Ep 631 - B.B.Q. (feat. Joe Derosa)

Summary

Matt and Shane’s Secret Podcast – Ep 631: “B.B.Q.” feat. Joe DeRosa

Recorded August 12, 2026

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Episode Overview

This episode of Matt and Shane’s Secret Podcast brings classic chaotic summer energy as comedians Matt McCusker and Shane Gillis welcome Joe DeRosa to recap their recent beach trip with friends. The trio dive into tales of poor life choices, road trip disasters, Instagram DM etiquette, and the endlessly petty in-fighting among their crew. Drawing on inside jokes (“meth behavior,” “stim-fap,” and “PA/OL” code for personal attacks vs. over the line), the conversation expertly blends self-roast, heartfelt nostalgia, and wildness, capturing why this show is beloved by comedy fans.

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Key Discussion Points & Insights

1. Roommate Oddities and “Meth Behavior”

• Lemaire’s Tech and Moped Antics:
  The group riffs on Joe's roommate Lemaire’s tendency to pause video games, leaving his “mainframe” running and heating up the house (00:03–01:14).
  • Shane: “He paused his games, goes on the road for a week. The room’s hot... His servers.” (00:28)
  • Matt: “This is meth. This is like meth. This is lots of tinkering.” (01:04–01:11)

2. Joe’s Legendary Road Trip Eating

• Fast Food Odyssey:
  Joe describes a 12-hour drive fueled by a non-stop fast food binge—KFC, Arby’s, Burger King, and more (02:38–03:29).
  • Joe: “Launched right out of the gate with a KFC chicken little, three chicken tenders and a drumstick... Whopper with cheese, bacon, double cheeseburger, fries...king sized Skittles.” (02:50–03:14)
  • Matt: “What was the bowel movement like after three fast foods?” (03:29)

3. Travel Fails: Direct vs. Connecting Flights

• Joe’s 12-hour drive is revealed to have been unnecessary—he could have flown direct, but took advice from “Beezer” rather than Google (03:56–05:40).
  • Matt: “You can get your phone and be, ‘Are there flights from…’” (04:16)
  • Shane: “The connecting flight in Dallas or Houston is gay. It’s less than a two-hour flight, dude.” (05:20–05:36)

4. The Great Instagram DM Debate

• Sliding vs. Story Reply:
  The longest-running debate: Is replying to an Instagram story “sliding into DMs”? Joe claims a distinction; Shane calls BS (06:19–11:18).
  • Shane: “So you’re DMing her, but it’s not DMing her?” (06:47)
  • Joe: “Is there a difference between sliding into a girl’s DMs versus responding to her story that she receives as a DM?” (07:29)
  • Matt: “There is a difference and it is sliding into the DMs.” (10:07)
  • Quote: “I didn’t slide in the DMs, dude. I replied to a story. It tells you. It says, what do you think about this story? She was asking.” – Joe (08:38)

5. Beach House Antics & Group Dynamics

• Group Arguments & Banter:
  Multiple stories of drinking, eating, and arguing at the beach. Topics include:
  • Ranking seltzers under a full moon (15:31–16:44)
  • Food and drinking inventions (“splitters,” mixing vodka with seltzer) (17:13–18:01)
  • Adderall-fueled bar adventures and “stim-fapping” (19:33–23:09)
  • O’Connor’s bizarre drunk arguments: rating Prince, weird band hot-takes (30:23–33:42)
  • Repeated self-roasting about their own group chats and pre-trip trash talking (35:02–36:58)
  • Best quote: “You know how this is how I describe you? ...Shane is Batman. He knows everyone’s kryptonite bullet and how to fire it.” – Joe (55:00)

6. Personal Attacks (“PA”) vs. Over the Line (“OL”)

• Friend Group’s Argument Code:
  They introduce their PA/OL scale—personal attacks are fair, over the line is not. Tommy habitually steps over the line (“OL”), including friendly slaps and even spitting (57:16–59:05).
  • Joe: “He did slap me in the face.” (57:25)
  • Discussion about physical roughhousing (Gomez putting Joe in a chokehold at a show) (58:29–59:05)

7. New York Small Business Realities

• Joe’s Hoagie Shop Post-Mortem:
  Joe shares the ups and downs of running “Joey Roses” in NYC, from COVID-era red tape (“they made starting easy”) to the return of brutal regulations and high rent post-pandemic (45:10–47:30).
  • Joe: “New York is a very, very hard place to survive... I did not enjoy it in New York.” (45:47)
  • “Ever again.” – Joe on running a NYC business (48:05)

8. YouTube & Comedy Business

• Specials, Monetization, and Thumbnails:
  They discuss the oddness and work of monetizing content, the science of YouTube thumbnails and analytics, and frustrations with the modern “business side” of being comics (41:19–44:46).

9. Heart & Humor: The Cycle of Arguments

• Loving Roast Culture:
  Throughout, their capacity to roast each other, get offended, then immediately make up is the soul of the pod.
  • Joe: “I love a good argument, but I get. Damn, dude. I’m crying from that.” (34:30)
  • Shane: “You just don’t like being the one who’s screaming about Wookies.” (34:25)
  • Matt: “It’s the best part of DeRosa…you’re gonna fight, and next day you’re getting a call: ‘Can we stop with this?’” (51:14)

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Notable Quotes & Memorable Moments

• On Instagram Etiquette

  • “Replying to a story is sliding into a DM.” – Shane (10:04)
  • “This is righteous.” – Joe about benign DM replies (09:46)

• On Beach House Perversity

  • “You stim fapped for three hours.” – Shane (22:26)
  • “I knocked first!” – Shane, defending his walk-in (22:34)
  • “I would have hit the drive immediately.” – Matt, on post-stim-fap shame (22:55)

• On Group Dynamic

  • “You know everyone’s kryptonite bullet and how to fire it…” – Joe to Shane (55:00)
  • “PA/OL. If you PA me, I PA you. But that’s an OL.” (56:54)
  • “He’s a big slap guy…sometimes he’s a little too drunk, and he’ll really slap you.” (58:17)

• On Friendship

  • “Don’t stop [busting my balls].” – Joe (56:11)
  • “God forbid somebody loves you.” – Shane (61:06)

• Food & Cooking

  • “He made like a steakhouse dinner…he’s just sitting there flipping everything.” – Matt on Tommy’s cooking (61:38–61:49)
  • “He resentfully serves after he makes a nice meal.” – Shane, about Tommy (61:49)

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Important Segments with Timestamps

• Lemaire/“Meth” Behavior: 00:03–01:18
• Road Trip (Joe’s fast food odyssey): 02:38–03:29
• Direct vs. Connecting Flights: 03:56–05:40
• Instagram DM Debate: 06:19–11:18
• “PA/OL”—the rules of friend group arguments: 56:46–57:36
• Stim-fap and Beach House debauchery: 19:33–23:18
• YouTube Monetization & Thumbnails: 41:19–44:46
• NYC Small Business Reality: 45:10–47:30
• Choking, slapping, and physical “OL”s: 58:29–59:50

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Final Thoughts

This episode spotlights the unique madness and hilarity of Matt and Shane’s crew: the high-volume bickering, warmth beneath the ribbing, and endless recall of absurd travel, group chat, and beach house moments. Joe DeRosa, ever the lightning rod, is roasted and does his fair share of roasting, especially during the infamous DM debate and the tale of stim-fapping. In true form, the show manages to evoke both perpetual adolescent summer energy and the heartfelt bonds of adult friendship.

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Stream Joe DeRosa’s comedy special "I Never Promised You a Rose Garden" now on Netflix, and catch more from Matt and Shane at their respective websites and shows.

Transcript

[Joe DeRosa]

The wild, wild West.

[Matt McCusker]

Some bullshit.

[Joe DeRosa]

You know what? That kid's an odd duck.

[Matt McCusker]

Lamar is an odd duck.

[Shane]

He's a real odd duck.

[Matt McCusker]

Dude, you brought down his whole mainframe.

[Shane]

I did. I came home and unplugged everything.

[Joe DeRosa]

Yeah, dude, I got a roommate. His name's Lemaire.

[Shane]

You see, the thing is this.

[Joe DeRosa]

He's an odd dog.

[Matt McCusker]

I mean, dude, he's got to be costing at least. I swear to God, probably 55 bucks a month in paused games. He paused games alone.

[Shane]

He paused. Here's an entire setup back there. Paused his games, and just goes on the road for like a week. I came back, the room's hot. From his mainframe. Dude. His servers.

[Joe DeRosa]

You can say you can save wherever you are.

[Shane]

Of course, I literally. The first thing I did when I got home was I just went back and ripped all the plugs out of the outlet. I was like, dude, enough of this.

[Joe DeRosa]

That's crazy.

[Shane]

I'm gonna throw all this in the pool when he gets home.

[Matt McCusker]

It's kind of. Yeah, it's pretty. It's pretty wild stuff. His electrical setup was. That was a lot of plugs. He showed.

[Shane]

He's got a moped now. That was just sitting next to the house where he's got a broken moped here. Like a shitty Vespa, just sitting out. He's like, I'm gonna fix that.

[Matt McCusker]

This is meth. This is like meth.

[Shane]

Absolutely. Never gonna fix that.

[Matt McCusker]

No, this is meth behavior, dude.

[Shane]

It is.

[Matt McCusker]

This is lots of tinkering.

[Shane]

Yeah, but he's. He doesn't exhibit meth.

[Matt McCusker]

He's not certainly any meth.

[Shane]

He does have meth tendencies. He just doesn't do any. If he was on meth, he would have disassembled the moped.

[Joe DeRosa]

Yeah, true.

[Shane]

He probably plugged in computers.

[Joe DeRosa]

Probably be a tad thinner, too.

[Matt McCusker]

True. That's rapid weight loss.

[Shane]

Yeah.

[Joe DeRosa]

And his.

[Shane]

His sleeping would not be. He sleeps more than. He's awake, for sure.

[Matt McCusker]

It's all for show. It's all for show. He's laying there like this, one eye open, just true. He's faking, waiting to get back to his plugs in his moped.

[Shane]

Fake sleep for 15 hours. Fooled them again. Yeah. Joe Rosa.

