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Matt McCusker
The wild wild west, dude. I just, it blew my mind. I had to talk to somebody about it.
Shane
No, I'd like to hear about it.
Matt McCusker
Chuck E. Cheese is no longer, it's not a, I think Bargazi actually has a joke about it. I think he, or maybe he joked about how scary it was, but like, you know, we all know the classic Chuck E. Cheese. I was like talking to my kids like, yo, guys, it might be a little scary in here. They have like up looking mice dancing. And on stage you go to a Chuck E. Cheese now. No animatronics. Screen the 2D brother. I know, but if you look, if you, I like YouTube. The old Chuck E. Cheese, like, maybe I was just like making it up. It's more up than you could imagine.
Shane
Old Chuck E. Cheese.
Matt McCusker
Yes. It's so scary. I like, was YouTubing people at the party, like, this is what it used to look like.
Shane
When did they change it, you think?
Matt McCusker
I think maybe in, maybe in the, what's okoner call it the ots.
Shane
Yeah, the early aughts.
Matt McCusker
Maybe the early aughts. Yeah.
Shane
I, I, I bet they changed it. When? Five Nights in Freddy's. Or what's that called? Five Nights at Freddy's. It's like a little kid video game where the animatronic things come to life at night and kill you, attack you. I bet when that, because that was a hit.
Matt McCusker
Yeah, I bet.
Shane
Bringing the kids to see the actual animatronics, it was probably chaos in the chuck E. Cheese 2012. When did Five Nights come out? Oh, that was later.
Matt McCusker
That would be crazy.
Shane
That's theory going.
Matt McCusker
Yeah, this is a good theory. I have another. My brother gave me a really good theory recently.
Shane
What is it?
Matt McCusker
Sean's gonna like it. It's about how smoke breaks so people don't go out anymore and like stand with each other and smoke cigarettes. And he thinks it's having like a, it's us up. Like we don't know how to like chill. That was like a whole rhythm baked into the day where like everybody like, all right, let's step outside. All the bros have to like hang out together for a while, puff cigs, talk about whatever. Because really like you and a bunch of people would sit there all catch the nicotine buzz at the same time. And it's like a really nice combo. Yeah, it's a nice combo. It's, it's like a part of our life that now we miss.
Shane
Yeah. Now everyone also works from home too.
Matt McCusker
Don't even get to go around the water cooler.
Shane
Yeah.
Matt McCusker
Which. The water cooler is a myth, by the way. I've never. I've been in an office twice. I never once got to chat around the water cooler.
Shane
No kitchen.
Matt McCusker
Microwave.
Shane
Microwave and coffee.
Matt McCusker
That's where you chill.
Shane
Yes.
Matt McCusker
Water cooler myth.
Shane
That's where you come in and see your weird manager eating out of a Tupperware. Jesus.
Matt McCusker
Just microwaving soggy broccoli.
Shane
Think about him making that at home. You lonely? I hate him.
Matt McCusker
Yeah, yeah, yeah. You start to see a little bit. You're like, ah, this guy's sad too guy. He's still a.
Shane
Everyone's. This is kind of embarrassing. Ah, it. I'll say it. It's kind of too my own horn. Whatever. This morning, I woke up being a. I. I was just laying in bed trying to. Trying to be depressed. Like, I was like. I was laying in bed like, damn, dude. My parents were in, like, their 20s when they had my family, and, like, I'm old. Like, my kids aren't even gonna. Like, I'm 38, and instead of having kids, I just. I did pretty good. Caught myself. I was trying to be like I didn't do with my life, and it took me a second to be like, actually, shit's pretty sick, dude. Nice.
Matt McCusker
That's so funny. Your Irish jeans in the morning were like. It's just so much trouble in me.
Shane
Yeah.
Matt McCusker
So much trouble.
Shane
Terr. Trouble. Oh, I should have had kids. I'm gonna die alone. I. Instead, I pissed away my life. No, I actually had a good life. Nice. Yeah. Yeah, it is funny. Like, then I got out of bed, I was like, nice. It was a good start.
Matt McCusker
It is nice trying to run the old program and just being like, such a. I up, stupid piece of. You look around. You're like, what am I gonna do today? That's awesome.
Shane
Go look at a house.
Matt McCusker
Look at this dumb house. Damn it.
Shane
House. It's the coolest house I've ever seen.
Matt McCusker
Natural redwood flooring. Actually kind of sick now.
Shane
I did. Me and Lamar just went and looked at the house. How was it, America? Lamar asked to come with me, who was. Check out the new digs now. He was.
Lamar
He.
Shane
He was checking out the house more than me, I bet. But yeah, it's home inspector I had. I'm like. I walk in, and the lady's trying to tell me how everything works. I'm just like, talk to him. I'm never gonna
Matt McCusker
do. You get gay couple phobia every now and again.
Shane
Yes. The neighbor, dude. The neighbor is the man. What the Neighbor's the man. Fuck that. He came outside shirtless. Yes. Played. But he used to play ball at Texas.
Matt McCusker
What?
Shane
Yeah. He's an older lineman. Came out with his big dog. A dog was with him. That was great.
Matt McCusker
God, that's.
Shane
And he was just like. At the end, he was like, so, who's thinking about moving in here? I was like, me. He's like, where are the women? It's just. Just you and that black guy. Worst nightmare yet. Like, yeah. Blue Lives Matter on his truck. It's just an interracial gay couple being like, this is a fabulous neighborhood. He could be a problem. He was. That was the discussion of the car. That's the type of guy that.
Matt McCusker
Yeah.
Shane
Could eventually mean it. I might have to have a shootout with him and his dog eventually. I think we'll be boys, but.
Matt McCusker
Well, you're thinking boys are enemies.
Shane
I think that guy's down to pull out the blicky.
Matt McCusker
What?
Shane
I think he'll pull it out in one second.
Matt McCusker
Whoa. Anything?
Shane
Probably noise.
Matt McCusker
Yeah. Mary, you'd have to tread lightly around there.
Shane
He was shirtless. Longhorns, trunks, Longhorns visor. He's a legend. He could be a real issue.
Matt McCusker
That's. I mean, that's crazy. Also, what do you think he was, tackle or guard? Because you guys could form the O line. Who are the other neighbors?
Shane
True. Lame. Lamizi's D tackle, though.
Matt McCusker
Yeah.
Shane
He doesn't have the O line build.
Matt McCusker
Damn.
Shane
Doesn't have the length. But you do have a good nose guard. Nate's grown into an offensive guard. Nate went from DB to O line.
Matt McCusker
Nice. Fight at a higher weight class right now. Damn. That's crazy.
Shane
Yeah, he's. He seems like the man.
Matt McCusker
Yeah.
Shane
The. I don't want to be smirched. Yeah, whatever. The lady, the real estate lady was
Matt McCusker
like, I think he, like, drinks.
Shane
I was like, me, too. I was like, I think this guy's gonna be my boy. He's older. He's an older gentleman. He blocked for Earl Campbell.
Matt McCusker
What?
Shane
At Texas. Which is awesome. Yeah. What's the fence giveaway is. This is hardly a fence.
Matt McCusker
Yeah.
Shane
The whole house is. My house is that I would buy. It'd be like, just glass. That guy's gonna watch me and Lemaire naked.
Matt McCusker
Just a different level.
Shane
Two different fat, naked guys.
Matt McCusker
Maybe you guys will catch. I'm sure he's prancing around as well. I think.
Shane
Yeah.
Matt McCusker
Damn.
Shane
I think we might have the most vicious three way of all time. That would end the world. Yeah. That old guy had sex it's like the hadron collider.
Matt McCusker
It would create the God particle. I mean that's of all.
Shane
There'll be a triple heart attack. It could be a simultaneous be like when they find those like rat like rat nests or those call and they all get stuck. A rat. Yeah. Stuck together and dead. All right.
Matt McCusker
God damn. This episode is brought to you by Prize Picks. The regular season's done and the NBA playoffs are here. Time to get in on the action with Prize Picks, a preferred partner of the NBA.
Shane
NBA.
Matt McCusker
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Shane
Perfect neighbor.
Matt McCusker
O line neighbor. Yeah, humble.
Shane
Too humble, man.
Matt McCusker
That's why I always liked about the O line. I was so humble in the O line.
Shane
You have to be humble, dude.
Matt McCusker
Protecting the quarterback. I'd be like, with my life, I'll die for him. Yeah, dude, this is. No one ever celebrates you guys. I'm like, dude, if you keep talking like this, I'm gonna come. I was only like 10. I was only 10, but I was already like, this feels so good.
Shane
It feels good, dude.
Matt McCusker
Be like, dude, nobody even noticed. You're the silent hero. I was like, yeah, I guess you're kind of right, coach.
Shane
Yeah, I've always been kind of the quiet hero.
Matt McCusker
Although, dude, makes sense though. You have like a 37 year old dad. Be like, nobody appreciates you guys. You're like, that's must be the most fulfilling thing. You're working your ass off. No one even notices.
Shane
Yeah, it's nice football coaching.
Matt McCusker
Really must be so sweet.
Shane
I only got to do it one year, but it was awesome.
Matt McCusker
You did?
Shane
Yeah, Got to call plays. It was really fun.
Matt McCusker
Well, you were coordinating.
Shane
I was up in the booth, dude.
Matt McCusker
What were you. What was your style?
