Nikki Glaser: The Team Captain of Comedy

Summary

Podcast Summary: Mike Birbiglia's Working It Out

Episode: Nikki Glaser — The Team Captain of Comedy (April 13, 2026)

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Overview

In this episode, comedian Mike Birbiglia welcomes Nikki Glaser—whom he dubs “the team captain of comedy”—for an energetic, candid, and hilarious exploration of stand-up material, career reflections, and the darker edges of comedy. They “work out” a variety of jokes, discuss the art and responsibility of tackling taboo topics, and pull back the curtain on what it means to “make it” in comedy while still feeling like an outsider. Glaser also shares insights into her evolving comedic style, hosting the Golden Globes, and her persistent imposter syndrome.

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Key Discussion Points

The "Team Captain of Comedy" & Humility in Success

• Birbiglia opens by praising Glaser’s comedic leadership, highlighting her funniness, authenticity, and kindness.
  • [00:00] Mike Birbiglia (A): “You're a great captain of the comedy team because you're number one, funny above all else. Number two, not pandering. Number three, nice to people.”
• Glaser responds with self-deprecation, joking she can’t accept the compliment:
  • [00:21] Nikki Glaser (B): “I don't believe a word of it… I'll never believe it ever. But thank you. I want to believe it.”

Working Out Edgy Material: Gang Bangs, Porn, and Darkness

• Discussing dark and risqué material in Glaser’s comedy specials.
  • [04:13] B: “The suicide chunk.”
  • [04:24] A: “The gang bang section.”
• Glaser describes the challenge of turning porn addiction and ethical concerns into comedy:
  • [05:28] B: "The porn I'm watching is disturbing and it's not ethical… No one dreams of playing White Trash Whore. Doesn't work at all. Literally doesn't work. But why doesn’t that work?"
• On why she likes shocking-and-impressing:
  • [07:29] B: “I like when people are disgusted by me, but they're also like, damn, that's my Venn diagram—disgust and like, fuck, I gotta be impressed.”

Pushing the Boundaries and Audience Reactions

• Glaser and Birbiglia talk about going “dark” in their material:
  • [08:18] A: “If you can bring an audience to a dark place or a sad place and you can come out the other side… I think that's the best kind of comedy.”
• Glaser’s philosophy on tackling taboo subjects:
  • [09:06] B: “I like talking about things that people don't talk about… If it's actually offensive, I don't have any interest. But if it's just like, I'm just telling the truth, why are you offended?”

Imposter Syndrome & The Experience of Fame

• What it feels like to be a (near) household name:
  • [12:06] B: “You get, like, free desserts a lot… And it's cool to, like, show my family that I made it. Like… I'm adjacent [to household name].”
• Why fame doesn’t fix self-worth:
  • [37:48] B: “Now, once you get it, it's like I can't even enjoy it as… I didn't enjoy going to the popular kid's house when I did get invited.”

Hosting Advice & Public Speaking

• Lessons from hosting the Golden Globes:

  • [23:59] B: "You need to come out of the gate right away strong. So you need a joke. The shortest joke possible.”
  • [24:21] B: “Remember that when you're watching someone public speak, you're not wishing they do a bad job… Everyone's rooting for you.”

• Practicing physiological/mental tricks, learned from “The Masked Singer”:

  • [25:36] B: “If your heart's just going crazy… hold your breath for four seconds and then let it out slowly… It just makes you relax.”

On Dark Jokes, Pedophilia Material, and the Limits of Comedy

• Glaser details a recurring challenge: discussing child abuse, molestation, and fatphobia on stage without crossing a line.
  • [26:42] B: “Pedophiles when they realize they're a pedophile… You know how—like, you've thought that before… Most of us pass it, you know… But some guys go, no, no, no, I'm getting a boner…”
  • On why darkness is necessary: [27:25] B: “If we don't talk about it… If kids are… made to feel ashamed of getting molested… That's too dark? Why is it too dark?”
  • [29:18] B: “It feels like shoplifting again… If someone recorded that one line and took it out of context, I'm cooked.”

Self-Doubt, Storytelling, and Comedy Process

• Glaser and Birbiglia compare approaches: punchlines vs. storytelling:
  • [51:41] A: “My favorite thing in your last hour is the thing where your boyfriend role plays a gang bang for you… I love it because it's a story and I get who you are.”
  • [52:13] B: “That I don't do what you do because I'm scared of it.”
• Advice on “throwing up” stories on stage:
  • [53:15] A: "As long as I know where I'm going and I have an out… that's the right way to do it, but I never thought of it that way."

Porn, Veganism, and Ethical Contradictions

• On ethical contradictions of porn and meat eating:

  • [56:31] A: “…I've watched all the documentaries about the meat industry, but I also love fried chicken sandwiches, and I believe that those contradictions can coexist peacefully.”
  • [57:05] B: “People say, why do you care so much about animals and not about people? At least people can understand what's happening to them. It really hurts me to think of an animal being like, I don't know, and I'm scared.”

• On vegan pride:

  • [57:59] B: “Go vegan. Like, it's not only good for the world, but, like, I just feel better than you… I'm doing a hard thing because it's the right thing. So I get to, like, always be like, I'm good.”

Notable Quotes & Memorable Moments

• [07:47] B (on her audience reaction): “I like when people are disgusted by me, but they're also like, damn, that's… disgust and, like, fuck, I gotta be impressed.”
• [18:22] B (on paying for her mother's facelift): “Who buys their mom a facelift? Who does that? I go, I do. And you need one. You don't need one. You want one, and I'm gonna buy one for you.”
• [19:25] B (re: Lana Del Rey): “I was so sad because I love Lana Del Rey… [She] said, ‘I like her, but I wish she wasn't so dirty.’… I like, took the note, and I'm working on it.”
• [39:54] B (on “the popular kids”): “You would, like, become friends with someone in class that was of the popular group… He would invite me to the popular hang. No one else there knew I was coming. And then it's all like, why is she here?”

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Timestamps for Important Segments

• [00:00] Opening praise for Glaser—“team captain of comedy”
• [04:13] Discussing darkness in Glaser's specials ("suicide chunk", gang bang jokes)
• [05:28–08:18] Ethical porn, developing taboo material, and audience pushback
• [12:06–13:42] Reflections on fame and being a household name
• [23:59–25:36] Tips for public speaking and hosting the Golden Globes
• [26:11–29:18] Glaser’s “pedophile chunk,” societal taboos, speaking truth in comedy
• [37:48–43:43] Imposter syndrome, popularity, and fitting in
• [51:12–53:40] Process discussion: storytelling and punchlines in stand-up
• [56:31–58:01] The ethics of porn vs. veganism; developing a vegan-themed comedy hour
• [59:16–60:30] Nikki’s nonprofit pick: Rescue the Birds

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Notable Quotes by Timestamp

• [00:03] A: “You’re a great captain of the comedy team because you’re… funny above all else… not pandering… nice to people.”
• [04:56] B (on porn): “Things that I used to be like, I would never do that… Like, I would never shoot up, I just take pills… I’m doing that with porn.”
• [09:06] B: “I like talking about things that people don’t talk about. Yeah, that’s my thing. That’s my kink.”
• [24:21] B: “Remember that when you’re watching someone public speak, you’re not wishing they do a bad job… Everyone’s rooting for you.”
• [37:48] B: “I was always… A minus student, A minus popularity, which is fine. But as someone who wants to be the best, it’s very frustrating… and now it’s here and I just… can’t even enjoy it.”
• [51:41] A (on Glaser’s material): “My favorite thing… is… your boyfriend role plays a gang bang for you. So funny… because it’s a story and I get who you are… and I get the dynamic between you.”
• [57:05] B: “People say, why do you care so much about animals and not people?… It really hurts me to think of an animal being like, I don’t know, and I’m scared…”
• [59:16] B: “Rescue the Birds… a rescue organization… so many birds are abandoned… they’re supposed to fly and they’re in cages. It’s fucking brutal.”

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Featured Nonprofit

• Rescue the Birds: Avian rescue in Chicago, focuses on the plight of abandoned parrots (see [59:16]).
  • [B]: “It was this whole rescue operation in the suburbs of Chicago for Parrots… these birds talk and then they’re abandoned and… spend their lives in prison.”

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Tone & Style

The episode is packed with raw candor, self-effacing humor, and industry insights. Glaser leans into honest, sometimes uncomfortable discussions about sex, ethics, and self-worth, always with a sharp, introspective humor. Both comics encourage “going there”—into darkness or taboo—with a sense of irreverence and a drive to make the uncomfortable, hilarious, and revealing.

