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We need to talk about STAGE DOOR safety | The danger behind the drama with Kit Connor, Hadestown + more
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Mickey Jo
Oh my God. Hey, welcome back to my theatre themed YouTube channel. Or hello to you if you are listening on podcast platforms. My name is Mickey Jo and I am obsessed with all things theatre. I'm a professional theatre critic and a content creator here on social media and today we are going to be discussing a hot topic in the theatrical world. It is time for us to talk about stage door etiquette, a conversation sparked by recent instances where this has gone wrong. So if you don't know, stage dooring is something that happens after many theatrical performances where the actors who performed on stage, as well as the musicians, as well as other people working on the show, will leave the theater via the stage door. And a habit has arisen where fans will wait by the stage door in order to meet the actors and take selfies and say, you did such a wonderful job and I came all the way here and I took a blade and you were fantastic. And it's often lovely and they can get things signed. But just like many of life's privileges, it has been abused and problems have arisen, including one recent example of a young performer getting into a car and then being followed in their car by a young fan who like chased them down the street and then posted about it on social media. Like, that doesn't make them sound like a future convict. I do think we as a society in general have become just a little too brazen on Tik Tok, but that's another conversation for a different day. Today we're talking about how to behave at the stage door and apparently beyond the stage door, apparently in a multi block radius. So I'm going to be letting you know the circumstances of that particular story, which a lot of people are talking about on social media and why it's such an egregious example of bad stage door etiquette and just generally bad behavior. But we're also going to recap some of the most important rules of stage dooring. And in general, I do think I'm preaching to the choir here. Like, I feel like the majority of the people who watch my videos here and pop up in the comments section are well behaved theatre goers who would know this already. But for a lot of people, you may not stage door and people may be apprehensive about it because they might not know what to expect. So hopefully this may also let you know a little more about the situation and just kind of help you figure out if it's for you or not and what to do when you get there. Anyway, that's what we're going to be talking about today. If you enjoy this one, make sure to subscribe or follow me wherever you are, seeing my face or hearing my voice, and feel free to seek me out across the rest of the musical theatre Internet. I am on all of the apps as MickeyJoThat that made it sound like I was dating. I'm not online dating, I'm engaged. I'm talking Instagram, I'm talking Blue sky threads, and the other one TikTok. There we go. Also LinkedIn for business inquiries. And it's it's a very quiet January, so feel free. For now though, let's talk about stage door etiquette. And as we do, feel free to share all of your thoughts in the comments section down below, including any horror stories you have seen of bad stage door behavior. Because I know it's out there. Anyway, let's get into it. So I want to start by talking about the particular circumstance which has led me to discuss this today. This is from a TikTok that a young audience member made after seeing Romeo and Juliet on Broadway. Broadway, currently playing at the Circle in the Square Theater starring Rachel Zegler and Kit Connor, both of whom have large fan bases prior to their performances in this play. And this tick tock contains text that said, fortunately I am that one girl that ran after the Kit Connor's car after stage door of Romeo and Juliet. And like three blocks later, a long way when we hit a stoplight, he saw me waving like crazy at him, smiling, paused, unplugged his wired headphones, which can I just say, in 2025, wired headphones looked up from his phone and his face lit up and he gave that cute little smile and blushed. Then he looked back at his phone and carried on and plugged his headphones back in. And now I just, well, live with that. I like freaked out after and people around me were so confused. People are still confused, I'm still confused and I'm concerned. I will add concern to the emotions that I'm feeling. Currently starts with the word fortunately. None of this is fortunate. So needless to say, if someone has left the stage door area, like, you know, I already have mixed feelings about it because this is their principal means of leaving their workplace. This is the door with which they leave work. And it's not like it's an inherently negative thing to emerge to. Like if you were working at a supermarket and every time you left the store there was a crowd of people like cheering for you and like asking you to take a photo with you and asking you to sign things. There is charm in it. It's also a little bit unusual, but then, you know, they're actors, so they're used to this to a certain extent. Kit Connor's been on a float in the London Pride Parade before. Rachel Zegler has turned up to the Broadway flea market before. They're used to, you know, being conspicuous in a public space and being met with this level of enthusiasm and adoration because they have particularly very young fans who can be very enthusiastic. And I don't