Maxwell Leadership Executive Podcast

Episode #375: Connectors Connect on Common Ground

Host: Perry Holley & Chris Goede
Date: December 18, 2025

Episode Overview

In this episode, Perry Holley and Chris Goede explore the foundational leadership principle of "connecting on common ground" as taught by John Maxwell. They discuss how authentic connections, rooted in shared experiences and values, can elevate leadership effectiveness, build trust, and increase influence. The hosts share actionable advice, personal stories, and highlight common barriers to connection, offering leaders practical ways to deepen relationships with their teams.

Key Discussion Points & Insights

1. The Importance of Connecting on Common Ground

• Defining Common Ground (02:00 - 02:45)

  • Connecting on common ground means finding shared experiences, beliefs, values, or backgrounds.
  • True connection goes beyond just building a relationship; it's about bridging differences at a deeper level.
  • "Relationships is one thing. I can build a relationship with you, but to connect with you is like taking relationships to the next level." — Perry Holley (02:38)

• Why It Matters for Leaders

  • Leaders who connect authentically inspire teams, foster engagement, and establish lasting influence.
  • Common ground opens doors to influence and collaboration.

2. Personal Story: The Power of Common Ground (03:30 - 04:45)

• Perry’s Journey to Maxwell Leadership
  • Perry shares how finding small similarities (same hometown, mutual friends) during a coffee meeting led to a key introduction and eventually his role at Maxwell Leadership.
  • "Here I am. All that because of finding common ground with someone who made a connection, who then became now one of my closest friends ever." — Perry Holley (04:44)

3. Authentic Intent vs. Hidden Agendas (04:59 - 05:13)

• True connection must stem from sincerity, not manipulation.
• "A lot of people, I think ... you can just smell it. You can sense it when the intent behind why they're trying to connect is not necessarily the right way." — Chris Goede (05:13)

4. Internal Barriers to Connection (06:30 - 09:56)

The hosts identify four leader-centric barriers:

• Assumption – Assuming you already understand people or their preferences. (07:05)
• Arrogance – Believing you don't need to learn anything new about others. (07:47)
  • "My ego gets in the way of my leadership sometimes." — Perry Holley (07:54)
• Indifference – Lacking genuine interest due to overload or burnout. (08:09)
  • "We all know when someone's indifferent. You feel it—then you just shut it off and move on." — Chris Goede (09:02)
• Control/Vulnerability – Hesitating to share your own experiences or feelings, often to maintain control.
  • "When you're building common ground, you have to actually share something too." — Perry Holley (09:09)

5. Choices for Intentional Connection (10:00 - 13:15)

To intentionally find common ground, leaders must:

• Be Available: Spend time, prioritize people, and show approachability. (10:00)
• Listen Actively: Engage to genuinely understand what matters to others. (10:30)
• Ask Curious Questions: Let curiosity drive your learning about team members. (11:27)
  • "Curiosity is really like a secret sauce of great leadership." — Perry Holley (11:29)
• Serve from Humility: Focus on helping others rather than forwarding your own agenda.
• Be Open, Not Overexposed: Share honestly, but maintain healthy boundaries.
  • "You don't have to open the curtain all the way ... but letting people know, being a little bit open will help people to know you better." — Perry Holley (12:48)

6. Doing Connection Well: Essential Mindsets (13:15 - 18:52)

• It’s About Them, Not You:

  • Keep the focus on the other person, especially at the outset.
  • "These conversations are really about them. When you connect with them initially and then you kind of mature through that." — Chris Goede (13:15)

• Be Caring and Authentic:

  • Sincere interest builds trust: "People don't care how much you know until they know how much you care."

• Be Adaptable:

  • Adjust communication to meet people where they are.
  • John Maxwell story: Before a speech, he asks, “What do they need to hear, where are they at, and how do I connect with them?” (14:46)

• Be Interested, Not Just Interesting: (15:32 - 17:19)

  • "You can make more friends in two months by being interested in others, than you can in two years trying to get them interested in you." — Perry Holley quoting Dale Carnegie (16:12)
  • Perry’s “mind worm”: “Be interested, not interesting.”

• See Conversation as an Opportunity to Learn:

  • Ask open-ended questions—find their stories and perspectives.
  • “When we stop asking, what do I want to say in this conversation? And we start asking, what do they need to hear? We move from talking at people to communicating with them.” — Chris Goede (18:30)

7. Applying Common Ground to Everyday Leadership (18:52 - 19:46)

• Leaders must create shared spaces—emotionally, strategically, relationally.
• Replace:
  • Assumption with curiosity
  • Arrogance with humility
  • Indifference with empathy
  • Control with openness
• “All your influence flows through connection. And if people aren’t bought in or connected with you, they’re going to be much harder to lead.” — Perry Holley (19:29)

8. Challenges & Practical Takeaways for Listeners (19:46 - 22:30)

• Challenge: Pick one strained relationship and intentionally find common ground this week.
  • “Intentionally engage in a conversation and try to find common ground—and then learn more about where they're at on that ground, not you sharing about where you’re at." — Chris Goede (21:12)
• Be patient; bridges are “built one plank at a time.”
  • “John Maxwell reminds us that connecting always requires crossing a bridge... they're built one plank at a time.” — Chris Goede (22:09)

9. Recommended Resource

• Book: Everyone Communicates, Few Connect by John C. Maxwell
  • “He said it was the easiest book he’s ever sat down to write... lean into this book and dig into it. Because he’s a master at it.” — Chris Goede (22:30)

Notable Quotes & Memorable Moments

• "To connect with you is like taking relationships to the next level." – Perry Holley (02:38)
• "You can just smell it... when the intent behind why they're trying to connect is not necessarily the right way." – Chris Goede (05:13)
• "My ego gets in the way of my leadership sometimes." – Perry Holley (07:54)
• "Curiosity is really like a secret sauce of great leadership." – Perry Holley (11:29)
• "People don't care how much you know until they know how much you care." – Chris Goede (13:46)
• "You can make more friends in two months by being interested in others, than you can in two years trying to get them interested in you." – Perry Holley via Dale Carnegie (16:12)
• "All your influence flows through connection. And if people aren't bought in or connected with you, they're going to be much harder to lead." – Perry Holley (19:29)
• "Connecting always requires crossing a bridge, right? And so bridges ... they're built one plank at a time." – Chris Goede (22:09)

Key Timestamps

• 02:00 – What is Common Ground?
• 03:30 – Perry’s personal story: Connections that changed his career
• 06:30 – Internal barriers to connecting
• 10:00 – Being available & listening intentionally
• 11:27 – The role of curiosity in leadership
• 13:15 – Mindset: Interested vs. Interesting
• 14:46 – John Maxwell’s green room story on audience connection
• 19:46 – Practical application for team leaders
• 21:12–22:09 – Listener challenge: Engage and build connections “one plank at a time”

In Summary

This episode encourages leaders to seek genuine, common ground with those they lead, explaining why superficial relationships fall short of true influence. The hosts offer practical steps—prioritizing curiosity, empathy, openness, and adaptability—while challenging listeners to apply these principles immediately. Perry and Chris underscore that all leadership effectiveness flows through authentic connection, with real-world stories and actionable wisdom to help any leader grow their influence and impact.

Resource Link:
Everyone Communicates, Few Connect by John C. Maxwell