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Mayim Bialik
Reggie, I just sold my car online.
Jonathan Cohen
Let's go, Grandpa.
Scott Galloway
Wait, you did?
Mayim Bialik
Yep, on Carvana. Just put in the license plate, answered a few questions, got an offer in minutes. Easier than setting up that new digital picture frame.
Scott Galloway
You don't say.
Mayim Bialik
Yeah, they're even picking it up tomorrow. Talk about fast. Wow.
Jonathan Cohen
Way to go.
Mayim Bialik
So, about that picture frame. Ah, forget about it. Until Carvana makes one, I'm not interested.
Jonathan Cohen
Car selling made easy on pick up. These may apply mind Bialix breakdown is supported by Helix Sleep. Like many of us, I'm spending a ton more time indoors. Winter's in full swing. Sleep is even more important during the colder season because it's peak cold and flu time. So now is the perfect time to invest in a new mattress. I've had pretty much every sleep problem that you can name. Sweating at night, back pain, limbs falling asleep. Anyone else? We were so excited to hear that Helix wanted to partner with us years ago. All the incredible feedback that we had heard about them. I've had my Helix for, I think, four years now and it's been a huge, huge upgrade from our last mattresses. Jonathan also has one. Our kids all have them. We highly recommend taking the Helix Sleep quiz. Find your perfect mattress in under two minutes. Everyone sleeps differently and we're confident you'll find a Helix mattress model specifically designed for your specific sleep position and feel preferences. I took the quiz and I was matched with a midnight mattress because I want something firm and I generally sleep on my side. Jonathan is. In case you're wondering, their models with memory foam layers provide optimal pressure relief and cradle your body in the areas that it needs most. It's the perfect combination of comfort and support. Also, there are cooling features on Helix mattresses that can keep you from overheating at night. Go to helixsleep.com breakdown for 20% off sitewide exclusive for listeners of Mayimbialix Breakdown. That's helixsleep.com breakdown for twenty percent off site wide. Make sure you enter our show name after checkout so they know that we sent you helixsleep.com breakdown. Hi, I'm Mayim Bialik.
Mayim Bialik
And I'm Jonathan Cohen.
Jonathan Cohen
And welcome to part two of our conversation with Scott Galloway. In part one of our conversation, we talked about notes on being a man. We talked about the biggest threat of AI as loneliness.
Mayim Bialik
The episode also talks about what women are actually looking for in partnership and what the three top things are that they are attracted to in potential mates.
Jonathan Cohen
In this part of our conversation, we're going to go A little bit deeper into what partnership actually provides both for men and for women, as well as the differences in how men and women interact with kids and what men can learn about stepping up into their sensitivity.
Mayim Bialik
Deeper in the conversation, Mayim and I unpack some of our own experiences navigating divorce and what does it really mean to be emotionally available and able to connect with. We also talk about one of the biggest new emerging technological risks facing men especially. We also talk about what the one biggest political action could be to keep men safe and a rising threat that most people aren't aware of yet that faces men disproportionately. The risk is almost incalculable.
Jonathan Cohen
And here is part two of our conversation with Scott Galloway. Break it down.
Mayim Bialik
I want to talk about shoulder to shoulder connection because it's, it's actually a pretty profound and insightful statement. I have a 17 year old as I mentioned, and if I try to ask him a question or engage in a face to face conversation with him, it will not succeed. I will get almost no information. And you know, his mom and I are divorced and went early in the divorce. I would pick him up, I would spend time with him on the weekend and he wouldn't start talking to me until like the last hour of the third day that we were hanging out.
Jonathan Cohen
He's a quiet fellow. He wasn't shutting down around you.
Mayim Bialik
He's a quiet fellow, but he would pick these moments to interact and start to open up when I least expected it. And nowadays usually that interaction happens while I'm driving on a road trip and we have many hours to kill. And even at the end of a week, all of a sudden he'll just start telling me about his internal world and things that are happening in school. And if I ask him point blank, I get it was fine, we did nothing, nothing happened. I don't remember.
Jonathan Cohen
Are you going to talk about how much he talks to me?
Mayim Bialik
He talks to her an unbelievable amount. I don't understand it, but talk to us about the difference, about how men and women interact and what does it mean to show up for a young man and try to just let them connect when they're ready.
Scott Galloway
I don't feel as if I have the domain expertise to really unpack the different ways the genders communicate. I can just speak anecdotally to what it's like to be a dad. And it's exactly what you said, John. It's random moments of connection when you're not looking for it. And again, my hack is to be the Uber Driver because you're not looking at them and they'll just start talking. The other, the other thing I do with my 15 year old is I lie down with him at night and we just talk. We just kind of debrief on the day and he'll start asking me questions about my parents and my upbringing. And he's just in a state of calm, he's in a state of Zen. And the rest of the day he's just assessing the household for vulnerability so he can attack at our weakest points. He's a terrorist. But there's something about. And every kid's different, right? There's something about when he lies down at night. I lie down for the first, you know, 10 or 15 minutes until he falls asleep and like one out of three nights he asks something and it we have a moment of connection. But I love the term that Ryan Holiday coined of garbage time. The most important thing you can do. I think what I've tried to practice is I just try to have a lot of time with my kids. I try to be present and I try to be around and you know, there a lot and obviously and constantly I travel a lot. So every day at the same time I facetime them, even if it's just to check in and say hi and it's like a 30 second call. But I find also kids like ritual kids really enjoy like every Friday night is family night or the first day dad gets home, we go and we always get dim sum. It's just, it's non negotiable. We go get dim sum. Right. And I, they hate it for different, you know, parts of their lives they hate it. But I think that's what they'll talk about when you know, they're reheating my soup.
