E61 How to define your personal values

Summary

---

Podcast Summary: Mayo Clinic On Human Optimization

Episode 61: How to Define Your Personal Values

Released: June 3, 2026
Host: Dr. Chris Camp, Director of High Performance for the Minnesota Twins, Sports Medicine Surgeon
Guest: Bridget Berklin, Manager of Employee Wellbeing at Mayo Clinic Rochester, National Board Certified Health and Wellness Coach

---

Episode Overview

This episode explores the central role of personal values in combating burnout, increasing resilience, elevating well-being, and optimizing human performance. Dr. Chris Camp and Bridget Berklin examine what personal values are, why many people struggle to define and live by them, and provide practical advice for listeners to articulate and act upon their own values.

---

Key Discussion Points & Insights

1. What Are Personal Values?

[02:13–08:39]

• Definition:
  • Simple: "Values are deeply held beliefs that define what matters most." (Bridget Berklin, 02:27)
  • Expanded: "They create a GPS for what we think, feel, do, which forms our identity to live a purpose driven life and reach our highest potential." (A, 02:27)
• Distinguishing Values from Related Concepts:
  • Preferences: Preferences are things we like (e.g., green tea); values guide behaviors across situations and persist over time. (A, 03:15)
  • Goals: Goals can be completed ("doing" goals) or ongoing ("being" goals); values are ongoing and never fully completed. (A, 03:44)
  • Personality Traits: Traits are innate (e.g., introvert); values are chosen and can be supported by traits but are distinct. (A, 04:26)
  • Interests: Temporary hobbies (e.g., playing pickleball) may support values but can change without altering core values. (A, 04:51)
  • Vision, Purpose, Mission:
    • Purpose is the fuel; Vision is the destination; Mission is the daily how; Values are the GPS that guide all. (A, 05:53)

Notable Quote

"Values is the GPS. It guides our behaviors. Purpose is the fuel. Vision is the destination. Mission, daily actions." (A, 08:36)

---

2. Qualities of Well-Articulated Values

[09:22–11:29]

• Authentic: They must be personal. Comparison robs contentment. (A, 09:47)
• Actionable: Must be possible to create "being goals" to live them out. (A, 10:10)
• Aligned: Should connect to your purpose, mission, and vision. (A, 11:11)
• Anchors: Serve as stability points in times of change. (A, 11:17)

Notable Example

• Bridget tells of "Julie," who felt conflicted about using her free time for family instead of research. Validating her authentic value of family reduced her guilt. (A, 09:47)

---

3. Benefits of Defining and Living Your Values

[11:49–18:04]

• Behavioral Guidance: Help decide what commitments to take on.
• Energy Management: Determine where to best focus time and energy.
• Decision Support: Aid in making career or life decisions aligned with what matters most.
• Conflict Navigation: Facilitate compromise by surfacing the real drivers behind disagreements.
• Identity Shaping: Allow individuals to intentionally define self-identity rather than defaulting to conformity.
• Well-being: Value congruence increases engagement, meaning, resilience, and lowers anxiety and burnout. (A, 15:05)
• Performance: Values-aligned ("self-congruent") goals are more motivating and lead to higher goal achievement and life satisfaction. (A reference to study by Sheldon and Elliot, 16:35)

Memorable Moment

"When your values align with your organization's values, you never have to work another day in your life because it becomes like a calling." (A, 15:05)

---

4. Why Do We Struggle to Define and Live Our Values?

[18:22–25:32]

• Lack of Awareness: Few people can list their values without deep reflection. (A, 18:41)
• Common Mistakes:
  • Not seeing or reviewing values ("losing sight of the GPS").
  • Adopting values from environment or culture rather than from within.
  • Not having a routine to revisit and refine them. (A, 19:44)
• Aspirational vs. Lived Values:
  Need to distinguish between aspirational (future, stretch goals) and actionable (current behaviors). Aim for values that are both aspirational enough for growth and actionable enough to achieve. (A, 22:36)
• Competing Values:
  It is common to feel tension between values (e.g., family vs. work). Scheduling and intentionally balancing time can help manage this. (A, 24:38)

Notable Quote

"Comparison robs us of contentment, so do the best version of you." (A, 09:53)

---

5. Practical Steps to Define and Live Your Values

[26:21–38:00]

Bridget Berklin’s 5-Step Process:

1. Self-Awareness:
   • Reflect on your story, key experiences (both positive and negative), and what energizes or frustrates you.
2. Gather Information:
   • Generate a draft list of potential values via assessments, reflecting on meaningful or tense moments, feedback from others. (A, 26:55–28:20)
3. Create Being Goals:
   • Turn each value into a statement: "I practice my value of [value] by being [action]." (A, 28:46)
4. Test and Edit:
   • Try living your values for a few weeks, then review which are authentic and which may be too aspirational or not relevant.
5. Review and Reiterate:
   • Set reminders (calendar, post-its, digital notes); revisit and refine regularly to maintain alignment. (A, 28:46–30:21)

Tips & Examples:

• Short List: Aim for 3–7 concise, deeply meaningful values.
• Use Environmental Cues: Keep your values visible.
• Link to Action: Connect values to how you allocate time and money.