want to attack the passion and the enthusiasm here, but we need to learn boundaries. Because when someone has left the stage door area, you are no longer entitled to their time. You're not even really entitled to their time at the stage door, if I'm being completely honest. Because they may choose to just walk past and not, you know, participate in the usual expectations. We're going to get onto that in a little bit. But certainly if they've got into a car and they are driving away, don't chase the car. That is presidential assassin behavior. And three blocks, like blocks in New York, it's a long way. That is a long way. I know that stretch of Manhattan 3. That is dedication to be chasing a car for three blocks in Manhattan to just like, what are you? Are you standing awkwardly near to the car and then waving? I assume you're not knocking on the window. And just everything about how they have described his reaction here reads like a cute little fanfic. Like they're gonna go meet in a hotel afterwards and he's gonna say, like, I saw you in the audience and I fell in love with you immediately. That's not what's gonna happen here. He is clearly uncomfortable. If you read between the lines here, perhaps he found it charming. You know, I don't know how he interpreted this, but you can very easily read into this as him looking up from his phone, blushing, and then deliberately looking back at his phone to kind of try and escape from that. I mean, he was in a car. Thank goodness he was in a car. And he's not. Jonathan Groff cycling away from the theater to have people running after him and kicking his bicycle down in traffic because, my God. Or walking. There are people that walk away from stage door and they expect not to be followed to their next destination, especially if it's their home or the place that they're staying. Staying. He doesn't live in New York, as far as I know. He is UK based. He will be staying somewhere in New York for the duration at least. Of him doing this show. So that's an additional concern. He may be staying relatively nearby to the theater. So if you follow his car far enough, you've got to figure out where he lives. And that is truly creepy behavior. And I understand that young fans, in particular, very passionate, get very excited to see their faves on stage. Get very swept up in this very energizing production, which I reviewed here on YouTube. If you want to find out more about Romeo and Juliet, I get all of that. And the stage door vibe is then even more like energizing and rousing and exciting. And Kit Connor is very charming. I get all of that. And it's one thing to do this to like chase after his car like we romanticize when it happens to the Osmonds and to the Beatles. It's another thing to bracently post about it on social media and be like, yeah, I just did that. Like, come on, people, come on. Now. I have to advocate for the actors in this moment. Stop making people feel uncomfortable. Do not chase people from their workplaces. And this is not the only instance of negative stage door behavior happening to this particular actor on this particular show because there are many tiktoks of people just kind of pushing against the boundaries of what is acceptable. In this forum with Kit Connor at Romeo and Juliet, people have been like, trying to give him engagement rings at stage door. And if I'm being completely honest, just behaving in a reasonably parasocial and thirsty way. And this is not the first time we have seen this happen. There are other Broadway stage doors currently where there are reports of troubling fan behavior. At the Outsiders, which is very popular with young fans, where the cast are very popular with young fans, again, it's young male performers, principally popular with young female fans. Not to dig on a certain demographic, but there was talk of them sussing out the alternative exit that the performers used when they don't want to stage door. This is a thing. In some cases, if they don't want to go out the stage door, if they want to deal with all of that, or if they have to get somewhere in a hurry, or if they're just not feeling it, or if they're not feeling well, or if they're worried about their health, or if they're worried about someone someone's health who they're in proximity to and they don't want to interact with a whole crowd of people during cold and flu season and they're trying to not call out of a show because it's their income, like so many reasons why people might not want to stage door, all of which are valid and all of which they're entitled to. But people were finding out the alternative exit and like camping out there to go and surprise them, kill them, abduct. I don't know what the plan was, but in any case, knowing that that was the exit they were using specifically because they didn't want to stage door and forcing them into that interaction anyway, or forcing them to then have to say to you, no, please don't do this. We're leaving this way for a reason. All of which is crazy. Like, it's very intrepid and we're really training the next generation of paparazzi here who would be very good at that job. But it's not respectful. And if you care about these actors enough to do this, you should care about their feelings and their boundaries and their safety as well. There are many other recent examples of bad stage door behavior, including in the uk, this is not just a Broadway problem. Cast members of the UK tours of Heather's and Six the Musical have spoken about challenging stage door experiences at touring venues. I think Six even released a statement to say to people, maybe