[Joe DeRosa]

What's up, dudes? Yeah, Roa. I was just thinking the other day. You haven't sung that. You haven't sung that in a while today.

[Shane]

I sang it at the beach.

[Joe DeRosa]

You did not.

[Shane]

I did. I remember singing it. Yes.

[Joe DeRosa]

All right. Because that was like, your. Your song for me. I love it, and I love it too. And I hadn't heard it in a while. If you sang at the beach, I was very drunk.

[Shane]

I sang it at the beach. We were in the kitchen. It was in the morning. I remember I was staring at seltzers when I sang it.

[Joe DeRosa]

Okay.

[Shane]

I vividly remember it.

[Joe DeRosa]

All right. I love it. I love it.

[Shane]

No one, no one really cares about me singing this right now. Everyone's probably annoyed.

[Matt McCusker]

Joe to Rosa song.

[Shane]

Yeah, that's what you're.

[Joe DeRosa]

The.

[Matt McCusker]

That was the drive back. Is that.

[Shane]

I mean, one of the all time bonehead choices.

[Joe DeRosa]

Cake. It was cake. It was cake. It was cake. Any of my meals the right.

[Matt McCusker]

Yeah.

[Joe DeRosa]

Launched right out of the gate with a KFC chicken little, three chicken tenders and a drumstick.

[Shane]

Hitting KFC right away.

[Joe DeRosa]

Fries. Yeah. About an hour in, getting ready to

[Shane]

settle in for 10 hours.

[Joe DeRosa]

Ready for this midday extra large RB sandwich, bag of cool ranch Torito.

[Shane]

Dude, you eat constantly.

[Joe DeRosa]

I do, right? Late night, taking it home. Whopper with cheese, bacon, double cheeseburger, fries. Dude, I rip. I was having the time of my life. Oh, and then a king sized bag of skittles. Somewhere in between all that, I had to tell my life. Driving home. Dude, I was just grubbing, man.

[Matt McCusker]

What was the bowel movement like after three fast foods?

[Joe DeRosa]

Completely normal.

[Matt McCusker]

No, stop.

[Shane]

Your body's adjusted.

[Joe DeRosa]

The test takes care of all things.

[Shane]

Taking tests, eating Arby's. You are the king of the road. That's awesome.

[Matt McCusker]

That's actually pretty impressive.

[Shane]

I like, I like. I mean, the way you deflected the decision making on the drive was impressive. Well, it was really impressive.

[Joe DeRosa]

As we discussed. I made a massive mistake.

[Shane]

Yes. There are direct. Direct flights from Austin to the beach.

[Joe DeRosa]

Yeah. And I did not know that because I got travel information from Brian Six.

[Shane]

Okay. You called the beast. And I know how that call went.

[Matt McCusker]

You're.

[Shane]

Dude, there's no fights out there. Exactly. You are, you idiot.

[Matt McCusker]

It's just so funny. You can get your phone and be. Are there flights from. And it'll be like, yes, there are bees.

[Shane]

Real quick.

[Joe DeRosa]

No, no, no.

[Matt McCusker]

The keeping Google and going to bees is.

[Joe DeRosa]

He's my. He's my search engine. Yeah, Beezer. It just says Beezer instead of Ask Bees.

[Shane]

Ask Bees. Yeah.

[Joe DeRosa]

How do you spell this word? Like this. You.

[Shane]

Why do you even want to know? Yeah, I don't know.

[Joe DeRosa]

He got.

[Matt McCusker]

He.

[Joe DeRosa]

The only thing he told me was the air because I didn't know where the town was. He goes, this is the airport you got to fly to. So I did go to The Internet. But then it was like, no, there's just. There's indirect. There's connecting flights.

[Matt McCusker]

Yeah.

[Joe DeRosa]

And then I found out after the

[Shane]

fact there was another airport again. But the connecting. The connecting flight argument bothers me as well.

[Joe DeRosa]

Now. I hate a connecting flight. It's brutal. I just did connecting flights last week because I had to. Because I had to go to Lafayette and then to Charleston.

[Shane]

Why didn't you drive to Lafayette?

[Joe DeRosa]

Because I had to get quicker than. Because I had to fly to Charleston and then I had to fly to New York. So. To rent a car. It's. It's.

[Shane]

Yeah, but the connecting flight in Dallas or Houston is gay. Yeah. It's crazy to drive. How long was the drive? And don't lie.

[Joe DeRosa]

12 hours.

[Shane]

Yeah, 12 hours.

[Joe DeRosa]

Like a G. That's so stupid.

[Shane]

It's less than a two hour flight, dude.

[Joe DeRosa]

I rode the shoulder.

[Shane]

An hour and 40 minute flight direct.

[Joe DeRosa]

I didn't know we got to take the direction at the table.

[Shane]

We're at the beach and he's like six me on this. I'm so pissed at him. I was like, dude, what are you talking about? It's all you. This is all you.

[Joe DeRosa]

No, I didn't know.

[Shane]

I won't get into the DM argument. I will not. I would love to get into it.

[Joe DeRosa]

I promise. I promise you. I'm glad you brought that up. I promise you I'll tap out if you promise the same. I'm very curious on a. A new party's opinion. If they agree, you're not going to

[Shane]

believe how every single person agrees.

[Joe DeRosa]

If they agree with you, I will tap out. I will not argue.

[Shane]

I'm saying 99% agree.

[Joe DeRosa]

But if they agree with me, will you tap out?

[Shane]

Can we make that agreement? I promise. Okay, Absolutely.

[Joe DeRosa]

Here. Here's the. Here's we just lay out like this. I was saying, if you respond to a girl's story on Instagram, that goes to her as a DM. And what I was saying was, yes, it's a DM, but it's not the same thing as DMing her. So in other words, Nate, hold on, hold on.

[Shane]

I'd like you to start that over and repeat exactly what you said for the record. Yes, it's a DM. So you're DMing her, but it's not DMing her.

[Joe DeRosa]

No, no, but it's.

[Shane]

Now, what world are we living in?

[Matt McCusker]

What?

[Shane]

What world are we living in?

[Joe DeRosa]

Let me just give an example. What. I mean, the difference is it's still a dm, but Nate, or Sean, you got girls. If your girl posts something funny, right? And I go, ha, ha, that's really funny to the story. And then that sends it to her as a dm.

[Shane]

Now you're friends with her already, versus

[Joe DeRosa]

if I just sent your girl.

[Shane]

Just go with the real scenario, not these hypothetical.

[Joe DeRosa]

It was a girl that was interested.

[Shane]

No, this is somebody you know.

[Joe DeRosa]

It was a.

[Shane]

If I respond to Sean's girlfriend's story, obviously I'm not sliding into her DMs, flirting with her.

[Joe DeRosa]

Right? It was. It was a girl. I was. It was a girl was definitely interested.

[Matt McCusker]

Also, this is kind of turning me on, you guys talking about DMing the room.

[Joe DeRosa]

But my question is, is there. Is there a difference between sliding into a girl's DMS versus responding to her story that. That she receives as a dm? I said, yes, there's a bit of a difference there.

[Shane]

Okay.

[Matt McCusker]

Also, knowing person, I think, is the big difference between that.

[Joe DeRosa]

I didn't know the person. Well, I knew her. I knew her because we followed each other.

[Shane]

Okay, that's it. Well, who followed who first?

[Joe DeRosa]

I followed her first.

[Shane]

Thank you.

[Joe DeRosa]

Now she followed me right back.

[Shane]

Let's go with me right back. Let's go with. Yeah. And then you send her dms, which is appropriate. I don't think that's. It's. It's wild.

[Joe DeRosa]

You did start with.

[Shane]

Okay, we can do that too, if you want. I'd love to discuss that as well. You.

[Joe DeRosa]

You back off now. You be nice.

[Shane]

You be nice.

[Matt McCusker]

There's a matter. There's a matter that's sealed.

[Shane]

All right, hold on. So this is how it starts. He shows me somebody he likes on Instagram. I say, you should talk to her. He said, ah, we're. We're talking a little. I said, you followed her first? He said, yeah. And I said, you've. You slid into a dm. I didn't slide in the dms, dude. I replied to a story. It tells you. It says, what do you think about this story? She was asking.

[Joe DeRosa]

I didn't say she was asking, but I did say. But I did say you're responding to the story is a little.

[Shane]

Responding to a story is sliding into a DM.

[Joe DeRosa]

And I disagree with that. I think sliding the DMs, I think sending a DM, like, hey, what's going on? Is very different from a DM from replying to a story.

[Shane]

What was the reply?

[Joe DeRosa]

This is funny. I don't know. It was something lit. It was something benign.

[Shane]

You have your telephone on his penis. No, I do not your telephone's in this room.

[Joe DeRosa]

No, it's not.

[Matt McCusker]

I know.

[Joe DeRosa]

Let's sit at home.

[Matt McCusker]

What. What was it?

[Shane]

Told me not to bring my phone out.

[Matt McCusker]

Was. Was he. Was the post really like a poll, like, hey, guys, what do you think?

[Joe DeRosa]

No, no, it was just. It was like a. It was like. It was like a funny story where it's like, what do you guys think of that? And I was like, ah, that's funny or whatever.

[Matt McCusker]

Right? What were your intentions? That's. Oh, you know what?

[Joe DeRosa]

I actually do remember what I said. I actually do it or remember what I said.

[Matt McCusker]

Yeah, she.

[Joe DeRosa]

I. I wrote. This is.

[Shane]

You know what his intentions are? I wrote.

[Joe DeRosa]

This is awesome.

[Shane]

Yeah, you're trying to spark up a conversation. This is awesome. This is awesome.

[Joe DeRosa]

This is righteous.

[Shane]

Joe, Joe, pretending you're not sliding into the DMs is crazy. Hold on. Why are you acting like you're not.

[Joe DeRosa]

Do you guys agree there's a difference between a story DM and a. And a direct just out of the blue? Okay, that's the only.

[Shane]

Now that's his question. My. Is regardless. Is it sliding into the dms?

[Matt McCusker]

There is a difference and it is

[Shane]

sliding into the dms.

[Joe DeRosa]

It's not as.