Host’s Personal Example [32:54–35:32]:

• Dr. Camp’s Five Values:
  1. Hope – optimism with agency.
  2. Growth – continuous improvement, resisting stagnation.
  3. Wisdom – not just knowledge, but wise application.
  4. Joy – enjoyment even amid challenge.
  5. Simplicity – making the complex clear and accessible.
• Values can be single words or phrases but must be clearly understood and actionable for you.

Can Your Values Change?

Yes, some will remain over a lifetime, some may evolve with major life events or transitions. Revisit regularly without pressure for finality. (A, 35:32)

---

Memorable Quotes & Moments

• "If you complete that running goal, what values are you supporting?" – A coaching strategy linking action to core values. (A, 16:35)
• "You have all of the answers inside of you. You just have to make sure you're asking the right questions." – Encouragement for the self-discovery process. (B, 31:58)
• "There's real value in knowing our values because they create a GPS which forms our identity to live a purpose driven life, reach our highest potential, support our well being and give our best back to this world." (A, 40:54)

---

Recommended Action & Takeaways

• Challenge: Complete Step 1 (self-awareness) and Step 2 (gather a list) this week.
• List Your Values: Aim for 3–7. Make them authentic, actionable, and meaningful.
• Regular Review: Set reminders to reflect and update your values as needed.
• Connect to Goals and Actions: Formulate "being goals" for each value.
• Audit: Periodically check if your time and spending align with your values.
• Give Yourself Grace: It’s normal for your values and understanding to evolve.

---

Segment Timestamps

• [02:13] – Defining personal values
• [05:53] – Differentiating values from vision, purpose, mission
• [09:22] – Four key qualities of values
• [11:49] – Benefits to well-being and performance
• [18:22] – Why defining values is difficult and common pitfalls
• [22:36] – Aspirational vs. actionable values and mitigating competing values
• [26:21] – Five-step process for articulating your values
• [32:54] – Host and guest share personal values
• [35:32] – Values evolving over time and practical living tips
• [40:54] – Final takeaways and challenge

---

Tone & Style

The episode is conversational, empathetic, and practical, with metaphors (e.g., "values as GPS"), real-life coaching stories, and research evidence added throughout. Both speakers demonstrate vulnerability and encourage audience reflection, blending scientific rigor with accessible examples.

---

Final Words

"There's real value in knowing our values because they create a GPS which forms our identity to live a purpose driven life, reach our highest potential, support our well being and give our best back to this world."
— Bridget Berklin [40:54]

---

Transcript

[A]

When we have clear values and we live them out during times of adversity, it actually increases our resilience and decreases and lowers our anxiety. Burnout, depression.

[B]

This is Mayo Clinic on Human Optimization, a podcast where we break down the science of human potential to help you understand how purpose driven effort leads to high level performance and long term well being. I'm Dr. Chris for Camp, Director of High Performance for the Minnesota Twins and a sports medicine surgeon with Mayo Clinic. Life offers plenty of nice, concrete, mostly attainable goals for us to chase and boxes to check. Good job, life partner, maybe a house, maybe kids. But that's also the classic recipe for a midlife crisis. You work your butt off to get a bunch of those boxes checked, only to find yourself exhausted and unfulfilled or wondering, now what? So how do we ground our goals to make sure we're putting our energy into things that really matter? This episode we're joined by Bridget Berklin, Manager of Employee Wellbeing at Mayo Clinic in Rochester. She's a National Board Certified Health and Wellness coach and she's here to help us learn to combat burnout by aligning our daily actions with our deepest personal and professional values. The three big questions we have for her today are number one, what are personal values and what role do they play in our daily lives? Number two, why do so many of us struggle to define our values and put them into action? And then in our third section, we'll get into some solutions when we ask what practical steps can we take to clearly articulate our values and and then use them to drive meaning and inform behavior in our lives. Bridget, thank you so much for joining us today. We're really excited to have you on and talk about this.

[A]

Thank you Chris. It's an honor to be here with you and I'm grateful for the opportunity to talk with you about values.

[B]

Well, I think this topic is really foundational and it sort of sets the stage for all the other topics. So let's get started here in our first section and I like to start with definitions. So I want to hear from you, what exactly are personal values in practical terms?

[A]

So I have a simple definition and an expanded version. So the simple definition are Values are deeply held beliefs that define what matters most. I would add on to that that they create a GPS of what we think, feel, do, which forms our identity to live a purpose driven life and reach our highest potential.

[B]

And that does a really good job of putting some sort of concrete terms into what I think most people feel is a very abstract thing. One of the problems with it being somewhat abstract is that it's very easy to get it confused with a lot of other things in this area. So I kind of want to ask you about a few things that I think are commonly confused for values. So can you tell me, how are values different from personal preferences?

[A]

Those are things we like and values are really what behaviors that we can apply across situations. So maybe I value which I do well, being and a preference. Would I like to support that? Well, being might be I prefer to drink green tea over some maybe sugary drink. But that preference could change throughout time.

