
In the wake of the release of his new special “Ramy Youssef: In Love,” Mike welcomes Ramy Youssef back for his third appearance on the podcast. The two discuss why Ramy cannot reveal the price of his wedding nor the price he would pay to hear his dog talk for a day, what it’s like to write from the blank page, and what major celebrity might have stolen Ramy’s look. Plus, Mike has a few questions for Ramy about Martin Scorsese’s email address.
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Mike Birbiglia
So in your last special, I got thanked in the credits. And then in this one, I noticed you thanked Martin Scorsese and Lorne Michaels. So are you moving in a certain direction or is this the new regime?
Ramy Youssef
No, you know what? It is. I think you did one of my Cherry Lane shows.
Mike Birbiglia
Yeah, you're right.
Ramy Youssef
And so I always, I always take a note when someone does a show with me. That's what happens. And so Lauren opened for me in Toronto.
Mike Birbiglia
That'd be fun, right? Dude, what I, I. Would you talk in the special about paying $10,000 to hear a dog talk? I'd pay $10,000 to see Lorne Michaels do stand up. That is the voice of the great Ramy Youssef. I love Ramy Youssef. It's his favorite third appearance on the podcast. One of my favorite people, one of my favorite comics. He has a new special out called Ramy Youssef in Love. It's on hbo Max. I couldn't recommend it more. Highly fantastic comedy special. We talk about that today. We talk about jokes a lot at work on a lot of jokes today. By the way, thanks to everyone who signed up for Working Out Premium on Apple Podcasts. We've been doing a lot of different bonus episodes. Some of them we work out just jokes, like getting ready to go to the Comedy Cellar, work out new jokes. Some of them I'm with Pete Holmes and we're working out listener jokes. That's really fun. To sign up for those episodes, you can go on the Apple podcast app and you can subscribe to Premium. It's 4.99amonth. What you get is no ads. You support the show, which is an independent production, and you get those bonus episodes. I really appreciate it. Also, if you're in Los Angeles, I'm gonna be there in a week. May 6, I'm at the Wilshire Ebell Theater. It's Mike Birbiglia and Friends. The Friends are two awesome headliners in their own right who have been on the podcast multiple times. It's a surprise, but I think you'll be really, really happy about who those people are. That's May 6th at the Wilshire Ebell Theater. All this on birdbigs.com, also will be in Montreal at the Just for laughs Festival trophy. July 24, I am doing a gala for Canadian television. 25 years ago, I was a new face. Now I'm a gala. I'm an old face gala. Also July 30th, I'll be doing two shows at Nantucket Performing Arts Center. Tickets for that go on sale May 30th. And I'm doing a bunch of dates with John Mullaney in May in Colorado Springs, Eugene, Oregon, Bend, Oregon, as well as Moorhead, Minnesota in August. By the way, sign up for the mailing list. I appreciate it. Been doing the mailing list 25 years. And to get even more specific up to the date information, text BURBIGS to 917-444-7150 to be the first to know about upcoming shows. By the way, this is a great talk with Rami Youssef. We talk about his new special on HBO Max. We talk about what it's like to start from the blank page after you release a special. Rami explains why Martin Scorsese is thanked in the credits.
Ramy Youssef
And.
Mike Birbiglia
And we talk about why Rami would pay thousands of dollars to be able to talk with his dog for just one day. Enjoy my conversation. By the way, you can watch the full1 on YouTube. We have all the episodes over on YouTube right now, and we really appreciate it if you subscribe. We're putting up tons of stuff right now. Enjoy my conversation with the great Rami Yousef. You talk about, you ask the audience how much they pay to talk to their dog. Yeah. And have their dog talk back. Someone shouts 10k, someone shouts 20k. What's your number? You didn't say.
Ramy Youssef
I didn't say. Because it, it's embarrassing, you know, like,
Mike Birbiglia
it could be so. Like everything.
Ramy Youssef
It could be a high number. And I don't, I, I. The reason why I don't want say the number is mainly my father. Just. It's always a game of hiding from my father, how much things cost, how much I would spend on things. So if he heard how much I would, he'd call me and go, what are you doing even throwing these numbers out there in front of people? Yeah, yeah, yeah. Everything. My dad thinks everything's really cheap. I remember Sebastian had the best bit about telling his dad things cost less in one of his specials. That was so funny. I said, that's exactly what my it is with my dad. The dad price.
Mike Birbiglia
Okay, so you'd pay a crazy amount to talk to your dog. Well, have a conversation.
Ramy Youssef
You know, it's funny. One time my, my wife got this dog psychic that someone told her about.
Mike Birbiglia
That's a good spend.
Ramy Youssef
She was like, this woman's good. And you paid 200 bucks. And then she'll tell you what's going on with the dog. And then I thought I would say, where is it? She'd know. She does it virtually. So I said, okay, we're going to zoom with this woman about the dog, which, it feels like an in person thing. It wasn't even video chat. It was just phone calls.
Mike Birbiglia
It was audio zoom.
Ramy Youssef
It was only a phone call. And so she was. She said, like, just put the dog near the phone. Let's all breathe and we're going to feel into it. And we dropped 200 bucks.
Mike Birbiglia
It's outrageous.
Ramy Youssef
And she had this whole thing of like, wow. I mean, your dog is really expressive. And immediately she goes, he really wants you to know, don't get a second dog. He does not want. He wants your full attention because of where he came from.
Mike Birbiglia
Of course. Of course he doesn't want a second dog.
Ramy Youssef
My wife is in.
Mike Birbiglia
She's chatting with Lauren.
Ramy Youssef
I'm kind of sitting back and I go, let's test this woman a little bit. And I go, hey, he's a rescue. We have no idea where he's from. Where are you thinking he's from? And she thinks for a minute, and I know where he's from, but I kind of. I go, let's see, he's from Tijuana. He's gotten hit by a car in Tijuana, right? She goes, after a minute of silence, Pennsylvania. She goes, he's from Pennsylvania. How do you get to Pennsylvania from Tijuana? And how are you so confident after a minute of silence that that's where he's from?
Mike Birbiglia
Yeah, we are ripped off. I thought that was a deep philosophical question. How much would you pay for a conversation with your dog?
Ramy Youssef
Well, you know, it was, you know, because it. I kind of got really into this thing on this last tour of. And there's a couple of it. These beats in the special where I had really specific crowd work questions that kind of opened up an array of really good answers. And so I kind of had this feeling that I really like improvising with a crowd. But what can I ask them that? Yeah, just speaks to something that I'm actually thinking about. And it was really cool because in a lot of ways, every city there'd be something different, but then there'd be a range of kind of the same things that people are dealing with. So between how much they spend to talk to their dog, what they were willing to spend on their wedding, or what they think about performing in Saudi Arabia, people would get really kind of active in the crowd and it would take the show all these different directions. But the more I did the tour, I realized there were kind of like, four or five ranges of answers for all these questions.
Mike Birbiglia
That's right.
Ramy Youssef
And then I kind of started to figure out how to swerve. And so even shooting the special, we did four shows. Each show I did a different order because the crowd would take it somewhere else. And then I kind of had made this decision that I would probably just pick one of the shows to be the special. And that's basically what happened. Like, it's mainly just the third show.
Mike Birbiglia
So you ask people how much they pay for their wedding.
Ramy Youssef
Yeah.
Mike Birbiglia
What's the most shocking? How much people pay for their wedding?
Ramy Youssef
It depended where I was. I mean, there were some people who were, like, willing to share. They spent like, 4 or 500k.
Mike Birbiglia
No.
Ramy Youssef
Oh, yeah.
Mike Birbiglia
Yeah. I was a kid. I. I was a caterer in high school at weddings.
Ramy Youssef
Yeah.
Mike Birbiglia
And I. So I. I was privy to seeing some of these numbers and. Oh, yeah. I mean, it was. It was six figures. Like, easily six figures. People would spend on the wedding.
Ramy Youssef
Easily.
Mike Birbiglia
And also, there's all these. There's all these rough statistics on the likelihood of a wedding and divorce in this correlation with how much you're spending.
Ramy Youssef
Yeah.
Mike Birbiglia
On the wedding. Like, there's a lot of theories on that.
Ramy Youssef
Like this Peacocky. You know, we gotta prove this is the right marriage by spending all this money.
Mike Birbiglia
So that's why you lit up the pyramids. I love that part. You have this great story. It's a great special, by the way. I think it's your best special.
Ramy Youssef
I feel the same. I'm really happy that I got to do the first two. To get to. Is a process. I mean, that's what I love about this show.
Mike Birbiglia
Yeah.
Ramy Youssef
Is you're so good at kind of letting people in on what the process is. Oh, thanks. Like, I couldn't do the third without doing the first two.
Mike Birbiglia
Oh, that's interesting.
Ramy Youssef
You know, so say more about that. I mean, I said this to Nina at hbo. I thanked her for, you know, the. The latitude, because she just kind of is. She said, you want to do one? All right. When do you want to do it? And they come out and they don't say. They're just like, great or whatever.
Mike Birbiglia
But.
Ramy Youssef
But it.