[Shane]

Of course.

[Joe DeRosa]

We both. We both.

[Shane]

Yeah, but all. I never said there was a difference. I said it was sliding into the dm and it is what it is.

[Joe DeRosa]

And I never said it wasn't a dm. I just said there was a difference.

[Shane]

Said it was sliding into the dm.

[Joe DeRosa]

Let's bump mics.

[Shane]

No, no, no. Come on.

[Joe DeRosa]

See, this is the problem, dude. No, it's not.

[Shane]

You.

[Joe DeRosa]

You're gonna.

[Shane]

You're trying to take a win here because this is the crazy.

[Joe DeRosa]

I'm trying to say we both were a little bit.

[Shane]

Right. You'd be. You'd settle with a draw right now. I would not say. This is unconditional surrender. I need unconditional surrounding.

[Joe DeRosa]

Truly.

[Matt McCusker]

Has anything come about the message as the. Has the message. Has the message yielded any more fruit? Have you guys. Is that.

[Joe DeRosa]

No, it was. It was a while ago and it was. It was not. It was not a recent thing. It was a while ago, but we were talking about it and I said to him. We were just. We were just talking.

[Matt McCusker]

Right? Right? Yeah. Yeah.

[Joe DeRosa]

And I was like. And then X, Y and Z.

[Shane]

Well, it was simple. I said I would never do that.

[Joe DeRosa]

Yes.

[Shane]

I said I would never slide into.

[Joe DeRosa]

Yeah, yeah.

[Shane]

I didn't slide into dms. Yes, you did. End of discussion.

[Joe DeRosa]

Now, in my defense.

[Shane]

End of discussion.

[Joe DeRosa]

You know Matt, you know as well as I do, yeah, he's coming in with an argument. He's coming in to push buttons.

[Shane]

Yeah. We're sitting there.

[Joe DeRosa]

So he starts with. He starts with, I would never do that. I would never do that.

[Shane]

Well, that's a funny thing to say immediately.

[Joe DeRosa]

What did I do? I didn't. I respond to a story.

[Shane]

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[Joe DeRosa]

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[Shane]

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[Joe DeRosa]

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[Shane]

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[Shane]

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[Matt McCusker]

Hello.

[Joe DeRosa]

It was one of those things that was like. It was so, like, such a frivolous conversation.

[Matt McCusker]

We're talking, we're talking. We're talking ancient history. Anyway.

[Shane]

Yeah. This water on the bridge, it got so. You got so defensive so fast, you could. I love that. That's like while we were hanging out at the beach. I like a good argument.

[Joe DeRosa]

I know you do.

[Shane]

It's funny.

[Joe DeRosa]

I know you do. And I'm literally there like, I just want to relax. And you're like, no, let's argue. That's how you relax.

[Shane]

Yeah, but it's not how I relax. If somebody says something silly like that, I'm not. I'm not gonna let it go.

[Joe DeRosa]

And Pope. Pope's little rad ass, dude. Pope is a rat.

[Matt McCusker]

What'd he do?

[Joe DeRosa]

Pope. Pope. The whole time. The whole time Shane's in there. He's going. He's going, darosa. You don't the shut the up. You're wrong. Right? Right. Soon as you walked away, he's like, dude, you know, Shane does this and

[Shane]

you know, rolled over on you.

[Joe DeRosa]

Immediately, dude. Immediately.

[Shane]

That's especially. He did it a few days later.

[Joe DeRosa]

What do you started?

[Shane]

He got a little beach argument going. Oh, I wasn't there. I wish I was. I raced down to the beach.

[Joe DeRosa]

That was the day I wasn't there. What was.

[Shane]

As soon as I found out about the beach argument.

[Matt McCusker]

What was.

[Shane]

What was my sun shirt on? And I ran down what was Pope speech argument that you shouldn't give college football players college degrees because they're useless. He was like, I only care about real football. Pro football.

[Matt McCusker]

Justin Bay's ankles fully buried in the sand.

[Joe DeRosa]

Dude, these things. Can we talk about those things that Tommy drank at the beach?

[Shane]

Oh, yeah.

[Matt McCusker]

Oh, the buzz ball looking things.

[Joe DeRosa]

It was the worst thing I've literally ever tasted in my life. And he said that they were delicious. It was great. And drank not one, but four of them. Yeah, they were like 85.

[Shane]

They were rough.

[Matt McCusker]

Those things were rough.

[Joe DeRosa]

Yeah.

[Shane]

Pope put on a clinic our first night.

[Joe DeRosa]

Can we discuss night?

[Shane]

We can't.

[Joe DeRosa]

No.

[Shane]

He asked us not to, but all right. He was mid fucking ranking Seltzer sitting out by the with the three of us, me, Pope and Derosa chairs looking at the full moon.

[Joe DeRosa]

Beautiful.

[Shane]

So beautiful.

[Joe DeRosa]

Beautiful. So serene. It was quiet. You heard the ocean sitting there going.

[Shane]

I'll tell you, it goes high noons. Okay, neutrals.

[Joe DeRosa]

He put Truly's first.

[Shane]

Truly.

[Matt McCusker]

No, he didn't put Truly's first.

[Joe DeRosa]

He put Truly.

[Matt McCusker]

He wasn't in his right mind.

[Shane]

No one's asking him for a ranking.

[Joe DeRosa]

No one even.

[Shane]

No, he's. He's doing this ranking ranking by himself, unprovoked.

[Matt McCusker]

He's looking at the heavenly bodies and he's going.

[Shane]

He's going, what are the rankings of

[Matt McCusker]

the goddamn high noons are so good.

[Joe DeRosa]

He goes, truly Surfside High Newton.

[Shane]

And I go, yeah.

[Joe DeRosa]

Wait, True. Because I thought I was like, I must be misremembering what Truly is.

[Matt McCusker]

He was doing a countdown, maybe.

[Joe DeRosa]

Yeah. No, no, he was saying they were there. He was saying, Truly, it might be

[Matt McCusker]

like a Copernican revolution.

[Shane]

It was.

[Matt McCusker]

It could have been the Copernican revolution

[Shane]

burned him at the stage

[Matt McCusker]

stars. And he said, hold on a second. I have an idea. I think Truly is the best seltzer.

[Joe DeRosa]

He's standing at the sink. He's just standing at the sink in the house. He just goes, ah, Christ. Pulls up.

[Shane]

That was the best.

[Joe DeRosa]

Yeah, he did. I do a shot with him. We're in the kitchen.

[Shane]

It's incredible.

[Joe DeRosa]

We're in the kitchen. I go, tommy, let's do a shot. He goes, yeah, yeah. Aggressive for no reason. Yeah, we're gonna do a shot. Yeah. I'm like, all right, it was my idea.

[Matt McCusker]

He's just peer pressuring you now, dude.

[Joe DeRosa]

I pour a shot. He pours one.

[Matt McCusker]

It's.

[Joe DeRosa]

Dude, it is like. It is a gulp. I go, brought some massive shot. He goes, yeah, yeah, whatever, man. Because I'm a fucking man. We see him. He takes. He takes a fucking Truly or whatever it is, pours it in a glass, dumps vodka on top of it.

[Shane]

He goes, holy shit, dude. He put vodka in there. What's he called? A splitter.

[Joe DeRosa]

Yeah. He goes. He goes, yeah, it's a cutter. He goes. It cuts it. He goes like this. I swear to God. He takes the shot, he bangs it, takes a sip of the thing, and he goes, ah, Jesus Christ. Grabs a third drink, a Surfside from here, and it just starts.

[Shane]

We were like four different drinks in. I don't even think he took a breath.

[Matt McCusker]

Yeah.

[Shane]

Jesus Christ.

[Matt McCusker]

How's this chase, dude?

[Joe DeRosa]

We go to bed, we're all just like, I'm hammered. I gotta go to bed. Going in my room. He comes running out of his room like, what are you doing? He goes, I'm gonna go get a piece of pizza and have some vodka.

[Shane]

At one point, it just. Hammered. What? They're both watching intervention.

[Matt McCusker]

I know.

[Shane]

Look at these losers.

[Matt McCusker]

I do like watching them. At the end of the day, just both chill. Yeah, just watch like, A and E for a little bit, dude.

[Joe DeRosa]

My last day there, I went on an adventure with Beezer. Dude, we had the. Oh, yeah, we had the best time, man.

[Shane]

Lovers for sure. Major landlords.

[Matt McCusker]

These are trying to change the narrative.

[Shane]

He did.

[Matt McCusker]

He was like Poseidon out there, dude. He went out. He went out so far.

[Shane]

It was like, dude, is it true?

[Matt McCusker]

You can't.

[Shane]

What the you talking about? Fine.

[Matt McCusker]

See me swim here also, too. Like, we would say it all the time. And then out of. He went. He came in unannounced. And all of a sudden I turned, I was like, is that Beezer? He just. He went out like a Hundred yards out in the ocean, was just splashing around.

[Joe DeRosa]

You guys went down the day he got there and I was like, I'm just gonna hang back. I'll meet up with Bees. We'll come down. I was waiting for him. I had a couple fucking surfsides, whatever the fuck they're called. While I was waiting for him. He showed up. He starts cracking them. We start banging shots. He's like, the beach is gay, dude. Let's go to the bar.

[Matt McCusker]

He hates the beach.

[Joe DeRosa]

He's like, all right. We went to this bar, dude. We were in this bar.

[Matt McCusker]

So funny to FL to the beach all day. Like, beach is gay as hell.

[Joe DeRosa]

We're in this bar, just. We start swaying. I'm like, dude. I go like, I can't tell this. Never mind. I can't tell the story.

[Matt McCusker]

It's fine.

[Joe DeRosa]

I don't think. Or can I?

[Shane]

It's probably about you guys doing drugs or something.

[Joe DeRosa]

Yeah, yeah. It's about Addies.

[Shane]

Yeah, you guys can talk about Addies, right?

[Matt McCusker]

She has a legal prescription, dude.

[Joe DeRosa]

Yeah, yeah.

[Shane]

You guys are.

