BEST OF WIO: Rachel Feinstein

Summary

Summary of "BEST OF WIO: Rachel Feinstein" Episode from Mike Birbiglia's Working It Out

In the "BEST OF WIO: Rachel Feinstein" episode of Mike Birbiglia's Working It Out, host Mike Birbiglia revisits a standout conversation with acclaimed comedian Rachel Feinstein. Originally aired on January 6, 2025, this re-broadcast highlights the dynamic interplay between Mike and Rachel as they delve into personal anecdotes, comedic material development, and the nuances of Rachel's life as a firefighter's spouse.

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1. Re-airing and Tour Updates

Mike opens the episode by expressing his enthusiasm for re-airing Rachel’s episode, praising her comedic talent and sharing updates about her current tour schedule. Rachel is touring across several cities, including Point Pleasant, New Jersey; Panama City Beach, Florida; and Eugene, Oregon. Mike highlights their upcoming Good Life shows at the Beacon Theater in March, emphasizing the popularity of Rachel's performances.

2. Friendship and Mutual Support

The conversation underscores the deep friendship between Mike and Rachel. Rachel appreciates Mike's calming presence during her moments of anxiety:

Rachel Feinstein [02:37]: "You're always like... a voice of reason."

Mike humorously reflects on how Rachel's support helps him manage his own neuroses, creating a reciprocal dynamic where both comedians benefit from each other's company.

3. Husband’s Traditions and Gift Giving

A significant portion of their discussion centers around Rachel's husband, a firefighter, and his unconventional gift-giving habits. Rachel shares her frustration with the impersonal nature of his gifts, such as receiving a $50 Amazon gift card for Mother's Day and Costco pajamas for their wedding anniversary:

Rachel Feinstein [00:19]: "Nothing says you're a blank slate like an Amazon gift card."

She humorously criticizes his tendency to provide practical yet uninspired presents, highlighting the challenges of marrying someone with a structured and communal lifestyle like that of a firefighter.

4. Experiences at the Comedy Cellar

Rachel reminisces about her frequent performances at the Comedy Cellar, where she and Mike often share the stage. She describes the Cellar as a haven where comedians can freely express themselves, venting about their personal struggles and crafting new material in a supportive environment:

Rachel Feinstein [06:59]: "I just love being there, too... feel better."

5. Rachel’s Netflix Special "Big Guy"

Rachel discusses her Netflix special, "Big Guy," which has achieved significant success, ranking number five on Netflix's top television shows:

Mike Birbiglia [15:20]: "Your special is blown up. It's number five on Netflix of all television."

She elaborates on how the special incorporates personal stories, including anecdotes about her husband, weaving them into her comedic narrative to resonate with audiences.

6. Stories about Rachel’s Husband as a Firefighter

Rachel shares insightful stories about the unique challenges and dynamics of being married to a firefighter. She highlights how her husband's job fosters a tight-knit community and affects their personal lives:

Rachel Feinstein [05:51]: "They don't like to come up with better ideas together. They probably vent about their why."

She explains the emotional isolation that can accompany such a demanding profession and how it influences her comedy, allowing her to explore themes of resilience and companionship.

7. Anecdote: Getting Pulled Over by Cops

One of the episode's highlights is Rachel’s humorous yet chaotic story about being pulled over by the police alongside comedian Keith Robinson. The incident becomes a comedic goldmine as Rachel recounts their interactions with the officers and the absurdity of attempting to bail Keith out:

Rachel Feinstein [14:51]: "We're gonna get you out of here."

This anecdote exemplifies Rachel's ability to transform real-life frustrations into relatable and humorous material.

8. Emotional Challenges and Handling Criticism

Rachel opens up about the emotional toll of facing public criticism and negative comments on social media. She candidly discusses how such feedback can exacerbate her insecurities but emphasizes the importance of maintaining resilience:

Rachel Feinstein [21:46]: "I've read so many terrible things recently and... brand new insecurities."

Mike and Rachel explore strategies for balancing constructive feedback with dismissing harmful negativity, highlighting the mental health challenges comedians often face.

9. Developing New Comedy Bits

The duo engages in a creative brainstorming session, discussing new material Rachel is developing. She shares ideas about normalizing spa days and the awkwardness of setting personal boundaries in relationships:

Rachel Feinstein [43:45]: "You're just telling me you're rich. That's all that just happened."

This segment showcases their collaborative effort to refine and expand Rachel's comedic repertoire, blending personal experiences with sharp observational humor.

10. Supporting Firefighter-Related Non-Profits

In the concluding "Working it Out for a Cause" segment, Rachel advocates for supporting firefighter-related non-profits. She highlights "Friends of Firefighters," an organization offering free therapy and acupuncture services to FDNY families, and the "Billy Moon Foundation," which supports organ donation and assists families of fallen firefighters:

Rachel Feinstein [52:06]: "They offer free services to entire FDNY families."

Mike and Rachel emphasize the importance of these organizations in providing essential support and promoting mental health within the firefighting community.

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Notable Quotes

• Rachel Feinstein [00:19]: "Nothing says you're a blank slate like an Amazon gift card."
• Rachel Feinstein [02:37]: "You're always like... a voice of reason."
• Rachel Feinstein [05:51]: "They don't like to come up with better ideas together. They probably vent about their why."
• Mike Birbiglia [15:20]: "Your special is blown up. It's number five on Netflix of all television."
• Rachel Feinstein [21:46]: "I've read so many terrible things recently and... brand new insecurities."
• Rachel Feinstein [52:06]: "They offer free services to entire FDNY families."

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Conclusion

The "BEST OF WIO: Rachel Feinstein" episode offers a compelling blend of humor, personal storytelling, and insightful discussions about the intricacies of life as a firefighter's spouse. Through shared laughter and candid conversations, Mike Birbiglia and Rachel Feinstein provide listeners with an engaging exploration of resilience, friendship, and the art of crafting comedy from life's challenges. This episode not only showcases Rachel's exceptional talent but also underscores the supportive bond between two comedians navigating the complexities of their personal and professional lives.

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For those interested in Rachel Feinstein’s work, her Netflix special "Big Guy" is highly recommended, offering a deeper dive into the comedic themes discussed in this episode.

Transcript

[Mike Birbiglia]

For a gift for your wedding, your husband got you like, Costco pajamas or something?

[Rachel Feinstein]

Yeah, a Costco pajamas.

[Mike Birbiglia]

What did he get? What did he get you for Mother's Day?

[Rachel Feinstein]

A $50Amazon gift card.

[Mike Birbiglia]

I mean, this is just outrageous.

[Rachel Feinstein]

I mean, it's outrageous. Nothing says you're a blank slate in my mind like an Amazon gift card. Like, that's what you give a super.

[Mike Birbiglia]

You're a blank slate.

[Rachel Feinstein]

There was definitely a moment where he was like 75. And then he was like, nah, not for her. Not far. 50 feels right.

[Mike Birbiglia]

That is the voice of the great Rachel Feinstein. Happy New Year, y'all. We're re airing this episode with Rachel from last year because it was one of my absolute favorite episodes of the year. It was her second appearance on Working It Out. She's a riot. She's on tour right now. You can see her January 17th or 18th at Uncle Vinny's in Point Pleasant, New Jersey. January 24th and 25th in Panama City Beach, Florida. And January 31st and February 1st in Eugene, Oregon. Oh, I love Eugene, Oregon. Thanks to everyone who's come out to my shows in the last year. It has been an amazing time. Next up, I'm gonna be in Iowa City. We just added a third and final show, January 11th. Then I'll be in Pickering, Ontario. I'll be in Baltimore, the Baltimore Center Stage, Northampton, Massachusetts, and Burlington, Vermont. Stay tuned for some Los Angeles announcements. All of this is building up towards the Good Life shows at the Beacon theater in March. Four shows. Tickets are going fast. Check it out for biggs.com. i think you're going to love this conversation with Rachel. We talk about jokes that ended up in her Netflix special, Big Guy, which is streaming now. You'll love the special and you'll love this chat. Enjoy my conversation with the great Rachel Feinstein. I'm reluctant to say how much I laughed at the special because then people hear the other episodes of the show and be like, well, he didn't say he laughed that hard. The other special, so maybe that's a tell. But I feel like I'm able to say this because I've seen you perform at the Comedy Cellar so many times. Like, we've been back to back.

[Rachel Feinstein]

Yeah, you've been a great friend to me through the years.

[Mike Birbiglia]

Oh, no, I don't even. I don't mean it to.

