Podcast
Mindful Drinking and Moderation in Midlife: How to Drink Less, On Your Terms
Hosted by Denise Hamilton-Mace | Mindful Drinking Mentor Writer, Speaker & Coach · EN
**A Spotify 'Rising Star' show** Practical moderation for the way you want to live.
Why can't I drink like I used to? How do I drink less without quitting completely? Should I go for low, no or light alcohol drinks? Why do alcohol-free drinks cost so much?
If you're in your 30s, 40s, 50s or beyond and asking these questions, this is your podcast.
Welcome to the essential show for midlife adults who want to drink less, on their own terms—without the pressure to quit completely, follow rigid rules, or label themselves as sober.
I'm Denise Hamilton-Mace, your mindful drinking mentor, writer and public speaker on all things low, no and light. Each week, I help stressed parents and busy midlife adults navigate their relationship with alcohol through practical approaches grounded in real-world experience and behaviour change strategy, not willpower or wellness culture
What you'll get:
Mindful Moderation Solo Episodes – Deep-dives answering the questions that matter to sophisticated drinkers who want to moderate smartly:
- How do I cut back when my partner still drinks at home?
- What really works: willpower vs. strategy?
- Why do premium alcohol-free drinks cost the same as full-strength versions?
- How do I navigate social situations when I'm the only one moderating?
This podcast is for you if:
- You're looking for practical advice that fits your demanding life, not another wellness overhaul
- You recognise that coasting with mid-strength drinks, zebra-striping, or bookending your evening with something non-alcoholic are all valid strategies
- You want better mornings without giving up celebrating life's special moments
This isn't about going completely dry or reinventing yourself. It's about keeping energy for what matters most: family, health, career, and living life on your own terms.
Join the moderation revolution happening in midlife – because while Gen Z gets the headlines, you're the one actually doing it.
31episodes
Episodes
Newest firstAll episodes
184. 6 Drinking Habits That Undo Moderation Without You Realising
5d ago00:15:06Tap to summarizeSend me a message 🤗Why do your moderation efforts feel like they unravel by Friday, even when you haven't had a single "bad" night? It's rarely one big decision that undoes your drinking goals — it's the small, automatic habits you don't even clock you're doing.I'm walking through six unconscious drinking habits that quietly sabotage mindful drinking without you ever realising it — from topping up your glass before it's empty, to free-pouring measures at home, to people-pleasing at the bar. Some of these come straight from my own 24 years in hospitality, where I could "pour a measure by sight" — or so I told myself. Each habit comes with one simple, practical swap you can start using this week, no drastic overhaul required. By the end of this episode you'll know:Why topping up your glass makes it impossible to track how much you're actually drinkingHow cooking, scrolling or watching TV while drinking leads to mindless overconsumptionWhy saying "I'll have what you're having" quietly hands your power of choice to someone elseHow free-pouring at home means you're likely drinking far more than you thinkWhy bigger glassware is quietly working against your moderation goalsHow the "sunk cost" mindset around wasted alcohol keeps you drinking past the point you actually want toWhich single habit to focus on first for the fastest, easiest win 0:00 How Unseen Drinking Habits Sneak Up2:31 Topping Up Before You're Empty3:41 Drinking While Cooking5:50 People Pleasing Your Drink Order7:15 Free Pouring Your Drinks8:24 Glass Size9:58 Not Wasting Alcohol11:43 Pick One Small Win for Big Change ===🌱 Ready for real change? - https://www.lownodrinker.com/4weekreset===🗝️ Become a Vault member to get access to the moderation tools that actually help - https://mindfuldrinking.substack.com/s/the-vault===✏️ Come hang out with me on Substack - https://mindfuldrinking.substack.com/===❓ Take the Midlife Drinking Triggers Quiz - https://quiz.tryinteract.com/#/68dd33385bb4a20015996a13===*Some links are affiliate links. If you make a purchase, I may earn a commission that helps me keep the show going. Thank you.
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183. Should You Worry About 0.5% Alcohol Drinks?