[Joe DeRosa]

So we took. We popped a 5 milli before we left the house. We get to this bar, we're like fucked up in this bar. Beezer gets two orders of. What's that shrimp called? Like bing, ping, ping, pow. Shrimp.

[Matt McCusker]

Bang bang.

[Joe DeRosa]

Huh?

[Matt McCusker]

Was it bang bang Shrimp?

[Joe DeRosa]

Yeah, Bang bang shrimp. He gets two orders of it. He calls us the first one and they bring another one. He's like, that shit's good, dude. Eats a whole other order of it. I'm like, bro, I'm flying on Addie's right now. I don't even know how you're eating right. I go in the bathroom. He's like, let's go to this other bar. I go in the bathroom. It's going to be a 25 minute drive to this other bar. I go in the bathroom. I'm swaying again. I take another 5 milli to try to wake up. I walk out of the bathroom, I go, bees. I had to take another fiver. He goes, bro, I just gave you a 10. I go, no, you didn't. He goes, yes, you did. You just took it. And I was like, oh, shit. Well, we're going to be in for a run.

[Matt McCusker]

There's probably no shrimp. You guys are probably just munching Adderall.

[Shane]

These are good.

[Joe DeRosa]

Went to the next bar.

[Matt McCusker]

You forgot. You took the chopping it.

[Joe DeRosa]

I forgot. Just chopping it up with a 62 year old lady.

[Shane]

Called you at the bar. We called you when we got Back from the beach. You were still at the bar. You're like, I'm coming back, man. I was like, oh, my God, Derosa, you dirt bag. Don't come back. Oh, that was a tough one when you came back.

[Matt McCusker]

Oh, dude.

[Shane]

That one we'll keep to ourselves.

[Matt McCusker]

Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

[Joe DeRosa]

It was a little messy.

[Shane]

Say I entered his room unannounced.

[Matt McCusker]

I don't give a. I was just high tea.

[Joe DeRosa]

I went up to the room to whack one out.

[Shane]

You were in your room for three hours, dude. You jacked up, dude.

[Matt McCusker]

That's understandable. That, you know, balance the Adderall. Yeah, yeah.

[Joe DeRosa]

Shane just opens the door. I'm like, what are you doing, dude? Get out of here. I was so calm.

[Shane]

She was extremely calm.

[Matt McCusker]

He was stim fapping.

[Shane]

He was completely stim fat.

[Matt McCusker]

Completely stim fat.

[Shane]

And then he got actual stim fat.

[Matt McCusker]

Yeah, it was.

[Joe DeRosa]

Yeah. I just go, get out of here, dude. He's like, all right, close the door. He peeks his head back. He goes, I won't tell anybody, dude. Okay, thanks. Immediately goes downstairs, tells everybody. I mean, just what a scumbag, dude.

[Shane]

I'm a scumbag.

[Joe DeRosa]

He's stim fucked my own room.

[Shane]

You stim fapped for three hours.

[Joe DeRosa]

I was in the privacy of my own room.

[Matt McCusker]

And I was at his sacred abode. You're in your own.

[Shane]

I knocked first.

[Joe DeRosa]

Yeah. And I was like, beat it. Come in.

[Shane]

I gave you enough time to cover up. Get out. I knocked long enough.

[Joe DeRosa]

I didn't think you were just gonna walk in, man.

[Shane]

Yeah, I figured you'd lock it if you had stem fabin.

[Joe DeRosa]

There's no lock on the door.

[Matt McCusker]

I wanted to play catch with you on the beach. You're like, get the out of my room.

[Shane]

Yeah. I wanted to hang out.

[Joe DeRosa]

I came back down.

[Matt McCusker]

You did.

[Joe DeRosa]

I did what I had to do.

[Matt McCusker]

Bravely, too. That's. That's brave. I would have. Might have. I'm gonna curled up.

[Shane]

Like, I might have hit the drive immediately.

[Joe DeRosa]

What's stim fapping?

[Shane]

Me. So you take stim and jack.

[Matt McCusker]

It's kind of like meth sex, but it's just more private. Obviously. It's more personal.

[Joe DeRosa]

Yeah, I get. I get. If I pop an addie or two, I get. I get kind of horned up.

[Matt McCusker]

Yeah, that's the thing. People. Yeah, people get horned up.

[Joe DeRosa]

Yeah. God knows what I said to the 62 year old woman. I was probably like, you want to get married, babe? You're beautiful.

[Shane]

I can take you out of here. I can save You.

[Joe DeRosa]

I could save you from all this.

[Shane]

We're going to Arby's. It's gonna be a 15 hours.

[Joe DeRosa]

She's like, what are you talking about? I'm rich. Yeah. The. It was fun trip, man.

[Matt McCusker]

That's a great beach. That beach is a truly a gem.

[Shane]

Yeah.

[Joe DeRosa]

Oh, yeah.

[Matt McCusker]

Airport's having trouble, too, because it's been. They're like travelers and vacationers have doubled in one year. So it's like a million people now. They had 2 million. Something like that. 2 million people this season, so.

[Joe DeRosa]

Really?

[Matt McCusker]

Yeah. Bees wasn't completely lying. That airport is kind of a cluster.

[Shane]

Oh, for sure.

[Matt McCusker]

That airport was packed. Oh, my God, dude.

[Joe DeRosa]

Yeah.

[Matt McCusker]

Getting in. I had to rent a car. They do the. I didn't know car rental places still did this where, like, you go to the desk and they just, like, wait. They hand you a key. Usually you just get to go to the thing and be like, hey, I. They. Yeah, just go get your car and there's a key in it. But they, like, had to go fish out a key and give you. It took. I had four people ahead of me, and it took. I sort of got like, 35 minutes.

[Joe DeRosa]

That sucks. That's the problem. That's like, when you go to Key west, it's the best time. But the only part that sucks is. And they've got a new airport, but even their new airport is still, you know.

[Matt McCusker]

Yeah.

[Joe DeRosa]

It's not an international airport also. So you get like. Or maybe it is, but you know what I mean? It's small. But my point is, is like, those trips are the kind of places where at the end of the week, you're like, I have to get the home. I. I was like, sunstroked. I've been drinking every day.

[Matt McCusker]

Yeah.

[Joe DeRosa]

And you go into one of those airports and you're like, God damn it, man. This sucks right now.

[Matt McCusker]

The elderly are brutal at airport.

[Joe DeRosa]

Oh, yeah.

[Shane]

Yeah.

[Matt McCusker]

They get up like they're there. They get there four hours before the flight, and then as soon as, like, it's like, hey, we're gonna start boarding soon. They all get up with their stained pants and all block. It's like, dude, get the out of the way.

[Joe DeRosa]

Yeah.

[Matt McCusker]

They get really ag.

[Shane]

Those vac. The vacation spots. All families. So the airport was just packed with kids screaming and shit. Nightmare.

[Matt McCusker]

Yeah.

[Shane]

The Internet didn't work. It was tough when I'm.

[Joe DeRosa]

When I'm in an airport and a full. Like when you're, like, approaching the. You know, like. Like. Like, let's say you're both Approaching the security thing where the weird to check your idea or whatever. At the same time. If I'm approaching the same time as a family and the family takes the lead in I, I, dude, I get audible. I'll literally be like,

[Matt McCusker]

yeah, you should.

[Joe DeRosa]

I'm like, you, dude, it's gonna take

[Matt McCusker]

forever for them to all get through, dude.

[Joe DeRosa]

Some dad trying to fit the stroller through the security. I saw a guy try to put it through the X ray machine once, bro. I, I did. I was like, I. I literally start being like, bro,

[Shane]

there's a metal detector.

[Joe DeRosa]

Yeah, it's cr. I can't, dude. I can't with that.

[Matt McCusker]

Sometimes they try to force you to put it through the X ray too, which is people there, like, put it through. Like, it's not going to fit. They're like, you have to put it through. And you do it. It breaks. And they're just like, I'm sorry. Like, what the. Yeah, they should let you go ahead, man. If it's. If you're like a family of four and there's one person, it's like, please, because it's going to take forever to get all that up. Your kids are like crying and you're like, hold on. Get over. It takes. It takes all day.

[Joe DeRosa]

There was a dude in front of me, so I was flying out of JFK and I was on Delta. So I was. I went to the Delta Lounge, but they have another one called the Delta one, which.

[Shane]

You're not allowed in there.

[Joe DeRosa]

No, I'm not. Yeah, you're right. It's for, I know, international or something.

[Shane]

It's like LA and international.

[Joe DeRosa]

Okay. So I just didn't know what it was. So I went in and I was just like, I don't know if I can get in here or not, but I'm just gonna see what it is. There was a dude in front of me. The lady's like, yeah, sir, you don't have access to here. And he's like, but I'm flying to Mexico. And she's like, yeah, Mexico doesn't count. And he's like, but it says right here international. And she goes, yeah, but it doesn't count. He goes, but I'm flying to Mexico. And she goes, I know, Mexico and Canada don't count. You. You have to be international. And he did. I swear to God. He goes, turns. But it says international, dude. I. As loud as I could, I went like that. I did the. I did the. And then I went.

[Matt McCusker]

You went, oh, yeah.

[Shane]

I went, hit him with all the Black noises like,

[Joe DeRosa]

dude didn't even flinch. The psycho didn't even flinch.

[Matt McCusker]

What?

[Joe DeRosa]

And then finally he leaves. And I go, miss, am I able to get in here? She goes, where are you going? I go, austin. She goes, no, it's international. I go, okay. And then I turned and I go. See how fast I accepted it. And she goes, thank you. Yeah. And I was like, yeah, that job sucks.

[Matt McCusker]

Yeah.

[Shane]

But I could see you could be the guy 100. Could be that other guy going, but it says international.

[Joe DeRosa]

Yeah.

[Shane]

Am I. Am I crazy or is Mexico part of America?

[Joe DeRosa]

I'm a.

[Shane]

What are we talking about?

[Joe DeRosa]

I'm a redeemed man, saying that's who I was.

[Matt McCusker]

Yeah.

[Joe DeRosa]

And now I fight the crime.

[Matt McCusker]

Look how far I've gone.

[Shane]

But you slid into the girls. Dms replying to a story of sliding into the dm.