Mike Birbiglia
That's great.
Ramy Youssef
You know, there's all this stuff I remember there's, like, the Hourglass quote where there's your taste and then there's. Where, you know what you're doing is.
Mike Birbiglia
Yeah.
Ramy Youssef
And I felt every time I finish a special, I'd be. Certain things I'd be so happy about and then other things. I go, okay, great. This is. There's these layers I want to strip away so that it feels more like myself and it feels more like my taste. So I'd finish always in the edit. I'm editing the special and then I have all these notes for what I want to do for next time.
Mike Birbiglia
Oh, interesting. I love that.
Ramy Youssef
And like performance stuff or, you know, which way I want to push it. And so this was the first special that I was sitting in the edit and notes super minimal. More. Oh, I just think I know what I want the next one to be now, you know. So it was a different.
Mike Birbiglia
I read this New York Times article once. I think it was profiling Miranda July. And she talks about how she writes after she makes a movie. Instructions for the next movie. That's.
Ramy Youssef
Yeah. And I'm.
Mike Birbiglia
And I. So I, I started doing that after Sleepwalk with Me. I wrote instructions for the next movie. And it was so helpful. Don't think twice.
Ramy Youssef
Is there an instruction that is worth sharing?
Mike Birbiglia
Stuck out. Here's the thing, here's the thing I, I learned from. And I'm about to make my third. Here's the thing. You have to hire a lot of people when you make a movie. It's kind of like, it's kind of like a lot of startups.
Ramy Youssef
A company.
Mike Birbiglia
Company, right.
Ramy Youssef
Yeah.
Mike Birbiglia
And you have to hire tons of people. Like, all told, you have to hire like 100 people.
Ramy Youssef
I think it's more or more.
Mike Birbiglia
I mean, technically more, but like one on one, you really have to interview for like 100.
Ramy Youssef
Yeah. And then they'll bring some of their people.
Mike Birbiglia
Exactly. And, and there's this, there's this quote from Ilya Kazan which basically says when he's inter. When he was interviewing people, whether for acting or whatever it is, is ask them what they're passionate about about this project and don't lead them to the answer.
Ramy Youssef
Wow.
Mike Birbiglia
And I was like, oh, he's got my number. Because I think on my first movie I made the mistake of asking the question and then being like, right. But it's about delusions, right. And it's about really wanting your dream or whatever, you know, And I'm like telling them and then they're repeating it back to me. You're hired.
Ramy Youssef
Well, because it's such a, it's such a stand up thing or a writer thing. Right. Because when you're a stand up, you're kind of seducing the audience to get to your point of view. So it's kind of this thing where you're. And Also, I think when you're making a movie, whatever, you're always selling the movie so hard.
Mike Birbiglia
Yeah.
Ramy Youssef
And then you get to this phase where you actually have to bring the people on board, and then you forget. No, no, they're actually. This is a phase where they're kind of selling you. It's kind of. It's a different.
Mike Birbiglia
Do you have that with either your TV series or your specials? Like, a specific thing you learned from one to the next?
Ramy Youssef
Yeah, always. It's always just. I mean, from the specials, it was really figuring out how to combine writing with the energy that I want to have and also pace and physicality and all those things. So it's always just like how to keep harnessing those things so that they feel you kind of want that gap to be less, actually. Mo had told me this thing once that really stuck with me, where he said his standup mentor told him, when you start stand up, there's a brick wall in front of you, and every show, you're chipping away at the brick wall between you and the audience. And like, some shows, you remove a whole brick, and some shows, you just chip away at the corner of one brick, and some shows you smash through the wall, and then all of a sudden there's this, like, new. Right. Isn't that so cool? Oh, that's beautiful. That really stuck with me.
Mike Birbiglia
Yeah. Mohammer.
Ramy Youssef
Yeah. Yeah, that really stuck with me. So there's always that. You're always going, where am I at with that brick wall? Where am I at with. I also view that analogy as there's just less of a gap.
Mike Birbiglia
Yeah.
Ramy Youssef
Between me and the thing. And we know we do Personas on stage to a degree.
Mike Birbiglia
Yeah.
Ramy Youssef
You kind of want it, though, to be. I think, I guess for me, the goal is that you're seeing kind of like my childish, devilish side on stage. That's all I want. I want to give you that inner child that just kind of wants to
Mike Birbiglia
fuck around a little bit. I were talking about that on this podcast. So fun, man. You want your. You want it to be like a. Like a middle school sleepover.
Ramy Youssef
Yeah, yeah.
Mike Birbiglia
You want it to be like that insane kind of like, why are we laughing?
Ramy Youssef
Yeah. Chris is so fun.
Mike Birbiglia
Oh, he's great. Yeah.
Ramy Youssef
Yeah. Really? I love him.
Mike Birbiglia
I run into. In the neighborhood. We live in the same neighborhood.
Ramy Youssef
This is my cup from my house. That's how close we live. I brought my own.
Mike Birbiglia
I get busted on that.
Ramy Youssef
By the way, I brought my own cup of coffee.
Mike Birbiglia
Someone on social media wrote I sound like Verbiglian in my neighborhood, and he's just walking around with a ceramic mug.
Ramy Youssef
Yeah.
Mike Birbiglia
I'm like, yeah, dude, I want my mug. Isn't that the idea? Isn't that the goal here? Yeah.
Ramy Youssef
The coffee shop's right there.
Mike Birbiglia
It's right there.
Ramy Youssef
My mug's over here.
Mike Birbiglia
Why do we need to make more garbage?
Ramy Youssef
Supporting the local economy and saving the environment.
Mike Birbiglia
Come on.
Ramy Youssef
It feels like you're getting busted for being good.
Mike Birbiglia
Yeah, exactly.
Ramy Youssef
That happens to you a lot.
Mike Birbiglia
I should snapshot it and post it myself, right?
Ramy Youssef
Like, get your own paparazzi.
Mike Birbiglia
I feel like when I run into you, you always look good. You always look really good, and I always look like I just got in a fist fight at the gym. You look great. What is your standard for walking out of the house? Do you have high standards? I feel like I never see Sloppy Ramy.
Ramy Youssef
Well, this is the thing. I think part of it's an illusion. I think that my established style is already somewhat refined, sloppy. So then once it's narrowed to that.
Mike Birbiglia
Right.
Ramy Youssef
You would never expect to see me in anything too buttoned up.
Mike Birbiglia
Right.
Ramy Youssef
So then this kind of thing becomes impressive. But this is quite easy. This is just a regular shirt and this good to go.
Mike Birbiglia
In your special, you compare yourself to Bad Bunny as well as God and the Pope.
Ramy Youssef
I compare myself to God? No. I guess I was gonna say no.
Mike Birbiglia
Never. I would never. The scene with Whoopi Goldberg at the Vatican. I feel like in the Holy Trinity.
Ramy Youssef
Okay. Yeah. I draw a link to maybe potentially understanding the concept of the Trinity.
Mike Birbiglia
By the way, people, when this comes out, the special is out. You should pause this, watch the special on hbo, come back, make it clear.
Ramy Youssef
I would never compare myself to God. Yes.
Mike Birbiglia
But people, you do have a Bad Bunny energy. I can't quite describe it.
Ramy Youssef
You know, this. It's. It comes at me a lot. Yeah, it comes at me a lot.
Mike Birbiglia
People say that.
Ramy Youssef
Oh, all the time. Yeah.
Mike Birbiglia
Is it the combination of, like, facial hair, curly hair, medium level facial hair,
Ramy Youssef
baseball cap, curly hair, sometimes glasses? Yeah.
Mike Birbiglia
Okay.
Ramy Youssef
Yeah, that's what it is.
Mike Birbiglia
Have you talked to him about this?
Ramy Youssef
No, I haven't seen him yet. It's, you know, it's. It's. There's a beef.
Mike Birbiglia
Do you think he gets it?
Ramy Youssef
I don't. I will say I'm not. I have no delusions. He's a bigger star, so I don't think he does in his communities. Maybe someone has said it to him, but I've always gotten. You know, people think I'm Puerto Rican and Then with him. But the thing is, is, like, I was.
Mike Birbiglia
People speak Spanish to you?
Ramy Youssef
Yeah, all the time. Yeah. And I have. I don't. I don't know.
Mike Birbiglia
It's. Oh, you don't have it?
Ramy Youssef
I don't have it.
Mike Birbiglia
No.
Ramy Youssef
We have Arabic. I don't have Spanish.
Mike Birbiglia
So you go back with Arabic?
Ramy Youssef
Yeah, yeah. Arabic, yeah. And then they go, whoa.
Mike Birbiglia
Yeah, yeah.
Ramy Youssef
What's going on?
Mike Birbiglia
Don't fuck with this guy.
Ramy Youssef
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Mike Birbiglia
It's.
Ramy Youssef
It's. It always evokes fear.
Mike Birbiglia
Yeah, yeah.
Ramy Youssef
But, yeah. So that he's taller. Let's be real on that.
Mike Birbiglia
He's a big guy.
Ramy Youssef
He's a tall dude, I think.
