Hello Wonderful Readers,

I felt a lot of resistance writing this piece. I’m very tired right now. Most of you reading this are not in high school, and any of my younger cousins or friends who might be are probably just scrolling on TikTok. You can see how my inner critic is already working against me! That’s why it’s important to me to challenge myself. I’m determined to write and publish this piece for you anyway.

I’m stealing the idea of this list from Austin Kleon, who stole it from Debbie Millman. I listened to his story about it on Millman’s podcast this week. Here, I’ve cobbled together ten things I wish I had known when I was graduating from high school. That year was 2013, and a lot has changed since then. Instagram existed at the time, but it wasn’t widely used. This was years before TikTok, when the first major sex scandal about Jimmy Savile came out, and Oscar Pistorius, the South African sprinter, had just murdered his girlfriend, Reeva Steenkamp.

I was finishing up my A-Levels at my incredibly fancy and academically rigorous “secondary school,” Westminster School in London. I had gotten rejected from all the top universities I applied to and was on my way to taking a gap year. I had no idea what I was doing with my life (spoiler, I still have no idea what I am doing now). So, without further ado, this is what I wish I had known at that time.

1. The mean girls don’t matter in this cruel world 🌎 .

You know Harriet and Layla, those two super b****y mean girls who kicked you out of their cool girl group? And then you cried every night when you went home for months because of all the debilitatingly painful social anxiety they made you feel? Well, it turns out that both Harriet and Layla were seriously addicted to cocaine. Yeap. So, when everyone else is starting university, they’ll both end up going to rehab. And the good news is that once high school is over, you’ll never speak to them again. In fact, one girl in their group, Sala, will run into your sister one day in TopShop on the high street. She’ll try to apologize for bullying you, but by then, you’ll be living your best life in California, so you won’t even give a f**k.

Bad things will happen to the people who treated you badly, and for a brief moment in time, that revenge from the universe will taste so sweet. But the sad news is that bad things will also happen to people who don’t deserve it. Your friend will have Crohn’s disease flares that prevent him from working for years. Your other friend’s dad will die of pancreatic cancer. Your friends’ parents will start dying, but luckily not yours, yet (touch wood).

The point is that you truly have no idea what is going on in other people’s lives. While I’m not excusing the people that treated you horribly, often the people who are the meanest and cruelest and the most fucked up are, in fact, suffering the most on the inside. So, don’t take it personally. Just keep calm and carry the f**k on with living your best life as much as you can. Life is cruel and unfair, and not everything happens for a reason because there is actually an unimaginable amount of needless suffering in the world. Which brings me to my next point…

2. You have suffered enough 💁‍♀️🩸.

So, you first got your period when you were 11. Even though you had to pop 800mg of ibuprofen every couple of hours for the first two days each time, because your cramps were too painful, you told the GP when you were 16 that your periods were “normal.” Well, girl, let me tell you: they weren’t. Experiencing that much pain on a regular basis is completely unnecessary. In fact, sooner rather than later, you’ll decide that you’re done having periods altogether. You’ll get a Hormonal IUD, the Liletta, and that will stop your periods for a good 7 years. You won’t even stock tampons in your bathroom anymore, and you’ll never look back.

You come from a super privileged background, but that doesn’t mean you should continue to torture yourself with pain. “I’ve had two C-sections, and I’ve suffered enough,” the comedian Ali Wong will say when she talks about the mom guilt she feels for not making her kids salmon with quinoa or when one of her friends tries to warn her against taking pain killers that she needs because those medications could transfer into her breast milk.

Just by the very nature of our reproductive organs, females have suffered enough. You’ve suffered enough. Don’t believe all the hocus-pocus of the all-natural girls who use flowers and bathe in rivers instead of taking real medication to manage their symptoms. The pain and faff and b******t of all the periods you’ve already had is already more than enough. Western medicine might not be perfect, but f**k it, you’re not spiritually superior for not putting hormones in your body. Don’t shame other women for putting chemicals and medications into their bodies that they need, either, or for dancing with the fairies and reading crystals. Do what works for you, and don’t be f*****g judgmental. Take the pills, or get that Hormonal IUD shoved up your vagina and run. Periods are a complete f*****g waste of time for you, and you should know sooner rather than later that you’re done with them. Get the medication you need, be grateful for it, and move on. And the IUD also prevents pregnancy, which is great news for you 😉.

3. No one remembers the worst moments of your life, except you 🙃.

Remember when you were sitting in the middle of Yard a couple of months ago, and you were wearing your favorite dark blue jumper that you got from a vintage shop on Portobello Road, and all the other students were about? And then, out of nowhere, a bird shat all along your arm? And then Harriet and Layla and their stupid gaggle of super b****y friends laughed at you? Well, you might have felt like you were going to die in that moment from shame, and that is seared into your memory to this day. But trust me, no one remembers that event now.

The bad news is that you’re going to remember the most painfully embarrassing moments of your life. The good news is that nobody else will. When it comes to these super, earth-shattering moments of shame and embarrassment, the only thing you can do is have immense compassion for yourself. First, give yourself a hug. Physically hug yourself, don’t just give yourself that flimsy mental reassurance. And then whisper words of endless acceptance and forgive yourself. Reassure yourself that no one else is going to remember and that you are nothing but a little imperfect human worthy of love and belonging.

4. Make your own money 💰 🤑.

In your senior year of college, they will start offering Business Analytics as a new major at your fancy business school. While all your other friends are winding down and partying up, it will be the best decision of your life to take those coding classes and build the technical skills of that major. You’ll find learning to code difficult, but then you’ll graduate from college with this whole extra monetizable skillset that even the banker w*****s and the consultants won’t be able to compete with.

Even though it’s boring and corporate, having marketable skills in this economy and this world is very important. You have to make enough money to support yourself and keep yourself safe. Having your own money will give you the freedom to move around wherever you want. It also means you don’t have to answer to anyone. When you get fired from your job, and you have to move in with your boyfriend at the time, you’re going to regret not having more of your own money.

So, make sure you start building some skills that are valued in the economy. There will be a pandemic, and you’ll get fired, and the economy will suck for a while. And the only way you can make it through all of that is by having your own stash of as much cash as possible. Then you’ll be able to leave any situation that you don’t like. Study hard. Get some marketable skills. Then, save money. And learn how to invest that money so you can have more of it. Don’t trust some crypto loser who is just going to blow up your bank account.

5. Take your fun interests seriously 😐 🎨.

You may think that at age 19, you don’t know much about your place in the world. But I would argue that you know as much about yourself right now as you’re ever going to know. In fact, when you go to university and start out in the workplace, the pressures for you to conform to someone you’re not are going to get even stronger. At 19, you actually have a pretty clear vision of what you want to do because you haven’t given the world enough time to beat it out of you. You want to write books, and while you’re not going to let the culture of your business school change you too much, you will still spend a good chunk of your twenties working in tech companies you don’t like, just to arrive back at square one where you already are at 19.

So, take stock right now of your interests. What do you like to do? Whether it’s writing, visiting museums, or creating art, these interests are just going to become diluted without changing as you get older. Don’t let the world and corporate A...

10 Things I Wish I Knew When I Was in High School 🤔 💡