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Shane Gillis
Wild, wild west.
Matt McCarthy
Hey. Hey, we're live.
Matt McBride
Matt.
Matt McCarthy
Where is Matt? He's in Santa. He loves San Jose. Didn't he film a special there? All right. Oh, that's it. Gerbies McBride. How are you guys?
Shane Gillis
Wonderful. Fantastic.
Matt McCarthy
Nice.
Steve
Great.
Matt McBride
Yeah.
Matt McCarthy
We just talked about Steve sending his photo ID into porn websites.
Matt McBride
Yeah, we were.
Steve
Yes. So, you know, sort of saying that I would do that because we are in South Carolina.
Matt McCarthy
Yes.
Steve
And apparently you need to do that in order to access pornography. And I would. I was just telling everybody upon first meeting.
Shane Gillis
See, that's. That's what's so crazy is like, I've lived here for 10 years. You can tell that I don't jack off to Internet porn. I had no clue that you had to.
Matt McBride
Yeah, I found out.
Matt McCarthy
I found out in about eight hours.
Shane Gillis
What have you guys done? You got to bring in your own.
Matt McCarthy
You can't.
Shane Gillis
You got to have a closed network for that, you know?
Steve
That's right. Apparently.
Matt McCarthy
But it worked. It worked. It shut me down.
Shane Gillis
You don't. You don't just travel with, like a thumb drive just full of the greatest hits.
Matt McCarthy
Greatest hit. That's what a guy calls it. FBI rage. It's got tape on it, says the greatest hits. Be funny if a guy with CP tried to hide it with like, the way kids did on like, Napster and where it was like, greatest football hits. Homework. That's my homework file. Big hits. Vince Carter, dunk. Anyway, what's going on? Kirby, baby?
Steve
Not much. Not much. Yeah. Thanks so much for having us down here.
Shane Gillis
Oh, come on.
Steve
This is incredible. I was telling Shane and you that this hotel is incredible. There's a kitchen. You can't see it off screen, but what a difference.
Matt McCarthy
Pretty standard. Are you going to use it?
Steve
I've already used it. I grocery shop this morning.
Matt McCarthy
Really?
Steve
Yeah.
Matt McCarthy
Yep.
Shane Gillis
A lot of good grocery stores downtown Charleston. Yeah, Yeah, A lot of good markets.
Matt McCarthy
Where'd you. What'd you get?
Steve
Lactate and, you know, strawberries.
Matt McCarthy
What the fuck did you need a kitchen for?
Steve
Well, because.
Matt McCarthy
Strawberries.
Steve
No, no. So I opened one of this. I was like, going through them, you know, a little like, oh, they got a nutribullet in it. So then I said, you know, let's make a protein shake now. Only complaint about what I need.
Matt McCarthy
Complain.
Steve
Well, no, no, hold on. Not a complaint, but perhaps suggestion this. The guy at his local mart was like, you know, I said, do you have any protein powder? He's like, oh, yeah, right there. And it was espresso protein powder.
Matt McCarthy
Oh, so you jacked Up.
Steve
No, no, I didn't even. I didn't. I said, oh, do you have anything like. Like protein powder without caffeine? He's like, yeah, that. I was like, no, no, no. We just immediately dropped it. So I'll make like a milk and strawberry shake, perhaps find protein later.
Shane Gillis
You will make a protein espresso shake, but you won't have anything to jack off to while you're here.
Matt McCarthy
That's gonna be the.
Shane Gillis
That's gonna be the summation of your trip.
Steve
Well, what I would say is, no, I would definitely show the government my face to masturbation.
Shane Gillis
It does seem. That seems so strange that they.
Steve
Yeah.
Shane Gillis
Need to log you in. They need to know what you're up to.
Steve
I know. I was.
Matt McCarthy
It's a very Republican. That's the Republicans.
Shane Gillis
Is. Is it?
Matt McCarthy
Yeah. You travel a lot. It's South Carolina, Texas.
Shane Gillis
See, a lot of the ladies are really upset with South Carolina because of the crazy abortion bans. But, you know, this jack off thing doesn't really get talked about as.
Matt McCarthy
It's our body. Our choice. It is our body. But, yeah, I think. Didn't your. Yeah. Their boy just got. He died. Isn't he? South Carolina. Lindsay Graham.
Shane Gillis
Lindsay Graham.
Matt McCarthy
Oh, he might have been the guy putting his hands all over a pornhub.
Steve
Interesting.
Matt McCarthy
Now that he's gone, we can.
Shane Gillis
Now you can.
Matt McCarthy
We're free.
Shane Gillis
You can infiltrate.
Matt McCarthy
We can get used.
Shane Gillis
Use your friend's IDs. That's probably the best.
Matt McCarthy
Probably the funniest thing you could possibly do.
Shane Gillis
Yep.
Matt McCarthy
Take a picture of your friend's ID and jack off to Wild. What's that?
Shane Gillis
Matt's joke is that he uses his wife's id.
Matt McCarthy
That's awesome.
Shane Gillis
So what is this something you guys are on the road a lot. Is this something you encounter in a lot of states or is this.
Matt McCarthy
Yeah, it's like literally just. And then it's all. It's funny because you don't remember and you, like, when you go to log in, you're like, come on. I wonder how fucking conservative this state is. You go, fuck, no, we know.
Steve
Now, is it just the major porn
Matt McCarthy
sites or is it like, I only know really one? And then when I moved to Texas, I had to learn another one.
Steve
Yeah.
Matt McCarthy
And the other one is disgusting.
Matt McBride
I know.
Matt McCarthy
And it keeps me off.
Steve
I don't.
Matt McCarthy
I don't.
Steve
Because there. Well, so this is what I was telling you guys.
Matt McCarthy
What's the other 1x videos.
Steve
Yes, the one. What I was saying is I do feel a little free now because I Don't even go incognito. I just say whatever the algorithm sees that I'm liking. Give me more of it.
Matt McCarthy
You want.
Shane Gillis
You want the suggestions? Yeah, dude, yeah.
Matt McCarthy
Yeah.
Steve
And it keeps off. It keeps off what you're describing because X videos will be like, what about a couple guys?
Shane Gillis
And now when you get a suggestion for one and it works, you're like, oh, good. That. That was right up my alley. Do you feel like. Do you feel you need to thank the service?
Matt McCarthy
He does. He does.
Shane Gillis
They know me. Great. Thank you. That was a great wreck.
Matt McCarthy
No, he does. He's like that. I tip the stars. Oh, I will. Well, sure. What do you describe them as? It's like actresses or adult stars. You said the word.
Steve
I don't know. I probably said porn stars. Adult. Adult. Whatever the nomenclature is. Hold on a second. I don't like the service.
Matt McCarthy
Let me say.
Steve
Can I clear that up?
Matt McCarthy
Let me say this real quick. But it just reminds me of a time I remember my high school football coach came to my house or my friend's house.
Steve
Yeah, girl.
Matt McCarthy
We were watching. What?
Steve
All right. High school football.
Matt McBride
Go.
Matt McCarthy
You know, I'm just saying, when somebody. When somebody calls a porn star like a entertainer.
Steve
Okay.
Matt McCarthy
I just remember my football coach, my buddy was watching wrestling and was like, what do you think? Stone Cold Steve Austin. He was like, he's an incredible entertainer. And I was like, damn, this guy's dumb as no superstar. He said superstar? Because that's what they called the wrestlers. They were like, he's one of the top superstars. I was like, oh, he's five and five. This guy's a idiot. Anyway, so you were clearing up the air on your. Don't you. You subscribe to some sites?
Steve
Oh, I do. No, it's all right. I got no shame about it.
Shane Gillis
I do.
Steve
But I think it could be Mr.
Matt McCarthy
You should have immense shame.
Steve
Gene, I can't help what I like. And I'm not gonna. You know, it's like, I'm not gonna pirate. Even though. Even though I do feel, you know, pay the people. Yeah, but I'm just paying a guy, which also, you know, it's like, how much is he really?
Shane Gillis
He's a guy who knows your proclivities, though. He knows what you like.
Matt McCarthy
He's serving you.
Steve
I know, but what's paying the. Is he paying the actresses?
Matt McCarthy
I don't know if you're interested in this, but you should probably tell him the proclivity.
Steve
Should I?
Shane Gillis
What is it?
Steve
Well, it's Glory Hole, but hold on. Let me clear this up. Okay. All right. Yeah.
Shane Gillis
There's a Glory hole website. Oh, where's the coverage from? Is it on? Is it on? Which side of the wal.
Steve
Such a wonderful question. I'm so glad you asked, because the coverage is the key now. You want a critique? What?
Matt McCarthy
You're crazy.
Steve
All right, well, then I don't have to do.