[Matt McCusker]

They get aggressive with that, though.

[Shane]

First. First DM encounter. That's literally textbook sliding.

[Joe DeRosa]

You take it easy now.

[Shane]

I'm too.

[Joe DeRosa]

Wait. Speaking of. Speaking of arguments, Let me hear it. I wanna. I was not present for this, but I would love to reopen this can of worms.

[Shane]

Metallica, you too.

[Joe DeRosa]

Defended. You too.

[Matt McCusker]

It was. Okay, Here was the real argument. It was November Rain versus Enter Sandman. I was really arguing Guns N' Roses were better than Metallica. And I got so high on my horse, I was like, dude, you two's better than Metallica.

[Shane]

I think it might have started you two Metallica, but you were not involved in that.

[Matt McCusker]

I don't know.

[Shane]

And then you got involved in.

[Matt McCusker]

I think I started really, too. Yeah. Because I remember I remembered it being kind of like a. I went on a very confident branch. Yeah, you two is better than Metallica.

[Joe DeRosa]

But you're. It was weird when you were explaining to me the argument. You. You sounded like you're team Metallica because you go, dude, they said that the Edge was better than Kirk Hammett. And I was like, there's no.

[Matt McCusker]

That was Billy. You're gonna be mistaken. Oh, Billy was saying that Billy was Metallica.

[Joe DeRosa]

Oh, okay.

[Matt McCusker]

Billy and I. I threw the. I didn't know much about the. I don't know much about YouTube, but I didn't. I threw Edge out there. I'm like, he's probably. Nasty guitar. I pulled up a.

[Joe DeRosa]

It's terrible.

[Matt McCusker]

Compilation of, like, his greatest solos. I was like, God damn, it sucked.

[Joe DeRosa]

It's terrible. It's terrible. You two's got some great song. I mean, that's an argument, but against Metallica.

[Matt McCusker]

I don't think Metallica is that Good.

[Joe DeRosa]

I'll put metallic over gnr. I love.

[Matt McCusker]

You're wearing all black. You're biased. You're a Lord of Metal.

[Shane]

It's true.

[Joe DeRosa]

Bono wears all black. Hollyware is the edge. Edge is wearing a black ski hat in, like, July.

[Matt McCusker]

Yeah, true.

[Joe DeRosa]

The. I'll put Metallica over. Over gnr.

[Shane]

That was. You missed a good argument. That one got heated. It was fun.

[Matt McCusker]

That was. That was.

[Shane]

And then heard everyone screaming downstairs.

[Matt McCusker]

It was. It was awesome.

[Joe DeRosa]

O' Connor get.

[Shane]

O' Connor was great. He was. He was high. Not by himself. He started the Prince argument. It's just alone. No one was even talking. He would just be like, weezer better than Prince. And we'd be like, who the are you talking to?

[Matt McCusker]

That arguing turned o' Connor homeless for, like, two hours. He was just like. He started naming just random bands from the 90s because he looked up. He was like, There's 2, 000 bands better than Prince. Then he just looked up bands from the 2000s, thinking he had a list of 2000 better bands.

[Shane]

He just looked at the top bands of the 2000s on Wikipedia and. And named him.

[Joe DeRosa]

Conor is batshit.

[Shane]

He is batshit, dude.

[Joe DeRosa]

Oh, Conor's batshit. I. I made fun of him about this on Stuff Island. This is a real argument he made to us. We were in Westchester. We were. So I forget the bar we're at. But anyway, who's. Me, Shane? Jamie Lynn Siegler.

[Shane]

Oh, this is a great argument, o'.

[Joe DeRosa]

Connor.

[Shane]

This is a great.

[Joe DeRosa]

Conor is trash. This is the night O' Connor ordered McDonald's twice in a row because he forgot and had the same order on his steps twice.

[Shane]

We were at Square Bar.

[Joe DeRosa]

Yeah.

[Shane]

He lived across the street.

[Joe DeRosa]

Yeah. And O' Connor goes.

[Shane]

He would leave and get McDonald's off

[Joe DeRosa]

his step, flat out. O' Connor goes, name any movie. I can defend it. No reason.

[Matt McCusker]

Why.

[Joe DeRosa]

No reason, right? I go, any movie? He goes, yeah. I go, young Einstein. He goes, that ain't a movie. I go, yes, it is. He goes, it's not a real movie, dude. I start pulling it up. I'm showing it to him, and he's going, that's horseshit. And then just walks out.

[Shane]

He had a good one that night. I forget exactly what it was. He was trying to name a song, I think. And he was like, you know the song Boom Boom Clap? You guys know that, right?

[Matt McCusker]

We're like, yeah, of course.

[Shane]

He's like, I was thinking of a different song, saying, we will rock you this.

[Matt McCusker]

Him shouting over. I remember I started that Argument kind of fanning the flames, like, laughing. Then I. I instantly just got pulled into it. Next thing I know, I was like, what the fuck are you talking about, dude?

[Joe DeRosa]

We were. We were drunk in Mitzi's one night, and we started talking about Star Wars. And he's like, it all sucks, except Andor. And I was like, I know you love Andor. It's fine, man. Whatever. And then we start talking about the prequels. And he goes, they were dog shit. He goes, they were dog shit. I go, revenge of the Sith rips, dude. He goes, it's fucking sucks. He goes. I go, it's better than Return of the Jedi. He goes, return of the Jedi is a fucking masterpiece, right? I go, the Ewoks blow. He goes, the Ewoks fucking rules, dude. Right? It's my favorite o' Connor line of all time. I go, they don't rule. And it was supposed to be a plan of Wookies, and that would have been so much fucking cooler to make those Wookies. Yeah. Fight the fucking Empire. And that's why they did it in. In Revenge of the Sith. And he just kind of just goes, the Wookies are a embarrassment.

[Shane]

Dead ass. Totally dead serious.

[Joe DeRosa]

Dead serious.

[Shane]

Dead serious. So serious. Are embarrassment. He would literally be, like, despondent. He'd be like, the Wookies are a embarrassment.

[Joe DeRosa]

Yeah.

[Matt McCusker]

So triggered.

[Shane]

I get really upset, and then I'm not paying attention. Like, what are you upset about, dude? He's like, wookies, dude. You need to chill. Whatever's going on.

[Matt McCusker]

Holy.

[Joe DeRosa]

Dude, it's so funny, man.

[Shane]

Yeah. You love a good argument.

[Joe DeRosa]

I love it.

[Shane]

Love a good argument.

[Joe DeRosa]

I love it.

[Shane]

You just don't like being the one who's screaming about Wookies.

[Joe DeRosa]

I. I love a good argument, but I do get. I do get. Damn, dude. I'm crying from that. Holy. Okay. It's so funny. I'm as much of a lunatic as o', Connor, but. But. But in a slightly different emotional way, you got.

[Shane]

You were quick to get defensive. It was you, me, and Tommy. I had the first beat. You got very defensive, and you're like, I know what you're doing. You're gonna start. You're all gonna gang up on me. You're gonna do. It was like, Joe just.

[Joe DeRosa]

Well, Blizz had been in the thread all day being like, you, you piece of.

[Matt McCusker]

I really thought someone else had his phone. I was like, there's no way. Yeah.

[Shane]

It was uncharacteristic of the blizzard, this

[Joe DeRosa]

bliss coming at me.

[Shane]

I Was in the group text was just like the rest of the piece of JoJo dies.

[Matt McCusker]

It was brutal.

[Joe DeRosa]

Yeah.

[Shane]

Joe was on the beach. Like, dude, I know he's joking around but like that's like weird, dude. I'm gonna like talk to him tomorrow.

[Joe DeRosa]

It was kind of weird.

[Matt McCusker]

I mean it was funny.

[Joe DeRosa]

And then bees started coming in at me. And then you were coming at me.

[Shane]

I wasn't coming at you.

[Joe DeRosa]

The second Tommy was like, yeah, Joe, change. Right. I was like this everybody right now.

[Matt McCusker]

And that was. You're saying that was just the group chat before even go going there the

[Joe DeRosa]

night before it started with bees called me Bera. And that just rubbed me the wrong.

[Shane]

I think there's a tropical storm that was gonna hither. But if you get mad at get calling. Getting called Bera. You're getting called Bertha.

[Joe DeRosa]

No, no, no. I know, I know, I know it wasn't. I wasn't mad at. At him calling me Bertha. I was mad that I. I made a joke that I was trying to be funny with the group where I said. I said I just drove. I go. I Woke up at 4amI started driving at 6, at 7pm I just got to the house and Shane and Tommy are asleep. This is super fun. It was just a joke. God damn it. And then bees goes. I just walked past a homeless guy spray shitting against the wall. Why don't you fucking calm down, Bertha? And I was like, what the fuck? Trying to like be funny. It's just funny that I got here and they're asleep. Sleep.

[Matt McCusker]

Like it was. That made me chuckle. I saw that. I'm like, that's really funny to drive 13 hours.

[Joe DeRosa]

Could he use the Haha? Could he use the Haha? Could he use some support in the thread, bro?

[Shane]

Yeah, dude.

[Joe DeRosa]

I'm out there spinning and then. And then Blizz starts just being like, you piece of up, you die. What the is going on, dude?

[Matt McCusker]

That's. Yeah, that really threw me off. I was like, what is. What did I do?

[Shane]

Yeah, it was very odd that Blizz was fired up.

[Joe DeRosa]

He's usually Blizz and I as privately as a joke to each like we, you know, we send these texts back and forth. But he started going hard in the thread and I was like, I know it's Blizz. I mean he's. I love Blizz, but there's a little

[Shane]

out of not like him. Yeah, it's kind of like weird. He's. Yeah.

[Joe DeRosa]

Did he ever show up?

[Shane]

No.

[Joe DeRosa]

He never came.

[Shane]

No. I think he thought it was the next week. He might be there.

[Joe DeRosa]

I didn't. He wasn't at. In Charleston either either.

[Shane]

No, I think he was in New York.

[Joe DeRosa]

I haven't seen him in a minute. He's usually at all the stuff.

[Matt McCusker]

Yeah.

[Joe DeRosa]

Anyway. Yeah, we.