Shane
It was. It was early. We were on the read option. We were. It was. We were a little ahead of our time.
Matt McCusker
Yeah.
Shane
Yeah.
Matt McCusker
High school or is that like.
Shane
No, eighth grade read option.
Matt McCusker
Eighth grade.
Shane
Yeah. We had some talented ball players with some guys out there.
Matt McCusker
Yeah.
Shane
Shout out, Dill Pickle. Shout out, Danny J. Shout out Darb. What up? I'm coug what up the coug. Shout out, Jay. What up, boys?
Matt McCusker
I'm still sweating. I ran the option when I played beach football like five months ago, and I. It was beautiful. Faked it. They bought it. I ran, I fumbled. I'm still thinking about that fumble. Could have changed the whole game.
Shane
Where'd you fumble?
Matt McCusker
We were. We were in the red zone or I was like, yeah, I got us into the red zone. Fumbled, and I was just like. It was after I was showing somebody into a girl, which also regret.
Shane
Reminds me of that video game. Fumble. Oh, damn.
Matt McCusker
Now it's real.
Shane
Yeah. Oh, tough, humble. Oh, I got good bird news.
Matt McCusker
What you got?
Shane
I have seen some runs kicking around. They're out in the. They're out behind there.
Matt McCusker
Are they really?
Shane
But a hawk. Two hawks have moved in. Not into the Bud Light box, but just right here.
Matt McCusker
They're hawking.
Shane
There's two hawks. It's very exciting. Yo, some red shouldered hawks.
Matt McCusker
Yeah, I was just about to ask for the id.
Shane
Yeah, Red shoulder dogs, dude. I don't know if they come to Texas, but. Yeah.
Matt McCusker
How'd you I.D. you went off.
Shane
Yeah, but it was pinged in, like, Pennsylvania.
Matt McCusker
Gotcha.
Shane
Yeah. Sent a picture to a friend and they aied it.
Matt McCusker
Your phone. Your phone can do it?
Shane
I could. Yeah, I could have done, but they did it for me. Just sent them a picture of the hawk. I said, check this out.
Matt McCusker
It's more satisfying. Honestly.
Shane
That's. Again, that's most of my day. I was just standing in the pool, just looking at a hawk, going, I gotta send this to my boys, dude.
Matt McCusker
Getting the idea on the hawks now, especially.
Shane
Yo, that owl you had was, bro.
Matt McCusker
Burrowing house endangered species. I had the privilege of being. I was walking around, they were everywhere. And, dude, they. I, I was. I mean, this was a huge moment for me in the daytime. Dude, the burrowing owls are all daytime.
Shane
That's good stuff.
Matt McCusker
I know.
Shane
I think that's good luck.
Matt McCusker
I mean, dude, I. I must be. Well, I could use it right now. I'm down right now, but I could use it down in the dumps.
Shane
All right, Just run the. Just run the Irish morning program. I'm so down on my luck. Things are so terrible.
Matt McCusker
No, I'm chilling. But the owls were. No, I'm perfectly fine. But the owls. The owls were really nice, man. They were really. They were pumping me up.
Shane
It's funny that every episode, the wheels are just flat emotionally. For the last 10 years, we've both just been like, no, I'm actually doing good things. Are good right now. It's been nuts.
Matt McCusker
Totally fine, fully in control. Everything's cool.
Shane
Everything's completely fine.
Matt McCusker
My life's not a giant house of cards. I could collapse.
Shane
Yep.
Matt McCusker
But yeah, the do the owls. I got to. Because I was there. Brittany goes, that's when birds come into play big time, dude.
Shane
You see some birds, you go, it's
Matt McCusker
gonna be all right, dude. There it was. Birds during the day, night time. My dad has a. A fish light. So out near the dock. He's on, like, the bay in Florida. Out near the dock, this green light illuminates, and you just throw chicken into the water. Brom Totteno. I show these guys maybe 25 catfish swarm, and they pop you. They, like, will come up to their, like, whiskers, breach, and then they gobble it up and fly down.
Shane
That's awesome.
Matt McCusker
It's. Dude, I was living by burrow owls, and then obviously lizards were carrying me through this.
Shane
Great.
Matt McCusker
And then it was the catfish at night time, and it was just so. It was so nice. I also id'd. I remembered the. The owls, by the way, Brittany tried to say, oh, they can turn their head 360 degrees. I was like, I think it's 270. Looked it up. It's too 70, bro.
Shane
Holy 270. I mean, that felt good clocking your with a 270. I mean. Oh, you're gonna tell me about else.
Matt McCusker
Yeah, watch this. Yeah. And then I was like, well, they could do they degrees. The head.
Shane
The degrees is incredible. O' Connor saw the hawk when he came over yesterday was like, look at its head. It's moving at about 280. Like, I'm not kidding. Like, the first thing he said was the degrees of the head turn.
Matt McCusker
That's the best thing about becoming an old man. You get to just start just being like. That's a silver birch over there. It's pretty nice. My. My dad is crazy. I'm. I'm getting pretty nasty at the trees. Trees and native flowers. I'm pretty. I'm getting pretty good at. I'm. It's killing me. I want to put some out your front so bad. It's blank.
Shane
What?
Matt McCusker
You have a whole blank.
Shane
Oh, yeah, that.
Matt McCusker
Yeah, that's every. Every week. I'm like, I'm gonna go to depot
Shane
and just load up.
Matt McCusker
Just plant, like, nine different things.
Shane
When I moved here, they did have landscaping out front.
Matt McCusker
Must not be sprinkled. This should just become old man Home Depot talk. They probably don't got it sprinkled out There.
Shane
If I had to guess, there is a sprinkler.
Matt McCusker
Is there a sprinkler system?
Shane
Yeah, it's nice.
Matt McCusker
I'll have to dig that up and see where the lines are.
Shane
Yeah, we're gonna have to check the lines out. This episode is brought to you by Mint Mobile. Sick of giving all your money to big wireless? Mint Mobile has high speed data, unlimited talk and text on the nation's largest 5G network. And it's 15 bucks a month for the first three months. Like your money, Mint Mobile is for you. Shop plans@mintmobile.com Drenched upfront payment of $45 for three month. Three month five gigabyte plan required. Equivalent to 15 per month. New customer offer for the first three months only. Full price plan options available. Taxes and fees extra. See Mint Mobile for details.
Matt McCusker
Well, yeah, dude, Florida was sick though, man. I was just paddleboarding on the bay. It's like my. It was the best.
Shane
That's awesome.
Matt McCusker
Although I got on the paddle board, I left it outside in the sun like a. So I wanted to use it. It was hot. So when I went, I like, went too far. And I was like, I'll be fine. I was like splashing water to cool down, but it was hot on my feet the entire. The entire time. Kind of burnt my feet on it. But it was nice. I got lost too. I got lost a little. I got lost enough to where I like had to really try to find the house while paddle boarding. Yeah, I went out. It's a canal, so it's all like. You go and twists and turns. And I was like, I want to go all the way out to the bay. And then I was like, that's kind of far. And then I just like turned around, came down. I was like, dude, I. For real, I'm lost. Yeah, I saw one tiki hut and I was like, that's my landmark. When I came back, there was nine tiki huts.
Shane
Everyone has a tiki hut.
Matt McCusker
Yeah, so that was cool. I got. I got to feel the feeling of land ho.
Shane
What are you guys whispering?
O'Connor
Oh, he got his spot switched.
Shane
You got a free death. Damn.
Matt McCusker
You think that. You think the spurs have a chance?
Shane
Yeah, I think tonight they have a. A real chance.
Matt McCusker
That would. I actually. I want the.
Shane
I'm pulling for him, trying to get the. Trying to get some tickets to the spurs game tonight.
Matt McCusker
The arena is probably the loudest I've
Shane
ever heard, like a basketball game. When I went to see Sixers vs.
Matt McCusker
Spurs, they were those. Those.
Shane
The lads go crazy. Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Matt McCusker
The lads are going wild.
Shane
I've run into the lads a lot lately.
Matt McCusker
Have you really?
Shane
Yeah, out in public, and they've all been very like, yo, the lads are with you.
Matt McCusker
The lads, dude. The lads.
Shane
Yeah, the lads might be our strongest demo.
Matt McCusker
I. I think they're for real. Very up there.
Shane
They. With the secret police.
Matt McCusker
They do. Did you really?
Shane
You saw a lad in the movie theater? What happened?
O'Connor
I was playing the claw machine, waiting for my movie, and he went, gardini, what's up, man? And he went, oh, that's actually you.
Shane
And I was like, how are you?
O'Connor
I went and saw Obsession.
Shane
Good to see the foos.
O'Connor
Yeah, he was a nice guy.
Shane
The lads and the foos.
Matt McCusker
Yeah. That's nice. I. The lads are stunned. They do tell you. They always tell you swear allegiance, Yo. We with your podcast. Very nice, dude. You have no idea how much that pleases me. It's not. It's. It's a. It's a. It's a. It's a finicky demo, man. Not every. Everyone thinks they can capture the heart of the lad, the hearts of the lads, but it's. They're complex creatures.
Shane
They are.
Matt McCusker
Everyone thinks, oh, I'm gonna get the lads. Every politician is like a Latino vote. It's like, bro, talk to me. Talk. We'll talk about.
