much scarier they were than remembered.

The Lost Art of Smoke Breaks & the Mythical Water Cooler

• Matt shares his brother’s theory that the decline of smoke breaks and in-person work has eroded fundamental social rhythms for men.
  • ["It's us up. Like, we don't know how to like chill. That was like a whole rhythm baked into the day..." - Matt, 01:27]
• They both joke that the "water cooler" conversation is a myth—real office banter happens at the microwave.
  • ["Water cooler myth." - Matt, 02:10]

Irish Good Morning: The Ritual of Self-Doubt

• Shane describes waking up trying to feel depressed about life comparisons to his parents, only to realize he’s actually doing well.
  • ["I was just laying in bed trying to... Trying to be depressed." - Shane, 02:33]
  • ["Irish jeans in the morning were like. It's just so much trouble in me." - Matt, 03:12]
• Both agree that their sense of “trouble” and self-doubt rarely matches reality.

House Hunting & Meeting the Neighbor

• Shane shares a story about house-hunting with LaMarr and an encounter with a potentially intimidating, shirtless ex-Texas lineman neighbor.
  • ["He came outside shirtless. Played. But he used to play ball at Texas." - Shane, 04:36]
• They joke about forming an offensive line with their neighbors.
• Their speculation touches on neighborly dynamics, latent tension, and potential culture clashes.
  • ["It could be a simultaneous be like when they find those like rat nests..." - Shane, 07:12]

Football, Life Lessons, & Unsung Heroes

• Extended riff on the humility of offensive linemen and coaching youth football.
  • ["That's why I always liked about the O line. I was so humble in the O line." - Matt, 08:24]
• Shane reminisces about coaching eighth-grade read-option football and shouting out his former players (“Dill Pickle”, “Danny J”, etc.—09:32).

Birds, Nature, and the Simple Pleasures of Aging

• Shane excitedly reports hawk sightings behind his house, while Matt recalls encounters with burrowing owls in Florida.
  • ["That's... most of my day. I was just standing in the pool, just looking at a hawk, going, I gotta send this to my boys, dude." - Shane, 11:02]
• They wax poetic on becoming increasingly interested in identifying trees and native flowers.
  • ["That's the best thing about becoming an old man. You get to just start just being like. That's a silver birch over there..." - Matt, 13:37]

The Lads: Fan Encounters and the Secret Demo

• Shane and Matt discuss meeting many fans who identify as “the lads”, noting their loyalty but elusive nature.
  • ["The lads might be our strongest demo." - Shane, 16:30]
  • ["Everyone thinks they can capture... the hearts of the lads, but they're complex creatures." - Matt, 17:01]
• Funny anecdote from O’Connor about being recognized by a lad at a movie theater (16:44).

Dr. Umar, Viral Roasts, and the Art of Being Called a Neanderthal

• Shane reveals Dr. Umar (prominent internet commentator) called him a Neanderthal after the Roast (23:07), and the ensuing playful back-and-forth.
  • ["Dr. Umar called me a Neanderthal." - Shane, 23:10]
  • ["I enjoy watching him. I think he's hilarious." - Matt, 23:29]
• They riff on starting rival schools and the idea of “Aztec School for the lads”.
• Further banter on the parallel between charismatic racists (Umar, Farrakhan) and the appeal of unapologetic personalities.
  • ["You can’t deny talent when you see it. When I see Farrakhan, I go, that's a talented guy, sorry." - Matt, 29:09]

Movie & TV Reviews: The Evolving Taste of Aging Men

• Reflections on recently watched films:
  • "Wolf of Wall Street" no longer appeals: ["I used to love this movie... As an elder man, I was like, these guys are punks." - Matt, 34:47]
  • Preferring “Legend of Bagger Vance” and “Million Dollar Baby” for their depth and less crass tone.
• Anecdotes about how context (“set and setting”) can totally change a movie’s impact.
• Realization that "Goodfellas" still always holds up. (37:17)

StreetBeefs, Scrapyard Fights, and YouTube Rabbit Holes

• Extended session on the charm of YouTube street fight circuits ("StreetBeefs", "ScrapYard") and fantasizing about jumping in.
  • ["I'm all street beefs." - Shane, 49:01]
  • ["Every time I watch it, there's a part of me being like, bro, I want to get in the plywood, dude." - Matt, 50:28]
• Discussion about fighter nicknames and heartwarming/hardcore pre-fight stories (Barn Dog, Death Sentence, suit-wearing fighters, 49:27–52:00).
• O'Connor informs them about the “Pacific Northwest contingent” of StreetBeefs ("ScrapYard", 50:11).

Male Health Anxiety: The Tick on the Sack Saga

• Matt tells his brother’s horror story of finding a lump on his testicle, thinking it was cancer, only to discover it was a tick.
  • ["He felt a little lump on the testes, and he goes, dude, he was just like, that's it. I'm dead..." - Matt, 52:26]
• Hilarity and male emasculation ensue as the tick-removal process is described.
• They discuss the dangers of Lyme disease and extreme fasting as a (dubious) home remedy (55:14–56:16).

Communism, Mao Zedong, and Historical Atrocities

• Shane brings up watching a Mao Zedong documentary, spiraling into an extended (but comically irreverent) discussion about the brutal realities of communism and the body counts of 20th-century dictators (60:02–69:00).
  • ["It's important to study communism... ‘cause all the youngsters these days, they think it's far out and fly." - Shane, 60:21]
  • ["It's not really sharing—it's government taking everyone's property." - Shane, 60:53]
  • ["How are you even comfortable calling yourself a communist if that many people died?" - Matt, 60:33]
• They marvel that despite tens of millions killed under Mao, China did eventually become a global superpower.
  • ["If you're not afraid to kill most of your population, you'll be number one." - Shane, 66:10]

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Notable Quotes & Memorable Moments

On Animatronics/Chuck E. Cheese

• "No animatronics. Screen the 2D, brother." - Matt, 00:18

On Smoke Breaks & Office Mythology

• "Water cooler myth." - Matt, 02:10

On Irish Self-Destruction

• "Irish jeans in the morning... so much trouble in me." - Matt, 03:12

On Neighbor Tension

• "It's just an interracial gay couple being like, this is a fabulous neighborhood. He could be a problem." - Shane, 04:43

On Aging & Small Joys

• "Most of my day, I was just standing in the pool, just looking at a hawk, going, I gotta send this to my boys, dude." - Shane, 11:02
• "That's the best thing about becoming an old man: you get to just start being like, 'That's a silver birch over there.'" - Matt, 13:37

On "The Lads"

• "The lads might be our strongest demo." - Shane, 16:30
• "Everyone thinks they can capture the hearts of the lads, but they're complex creatures." - Matt, 17:01

On Dr. Umar (after roast)

• "Dr. Umar called me a Neanderthal." - Shane, 23:10
• "I enjoy watching him. I think he's hilarious." - Matt, 23:29
• "I have the same thing for the honorable whatchamacallit, Mr. Farrakhan... I love Farrakhan. Sorry. I just, I watch him, I go, he's so funny." - Matt, 28:03

On Evolving Movie Taste

• "I used to love this movie... As an elder man, I was like, these guys are punks." - Matt on Wolf of Wall Street 34:47
• "Goodfellas is great every time." - Shane, 37:19

On StreetBeefs/ScrapYard

• "I'm all street beefs." - Shane, 49:01
• "Every time I watch it, there's a part of me being like, bro, I want to get in the plywood, dude." - Matt, 50:28

On Male Health Paranoia

• "He felt a little lump on the testes, and he goes, dude, he was just like, that's it. I'm dead..." - Matt, 52:26
• "Son of a... Hit the Bill gate tick right in the sack." - Matt, 55:05

On Communist Atrocities & Irony

• "It's important to study communism... ‘cause all the youngsters these days, they think it's far out and fly." - Shane, 60:21
• "If you're not afraid to kill most of your population, you'll be number one." - Shane, 66:10

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Timestamps for Important Segments

• 00:00–01:17 — Chuck E. Cheese memories and animatronic nostalgia
• 01:26–01:58 — Lost smoke breaks, water cooler myths, modern work culture
• 02:33–03:43 — "Irish Good Morning" & existential self-doubt
• 04:01–05:45 — House-hunting, meeting the intimidating ex-lineman neighbor
• 08:20–09:12 — Football humility and coaching anecdotes
• 10:15–13:37 — Birdwatching, nature as therapy, aging guy topics
• 16:23–17:30 — Fans ("the lads"), public encounters, and demo analysis
• 23:07–24:44 — Dr. Umar roast fallout, school for lads, humorous “white only” school riff
• 34:47–37:49 — Taste change: Wolf of Wall Street, Goodfellas, Bagger Vance reviews
• 49:01–52:00 — YouTube rabbit hole: StreetBeefs and Scrapyard fighting obsessions
• 52:26–55:14 — Testicle tick story; health paranoia and masculine indignity
• 60:02–69:00 — Deep dive on communism, Mao Zedong, and mass death with irreverent historical commentary

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Overall Vibe & Recap

Combining irreverent digression with moments of real reflection, Matt and Shane weave a tapestry of jokes, confessions, and observations on modern life, culture, and their own evolution. The episode is rich with callbacks to fan culture, inside jokes about aging, and recurring interests in YouTube fighting leagues, all peppered with raucous humor and welcome moments of self-deprecation.

Fans of the show will appreciate the seamless jumps from absurd hypothetical battles to overly honest takes on existential issues, and the signature blend of sincerity, mockery, and chaotic friendship.

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Recommended for:

• Longtime Matt & Shane fans
• Listeners craving a blend of cultural commentary, nostalgia, and raw comedy
• Anyone interested in the strange beauty of aging, camaraderie, and "secret" guy talk

Transcript

[Matt McCusker]

The wild wild west, dude. I just, it blew my mind. I had to talk to somebody about it.

[Shane]

No, I'd like to hear about it.

[Matt McCusker]

Chuck E. Cheese is no longer, it's not a, I think Bargazi actually has a joke about it. I think he, or maybe he joked about how scary it was, but like, you know, we all know the classic Chuck E. Cheese. I was like talking to my kids like, yo, guys, it might be a little scary in here. They have like up looking mice dancing. And on stage you go to a Chuck E. Cheese now. No animatronics. Screen the 2D brother. I know, but if you look, if you, I like YouTube. The old Chuck E. Cheese, like, maybe I was just like making it up. It's more up than you could imagine.

[Shane]

Old Chuck E. Cheese.

[Matt McCusker]

Yes. It's so scary. I like, was YouTubing people at the party, like, this is what it used to look like.

[Shane]

When did they change it, you think?

[Matt McCusker]

I think maybe in, maybe in the, what's okoner call it the ots.

[Shane]

Yeah, the early aughts.

[Matt McCusker]

Maybe the early aughts. Yeah.