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Closing

This episode offers an in-depth, behind-the-scenes look at comedy’s creative process and the emotional complexity of “making it” as a performer. Nikki Glaser stands out as an honest, provocative, and driven voice in comedy—still working out her most challenging material and her own place in the world, even as the “team captain.”

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For birds in need, learn more about and donate to [Rescue the Birds].
For more Nikki Glaser, visit her website or catch her on tour.

Transcript

[A]

I believe you're the team captain of comedy right now.

[B]

What does that mean?

[A]

Okay, I texted you this. I wrote, you're a great captain of the comedy team because you're number one, funny above all else. Number two, not pandering. Number three, nice to people. And you responded. Thank you, Mike. Number three, legit means the most.

[B]

That means so much from you. And I don't believe a word of it.

[A]

Okay, perfect.

[B]

It won't ever occur into me and I cannot process it and I'll never believe it ever. But thank you. And I want to believe it. Thank you. I try. I don't try. Actually, I should. I could try harder. That's the problem.

[A]

That is the voice of the great Nikki Glazer. She's trying. She's not trying. She's the team captain of comedy. I love this episode. This is a re air of an episode from a year ago. Nikki Glaser's star is only more on the rise. She is next year hosting the Golden Globes for the third time. She crushed a second time. She has a brand new special on Hulu called Good Girl. She is a riot. I saw the material from this next special in process at the Beacon Theater last year and it was. I thought it was fantastic. I thought it was some of her best material of her career. So I'm thrilled, thrilled to see that special. We have a great conversation today on the podcast. We work out a bunch of jokes. By the way, thanks to everyone who signed up for Working It Out Premium on Apple podcasts. We work out a lot of jokes on there. It's actually like the premium feed which you can subscribe to on Apple podcasts only. It's 4.99amonth and we put a bonus episode in every month and you get to listen to every episode of the podcast. All 200 and something episodes with no ads. But one of the things we do on there that's really fun is we do some episodes that are just working out jokes. So it's like working out listener jokes, working out my jokes, working out Pete Holmes's jokes. And it's super fun and we really appreciate it. It supports the show. It is the birbilia familia. Oh, we just dropped a new episode actually where I'm prepping for a set at the Comedy Cellar. And I will say that premium feed, it's very inside the inside the inside. Like there are, I would say, like the premise of this podcast Working it out was what if we showed the behind the scenes of before things were done and that Premium feed is like before, before, before. Like it is. It is really inside in a way that I never thought we would. And honestly, I'm surprised about how far we've gone. So anyway, we appreciate it. You support the show. Oh, and I should also mention I'm going to be in Los Angeles for one night only at the Netflix is a joke festival May 6th. We have two special guests. It's Mike Brabilia and Friends. We have actually three friends and they're all very, very funny. It's at the Wilshire E Belt theater. Tickets on bigs.com I'm also doing some shows in support of John Mullaney along with Fred Armisen. In the month of May, I'm in Colorado Springs, Eugene, Oregon, Bend, Oregon and then in August, I'm in Morehead, Minnesota and a bunch of other places. All of this is on Burbigs.com and also sign up for the mailing list if you want to take the next step in the mailing list, sign up for text message alerts. That way it doesn't go to your spam text. Birbigs B I R B I G S to 917-444-7150 to be the first to know about my upcoming shows, there's a great talk with Nikki Glaser. We talk about the Golden Globes. We talk about doing controversial material. We actually talk about a lot of the material that I think may have ended up in her new special. And maybe a tag made it in. Who knows? Enjoy my conversation with the great Nikki Glaser. You're special. So funny. And it's so dark. Like it's so far. I was watching it last night.

[B]

Oh, the suicide chunk.

[A]

Well, the suicide chunk, certainly. Yeah, but I mean, certainly that's thematically what it's about in a lot of ways. Yeah, but. But I would say the gang bang section.

[B]

Oh, is that dark?

[A]

I mean, sort of.

[B]

I feel like then I didn't do a good. See, I never felt like I finished that bit because to me, gangbangs are like. I'm trying to celebrate. Like this is amazing. Like this woman does. It's. There's a sadness to it when they have to do it for like. Because they have nothing else to do. But my. The joke that's not working for me about porn is like. Cause I'm having. I'm struggling. I'm trying to talk about porn addiction and how I could see going to that place. Cause the. Where. Where I'm going with porn now or where I'm At. It's not where I started out.

[A]

Right.

[B]

It's like, things that I used to be. Like, I would never do that kind of like, I would never shoot up. I just take pills. I just snort. Like, I'm doing that with porn. Like, it's starting to progress into, like, stuff that I'm like, I don't want to be into this. Gang Bangs. Like, I just, you know, like, it's. But it's progressed past gang bangs. The next special is going to explore the part. It is. But my. I was trying to start that bit. I'm already pitching, like, what should I do for this bit? No, but I was trying to get into it.

[A]

Like, because you've been on the show before, we can. We can jump around.

[B]

Oh, that's right. But get me back on track.

[A]

Gang bang.

[B]

Okay. Gang bangs. Okay. So I just want to set up the thing that, like, the porn I'm watching is disturbing and it's not ethical. Like, the girls in it are not.

[A]

I think about this all the time.

[B]

Are not happy. This wasn't their dream. But the lines that I have to prove that, which is, no one dreams of playing White Trash Whore. Doesn't work at all. Literally doesn't work. But it's like, why doesn't that work? That's the. That was. I was watching a porn once and I was like, oh, that's a funny thing. Like, title.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

Like. And I'm like, who wants to be the ingenue of White Trash Whore? But, like, that is a role that a girl played and she didn't want that. I can't lie to myself and be like, this was her dream.

[A]

No, I know.

[B]

But it doesn't work. For some reason, the audience doesn't like it. And then the other proof I have is that. And this one doesn't work either. The porn I watch.

[A]

This one doesn't work.

[B]

It doesn't. And I'm like, I want to ask you why the porn I watch. And so I can tell these. So I don't think it's going to end up in a special because they will not work. So maybe they'll work in this format.

[A]

They might, though. They might. Because I thought that what you pulled off with the gangbang joke was impressive. Like, I just to. Just to scroll back. You're special. It's like you have a joke where the premise is about you enjoy watching porn that has gang bangs and then your boyfriend in a hilarious turn. I don't know how much is true and how much is not. Does kind of an act out for you simulation of a gang bang.

[B]

Yeah, I mean, it's based in a real thing we did, and then I made it ridiculous.

[A]

He does the voices?

[B]

Yes. Maybe in real life there's been voices. I mean, I don't think it's like. I think he's put on different, like, gruffness. Not, like really committing to a voice, but it was inspired by true events.

[A]

My favorite part is when he goes, there's a line of men in the hallway waiting. And you go, that's a train.

[B]

Oh, yeah. Would I correct him? Yeah, yeah, yeah.

[A]

That's a great joke. But anyway, the whole thing leads towards. And spoiler alert, the special's been out for two years, so. And whatever. Yeah, we just watched the specials, but. But it all leads to Life is a gang bang.

[B]

Yes.

[A]

And it's so satisfying of a punchline.

[B]

It's just a woman juggling a lot of things at once.

[A]

And it's like, the more you juggle,

[B]

the more impressive of a woman you are, if you can be at all. And like, in that moment, she's, like, jerking off a guy, taking it in every single hole. Acting enthusiastic. Like, you think about, like, I liked what I realized. I liked watching it because I related to that.

[A]

Right.

[B]

And I feel like that I'm still exploring that, like, with the stuff. Like, now I'm into, like, the next feat of athleticism. Like, I think this is my sexual thing too. So it's kind of mixed in, but it's all mixed into stand up, too. I like when people are disgusted by me, but they're also like, damn, that's my Venn diagram discussed. And like, fuck, I gotta be impressed. And that's the same kind of reaction that certain porn I watch has where it's like, she's doing that. What the fuck? That's pretty awesome. I like when people have that reaction about my stand up, too.

[A]

No, I think that that's great. And I think it's like, that's. I think part of the reason I like your stand up so much, because I'm trying to do something analogous, which is, like, if I can go to the saddest topics, if I can talk about cancer or sleepwalking or death and all these things.

[B]

Oh, sleepwalking. One of the saddest topics. Cancer.

[A]

Sleepwalking through sleepwalking. Of course.

[B]

Of course. No, I think about you every time I see a La Quinta or whenever I get a ground floor. I'm going on Mike Birbiglia tonight. Ground floor. Not feeling safe. But if I had his thing. I would be.

[A]

If I had his thing. The. But I do try to do that thing, which is like, if you can bring an audience to a dark place or a sad place and you can come out the other side of that, I think that's the best kind of comedy.