Shane
Yeah, we'll tell you how it's done.
Matt McCusker
Yeah, we'll tell you how it's done.
Shane
Yeah, they kill Tony. Had the lads, too. Yeah, for sure. Lads like w.
Matt McCusker
Yeah, they're the Aztecs and Mayans, dude.
Shane
True.
Matt McCusker
They're warriors.
Shane
Exactly.
Matt McCusker
Also, I'm fluffing the lads. They love hearing that. No, the la. They are a very, like. I mean, the memes are the best when, like, the. The red pill, blue pill for the lad has become like a. Like an extreme maga. Trump conservative or just like, a black guy. Red pill, blue pill. They basically. It's like you become like David Duke or.
Shane
Yeah, I'll be excited if we go to San Antonio tonight. Yeah. Yeah. That'll be exciting stuff.
Matt McCusker
That'd be nice.
Shane
I'm gonna be excited to see Jared McCain. I'm gonna go. That's my man.
Matt McCusker
You also got to be careful you don't get grabbed and hugged on like that Mexican president you see when the lady got hugged. You see the lady got hugged on.
Shane
Yeah.
Matt McCusker
The lads might get a groping if you get a barrack.
Shane
If Nate's with me mean, Nate's getting touched.
Matt McCusker
You got to jump in front of it, dude. If a lad comes to Grope him like the Mexican president. I'll take the group. I'll take the guys.
Shane
I'll take the group.
Matt McCusker
What would you throw at him? Throw that ass at him.
Shane
I could only go so far. I can't. I can't say the allegations are bad, dude.
Matt McCusker
Yeah, that slim good. That slim goody sunk you, dude.
Shane
Yeah, Slim good. He got you.
Matt McCusker
I didn't know Brittany was a massive fan of Cheryl Hines or sure Underwood. My bad. I'm thinking of might me but yeah,
Shane
you got Bobby Kennedy on the mind. Got Bobby Kennedy after you grabbed those snakes and they. You see that video again?
Matt McCusker
He already grabbed.
Shane
He loves grabbing snakes.
Matt McCusker
Yeah, it's pretty wild. Yeah, yeah. It's. He did another one because he did one a while back also. Hey, that's how you. That's how you get the lad Vote. Grab a copperhead from behind, lads. You want. Yo, this fool crazy. You got your food crazy. Meter has to stay high. Yeah, I gotta keep my food crazy beater high at all times. Can't let that dip. Then you're lame. It's fool crazy and lame, man. You gotta stay.
Shane
Who you think the craziest fool is in our group? I think Tommy might be the. Or o'. Connor. O' Connor might be the craziest essay. He's loco.
Matt McCusker
I mean him claiming 280 on a hawk. Some crazy food hawks don't have. First of all, hawks don't out turn owls. That's crazy.
Shane
I wish it did have. It did have pretty impressive movement.
Matt McCusker
Did it really?
Shane
Yeah.
Matt McCusker
We got to look that up.
Shane
We need see head movement on a red shouldered hawk. We're gonna need that 270 on now. And I also was like got the team on it. All three. Oh, all three struggling. Two of them already went to Instagram. Oh, 180.
Matt McCusker
I like that. 180 is not bad. I was gonna say it's no 270. There's no way. Huh.
Shane
Wow. What kind of hawk?
Matt McCusker
Just a red shoulder so they can get what's. So they get 180 but they how if they don't move? You said they can get the 270. Yeah.
Shane
Like if they're standing still and they're like you got some good. You might be a little out.
Matt McCusker
You got like 120. Dude. That was crazy.
Shane
Nice move, dude. Don't do that again.
Matt McCusker
I did. The first thing I did when I was claiming 270 was to go outside and go and just see how much I had. Ours is pitiful.
Shane
Lamar. You might Be possessed. That head movement. You like the Exorcist.
Matt McCusker
I hit. I hit an inappropriate. We went to the zoo in Naples. Like, I was outside of Naples. We took my family to the zoo, and there was a tiger cage, and no one could see the tiger. My kids are like, I can't see it. Where is it? I'm like, you know, a trick for seeing tigers, and they're like, what is it? I'll turn for the camera. I went, oh,
Shane
Jesus. We are. We are old men. It's just an old dad racist. At the zoo, nobody left.
Matt McCusker
Just my wife huffed and walked away. Yeah. I was like, that was good. That was good.
Shane
It's a good one.
Matt McCusker
That was a good one.
Shane
I haven't seen that one in 40 years.
Matt McCusker
We know. You never get the opportunity to bust that out. My kids were like, dude, how do you do it?
Shane
I hit them with it.
Matt McCusker
They're like, what? I was like. I was like, just keep going.
Shane
They're doing that. They're breaking that up. They're gonna break that out in school. Obviously, another kid's gonna talk about tigers in school. At their age, tigers is, like, top five conversation pieces.
Matt McCusker
Yeah, it was a fun one. Hopefully I turn far enough of the game.
Shane
I think. I think we can it.
Matt McCusker
We can just blur. We get black box.
Shane
We've already. Dude, the white boys already went dumb, dude. Pandora's box is already open.
Matt McCusker
Pendulum. The pendulum, I mean, needs to chill. Pendulum. Pendulum might be 270. Pendulum might be 270.
Shane
Dude.
Matt McCusker
It was funny because I didn't realize I've been off the Internet, so I didn't realize how massive the roast was until this morning. I saw a super cut of every single person. I'm like, oh, this went, like, around the world. This one everyone was talking about. The goddamn.
Shane
Dr. Umar called me a Neanderthal.
Matt McCusker
What?
Shane
Dr. Umar called me a Neanderthal.
Matt McCusker
Tell him you want to see the fredless Frederick Douglass Marcus Garvey Academy open, and then you'll talk. Ask him about the school.
Shane
Yo, you're gonna get that too.
Matt McCusker
Ask him about the school. I try to get him on. He charges, like, 10,000 bucks to. Come on. We should pay.
Shane
It would be funny. Yeah, he's really funny.
Matt McCusker
I actually. To be Honest, I like Dr. Rumor. Yeah, so do I. I'm not just saying that. I enjoy watching him. I think he's hilarious.
Shane
Yeah.
Matt McCusker
His. When he does the things. When people can call in and send things in is yes.
Shane
When he reads his live chat and he blocks people, it's the best. It's awesome. He has to know it's funny because he reads what they said.
Matt McCusker
He knows. He's got to know. I just, I want to see the school.
Shane
I mean, I think it's funny getting called a Neanderthal.
Matt McCusker
It's hilarious.
Shane
I was, I was all right with it.
Matt McCusker
Yeah. Kind of.
Shane
I don't know if he's trying to be funny, if he's actually upset. I, I apologize to Dr. Umar.
Matt McCusker
I, I, I, I think he's smart. He's a smart guy. I think he knows, he knows what plays.
Shane
Probably edit this out, but I was thinking about purchasing his school and naming it the Robert E. Lee School for white only. Yeah. I'm gonna name it Neanderthal. Robert E. Lee, Ronald Reagan, Richard Nixon Academy.
Matt McCusker
What about school for the Aztec School for the lads?
Shane
Aztec School for the lads would go crazy.
Matt McCusker
That'd be tight.
Shane
I think, making it hold on. The Robert E. Lee, Ronald Reagan, Richard Nixon's school for higher Learning. And then, and then actually dumping a ton of money into it and making it really successful and actually helping the community just as a bit. Dude,
Matt McCusker
that would be a good bit.
Shane
It's a good bit.
Matt McCusker
I want to, I just want to see it open, man. I'm not trying to break the guy's balls. I just, I'm, I want to. I've been here about the school for a while. My God. Yeah.
Shane
What happened with the school?
Matt McCusker
It's just, it's never open. It's been fucking 10 years.
Shane
Open the school.
Matt McCusker
It's got to open the school. I mean, especially before he starts coming at, you know, Neanderthals. He shouldn't be watching the roast. Get the school going.
Shane
True.
Matt McCusker
The hell you doing? Get the fucking school going. That is, it is. I don't know. It's a funny thing. It's a funny thing. Just have the school going to be like, dang, they wiped out my accounts again. You know that happened, right?
Shane
No.
Matt McCusker
Wiped out his account. So he got hacked. Oh, the money. Ready to get the school going. They wiped out his bam account.
Shane
Somebody hacked him and stole his money. And it wasn't him. He didn't spend it. Somebody else did. Son of a. That keeps happening, dude.
Matt McCusker
It. I was like, like, no, I immediately donate it.
Shane
I don't want.
Matt McCusker
He put the cash app up.
Shane
I immediately smoke.
Matt McCusker
I for real, genuinely enjoy him. I think he's fun. His, his, his just like vigilance on the snow bunnies is my favorite. It's my favorite. Someone needs to stay focused, man.
Shane
Oh, yeah, he would.
Matt McCusker
Sorry. Someone
Shane
Also right back at you.
Matt McCusker
True.
Shane
You know, you guys are both. Dr. Umar should be. Dr. Umar should like me, dude. He should hate you guys.
Matt McCusker
What the.
O'Connor
True, true.
Matt McCusker
I was even thinking of my own sins. Damn. Damn.
Shane
I should get him on at the link. Let him just give a talk. Please, please, no comedy. Just give a nice five minute speech on kill whitey and get off stage.
Matt McCusker
I mean, the boo would be.