Heathers did as well, to remind fans to be respectful at the stage door. Melanie labarrie, who is currently playing Hermes in the Western cast of Hadestown at the Lyric Theatre, spoke about fans being physical at the stage door, like grabbing her shoulder, like turning her around and her finding this uncomfortable and disconcerting and startling. Understandably so. Like, I would not dream of touching a performer that I do not know even to get their attention, even to then say something kind or take a photo. Like, whatever the intention is, it's not something. It's not something that people may want to happen to them. And people have different sensibilities. Perhaps some people are more tactile, some people are more extroverted, but others are not. And in that particular part of London, post 10pm, when Hadestown is getting out on that particular street, if you grab me by the shoulder, I'm assuming that you're about to kill me. Like, that's my assumption if I'm in that situation. So I get it. I get it. Mela Barry and I celebrate the fact that she said this online because it's a difficult thing to say because you don't want to, especially if they're younger fans, which again, Hadestown often has. And I don't know who it was in this particular instance or multiple instances, but you don't necessarily want to feel like you're chastising your fans because you may then be perceived in a certain way. Barrett Wilbert Weed spoke out about stage during years ago and got a lot of backlash for this, Got a lot of pushback for this. Often other performers, when they speak about stage door and boundaries, people will call it disrespectful. People will say that they are not being kind and respectful to their fans, which is insane. All of which boils down, I think, to people forgetting that actors are people. This happens far too often. We put actors on this pedestal and we celebrate them and we applaud them and, you know, they get a lot more love and recognition and celebrity than people in discernibly more ordinary jobs. But with that, they don't get the same levels of respect. They don't get the acknowledgement that this is them at work, that they are normal people leading normal lives. Now, Hadestown has a slightly different stage dooring layout to many other shows in the West End. I don't know if this was implemented as a result of some of these situations, but they now have a barrier queue. And the stage dooring audience members actually are the ones standing behind the queue, sort of penned in against the wall as the cast members then leave and they can walk down freely down this line, or they could just leave if they choose to. That is a great, great system because they have the freedom to move. On Broadway, more often than not, the actors leaving the stage door are behind rails. And so they are pinned into this area. They can just walk out and walk past if they want to. I've seen actors do that before, but it's that little bit more challenging critically. They also have security staff there alongside them. Now, in general, Broadway does this way better than the West End because there are many West End theaters that still have no infrastructure when it comes to stage door. Some of them don't have security. I know six the Musical now does at the Vaudeville Theatre in the West End. Some of them don't have any kind of barrier, any kind of suggestion of where to queue. So it's just a mob of people and no staff there to ensure that everything's fine. And I think this is because in the uk we do a really bad job of being aware of the passion that people have for the theater and for these performers. A lot of British producers, theater owners, whoever it may be, seem a little ignorant of the fact that people get really excited about seeing these cast members, that people care really deeply. They know people spend a lot of money because they're happy to set those prices but they're not investing in keeping their cast members safe necessarily, because they don't think that they have celebrity status among a niche group of people, even though they absolutely do. Another of the reasons why Broadway does this better is because the security staff at the stage door more often than not will be able to tell you when that is it and when there are no more people coming out, sometimes they'll advise you on who is coming out. But this in general is not a habit to get into, like asking them or certainly asking other actors, oh, do you think this person's coming out to sign? Because it's also a slap in the face if someone is happy to stage door and they are basking in it to say, like, oh, is your more well known colleague going to come out and sign as well? Because it implies that's really who I'm waiting for. I want to talk about the maybe Happy ending stage door on Broadway before I head into some general stage door suggestions. Because Darren Criss, when I saw the show and for a few performances prior to that, had been doing this, this brilliant thing where he comes out wearing a mask and speaking through a little megaphone device so that he doesn't have to strain his voice by projecting to a crowd of people to explain that he wants to be able to perform as often in the show as possible. He doesn't want to get sick and call out of the show. Noteworthy here he is not only one of the leading performers, him and Helen J. Shen in the musical maybe Happy Ending, but he's also one of the show's producers. So, you know, he's really caring deeply for this. And he as an individual also just cares deeply about the theater industry. It's worth saying as well. But he was letting