[Shane]

This episode is brought to you by Rocket Money. Rocket Money. Matt, what were you finally able to save for thanks to Rocky Money? Automatic savings Vacation bowl.

[Matt McCusker]

Can I. Can I tell you something? Actually, I had a surprise charge story. Really crazy surprise charge.

[Shane]

Those. Those lying cam girls.

[Matt McCusker]

No, actually it's funny enough they had nothing to do with that. I was going through my whatchamac have a joint credit card with my wife and we're going over the monthly charges and it was like a shock. They almost. Someone had I think frauded us. And I had a charge for the Bangkok massage down by the airport.

[Shane]

Sons of.

[Matt McCusker]

Yeah, it was $160.

[Joe DeRosa]

That's.

[Shane]

I mean. And also that's a tough one for you to have to. I know that was not me.

[Matt McCusker]

I said, babe, what the hell?

[Shane]

I'm so taking off.

[Matt McCusker]

So surprised by this. This is Frau someone. This is fraudulent. Suspicious activity.

[Shane]

Rocket Money involved. Rocket Money is a personal finance app that helps find and cancel unwanted subscriptions, monitors your spending and helps lower your bills so you can grow your savings.

[Matt McCusker]

Guys, let Rocket Money help you reach your financial goals faster. [e-mail] MSSP that's RockingMoney.com me this episode is brought to you by Tovas. Lately, I've been getting more into boots. There's something about wearing a good pair that just changes how you carry yourself. You become more confident. At least that's how I feel when I put on my TAs. They're super comfortable right out of the box. No break in period needed. I've used them for all kinds of plans. Weddings, barbecues, concerts, you name it. Their western boots and sandals are handcrafted with premium leather and perfect for hot weather, too. If you got a to Cova's store near you, definitely stop by. Whether it's your first pair or your 50th, you'll find your new favorites. Right now, get 10% off of tocovas.com matandshane when you sign up for email and texts, that's 10% off. @t e c o v a s.com matandshane c site for details to Cova's. Point your toes west. All right, what you got? What you got, Sean? We got the Noctis on Tuesday, first and third Tuesday of every month. And I'll be in Raleigh and Charleston at the end of August. And then I'll be in Seattle, in Portland September 10 and then Portland September.

[Shane]

You know, I like you to be in front of the camera.

[Matt McCusker]

Oh, yeah, okay.

[Joe DeRosa]

Sorry.

[Shane]

You know that.

[Matt McCusker]

I know.

[Shane]

And you wanted to stay.

[Matt McCusker]

Trying to see the product.

[Shane]

You want to be asked on camera?

[Matt McCusker]

Camera.

[Shane]

You're super.

[Matt McCusker]

I didn't want to be rude, you

[Shane]

know, didn't want to be rude and intrude. You wanted to be invited, that's fine. Go ahead.

[Matt McCusker]

Well, I appreciate you guys. I'll be in Raleigh, Charleston, Seattle and Portland. Please join me, Sean gardini.com I'd really like to see you there.

[Joe DeRosa]

Thank you.

[Matt McCusker]

Thank you, guys. Yeah, guys, also August 13th and 14th, this very weekend, I'll be in Spokane Comedy or Spokane Comedy Club. Spokane, Washington, Portland, then Boston and then Warlocks, Michigan, Milwaukee. Please go to Matt McCusker.com. thank you.

[Shane]

You. I have no shows. Nice.

[Matt McCusker]

So what's going on with you, man? What are you up to?

[Joe DeRosa]

Yeah, special came out. Netflix.

[Matt McCusker]

Rocking.

[Joe DeRosa]

I never promised you Rose Garden. Last time I was here was the plug when it came out on YouTube.

[Matt McCusker]

Yeah.

[Joe DeRosa]

And then a year later, Netflix picked it up. So it, it's, it's out now.

[Matt McCusker]

I'm always mystified how, like, these companies work. I remember some company was like, we want to re put your YouTube special on our YouTube page for free. And I was like, okay, absolutely not. Well, they always like, go ahead, I guess, if you want to do it. I don't. You know, then people would watch and be like, why the is this on this channel now? And I'm like, I don't know either. I don't know. It's a business thing. I don't understand how business works now.

[Joe DeRosa]

Dude, it's wild. Like, I, I, I work with these guys that help me with my YouTube and they're, they're really, they're called Wildline. They're really great. But one of the services they'll provide if you want them to, is they'll go out and find all of your clips.

[Shane]

Hey, hummingbird. Like, oh, look at that hummingbird. That's.

[Matt McCusker]

Sorry, dude, that's.

[Joe DeRosa]

I missed.

[Matt McCusker]

Right behind you.

[Shane]

Hummingbirds. Better than your fucking YouTube channel.

[Matt McCusker]

Hummingbirds are fucking sick.

[Shane]

Hummingbirds.

[Joe DeRosa]

Yeah.

[Matt McCusker]

Yeah.

[Joe DeRosa]

But they'll go out and find clips of like, of you or you, you know, from your pod or whatever that other people just post, and they'll redirect the monetization back to you because there's clips out there. Like, people just post Clips of your pod. And they have millions of views on their channel. Channel, which.

[Shane]

Yeah, me and Matt have never been too good at monetizing that.

[Joe DeRosa]

It's hard.

[Matt McCusker]

It's just channels that monetize.

[Joe DeRosa]

There's a lot to.

[Matt McCusker]

That was a decision 10 years ago. We're like that.

[Shane]

Yeah. We'll never monetize.

[Matt McCusker]

We don't monetize this. This channel.

[Joe DeRosa]

I mean, it probably does. I was. I was incorrect what I said to you. I think if you don't monetize, it won't show ads. Yeah.

[Shane]

That's why I said no. So on my special, they were like, do you want to monetize it? I was like, it means there's gonna be ads in the middle of the special. Metal know.

[Matt McCusker]

Yeah. So that's cool, though. YouTube doesn't show ads if it's not monetized.

[Joe DeRosa]

I don't think I monetized it because my cousin Jeff executive produced it and he funded it.

[Matt McCusker]

Yeah.

[Joe DeRosa]

Like, I want to make Jeff his money for sure, you know, so. But. But yeah. But anyway, that's. That's what's going on, man.

[Matt McCusker]

You ever get into the science of, like, thumbnail engineering where they'll do a. There's guys that'll do a thing where, like, they'll. They'll put a thumbnail out and then they'll gate. They'll put like, three different ones and test them, so changing all the time, whatever one gets the most. They, like, swap that out after the facts. Does that do they really?

[Shane]

Yeah, like, pretty wild, the shows. They'll, like, cycle thumbnails.

[Matt McCusker]

Yeah.

[Shane]

See who clicks on what.

[Joe DeRosa]

Yeah, they. The. The. My YouTube guys do that with my podcast. They have three thumbnails and three titles, and they A B them and.

[Matt McCusker]

Yeah.

[Joe DeRosa]

There's so much. It's kind of annoying with. With all this because it's like, it's. It's hard enough that we all have to, like, now do this other stuff that we. That didn't even fucking exist when we started doing comedy, let alone, like, we had an idea of it. You know what I mean? So it's like. Like, we're all doing it now. We're all playing ball. But now there's, like, all of these sub elements.

[Shane]

I think these other people are just making shit up so that they have jobs. It could be your thumbnail. I got you an extra 400 views. That'll be five grand.

[Joe DeRosa]

I mean, have you ever looked at YouTube Studio? It's like, the analytics are. It's crazy.

[Matt McCusker]

Spaceship. Dude.

[Joe DeRosa]

Dude. Yeah. You have to learn. It's like. It's like war.

[Shane]

It's like never seen it.

[Joe DeRosa]

War room reports, dude, you don't even

[Matt McCusker]

want to look at that stuff. Dude. You look at YouTube analytics and they're like, average watch time. People stopped after one minute. You're like, yeah, great. That's nice. You're like thousands of people looked at. How long are they watching? Two minutes on average. Like it's a 45 minute thing. That's great, right? Yeah, it's good to know.

[Joe DeRosa]

Yeah. Yeah. I try. I try to have some familiarity with it because I'm. I'm just trying to look at it like the way you'd look at television or something. You're like, well, this works in a certain way and. And whatever. So, yeah, I want to have some understanding of it. And I also want to understand why when I. When money comes in, I understand why that money is coming in versus just.

[Shane]

But you don't understand anything.

[Joe DeRosa]

Yeah.

[Matt McCusker]

You're a businessman. You're. You're a businessman, man.

[Joe DeRosa]

Not really.

[Matt McCusker]

What.

[Joe DeRosa]

What do you. Are you referring to the hoagie shop? I used to.

[Matt McCusker]

Yeah, the Hoggies.

[Joe DeRosa]

Well, that's. I'm out of the hoagie shop. Still no more Joey Roses. There's.

[Shane]

You made a good hoagie at the beach.

[Joe DeRosa]

I made a good hoagie.

[Shane]

You still have it.

[Joe DeRosa]

I still have it. I still have it, but who knows what the future holds?

[Matt McCusker]

Maybe I wasn't even saying that a bad way. I'm like, you have to be pretty savvy today.

[Joe DeRosa]

No, no, no, I know, I know you weren't. I was saying I'm not a great business.

[Matt McCusker]

You're out. Over. Really?

[Joe DeRosa]

Yeah.

[Matt McCusker]

What was it like owning a hoagie shop?

[Joe DeRosa]

It's.

[Shane]

You were in there getting wasted. You were acting like you fell down.

[Matt McCusker]

You're like a Greek guy out front of your pizza.

[Shane]

You're getting carried out of your own hoagie shop. It was pathetic. I went down there. I saw you getting tossed out.

[Joe DeRosa]

I can't believe how few times you and I drank in there. That's crazy.

[Shane]

I was in Austin.

[Joe DeRosa]

Now you were in New York.

[Shane]

When did you open it?

[Joe DeRosa]

20. 20 it. Like, I'm actually. Yeah.

[Shane]

That the whole time I was in New York, I didn't. I didn't go anywhere. When I lived in New York, I did never go anywhere.