Mike Birbiglia
Yeah.
Ramy Youssef
But the interesting is I was doing this look. If you look at early photos of him when he first kind of comes out.
Mike Birbiglia
Oh, it's not shots fired.
Ramy Youssef
I'm just saying this was my look from Jump.
Mike Birbiglia
This in the camera.
Ramy Youssef
This is my look from Jump.
Mike Birbiglia
That's fired from Rami, you said.
Ramy Youssef
And I don't know if you. Do you do photos on this. I want you to just pull up early, Bad Bunny.
Mike Birbiglia
We can.
Ramy Youssef
And you'll see.
Mike Birbiglia
We can pull up early, Bad Bunny.
Ramy Youssef
You'll see. I, you know, start having more of a public appearance at a certain point, with a certain style, a certain vibe.
Mike Birbiglia
All of a sudden, oh, my gosh. So, you know, this is asking for trouble.
Ramy Youssef
I. Listen, man, you. And maybe one day we'll both be on the podcast, talking about it, working it out. I. I'm a big fan, and I want to be clear. I am a big fan.
Mike Birbiglia
We're all big fans of him.
Ramy Youssef
You know, I just want to be clear. And this isn't about disrespect. It's just about lineage.
Mike Birbiglia
All right. For your wedding, did you get fresh water or Nile water? I'll give context to the listeners. This is your wedding planner basically trying to up. I would say, upsell you. You want fresh water, you want Nile water. That really killed me.
Ramy Youssef
It was just. The bit is really about me being kind of a colonizer, thinking I can go over to Egypt and get a discount and get everything I want. And doesn't work out for me. Right. In the bit. Or in real life.
Mike Birbiglia
But in real life.
Ramy Youssef
But in real life, the wedding was best. Best couple days of my life. And it was really great. And it was fresh water.
Mike Birbiglia
I really. You got fresh water. I really felt for you when you were. Because. Okay, so the wedding. I'll bring people into it. The wedding planner was like, we can light up the pyramids. Do you have photos of this?
Ramy Youssef
Yeah.
Mike Birbiglia
Are they great?
Ramy Youssef
I mean, we have amazing wedding photos.
Mike Birbiglia
Wow.
Ramy Youssef
Yeah.
Mike Birbiglia
He's like, you can light up the pyramids. This is why weddings cost so much.
Ramy Youssef
Yeah.
Mike Birbiglia
Because the wedding planner has so much power.
Ramy Youssef
Yeah.
Mike Birbiglia
He. Because they leverages your entire relationship.
Ramy Youssef
I mean there's just access. Yeah.
Mike Birbiglia
For your wife to. Do you want the lit up pyramids or just nothing on the pyramid? No. Yeah.
Ramy Youssef
If you want dark pyramids, by all means.
Mike Birbiglia
Dark pyramids are fine.
Ramy Youssef
By all means. If you don't love her, by all means. You can fly all the way over here, bring all these people over here, have dark pyramids if that's what you want.
Mike Birbiglia
I really felt your pain though because you were like, you paid the extra money, you lit up the pyramids. And then no one's looking at the pyramids.
Ramy Youssef
Because it's cold.
Mike Birbiglia
Because it's cold.
Ramy Youssef
People go inside.
Mike Birbiglia
Yeah.
Ramy Youssef
Yeah. And people have been looking at the pyramids for hours and. And then all of a sudden, oh, cool. Now it's lit up. That's not why they're there.
Mike Birbiglia
Right.
Ramy Youssef
They're there for the relationships, they're there for the family, they're there for the love. But when you're thinking about the spectacle of the wedding, you forget for a moment. You forget all those things. Yeah.
Mike Birbiglia
People, you talk about a destination wedding, that's a line in the sand, you know.
Ramy Youssef
And it's really.
Mike Birbiglia
Egypt is far.
Ramy Youssef
It's far. But it was one of those things where I kind of over invited. Cuz then I go, this is so cool. You get to invite people to your wedding and they're not going to come because it's so far. But you get to say you invited them.
Mike Birbiglia
Right.
Ramy Youssef
I was very wrong. The amount of people people showed up, the amount of we barely had no's. Because you have people who their whole lives are just looking for a reason to go to Egypt.
Mike Birbiglia
Egypt. That's right.
Ramy Youssef
And here's one.
Mike Birbiglia
That's right.
Ramy Youssef
And I can go and it's at the pyramids. I can basically bang out every archaeological goal I've ever had and see a guy I like and be there for only three days if I want. Or I can add days. We barely got no's.
Mike Birbiglia
How many people?
Ramy Youssef
I think it was 400, man.
Mike Birbiglia
How much did it cost?
Ramy Youssef
I am not gonna say that because my father does not know.
Mike Birbiglia
400 people. Yeah, that's an expensive wedding, bro.
Ramy Youssef
That's light work too for an Arab wedding. I'm telling you. I've been to Arab weddings that are deeper in the hundreds.
Mike Birbiglia
Really?
Ramy Youssef
I've been Indian wedding. That was a thousand. It was a conference. We had badges.
Mike Birbiglia
Who's the most famous person at your wedding?
Ramy Youssef
I don't. You know, a lot of people said they were coming and then didn't come. So there are people who are like, I'm definitely coming, and then. And then didn't show up. So I think I'll have the greatest answer. Most famous person, my wedding. My wife. She's all that matters.
Mike Birbiglia
Nice.
Ramy Youssef
What do you think of that? Was that cool?
Mike Birbiglia
No, that was beautiful. We're gonna cut this up and we're gonna send it to her. She'll get it. She'll get it at the end of her dog walk outside. She did the design, by the way, on the special.
Ramy Youssef
Yeah.
Mike Birbiglia
She designed the set, which they now kept at the hideout.
Ramy Youssef
Yeah.
Mike Birbiglia
And Chris Storer directed it.
Ramy Youssef
Yeah. So it was. It was perfect because they were finishing the last season of the Bear.
Mike Birbiglia
Yeah.
Ramy Youssef
A bunch of those guys have worked on the specials. Christian Springer, who I've worked with a little bit. We've shot a couple things together, but he shot Atlanta, and he's just incredible.
Mike Birbiglia
Oh, wow.
Ramy Youssef
And so I. I had sent store a reference point of the end of Raging Bull, you know, when he starts doing comedy. Yeah. In that small New York bar where it's just this, like, rail bar shot onto the stage.
Mike Birbiglia
Yep.
Ramy Youssef
I said I always wanted to do something that feels like it wraps in how people are watching it, and it's super focused.
Mike Birbiglia
Yeah.
Ramy Youssef
So the special opens that way. There's this cool bar shot that kind of gets you into the room. We shot it on film.
Mike Birbiglia
Yeah.
Ramy Youssef
That's part of the. Thanks to Martin Scorsese in there because we just. That was the inspiration. Yeah.
Mike Birbiglia
Wow.
Ramy Youssef
Yeah. Oh, that's interesting.
Mike Birbiglia
Do you know if he saw it?
Ramy Youssef
I just sent it to him literally this morning.
Mike Birbiglia
Wow.
Ramy Youssef
I just, like, emailed it and I said, hope you go watch this.
Mike Birbiglia
Will you write down his email for me? We're gonna. All the listeners are gonna email him.
Ramy Youssef
Yeah. Imagine. I feel like you'd love it.
Mike Birbiglia
I feel like you go, wow. That's the most emails I've ever gotten in a day.
Ramy Youssef
I talked to him once, and it was so cool because he was like. He's like, yeah. You know how these Hollywood guys are to us. Literally just, oh, that's so funny.
Mike Birbiglia
Stars, like, stars are.
Ramy Youssef
No, like the industry or something. Who's us?
Mike Birbiglia
You are it.
Ramy Youssef
I was like, you're a. You're Scorsese. It's a verb. It's an adjective.
Mike Birbiglia
Right.
Ramy Youssef
You're a whole thing.
Mike Birbiglia
Completely.
Ramy Youssef
But he has this New York mentality that is so. It's so cool. He's so. He has this amazing, like, hunger for man. We're just out here trying to make movies. We're just out here trying to do our thing.
Mike Birbiglia
100. Everyone I talk to who at a high level of directing will say to me, 99 of directing a movie is people saying, no. Yeah.
Ramy Youssef
High level guys.
Mike Birbiglia
Yeah. The crew person said no. The actor said no. The location said no. It's just all day. Battle. Yeah. You know, it's a battle.
Ramy Youssef
It's so funny because when you're starting, you have this, like, weird, kind of ambiguous they, are they gonna let me.
Mike Birbiglia
Yeah, yeah.
Ramy Youssef
Are they gonna get in my way? And these top guys. And they're still talking about they.
Mike Birbiglia
Yeah. Yeah. It's confusing.
Ramy Youssef
I'm like, wait, I thought you were part of they.
Mike Birbiglia
I thought you were they.
Ramy Youssef
How are you not they?
Mike Birbiglia
You're not they.
Ramy Youssef
You're me if you're not they, and
Mike Birbiglia
you're me if you're us. We're all in a lot of trouble.
Ramy Youssef
You still think there's a they?