people know that he was going to be wearing a mask, not to seem rude, but because he was prioritizing his health and also made some great suggestions on if people wanted to take photos, how to do it. And he suggested that people take videos of their momentary interactions with him. And he was going to sign as many playbills as he could. And fair play to him, he went down that line and he signed all of those playbills and he had very meaningful exchanges with people, albeit briefly as he was moving down the crowd, which I think is like more than enough to do. And he suggested smartly film those moments and then you can like pull screen grabs from them, which he works much better than trying to get a stage door photo. I've seen so many and I've taken so many Bad, blurry, out of focus stage door photos or with horrible lighting. And as much as I celebrate Darren Criss for doing this, is it his responsibility as an individual to be making that speech, to be explaining that situation? And my inclination here is to think, no, it isn't. Do we need a larger overhaul of the stage door process both on Broadway and certainly in the West End where, you know, we're already behind in terms of what exists to make it safe for the performers and for the audience members as well, honestly. And what might that look like? That is a question we will be considering right at the end of this video. But first of all, let's talk about some general stage door tips, if they weren't already common knowledge. So my first piece of advice when going to the stage door is that's actually before you get there, don't leave the show early or pre the curtain call or pre the end of the show just to get the best spot at the stage door. Because it's what disrespectful. This happened recently at guess which show Romeo and Juliet on Broadway. Rachel Zegler was making the very important Broadway cares Equity Fights AIDS speech, the famous red bucket donations. And she was speaking on behalf of this brilliant organization who do fantastic work. And there were several audience members running out of that theatre so they could go and get a great spot at the stage door. This is hugely uncomfortable because not only did she call them out during her speech, which good for you, Rachel, but also it kind of implies that when she gets out to stage door, she knows that the front row of faces she's going to see are the ones that didn't bother to stick around for the entire thing. And there's been reports of this happening at multiple performances because people care so much about getting to see these performers, which needless to say, and this is a really big point here, is not part of the experience that you have paid for. Some people act like it is, some people even suggest that it is, and some people complain. I saw a complaint just the other day saying Sigourney Weaver barely stayed five minutes afterwards to take photos with fans at the stage door of the Tempest in the West End at Theatre Royal, Drury Lane. And they're not being paid for that time. And you haven't paid for that. That is not part of what you have paid for. You have paid for a ticket to see them perform on stage. In fact, you've paid for a ticket to see the production in the West End. That does not guarant the availability of any particular Performer on Broadway, if someone above the title is out, then you can ask for a refund usually. But it certainly doesn't entitle you to any kind of stage door experience. That is a potential bonus. Which leads me into my next stage door suggestion which is expect nothing. Lower your expectations. And there's no guarantees. That's the reason. Whether it's a matinee, whether it's an evening performance, there's no guarantee that any particular artist from the show will be stage dooring. I remember when I went to see Merrily, we were all along on Broadway, we were umming and ahhing about stage dooring and we were like, let's go for it. They actually had a great system where they again put people in this barrier. So the audience members at the stage door were the ones sort of behind a pen and the artists had more freedom to pass along and you had to show your ticket for that night's performance in order to get into that area to make sure to authenticate that it was just that night's audience. I think Romeo and Juliet has been doing a system where they have two sides of the stage door, one for audience members that night and one for just other eager passersby. But when we saw me earlier, I think only 2 of the company members stage doored at that particular performance, which is absolutely fine. One of them was Daniel Radcliffe, who is, you know, was one of the more well known members of that company. But on a different night it could have been completely different. It could have been more of them, it could have been all of them, it could have been none of them. And like I mentioned before, there are a whole host of valid reasons why performers may not want to go to the stage door. And I think health, especially post Covid, is a really big one for us to remind ourselves of. A lot of these people have families, have young children. Lindsay Mendes was pregnant for part of Merrily We Roll along and doing the stage door brings you into close proximity with a lot of other people and that can bring with it health anxieties. As an addendum to low expectations, I would say don't expect anything specific of the performers as well. You can ask them. On Broadway the standard is that they will sign a playbill and you can ask if they could sign something different. Some will not want to. Daniel Radcliffe, for