[Joe DeRosa]

I know. It was. You'd always be in Philly all the time. You were doing Gillian Kees and all that stuff. But like, I. I don't say it to give you, like, came down. I just mean, I can't believe we didn't just get wasted in there for free all the time. Yeah. Did I? I did not. Not because of anything related to my shop. I just did not enjoy the experience of what it was to operate a business like that in New York City. I think I could have very much enjoyed it elsewhere. I did not enjoy it in New York. New York is a very, very hard place to operate, is a very hard place to survive it. And. And it was very, very stressful for me.

[Matt McCusker]

Yeah. I heard. Just starting, like, getting your license to start a shop like that is, like, really, really, really difficult.

[Joe DeRosa]

It's funny. All that was easy, which is. This is. I don't want to get conspiracy. Conspiracy theory here, whatever. But I felt like New York because of COVID made all of the red tape extraordinarily easy.

[Matt McCusker]

Oh, right, right.

[Joe DeRosa]

And then once you were in and Covid ended and all. Everything changed, then it was like, all right, guys, now we're going to be New York about everything again.

[Matt McCusker]

Yeah.

[Shane]

Yeah.

[Joe DeRosa]

So rent was cheaper because of COVID The red tape was easier. The liquor board hearings, all these things were so much more amicable because people desperately. Everybody was leaving New York City. They gave, oh, put out outdoor seating and spend all this money on it because it's going to be a new part of New York City and all this bullshit. And then Covid ended and. And every landlord in the city was like, your rent's going back up.

[Matt McCusker]

Yeah.

[Joe DeRosa]

City's like, hey, get this outdoor out of here.

[Matt McCusker]

Yeah.

[Joe DeRosa]

You got to be able to hide it. You can't have it out here all the. And it was just like, this sucks. Like, so I, I, I had some really, really wonderful times in that bar. I made some really great memories. It was the best phase of dating I've ever had in my life.

[Shane]

Thanks for the memories.

[Matt McCusker]

Come to your own. Come to your own establishment.

[Joe DeRosa]

It's the coolest thing ever to be. Like, want to go to my bar?

[Matt McCusker]

Yeah,

[Joe DeRosa]

it's pretty cool. But, yeah, but that's that. But. But other than that. No, I did not enjoy it. I. I would never open a business in New York ever again.

[Matt McCusker]

Yeah.

[Joe DeRosa]

Ever again.

[Shane]

Especially now with mom Donnie.

[Matt McCusker]

True.

[Joe DeRosa]

Yeah. Especially with Khan. Don't. You're a big Mom Donnie guy, right?

[Shane]

Of course.

[Joe DeRosa]

Yeah.

[Shane]

Yeah. You know I am.

[Joe DeRosa]

Yeah.

[Shane]

Yeah. I love taxes. I trust the government with my money, so I. I love giving the government money. I think that's a good choice. I think it goes to the right places.

[Joe DeRosa]

Wasn't it wild like it like living in Texas the first time I was like when I became a full time resident and like declared homestead and everything. It was only a few months ago. I was part time time when all of a sudden my business manager was like, oh dude, you don't need to worry about that. What your taxes were. I was like, holy. Like all of a sudden I was just like, oh my God, you saved so much. Fucking much.

[Matt McCusker]

That's what I heard. I heard New York's pretty brutal.

[Shane]

New York's crazy.

[Joe DeRosa]

Yeah, it's rough. PA is not bad.

[Shane]

Pa is good.

[Joe DeRosa]

Yeah, yeah. PA is not bad. But, but, but anyway.

[Matt McCusker]

That's kind of cool though. How long do you have it for?

[Joe DeRosa]

It's still there. I'm just not involved anymore.

[Matt McCusker]

You sell it off or you just.

[Joe DeRosa]

I, I can't. I don't want to get into True.

[Matt McCusker]

True.

[Joe DeRosa]

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

[Matt McCusker]

You're like. It's like Trump Towers. Yeah, that's cool. Yeah.

[Joe DeRosa]

My face is not on it anymore.

[Matt McCusker]

Okay.

[Joe DeRosa]

Yeah, I took my.

[Shane]

But, but it's that business is booming. You were like a scarecrow. That mug up there was scaring everyone away. Jesus Christ. That's the guy making the sandwiches. I'm not eating that.

[Matt McCusker]

There's a Tunisian family.

[Joe DeRosa]

Look at that scumbag up there. The I, I. What's it called? It's still called Joey Rose.

[Shane]

We born you.

[Joe DeRosa]

No, I just was making sure I wasn't late, that's all. I get paranoid. The I stop. What? Let me be

[Shane]

true. Let's talk tax regulations.

[Joe DeRosa]

No.

[Shane]

Yeah, no, good call.

[Joe DeRosa]

I didn't bring it up. He did.

[Shane]

No, good call.

[Joe DeRosa]

Now wait, what you just asked me. Oh, my face. Hideous face.

[Matt McCusker]

They should be like an animatronic Chuck E. Cheese thing of you in there.

[Joe DeRosa]

There's still. I was involved for

[Shane]

you. You know, you've always been an to me. I'm always so good to you and you're such a piece of to me.

[Joe DeRosa]

I was involved for four years.

[Shane]

That was my favorite. That was like our best conversation with you. Like, dude, you. You're a sucker to me all the time. How come you don't do that to Soda? Yeah, how come you. You don't do that to Matt or Soda ever? I'm like. Cuz Matt and Soda aren't to me. No, it's very, it's very obvious.

[Joe DeRosa]

You said it better than that. You said it better than that. I want you get full credit for this because it was such a. It was such a. Drop the mic. Go. Why? Why don't you do that to them. And he goes. Because they don't say the worst things

[Shane]

imaginable to me all the time.

[Joe DeRosa]

And I go, all right. Yeah,

[Shane]

that's the. The best part of Derosa is you're gonna fight.

[Matt McCusker]

Yeah.

[Shane]

And then the next day, you're getting a call, dude. I'm just like, can we stop with this? Like, every time we hang out, it's just like. It's like, Joe, you. You said I was a piece of shit.

[Matt McCusker]

Like, horrible person.

[Joe DeRosa]

Person. Be. Be. Be. Be fair, though. You do. You do push the buttons first a little more than I do. You have to. Come on, You. You gotta admit that much.

[Shane]

We've had this conversation, you know, you. Like, we can keep track of it.

[Joe DeRosa]

You know, you, like.

[Shane]

I literally will walk into a green room, and you'll go, well, well, well. Piece of. There's one. One nothing. Let's go.

[Joe DeRosa]

You walk up to me.

[Shane]

I walked out here. You called me barbecue first thing in the morning. Don't you like seeing me?

[Matt McCusker]

It.

[Shane]

Big barbecue. Piece of. All right, good morning. Let's start.

[Matt McCusker]

I was taking a. And I heard that.

[Shane]

Yeah, yeah, of course you do that. What do you think?

[Joe DeRosa]

I'm sorry. I don't even realize I do it.

[Shane]

See Matt, I give him a hug. What's up, dude? He goes, what's up, man?

[Joe DeRosa]

You know what's funny? When you hugged Matt, I was kind of like, he didn't hug me, and I didn't even realize. I called him Barbara.

[Shane]

Now, if Matt walked out of the. If you would have done what Matt did, I would have said something immediately,

[Joe DeRosa]

you know, dude, the dump on arrivals.

[Shane]

The DOA is crazy.

[Joe DeRosa]

I was happy to see you.

[Shane]

Dump on arrival. I heard him call. I didn't know you were here. I heard you, like,

[Matt McCusker]

Throws. Was talking about something. Midway through, I'm like, I'm sorry. I gotta. Right now. I gotta go.

[Shane]

Pardon me. Yeah.

[Matt McCusker]

Excuse me.

[Shane]

Pardon. I have to.

[Joe DeRosa]

That's all right. Right? All right. You got. You gotta. You got a point.

[Shane]

No, I do it too. You definitely do.

[Joe DeRosa]

You love walking up and going, you got your big opening line. You got a real bad attitude today. You love starting with that. Like, I was just gonna say hi,

[Shane]

dude, you do have a rotten attitude every time I see you, dude,

[Matt McCusker]

that's such a funny thing.

[Shane]

I just drove 13 hours. Beezer lied to me about the airports. Shut the up, Joe.

[Joe DeRosa]

Dude. And then you'll. Another one you'll do. You'll text me. There'll be some hang that you weren't there. For next morning, you'll be like, I know what you did, you scumbag.

[Shane]

That's nice. I like to stay home, dude. You guys are out partying. I go, I'm gonna take it easy. I know what you're up to.

[Joe DeRosa]

The. Wait, there was another one. You do that? I was just trying to remember it for the bad. Bad attitude is a big one.

[Matt McCusker]

Bad attitude, a lot. Well, well, well. Is nice when someone comes in.

[Joe DeRosa]

It's. Look, you're playing offense. It's the defense, Drew, because you know it's coming. I know. I. Oh. Oh. That's what it was. I remember now. I remember now. I know when you think. I know when you think that you were with me too much. And it's very nice. But you will do a thing now when we're drinking, if you think you're fucking with me too much for no reason, you'll come up behind me and you'll go. You'll grab my shoulder. You'll be like, you're a good man, dude. I love you. He thinks he's. He thinks he's fucking with me.

[Shane]

Yeah. You get so upset.

[Joe DeRosa]

I get upset sometimes with you.

[Shane]

You're so upset.

[Joe DeRosa]

You know how this is how I describe you? I've described you a lot like this to all of our friends. It's not a bad thing. It's actually a compliment, I'm sure. No, no, no.

[Shane]

I've described this to you this way to all your friends behind your back. It's a good thing.

[Joe DeRosa]

No, no, no. It's. I swear to God, It's. It's. It's your prowess of your insight into another person. I always say, you're like. Like, if you read the Justice League comic books, Batman, he has a way to take down every Justice League member in case they ever go awol. Like, he's like, he. So he's got a kryptonite bullet. Because he's like, in case Superman ever goes crazy, like that we have to kill him, right? And I'm like, that. Shane is Batman. He knows exactly what everybody's kryptonite bullet is. And he knows exactly how to fire it at you and get you the most mad you could possibly get. I honestly mean that as a compliment. It's a skill that Patrice had it, too. Patrice could just look at you and be like, yeah, you. And say the thing that you left the house thinking about. Like, God damn it.