[Shane]

I, I, I bet they changed it. When? Five Nights in Freddy's. Or what's that called? Five Nights at Freddy's. It's like a little kid video game where the animatronic things come to life at night and kill you, attack you. I bet when that, because that was a hit.

[Matt McCusker]

Yeah, I bet.

[Shane]

Bringing the kids to see the actual animatronics, it was probably chaos in the chuck E. Cheese 2012. When did Five Nights come out? Oh, that was later.

[Matt McCusker]

That would be crazy.

[Shane]

That's theory going.

[Matt McCusker]

Yeah, this is a good theory. I have another. My brother gave me a really good theory recently.

[Shane]

What is it?

[Matt McCusker]

Sean's gonna like it. It's about how smoke breaks so people don't go out anymore and like stand with each other and smoke cigarettes. And he thinks it's having like a, it's us up. Like we don't know how to like chill. That was like a whole rhythm baked into the day where like everybody like, all right, let's step outside. All the bros have to like hang out together for a while, puff cigs, talk about whatever. Because really like you and a bunch of people would sit there all catch the nicotine buzz at the same time. And it's like a really nice combo. Yeah, it's a nice combo. It's, it's like a part of our life that now we miss.

[Shane]

Yeah. Now everyone also works from home too.

[Matt McCusker]

Don't even get to go around the water cooler.

[Shane]

Yeah.

[Matt McCusker]

Which. The water cooler is a myth, by the way. I've never. I've been in an office twice. I never once got to chat around the water cooler.

[Shane]

No kitchen.

[Matt McCusker]

Microwave.

[Shane]

Microwave and coffee.

[Matt McCusker]

That's where you chill.

[Shane]

Yes.

[Matt McCusker]

Water cooler myth.

[Shane]

That's where you come in and see your weird manager eating out of a Tupperware. Jesus.

[Matt McCusker]

Just microwaving soggy broccoli.

[Shane]

Think about him making that at home. You lonely? I hate him.

[Matt McCusker]

Yeah, yeah, yeah. You start to see a little bit. You're like, ah, this guy's sad too guy. He's still a.

[Shane]

Everyone's. This is kind of embarrassing. Ah, it. I'll say it. It's kind of too my own horn. Whatever. This morning, I woke up being a. I. I was just laying in bed trying to. Trying to be depressed. Like, I was like. I was laying in bed like, damn, dude. My parents were in, like, their 20s when they had my family, and, like, I'm old. Like, my kids aren't even gonna. Like, I'm 38, and instead of having kids, I just. I did pretty good. Caught myself. I was trying to be like I didn't do with my life, and it took me a second to be like, actually, shit's pretty sick, dude. Nice.

[Matt McCusker]

That's so funny. Your Irish jeans in the morning were like. It's just so much trouble in me.

[Shane]

Yeah.

[Matt McCusker]

So much trouble.

[Shane]

Terr. Trouble. Oh, I should have had kids. I'm gonna die alone. I. Instead, I pissed away my life. No, I actually had a good life. Nice. Yeah. Yeah, it is funny. Like, then I got out of bed, I was like, nice. It was a good start.

[Matt McCusker]

It is nice trying to run the old program and just being like, such a. I up, stupid piece of. You look around. You're like, what am I gonna do today? That's awesome.

[Shane]

Go look at a house.

[Matt McCusker]

Look at this dumb house. Damn it.

[Shane]

House. It's the coolest house I've ever seen.

[Matt McCusker]

Natural redwood flooring. Actually kind of sick now.

[Shane]

I did. Me and Lamar just went and looked at the house. How was it, America? Lamar asked to come with me, who was. Check out the new digs now. He was.

[Lamar]

He.

[Shane]

He was checking out the house more than me, I bet. But yeah, it's home inspector I had. I'm like. I walk in, and the lady's trying to tell me how everything works. I'm just like, talk to him. I'm never gonna

[Matt McCusker]

do. You get gay couple phobia every now and again.

[Shane]

Yes. The neighbor, dude. The neighbor is the man. What the Neighbor's the man. Fuck that. He came outside shirtless. Yes. Played. But he used to play ball at Texas.

[Matt McCusker]

What?

[Shane]

Yeah. He's an older lineman. Came out with his big dog. A dog was with him. That was great.

[Matt McCusker]

God, that's.

[Shane]

And he was just like. At the end, he was like, so, who's thinking about moving in here? I was like, me. He's like, where are the women? It's just. Just you and that black guy. Worst nightmare yet. Like, yeah. Blue Lives Matter on his truck. It's just an interracial gay couple being like, this is a fabulous neighborhood. He could be a problem. He was. That was the discussion of the car. That's the type of guy that.

[Matt McCusker]

Yeah.

[Shane]

Could eventually mean it. I might have to have a shootout with him and his dog eventually. I think we'll be boys, but.

[Matt McCusker]

Well, you're thinking boys are enemies.

[Shane]

I think that guy's down to pull out the blicky.

[Matt McCusker]

What?

[Shane]

I think he'll pull it out in one second.

[Matt McCusker]

Whoa. Anything?

[Shane]

Probably noise.

[Matt McCusker]

Yeah. Mary, you'd have to tread lightly around there.

[Shane]

He was shirtless. Longhorns, trunks, Longhorns visor. He's a legend. He could be a real issue.

[Matt McCusker]

That's. I mean, that's crazy. Also, what do you think he was, tackle or guard? Because you guys could form the O line. Who are the other neighbors?

[Shane]

True. Lame. Lamizi's D tackle, though.

[Matt McCusker]

Yeah.

[Shane]

He doesn't have the O line build.

[Matt McCusker]

Damn.

[Shane]

Doesn't have the length. But you do have a good nose guard. Nate's grown into an offensive guard. Nate went from DB to O line.

[Matt McCusker]

Nice. Fight at a higher weight class right now. Damn. That's crazy.

[Shane]

Yeah, he's. He seems like the man.

[Matt McCusker]

Yeah.

[Shane]

The. I don't want to be smirched. Yeah, whatever. The lady, the real estate lady was

[Matt McCusker]

like, I think he, like, drinks.

[Shane]

I was like, me, too. I was like, I think this guy's gonna be my boy. He's older. He's an older gentleman. He blocked for Earl Campbell.

[Matt McCusker]

What?

[Shane]

At Texas. Which is awesome. Yeah. What's the fence giveaway is. This is hardly a fence.

[Matt McCusker]

Yeah.

[Shane]

The whole house is. My house is that I would buy. It'd be like, just glass. That guy's gonna watch me and Lemaire naked.

[Matt McCusker]

Just a different level.

[Shane]

Two different fat, naked guys.

[Matt McCusker]

Maybe you guys will catch. I'm sure he's prancing around as well. I think.

[Shane]

Yeah.

[Matt McCusker]

Damn.

[Shane]

I think we might have the most vicious three way of all time. That would end the world. Yeah. That old guy had sex it's like the hadron collider.

[Matt McCusker]

It would create the God particle. I mean that's of all.

[Shane]

There'll be a triple heart attack. It could be a simultaneous be like when they find those like rat like rat nests or those call and they all get stuck. A rat. Yeah. Stuck together and dead. All right.

[Matt McCusker]

God damn. This episode is brought to you by Prize Picks. The regular season's done and the NBA playoffs are here. Time to get in on the action with Prize Picks, a preferred partner of the NBA.

[Shane]

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[Matt McCusker]

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[Shane]

Perfect neighbor.

[Matt McCusker]

O line neighbor. Yeah, humble.

[Shane]

Too humble, man.

[Matt McCusker]

That's why I always liked about the O line. I was so humble in the O line.

[Shane]

You have to be humble, dude.

[Matt McCusker]

Protecting the quarterback. I'd be like, with my life, I'll die for him. Yeah, dude, this is. No one ever celebrates you guys. I'm like, dude, if you keep talking like this, I'm gonna come. I was only like 10. I was only 10, but I was already like, this feels so good.

[Shane]

It feels good, dude.

[Matt McCusker]

Be like, dude, nobody even noticed. You're the silent hero. I was like, yeah, I guess you're kind of right, coach.

[Shane]

Yeah, I've always been kind of the quiet hero.

[Matt McCusker]

Although, dude, makes sense though. You have like a 37 year old dad. Be like, nobody appreciates you guys. You're like, that's must be the most fulfilling thing. You're working your ass off. No one even notices.

[Shane]

Yeah, it's nice football coaching.

[Matt McCusker]

Really must be so sweet.

[Shane]

I only got to do it one year, but it was awesome.

[Matt McCusker]

You did?

[Shane]

Yeah, Got to call plays. It was really fun.

[Matt McCusker]

Well, you were coordinating.

[Shane]

I was up in the booth, dude.

[Matt McCusker]

What were you. What was your style?

[Shane]

It was. It was early. We were on the read option. We were. It was. We were a little ahead of our time.

[Matt McCusker]

Yeah.

[Shane]

Yeah.

[Matt McCusker]

High school or is that like.

[Shane]

No, eighth grade read option.

[Matt McCusker]

Eighth grade.

[Shane]

Yeah. We had some talented ball players with some guys out there.

[Matt McCusker]

Yeah.

[Shane]

Shout out, Dill Pickle. Shout out, Danny J. Shout out Darb. What up? I'm coug what up the coug. Shout out, Jay. What up, boys?

[Matt McCusker]

I'm still sweating. I ran the option when I played beach football like five months ago, and I. It was beautiful. Faked it. They bought it. I ran, I fumbled. I'm still thinking about that fumble. Could have changed the whole game.

[Shane]

Where'd you fumble?

[Matt McCusker]

We were. We were in the red zone or I was like, yeah, I got us into the red zone. Fumbled, and I was just like. It was after I was showing somebody into a girl, which also regret.

[Shane]

Reminds me of that video game. Fumble. Oh, damn.

[Matt McCusker]

Now it's real.

[Shane]

Yeah. Oh, tough, humble. Oh, I got good bird news.

[Matt McCusker]

What you got?

[Shane]

I have seen some runs kicking around. They're out in the. They're out behind there.

[Matt McCusker]

Are they really?

[Shane]

But a hawk. Two hawks have moved in. Not into the Bud Light box, but just right here.

[Matt McCusker]

They're hawking.

[Shane]

There's two hawks. It's very exciting. Yo, some red shouldered hawks.

[Matt McCusker]

Yeah, I was just about to ask for the id.

[Shane]

Yeah, Red shoulder dogs, dude. I don't know if they come to Texas, but. Yeah.

[Matt McCusker]

How'd you I.D. you went off.

[Shane]

Yeah, but it was pinged in, like, Pennsylvania.

[Matt McCusker]

Gotcha.

[Shane]

Yeah. Sent a picture to a friend and they aied it.

[Matt McCusker]

Your phone. Your phone can do it?

[Shane]

I could. Yeah, I could have done, but they did it for me. Just sent them a picture of the hawk. I said, check this out.

[Matt McCusker]

It's more satisfying. Honestly.