[B]

The preference could change even if the value stays the same as you're saying. Okay, so next, how are values often confused with goals?

[A]

So I like to say there's two different type of goals. There's doing goals that can be completed and then there's being goals which are ongoing. So I think values can be confused with what I call doing goals. They're time bound. So again, say I value which I do growth mindset. A doing goal might be I am going to complete one training this month to support that value or listen to one of your podcasts to grow and learn.

[B]

Okay. And I've always heard that you can arrive at a goal, but you never finish living a value. Correct. Is that fair to say?

[A]

It's ongoing?

[B]

Yes. Okay, great. All right, what about personality traits? So I know values need to be individualized, but how are they different than personality traits?

[A]

So personality traits are an innate disposition. So I'm introverted, extroverted, or I'm creative. However, they can also support our values. So maybe I'm just naturally creative and it supports my value of being, you know, creativity in my professional and personal life.

[B]

Okay, and then my last one for you. How are values different from our interest? So things that we like, enjoy, or we find interesting.

[A]

So maybe temporary hobbies. So an example, if I value. Well, being a temporary hobby might be like pickleball. Have you tried pickleball?

[B]

I have.

[A]

Okay. I've tried it. Stay out of the kitchen. I know there's a rule there.

[B]

See you. Why? It's addictive. Yeah.

[A]

And it's passing interest. So maybe I'm playing pickleball for a few months and then transition to some other type of activity. So it's a temporary hobby and that's what makes it different.

[B]

Okay. All of these things can be interconnected. Right. So our, our interests and our hobbies and our personal traits and our preferences can all go into shaping what our values are and probably vice versa. Our Values shape those things as well. Okay. A few of the other related concepts that we talk about in addition to values are vision, purpose, and mission. And we have separate episodes dedicated to each of those. So we won't go in too deep into what those things are, but I think it's at least worth distinguishing how values are related to those things. But maybe different than. So maybe you define values for us. What are your thoughts on vision? How is that related?

[A]

Yeah, I think in order to maybe differentiate each of those, maybe I'll just share a little bit about my personal story and how it shaped my values and then just give a little definition of each of those. So I've been at Mayo Clinic since 2007, all in the wellbeing space, designing leading wellbeing initiatives to support our staff. And then In November of 2017, I say winter in Minnesota, cold. My husband was struggling to catch his breath, so we just simply thought he had a respiratory bug. And through a series of medical appointments, our lives literally went from normal to not so normal. When he was diagnosed with stage four melanoma, and he had tumors throughout his lung area, making it difficult to breathe, but also tumors throughout his body, and it even had metastasized his brain. And so that cancer diagnosis literally catapulted us into the patient care world, where I got to see firsthand the compassionate, excellent care given to patients like my husband, which have formed my core values as well. In November of 2017, transparently, he was only given about three months to live. However, I would say, due to many answers to prayers and the compassion and excellent care at Mayo Clinic, instead of three months, he actually lived three years and eight months. And so each day past that three month mark was just a tremendous gift to our family. There were family members, friends, strangers who helped out our family. And so I have tremendous gratitude for all of them. And so really, I have, like this fuel of gratitude to just want to give back to me clinic and the people around me. And so that ties into the definition of purpose. Purpose is the fuel. Why do I do what I do for me is as an expression of my gratitude. I support people through compassion and excellent care. Okay, so that is my fuel. I just want to give back. Then we think about vision. That's the destination. What future do I want to help create? And it's not about just me individually making that vision. It's a collective, but I'm going to do my part. So an example of a future vision might be a compassionate culture where people feel valued, supported, and able to flourish. And then the mission is the how, the daily actions, what daily actions do I need to take to accomplish that vision? So an example might be to support people through compassionate interactions, evidence based initiatives and servant leadership. So that is the how to build that compassionate culture to make people feel valued and supported. So if I had to define the differentiation. So values is the gps. It guides our behaviors. Purpose is the fuel. Why do I do what I do? Vision is the destination. What future do I hope to create? And then mission, daily actions. What daily actions do I take to accomplish that vision?

[B]

Okay, so that's an incredible summary and what an unbelievable story and what you've been through, and I can't imagine how challenging that must have been for you. And it does seem that so often our values are either tested or solidified or maybe originate or developed. When we have to go through difficult times, whether that's medical challenges or life challenges or stress or anything like that, oftentimes that can really be a time that helps us figure out who we are, what's important to us, what we want to do, why we're here, all of those different things. So what are some of the other key qualities that you think well thought out and well articulated values will embody?

