Introduction

“How did your Spanish get so good?” a well-meaning gringa (American) asks me, gaping. She’s been in Roma Norte for six months, trying to improve her Spanish by taking classes. Unsurprisingly, that wasn’t going well for her.

“It’s a long story,” I shrug. My last four and a half years of romantic date spots and spontaneous hookups flash before my eyes. I remember all the Mexican men who patiently listened to me during my broken-fluency phase, probably because they wanted to get into my underwear. “I’ve found that dating in Spanish helps a lot.”

“Huh,” she says, pulling out her phone as if taking serious notes. Be promiscuous. Sleep around.

“Once people started complimenting me on my speaking and my ego got involved, that’s when I really started perfecting it. It’s nice to impress people, you know? But let’s be real,” I said, leaning in closer. “There’s a lot of words they’re not going to teach you in Spanish class.”

“Really?” she said, looking extra perplexed. “Like what?”

I paraphrased this list of flirty terms for her, and I’m about to share them with you. This list is not comprehensive at all; it’s organic and random, much like the way you learn a language naturally by “coqueteando y cogiendo” (flirting and f*****g) in the day-to-day. Immersion isn’t linear, and neither is fluency. Still, I hope you enjoy these silly, dirty phrases and the honest, embarrassing stories behind how I learned them.

What dirty phrases do you know in Spanish? What’s the story behind how you learned them? Share them in the comments!

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Cringey Mexican Spanish Phrases I’ve Learned

1. ¿Te gustan las nalgadas?” 🫱

It was April 2022, and I had just arrived in Mexico City. In my first two weeks, I was already exploring the Barista Man’s body (you know, the one I give the highest praise for eating me out). I had just moved into an apartment in Roma Norte with a lovely gay man and a lovely bisexual man.

A couple of days after I moved in, my housemate, Sebastian, said to me,

“¿Te gustan las nalgadas?”

I looked at him, confused. My Spanish at the time wasn’t very good, and it was almost impossible to understand him in his thick, “Chihuahuense” (person from Chihuahua) accent.

“Tú sabes,” he said, raising his eyebrows, “Nal-gad-as.”

He made a kind of hitting (spanking) gesture.

“Oh!” I cried, laughing awkwardly and blushing, “Nal-gad-as. Sí, I guess.”

That’s when I remembered something: this two-bedroom apartment had been split into three, and Sebastian had a flimsy curtain for a door. The walls were thin, and I’d really made no effort to keep the volume down. Yikes.

Official Tash Translation: “¿Te gustan las nalgadas?” = “Do you like to be spanked?”

Cringe Learning Level: 8/10. It would have been 10/10, but I was too proud and newly falling in love with Barista Man to care.

2. “Eres bien sabrosa.” 👅

This was one of the first dirty things Barista Man said to me. With his head between my legs, telling me I am so tasty, he somehow stroked my ego and my clit at the same time. There’s something particularly hot about someone professional, who tastes things for a living, telling you that you’re yummy as hell.

I replied,

“¿Tenías hambre?”

As you know from my BDSM test results, I love being a brat, feigning power before I relinquish all control and descend into blissful chaos. I didn’t speak very good Spanish at the time, but this phrase seemed fitting.

Official Tash Translation: “Eres bien sabrosa” (to say it to a girl) or “Eres bien sabroso” (to say to a boy) = “You’re so tasty.”

“¿Tenías hambre?” = “Were you hungry?”

Cringe Learning Level: 7/10.

Send this to a secret friend 👀 ✨

3. “¡Qué chica mala!” 🙅‍♀️

Barista Man also said this to me when I’d put his fingers in my mouth to tease him, or when we’d have a particularly sexual text exchange, and I mentioned all the dirty things I wanted to do to him later. Of course, I loved to hear this from him, but it also made me cringe because I have a massive praise kink, so being called a good girl or a bad girl really is my jam.

Official Tash Translation: “¡Qué chico malo!” = “You’re such a bad boy!”

“¡Qué chica mala!” = “You’re such a bad girl!”

Cringe Learning Level: 10/10.