[Shane]

That's. Again, that's most of my day. I was just standing in the pool, just looking at a hawk, going, I gotta send this to my boys, dude.

[Matt McCusker]

Getting the idea on the hawks now, especially.

[Shane]

Yo, that owl you had was, bro.

[Matt McCusker]

Burrowing house endangered species. I had the privilege of being. I was walking around, they were everywhere. And, dude, they. I, I was. I mean, this was a huge moment for me in the daytime. Dude, the burrowing owls are all daytime.

[Shane]

That's good stuff.

[Matt McCusker]

I know.

[Shane]

I think that's good luck.

[Matt McCusker]

I mean, dude, I. I must be. Well, I could use it right now. I'm down right now, but I could use it down in the dumps.

[Shane]

All right, Just run the. Just run the Irish morning program. I'm so down on my luck. Things are so terrible.

[Matt McCusker]

No, I'm chilling. But the owls were. No, I'm perfectly fine. But the owls. The owls were really nice, man. They were really. They were pumping me up.

[Shane]

It's funny that every episode, the wheels are just flat emotionally. For the last 10 years, we've both just been like, no, I'm actually doing good things. Are good right now. It's been nuts.

[Matt McCusker]

Totally fine, fully in control. Everything's cool.

[Shane]

Everything's completely fine.

[Matt McCusker]

My life's not a giant house of cards. I could collapse.

[Shane]

Yep.

[Matt McCusker]

But yeah, the do the owls. I got to. Because I was there. Brittany goes, that's when birds come into play big time, dude.

[Shane]

You see some birds, you go, it's

[Matt McCusker]

gonna be all right, dude. There it was. Birds during the day, night time. My dad has a. A fish light. So out near the dock. He's on, like, the bay in Florida. Out near the dock, this green light illuminates, and you just throw chicken into the water. Brom Totteno. I show these guys maybe 25 catfish swarm, and they pop you. They, like, will come up to their, like, whiskers, breach, and then they gobble it up and fly down.

[Shane]

That's awesome.

[Matt McCusker]

It's. Dude, I was living by burrow owls, and then obviously lizards were carrying me through this.

[Shane]

Great.

[Matt McCusker]

And then it was the catfish at night time, and it was just so. It was so nice. I also id'd. I remembered the. The owls, by the way, Brittany tried to say, oh, they can turn their head 360 degrees. I was like, I think it's 270. Looked it up. It's too 70, bro.

[Shane]

Holy 270. I mean, that felt good clocking your with a 270. I mean. Oh, you're gonna tell me about else.

[Matt McCusker]

Yeah, watch this. Yeah. And then I was like, well, they could do they degrees. The head.

[Shane]

The degrees is incredible. O' Connor saw the hawk when he came over yesterday was like, look at its head. It's moving at about 280. Like, I'm not kidding. Like, the first thing he said was the degrees of the head turn.

[Matt McCusker]

That's the best thing about becoming an old man. You get to just start just being like. That's a silver birch over there. It's pretty nice. My. My dad is crazy. I'm. I'm getting pretty nasty at the trees. Trees and native flowers. I'm pretty. I'm getting pretty good at. I'm. It's killing me. I want to put some out your front so bad. It's blank.

[Shane]

What?

[Matt McCusker]

You have a whole blank.

[Shane]

Oh, yeah, that.

[Matt McCusker]

Yeah, that's every. Every week. I'm like, I'm gonna go to depot

[Shane]

and just load up.

[Matt McCusker]

Just plant, like, nine different things.

[Shane]

When I moved here, they did have landscaping out front.

[Matt McCusker]

Must not be sprinkled. This should just become old man Home Depot talk. They probably don't got it sprinkled out There.

[Shane]

If I had to guess, there is a sprinkler.

[Matt McCusker]

Is there a sprinkler system?

[Shane]

Yeah, it's nice.

[Matt McCusker]

I'll have to dig that up and see where the lines are.

[Shane]

Yeah, we're gonna have to check the lines out. This episode is brought to you by Mint Mobile. Sick of giving all your money to big wireless? Mint Mobile has high speed data, unlimited talk and text on the nation's largest 5G network. And it's 15 bucks a month for the first three months. Like your money, Mint Mobile is for you. Shop [e-mail] Drenched upfront payment of $45 for three month. Three month five gigabyte plan required. Equivalent to 15 per month. New customer offer for the first three months only. Full price plan options available. Taxes and fees extra. See Mint Mobile for details.

[Matt McCusker]

Well, yeah, dude, Florida was sick though, man. I was just paddleboarding on the bay. It's like my. It was the best.

[Shane]

That's awesome.

[Matt McCusker]

Although I got on the paddle board, I left it outside in the sun like a. So I wanted to use it. It was hot. So when I went, I like, went too far. And I was like, I'll be fine. I was like splashing water to cool down, but it was hot on my feet the entire. The entire time. Kind of burnt my feet on it. But it was nice. I got lost too. I got lost a little. I got lost enough to where I like had to really try to find the house while paddle boarding. Yeah, I went out. It's a canal, so it's all like. You go and twists and turns. And I was like, I want to go all the way out to the bay. And then I was like, that's kind of far. And then I just like turned around, came down. I was like, dude, I. For real, I'm lost. Yeah, I saw one tiki hut and I was like, that's my landmark. When I came back, there was nine tiki huts.

[Shane]

Everyone has a tiki hut.

[Matt McCusker]

Yeah, so that was cool. I got. I got to feel the feeling of land ho.

[Shane]

What are you guys whispering?

[O'Connor]

Oh, he got his spot switched.

[Shane]

You got a free death. Damn.

[Matt McCusker]

You think that. You think the spurs have a chance?

[Shane]

Yeah, I think tonight they have a. A real chance.

[Matt McCusker]

That would. I actually. I want the.

[Shane]

I'm pulling for him, trying to get the. Trying to get some tickets to the spurs game tonight.

[Matt McCusker]

The arena is probably the loudest I've

[Shane]

ever heard, like a basketball game. When I went to see Sixers vs.

[Matt McCusker]

Spurs, they were those. Those.

[Shane]

The lads go crazy. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

[Matt McCusker]

The lads are going wild.

[Shane]

I've run into the lads a lot lately.

[Matt McCusker]

Have you really?

[Shane]

Yeah, out in public, and they've all been very like, yo, the lads are with you.

[Matt McCusker]

The lads, dude. The lads.

[Shane]

Yeah, the lads might be our strongest demo.

[Matt McCusker]

I. I think they're for real. Very up there.

[Shane]

They. With the secret police.

[Matt McCusker]

They do. Did you really?

[Shane]

You saw a lad in the movie theater? What happened?

[O'Connor]

I was playing the claw machine, waiting for my movie, and he went, gardini, what's up, man? And he went, oh, that's actually you.

[Shane]

And I was like, how are you?

[O'Connor]

I went and saw Obsession.

[Shane]

Good to see the foos.

[O'Connor]

Yeah, he was a nice guy.

[Shane]

The lads and the foos.

[Matt McCusker]

Yeah. That's nice. I. The lads are stunned. They do tell you. They always tell you swear allegiance, Yo. We with your podcast. Very nice, dude. You have no idea how much that pleases me. It's not. It's. It's a. It's a. It's a. It's a finicky demo, man. Not every. Everyone thinks they can capture the heart of the lad, the hearts of the lads, but it's. They're complex creatures.

[Shane]

They are.

[Matt McCusker]

Everyone thinks, oh, I'm gonna get the lads. Every politician is like a Latino vote. It's like, bro, talk to me. Talk. We'll talk about.

[Shane]

Yeah, we'll tell you how it's done.

[Matt McCusker]

Yeah, we'll tell you how it's done.

[Shane]

Yeah, they kill Tony. Had the lads, too. Yeah, for sure. Lads like w.

[Matt McCusker]

Yeah, they're the Aztecs and Mayans, dude.

[Shane]

True.

[Matt McCusker]

They're warriors.

[Shane]

Exactly.

[Matt McCusker]

Also, I'm fluffing the lads. They love hearing that. No, the la. They are a very, like. I mean, the memes are the best when, like, the. The red pill, blue pill for the lad has become like a. Like an extreme maga. Trump conservative or just like, a black guy. Red pill, blue pill. They basically. It's like you become like David Duke or.

[Shane]

Yeah, I'll be excited if we go to San Antonio tonight. Yeah. Yeah. That'll be exciting stuff.

[Matt McCusker]

That'd be nice.

[Shane]

I'm gonna be excited to see Jared McCain. I'm gonna go. That's my man.

[Matt McCusker]

You also got to be careful you don't get grabbed and hugged on like that Mexican president you see when the lady got hugged. You see the lady got hugged on.

[Shane]

Yeah.

[Matt McCusker]

The lads might get a groping if you get a barrack.

[Shane]

If Nate's with me mean, Nate's getting touched.

[Matt McCusker]

You got to jump in front of it, dude. If a lad comes to Grope him like the Mexican president. I'll take the group. I'll take the guys.

[Shane]

I'll take the group.

[Matt McCusker]

What would you throw at him? Throw that ass at him.

[Shane]

I could only go so far. I can't. I can't say the allegations are bad, dude.

[Matt McCusker]

Yeah, that slim good. That slim goody sunk you, dude.

[Shane]

Yeah, Slim good. He got you.

[Matt McCusker]

I didn't know Brittany was a massive fan of Cheryl Hines or sure Underwood. My bad. I'm thinking of might me but yeah,

[Shane]

you got Bobby Kennedy on the mind. Got Bobby Kennedy after you grabbed those snakes and they. You see that video again?

[Matt McCusker]

He already grabbed.

[Shane]

He loves grabbing snakes.

[Matt McCusker]

Yeah, it's pretty wild. Yeah, yeah. It's. He did another one because he did one a while back also. Hey, that's how you. That's how you get the lad Vote. Grab a copperhead from behind, lads. You want. Yo, this fool crazy. You got your food crazy. Meter has to stay high. Yeah, I gotta keep my food crazy beater high at all times. Can't let that dip. Then you're lame. It's fool crazy and lame, man. You gotta stay.

[Shane]

Who you think the craziest fool is in our group? I think Tommy might be the. Or o'. Connor. O' Connor might be the craziest essay. He's loco.

[Matt McCusker]

I mean him claiming 280 on a hawk. Some crazy food hawks don't have. First of all, hawks don't out turn owls. That's crazy.

[Shane]

I wish it did have. It did have pretty impressive movement.

[Matt McCusker]

Did it really?

[Shane]

Yeah.

[Matt McCusker]

We got to look that up.

[Shane]

We need see head movement on a red shouldered hawk. We're gonna need that 270 on now. And I also was like got the team on it. All three. Oh, all three struggling. Two of them already went to Instagram. Oh, 180.

[Matt McCusker]

I like that. 180 is not bad. I was gonna say it's no 270. There's no way. Huh.

[Shane]

Wow. What kind of hawk?