Mike Birbiglia
No, I think that that's one of the most illuminating things about having any modicum of success in show businesses. You go, oh, a. It's never easy.
Ramy Youssef
It's never easy.
Mike Birbiglia
It's always hard. And it always feels like you're going up upstream.
Ramy Youssef
It's so. And it's inspiring.
Mike Birbiglia
Yeah.
Ramy Youssef
These guys, you see them and listen to their interviews. You. Whatever. And you just go, they're. They're just like, oh, I hope I have enough time to do this thing. I hope I can do this thing. And you go, whoa.
Mike Birbiglia
Well, this Scorsese documentary.
Ramy Youssef
Oh, it's so good.
Mike Birbiglia
Apple.
Ramy Youssef
It's so.
Mike Birbiglia
I usually don't like gushing. Gush. But it's, like, about a random documentary. But it's like, man, did they nail it. And. And there. And for the listeners of this show, it's worth watching, particularly because you realize this iconic filmmaker.
Ramy Youssef
Yeah.
Mike Birbiglia
At every step of his career was like, I'm trying to get this movie up. I'm trying to get this movie up. No one wants to make this movie. And you're like, wait, wait. You. Like. You already did Raging Bull. You are. You know, you already. You know you already did After Hours. And it's all. And no one wants to make his movies.
Ramy Youssef
It's incredible.
Mike Birbiglia
It's fascinating. Everyone's a battle. It's bizarre. So, anyway, just write down his Email? No, because I have some questions for him as a follow up.
Ramy Youssef
I'll check. My phone's. Yeah, over there.
Mike Birbiglia
No, I have one side.
Ramy Youssef
No, no, but I. My phone is on my. Yeah, no, no, but I'll.
Mike Birbiglia
I'm analog, so I got you. I knew it. I knew. It's Marty's Gmail. He got Marty at Gmail.
Ramy Youssef
He was Marty at Gmail.
Mike Birbiglia
No, no. You talk about people who talk about innovation people. They're way ahead of the curve. He got Marty at Gmail. Support for working it out comes from nocd. NOCD is the world's leading provider of OCD treatment. It's covered by insurance for over 138 million Americans. All their licensed therapists specialize in ERP therapy and will help you learn to take the power away from intrusive thoughts in live, face to face virtual sessions. They also provide support between sessions when you need it most. So you're never facing OCD alone. For some people, a what if isn't just a passing thought. It's a loop that you can't even get out of. What if I did something terrible? What if my relationship is a mistake? What if I can't trust my own mind? And no matter what you do to try to feel better, reassuring yourself, replaying, researching, the thought just keeps coming back. That can actually be ocd, not the organizing stereotype. Real OCD is persistent, unwanted, intrusive thoughts that feel totally out of character, along with mental or physical behaviors that you feel driven to do to get relief. If you're struggling with OCD or unrelenting intrusive thoughts, NOCD can help. Book a free 15 minute call to get started. Learn.nocd.com Mike Support for working it out comes from Pesti. Pesti is do it yourself Pest control. Oh man. With Pesti, you can get started at 35 bucks per treatment with a customized plan based on your location, bugs and climate. I just have to say, like, that's. That's a lot less than I've. I've paid for my treatments, but not anymore. Now I got Pesty. You know what's great about the Pesti website? They have images of all these bugs so you can tell what it is you're dealing with. Testy's Kid and Pet Friendly. Thank God the pesticides they ship are fully registered and have been used in hospitals and schools all over the country. Pesty offers 100% bug free guarantee or your money back. If the bugs don't go away. You'll get a full refund or the Bugs. Will I added that. Get bugs out of your house with Pesti. Go to pesti.com wio for an extra 10% off your order. That's P-E-S-T-I-E.com wio for an extra ten percent off. At this point, what's our level of friendship? And I'm going to clarify. Would you come to the funeral? Would you speak at the funeral? Would you happen to have a prior work commitment on the day of the funeral?
Ramy Youssef
Okay, I'm coming to the funeral.
Mike Birbiglia
Great.
Ramy Youssef
That's easy.
Mike Birbiglia
That's all I'm saying.
Ramy Youssef
That's 100%. The only prior work thing could be that I was. I'm just gonna give you the truth. This is 100%. The truth would be that I was in production where I'm kind of the person doing everything.
Mike Birbiglia
Right.
Ramy Youssef
Right. So let's say I'm only acting in it.
Mike Birbiglia
Right?
Ramy Youssef
I'm gonna call them and I'm gonna say, hey, can you move my scenes? I gotta go to Birbiglius.
Mike Birbiglia
Wow.
Ramy Youssef
I would do that. If I'm doing everything.
Mike Birbiglia
I like shorthand.
Ramy Youssef
If I'm doing everything, I kind of like the shorthand.
Mike Birbiglia
It makes me feel warm about my funeral. Yeah.
Ramy Youssef
Yeah.
Mike Birbiglia
100% verbiglias.
Ramy Youssef
Because I. I'm be honest with you. Everyone's gonna know. Everyone's gonna know the context. This is news.
Mike Birbiglia
Right.
Ramy Youssef
You know? You know, so I hope. Absolutely. Dude, rest easy on that. Dude, rest easy on that. It's news.
Mike Birbiglia
I need you to get and kind of drum up some business.
Ramy Youssef
Oh, without a doubt. I mean, remember I was walking around going like, why isn't anyone talking about Palestine? If you think I'm not going to go, why isn't anyone talking about. Why isn't anyone talking about what's happening in Lebanon while the Iran thing's happening?
Mike Birbiglia
Right.
Ramy Youssef
How come no one's ever been.
Mike Birbiglia
But I think that's even a bigger issue.
Ramy Youssef
These are all. It's massive. I mean, Lebanon is. I mean, it's crazy.
Mike Birbiglia
No, that's a bigger issue than me dying.
Ramy Youssef
All the things mentioned are way bigger than anything that has or will happen to you. That's for sure. But I'm just talking about the kind of way I show up.
Mike Birbiglia
Okay.
Ramy Youssef
So I'm just. These are just kind of like algebraic verse for the energy that I could bring. Yeah. For this kind of.
Mike Birbiglia
So I'm going to need that.
Ramy Youssef
That's coming. But it won't be needed. It'll already be. That context is there.
Mike Birbiglia
I'm going to need Mulaney.
Ramy Youssef
And everyone's there.
Mike Birbiglia
I might need Conan.
Ramy Youssef
Everyone's there. And I also pray. We're talking about something that's happening in, you know, 40 years at a minimum.
Mike Birbiglia
This is far. God willing.
Ramy Youssef
Far.
Mike Birbiglia
God willing.
Ramy Youssef
So let's pray on that. So now I'm coming. Yes. Am I speaking? That is. Is really like, that's at the behest of your family. That's at the behest of. Of the people around, you know, I'm not forcing. I never force.
Mike Birbiglia
Speaking at a funeral.
Ramy Youssef
If it feels like there's momentum for me to do it, absolutely, I'm doing it.
Mike Birbiglia
What if you give a speech and you go, you know the last thing he said to me when no one was there was he. He's. He's converted.
Ramy Youssef
Look. Yeah, I have an agenda.
Mike Birbiglia
Spoiler alert. Pause the podcast. This is a callback to Robbie converting the Pope. That's a great. Is that the final line? Yeah, it's the. It's basically the final line.
Ramy Youssef
Basically the final line.
Mike Birbiglia
My wife. Yeah. Yeah.
Ramy Youssef
It's like I should have just only.
Mike Birbiglia
You call back to wife thoughts. Yeah, Wife thoughts is great. Did you think about calling the special wife thoughts?
Ramy Youssef
I did, I did.
Mike Birbiglia
Because it's like you basically to encapsulate it. It's like there's things you say and then there's things that you say to your friends, and then there's like, beyond that, which is wife, wife.
Ramy Youssef
Things you would only say to your
Mike Birbiglia
wife, your wife, or your husband.
Ramy Youssef
So I kind of test the audience. Hey, can I share one with you? And let's see how it goes. And kind of that last leg is. Is. Is. I think I end on three thoughts.
Mike Birbiglia
Yeah.
Ramy Youssef
That previously were only wife.
Mike Birbiglia
I think that is one of the most beautiful things about marriage. And of course, it's not limited to marriage. You could just be in a relationship and you could have wife, wife, husband thoughts. But. But there's something about the next step of the thing of, like, even in theory, we're gonna try to go till death on this thing.
Ramy Youssef
Yeah.
Mike Birbiglia
You know what I mean? Like, I think that's one of the significant things about marriage. You go, yeah, Everybody gets divorced. 50% divorce rate. Whatever.
Ramy Youssef
Whatever.
Mike Birbiglia
Well, we're going to try.
Ramy Youssef
Yeah.
Mike Birbiglia
And that's why you get the wife thoughts.
Ramy Youssef
That's where you get those.
Mike Birbiglia
Yeah. Sometimes too many. Too many wife thoughts.
Ramy Youssef
Sure. Sometimes I can only imagine your wife goes, can you chill? Chill for a sec?
Mike Birbiglia
Yeah.