[A]

I would say four qualities. Authentic, aligned, actionable, and then also they serve as anchors. So I'll just break those down. So authentic. Are they personal to you? Do they resonate with you? So I enjoy coaching others. And I was meeting with an individual. I'll just call Julie. And Julie had a very busy clinical schedule. And during her free time, she wanted to devote time to her family. And yet she was feeling this tension because colleagues were in their free time doing research and publishing papers. And so Julie felt this kind of guilt and anxiety. She wasn't focused on that during her family time. And so I just asked Julie, what matters to you most during your free time? And she's like, it's time with my family. And so really making that an authentic goal. I say comparison robs us of contentment, so do the best version of you. And so she just let that, you know, professional growth just paused it during that season of raising her kids. So make sure it's authentic. The next, I would say, is actionable. I like to look at my values and then how can I create what I call a being goal to live out that value? So for example, for me a growth mindset is, is a value. And I love brainstorming, I love learning and an observation about myself. If I'm having a conversation, say, about changes that need to happen. I can feel my amygdala fire, you know, like fear, fear. And yet I still want to live out that value of a growth mindset. So a little being statement I can say to myself is, I practice my value of a growth mindset by being open to others ideas and committed to learning. And I'll even check my body posture. Are my arms open during this conversation? Because I know great things can happen through brainstorming and change. So that's another quality. Is, are your values actionable? Third, I would say aligned. Are they aligned with your purpose, mission and vision? And then fourth, I would say anchors. Is it serving as an anchor? So in the middle of all the changes you might be experiencing, are your values anchoring you to guide you through what you think, feel and do?

[B]

There's a lot in there. I think a lot of that is going to be challenging for us to do as people. It's going to take a lot of introspection for us to really figure out who we are and sort through this. You're going to tell us how to do that in the third section. So I'm excited, excited to hear that. Okay. Can you tell me why we should be doing this? Like, what are the benefits of having well defined values? What's in it for me?

[A]

Well, we've talked about a few. First, they can guide our behaviors. Second, they can inform our mission, vision, purpose. A few other ones I'll add is they help with energy management. We all have just so much time. And so I have a little saying, there is good and there's best. So for example, I was invited to join a committee. Good opportunity. However, as I looked at my values and my other commitments to other committees and projects, I just realized it would not be best for me to say yes. And so I declined, saying now is not the best time. Check back with me in the future. And that way I can devote my energy to focusing on what is best versus just the good. So it helps with energy management. It also helps to inform our decisions. Are we going down the right path? So I have a dear friend I'll just call Lisa. And Lisa's a leader at another organization. And she had an opportunity from her manager to take a different leadership position that would require her to move. She got to travel and there's some luxury items, a condo, a traveling vehicle. And she was headed down that direction thinking, yes, I'm gonna take this position. And I just simply asked her, you know, in a typ week, what do you value most? And she's like, well, time with my family. I love mentoring my staff and I love growing through these organizations I'm involved into in my city. And I'm like, okay, play the movie forward. If you take this new position, how does it support your family? She's like, well, I'm going to be in a different state, so I'm not going to see them as much. What about mentoring? This new position does not have any mentoring opportunities. Third, what about the growth opportunities? Well, the organizations I'm currently plugged into, since I'm moving to a different state, I'm going to have to find new opportunities. So she ended up declining the position. And a few months later, I checked in and asked, how are you feeling about that decision? And she's like, I'm so grateful that I did not take it because it wouldn't truly support my values. And so that can really help us inform, are we going in the right direction? And then lastly, I'll just throw out that our values can really help us to navigate in conflict with one another because it changes our focus from positions to what really matters most to each person. So, for example, you're planning a family trip. One family member wants to register for all these shared events. The other one is like a little, maybe resistant to all these activities. Just asking, what matters most to you during this shared vacation? One might be saying, as many shared activities and fun adventures. The other would be like, stewardship of our finances. So can we find the happy medium between those values?

[B]

That's a great list. So guide our behaviors, define our vision, purpose, mission, energy management, which I'm always in support of. Inform our decisions, navigate conflict. And then I'm going to add one more. You mentioned this earlier, but I want to call it back out because I don't want people to miss it. I think shaping our identity because I think our values are a way for us to intentionally set out to determine our identity beforehand rather than doing it in a reactive way. We talk a lot about well being. You're a champion, you're a professional at it. Can you tell me how are values connected to well being?

[A]

Yeah, well, there's a few research studies, so a research study by Edwards and Cable called the Value of Value Congruence, looked at when our personal values are aligned with the organization's values that we work at. It actually improves people's engagement, increases meaning and purpose. I say when your values align with your organization's values, you never have to work another day in your life because it becomes like a calling. Another study by Kevin Hochard looked at when we have clear values and we live them out during times of adversity, it actually increases our resilience and decreases and lowers our anxiety, burnout, depression. And then lastly, a recent study in 2025 in the journal of Brain Sciences looked at, you know, growth orientated values. So the willingness to change or self transcendence, which thinks of the greater good and how we're helping them really is associated with just overall greater well being because it improves your sense of meaning in life when you're looking at how you're helping the greater good. So those are just a few of the outcomes of how our values can help us with our well being.

[B]

So a lot of wins in the well being column for living out our values and understanding. On this podcast we talk a lot about how we want to increase our well being and improve our performance simultaneously, which I think can be done. So we know that knowing our values can improve our wellbeing. Now let's talk about performance. How do understanding and living out our values improve our performance?