Matt McCarthy
No, I'd like to hear. But I do like the idea of the camera being a GoPro on the guy's head.
Shane Gillis
No, there's just against a wall, like
Matt McCarthy
the autistic kid that loves trains, where it's like that. You know what I'm talking about? That British kid. Yeah, yeah. Fisheye lens, GoPro on top of his head.
Steve
This particular site in the past, I think it's. I think it's past its glory days, if you will, but edit that out.
Matt McCarthy
Just.
Steve
I'm kidding. It was just such a bad joke. But there is like an auxiliary sex room.
Shane Gillis
Okay.
Steve
So. So, you know, if. If, you know, I don't. I don't know how the discussion is offered, but if that's. Then they could go and they have sex in different room.
Matt McBride
I find it.
Steve
I find. I don't know why my brain likes that. I think it's. And I, you know, I get.
Shane Gillis
I get the idea of it in person. The. The actual. The physical element, the watching of it. How do you. I'm curious of how it translates to a video that you watch. So are you. Is it like pov. Are you the guy walking into the room?
Steve
No.
Shane Gillis
No.
Steve
So it's more of.
Shane Gillis
It's like someone being forced to be at the receiving end of the glory hole. Is that the.
Steve
Sorry.
Shane Gillis
Someone being forced to be at the receiving end of the glory hole. Is that like. Is it what. What happens in the videos?
Steve
So there you're effectively in a booth, okay. And she is the center stage. Right and left are separate holes.
Shane Gillis
Okay.
Steve
Then you're watching this go down a blow job. You know, either direction, sex. And then somebody will. I don't know how, but they'll say, do you. I guess I do know how they would say, want to go? Or whatever. And then they will go into a separate room where it is more of a watch. We edit this out.
Shane Gillis
So it evolves. Got you. It's not just in the hole. It's.
Steve
It evolves.
Shane Gillis
It's a story that's just the launch point.
Steve
Yes.
Shane Gillis
Okay. Got it. Got it.
Steve
Yes. And I think it dovetails into this other. Well, and I've talked to about, you know, that sort of, like, tease.
Shane Gillis
I like that you found a website that specialized. In the end. This is the. This is the. The movements that we.
Steve
I think, though that may be a little cart before the horse. I. It was. I saw it at one point, and then I said, ooh.
Shane Gillis
And you're like, I want more of these. Is there anyone who specializes in making this kind of content?
Steve
Yeah.
Matt McCarthy
And then you have your favorite starlets.
Steve
I have. I have the greatest superstars.
Matt McCarthy
The divas.
Steve
Not.
Matt McCarthy
You have the greatest hits. Divas?
Steve
Yeah. Who for that site? No.
Matt McCarthy
I thought you told me you had some favorite divas.
Steve
I have some, like, favorite. You know.
Matt McCarthy
This is great. This is a good promo for tires three.
Steve
Yes.
Matt McCarthy
Season three. Anyway, I've embarrassed myself enough. Danny McBride talked about glory holes.
Steve
Do you feel really bad that I'm talking to you about glory?
Shane Gillis
Hol, you shouldn't. I'm really. I've been enlightened by this. I'm understanding new things. I like it.
Matt McBride
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Matt McCarthy
I was hoping it was.
Matt McBride
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Matt McCarthy
Yep.
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Matt McCarthy
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Matt McCarthy
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Matt McBride
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Matt McCarthy
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Matt McBride
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Shane Gillis
So, yeah, what else you got?
Matt McCarthy
Yeah, I threw Steve on the ground the other day. We took a. Took a jet down here and I was sitting and he was getting up to go to the bathroom and he stood over me.
Matt McBride
Oh.
Matt McCarthy
And I was like, steve, I swear to God, I'll. Without getting up, I'll throw you on the ground. And he was like, I'd like to see you try. And then I threw him on the ground without getting up. It was very fun.
Shane Gillis
Yeah, that's like a. That's a rock star story. You're on a private jet and you threw a buddy on the ground.
Matt McCarthy
Yeah. And then.
Matt McBride
Yeah.
Matt McCarthy
And then he went out today and looked for some protein. He's got a bulk up.
Shane Gillis
I got a bulk up. I can't be tossed around that easily.
Steve
Well, in all fairness, he was wearing sunglasses and expensive wristwatch, so I didn't want to, you know, damage any of.
Shane Gillis
That's a good friend. That is.
Steve
That's good to think about. So I took it. Took it easy on the kid and, you know, maybe. Maybe we'll see next time. It was pretty humiliating because I. It was one of those ones where I don't know how I was suddenly on the ground.
Matt McCarthy
Well, I think it was the drugs you took and the. How up. You were worse. I'm giving you credit on that.
Steve
Yeah. I took half a Pam and then I asked for a vodka rocks, and she gave me like a vodka with like an ice cube.
Matt McCarthy
Perfect.
Shane Gillis
Yeah.
Steve
And, boy, was that a wonderful.
Matt McCarthy
He's afraid. He's afraid to fly. So he gets.
Shane Gillis
So you got to get a little loose.
Steve
Yeah.
Shane Gillis
Yeah.
Matt McCarthy
You were fun. You usually aren't that fun.
Steve
Yeah.
Matt McCarthy
Because you were having a good time and you were not afraid at all. That was great.
Steve
I'll tell you. That was. That was a. I mean, getting. Because we sat on the tarmac for like 30 minutes.
Matt McCarthy
Yeah.
Steve
least. And you just. And then a little recline and say,
Shane Gillis
well, whatever happens, it's a pretty sweet way to travel.
Matt McCarthy
Yeah.
Steve
Oh, my goodness. Yeah.
Matt McCarthy
Yeah.
Shane Gillis
And every time you take one of those, you're just like, am I being a total. This is like what somebody makes in an entire year. And I'm just doing this to drive to go 45 minutes somewhere and get thrown in the ground. Yeah. It's the hardest thing to justify. It's polluting the environment. It's great. It's everything about it. Right. It's like the glory holes.
Steve
It's just.
Shane Gillis
It's stimulating in every aspect.
Steve
I would say if they don't leave to go to the auxiliary room, I don't find the glory hole as auxiliary.
Shane Gillis
It's just got to be the launch pad. Yep.
Steve
Right.
Matt McCarthy
Have you.
Shane Gillis
Maybe this is getting too deep.
Matt McCarthy
Have you Can I jump?
Shane Gillis
Have you done this?
Steve
What?
Shane Gillis
Have you done a glory hole. For real?
Steve
That's what I was going to say. Absolutely not.
Shane Gillis
No, no.
Steve
And not. Not there's anything wrong with it if you. If glory holds it. It's not something I would ever want to do.
Matt McCarthy
You would do that? In a heartbeat.
Steve
You are wrong. You are wrong. Would I lie about that?
Matt McCarthy
No.
Steve
You think I would.
Matt McCarthy
But now you wouldn't lie.
Steve
Yeah.
Matt McCarthy
But you're telling me there's a little carve out in this wall right here?
Steve
Absolutely not. Absolutely not.
Matt McBride
That's not my.
Matt McCarthy
Tonight, though, when you get back, you
Steve
go, a carve out in a wall.
Shane Gillis
You were about to say it's not my thing. After just telling us you like and subscribe to a service that is very much. It's definitely.
Steve
It's definitely my thing to, like, watch, but I. I truly don't. Do you have anything that you watch you don't want to do?
Matt McCarthy
Not really.
Steve
Yeah.
Matt McCarthy
I mean, yeah, obviously.
Steve
Yeah.
Matt McCarthy
Yeah, of course.
Shane Gillis
Pro wrestling.
Matt McCarthy
Pro wrestling. Watch it.
Shane Gillis
I'm trying to do it.
Matt McCarthy
I'm not doing it. Yeah. The war in Ukraine.
Shane Gillis
Yeah. I love to watch those drum watches, but I'm not trying to be in there. Yeah,
Matt McCarthy
but I've never liked and subscribed like that. Well, you know, you don't want to hunt milfs in a van.
Steve
Mil Funner. That was a great one.
Matt McCarthy
That was a classic. That was. That was the first one, dude.
Steve
Yeah.
Matt McCarthy
Did you like and subscribe to that? I. Did you ever have a subscription?
Steve
Of course. I had subscriptions in the past.
Matt McCarthy
Really?
Steve
Yeah.
Matt McCarthy
Which ones?
Steve
Well, let's see.
Matt McCarthy
Did you and your dad share one?
Steve
No, my. Me. My dad did not share. Why would you.
Matt McCarthy
Yeah, son. I got a browser's password.
Steve
You know, that's not how my dad talks.
Matt McCarthy
Oh, my God. I got it. We've got to be frugal.
Matt McBride
I know.
