In this episode, Rich and Tim sit down with six years of personal journals and ask a simple but uncomfortable question: what actually changed?

They focus on the first three themes that stood out when Rich reread everything back.

First, Rich reflects on the long arc of his mental health — how early journal entries framed exhaustion, irritability and low mood as problems of discipline, productivity, or personal failure, and how long it took before he had the language to name depression honestly. They talk about what it’s like to believe gratitude should cancel out sadness, and how learning to recognise patterns didn’t remove the cycles, but did change Rich’s relationship with them.

Second, they explore the gradual shift toward meditation and presence. Not as a neat self‑improvement story, but as something that moved from a ten‑minute experiment to a genuine anchor during darker periods. Rich talks about letting go of meditation as something to “get right”, the impact of retreat, and how presence started showing up in ordinary moments rather than on the cushion.

Third, the conversation turns to the body — food, exercise, fasting, running — and the years spent negotiating, arguing, and struggling for control. Rich shares what the journals reveal about shame, compulsion, relief, pride, and how physical routines were often attempts to regulate much deeper emotional states. They reflect on what softened over time, even when the patterns themselves didn’t disappear.

This isn’t an episode about fixing yourself, forming perfect habits, or finding a breakthrough. It’s about noticing repetition, learning the difference between control and acceptance, and what six years of writing things down can teach you about how you actually live with yourself.

The Interlacement of Violence: Three Temporalities of Violence in Everyday Life

https://journals.sagepub.com/doi/10.1177/00380385251343490

Relational Activism: https://www.relationalactivism.com/

Rich's BASW Child Protection sessions: https://basw.co.uk/social-work-child-protection-professional-practice-programme

Rich Devine's blog: https://richarddevinesocialwork.com/about/

Tim Fisher LinkedIn:https://www.linkedin.com/in/timfisher101/