2w ago00:17:33Tap to summarizeSend me a message 🤗Is your morning slice of sourdough secretly more boozy than a 0.5% beer? It probably is. Grapes, bread, soy sauce, kombucha, even your breakfast yoghurt all contain trace amounts of alcohol, often in higher concentrations than the low-alcohol drinks so many of us scrutinise on the supermarket shelf.I'm breaking down exactly how much alcohol is hiding in everyday foods, why fermentation makes this completely unavoidable, and why it's physically impossible to get drunk from a 0.5% beer or wine. I also cover who genuinely should steer clear of these drinks, from allergy sufferers to those managing alcohol use disorder, so you can make an informed choice rather than a fear-based one. If you've ever hesitated over a 0.5% beer while typing "is 0.5 really alcohol-free" into Google, this one's for you. By the end of this episode, you'll know:Which everyday foods contain more alcohol than a 0.5% beer or ciderWhy fermentation naturally produces trace alcohol in foods like bread, cheese and kombuchaWhether a 0.5% drink can actually get you drunkThe UK's official threshold for what counts as alcohol-freeWho should genuinely avoid 0.5% drinks, and whyHow to stop obsessing over ABV percentages and focus on what actually matters in your mindful drinking journey 0:00 Why 0.5% Drinks Matter3:25 Bananas & Other Fruits That Contain Alcohol4:52 Bread, Charcuterie & Cheese6:04 Fruit Juices & Baked Goods7:32 Soy, Kombuchas & Vinegars9:03 How Alcohol Gets Into Foods10:54 Why 0.5% Cannot Get You Drunk13:16 When To Avoid 0.5% Drinks15:01 The Thing To Remember ===🌱 Ready for real change? - https://www.lownodrinker.com/4weekreset===🗝️ Become a Vault member to get access to the moderation tools that actually help - https://mindfuldrinking.substack.com/s/the-vault===✏️ Come hang out with me on Substack - https://mindfuldrinking.substack.com/===❓ Take the Midlife Drinking Triggers Quiz - https://quiz.tryinteract.com/#/68dd33385bb4a20015996a13===*Some links are affiliate links. If you make a purchase, I may earn a commission that helps me keep the show going. Thank you.
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182. 13 Alcohol Moderation Techniques That Aren't Zebra Striping
3w ago00:34:01Tap to summarizeSend me a message 🤗You know zebra striping. You've tried bookending. You've coasted with mid-strength. But what if those aren't the moderation techniques that click for you?Most conversations about alcohol moderation keep circling back to the same handful of techniques. This episode goes further — into 13 lesser-known methods that don't get nearly enough airtime but can make a real difference to the way alcohol shows up in your life.From If-Then planning and Time Boxing before you even get to the venue, to Wait 20 and Downsizing once you're in the thick of it, to bigger-picture lifestyle approaches like Occasioning, Weekending, and Friendly Friction — there's something here for every personality type and every kind of social situation.Some of these are structured, some are flexible. Some work on the way to the pub, some work at home when you're staring at the wine rack. And none of them requires you to immediately quit drinking entirely to make a meaningful change to your alcohol consumption. By the end of this episode, you'll know...- What "if-then" planning is, and why it works better than willpower when peer pressure tries to show up- How time boxing can short-circuit the automation of that habitual evening glass of wine- Why setting a hard drink limit might not always be the best moderation technique — but why it might still work for you- How to add "friendly friction" between yourself and the bottle without throwing anything down the drain- The difference between delay 30 and wait 20, and when to use each one- Which moderation techniques are best suited to nights out versus drinking at home- How to start testing these methods without trying to overhaul everything at once Chapters0:57 Zebra Striping & Other Common Techniques3:08 If / Then5:43 Sequencing7:44 Time Boxing10:44 Delay 3012:44 Filtering14:43 Wait 2016:44 Downsizing18:14 Hard Stop20:52 Weekending22:44 Occasioning24:24 Situation Setting26:07 Don't Buy It28:16 Friendly Friction30:46 Just Try One Other episodes mentioned:163. 5 Questions to Ask Yourself About the Pros & Cons of Different Moderation Techniques173. Alcohol Cravings Don't Last As Long As You Think (And 4 Steps To Take When One Hits) ===🌱 Ready for real change? - https://www.lownodrinker.com/4weekreset===🗝️ Become a Vault member to get access to the moderation tools that actually help - https://mindfuldrinking.substack.com/s/the-vault===✏️ Come hang out with me on Substack - https://mindfuldrinking.substack.com/===❓ Take the Midlife Drinking Triggers Quiz - https://quiz.tryinteract.com/#/68dd33385bb4a20015996a13===*Some links are affiliate links. If you make a purchase, I may earn a commission that helps me keep the show going. Thank you.