Matt McCarthy
You're going to be masturbating. We might as well share it. Your mother and I are sharing a brazes.
Steve
Oh.
Matt McCarthy
Well, this is podcast beautiful in a
Shane Gillis
hotel room in Charleston.
Matt McCarthy
Yeah. You excited for the big premiere tonight?
Steve
Absolutely. I mean, this season I'm, you know, biased, but I think it's our best.
Matt McCarthy
Yeah, I think it's good.
Steve
John McGeever did such an amazing job with it and. Yeah, you are incredible. I've already said that to you and everybody else, so I'm excited for everybody to see it and. Yeah.
Shane Gillis
Beautiful.
Matt McCarthy
Beautiful. That's better than me. I did Fallon yesterday and they're like, could you describe tires to the people who haven't seen it.
Shane Gillis
And I was like, hard, too.
Matt McCarthy
It's like workplace comedy with my friends. Like, okay, let's see a clip. And I knew they were going to ask that, and I still couldn't.
Shane Gillis
He's such a nice guy. But I gotta. The late night shows, I feel like, are the. They're the worst thing.
Matt McCarthy
I'll never do the anything.
Shane Gillis
I hate doing them.
Matt McCarthy
Yeah.
Shane Gillis
I would rather come and talk and run my mouth for an hour than have to, like, package something in, like, three minutes that feels spontaneous. That's not spontaneous.
Matt McCarthy
Yeah. The phone call before, like, the day before, where they're like, what do you want to talk about? This is.
Shane Gillis
And then don't you start feeling really weird about your life. Like, I got nothing to talk about. There's not anything funny that's happened to me that I can wrap up in 45 seconds.
Matt McCarthy
And then they come into your green room before and they're like, here's basically, like, a script. Like, here's the questions. Do you want to see what your response was on the phone? And you're like, I can't memorize this because then I'm gonna. And then I kind of memorized it. So he was stand up. And I was like, yeah, at the Harrisburg Comedy Zone. And it was. And then truckers would show up and use racial slurs. And they're like, all right, we're gonna cut that. They did cut that.
Shane Gillis
That was pretty funny. There's also. It's fun when you do one of those. I've done it a few times where you. They lob you the question, and you know what you're supposed to say back. And then you just go in a totally different direction. You watch the look on their eyes. You're like, no, no, this isn't it. This isn't what we were supposed to do. I. I always would get really nervous doing those shows. Just like, I think the first time I did Conan, I couldn't even eat for, like, two days. Before, I was just so apprehensive about it. I also had never done press before. It was for Footfish way. But then I had one of the worst things happen on one of the shows. And after that, I was like, oh, this is fine. I was on Kimmel, and I was, like, doing the. We were in the middle of doing the interview, and then all of a sudden, something that I'd never seen happen before, the stage manager came on the speaker and said, hey, we have to cut. Danny's mic is, like, not working. And then they had to, like, stop it in the front of the whole audience, come in there, redo the mic. And then you had to. They had to go back and reset the question and start over again. And it was like, well, that's about the worst that could happen. They literally tell you to stop in the middle of it.
Matt McCarthy
I try to bring Steve with me. I can just constantly be like, I can tell him about jacking off. I'll be like, well, I will.
Shane Gillis
Jimmy Fowler would probably love that.
Matt McCarthy
You should be like, oh, okay, guys. No, it's very uncomfortable. And there's. I don't.
Shane Gillis
Yeah, some people are amazing at it,
Matt McCarthy
but I'm so bad at it.
Shane Gillis
Yeah, me too. I don't feel like I'm good at it at all. I just, like, let me watch the
Matt McCarthy
next person go on. Yeah. And they're like, the lady followed me last night. She was excellent. Yeah, she, like, walked out like, hey, everybody, you were.
Steve
Jimmy. It's so good to see huge laughs.
Matt McCarthy
Also, the other thing is, they don't tell the crowd who's gonna be on. Oh, so.
Shane Gillis
So there's a thing like, oh, it's these guys.
Matt McCarthy
They go, who the Is that guy? I could see it because they.
Steve
The.
Matt McCarthy
The main guest, I think that they all knew about was a guy named Role Model. He was a singer. And it's. So the crowd. They cut to the crowd. Before I went out there, I was in the green room and saw it, and I was like, oh, it's all. It was just, like, girls in their 20s. I was like, this is going to be. They knew who you were. I don't think so.
Shane Gillis
Yeah, they did.
Steve
They do.
Shane Gillis
They were intimidated.
Matt McCarthy
Yeah. They're probably by my fidgeting. Like, man, this guy's so confident.
Shane Gillis
I. I saw it. I didn't real. You know what? I didn't realize. I didn't realize that you went to Elon College. I didn't realize you went there. You know, I went to school and went to Salem, which was not far from Elon Musk. It was an art school. So whenever we wanted to have, like, more of a normal college experience, we would go to Elon and go party with some of my friends there. We'd go to a place called the Lighthouse. Yeah, that's still there.
Matt McCarthy
Yeah, I don't know if it's still there. It was there.
Shane Gillis
And I threw up on someone in the Lighthouse one time by accident.
Matt McCarthy
That's awesome.
Shane Gillis
I. I got hammered there, and I felt that I had gone too far, so I was, like, trying to get back to the bathroom. Felt I put my hair in my mouth and through my hand and sprayed on a guy and a big dude. And I'm just like, oh, God. And he looks at me, and he's
Steve
like, you puked on me.
Shane Gillis
And I was like, I'm so sorry. And then he just said, give me five bucks. I was like, all right. Gave him five bucks.
Matt McCarthy
He didn't beat my ass.
Shane Gillis
I felt like it was a fair trade. You're like, all right, I puked this dude. And I guess five bucks makes it okay. It's fine.
Matt McCarthy
Yeah, perfect.
Shane Gillis
He could have gone for 20. I would have probably paid him 20.
Matt McCarthy
Yeah.
Shane Gillis
Five bucks is probably just enough to cover his next Bud Light. That's probably what it was.
Steve
Yeah.
Matt McCarthy
What would have been the limit on that?
Shane Gillis
You know, if he would have asked for much more than five bucks, I probably wouldn't have been able to pay up. I didn't.
Matt McCarthy
I wasn't killed. Elon was. Fun garbage. Where'd you go? You went to Drexel, right?
Steve
Well, I went to George Washington talking about this. Failed out, then Delco, then failed out,
Shane Gillis
then both you guys failed out of school.
Steve
Yeah, multiple times.
Shane Gillis
Very sick.
Matt McCarthy
Not the brightest. Not. Not the brightest group.
Shane Gillis
Look at you now.
Steve
Yeah. Hang it on. Did you just, like, personal. So, wait, like, did you know that you wanted to do this kind of stuff from a young age or.
Shane Gillis
I did know. I wanted to, like, make movies. I didn't know if I was going to be. Be in them. That kind of just happened after school. But, yeah, I always did want to make movies. I did with my buddies at home. I was a little fucking Dawson's Creek running around making movies all the time, but. And then I went to film school, which I don't think I would have been able to cut. Go. I would have failed out if I went to a regular school. I needed to go to, like, an art school. I was done with homework. I wanted to just do fun shit. So, yeah, I went to North Carolina School of the Arts, Went to film school there, and that's where I met all the guys that I still work with now.
Matt McBride
Yeah.
Shane Gillis
So I was. I was lucky. I mean, now my son's getting ready to go into high school. I feel sorry for people who don't know what they want to do because, like, what an incredible waste of time to have to, like, go to college and figure it out.
Steve
That was. Yeah, that was my experience.
Matt McCarthy
We were like, what am I doing?
Shane Gillis
Yeah, Kaching, Kaching.
Steve
All the money's going out the fucking door.
Matt McCarthy
Didn't you. Did you write tires at Drexel?
Steve
Yeah. Yep. So that was like my senior project. It's surreal that it was like 20 going about 20 years ago.
Shane Gillis
That's awesome. I didn't know that. That's great.
Steve
Yeah.
Shane Gillis
So you just had that in your back pocket just waiting for Shane to blow up. So you get that thing made.
Steve
Ye. Because then we had made it going on about 10 years ago.
Matt McCarthy
Yeah.
Steve
That we just filmed that short and it just sat and it's surreal. Yeah, it's utterly surreal.
Shane Gillis
So you guys were both of you all trying to make stuff when you guys were. Were young men?
Steve
Definitely.
Matt McBride
Yeah.
Matt McCarthy
But I was making like. Yeah, we were filming sketches. Yeah, I remember that. The worst one that if anybody finds. I was in like eighth grade. It was. It was right after 911 and I used to do a George Bush impression.
Shane Gillis
Just.
Matt McCarthy
It was copying Will Ferrell.
Steve
Yeah.
