Maxwell Leadership Executive Podcast

Episode #382: Rules of Resilience with Valorie Burton (Part 1)

Released: February 5, 2026
Host(s): Perry Holly, Chris Cody
Guest: Valorie Burton

Episode Overview

This episode kicks off a two-part series on the "Rules of Resilience" featuring special guest Valorie Burton, executive coach, faculty member of the John Maxwell Team, and renowned author. The hosts and Valorie dive deep into what resilience means for leaders and teams, why it's more crucial now than ever, and how it can be intentionally developed as a skill. They also explore how to create resilient teams and organizations, and introduce Valorie's practical framework for building a personal resilience plan. The conversation is filled with actionable advice, memorable anecdotes, and insightful strategies for leaders facing stress and adversity.

Key Discussion Points & Insights

1. Why Focus on Resilience?

• Valorie’s Motivation (02:56)
  Valorie shares that her new book stems from both personal experience and coaching over two decades. She noticed that while resilience is often celebrated in inspiring stories, most people lack practical tools to develop it themselves:

  “Resilience is a skill...it can be learned. But how do you make it practical?” — Valorie Burton [04:27]

• Practical Application & Need for Simplicity (05:00)
  The hosts and Valorie discuss how frameworks need to be "sticky and portable"—easy to remember and apply under pressure.

2. Resilience is a Learnable Skill

• Misconceptions Addressed (06:02)
  Perry expresses that he hadn’t realized resilience is learnable until working with Valorie:

  “There are some people that just rebound from stuff better than others. Are they just natural? No, you can learn this stuff.” — Perry Holly [06:11]

• Audience Reactions
  Valorie recounts feedback from leaders and teams who immediately started using resilience language and applying her framework to everyday and critical challenges:

  “Teams are realizing and recognizing in each other... ‘Oh, this is an opportunity for us to practice resilience.’” — Valorie Burton [06:47]

3. Building a Common Language for Teams

• The Power of Shared Vocabulary (08:13)
  Adopting common language about resilience shifts team dynamics, especially under pressure:

  “Common language leads to common belief...that leads to common behavior.” — Chris Cody [08:45]

• Signs of Low Resilience (10:22)
  Valorie identifies lack of problem-solving, low morale, and a focus on complaining as warning signs:

  “People are not only frustrated, but they're talking around everything that is wrong without the discussion around... what is the solution?” — Valorie Burton [10:25]

4. The Concept of Psychological Capital

• Beyond Human Capital (11:55)
  Valorie introduces "psychological capital"—the collective mental strength, optimism, and resilience within a team.

  “If your people aren't thinking in the right direction, they aren’t thinking resiliently, then everything falls apart.” — Valorie Burton [11:54]

• Contagious Leadership
  The resilience (or lack thereof) in leaders affects the whole team’s mindset and behavior.

5. Stress and Mindset—A Leader’s Role

• Don’t Aim to Eliminate Stress (14:00)
  Valorie stresses that stress is part of pursuing goals. The challenge is to manage it—especially through mindset:

  “You eliminate stress, you’re probably dead, right?... The key is understanding how to approach that stress when it happens.” — Valorie Burton [14:03]

• Listening for Resilient Thinking (15:00-16:18)
  Leaders should pay attention to the language and mindset of their teams—labels and narratives shape reactions and outcomes.

• Focus on Vision Over Obstacles (17:13)

  “One of the rules is focus on the vision, not the obstacle... Our energy has got to be focused on the thing that matters most.” — Valorie Burton [17:13]

6. The Personal Resilience Plan—A Systematic Approach

• Three Core Components (19:32)
  • Adaptive Skills: Internal mindset and strategies for engaging with challenges.
  • Protective Resources: External supports—relationships, experience, resources.
  • Preventive Measures: Proactive choices to lessen future adversity.

“You’ve got a system [for resilience]. There may be some cracks in your system... But if you understand these three pillars, you can be very intentional about strengthening that system.” — Valorie Burton [20:45]

7. Applying Resilience in Real Life: The Canceled Flight Example

• Adaptive Skills:
  Pause and choose a productive thought, strategize, and don't beat yourself up for an initial negative reaction.

  “With thoughts and reactions, you get to choose again, right? ... What would be a more empowering way to think about this?” — Valorie Burton [26:02]

• Protective Resources:
  Identify your supports and privileges — status with airlines, hotel points, emergency contacts.

• Perspective and Control:
  Always ask, what’s within your control?

  “Control the controllable. Accept the rest. You do not have to like the rest...” — Valorie Burton [27:04]

• Energy Management:
  Avoid draining energy on frustration; refocus for higher resilience in what comes next.

  “That energy makes you less resilient for a lot of other things. It may affect how you show up in a meeting or with your kids.” — Valorie Burton [30:20]

Notable Quotes & Memorable Moments

• “Resilience is a skill...it can be learned.” — Valorie Burton [04:27]
• “Teams are realizing...‘Oh, this is an opportunity for us to practice resilience.’” — Valorie Burton [06:47]
• “If your people aren't thinking resiliently, everything falls apart.” — Valorie Burton [11:54]
• “You eliminate stress, you’re probably dead... The key is understanding how to approach that stress when it happens.” — Valorie Burton [14:03]
• “Common language leads to common belief that leads to common behavior.” — Chris Cody [08:45]
• “You’ve got a system. There may be some cracks... But if you understand these three pillars, you can be very intentional about strengthening that system.” — Valorie Burton [20:45]
• “Control the controllable. Accept the rest.” — Valorie Burton [27:04]
• “With thoughts and reactions, you get to choose again.” — Valorie Burton [26:02]
• “That energy makes you less resilient... It may affect how you show up with your kids.” — Valorie Burton [30:20]

Timestamps for Key Segments

• [02:56] — Valorie explains her motivation and approach to resilience
• [06:40] — Audience reactions to resilience frameworks
• [10:22] — Signs of low team resilience, morale, and the need for solutions focus
• [11:54] — Introduction of “psychological capital”
• [14:00] — The myth of eliminating all stress
• [15:00-16:18] — Listening for resilient language on your team
• [17:13-18:01] — Shifting focus from obstacles to vision (practical case)
• [19:32-22:17] — The three components of the Personal Resilience Plan
• [25:12-31:43] — Using resilience skills in high-stress travel scenarios
• [34:00] — The link between environment, engagement, and resilience

Tone & Takeaways

Valorie Burton and the hosts maintain an encouraging, practical, and sometimes humorous tone as they demystify resilience. The episode is rich in examples, tools, and frameworks that can be directly applied by leaders and teams. Listeners are urged to view resilience as a practical, learnable skill rather than an innate trait, and to consider how organizational language and systems can support psychological safety and high performance, especially under pressure.

Looking Ahead

Part 2 (next episode) will delve into Valorie’s specific “Rules of Resilience,” offering a practical roadmap for building these skills at the personal and team level.