[Rachel Feinstein]

That's not what you're saying. No, I'm saying that you're always like. I feel like I'm always, like, seeing you and, like, venting about some Weird neuroses. And you're very calming. And you always. You're always like, it's okay. Nobody's thinking about that. Like, you're right. You've always just been a voice of reason.

[Mike Birbiglia]

I think maybe it's possible that that's your trauma is just helping me be like, I'm. Oh, I'm okay.

[Rachel Feinstein]

I guess I really need that energy all the time. I'm like, I need your voice in my head.

[Mike Birbiglia]

Totally.

[Rachel Feinstein]

Yeah. I mean, I talk about it special. My husband's the opposite. It'll be like, solid. Or, like, you know, he's always like, solid. He said solid. That's what he said at my Netflix special. He's like, solid. How do you.

[Mike Birbiglia]

Oh, my God. Solid. How do you feel?

[Rachel Feinstein]

And he.

[Mike Birbiglia]

How do you feel?

[Rachel Feinstein]

By the way, Comedians hate you never ask us how we felt.

[Mike Birbiglia]

Don't ask. We don't ask us how we felt.

[Rachel Feinstein]

Don't do it.

[Mike Birbiglia]

Don't do it. This is a public service announcement to any. If you were a friend or to any performer, do not ask the performer how they felt about it afterwards.

[Rachel Feinstein]

Yes. It makes us feel like we. That it was up in the air. We don't know if we did a good job or not. And how do we feel about what happened? Like, it was a weird incident that we're still digesting.

[Mike Birbiglia]

Like, it was a weird incident.

[Rachel Feinstein]

Yeah. How do you feel again? That's what people say after. Like, I don't know, like you have an operation or something. It's not good.

[Mike Birbiglia]

So how does your husband pronounce the word? C A S H. Kish. Kish.

[Rachel Feinstein]

Kish.

[Mike Birbiglia]

You say this special. I'm like, the way you were saying it sounds like it was like a spinach quiche.

[Rachel Feinstein]

Somebody told me you have to say it twice because people don't know what you mean. So I've started to say it twice now because people are like, what the hell is that? Yeah. They say kish. And here's the weird thing. His brother has no accent whatsoever. So I'm like, why do you talk like this? Like my. And they pronounce like, foia. Foida. F I, Y, A F I, D.

[Mike Birbiglia]

A for F I, R, E for firefighter. F I, G, H, T E, R. Firefighter.

[Rachel Feinstein]

Firefighter, yes. New York fireman. Foia. Foia.

[Mike Birbiglia]

Fighter.

[Rachel Feinstein]

It sounds like a little kid trying to say what his daddy does. Like, my daddy's a foil fighter.

[Mike Birbiglia]

Oh, my God.

[Rachel Feinstein]

And I asked his brother. I'm like, why does he speak like this? It's like a cartoon of a New York accent and his brother's like, the firehouse. Like, that's, that's. This is. Explains everything question you have about your husband. Any female that's listening to this. Imagine if your fucking husband went and lived in a house with 12 of guy friends for half your marriage. And he doesn't. He keeps going back there.

[Mike Birbiglia]

It's the fire fraternity.

[Rachel Feinstein]

Yeah, yeah. It's not good.

[Mike Birbiglia]

And he's like 40 something years old. He's not like a young man in a fraternity.

[Rachel Feinstein]

They don't like, come up with better ideas together. I talk about this special, but it's true. It's like they don't. They're not like cooking up better. No. And then they, they go there and probably. Probably vent about their why. God knows what they say. And a lot of times, a lot of times I didn't realize this, but, like, I do jokes on stage or tell stories on stage. And here's what's happened. So now since I've started talking about being married to a firefighter, half of my crowd is firefighter families or first responder families. And they come up to me, fire spouses, wives, whatever, and they're like, oh, you know why he does that? That's the firehouse. So they've explained a lot of things to me that I go, oh, I didn't know that was the firehouse. So they're like, oh, yeah, and only gets worse, you know, like, like he won't sit still. They all have second jobs. My friend's like, yeah, they all do because they're traumatized and they don't wanna go home. They don't wanna go home to you.

[Mike Birbiglia]

Yeah, that was an interesting thing you say in the special is they don't wanna go. They have second jobs. Not because they need the job financially, but they don't want to go home to their wives. And you say this, you say this like without. It's not even really a joke. It's just a true thing.

[Rachel Feinstein]

Because I laugh so much. Cause I kind of relate because it's like comedians, we. And we joke around with each other. Like, I do also get it because we sit at a table at the cellar and we just like talk immense amounts of shit. And we're just general morons with each other and it's so fun. And then we have to go home at a certain point.

[Mike Birbiglia]

Yeah.

[Rachel Feinstein]

So it's like, I get why you just want to go home, because that's always been me. Like at a certain point in the cellar, I'm like, go back Home and be normal. Yeah.

[Mike Birbiglia]

Yeah. The Cellar is a certain type of firehouse.

[Rachel Feinstein]

Yeah. Because you do.

[Mike Birbiglia]

You do have to work. You do have to get on stage, but then for the most part, you're waiting around.

[Rachel Feinstein]

Yeah.

[Mike Birbiglia]

For the next time you get on stage.

[Rachel Feinstein]

We're the real heroes.

[Mike Birbiglia]

Obviously, we're the real heroes. My favorite. The comedy seller is my. Other than home is my favorite place to be. I just love being there.

[Rachel Feinstein]

I just love being there, too. Like. Like last night, it's like whatever cocktail of weird, unhealthy, dark feelings are brewing in my head during the day, I just, like, go there, I sit down, talk some shit, and then feel better. I do. I feel better.

[Mike Birbiglia]

And I think, like, there's always. People Will. Comedians are always willing to trash anything. So if you walk in and you trash show business, if you trash your parents, if you trash your best friend, someone will. Yes. And what you're saying.

[Rachel Feinstein]

And it's so fun because it's the only place we're allowed to be. This level of heightened asshole.

[Mike Birbiglia]

Yes.

[Rachel Feinstein]

Like, I walked into the Cellar last night, and Keith Robinson was like. He's like, I'm not gonna watch Rachel special. I'm turning off my electricity so I don't have to watch. I was, like, crying, laughing. We're all trashing each other. I'm like, keith, you're the only person I know that got fat for their special. Who puts on weight for their special, you know? And he was like. He's like, yeah, Rachel's outfit stinks. And he was just trashing me the whole night, making fun of my horrible outfits and how I can't dress. And they were all doing different impressions of my outfits, and it was making me laugh so hard. Like, they said I dress like I shop at, like, suburban outfitters. And I was like, this is so funny.

[Mike Birbiglia]

Suburban Outfitters is so good.

[Rachel Feinstein]

It's so good.

[Mike Birbiglia]

Yeah. Yeah.

[Rachel Feinstein]

And it makes me laugh so much. Like. And so it's like, the only place where we could do this and we're not gonna. I mean, everywhere else I go, I have to remember, you know, how I have to, like, talk and act. But it makes me laugh a lot, especially when they trash me. It's really funny. Keith was like, the thing about Rachel is that people don't understand is that she's dumb. She's very dumb. At a core level, she's not a smart person. And I was laughing so hard, I was crying because he is kind of right. Like, I get credit for being intelligent, I think, because I'm like, Sarcastic and Jewish, but I have, like, no information. And so it was making me cry. But it's like the only place we can, you know, do that with each other and it's okay. And, And I. And it also makes you not believe your own nonsense, like, you know, completely.

[Mike Birbiglia]

No, no, it's. It's. It's constant poking of holes in your entire identity, which is somehow healthy. Somehow.

[Rachel Feinstein]

I love it.

[Mike Birbiglia]

Yeah. It's nothing like the rest of life. Everything in life is so polite. And then when. Yeah, somehow, whether it's the firehouse or the Comedy Cellar or whatever. Whatever that firehouse is to you. Cause I don't know. I don't know if everybody has that. I mean, maybe some people have that with firefighters.

[Rachel Feinstein]

Yeah, people have that little circle while they feel their most themselves. Yeah. Tell us in the comments, what's your fire?

[Mike Birbiglia]

Tell us in the comments, what's your firehouse? Yeah. Yeah.

[Rachel Feinstein]

Even the fact that I'm talking about firefighters, they trash me for. And like, Keith brought me on stage saying, this next comedian works for the fire.