Mayim Bialik
And I, I fully agree. It is about those con, that consistency having some expectation. Also having enough time and space where we slow down, enough where you can lie down with them and you can give space to ask those questions. I am a person who doesn't volunteer a lot of information unless it's asked of me. And I have learned from Mayim that just sharing about things that I wouldn't normally share about is helpful to open up that landscape of conversation. Talking about my parents, telling them stories about things that they may not otherwise have known about. In those quiet moments too, I've tried to do a lot of.
Jonathan Cohen
It's funny because I, I always, you know, had this fear about having girls because I felt like I wouldn't know what to do with them because I was always, you know, kind of a tomboy. And I'm, I don't really understand jewelry, makeup, fashion, any of those things. And you know, in many ways it is easier, right, to have a boy. It's just a different emotion. You know, friends of mine with daughters say that it's like everyone having their period. From the time that the girl is like four years old, it's like everyone is like screaming and crying and it's very intense and it's very emot emotional. And you know, a lot of it is girls tend to be more verbal, more social. You know, their interactions with other females tend to make their way, you know, into your life as well. But when you frame it this way in terms of kind of the statistics and in terms of sort of the, the challenges, you know, is it that hard to get it right? Meaning like how, how, how close, how much do we need to sort of hit this mark? Or you know, can we be roughly available? What does it look like for young boys? Like what are we aiming for, I guess is the question.
Scott Galloway
I don't know if I'm able to put a metric on it. I mean, unfortunately a lot of these problems are inversely correlated to income of the household. In a capitalist society, money solves a lot of these problems. Not all of them, but I mean, I was just looking at data on public schools. The average public school spends $15,000 per student. The average public school in a poor neighborhood spends 8 to 10,000. The average elite private school spends $75,000 a year per child, 50 to 60 in tuition and another 15 in gifts and endowments. So just think about, you have this infrastructure called education. Whether you think it's a good infrastructure or not, it is an infrastructure that has scale for a reason. And there's one kid we're spending $150,000 on, and there's another we're spending a million on. And what do you know, the outcomes are much different. So just the level, I mean, I just think about the resources we're pouring into these kids around every, everything and some of it's not good. But I used to leave my mom's house at 9am on a Saturday morning with a Schwinn bike and Abu Zaba bar and 35 cents and she wouldn't see me for 14 hours.
Jonathan Cohen
Sure.
Scott Galloway
And now my kids are 10 minutes late from school and we call MI6 and the CIA. I mean, it's just so. They're so over, they're so over parented. I don't know if I have an exact metric for what we're trying to get to. What I would just say is the basics are presence, especially for men with boys. And the other thing I just zeroed in on, which I have some data on, is being really good to their mother, that that teaches them to have healthier relationships and be happier themselves later in life with women.
Mayim Bialik
I know you're a staunch atheist in your worldview.
Scott Galloway
Well, let me say this. I'm not a staunch atheist. I'm the reluctant atheist. Because one of the things I think is a shame is that people are spending less time at religious institutions and that is a form of community. And although I'm an atheist, I do sometimes when I mentor young men, really encourage them if they're involved in a church group or temple. I think it's great. I think people getting together on a regular basis to be in the agency of something bigger than them and wish each other well. I think that's a good thing. I have not found faith. It just never struck me. But I think it's a good thing. I don't wanna say I'm envious of it, but I respect it. And also I say to people, I'm an atheist, but I'm Jewish. And that is. I'm what Dan Senor calls. I don't know if you knew Dan. He wrote this great book. I called Call me Back. He calls me affectionately. We're friends. An October 8th Jew. And I never felt very strong connection to Judaism or to Israel, but now I'm a full. People in my comments section accuse me of being a Zionist and I respond, I'm a raging Zionist. So I consider myself Jewish, but I'm not. I don't. I do believe that there will be a point where I look into my son's eyes and know our relationship is coming to an end. And my atheism, for me, and I'm not saying this is true of everybody, has given me tremendous courage to be more emotive, to tell people that I love them, to take risks I may not otherwise take because I just generally believe that this is not a dress rehearsal and that it's going to go faster than we think or I think. And there's no reason why I wouldn't take risks, be more emotional and squeeze as much juice out of this lime called life. So for me, atheism has been a real unlock. I'm not saying it's for everybody. I don't force it on anybody else. And I have a lot of respect for religion and religious institutions and I now more Often than not talk about my Jewish heritage and my connection. But yeah, I have not found faith, so to speak.
Jonathan Cohen
Thank you, Scott, so much and really, really enjoyed notes on being a man. And thank you so much for joining us again.
Scott Galloway
Thanks and congrats on your success.
Jonathan Cohen
Good luck with college applications.
Scott Galloway
God.
Mayim Bialik
Yeah, exactly.
Scott Galloway
Make it end.
Jonathan Cohen
Oh, yeah. Let's just say if anyone is still curious, if it matters what's going on with men, maybe listen to the episode again because I'm convinced at first I was like, oh, wah wah, men. And. But after reading the book, after talking to Scott today, it's absolutely true that if those statistics exist in terms of suicide, in terms of the time outdoors, in terms of friendship, in terms of meaning, we, we would be very, very worried. Right? These are very, very worrisome stats.
Mayim Bialik
Also. There has never been a safe society where that number, potentially that number of men are displaced, despondent, have no meaning, have no family or personal connections. That breeds violence. It breeds instability.