[A]

So in a study by Sheldon and Elliot, they looked at how values aligned goals or self congruent goals can really help us in those areas of giving us greater grit and motivation to persevere, which helps with a higher rate of goal achievement. And then it also improved greater overall well being and life satisfaction. Also important to note that just accomplishing goals does not necessarily improve our well being unless the goals are aligned with our values. And as a wellness coach, I really like helping individuals to look at their goals and how it supports their overall values. So for instance, I was working with an individual called David who was really his value was his physical health. And he set a goal of running two times a week for two miles. And I said, David, if you complete that running goal, what values are you supporting? And he's like, well, my value of shared experiences with my kids. I want to be the type of parent who can run up the steps to the top of the water slide and go down with them versus being winded or wading at the bottom. And I value being a healthy role model to my kids. So if I can complete these running goals, I'm serving as a healthy role model.

[B]

So really in the goal space, you're saying that understanding our values and living them out will not only help us achieve those goals, but it'll help us make sure that we are aiming for the right goals. Right? So it's both. We'll have better goals and we will be more likely to achieve them, both of which are wins.

[A]

Okay, so I would suggest when you are setting goals, just ask yourself, well, what values am I supporting by completing this goal?

[B]

Let's jump into the second section and we'll talk about why so many of us struggle to define our values and put them into action. So you talk to folks about this a lot. When you talk to people about it, do you feel that most of us have a clearly articulated list of values, or is it pretty rare that people have done the work to figure it out?

[A]

So, in my experience as a wellness coach, I would say most people find it challenging to list a core list of their values transparently. I've worked in the wellbeing space for many years, and I've had seasons where I didn't have my values clearly defined or even lost track of them because I'm on autopilot with the busyness of life. It kind of reminds me of a road trip where I think I know how to get to the destination so I don't turn on the GPS and I start driving and I end up lost and going in the wrong direction. And much like my life, when I've lost track of my values, I have felt lost and have headed down the wrong direction. So I would say if you're listening to this podcast and you do not have a clear list of your values, give yourself the gift of self compassion and just know that you're not alone. That many people do find it challenging.

[B]

Yes. But the good news is you're not in it alone and you're gonna give us the answer, so we're gonna teach you how to do it. Okay, so in doing this, I think one of the problems is we don't fully understand them. But also I think we may just make a lot of mistakes in trying to figure out what our values are. A lot of misconceptions. So what are common mistakes and misconceptions you see people making when it comes to knowing and articulating their values?

[A]

Well, common mistakes I see others make and I've made myself. I'll share my list. Okay, so don't see and our values so we lose sight of all the wonderful benefits of how they can help guide us, help with energy management, improve our well being. Another second mistake is adopting values versus having them being authentic to you. So adopting the values of the culture and the people around us. And then the third mistake I would say that I've experienced is just not reviewing them. Not having an intentional plan to review the values just to understand are they actionable or, you know, are they kind of Needing a chance to, to be edited.

[B]

This is great. And I think that concept of adopting others values is really easy to do because if you look at a list of values or I ask anybody, I'm sure if you tell me your values, I'm say, oh, I like all of those things. Right. Most of them are going to be admirable and positive, but that doesn't necessarily mean they're specific to me. And so you don't want to take advantage. Just because a value sounds positive and helpful doesn't necessarily mean that it's linked to your core being and who you are. So you have to be careful with that. So why do you think most of us haven't really taken the time to sit down and reflect on this and figure this out and sort it out for ourselves?

[A]

Well, you said this keyword time. It takes time and intentionality. And also if we don't see the value and the benefits, we're not going to do it. So I think that is probably the biggest barrier.

[B]

I think also as a society, it's just not something that we talk about or ask people about. It's very rare that, that we talk to our kids about what are your values? It's very common. Somebody say, what do you want to be when you grow up? Or what are your goals? You know, good conversations to have. But we don't say, hey, what's important to you? What makes you tick? What makes you come alive? What brings you energy? We don't really say that to young people. And so I think that that's challenging. Nobody. People just haven't been asked, so they don't know that it's something that they can or should be doing. And I'm often surprised when I talk to groups of highly, highly successful people and I ask them, you know, what are your values? And we talk about there and they say, well, how do I figure those out? I don't know how to do it. And I look and say, wow, by all external metrics of the world, you've been incredibly successful. And it's amazing how far you've gotten not really knowing what your values are, which is great. Just imagine if you nail this, how much more successful you can be. Another question for you. How do people confuse aspirational values that sound great with the actual lived values that we should be living and experiencing? What I'm getting at with that is sometimes can our values be too aspirational or can my standards for myself be a little too high? Do I need to set a low bar with my values so that I have a better chance of actually achieving them.