[Mike Birbiglia]

Wait, I don't even know if you're allowed to tell this story because I think it's on Keith's forthcoming special, the Kevin Hart Story. Does he tell it?

[Rachel Feinstein]

We could talk about it.

[Mike Birbiglia]

Does he tell it?

[Rachel Feinstein]

Yeah, we could talk about it a little bit. It's fine.

[Mike Birbiglia]

Okay, here's how I remember it. Keith telling it. You, Kevin Hart and Keith were driving home from a gig, like, years ago, and you got pulled over by the cops.

[Rachel Feinstein]

Yes. We were like driving down this dark country road and Keith was teasing me about how my dad's a civil rights lawyer. He's like, we don't need his help. Tell him we don't need him. And he goes, we don't need him. Lean on me. He kept calling him, which is the oldest movie reference, like a 50 year old movie. And he's like, tell him we're good without him. And then he goes, you know what I'm going to do? I'm going to attack Rachel and let her dad defend me. He goes, I'm going to call him up and I'm going to say, Mr. Fatside, this is the case that's going to make you a star.

[Mike Birbiglia]

Oh, my God.

[Rachel Feinstein]

He said he was going to throw me out of the car that have his dad and my dad defend my God. But anyway, so Keith was making me cry, laughing. Then on the way home, he was doing this thing where he was screaming out the window. He was like, shh, quiet, quiet. Like, I'll just Tell people to shush. It's. It'll be in the middle of, like, McDougal and Bleecker, like a busy corner of the street. And keep the big. If you don't mind, just. Just keep it down. Just lower the volume. And he gets screamed at. Like, this lady was like, why would you tell me to be quiet? I'm outside, there's a tree near me. And he's like, I just need you to just lower it just a little, if you don't mind. Yeah. So he was basically. I think he was screaming out the window. Something to the extent of, like, keep it down for just people that were passing him on the street. Just like, keep it down. Just on some people passing on the sidewalk. So the cops follow us, right? They let me out in my house, and then apparently, whatever happened afterwards, they got arrested.

[Mike Birbiglia]

This is years ago.

[Rachel Feinstein]

Many, many, many years. I mean, Kevin Hart was opening for Keith Robinson, right? This was 19, 100 years ago. Yes. So I'm 70, so just put that in perspective. So I'm today. But no, so this was many, many years ago. So they dropped me off and I went inside.

[Mike Birbiglia]

This is after a gig, I think.

[Rachel Feinstein]

After a gig. Yes. And where I bombed violently. And Keith had the time of his life watching me bomb. He was in the back, like, that's right. That's how you bomb.

[Mike Birbiglia]

Oh, my God.

[Rachel Feinstein]

I mean, just. They hated me. And Keith thought it was so funny how horrifically I bombed. It was the kind of bomb where you're a little shook up afterwards. Like, I needed some help kind of processing it.

[Mike Birbiglia]

Yeah, yeah.

[Rachel Feinstein]

And we were driving back, and I remember I'm a regular. I remember I was reading Catcher in the Rye in the car, and, you know, and I was young enough to be reading that book. And he looks back and he goes, eh, you know what? You bug me. The way you're reading that dumb book and enjoying it, it just irritates me. I'm like, what's wrong with this, man? I was like, sandy from Greece. I didn't know how ruthless comedians were. I'm like, why would he say that? But I'm enjoying a piece of literature.

[Mike Birbiglia]

Oh, my God.

[Rachel Feinstein]

And then he takes it out of my hand, hurls the book out the window. Then Kevin says, I really want a sandwich. He's like, I'm hungry. And Keith's like, yeah, what kind of sandwich do you want? So Kevin starts discussing what he wants to eat. He's like, you know, it'd be nice. And, you know, and they're thinking, it Together he goes, you know what? I'm gonna get that for you right now, Kevin. I knew something evil was coming at this point. Cause I'd begun to understand his character. So we stop and Kevin gets a big sub. He's dressing it. He's putting all his things on it. He's making it just right. Keith's driving. He's like, you want to eat that, don't you? You're really just excited. You know that feeling when you're about to eat something you really want to eat? And Kevin' just like, yeah. Keith takes it out of his hand and hurls the whole dumb thing out the window.

[Mike Birbiglia]

Oh, my God.

[Rachel Feinstein]

And they were both laughing so hard. And I was like, what the fuck? But, you know, now I'm. I'm like them. I've become as rotten inside. But yeah, he just took it out. He took that sandwich, right? The birds had a nice fat sub that day.

[Mike Birbiglia]

Wait, so then did you get pulled over from that?

[Rachel Feinstein]

No. Oh, sorry. I just jumping around. No, sorry, that was earlier in the day. Okay, I need to speak in order. I don't know exactly what happened, but they got pulled over after I left and they got arrested. And Keith said he was, you know, he had some words with the officer. So they get arrested. So I developed a plan to rescue them from the. So.

[Mike Birbiglia]

To rescue them from jail.

[Rachel Feinstein]

He was like, we don't need you. You know, So I was like pulling my resources. I was like, free Keith.

[Mike Birbiglia]

You know what I mean?

[Rachel Feinstein]

And then, so I think I like, tried to save some money up to bail them out. I was still a nanny full time. Like, I didn't have money, you know, I was like roommates with Sharad. We lived in, like, you know, an old law tenement. You know, I lived. I was like, on the top bunk. You had to walk through my room to get to the bathroom. The bathroom had no door. Like, we had no money. So I was like scraping together like a funds to, you know, get him. Get him free. And then I was like, I got a sandwich. And Buddy Bolton, who was my. Our next door neighbor, if you remember Buddy, of course he decided that it would be. We should put a note in the sandwich.

[Mike Birbiglia]

Wait, you should bring a sandwich to the jail and put a note in. And what does the note say?

[Rachel Feinstein]

We're gonna get you out of here.

[Mike Birbiglia]

It's like an episode of Three's Company. This is outrageous.

[Rachel Feinstein]

So I was so proud of it. Me and Buddy were like, so exc. Excited. And then Keith, to this day makes so much fun. Of me putting a note in his sandwich.

[Mike Birbiglia]

You actually did it.

[Rachel Feinstein]

We did it. We put the note in his sandwich and said, we're going to get you out of here. At least stay strong or something.

[Mike Birbiglia]

Your special is blown up. It's number five on Netflix of all television.

[Rachel Feinstein]

Crazy.

[Mike Birbiglia]

It's crazy.

[Rachel Feinstein]

It's crazy.

[Mike Birbiglia]

You must feel great.

[Rachel Feinstein]

I'm excited. This morning, at this very moment, I'm, like, able to be happy about it.

[Mike Birbiglia]

You make fun of Italian stereotypes by using the names Gina and Vince, My dad and my sister. My dad is Vince. My sister is Gina. You're like, vince, get over it. Gina wants to talk to you. It's like, oh, Literally, my family members.

[Rachel Feinstein]

I apologize, Michael. Yeah. But a lot of the firefighters in the area I live in, in Queens, it's like all cops and firefighter families, you know, so, like, they're. You know, they're all like the kind of guys that are like, you know, my. My daughters, they're the loves of my life. Isabella, Gianna and Isabella. I call them the three loves of my life. So they all kind of, like, talk like that. It's a whole nother world from what I'm used to, you know, like, there is, like, not a Jew for miles. Yeah. It's just a weird. Like, I'm inside of this whole world now because now he's a battalion chief, so it's like, you know, we have to go. When he gets promoted, we get a cake we bring to the boss's office. We sit in his office.

[Mike Birbiglia]

Oh, my God.

[Rachel Feinstein]

You know, and we tell him thank you. He's.

[Mike Birbiglia]

And you're part of this.

[Rachel Feinstein]

I'm part of this because I am now the chief's wife. So there's a whole. There's a lot involved with that. It's not. It doesn't. It's not supposed to involve saying twat on television, but it does.

[Mike Birbiglia]

What's funny? You talk about how your daughter is like, my dad's a hero and my. My mom is sarcastic. It's such a great line.

[Rachel Feinstein]

I still told her to say that. I'm like, how did she come up with sarcastic? He would admit it, but because I.

[Mike Birbiglia]

Was like, you know, you're telling it like it's true. And I'm like, is that true? Like, how is it possible?

[Rachel Feinstein]

It's true, But I believe he fed it to her, but he's not admitting it. Yeah, they asked my daughter to school. What her mommy. Daddy did. She said, my daddy's a hero and my mommy's sarcastic, and Pete's like, yeah, I wonder where she got that. I'm like, I wonder where she got that. Yeah, but I mean, she definitely, like, takes his job seriously and looks at me like, but what do you really do? Like, yeah, for.