[Matt McCusker]

Just a red shoulder so they can get what's. So they get 180 but they how if they don't move? You said they can get the 270. Yeah.

[Shane]

Like if they're standing still and they're like you got some good. You might be a little out.

[Matt McCusker]

You got like 120. Dude. That was crazy.

[Shane]

Nice move, dude. Don't do that again.

[Matt McCusker]

I did. The first thing I did when I was claiming 270 was to go outside and go and just see how much I had. Ours is pitiful.

[Shane]

Lamar. You might Be possessed. That head movement. You like the Exorcist.

[Matt McCusker]

I hit. I hit an inappropriate. We went to the zoo in Naples. Like, I was outside of Naples. We took my family to the zoo, and there was a tiger cage, and no one could see the tiger. My kids are like, I can't see it. Where is it? I'm like, you know, a trick for seeing tigers, and they're like, what is it? I'll turn for the camera. I went, oh,

[Shane]

Jesus. We are. We are old men. It's just an old dad racist. At the zoo, nobody left.

[Matt McCusker]

Just my wife huffed and walked away. Yeah. I was like, that was good. That was good.

[Shane]

It's a good one.

[Matt McCusker]

That was a good one.

[Shane]

I haven't seen that one in 40 years.

[Matt McCusker]

We know. You never get the opportunity to bust that out. My kids were like, dude, how do you do it?

[Shane]

I hit them with it.

[Matt McCusker]

They're like, what? I was like. I was like, just keep going.

[Shane]

They're doing that. They're breaking that up. They're gonna break that out in school. Obviously, another kid's gonna talk about tigers in school. At their age, tigers is, like, top five conversation pieces.

[Matt McCusker]

Yeah, it was a fun one. Hopefully I turn far enough of the game.

[Shane]

I think. I think we can it.

[Matt McCusker]

We can just blur. We get black box.

[Shane]

We've already. Dude, the white boys already went dumb, dude. Pandora's box is already open.

[Matt McCusker]

Pendulum. The pendulum, I mean, needs to chill. Pendulum. Pendulum might be 270. Pendulum might be 270.

[Shane]

Dude.

[Matt McCusker]

It was funny because I didn't realize I've been off the Internet, so I didn't realize how massive the roast was until this morning. I saw a super cut of every single person. I'm like, oh, this went, like, around the world. This one everyone was talking about. The goddamn.

[Shane]

Dr. Umar called me a Neanderthal.

[Matt McCusker]

What?

[Shane]

Dr. Umar called me a Neanderthal.

[Matt McCusker]

Tell him you want to see the fredless Frederick Douglass Marcus Garvey Academy open, and then you'll talk. Ask him about the school.

[Shane]

Yo, you're gonna get that too.

[Matt McCusker]

Ask him about the school. I try to get him on. He charges, like, 10,000 bucks to. Come on. We should pay.

[Shane]

It would be funny. Yeah, he's really funny.

[Matt McCusker]

I actually. To be Honest, I like Dr. Rumor. Yeah, so do I. I'm not just saying that. I enjoy watching him. I think he's hilarious.

[Shane]

Yeah.

[Matt McCusker]

His. When he does the things. When people can call in and send things in is yes.

[Shane]

When he reads his live chat and he blocks people, it's the best. It's awesome. He has to know it's funny because he reads what they said.

[Matt McCusker]

He knows. He's got to know. I just, I want to see the school.

[Shane]

I mean, I think it's funny getting called a Neanderthal.

[Matt McCusker]

It's hilarious.

[Shane]

I was, I was all right with it.

[Matt McCusker]

Yeah. Kind of.

[Shane]

I don't know if he's trying to be funny, if he's actually upset. I, I apologize to Dr. Umar.

[Matt McCusker]

I, I, I, I think he's smart. He's a smart guy. I think he knows, he knows what plays.

[Shane]

Probably edit this out, but I was thinking about purchasing his school and naming it the Robert E. Lee School for white only. Yeah. I'm gonna name it Neanderthal. Robert E. Lee, Ronald Reagan, Richard Nixon Academy.

[Matt McCusker]

What about school for the Aztec School for the lads?

[Shane]

Aztec School for the lads would go crazy.

[Matt McCusker]

That'd be tight.

[Shane]

I think, making it hold on. The Robert E. Lee, Ronald Reagan, Richard Nixon's school for higher Learning. And then, and then actually dumping a ton of money into it and making it really successful and actually helping the community just as a bit. Dude,

[Matt McCusker]

that would be a good bit.

[Shane]

It's a good bit.

[Matt McCusker]

I want to, I just want to see it open, man. I'm not trying to break the guy's balls. I just, I'm, I want to. I've been here about the school for a while. My God. Yeah.

[Shane]

What happened with the school?

[Matt McCusker]

It's just, it's never open. It's been fucking 10 years.

[Shane]

Open the school.

[Matt McCusker]

It's got to open the school. I mean, especially before he starts coming at, you know, Neanderthals. He shouldn't be watching the roast. Get the school going.

[Shane]

True.

[Matt McCusker]

The hell you doing? Get the fucking school going. That is, it is. I don't know. It's a funny thing. It's a funny thing. Just have the school going to be like, dang, they wiped out my accounts again. You know that happened, right?

[Shane]

No.

[Matt McCusker]

Wiped out his account. So he got hacked. Oh, the money. Ready to get the school going. They wiped out his bam account.

[Shane]

Somebody hacked him and stole his money. And it wasn't him. He didn't spend it. Somebody else did. Son of a. That keeps happening, dude.

[Matt McCusker]

It. I was like, like, no, I immediately donate it.

[Shane]

I don't want.

[Matt McCusker]

He put the cash app up.

[Shane]

I immediately smoke.

[Matt McCusker]

I for real, genuinely enjoy him. I think he's fun. His, his, his just like vigilance on the snow bunnies is my favorite. It's my favorite. Someone needs to stay focused, man.

[Shane]

Oh, yeah, he would.

[Matt McCusker]

Sorry. Someone

[Shane]

Also right back at you.

[Matt McCusker]

True.

[Shane]

You know, you guys are both. Dr. Umar should be. Dr. Umar should like me, dude. He should hate you guys.

[Matt McCusker]

What the.

[O'Connor]

True, true.

[Matt McCusker]

I was even thinking of my own sins. Damn. Damn.

[Shane]

I should get him on at the link. Let him just give a talk. Please, please, no comedy. Just give a nice five minute speech on kill whitey and get off stage.

[Matt McCusker]

I mean, the boo would be.

[Shane]

Would be awesome. He would Love that bill. 80,000 honkies booing him. He might ascend, dude. He might start floating,

[Matt McCusker]

might evolve.

[Shane]

He would evolve.

[Matt McCusker]

Pokemon out.

[Shane]

You might just split in half. There could be two, doctor. He could start multiplying. 80,000 white booze.

[Matt McCusker]

That's how, that's how Al Sharpton lost all that weight.

[Shane]

Split. He would kill at the link.

[Matt McCusker]

So far you have sliders, Dr.

[Shane]

I forgot about the sliders, dude.

[Matt McCusker]

Sliders in the background while Umar just does his thing. It'll be so nice. He's the prince of Pan Africanism. He is the best. Dude, it is funny when someone's hating on you. It's like, dude, I love you.

[Shane]

I love him. I love you.

[Matt McCusker]

There's nothing you could say I love you. I've watched, I feel, have watched so much of his stuff.

[Shane]

Yeah, when those guys make fun of you, it's very funny.

[Matt McCusker]

It's awesome. He's real. One of my favorite breakfast club guests.

[Shane]

Yeah, he's awesome.

[Matt McCusker]

He's amazing. So I've never.

[Shane]

I've never really seen him do anything I didn't think was awesome. Every single time I see him, I go, oh, yeah.

[Matt McCusker]

I have the same thing for the honorable whatchamacallit, Mr. Farrakhan. I. Dude, I love Farrakhan. Sorry. I just, I watch him, I go, he's so funny. Yeah, I've talked about it before. Him on donahue in the 90s was maybe the best TV thing I've ever seen appearance I've ever seen anyone do.

[Shane]

They just have him with like Nazis.

[Matt McCusker]

It's. No, it's him and his. No, it's just him ripping and just talking. And he has all of his like Nation of Islam guys standing there like bow tie standing real militant. But he's. These are just 90s. Well, they're just 90s housewives being like, you know, he'll like, lay out his grievances and they'll be like, go back to Africa if you're so upset. It'll be like, no, that's the. I'm talking about. But it wasn't even like, how dare you? He's like, that's exactly. And he just keeps going on. And then he hits this Jewish lady. I didn't know he had a problem with the Jews until I watched that clip. And he. She brought it up. And I just watched him go, I have some stuff for this. And he just goes in. I'm like, damn.

[Shane]

That's one of his big grievances.

[Matt McCusker]

Yeah, he's. Yeah, beefing. Beefing with him. But, yeah, he rules. I mean, dude, I. You can't deny talent when you see it. When I see Farrakhan, I go, that's a talented guy. Sorry.

[Shane]

Of course.

[Matt McCusker]

Yeah. I separate the art from the artist. I guess the town of guy. Yeah, I like what he does. Sorry.

[Shane]

Honestly, it's kind of impressive. More black guys are not as racist if we were allowed to just be extremely racist.

[Matt McCusker]

Yeah, we had our day in the sun.

[Shane]

Just allowed to be racist.

[Matt McCusker]

Yeah, completely.

[Shane]

They do a pretty good job not doing it.

[Matt McCusker]

It's. It's pretty. It is pretty impressive. Honestly, it's pretty impressive.

[Shane]

I was thinking to myself, I'd be bow tie, glasses. Immediately be so fun being like, what'd you say, you pink pig? Be awesome.

[Matt McCusker]

Yeah, that is pretty amazing to not. Yeah. Go into full force. It's pretty amazing. But I think, too. I don't know, maybe it's like, you know, you're kind of like, you know what? Let me, like, put down the sword. If you've been nicked with the sword a couple times, you go, yeah, maybe I won't wield the sword myself as hard. Although I would just come back ten times harder. Yeah, just. It's so funny just knowing you'd be pure bean pies right off the bat. Yeah, people don't talk about the black Muslim enough. I miss them there. I have. I haven't seen a black Muslim in Texas. There are so many in Philly. And they are. Some of the. They're. They're. They're rad.

[Shane]

Yeah, they're red.

[Matt McCusker]

Black Muslims are rad. I used to work with this black Muslim guy. He was. I worked with many black Muslims. Not bragging, but the one guy I worked with was for real. One of my favorites. He put me onto this television show. Might have been the worst show. Did you ever see the 100?

[Shane]

No.

[Matt McCusker]

Oh, I. I. Dude, he hyped me on the show. I ended up watching two seasons and

[Shane]

was just like, I remember you watching it.