Jonathan Cohen
Yeah, I mean, I, I started sort of like running through and I'm not great, I'm great with certain portions of history, or at least I have some knowledge of certain portions of history, but I'm like thinking about, like the Bolshevik Revolution, like, I'm thinking about the French Revolution. You know, I'm thinking scrolling in my mind as to like, where are these places where we can see. And you know, I, I know more about World War II than, than others just from, you know, what I studied in college. You know, this notion of this sort of energy brewing right when men are unemployed or when men are isolated, that makes sense to me. And when we think about the trends that many of us are seeing, and this is not a, this should not be a partisan conversation. You know, when we think about January 6th, I've, I've read some really interesting interviews with some of the men who stormed the Capitol and, you know, kind of learning what is driving for many people this sense of a need to, quote, take back our country. And as Scott points out, that so often turns against immigrants, it turns against women. That I know does not have an historical good track. When we're looking for a scapegoat, when we're looking for who can we blame for what is going on? Nothing good happens in a society. Mayim Bialik's breakdown is supported by superpower. You know, when I started this journey called perimenopause, something that we've talked about a lot here on the podcast, I had so many doctor's appointments to try and pinpoint why things weren't feeling right in my body. But instead of answers, we're often told everything's normal or you're just stressed or this is what getting or feels like. No hormone testing, no real data, no plan. It's what happens for so many of us and it's very frustrating. But we're here to tell you that Superpower is a completely different experience Changing the game for women's health Superpower sends a licensed professional to your home or you can visit a nearby lab. One simple blood draw with over 100 biomarkers, including detailed hormone testing so women can actually see what's changing in their bodies instead of just guessing. This is especially powerful for women navigating perimenopause menopause trying to decide if hormone replacement therapy is right for you. The app breaks down insights into female hormones, thyroid health, metabolism, nutrient deficiencies, inflammation, even your true biological age so you can see how your body's actually functioning and track improvement over time. It's incredibly empowering to finally have Superpower's actionable health plan based on real results, not assumptions from targeted supplement recommendations. Nutrition guidance that supports hormones and energy, lifestyle and behavioral adjustments designed for women's biology. Superpower doesn't just give you a one time snapshot. No, it tracks your results as your body changes each test, building on the last. Superpower used to cost $499, but right now it's $199 for the full experience. That's more affordable than anything else out there. Know your numbers this year with Superpower. Make this the year you stop guessing about your health with Superpower. Not only did Superpower reduce their price to just $199, but for a limited time our listeners get an additional $20 off with code BREAK. Head to superpower.com, use the code BREAK at checkout for $20 off your membership. After you sign up, they'll ask how you heard about them. Make sure to mention this podcast to support the show.
Mayim Bialik
My Ambiox breakdown is supported by Grazza.
Jonathan Cohen
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Mayim Bialik
Was emotionally cracked open in a way that I didn't anticipate. I didn't anticipate. I couldn't have foreseen.
Jonathan Cohen
Maybe you're too sensitive. Scott Galloway would say, you're too sensitive.
Mayim Bialik
It was so intense to see this little tiny, like, I had spent a little bit of time with my nephew who was born. I was at his birth and yeah, I held him, but like, it was different. It was different than my own child. It was different than, you know, his mom and I did it by ourselves, without family around. And like, all of a sudden I have this like. And then like the next day I remember just changing his diaper and I was like, where did this creature come from? And there was something inside of me that just like totally changed. And it's like, oh, my entire existence now revolves around what this creature is doing, what he will be, what he needs. Like, everything shifts. And in absence of that or in absence of being emotionally connected deeply to other human beings, I don't think people will actually just sit in their basements being unconnected. Some might, but what will happen is that they will find the need or they will channel the need for that type of connection into rage, into rage against the society, into rage against perceived injustice into rage against a minority class or a. An immigrant population. They're going to create, like, that need that they have is going to mutate and come out in ways that we do not want.
Jonathan Cohen
Yeah. This doesn't feel like a scientific exploration we're doing, but. But in terms of like a. An energy transfer, you know, conversation, I think that's. I mean, look, I also, you know, I do this a lot here, and I, you know, I try not to be. I mean, Scott Galloway both, you know, enthralls me and depresses me. You know, it's very scary to think of some of these things.
Mayim Bialik
That's why he's a little depressed.
Jonathan Cohen
Yeah.
Mayim Bialik
He knows all this, all these facts.
Jonathan Cohen
No, but I do. There's an entire. And really, in the first episode we did with Scott, we talked a little bit more about this, you know, the socioeconomic factor, you know, which really. It lives throughout this issue and so many others. And like, that just feels like the most obvious thing to say. But the notion that it is a privilege to be present enough to be present for men in particular, and, you know, part of that does come from the fact that men historically have been the providers. And as he argues, he feels that's a very important, A critically important part of the male experience, at least the cis hetero male experience. Right. In. In some of this context. But that notion that there are men who are not able to be present or they have been raised themselves in an environment where you have a historical lack of. Of the presence of a father in it makes it a completely different. A completely different conversation. And that is sort of what keeps building on itself in the ways that we're seeing this, you know, kind of devastating set of statistics.
Mayim Bialik
And if we just like, take it down to a micro level, you can be physically there and not emotionally there.
Jonathan Cohen
Sure, Right. Sure. Well, and it also, you know, what it reminded me of when you watch movies or TV shows set in, like, the 1700s, the 1800s, and, like, sadly, babies die all the time. Right. Like, women would have a lot of kids because, like, half of them would, like, get. I don't know, name a disease. Like, they'd get dysentery or they'd die of the flu or, like, you know, little infection. Right. The things that. That people had to get used to. And it did cause a certain amount of emotional distance. And it's really. I mean, in many cases, it's through women writers, right, through all of history that we've been able to get, really get a window into what was the emotional experience of parenting, of loss? Right. And for men, even more so, they were removed from a lot of that. You know, men weren't necessarily in women's spaces that way. It's why midwifery was the way that women gave birth. Right. And it wasn't until it moved to obstetrics that men became part of the conversation. So I also wonder, you know, in that Alan Alda male generation in the 70s, when Alan Alda was sort of presenting as like, what can the new man be like? He can be like that, right? What's that sort of balance that we're striking? Because that doesn't come naturally to a lot of man. Even my dad, my dad was an artist. My dad was very, you know, romantic and he loved poetry and all these things. But when it came down to it, like, he was not very domestic. He was, he was a man's man in a lot of ways. He had a lot of old fashioned skills. He could dance, he could open a door for a lady, right? But he wasn't like, how was everybody's day? What's the emotional, you know, vibe?