Matt McCarthy
From snl. And I remember it's like the craziest video on earth and maybe edit this out. But I was, I was holding up the USA Today that had the towers on it. And I was like, oh, I'm burning.
Shane Gillis
How old were you then?
Matt McCarthy
I was in eighth grade.
Shane Gillis
Yeah.
Steve
Come on.
Shane Gillis
That's how you got to make jokes about that stuff.
Matt McCarthy
And then I was doing like a George Bush impression, talking about it like we're going to hunt down the terrace. And then.
Shane Gillis
Yeah, if somebody finds that tape, I think that's advanced.
Steve
Dude.
Shane Gillis
I think that's good. I think it's good. 8th grade.
Matt McCarthy
8th grade. Mocking 911.
Shane Gillis
Yeah.
Matt McCarthy
Literally like the week after.
Steve
Yeah.
Matt McCarthy
It's crazy.
Shane Gillis
That's. That's what you do when you're a
Matt McCarthy
kid, you know, Jackass hit us. Then Jackass came out. So then that's. We. We shifted from comedy.
Shane Gillis
You start stapling your nuts to things.
Matt McCarthy
We were all. We were all. Also so we wouldn't do anything. Like, it'd be like jumping off like an eight foot shed. You'd like land on your feet like no one got hurt.
Shane Gillis
I'm Shane Gillis and I'm jumping off this stair.
Matt McCarthy
Tiny shed. Oh, that was gnarly. Yeah, Jackass was big for us.
Shane Gillis
I love Jackass. Like, I, I really do think it's like one of the greatest shows that has ever been made.
Matt McCarthy
When I went to. I was in Spain for a while and that like people love Jackass. Like, that was the one comedy that translated to Spanish. Like I remember seeing people with like Jackass T shirts on the subway and I was like, very proud oh, it's so like, America rules, dude.
Steve
Hell, yeah.
Matt McCarthy
That Jackass. Yeah, the whole world gets to see that.
Shane Gillis
Those movies are the funniest too. Like, I always love them. I remember that one. It wasn't the last one. One before that came out, it was. You think about the glory holes?
Steve
No, I just. I thought of the. One of the first sketch. I'll tell you a second.
Shane Gillis
Yeah, that. That one that came out during COVID I think my. My. My son was like. Maybe he was like, what is he now? He's. He's 14 now, so Kobe, he would have been like, yeah, he would have been, like, 8 years old. I was like, we gotta get back to normal now. Like, now the movies are, like, starting to open up. Like, let's go fucking see Jackass together. So I took him at 8 years old to go see Jackass as a way to get out of COVID and I was like, damn, there's more dicks in this one than a lot of dicks. And I just keep there, like, this is great, right? Funny, right?
Matt McCarthy
Dude, you know, I just went to see the new Jackass and I forgot that I cry at the end of every Jackass. Oh, it's the most embarrassing. Yeah. There's always, like, an emotional montage at the end of everything.
Shane Gillis
And they all. They all look like they're having so much fun that I. I understand that. They're just like, I like this group. I like these guys.
Matt McCarthy
Knoxville cries at the end of it. They're like, is this the last one? And he's like, I think, yeah, when. When Ryan Dunn died. And they do that whole thing about him. It's like, yeah, I went with a girl to see it and I cried at the end of Jackass, like, two weeks ago. It's emotional.
Steve
Yeah.
Matt McCarthy
I gotta stop crying.
Steve
I still. I tell the story. I know we've talked about on the podcast, but you watching 5050 on a first date and getting hit. There's this scene where it. It got us both. We didn't even know each other, but Joseph Gordon Levitt, incredible performance, and he's on a first date.
Matt McCarthy
I took a girl on a date to see that, and I think it was going to be like, more of a comedy. And at the. Like, I had my arm around her, and this is very early, like, for real first date. And I was trying to hold in crying, like, as hard as I could. And then, like, my body was like. And then he's like. He says like, goodbye to his mom before he gets surgery.
Steve
Well, yeah, it's it's more than that because he's asking the anesthesiologist questions about what's going to happen during the surgery, and he's trying to ask questions, and then he just goes, mom. And he just wants to hold her hand.
Shane Gillis
And you're about to start crying now, even though.
Steve
Well, that's from laughing.
Shane Gillis
Yeah.
Steve
Yeah, that's a laugh cry.
Matt McCarthy
You cry talking about it.
Steve
No, I don't. I tried talking about that dumb reel that you made me feel stupid about, bro. Yeah, I'm an idiot.
Matt McCarthy
This is. This is how he's like an actual like you. Steve, like, is very good at talking and like, he seemed like he dresses like he's a smart person and then.
Steve
Thank you for saying I'm good at talking.
Matt McCarthy
Yeah, you are. That you trick everyone into. I'm like, I met you. I was like, God damn, this guy's smart as. And then he sent me a video of crying, showing me a video of a bunch of guys on horses riding next to a school bus that's on its way to a football game. It's like their dads had flags. Yeah.
Steve
American flags.
Shane Gillis
I like it. You're here, human being. That's good. You should.
Steve
Yeah.
Shane Gillis
Let things.
Steve
Yeah.
Matt McCarthy
He show. He's like, check this out. You're going to love this. It's also. How do you not know me well enough?
Steve
Cuz they were. It was dad's, right.
Matt McCarthy
I still don't believe dad's riding horses next to their kids football team's bus. He's so. Look at me.
Shane Gillis
It was the effort they put in.
Matt McCarthy
It was.
Shane Gillis
They put in some effort.
Matt McCarthy
They did. Yeah. Do you think my dad. Would I be if I looked out of my high school football team's bus and saw my dad riding a horse? Like, go get him, son. I'd be like, dude,
Shane Gillis
Who. Which of those dads had that idea? Like, all right, let's get the horses. We're gonna follow the bus.
Steve
They got big American flags.
Shane Gillis
They should have. They should have had guns. They should have six guns. Solution their ass. Yep.
Steve
Yeah.
Matt McCarthy
It's very embarrassing. I bet that team lost by 50, dude. To a bunch of kids without dads. They got the score run up, dude.
Shane Gillis
Their dads were. Their dads were all on motorcycles. They 12 going 12 o', clock, burning home.
Matt McCarthy
Steve is like, check this out. It's amazing. It's like, dude, you are a. You have a 12 IQ, dude.
Steve
It's really humiliating when you're sharing something with somebody.
Matt McCarthy
Yeah.
Steve
I think they're gonna like. And then they. They call you gay and dumb.
Shane Gillis
I get. I do. I get tripped up over weird stuff. Like there's a Publix. Is the grocery store here? They always have these like 45 second just stingers that just like go, it's a grocery store. And they're like, why are they trying to make me cry? I' I go there to buy chicken and subs. Like, you don't need to be pulling at the heartstrings. They got this one that's like flawless. Every. I've seen a million times, every time it comes on, it always like, I gotta like kind of like pretend like I'm on my phone or drinking a drink or something. Like, oh, the Lacroix make my eyes water. It's like, it's so simple. It starts where it's like a little girl and she's with her mom and her stepdad. I think his name is Steve. And he's like at the birthday, and he like gives her a prince, like, thanks Steve. You know? And he's like, oh. And then like, she's a little older and he like gives her something else. Thanks, Steve. And it just like goes all the way till she gets older. And then finally on the day of her wedding, she's like in the room and he comes, he's like, you look beautiful. She goes, thanks, dad. And then you're like, oh, I'm about to start crying out. Like, it worked. And it worked. But then it's like public. It's like, this is where you go to buy pub subs and fried chicken. Why don't you just take me on that journey?
Matt McCarthy
Yeah, there's a. Yeah, there's some commercials that'll get you. Yeah, there's a. My dad would get choked up at the Budweiser horses. There's like a baby Clydesdale and he's like, hey, little guy. He's trying so hard.
Shane Gillis
That was a big super bowl ad, wasn't it?
Matt McCarthy
It's like last year.
Shane Gillis
That little guy, he's trying.
Matt McCarthy
Yeah. It's funny how many times I've seen my dad drunk, crying or recliner from something emotional. We were watching Planes, Trains and Automobiles. I look over and he is sobbing.
Shane Gillis
Cry on the. That's not a pillow scene. Right? That's what he was like. That's. Yeah.
Steve
Oh, well, something similar to that that would always get me was getting gifted adoption papers.
Matt McCarthy
Yeah. I thought that's where that Publix was
Shane Gillis
going, where it's, you're mine now. I own you. Yeah. Here you go.
Matt McCarthy
Moneyball gets me oh, Moneyball makes me cry. I've showed that to people that it had zero effect on in that kitchen, and it made me very embarrassed. It was like a silver linings playbook. I cry every time.
Steve
Who. Who was unaffected by Moneyball?