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181. Is Moderation Really Harder Than Quitting Alcohol?
4w ago00:16:20Tap to summarizeSend me a message 🤗Is moderation really harder than quitting? It's a question that comes up again and again in the mindful drinking space — and there's no shortage of people who will tell you, with great confidence, that the answer is yes. The problem is that most of those opinions come with a bias baked in.This week I'm taking that debate head-on. Not to declare a winner, but to pull apart what actually makes moderation feel so much harder for some people, what quitting asks of you that nobody really talks about, and why the wrong question might be the very thing keeping you stuck. After five-plus years of drinking differently, I've stopped asking myself which path is easier. I've got a much better question now — and it's one that makes a real difference. By the end of this episode, you'll know...- Why moderation can feel like constant self-negotiation — and what happens to all those decisions over time- How to measure success when there's no finish line or pass-fail score- Whether you're the type of person moderation actually suits, or if a clean break might serve you better right now- Why quitting comes with its own significant challenges that don't get talked about enough- What "choosing your hard" really means when it comes to changing your relationship with alcohol 0:01 The Moderation Challenge3:25 The Self-Negotiation Problem5:13 Turning Many Choices Into One8:09 What Does Success Look Like in Moderation?9:49 When Moderation Might Not Be For You10:48 Who Moderation Is Right For11:24 Personal Success in Moderation12:35 Quitting Is Hard Too - Choose Your Hard ===🌱 Ready for real change? - https://www.lownodrinker.com/4weekreset===🗝️ Become a Vault member to get access to the moderation tools that actually help - https://mindfuldrinking.substack.com/s/the-vault===✏️ Come hang out with me on Substack - https://mindfuldrinking.substack.com/===❓ Take the Midlife Drinking Triggers Quiz - https://quiz.tryinteract.com/#/68dd33385bb4a20015996a13===*Some links are affiliate links. If you make a purchase, I may earn a commission that helps me keep the show going. Thank you.
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180. Why Alcohol Tastes Different When You Drink Less
Jun 1000:22:13Tap to summarizeSend me a message 🤗Ever sipped a drink you used to love and wondered why it now tastes like lighter fluid? That's not your imagination — something really has changed.Pulled from the archives, this episode is a dive into one of the most overlooked side effects of drinking differently: what happens to your taste buds. Your palate is changing, and if you're somewhere in your low/no or mindful drinking journey and finding that certain drinks suddenly hit differently, there's a very good reason for that.I look at the science (in simple terms) of why alcohol dulls your taste receptors, how your olfactory system plays a much bigger role in flavour perception than most people realise, and exactly how long it takes for your palate to recalibrate once you start reducing your alcohol intake. There's a timeline to this — and knowing it in advance makes the whole thing a lot less confusing.I also get into the practical stuff: what to look for in low, no, and light alcohol drinks when you're trying to replace the complexity and mouthfeel you used to get from full-strength drinks — whether you were a wine drinker, a beer person, or a cocktail lover.By the end of this episode you'll know:· Why drinks you used to love now taste so strong — and why that's actually a good sign· How alcohol has been quietly numbing your taste buds and other senses all along· How long it realistically takes for your palate to change after cutting back· What the "revelation phase" is and when to expect it· What to look for in alcohol-free wines, beers, and spirits to replace the flavours you miss· Why zebra striping and bookending need a clean palette to work fairly· How your changing taste buds can become your most natural, effortless defence against overdrinking0:01 Why Strong Drinks Suddenly Hit Hard3:11 The Taste Bud Science Behind It8:25 How Long Palate Changes Take13:59 Choosing Low And No Alternatives18:29 Finding Balance in Your New Preferences ===🌱 Ready for real change? - https://www.lownodrinker.com/4weekreset===🗝️ Become a Vault member to get access to the moderation tools that actually help - https://mindfuldrinking.substack.com/s/the-vault===✏️ Come hang out with me on Substack - https://mindfuldrinking.substack.com/===❓ Take the Midlife Drinking Triggers Quiz - https://quiz.tryinteract.com/#/68dd33385bb4a20015996a13===*Some links are affiliate links. If you make a purchase, I may earn a commission that helps me keep the show going. Thank you.