4. “¡Qué rico!” 🤤

I guess food isn’t the only thing that tastes good in Mexico, or so I learned when I found myself in the arms of a Colombian man. I was trying to suspend judgment about his open relationship and flat personality and just enjoy myself for a second. Jesus Christ, let the girl live! I let him ravage me.

“¡Qué rico! ¡Qué rico!” he said between kissing and biting my cheeks, neck, and nipples. I was extremely turned on, I’m not going to lie. Apparently, he didn’t get this with his long-term partner, but I wasn’t about to ask him about that.

Unfortunately, he wasn’t more articulate or imaginative, because he quickly followed with,

“¡Qué rico! ¡Qué rico!” again. Even though he was cute, his relationship status and lack of interest in anything committed with me stopped me from going any further.

Still, that night taught me about the beauty, richness, and abundance in Latin culture. He helped melt my cold, grey, English heart just a smidge. In Mexico, “rico” isn’t just about wealth or riches. It’s that tasty, irresistible spice of life that tantalizes your senses with pleasure.

I never kissed that man ever again. Whatever.

Official Tash Translation: “¡Qué rico!” = “How rich / delicious / hot / tasty!”

Cringe Learning Level: 7/10.

5. “¿Estás enculada?” 🤪

Two years into living in Mexico, my Spanish was finally good enough to “chismear con mis amigas” (gossip with my female friends). To this day, I’m convinced that girl gossip is the ultimate test of Spanish fluency. It’s hard to keep up with slang, subtext, and secrecy in a second language!

We were sitting by the pool at our hostel in Bacalar. I told the girls that I had a new “noviecito” (lover), and I was so obsessed with him that when he booty called me at 11pm one night, I got in an Uber immediately and went all the way to the other end of Mexico City, Pedregal to be precise, just to snuggle with him. Yummy.

Official Tash Translation: “¿Estás enculada?” = “Are you head-over-heels-obsessed?”

Cringe Learning Level: 3/10.

6. “Coges muy rico.” 😋

The highest praise I ever received from a Mexican man came after we spent the night together! We had been up doing all ungodly things, taking full advantage of “la madrugada” (the hours between midnight and dawn). I have the WhatsApp messages to prove it!

Official Tash Translation: “Coges muy rico” = “You f**k so deliciously.”

Cringe Learning Level: 4/10.

7. “Tienes tu ganado.” 🐮

I was out to dinner once with a group of Mexican men and foreign women. At one point, we were passing a copy of The Intimacy Journal around the table, and one guy asked me if I was dating anyone. I listed off two current loverboys who had both messaged me, wanting to see me that night. I love a good stroke of the ego. Then he said,

“Tienes tu ganado.”

I nodded vaguely, pretending that I knew what he meant. Then he clarified,

“You know, your cattle?”

I was even more confused, but I laughed. It’s not a tasteful phrase, but I do feel powerful when I lightly objectify my various situationships. Now I use it to tease Mexican men who are flirting with me, but who rudely pick up their phones and start texting in the middle of our conversation.

Official Tash Translation: “Un ganado” = “A herd of lovers”

Cringe Learning Level: 1/10.

Don’t Make These Mistakes!

8. “Una chaqueta” 🧥❌

If you’re trying to say “jacket,” you’ve got it all wrong, girl. That’s “chamarra.” “Chaqueta” in Mexico means w**k. So when you say, “Me gustaría una chaqueta,” make sure you mean it to someone you want to masturbate with, not something that will shield you from the cold or the rain. Stay safe out there! For straight men, beware that you don’t accidentally offer a chaqueta to a lucky lady. And if you happen to want a b*****b, that’s “mamada.”

Official Tash Translation: “Una chaqueta” = “A w**k”

“Me gustaría una mamada.” = “I would like a b******b.”

Cringe Learning Level: 11/10 potentially, if you use it incorrectly. 5/10 otherwise.

9. “Me gustas tú.” 💋

A.k.a. the title of an iconic song and recommended listening, “Me Gustas Tu,” by Manu Chao. More than liking a food or an object, when you say “Me gustas tú,” it has purely sexual undertones. I like to say it only when I’m leaning...