Matt McCarthy
Dumb girls.
Steve
Oh. Oh.
Matt McCarthy
But don't understand baseball. They want to see the Savannah Bananas. I don't want to see this. Yeah, you probably love the Savannah Bananas. That's what I was. No, I was surprised how wrong I was. Yeah, you seem like a banana, man. Yeah, you seem like a banana, man.
Shane Gillis
They're like the Harlem Globetrotters of baseball, Right? That's their deal.
Matt McCarthy
Yeah. They do flips, and the flips are actually sick. But then they ruin it by being Hawkeyes and doing, like. They do, like, Hawkeye dances and singing, and it's like, yeah, what are we doing here, fellas? It's a kids show.
Shane Gillis
That's what you want.
Matt McCarthy
You'll see the hot guys dance. You'll go, this is weird.
Steve
Shirts come off.
Matt McCarthy
They take their shirts off. They have, like, eye black and like, a mullet, and they're trying to look so cool.
Shane Gillis
And does it play when you're up in the stands watching that from afar? Does it, like, work?
Matt McCarthy
It probably would be horrible looking because they're doing a tick tock. They're facing a camera, like, in front of the pitchers, man. Yeah. From the upper deck. That must be like, damn, these guys. Guys suck. Then they do a flip and catch the ball, and you're like, all right,
Shane Gillis
well, that rocks the bananas.
Matt McCarthy
Yeah, the bananas are going crazy now. I swear. They have a rule that's actually sick, which is like, a foul ball is live, so the fans have to, like, throw it back.
Steve
Oh, that is a great rule.
Shane Gillis
That is great. They should just. They should include that in.
Matt McCarthy
In real base.
Shane Gillis
Real baseball.
Matt McCarthy
Yeah, we talked about it. And then teams would just pay guys with cannon arms to just sit in the. It'd be an arms race.
Shane Gillis
Just. Or just hold on to it and let them get all around the bases. Exactly. There you go.
Matt McCarthy
Yeah. You have to fight that guy. That would be awesome.
Shane Gillis
Yeah, that's how. That's crowd participation.
Matt McCarthy
Yeah. It's a good sport, actually.
Matt McBride
This episode is sponsored by BetterHelp. Many things in life don't go according to plan.
Steve
No.
Matt McBride
But that's kind of the beauty of it, Right?
Matt McCarthy
Yeah.
Matt McBride
And as you adapt, BetterHelp can help you figure it out. Excuse me. If you feel comfortable. Oh, sorry. If you feel comfortable. Sorry. Talk about a life change or pivot where therapy could have been that's gonna
Matt McCarthy
need some butter
Matt McBride
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Matt McCarthy
And it helps everybody.
Matt McBride
Exactly.
Matt McCarthy
It helps everybody around you.
Matt McBride
That's what I'm saying.
Matt McCarthy
Like, ever. Ever since Nate started going to therapy, I've noticed a change.
Matt McBride
Me too.
Matt McCarthy
And he's. He's. I've felt better being around him.
Matt McBride
Yeah.
Steve
Yeah.
Matt McBride
He was doing all kinds of stuff.
Matt McCarthy
Rotten.
Steve
Yeah.
Matt McBride
Really mean. Whatever you're going through, Nate, you can meet with a range of professionals specializing in different areas. You don't have to navigate life's challenge changes alone. Yeah, you have to navigate those changes alone.
Matt McCarthy
No, like when you, like, you know, you're challenging. Like something you believed about yourself your whole life, but you knew it was false.
Matt McBride
Thought I was you too.
Matt McCarthy
Nate thought he was into girls, but if you talk to people, I actually.
Matt McBride
Getting. Getting married will actually. That'll. That'll help you. That actually helps. If you don't like girls but you get married, you'll start. Trust me, you'll be fine. That's how.
Matt McCarthy
That's how you do that. You be fine.
Matt McBride
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Matt McCarthy
What else is going on? Steven, how's your.
Steve
Yeah, well, not. Not.
Matt McCarthy
How's golfing?
Steve
Oh, golf is good. Not to like me. Monster. But the. Because I. The. When we were talking about early sketches, one of the ones that I did with my cousin was my cousin. Hello. And it was the thing that just kind of made me laugh was thinking about my mom and my aunt's reaction to it because it's so. It's so juvenile. It was like, you know, we just learned about, you know, I gu. Come and what have you. So, like, we just played this. Yeah.
Matt McCarthy
We're like, wait, what happened?
Steve
Well, we just learned about, you know,
Matt McCarthy
how old were you?
Steve
I don't know.
Matt McCarthy
You made it come. You made a. Come video with your cousins.
Steve
Yeah. No one. I think we've talked about this.
Shane Gillis
Yes.
Matt McCarthy
I don't think we've talked about nobody.
Steve
Nobody was. You know, it's. It's just the art of filmmaking.
Matt McCarthy
What was the sketch that.
Steve
Hello. Walked in? I was, like, married, you know. Yeah. And then she sees, like, spat out milk and water, you know, just like, as if. So. But I thought it was so funny at the time. And my mom. I had just horrified.
Shane Gillis
Of course,
Matt McCarthy
they had to destroy that tape, I'm sure. Yeah.
Steve
It was also vhs, so that was like. You would just record over it for your next. Yeah, those are the days.
Shane Gillis
It could just be a bad sketch. Could be erased just like that.
Steve
Yeah.
Shane Gillis
We. We would make. Starting, like, sixth grade. Really sixth to eighth grade, we were rocking a lot of little. Little short in camera edit movies. We made one called do the White Thing. It was kind of right out, right after do the Right Thing came out, and it was just about a bunch of white people in a mansion. And the AC went out, and they were all trying to figure out how to, like, survive.
Steve
How old were you when you made.
Shane Gillis
I was in. That was in sixth grade. We made that.
Steve
Yeah.
Shane Gillis
And then we followed it up with Stand By. Me too, which was about. That the kids that had found Ray Brower, that they unlocked a curse, and then Ray Brower came to kill them all. The kid who died of the train.
Matt McCarthy
Wonderful.
Shane Gillis
Yeah. And so it was a horror movie, and me and my friends each played the original cast members, and Ray Brower came and killed each of us.
Matt McCarthy
We made. I think we made one where it was. It was like the Blair Witch. It was like. But there was a ghost, and it was kind of a. We just made fun of a kid's mom that was also in it. We just. The ghost just imitated his mom's voice. And so, like, every scene, he'd be like, stop.
Matt McBride
It.
Matt McCarthy
Was every scene that was a classic.
Steve
And you're saying in camera edit. So that. That, like, that's where you rewind back to where you want the edit. Yeah.
Shane Gillis
You would, like, do it and then, like, pause, then you turn around and, like. But because it would, like, take a second or two to roll, you would have to, like, pause and then, like, hit record. And then the person would have to wait like, a second and a half. We had to time it down to then, like, say.
Matt McCarthy
Yeah, that's awesome.
Steve
Yeah.
Matt McCarthy
Yeah. You guys are doing more advanced.
Shane Gillis
They're pretty shitty.
Matt McCarthy
Holding up 911 headlines.
Shane Gillis
Oh, that's pretty good.
Steve
We did. My brother and I got into, like.
Matt McCarthy
You guys were doing freak dude.
Steve
No, that was gross.
Matt McCarthy
You had your cousin spit out. Come.
Steve
Yeah, because.
Matt McCarthy
Spit out your comment
Steve
again.
Matt McBride
Hello.
Steve
You gotta bleep this out.
Shane Gillis
If I get a last name, too. Give the last name. Wow.
Matt McBride
Wow.
Steve
She. No. So. Hello.
Matt McCarthy
Yeah.
Steve
What was I Saying.
Shane Gillis
Well, because, like, your cousin,
Steve
she got into Richard Simmons back in the day, and that was, like. It was really cool.
Shane Gillis
And that's what made her want to do the cum scene. That was it.
Steve
I think it was me going, this is going to be so funny. But, yeah, before that, it was way more tame. It was. My brother and I would make superhero videos. So it was like. And they all had the same structure, which is like. He would narrate. I'd come in as the superhero. You'd have a dance and then you'd fight a villain.
Matt McCarthy
We used to film wrestling. We would do wf.
Steve
Yeah.
Matt McCarthy
And there's a video. I. I was Undertaker. Him, The Littlest Kid was XL and he rolled into a pole. And this kid had the craziest temper. So then it becomes him. Like, you see everyone running. It was such a good video. Oh, he used to spaz. He was great.
Steve
Yeah.
Matt McCarthy
He attacked us constantly. And he would attack whoever. Like, he'd be fighting somebody else. And then everyone had to run. He whipped me in the back with a Hot Wheels track when he was fighting his brother. It killed.
Steve
Terrifying.