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179. Motivation, Discipline, Willpower: Which One Actually Helps You Drink Less?
Jun 300:18:39Tap to summarizeSend me a message 🤗You wake up determined. You've told yourself today's different. And then 6pm arrives, someone suggests the pub, and everything you promised yourself this morning suddenly feels very far away. Sound familiar?Motivation, discipline, and willpower are the holy trinity of self-improvement advice — splashed across every gym poster and Instagram caption going. But when you're actually standing at the bar trying to decide what you're drinking tonight, how much are any of them really helping you?In this episode, I'm pulling apart all three — what they actually are, why they work in some moments and completely abandon you in others, and why none of them, on their own, is the real solution to changing the way you drink in midlife. Motivation fades once its catalyst disappears. Discipline takes years to build properly. And willpower? It's running on fumes by wine o'clock after a full day of decisions — from what to wear to how to handle that awkward conversation with your boss.The answer isn't more of any of them. It's something far simpler, far more flexible, and something you can start using immediately — no 10,000 hours of practice required. By the end of this episode, you'll be able to answer:Why am I so good at sticking to my intentions in the morning and so bad at it by evening?What's actually the difference between motivation, discipline, and willpower — and which one should I lean on to help me drink differently?Why does willpower always seem to run out at exactly the wrong moment?Is discipline something I can learn, or do some people just have more of it than others?What's decision fatigue, and how is it affecting my drinking?What does a realistic, workable plan for drinking less actually look like?How do I make better drinking decisions without needing to be "disciplined" all the time? 0:00 What's the Difference: Motivation, Discipline, Willpower1:33 Motivation And Why It Fades4:04 Discipline As A Learned Skill6:40 Willpower And Decision Fatigue9:17 Which One is Better For Drinking Less?10:17 The Case For A Simple Plan12:00 Plans For Nights Out And Stress15:08 Keep It Flexible16:19 Review & Improve at Home or Away ===🌱 Ready for real change? - https://www.lownodrinker.com/4weekreset===🗝️ Become a Vault member to get access to the moderation tools that actually help - https://mindfuldrinking.substack.com/s/the-vault===✏️ Come hang out with me on Substack - https://mindfuldrinking.substack.com/===❓ Take the Midlife Drinking Triggers Quiz - https://quiz.tryinteract.com/#/68dd33385bb4a20015996a13===*Some links are affiliate links. If you make a purchase, I may earn a commission that helps me keep the show going. Thank you.
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178. Hangovers, Hormones & Holding Your Ground: An Honest Midlife Drinking Conversation
May 2700:45:43Tap to summarizeSend me a message 🤗Sometimes you have a conversation on someone else's show that covers exactly the ground your own listeners need. This is one of those.A little while ago, I was invited onto Francesca Liparoti’s Empowered Perimenopause Podcast — and what started as a chat about alcohol and midlife turned into one of the most honest chats I've had in a while. We got into the real stuff: the moment I snapped at my son, 3 days after a casual night out, and realised the hangovers had to stop. How 24 years working in bars made daily drinking feel completely normal — until it didn't. And why the goal was never to quit, just to never feel that way again.We also got into the identity shift when your marriage, your friendships, your entire social life have been built around drinking, who are you when you start doing things differently? And how do you hold your ground with the people who take your choices personally?If you're somewhere in that messy middle — not ready to quit, but done with feeling rubbish — this one's for you. Francesca's show is brilliant, and I'll link to it in the show notes. And for the men listening: the perimenopause framing is Francesca's world, but the drinking conversation is yours too. Andropause is real; it affects how your body handles alcohol, and I've got an episode coming for you on that soon. By the end of this episode, you'll be able to answer:- Why does alcohol hit me so much harder than it used to — and what's actually going on in my body?- What's the difference between active and passive moderation, and which stage am I at?- What are zebra striping, bookending and pacing — and could one of them actually work for me?- How do I stop feeling like I have to justify myself every time I'm not drinking?- Will I still feel like me — funny, confident, sexy — if I drink differently?- How do I get from counting drinks and setting rules to just... not needing to? 0:00 Why This Interview Matters5:38 Why Alcohol Hits Harder Now8:39 Reacting to Peer Pressure & All-or-Nothing Thinking13:13 From Hangovers to Moderation18:18 Active & Passive Moderation22:50 Handling Identity, Friendship & Family Pressures29:06 Knowing Your Limits34:09 Moderation Methods You Can Try38:51 The Confidence in 'No Thanks'42:45 The Four-Week Mindful Reset You can find Francesca’s show everywhere you listen, or go to https://francescaliparoti.com/podcasts/empowered-perimenopause-podcast/ Take Francesca's quiz - https://francescaliparoti.com/podcasts/empowered-perimenopause-podcast/ ===🌱 Ready for real change? - https://www.lownodrinker.com/4weekreset===🗝️ Become a Vault member to get access to the moderation tools that actually help - https://mindfuldrinking.substack.com/s/the-vault===✏️ Come hang out with me on Substack - https://mindfuldrinking.substack.com/===❓ Take the Midlife Drinking Triggers Quiz - https://quiz.tryinteract.com/#/68dd33385bb4a20015996a13===*Some links are affiliate links. If you make a purchase, I may earn a commission that helps me keep the show going. Thank you.