Shane
Would be awesome. He would Love that bill. 80,000 honkies booing him. He might ascend, dude. He might start floating,
Matt McCusker
might evolve.
Shane
He would evolve.
Matt McCusker
Pokemon out.
Shane
You might just split in half. There could be two, doctor. He could start multiplying. 80,000 white booze.
Matt McCusker
That's how, that's how Al Sharpton lost all that weight.
Shane
Split. He would kill at the link.
Matt McCusker
So far you have sliders, Dr.
Shane
I forgot about the sliders, dude.
Matt McCusker
Sliders in the background while Umar just does his thing. It'll be so nice. He's the prince of Pan Africanism. He is the best. Dude, it is funny when someone's hating on you. It's like, dude, I love you.
Shane
I love him. I love you.
Matt McCusker
There's nothing you could say I love you. I've watched, I feel, have watched so much of his stuff.
Shane
Yeah, when those guys make fun of you, it's very funny.
Matt McCusker
It's awesome. He's real. One of my favorite breakfast club guests.
Shane
Yeah, he's awesome.
Matt McCusker
He's amazing. So I've never.
Shane
I've never really seen him do anything I didn't think was awesome. Every single time I see him, I go, oh, yeah.
Matt McCusker
I have the same thing for the honorable whatchamacallit, Mr. Farrakhan. I. Dude, I love Farrakhan. Sorry. I just, I watch him, I go, he's so funny. Yeah, I've talked about it before. Him on donahue in the 90s was maybe the best TV thing I've ever seen appearance I've ever seen anyone do.
Shane
They just have him with like Nazis.
Matt McCusker
It's. No, it's him and his. No, it's just him ripping and just talking. And he has all of his like Nation of Islam guys standing there like bow tie standing real militant. But he's. These are just 90s. Well, they're just 90s housewives being like, you know, he'll like, lay out his grievances and they'll be like, go back to Africa if you're so upset. It'll be like, no, that's the. I'm talking about. But it wasn't even like, how dare you? He's like, that's exactly. And he just keeps going on. And then he hits this Jewish lady. I didn't know he had a problem with the Jews until I watched that clip. And he. She brought it up. And I just watched him go, I have some stuff for this. And he just goes in. I'm like, damn.
Shane
That's one of his big grievances.
Matt McCusker
Yeah, he's. Yeah, beefing. Beefing with him. But, yeah, he rules. I mean, dude, I. You can't deny talent when you see it. When I see Farrakhan, I go, that's a talented guy. Sorry.
Shane
Of course.
Matt McCusker
Yeah. I separate the art from the artist. I guess the town of guy. Yeah, I like what he does. Sorry.
Shane
Honestly, it's kind of impressive. More black guys are not as racist if we were allowed to just be extremely racist.
Matt McCusker
Yeah, we had our day in the sun.
Shane
Just allowed to be racist.
Matt McCusker
Yeah, completely.
Shane
They do a pretty good job not doing it.
Matt McCusker
It's. It's pretty. It is pretty impressive. Honestly, it's pretty impressive.
Shane
I was thinking to myself, I'd be bow tie, glasses. Immediately be so fun being like, what'd you say, you pink pig? Be awesome.
Matt McCusker
Yeah, that is pretty amazing to not. Yeah. Go into full force. It's pretty amazing. But I think, too. I don't know, maybe it's like, you know, you're kind of like, you know what? Let me, like, put down the sword. If you've been nicked with the sword a couple times, you go, yeah, maybe I won't wield the sword myself as hard. Although I would just come back ten times harder. Yeah, just. It's so funny just knowing you'd be pure bean pies right off the bat. Yeah, people don't talk about the black Muslim enough. I miss them there. I have. I haven't seen a black Muslim in Texas. There are so many in Philly. And they are. Some of the. They're. They're. They're rad.
Shane
Yeah, they're red.
Matt McCusker
Black Muslims are rad. I used to work with this black Muslim guy. He was. I worked with many black Muslims. Not bragging, but the one guy I worked with was for real. One of my favorites. He put me onto this television show. Might have been the worst show. Did you ever see the 100?
Shane
No.
Matt McCusker
Oh, I. I. Dude, he hyped me on the show. I ended up watching two seasons and
Shane
was just like, I remember you watching it.
Matt McCusker
It's. He. He was like, bro, the show. He was talking like, this is gonna. This is it. And I watch it. This dude, the premise Is sick. Then you watch and you're like, this is the gayest show I've ever seen. It's one of those. I've actually. It's seven. It went seven seasons. And I. I do at some point want to watch the finale of the seventh season just to see where they went with it. It'd be kind of fun.
Shane
This episode is brought to you by bluechew. Oh, yeah. Fellas, let me introduce you to bluecho Gold.
Matt McCusker
Yo.
Shane
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Matt McCusker
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Shane
Wanting to is extremely important for sexual intercourse.
Matt McCusker
A million percent, dude. Yeah. And we've got a special deal for our listeners right now. When you buy two months of BlueChew Gold, you get the third free with promo code drenched. You'll also receive an additional 10 off plus free overnight shipping on your first order. Visit bluechew.com for more details and important safety information.
Shane
Oh, yeah. July 17th at the link, please, please come to that. I think we just released a bunch of new tickets, so it's almost sold out.
Matt McCusker
So hurry up, guys. Six, five. That is June 5th. June 6th, I'll be at the Summit City Comedy Club, Fort Wayne, Indiana. But then I'll be in Spokane Comedy Club. 8, 13, 20, 26. 8 14, 20 26. Spokane Comedy Club. And there's a bunch more dates coming. They should be on my website. They're not for some reason. I'm gonna dig into that and update you guys. Go to Matt McCusker dot com. Anything good? Have you watched anything good?
Shane
Yeah, I watched train dreams.
Matt McCusker
Oh, the Dennis Johnson book?
Shane
Yeah, I guess.
Matt McCusker
Yeah, yeah, yeah. In the beginning, they didn't have them throw the Chinese guy off the cliff, did they?
Shane
Yeah, they did.
Matt McCusker
They did, yeah. Okay, because I know they did that in the beginning of the book, but did he help?
Shane
He slightly helps. He grabs his legs and he's kind of saying, like, what do you do? Like, why are you guys doing this? But he still kind of like, grabs his legs.
Matt McCusker
Gotcha.
Shane
But then gets kicked off and then they throw him.
Matt McCusker
Okay. And did the Chinese guy die in the movie? Yeah, because he does in the book. He doesn't. He, like.
Shane
I haven't Finished it yet?
Matt McCusker
Clambers. Oh, my bad. What did they throw him?
Shane
They throw him off a bridge?
Matt McCusker
Yeah, I think he, like, in the book, just like. Like, catches the thing and just kind of, like, clambers away.
Shane
They don't show you. They definitely don't show them surviving. Okay.
Matt McCusker
Yeah. It was. What's funny in the book, because he just is walking home and he's like, what, are they throwing a Chinese guy off a cliff? And they're like, yeah, I'll help. And he just doesn't even then he doesn't. He's like, I was kind of up. I should have done. Yeah. I don't know why I was so eager to help that guy. It's pretty sick. How far. How far into it are you?
Shane
Two thirds.
Matt McCusker
Okay.
Shane
Yeah.
Matt McCusker
Yeah. It gets kind of freaky there towards the end.
Shane
It gets so far. It's pretty sad.
Matt McCusker
Just the saddest.
Shane
I didn't think it was gonna be that sad.
Matt McCusker
No, I had it recommended. I'm like, oh, cool. You know, like, I like the time period. And then, like, right away I was like, oh, yeah.
Shane
It's pretty devastating.
Matt McCusker
They'll find her.
Shane
Yeah. Not in the woods. Nothing good happens in the woods.
Matt McCusker
Yeah, no, that was. That was pretty good. The. You know what was surprising? I re watched recently, and I was. I actually wasn't a fan. It was Wolf of Wall Street, I thought. I loved that movie. And I re. Watched it, and I'm like. The whole first 45 minutes is like. Then I got. Then I got again. They tell you how much drugs we did? Oh, yeah. And I was like, dude, I was watching. I'm like, I used to love this movie. I watched it as a. As an elder man. I was like, this guys are punks. Yeah, they're punks.
Shane
Yeah.
Matt McCusker
It was also, like. It was just. It was just. I. You know, I was watching it with a. With Britney, so I'm kind of like, all right. He's blowing cocaine up her butt with a straw. Sure. She's gonna. Not like, what is this? Yeah, just let it go. It's a good movie. And then it was just 40 straight minutes to be like. And then she sucked my dick. And I was like, jesus, yeah. Christ.
Shane
It's a comedy.
Matt McCusker
Yeah.
Shane
So you watch it as this guy's a. Yeah, true. And it's.
Matt McCusker
I'll tell you what. Then we watch Legend of Bagger Vance.
Shane
Jesus. And it was. It's been years.
Matt McCusker
It was awesome.
Shane
Yeah.
Matt McCusker
She was like, this is much better. And I was like, dude, I'm not gonna lie. This is much better. Not even gonna hate. This is. I mean, I thought the Wolf of Wall street was, like, one of the best. If you had asked me before that, I'm like, yeah, it's one of my favorite movies.
Shane
Yeah.
Matt McCusker
Re. Watch it.