[B]

Yeah. I like talking about things that people don't talk about. Yeah, that's my thing. That's my kink. I like it on stage. I like doing it where it's like, what's wrong with it? If it's actually offensive, I don't have any interest. But if it's just like, I'm just telling the truth, why are you offended?

[A]

Yeah, yeah.

[B]

Oh, I like it. Love that. I love when I tell a joke where I'm like, what am I saying? That's offensive here, right? What, like, what are you. What are you going? Oh, about. Let's unpack it. Like, there was one recently where I'm like, I like, say something to people who are molested in the crowd.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

And I like. And people get so weird, and I'm like, just, oh, no, no, no. The joke that I have right now is. I was talking about. I have a joke about, like, I think fat people are discriminated against in society. And if you don't think that they are, next time you're with your fat friend, be like, as a fat person, do you feel discriminated against? I dare you. And I go, why? Why wouldn't you? If there's nothing wrong with being fat?

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

You know, like, if there's no discrimination, what's wrong with saying, you wouldn't like. And so I like having a thing where it seems like I'm making a fat joke, but I'm not. I'm making a joke proving that you're uncomfortable with fat people. And why are you like, that's not the best example of it. But I just like when people get offended and I get to go, you don't get to be. It's very passive aggressive.

[A]

No, I think it's fun. I think that comedy, like, I love it when comedians challenge their audience to just go, oh, yeah, I guess that is something that I'm repressed about. Talking about.

[B]

Oh, I'll have a better example. I say something about, oh, I'm talking about pedophiles. I have a really big pedophile.

[A]

Chunks up. Oh, yeah, I saw it. It's a great hour.

[B]

Oh, God.

[A]

God, your hour at the Beacon was amazing.

[B]

God, it's so much better to talk to you about when you haven't seen it, but you've been so nice. It sounds real nice. I have this whole chunk about pedophiles. It's really edgy. I can't wait for you to see it. You're like, I have. I nearly forgot about it.

[A]

I have a funny anecdote about it, which is the. Like, the week afterwards, I saw you at the Beacon. Because I was at the Beacon for six shows, and then you were at the beginning, I think, for six shows. Like, it was, like, back to back. And I did a spot on one of your nights. You were nice enough to have me on.

[B]

Nice enough? Are you kidding me?

[A]

But it was. No, it was. It was super fun. It was a good hang. It was a.

[B]

It was so fun. You were the best hang.

[A]

Oh. And it was like. And I'm at, like, pickup for my daughter's school, and a bunch of the parents were like, oh, I saw Nikki Glazer at the Beacon Theater. And that's how famous you are now. And it's such a funny thing. I'm like, that's my friend. I go. I was on the. Thursday night. I did a spot, and the parents were like, you were on stage? Yeah. I do this too, you know.

[B]

Do they not look at you like that?

[A]

I don't think so. I don't know.

[B]

Of course they do. If they know who Nikki Glazer is, they know who Mike.

[A]

No, I don't know. But it's great. What is that? We'll circle back to the edgy.

[B]

Yes, yes, yes.

[A]

We'll circle back to the joke. But I will say, like, what does that feel like to have that kind of household named them? Like, what's the best thing about it and what's the worst thing about it?

[B]

Ooh. Well, you. I think you've been here, so I think the best thing about it is that you get, like, free desserts a lot. Because if you call and say it's a reservation for Nikki Glaser, and they, like, if they clock it or if someone in their system clocks it, you're gonna get some free dessert, and you're gonna pay for it in the tip anyway. You know, you're gonna. But it's still. You get to. You have to eat a dessert. What, are you not gonna eat it?

[A]

Yeah, no, it's great.

[B]

That's nice.

[A]

That's really nice.

[B]

And it's cool to, like, show my family that I am, like, I made it. Like, I'm like. I don't think I'm household yet, but I'm like, Adjacent. And so that's like a big achievement because I really didn't think I was ever going to be a household name. I'd given up on that long ago. I was totally fine with never being that. So it's just nice that it, like, came up when I least accepted it. And then the worst thing is I don't think there's any bad things.

[A]

Huh.

[B]

It makes you rich. It does. And being rich is comfortable and it makes you. It's true. And, and people are, you know, what's the coolest thing you get to give the gift of, like, yourself to, like, if you meet people and you're cool to them and you take a picture or something, you get to like, make people's day. Like, again, I have a joke right now where I get. I always get recognized. Girls will recognize me when they spray tan me, but they won't say it until I'm naked. And I. And they go, my boyfriend and I are such big fans. And I was like, well, I'm excited for you to tell them about my naked body later tonight. And she goes, I would never do that. And I go, I would tell them about my boobs. Take it in. Because like, there's no way she's not. But also she gets to see her a person. She's a fan of naked.

[A]

That's kind of a gift. That is so funny.

[B]

I would kill to see, like some of the people if someone, if Taylor Swift walked into a tanning place that I was doing and I, I, I wouldn't tell anyone about it. It would be like. I'm not gonna say Taylor Swift, but like, someone. Because she's on a different level. I don't wanna. But like, I don't know, just someone I like.

[A]

Jason Bateman. Yes.

[B]

I would love it. I would keep it a. Again, I would keep a secret. I wouldn't be telling people. I wouldn't like, talk about his. Whatever I saw. But like, I probably would, right? I probably would. And that's a gift to have a celebrity story and they're naked.

[A]

But you don't have any self consciousness about that.

[B]

No, because I talk about what my vagina looks like and what I describe is worse than what it is.

[A]

Right.

[B]

And I'm not like, ashamed of my body when I'm doing those things, like when it's in a medical procedure, like a spray tan.

[A]

Circling back, I have a question about Alive and Unwell. I think it's a great title.

[B]

Thanks.

[A]

That's going to be the special title, right? I don't Know, it's such a good title.

[B]

Okay. Yeah. You know, someday you'll die was, I think, one of the best titles I've ever come up with and will ever come up with. And so. And that wasn't the name of the tour, so I leave it open. But I do think alive and unwell is a good name.

[A]

Describe to me. And I agree with you, but describe to me why you think someday you'll die is a great title.

[B]

It gets the people going.

[A]

Oh, interesting.

[B]

Like, it's like, someday you'll die. It's just like. I just feel like. It's like you go, okay, whoa. We all know it. It's just. It's, like, offensive, but again, it seems offensive, but it's not.

[A]

Right. It's a shot of espresso.

[B]

Yeah. I mean, I've had some bad names in the past, but actually, no, I stand by all of them. I like them all. Do you like all yours?

[A]

I like all mine. I have second guesses sometimes about the Broadway show the New One, because whenever I say it, people just go like, wait, the new one? Or this is a special called the New one.

[B]

Yes.

[A]

You know, and it's like, ah. There is a part of me that, like, kind of bums me out that. That is a conversational confusion that you

[B]

have to live with forever and ever.

[A]

Yeah. But I love the Old man in the Pool as the film, but I

[B]

think the new one is. It's too good.

[A]

Aww.

[B]

It's too good of a title, and it's too good of a special, and it just fits with it too much. You just have to. You just have to suffer.

[A]

That's so sweet. You know what's so funny is in your special, you make, like, this extraordinarily good case for not having children. You came to the new one, which is about me having a child, and it's very emotional, and you were emotional afterwards.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

And so it's like, where. Where do those two things meet? Oh, but my dad.

[B]

You're a dad.

[A]

Oh, that I'm a dad.

[B]

I would be a dad. Without question. I would love to be a dad. It seems. It seems hard, but not too hard. But being a mom seems too hard.

[A]

That's true.

[B]

And that's what I'm exploring in the next.

[A]

So you're emotional. Okay. So you're. Yeah, I love that material. So you're emotional when you watch mine because you're in my shoes as a dad.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

You're, like, living my experience as a dad.

[B]

Yeah. And it's. And it's I think it's even. It's maternal, too. Like, it's the same feeling, but you get to have it because it's a little. To me, I would do what you're doing because it seems a little bit easier. Not easy by any means. I just exaggerate that for the stage. But, like, I think that it's. Yeah. I get to live out even what I would feel as a mother through you as a father. I think the love is the same feeling. You just have to do less.

[A]

Right.

[B]

And so that's why you will get to feel it and I probably won't.

[A]

Right.

[B]

So. But I do get to feel it through your stuff. And I'm good on love. I feel very loved. The thing I'm worried about is I'm gonna want kids when my parents die, because they're still kicking and they're my best friends, and it's unconditional love. It's me, you know, it's my lineage. So I think if they go, I'll have this. Like, I might. The scaffolding might give way. And I'm like, I'll be. But then I'll adopt.