example, does not sign Harry Potter merchandise. Someone did not get this message and kept trying to push this funko pop in front of his face. And he had a security, I think his own personal security or bodyguard with him who made it very clear that that was not going to be happening and good for him. Honestly, more often than not I have seen most performers be perfectly happy to take a selfie after the show. I've also seen some performers speaking about how it makes them feel a little self conscious because they've just stripped however much makeup off their faces. And I'll be honest, Stage Door are never the most glamorous. Photos. I've also seen some performers happily do a couple of little bespoke things. I've asked performers to do this occasionally. I asked Grace Maclean to sign a purse made out of set pieces from Bad Cinderella that were the set involving her character, which she thought was delightful. I asked Jen Colella at the Suffs stage door if she would record a little Happy Birthday message for my friend whose birthday message it was that day. But if they had said no, then that would have been completely understandable and I'd have been completely fine with that. You can ask. The key is, I think ask respectfully and don't have a sense of expectation. My next and possibly last stage door rule is going to be be kind and be kind to everyone. Congratulate people on the work that they have done on stage. If you have a playbill and you're on Broadway, acquaint yourself with the people who might be leaving that stage door. Please do your best to not address performers by the wrong name because that is hugely uncomfortable. On occasion, performers have also expressed that it feels racially motivated, which is even more uncomfortable. And in general, when crew members, when musicians, when swings and ensemble members are leaving the stage door, they deserve just as much celebration and praise as the principal performers or the stars that you may be waiting to see. What no one wants is passive aggressive comments like oh, this is my second time seeing the show because you were out the first time. Or like God forbid someone's saying negative about someone's performance to their face or someone else in the company or asking them an uncomfortable personal question like just lead with I loved the show, I loved your performance, you were great. Whatever how it spoke to you specifically. There are so many things that you can say that are positive that they will want to hear, but don't be dismissive, don't make it rude and don't make it weird. The only other thing I would say about Stage Door for people who are maybe cautious about it is to just be clear with what you want to do. I've been at too many stage doors in the UK where I just sort of linger far away and I like hope that the performer catches my eye. That's not going to happen. If you want to chat to a performer, then make that clear. But don't chase them down and don't touch them to get their attention. Just stand, wait patiently, have a smile on your face, make eye contact. Any of the normal things that you would do to speak to someone. And on Broadway in particular, if you want your playbill signed, don't worry if the stage door is already like three lines of people deep. Performers are really good at getting to that playbill. If you just hold it clearly over the top or if you hold your phone up to make it clear you want to set up whatever it is that you would like to do, just make it clear to the performers and you can chat to the security. I've spoken to many very friendly security members at Broadway stage doors before and usually they're very helpful. Finally then I said there was one more aspect of this I wanted to consider, which is whose responsibility is the stage door experience? Because short of implementing security and creating a barricade area, it seems to be that producers, venue owners are kind of ceding the responsibility of the stage door element. And at this point, though it isn't a part of the show, though it isn't something that you pay for in the ticket price, it has become an expectation, it has become a component of the Broadway experience of the theatre going experience in general. This is something that we should know now is going to happen. And it's kind of crazy if I'm being honest, that it does still happen and that huge stars are still, you know, possible to meet at Broadway stage doors because, you know, Taylor Swift wasn't doing this on the ERAS tour as far as I know. And if, God forbid, Taylor Swift did a Broadway musical, do you really think she's going to stage door? Because I don't see that happening. I don't believe Robert Downey Jr. Staged old for McNeil at Lincoln center and I don't think he is the biggest Broadway star that there's been of the last few years. Do we think Nick Jonas is going to stage door at the Hudson Theater after the last five years? I have doubts, honestly. But a lot of big names have, a lot of stars have stage door and it's kind of moot their celebrity status, honestly, because some Broadway stars are just as huge as those movie stars to their fans, to this niche group of people and they deserve to feel safe and to feel respected. So what do we need to do to make this stage door experience safer? I think that speech that Darren Crisscross has been giving at maybe happy ending is really beneficial. Do we need that to be mandated at a Broadway League level at Stage Doors? Is that something that could be implemented from the security staff? They already do a great job in corresponding with the fans at Stage Door when the whole thing