Shane
I was like, I think it was the setting you were in. Yeah, I think that'll affect it for sure. With the babe just going, this movie is kind of me. Yeah, it's kind of. This movie's gonna affect my night because now my wife's gonna be like, is that what you want to do? No, of course not. I would hate that. Just getting a ton of. And doing coke with my friends and being extremely rich. So it sucks. No, I like this.
Matt McCusker
When he was talking about, like, his cousin and, like, what they would do with a retarded kid, he's like, I throw it out in the woods. I was just, like, in the bed being, like. Just looking over and over, like, gets better.
Shane
All right.
Matt McCusker
Could have been set and setting. You're right. Could have been set and setting. But I. I genuinely was like, you know what? This is. This is kind of getting old, man. What the. Bagger Vance was just next level bag events.
Shane
Is Moses.
Matt McCusker
Moses, dude, for real Was. I never saw Bagger Vance. It was amazing. I thought the movie was about Will Smith crushing it at golf.
Shane
No.
Matt McCusker
The whole time I thought Will Smith just crushed it in golf and not the case.
Shane
No. But is he just a caddy? Caddy. Secret caddy.
Matt McCusker
Super spiritual caddy. Yeah, it's all about the field. It was kind of sick, though. Bagger Vance. Two thumbs up. Wolf.
Shane
Wall street dude. No.
Matt McCusker
Didn't like it. It was. It was just. I was like, no, you're right.
Shane
I'm gonna have to give it a re. Watch.
Matt McCusker
It's too much.
Shane
Yeah.
Matt McCusker
Too much. And it's too much of that. Like. I know what you're thinking. Me and my boys are crazy. That was. That was big during. What is it called? Not Fight Club. Entourage. Entourage was big in. And what was the snatch that was that big. Like, this is the craziest thing you'll ever see.
Shane
Yeah. And it'd be like, Scorsese does a lot, though. Yeah, he always does it.
Matt McCusker
Yeah, He's a master. Obviously. I'm not gonna. You know, I just. It was good, fellas.
Shane
Holds up, though.
Matt McCusker
Goodfellas is great.
Shane
It's great every time.
Matt McCusker
Yeah.
Shane
It's always been confused because I. When I lived with Tommy, he would watch it every night. He'd be drunk watching Goodfellas like, yeah, this guy watches every now. I. I understand.
Matt McCusker
Yeah.
Shane
If you're drunk, it's one of the best movies. So good.
Matt McCusker
Just toss it on.
Shane
Yeah.
Matt McCusker
Yeah. No, it was. I. I'm. I'm getting old. I was watching. I'm like, this is crass. This is very crass. Disturbing.
Shane
It's crude.
Matt McCusker
It was crude.
Shane
It's crude.
Matt McCusker
It was very crude.
Shane
There's no two ways about it, Matt.
Matt McCusker
Yeah, then he had. Yeah, you know what? You're totally right. It was just him.
Shane
Jerk of Wall Street.
Matt McCusker
Just him leaving his wife and this chicken. I'm like, that's not good stuff right there.
Shane
Come on.
Matt McCusker
Crap.
Shane
All right. Turn this crap off. I don't even daydream about stuff like that. That's crazy.
Matt McCusker
Put on Bagger Vance. Yeah, I might start watching Bagger Vance.
Shane
Watch the Notebook. That's good that your husband dies. Yeah, that's what you.
Matt McCusker
Let's watch. Let's run Chuck a lot back, but, yeah, I was. I was. I was movied out, dude. I was just crushing movies every night. Million Dollar Baby. That was a sad one.
Shane
I don't think I've ever seen that.
Matt McCusker
MDB is sad, bro. Yeah. And it's funny because I knew. Are you familiar, like, kind of with the plot line?
Shane
Yeah.
Matt McCusker
So I kind of knew what was coming. Brittany had no clue, so she's like, you know, like, oh, she's gonna take over and be the champ. And I was just like, kind of. We'll see.
Shane
Well, that's what happened to me watching Train Dreams. I was like, man, this guy's life is awesome. Let's go to bed. Like, like, what the was that?
Matt McCusker
It's sad as hell.
Shane
That could have been why I woke up with the. With the Irish Good morning.
Matt McCusker
That'll do it.
Shane
Yeah.
Matt McCusker
I. I.
Shane
The Irish good morning. And just, like, look at you, you piece of. Your life's in shambles.
Matt McCusker
Told you. My mom hit me up the other day with just the worst news about people I don't even know. And I was like, thanks. That's. Yeah, every day. Horrible. That's absolutely horrible. I guess this is a little grim. I'm like, yeah, this is. I don't need this right now.
Shane
Yeah, I'll be on a walk.
Matt McCusker
I don't know.
Shane
I don't want to walk. My mom will call and just be like, their kid's not doing good. Oh, my gosh. Who. Who are these people? It's a girl I used to work with, like, in the 90s. Do they live around us? It's like, that they're in Kentucky now. So you're just calling to tell me about a terrible tragedy in Kentucky right now?
Lamar
Like.
Shane
All right, Mom, I'm gonna go. Oh, okay. Oh, all right. Have we talked for too long? Oh, my God.
Matt McCusker
I mean, they gotta offload that because that does get crazy. Getting older and older to win. Like more. I mean, I know, like, I don't know how many people, you know your age range that died. It's been like not a ton, not too many. But yeah, it's. They get to the age where it's like people start dropping and all you can do is party at the beach. Party hard. Just stay tuned to the Fox News. Parrot the.
Shane
Yeah. Dude, we have to bomb Iran. I mean, bro, I think we bombed him again yesterday. You're wrong.
Matt McCusker
I think so. Gotta be done.
Shane
Oh, here we go.
Matt McCusker
Another one.
Shane
There's a Trump fart video that. Dude, there's another fart video has dropped. Send me the link. Send me the link, dude, I'll try to verify this. Cuz these farts are crazy.
Matt McCusker
There was a lot of farts on both sides of the aisle for a while. The fart vids are huge. Sorry, I just farted myself. I mean, doesn't he like crush Mickey D's?
O'Connor
And I saw he just got out of the hospital or something. He did a checkup or whatever.
Matt McCusker
It was all amazing.
O'Connor
Yeah, I'm sure everything was great.
Matt McCusker
Everything was amazing, dude. Sharp as hell.
O'Connor
Best farts.
Shane
He's also 80. In crushing McDonald's. The farts must be chaos, dude. Yeah.
Matt McCusker
Hey, there's got. When you're 80, there's got to be parts of you that are kind of dead already.
Shane
Everything.
Matt McCusker
You're looking Pirates of the Caribbean guy. Is it. Is it real? We gotta get. I gotta get.
Shane
Dude.
Matt McCusker
I have it right here. Damn. It's like an old, like, it's an old. Yeah, Nixon mic.
Shane
I'd like to see it.
Matt McCusker
That'd be crazy if that was. If that was his like secret Nixon recordings or just like, Just non stop farts.
Shane
Oh my God, dude, this.
Matt McCusker
Let me see.
Shane
So fake.
Matt McCusker
I mean, stepping behind the column is respectable, if true. It's so what?
Shane
Here's the thing, dude. The people in front not dying, laughing. It can't be real.
Matt McCusker
They're trained. They're trained. They're trained, dude. They're machines.
Shane
You can't be trained for that.
Matt McCusker
Driven that far.
Shane
No one on earth can survive that.
Matt McCusker
Yeah, yeah, the fart. The political like fart smears are crazy because it's like you have no way of proving if it's true or not.
Shane
Those. Yeah. And that was recorded from a dis.
Matt McCusker
Yeah.
Shane
There's no way if that's real. That's awesome. Yeah, yeah.
Matt McCusker
He's outside. It looked like.
Shane
Yeah. But he was behind the column and I'm saying the acoustics of the old. You want to believe, dude.
Matt McCusker
Yeah. That far. Dude.
Shane
That's a living sniff. That far. He pooped his pants.
Matt McCusker
Ew. Smells Like a 39 count felon.
Shane
Yeah.
Matt McCusker
Yeah. There was a. There was a major AOC was get. Getting levied to farts. AOC apparently had farts. Trump had farts. Biden apparently himself. There was a lot of in himself and farts going around like Covid in their co. Era.
Shane
Yeah. The shoes on the other foot now. And the Republicans don't like it much.
Matt McCusker
True, true.
Shane
See, it's kind of mean when you fake audio. If it's real, then that's incredible.
Matt McCusker
We need to get verified. I mean, how do you. You'd have to call the journalist and they'd have to be like, yeah, I was there. He farted. It was crazy. It's crazy.
Shane
It could be a whistleblower. One of the. One of the Secret Service could be like, dude, that was real. He uncorked one as soon as he got out of the car.
Matt McCusker
I mean, what's the point of being the president if you have to hold in your farts? You know what I'm saying?
Shane
You're.
Matt McCusker
You're the boss and you gotta just hold in your. No, you move behind a pillar gentlemanly. You probably learned that in etiquette school. You find. Find a giant stucco pillar, you just rip. Yeah, I. I was back on the cheese for the vacation. I was. That was nothing.
Shane
You were hitting cheese, bro.
Matt McCusker
I was. I was crushing cheese.
Shane
All Vacay beach farts are crazy, dude.
Matt McCusker
It was. Yeah. Fully sun powered chi and then be watching Bagger Vance and just. I was real. I just was my dad that was in my dad's house just doing exactly what he does is watching movies with a lady and farting and then feeding catfish. It's pretty much all I did.