[A]

They're pretty young, though.

[B]

My dad's 70. My mom's. Yeah, 65. So it's like. I mean, can't be forever.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

Someday you'll die.

[A]

You're like, the best case scenario of a child. Like, if my daughter treated me as well as you treat your parents.

[B]

Am the best daughter ever. Mom, you're watching this. You know, she. Like, I do. I learned from Kathy Griffin. Remember how she would just bring her parents everywhere?

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

They're fun. They're hilarious. They keep me grounded. They don't. They're impressed by me because they're so supportive, but they're not too impressed. So it's just like, they're just great hangs and I pay for everything. It's like, they're my kids. My mom is always. I can't. Nikki, I'm not letting you pay for that. Who buys their mom a facelift? Who does that? I go, I do.

[A]

Oh, my God.

[B]

And you need one. You don't need one. You want one, and I'm gonna buy one for you.

[A]

This is. We're all over the place, but I feel like people can follow it.

[B]

That's gonna be the name of my next tour.

[A]

All over the place.

[B]

Because that's kind of the vibe.

[A]

Yeah, I like that.

[B]

I might have you take this out, but maybe I'll just keep it because I'm gonna talk about it in A perfect way. Or at least try to. So I woke up to a text from a writer that I've worked with for a while, and it was to, like, a group chat, and he's to a bunch of writers on this chat, and he said, oh, I was at this party tonight, this kind of eccentric party, and I ended up talking to this girl who. Gorgeous, but, you know, definitely funny and kooky and was in this conversation, and she asked me what I did and I said, oh, I write. And she said, what do you work on? And I mentioned Nikki and she said, oh, I like her, but I wish she wasn't so dirty. And he goes. And I walked. Then she walked away and. And my friend came up to me and goes, what were you talking to Lana Del Rey about?

[A]

Oh, my God.

[B]

And I was so sad because I love Lana Del Rey and brilliant.

[A]

So she's dirty.

[B]

I thought she would have been into that stuff. And now I'm like, oh, my God. And now it. It was helpful advice. Literally, it was helpful advice. And she's an. But I. At first I was like, how dare she? What? And then I was like, I've got some notes too for her. Like, we can't. She's one of the best, brilliant artists ever.

[A]

Oh, yeah, One of the greatest.

[B]

I'm entitled to not like, things of hers. I definitely. There's songs that I'm like, eh. So she's allowed to be eh. About me. Like, I can't be like, she doesn't like me. She just wants me to be less dirty. I, like, took the note and I'm working on it.

[A]

Are you serious?

[B]

Yeah. Because I think not just to appeal to her, but to appeal to people like her. Like people that I could be sharing my message with, but that are turned off because they're like, oh, I hear she's too dirty. And I just don't want to hear that. Some people are deeply uncomfortable by it. It's not even like they're prude, they're just like, ew, it's gross. So.

[A]

Well, that. That's why when I was. When I was starting out, I veered towards being cleaner for that exact reason, which is that there's certain people who just can't hear cursing. They can't hear whatever. And so, like, I was like, well, I don't want to lose those people because I think I can connect with those people.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

So I veered cleaner, but I. I'm not fully clean.

[B]

No, you've gotten a little bit, like, more honest.

[A]

Yeah, I think so.

[B]

In terms of what subjects interest you or what you know, you don't. If you want to go somewhere, you'll go somewhere. You go dark, too?

[A]

Yeah, it's pretty dark.

[B]

Yeah, you go real dark.

[A]

Especially that comes out in May and it's pretty dark. Yeah. The Good Life.

[B]

That's a good name.

[A]

Thanks. Yeah, I'm excited.

[B]

And you can use all those old the Good Life shirts as merch. Go get those.

[A]

Go get those.

[B]

Go get those. With the little stick figure that was just always like chilling in a hammock.

[A]

Working it out is supported by Rula. Let's talk about therapy for a second. We talk about therapy all the time on the show. I talked about it with Gary Goleman with Sarah Sherman. That was a good episode where we talk therapy. I've been in therapy. I know firsthand. Sometimes navigating mental healthcare can be challenging. Here's the thing about Rula. Rula helps to make that part easier. Rula works with major insurance plans. Sessions can cost as little as $15 and in some case, $0, depending on what your benefits are. Rula isn't just a directory. They help book appointments. They stay on top of your schedule and keep track of progress so you actually can get somewhere with them. Every therapist on Rulo's platform is licensed, vetted and chosen for their expertise. You're not rolling the dice. You're talking to legit professionals who know how to get results. Thousands of people have already used Rula to finally get the care they needed. Don't keep putting it off. Go to rula.comBRRBigs and get started today. That's R U L A.com BRBigs take the first step. Get connected. Take control of your mental health. Support for working it out comes from Article. Article offers a curated range of mid century modern, coastal and Scandinavian inspired pieces that not only shine on their own, but also pair seamlessly with nearly any other article product. I was on the site and I got this gorgeous saltwater blue ottoman. It's in my living room. It's gorgeous. I also got like a little bookcase and a little rug. They all sort of have a nice matching color palette. I love this article furniture. They have a thoughtful design approach that makes it incred incredibly easy to mix and match, helping you create a space that feels cohesive as well as stylish. I feel like if you went on the Article website, you could spend hours there. Article is offering our listeners $50 off your first purchase of $100 or more. To claim that, visit article.comwio for working it out. And the discount will be automatically applied at checkout. That's article.com wio for $50 off your first purchase of $100 or more. The Golden Globes was unbelievable. Yeah. Jenny and I watched her, and the Golden Globes were just like, she's just every. She's killing every second and threading the needle, which is someone's hosting something, whether it's an award show or they're. Or their local co op meeting.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

What is. What are your tips for hosting something?

[B]

You need to come out of the gate right away strong.

[A]

Okay.

[B]

So you need a joke. The shortest joke possible. Welcome to the Golden Globes Ozempic Biggest night.

[A]

Yep. Great.

[B]

Like, right away. I mean, we took forever. I was like, I just want it to be quicker. And they're like, it's literally the first sentence you're saying. It was other stuff we were trying. I forget. And then that one was just like, oh, good. There's no words between the joke and the. What it is.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

And I also think, like, especially if I'm giving advice to people who are scared to public speak, I think this is just actually something that people need to know. Remember that when you're watching someone public speak, you're not wishing they do a bad job. No one's in the audience going, like, look how nervous they are. I hate them. I hope they're more nervous. Everyone's rooting for you.

[A]

Right.

[B]

And I think that kind of attitude, like, can help you just think about how you are when you watch someone nervous and how you want them to feel like you just have compassion for them. You're not like, look at this idiot.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

No one's doing that to you in your classroom presentation. Like, I was. I was a nervous speaker in high school and middle school. Like, wouldn't get up in front of people would come in during recess to give the presentations because I would shake so bad. And I just wish someone would have said, nikki, no one's, like, wanting you to be bad. Totally. Everyone's just, like, wanting you to be comfortable. And so. So remember that and listen to a meditation beforehand. That's like a performance meditation.

[A]

Well, that's nice.

[B]

I don't do it, but I think it would work. I would do it if I needed to. Feel like you could do this.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

Like a sports one. Like, they have ones for sports. So I would do that. Like, if I was just giving a presentation at work and I was nervous. That's what I do.

[A]

Do you. It's funny.

[B]

I.

[A]

It didn't occur to me until I

[B]

went, one more thing. This is too good. Because people might actually need this do with. I learned on Mass Singer, if you want to, like, if your heart's just going crazy and you're shaking and you feel like you're gonna pass out. Cause you're so nervous, hold your breath for four seconds and then let it out slowly. So, okay, four seconds. Because it'll slow your heart rate right away. And I learned it on the Masked Singer because you need your vocal cords to be so, like, you need to be, like, relaxed. And I would get tense right before. And it just makes you relax.

[A]

Right?

[B]

So that's a good one. That I didn't know until recently. So I wanna pass it on.

[A]

We have to get back to the topic that we were on about dark jokes.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

What was the. What was the. How did we arrive in that?

[B]

Yeah, yeah. So I do a pedophilia chunk and I do the. I think the. One of the darkest things I say on stage that I get away with, and I don't know how is that I talk about, like, pedophiles when they, like, realize they're a pedophile. Because I listen to a lot of true crime podcasts.

[A]

Oh, yeah.

[B]

I've listened to, like, interviews with pedophiles. Like, how does this happen? You know, and the thing. A lot of times they just do the thing where you go, would I want to fuck kids? I go, you know how. Like, you've thought that before? Because you have. You know, it's a thing you have to ask yourself that.