[Matt McCusker]

It's. He. He was like, bro, the show. He was talking like, this is gonna. This is it. And I watch it. This dude, the premise Is sick. Then you watch and you're like, this is the gayest show I've ever seen. It's one of those. I've actually. It's seven. It went seven seasons. And I. I do at some point want to watch the finale of the seventh season just to see where they went with it. It'd be kind of fun.

[Shane]

This episode is brought to you by bluechew. Oh, yeah. Fellas, let me introduce you to bluecho Gold.

[Matt McCusker]

Yo.

[Shane]

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[Matt McCusker]

sex is not just be about being able to perform. I totally agree with that. It's about actually wanting to now.

[Shane]

Wanting to is extremely important for sexual intercourse.

[Matt McCusker]

A million percent, dude. Yeah. And we've got a special deal for our listeners right now. When you buy two months of BlueChew Gold, you get the third free with promo code drenched. You'll also receive an additional 10 off plus free overnight shipping on your first order. Visit bluechew.com for more details and important safety information.

[Shane]

Oh, yeah. July 17th at the link, please, please come to that. I think we just released a bunch of new tickets, so it's almost sold out.

[Matt McCusker]

So hurry up, guys. Six, five. That is June 5th. June 6th, I'll be at the Summit City Comedy Club, Fort Wayne, Indiana. But then I'll be in Spokane Comedy Club. 8, 13, 20, 26. 8 14, 20 26. Spokane Comedy Club. And there's a bunch more dates coming. They should be on my website. They're not for some reason. I'm gonna dig into that and update you guys. Go to Matt McCusker dot com. Anything good? Have you watched anything good?

[Shane]

Yeah, I watched train dreams.

[Matt McCusker]

Oh, the Dennis Johnson book?

[Shane]

Yeah, I guess.

[Matt McCusker]

Yeah, yeah, yeah. In the beginning, they didn't have them throw the Chinese guy off the cliff, did they?

[Shane]

Yeah, they did.

[Matt McCusker]

They did, yeah. Okay, because I know they did that in the beginning of the book, but did he help?

[Shane]

He slightly helps. He grabs his legs and he's kind of saying, like, what do you do? Like, why are you guys doing this? But he still kind of like, grabs his legs.

[Matt McCusker]

Gotcha.

[Shane]

But then gets kicked off and then they throw him.

[Matt McCusker]

Okay. And did the Chinese guy die in the movie? Yeah, because he does in the book. He doesn't. He, like.

[Shane]

I haven't Finished it yet?

[Matt McCusker]

Clambers. Oh, my bad. What did they throw him?

[Shane]

They throw him off a bridge?

[Matt McCusker]

Yeah, I think he, like, in the book, just like. Like, catches the thing and just kind of, like, clambers away.

[Shane]

They don't show you. They definitely don't show them surviving. Okay.

[Matt McCusker]

Yeah. It was. What's funny in the book, because he just is walking home and he's like, what, are they throwing a Chinese guy off a cliff? And they're like, yeah, I'll help. And he just doesn't even then he doesn't. He's like, I was kind of up. I should have done. Yeah. I don't know why I was so eager to help that guy. It's pretty sick. How far. How far into it are you?

[Shane]

Two thirds.

[Matt McCusker]

Okay.

[Shane]

Yeah.

[Matt McCusker]

Yeah. It gets kind of freaky there towards the end.

[Shane]

It gets so far. It's pretty sad.

[Matt McCusker]

Just the saddest.

[Shane]

I didn't think it was gonna be that sad.

[Matt McCusker]

No, I had it recommended. I'm like, oh, cool. You know, like, I like the time period. And then, like, right away I was like, oh, yeah.

[Shane]

It's pretty devastating.

[Matt McCusker]

They'll find her.

[Shane]

Yeah. Not in the woods. Nothing good happens in the woods.

[Matt McCusker]

Yeah, no, that was. That was pretty good. The. You know what was surprising? I re watched recently, and I was. I actually wasn't a fan. It was Wolf of Wall Street, I thought. I loved that movie. And I re. Watched it, and I'm like. The whole first 45 minutes is like. Then I got. Then I got again. They tell you how much drugs we did? Oh, yeah. And I was like, dude, I was watching. I'm like, I used to love this movie. I watched it as a. As an elder man. I was like, this guys are punks. Yeah, they're punks.

[Shane]

Yeah.

[Matt McCusker]

It was also, like. It was just. It was just. I. You know, I was watching it with a. With Britney, so I'm kind of like, all right. He's blowing cocaine up her butt with a straw. Sure. She's gonna. Not like, what is this? Yeah, just let it go. It's a good movie. And then it was just 40 straight minutes to be like. And then she sucked my dick. And I was like, jesus, yeah. Christ.

[Shane]

It's a comedy.

[Matt McCusker]

Yeah.

[Shane]

So you watch it as this guy's a. Yeah, true. And it's.

[Matt McCusker]

I'll tell you what. Then we watch Legend of Bagger Vance.

[Shane]

Jesus. And it was. It's been years.

[Matt McCusker]

It was awesome.

[Shane]

Yeah.

[Matt McCusker]

She was like, this is much better. And I was like, dude, I'm not gonna lie. This is much better. Not even gonna hate. This is. I mean, I thought the Wolf of Wall street was, like, one of the best. If you had asked me before that, I'm like, yeah, it's one of my favorite movies.

[Shane]

Yeah.

[Matt McCusker]

Re. Watch it.

[Shane]

I was like, I think it was the setting you were in. Yeah, I think that'll affect it for sure. With the babe just going, this movie is kind of me. Yeah, it's kind of. This movie's gonna affect my night because now my wife's gonna be like, is that what you want to do? No, of course not. I would hate that. Just getting a ton of. And doing coke with my friends and being extremely rich. So it sucks. No, I like this.

[Matt McCusker]

When he was talking about, like, his cousin and, like, what they would do with a retarded kid, he's like, I throw it out in the woods. I was just, like, in the bed being, like. Just looking over and over, like, gets better.

[Shane]

All right.

[Matt McCusker]

Could have been set and setting. You're right. Could have been set and setting. But I. I genuinely was like, you know what? This is. This is kind of getting old, man. What the. Bagger Vance was just next level bag events.

[Shane]

Is Moses.

[Matt McCusker]

Moses, dude, for real Was. I never saw Bagger Vance. It was amazing. I thought the movie was about Will Smith crushing it at golf.

[Shane]

No.

[Matt McCusker]

The whole time I thought Will Smith just crushed it in golf and not the case.

[Shane]

No. But is he just a caddy? Caddy. Secret caddy.

[Matt McCusker]

Super spiritual caddy. Yeah, it's all about the field. It was kind of sick, though. Bagger Vance. Two thumbs up. Wolf.

[Shane]

Wall street dude. No.

[Matt McCusker]

Didn't like it. It was. It was just. I was like, no, you're right.

[Shane]

I'm gonna have to give it a re. Watch.

[Matt McCusker]

It's too much.

[Shane]

Yeah.

[Matt McCusker]

Too much. And it's too much of that. Like. I know what you're thinking. Me and my boys are crazy. That was. That was big during. What is it called? Not Fight Club. Entourage. Entourage was big in. And what was the snatch that was that big. Like, this is the craziest thing you'll ever see.

[Shane]

Yeah. And it'd be like, Scorsese does a lot, though. Yeah, he always does it.

[Matt McCusker]

Yeah, He's a master. Obviously. I'm not gonna. You know, I just. It was good, fellas.

[Shane]

Holds up, though.

[Matt McCusker]

Goodfellas is great.

[Shane]

It's great every time.

[Matt McCusker]

Yeah.

[Shane]

It's always been confused because I. When I lived with Tommy, he would watch it every night. He'd be drunk watching Goodfellas like, yeah, this guy watches every now. I. I understand.

[Matt McCusker]

Yeah.

[Shane]

If you're drunk, it's one of the best movies. So good.

[Matt McCusker]

Just toss it on.

[Shane]

Yeah.

[Matt McCusker]

Yeah. No, it was. I. I'm. I'm getting old. I was watching. I'm like, this is crass. This is very crass. Disturbing.

[Shane]

It's crude.

[Matt McCusker]

It was crude.

[Shane]

It's crude.

[Matt McCusker]

It was very crude.

[Shane]

There's no two ways about it, Matt.

[Matt McCusker]

Yeah, then he had. Yeah, you know what? You're totally right. It was just him.

[Shane]

Jerk of Wall Street.

[Matt McCusker]

Just him leaving his wife and this chicken. I'm like, that's not good stuff right there.

[Shane]

Come on.

[Matt McCusker]

Crap.

[Shane]

All right. Turn this crap off. I don't even daydream about stuff like that. That's crazy.

[Matt McCusker]

Put on Bagger Vance. Yeah, I might start watching Bagger Vance.

[Shane]

Watch the Notebook. That's good that your husband dies. Yeah, that's what you.

[Matt McCusker]

Let's watch. Let's run Chuck a lot back, but, yeah, I was. I was. I was movied out, dude. I was just crushing movies every night. Million Dollar Baby. That was a sad one.

[Shane]

I don't think I've ever seen that.

[Matt McCusker]

MDB is sad, bro. Yeah. And it's funny because I knew. Are you familiar, like, kind of with the plot line?

[Shane]

Yeah.

[Matt McCusker]

So I kind of knew what was coming. Brittany had no clue, so she's like, you know, like, oh, she's gonna take over and be the champ. And I was just like, kind of. We'll see.

[Shane]

Well, that's what happened to me watching Train Dreams. I was like, man, this guy's life is awesome. Let's go to bed. Like, like, what the was that?

[Matt McCusker]

It's sad as hell.

[Shane]

That could have been why I woke up with the. With the Irish Good morning.

[Matt McCusker]

That'll do it.

[Shane]

Yeah.

[Matt McCusker]

I. I.

[Shane]

The Irish good morning. And just, like, look at you, you piece of. Your life's in shambles.

[Matt McCusker]

Told you. My mom hit me up the other day with just the worst news about people I don't even know. And I was like, thanks. That's. Yeah, every day. Horrible. That's absolutely horrible. I guess this is a little grim. I'm like, yeah, this is. I don't need this right now.

[Shane]

Yeah, I'll be on a walk.

[Matt McCusker]

I don't know.

[Shane]

I don't want to walk. My mom will call and just be like, their kid's not doing good. Oh, my gosh. Who. Who are these people? It's a girl I used to work with, like, in the 90s. Do they live around us? It's like, that they're in Kentucky now. So you're just calling to tell me about a terrible tragedy in Kentucky right now?

[Lamar]

Like.

[Shane]

All right, Mom, I'm gonna go. Oh, okay. Oh, all right. Have we talked for too long? Oh, my God.

[Matt McCusker]

I mean, they gotta offload that because that does get crazy. Getting older and older to win. Like more. I mean, I know, like, I don't know how many people, you know your age range that died. It's been like not a ton, not too many. But yeah, it's. They get to the age where it's like people start dropping and all you can do is party at the beach. Party hard. Just stay tuned to the Fox News. Parrot the.