[Mike Birbiglia]

For a gift for your wedding, your husband got you like Costco pajamas or something?

[Rachel Feinstein]

Yeah, a Costco pajamas.

[Mike Birbiglia]

What did he get, what did he get you for Mother's Day?

[Rachel Feinstein]

A $50Amazon gift card.

[Mike Birbiglia]

I mean, this is just outrageous.

[Rachel Feinstein]

I mean, it's outrageous. Nothing says you're a blank slate in my mind like an Amazon gift card. Like, that's what you give a super. You're a blank slate that there's, you know, there's a moment I talk about this I haven't talked about on stage yet, but I'm going to. But I Like, there's no. There was definitely a moment where he was like 75 and then he was like, nah, not for her. Not for her. 50 feels right.

[Mike Birbiglia]

Is he doing the bit at this point? Like, 50 gift card from Amazon feels like almost a bit.

[Rachel Feinstein]

It's horrific. No, he's just.

[Mike Birbiglia]

Does he ever surprise you with something that's like, special?

[Rachel Feinstein]

When Pete gets me a nice gift, I know that there was a team of people that had to work on it with him and like, re. Steer him in the right direction. His gifts are disastrous. Like, they're brutal, they're hurtful.

[Mike Birbiglia]

This thing made me laugh so hard. Do you remember Taryn Peter Meyer? You're doing an impression of your mom.

[Rachel Feinstein]

Yes, my mom.

[Mike Birbiglia]

It's exactly my mom.

[Rachel Feinstein]

Really?

[Mike Birbiglia]

Yeah. I mean, I guess that's the, that's the sleight of hand of stand up comedy is like you watch someone talk about their. Yeah, do their mom. And you're like, oh, that's my mom. You do the. This thing of your mom basically saying you remember this person and you kind of don't remember the person. And she says a crazy thing about the person.

[Rachel Feinstein]

Yeah. She loves to tell me dark health updates of people I don't remember. Just like really weird, upsetting news.

[Mike Birbiglia]

Yeah. Any recently she told me this is.

[Rachel Feinstein]

When she just repeats a lot that of somebody she once knew who went up in a hot air balloon. They knew someone that went in a hot air balloon and then it just crashed and they died. And I'm like, mom, that's not a fun loving tale. Why do you keep repeating the hot air balloon story? Yeah. And she gets really into it and. Did I. Do you remember? She always says it like she doesn't want to say it. I'm like, yeah, I remember because you told me that when I was like, eight, and you told me many times. And it's not a fun tale, mom, but she loves to tell me just, like, very dark stuff or just updates. But then she always puts a spin on it at the end. Well, I just thought you might want to know and would be concerned, but I guess I'm the bad guy. So there's always like a last minute turn where she's somehow the victim of her own weird morose updates she gives me.

[Mike Birbiglia]

My mom has it where she'll say something that is so extreme from her life that, like, I'm just like, how did I not hear this sooner? Like, she'll be like, I used to work at a children's hospital, you know, when I was in my 20s and I became best friends with this girl who was 11, and then she was diagnosed with blank. And then I invited her to my wedding, and then. But then she died, and then I'm like, oh, okay. All right. Well, that's like a huge thing to.

[Rachel Feinstein]

Happen because I think they don't deal with anything because they're of that generation.

[Mike Birbiglia]

Oh, is that what it is?

[Rachel Feinstein]

I think. And then it just comes out in these weird. And I think I have no real hard information, but Jessica Kirsten told me it's like trauma bonding. Like, they bond with you through telling you about another trauma. But I've noticed that my mom doesn't really connect so much to the trauma if it's happening to anybody super close to her.

[Mike Birbiglia]

Okay.

[Rachel Feinstein]

But she likes to. And even if you tell her about something that's happening to you, she needs to relate it to, like, a neighbor's colon cancer or something, like somebody that this person doesn't even know.

[Mike Birbiglia]

Maybe the trauma bonding thing is part of what we're talking about firefighters do with each other. And maybe it's part of what we do at the Comedy Teller.

[Rachel Feinstein]

Yes. Yeah, I think you're right. And also thinking about, I guess, like, when I. When I love when people trash comedians, trash me, or say mock my outfits or whatever, it makes me laugh. I'm probably also getting ahead of what I'm gonna hear somewhere else. So people yell things at me on stage. I read YouTube comments and don't take them in a fun, loving way. No, I get, like, hurt, like, haunted by them.

[Mike Birbiglia]

Yeah. Don't do that.

[Rachel Feinstein]

So, yeah, I have to not do that anymore. I really can't do it.

[Mike Birbiglia]

Stop.

[Rachel Feinstein]

Yeah, I have to stop. No, I've been. I've read stuff this week that it's just giving me brand new insecurities.

[Mike Birbiglia]

Oh, God.

[Rachel Feinstein]

So you can't. You can't read it. I've read so many terrible things recently and. Yeah, brand new things.

[Mike Birbiglia]

What's the thing that gets to you? What's the. What's the thing that people say that. That actually crosses the line?

[Rachel Feinstein]

I don't know. I mean, there's a lot about, you know, how I look, and somebody said, your arms are fatter than last week. That means someone's tracking my arm fat. It's so horrible.

[Mike Birbiglia]

Better than last week.

[Rachel Feinstein]

That means they're checking in with each other. I also feel like friendships are made. Like people bond over hating me. Because I've seen some people, like, somebody write one comment, they'd be like, oh, you're telling me this poor guy, you know?

[Mike Birbiglia]

Oh, God.

[Rachel Feinstein]

Or I think it definitely. What probably actually really hurts me the most is when people misunderstand my material or just feel like I'm just throwing Pete under the bus and that Pete's not in on the joke and he doesn't get a kick out of it too. Or that I'm like, look, I'm laughing at the whole lifestyle and what I experience. And it. There's a cocktail of things you experience when you're married to, you know, a firefighter. And a lot of it's hard. And I mock it and mock all the nonsense around it. So people are thinking that I'm somehow disrespecting him or his job. It's like, that's painful. Cause I feel like, look, firefighters are coming out because they need it. They like it that I talk about them. Some of them don't. I'm sure it's not like, you know, I'm sure there's plenty of people that like or don't like my material, but what I found across the board is that they can take a joke like a joke. And that's one thing I'm really grateful for and probably need that more than anybody. So I'm grateful for that.

[Mike Birbiglia]

I think anybody who works in any life threatening job has to develop some kind of gallows humor. Yeah, right. Like, it's a coping mechanism.

[Rachel Feinstein]

I would think. So.

[Mike Birbiglia]

I have, like, really dark joke on stage I'm touring with right now. And I literally say to the audience, like, most of the jokes are for you. That one's for me. And the audience kind of gets it. You know what I mean?

[Rachel Feinstein]

That's what I find. Like, I used to rush a lot. I still do, but I feel like sometimes if I'm A little slower. And just say that one weird, vulnerable thing that doesn't necessarily have a huge laugh with it, that sometimes those are the jokes and the moments people remember more than anything else.

[Mike Birbiglia]

I think so.

[Rachel Feinstein]

Yeah. So, like, there's, like, a bit I have. It's, like, not even a bit. I just talk about how when I go home to visit my family, I'm okay for, like, six minutes, and then I feel, like, weirdly furious afterwards. It's not a bit yet. It's just kind of a feeling that's great. But people. It's, like, mention that more because I'm like, oh, I feel like that when I go home, too. Maybe it makes them feel less bad about going home. I don't know. Or feeling that way when they go home.

[Mike Birbiglia]

That makes perfect sense. Yeah, I. Yeah, I know exactly what you mean.

[Rachel Feinstein]

And then I say after that how I feel a terrible guilt about feeling this throbbing hostility. But maybe that makes people feel like, oh, okay, that's. That's all normal or something. So I think it's good to be vulnerable in those ways.

[Mike Birbiglia]

Is there anything from you this special that people that you feel, like, rubbed some people the wrong way?