is over. When they say, like, that's it, but usually they just tell a couple of the nearest people and the message kind of filters back. Do we need someone to come out and say, like, this is what's going to be happening. Just like a brief, brief message, just to remind people. Because you never know. For some people, it might be their first Broadway show experience and they may not know what the expectations are. They may not know how to act like a decent and respectful human being. If you can't tell, I'm doing a lot of gymnastics to try and justify some of the insane things that people have been doing at Stage Doors. But just like we have messages and we have signs reminding people to turn their phones off during the show and to adhere to respectful behavior in the theatre, do we need to be clearer about how to do that at Stage Door? And you may not like me for saying this, but is Stage Door even something that we feel we are able to maintain in the theater industry if these issues are just getting worse and worse? Star casting is certainly not going anywhere. There is maybe more star casting in this Broadway season than there has been for some time, perhaps ever. Question mark. We have big stars coming in. Not just Nick Jonas, Jake Gyllenhaal is coming in, George Clooney, Denzel Washington, also some women, I believe, and I. I, A, wonder if they're going to be staged during a tour and B, if this isn't going to make the problem even bigger because this is just how people behave when they like those actors. God forbid someone gets wind of the fact that they know where to find Jake Gyllenhaal every night, and they go and, like, angrily recite Taylor Swift lyrics at him like it's a slam poetry competition. Just like throwing red scarves at the Stage door after Othello. Like, nobody wants that. Nobody needs that. My one final little tidbit of suggestion here is that when I went to see Wicked in Brazil, they did this fantastic thing where they were rewarding multiple visits to the show, which is something that happens in a lot of other sectors, right? Like you have loyalty cards at stores, at supermarkets, with airlines, and frequent repetition of business gets rewarded on Broadway. This is difficult because Broadway is very expensive. Every single Time that you buy tickets or it can be very expensive. There are cheaper ways to get tickets as well. But what they were doing in Brazil was after a certain number of visits to the show, you would unlock certain rewards. And among them were backstage post show photo opportunities with certain cast members in costume. Which I put to you is even better than a stage door experience. Because the moment you send people backstage, they become a little more humble, they're a little less brash, they're not in a mob and you get a better photo out of it. You get like a well taken photo in a well lit area and it's them in costume. I would much rather have a photo with Elphaba or Greened up giving it this this rather than a poor woman at the stage door wearing a beanie who has remnants of green in her ears, who just wants to go home and do a vocal massage. Of course, if this were to happen, the actors would have to be paid for this time and this would also delay them leaving the building. There are probably a lot of union rules and complications around doing this on Broadway, but as an idea, I kind of prefer it to the stage door. Inevitably, I don't think it would be as accessible financially because, you know, this probably wouldn't be based based on a loyalty scheme. It would probably be a premium experience. Add on that you could pay for. And I don't know that I necessarily want Broadway to go down that route, but at least then the performers are getting paid for that time and it kind of enacts ways in which to safeguard the process. So if you don't want that to happen, maybe that's a warning to you as well. Stop misbehaving at stage door. Otherwise, you know, it may go away. Those performers may stop stage dooring forever because they don't feel comfortable. Those producers may be too concerned about it becoming a liability. Or they may conceive of these different ways in which to do that experience that may become prohibitively expensive. But it's already how a lot of other things work in the world of entertainment. If you go to a drag show and you want a personal meet and greet with the drag queen who is performing, chances are you're paying an extra fee for that. You're paying for the meet and greet experience. They already do it it at concerts. There are certain instances of VIP access. Broadway is kind of the last place to cotton onto this, which aren't they always. And I say Broadway, I of course mean the theater industry worldwide in general. But I am not the only one talking about this on social media. Hopefully people have seen this. Hopefully common sense prevails and you know there will always be little small instances like this. Hopefully nothing too dangerous or uncomfortable happens at any of these stage doors. But I just felt like I had to come on here and say something and that is everything that I have to say about the subject. If you have thoughts about stage Door, if you have any stage door horror stories or brilliant stories from the stage door, I'd love to hear those as well. Share them in the comments section down below, as well as your thoughts on everything that I have said today. Thank you for listening to this. I hope that everyone is staying safe and that you have a stagey day. For 10 more seconds, I'm Mickey Jo Theater. Oh my God. Hey, thanks for watching. Have a Stagey day. Subscribe.