Mayim Bialik
Am I gonna read everyone accurately? Right?
Jonathan Cohen
Like, ooh, I see this person need. No, it was like, I had a really shitty day at work. When is dinner and then I'm going to grade papers and then go to sleep. And my mom was the one being like, what does everyone need? Is your homework done? Let's get dinner. Here's lunch. Do this like, and with a smile.
Mayim Bialik
You know, Pete Holmes and Mike Briglia have a very funny bit. I think we were listening to it this weekend where they were like, when they were growing up, your dad was to be feared.
Jonathan Cohen
That's right.
Mayim Bialik
And now your dad is like supposed to like play with all the toys and understand how your day was and like connect emotionally.
Jonathan Cohen
Yeah. They were talking about the, the different demands and expectations. And again, a lot of this is, is in many ways determined as a luxury, I think for women as well. And I think we forget that for single, for single parent homes, something like 80%, you know, Scott said is, is women. Those women typically are also working. These are not women of luxury who are home, you know, being supported by some outside force. These are women who are single moms. I mean, his mom, right? They are out working. You're letting yourself in at the end of the day, like when your mom is still at work, right? You're taking care of yourself until your mom gets home. So even for, for mothers to have that notion of like, this was a. It's a luxury. And so much of it connects to economics, which is why, even though I don't agree with Scott on all things, and I do think this is a very heteronormative kind of conversation, which is still important to have, I do think he's kind of right on in tracking the connection between the economics and the. The sociology.
Mayim Bialik
We used to joke that my dad would be so emotionally aware at work, like, he had 200 people that he was all navigating, you know, what this person needs that person. And he would come home, he would play. But I wouldn't say that he was like, gauging the emotional reality of the house in a moment by, like, he had just worked. He was. Been out of the house from 8 to 6:30. He comes home. He was very consistent about, like, when he came home, we would go downstairs and we played floor hockey. We had like, this basement rec room. And he would. I remember I have one of my first memories as I don't know how old I would have been, maybe probably three, four years old, is we had these nets in the basement. And my brother was, like, moving around three and a half years older than me. And my dad would always make, like, time for, like, me to take the shot too, and be inclusive.
Jonathan Cohen
So, like, what was your mom doing?
Mayim Bialik
Well, she was working at the time also. Right, right. She was. She was a teacher. And so she would be out of the house and come back, but she was, you know, she had dinner on the table.
Jonathan Cohen
Right.
Mayim Bialik
And it was like, when your dad gets home. But, like, I think we would have eaten first at that age. It's a little fuzzy, the memory. But, like, we had eaten and then he would come home. But, like, dad coming home was like, a really big deal.
Jonathan Cohen
And your family also, you had help, right?
Mayim Bialik
We had help as well. Two working parents. And then we had. We had support in the house. But I do remember also that if we were too bad, like, causing my mother. And this is years later, like, do.
Jonathan Cohen
You mean having too many needs?
Mayim Bialik
No, if we were like, my brother and I were fighting.
Jonathan Cohen
Yes.
Mayim Bialik
We weren't like. So if we weren't, like, helping around the house, it was when your father gets home.
Jonathan Cohen
There was a point that Scott talked about. His first marriage ended. And the way that he describes it in his book, he said that they went into couples therapy. It's actually. It's a very funny part of the book. He and his first wife went into couples therapy and they started, you know, talk the way you do in couples therapy. Like, here's My complaints. And here's my. And the therapist was like, she wants.
Mayim Bialik
Too many Sesame street band aids. I can't provide them.
Jonathan Cohen
The therapist said, it's really not as important, like, who said what? Who needs what? Blobbity blue. He said to. The therapist, said to Scott, there's a town called Marytown. There's a town called Singletown. You get to decide which you want to live in. Marytown gets you a person sleeping next to you, a person who will gauge your needs, a person who will be available to you. The. The price is you also have to be available to them. And generally speaking, it. It's gonna. It's not gonna feel like a 10. It'll be a 7 or 8. That's Marytown, and that person's always gonna be there. Singletown. There is a very high probability that most of the time, it's not even gonna be a 7. Sometimes you'll get a 10, but we're not sure, and you'll be by yourself. And the therapist said to him, do you want Mary Town or do you want single town? And he said, I want Singletown. And that was the end of therapy, and they got divorced. And he said that looking back, he sees how he just wasn't ready to be married. They were probably too young. But I think that's very interesting because I think so many of us, especially for those of us who got married young, we're trying to. To fit right what we think we want. We want this or we want that or he wants this or he wants that. If you're with someone who clearly wants to be in Singletown, don't try and make them want to be in Marytown. I think that goes for also when you're dating someone too, because it doesn't.
Mayim Bialik
Matter what the details of the conflict are correct.
Jonathan Cohen
If ultimately he's like, I'll just eat leftover pizza, drink beer, with the possibility that I'll get to have, like, amazing, anonymous sex with someone once a. I don't know, once a month, once every three months. I don't know how much people have sex. Some people just want that. And other people would be like, I'd rather have a more, you know, mediocre kind of existence. But knowing that someone's there for me when I'm hurt, when I'm scared, when I'm sad. I could have kids with them in a different way.
Mayim Bialik
So I think it's emotional maturity. Obviously, there's a dynamic between the two people.
Jonathan Cohen
Yes.
Mayim Bialik
Has a big part in it. But sometimes, especially men who haven't gone through this need to experience how empty Singletown is for a period of time because he described he was in New York, he was only leaving his house for a certain amount of time.
Jonathan Cohen
But the Internet has changed what Singletown looks like. That's what I think he's talking about, is that the. The scope of what alone looks like. You don't suffer as much because you can have this. More access to people, you have more access to it. Well, you can have a fake relationship with a chatbot. You can even have some sort of sexual interaction. We didn't even get into talking about porn and what he sees as porn affecting relationships and online porn in particular and how that, you know, shifts things. But, yeah, I think single doesn't feel like single. Used to.