[Rachel Feinstein]

There's a joke I say about people. We could be in the middle of an argument, and people will stop and be like, you know, thank you for your service. That's whatever. And I'll be like, he's being kind of a dick right now. And I feel like firefighters laugh like crazy at that because everybody knows that's what they have to stop and listen to. You know what I'm saying? So, like, I feel like. I get. I feel like most firefighters laugh at that because they know. They hear that every day, and they're. You know, their wives or husbands do, too. But I remember seeing. What I'm trying to say is that it's just a moment in time, and you don't know what's happening in that time. I'm not saying they shouldn't be thanked for their service or that it's not remarkable, but, yeah, there's gonna be somebody that would say that that's wrong, but it's a moment in our day where that might happen. And there is a certain isolation and emotional isolation to be with somebody that goes into very traumatic situations a lot. There is a certain loneliness being married to somebody that does that. So there's a different quality there, you know? So to you, whatever you need from them that you might not get or whatever it is. I'm not saying everybody experiences that, but for myself, I found that, yeah, there's. They have to check out in a certain way that's very necessary for their job at moments and it doesn't always transition back to the home easily. So I feel like, I don't know, maybe somebody will see that that's where I'm coming from a little bit. Or maybe they won't. I don't know.

[Mike Birbiglia]

If you married an accountant who drove a Toyota Camry, would you still have a new one hour special?

[Rachel Feinstein]

No. No way. It absolutely is because I married a firefighter. I owe them everything. Yes. Why do they got yes? Yes. Not at all. No. He gave me a good solid hour.

[Mike Birbiglia]

The thing that I screamed, laughing, I think at the most, and I laughed in throughout. The entirety of your special is what your mother in law says to you. Did she. Can you say what she said? And then.

[Rachel Feinstein]

Yes. That's the thing I'm terrified about because I haven't talked to her today and she doesn't know about that special and I'm so scared.

[Mike Birbiglia]

Okay, that makes sense because it's so. I mean, she's not gonna, she's not gonna listen to this podcast. So I think you're okay, but can you say what she said?

[Rachel Feinstein]

Don't clip it. Yeah, but you could.

[Mike Birbiglia]

Okay, we won't clip it. We won't clip it.

[Rachel Feinstein]

Okay. She tells me these things. It's like these compliments that slowly turn into insults. So it always starts out good with her. So she'd be like, my son is happy with you. He's a happy man. You know why? Because he needs to laugh. With his job, laughter is important. He always had the most gorgeous girlfriends, but he was bored by them. Beautiful, though. Just smoke shoes. But with you, he has a chuckle. He needs that.

[Mike Birbiglia]

With you he has.

[Rachel Feinstein]

He needs to laugh.

[Mike Birbiglia]

With you, he has a chuckle. I mean, this is. You cannot write comedy better than that. With you, he has a chuckle.

[Rachel Feinstein]

He needs to laugh, sweetheart. It's important. He's happy. He doesn't need a smoking hot, just gorgeous. I mean, really, just like an ass. That's just neighborhood approved. He needs to laugh. That's what he needs. He needs a gangrenous clown to set him straight.

[Mike Birbiglia]

And so she's never seen that joke.

[Rachel Feinstein]

No. And she is going to see it. And I'm really nervous and I haven't heard from her since the special because she said she was gonna watch it. And I tried to tell her on Monday because it was my daughter's birthday and we had them all over and I just tried to find the Right moment to tell her that I'd do one joke about her and I, I didn't. I just bailed.

[Mike Birbiglia]

I'm so glad you did that joke.

[Rachel Feinstein]

Thank you.

[Mike Birbiglia]

It's so funny. I was just dying.

[Rachel Feinstein]

My mother in law, just like, she's just obsessed with my husband. And I had the opposite. My mother, I was the third favorite. I asked my mom and she said it. I was like, you know, you love Justin the most and then Aaron and then me. And she was like, like she couldn't lie. She liked her neck up, trying. She's like.

[Mike Birbiglia]

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[Rachel Feinstein]

Thing about you in general?

[Mike Birbiglia]

Yeah.

[Rachel Feinstein]

I get in trouble a lot because I'm a mess. I'm like a liability.

[Mike Birbiglia]

Well, you're a half hour late for this conversation.

[Rachel Feinstein]

Yes, I was, but that was.

[Mike Birbiglia]

But that's not a big deal. But I'm just giving context.

[Rachel Feinstein]

No, but it really was bad. That was like later than I've ever wanted to be. I'm usually more in time for comedy, but this morning was especially rough. And it's not okay, and I'm sorry, but I'm a mess. And I. I fuck things up and I. I drop things and I lose things and I lose other people's things.

[Mike Birbiglia]

Oh, interesting.

[Rachel Feinstein]

Yeah.

[Mike Birbiglia]

What's the worst thing you've ever lost?

[Rachel Feinstein]

Oh, my God. Laptops, passports, whole bags I've left at the airport. Wow. A Rolex.

[Mike Birbiglia]

A Rolex. My God, that's gotta be like a. Somebody gave me a five or $10,000 item. Right.

[Rachel Feinstein]

And I lost it. Yeah. It's not good.

[Mike Birbiglia]

You. Someone gave you a Rolex watch and.

[Rachel Feinstein]

You lost it in a move. Yeah.

[Mike Birbiglia]

Oof.

[Rachel Feinstein]

It was not good. No. I lose things, and I'm like a wild mess. And I try really hard, and I'm trying.

[Mike Birbiglia]

Have you talked about this on stage?

[Rachel Feinstein]

I haven't talked about it a little bit because my husband is the opposite. Like, if you look at his nightstand, it's like a military.

[Mike Birbiglia]

Yeah.

[Rachel Feinstein]

Ship is run.

[Mike Birbiglia]

Yeah.

[Rachel Feinstein]

And what he wants in life is for my not to up his. And that's. That is what he wants. Like, so he comes home, he's like, what's this over here? Why is this, like, just, you know, like so. And, you know, that was one of the things the other one of the other fire. Fire wives, badge bangers told me. She was like, hey, the reason he does that, the morning drill. She's like, my husband does the same thing is because they do morning drills at the firehouse. So I guess Pete goes around and he's like, what's this over here? Why is this over here? It looks like you brought it over there. What were you going to do? I always have to tell him why I was going to do something. What I was thinking. I'm like, I'm not thinking. That's the thing. That's the problem. My hands are taking trips throughout the day. I don't know where they went.

[Mike Birbiglia]

You know, I was just telling you this before we started. What's the worst accommodations you've ever been given on a gig?

[Rachel Feinstein]

Oh, my God. I mean, I've stayed in some. I mean, like, holes in the sheets. Like, $37 hotels, you know?

[Mike Birbiglia]

Oh, $37 hotels.

[Rachel Feinstein]

When I was featuring, I would just get whatever I could afford with my nanny money, you know, Like, I've seen just actively dangerous. Like, just.

[Mike Birbiglia]

I've had some actively dangerous ones. I showed up in Indianapolis once. I had to. I was forced to stay for whatever reason. I lost my wallet or something. I stayed at A Dollar in, and it was at the airport.

[Rachel Feinstein]

Wait, what is it called? A dollar. I never even heard of it.

[Mike Birbiglia]

Oh, it's called the dollar in. And I'm not even kidding. I don't know why I haven't heard of that. It was the dollar, and it was like one of those ones. You ever do one where you go and you're sure that they have a shotgun behind that, behind the glass, you're like, oh, okay. Well, this. This feels very dangerous.

[Rachel Feinstein]

Yeah.

[Mike Birbiglia]

What's a dollar?

[Rachel Feinstein]

It is Amazing, though. How bad was it? What was it like?

[Mike Birbiglia]

I don't think I slept a lot. I think I slept.

[Rachel Feinstein]

That was one where you slept on top of the cup cover. I've done that a lot where I slept on top of the COVID Well.

[Mike Birbiglia]

The main thing is when you're in a bed, when you're given a really bad hotel room, you take the. You take the coverlet off immediately.

[Rachel Feinstein]

Yeah.

[Mike Birbiglia]

What's the worst hotel you've been? I've ever had to stay?

[Rachel Feinstein]

No, I was thinking the worst hotel that I've ever stayed at was actually not with standup. It was when I had started to date this guy that I met a show. The only guy I've ever met at a show and dated, if you could call it that. He was a nurse. He lived with his grandmother.

[Mike Birbiglia]

Where was this?

[Rachel Feinstein]

This was in Queens, in Brooklyn. And we were gonna. I told him we could cuddle, but we couldn't have sex or something. And he was like, okay. And then he. He met my. Dumb terms. I used to do a joke about after.

[Mike Birbiglia]

Like a. Wait, this is after, like a. Like a date.