Matt McCarthy
Yeah. He was a wild kid. It's good stuff.
Shane Gillis
You feel that seems sad at the end. Did something happen to him?
Matt McCarthy
No, he's doing well. I can't believe it. Because he was like a real. He was the littlest brother and he was tiny, but he was nuts. And he would just. Again, he would just attack everyone. You'd hear him coming. Somebody would fight him. Like, downstairs, you'd hear him come running up the steps, just trying to fight him. It was so scary. Dude.
Matt McBride
Yeah.
Matt McCarthy
What's going on with you? Yo.
Shane Gillis
Hanging out this hotel room.
Matt McCarthy
I'll never. Dude, audiobooks. I cannot do this. That was brutal.
Shane Gillis
That was pretty hard, wasn't it?
Matt McCarthy
Yes.
Shane Gillis
You. You did great, though. I remember after your recording session, you. You were like. Yeah. You seemed worried, but you were awesome.
Matt McCarthy
All right, good.
Shane Gillis
But it was. I wouldn't have asked people to do it, I think, if I knew how difficult it was. I didn't think it would be difficult.
Matt McCarthy
I didn't think so at all.
Shane Gillis
But then you start. You're getting in there, and, like, on hour four, you're kind of like, I think I've forgotten how to read.
Matt McCarthy
Totally.
Shane Gillis
I'm stumbling over every single word. It's weird because you're reading, but you're also performing at the same time. So you're having to really concentrate in the moment that you start drifting about, like, what's for lunch? It's just like, I Blew it.
Matt McCarthy
Well, I went in. I went in a little hungover late. Like, I woke up late, so I had to get. I didn't eat breakfast. I just drank it.
Shane Gillis
If you're not showing up for your audiobook recording a little late, then what kind of baller are you, you know?
Matt McCarthy
But I got it. And the room's so quiet, and the microphones, literally, I could just hear my stomach the entire. The whole time. It was like. They'd be like, all right, we got to do that sentence again.
Shane Gillis
Why don't you eat something? And then let's get back in here and do.
Matt McCarthy
And then they were like, so this is we. We have you booked for six hours, so we can do it. I was like, at, like, hour three. They're like, do you want to. You can come back tomorrow. I was like, I can't come back.
Shane Gillis
No, you got a motor through.
Matt McCarthy
We're just getting this thing.
Shane Gillis
That's how I felt. They kept asking. I want to take breaks. I'm like, absolutely not.
Steve
Not.
Shane Gillis
I'm going.
Matt McCarthy
And it's so embarrassing when you can't read. Oh, and there's two people waiting for you to read.
Shane Gillis
They're like, you pronounce it the. It's the.
Steve
Yeah.
Shane Gillis
I kept getting notes that I was like. Like, garbling the words. Yeah, that's like. That's a choice. It's part of the performance. I'm swallowing these words.
Matt McCarthy
Yeah. Like, you have to enunciate every single word.
Shane Gillis
Yeah.
Matt McCarthy
Like you're combining every word and. Yeah, it was tough, but we did it.
Shane Gillis
We did it. I think the audiobook actually is pretty awesome.
Matt McCarthy
Yeah, it is.
Shane Gillis
Everybody in it is pretty good. And, yeah, I really was grateful to all y' all for showing up to do it.
Matt McCarthy
I was grateful you asked.
Shane Gillis
Fan for very serious stuff.
Matt McCarthy
Been a fan forever.
Steve
Surreal.
Matt McCarthy
Yeah, it's awesome.
Steve
Yeah.
Matt McCarthy
I remember getting foot for this way. You got.
Shane Gillis
You got.
Matt McCarthy
Rented it a blockbuster. I was at a real low point in my life.
Shane Gillis
Yeah, I was going to say that. So you're where that three bucks came from. Got paid on that.
Matt McCarthy
This episode is brought to you by Rocket Money.
Steve
Rocket Money.
Matt McCarthy
Matt, what were you finally able to save for, thanks to running money? The automatic savings vacation.
Matt McBride
Can I. Can I tell you something? Actually, I had a surprise charge story. Really crazy surprise charge.
Matt McCarthy
Those lying cam girls.
Matt McBride
No, actually, it's funny enough, they had nothing to do with that. I was going through my whatchamac. I have a joint credit card car with my wife, and we're going over the monthly charges. And it was like a shock. They almost. Someone had I think frauded us. And I had a charge for the Bangkok massage down by the airport.
Matt McCarthy
Sons of.
Matt McBride
It was $160.
Matt McCarthy
That's. I mean, and also that's a tough one for you to have to like. That was not me.
Matt McBride
I said, babe, what. What the hell?
Matt McCarthy
I'm so taking off.
Matt McBride
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Matt McCarthy
What else is going on?
Shane Gillis
What else you got?
Matt McCarthy
What do you got? You got anything?
Shane Gillis
Oh, God.
Matt McBride
You know what?
Shane Gillis
This summer has just been about pushing this book, getting the book out there in the world. I've had to do a lot of book signings. That's a new thing for me.
Matt McCarthy
How's that?
Shane Gillis
It's very interesting. You show up at these events and they have all the. They have all the books lined up with the staff. They have them all open to a certain page and it'll be like, here's 1500 of them. We got to sign these things. Now you start getting into a zone where you just start. Yeah, they just like you sign it. I can move the book. Next one, next one. Start going super fast. And that's another thing where if you don't think about it, you can get into a zone. The moment you think about it, you just fuck your name up and you're. Oh, God, something happened.
Matt McCarthy
Yeah, you ruined somebody's book.
Shane Gillis
Yeah. Yeah, but that stuff's been pretty fun. Honestly.
Steve
This.
Shane Gillis
This, the. The book has been awesome. It's been. Whenever you do press for comedies, I feel like the press is always mean. Like, there. There's always a sense of, like, you come into the room to be interviewed and there's a little bit of just like, you're funny. You think you're funny. I really do feel like that. I've noticed when you do a different genre movie, like when I would do press for Alien or anything, the. The reporter, the interviewers are always more engaged. And I feel like whenever it was comedies, there was always. You could sense that they didn't really want to be there. Like, this is the stupidest thing. That's. That's what it would feel like. And the book was the same way, I feel like. I think because in order for people to interview you on that, they have to actually read the book. So I feel like they've just invested enough time to take the interview seriously. We're like, you know, you. We would do press for vice principals or whatever, and it would constantly be like, I watched the first episode and then they would start. It's like, oh, great. Warm room.
Matt McCarthy
It picks up.
Steve
Yeah, Give it some time.
Shane Gillis
Watch it. What else?
Matt McCarthy
Dude, Come on, Gerbs.
Steve
Oh, me.
Matt McCarthy
Do something.
Shane Gillis
What you got? What are you gonna eat? What are you gonna eat after this? You're gonna go get a big meal? Are you gonna cook something in your kitchen? In your hotel room?
Matt McCarthy
What are you gonna wear to the premiere? I know you got a snazzy outfit. Okay, so then you are a super.
Shane Gillis
Is this a dress up premiere?
Steve
I was curious.
Matt McCarthy
I will not be dressed.
Shane Gillis
Yeah, you're. That's what you're wearing.
Matt McCarthy
Oh, that's a soda. Hit me with one. That stuck with me. He's like, dude, you always dress like you're the guy coming from the hotel pool in the lobby. And I'm like, yeah, that is exactly what I look like.
Shane Gillis
Be comfy.
Steve
I tried to pack my suit, but it didn't fit, so. Because I guess I got it. Like. So I'm just gonna do just like, trousers, dress, shorts. Yeah, just like, you know, like, suit without the blazer. Yeah, no time.
Shane Gillis
I remember the very first premiere that I think it was like, for Heartbreak Kid. I invited my parents to come to it. They had never been to anything like that. I hadn't really been to anything like that.
Matt McCarthy
That.
Shane Gillis
And my stepdad was like. Call me up was like, so this event, is this, like, pants or dress? Shorts,
Matt McCarthy
man.
Shane Gillis
I'd stick with the pants, probably.
Matt McCarthy
Dude. Heartbreak Kid is, like, my favorite comedy scene. Me and Beezer watch it all the time. It's when he's escaping on the train.
Shane Gillis
Oh, yeah.
Matt McCarthy
And they pull him up and then just beat his ass and throw him out of the train for no reason.
Matt McBride
Yeah.
Matt McCarthy
Have you ever seen it? It's so good.
Shane Gillis
I love the ending of that movie, too. And that ending was, like, something that I think that on looking back on, I think they were, like, thinking that was part of the reason why maybe the movie didn't catch on fire is because it was, like, too dark. But I love the ending of the movie. I thought it was awesome.
Matt McCarthy
Movie rules, but. Yeah, I don't know. I. I. Wearing a suit would have been crazy.