Shane
All. It was kind of nice where it's at.
Matt McCusker
Yeah, it was. I mean, I can. You can tell I'm sun maxing right now too. I'm completely. I was telling them I'm getting melanated or dying trying this summer.
Shane
That's all you can do.
Matt McCusker
I. I just. That's all.
Shane
I'm gonna die.
Matt McCusker
I am.
Shane
That's what happens to all of our. Our Ancestors.
Matt McCusker
Dude, I got a nice. I mean, I have like a solid.
Shane
That's a crazy tan, dude.
Matt McCusker
Bro, I just been getting. I've just been raw dog in the sun. Just letting it just crush me. It's been kind of. I. Dude, I sleep good. I feel better. Yeah, my nose. No, I'll get sun cancer in 20 years, but that's nothing, bro. You get that the MJ lasers cut it right out. Yeah, my dad got. My dad has skin cancer a couple years ago. They just cut that right up.
Shane
He'll have skin cancer every 10 minutes.
Matt McCusker
Yeah, who cares?
Shane
It's non stop.
Matt McCusker
It's nothing.
Shane
He sun maxed his whole life. It's wild. He's one freckle. At this point, he literally became a black guy. He's Dr. Umar. He all his freckles joined forces.
Matt McCusker
He's got to open the John Elway Fred Doug Flutie Academy.
Shane
John Elway Academy.
Matt McCusker
True.
Shane
Yeah, I should just. Yeah. The Larry Bird. The Larry Bird Academy for higher learning.
Matt McCusker
I feel really bad if he opens it tomorrow. Like, although I feel good.
Shane
Yeah, that'd be great.
Matt McCusker
That'd be great. If our. Our voices. We found power in our voices and
Shane
got them to open up.
Matt McCusker
Be nice. Send my kids there.
Shane
He would not be happy, dude. I wonder how he feels about that.
Matt McCusker
Poorly. He would hate.
Shane
He would hate that.
Matt McCusker
Yeah, he'd be furious. What are you talking about? He would not like it. Although I wonder. I wonder. I wonder if you, you know, if you commit to the bit. I wonder if there's a part of his heart that goes like, I love all children. He has to be like, shut up, dude. You're gonna ruin her whole career. Yeah, Everything we built. You hate them.
Shane
Yeah.
Matt McCusker
Although I mean, I don't. He probably doesn't hate them.
Shane
He probably. Too bad Stern doesn't get down like that anymore. We could have Umar verse. What was that guy's name? Carver. Daniel Carver. The Klansman that he used to bring on Stern. Carver versus Dr. Umar would be a battle.
Matt McCusker
That would be a battle. You could probably still set that up. And honestly, it's like, you know it's a fake. It's a. You let them debate.
Shane
We could do that from now. That could be a little segment you and I do on the show. Dude. Just do racist battlebots. Every week you bring a different type of racist guy. A racist fool would be sick, dude.
Matt McCusker
Oh, they're out there too, bro. They are out there. Yeah. Getting a nice little sending like a racist foo against like, like a U of T gender studies major. Would be so nice.
Shane
Yeah.
Matt McCusker
So it'd be. We'd have to throw in the red flag. It'd be three seconds. Like, you'd be like, all right, come on. Hold on.
Shane
Hey, get him out of here.
Matt McCusker
Hold on. My food.
Shane
My food's going wild. Racist battlebots would be sick.
Matt McCusker
Dude, Be awesome.
Shane
You and me could just not be on camera. Yeah, but you may have two people sit right here and just let them be racist to each other.
Matt McCusker
We get Mystery Science Theater. You just see our heads right in the camera and, like, I'd like to hear you elaborate on that. Actually, he was. Keep going. What do you mean by that? Now's the period of the question response and we'll step in if we need to moderate. You haven't Heaven just. That'd be nice. It'd be nice, too. Just having just like, they almost, you know, the dudes are calling a sports radio. Just letting guys go, dude, like, yo,
Shane
what do you think about people call in?
Matt McCusker
Yeah. Or just come in. Having them come in and be like, yo, the floor is yours. You're a steel worker from Montana battling whoever. You know this guy, some weird guy who believes in aliens. Go rip. It would be like the scrap yard, but for debate. Yeah. Where it's just. I mean, I'm. I'm all scrapyard right now.
Shane
Of course.
Matt McCusker
I'm all street beefs.
Shane
Shout out street beef.
Matt McCusker
Street beefs. Is street beef scrapyard the same thing, or is it similar?
Shane
I think so.
Matt McCusker
Okay, well, they've been getting. I've been seeing a lot of.
Shane
Look it up.
Matt McCusker
Yeah, we need. We need. We need some intel on that, please. We. I've been seeing a lot of like 55 year olds versus 21 year olds. God, it's a really good matchup.
Shane
Oh, boy. What's his name?
Matt McCusker
What's the guy?
Shane
Something like that.
Matt McCusker
What's the guy fighting for his fallen friend? Barn Dog.
Shane
Barn Dog's nice.
Matt McCusker
Barn Dog's real nice.
Shane
Gas station white.
Matt McCusker
Shout out.
Shane
Gas station.
Matt McCusker
Gas station white. Yeah. Barn Dog. The speeches are the best.
Shane
Yeah.
Matt McCusker
So my friend killed himself fighting for him. It's pretty. And you really root for him.
Shane
You sent me that guy.
Matt McCusker
Yeah. How'd you like the guy? He goes, this is just a test.
Shane
That was trouble. Dog said is he found his friend hanging and he had to cut him down.
Matt McCusker
Yeah. That's tough.
Shane
Yeah.
Matt McCusker
Yeah.
Shane
Thanks. Thanks, Lemaire. That involved Paul said it in the mix.
Matt McCusker
Although you can see it is fighting though, man. He's. He like. That's what I thought. I mean, being a 55 year old
O'Connor
scrapyard is like the Pacific Northwest street beefs contingent.
Matt McCusker
Okay.
O'Connor
They're all under the street beefs umbrella. Yeah, but it's not Satan's backyard. It's a different.
Matt McCusker
You ever fantasize about throwing your hat in the ring in a scrap yard? Yeah, I'd be real.
Shane
So scary.
Matt McCusker
Yeah, I think about it, I think about it. I'd have to be very selective about the fight. But it's, I. Every time I watch it, there's a part of me being like, bro, I want to get in the plywood, dude.
Shane
You want to fight? Death Sentence.
Matt McCusker
Who's defense?
Shane
Matt. Matt versus Death Sentence.
Matt McCusker
Who's Death Sentence?
Shane
He's a spindly fella.
Matt McCusker
Is he a knockout artist? He's a jiu jitsu guy.
O'Connor
What's his.
Shane
I feel like he kind of loses a lot. He's an anime black guy who kind of.
Matt McCusker
Oh, I saw him. I saw him.
Shane
Yeah, yeah.
O'Connor
He trains under the tutelage of Demetrius Mighty Mouse Johnson.
Shane
Yeah, but there's another one. There's an anime white that fights C. What's his name? Winged C, Wing C. He's nice. He's from Lancaster. 717s it all in the scrappy street beefs. Excuse me.
Matt McCusker
Yeah, I, I saw that guy, the anime black guy who was like run
Shane
in which again, who's the guy in the suit that acts like a weirdo, that like acts like he's teaching?
O'Connor
I don't know his name, but I know exactly what you're talking about. He acts like he's like in a John Wick movie or something.
Shane
He's pretty good.
Matt McCusker
Yeah, yeah, it's, I mean it's. And every now and again there'll be guys, I think they do a good job putting skill against skill. They don't, they don't really. A couple times they've whiffed a couple times.
Shane
Once a while they feed a guy the lions, dude. Papas is the suit guy. Yeah, it was a black guy. I just watched. He was wearing a suit and it was a good battle. And then in the third round, his shirt was off and I was like, all right, it's time to. Yeah, it's time to lock in. Yeah, now you're in trouble, dude.
Matt McCusker
Scrap yards. I don't know, man. I, I, it might be my preferred arena of watching.
Shane
Dying in the scrap yard would be so awful.
Matt McCusker
Bury me, dude, right in the center ring. It'd be nice even if I got like really hurt. Just bury me right in the center ring.
Shane
Sprained wrist. That's it. I'm done, dude. Bury me at the scrap yard.
Matt McCusker
Oh, I didn't tell you my. Speaking of bury me, dude, my. My brother had. He was in the shower. He's telling me about. It was killing me. He had the. He's in the shower, and he's just, like, soaping himself up, and he felt a little lump on the testes, and he goes, dude, he was just like, that's it. I'm dead. Like, I'm not doing anything. I'm not gonna talk about it. I'm gonna ride this out. It's over, bro. I got the big C. I'm out. And then as he's investigating, he's like, what the. And he found out it was a tick. Oh, my God. That had burrowed.
Shane
Oh, my.
Matt McCusker
Halfway worse. I know, dude. So he had. He had it burrowed in to his nuts. And once he found this out, he was like. He went to his wife and was like, yo, you got to get this thing out of me.
Shane
Oh, my God.