[A]

Yeah. So aspirational values are different than actual values. So differentiating. So aspirational are more future related, but it's still attainable. And then actionable is what I see myself consistently doing. I think there's a concept called the zone of proximal development that they use in learning that can be applied to aspirational values. So you want it aspirational enough to provide growth and yet actionable enough that you can attain it. And it might be in increments of like, I'm 10% there, 20% there, 30% there. I can give you an example I have on my list of values. Travel, Travel. So I want to travel, being an explorer of new states and countries. And yet if I check in with myself of where I've traveled lately, it's usually like I've traveled to work, the grocery store, the health club, and maybe some family events. So that's the extent of my travel. However, if I look at where have I traveled in say the past few months, I've definitely traveled more in the past few months than I have the last couple of years. And so I'm moving in that direction of increments. So that is the difference between aspirational, actionable. I'm not there quite yet. And then it's also good to just observe that maybe it's not even aspirational, it's not in your zone, it's just unattainable. And to take that off of your

[B]

list, as we're talking about determining our values, we're obviously going to have multiple values. One of the things I worry about is anytime we're doing something that has multiple components to it is can those components start to compete with one another. So for instance, if I have one value that says family is very important to me, I want to spend a lot of time with them. My next value is professional success. And I spend a lot of time at work. Okay. Some people may say, wait a minute, those two things are going to compete. So how can I look across my values and set them up so that they don't create that inner tension and confusion for me?

[A]

Yeah. So this is common. I see this with individuals, especially with that work life balance. It's because both values seem right and yet it creates this tension because, say you're investing in your family, but your mind is thinking about work and you're feeling anxious. Or then you decide to work in the evening and you're feeling a sense of loss because you're not with your family. So there's this inner tension. I worked with an individual who, you know, we devised a solution and one of the solutions was changing the narrative that I can achieve, live out both values, just not at the same time. Not at the same time. And the second solution was to create some protected time. So for this individual, what they did is made from like 5 to 8 was family time. And when the kids went to bed, dedicated from 8 to 9 as dedicated work time. So thinking about solutions that work for you, like how can you attain both values just maybe not necessarily at the same time and what does that look like?

[B]

So if we're starting to feel that tension or pull in our lives between our values, then that's a great tip or strategy to say, okay, how can I keep these things? Maybe scale one or both of them back a little bit. How can I schedule them so that they're not directly battling with each other all the time or adjust them, make them more specific or more aligned with one another. So we've sort of talked about this a little bit about how people can actually do it. But let's do it formally here as we jump into the third section where we'll talk about some practical steps that folks can take to do it. So when well done, what should a list of values look like? Is there one right way to do this or is there some flexibility in that?

[A]

Well, definitely we talked about authentic, so personal to you and then actionable so that you see them consistently lived out in your life. And a short list. So recommendations between maybe 3 in 7, you know, short concise words. And then I would add, once you have that though, really going down to ask yourself, how can you turn these into action, think, feel and do so that's where these being goals can come into play and can be very helpful.

[B]

Can you tell us a little bit more about your process on how you created your own personal values and maybe even share what some of your personal values are?

[A]

Sure. So there's five steps, so and I'll just name the steps and just define a little bit about each one. So self awareness step one, just taking time to observe my story and what you know energizes me or feels intrinsically rewarding. And then the second step was to just to gather information and just generate a list of my potential values. So there's a variety of ways you can gather information. Here's a few sources I have found helpful. There's some free online assessments to take a values questionnaire. Second is just reflecting on what I call meaningful Moments and pay attention to the tension. So meaningful moments are those moments with maybe family members who have shaped you groups. So sports teams, faith communities, our workplace. Just looking at all of those values, which ones really resonate with you and putting them on the list along with meaningful experiences. As I mentioned my husband's cancer journey and adding those to the list, then paying attention to the tension. So those are those moments where like just a little unsettling, I don't know if you've ever had experience. And a few days later I'm like, that's still bothering me, just observing maybe what values were not lived out in that situation. Add those to your list. We can also gather information from feedback from family members, friends, look at your performance reviews, what were some of the key, you know, values or themes that you saw and place those on the, on the list. So just generating a list and maybe you have like 15 to 20 values on that draft.

[B]

And I like that you said meaningful experiences. So this is not necessarily just positive experiences or just negative experiences we talked about. Sometimes both positive or negative experiences can really reveal a lot about who we are. So you maybe want to look for both of those. When are some of the times that I felt the greatest and most alive? Or when are some of the times I was most frustrated or annoyed at other people or suffering due to tragedy, whatever. So kind of look at both of

[A]

those and then from there. Step three was to create these being goals. Like how am I going to live this out? So for example, I practice my value of a growth mindset by being open to others ideas and committed to learning. That's a tangible action. So we're in a meeting and all of a sudden you start brainstorming. I can remind myself, just be open to ideas, committed to learning in this moment from those being goals. Step four is to test it and edit it. So live a few weeks and then go back to that list and just ask have I consistently lived out this value, whatever it is, it's hope, yes, I have. Or if you haven't, then just ask yourself, is this more aspirational? It's a stretch value, it's within reach or is it just unattainable and it needs to be taken off the list? And then the step five is review and reiterate and transparently. I've struggled with this. So just placing it have what I call environmental cues. Where do you see your values in a typical day? Are they on your phone or your computer screen? On a post it note and then reviewing them, set a cadence that Works for you? Is it weekly? Is it monthly? Is it a few times a year? I have found even just making an appointment with a friend to go through them holds me accountable to go through and then just reflecting. Have I consistently lived out this value? Yes or no? If no, what is one small step I need to take to bring myself into realignment so I don't get way off track? Or do I need to reiterate and edit this value? Pause it. Maybe it's more aspirational or it's just unattainable.

