A (0:00)

Foreign. Hey, what's going on guys? Welcome back to the Mike Force podcast. What happens when a man loses his mission, his purpose? And what is that? I often think about my very young experience in the military at the age of 17 and how the military defined me, but also gave me left and right limits and a backstop structure to allow me to operate, make mistakes, but also give me the discipline and purpose in this mission that really shaped my life, but profoundly distilled my purpose because I was focused, I was mission oriented and set in everything I wanted to accomplish. The motto back then was be all you could be. And I read the pamphlet and I watched the movies and I read the books and I knew all the specific gates, the short term and long term objectives that I wanted to accomplish. And then one day it was over. It was behind me. I remember the term lifer. It was often used when somebody would basically commit their entire lives to the military. At the 10 year mark, being a sergeant first class, I said to myself, do I want to continue this journey? Is this worthwhile? Because once you're beyond 10 years, you might as well commit and be in a lifer. Meant your entire life was committed to the military, except because I went in when I was 17. If I retired at the age of 37 after 20 years of service, well, I had a lot of life left in me. I look at myself even in my own reflection on video and think to myself, I'm in my 40s and I feel like my entire life has started over. I mean, truly it has. We'll get there. But truly it has. Big shout out to my premier sponsor of this podcast carnival. Look at these cute little individual packed meat packs. They do beef, chicken and pork top. Sirloin is my favorite, but 25 plus grams of protein, 25 years shelf life, camping over landing, riding on a motorcycle, which I intend to do a lot this year, and eating healthy in the field, super important. But it's also about what you stockpile in that worst case scenario, use MG10 in the coupon code down below. I don't get an affiliate kickback, but they do support the channel. So it had me thinking, because I'm not talking about quitting a job, I'm talking about something deeper. When the thing you had gave you direction, identity, purpose, when that thing disappears. I had a lot of relief stepping away from the military, but it was because I was stepping into the ladder and scale of my ultimate objective. I wanted to be a paramilitary operations officer like Mike Spann. He was one of the first he was the first casualty after 9, 11. And he died in Afghanistan. And I thought to myself after reading this story, he was a former Marine Corps officer. I was a young non commissioned officer in the army that if I stayed on course, if I did the right things, that would be my objective. I want you to break that out a little bit. Doesn't that sound odd for most people? It would. Even to you it would. So wait a minute. You joined the army at 17, you intentionally enlisted in the infantry? I actually signed up for a Ranger contract, got screwed out of that because it's the army. But then I continue my journey knowing I was going to go into Special Forces, be a Green Beret like my dad told me, because he said it was the best job, it was the best profession and best tribe of men he had ever seen. And then I knew eventually I would get my college degree because that was a prerequisite for federal employment and service and any organization to include the CIA. And then I would apply to be a paramilitary operations officer in ground branch. And then I would commit my life finding and fixing and finishing the enemy to training indigenous forces overseas. My entire commitment to this world of counterterrorism was because I bought into these ideas that I read about through John Plaster, Mac V SOG that I saw in Hollywood depictions like platoon, even full metal jacket, Navy seals with Charlie Sheen. I wanted to be something exceptional with a tribe of men that were exceptional. And why would anybody commit themselves to that? Well, it's simple. Men want adventure, we want the challenge. We want to overcome adversity, we want to fight, we want to provide and we want to protect and defend. It's why I joined my first four year stint in the military and the army at the 3rd Infantry Regiment was on accident. It's something that I had to do essentially to check the block to get into Ranger battalion Because my original contract I was screwed out of. When I didn't get what I wanted, I decided I was going to achieve everything that I could in that specific organization. I went to the Scout Platoon, which is unorthodox in a ceremonial unit because I didn't want to be a toy soldier. I joined the army to be a soldier soldier. And then I knew I could get my expert infantry badge, my airborne wings, I can go to Ranger school and I could try out to be a guard at the tomb of the Unknowns. And I did it all. And it was easy because the end objective that I had envisioned as a young man that I dreamt about was I wanted to be that paramilitary Operations officer. And everything that I did in between now and and then was to achieve that ultimate objective. You could say I was hyper focused in my purpose. I was a Christian, a believer, man of faith. I didn't run around with women. I didn't have any bad habits or addictions. I just had focus. I woke up every day, even on weekends, rucking and running and trying to get stronger and faster. I did college courses when nobody else did and they made fun of me. I started my college experience when I was 17 because I enlisted and enrolled in college immediately because I knew I had to check that block and get that bachelor's degree. That degree took me 15 years to get. And then at some point I. I got the degree in 2012. And then I got recruited by the CIA for paramilitary operations. A sequester happened, a freeze on hiring. And then instead, because I had no job, no savings, because I'd spent it all in waiting for the agency because of the sequester, I took a job at the Global Response Staff Office and shot myself in. That's how you basically validate yourself, by shooting in and then getting trained and then hitting the road. But I still wasn't fulfilled. And when I saw the guys in Ground Branch, amazing, heroic men, but they were in their 50s and 60s and they looked disgruntled. They were disgruntled. They were gray haired, some walking with limps, old and broken. A career in the military and special operations in Delta Force and SIL Team 6, the most elite men on the planet. The goats. And yet as a young man watching them, I thought to myself, that's not what I want for my life. And my purpose changed. I wong it. Sometimes your purpose is taken from you, sometimes it collapses on its own. And sometimes life just hits you so hard that the mission you thought you had no longer fits who you are. You might be feeling this way now. You might be thinking to yourself, right now, I'm lost. I feel that way. I'm right there with you. But I think it's common because I think as men with the burden of many responsibilities, the protector, the provider, the father, the husband, the friend, the community leader, we will go through cycles of having to redefine our purpose. It's why farmers who put down their tools and went and deployed overseas, that came back, who sought such profound experiences and adventure. Now, like gladiator walking through wheat fields, their hands touching the grain, they feel lost. Generationally. It's proven in a lot of studies, statistics after World War II, even after World War I, but especially after World War II, where men were gone fighting wars for years and they came back and the girlfriend or wife they left behind was with somebody else. And there was infidelity and broken hearts, broken promises. The country for certain leaned in on the best generation, the greatest generation. And then when they got back, they had nothing. Most certainly our Vietnam vets from the 60s to 75 endured trauma like we've never seen before with very little purpose, hyper political circumstances. And they came back and were spit on for going to war for their country. We're seeing that now with Gwot vets, men including myself, who question the task and purpose of the missions we are sent on. Individually. I know a lot of the missions I was on had profound purpose because it was going after a bad guy that was hurting somebody else. But the entire reason we were into those wars, especially Iraq, were for selfish, self fulfilling prophets, for lobbyists, for influence politics. But we carried the weight of that. So when that happens, when you lose purpose, most men don't know what to do next. And that's expected. I want to talk about that moment, the moment a man feels lost and most importantly, how you find your way back. And bear with me because I'm working through this unscripted, through my own experiences. The soldier, sergeant major, Green Beret, preparedness guy, father, role model, influencer to broken human being, finding God, trying to figure it out. You would think in scale it wouldn't work that way. It wouldn't work. In the beginning of my life. Everything professionally would be so squared away and I'd be at the peak of performance and purpose and mission and identity. I was that guy. All the tabs, all the schooling, all the badges. Now fast forward. If that was the spike in the graph, I'm at the bottom of it. A broken father fighting for his kids, a confused man looking for purpose. I've never prayed and asked God for guidance so much in my life. And you'd think by now in my 40s, I'd figure it out, but that's not how it works. It's rarely how it works. This one's personal, but also I want to make it practical. Because losing your mission doesn't have to be the end. You see, a mission in a campaign is one segment of the entire operation. The operation for you is life. It's God given. And it's up to you to adapt and migrate from mission to mission. Where a mission ends and your purpose falls off. Sometimes it's the beginning of a real one, of a new one, of refined purpose. I think A lot of guys are walking around right now without realizing they've lost their mission or purpose. It feels like many things you don't have. Energy, anger, that turns into resentment because it has nowhere to go to go. Numbness because you don't want to burden anybody that you love. We don't do that. We hold it in, we contain it. Distraction, constant scrolling for hours and hours and hours until you puke. Escape and sin. Porn, bad habits. Smoking, drinking, drugs, addiction. The list goes on. They're busy. You might feel busy, but it's not purposeful. For a lot of us, our mission used to be very obvious. Whenever somebody says thank you for your service, I always think to myself, one, thank you for acknowledging that. But two, it wasn't hard. It was, in hindsight, the easiest part of my life. I woke up on a timeline. I had standard operating procedures. I knew exactly what I had to pack and what I had to do. And everything was structured and defined for me. I had expectations and standards, and it was simple. Don't meet the standards. Don't get selected. Don't make the team. The military, a career, providing for a family, building something used to be something that I did. Thinking that I was selflessly serving something bigger than me. And just that gave me the purpose. And then one day I walked away. I drove away, conflicted, not very happy, actually disgruntled. And that mission for me disappeared. I still remember the day that I resigned as a sergeant major in Special Operations. Now I was in the Reserve National Guard component, so I could resign. I could just sign a letter basically resigning my position. I was a sergeant major at that time. An ops sergeant major for Special Operations Detachment Africa for one year. I got my NCR and I went, do I want to continue this? And I didn't. That same day, I sent the CIA an email and told them I was done. And after that day was over and the sun set in Northern California, I realized when I woke up the next morning, it was all up to me. And the next adventure continued. Nobody in our lives teaches men what comes next. And there's a moment every man hits when the ground beneath you holding you up, gives out. It could be losing a job. It could be losing access to your kids. Maybe it's the end of relationship. Maybe your health is in decline, or there's a catastrophe that's been identified. Maybe the career you built your identity around is suddenly gone. I can't imagine being a coder and waking up one day and realizing that AI in a couple of months is going to Take over everything. You wake up and realize the map you are using is no longer valid. And here's the dangerous part, especially for men. When a man loses his mission, he doesn't just lose direction, but he loses structure, he loses foundation. And without foundation, the mind starts filling the gaps with doubt, fear and anger. And certainly stories that destroy your momentum. I remember thinking, well, what now? Who am I if the role I built around me is gone? It happens with operators all the time. You were a sergeant major. Men, when you walked into a room, listened to every word that came out of your mouth intently. You were respected by your peers, your commanders and your subordinates. You were that guy. Now you're just Mike and nobody cares. One of the first jobs that I applied for in Colorado, actually after I got out of 10th group, was a job doing security for Department of Energy, managing infrastructure security. And you had to have a degree, which I did have, in homeland Security and crisis management. I had a bachelor's degree from Troy University and American Military University. I was uber qualified for the position, more qualified than the other guy I was in competition with. And I didn't get the job because I put Sniper on my resume. I was told this later that they saw Sniper on my resume as a potential liability. How many times have you felt maybe not advised that you weren't getting the job? You didn't get the relationship, you didn't get the whatever because of that liability that was weighed? It happens a lot. That's where many men stay stuck. Because when we're going through this, because I'm going through it now, our brains run through this course of action development again and again and again. And we're impeding our own progress because of that war gaming that's going on in her head, making assumptions, conclusions, and it's not real. Here's the truth that nobody talks about. The mission and purpose was never the job. I know it feels that way, but it was never the job. It wasn't the title, it wasn't your cute uniform. It wasn't even the external success. Those were the vehicles. The real mission and purpose was the responsibility. The responsibility for your body keeping it fit, waking up for your mind, keeping it clear to make rational decisions under pressure or stress. Your family, your faith, your community. When the old vehicle disappears, most guys think the mission and purpose is dead. It's not. It's simply changed terrain. Now let's make this practical because I want to give what I call tangible takeaways in this. The first step in the realization of this is stabilize the base. If your body is falling apart, your mission will collapse again because you're not getting sleep, you're not moving, your nutrition is crap, and you have to get your physical foundation back again. I am telling you the advice that I'm taking now because I'm currently in that situation. Angry, upset. But I know despite my inability to really sleep, I have to get my body and mind in order, beginning with stabilizing the base. Some of my habits is I'm eating clean. I don't want to eat my cortisol so high. I really don't have an appetite. I eat things like hundred volt. Like legit. Wasachweigu. Like legit. These primal power bars. Like legit. Because I know if I could just get that down and get the protein I need, I could sustain the muscle on my body and I could stay relatively fit. It's not optimal, but I could stay at a good baseline. Keeping hydrated, avoiding alcohol and tobacco. Tobacco helps sometimes. My buddy Dave just brought over some cigars. And I will partake, but I need to get hydrated. Stay away from alcohol because it's destructive, it will kill you. It's poison. Look at that next whiskey that you pour. Look, I'll. I'll individually partake if it's. It's the right situation or circumstance. But I look at it and I go, this is poison. You can go right down the road and get a gallon of poison and drink it, but you can't take psilocybin mushrooms or you'll go to prison for a felony. When you look at your day, sunshine in the eyes. Mandatory movement. Mandatory. If you can get to a hot sauna or a cold plunge to help with the chemistry. Mandatory. And stay off the Internet. Stay off social media. Do things like this. Engage. Stay off comment sections. Don't des. Scroll with the algorithm. Detecting and manipulating your behavior. And stay away from news that you can't impact or affect. Local. In your backyard. Sure, get after it. I'm getting involved with local politics. There's a huge race for sheriffs and judges and local attorneys and city councilmen and women. I'll be involved in that. But everything else external that you can affect or impact, stay away from it. Because the headlines by design or to gravitate your attention, which does nothing healthy for your life, especially in the circumstance that you're in. 2. Shrink the timeline. Stop thinking five years ahead. Think today and now, moment to moment. What can you do today that moves you forward one inch at a time? Because a little bit of momentum, even doing This. I didn't want to do this today, to be honest with you guys. I didn't want to do a podcast today. I feel like crap. I haven't really slept. Been thinking about my babies fighting in court and how it's destroying relationships and it's just messy. I don't want to do anything, but I have to because it's my responsibility as a man. I have to work. This is my work. You guys support me. This is what I do. I try to provide value for you. Step three, replace identity, Persona, virtue with action. You're not trying to feel like yourself again. I will never have the feeling of going into work and realizing I'm working with the most elite men on the planet and driving away, realizing that I'm going to go war again with my best buds. That's never going to happen. That feeling isn't going to happen again. You are building the next version of yourself through habits and repetition. One habit, one action at a time. For an example, I started the concept of long haul supply company. It's daunting to start a new company. I've done this whole process. I started one and then I lost it because of false allegations. I lost a book deal because of false allegations. We'll address that later legally. But when I look at everything I've lost, it does me no good to reflect on the past and what I've lost. I have to wake up like I've done for days and weeks and finish my book. I have to wake up for days and weeks, look myself in the eye and realize I am the security for my family and I have to provide. Or I could sit and wallow, stew, waste time. Or I could replace that identity with action. Step four, rebuild that tribe. I've been talking about tribe for a decade because I saw in my own feeling and experiences what it was like to lose a tribe in the military and how significant that experience was for me, but also how significant that experience was in loss. It was so profound. When you're in it, when you have your family, you're on top of the world. When you lose your family and the next day everything's quiet. It's hard. It's been the hardest thing that I've ever gone through. You have to rebuild it. And isolation kills mission faster than failure. You've seen it, you've experienced it, maybe in yourself. You isolate. You think that's what God wants for you. You don't want to burden your family or friends. Then you degrade, you fall apart faster. Find men who challenge you and not just comfort you who ask the tough questions. I'm very thankful that I have that tribe and I'm surrounded by those men. Step five Serve someone else. The fastest way out of self destruction is responsibility beyond yourself. You don't need clarity to start moving. You need movement to create clarity. And if you serve someone else, then that focus, that intention, creates purpose. And also, simply put, when you're serving somebody else, you're not thinking about fear and impending doom. The hardest part isn't rebuilding the external mission. It's fighting the voice that says, you failed. Men carry shame quietly. I know this firsthand from my experiences with men around me that are going through difficult times. That text message me in the middle of the night asking for advice. Nobody in the public, because they're very public figures, knows about those battles that they face. I advertise some of mine, but I'm just slightly on the surface giving you some of my experiences. But deep down inside, it's murky. We don't talk about loss well, we don't talk about fear well. But every man you admire has a chapter where everything in their life has fallen apart. It's a crossroad. Honestly, I think it's just mandatory. I think God does this to us to build us up and shape our lives for the future. It's a hard pill to swallow because you feel undeserving, you feel betrayed, you feel angry. But none of that emotion will fix anything. The difference is whether you stay down in the fetal or you fight from it. You use it as a fuel. Mission isn't found ever in comfort. Going back to the beginning. We want the challenge. We want the fight. My two year old little boy picks up his little plastic pirate sword and whacks that pillow. Why? Because the fight's in him. It doesn't have to be a physical oriented fight, it doesn't have to be war. But that energy has to be focused and navigated and allocated in a direction that creates purpose, creates mission. And it's not going to be easy and we don't want it to be easy. If it was easy, everybody would do it. We want the challenge, we want the fight. Accept that. Embrace the suck. Because it's forged under pressure. So if you're listening to this and you feel like you've lost mission and purpose, hear me clearly, you're not broken, you're just transitioning. Life has a way of stripping us down so we could rebuild ourselves stronger. I also think that God has a way of stripping us down so we could rebuild stronger. The mission now is likely going to look different than than before because you've learned the hard lessons. You're creative and you could overcome through adversity these difficult challenges in front of you because you're a man. It might be rebuilding your health, it might be creating something meaningful out of pain, but the mission, it's still there. Guys. The truth is the man who rebuilds after losing everything is stronger than the man who never had to rebuild at all. And that's always how it works. If this hit home for you, share it with somebody else who needs it. I think there's a lot of men out there walking around without a mission right now. You might have the job, the family, the white picket fence. But what I've said, if it resonates with you, there's something missing and maybe this is the conversation that helps you find it again. Until next time. Peace out, guys.