Ramy Youssef
Calm down.
Mike Birbiglia
Yeah, yeah.
Ramy Youssef
It. But it is. It's like, you know, you're, you're kind of committing with someone to everything that can be seen and not seen. And I think that's what's exciting, you know, and that's say more about that. You know, it's, this is a spiritual exercise. You know, things are going to come up about my past, things are going to come up about my, my hopes or things that I feel and from her. And none of it is what you knew from the beginning because you couldn't know.
Mike Birbiglia
Right.
Ramy Youssef
So I see it as this, this journey, you know, with someone who like the success of it is, are we, do we stay in the car and do we keep navigating together and do we keep doing that? But also if you just get further and then, you know, for some reason people are like, hey, actually I don't think this is, you know, this is the end of the road for us or whatever. I don't think that that's like, that's not a failure. You know what I mean? That's why this whole, all these divorce rates and stuff. Not a failure.
Mike Birbiglia
Right.
Ramy Youssef
I mean it's, it doesn't have to be a failure.
Mike Birbiglia
Right? You went, yeah, yeah.
Ramy Youssef
You did something you couldn't have done
Mike Birbiglia
alone for 10 years, 20 years, 30
Ramy Youssef
years, done it alone.
Mike Birbiglia
That's right.
Ramy Youssef
That's cool. You know.
Mike Birbiglia
Do you have wife thoughts now that didn't make to the special?
Ramy Youssef
Oh yeah, of course.
Mike Birbiglia
Do you have any ones that are top of mind this week?
Ramy Youssef
I'm trying to think if I have anything to. I mean, not that maybe not this week. Anything that's like, you know what I've been thinking about is just. And this was, it's interesting. There's like things that don't make it into the special. But then I kind of realized, oh, this is like a way bigger chunk.
Mike Birbiglia
Yeah.
Ramy Youssef
And I think I've been. And again I'm always kind of looking to interrogate myself. That's the thesis of why I like stand up.
Mike Birbiglia
Yeah.
Ramy Youssef
And then I'm gonna rope you into it. I've been really kind of fascinated with when I choose to talk about other people.
Mike Birbiglia
Uh huh.
Ramy Youssef
Or how meaty it can be. I guess it's on a level, it's gossip, but it's also like it gets kind of, you know, how people just bond over, you know, dude, that guy fucking.
Mike Birbiglia
Yeah.
Ramy Youssef
Guy. Oh, he's so, you know, like that, those, those pockets of things.
Mike Birbiglia
Yeah.
Ramy Youssef
I've been trying to really understand like can I make it a whole day like not talking about anybody.
Mike Birbiglia
Oh, that's interesting.
Ramy Youssef
Could I just. One whole day, only topics.
Mike Birbiglia
Yeah.
Ramy Youssef
Only my feelings about my own. Or I can ask you something about you.
Mike Birbiglia
So in other words, go a day without sort of gossiping about anybody. About anybody.
Ramy Youssef
Can we do that?
Mike Birbiglia
You ever read four agreements?
Ramy Youssef
Yeah.
Mike Birbiglia
That's one of them.
Ramy Youssef
It's one of them.
Mike Birbiglia
And it's. It's hard to do.
Ramy Youssef
So hard.
Mike Birbiglia
It's so hard to not gossip for a day.
Ramy Youssef
So I had this bit that I was trying to do that I think is like the beginning of the next hour, which is basically try and do a dinner, see if you can make it to dessert.
Mike Birbiglia
Yeah.
Ramy Youssef
Like, I don't even think you could make it past appetizers.
Mike Birbiglia
No. Because. Well, what's funny is the bit that I have from years ago that's similar to wife thoughts is my favorite thing my wife and I do is drive away from the party. And I think that's one of the special things about marriage is you have the party and then you have a second chance of the drive home from the party or the subway home. And it's like the party can be garbage and it makes the drive home better.
Ramy Youssef
Yeah.
Mike Birbiglia
It's like, you know, like, what the fuck was that?
Ramy Youssef
The sports analysts on espn. It's always better when the game was awful.
Mike Birbiglia
Yeah.
Ramy Youssef
I mean, the way they can rip into the teeth.
Mike Birbiglia
That's right.
Ramy Youssef
Like, it's like, what are they doing? The coach has got to be fired. You know, they got a divorce. Those two got to break up. I mean, it's the play by play, the color commentary that you can do with your wife.
Mike Birbiglia
Yes.
Ramy Youssef
Is incredible.
Mike Birbiglia
It's huge.
Ramy Youssef
And I kind of am like, oh, can I, Can I challenge us?
Mike Birbiglia
Yeah.
Ramy Youssef
To not.
Mike Birbiglia
To not do it. That's hard.
Ramy Youssef
What happens then?
Mike Birbiglia
Yeah.
Ramy Youssef
Something cool. Something interesting could occur. Yeah, yeah, yeah. That's what I was thinking about.
Mike Birbiglia
You said that you got to do a bucket list goal of playing basketball with Adam Sandler.
Ramy Youssef
Oh, yeah.
Mike Birbiglia
And you said it was good. But he's very aggressive and he fouls a lot. Did you calibrate your game against him? Did you switch from, oh, my gosh, this is actually happening to, oh, wow, I really need to play basketball now?
Ramy Youssef
I think I quickly got into I need to play basketball now. Yeah, yeah. And I, I got aggressive as well, is what I didn't mention in the quote and needs to be said.
Mike Birbiglia
So were you fouling?
Ramy Youssef
I fouled, yeah. Yeah. And so they call fouls. We didn't really call fouls, but it was basically, it was two on two. I Was playing with David fenkle. Works at 8:24. So me and. Me and David against Adam and Josh Safdie.
Mike Birbiglia
Oh, wow.
Ramy Youssef
Josh is a skinny dude, right? Yeah. And we're doing D on each other, and I'm. It's not. You know. You know what I mean? It's not my fault.
Mike Birbiglia
Yeah.
Ramy Youssef
Josh falls a couple times.
Mike Birbiglia
Okay.
Ramy Youssef
He's not happy. Right. Then this is the morning of the Golden Globes.
Mike Birbiglia
Hold on, hold on. Yeah, he falls a couple times.
Ramy Youssef
Yeah.
Mike Birbiglia
But like, you're saying he. He's not happy. He thinks it's your fault, but it's not.
Ramy Youssef
I guess these things are debatable.
Mike Birbiglia
Okay.
Ramy Youssef
You know, I think. I think it's. We're moving.
Mike Birbiglia
Yeah.
Ramy Youssef
I think we've got, you know.
Mike Birbiglia
Yeah, Yeah.
Ramy Youssef
A couple times I boxed them out, which is how the game works, Right. Is it my fault you fell?
Mike Birbiglia
Right.
Ramy Youssef
There's no ref.
Mike Birbiglia
Understood.
Ramy Youssef
You know what I mean? That kind of thing. Golden Globes that night.
Mike Birbiglia
Just write down his email.
Ramy Youssef
Golden Globes that night. Chalamet walks up to me.
Mike Birbiglia
Okay.
Ramy Youssef
And goes, I hear you foul a lot.
Mike Birbiglia
I love it.
Ramy Youssef
I go, dude, that's.
Mike Birbiglia
I hear you foul.
Ramy Youssef
I hear you foul a lot. And I go, that's not exactly how it went down.
Mike Birbiglia
Yeah.
Ramy Youssef
And he just kind of gives this smile as if to say, I think that is how it went down. Walks. What do you do with that?
Mike Birbiglia
You know, I mean.
Ramy Youssef
Yeah.
Mike Birbiglia
Here's what I would say.
Ramy Youssef
I just need some on the court advice here, you know, from Mike.
Mike Birbiglia
I don't like how you laughed through that sentence. That makes me feel bad.
Ramy Youssef
I get that. I get you feeling bad about that.
Mike Birbiglia
I would guess that you aren't fouling. I think you're boxing out, not being there.
Ramy Youssef
Yeah.
Mike Birbiglia
Because fouling, you'd really have to be using your hands. Right. You'd have to, you know, look.
Ramy Youssef
All right. And this is the thing, if I'm being honest, I can think there were probably, like, four little scuffles in the game, you know, play by play here. One was a foul.
Mike Birbiglia
Okay. Did they call it?
Ramy Youssef
Yeah, yeah, we. I think there was a ball exchange of, like. I was like, hey, I think I fouled there. One was gray, two. Who knows?
Mike Birbiglia
You're also like, here's what I know about being your friend for a lot of years. You're a competitive person. Like, and by the way, so is Sandler.
Ramy Youssef
Oh, my God. I mean, that's what brought it out of me because I walked in being like, oh, man, we're going to be like, shooting Hoops. I thought we're going to just be having fun. I thought, I thought there's a good chance he's doing accents. Like, I thought it's just going to be like. And I go, wait, we're playing a game. Well, if we're playing a game, I'm going to fucking play. Yeah, yeah, yeah, I'm here to play. Yeah, I like it. It's fun.
Mike Birbiglia
You should have said to shallow me. I'm trying to dream big, dude.