[Shane]

Yeah. Dude, we have to bomb Iran. I mean, bro, I think we bombed him again yesterday. You're wrong.

[Matt McCusker]

I think so. Gotta be done.

[Shane]

Oh, here we go.

[Matt McCusker]

Another one.

[Shane]

There's a Trump fart video that. Dude, there's another fart video has dropped. Send me the link. Send me the link, dude, I'll try to verify this. Cuz these farts are crazy.

[Matt McCusker]

There was a lot of farts on both sides of the aisle for a while. The fart vids are huge. Sorry, I just farted myself. I mean, doesn't he like crush Mickey D's?

[O'Connor]

And I saw he just got out of the hospital or something. He did a checkup or whatever.

[Matt McCusker]

It was all amazing.

[O'Connor]

Yeah, I'm sure everything was great.

[Matt McCusker]

Everything was amazing, dude. Sharp as hell.

[O'Connor]

Best farts.

[Shane]

He's also 80. In crushing McDonald's. The farts must be chaos, dude. Yeah.

[Matt McCusker]

Hey, there's got. When you're 80, there's got to be parts of you that are kind of dead already.

[Shane]

Everything.

[Matt McCusker]

You're looking Pirates of the Caribbean guy. Is it. Is it real? We gotta get. I gotta get.

[Shane]

Dude.

[Matt McCusker]

I have it right here. Damn. It's like an old, like, it's an old. Yeah, Nixon mic.

[Shane]

I'd like to see it.

[Matt McCusker]

That'd be crazy if that was. If that was his like secret Nixon recordings or just like, Just non stop farts.

[Shane]

Oh my God, dude, this.

[Matt McCusker]

Let me see.

[Shane]

So fake.

[Matt McCusker]

I mean, stepping behind the column is respectable, if true. It's so what?

[Shane]

Here's the thing, dude. The people in front not dying, laughing. It can't be real.

[Matt McCusker]

They're trained. They're trained. They're trained, dude. They're machines.

[Shane]

You can't be trained for that.

[Matt McCusker]

Driven that far.

[Shane]

No one on earth can survive that.

[Matt McCusker]

Yeah, yeah, the fart. The political like fart smears are crazy because it's like you have no way of proving if it's true or not.

[Shane]

Those. Yeah. And that was recorded from a dis.

[Matt McCusker]

Yeah.

[Shane]

There's no way if that's real. That's awesome. Yeah, yeah.

[Matt McCusker]

He's outside. It looked like.

[Shane]

Yeah. But he was behind the column and I'm saying the acoustics of the old. You want to believe, dude.

[Matt McCusker]

Yeah. That far. Dude.

[Shane]

That's a living sniff. That far. He pooped his pants.

[Matt McCusker]

Ew. Smells Like a 39 count felon.

[Shane]

Yeah.

[Matt McCusker]

Yeah. There was a. There was a major AOC was get. Getting levied to farts. AOC apparently had farts. Trump had farts. Biden apparently himself. There was a lot of in himself and farts going around like Covid in their co. Era.

[Shane]

Yeah. The shoes on the other foot now. And the Republicans don't like it much.

[Matt McCusker]

True, true.

[Shane]

See, it's kind of mean when you fake audio. If it's real, then that's incredible.

[Matt McCusker]

We need to get verified. I mean, how do you. You'd have to call the journalist and they'd have to be like, yeah, I was there. He farted. It was crazy. It's crazy.

[Shane]

It could be a whistleblower. One of the. One of the Secret Service could be like, dude, that was real. He uncorked one as soon as he got out of the car.

[Matt McCusker]

I mean, what's the point of being the president if you have to hold in your farts? You know what I'm saying?

[Shane]

You're.

[Matt McCusker]

You're the boss and you gotta just hold in your. No, you move behind a pillar gentlemanly. You probably learned that in etiquette school. You find. Find a giant stucco pillar, you just rip. Yeah, I. I was back on the cheese for the vacation. I was. That was nothing.

[Shane]

You were hitting cheese, bro.

[Matt McCusker]

I was. I was crushing cheese.

[Shane]

All Vacay beach farts are crazy, dude.

[Matt McCusker]

It was. Yeah. Fully sun powered chi and then be watching Bagger Vance and just. I was real. I just was my dad that was in my dad's house just doing exactly what he does is watching movies with a lady and farting and then feeding catfish. It's pretty much all I did.

[Shane]

All. It was kind of nice where it's at.

[Matt McCusker]

Yeah, it was. I mean, I can. You can tell I'm sun maxing right now too. I'm completely. I was telling them I'm getting melanated or dying trying this summer.

[Shane]

That's all you can do.

[Matt McCusker]

I. I just. That's all.

[Shane]

I'm gonna die.

[Matt McCusker]

I am.

[Shane]

That's what happens to all of our. Our Ancestors.

[Matt McCusker]

Dude, I got a nice. I mean, I have like a solid.

[Shane]

That's a crazy tan, dude.

[Matt McCusker]

Bro, I just been getting. I've just been raw dog in the sun. Just letting it just crush me. It's been kind of. I. Dude, I sleep good. I feel better. Yeah, my nose. No, I'll get sun cancer in 20 years, but that's nothing, bro. You get that the MJ lasers cut it right out. Yeah, my dad got. My dad has skin cancer a couple years ago. They just cut that right up.

[Shane]

He'll have skin cancer every 10 minutes.

[Matt McCusker]

Yeah, who cares?

[Shane]

It's non stop.

[Matt McCusker]

It's nothing.

[Shane]

He sun maxed his whole life. It's wild. He's one freckle. At this point, he literally became a black guy. He's Dr. Umar. He all his freckles joined forces.

[Matt McCusker]

He's got to open the John Elway Fred Doug Flutie Academy.

[Shane]

John Elway Academy.

[Matt McCusker]

True.

[Shane]

Yeah, I should just. Yeah. The Larry Bird. The Larry Bird Academy for higher learning.

[Matt McCusker]

I feel really bad if he opens it tomorrow. Like, although I feel good.

[Shane]

Yeah, that'd be great.

[Matt McCusker]

That'd be great. If our. Our voices. We found power in our voices and

[Shane]

got them to open up.

[Matt McCusker]

Be nice. Send my kids there.

[Shane]

He would not be happy, dude. I wonder how he feels about that.

[Matt McCusker]

Poorly. He would hate.

[Shane]

He would hate that.

[Matt McCusker]

Yeah, he'd be furious. What are you talking about? He would not like it. Although I wonder. I wonder. I wonder if you, you know, if you commit to the bit. I wonder if there's a part of his heart that goes like, I love all children. He has to be like, shut up, dude. You're gonna ruin her whole career. Yeah, Everything we built. You hate them.

[Shane]

Yeah.

[Matt McCusker]

Although I mean, I don't. He probably doesn't hate them.

[Shane]

He probably. Too bad Stern doesn't get down like that anymore. We could have Umar verse. What was that guy's name? Carver. Daniel Carver. The Klansman that he used to bring on Stern. Carver versus Dr. Umar would be a battle.

[Matt McCusker]

That would be a battle. You could probably still set that up. And honestly, it's like, you know it's a fake. It's a. You let them debate.

[Shane]

We could do that from now. That could be a little segment you and I do on the show. Dude. Just do racist battlebots. Every week you bring a different type of racist guy. A racist fool would be sick, dude.

[Matt McCusker]

Oh, they're out there too, bro. They are out there. Yeah. Getting a nice little sending like a racist foo against like, like a U of T gender studies major. Would be so nice.

[Shane]

Yeah.

[Matt McCusker]

So it'd be. We'd have to throw in the red flag. It'd be three seconds. Like, you'd be like, all right, come on. Hold on.

[Shane]

Hey, get him out of here.

[Matt McCusker]

Hold on. My food.

[Shane]

My food's going wild. Racist battlebots would be sick.

[Matt McCusker]

Dude, Be awesome.

[Shane]

You and me could just not be on camera. Yeah, but you may have two people sit right here and just let them be racist to each other.

[Matt McCusker]

We get Mystery Science Theater. You just see our heads right in the camera and, like, I'd like to hear you elaborate on that. Actually, he was. Keep going. What do you mean by that? Now's the period of the question response and we'll step in if we need to moderate. You haven't Heaven just. That'd be nice. It'd be nice, too. Just having just like, they almost, you know, the dudes are calling a sports radio. Just letting guys go, dude, like, yo,

[Shane]

what do you think about people call in?

[Matt McCusker]

Yeah. Or just come in. Having them come in and be like, yo, the floor is yours. You're a steel worker from Montana battling whoever. You know this guy, some weird guy who believes in aliens. Go rip. It would be like the scrap yard, but for debate. Yeah. Where it's just. I mean, I'm. I'm all scrapyard right now.

[Shane]

Of course.

[Matt McCusker]

I'm all street beefs.

[Shane]

Shout out street beef.

[Matt McCusker]

Street beefs. Is street beef scrapyard the same thing, or is it similar?

[Shane]

I think so.

[Matt McCusker]

Okay, well, they've been getting. I've been seeing a lot of.

[Shane]

Look it up.

[Matt McCusker]

Yeah, we need. We need. We need some intel on that, please. We. I've been seeing a lot of like 55 year olds versus 21 year olds. God, it's a really good matchup.

[Shane]

Oh, boy. What's his name?

[Matt McCusker]

What's the guy?

[Shane]

Something like that.

[Matt McCusker]

What's the guy fighting for his fallen friend? Barn Dog.

[Shane]

Barn Dog's nice.

[Matt McCusker]

Barn Dog's real nice.

[Shane]

Gas station white.

[Matt McCusker]

Shout out.

[Shane]

Gas station.

[Matt McCusker]

Gas station white. Yeah. Barn Dog. The speeches are the best.

[Shane]

Yeah.

[Matt McCusker]

So my friend killed himself fighting for him. It's pretty. And you really root for him.

[Shane]

You sent me that guy.

[Matt McCusker]

Yeah. How'd you like the guy? He goes, this is just a test.

[Shane]

That was trouble. Dog said is he found his friend hanging and he had to cut him down.

[Matt McCusker]

Yeah. That's tough.

[Shane]

Yeah.

[Matt McCusker]

Yeah.

[Shane]

Thanks. Thanks, Lemaire. That involved Paul said it in the mix.

[Matt McCusker]

Although you can see it is fighting though, man. He's. He like. That's what I thought. I mean, being a 55 year old

[O'Connor]

scrapyard is like the Pacific Northwest street beefs contingent.

[Matt McCusker]

Okay.

[O'Connor]

They're all under the street beefs umbrella. Yeah, but it's not Satan's backyard. It's a different.

[Matt McCusker]

You ever fantasize about throwing your hat in the ring in a scrap yard? Yeah, I'd be real.

[Shane]

So scary.