[Rachel Feinstein]

Like, yeah, we went out like, twice. And I was like, we can cuddle, but we can't have sex. Like, I used to have all these. Like, I never had. Like, I could never do, like, casual. I'd be too nervous. So I would set all these weird, you know, like, pre. Parameters. I used to do a joke about how if I was your sexual attorney, I'd recommend you don't take this deal. Like, it's not a good deal.

[Mike Birbiglia]

That's a great joke.

[Rachel Feinstein]

Yeah, you're gonna be flaccid and kind of angry. It's not positive.

[Mike Birbiglia]

It's a great joke. You gotta put that on special.

[Rachel Feinstein]

I should.

[Mike Birbiglia]

I mean, that's a riot. That's a great joke.

[Rachel Feinstein]

My friends would make fun of me if I'd like. Why do you have these weird, like, Mormon sleepovers with all these strange rules and stuff? It was terrible.

[Mike Birbiglia]

Oh, it's smart.

[Rachel Feinstein]

I mean, the reason I did it was because I was like, oh, I don't want. I want to make sure that he, like, loves me before I have sex with it. But what happens is that I was exhausting these guys so much. They were like, fine. Like, where do I sign? Like, yeah, I don't know that I ended up the right relationships. I think a guy was just vaguely horny and he had, like, a semi, and he was like, yes, I love you. Let's do this. I'd prefer to be inside you. Right now. Fine. We're in a relationship. So. So I basically.

[Mike Birbiglia]

Fine. I love you.

[Rachel Feinstein]

I just wore them down. My dumb fucking Mormon sleepovers and weird attorney like, rules. So I think I gave this guy. And most guys would sort of of just try or like, keep. Try to renegotiate throughout the evening.

[Mike Birbiglia]

Sure.

[Rachel Feinstein]

And in respectful way, you know, like to be like, hey, can we rediscuss these terms? And I, you know, we go over certain things. Like, no tits are complimentary. Like, I just let him know. And so this guy comes over and my friend, my roommate, her grandma had just passed away, and she was so annoyed that I had this guy come over and she knew about my Christian sleepovers. And she's like, why are you doing this here? Like, I'm mourning my grandma. Just get out of here. With this weird nurse that lives with his grandmother that you're dating. She's like, but you're. He's too young. Like, she just thought the whole situation was very strange. He was usually date, like, older. He was like six years younger than me. And he lived with his grandma. And she thought it was all kind of strange. And she's like, can you not have your Mormon sleepover here tonight? I just want to be thinking about my grandma and I want you to bring this guy over.

[Mike Birbiglia]

Okay?

[Rachel Feinstein]

So I was like, okay, we gotta get a hotel and to cuddle in this poor guy in Brooklyn. In Brooklyn. But we couldn't afford many hotels and.

[Mike Birbiglia]

Also not the real hotel capital world.

[Rachel Feinstein]

Exactly. So we ended up in a prostitute hotel which had a bulletproof glass. And like, I didn't realize. I don't know what that was. I didn't know what a hooker hotel was. We go in and then, like, we pay. We go upstairs. I think we to pay first. Like, in cash.

[Mike Birbiglia]

In cash, sure.

[Rachel Feinstein]

We go upstairs to cuddle. The only person that's ever cuddled at this hotel.

[Mike Birbiglia]

Oh, my gosh.

[Rachel Feinstein]

We turn on the tv, just blasting porn on every station. I was like, oh, my God. I didn't know they do this at hotels. Every station was like, oh, yeah. And so I was like, great. This is like, now this guy, can you imagine? Like.

[Mike Birbiglia]

He'S cuddling to these sounds. He's cuddling to the porn sounds.

[Rachel Feinstein]

Yeah. And he's just like, holding. These were the dumbest nights I've ever had in my life. Just like, neither of us could sleep. I was like, what am I doing? What is this? And just like. And we just kept changing the channel and just be just another woman. Just like. Yeah. And I'm like, okay, maybe there's no non porn channels. So we just turned it off and just laid near each other. And it was probably one of the loneliest nights of my life. I could say definitely his, I would imagine. But, oh, dear, it was not good. And then we just left, and he just dropped me off, and he was just like, well. And I was like, welp. Well, that was that.

[Mike Birbiglia]

Yeah, that's a tough one. Okay, what is the time you were so scared you ran away?

[Rachel Feinstein]

So scared. I ran away. Like, I guess one time. Oh, I remember one time on the train. I was on the train and this guy sort was, like, kind of trying to touch me, but he was so drunk, he didn't know where he was. Like, he was in that stage of drunk where he was like. He just, like, thought we were probably talking, but we weren't. Like, he didn't know what country he was in.

[Mike Birbiglia]

Yeah, yeah.

[Rachel Feinstein]

And he just kind of leaned over and he was like. Like some drunk could sort of swipe at me. And so I get up to get off at that stop, and everybody was watching this, and I go to him, you need to stop it. Like, you're being disgusting right now. Then I get up and I get off, but he got off first, so it looked like I was, like, following him, and I wanted it. So it looked like there was this weird, like, naughty game we played every night where I'm like, you need to stop it. And he was like. Like, everybody watched me, like. And so it looks like I'm following this guy. Right? So then I started to be like. And he was like. Like, he was just drunkenly swaying. So I was like. I kind of crunched the numbers on the idea that he was gonna act. Actually try to assault me. And I was like, he probably isn't because he's so drunk.

[Mike Birbiglia]

You were crunching the numbers. Everything is this attorney Persona.

[Rachel Feinstein]

Because I was like, I'm not trying to make excuses for him.

[Mike Birbiglia]

I was.

[Rachel Feinstein]

He was obviously a worthless, worthless man. But he was like. He tried to, like, kind of swipe my tittage area, but he was like. Didn't know where he was. So it's like, I don't think he's gonna get it together to really go after me.

[Mike Birbiglia]

Right, right, right.

[Rachel Feinstein]

But just in case, let me ask this other guy that it got off the train, too, if he wouldn't mind walking me to my corner because some guy was just trying to, you know. Yeah, I don't know what you called that. Trying to smear me, like, grope yeah, it was like a smearing smear.

[Mike Birbiglia]

A smear. I think, I think the listeners will understand what a smear is.

[Rachel Feinstein]

Physical smear, physical smear, physical tit smear. This guy was trying to give my tit swipe me. Yeah, can swipe. I don't know. So I, I, I tell the, I.

[Mike Birbiglia]

Think that's the technical term.

[Rachel Feinstein]

Yeah, can swipe. I was like, I've been can swiped or an attempted can swipe. So I stopped this other guy that's leaving who had like a little messenger bag and he looked pretty together. And I was like, oh. And I don't think he's wants anything to do with me right now. So I was like, hey, do you mind walking me to my corner? Cuz I was just had an attempt at tittish swiping me by this man, that drunken smear over there. And the man was a smear, the smear was a smear. Anyway, I saw the guy, the whole story and he kind of watched looks at me and looks at the guy and he just like thought we were involved in something together that he didn't want to be in the middle of. He was like, no, thank you.

[Mike Birbiglia]

You actually had a cry for help and it was rejected.

[Rachel Feinstein]

Yeah, he was like, no, thank you. And he was like, like he saw that little thing that he thought it was like a play we did back and forth.

[Mike Birbiglia]

Oh God.

[Rachel Feinstein]

Because then he saw me follow him out and he's like, I'm not getting in the middle of their sex game right now. And then I just ran.

[Mike Birbiglia]

I've been doing a bit lately every now and then at the Cellar where I'm like, the governor wants to, you know, the subway is in rough shape, but so it's like the governor wants to bring in the National Guard. And I'm like, I don't think that's the right person, but like we should call somebody. Like something, something's going on.

[Rachel Feinstein]

It's not good, I'll tell you that.

[Mike Birbiglia]

Right.

[Rachel Feinstein]

What's the end game here? What's going on in the trains? I don't know. Out. It's not good.

[Mike Birbiglia]

It's not good for transport.

[Rachel Feinstein]

No, currently it's not good for anything.

[Mike Birbiglia]

I don't want to, I don't want to bring my daughter on. And I love the subway.

[Rachel Feinstein]

Yes.

[Mike Birbiglia]

My, my grandfather worked in the subway tunnels.

[Rachel Feinstein]

No, I've been taking, I've been taking Ubers lately.

[Mike Birbiglia]

Yeah, it's wild.

[Rachel Feinstein]

No, people are getting punched. I'm like, I don't want to get clocked. I'M on my way to Kelly Clarkson. Yeah.

[Mike Birbiglia]

Yeah.