Ramy Youssef
I mean, yeah, you know, at the time that marketing wasn't out, but you bet. You bet. I've replayed it in my head. But this is the thing, the thing I like about competition in general.
Mike Birbiglia
Yeah.
Ramy Youssef
This is like my what I. What I. What excites me about it. I like when people are raising the bar. That's what's fun. Because then you go, yeah, we can do that. That's what's fun about it.
Mike Birbiglia
I like that.
Ramy Youssef
That's what's fun about it. Never anything interpersonal, though. It's never like, there's no. The joy isn't winning as much as it is getting to do something you weren't able to do, you didn't know if you could do, you hadn't done yet. That's where it becomes really fun. Like when you see art you really like. You go, yeah.
Mike Birbiglia
Well, I even had that. I even had that with your special. I was watching you do your story to close about meeting the pope and I was with you. We met the Pope and I did a bit about it closed my loved. And it was like that thing where you're in a drawing class in college and you're sketching the same model and you look at the other person's paper, you're like, motherfucker. You know what I mean? Like, that guy's a little better. No, I did. I liked yours better.
Ramy Youssef
No, but I was very inspired. Like, I thought yours. But again, what I loved about it was that we think about religion differently. That's what I liked about it. So I was like, it's like in a way, a comp, but it's not a comp.
Mike Birbiglia
Yeah.
Ramy Youssef
You know, we were both at the same place.
Mike Birbiglia
Right.
Ramy Youssef
But we have a totally different framework of how we view the world.
Mike Birbiglia
Yeah.
Ramy Youssef
And so that's where it becomes cool where I go, oh, wait, Mike. Yeah. That is like. That is worth a bit.
Mike Birbiglia
Yeah.
Ramy Youssef
You know, and then. And that's exciting. And then. But it's never, you know, each of us could only do the one thing.
Mike Birbiglia
Right?
Ramy Youssef
And I think this is something that I love. You know, this is even in every spiritual practice. But someone, you know, I heard this, this sheikh say this once and I think it applies to anything he said. Every single human being on earth, Earth has a unique advantage on their journey. And that is literally just if you embrace the thing about you. Yeah, you have a unique advantage.
Mike Birbiglia
That's right.
Ramy Youssef
And so seeing people embrace their unique advantage makes you want to embrace your unique advantage. So that's, that feels kind of like competition, but it's not. It's actually like, it's, it's, it's, it's. I don't know, it's, it's inspiring.
Mike Birbiglia
Well, that's right. It's like I always thought that about like bits. Sometimes people will be like, oh, that person did a bit. But then the other guy, this person stole it or whatever. No, no, no, they didn't steal it. If they did it. Well, because every topic is going to be covered. Literally every topic is going to be covered.
Ramy Youssef
I hate that when someone's, someone goes, no, bro, I talk about supermarket prices
Mike Birbiglia
are mine.
Ramy Youssef
You talk about supermarket prices. I talk about the Mexican family. Oh, you talk about the Mexican family. Get the hell out of here.
Mike Birbiglia
Like, it's like that's not subway delays. That's not the someone who loses mine. That's not what we're talking about.
Ramy Youssef
You know, write something that only you could tell because I don't actually care about the topic. I care about how you interact within it.
Mike Birbiglia
Support for work and out comes from Shopify. Shopify is the commerce platform behind millions of businesses around the world and 10% of all e commerce in the US get ready with your own design studio. With hundreds of ready to use templates, Shopify helps you build a beautiful online store that matches your brand's style. Get the word out. Like you have a marketing team behind you. Easily create email and social media campaigns wherever customers are scrolling and strolling. Best yet, Shopify is your commerce expert. With world class expertise in everything from managing inventory to international shipping to processing returns and beyond, Shopify helps you find your customers with easy to run email and social media campaigns. And what if I get stuck? Shopify is always around to share advice with their award winning 247 customer support. Shopify is here to help you move confidently into the e commerce space. It's time to turn those wh ifs into with Shopify today. Sign up for your $1 per month trial today at shopify.comwio go to shopify.comwio that's shopify.comwio support for working it out comes from Aura Frames. Mother's Day is right around the corner. Take it from me, an Aura Frame is the perfect Mother's Day gift. Make Mother's Day special with Aura Frames. It's like a wifi connected digital picture frame. Jenny and I have these at our apartment. We love them. Super easy to upload and share photos via the Aura app. And if you're giving Aura as a gift, you can even personalize the frame with preloaded photos and memories. It's just a really pleasant, super personal thing that it's a perfect gift because it's one of those things you wouldn't think to buy for yourself. Named Number one by Wirecutter, you can save on the gifts moms love by visiting OraFrames.com for a limited time listeners. You can get $25 off their bestselling Carver Mat frame with code WIO. That's a U R A frames.com promo code WIO for working it out. Support the show by mentioning us at checkout. We really appreciate it. Terms and conditions apply. Support for working it out comes from Quint. I love Quints. Quince has all the wardrobe staples for spring. Think 100% European linen shorts, linen shirts from $34 lightweight, breathable, comfortable, 100% Pima cotton tees with a softness that has to be flat felt to be believed. I just got myself a three pack of Alpaca Crew socks from Quince. You know how soft they are? Exactly how soft you imagine. Everything is priced 50 to 80% less than what you'd find at similar brands. Quince works directly with ethical factories and cuts out the metal men so you're getting premium materials without the markup. Refresh your everyday with luxury you'll actually use. Head to quint.com burbigs for free shipping on your order and 365 day returns now available in Canada too. Hello Canadian listeners. That's Q-U-I-N-C-E.com Brbigs for free shipping and 365 day returns. Quince.com Brbigs. Do you have new bits that you're working on that you that are half, you know, thoughts or seeds of anything?
Ramy Youssef
I'm a little bit stressed because this is so funny. I was talking about this with my buddy who does music and he was like, he's like, oh, it's so weird. You finished your special and you put it out and I'm sure people want to see you after the special, but you Just did all your material.
Mike Birbiglia
That's right.
Ramy Youssef
And he. And he said, well, for me, when I put out my album, everyone just wants to see me play my album live.
Mike Birbiglia
Absolutely. And so same with when people write books.
Ramy Youssef
It's crazy.
Mike Birbiglia
They just want you to read excerpts.
Ramy Youssef
Yeah, I just want to hear it in the author's voice. So I'm supposed to do this, the Netflix fest in May.
Mike Birbiglia
I'm doing the same thing. I'm in the same boat.
Ramy Youssef
I don't have a joke.
Mike Birbiglia
No. Trust me. And that's why we're working some jokes today.
Ramy Youssef
No, I don't have one.
Mike Birbiglia
You don't even have.
Ramy Youssef
I don't have anything. I have the thing I told you earlier about getting through dinner with my wife. And it's not even like. It's like a cute thought right now. Like, I need to, you know, so I'm. I'm in a bad place.
Mike Birbiglia
Okay, so we'll find something then. We'll find something. No. Cause I feel the same way. I feel like I have about a half hour. I've a half hour stuff.
Ramy Youssef
Wait. That's incredible. Half hour is huge.
Mike Birbiglia
It's okay.
Ramy Youssef
So are you supposed to do an hour at Netflix?
Mike Birbiglia
I'm doing a half hour. Cause it's Mike working it out with friends. Oh, cool. Yes. So I have two friends. It's like May 6th.
Ramy Youssef
Yeah, I'm doing the 5th. I'm doing half hour with Alana Glazer.
Mike Birbiglia
Nice.
Ramy Youssef
I told her I would open.
Mike Birbiglia
Do you have. What do you have? You have 10 minutes. You don't have 10 minutes, but you always have a back.
Ramy Youssef
I will.
Mike Birbiglia
I always have a back. I always get 10 or 15, probably.
Ramy Youssef
I'm used to having a reserve of something. I think I have 10.
Mike Birbiglia
I think I've got 10, but by the way.
Ramy Youssef
I think I've got 10.
Mike Birbiglia
But by the way, here's what I've noticed, cuz. What do you have three or four specials now?
Ramy Youssef
This is my third.
Mike Birbiglia
Third?
Ramy Youssef
Yeah.
Mike Birbiglia
So it's like at this point, you can re think and reconfigure things from your first two specials. Like you can go back into topics that you had.
Ramy Youssef
Have you done that?
Mike Birbiglia
Yeah, like sometimes on the. I'll do it. Like if I'm doing an hour, like right now, this summer, I'm doing like a few situations where I'm doing like 40, 50. I'll do 20 minutes of. I'll do the scrambler from Girlfriend's Boyfriend. I'll do the sleepwalking story from Sleepwalk with Me. And like because what I find is that if you revisit stories, it's new for the audience. They haven't listened to it in 10 years.
Ramy Youssef
Wow.
Mike Birbiglia
You know what I mean? Yeah. And then it's new for you because it's where you are in life now. It's like, I tell stories about, like, middle schools. Like, I. I have a middle school kid now.
Ramy Youssef
Yeah.
Mike Birbiglia
You know what I mean? Like, my life is different.
Ramy Youssef
Yeah.