[A]

Right.

[B]

And they kind of usually laugh, but if they don't, I go. And if you haven't, like, I think you're scared of the answer. And then that, like, gets them for, like. So they can't be mad anymore because they know that's true. Like, if you.

[A]

Right.

[B]

And if you. And most of us pass it, you know when we go, yes. Like, oh, my God, that makes me sick. And you're like, oh, you're not that thing. But some guys go, no, no, no, I'm getting a boner. No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no. And then the joke goes on and on. But that's really dark. But guess what? I think child abuse is one of the worst things that can happen. It's the worst thing for society. It's like, why we're in the state we're in is because these people did not learn empathy because they were abused as children. Whether emotionally, physically, sexually, spiritually.

[A]

And the cycle repeats itself.

[B]

And if we don't talk about it.

[A]

No, I know.

[B]

Then if kids are. If people are made to feel ashamed of getting molested, which is. It's in the air because everyone goes, you can't talk about it. That's too dark. Why is it too dark? Did that person. It's not. It's not a bad thing that that happened to her. That was an. It was like a car accident. She could talk about being in a car accident when she's five, but she can't talk about being molested when she was five because it makes everyone feel weird. Or she, like, you know. And both those things can be very triggering things. I'm not telling people. I feel because some people have been like, nikki, some people don't want to talk about their molestations. It's too much for them. Like, then that's fine. But I don't think we should live in a world where that's really weird. You brought that up. It's like, it's happening all around us. And it's very simple. Way to make it stop is if everyone just is able to report it and talk about it naturally.

[A]

I've always felt that about. You know, I bring this up in one of my books where I got really emotional when I saw the movie Spotlight. It's about all the abuse in the Catholic Church. Tom McCarthy directed this movie. It's brilliant movie. I think it's one of the best movies in the last 25 years. But I cried and cried and cried when I saw it. And I think it's because I grew up in that repressive Catholic, Massachusetts altar boy universe. And the movie is about putting a spotlight on things like that.

[B]

Yes.

[A]

And that's what jokes do, too.

[B]

I don't want to get on my, like, high horse about, like, that's our job as comedians. Like, that's. But like, if you're a good comedian artist, which it's okay if you're not. If you just want to make people laugh and get the easy joke or whatever you do. Like, I think even, like, goofy stuff. That's not saying something is important. Yeah, But I'm saying if you want to say something. I think we have to. My only job, I think, is to talk about things that people don't know how to say themselves or they haven't heard yet on tv. Because I get to say it because I'm in the things I say live on stage, on my tour. They're not going in a special. They're insane. And I'm like, how cool is it that I get to feel safe saying things into a microphone in front of thousands of people? And if this gets out, my life is kind of fucked.

[A]

That's so funny.

[B]

It's a thrill. It feels like shoplifting again. I'm like. Like, I will go to bed after a night of a show, and I'm like, oh, my God. If someone recorded that one line and took it out of context, I'm cooked.

[A]

You know, it's so. That's a great way to do it.

[B]

But that's cool that I get to do that still. Like, I feel safe enough even in this. We don't even take people's phones. I probably should start. Now that I put this out there, people are gonna be like. But now I catch them. I go, I can stop filming. Stop filming. I just go quick. Because I go, if you want to film comedians, get a matte case because we can see the shine off or put your hand in front of it. But I'm really, like, fired up. I've been working on this pedophile joke for literally, like, it skipped. It hasn't made it into two different specials. And I. The other night, I go, the pedophile joke's not going in the special. As when I got off stage the other night to my friends, I was like, it's. It's. It can't. It's just like. It's one of those jokes that can only take place there because I think out of context, people could just destroy me over it and be like, I. I'm on the wrong side of things, or I'm being insensitive, and. But the truth is, I'm like. Like, all four people. Like, if you were molested, like, I'm writing it for you. Even though I wasn't molested, I could still write a joke for people who have been. I have a lot of empathy, even though I'm not fat. I'm, like, trying to write a joke about fat people, and I'm not fat.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

But I could be.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

And I would like to be. I would like to live in a world where I could be and wouldn't feel like I would be treated less than. And I'm angered by that, and so I want to say something about it. So it's like, I'm kind of. It's kind of scary to talk about things. It's like, you don't have a right to talk about that. You're not that thing.

[A]

Sure.

[B]

But why can I. I could have a bad Take actually on this thing. I'm allowed to.

[A]

Right.

[B]

That's when people. It bothers me is like, you can't talk about that because you. It's like, well, I'm. I could have a horrible take. That's still okay too.

[A]

I can have a horrible take.

[B]

Yeah. I have the take of someone who hasn't experienced it.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

Actually, I can talk about molestation because it hasn't happened to me.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

That's actually why, like, if it happened to me, I probably. Like, I don't. I was anorexic and I can make jokes here and there about it and I can talk about it seriously, but comedically I can't. But other people, I mean, I have lines here and there, but my own experience with it. There's like too much pain and, like shame there.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

And so someone else could probably talk about it and say some things that I can't because it didn't happen to them.

[A]

Support for Working it out comes from Mint Mobile. I don't know about you, but I like keeping my money where I can see it. I'm just surrounded by cash at all times. Unfortunately, traditional big wireless carriers also seem to like keeping my money, too. Ah, I see where this is going. After years of overpaying for wireless, I finally got fed up with crazy high wireless bills, bogus fees, and free perks that actually cost more in the long run. And I switched to Mint Mobile. Mint Mobile is here to rescue you with premium wireless plans starting around 15 bucks a month. All plans come with high speed data and unlimited talk and text delivered on the nation's largest 5G network. Bring your own phone and number, activate with ESIM in minutes and start saving immediately. No long term contracts, no hassle. Ditch overpriced wireless and get three months of premium wireless service from Mint Mobile for 15 bucks a month. If you like your money, Mint Mobile is for you. Shop [e-mail] burbigs that's mintmobile.com burbigs support for working it out comes from Helix. If you're a listener to this podcast, you know how much we love Helix Mattresses. Everyone on staff here working it out has a Helix mattress. We are never going back. I've been a Helix customer myself for many years, since the beginning of this podcast almost six years ago. I know a thing or two about sleep, and Helix makes the best mattress I've ever slept on. And I've slept on a lot of mattresses. I travel quite a bit, stay in a lot of hotels. Traveling actually can be hard. If I could bring my Helix mattress with me on tour I would. Helix makes award winning sleep products tested and reviewed by experts like Forbes and Wired. You can also rest easy with seamless returns and exchanges. The Happy with Helix guarantee offers a risk first experience designed to ensure you're completely satisfied with your new mattress. Helix offers a 120 night sleep trial and limited lifetime warranty. 120 nights go to helix sleep.combrbigs for 20% off sitewide that's helixsleep.combrbigs for 20 percent off sitewide helixsleep.combrbigS support for working out comes from Shopify. Shopify is the commerce platform behind millions of businesses around the world and 10% of all E commerce in the 10% of all E commerce from household names like Allbirds and Momofuku to brands just getting started. Are you a new business owner looking to expand into e commerce? If so, you might be a little nervous about taking the plunge. Is this really the right decision for me? What if I fail? That's something I think about all the time. What if no one buys anything? I think about that too. Shopify helps you find your customers with easy to run email and social media campaigns. And what if I get stuck? Shopify is always around to share advice with their award winning 24. 7 customer support. Shopify is here to help you move confidently into the e commerce space. It's time to turn those what ifs into with Shopify today. Sign up for your $1 per month trial today at shopify.com wio go to shopify.com wio that's shopify.com wio. This is the slow round. What is a song that makes you cry?

[B]

It depends on my mood. But you know, I just cue up a song of what I'm going through. But I remember one that was like really heartbreaking was the Drugs Don't Work by the Verve. I remember hearing that song and being like, I think this is the saddest song I've ever heard. And I like sent it to my dad with an emotional email attached that he never really wrote back to. So it just was like, you need to hear this. It's just about someone they love like dying of cancer and it's not working and they're gonna go, oh my God. And it's so good. The Verve. Underrated. What about you?

[A]

I've answered this before. I'll answer it again. I can't make you love me. Oh funny rate.

[B]

Why does that one hit for you? What's going on.

[A]

I think it's. Cause it's at the heart of so many feelings of. Of like so many things, you know, so many things in your life are out of your control. I feel like that that's what that song's about.

[B]

Do you know it's written? Why it was written?

[A]

No, I know she didn't write it.