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177. 3 Morning Habits That Make Alcohol Moderation Harder
May 2000:21:38Tap to summarizeSend me a message 🤗What if the hardest part of drinking differently has nothing to do with the moment you're offered a drink?Moderating your alcohol intake doesn't begin at 5pm. It begins the moment your alarm goes off — and probably even the night before. If you've ever made it through the whole day with your intentions intact, only to watch your resolve unravel somewhere between the sofa and the wine rack, the answer might not be in your evening routine at all.Three completely ordinary morning habits — the ones most of us don't give a second thought — could be creating the perfect conditions for the wine witch to win every single time.This isn't about overhauling your whole lifestyle before 8am. It's about understanding why what you scroll, what you drink, and how you slept are all quietly stacking the deck against you before the working day has even started — and what you can actually do about it without adding another impossible thing to your already chaotic morning. By the end of this episode, you'll know...· Why doom scrolling first thing in the morning makes it harder to say no to alcohol later in the day· What coffee on an empty stomach is actually doing to your cortisol levels — and why it matters when it comes to moderation· Whether your sleep quality (not just quantity) is working against your mindful drinking goals· Why your 5pm craving for a drink might have been triggered hours earlier· How to make small, realistic morning changes that give you a better shot at the choices you actually want to make· What "starting your day right" really looks like when you're trying to drink differently in midlife 0:00 How Mornings Shape Drinking Choices1:06 Doom Scrolling And The Negativity Spiral4:40 A Phone-Free Morning Reset Plan6:47 Coffee Before Food And Cortisol10:30 Sugar Crashes And Evening Pulls14:07 Protein Prep For A Steadier Day14:33 Quick Favour: Rate And Review15:18 Sleep As Your Moderation Superpower17:16 Why Sleep Matters to Midlife Moderators19:50 Final Takeaways And Share With A Friend Best episode to listen to next: 176. The Hidden Biology Behind Brutal Hangovers After 40 - https://www.buzzsprout.com/2229527/episodes/19167111 ===🌱 Ready for real change? - https://www.lownodrinker.com/4weekreset===🗝️ Become a Vault member to get access to the moderation tools that actually help - https://mindfuldrinking.substack.com/s/the-vault===✏️ Come hang out with me on Substack - https://mindfuldrinking.substack.com/===❓ Take the Midlife Drinking Triggers Quiz - https://quiz.tryinteract.com/#/68dd33385bb4a20015996a13===*Some links are affiliate links. If you make a purchase, I may earn a commission that helps me keep the show going. Thank you.