Mayim Bialik
It's easier to distract from how long.
Jonathan Cohen
Well, and. And you can, for a price. You. You won't feel that loneliness the same.
Mayim Bialik
Way for a certain period of time.
Jonathan Cohen
For sure. Yeah. And by the time you get tired of it, you don't have the skills because you should have developed them in your teens and in your 20s to be able to interact with real people, deal with rejection, deal with all those things that come with being out in the world trying to have sex with people. What did he say? Pursue sex.
Mayim Bialik
That's actually one of the most terrifying warnings that if you weren't totally tracking, you may have missed, which is you're going to distract yourself for a while. It's not going to feel bad. You're going to avoid the immediate pain of rejection by placating yourself, by distracting yourself, by going looking at digital content, whatever that may be, a chat bot or videos or whatever. And you're not going to feel the rejection. You're not going to have your heart race and be like, what am I going to say? I'm going to look stupid. But by those time you figure out how empty it is, years can have gone by, a decade could go by. You could have wasted all of those moments and opportunities. You can't just replicate that well.
Jonathan Cohen
And I think that's sort of the point. You cannot play catch up if you've missed that sort of critical period. For many men, as he's talking about, for many men, you cannot just get that back. It's not like, oh, well, I wanted to fuck around in my 20s. Now that I'm 35, I'm going to see what it's like. No, because you haven't built that muscle of resilience or, you know, the ability to kind of engage in that way.
Mayim Bialik
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Jonathan Cohen
Experian.
Scott Galloway
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Mayim Bialik
Today is why we wear the uniform. ABC Tonight, the rookie returns to ensure the safety of all Angelena.
Scott Galloway
Try not to mess it up.
Mayim Bialik
I'll do my best. But don't do your best. Do my best. And for the first time ever, this is a global operation. It's an international sting. LAPD has agreed to help the FBI.
Scott Galloway
Track down terrorist targets. Nothing like a day in the job.
Jonathan Cohen
To remind you how quickly life can change. Get out of there.
Mayim Bialik
The rookie season premiere tonight, 109 Central on ABC next day for Hulu subscribers. Not to make this so hopeless, like I do think that if you are in your early 30s, 35, and you've spent your 20s not being able to activate those social skills, I don't think you're lost. I don't think that's where you end up forever. But no, you have to recognize it. You are taking work. It does take work. It does take catch up. You may have emotional atrophy almost.
Jonathan Cohen
Yeah.
Mayim Bialik
You've sort of lacked some of that ability to connect and, and, and get real feedback. Like, you know, you can text someone anything and you don't know what their facial reaction is. You don't see it land when you actually have to have a conversation.
Jonathan Cohen
And yeah, and he does talk about that. Like you have to, you have to lean in to emotions. You have to learn essentially how to have emotional reactions and how to, you know, kind of to experience that, to experience it in a way that, you know, doesn't just make you attractive to other people, but makes you a You know, more well rounded person.
Mayim Bialik
I'm going to touch on divorce for a minute. We both went through it. I think the biggest misnomer that some people have in divorce is that when you get divorced that conflict or the thing that you're trying to add, the end is over. Especially if you have children. I mean it's very different actually if you don't have children. But if you have children, it doesn't end.
Jonathan Cohen
Being divorced is just like being married, except generally speaking you don't live in the same building.
Mayim Bialik
Right. Like that. I don't think a lot of people go into divorce with that understanding.
Jonathan Cohen
Well, I think a lot of people feel like, well, especially if you have young kids, which is no, you know, party. Yeah. I think there is a notion. I mean I've heard women say to me like why is he being like that? You know, after the divorce? And I'm like, cuz that's exactly how he was in the marriage. Did you think that divorcing him was going to change? He's the same person that he was. It's just now you can say to me like, oh, why is he still being like this?
Mayim Bialik
And sometimes it's worse because the way that they were was somewhat how mitigated by your closeness with them. Right. Like we balance each other out and now each person is more the extreme version of one another.
Jonathan Cohen
It's no, it's no party.
Mayim Bialik
The other thing about divorce that changes a lot, especially for men if they are not the primary parent and they have visitation is that you lose that garbage time. You lose that unstructured time because you pick up your child, you, you have them for a little bit. You want to like do all the stuff. There's a warm up, there's a transition.
Scott Galloway
Yeah.
Mayim Bialik
You know, like there's a, there's an emotional tax that happens when a child has to pack a bag. Even if you have all the stuff at their house, you know, they have to grab something, they have to grab their homework. They have to like think about being and sleeping in a different spot. There's a warmup period that happens. And you know one of the saddest moments when I knew I was about to get divorced or that that's the path that we were on. I was at the shared house, we had still, we still had this apartment and my son was 6 at the time and he was running around. I don't know why he was in his underwear but like it often happens, it just happens. And he was helping do the laundry and it was a top Loading machine and all the wet. And he loved helping to do laundry. He just was like super into doing ch around the house. So I wish that was still the case. And he had climbed up into the washing machine. He was standing with his feet in the washing machine so he could reach the wet clothes. And then he was taking the wet clothes and leaning over and throwing them into the dryer. And I was like, that's the type of thing that you miss as a parent when you don't have that unstructured time is these unexpected moments where your kids are just doing random things that it's just hard to replicate when they're not totally free and carefree and you know, when they're not thinking about all the things they have to manage. I want to talk about two more pieces. One is mandatory community service and the other is shoulder to shoulder connection that he talks about. He describes how men often connect shoulder to shoulder versus face to face. And, and it's interesting because I, I started to think about that with male friends and female friends. Yeah, female friends are, you walk into a coffee shop, they're sitting cross legged on the pillow in the window and.
Jonathan Cohen
They'Re looking at each other and talking.