[Matt McCusker]

Yeah, I think about it, I think about it. I'd have to be very selective about the fight. But it's, I. Every time I watch it, there's a part of me being like, bro, I want to get in the plywood, dude.

[Shane]

You want to fight? Death Sentence.

[Matt McCusker]

Who's defense?

[Shane]

Matt. Matt versus Death Sentence.

[Matt McCusker]

Who's Death Sentence?

[Shane]

He's a spindly fella.

[Matt McCusker]

Is he a knockout artist? He's a jiu jitsu guy.

[O'Connor]

What's his.

[Shane]

I feel like he kind of loses a lot. He's an anime black guy who kind of.

[Matt McCusker]

Oh, I saw him. I saw him.

[Shane]

Yeah, yeah.

[O'Connor]

He trains under the tutelage of Demetrius Mighty Mouse Johnson.

[Shane]

Yeah, but there's another one. There's an anime white that fights C. What's his name? Winged C, Wing C. He's nice. He's from Lancaster. 717s it all in the scrappy street beefs. Excuse me.

[Matt McCusker]

Yeah, I, I saw that guy, the anime black guy who was like run

[Shane]

in which again, who's the guy in the suit that acts like a weirdo, that like acts like he's teaching?

[O'Connor]

I don't know his name, but I know exactly what you're talking about. He acts like he's like in a John Wick movie or something.

[Shane]

He's pretty good.

[Matt McCusker]

Yeah, yeah, it's, I mean it's. And every now and again there'll be guys, I think they do a good job putting skill against skill. They don't, they don't really. A couple times they've whiffed a couple times.

[Shane]

Once a while they feed a guy the lions, dude. Papas is the suit guy. Yeah, it was a black guy. I just watched. He was wearing a suit and it was a good battle. And then in the third round, his shirt was off and I was like, all right, it's time to. Yeah, it's time to lock in. Yeah, now you're in trouble, dude.

[Matt McCusker]

Scrap yards. I don't know, man. I, I, it might be my preferred arena of watching.

[Shane]

Dying in the scrap yard would be so awful.

[Matt McCusker]

Bury me, dude, right in the center ring. It'd be nice even if I got like really hurt. Just bury me right in the center ring.

[Shane]

Sprained wrist. That's it. I'm done, dude. Bury me at the scrap yard.

[Matt McCusker]

Oh, I didn't tell you my. Speaking of bury me, dude, my. My brother had. He was in the shower. He's telling me about. It was killing me. He had the. He's in the shower, and he's just, like, soaping himself up, and he felt a little lump on the testes, and he goes, dude, he was just like, that's it. I'm dead. Like, I'm not doing anything. I'm not gonna talk about it. I'm gonna ride this out. It's over, bro. I got the big C. I'm out. And then as he's investigating, he's like, what the. And he found out it was a tick. Oh, my God. That had burrowed.

[Shane]

Oh, my.

[Matt McCusker]

Halfway worse. I know, dude. So he had. He had it burrowed in to his nuts. And once he found this out, he was like. He went to his wife and was like, yo, you got to get this thing out of me.

[Shane]

Oh, my God.

[Matt McCusker]

So, dude, he goes. He was like, huge. First of all, big mistake. Both. Both me and my dad were like, you got to go to the emergency. You can't have your wife do that, because they don't do. They're going to just pick you right in. Dudes. Well, it's just also, there's. Women don't have a. You know, they don't realize how truly sensitive and like. Like, terrifying that is to get hit in the nuts or like a tick in there, of all things. So, I mean, if it was soaking, if it was, like, sucking come out, you'd be sick. But, like, just all day, like,

[Shane]

it

[Matt McCusker]

was on your epididymis. That's a different thing's wrong. But it was. It was just there. So then he was like, you know, obviously, she's pulling it out. No respect for the sack. Just yanking at that thing. And he goes, dude. Like, he's like, I was demoted. Just multiple leagues in her. Because, like, he's like. It ended with, like, I was such a baby about it. I had, like, a towel over my top half of my body. I was like, oh,

[Shane]

of course.

[Matt McCusker]

I know. The whole time he was telling me, I'm like, you're so right. And he goes, no, but, dude, like, the whole time, like, he was like, I. I was. I was beyond crying. I was like. And then finally it out.

[Shane]

This is. I mean, now I want to check my sack. I think this is the second time we've caused the listener to true physically react, including turning his neck as Hard as he could. I think. I think almost everybody listening wanted to go. I wonder how far

[Matt McCusker]

dude, I. He was telling me the story the whole time. I was going, no.

[Shane]

And right now, everyone's going, I should definitely check my nuts.

[Matt McCusker]

You got to check your nuts. Apparently there was. You know, the ticks are big. Apparently Everyone thinks.

[Shane]

Yeah, they're. They're going wild right now.

[Matt McCusker]

Everyone thinks it's Bill Gates ticks.

[Shane]

I think they are Bill Gates.

[Matt McCusker]

He had a Bill Gates tick.

[Shane]

Son of a.

[Matt McCusker]

Hit the Bill gate tick right in the sack. And dude. And he.

[Shane]

Yeah, he has to go to the hospital. That's.

[Matt McCusker]

Both me and my dad were like, bro, that's.

[Shane]

Find out if he has Lyme's disease now.

[Matt McCusker]

He already conquered Lymes disease. He fasted for two weeks straight. He did a 14 day fast. Conquer life. He didn't eat for 14 days. He claimed it helped him.

[Shane]

He claimed it helped him. He probably destroyed himself. People don't recover from that limes. No. Like, prisoners of war that are like,

[Matt McCusker]

no, you can rock, dude. You can do two weeks.

[Shane]

Yeah.

[Matt McCusker]

He dry fasted for four days until his vision blur. And he's like, I for real thought I was gonna.

[Shane]

Yeah, I think that you up.

[Matt McCusker]

He didn't drink water for four.

[Shane]

Another fasting community. Obviously, I'm not the one to speak on it.

[Matt McCusker]

14's crazy. I've done five, and I felt like, all right, this is getting. But apparently what happens is after, like, you know, one day is like, oh, two days. Like, damn, I feel amazing. So he said it would just be up and down. You'd be like, awesome. I think by the end of it, he was genuinely up. You start like, all kinds of crazy out too, because you're. I don't know what's going. When you don't eat. Your body's like, all right, just get rid of all this stuff. He claims he looked into it. That helps with Lyme disease. It could be wrong. Look that up, guys. Let's see. Let's get some information on 14 Day Fast.

[Shane]

Yeah, I think he's.

[Matt McCusker]

Because what even is. I don't even know what the it is.

[Shane]

I think it's a. I think it was a bioweapon.

[Matt McCusker]

Lyme disease.

[Shane]

Yeah, could be. I think it was. I think it came from a military island off the. Yeah. Off the coast of Connecticut. Limes. Connecticut. And all the ticks maybe got out.

[Matt McCusker]

They escaped.

[Shane]

What the freak started biting all the Yankees up there. Ah. All the Ocon men were getting like, sweet o' con man. We're getting bit going, oh, great.

[Matt McCusker]

Now I'm tired in the afternoon like a bell's palsy. Let's get the science.

[O'Connor]

It says. Well, right off the bat, Google AI Gemini says, no, it is not scientifically proven to cure.

[Shane]

AI Hates fasting, but it may help

[O'Connor]

reduce overall inflammation and promote cellular repair. So. So yes, it doesn't eradicate the bacteria, but it can help in certain things. And you should also take antibiotics because you could get up from Lyme's disease.

[Matt McCusker]

Yeah.

[O'Connor]

Like you can. Your joints, hearts, nervous. Joints, heart, nervous system. They could all get up if you don't treat it.

[Matt McCusker]

Sack straight to the motherboard. Dude, that was. That was the Randy Quaid.

[Shane]

Oh, yeah, it was.

[Matt McCusker]

But he got it pulled off and he. Yeah, he was.

[Shane]

How long ago did this happen?

[Matt McCusker]

It was only a couple weeks ago.

[Shane]

Okay.

[Matt McCusker]

Yeah, he said a couple weeks, though.

[Shane]

He's doing all right. It.

[Matt McCusker]

Yeah. So he's all right. He was. He was benched from the. From the bedroom for a while. He's like, bro, I don't think I'll ever smash again. Saw him at his worst. Yeah, lady, just like your hairy ass wiggling like. Which is what I would. Anyone would do if you were getting yourself.

[Shane]

I would definitely react to that. I would never show. I would do that myself. How to do that yourself?

[Matt McCusker]

Oh, the. Pull the tick out yourself.

[Shane]

You would have to.

[Matt McCusker]

I don't know if I could, dude. I had the bug bite on my foot. I couldn't get that thing. I tried to dig it out, but I went right to bay. Like, pull this out, please. You can, but not on your sack.

[Shane]

Yeah, after you take them out. That's at least on your skin.

[Matt McCusker]

You just gotta suck it up and sit in the ER for five hours and let it. Let a lady or whoever.

[Shane]

Actually, can we pause for a second? I do have to pee.

[Matt McCusker]

Let's do it.

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[Lamar]

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[Shane]

Okay. I just want to see the mayor bag on the pavement,

[Matt McCusker]

but, yeah, that was. That was a harrowing tale.

[Shane]

I watched a little documentary on Mao Zedong.

[Matt McCusker]

What's he up to?

[Shane]

He's dead. But he killed a lot of people on the way out.

[Matt McCusker]

A lot.

[Shane]

It's important to study communism.

[Matt McCusker]

Yeah.

[Shane]

Because all, you know, the youngsters these days, they think it's far out and fly.

[Matt McCusker]

Yeah, it's really weird.

[Shane]

It's not usually results in about 50 million people dying.

[Matt McCusker]

Doesn't work typically. Yeah, it's. No, it's pretty. I mean, that's. You know. Again, I've been making the YouTube debate spear watching that, and that's a big one. Like, how are you even comfortable calling yourself a communist if that many people died? And it's like. Well, it's. Because it sounds nice. You know, it's like, no, we share it.

[Shane]

Yeah, but it starts with. With the seizure of private property. Exactly. That's crazy.

[Matt McCusker]

Yeah, it is funny where it's like built on. It's like. It's not really sharing.

[Shane]

It's built on the government taking everyone's property.

[Matt McCusker]

What the.

[Shane]

The government's terrible.

[Matt McCusker]

Yeah.

[Shane]

I don't trust them with anything.

[Matt McCusker]

It'd be horrible.

[Shane]

Why do people want to give them more power?

[Matt McCusker]

What the hell?

[Shane]

Because, Lamar, you love the government. You love the government. We need to pay more taxes. I want to pay more taxes. We need more money. I don't need to pay more taxes. Yeah, you don't. I do.

[Matt McCusker]

Yeah. I mean, it would be funny to be like. With like Nazism. Be like, well, they didn't really do that. Right. They kind of mess it up. We should run it again. That's a big. That's the big communist thing. They go like, well, yeah, that wasn't. They didn't do it. Right, right.