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176. The Hidden Biology Behind Brutal Hangovers After 40
May 1300:24:03Tap to summarizeSend me a message 🤗If your hangovers have gone from 'rough morning’ to ‘Someone call me a doctor, stat!’ there's a reason for that. Several, in fact. And they're not just happening to you.The wellness accounts will tell you alcohol is a poison. That's not technically accurate. But what is going on inside your body when you drink past 40 is genuinely worth understanding, because the actual picture is both more nuanced and more useful than the fear-first version you've been getting online.I dig into three major biological shifts that are quietly changing the way your body responds to alcohol in midlife: an overactive immune response triggered by something called inflammaging; The slower processing of acetaldehyde — the compound your body converts alcohol into — the real culprit behind how dreadful you feel; And a cortisol cycle that, thanks to midlife hormonal changes, now takes far longer to stand down. This isn't about scaring you off alcohol. It's about giving you the actual science — in plain English — so that whatever choices you make around drinking are genuinely informed ones.By the end of this episode, you'll know...· Why any amount of alcohol in midlife can trigger a response that feels like the onset of a cold· What "inflammaging" is — and why it makes your immune system overreact to every drink· Why it's not the alcohol itself that causes the most damage, but what your body turns it into· Why your hangovers seem to be lasting longer, the older you get, and the exact enzyme that's to blame· How cortisol and a night's drinking combine into a perfect stress storm by the morning· Why the "alcohol is a poison" narrative you see everywhere online is missing some important nuance· Why giving yourself that grace and space to recover from a night out matters more now than everChapters0:0 Why Hangovers Feel Harder Now2:25 Inflammaging and Overeager Immunity6:11 Alcohol Clearance and the Damage it Does13:41 Cortisol Spikes and The Stress Hangover19:31 Different Bodies, But We All Need Time to Recover ===🌱 Ready for real change? - https://www.lownodrinker.com/4weekreset===🗝️ Become a Vault member to get access to the moderation tools that actually help - https://mindfuldrinking.substack.com/s/the-vault===✏️ Come hang out with me on Substack - https://mindfuldrinking.substack.com/===❓ Take the Midlife Drinking Triggers Quiz - https://quiz.tryinteract.com/#/68dd33385bb4a20015996a13===*Some links are affiliate links. If you make a purchase, I may earn a commission that helps me keep the show going. Thank you.
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175. 6 Causes, 6 Questions: What's Really Driving Your Over-Drinking?
May 600:29:38Tap to summarizeSend me a message 🤗What if the reason moderation keeps feeling so hard has nothing to do with willpower, and everything to do with using the right tool for the wrong job?There are six distinct drivers behind why we drink more than we intend to — and most of us are cycling through all of them without realising it, applying the same blanket strategy regardless of what's actually going on. Cravings are not the same as habits. Fatigue is not the same as social pressure. And a moderation technique that works brilliantly when you're navigating a work do might be completely useless when you're pouring yourself something at home at the end of a long week.This episode breaks down those six causes — cravings, social pressure, habit, reward, fatigue, and mood — with a diagnostic question for each one to help you pause, identify what's really going on, and choose a response that actually fits the moment. It's not about being stricter with yourself. It's about being smarter. By the end of this episode, you'll be able to answer...Why do I keep drinking more than I mean to, even when I genuinely want to cut back?Am I actually experiencing social pressure, or is that coming from me?What's the difference between a craving and a habit — and does it matter?Is the drink I reach for after work a reward or a reaction?Which moderation technique — zebra striping, pacing, coasting — should I actually be using in different situations?How do I stop treating the symptom and start dealing with the cause?What question should I ask myself before I pour the next drink? 0:00 Why Moderation Feels Hard3:07 Cravings Explained5:01 Social Pressure Real Or Projected8:42 Habit Versus Conscious Choice10:39 The Reward Trap12:55 Alcohol, Fatigue And The Sleep Myth15:52 Drinking Through Bad Moods & Good18:16 Six Questions To Match The Cause27:24 Make Alcohol Your Choice27:50 Get More In The Vault Related Episodes:173. Alcohol Cravings Don't Last As Long As You Think (And 4 Steps To Take When One Hits) - https://www.buzzsprout.com/2229527/episodes/19053289111: Drinking on Autopilot: How Daily Stress Fuels Your Evening Habits - https://www.mindfuldrinkinginmidlife.com/2229527/episodes/17853665 ===🌱 Ready for real change? - https://www.lownodrinker.com/4weekreset===🗝️ Become a Vault member to get access to the moderation tools that actually help - https://mindfuldrinking.substack.com/s/the-vault===✏️ Come hang out with me on Substack - https://mindfuldrinking.substack.com/===❓ Take the Midlife Drinking Triggers Quiz - https://quiz.tryinteract.com/#/68dd33385bb4a20015996a13===*Some links are affiliate links. If you make a purchase, I may earn a commission that helps me keep the show going. Thank you.
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