Mayim Bialik
They'Re staring at each other and they're holding each other's gaze and they're connecting about all the difficult things they have and all the dreams and hopes. And men are sitting playing video games, talking about something or they're doing sports together. Doing sports together or they're sitting watching something and it's less. Do I have moments with my male friends where like even I have a couple dog friend dads and when we're hanging out, usually we're sitting next to each other on a park bench or when we're standing, we're kind of standing almost like at an angle. And you know, female dog friends, they're kind of, they square up differently. I don't, not everyone, of course. It's a generalization.
Jonathan Cohen
I mean, look, part of it is the difference between kind of male and female socialization. I don't think the goal is to make them the same. But I think, you know, what Scott's talking about and what we're talking about is like if there's less and less opportunity for men to even be shoulder to shoulder, you know, what does that do in terms of, you know, how they structure their lives around their sense of loneliness? Right. And you know, when you look at, you know, the activities that men do tend to do. Yeah, they do tend to be those kind of like shoulder to Shoulder. I mean, he talks a lot about, you know, the role of some compulsory service that, you know, for men to. He talks about Boy Scouts and things like that, but that there's meaningful, you know, kind of work. And also, you know, he believes in sort of honing those protective mechanisms that he believes are kind of innate to men. And those kinds of activities will stimulate that. Working together, building things together, building towards something. You know, he talks also about, you know, labor, the kind of labor, like shop, Right. When he talked about, like, wood shop and metal shop, which was typically like, guys like, that's what I. I mean, we still had that when I was in. When I was in school. That's, you know, how long ago it was.
Mayim Bialik
The two activities that have replicated that for me have been. When I was younger, I got the chance to go on a canoe trip.
Jonathan Cohen
Oh, yes.
Mayim Bialik
With. There was nine people, three boats. You're carrying everything on your back for five days. You go in with your food in your backpack, your tents, everything. And you are together in that activity, right? Like your survival, your ability to navigate. If one person gets injured, you like, you can't carry the other things.
Jonathan Cohen
You gotta figure it out.
Mayim Bialik
You gotta figure it out. And there was something about working together in that way that creates a pair bond across the entire group that is unlike anything else. And I had such a good time.
Jonathan Cohen
Doing a pair bond. If it's a group bond.
Mayim Bialik
Yeah, you're right. That it was so emotionally connecting that I just, like. I loved it. I love being out in nature. I like the hard work, your long, long days. I mean, those pushing yourself physically.
Jonathan Cohen
Being outdoors, you know, physical activity and being in a brotherhood.
Mayim Bialik
A little bit of danger, right? Because you're navigating the elements, there's Sometimes you're getting.
Jonathan Cohen
It builds resilience. It builds the feeling of, I can do this, I can fix this. I can, you know, surpass this tent pole breaks.
Mayim Bialik
You gotta figure it out.
Jonathan Cohen
And look, it's a lot. A lot of military service does incorporate that. And that's true for women as well who joined the military. You know, these kind of notions of team building and those, you know, kind of quote, masculine qualities, as it were.
Mayim Bialik
When I found filmmaking many years later, it replicated that group activity in some ways. In some ways, not every way. Not. Not the camping, not the blah, blah, blah, but like independent filmmaking where we had no money. We had to figure it out. We had to beg, borrow and steal. You had to ask people for favors. It was like a small, ragtag group of people all on the same mission. That's kind of what fed that for me. So when he talks about compulsory service, I think it solves actually a few problems. I think people get very scared about anything that's mandated, and they have to do it.
Jonathan Cohen
Right now, we don't have an opinion about it. We're just talking about it. Well, no, because I think it brings up a lot of other issues.
Mayim Bialik
Absolutely. There's an enormous amount of potential issues and how is it managed and, you know, access. But I think it. The upside is, is that in sense of meaning, the sense of purpose, the connection to other people and also connection to country.
Jonathan Cohen
And I think in talks about patriotism.
Mayim Bialik
Of having some form of way where we have a larger connection and believe that the place we are has value and that you can connect with other people who also feel like that we're. We're in a difficult, difficult place.
Jonathan Cohen
There's something that. That I also feel like needs a lot more refinement, really, for people in relationships. The difference between, you know, a sensitive partner and what he described as kind of a overly sensitive partner.
Mayim Bialik
You know, we were conflating two things.
Jonathan Cohen
In the language there. His example was funny, But I do think it's a semantic distinction, because I don't think most women would say, I want someone who's not sensitive. Right. When I say sensitive, what do you think? When I say I'd like a sensitive man to be my partner, what does that mean?
Mayim Bialik
It's actually tied back to what we were talking about in how the role of the father has evolved.
Jonathan Cohen
Nope.
Mayim Bialik
Yeah, it is. Just listen. Follow me here for a second. Follow me here for a second. Doesn't feel like when we were misbehaving as children, dad would come down and sometimes he would just, like, yell and throw something. And I'm not saying my dad per se. I'm saying dads in general. Like, there was a lot more tolerance for, like, dads to just, like, they're gonna stop whatever's happening in the house through having a larger emotional outburst than the people having the emotional outbursts. And what I would say sensitivity is, is being able to allow someone to have an emotional experience and having the wherewithal to navigate your reaction to that and not telling them they're wrong, not telling them to stop it, not telling them they're crazy. To be able to actually connect with them enough to be able to say, there's an emotion that's happening, there's a need that may be unmet here. And how am I gonna navigate that?
Jonathan Cohen
Right. I mean, Yes, I think that is a concise and astute set of observations. I think. Yeah, I want someone who doesn't shut down my feelings. Yeah. Who kind of allows me to have my feelings. They don't have to be that person's feelings, but they're mine. And I think also I'm interested in someone who's aware of the world around them enough to pick up on things. I'm looking to the other ladies in the room like I want. Yeah. I'm looking for. And not just a man, but a partner. Right. A partner who is sensitive to the world around them, you know, world being.