Steve
No, I wore it last wearing a
Shane Gillis
suit in Charleston, too. It's going to be hot as it doesn't. When it gets in, the sun goes down, it still gets hotter.
Steve
Yeah, fair enough.
Matt McCarthy
Also, this is a premiere for, like,
Steve
a thing I really care about.
Matt McCarthy
No one. Yeah, but nobody does season three premieres. Really?
Shane Gillis
You should do. You should do full nude.
Matt McCarthy
Us doing a full nude. I could dress you like Kanye's wife. Saran Wrap you.
Shane Gillis
That's how you should go. I've been to a few of these things before. That's how you should do it.
Matt McCarthy
I'll wear a mask. I'll just like Kanye. You dress like his wife.
Steve
Okay.
Matt McCarthy
That'd be sick.
Steve
Yeah. But, yeah, you're asking, like, golf. Golfing.
Matt McCarthy
How's it going?
Steve
It's incredible.
Matt McCarthy
Yeah.
Shane Gillis
So you're a big golfer.
Steve
Yeah, I love it. And just trying to worm my way into this, like, the. You know, there's a lot of, like, YouTube golfers and. No, nobody's responding to my DMs, but.
Matt McCarthy
Really?
Steve
Yeah.
Matt McCarthy
You're DM.
Shane Gillis
After this season, they will.
Steve
Yeah.
Matt McCarthy
Yeah.
Steve
So we'll see.
Shane Gillis
How long have you been golfing for?
Steve
For a while, about three years.
Shane Gillis
Oh, okay.
Matt McCarthy
Yeah, he's already. You're really good at it.
Steve
Thanks. I. I played for, like, senior high school. There was a course really close to us called Valley Forge Golf Club, where you could pay for, like, play for five bucks. And I got him.
Matt McCarthy
I hope someone pukes on you. I'm gonna get a round of golf.
Shane Gillis
You should.
Matt McCarthy
You.
Shane Gillis
You should. There's a lot of great golf courses around here.
Steve
I know. Brandon was telling me.
Shane Gillis
Yeah, yeah, yeah. Brandon golfs all the time Brandon runs our company, and. And I'll go out with him and see how good he is. I'm like, how many times are you getting out here?
Steve
That is. That is. That is literally a thing.
Matt McCarthy
No, it pisses me off how often he's golfing.
Matt McBride
Yeah.
Matt McCarthy
I'm like, dude, I'm touring. I'm dying. He's like, well, today was a good day. I. I went golfing.
Steve
Yeah. I feel. I feel inclined to lie about it.
Shane Gillis
I, I, I. When I moved here, I was gonna get involved. I was. You know, that's the deal here. Golf is. And, you know, my buddies here are into it. And I was like, well, man, maybe I'll make it my thing. Maybe that'll be something. I just. I don't. I'm not good at it. But I also. It just takes so much time. I'm like, man, there's no way I have the energy to, like, give everything I need to. To make this good. But you know what? My. My boy is. My son is getting into it, so that makes me want to get out there more. But I think I'm also just okay with going out and being fucking terrible, being at the butt of everyone's jokes with every swing and then just getting hammered the whole entire time.
Matt McCarthy
We have a golf outing coming up.
Steve
That's right.
Matt McCarthy
I don't go. Yeah, you're gonna have to keep your composure this time.
Steve
You're gonna have to keep your composure this time.
Matt McCarthy
He's. I made him rage quit. The down syndrome, fundraising.
Shane Gillis
Oh, you rage quit? Yeah.
Steve
I wouldn't say rage quit. I said, please stop.
Shane Gillis
Wait, what was he doing to make it? Why did you want him to stop? What was he doing?
Steve
He was ramming my golf cart.
Shane Gillis
Very dangerous.
Steve
It. It's. It is dangerous, Dan.
Matt McCarthy
I was going so slow, and I didn't.
Steve
I love golf. And we were doing.
Matt McCarthy
It was on the 18th, 17th. Okay. I left you alone all day. So when we do this, I can't golf. So I just. I get a Bluetooth speaker and I. Oh, my God. And I drink and just drive around and bother people.
Shane Gillis
Yes.
Matt McBride
That's.
Shane Gillis
That's what I. Yeah, but I didn't know that you could do that at these tournaments. You can. I can do that.
Steve
You shouldn't.
Matt McCarthy
I put on Flight of the Valkyries and started chasing him. He was so mad.
Steve
Immediate. Immediate.
Matt McCarthy
I thought it was gonna be a friendly tap. The first tap, like, so light. Just tapped the back of it. And he was like, cut it out. I was like, well, now I'm I'm all over now.
Shane Gillis
Yeah.
Steve
Checkmate. Immediate checkmate.
Matt McCarthy
He was with. He was with o' Connor in the car, and he's like, I'm getting out. And he gets out, and Chris is like, don't get out. So I'm just chasing him now because Chris.
Steve
Chris immediately. You know what it felt like? You know what it felt like? It felt like when you. You had a friend growing up that. That you were, like, cool with, and then all of a sudden, they're around other guys and they're just different to you.
Shane Gillis
Oh, I've. I've seen that. Shane, is that what you were doing to him?
Steve
No, that was what I felt like with Chris. Even though I love Chris and, you know, that's not Chris.
Matt McCarthy
Chris would love that. He would love the golf cart tap he did. And everyone does it.
Steve
Starts getting into it, and then I'm just like, I. I don't want any parts of this. Is gonna tear up the fairway. It's. It's ridiculous.
Matt McCarthy
You're worried about range and golf course in Dillsburg.
Steve
Yes. I got you. Greens keepers. You know, you don't horse around like that. It takes a lot of work. So I just wanted to out. And then, of course, that only. You know, it's crazy. Just feeds the beast.
Matt McCarthy
He was instantly. I've never seen someone get that angry that fast. I went. I was genuinely trying to be friendly,
Steve
and I was genuinely saying, stop it.
Matt McCarthy
You said stop it right away?
Steve
Yeah, like a.
Matt McCarthy
Right away.
Shane Gillis
How long it take you guys to make up after that?
Matt McCarthy
We didn't. He. He stormed off.
Steve
He's still mad.
Matt McCarthy
So it's a. Literally a fundraiser for down syndrome. There's an event, and there's a bunch of people in the pavilion, like, I
Steve
didn't know you were supposed to stick around.
Matt McCarthy
And they're excited. They're excited to see the people from tires.
Steve
Yeah.
Matt McCarthy
And Steve finishes the 18th hole, packs his bag, walks straight to the parking lot. My mom stopped him. It was like. Like, aren't you gonna come say hi? And he was like, no. And then.
Shane Gillis
I think, I've done enough today.
Matt McCarthy
Yes. And then he got in his car and drove to Philadelphia and didn't say goodbye to anybody.
Steve
I say goodbye to you. Hold on a second. Hold on a second. That is.
Matt McCarthy
That's. That's a rage.
Steve
Quit that hearing how you just.
Shane Gillis
Technically, that is.
Steve
Technically, that's a rage.
Shane Gillis
Yeah.
Steve
Now, this is one thing, though, that I did not know. Sean, you make me feel so bad. Sean's got his shirt over his nose. So I did not know that. That. That there's a whole hangout thing happening afterwards.
Matt McCarthy
We all told you several times.
Steve
I don't. Well, I don't recall Shane. So the point is had I know that that was a thing then then it'd be a little bit different. I. I'm a little new to this whole, you know, world because I got to.
Matt McCarthy
Hold on. It wasn't that fancy. It was in a pavilion in Dillsburg, Pennsylvania.
Steve
Well, whatever.
Matt McBride
I.
Steve
Listen. I get how that looks like a rage quit. I accept rage quit. I accept the technicality of that.
Matt McCarthy
You were.
Shane Gillis
You left because you were ashamed of how you reacted. No joke.
Matt McCarthy
Yeah.
Steve
No.
Matt McCarthy
I think you really want to be away situation.
Steve
Absolutely not. I was frustrated with you.
Matt McCarthy
Why?
Steve
Because I said please don't. Then you did it.
Matt McCarthy
I did it twice.
Steve
No, you wouldn't stop.
Matt McCarthy
Well of course later. The Valkyries is playing. I was a case deep it. But everyone loved it. Everyone had a blast.
Steve
I had this.
Matt McCarthy
Phil was laughing, Billy was laughing. Chris was laughing. It was fun.
Steve
That's good. I'm glad everybody had a great time. I'm excited for it.
Matt McCarthy
You told my mom the off.
Shane Gillis
You need to work on a revenge plan now.
Steve
No.
Shane Gillis
Yeah. No.
Steve
Yeah. I'll lose that fight.
Shane Gillis
You need to find your own song. Yep. Supercharge your go your golf cart.