Mike Birbiglia
It's like, you can talk about being single now in relation to that. You're now married and your life is completely different.
Ramy Youssef
I kind of actually. Well, first off, this is really. This is really good advice, because
Mike Birbiglia
a
Ramy Youssef
friend of mine said this to me, my friend Mustafa. He's an amazing musician, but I was talking to him about how. And I don't know if you feel this way, but how I feel, everything I do, it feels like I'm trying to keep getting at the same thing that made me start.
Mike Birbiglia
Yeah, the same.
Ramy Youssef
Like, we kind of each have our. You know, people say, what's. You know, your voice.
Mike Birbiglia
Yeah.
Ramy Youssef
But in a lot of ways, even, like, what's your tension? What's the thing you're going up against? And in a lot of ways, I feel like I'm. And he said this to me. He was like, you know, you're. He was like. I think he was like, the best artists are scaling the same mountain, and each piece gets them higher to the top.
Mike Birbiglia
Yeah.
Ramy Youssef
Of this idea that. That. That is eating at them.
Mike Birbiglia
Yeah. Yeah, totally.
Ramy Youssef
You know, and. And I love that because I thought. Yeah. I never feel like I only get closer to the thing. But then, like, actually, I got to talk about this thing again. There's this. Because there's a whole other angle that I see now that I'm a little bit at a different point in the mountain. You know, it's like.
Mike Birbiglia
And it's also like. You know, people say that also, but novelists are always. A novelist is always writing the same novel over and over again. Yeah.
Ramy Youssef
Yeah.
Mike Birbiglia
And filmmakers, of course. I mean, absolutely. I mean, Scorsese is a great example of this. How different is Goodfellas from. From Raging Bull? Like, there's a lot of things that cross over.
Ramy Youssef
Yeah. I mean, it's. Yeah, it's wild, but, like, you know,
Mike Birbiglia
it's obsessions, I guess I would say, like, in terms of, like, this being a territory of, like, trying to mine in the early stage. Like, what are you obsessed with that you haven't talked about on stage?
Ramy Youssef
Yeah.
Mike Birbiglia
Like, do you have anything that comes to mind where you're like, oh, I don't want to talk about that. But I do think about that. Mm.
Ramy Youssef
I mean, I. I've always had this radar of. Of. I'm sure you feel the same way. The thing that makes me nervous.
Mike Birbiglia
Yeah.
Ramy Youssef
I'm gonna jump into it.
Mike Birbiglia
Yeah.
Ramy Youssef
You know, that's. That's always the thing that. That's kind of, you know, going at me. And so, yeah, as I kind of get into this next one, I think there is something, you know, sincerely kind of scaring me and eating at me of. Of just. I don't know how to. I guess the clearest way I can put it is. So I talk around spirituality. I talk about things, obviously, like, you know, I'm doing the bit, you know, but I do kind of. I feel like I'm kind of getting to this place in my life where I am thinking about death in a way that I never thought about. And I am thinking about and, again, praying that we have. We're on this block together for the next 50 years.
Mike Birbiglia
Yeah.
Ramy Youssef
And I feel like I don't say this. I say this with the hope and even the inkling and the desire that we have, like, long lives. But even having a long life, you go, it's short. Just genuinely short. And I think that's what's interesting about career milestones. Or, like, you have a kid, and, you know, we're trying to have a kid this year. And so I got married, and I was like, oh, wow. This is one of those things. You go, well, one day when I grow up, I'm gonna get married. And one day when I grow up, I'm gonna do a comedy special, you know? And then you go, okay, I'm married. I've done three comedy specials. I want to have a kid. And you start to go, oh, these are, like, all the, like, things you do. And it is slowly kind of coming this way. And so I've just been thinking about challenging my perception of reality and how much time I actually have, you know? And those things are really interesting to me and scary because, you know, you kind of go, I'm so obsessed with this idea that we're forming, and we're constantly making ourselves better. And I never want a stamp on who I am.
Mike Birbiglia
Right.
Ramy Youssef
But I am kind of going, this kind of is who I am. Like, I need to look at some
Mike Birbiglia
of these things, right.
Ramy Youssef
And say, am I happy with where this is at? You know, because I'm not a kid anymore, you know? And those things are really exciting to me.
Mike Birbiglia
Yeah. And, like, how Am I spending my days? What am I doing? What am I doing?
Ramy Youssef
What am I doing?
Mike Birbiglia
Yeah.
Ramy Youssef
What am I actually doing?
Mike Birbiglia
It's intense.
Ramy Youssef
I'm also really disturbed by my bubble. You know, I'm disturbed by my lack of proximity to real tension. Yeah, I have proximity. I think maybe in some ways, people in this country don't have family. All over the Middle East, I have people who I have conversations with on the phone, and you can hear bombs in the background. So it's not a joke on a level, but another level. I am like, I am always kind of haunted by how at the same time, I'm walking my dog in Brooklyn and I'm like, yeah, I guess coffee's nine bucks, right?
Mike Birbiglia
Yeah, no, no, of course. No. And also, like, it's also that thing. It's also that thing where you go, like, if you travel America to places that are more economically depressed. It does. Some of the politics does track.
Ramy Youssef
You don't have to go far. Yeah, it's such a good point.
Mike Birbiglia
Some of where people are voting.
Ramy Youssef
Yeah.
Mike Birbiglia
It makes sense. It does track. Yeah.
Ramy Youssef
No, dude, I mean, I was. I was talking to my buddy Mustafa. He was like, he was talking to people about what's happening overseas. And, you know, some guys in the hood and they go, dude, I'm. We have our own war over here.
Mike Birbiglia
Yeah.
Ramy Youssef
And it's probably 20 to 30 minutes from wherever you live, if not closer, and you go, wow. Yeah. People, you know, so that's, you know.
Mike Birbiglia
Yeah, I, I. There's a joke of yours that a new joke that I wrote echoes at, which is one of my favorite jokes of yours, which is the LeBron joke.
Ramy Youssef
Oh, yeah. Because people are like, you know, you iru. That might have been. When I was just getting to know you, and I did it at New jokes.
Mike Birbiglia
Yeah.
Ramy Youssef
And you came up to me and you said, that's in the special. And I had just tried it, and I was shooting the special in two weeks, and I said, yeah.
Mike Birbiglia
I was like, of course. One of the building blocks. And I just thought of it, basically. If people don't know it, the gist of it is, how do the people let their kids hang out with Michael Jackson? And you basically go like, it wasn't. It was peak Michael Jackson. Yeah.
Ramy Youssef
I was like, this is this. You know, I said, I grew up with white Michael. This was black Michael at the top.
Mike Birbiglia
80s Michael Jackson, 80s.
Ramy Youssef
You let him do what he wants. You know, like, if LeBron James asked me for a sleepover with my kids because it would help him beat the Warriors. Yeah.
Mike Birbiglia
I wrote this joke recently where I go, people. It drives me nuts. This is like actually a fascination. It drives me nuts from people. My friends judge people from the past and somehow decide that they would be the enlightened person in that situation. Oh, my God. And I'm like, you're not the enlightened person now. What makes you. What makes you think you'd be the Harriet Tubman when you're not the Harriet Tubman of now? No. You're not the Frederick Douglass of our improv group. You're the Tim Douglas of our improv group. Oh, my God, I love that bit. That's so. But it's of a similar DNA.
Ramy Youssef
That's so funny.
Mike Birbiglia
Drives me nuts.
Ramy Youssef
It's crazy. It's like you have no risk taking ability or depth perception right now. What are those people thinking?
Mike Birbiglia
Like, what are you thinking now?
Ramy Youssef
That's so funny.
Mike Birbiglia
Yes, I want to do that.
Ramy Youssef
You gotta do that.
Mike Birbiglia
I want to try.
Ramy Youssef
So funny.
Mike Birbiglia
And I mean, that's great.
Ramy Youssef
Frederick Douglass, Tim Douglas. That's so funny.
Mike Birbiglia
And then also, I feel like sometimes you hear these. I was. I have this obsession right now, which is like we all have a bank of thoughts in our head at all times, swirling around that we do not share with people. And we. And we sometimes we think about saying. And they're like, oh, no, I couldn't. Actually, I shouldn't mention that. And one of those is the phrase bros before hoes.
Ramy Youssef
Yeah.
Mike Birbiglia
Which is clearly a cry for help from a bunch of guys who are like, I just want to hug Steve.
Ramy Youssef
Yeah.
Mike Birbiglia
But. Yeah, that would. But I need to dress it up in so much misogyny that you can't imagine I'm experiencing emotion. Bros before hoes.
Ramy Youssef
Like, why'd you have to bring the hose into this? And then I go to the bros.
Mike Birbiglia
Exactly. Just keep it at bros. Tonight will be bros. It's like, no, no. I'm going to take it a step further than that.
Ramy Youssef
Oh, you got to drag the hose in. Got to drag them down.
Mike Birbiglia
And then I go, every guy, I say this to the audience. Every guy. You know, the most upstanding man, you know, the Obama of your life. Obama himself for sure has in earnest said the phrase bros before hoes. I go. It's a major concept in the world. The nation of Saudi Arabia is based on bros before hoes.