Mayim Bialik
Other people around them.
Jonathan Cohen
Yeah, yeah, I think so. And you know, there's obviously a lot of variability here in what people want from relationships in general. But yeah, I think. And I do. I have friends who have very close relationships with gay men. And one of the things that sometimes people say is I like being friends with a gay man because he is. He's as emotional as I am. You know, if it's someone who's on that spectrum of emotional.
Mayim Bialik
And that's not to say that it's not because they're gonna be so sexy, just the ones that they found.
Jonathan Cohen
Right. But I'm saying that a lot of, A lot of women enjoy the of. Of a man in that sense because it's not the same as the sensitivity of a woman, but it has many benefits. I don't know if that's a weird point to make.
Mayim Bialik
One of the things that having a child helped me do was to tolerate someone who has having a high level of emotion that I did not have a solution for. And there's something like. I forget the phrase exactly. But it's like you can't allow what you can't experience or what you haven't allowed yourself to experience. So I think many men may be able to relate to a female friend or partner having a large emotional experience and them wanting it to stop.
Jonathan Cohen
Whether we're talking about same sex partners or opposite sex partners. I do not want to be in a situation where the person that I'm with is as emotional as I am at any given time.
Mayim Bialik
That's just your profile.
Jonathan Cohen
Meaning some people would like to both be sitting in the car crying.
Mayim Bialik
Well, just some people may. It's possible maybe their profile isn't sitting in the car crying. Their profile is feeling deeply. And they want someone else to feel as deeply as them at and match them.
Jonathan Cohen
And look, this brings up a much larger issue of like, in any relationship, whether it's two women, two Men, a man and a woman, non binary people, like, whatever it is we, we want to. We are allowed to have a difference in how we want relationships to function. So some women might be like, I really want to date someone, male or female, who's as emotionally sensitive as I am, because that satisfies something. And I think a balance is good, which is why historically, you know, masculine men and feminine women have paired up. That's off, you know, but it's a spectrum.
Mayim Bialik
Where are you going with this?
Jonathan Cohen
I think that what Scott is talking about in this book is primarily, you know, a heteronormative situation where it is assumed that you do not want two people who are completely unemotional and you don't want two people who are completely very, very, very, very emotional. And so somewhere in between is what we're looking for. And he really is asking for men, in this case, for men to step up, lean more into their emotions so that they are viable partners and good partners, while still being able to maintain a lot of these, what he calls masculine qualities of being able to provide and protect and those sorts of things. I'm also an excellent parallel parker.
Mayim Bialik
You are fantastic, actually. Very impressive. Even without a backup camera.
Jonathan Cohen
There's also very few things that I brag about. I'm a good parallel parker. I'm an excellent whistler.
Mayim Bialik
You are a very good whistler. You blow a good chauffeur.
Jonathan Cohen
Yeah, but I'm not as good as other people.
Mayim Bialik
Okay.
Jonathan Cohen
I know that parallel parking is like. It's a thing.
Mayim Bialik
I want to connect the emotional availability to synthetic relationships, pornography, and what may be the largest risk yet that is potent, that has the potential to influence men, that and needs to be warned about if you're in a synthetic relationship that is constantly only one way and requires no emotional bandwidth from you, and it is positive reinforcing and giving you that hit of dopamine every single time. Anytime you ask a question, it's there. It's giving it to you. Your ability to change the speed at which you're operating and then be bidirectional instead of unidirectional, I think increases in difficulty. The same is true if you are watching sexual content and your brain is lighting up and you're deriving dopamine from that switching to a different speed of real human interaction where you have to be vulnerable. We've heard experts describe that, that people who are watching a lot of sexual content, it's not often even about the sexual content. It's actually a mask to avoid feeling emotionally. It's a band aid. And so if you are constantly in a state where you're emotionally numbing out, whether it be through that content or through a synthetic relationship, it's going to be harder for you. And that's really what interacting is, is a unidirectional relationship where you have to feel and you have to be in emotional interactions.
Jonathan Cohen
And more specifically, you have to hear no. And I think that's really. I think it's very terrifying for men and for women. And one of the things that I'm learning about AI is that it doesn't say no. And so anytime you're in a relationship or in an interaction, like he said, sometimes you need to be told, like, you smoke too much weed. I don't want to have sex with you. Right. And that's not going to come from this kind of synthetic, as you're calling it, relationship. And it's all the more problematic when you think of young people who are being primed on this. You know, one of the examples, you know, that he gave is what if the child is young enough that they really don't understand the difference between a person and a character that is terrifying. And you think about that, that age of wonder and imagination that that kids have that we all had, right? Imagine putting on that, this film, right, of desirability and agreeability and all these things. That's terrifying. And there's devastating, devastating suicides. And the reports that parents are making is that this relationship convinced my child that there was something waiting for them on the other side that they believed in.
Mayim Bialik
And when the AI or the chatbot adopts the Persona of a film character that they have a relationship with through the film, all of a sudden it's like, well, didn't you want your characters, your My Little Ponies or Care Bears to come to life? And now all of a sudden they're communicating with you in a similar way that the.
Jonathan Cohen
I mean, now it sounds like a horror film.
Mayim Bialik
It kind of is. Yes, there can be regulation. Yes, they need. And we have to push politicians to age gate so that these are not available for people under the age of 18.
Jonathan Cohen
We've been talking about that with porn for years. It doesn't work. I mean, does it work? I don't know.
Mayim Bialik
I don't know. There's VPNs, and I guess there's ways to get around it. But of course, at least there should.
Jonathan Cohen
Be some way to get around something.