[Rachel Feinstein]

I'm like, yeah, no thanks. I'd rather not have a right hook on the way to do my fun loving morning show right now.

[Mike Birbiglia]

What nicknames have you been given in your life that were particularly bad or good?

[Rachel Feinstein]

Let's see here. Pete also calls me Chief. He's always like, you're the real chief, which is so stupid. There's big guy Chief. He called me large cat for a while.

[Mike Birbiglia]

What does Keith call you?

[Rachel Feinstein]

Keith? What does Keith call me? I can't remember what Keith calls me.

[Mike Birbiglia]

Did Patrice used to make fun of you you when he was alive?

[Rachel Feinstein]

Yeah.

[Mike Birbiglia]

What would he say?

[Rachel Feinstein]

I was my way to the middle.

[Mike Birbiglia]

Oh, my God.

[Rachel Feinstein]

Which is funny because I wasn't even dating comics. I was in, like, union workers.

[Mike Birbiglia]

You're fucking. Your way to the middle is too much. Patrice used to make fun of me so much. He called me Mike Bigheadlia. That was a big thing he called me. And. But I. I have to say, like, as mean as he was. And he was truly, truly mean.

[Rachel Feinstein]

Yeah.

[Mike Birbiglia]

Yeah, he. He was funny.

[Rachel Feinstein]

He's brilliantly funny. Yeah.

[Mike Birbiglia]

It's like one of those things you shrug. I don't know.

[Rachel Feinstein]

Yeah. He would just look at me like, you could just see I was a mess.

[Mike Birbiglia]

Unbelievable thing, that. Do you remember this? That when Patrice was alive, he would sit out on the sidewalk and he would basically do crowd work.

[Rachel Feinstein]

On the sidewalk?

[Mike Birbiglia]

On the sidewalk. I mean, he would just talk to the people who were walking past, which.

[Rachel Feinstein]

Is, like, kind of what Keith does, too, because they were, like, best friends. Like, Keith's great. They probably did it together. Like, he'd be like, shh, quiet.

[Mike Birbiglia]

Do you have any new bits you're working on?

[Rachel Feinstein]

I was thinking about, like, this girlfriend of mine that I went to high school with. Like, posted something like, normalize spa days. I don't think the problems are there. I think they're pretty normal. Yeah. You're just telling me you're rich. Those kinds of posts infuriate me.

[Mike Birbiglia]

Sounds like you're rich.

[Rachel Feinstein]

Yeah. You're just telling us you're rich. That's all that just happened. I'm not sure anybody was judging me for getting a blowout. Yeah. Just, like, normalized. It's also whenever people write that, like, normalize or like this, and then they tell you something, it's like, it's always. It involves some kind of directive. Like, all of a sudden, I feel like I have to run an errand because you said something. It's like a command. I'm Like, I don't even have a bra. And give me a minute, you know, normalized spot. I have to do this just quick directive, and I have to know that you get spa days every week. That's why I want a spa day. I'd like to normalize them. Can you have some cash?

[Mike Birbiglia]

You have some kiss? That's a great bit. Have you done that yet?

[Rachel Feinstein]

Thank you. You actually just helped me work it out more. Like, now that I talked it out more, I thought about it more. Yeah, yeah.

[Mike Birbiglia]

Have you done it yet?

[Rachel Feinstein]

No, I have not done it on stage yet.

[Mike Birbiglia]

Okay.

[Rachel Feinstein]

Yeah. Or also, this is another one. My daughter pick her up from school now. And so when she listens at school, she gets a listening sticker. And so every day when I pick her up, I'm like, oh, did you get your listening sticker? And this one day I picked her up. And she goes, sadly, no.

[Mike Birbiglia]

Sadly, no.

[Rachel Feinstein]

So she's very condescending, and she kind of braces me with the information. This is not a bit yet. But she also. She just speaks like me. So you see all the things you say, right? So I always give people an out because I'm always bracing myself for rejection. So I'll be like, hey, do you want to come over? Or no? You know, I always say or no. So I'll be like, oh, would you like to come hang out tonight, have a glass of wine? Or no. So now she says that to everybody. So she was. I just saw her around, like, her class, and she was like, do you want to come to my birthday party? Or no? Like, I'm like, oh, I'm giving. Like, it's like, the worst way to be. Like, she's giving people an out. I do this. I give everybody an out. Out. Yeah. People that work with me are always like, don't give people an out. Just ask them, you know, like, oh, I love that. Yeah, don't be like. But don't worry about it. You don't have to, you know, like. And that's how I speak.

[Mike Birbiglia]

I would break that wide open. Because, like, then you can go into an example of, like, when you did that. Can you think of a time where you gave someone out and it actually backfired yesterday?

[Rachel Feinstein]

Like, I'll be like, I text comedians to ask them to post about my special. I'm like, if you want to post about this, it's fine, but don't worry. If not, I hate asking comedians. I hate myself. I'm sorry. Like, it's always like, 10 apologies, right? Just be like, do you mind posting this or whatever? But I can't do it. I can't. I always have to be like. Or no, I'm the worst. It's all the worst.

[Mike Birbiglia]

I'm all about out.

[Rachel Feinstein]

Yeah, yeah. But I don't know, it's the best thing to teach her because she's always kind of like, even at her birthday she's like, she'll be like mommy, do you want to come sit with me for breakfast? Or no. Like. Or she'll be like, do you want to come over set the table? Or no. Like she's always just like sort of releasing people like they don't want to be there. Like she presumes you don't want to. And I see that I've passed this on to her so I have to fix it. But it's also funny because you just see all your own nonsense. Like, like when my daughter tries to get in bed with me now, she tries to like schmooze me. She gets in bed with us every night and it's hilarious. We just see her like walking down the hallway and she cries until she gets to our door. Cuz she knows we're going to let her in the bed at this point. So she's like. And then by the time she's in the door, she's like confident, she's fucking like gunning people, she's high fiving. She's like a rapper walking into a party. You know, she knows, knows she's got to get that bed. And then she'll stop and be like, oh that's cute. And I'm like, what's cute, Frankie? It's three in the morning. My black scrunchie you think is like really impressive. Just get in the bed. We know where you're getting like. So she kind of works me. She's like, where'd you get that? She says, where did you get that? About like some gross night shirt I'm wearing, you know, like it was a store she was going to shop at later. I'm like, I get everything you own. Stop working me. So she definitely works me now. And I want to talk about that more on.

[Mike Birbiglia]

This is great.

[Rachel Feinstein]

Like I always thought when I had a girl I was like, I'm going to try to infuse them with this confidence. It's, it's like Frankie talks to me like she's worried about me. Like she's like, can you get me a bottle, Mom?

[Mike Birbiglia]

Yeah.

[Rachel Feinstein]

She's always like not sure I can. She's like. Or she'll Be like, you can do it. She's like, you can get me that Barbie camper. You can get it. Like, as if I lack the confidence to purchase something for her on Amazon. Anyway, that's great. Thank you.

[Mike Birbiglia]

Both of those are great.

[Rachel Feinstein]

Okay, good. I need a whole new hour now.

[Mike Birbiglia]

So we need a new hour. And. And fortunately, your personality kind of is a walking hour of comedy. Everything about you is hilarious. Like, I've. I'm. I'm actually similar to when I watched your special. I'm having to suspend myself from laughing too hard because it's going to override the actual jokes that you're saying.

[Rachel Feinstein]

Also, I took my ADD medicine right before I came here, so I'm going to be talking kind of.

[Mike Birbiglia]

There you go. Maybe you could help me with this. I've been doing, like, a whole run about religion, and I wrote a Judaism thing this week, but I don't really know much about Judaism, so I'm just like, it's hard for me to get on board for Judaism because I don't really think the Old Testament happened. Like, it's so long ago. Like, my mom tells me stories from last week, and I'm like, I'm not sure that happened. You know what I mean? When I think about growing up Catholic, I disregard the Old Testament. Like, even as a kid, I was like. I was like, the New Testament is God's way of saying sorry about all that. None of that's true. It's all about actually forgiveness and all that kind of stuff. It's like, when God got clean, he's like, I don't drink anymore. I don't kill people.

[Rachel Feinstein]

I was God sober. I think the word sober, that's hilarious. That's.

[Mike Birbiglia]

So God got sober. He's like, I was going through some stuff. I said some things about Sodom and Gomorrah that I regret. You know what I mean? Like, and then I go like that.

[Rachel Feinstein]

You should get into more examples. That's so funny. The idea of what he did before he was sober being the first testament of the Bible is very funny.