[B]

I have found for me personally, I've been doing this for a few years. Early on I needed to do that reviewing and reiterating very often. And sometimes it felt like even weekly I was scratch it out and redo it and rip the sheet off and rewrite. And then as I go and they become more solid that I have to do less editing, they seem to be more consistent. But I probably need to do more reminding because I stay busy and so I need. Oh yeah, that's right. You got to keep staying grounded in that and also just to connect those values to the work I'm actually doing to give it the meaning. So I would encourage folks revisit them often.

[A]

So that has been my process. So for example, one of my core values is well being. And so I have some being goals for me personally and for my family, but also on how do I contribute well being to those around me. So I'll write I have a being goal around that, that I practice my value of well being by being a wellness coach who leads initiatives to support people to thrive. That's something that's tangible on a table I can check. Have I led any initiatives? If so, yes. It has helped me to just really check in and keep my energy focused on living out that value to help others.

[B]

As you go through this process of determining your own values and refining your own values, what does it teach you about yourself?

[A]

Well, it has taught me that I can get easily distracted. Right. Right. There's many good opportunities out there. So it really helps me to have a clear focus on where I want to spend my energy to live of purp driven life and what do I want to be known for. It shapes my identity.

[B]

One of the things that I really learned about myself in doing this, and I went through the same process that I did it myself probably four or five years ago and wrote out my list, was that initially I felt sort of lost, like I didn't know what it was. But then as I started asking the questions, I Realized all of the answers were in there. They were in there somewhere. I just wasn't asking the right questions to bring them out. And so hopefully that may be a little bit of encouragement to our audience. If you think I don't know where to start, I have no idea. I'm totally lost. I will tell you the answers are in there. You just gotta ask yourself the right questions to get em out and then bring it and put it down on paper. So don't be discouraged by that. I know I was initially, but I was surprised as I went through the process, like, oh, this is actually becoming pretty clear for me. And I had great clarity around. It took a little while, it was a bit of a struggle, multiple versions. But it gave me phenomenal clarity that I did not anticipate. Babe.

[A]

Yeah. And I'm curious what is a core value of yours?

[B]

Yeah. So for me I. It was really challenging, you know, made some of this. I had a massive list. There's so many good things, you know, I want to be. But ultimately I was able to sort of boil it down to five, so five main core values for me. And actually I brought my list here. Today's case. So one is hope.

[A]

Yes.

[B]

Next is growth. Third is wisdom. Fourth is joy. And the final one is simplicity. And what I mean by that, I think another mistake we can make too is taking these words and phrases but not really knowing exactly what they mean or how they apply to your life. I think you can make it a single word or you can make it a phrase, whatever. But it needs to be something that you really understand. So for instance, for me, hope, Hope I think of as an optimistic view of the future and confidence that things will turn out for the better, but that I have some ability to act on that and control it. And I have agency in the situation. So that inspires me to act in a way to create that positive future that I'm hoping for myself and others.

[A]

Growth.

[B]

My second one is that I never want to stand still or stagnate. I always want to try to be improving or growing in whatever direction I'm going. Wisdom is an important one for me as somebody who's a physician and going through high school, college and kind of an achiever. I wanted to be smart and I needed to make the test score, I needed the gpa, you know, I needed to get to the next level. But I realized smarts and intelligence are a little different than wisdom. And so I really want to make sure that I'm trying to do more than just learn material. I actually want to be wise and how I apply it to my life and how I use it. And then joy is that to me, that's one of the core essentials that I think we all need. And that if we. If we can't enjoy the process and we can't enjoy things, we can't find the good in what we do, then what's the purpose? So I constantly try to challenge myself to look for the joy, even in the difficult times and even in the challenges. And then lastly, simplicity is my last one. And this one I recognize by looking at other people who really inspire me. And I was always fascinated by folks who could take really challenging concepts and simplify them down so that anybody can understand them. So those are my values, and I continue to revisit them and update them as we go. But it's helpful, really helpful for me. Another question I have. Is it okay for my values to change over time or should they be relatively consistent across my life?

[A]

Well, research shows that some values will stay consistent over our lifetime. And as we go through transitions and changes, our life experiences shape our values. So you may have some consistent values for your lifespan and some of them that change throughout your lifespan as well. So that's why it's so important to revisit them.

[B]

Okay, good. So that takes a little bit of pressure off of us as we're trying to come up with our initial list like this. This doesn't have to be. If you're, you know, 25 years old doing this, you don't have to necessarily commit to what you put down on paper until you're 85. There is going to be some room for evolution here. So don't put too much pressure on yourself.

[A]

Okay.

[B]

Now that I actually have my list of values, how do I live them out in my everyday life?

[A]

So a couple suggestions that I found helpful, like I mentioned, just having them in view, where are you placing them? To remind yourself of your gps, to guide what you think, feel and do, creating what we call those being goals. So I practice my value of by being and fill in the blank. What actions would you like to see yourself taking? So those are some. And then just really making sure that they align with your mission, vision and purpose, along with reviewing them at a cadence that works for you.