Mayim Bialik
Valerie just said that in Arizona, they just launched a law that you have to. To upload a Picture of your ID in order to prove who you are. So that it's an attempt to limit access. Yes. We want governments to act, we want there to be safety nets. And also we need to be able to educate ourselves and warn about the potential use even for people who are older and of age. Right. We can't control people who are adults, but we can, like cigarettes, warn about the potential impacts that are still really being understood about these digital systems. And then the one that's on the rise right now is, and Scott calls it the potential next opioid crisis, which is prediction markets and online gambling, which is basically you can make a bet on anything. I could bet what the next Mayim Bialix breakdown guest would be. I could make a bet on how many times mime says a certain word. That's a bingo game I play. But sports betting, world life events, is this person on trial going to get off with this number of like. It expands betting to the point where it is, it becomes so addictive that it, you know, it's already addiction, it's already addictive in the current forms, but they're expanding access, expanding availability and expanding what it is that you can bet on. And you know, talk about maybe the underdeveloped male brain that is even more susceptible to this.
Jonathan Cohen
I don't wanna say underdeveloped, but it develops at a different pace. And that's actually something I was thinking about. I was like, I mean, I have this, you know, global theory that people used to get married much younger. You know, the culture sort of allowed for it. It was the only way out of your parents home, especially if you were female and you would get married and you would hope that you grew together. I mean, that's the best way to describe it. When I think of my mom getting married at 18, just before she turned 19, she was not pregnant. My dad was two, you know, two and a half years older than her. You know, the hope was that you grow together. You're kind of like siblings, though. You're basically like roommates in college who are gonna be together forever. Right? Like that's the sort of dream. And what I know is that my parents came from a similar enough background, a similar enough structuring that they grew together. And they were together for 53 years. And other people that I know whose parents kind of, you know, experienced that kind of like young marriage. Some of them, they didn't really grow together. And it was very, very upsetting. And there wasn't an option for divorce. And then you're Just like kind of raised in that. But I think of that still with how many women. I mean, the cost of divorce, he listed as, you know, about $8,000. I know so many people who cannot get divorced, they cannot support themselves. They cannot even afford to do that kind of paperwork. And usually the story is he won't leave, he won't get out. Right. That notion also of what does it look like for relationships shifting, especially as we talk about the maturation. It's not that the male brain has changed that significantly. It's that the culture surrounding it. Right. Has provided a different set of opportunities both for men and for women. You know, take home message from this episode. We needed the women's movement to get us where, where we're at. And it's incredibly significant, powerful and important that women have the roles that they have. It should not be in place of men also being supported so that they have outcomes that are also advantageous, not just for them, but for the relationships that they will be in.
Mayim Bialik
What did you think about him saying boys are emotionally and neurologically weaker?
Jonathan Cohen
I mean, I, I think, think, I think that that's true. I think it's true in terms of kind of, you know, hormonal development. You know, girls being more mature than boys is something anecdotally that many of us experience. If you've, you know, looked at a group of 15 year old boys and a group of 15 year old girls, it's true. It kind of looks like women and, you know, and, and children and, and I think, you know, the notion that the frontal lobe is not going to develop by 25 for men, there is a reason, you know, and I think anybody who's tried to date someone under 25 can probably vouch for that. Like, if you can't rent a car, should you really be dating?
Mayim Bialik
I'll leave that to the audience.
Jonathan Cohen
Well, it's something I talk about with my sons. I mean, I'm kind of saying this tongue in cheek, but I try and explain what are the things that, you know, that our society has made rules about. One of them is that your car insurance is exorbitantly expensive. If you're a MALE before you're 25, that's telling us something about the decision making, the impulse control and, you know, the ability to kind of orient. And yes, that is reflected, you know, for many people in the dating arena.
Mayim Bialik
In academics, avoid drugs, avoid alcohol and.
Jonathan Cohen
Avoid gambling and avoid driving before you're 25 late at night.
Mayim Bialik
The last thing about these prediction markets, and I would say this is for synthetic relationships too. Is it a neurological weapon? Are these exploiting biological disadvantages in men?
Jonathan Cohen
You know, I think of Kyra Bobinet and the, you know, this kind of hack, right, that we have. We have an ability to kind of stop this sort of dopamine craving. And, yeah, neurologically, there's definitely something different to. To the male brain, especially in these developmental phases that Scott is talking about. You know, I think there is an opportunity there, and one of the main opportunities, Guess what? Is to try and get them off their phones to get them less attached to a synthetic relationship in the first place, even if it's one that is providing information flow.
Mayim Bialik
Yeah, I know you're all listening to us digitally, but we're not synthetic. We're real people. And we encourage you to go have relationships with other real people. You can also find more of our relationship and the relationships with each of you on substack. Mayim Bialik's breakdown on substack.
Jonathan Cohen
And from our breakdown to the one we hope you never have. We'll see you next time.
Mayim Bialik
It's Mayim Bialix breakdown. She's gonna break it down for you. She's got a neuroscience PhD or two, and now she's gonna break down. So break down. She's gonna break it down.
Podcast Title: Mayim Bialik's Breakdown
Episode: Part Two: America Is Facing a Five-Alarm Crisis and It’s Affecting Men, Women, and the Future of Us All
Guest: Scott Galloway
Release Date: January 14, 2026
In part two of their wide-ranging discussion, Mayim Bialik and Jonathan Cohen continue the conversation with Scott Galloway, focusing on the intersection of masculinity, loneliness, technology’s impact (from AI to digital relationships), and evolving family and social dynamics. The episode addresses pressing issues afflicting men—particularly the loss of connection, rising digital risks, and societal instability—while also critically assessing possible solutions and the broader implications for families and communities.
Anchored in both sweeping analysis and down-to-earth anecdotes, this episode is an unflinching look at the mental health crisis facing American men—and the ripple effects for society at large. With empathy and candor, Scott Galloway, Mayim Bialik, and Jonathan Cohen break down both the dangers and the possible paths forward, reminding listeners that meaningful connection and emotional growth are the heart of resilience.
For further exploration, check out Scott Galloway’s book "The Algebra of Wealth," referenced throughout the episode.