Podcast Summary: "Mind If We Talk?" Episode: How to Cope with Grief and Loss Release Date: June 5, 2025

Introduction

In the heartfelt episode titled "How to Cope with Grief and Loss" from BetterHelp's podcast series "Mind If We Talk?", host Jesu Jo delves deep into the multifaceted experience of grieving. This episode not only explores personal narratives but also provides expert insights to help listeners navigate their own journeys through loss and sorrow.

Guest Introduction: Misty Stinnett

Misty Stinnett, co-host of the comedy self-help podcast "Go Help Yourself," shares her profound experiences with grief, stemming from the sudden loss of her father in 2012 and later, her aunt Laura's terminal cancer diagnosis. Her journey through grief has been transformative, leading her to create a platform that aids both her healing and that of others.

Misty Stinnett's Grief Journey

Loss of Her Father

At the age of 25, Misty faced the abrupt loss of her father on Christmas Day 2012. She reflects:

"I really just needed the space and time to take a long time. I mean, my dad was my best friend. It happened suddenly. I haven't gotten to see him for the last 12 years and that's still upsetting to me." [24:56]

This sudden loss shattered her sense of reality, making her perceive the world as unstable and dangerous. The immediate aftermath was marked by heightened anxiety and a persistent fear that something terrible could happen at any moment.

Loss of Her Aunt Laura

Contrasting her father's sudden passing, Misty recounts her aunt Laura's prolonged illness:

"With Laura, we knew that she was going to pass at some point...it was devastating and heartbreaking, but the fact that there was space and time and iterations to be able to sit with what was coming and say what we needed to say and cry and laugh, it was a completely different experience." [07:XX]

This anticipatory grief allowed Misty to engage in meaningful conversations, providing both closure and an opportunity to strengthen familial bonds during Laura's final days.

Therapeutic Insights

The Role of Therapy

Misty credits therapy as a pivotal factor in her healing process:

"Therapy really opened up my mental and emotional capacity to sit with difficult things, to reframe situations, to start to make meaning of my pain." [03:XX]

She highlights how therapy facilitated her ability to navigate complex emotions and transform her grief into actionable positive endeavors, such as creating her podcast.

Somatic Therapy

A significant part of Misty's healing involved somatic therapy, which focuses on the connection between mind and body:

"Somatic therapy, it's dealing in bodily sensations, bodily intelligence...using real-time skills of tuning into my body." [12:51]

Through this approach, Misty learned to identify and process physical manifestations of her emotions, allowing her to release pent-up grief through activities like crying, breathing, and singing.

Anticipatory Grief

Jesu Jo introduces the concept of anticipatory grief, which Misty experienced with her aunt Laura. This form of grief involves the emotional preparation for an impending loss, providing the opportunity to address and process feelings before the actual loss occurs.

"Anticipatory grief is the experience we go through...which kind of changes all of our experience with it." [09:XX]

Misconceptions and Support

Permission to Grieve

A recurring theme in Misty's narrative is the importance of granting oneself permission to fully experience and express grief without societal pressures to "move on."

"I could feel wildly happy and desperately sad at the same time...So we all need professional guidance, helpful guidance, our community to know that we belong and that all is not lost." [16:17]

She emphasizes that grief is non-linear and multifaceted, allowing individuals to feel a spectrum of emotions simultaneously.

Actions That Help vs. Not Helpful

Misty offers practical advice on supporting those who are grieving:

• Helpful Actions:

  • Sending Food or Acts of Service: "Folks who sent food, not flowers, to be the most helpful...It was really helpful." [19:02]
  • Offering a Listening Ear: Engaging in conversations without imposing or seeking detailed explanations can provide solace.

• Less Helpful Actions:

  • Asking "How Did It Happen?": While well-intentioned, this can sometimes compel the grieving individual to relive traumatic moments.

"You never know what horrific details you might be asking them to relive, especially if it's sudden." [19:02]

Dr. Srila Roy Green's Professional Insights

Clinical Operations Manager at BetterHelp, Dr. Srila Roy Green, joins the conversation to provide expert perspectives on coping mechanisms for grief.

Navigating Workplace Grief

Dr. Green discusses the challenges of expressing grief in professional settings, where emotional displays are often stigmatized or minimized.

"When you're grieving, there really isn't a standard playbook...no one really is alone in grief, but for some reason, when it's happening, we feel like we are." [28:XX]

She advises individuals to communicate their needs clearly, whether it's taking a day off or simply expressing that they're having a tough time.

Grounding Techniques

To manage overwhelming emotions, Dr. Green suggests various grounding exercises:

• Tactile Objects: Keeping something in hand that provides sensory comfort.
• Five Senses Techniques: Engaging all senses to stay present.
• Mantras and Affirmations: Positive statements to reinforce safety and stability.
• Guided Imagery: Visualizing safe spaces to anchor oneself during distress.

"Grounding can be something as simple as, like, keeping something in your hand that is tactile...It takes practice, though, too." [35:08]

Grief as a Teacher

Dr. Green explores the notion that grief can impart valuable life lessons, fostering greater compassion and resilience.

"Grief can be a really powerful teacher if and when it's appropriate...people who have, through personal grief, they have shifted to almost like 180 in terms of their capacity for generosity and compassion for others." [40:55]

She acknowledges that while not everyone may derive such lessons from their grief, it can significantly shape one's personal growth.

Personal Reflections and Conclusions

Misty concludes by sharing how grief has redefined her appreciation for life:

"It has allowed me to embrace the finitude of life in a very healthy way...it helps me to shape what do I really want to be working on while I'm here." [24:56]

Her active involvement in volunteering at a children's grief camp, "Camp Aaron," exemplifies her commitment to transforming her pain into purposeful action, offering support to others navigating their own grief.

"Something that I do every year now is I volunteer at a children's grief camp...You're providing something so valuable to these kids." [21:45]

Key Takeaways

• Grief is Individual and Multifaceted: There's no "right" way to grieve; emotions can be complex and simultaneous.
• Therapeutic Support is Crucial: Both traditional and somatic therapies can aid in processing grief.
• Permission to Grieve: Allowing oneself the space and time to fully experience grief without societal pressures is essential.
• Practical Support Matters: Acts of service, like providing meals or keeping company, are often more beneficial than traditional gestures like sending flowers.
• Grief Can Foster Growth: When ready, grief can lead to enhanced empathy, resilience, and a deeper appreciation for life.

Notable Quotes

• Misty Stinnett:

  • "I needed permission to take up a lot of space in my grief." [00:03]
  • "Grief is so individual, it's so subjective to the person experiencing it because it's theirs." [28:32]

• Dr. Srila Roy Green:

  • "Grief is very reactive to something that's happened, a loss." [03:XX]
  • "If you're going to try these techniques, it's a really good idea to also practice them as much as possible so they become a habit." [36:57]

Conclusion

This episode of "Mind If We Talk?" offers a compassionate and comprehensive exploration of grief and loss. Through personal stories and professional insights, listeners are provided with both empathy and practical tools to navigate their own experiences with grief. Misty Stinnett's vulnerability and Dr. Srila Roy Green's expert guidance create a supportive space, reinforcing the message that no one has to face their grief alone.

Remember, if you or someone you know is struggling with grief, reaching out to a mental health professional can provide invaluable support.