Ramy Youssef
That's a great bit.
Mike Birbiglia
So I'm gonna do that at Saudi Arabia next year. The festival. No, I'm just kidding. Oh, and then the other one I had is. Oh, you Know what I did from this. From last time you were on the. On the podcast, you tagged my joke with. In every. So the joke was, in every relationship, you need one person who understands heating and electricity and plumbing, and we don't have that. So we're currently seeking a third. We're recruiting at local technical colleges. And then your joke is. Because we realized we need a husband. Yeah, I've been doing that. Oh, that's great. It was actually one of the success stories of this podcast. It's like someone with a bonafide tag in the moment, and it works. And it's in the hour right now.
Ramy Youssef
Do you do that with the pod? Like, you know how in Shark Tank, they go back to investments that they made that went well? Do you ever do a highlight reel of tags that worked?
Mike Birbiglia
No. We absolutely should.
Ramy Youssef
And you see them in specials.
Mike Birbiglia
And, like, what's funny is. Is, like, I don't know if you. If you have this, but, like, the thing I've been trying to convey for all these years with the podcast is that, like, a lot of times, like, working on jokes or anything in the creative process is just pushing around sand.
Ramy Youssef
Yeah. Yeah.
Mike Birbiglia
Just being like, what about this?
Ramy Youssef
Yeah, yeah.
Mike Birbiglia
And there's people kicking stuff around.
Ramy Youssef
Yeah.
Mike Birbiglia
So anyway, that was a success. Oh, my God. We need a husband. Oh. And then. And then the rest of the joke is, though, I have this fear, and this is sort of what gets into the heart of, like, how I feel Fe. How do I feel about it? It's like, my fear is that if we find a husband, we may realize we don't need that first husband.
Ramy Youssef
Yeah.
Mike Birbiglia
Because if this guy's so good with a wrench, he might not be so bad at sex either. Oh, my God. His shoulder might not quiver when he's on top. Or whatever general thing might happen to an elderly man making love.
Ramy Youssef
I mean, it is wild. Oh, yeah, you've been to that Ace Hardware. You've been to the Home Depot.
Mike Birbiglia
Yeah.
Ramy Youssef
This is a different civilization. Yeah. They look at us like we're not the same gender. Yeah. And they're. They're on top.
Mike Birbiglia
That's what happened with when we had rats in the ceiling. Oh.
Ramy Youssef
Guy shows up. You know, I got this.
Mike Birbiglia
I had this joke where I go, like, I go. I got this. I go. I'm lying in bed with my wife, and we hear in the ceiling, like. And I go. And my wife is. She's very good at identifying the problem.
Ramy Youssef
So good. Yeah.
Mike Birbiglia
Yeah. Which is step one.
Ramy Youssef
Huge.
Mike Birbiglia
You need someone to cop. She looks over she goes, I think there's a rat in the ceiling. No, I'm. I'm. I'm here also. I'm aware there's a rat in the ceiling. And she's like, you gotta do something. And so I call the rat guy. He comes over, and she's like, I think the rat is here. And then. And then I was like, yeah, I think it was over here. And then she walks across the room. She goes, and it might have been over here, but that also might have been in a dream. And I was like, I think maybe we gotta keep the dream talk on the inside. That's wife thoughts. That's wife and husband.
Ramy Youssef
Don't share the dreams with this guy.
Mike Birbiglia
Right.
Ramy Youssef
Because the more you share the dreams, the higher the price gets.
Mike Birbiglia
If this guy thinks.
Ramy Youssef
This guy thinks we're dreams people, he's gonna think he can rip the fuck off.
Mike Birbiglia
That's great. That's great. The more we talk about dreams, the higher that price is gonna go.
Ramy Youssef
We just tell him, we're logical people, we live on earth.
Mike Birbiglia
My God, that's so funny.
Ramy Youssef
If you tell them, you're fucking horoscope, we're cooked.
Mike Birbiglia
The.
Ramy Youssef
I had a rat guy once in L. A. There was a house I was renting.
Mike Birbiglia
Yeah.
Ramy Youssef
And you know. Yeah, I get it, man. You're just at the mercy of this guy. And he had jokes too. You could tell because this is his profession.
Mike Birbiglia
Yeah.
Ramy Youssef
He goes, your place. Talk about the rats. Carlton.
Mike Birbiglia
The last thing we do is working out for a cause, and it's. Is there nonprofit you like to contribute to? We will contribute to them and link to them in the show notes.
Ramy Youssef
Oh, yeah.
Mike Birbiglia
Cool. I know you do a ton of nonprofit work.
Ramy Youssef
Yeah, I've been doing a lot. There's this. There's this org I really like called War Child.
Mike Birbiglia
Okay.
Ramy Youssef
Yeah. And they help children in, you know, in the middle of all these wars.
Mike Birbiglia
Awesome.
Ramy Youssef
They figure out how to build for them and help them out.
Mike Birbiglia
We will contribute to War Child. We will link to them in the show notes.
Ramy Youssef
Amazing.
Mike Birbiglia
Rami Yousef, Amazing special.
Ramy Youssef
Oh, man.
Mike Birbiglia
Thank you for. Thank you for coming to my funeral. And I'd hope you'd say just a few words.
Ramy Youssef
I'll see you there in 50 years.
Mike Birbiglia
All right. Thank you. Working it out. Cause it's not done. We're working it out. Cause there's no one that's gonna do it. For another episode of working it out, you can follow Ramy Youssef on Instagram. Rami, his special in love is on hbo Max now. He'll be at Netflix's a joke festival like me, but his show is on May 5th with Alana Glaser, who's also been on the podcast. Go see Rami and Alana and come see me the next day, May 6th. Check out birdbigs.com to sign up for the mailing list. You can watch the full video of this on YouTube. Our producers are working outer Myself, along with Peter Salomone, Joseph Birbiglia, Mabel Lewis and Gary Simons. Sound mixed by Ben Cruz. Supervising engineer, Kate Balinsky. Special thanks to Jack Antonov and Bleachers for their music. They got a new album coming out. They've released, I believe, three songs. They're all fantastic. I really like that song, the Van. They're at Madison Square Garden in June. I'll be there. Special thanks to my wife, the poet J. Hope Stein, and our daughter Una, who built the original radio for Made of Pillows. Thanks most of all to you who are listening. If you enjoy the show, please rate us and review us on Apple Podcasts. We're slowly getting close to 5,000 user reviews, which is really my podcast dream. We appreciate it. We've released over 200 episodes, all free. Thank you, everyone who is listening. Tell your friends, tell your enemies, tell your dog. For God's sakes, after you do the thing where you pay thousands of dollars to hear your dog talk, you gotta go. Hey, Rufus, what do you think of that podcast I play all the time? Mike Birbigla is working out. It's where Mike Birbiglia talks about the creative process with other comedians and filmmakers. Do you like it? Do you like it? Yeah, you do? Yeah, you do. What's that?
Ramy Youssef
You love it.
Mike Birbiglia
We should sign up for working at Premium. Oh, my God, you're so right. You're such a good dog. Thanks, everybody. We're working it out. We'll see you next time.
Episode 210: Ramy Youssef Returns: He Lit Up The Pyramids
Date: April 27, 2026
Guest: Ramy Youssef
Host: Mike Birbiglia
In this lively and candid episode, comedian Mike Birbiglia is joined by his close friend and fellow comic Ramy Youssef for Ramy’s third visit to the show. They dive into the creative process behind Ramy’s new HBO Max special, "Ramy Youssef: In Love," and explore the intricacies of writing, performing, and evolving as a comedian. The conversation moves seamlessly through topics like the highs and absurdities of weddings, meaningful crowd work, collaborating with industry icons, and the ongoing struggle to create new material after releasing a special. True to the podcast's title, the two also work out new joke ideas and reflect on the challenges of authenticity, legacy, marriage, and personal growth—all with humor and warmth.
On crowd work:
"There were kind of like, four or five ranges of answers for all these questions." —Ramy Youssef (07:17)
On creative evolution:
"I have all these notes for what I want to do for next time." —Ramy Youssef (09:36)
On marriage and honesty:
"You’re kind of committing with someone to everything that can be seen and not seen. And I think that’s what’s exciting." —Ramy Youssef (32:10)
On empathy and privilege:
"I am always kind of haunted by how at the same time, I'm walking my dog in Brooklyn and I'm like, yeah, I guess coffee's nine bucks, right?" —Ramy Youssef (52:59)
On creative obsessions:
"I think he was like, the best artists are scaling the same mountain, and each piece gets them higher to the top." —Ramy Youssef (49:42)
The episode balances comedic banter and playful ribbing with sincere reflection, delivered in an easy and honest style. Birbiglia’s curiosity and empathy match Ramy’s introspective, thoughtful humor. The dialogue covers big ideas—legacy, authenticity, privilege—without losing its wit or welcoming energy.
Episode value: A warm, funny, and honest look at what it means to evolve—both on stage and off—delivered with genuine chemistry, practical wisdom, and plenty of laughs.