[Shane]

It is actually that they're two.

[Matt McCusker]

What is it? What communism is? What, Two for two? I mean, they have a couple. Yeah, they have two big bad.

[Shane]

The Soviet Union and China are the

[Matt McCusker]

two Big bad boys. Yeah, yeah. Not good. Yeah, it was. I mean, it was like, how many, how many did Mal get? Like 20 mil.

[Shane]

Way more. What? Yeah, in like a three year period. They think it might be. I mean, the, the estimates are no one knows. Anytime something happens in China, they're like, and then 450, 000 billion people died in the yellow revolution.

[Matt McCusker]

Yeah. Yeah.

[Shane]

But no, I think it was like the great leap forward and it was like estimated at 45 mil of starvation.

[Matt McCusker]

God damn. Yeah, and that's, that's how it works. You come into power as the communist leader, then you go, all right, here's the plan. If people are like, I don't know about that. You just murder them. Him.

[Shane]

Yes.

[Matt McCusker]

Because you're like, yeah, okay.

[Shane]

That's kind of this guy's. He's anti revolutionary.

[Matt McCusker]

Yeah.

[Shane]

He's against the party. You got to arrest him. And they did a. Like the way it started was they, they got all the kids, they got like the college students. Yeah. And then they were like, encouraging them to be violent towards like older people in the old system.

[Matt McCusker]

What?

[Shane]

So they'd like beat up their professors and. Which I've been tough to. Tough to not fall victim to that. I go, wait a second, there's a new president saying I should go punch my teacher in the stomach.

[Matt McCusker]

Punch this dork in the head. And then I get all this stuff.

[Shane]

Those kids were definitely getting straight A's though, right before the revolution. Teacher being like, everybody did great again.

[Matt McCusker]

Yeah, that, that. Well, it's one of those things that like, it is funny. It sounds so nice in theory. Like, yeah, we're all share. It'll be nice. And it's like, but in the meantime, we're going to, we're going to just whoop people's ass and then. No, no one. I don't feel like anyone ever does that.

[Shane]

Well under it, the people at the top do. Yeah. Every single time. They do really good.

[Matt McCusker]

That's got to be sweet.

[Shane]

Yeah. The people pigs move into the man's house and start standing and wearing clothes. All the other animals go, what the.

[Matt McCusker]

Being the party boss. Well, I've also heard a thing that, like, communism doesn't even work unless it's global. So they were like, that was like the real dream.

[Shane]

It's Marxist.

[Matt McCusker]

Yeah. They're like, well, it's got to be global. Cool.

[Shane]

Yeah.

[Matt McCusker]

Just a very funny philosophy. Like, yeah, if everybody does it, it'll work. It's like, yeah, it's kind of tricky.

[Shane]

Yeah, it's crud. I Think it's crud

[Matt McCusker]

also, it's not even sharing at that point. You know what I mean? It's like, we should share. And you put someone at gunpoint, you're like, give them that. It's like when you do with the kids, you're like, share your toys. You're like, here. Having a billion people doing that is not. You know, it's not really going to work.

[Shane]

No. They took all their grub, dude. Dude.

[Matt McCusker]

The grub is. Dude.

[Shane]

You weren't even allowed to have restaurants. They had to have government sanctioned, like, canteens where everyone had to eat gruel together. Sucks. Blows dick.

[Matt McCusker]

That sucks so bad. Yes.

[Shane]

And then they miscalculated how much grain they had.

[Matt McCusker]

Ah.

[Shane]

So they're taking all the peasants grub.

[Matt McCusker]

What?

[Shane]

Yeah. Then 45 million people starved. Dang crazy.

[Matt McCusker]

It's massive mistake. Here's the thing. After it happened, do people come out and be like, my bad?

[Shane]

Or was it just like Mal said, my bad? Did he kind of. They, like. They were like, all right, you're not the leader for a few more years. And then he came back.

[O'Connor]

What?

[Matt McCusker]

Yeah. Did he have the sauce or what?

[Shane]

He did. He did have the sauce. That's the thing about all these leaders. They do have the sauce.

[Matt McCusker]

That's true.

[Shane]

So.

[Matt McCusker]

So how many people died the first time? And then he got to come back again. That's kind of nuts.

[Shane]

Swear it was 45 million, roughly.

[Matt McCusker]

I mean, they.

[Shane]

They have no idea. But I heard a guy saying 80 the other day.

[O'Connor]

Yeah, Max, 80. There's. They say. But the great leap forward, they estimate 45. But then over the whole time, they say around 80.

[Matt McCusker]

80, and that's starvation, murder, or, like, just everything.

[Shane]

Camps or.

[Matt McCusker]

Camps. Yeah.

[Shane]

You got to build tractors, dude. We got to get some nice tractors. You're a slave now and you're building tractors because you said you didn't. Like, now.

[Matt McCusker]

That sucks.

[Shane]

Yeah.

[Matt McCusker]

Did that kind of in. You know, it sucks. 90 million people died. Did that step China forward as a power.

[Shane]

Huge. Oh, it works. Oh, no. Yeah. They're on track to be number one right now.

[Matt McCusker]

Oh, God.

[Shane]

Yeah, it works.

[Matt McCusker]

Oh, man, that's terrible. I hope these computers work. Yeah.

[Shane]

You're not afraid to. If you're not afraid to kill most of your population, you'll be.

[Matt McCusker]

You can do one. Yeah. And nobody's been out of shape about it over there, are they?

[Shane]

Kind of like, if you're better out of shape about it, you and your family get killed. So everyone's pretty chill with it today. I'm sure. Today they're fine.

[Matt McCusker]

Yeah. Yeah. They're like.

[Shane]

I think they moved on.

[Matt McCusker]

Yeah.

[Shane]

I'm sure some people hold on to some. I'd be upset.

[Matt McCusker]

Yeah. What year? What year are we talking?

[Shane]

Like, the 50s.

[Matt McCusker]

That's pretty great.

[Shane]

Leap forward was probably end of the 50s, right?

[Matt McCusker]

Pretty. That's pretty recent.

[Shane]

Yeah.

[Matt McCusker]

And so China was, like, pretty poor.

[Shane]

Yeah.

[Matt McCusker]

And then this guy's like, I got it.

[Shane]

They got rocked in World War II.

[Matt McCusker]

Yeah.

[Shane]

Yeah.

[Matt McCusker]

He was basically like, what if we turn people into Legos?

[Shane]

Yes.

[Matt McCusker]

And they were just like, jesus Christ, dude. That's so bad.

[Shane]

Yeah. And then the other government went to Taiwan. That was who we recognized. Right. Like, those are the real leaders of China. And then in the 70s, I think we were like, ah, you guys suck.

[Matt McCusker]

What?

[Shane]

It's China.

[Matt McCusker]

I thought China was.

[Shane]

China is asshole.

[Matt McCusker]

But Taiwan. We don't.

[Shane]

Taiwan was. So the original. The Chinese government escaped during the communist.

[Matt McCusker]

Yeah.

[Shane]

And they relocated to Taiwan.

[Matt McCusker]

Don't we with Taiwan, though?

[Shane]

Yeah, we still with Taiwan, but then we. We finally recognize communist China is the real China.

[Matt McCusker]

Got you. We're like, yeah, you guys, let's stop pretending. I mean, it's kind of embarrassing.

[Shane]

Then they got a nuke, and then they.

[Matt McCusker]

Dang.

[Shane]

Mal. Did get it done.

[Matt McCusker]

I did. I mean, it sucks that, you know. I mean, all those. All. The thing, too, is, once you get to not killing 90 million people, it's almost just absurd.

[Shane]

Now you sound like Joseph Stalin, dude.

[Matt McCusker]

Really?

[Shane]

One death is a tragedy. A million's a statistic, dude.

[Matt McCusker]

It is, dude. In a million, it's just like something like that.

[Shane]

I was close with that quote.

[Matt McCusker]

I think you're. I think you're 100, right? Because if you were telling me, like, he one day, and there was this kid, and he stepped on the kid's head and killed him. Like, monster.

[Shane]

Yeah.

[Matt McCusker]

90. You're like, guy was motivated.

[Shane]

Did he kill now?

[Matt McCusker]

Yeah. The guy had a plan.

[Shane]

This guy's nuts.

[Matt McCusker]

Yeah. That's horrible, man. It's also funny getting kicked out and then being like, yeah, my bad, my bad.

[Shane]

Like, ah. Yeah. Like, all right, we're gonna. You're gonna be vice chairman for, yeah, five or six years. And then you come back, he's player two, and he had a nasty wife. Dude.

[Matt McCusker]

Did he.

[Shane]

Yeah, he married a actress who was like, a loudmouth. Dude. She was a problem. And then.

[Matt McCusker]

Did he kill her?

[Shane]

And then when he died, they sentenced her to death.

[Matt McCusker]

Oh, that's right. I knew she got some sort of death, which kind of.

[Shane]

They just. They changed it to life in prison. And then she killed herself.

[Matt McCusker]

What?

[Shane]

In jail? Yeah. Honoring. Just on honoring the boy, really. He's like, mouse the man, dude, I'm gonna kill myself. Kind of sick, but I think she died in, like, the 90s. Yeah. I did hear it was this recent that we were alive at the same time as his wife.

[Matt McCusker]

Damn. Yeah.

[Shane]

91.

[Matt McCusker]

How did Mal die?

[Shane]

Damn, dude. She was alive for Notre Dame's last title. That's how long it's been, dude.

[Matt McCusker]

Got to watch it from the jail's

[Shane]

wife was like number one. Oh, Ru Holtz.

[Matt McCusker]

And when did he die? How did Mal die? He hadn't been murdered. Right.

[Shane]

He died. I forget. Was it cancer? How did he die? Dang. Yeah. And he had a major heart attack in 1976. He looked exactly like my grandpa.

[Matt McCusker]

Did he really?

[Shane]

Yeah, my mom saw. My mom saw the family as very Asian features. I might be a descendant of the great mouse. I don't.

[Matt McCusker]

Dude. Yeah. I've been meaning to look into that guy.

[Shane]

Might be a descendant.

[Matt McCusker]

Could be.

[Shane]

I'm working on the do right now, dude. I might get the Mal do going.

[Matt McCusker]

He's got the Robotnik.

[Shane]

I'm gonna have to do the mouse. I do. But, yeah, it turns out he was a jerk. I watched enough of it.

[Matt McCusker]

It. We always hear he's a jerk, but then it's like. And you always hear he put up

[Shane]

numbers, but, like, he put up the most. Number one.

[Matt McCusker]

Crazy.

[Shane]

Number one. All time.

[Matt McCusker]

And nobody really, you know, here. He's a bad guy, obviously. But hello. That's true. That's true.

[Shane]

We're gonna edit that out. All right. We did it. Good episode.

[Matt McCusker]

Watch new episodes of Matt and Shane Secret podcast on Spotify. Do it.

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