Matt McCarthy
Pirates of the Caribbean.
Steve
You would. First of all. Yes. But second of all, you would absolutely
Matt McCarthy
ask him what type of. Of music he listens to. He listens to pirates theme song while
Shane Gillis
he drives to the ride or to the movie.
Steve
Oh, to. To the movie.
Shane Gillis
To the movie.
Matt McCarthy
Yeah.
Steve
The hun.
Shane Gillis
And just kind of cruise through traffic.
Steve
Yep. And have just really childlike fantasies about saving people.
Matt McCarthy
It's great.
Shane Gillis
Get in the zone, man.
Matt McCarthy
And he stops it. Stop sign. I've been in that car, dude. Eight second stop. Other people are like go. Oh. He's like go ahead. 10 miles an hour.
Steve
But. Oh dang. What was I gonna tell you? Oh yeah. I don't want to say. It's so boring.
Matt McCarthy
I gotta say it now we got nothing.
Steve
So I. I got invited to. I probably shouldn't be talking about glory old. The Eagles autism foundation. They do so much for autism but in event this one I.
Matt McCarthy
We'll probably take out that glory hole stuff.
Steve
Oh yeah.
Matt McCarthy
Maybe. We'll see. Are you all right with.
Steve
I have no shame about it.
Matt McBride
I don't.
Matt McCarthy
Okay.
Steve
Yeah. Should I. Yeah.
Matt McCarthy
Oh yeah.
Shane Gillis
It seems. Seems a little odd.
Steve
Really?
Shane Gillis
Yeah.
Steve
I don't know. It's.
Matt McCarthy
See, I'll defend it.
Steve
It's just pornography. It's pretty sort of. I feel like it's sort of run of the mill. It's. You know.
Matt McCarthy
Anyway, let's get back to the Eagles. Autism,
Steve
it was. So I won, closes the pin. And my one friend that I golf with was like, did they give you cash? Because, you know if they give you cash, you need to give that right back to the charity. Right. And I was like, no, I didn't know that.
Matt McCarthy
No chance.
Steve
But luckily, it was just a gift card to the pro shop. So
Shane Gillis
the gift shop, that feels like you could keep that.
Matt McCarthy
Right.
Shane Gillis
They're not thinking that you have to return that.
Steve
That's right.
Shane Gillis
Yeah.
Steve
But I'm glad he said something because, again, that would have been another gaffe.
Matt McCarthy
I feel like autistic guys could. If they locked in on golf, they'd be good.
Steve
I think a lot of them are.
Matt McCarthy
Yeah. Makes sense.
Steve
You know what I've always found peculiar is the.
Matt McCarthy
If dancing them guys locked into Savannah Bananas, they'd be great. They do Little League Savannahs. Bananas. They're doing flips in the outfield. Yeah, I could.
Steve
Yeah.
Matt McCarthy
He's awesome. He's got it like down syndrome that just drains threes.
Steve
Yeah.
Matt McCarthy
No matter where. On the court overhead. Just trains it. It's wonderful. Those get me. Those make me cry. Back to the crying things, right? Kid with down syndrome hitting a three, whole high school gym going crazy. It's the best.
Steve
Yeah.
Matt McCarthy
Especially because the down syndrome kid has zero humility. Hit a three. It's so sick, dude. What were you about to say?
Steve
Oh, I'm sure it's an observation that's been made before, but the Tiger Woods. How? You know, people will say he's a black golfer, but it's like, when you look at the amount of Asians on tour, it's staggeringly high. Like, I feel like it's way more the Asian part of him.
Matt McCarthy
Oh, that's an interesting take.
Shane Gillis
Yeah.
Steve
Let's delete it.
Shane Gillis
A nice talk with you guys today.
Matt McCarthy
Very genuine wrestling.
Steve
How is that. Hold on.
Matt McCarthy
Non joking. Genuine racist guy.
Steve
How is that racist? He is half black and half Asian. Right, okay.
Matt McCarthy
And you're saying it's clearly the Asian side of him that's successful.
Steve
Let's look at the tours. Let's look at the tours. We'll delete it then.
Matt McCarthy
But no, no, you're fine. You're fine.
Steve
You see the lpga. I mean, a guy did get fired
Shane Gillis
for that
Steve
commentator of the LPGA Tour. He's like, it's the IM or Kim or It's. They're all Koreans.
Matt McCarthy
Yeah. Fired for that.
Steve
Yeah, it was back in the day. Yeah.
Matt McCarthy
But anyway, I love when those announcers get fired. It's like the best. The Kansas City fag capital of the world. I said something earlier today I didn't know my mic was on and probably never gonna put the headset on again.
Shane Gillis
That feels like that would be. The thing you would probably have to specialize in is knowing when the mics on it was.
Matt McCarthy
It was not.
Shane Gillis
That's your whole gig. Right.
Matt McCarthy
It was just. It was B roll before the game of the field. And you just hear the announcer talking, and for some reason he says, kansas City fag capital the world. It costs a commercial. It was before the game. They told him in the fifth inning,
Shane Gillis
oh, my goodness, how fun would it have been to been on that crew and just like knowing, like, oh, he's gone, he's. He's out of here.
Matt McCarthy
And then, yeah. Cassiano famously hits a home run mid apology. So he's going. He's like, to my family, I'm sorry I let you down. And my bosses who trusted me here. Sorry. Deep drive Castellanos. Three, two, Cincinnati Reds. Oh, but the other one, that's incredible. Is those two dudes talking about the Negro League hall of Fame. They're like, we went to the. They switched that word. And the guy hits it.
Shane Gillis
This is something that happened recently.
Matt McCarthy
Yeah. The guy drills it. Oh, wow. It's the other guy.
Shane Gillis
What does his face look like when he. When he realize it comes out?
Matt McCarthy
Neither of them process it. The guy with him's like, we did. We went there.
Shane Gillis
Yeah, because, you know, that's what they were. That's what they were calling it the whole time they went there.
Steve
That's why.
Shane Gillis
Yeah, they didn't think about it. They didn't code switch.
Matt McCarthy
Have you ever seen that clip?
Steve
No.
Matt McCarthy
It's unbelievable.
Steve
Yeah, I'll definitely watch it today.
Matt McCarthy
It's one of the biggest fuck ups of all time. Just pointing directly at the camera. Go. We had a great day. We went to the. It's nuts. Those boys got fired. Ah, we've been doing this long enough, huh?
Shane Gillis
No, wait.
Matt McCarthy
Well, thanks for coming in here. Sorry. We were. This is how we do this.
Shane Gillis
I really like how you did. I feel like we hit some hard hitting topics here. Yeah, I feel like it was. We think about is education. Let's get into it. Come on. Recharge the batteries. Let's go. All right, bye.
Matt McCarthy
Thank you.
Matt McBride
Watch new episodes of Matt and Shane's secret podcast on Spotify do.
Episode 629 - "Like and Subscribe" (feat. Danny McBride & Steve Gerben)
Date: August 8, 2026
In this raucous and candid episode, comedians Matt McCusker and Shane Gillis are joined by Danny McBride and Steve Gerben. The group dives into a wide-ranging, off-the-rails conversation about everything from awkward new state laws, childhood creativity, and growing up in comedy to embarrassing moments, crying at movies, and the bizarre rituals of press tours and book publicity. There’s signature irreverence and revealing “behind-the-scenes” talk from creators and friends—as well as high-level goofing and some heartfelt moments amid the laughter.
“You don’t just travel with a thumb drive full of the greatest hits?”
— Shane Gillis (01:07)
“I would definitely show the government my face to masturbation.”
— Steve (03:03)
“You like and subscribe, but you don’t want to do it in real life?”
— Shane Gillis (14:50)
“I feel sorry for people who don’t know what they want to do… What an incredible waste of time to go to college to figure it out.”
— Danny McBride (22:34)
“Jackass is one of the greatest shows ever made. … That comedy translates to every language.”
— Shane Gillis (25:02)
“My dad would get choked up at the Budweiser horses… He’s trying so hard!”
— Matt McCarthy (31:07)
“You told my mom to f*** off!”
— Matt McCarthy (55:25, referring to Steve's rage-quit at the golf outing)
“We made ‘Do the White Thing.’ … It was just about white people in a mansion, and the AC went out.”
— Shane Gillis (36:46)
For fans of Matt and Shane’s Secret Podcast, this episode is peak form: uproarious, sometimes gross, always surprising, and littered with moments of real vulnerability and camaraderie. It’s comedians being themselves, gleefully veering from deep dives on the creative process to absurd “would you rather” style bits and the kind of confessions that only come from old friends on a mic. For newcomers, it’s a crash-course in the show’s chaotic but heartfelt universe.
Watch for: