Present Fathers Founder Randy Keith

Summary

Mike Force Podcast — "Present Fathers Founder Randy Keith" (Mar 16, 2026)

Episode Overview

In this emotionally raw and candid episode of the Mike Force Podcast, host Mike Glover sits down with Randy Keith, founder of Present Fathers—a platform advocating reform in the family court system and supporting fathers facing high-conflict divorces or custody battles. Randy shares his powerful personal journey, the systemic challenges men face, and why honest conversations about fatherhood, mental health, and legal challenges are so vital. The discussion offers practical advice, exposes injustices and systemic biases in family law, and gives hope and actionable guidance to fathers (and mothers) enduring similar experiences.

---

Key Discussion Points & Insights

1. The Taboo of Men's Emotional Struggles (00:08–02:25)

• Mike Glover opens with gratitude for Randy’s openness and the value of talking candidly about male emotional health and struggles.
• Randy acknowledges the stigma men face in discussing personal issues, especially struggles at home:

  "A lot of people are scared to say the things that I'm saying... because they kind of want people to be silenced on these topics. It's kind of taboo when you think about it." (01:09)

• Community response to Present Fathers is overwhelmingly positive, providing lifelines to men who feel isolated.

2. Randy’s Personal Story: Divorce, Crisis, & Survival (02:25–14:15)

• Military & Police Background: Randy details marrying young in the Navy, transitioning to police work, and enduring an 11-year marriage marred by his wife’s alcoholism and mental health crises.
• Crisis and Recording for Safety: Recounts situations where he had to record his wife’s actions to protect himself from false accusations.
• Systemic Bias:

  "She should have been arrested for domestic violence. Statutes in Arizona say if there's an act of domestic violence, an arrest shall happen... But I can't tell you what to do in this instance." (05:22)

• Double standard: If genders were reversed, the law would be enforced far stricter.
• Legal & Emotional Ordeal: Went through restraining orders, supervised visitation, and repeated violations by his ex, all while being treated with suspicion by his own colleagues in law enforcement.

3. Family Court Dysfunction & Financial Strain (14:16–21:10)

• "Boomer Mentality" in Courts: Courts lag behind changing family roles—old attitudes penalize fathers.
• Financial Gatekeeping: High cost of litigation locks fathers out of their kids’ lives:

  "Fathers are getting priced out of their kids' lives... Their children are not in their lives because they can't afford to pay to have them in their lives." (17:01)

• Incentives in the System: Federal laws (Title 4D) incentivize states to break up families for financial gain.
• System Profit Motive:

  "...these attorneys are making a killing...then you've got all these expert witnesses and all these things that cost money... Every state is making a lot of money off of child support. It's a huge revenue generator." (18:35–19:41)

4. CPS, False Allegations, and Child Welfare System Flaws (21:10–26:22)

• Weaponized Bureaucracy: False abuse allegations are routinely used in custody battles, traumatizing families.
• CPS can interview children at school without parental knowledge, sometimes based on flimsy or spun accusations.
• No Recourse for False Claims:

  "If you have false allegations brought against you and they are unfounded, there's no punishment for it. There's no consequence whatsoever." (25:42)

• These processes traumatize both children and parents.

5. Surviving High Conflict Divorce: Strategies for Fathers (26:23–32:49)

• Gaslighting and Legal Tactics: Randy describes realizing he was being gaslit, did research on personality disorders, and learned to minimize emotional reactions for survival.
• Advice:

  "Don't react. Keep your messages simple. Yes or no. If it's not about the kids...don't reply." (28:49)

• Many men lose parental rights because they fall for emotional traps or lack system knowledge.

6. Unethical Practices in Family Law (32:50–33:08)

• Some attorneys, Randy claims, actively coach clients to initiate false charges for legal advantage.
• Bar associations rarely discipline bad actors:

  "...the bar associations need to really start holding these attorneys accountable... Both parties should have ethical representation." (31:55–32:49)

7. Founding Present Fathers: From Personal Pain to Public Advocacy (33:09–38:00)

• Began as personal therapy, recording himself after dropping off his kids.
• Discovered a large community of men with similar silent struggles:

  "I started really getting into helping these people connect with other people that are going through the same thing so that they're not feeling like they're alone." (34:12)

• Grief of Divorce: Trauma from high-conflict divorce likened to a terminal cancer diagnosis.
• Stigma-breaking: It’s okay for men to seek help and talk about depression and struggle.

8. Societal Double Standards and Media Coverage (38:00–39:16)

• Discusses public reactions when mothers vs. fathers commit crimes against children; highlights dangerous cultural biases that overlook or rationalize maternal violence but demonize men.

• "When a man does it, the comment threads are: he's a monster... when [a woman] murdered her children... every single one of them were saying, what did the husband do?" (38:12–39:15)

9. Mission & Structure of Present Fathers (39:16–43:54)

• Services: Offers affordable coaching, connects men to support.
• Advocacy: Collaborates with Mark Ludwig and Rob Garza to promote legislative reform, especially federal Title 4D changes and "equal shared parenting" as legal default.
• Content Creation: Guides others to share their stories to raise awareness.

10. The Long Road to Change: Policy and Public Attitudes (43:54–47:32)

• Legislation for 50/50 shared custody gaining slow traction; deep systemic inertia and cultural resistance.
• Men lack advocacy structures women have in government.

11. What Keeps Randy Going (47:33–49:03)

• Support from community—saved lives and real thank-yous keep him motivated:

  "People reaching out: Hey, I was about to take my life and I seen one of your videos... I’m still here." (47:36)

• The gravity of being a lifeline for desperate fathers.

12. The Ongoing Journey and Honest Outcomes (49:04–52:23)

• Future Plans: Expanding to podcasting and wider platforms.
• Personal Situation: Candidly admits his own co-parenting situation remains very challenging, but he persists for his children’s sake and to help others:

  "Everything that I've learned throughout this is only going to help other people. So if I can use my platform to help other people, that's what I want to do." (51:21)

13. Last Words & Advice for Struggling Fathers (52:24–53:19)

• Randy’s Final Advice:

  "Take one more step... Tomorrow’s a new day. Keep walking forward... If everything you do is for your kids, you’re going to be okay." (52:39)

---

Notable Quotes & Memorable Moments

• On family court bias:

  "If a female went in there and said, 'Hey, my husband... was getting into a gun safe with the kids in the house,' there'd be a SWAT team." (14:48 – Randy)

• On the pain of high-conflict divorce:

  "Still, the worst thing that ever happened to me was getting divorced and going through a high conflict divorce." (36:47 – Randy)

• On changing the script:

  "I want them to be seen and... to know people see you, and people are working to make changes happen." (35:58 – Randy)

• On why he continues:

  "As long as I can do this, I'm going to keep doing it. If. Because I'm saving lives. We're saving lives." (47:36 – Randy)

• On tactical advice:

  "Don't react. Keep your messages simple. Yes or no. If it's not about the kids... don't reply." (28:50 – Randy)

---

Key Timestamps for Important Segments

• [00:08]–[02:25] – Introduction and why men need these conversations
• [02:25]–[14:15] – Randy’s marriage, divorce, and police/law system bias
• [14:16]–[21:10] – Outdated court attitudes; financial burdens on fathers
• [21:10]–[26:22] – CPS, false allegations, and system abuses
• [26:23]–[32:49] – Surviving high-conflict divorce; emotional control tactics
• [32:49]–[33:08] – Unethical legal practices & lack of accountability
• [33:09]–[38:00] – Origins and mission of Present Fathers
• [38:00]–[39:16] – Double standards in parental violence
• [39:16]–[43:54] – Coaching, advocacy work, legal reform efforts
• [43:54]–[47:32] – Men's lack of governmental advocates, the need for unity
• [47:33]–[49:03] – Being a lifeline for struggling fathers
• [49:04]–[52:23] – Personal co-parenting update; the reality of ongoing struggle
• [52:24]–[53:19] – Closing advice for men in crisis

---

Conclusion

This episode is a powerful, unvarnished look into the lived reality of many divorced fathers—emotionally, legally, and culturally. Randy Keith’s journey from personal chaos to activism shines a light on systemic injustices and reinforces the need for open dialogue, legal reforms, and accessible resources for men. The episode underscores the importance of continuing to step forward, seeking help, and prioritizing children's wellbeing above all, even in the face of a deeply flawed system.

---

Further Resources

• Present Fathers (Randy Keith)
• Mark Ludwig (Equal Shared Parenting)
• Robert Garza (Father’s Rights Advocacy)

For men in crisis:
Don’t hesitate to reach out to supportive communities or seek professional help—“take one more step, one day at a time.”

Transcript

[A]

Foreign.

[B]

Hey, what's going on, guys? Welcome back to the Mike Force podcast. Got a special guest, Randy, from Present Fathers. Yes, sir, Present Fathers. I'll tell you this, Randy not knowing this, because we never talked about this in advance, has helped me a lot through my personal situation. The things that he's talking about that not a lot of men want to talk about. And it's been a huge help for me emotionally just to, like, down, regulate. He just did a video the other day about kind of down regulating the nervous system, being calm, stable, and, man, I, oh, dude, if it wasn't for you and Rob Garza on social media, and I just talked to Rob last week, doing what you do because of the experiences you've been through, I think a lot of fathers would be in a world of hurt right now.

[A]

So thank, thank you for, for what you do. Yeah, man, it's been, it's been incredible. Just, you know, being able to make a difference, right? After being something, Being through something like this personally and then being able to make a difference in this community. And just like you said, you know, helping you. I get, you know, thousands of messages. People are like, hey, thanks for having the balls to say this, because a lot of people are scared to say, say the things that I'm saying or the things that Rob's saying or Mark Ludwig saying things like that, because, you know, there's a lot of pushback on it, right? Because they kind of want, they kind of want people to be silenced on these topics. And it's kind of taboo when you think about it. People, people don't want to talk about what they got going on at home, right? Because we want to be perfect. Right? And so it's, it's been, it's been really special to, to, to be able to help people in the space and, and get information out to people. And I appreciate you bringing me on here. I really do.

[B]

Yeah, it's huge, man. I, I, A lot of guys hit me up and were like, thank God for having Randy on because he's such a good dude and he's helped me through my personal situation. And they're, like, so stoked about it. I mean, I have, you know, SEAL Team six operators that were on the bin Laden raid, and they're more excited about you because they're like, I get some perspective and some insight to how this works.

[A]

Right.

[B]

Randy, tell, tell me about, like, how you got your background and how you got into this and how this thing evolved into what it is today.

[A]

Yeah. So, you know, I got married When I was in the military, I was in the Navy. Got married, right? Got married too fast, like a lot of people in the military do, right? Ended up getting out of the military, became a police officer. I was married for about 11 years. 11 or 12 years. And then she started drinking heavily. And when I say heavily, I'm talking about like a gallon of vodka a night. Heavy. And so, you know, I don't know if you've ever been lectured by somebody that's drunk, right? But we're laying in bed one night and she's, she's been doing this for months, just lecturing me over and over, and she goes, I think we should get divorced. And at this point I was done. So I was like, yeah, that's probably a good idea. So the next day I filed. And then we had to co habitat, right? So we both had to live in the house until we could get through our case. During that time, she was, you know, it was complete hell for me and my kids having to live like that. And then one night she, she said, I'm gonna, I'm gonna go blow my brains out. And she, she heads towards the gun safe. Now mind you, I'm recording everything because I know how things can get twisted in this system, right?

[B]

Are you a police officer at the time?

[A]

Yeah, yeah. Oh, okay. Police officer at the time. So I'm recording. She's, she heads the gun safe and I follow her. I'm not, I'm not going to let the mother of my children, you know, harm herself. So I head behind her and I step in front of her in the gun safe. And I just put my arms out like this, like, hey, no, we're not doing this. And she starts hitting me, trying to push me to get in the gun safe. So I call the police, right? Which, where I'm a police officer. It's a small town, right? So super embarrassing. Like, know everybody that shows up, like, it's terrible, but I know that she's going to try and twist it, right? Say that I abused her, I was pushing her, stuff like that. I know that's coming. So I'm on the phone with the 911 operator and she's like, okay, you know, we got, we got, we got help on the way. They'll be there in a minute. And she's act like she's going to hang up. And I said, no, no, no, I said, please stay on the line. I want this recorded so that, you know, I don't end up in trouble here. So she stays on the line. Officers arrive now, they end up taking her to the hospital. Right. Because she's having these suicidal ideations, what probably should have happened, and I think if the roles were reversed, would have happened. She should have been arrested for domestic violence. Right. Because statutes in Arizona say if there's an act of domestic violence, an arrest shall happen. Yeah.

[B]

What, Somebody's going to jail, Right, Right.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

And she made contact with you, obviously.

[A]

Right, exactly. And so, you know, they asked me, they're like, hey, you're like, are you. Are you wanting her to go to jail? And I just look at them and I say, hey, like, you guys do your job. Like, you know, I don't want to be involved in this. Like, you know, I. You guys do what you got to do. I said, but, you know, I. I don't want any special treatment here. Nothing like that. You just do what you got to do. I said, I don't want the mother of my children to go to jail. Right. I absolutely don't want that. That can affect career later down the road, housing, and these are all things that are going to affect my children. But I can't tell you what to do in this instance. You guys got to make this call.

[B]

Is this your own department?

[A]

No, it's a neighboring department. But. But I mean, we work with these guys all the time. Yeah. And so they sent. They end up sending her to the hospital probably two hours later. Right. She's blowing up my phone. Hey, I'm on my way to the house. And I'm like, what. What do you mean you're on the way to the house? Yeah, I'm. I'm on my way. So I'm scrambling, I'm grabbing my kids, I'm grabbing things, and I, And I. And I leave the house because I don't want the confrontation that's about to happen in front of my kids. That. And she already. She was trying to get in a gun safe. So I called the hospital and I'm like, hey, like, you guys are releasing her. Like, she literally was just trying to get into a gun safe. And she said, I'm gonna blow my brains out. Like, what's going on here? Why. Why is this happening? And they say, well, you know, we can't give you any information. Hipaa, which I get. I'm not looking for information. I'm just letting you know, hey, this is what's happening. Like, was real. And then I kind of get the vibe from the nurse that she thinks that I'm trying to manipulate her into keeping. Right. So I know that my ex has talked to the nurse at this point and flip things around. And I'm like, okay, that's. I. She's got to deal with herself, but I need to make sure my kids are protected. So I grabbed the kids, I leave, I go to my parents house and you know, she's blowing up the phone. Where's the kids? I want my kids. And I say, listen, like, I'm not trying to keep the kids from you, but I need you to take care of yourself and the stuff that you got going on. And then you can absolutely see the kids. But right now you're not in a good state of mind. I said, you know, we're at my parents, which is a small house, right? It's a tiny house and not, not really any room for me and the kids. And I'm like, if you could just leave for a little bit so that I can come home with the kids and we can, you know, work this out later, that'd be great. She refused to leave. She refused to leave the house. So what ended up happening is I ended up getting a. It's called a Title 36 in Arizona.

[B]

What.

[A]

Basically what it is, it's a mental health petition, right? To get her involuntarily committed because she was having these suicidal ideations. So she ends up, I end up getting that through and she ends up getting the help that she needs, right? So the police department, same police department shows up to the house and takes her to this mental health facility.

[B]

And this is not voluntary. She's being told, you have to go.

[A]

Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. No, no. She's being told, hey, you have to go. Like, yeah, there's no fans or buts about it. So I'm sitting there as, as a man, right? And I'm going, okay, what, what do I do right now? Like, my, she's. She's still my wife at the time. We're not divorced yet. She's in a mental health facility. I got two kids, they're dependent on me. I've never been in a situation like this, but I know, you know, the hospital just released her after two hours because she's manipulative, right? So she's manipulating people. And I go, okay, well, this mental health facility, what happens if they let her out, right? So I'm like, she's gonna come back here and then me and my kids, you know, what are we gonna do? How am I going to protect them from her? Because she's not in, in the right, you know, state of mind now, mind you. Let me back up a little bit. She. She attempted to kill herself a few years prior to this. Overdosing on medication, and she was in a coma for a week. So, like, when she says she's gonna do something, like, I have nothing to believe that she won't.

[B]

She's got a track record of it.

[A]

Right? Right. So, you know, I changed the. The combo on the gun safe so that, you know, that's good if she gets out and she ends up calling me from that place. And it's the same thing. Like, hey, when I get out, I'm coming back, you know, get ready is what she said. And I'm like, man. So I go get an order protection, right? Going through the right steps, right? I'm doing everything right. Okay, we're gonna do everything by the book here. I go get an order protection. It gets granted. I get emergency custody of the kids. So everything's good. She gets out. She ends up getting supervised visitation of the kids, which her. One of her family members step and said, hey, I'll be the supervisor. Which I was good with them because they're good people. And I was like, okay, you know, I'm not trying to keep the kids from her. Like, my kids need a relationship with their mom, so she's doing supervised visits. Well, my kids come home and they're like, hey, we met, so. And so some guy, we went over to his house, and I'm like, what the. Like, how does that work on supervised visitation? You're going to some random guy's house? So I call her aunt. I'm like, hey, what happened? Like, why are they telling me this? And she's like, yeah, I'm. I'm livid. She left when I was taking a nap with the kids, and she said, I'm sorry, Randy. I'm not. I'm not doing it anymore because I'm not dealing with her, and I'm not going to be liable. So that ends up ending. Now, this. This is where I up, Mike. We went back to court, and I was trying to be the nice guy, right? Trying to make sure that I can look my kids in the eye down the road and say, hey, I gave your mom every opportunity to be good and to be a good role model and be in your life because you

[B]

wanted them to be in their life.

[A]

Yeah, absolutely.

[B]

Despite the suicidal ideation that she needed to work through, you wanted them to have a place in their.

[A]

Absolutely. And so what ended up happening is my attorney was, you know, he's like, well, you know, we can kind of settle out of court if you want. And her attorney was like, yeah, we could do that.

[B]

And.

[A]

Right. 50. 50. Right. That's what. I think. That's what everyone shoots for, right?

[B]

At least every man I've known.

[A]

Like, 50. 50 is what we're obligated to. Yeah, like, 50. 50. I mean, and that's so much better than a lot of people have it, right? Yeah. They're seeing their kids every other week. They're not seeing, you know, supervised visitation, two hours. Two hours a week, maybe two hours a month. And so I'm like, yeah, 50. 50. And my attorney's like, hey, come here. Like, I want to talk to you. He's like, you're in the driver's seat right now. He's like, you can absolutely, like, make it to where she has supervised visitation or she'll have him every other weekend. And he said, I think you should do that. And I said. I said, sean. His name's Sean. I said, sean, I. I need to look my kids in the eye later down the road, and I need to be able to tell them I gave their mom an opportunity. I think that's important. And he said, I. He said, you're a good guy, but I don't know why you're doing it. So that's what we did.

[B]

You proposed 50?

[A]

50. Yep, I proposed 50 50. And obviously they took that. Right. Because her attorney knew that, you know, she was getting a good deal, and I ended up paying alimony. Right. And so now during this time, she's violating this order of protection I have against her. Constantly arrested in custody, arrest three times. And so I'm constantly having to call the police, the people that I work with. It's so. And it's embarrassing. And it's almost like it was worse for me to be a police officer.

[B]

Oh, yeah.

[A]

Because they didn't want to show any favoritism. Right? Yeah. And I. And I would tell them, hey, just treat me like a regular citizen. And. Because they were treating me worse than they would like a regular citizen. Right. And so I'm just like, no, no. Like, just treat me like a regular citizen, you know? And so punish me. Yeah. So I'm having to go to their superiors and be like, hey, like, this is like, you guys aren't helping me out with this situation. And, like, I know I'm a big guy, right? I understand that. I know how to take care of myself. But, you know, what if she ends up meeting some guy, right? And she fills his head full of. And then I end up Getting killed. Like, you guys need to enforce this order protection. And so, you know, they ended up enforcing it, but I really had to fight for it because of you being a police officer or maybe you also being a man. Oh, absolutely. Being a man.

[B]

Because they're like, oh, you're, you're being a, because you, you have to deal with a woman.

[A]

It's like, yeah, yeah, but you're following

[B]

the letter of the law as per your profession, but also what you would have to do to prove later that you were doing all the right things.

[A]

Right.

[B]

So yeah, if you give her any leeway initially or along the way, that's going to be used against you later on.

[A]

Oh yeah, absolutely it will be. And, and in fact, when I got the order protection against her, you know, this is after she tried to get in a gun safe with the kids in the house and all the stuff. And I go, and I'm trying to get more protection and the judge goes, he looks at me and he goes, do you think you really need it? And, and you know, and this isn't sexist or anything against women or anything, but if a female went in there and said, hey, my husband, my boyfriend, so, and so was getting into a gun safe with the kids in the

[B]

house, there'd be a SWAT team.

[A]

Yeah. There's not going to be any judge that's going to ask her, well, do you really think you need it? Yeah. If you look at who judges are, right, and you look at the bigger picture here. So back in the day, right, men went to work, women stayed home with the kids, and when they got divorced, dad paid child support, dad seen his kids when he could, he was working and he was still basically supporting that person until they got married. Right. And so you look at who judges are, they're predominantly older people and so they're kind of stuck in that, that mindset and this generation, right, so you got millennials and Gen Z and all that stuff like that. They want to be a part of their kids lives. If they're, if they're a male or female, they want to be a part of their kids lives. That's, that's what's happening culturally. And the system's got to change with the times. It's interesting. It's no longer men don't want to be a part of it. Not that they ever didn't want to be a part of their kids lives, but that's kind of how everybody was raised, right? You know, dad went to work, mom stayed home with the kids. And in times that's changed. It's no longer that way. I mean, there's so many women that are breadwinners now and dad staying home with the kids. Right. And so our family court systems need to get with the times because. Because they're stuck in World War II, you know.

[B]

Yeah, that's a good point. That boomer mentality.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

Is, is really interesting because when I grew up and my mom and dad got divorced when I was very young, it was autumn, it was nearly automatic that you would go with a mom and then the dad would come and see you when he could see you. Maybe that's just how it is culturally. And then realize after talking to a lot of men subsequently that they all wanted to fight. Most of them wanted to fight. They just didn't have the money.

[A]

And that's a problem right there. Yeah, you. And you know, you know this as well as I do. If, if you don't have money to do this, I mean, you know, like, I'm blessed. Not that I'm rich, right? I'm a cop, like I don't have a lot of money, but I'm blessed to have been able to move things around, to have money, right. Like I had to file bankruptcy, like, you know, go completely broke and go all in. But there's people that don't even have that option to go to, you know, file bankruptcy and liquidate any assets that they do have. And so that's another thing. You know, fathers are getting priced out, completely priced out of their kids lives. It. They are being. Their children are not in their lives because they can't afford to pay to have them in their lives. And it's, it's so wrong. It is so wrong.

[B]

Sad.

[A]

Yeah, it is. You know, I, I just couldn't imagine being that person where, you know, I'm barely squeaking by, right? I'm working at, let's say I'm working at, you know, a factory or something and I'm making 15 bucks an hour. And I come home and you know, my wife's like, hey, got a new guy and we're getting divorced. And then the next thing you know, you know, he's, she's calling the cops on him, he's getting arrested for bullshit DV charges and he's got, he served with the TRO or an order protection, whatever state you're in, call it different. But, you know, and then you're kicked out of your house and you're homeless and you're, you're making 15 bucks an hour. Go hire an attorney. With, with 15 bucks an hour. You know what I mean?

[B]

Do you think that's a. As, as you've went through this process, there's obviously a lot that you've identified people know that's broken in the system. Is money, monetary gain, a big component for lawyers, the litigation system, cps. Is that what the, the main driving factor is? Why is it so broken?

[A]

Yeah, yeah. I mean, think about it. So you have these attorneys, right, who are making a killing off of family court, and they don't want, they don't want where you settle out of court. Right. I mean, some do because, you know, you end up. They don't, they don't want to put the time in that's actually going to go into trial and stuff like that. And they're going to tell people to settle if they know they don't have the money to go to trial. Right. And so these, these attorneys are making a killing. Right. Then you got the gals, right. Who are making an absolute killing on this as well. Then you got all these, you know, expert witnesses and all these things that cost money.

[B]

Therapists.

[A]

Therapists, yeah. Psych evals, drug and alcohol screening, you know, and then, you know, you think about child support. Right. So a lot, not a lot of people know this, but title 4D, actually. So the federal government pays the states to enforce child support. Right. And it's 66 cents on the dollar. And so the state is these. Every state is making a lot of money off of child support. Yep. It's a huge revenue generator.

[B]

It's a racket. Yeah.

[A]

Yeah. And so, yeah, there's a lot of money in family court and there's a lot of people profiting off of it. And when you think about it, it's basically like, like child trafficking. Right. It's human trafficking with children because they're being farmed out into a system for profit. And it's wrong.

[B]

Yeah. Because there, there are incentives for taking the child out of the home from both parents, putting them in foster care, because there's a massive amount of money and especially in the extended life of a young child growing into an adult, to keep them in foster homes. I have friends that are in Arizona's CPS system and behavioral Health. And they, they said that it's nearly a racket because they get paid so much dollars by the federal government for every child that they pull in the name of, you know, the, the, the child safety or the needs of the children, but they're also being detrimentally affected by the impacts of foster care, period. Where the statistics are completely upside down.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

If you're in foster care, you are going to likely end up in jail after mental health issues, suicidal ideation, all the bad things. If you don't have your father, especially as a, as a boy, as a young man, 20 times more likely to end up in prison.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

And, and those statistics should be alarming because we should look at those and go, we don't want this end result by what this system does. But obviously that's not what happens.

[A]

No, it's all, it's all money. That's what I'm saying. It's human trafficking. And that's another thing, you know, with Child Protective Services. Different states call it different, but Basically, you know, CPS is what it is in Arizona. What's it here?

[B]

DCFS.

[A]

D.C. department of Child and Protective Services. Yeah. You know, and that, and that's another agency that, you know, I, I don't understand that either. I had false allegations of child abuse brought against me. Right. And so many other people that I've talked to, same thing. That's another tactic that's used in this is, okay, well, they're abusing the children. Now I'm going to get Child Protective Services involved. Right. And so in my case, Child Protective Services, you know, they went to the school and interviewed my kids without me knowing.

[B]

Yeah, my, my, you don't even get to know.

[A]

Yeah, my four year old daughter came home from preschool and said, hey dad, I talked to somebody today at school. Okay, well like kid or what, you know? No, it was, it was, it was another adult. Like a teacher? No, it was somebody else. So then my, her preschool teacher says, hey, yeah, you know, CPS came here today and talked to my daughter. And so I'm like, what the is going on? Like why, why is somebody talking to, to my child without me knowing? And I didn't know anything about that at the time, but I did some research and they can go to the school and talk to the children without the parents knowledge, which I understand because you know, there, there's instances of child abuse that they need to not be interfered with. But to me I was like, well, what are the allegations? So yeah, so I'm on the phone with, with cps, DCS at the time and I'm like, what's going on? Like what's being alleged? And the caseworker is like, well, I don't really know. And I'm like, what do you mean you don't know? You just went and interviewed my child. You just traumatized my child. Why? And you don't know what's going on? Or do you? Are you not just. You're just not telling me? And so come to find out what it was is my son, he got mosquito bites on his arm and he went to his mom's and. Or actually we so actually took my daughter or my son to the hospital. Not the hospital, but the doctor. Because I knew what was coming, Right. When you're in these high conflict situations, every little thing is going to be used against you. Every little thing. So he's got these mosquito bites. I'm like, this is going to be an issue. Take him to the doctor. Doctor's like, yeah, it looks like mosquito bites. Like, what do you want me to do? And I'm like, I just need you to look at it. And we're good.

[B]

Okay.

[A]

Well, the doctor puts in his notes, appears to be consistent with mosquito bites or bedbugs. So now.

[B]

Oh, my God.

[A]

Yeah. So now Child Protective Services, they're envisioning

[B]

your home like it's a log cabin. And then you got roaches crawling around and rats infested in your kids. Kids bedroom.

[A]

Right.

[B]

They're painting the narrative. They're about to write a work of fiction.

[A]

Exactly. Because my ex wife gets a hold of that and spends it. Oh, bedbugs, nasty house over there. And then she starts. It comes out of nowhere that I'm hitting my children. I'm hitting him in the head. Not just like spanking them. Like I'm hitting them in the head. Which I. I don't do that. Yeah, I don't do that. And so, you know, they're like, hey, well, we need to talk to you too. And I'm like, absolutely. Come talk to me. Come talk to me, please. They come to the house. Yeah, come on in. Come sit at the kitchen table here. Look at anything you want in this house. And by the end of that, they interviewed me and my fiance because she lives with me. And at the end of it, the CPS worker goes, hey, would you guys be interested in teaching parenting classes? And I'm well, no, but okay, what's going to happen to her now? Because this is obviously. So when you call CPS in Arizona, they tell you, you know, making a false allegation is punishable up to blah, blah, blah, whatever it is, it's a misdemeanor. And I'm like, okay, what's going to happen to her now? Let's do something about this, because this is. Yeah, I don't really know even know how to enforce that or who you'd go to to do it. And so that's another thing that needs to change. If you have false allegations brought against you and they are unfounded, there's no punishment for it. There's no consequence whatsoever. And you know what that does to a person. When your children are being investigated by Child protective Services, you're being investigated and nothing comes of it. It's completely traumatizing to not only the children, but to you as a person. And there's no recourse for that. There's. So people just keep doing it over and over and over. And it's classic. Classic. Across all divorce cases, high conflict divorce cases, that these things are happening.

[B]

Yeah. Before the divorce, before there was a fallout, a generated resentment and volatility in the relationship. There was no accusations up until the point that it became a division of relationship and assets and everything else.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

So it's used as a tactic. And then, I mean, Rob Garza told me that he had 43 different TROs and allegations and court appearances.

[A]

See, But I didn't know, like, and this is such an overused term, in my opinion, like a narcissist. Right. Everybody's a narcissist today. Right? Yeah.

[B]

In a volatile relationship, for sure.

[A]

Right. And I didn't really know what that meant. Right. Like, I'd hear, like, gaslighting and stuff. Like, I didn't really know anything about it, but it sure was being used against me. Right. Like, oh, he's a narcissist. He's gaslighting, you know? And I'm like, all right, what is this? So I start looking into it, and I'm like, holy. Like, I'm. I'm being gaslit on a. By a narcissist.

[B]

You're becoming the professor. You're like, oh, that's. That's what's being done to me.

[A]

Yeah. I'm like, oh, okay, this makes sense. Like, I see what's going on here. And so I started doing, like, a bunch of, like, research on, like, dealing with somebody. Because she's diagnosed bipolar. Right. Too. And I don't think I mentioned that. Like, she's. She's. I'm not just saying my ex wife is bipolar. Right. Like, yeah, no, like, she's diagnosed, like, clinically. Yeah, clinically. And so, like, I start doing, like, research on, like, you know, there's different personality disorders. Right. And then bipolar disorder. And I'm like, okay, everything's going to be an issue and everything's going to get spun back on me to where I'm the bad guy. I can live with that if my kids are okay. I don't care. Right. But what do I got to do to survive this and come out making sure that my kids are okay? And so what I realized through this research that I was doing is don't give them the reaction that they're looking for because everything's going to get spun. So no matter what you say, it really doesn't matter. So why are you trying to defend yourself to them? And a lot of people get caught up in that. And I get messages all the time. Hey, you know, like, I'm not a bad guy. I'm a good person. But I snapped. Like, and I'm not talking, like, physically snapped. Like, I, you know, I started screaming and yelling, and now I'm, you know, I got an order protection against me or, you know, things.

[B]

You sent a text message.

[A]

Text message. Right, right. And now, now how do I combat this? Because they're painting me out to be a. A villain, a really nasty person. And I'm not like that. And I get it. Like, people get to. To a bad spot, right? And you just, you snap, you know, and I'm not talking like you snap and you beat your wife or something like that. I'm talking like you raise your voice or, you know, you're so frustrated, you're trying to let people know that you're frustrated, and that's human nature, but it doesn't do you any good.

[B]

At the end of the day, an emotional reaction.

[A]

Emotional reaction does not do you any good. And that's what I'm telling, you know, the clients that I have and my followers is don't react. Don't react. Keep your messages simple. Yes or no. That's all you need. Yes or no. If it's not about the kids, if it's not going to affect anything, don't reply. Who cares what they say about you? All they're trying to do is get a reaction out of you to use in court against you. And a lot of people, I think if they would just realize that would be so much further ahead and they would probably still have their kids over. That simple tactic right there is.

[B]

Do you think that's a leak?

[A]

What I've.

[B]

What I've kind of recognized in the system is a lot of people who don't understand this. Like, when you got involved in this, you had no idea. You're learning from scratch, right?

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

A legal representative, an attorney is kind of guiding you along the process. I've talked to a lot of guys about this, where those men have been dragged through this process and the litigant that they're going against the person that's, that's, that has an attorney, that person's following the attorney's tactics. Those attorneys are bringing people along and going, hey, like let me show you how we do this here in this, in this firm.

[A]

Right. And if it, if it's an unethical attorney. Right, yeah, absolutely do that. You know, but my attorney, you know, he, he's not about that and that's why I like him. He's a, he's a good dude, he's a good stand up guy and he would never give me advice to do that to somebody. Right. But I know for a fact that there's attorneys out there that are telling people, hey, you know, if, if, if you want, you could probably do this and it probably really help your case. You know, you could, you could probably get this guy arrested and then you could probably get him kicked out of the house and then you would have the house and the kids too, if you want. You know, I'm not telling you what to do, but if you want.

[B]

Yeah, yeah. Prompting them.

[A]

And there's a lot of that going on too. And the bar associations, that's another, that's some other people that need to be, you know, they need to be looked at too because there's a lot of people that are making complaints to these bar associations. Right. And nothing's happening. They're saying, oh, that's just a bitter X. That's, you know, they're just, they're just, they're just reporting this because they're bitter they lost their case and stuff like that, which I'm sure happens. Yeah. But you guys need to start looking at, you know, really looking into the things that are going on that these attorneys are doing. You should be holding them to a higher standard because that's why you exist. That's why there is these bar associations, is to hold these attorneys accountable. And it's not happening because you could file, you could.

[B]

How does it work? You could file a bar complaint about any attorney via your state communicating about what you're seeing. That's unethical.

[A]

Right.

[B]

And then they have an obligation to look into an investigative.

[A]

Right. Just, just like if you're a police officer. Right. Yeah. And you, something gets, you know, reported to post, they have to look into that. Right?

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

And I feel like we're held to, we're a way higher standards than they're holding these attorneys to, you know, and that's another thing that, you know, I don't want to get off topic here, but I just something I thought about, that's another thing that happened to me. You know, I had, she went after my police officer certification right through the state, but yeah, back to that. Yeah. These bar associations need to really start holding these attorneys accountable and keeping things ethical. Because at the end of the day, that's all we want. Right? Both parties should have ethical representation and they shouldn't be guiding their clients to, you know, have people arrested, have false reports of child abuse. Because all you're doing is you're weighing down the system at that point. And you're hurting children and you're hurting fathers and you're hurting mothers. And at the end of the day, those are the things that need to stop.

[B]

As you're living through this experience in real time, you're accumulating all the data points and all the experiences that are going to help father's period. Is that what got you? I mean, what was the moment where you're like, I, I, I need to do something to help other men?

[A]

You know, when I, when I started this, I started talking to my phone as therapy, right? Hey, you know, like, I, I, I remember I just dropped my kids off with her and I was super worried about them because she wasn't making good life decisions again. And I was super worried about them. And it was just me in the car and I just grabbed my phone and, and, and I just started talking to my phone. Just, just for therapy.

[B]

It's good therapy.

[A]

Yeah, yeah, yeah. So just for therapy purposes. And I posted that and I don't know, I don't know what made me post it. Right? That's like, that's a pretty personal moment. Like why? I don't know what made me post it. So I posted that and then I started getting messages and comments. Hey, you know, I can really relate to this. I can relate to that. Now, mind you, this whole time that I'm doing this, I'm thinking I'm like the only person that's ever had like, this high conflict of a divorce. And I'm going, because everyone I talk to that, you know, and I know a lot of people that got divorced, right? It's pretty rampant when you're, you know, a first responder or, you know, in that field, and I'm talking to people and they're like, oh, yeah, yeah, I got divorced and this happened. And then I tell them about my divorce and they're like, yeah, I don't know anything about that sounds pretty bad. I don't know anything like that. I've never dealt with something like that. And everyone I was talking to was saying the same thing. That's been divorced. And I'm like, who do I talk to? Like, I need someone that's been through this, that understands high conflict divorce. And so then people started reaching out and like, hey, yeah, I got this going on, too. I got this going on, too. And then I felt. I didn't feel alone. And then I started really getting into helping these people that connect with other people that are going through the same thing so that they're not feeling like they're alone. Like, I was right, because I was. I mean, I'm like, I wasn't going to hurt myself or anything like that, but I was in a dark place, Right. I was depressed, super depressed.

[B]

And men suffer in silence. Like, you don't have outlets for that.

[A]

Right, exactly.

[B]

Talking. It's funny because people think I'm an extrovert. I'm. I'm so the opposite. I'm an introvert when I'm communicating with people in real time. Like, I'm here, but they think I'm an extrovert because I'm talking to a camera.

[A]

Right.

[B]

They're like, you're outgoing. I'm like, yeah, when I'm talking to a camera, I don't like communicating openly about what's going on in my life to people.

[A]

Exactly.

[B]

But when you start talking to that camera and you start getting a little bit of affirmation and feedback and then people are going through the same thing, you realize, oh, this is not isolated. This is. This is a systemic issue.

[A]

Exactly. And that's when I started to realize that this was rampant, this was running rampant. And I, you know, I'm the type of person like, if there's a problem, gotta fix it. So people started listening to me, and I said, okay, this is what I'm gonna do. I'm going to take this platform that I have and put it to good use. And, you know, I'm gonna try for change. I'm gonna, you know, do what I can to help people that are going through this, help men that are going through this, help moms that are going through this. And I want them to be seen and I want them to be heard, and I want them to know people see you, and people are working to make changes happen. You know, just go. Going back to what you said about, you know, men are, you know, we don't talk about our feelings. Right. We keep that. Keep that Inside, Especially if you're depressed. Right. You can't be a man and be depressed. That's, you know, that's just wrong. You can't do that. And that's another thing I want men to know is it's okay. It's okay to be depressed, especially if you're going through a divorce or a breakup. You know, I've heard people say that, you know, people that have. That have been deployed multiple times, and they say, this is the worst thing I've ever been through. Absolutely. You know, after all the. That I've seen, you know, even me being a police officer and seeing all kinds of horrible in my job, still, the worst thing that ever happened to me was getting divorced and going through a high conflict divorce. I also read a study. I can't remember where I've seen it, but I read a study that's, as you know, going through a high conflict divorce is the level of trauma you go through in. That is the same as having a terminal cancer diagnosis and the grief and all the trauma. Yeah, yeah. And that really resonated with me. And so I do want people to know. You're seen, you're not alone. And it's okay to reach out and get that help that you need. You know, go see a counselor, you know, go talk to who you need. Who you need to talk to in that moment, whoever that is. I'm not saying you have to go to a counselor, but if you got a buddy, you know, you can reach out with, have a beer by a fire, just, you know, open up to them and let them know that, hey, I need a little help right now, that's okay. You know, we got to break the stigma of men not reaching out and getting the help that they need when they're in these spots. Because during these times, there's a lot of men that, you know, ultimately take their own life. Yeah. Because. Because that grief and trauma is too much for them to bear.

[B]

I saw you and Rob post about this, and I was just taken aback by it.

[A]

I want to get your opinion on it.

[B]

There's been several cases recently, one in Utah, where she went to Vegas, murdered her children, and then killed herself. And when you see just the comment threads as just a case study, I mean, it's just a glimpse into this mindset. When you see a man, this ranger, that went out and killed his three daughters, which is tragic. And I. I called him a coward, and I knew he was dead because I knew that kind of guy would never escape and evade and be on the Run knowing that he just took the lives of his daughters. But he had serious mental health issues. Takes the lives of his daughters and then they find him later. He had ultimately killed himself near the location of where he had suffocated as his poor children. When a man does it, the comment threads are, he's a monster, he's evil, he should be burned at the stake. And then when, when both of those cases, because I was tracking them before people had given their input, every single one of them were saying, what did the husband do? What did the man do? Poor woman living with the psychological damage and everything. And I'm like, she murdered her children and killed herself.

[A]

I can't believe that he pushed her.

[B]

Yes.

[A]

Point where she had to do that.

[B]

Yes. What's the mission set of present fathers? I saw you were asked this question and you responded about it the other day. Somebody said like what, what are you doing? Like, how is this helping? Do you have a structure to, to how you're doing? You mentioned clients or something like that.

[A]

Yeah, I mean, you know, I offer coaching and I keep it affordable. Right. I'm not trying to get rich off of this, but I am just one person. I'm a one man show. And so like, if people really want to talk to me, I do offer coaching. And like I said, you know, I'm not doing it to get rich, I'm doing it to help people. But I also am one person with a full time job, right. And so I have to charge something to do it. So I have that going. You know, Mark Ludwig, we're working with him, he's. I love Mark. Yeah, he, he's, he's doing a lot of good things in Washington D.C. trying to get what I was talking about early, earlier. Title 4D. Right? Like that needs to be changed, right?

[B]

What's that? What is that?

[A]

So title 4D is what I was talking about with it, with the, with the federal government reimbursing the states, right. For child support. Enforcing child support. So they go after child support. Right. And whatever they collect in child support, the federal government reimburses the state 66 cents on the dollar. Right. And so there's a huge, that's a huge incentive for these states to not have fathers in their children's life because fathers are, you know, if they're the breadwinner and they're making the most money, then that's more child support that's being generated, which means these states are making more money off of child support. I'm not saying that child support is a bad thing, because I'm sure people in the comments are gonna be like, oh, you're just, you know, you're, you're a deadbeat or whatever. I'm not saying that child support's bad thing. Children need to be supported. What's a bad thing is that it's being incentivized by the, by the federal government to the states. And these states are making money off of us paying child support, fathers paying child support, mothers paying child support. And so they're pushing child support and their division of families because the states are making money on this. And that's, that's what I'm talking about with title 4D. Mark's doing a lot of great things. You know, for those watching, go follow Mark Ludwig.

[B]

I'll put him in the description.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

Links and stuff.

[A]

Yeah, he's on Facebook. Robert Garza is another one, too. Yeah, absolutely. Go follow. And so another thing that Mark Ludwig's doing is he's pushing for equal shared parenting. Right. He's trying to get a federal bill passed to where that is the standard. So when you walk into court, 50, 50 is the standard. And you should have to prove why, why that shouldn't be the case, as opposed to walking into court and the mother is looked at as, okay, 80, 80 go into the mother, 20% go into the father. Right. And so these are the things that, that Mark's trying to, trying to get past. And I'm going to go to D.C. with Mark in June, and we're going to be meeting with legislators, and not just me, a lot of, a lot of advocates are going to be going with Mark to get things done in D.C. at the Federal level. I'm not a politician. I'm not good at politics. Right. I speak what's on my mind, and sometimes that gets me in trouble. But Mark understands what's going on, and he's, he's the one that's really pushing for these things. And I, you know, to get back to your question, I financially, I help Mark to. So that he can do what he does because he's just a regular guy, too. And, you know, he does like, Uber and Lyft and stuff like that just to, like, get by. And he does, I think, I can't remember how many trips he did last year to D.C. to work on this, but multiple, I'm going to say at least five trips to D.C. to meet with legislators. So that's another thing that we're doing with present fathers is we're, we're getting behind Mark and what he's got going on and donating to the cause that he's got going on. And then third, it's just the content that I create. Right. That resonates with people. That's how you found me. You know, it resonates with people that are in a bad space. And I want to be that person. Not just I want to be that person. I just want more people to do it too. Right. To learn. Hey, it's okay to talk about this. This is wrong. There's things that are happening are wrong, and it's okay to talk about it. And so we're doing that with present father. We're talking about it. We're getting other people to talk about it. I've created some content on how people should create content, if that's something that they want to do, what they should say and not say and things like that. So with present father, we're trying to get changed. That's our mission.

[B]

It's amazing the whole thing that you guys are doing, especially with the legislation side. It seems like we're living in the 1800s or something. When, when you, when Mark's working with you to propose that 50, 50 is the standard. Like, that's not the standard. And it's like Idaho just adopted that legislation. I saw. That's 50, 50 standard. Utah doesn't adopt that. So Utah, Utah, by statistics alone, especially with the, the church here and the traditional values that have been established here, typically always goes to the mother. And, and so these things being changed federally and state by state. I know Rob's focused on state by state legislation.

[A]

Yeah, Rob, Rob's doing a lot of great things.

[B]

Yeah. It's like the only way. Oh, I think it's full spectrum.

[A]

Right.

[B]

What you're doing, even just content wise, is super beneficial and helpful because your message res. Every one of your messages, I'm just like, I, I. How is it possible that you could ever criticize or contend that that's a bad thing? What you're doing by putting out information and, you know, and it's minimal, but I see the comments where people who are scorned and maybe on the other side of the team, maybe even a woman, are just like, yeah, this isn't good. It's like men don't have that resource.

[A]

No. And yeah. And even at the federal level, there's so many people that are in positions right in, in different cabinets of the federal government, federal government that, that are advocating for women. We don't have that. We don't have men's advocates. Right. Because.

[B]

Because we have all the rights.

[A]

Yeah. What. Yeah, exactly. And it's gotten so twisted, right, that men are, like, kind of being ousted. Right. Like, every single man walking around is. Is dangerous. And every single man that walks into a courtroom, that's in a custody case, he's dangerous. He shouldn't be around his kids. And that's. There needs to be advocates. We need more people that are willing to speak up and, you know, that are in Washington. Right. Because that's where essentially that's where things are going to change. Right?

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

Is in Washington. That's how you get change. I know a lot of people are like, well, let's do a protest. Right. And that's great. There's nothing against that, but as you know, to get change done, there's channels you got to go through.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

And that's what we're. That's what we're getting done. We're doing it the right way, right? Sure. I'm not against anyone protesting. Right. Go protest. That's great. But we got to do this the right way, and we got to do it with the right people that are already in place, working on it. So we don't need a bunch of people, right, that are working on it and going different avenues. We all need to be on one team and collaborate and get change done that way.

[B]

Yeah, I'd love to be involved in that as well. Whatever I could do to help. I hope to have Mark on. I know I'm gonna have Rob on soon. It's wild to me that police officer who's going through this, who started, you know, present Fathers is one of the top five advocates in the country for this. And there's nobody with a massive following who's like, using that, that following and that opportunity to platform and say, hey, we need father's rights. And I see a lot of people talking about, like, you know, dad life and how it's awesome to be a father, but I don't see anybody taking up for fathers. And it's so difficult because you're constantly reminded of what you're going through, but you. You continue to do it. What keeps you going?

[A]

Well, what keeps me going is, you know, getting messages from people, right? People reaching out. Hey, I was about to take my life, and I seen one of your videos, and I just want to say thank you. I just. I. I'm still here because I watched one of your videos. You can't stop doing that. There's no way. I'm never going to stop doing it. As long as I can do this, I'm going to keep doing it. If. Because I'm saving lives. We're saving lives. And I had this one. This one hit me pretty hard, but I had a dad reach out to me and he said, hey, I just want you to know that I was going through my son's phone and one of your videos was. Was one of the last things that he watched before he took his own life. And I just want to say thank you because I know that he felt comfort in those last few moments of his life. And you know, that stuff like that, that's what keeps me going. That's what makes me want to do this, where I get up and I go. Because, you know, I'll be honest, there's days I wake up and I'm like, man, I don't feel like, you know, doing this day because it's a lot. It's a lot, a lot to take in. But I'm like, you can't stop, man. You're. You're helping people. This is a great cause. You got to keep going. You got to keep doing this. And people send me messages all the time. Please don't stop. Please don't stop doing this. Please don't stop. So we're here. We're not going anywhere. We're. We're doing things.

[B]

Are you going to. How do you evolve from here with. With what you're doing? I know you mentioned potentially a podcast and in the making.

[A]

Yeah. So I actually. Actually just signed the lease on a building, and I'm going to be setting up a podcast here in the next few weeks, and we're going to be launching that. So, you know, to be on Apple, Spotify, YouTube. That's one thing I'm focusing on right now is getting the podcast going, because I think that's going to reach that many more people and it's going to help that many more people. So I'm really focusing that. My YouTube channel is super small right now. I think I got like 353 followers or something like that. So I'm trying to build that, you know, but we have a very large following on all the other platforms. YouTube is just something that we just barely dove into here. So we're working on building that platform right now.

[B]

Before we close it out, I want to know how this story, it never ends, but how it's evolved with your situation. And you had communicated to where like you were invited to a barbecue or something like that, and it was very awkward for you because you're like, how do you contend with that? How has your situation evolved? And is it. Is it in a better place?

[A]

No, it's not in a better place. No. So I did go to the. I went to a birthday party.

[B]

Oh, so you did it.

[A]

I went to my daughter's birthday party. Sure. Absolutely. Right. If I'm gonna get invited and both their parents could be at the same place, I'll put, you know, my stuff aside, and I'll absolutely be there for my. For my child.

[B]

And kids love that.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

When they see the two of you together, they. It's impactful for them.

[A]

Right, right. And then what happened was that got used in court against me. So it was a tactic to use against me in court. Well, I. I invited you to the birthday party, didn't I? And how was that? You know, so it was just a tactic to be used against me is what it ended up being.

[B]

So you went.

[A]

I went.

[B]

Supported your children, and then it was used. Like, see what I did? Because I invited you over, it's more exhibits and evidence on my side. It was that it was used in that way.

[A]

It was. It was used as an exhibit. Exactly. So it had nothing to do with the children or the benefit of the children on her end, which is fine. Whatever, you know, my daughter got to see and my son. They got to see both of their parents together at a birthday party. So whatever, you know, use the tactics that you want, that's fine. The thing that matters is my kids were. They were happy with it, and that's all that matters. But, no, my situation is not anywhere near good and probably never will be. That's something that I've accepted, breaks my heart for my kids. But everything that I've learned throughout this is only going to help other people. So if I can use my platform to help other people, that's what I want to do.

[B]

Well, that's a bummer.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

That was in the ending I was hoping for.

[A]

No, no, it didn't go full circle where we're, you know, picture perfect. You know, I'm. Trust me, I. What I want. I want to be able to eat hot dogs. Right. Eat hot dogs. Or, you know, be at these birthday parties. And it's not awkward. It's just people hanging out and having a good time and there's no tension.

[B]

Put it all behind you.

[A]

Yeah. Put it all behind you. Like, be an adult. Right. Be an adult. You don't like the person. Fine. That's fine. You don't have to like them, but you can act like you like them around your kids. Get along. Yeah, you can get along for the kids. I don't think my situation's ever going to get there, but we'll see.

[B]

I hope so, man. I hope just everybody who's listening to this, their situation can improve. I'll leave you last word. If you had advice to give to somebody who's listening to this is going through a difficult time, what's your best advice?

[A]

My best advice is take one more step. Take. Keep taking steps. It's never. It's the situation that you're currently in. It's not going to be that way forever. Tomorrow's a new day. Keep walking forward. Take one more step. Wake up one more day. You just got to keep doing what's right for the kids. If you keep your kids at the forefront of your mind and everything that you do is with your kids in mind, you're going to be okay.

[B]

I needed that advice. I appreciate you, Randy.

[A]

Pleasant fathers, man.

[B]

Appreciate you guys.

[A]

I appreciate you. Thank you.

[B]

I'll be putting all the links in the description down below. And following along this journey, I'm going to convince Randy at lunch that he needs to include me in the fold because whatever it takes just to advocate for this and what Randy, Mark, Rob are doing, I want to be part of that in the best way to help that I can, because it's important. Ain't nobody else doing it, so these guys got to get it done. And we appreciate you a lot, everything that you're doing.

[A]

Thank you. I appreciate you having me here.

[B]

Yeah, thanks, guys. Appreciate you.