[B]

And so would you encourage folks that after they have really solidified their values, to then take the next step and really thinking through their vision, purpose and mission afterwards? And I think oftentimes those can reinforce the values and the values are reinforced. So you get this sort of positive synergy. And you continue to update all of these things. Things. Some other advice that somebody gave me once that I think was really helpful when you're trying to assess whether or not you're living out your values would be to look at how your time is being spent, audit your calendar and see what you're doing. And is the time that you're designated to different things, does that align with your values? And another tip that I'd never thought about, but makes really sense is to analyze your spending as well to see are you putting your money where your values lie.

[A]

That's great feedback, which I think can

[B]

be really challenging for. For a lot of us. Okay, once I do this, how do you think my life will start to change? You mentioned a bunch of positive benefits earlier. Am I going to start seeing those immediately or do those sort of slowly play out over time? What, what, what can I expect? What should I be looking for?

[A]

Well, definitely you may experience some immediate benefits of just having clarity. We all know what it feel like to be lost when you're driving, right? So just to have clarity, I on these are my core values can help with so many different decisions we have to make in life. Where are we gonna spend our energy? Inform our decisions we talked about. They can inform our mission, vision, and purpose as well. In addition, just thinking about how you can use those values to help you navigate through conversations and identifying what matters to you most in this conversation. So just thinking about how our values really are role modeling and. And just this shared experience of our values can help us just feel a greater sense of connection with one another as well and improve our relationships.

[B]

That's wonderful, Bridget. Thank you so much. So, as we've been talking, I've been taking a lot of notes here. I'd like to take a quick minute to recap those if we can. So here's what I've learned today. Your definition of values. Deeply held beliefs that define what matter most. And they influence how we think, feel, and what we do, which ultimately shapes our identity. Identity. We talked about how values are really sort of the foundation for us to later set up. What are our vision, purpose and mission? And vision is what future do you want to create? Your purpose is your why, and the mission is what you're actually going to do. All of those need to be founded on your values. We talked about good qualities and value. So they should be, number one, authentic, number two, actionable, number three, aligned with who you are. And number four, Four, well anchored. Good value should be aspirational enough to provide some growth but actionable enough that you can actually attain it. Some of the common benefits of having well articulated and lived out values are that they guide your behaviors. They'll define your vision, mission and purpose. They help with energy management. They inform decisions, help you navigate conflict, help shape your identity. They increase well being and increase performance and goal achievement. And also help you better define those goals. Goals. And then you outline five great steps for us in trying to determine our values. Step number one is self awareness. Step number two is gather info and generate a list. Step number three is create your being goals which is the action part of those values. Number four, test and edit. Number five, review and reiterate. And we talked about how you should give yourself permission to edit liberally, very aggressively and keep revisiting so that they stay top of mind. Typically, we should aim to have somewhere between three to seven values use. You want to make sure that they're short and concise and that you really understand they can be a single word or a small phrase, but just make sure that you really understand it very well and have the ability to live it out. And remember, if you're struggling to do this, you have all of the answers inside of you. You just have to make sure you're asking the right questions. And you gave us a bunch of questions that we can use. So that's my summary and I'll let you wrap us up here. What do you think is the most important thing you want people to take away from our discussion today?

[A]

Yeah, well, the lesson I learned that I would share with everyone is that there's real value you in knowing our values because they create a GPS which forms our identity to live a purpose driven life, reach our highest potential, support our well being and give our best back to this world.

[B]

Oh, that's fantastic. All right. We always like to end with a challenge or, or a call to action. You set us up well when you gave us the steps. You know, step number one is self awareness. I'm hoping a lot of our audience has done that. We've had sessions dedicated specifically to self awareness. So if you haven't seen seen those, go check out those past episodes. Now I want you to do the second step which is gather the info and generate a list. And you, you gave a lot of great examples that there's online tools you can do. You can, you know, search to generate a list, ask other friends, think about experiences in the past that have been very positive or maybe very negative for you. So put that initial list together, put it down on paper and then you can follow through with the remainder of the steps. Bridge has been a great discussion. Thank you so much for joining us.

[A]

Thank you for this opportunity. Chris.

[B]

If you like this episode, please share it with a friend and leave us a review on your podcast app. It really helps others find the show. Got feedback, a question or a topic idea? Email [e-mail] or leave us a voicemail at 507-538-6272. We might even feature your voice on the show. For more human optimization episodes and resources, check us out online at ce mayo.edu. optimize. Remember long term well being starts with the habits you build today. Live intentionally perform Exceptionally I'm Dr. Christopher Camp. Thanks for listening.

[A]

This podcast is for informational purposes only and should not be relied upon as medical or legal advice. Always consult with a qualified healthcare provider for any medical questions. The appearance of any guest does not imply an endorsement of them, their employer, or any entity they represent. The views and opinions are those of the speakers and do not necessarily reflect the views of Mayo Clinic. Reference to any product, service or entity does not constitute an endorsement of, of, or recommendation by Mayo Clinic.