Matt McCusker
So, dude, he goes. He was like, huge. First of all, big mistake. Both. Both me and my dad were like, you got to go to the emergency. You can't have your wife do that, because they don't do. They're going to just pick you right in. Dudes. Well, it's just also, there's. Women don't have a. You know, they don't realize how truly sensitive and like. Like, terrifying that is to get hit in the nuts or like a tick in there, of all things. So, I mean, if it was soaking, if it was, like, sucking come out, you'd be sick. But, like, just all day, like,
Shane
it
Matt McCusker
was on your epididymis. That's a different thing's wrong. But it was. It was just there. So then he was like, you know, obviously, she's pulling it out. No respect for the sack. Just yanking at that thing. And he goes, dude. Like, he's like, I was demoted. Just multiple leagues in her. Because, like, he's like. It ended with, like, I was such a baby about it. I had, like, a towel over my top half of my body. I was like, oh,
Shane
of course.
Matt McCusker
I know. The whole time he was telling me, I'm like, you're so right. And he goes, no, but, dude, like, the whole time, like, he was like, I. I was. I was beyond crying. I was like. And then finally it out.
Shane
This is. I mean, now I want to check my sack. I think this is the second time we've caused the listener to true physically react, including turning his neck as Hard as he could. I think. I think almost everybody listening wanted to go. I wonder how far
Matt McCusker
dude, I. He was telling me the story the whole time. I was going, no.
Shane
And right now, everyone's going, I should definitely check my nuts.
Matt McCusker
You got to check your nuts. Apparently there was. You know, the ticks are big. Apparently Everyone thinks.
Shane
Yeah, they're. They're going wild right now.
Matt McCusker
Everyone thinks it's Bill Gates ticks.
Shane
I think they are Bill Gates.
Matt McCusker
He had a Bill Gates tick.
Shane
Son of a.
Matt McCusker
Hit the Bill gate tick right in the sack. And dude. And he.
Shane
Yeah, he has to go to the hospital. That's.
Matt McCusker
Both me and my dad were like, bro, that's.
Shane
Find out if he has Lyme's disease now.
Matt McCusker
He already conquered Lymes disease. He fasted for two weeks straight. He did a 14 day fast. Conquer life. He didn't eat for 14 days. He claimed it helped him.
Shane
He claimed it helped him. He probably destroyed himself. People don't recover from that limes. No. Like, prisoners of war that are like,
Matt McCusker
no, you can rock, dude. You can do two weeks.
Shane
Yeah.
Matt McCusker
He dry fasted for four days until his vision blur. And he's like, I for real thought I was gonna.
Shane
Yeah, I think that you up.
Matt McCusker
He didn't drink water for four.
Shane
Another fasting community. Obviously, I'm not the one to speak on it.
Matt McCusker
14's crazy. I've done five, and I felt like, all right, this is getting. But apparently what happens is after, like, you know, one day is like, oh, two days. Like, damn, I feel amazing. So he said it would just be up and down. You'd be like, awesome. I think by the end of it, he was genuinely up. You start like, all kinds of crazy out too, because you're. I don't know what's going. When you don't eat. Your body's like, all right, just get rid of all this stuff. He claims he looked into it. That helps with Lyme disease. It could be wrong. Look that up, guys. Let's see. Let's get some information on 14 Day Fast.
Shane
Yeah, I think he's.
Matt McCusker
Because what even is. I don't even know what the it is.
Shane
I think it's a. I think it was a bioweapon.
Matt McCusker
Lyme disease.
Shane
Yeah, could be. I think it was. I think it came from a military island off the. Yeah. Off the coast of Connecticut. Limes. Connecticut. And all the ticks maybe got out.
Matt McCusker
They escaped.
Shane
What the freak started biting all the Yankees up there. Ah. All the Ocon men were getting like, sweet o' con man. We're getting bit going, oh, great.
Matt McCusker
Now I'm tired in the afternoon like a bell's palsy. Let's get the science.
O'Connor
It says. Well, right off the bat, Google AI Gemini says, no, it is not scientifically proven to cure.
Shane
AI Hates fasting, but it may help
O'Connor
reduce overall inflammation and promote cellular repair. So. So yes, it doesn't eradicate the bacteria, but it can help in certain things. And you should also take antibiotics because you could get up from Lyme's disease.
Matt McCusker
Yeah.
O'Connor
Like you can. Your joints, hearts, nervous. Joints, heart, nervous system. They could all get up if you don't treat it.
Matt McCusker
Sack straight to the motherboard. Dude, that was. That was the Randy Quaid.
Shane
Oh, yeah, it was.
Matt McCusker
But he got it pulled off and he. Yeah, he was.
Shane
How long ago did this happen?
Matt McCusker
It was only a couple weeks ago.
Shane
Okay.
Matt McCusker
Yeah, he said a couple weeks, though.
Shane
He's doing all right. It.
Matt McCusker
Yeah. So he's all right. He was. He was benched from the. From the bedroom for a while. He's like, bro, I don't think I'll ever smash again. Saw him at his worst. Yeah, lady, just like your hairy ass wiggling like. Which is what I would. Anyone would do if you were getting yourself.
Shane
I would definitely react to that. I would never show. I would do that myself. How to do that yourself?
Matt McCusker
Oh, the. Pull the tick out yourself.
Shane
You would have to.
Matt McCusker
I don't know if I could, dude. I had the bug bite on my foot. I couldn't get that thing. I tried to dig it out, but I went right to bay. Like, pull this out, please. You can, but not on your sack.
Shane
Yeah, after you take them out. That's at least on your skin.
Matt McCusker
You just gotta suck it up and sit in the ER for five hours and let it. Let a lady or whoever.
Shane
Actually, can we pause for a second? I do have to pee.
Matt McCusker
Let's do it.
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Shane
Okay. I just want to see the mayor bag on the pavement,
Matt McCusker
but, yeah, that was. That was a harrowing tale.
Shane
I watched a little documentary on Mao Zedong.
Matt McCusker
What's he up to?
Shane
He's dead. But he killed a lot of people on the way out.
Matt McCusker
A lot.
Shane
It's important to study communism.
Matt McCusker
Yeah.
Shane
Because all, you know, the youngsters these days, they think it's far out and fly.
Matt McCusker
Yeah, it's really weird.
Shane
It's not usually results in about 50 million people dying.
Matt McCusker
Doesn't work typically. Yeah, it's. No, it's pretty. I mean, that's. You know. Again, I've been making the YouTube debate spear watching that, and that's a big one. Like, how are you even comfortable calling yourself a communist if that many people died? And it's like. Well, it's. Because it sounds nice. You know, it's like, no, we share it.
Shane
Yeah, but it starts with. With the seizure of private property. Exactly. That's crazy.
Matt McCusker
Yeah, it is funny where it's like built on. It's like. It's not really sharing.
Shane
It's built on the government taking everyone's property.
Matt McCusker
What the.
Shane
The government's terrible.
Matt McCusker
Yeah.
Shane
I don't trust them with anything.
Matt McCusker
It'd be horrible.
Shane
Why do people want to give them more power?
Matt McCusker
What the hell?
Shane
Because, Lamar, you love the government. You love the government. We need to pay more taxes. I want to pay more taxes. We need more money. I don't need to pay more taxes. Yeah, you don't. I do.
Matt McCusker
Yeah. I mean, it would be funny to be like. With like Nazism. Be like, well, they didn't really do that. Right. They kind of mess it up. We should run it again. That's a big. That's the big communist thing. They go like, well, yeah, that wasn't. They didn't do it. Right, right.
Shane
It is actually that they're two.
Matt McCusker
What is it? What communism is? What, Two for two? I mean, they have a couple. Yeah, they have two big bad.
Shane
The Soviet Union and China are the
Matt McCusker
two Big bad boys. Yeah, yeah. Not good. Yeah, it was. I mean, it was like, how many, how many did Mal get? Like 20 mil.
Shane
Way more. What? Yeah, in like a three year period. They think it might be. I mean, the, the estimates are no one knows. Anytime something happens in China, they're like, and then 450, 000 billion people died in the yellow revolution.
Matt McCusker
Yeah. Yeah.
Shane
But no, I think it was like the great leap forward and it was like estimated at 45 mil of starvation.
Matt McCusker
God damn. Yeah, and that's, that's how it works. You come into power as the communist leader, then you go, all right, here's the plan. If people are like, I don't know about that. You just murder them. Him.
Shane
Yes.
Matt McCusker
Because you're like, yeah, okay.
Shane
That's kind of this guy's. He's anti revolutionary.
Matt McCusker
Yeah.
Shane
He's against the party. You got to arrest him. And they did a. Like the way it started was they, they got all the kids, they got like the college students. Yeah. And then they were like, encouraging them to be violent towards like older people in the old system.
Matt McCusker
What?
Shane
So they'd like beat up their professors and. Which I've been tough to. Tough to not fall victim to that. I go, wait a second, there's a new president saying I should go punch my teacher in the stomach.
Matt McCusker
Punch this dork in the head. And then I get all this stuff.
Shane
Those kids were definitely getting straight A's though, right before the revolution. Teacher being like, everybody did great again.
Matt McCusker
Yeah, that, that. Well, it's one of those things that like, it is funny. It sounds so nice in theory. Like, yeah, we're all share. It'll be nice. And it's like, but in the meantime, we're going to, we're going to just whoop people's ass and then. No, no one. I don't feel like anyone ever does that.
Shane
Well under it, the people at the top do. Yeah. Every single time. They do really good.