[B]

Yeah. So that song, I think, was about a guy. The guy that wrote it, like, witnessed some interaction in court, whether he was in jury duty or something of, you know, a marital dispute. And it was a guy really wanting to, like, stay together with this woman. And it was just the divorce was finalized and his, like, last statement after he kind of did his thing was like, and I can't make you love me if you don't.

[A]

Wow.

[B]

And then the person just the. The songwriter, like, wrote it down. I was like, like, I can't make her. Like, he was just some. Like, it was like, oh, but that is really. I mean, that's. That's.

[A]

It's deep to me, right? Because it's like I'm. I think I'm a bit of a control freak. I think that that's one of my Achilles heels.

[B]

Oh, have. Did you ever love someone and they didn't love you? It's the.

[A]

Oh, yeah.

[B]

It's the. That's why I pick people who can never love. Like. Like, I. That's why I go, like, when they start to love me, I'm like, this is boring.

[A]

Oh, God, yes.

[B]

I live for someone who doesn't love me, even though my parents love me so much.

[A]

Right.

[B]

I just didn't believe it. I think that's it, because by all accounts, they did, but I just didn't buy it. I didn't get it.

[A]

You did the quality control on it. You didn't. It didn't pass.

[B]

I didn't believe. Like, I didn't let it in. And because my mom's always like, but we. I did hug you. And there's like evidence of it. I'm like, you didn't hug me. That's why I'm desperate for strangers attention. It's like I realize now they did love me as a normal child, that would have been enough, but for me, I needed something more.

[A]

Is there a group that wouldn't let you in ever in your life all the time?

[B]

Yeah. Like, I feel like that's. That's also what drives me is like, I. I want to be one of the popular girls.

[A]

Right.

[B]

I want to be in that play.

[A]

Right.

[B]

I want to be one of the best singers in acapella. I want to be seen as one of the. As exceptional. And I just, I never was and now I am.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

And I don't believe it. So why. Because. Why now? Why did it take 40 years? Yeah, I think all the. I have a lot a track record of proving that I'm not worthy of, of being special. And now I am. I'm just kind of like too little too late. Like I'm not like it's never happened before. I've never been like, no one's ever been like, you're the best. Or like any kind of like not saying that like even one of the best. Like I don't relate to being. I was always. It's not the popular. I was a. A minus student, a minus popularity, which is fine. But as someone who wants to be the best, it's very frustrating. But then I made peace with it and now it's here and I just. And now once you get it, it's like I can't even enjoy it as I didn't enjoy going to the popular kid's house when I did get invited.

[A]

Right.

[B]

Stressed out the whole time that I didn't belong there.

[A]

I. I think this, I think you should do this in the special.

[B]

Yeah, I think I'm getting into like having low self esteem or just like.

[A]

Because this is thematically a lot of what you're talking about. In that Beacon hour, we've been trying

[B]

to like, me and my team have been trying to be like, what, what, what do I want to say? Like I've been asking myself that and it's like. Or no, they've been saying something that's interesting about your life right now that you haven't been able to talk about in specials is that you got famous. Why don't you talk about being famous? People want to hear that. And I'm like, but I don't have anything to say about it. But that is something to say about it is that it's reaching a new level that I have since Tom Brady roast hasn't brought me more happiness. I mean it has in terms of the desserts and the money and stuff. But like. But it's not made me believe in myself anymore. In fact, I feel like there's so much more to lose now if someone figures out that I'm not good. And so now it's just like, I gotta. I just really wanna let go of that stuff.

[A]

Is there a story? Cause you were saying like I was invited to the popular girl's house. Eventually. And I didn't.

[B]

Is there a story around that?

[A]

Yeah, you have it. You have a story.

[B]

I have so many stories of being.

[A]

Because. Because I feel like that should be in the show. Because I feel like thematically that's what the show's about already. But I think if you had like, a childhood story where we're like, oh, my God, of course we've all been there. We've all been the unpopular kid who gets invited, like, one time to the popular kids.

[B]

Well. Oh, yeah. Well, you know, it was always just like, I thought this was like a funny image that I. But I don't know how to make it something because I always feel this way whenever I go to, like, a Golden Globe. Like, not Gold, because I host it. But even there, I was just kind of like, I am sorry I'm here. Like, I'd be in the crowd doing a thing and I'd just be like, no one talk to me. Whereas everyone was like, we don't want to talk to her because she's hosting. And I'm like, they hate me and they're mad I'm here and they think I'm a fraud. But just always going in, like, one person. Like, were you popular?

[A]

No, it was. It was like a winding road.

[B]

Yeah. So you the same kind of.

[A]

Yeah, yeah. So in and out. In and out.

[B]

You would, like, become friends with someone in class that was of the popular group, but they were maybe lower level or like one of, like, the chill stoner guys. I befriend him. He would invite me to the popular hang.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

No one else there knew I was coming. And then it's all like, why is she here? And by that time, Gavin's in the bathroom, so I can't be like, Gavin brought me. So it's just like, I just appear.

[A]

Oh, God.

[B]

And you, like, they only notice you because you knock over, like, something.

[A]

That's a great.

[B]

Why are you here? Who invited her? I'm like, Gavin, and he's nowhere. He's getting high outside. And so, like, that's always how I feel at things is like the person who brought me there isn't explaining to people why I'm here. And so it looks like I've snuck in, like, right. Like at the Comedy Cellar. I remember Amy and Anthony back in the day, you know, 2009 or whatever, bringing me to the Cellar 10 and me being back at that table, being like, I don't belong here. I need to get the fuck out of here. Like, esti's here tonight. Like, I'VE only heard about her. It's a Saturday night, and I order food. They're like, it's fine, Nick. It's fine. You're with us. We're regulars. Which they were. They go down to, like, watch Aziz or something. They're like, stay here because your food's coming. I stay there. I'm alone at the table. Chris Rock walks in and Esti sees me and he sees the table, turns around and goes. Gets a booth, but I don't have time to even, like, leave or anything. And esti's just like, who are you? Oh, like, nightmare. Nightmare. Cause I didn't even wanna be there in the first place. I fought sitting there, and then all of a sudden it looks like I'm like, this is my table and I don't even work there. She doesn't even know my name. I'm so glad she didn't remember me as a.

[A]

Cut to Chris Roxa at your Beacon show with Padma Lakshmi, like, 10 years later.

[B]

Cut to.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

And yes, it's. It. Like, I did belong there. But, like, that's always how I feel is like I somehow tricked someone. Do you have that. Do you have imposter?

[A]

Yeah, yeah, yeah. Certainly. Oh, yeah, yeah. All day. I mean, yeah, of course. I think, like, it similarly, though, it goes in and out. Like, I. Like, I'll have. I'll have weeks where I'm going. Like, no, I'm actually pretty good at this. And then I'll. We have weeks where I go. I am fundamentally not funny.

[B]

No, I have.

[A]

And it's a crips not even crazy feeling to be like, I'm fundamentally not funny. And I'm walking in front of a thousand people.

[B]

I am the least funny person. Maybe that's in this place. These people are all funnier than me because they. They are going to see a show of someone who is funnier. And I was only funnier then because I had the right help. Like, I always just attribute. Anytime I kill it because there have been times where I'm like, couldn't have gone better.

[A]

Yeah. Yeah.

[B]

I nailed it. I'm great.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

But I just go because of all these people that helped me.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

That. All these other reasons that weren't me or I just got lucky that someone else turned that down. And also, I had enough time. And also, like, the movies were really good to make fun of. So I just lucked out. Like, you can't compare me to someone who had. Who. You can't say I'm better than this. So. And so host well, some you can, but like, others you can't. Because I had more to work with because I had wicked. Like, I'll make any excuse why I did that.

[A]

That's really funny. You're such a good fodder that year or whatever. That's insane.

[B]

Yeah, yeah. Anyone could have done that.

[A]

I wrote down tons of notes during your show.

[B]

Thank you so much. Than I've taken on my show.

[A]

Oh, really?

[B]

Honestly? Yes.

[A]

It's so funny. This is. I don't know if this will translate, but you go, people criticize people who have plastic surgery. They go, she ruined her face. Do you still do this?

[B]

Yeah, yeah, but I haven't broken it yet.

[A]

What's the joke, though?

[B]

Well, the. There is no joke. The joke is, well, she didn't want this. Like, why are you getting mad at her? Like, no one would ask for this. She wishes she had died during anesthesia. She has to walk around like this. Why are you mad at her?

[A]

So then I wrote down. It's like being like, she shat her pants. It's like if she. I wrote down is. It's like if she. She had her pants and people are like, her pants were so clean before she shit in them.

[B]

Yes. It was an accident.