[Mike Birbiglia]

Like, it is wild. The Old Testament is wild. And it's like. Because I. Even as a kid, because I was full Catholic as a kid, and I remember, you know, every now and then, they would read us passages from the Old Testament. I'd be like, what the hell is going on? You know what I mean? Like, and.

[Rachel Feinstein]

But then, like, no, it was like a rave.

[Mike Birbiglia]

It was like a rave.

[Rachel Feinstein]

That's funny. That. Like. Like the idea of the guy doing things when he Was drunk. And now that he's sober, like, I wanted. I, Like, I feel like I don't know much about the first Old Testament.

[Mike Birbiglia]

Were you raised Jewish?

[Rachel Feinstein]

I was raised Jewish, but my mom converted, so we were bat mitzvahed, but they were, like, you know, reformed Jews.

[Mike Birbiglia]

So we.

[Rachel Feinstein]

We heard stories and things, like, general stories, but they were very much about, like, there's a common thread between us. So I didn't learn, like, a lot of.

[Mike Birbiglia]

Of. Right.

[Rachel Feinstein]

Even my Unitarians or something, we were Jewish. But, like, even my. My Torah portion was, like, written phonetically on top of the Torah. Like, I put, like, cheat notes on top of it. They were like. Yeah, they're very casual about it, so. Yeah. But I think that I don't know a lot about, like, the crazy things that happened in the Old Testament, but I feel like that's very funny.

[Mike Birbiglia]

Yeah, I, Like, I was like. I was trying to riff on that. I was like. I was like, on day one, I. I made light. Could have been day two, a lot of stuff happened. You know what I mean? It blurs together. I thought that would be the. The relatable. Not the relatable, but the recognizable part of the Old Testament was like, just Genesis.

[Rachel Feinstein]

Yes.

[Mike Birbiglia]

Because then it's like, you know, we all kind of know, like, the seven days and then I rested and all that.

[Rachel Feinstein]

Yeah. But I do think you should mix in more things because that's, like, really fun. That's a really funny aspect of the joke. Like, I've never heard anybody speak about that that way.

[Mike Birbiglia]

Yeah. And then the other thing I wrote down is like, I'm working on this bit about I went to strip clubs in my 20s, and I don't really go anymore. Not because my wife wouldn't let me, but when I would come home from the strip club, she wouldn't really want to hear the stories.

[Rachel Feinstein]

That's amazing.

[Mike Birbiglia]

And life is really about the stories.

[Rachel Feinstein]

Wait, really? Go Is amazing, too, because that leaves some room. Wiggle room there for you. I don't really put a strip club.

[Mike Birbiglia]

Oh, right, right, right. I don't really. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. No, I. I don't know, like, twice in the last 15 years or something like that. Yeah, but, like. But, yeah, no, I. In my 20s. It's just like, I was thinking about the other day. I was like, like, people in their 20s who go to strip clubs, I'm like, I get it. People in their 70s. I get it. 30 through 60. I'm like, what's happening?

[Rachel Feinstein]

Yeah. Something more of a red flag. I get it?

[Mike Birbiglia]

20S, you're lost. 70s, you're almost 70s, it's.

[Rachel Feinstein]

It's insane but delightful. You're like, I love this guy. I want to know the guy that's sitting in a strip club when he's 70. But yeah, 40, 30s, 50s, there's a darkness because you kind of know it. You get it. Like, 70s, you've lost it again. So you don't know what's going on anymore. Like you, you know what I mean? You don't have any information anymore. You lost it all.

[Mike Birbiglia]

That's right.

[Rachel Feinstein]

30S, 40s, you. You kind of have an idea of the fact that they don't want to be there and they don't believe in you as a man. But when you're 70, you don't know if you just yourself. So why the not should you, you know, get motorboated or whatever? Anyway, as a mother, I just want to say.

[Mike Birbiglia]

The final thing that we do is called working out for a cause. What is a non profit that you like to support. And we will contribute and link to them in the show notes.

[Rachel Feinstein]

Friends of firefighters. I do a lot of stuff with them. They offer free services to entire FDNY families. Free therapy, free acupuncture. They're right here in Brooklyn. They're on Van Brunt Street. And a lot of firefighters don't know that they have all of this. And some firefighters don't always wanna get therapy on the job. They can, it's available, but they don't want it.

[Mike Birbiglia]

Normalize. Normalize acupuncture for firefighters.

[Rachel Feinstein]

Yeah, that's right. That's a fucking command.

[Mike Birbiglia]

That's how I feel about it. Normalize therapy for firefighters. It's such a cry for help for you. You're like, it's for therapy for firefighters. You know, like, maybe my husband might wanna go to therapy and maybe, please.

[Rachel Feinstein]

But they offer all kinds of amazing free services. And they're in a firehouse. So it's super cool because the firefighters work with friends of firefighters to kind of make it normal and comfortable and normalized. Yeah. So it's amazing.

[Mike Birbiglia]

We're gonna link to them in the show notes. We're gonna contribute to them. Rachel Feinstein. I mean, legend.

[Rachel Feinstein]

Can I say one more thing?

[Mike Birbiglia]

Sorry.

[Rachel Feinstein]

Also, the Billy Moon Foundation. Billy was a firefighter that died on the job, and his wife, Christina Moon, has two young daughters. I just did an event for Billy on Sunday. So the Billy Moon foundation is. Is basically. Billy donated all his organs after he passed away. And it actually, one of them, I believe, saved another person on duty's life. So it's a really cool. And they kind of help people to do that to donate organs and do things that Billy was able to do posthumously. I always said pronounce that word wrong. Anyway, Billy Moon Foundation. Christina Moon is lovely. Hi Christina.

[Mike Birbiglia]

I'm sorry, it's posthumously.

[Rachel Feinstein]

Posthumously. I knew I said it wrong. See, I told you. I run dumb. That's the thing. I don't know, like words and stuff just cut me off.

[Mike Birbiglia]

Rachel, you're done. We're cutting off your microphone. We're taking away your meds. We're taking away your medic, your, your, your ADD medication.

[Rachel Feinstein]

My husband's a hero, but My husband's a hero, but I'm the chief's wife. I get anything.

[Mike Birbiglia]

I working it out.

[Rachel Feinstein]

Cuz it's not done working it out.

[Mike Birbiglia]

Because there's no that's gonna do it. For another episode of Working it out, you can follow Rachel on Instagram at Rachel Feinstein Underscore. Check out her who is the person who got who got it without the underscore? That's what I want to know. Check out her tour [e-mail] man, she's got a lot. She's got a lot of underscores and dashes. Ashes. There's a lot of Rachel Feinsteins out there she's competing with. But check out her Netflix special. That's easy. There's not a lot of Rachel Feinstein's on Netflix. So you just go there. Check out her special which is called Big Guy. Check out for biggs.com sign up for the mailing list. You can watch the full video of this one on my YouTube channel micro @ Mike Brabiglia. This is a good one to watch. She's just a super funny person, so when she acts out big bits, she really goes all in. She's a very like charactery act out comedian. She. She really goes there. So that's. This is a good one to watch. And while you're there, subscribe. Our producers are myself along with Peter Salomon, Joseph Her Bigley and Mabel Lewis. Associate producer Gary Simons, sound mixed by Shub Sarah and supervising engineer Kate Balinsky. Special thanks to Jack Antof and Bleachers for their music. Special thanks to my wife, the poet J. Hope Stein. Her audiobook of Little Astronaut is available in now. Special thanks as always to our daughter Una, who built the original radio fort made of pillows which made this podcast possible. Thanks most of all to you who are listening. If you're enjoying the show Please rate us and review us on Apple Podcast. It's the simplest thing. You go over to Apple Podcast, you go, one star, two stars, three stars, four stars, five stars. If you go five stars, chances are somebody's going to find the show and we would really, really appreciate it. As always, tell your friends, tell your enemies. Let's say you, you're dating somebody and you say, let's cuddle. Let's not make love. Let's cuddle. Because I want to wait for you to say I love you before we make love. So let's just cuddle. And they say, well, what about this hotel? And the hotel is like a little bit. It's not great. They're just playing porn on the TV screen. This is a very specific example. But there's just porn on the television. I would say turn off the television and say, you know what? I think you might enjoy a podcast about creating jokes and writing things that you'd never imagine writing your wildest dreams. And maybe you'll do that together at the worst hotel you've ever been to. See you next time everybody.