[Shane]

So deep insecurity. You go, he's gonna notice what I thought about when I walked out. So I gotta nail Him.

[Joe DeRosa]

So I. I do tend to get a little. Little. A little more. More. Yeah, you're right. I. I get emotional.

[Shane]

Yeah.

[Joe DeRosa]

Maybe.

[Shane]

Maybe I'll stop messing with you.

[Joe DeRosa]

Don't stop.

[Matt McCusker]

Never.

[Joe DeRosa]

Last year, on this very pod, on this day, we tried to call the truth.

[Shane]

Yeah. Then I walked into the green room, and you're like, hey, look who's here, you tub of.

[Joe DeRosa]

No, no, no.

[Shane]

Okay.

[Joe DeRosa]

That night, you started it and then you kept going. You kept going. All right, that's it. I won't do anymore. Come on, dude, stop.

[Shane]

I would make. I'd make fun of me, go, oh, true. We can't. We can't. We promise.

[Joe DeRosa]

Yeah. Six beers later, we're like, you, dude. Just goes to. Immediately just went to.

[Matt McCusker]

I do like, the PA and ol.

[Shane]

There's a big pa.

[Matt McCusker]

There's personal attacks and there's over the line.

[Shane]

There's over the lines.

[Joe DeRosa]

Oh, oh.

[Shane]

So if you pa. It's like, you paid me, I'm gonna pau.

[Joe DeRosa]

Okay.

[Shane]

But that's an ol.

[Joe DeRosa]

The.

[Shane]

The.

[Joe DeRosa]

I. I. I don't think any of us have a lot of OLs.

[Shane]

Everyone has no l. What's.

[Joe DeRosa]

What's. No, I'm saying, like, I haven't witnessed a lot of OLs take place is what I mean.

[Shane]

Yeah, we. We usually don't take it that far.

[Joe DeRosa]

No, no. The. I'm trying to think of somebody who. Who does.

[Shane]

Tommy's kind of a habitual ol. Stepper spit on Nate.

[Matt McCusker]

Oh, yeah, that's ol.

[Joe DeRosa]

He did slap me in the face.

[Shane]

And I'll slap you in the face kind of as hard as he can.

[Joe DeRosa]

Yeah, yeah. And I go. And you were like. You were like, tommy, what are you doing? And he said, what?

[Shane]

What?

[Joe DeRosa]

What?

[Shane]

Oh, dude.

[Joe DeRosa]

Yeah, he stares at you. Yeah, that's great. You just did it perfect. And I go. I go, look, it's no big deal, dude, it's no big deal. We're drunk. I don't care. I go, do me a favor. Don't wake up tomorrow worried about this and call me and be like, dude, I'm so sorry. I'm embarrassed. Whatever. He goes, I'm not fucking going to. Because I'm not sorry. I was like, well, don't do that either. That's psychotic. Yeah, but he just was so. Just like, I don't like. And then he did call me, like, sorry about that. But, yeah, he'll slap you in the fucking. He'll give you a nice slap.

[Shane]

He's a big slap guy.

[Joe DeRosa]

It is.

[Shane]

He's a big slap Man. After a while, you'll see him slap someone.

[Matt McCusker]

You're like, dude, is it like a Robert De Niro kind of affectionate?

[Shane]

It is, but he takes it too far.

[Matt McCusker]

Yeah.

[Shane]

And sometimes he's a little too drunk, and.

[Matt McCusker]

Yeah.

[Shane]

He'll really slap you.

[Matt McCusker]

True.

[Joe DeRosa]

He. Yeah, we. We. We were. I was in New York the other night. Gomez. I'm sitting backstage at Kiltoni. I didn't know who it was. Go. Louis Gomez comes up behind me, puts me in a. Starts by hugging me around the neck. And I'm like, I don't know who this is. Slides into a triangle chokehold and starts doing it so strong where I go, bro, bro, stop. And that fucking hurts. And he goes literally, like, you are such a. You tap. You tap. What? Kind of says stop? I go, I didn't even know who the it was.

[Matt McCusker]

Dude.

[Joe DeRosa]

Are you a psycho? You're defending this. That is psychotic. And then he opened with it on stage and it bombed.

[Shane]

Yeah.

[Joe DeRosa]

He went out. He's like, the rose is. Because I was on panel.

[Matt McCusker]

Yeah.

[Joe DeRosa]

Doris is such a. I put him at trial trouble. He didn't even. He doesn't tap. He goes, stop. And the people are like, huh?

[Matt McCusker]

Yeah.

[Shane]

At the Garden.

[Joe DeRosa]

Yeah. And then he had a great set, but that first line, they were just like, yes. Yeah. It's crazy.

[Matt McCusker]

Yeah. Do that move police kill people with. And he was all pissed off about it.

[Joe DeRosa]

That's an ol, right?

[Matt McCusker]

That's an ol. Well, yeah.

[Shane]

A bit of a no. Well, no. I mean, it depends how hard he strangled you.

[Joe DeRosa]

An anonymous triangle joke from behind

[Shane]

it borders. Paol. It's right there. It's sitting on the line now. Defending it immediately and calling you a. That's a no.

[Joe DeRosa]

Yeah.

[Shane]

Strangling someone and then calling them a pussy.

[Joe DeRosa]

You pussy. Well off, man.

[Matt McCusker]

She just gave one of the bodyguards, like, a thousand bucks and be like, destroy this guy.

[Shane]

Destroy him.

[Joe DeRosa]

I would love to go get a couple of those Rogan. Those Rogan troops.

[Shane]

Those guys.

[Joe DeRosa]

Do me a favor.

[Matt McCusker]

Handle that. Handle that,

[Joe DeRosa]

dude. Yeah. But, yeah, anyway, well. Oh, the slap thing, it is. It's like Shane said. Like, it's. He's. He's not doing it to be like you. He's doing it to be funny. But it's like, Tommy also gets like, he'll hug you and. And it. It hurts.

[Matt McCusker]

Yeah.

[Joe DeRosa]

And he's kissing your face.

[Shane]

The kissing is outrageous.

[Matt McCusker]

Yeah.

[Joe DeRosa]

And you're like, tom, this hurts. Please stop.

[Shane]

Kissing is absolutely the most outrageous thing.

[Matt McCusker]

I've seen it.

[Shane]

And his beard sweat from drinking dude, get the. He's like, what? I love you.

[Matt McCusker]

God forbid somebody loves you.

[Shane]

Piece of

[Matt McCusker]

this beard, like, digs into your face, doing like.

[Joe DeRosa]

Ow. Wide eyed. Just wide eyed. You want to have a drink? I've been drinking all day. All right, man.

[Matt McCusker]

We had a nice time cooking at the beach. Me and himself. Two and a half hours cooking. It was so, so n. Nice.

[Shane]

Yeah, the meals were great.

[Matt McCusker]

He can cook, man. Yeah, he's like, it's unbelievable.

[Joe DeRosa]

He's amazing.

[Matt McCusker]

He made like a steakhouse, like a real steakhouse dinner.

[Joe DeRosa]

Yeah, it's.

[Matt McCusker]

It's. He's just sitting there the whole time, flipping everything. I'm go check the steaks back and forth. I'm like, dude, how the are you doing this?

[Joe DeRosa]

Dude? We.

[Shane]

Then he resentfully serves after he makes a nice meal. He's like, hey, you know, as soon as. God, somebody's got to feed these children, no one here can make a meal to save their lives. You're like, dude, as soon as O Conor came in, it went, oh, that was crazy.

[Matt McCusker]

Conor goes, what's that? Mushroom risotto. And I could. O Conor was trying to be nice and cheery, but he was so drunk that when he saw it, he goes, what's that? Mushroom risoto. And Tommy goes, yeah, I was.

[Shane]

I was walking in the bathroom, I heard it. I leaned back in. I was like, say thank you, Chris. Oh, it was so nice.

[Joe DeRosa]

Did the second

[Matt McCusker]

was trying to be nice.

[Shane]

I could tell. Mushroom risotto, Chris. Say thank you. Don't just complain that there's mushrooms. Yeah, I'm not complaining there's mushrooms.

[Matt McCusker]

Sorry.

[Shane]

You're a piece of shit.

[Joe DeRosa]

Second night we were there. It's me, Shane. Me, Shane, Tommy. We're on the beach. Tommy's like, I'm gonna cook a steak dinner. I'm gonna make a Greek salad. It was amazing. We're down at the beach. We get pretty bombed up at the beach. Me and Tommy go back. Shane's still sitting down there. I go take a nap. Actually, no, I left first and I just went up and took a nap. I wake up from my nap. I'm like, fuck, man. I was out for like two hours. Jesus. I go downstairs. Cause I hear noise. Tommy's alone in the kitchen. He's got a Greek salad in front of him, dude. He's like, where the fuck were you? I go, I was upstairs sleeping. He goes, I'm in the fucking weeds. I'm working my fucking ass off down here. He was yelling at me like.

[Shane]

Like it was a.

[Joe DeRosa]

Like a real restaurant kitchen. I was like I never said I would help you with any of this weird meal you wanted to cook.

[Shane]

The Greek salad was incredible. It was the best Greek salad.

[Matt McCusker]

I don't even like tomatoes like that. And I was like these are delicious.

[Joe DeRosa]

It was amazing. He was so on edge, man.

[Matt McCusker]

Oh, so funny.

[Joe DeRosa]

Guys, I love you. I got to roll.

[Shane]

Joe, congratulations.

[Joe DeRosa]

Thanks. I never promised you a rose garden on Netflix. Now please go watch it. And my new podcast, violent horrendous on the on on my YouTube. You're in tires tires season three.

[Shane]

Yeah. It comes out Thursday.

[Joe DeRosa]

Comes out Thursday. Awesome. And live dates. Joe Derosa.com Guys, thank you man. This is awesome.

[Shane]

Of course, man. This is special. This was a special one.

[Joe DeRosa]

Thanks man. Wait off.

[Matt McCusker]

Watch new episodes of Matt and Shane's secret podcast on Spotify. Do. You.