[A]

Yeah, No, I know. She didn't mean to shit in her pants.

[B]

Why did you shit your pants? Pants, yeah. Why did you choose to do that? Yes. The only thing it's missing for me is that I want the analogy to have the effort behind it, the effort that goes into it doing something. Or so maybe she was trying to doing something.

[A]

It went wrong. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

[B]

She was trying to fart her pants.

[A]

That's right.

[B]

She was just trying to pass gas in a very discreet way. She didn't mean for this to happen.

[A]

It went south. It went too far.

[B]

Yeah. And now you're mad at her pants. She's walking around with shit on her pants all night and it can. She can't fix it.

[A]

Her pants were so clean before she showed. Why did you ruin your pants trying to fart?

[B]

I used to jerk off to your pants and now I can't anymore. Cuz you've ruined it. But there's also the thing of, like,

[A]

jerk off to your pants.

[B]

No, because men who. Men are the ones that are mostly say, she ruined her face. Like, I hear men in my life who I love, who like, love women are. Feminists are like, God, what did she do to her face? She ruined it. I'm like, she's trying to stay hot for you. It didn't Go. Well, but I promise you, she's trying to. To keep her looks up for the patriarchy, not to use that, you know. You know, make it unalive or something. Whatever. You can't use that word on. You'll get demonetized, Right? I don't really think so. But, like, it is a. It's not a good word to throw out there if you want people to listen to you. But it's, like, true. Like, don't be mad at her. She's trying to look pretty.

[A]

And then you had this joke about when people who have been molested should have a separate boarding line at the airport.

[B]

They should board before veterans. I don't even think it's active service. But active service doesn't work. People just think. Think it's active. Or can veterans board? I don't think veterans get to board early, but for some reason, no one questions.

[A]

Oh, it's only active service.

[B]

It's active service, but active service isn't funny as veterans.

[A]

That's crazy.

[B]

I know. Because. But then it would be a little big group.

[A]

We're not.

[B]

They're not that giving.

[A]

I just wrote, we're now boarding Mosaic. Okay. Now molested.

[B]

Yes.

[A]

And then. And then I wrote get in the back, which is, like, kind of a really dark joke.

[B]

That is.

[A]

It's maybe too far.

[B]

Yes, it's too far, because the only reason that won't work for me there is because I want. I want to go. So I want to, like, be like, this is still in the part of the joke where I'm like, it's awesome. You were molest. Like, you survive something.

[A]

You get all like, no, of course. So you want to uplift. But I do it.

[B]

But then I. I do throw a little jab later on. That's just like, a dumb molestation joke. But that's a perfect kind. It's just too early because I'm trying to gain their trust. Like, what happened when they were on the phone.

[A]

Did you. Have you been doing the Wiggles? No. Meet and greet line.

[B]

Yes, every time. And I love it because I get to. You gave me that line. And I won't. We'll. You'll see it in the special. But I love it because it's just like. It's. It's actually like a third tag. Like, they don't see it coming. And it's just one more. That's just, like. It's great.

[A]

You have a great line, which is. People are nicer to you when you're symmetrical.

[B]

Yeah. Because I'm Trying to figure out how

[A]

to say, but also to your point earlier, when it's true, it's true, then what are you gonna do? Your. That's your experience of life.

[B]

It's not even my experience.

[A]

People are nicer to me when I'm symmetrical.

[B]

I experience it for sure. But I also have proof. I looked into studies that prove people make more money when they're attractive, they have better lives, they like. It is. Honestly, that's a whole other thing. Like, I really want to make a whole section about ugly people and how they are discriminated people. People who are asymmetrical or who like jarring to look at. It's really hard to talk about it because people go, that's so mean. But it's like. It's not mean. It's literally what their face is. It's not symmetrical. Equals harmonious and like of nature, you know, and things that aren't make you kind of go, oh, it doesn't mean you're a bad person. It just means you were born with an abnormality. Which is fine.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

But you get treated worse. And it's worse discrimination than any of the discriminations in the workplace. And so they. It actually is. Like, once I looked into it, I was like, no, I need to like, shout out to ugly people. And by the way, I could become an ugly person. It's like I could get disfigured in some kind of accident that would make me make people, like, scared to work with me or look at me. And so it's like, it needs. And I'm gonna get old. Which equals less symmetrical, just like less vibrant, less ovulating. And so thus, I don't want to say ugly, but not as pleasing to the eye.

[A]

Sure.

[B]

And so that's gonna befall all of us.

[A]

You go adopted kids.

[B]

Oh, yeah.

[A]

May have. May have more than dog love.

[B]

Yeah. I mean, it's. It's a. No, it's not me. They definitely do. But like, it's a point about adopting. Yeah, no, that. That's about. About how, like, I don't want to have kids and I. If I don't want them now, I'll probably like, age out and need. If I want to. If I change my mind later, I'll have to adopt, which I think will be easier because I don't. You don't love them as much. And then people groan, but they know it's true. And. And it's not a bad thing to say. It's more than dog love. And everyone would argue, like, dog love Is huge.

[A]

Dog love's huge.

[B]

It's. It's so huge.

[A]

Here's what I wrote down. Definitely more than plants.

[B]

Yes. Yes. Well, there is a hierarchy. But wait a second, let me. There was a bit I wanted to work on. Has it been done before? Of like when I wrote.

[A]

I wrote Azaleas, golden retriever, Adopted kids.

[B]

Your kids just kids in general?

[A]

Yeah, yeah. Kids in general. Your kids.

[B]

So you love adopted kids less than just the idea of kids?

[A]

Yeah, yeah.

[B]

I like the idea of a hierarchy.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

But do you. Did you have a dog before you had a kid? Did you and your kids.

[A]

When I was a kid, but then we had cats.

[B]

You had cats?

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

I want to write a bit about when and I think it's like, well, trod territory, but I don't know that there's been a stand up bit about how like when people have kids, they like their dogs that they used to have an Instagram for that was the center of their life. Like dies of neglect within two weeks. Like what People hate their dog that they want. Like, my friends are like, I literally hate my dog because they have a baby.

[A]

This is crazy.

[B]

It's so funny. But I'm like, Because I love my dog. It's enough for me. But it is interesting to me that like, even my friends who love their dog more than I even love my dog.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

Are like, where is she? I don't know where she is. She's so matted hair. I barely look at her. I don't even want to be. She smells bad to me. And they used to like cuddle all night. It changes because.

[A]

So funny.

[B]

New love comes in. You're.

[A]

Which part is wrong? Which part is wrong?

[B]

None of it.

[A]

I know.

[B]

All true. And yes, there's going to be times where it's not true.

[A]

But people get mad at you when they go, that's not true for me.

[B]

No.

[A]

No one gets mad like that.

[B]

I don't pause enough for people to heckle me.

[A]

My. Here's my main thing on your hour, which is like, like my favorite thing in your last hour is the. Is the. Is the thing where your. Your boyfriend role plays a gang bang for you.

[B]

So glad you liked that.

[A]

So funny. But I think I love it because it's a story and I get who you are. I get who he is and I get the dynamic between you. I love you as a couple because he does this thing for you.

[B]

Yes.

[A]

About this really extreme thing about you. Right.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

And I feel like I want more of that in this hour.

[B]

Like I'm just like, you want more Mike Birbiglia.

[A]

I know, but. And I. You've accused me of this before. As friends, we're like, we like what we do. No, we like each other's act, but we also.

[B]

We want to see potential.

[A]

We see potential. No, but it's so funny. You've said this to me before. You're where you're like. People always give advice of like the thing they do.

[B]

I do it too, though.

[A]

I know. And then it's like.

[B]

And I get so mad, I go, why don't. Why aren't they doing what I do? It's like. Cause it's not their style. But actually that I don't do what you do because I'm scared of it.

[A]

No, but even if you.

[B]

It's like the crowd work thing, like telling stories, I've just never did it. I started out as a one liner comic. It's only like, because I've written enough jokes about one thing that I ever even produce a story out of it.

[A]

I'm begging you to go to the Cellar and on stage, tell the story as you remember it of your guy friend taking you to like an all girls cool party. I'm telling you, Mike, I'm begging you.

[B]

I'm telling you right now. I know what will happen and there'll be a few punchlines, but I will be too nervous because it's such a departure from how I perform that if I was maybe on a storytelling show and someone was asking me about it and I can get there, but I need to know where the punches are. I couldn't just be like, let me just work this out.

[A]

Here's my theory on people who tell jokes but don't do.

[B]

But maybe I'll trust.