Matt McCusker
That's got to be sweet.
Shane
Yeah. The people pigs move into the man's house and start standing and wearing clothes. All the other animals go, what the.
Matt McCusker
Being the party boss. Well, I've also heard a thing that, like, communism doesn't even work unless it's global. So they were like, that was like the real dream.
Shane
It's Marxist.
Matt McCusker
Yeah. They're like, well, it's got to be global. Cool.
Shane
Yeah.
Matt McCusker
Just a very funny philosophy. Like, yeah, if everybody does it, it'll work. It's like, yeah, it's kind of tricky.
Shane
Yeah, it's crud. I Think it's crud
Matt McCusker
also, it's not even sharing at that point. You know what I mean? It's like, we should share. And you put someone at gunpoint, you're like, give them that. It's like when you do with the kids, you're like, share your toys. You're like, here. Having a billion people doing that is not. You know, it's not really going to work.
Shane
No. They took all their grub, dude. Dude.
Matt McCusker
The grub is. Dude.
Shane
You weren't even allowed to have restaurants. They had to have government sanctioned, like, canteens where everyone had to eat gruel together. Sucks. Blows dick.
Matt McCusker
That sucks so bad. Yes.
Shane
And then they miscalculated how much grain they had.
Matt McCusker
Ah.
Shane
So they're taking all the peasants grub.
Matt McCusker
What?
Shane
Yeah. Then 45 million people starved. Dang crazy.
Matt McCusker
It's massive mistake. Here's the thing. After it happened, do people come out and be like, my bad?
Shane
Or was it just like Mal said, my bad? Did he kind of. They, like. They were like, all right, you're not the leader for a few more years. And then he came back.
O'Connor
What?
Matt McCusker
Yeah. Did he have the sauce or what?
Shane
He did. He did have the sauce. That's the thing about all these leaders. They do have the sauce.
Matt McCusker
That's true.
Shane
So.
Matt McCusker
So how many people died the first time? And then he got to come back again. That's kind of nuts.
Shane
Swear it was 45 million, roughly.
Matt McCusker
I mean, they.
Shane
They have no idea. But I heard a guy saying 80 the other day.
O'Connor
Yeah, Max, 80. There's. They say. But the great leap forward, they estimate 45. But then over the whole time, they say around 80.
Matt McCusker
80, and that's starvation, murder, or, like, just everything.
Shane
Camps or.
Matt McCusker
Camps. Yeah.
Shane
You got to build tractors, dude. We got to get some nice tractors. You're a slave now and you're building tractors because you said you didn't. Like, now.
Matt McCusker
That sucks.
Shane
Yeah.
Matt McCusker
Did that kind of in. You know, it sucks. 90 million people died. Did that step China forward as a power.
Shane
Huge. Oh, it works. Oh, no. Yeah. They're on track to be number one right now.
Matt McCusker
Oh, God.
Shane
Yeah, it works.
Matt McCusker
Oh, man, that's terrible. I hope these computers work. Yeah.
Shane
You're not afraid to. If you're not afraid to kill most of your population, you'll be.
Matt McCusker
You can do one. Yeah. And nobody's been out of shape about it over there, are they?
Shane
Kind of like, if you're better out of shape about it, you and your family get killed. So everyone's pretty chill with it today. I'm sure. Today they're fine.
Matt McCusker
Yeah. Yeah. They're like.
Shane
I think they moved on.
Matt McCusker
Yeah.
Shane
I'm sure some people hold on to some. I'd be upset.
Matt McCusker
Yeah. What year? What year are we talking?
Shane
Like, the 50s.
Matt McCusker
That's pretty great.
Shane
Leap forward was probably end of the 50s, right?
Matt McCusker
Pretty. That's pretty recent.
Shane
Yeah.
Matt McCusker
And so China was, like, pretty poor.
Shane
Yeah.
Matt McCusker
And then this guy's like, I got it.
Shane
They got rocked in World War II.
Matt McCusker
Yeah.
Shane
Yeah.
Matt McCusker
He was basically like, what if we turn people into Legos?
Shane
Yes.
Matt McCusker
And they were just like, jesus Christ, dude. That's so bad.
Shane
Yeah. And then the other government went to Taiwan. That was who we recognized. Right. Like, those are the real leaders of China. And then in the 70s, I think we were like, ah, you guys suck.
Matt McCusker
What?
Shane
It's China.
Matt McCusker
I thought China was.
Shane
China is asshole.
Matt McCusker
But Taiwan. We don't.
Shane
Taiwan was. So the original. The Chinese government escaped during the communist.
Matt McCusker
Yeah.
Shane
And they relocated to Taiwan.
Matt McCusker
Don't we with Taiwan, though?
Shane
Yeah, we still with Taiwan, but then we. We finally recognize communist China is the real China.
Matt McCusker
Got you. We're like, yeah, you guys, let's stop pretending. I mean, it's kind of embarrassing.
Shane
Then they got a nuke, and then they.
Matt McCusker
Dang.
Shane
Mal. Did get it done.
Matt McCusker
I did. I mean, it sucks that, you know. I mean, all those. All. The thing, too, is, once you get to not killing 90 million people, it's almost just absurd.
Shane
Now you sound like Joseph Stalin, dude.
Matt McCusker
Really?
Shane
One death is a tragedy. A million's a statistic, dude.
Matt McCusker
It is, dude. In a million, it's just like something like that.
Shane
I was close with that quote.
Matt McCusker
I think you're. I think you're 100, right? Because if you were telling me, like, he one day, and there was this kid, and he stepped on the kid's head and killed him. Like, monster.
Shane
Yeah.
Matt McCusker
90. You're like, guy was motivated.
Shane
Did he kill now?
Matt McCusker
Yeah. The guy had a plan.
Shane
This guy's nuts.
Matt McCusker
Yeah. That's horrible, man. It's also funny getting kicked out and then being like, yeah, my bad, my bad.
Shane
Like, ah. Yeah. Like, all right, we're gonna. You're gonna be vice chairman for, yeah, five or six years. And then you come back, he's player two, and he had a nasty wife. Dude.
Matt McCusker
Did he.
Shane
Yeah, he married a actress who was like, a loudmouth. Dude. She was a problem. And then.
Matt McCusker
Did he kill her?
Shane
And then when he died, they sentenced her to death.
Matt McCusker
Oh, that's right. I knew she got some sort of death, which kind of.
Shane
They just. They changed it to life in prison. And then she killed herself.
Matt McCusker
What?
Shane
In jail? Yeah. Honoring. Just on honoring the boy, really. He's like, mouse the man, dude, I'm gonna kill myself. Kind of sick, but I think she died in, like, the 90s. Yeah. I did hear it was this recent that we were alive at the same time as his wife.
Matt McCusker
Damn. Yeah.
Shane
91.
Matt McCusker
How did Mal die?
Shane
Damn, dude. She was alive for Notre Dame's last title. That's how long it's been, dude.
Matt McCusker
Got to watch it from the jail's
Shane
wife was like number one. Oh, Ru Holtz.
Matt McCusker
And when did he die? How did Mal die? He hadn't been murdered. Right.
Shane
He died. I forget. Was it cancer? How did he die? Dang. Yeah. And he had a major heart attack in 1976. He looked exactly like my grandpa.
Matt McCusker
Did he really?
Shane
Yeah, my mom saw. My mom saw the family as very Asian features. I might be a descendant of the great mouse. I don't.
Matt McCusker
Dude. Yeah. I've been meaning to look into that guy.
Shane
Might be a descendant.
Matt McCusker
Could be.
Shane
I'm working on the do right now, dude. I might get the Mal do going.
Matt McCusker
He's got the Robotnik.
Shane
I'm gonna have to do the mouse. I do. But, yeah, it turns out he was a jerk. I watched enough of it.
Matt McCusker
It. We always hear he's a jerk, but then it's like. And you always hear he put up
Shane
numbers, but, like, he put up the most. Number one.
Matt McCusker
Crazy.
Shane
Number one. All time.
Matt McCusker
And nobody really, you know, here. He's a bad guy, obviously. But hello. That's true. That's true.
Shane
We're gonna edit that out. All right. We did it. Good episode.
Matt McCusker
Watch new episodes of Matt and Shane Secret podcast on Spotify. Do it.
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This episode finds Matt McCusker and Shane Gillis in classic form, riffing on everything from nostalgia and midlife reflections to run-ins with eccentric neighbors and animal encounters. They spiral through topics like the cultural impact (and disappearance) of Chuck E. Cheese animatronics, the social role of smoke breaks, run-ins with fans ("the lads"), their latest favorite YouTube rabbit holes, and an extended, irreverent exploration of communism and Mao Zedong’s legacy. Throughout, they blend personal anecdotes, irreverent humor, and off-the-cuff philosophizing, all with their signature down-to-earth, self-mocking tone.
Combining irreverent digression with moments of real reflection, Matt and Shane weave a tapestry of jokes, confessions, and observations on modern life, culture, and their own evolution. The episode is rich with callbacks to fan culture, inside jokes about aging, and recurring interests in YouTube fighting leagues, all peppered with raucous humor and welcome moments of self-deprecation.
Fans of the show will appreciate the seamless jumps from absurd hypothetical battles to overly honest takes on existential issues, and the signature blend of sincerity, mockery, and chaotic friendship.
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