[A]

Well, I just think all you need is a beginning and an end. As long as the audience knows there's an end, they're like, okay, this will be fine. Need a beginning and end and then like two jokes in between.

[B]

That's really great advice.

[A]

Just throw it up there and just see what happens. Because fundamentally you're funny in your bones and it will be funny. And then the next time you do it, you'll have three punchlines. The next time you do, you'll have four punchlines. And that'll be a fucking story. It'll be in your special.

[B]

Okay, that's really good advice because it's having a. As long as I know where I'm going and I have an out, because I think that's what. Of course that's the right way to do it, but I never thought of it that way. And that's, that's great advice.

[A]

I just had a couple jokes that I was like, oh, I, these are, these are up, up your alley. And also made me your special. Made me think of some of these jokes that I'd written, which is if my wife had sex with someone else, I would be fine with it as long as she told me something annoying about the guy.

[B]

Yes, yes. If you could gossip afterwards.

[A]

Yeah. If she was like, I slept with this guy and it was great, but he was so dumb and I'd be like, that's my girl.

[B]

Yes, that's my point. I don't care if my boyfriend hooks up with other girls because I know I'm cooler. I have that self esteem in terms of that part of our relationship and as long as. But you can't talk about me to her.

[A]

Yes, yes.

[B]

My thing is like, that's the cheating. That or the full cheat. The cheating is don't watch White Lotus with her. Oh, you can do whatever you want physically, but you do not watch the new love on the spectrum.

[A]

That's pretty deep actually what you're saying.

[B]

I think physical. It's like someone else cooking you a meal for you. I don't care if I cook for

[A]

you every night you watch your show.

[B]

Even by someone else, it's like, yeah, you would rather be alone than with. It's like it's, it hurt. It's so hurtful.

[A]

And then the tag of that is because the least fun part of an affair is you can't tell anyone. That's why the most fun part is telling your husband. And if he doesn't kill you, it'll make the marriage stronger.

[B]

Yes, I've thought of that before. Like I, I actually am into my boyfriend having a girlfriend. If we could like, I wouldn't care if he could juggle both of us.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

And I, but as long as you complain about it to me and like I get to hear about it.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

What was your other point there?

[A]

The least fun part of an affair is you can't tell anyone.

[B]

Yes. It's, it's fun to talk when you're falling in love with someone. It's really fun to talk about and it's gotta be. That's why, that's why guys, guys that cheat or women that cheat always get busted because they will find a way to talk about their secretary to their wife in a different way. Just like, oh, that she. Oh, and this girl said this funny thing to like They'll. That's a way to. You think someone's. It's a tell. They'll. Just because they are dying to talk about their crush, because it's in all of us to do that. So that's a tell.

[A]

Ooh. Okay. So then I have this I thought was interesting in relation to all of your animal activism stuff is I. The. I was writing about the ethics of porn and how I don't support the ethics of how porn is made, but to me, it's kind of like the ethics of eating meat. It's like, I've watched all the documentaries about the meat industry, but I also love fried chicken sandwiches, and I believe that those contradictions can coexist peacefully. And I think they're going to have to, because I don't think people are going to stop eating fried chicken sandwiches while watching porn.

[B]

Okay. I like where that comes around. And I actually. I love that argument because it's the way I feel about porn. It's like, I stopped eating meat. I didn't want to stop eating meat. I love it, but I stopped because I saw the truth. But why isn't it working for porn? If I watch a documentary about how grim this is? And the difference is women can talk and like, oh, my God, ask for help. Oh, my God, your chicken can't.

[A]

That is dark as hell.

[B]

And that brings us back to parrots. Parrots are the only bird that doesn't get eaten because it talks about, if animals could talk, we wouldn't eat them.

[A]

That's a good point.

[B]

And that's why people are like, why do you care so much about animals and not about people? And I'm like, people, at least I hate human suffering, but at least people can, like, understand what's happening to them. It really hurts me to think of an animal being like, I don't know, and I'm scared. Like, that breaks my heart. It's like they're kids, you know, they don't have words for it. And it's like, it's. Animals, to me are like babies in that way that they can't express the fear or pain. And it's like, yeah. And they don't because we eat them because they're dumb. But because they're dumb, it makes it so much more heartbre. Heartbreaking that they don't understand their situation. They can't even be like, I'm unlucky. They're just like, life is hell. Like, every. From the moment they're born, they're like, and then they die. And then you eat that pain.

[A]

I think that that could be an hour.

[B]

I want to. That's my. My biggest goal is having a really strong vegan message. Like, I do a little bit on stage where I'm like. And I just, like, go vegan. Like, it's not only good for the world, but, like, I just feel better than you.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

I just, like, I'm a better person. Like, it didn't land. I feel better than you. I just. I feel like I'm better than you. I don't know how to phrase it, but it's true. Like, you know, there's always one vegan. I go, you know you're a good person. Right. Cause you're vegan. Like, it gives you this grounding of, like, you meat and cheese are delicious. I'm doing a hard thing because it's the right thing. So I get to, like, always be like, I'm good. And then I get to watch porn. That's, you know, being horrible to women and feel, like, bad about that. But at least I'm a vegan.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

And because we are. Right.

[A]

Yeah. My joke. My other joke about the ethics of porn is like, I sometimes feel guilty if I watch porn, but then I'm like, well, they already filmed it.

[B]

You're so right. It's. You didn't. That's the same with, like, when people are like, I'm so sorry I'm eating this in front of you. I'm like, it's already dead. I mean, I don't care.

[A]

Yeah. Like, ship has sailed.

[B]

But I did sneak that vegan messaging in and I did shame everyone.

[A]

I love that.

[B]

Like, a true vegan.

[A]

I think it's gonna be an hour.

[B]

It's gonna be.

[A]

It's gonna be a vegan hour. Meatless.

[B]

Can you think of a worse title than plant based comedy?

[A]

Plant based comedy.

[B]

It would have negative views.

[A]

The last thing we do is working out for a cause. Is there a nonprofit that you like to give to and we will link to them in the show notes and contribute? Yes.

[B]

Thank you so much. It is called Rescue the birds, and it is a avian rescue organization that I won money for when I did who wants to be a Millionaire?

[A]

Oh, wow.

[B]

And I got them $100,000. And it was just like, for birds. And we went to go. I went to go visit, and it's just like a two. This couple living out of a house with so many parrots to take care of between the two of them. And it was this whole rescue operation in the suburbs of Chicago for Parrots, because they're often an animal people get without understanding how much care they take and how they're not. They're wild animals. They're not really domesticated. And then these all so many birds are abandoned. And everyone's like, not everyone, but people give to cats and dogs. But I think, think it's nice to focus on birds because birds are so smart. These birds talk and then they're abandoned and they're supposed to fly and they're in cages. It's fucking brutal if you think about it. There should be no new birds bought ever. It should end. Breeding should end now. They're stolen out of, like, nests in the rainforest. Babies are stolen and they spend their lives in prison. At least your dog has the yard. Your bird seems happy because it's as happy as it could be in that condition. But it's like, I love birds and love them as pets, but I would never buy a new bird. And you can only rescue. So this is a place that just does it right.

[A]

We will link to them in the show notes, we'll contribute and thank you for coming on and you're the captain of comedy.

[B]

It feels so good to finally like. It feels like captain of the pep club or captain of the cheerleading squad was not even an option in high school. So it feels really good. Thank you.

[A]

Working it Out. Cause it's not done. We're working it out. That's gonna do it for another episode of Working it Out. Nikki Glaser is on tour now. Get tickets@nikki glazer.com follow her on Instagram at Nikki Glazer. You can watch the full video of this episode on our YouTube channel @Mike Birbiglia. Check that out and subscribe. We are posting more and more stuff. Check out Brabigas.com to sign up for the mailing list. To be the first to know about my upcoming shows, our producers of Working it out are myself, along with Peter Salamone, Joseph Birbigli and Mabel Lewis. Associate producer Gary Simons. Sound mix by Shub Saren supervising engineer, Kate Balinsky. Special thanks to Jack and Enough and Bleachers for their music. Special thanks as always to my wife, the poet J. Hope Stein, and our daughter Una, who built the original radio fort made of pillows. Thanks most of all to you who are listening. If you enjoy this show, do us a favor and rate us on Apple podcasts. It really helps. Thanks most of all to you who listen. Tell your friends, tell your enemies, tell your vegan friends. Next time they ask you to try going vegan. Make them a deal. Say, I'll try going vegan for one full week. If you listen to both Nikki Glaser Working it out episodes, I go vegan. You listen to Working It Out. In a week, we'll meet up for tofu. Thanks, everybody. We're working it out. We'll see you next time.